Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: A Very Schlong Engagement - Live from Nashville

Episode Date: December 7, 2018

Vanderpump Rules is back! And to celebrate we recapped the season 7 premiere in Nashville, TN. It's a wild, raucous recap and we can't be held responsible for anything we've said. Just listen and enjoy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardyirty, dowty! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay, no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayertailer! Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson! Hava Nagila Weber!

Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Lisa Wallent, now that's what I call Wallentainment. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Mina Kuchi Kuchi Kuchi! Susie, going to the To-Bish! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!

The incredible edible Matthews sister! Give them home! Miss Noel! And Lizzie Drucker! A fun mother f- Watch what crap bins! Watch what crap bins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins?

What's what crap bins?'s so much that happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? Who happens when there's so much that happens? Who happens?

Who happens? Who happens? Who happens? That's so funny. It's overwhelming. I'm just kidding. I think so. Green Chef is a USDA certified organic company that includes everything you need to easily cook delicious meals. You can feel good about it, okay? Whoa, and would you believe it girls? Green Chef is now part of the same company as, hello, fresh, so you guys, we're all big, one big happy family, am I right everyone?

And here's what else, recipes are quick, and easy with step-by-step instructions, chef tips, and photos to guide you along. Green Chef expert chefs design recipes with gourmet flavor, you typically only find it restaurants. Green Chef thinks dinner should be planned around your life, not the other way around. With Green Chef, it's easy to maintain a specialty diet and enjoying exciting new options.

Meal plans include Paleo, Vegetarian, Vegan, Keto, Gruten-Free, Amnivore, and CaliVore. Whoa, Green Chef thinks dinner should be planned around your life, and not the other way around, okay? We love us some Green Chef, and we also love some Hello Fresh, and guess what? We don't even have to compete now, because they're both the same company. They work together to create amazing meals and we eat them. Yeah guys, so go to greenchef.us. Guys, it's dot us for $50 off your first box

of green chef. Okay, so it's green chef dot us slash crap ends. That's green chef dot us slash crap ends. And would you believe it girls? Green chef is now owned by hello fresh. We are so excited to be here. I have this rule not to go out and get shit face tonight before because I'm just useless. Yeah. I mean, I was useless. I've always been useless. But especially, oh, especially getting into older age, you know, I have two drinks. I need like five days in bed, okay. I can't just get up and like, you want to have lunch? Yeah. No, I don't fucking want to have lunch, okay. I'm going to look at you. I barely even want to pee. If I could pee in my bed, I would do it. But we did it. And look, I'm gonna look at you. I barely even want to pee. If I could pee in my bed, I would do it. But we did it and look, I'm thrilled. It's so fun.

You guys have worked so much energy. We were gonna have a tame night last night, but you know, we were in Nashville, so we did the thing that we had to do, which is that we went to Upperland. I mean, look at that. Okay, Lord, anything like that? Okay, Lord, thank you very much. We were like, how do you find a gay bar? What? What? What? What? Gaylord, anything like that?

Gaylord, thank you very much. We were like, how do you find a gay bar? Because in Texas, you just, in Texas or New York, you just Google dick or cock because that's, they're not very creative, you know. It's like the dick. There is a bar in New York called the dick, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Couldn't find it. So we just went through every name that people called us when we were younger. And Gaylord hit the spot. We're like, can you believe it? There's a gigantic gay bar outside of Nashville with Christmas lights. And it's royalty. It's a gay lord.

It's a gay lord. Finally, religion has caught up to us, Ben. I love this place. This is our second city winery show. Just looking out at your beautiful faces and all these candles and Christmas lights is just gorgeous. So thank you guys. Yeah. Now on a complaining note, Michael, our gorgeous waiter, this is not going to suffice. So I'll need another one of these on loan. Thanks. So you guys guys welcome to watch our crap. No excuse me. But all the crap on Bravo, we love to watch. We do have to get to that because you know that's kind of why we're here.

But Ben Mandelker turned 40 years old. Yes. Barney. It's true. It's true. So you know how happy I am that this, yes. Hold on, hold on, there's a moment. It's an intro. It's an intro. How dare you? Before we get to that, but we will my little loves. Before we get to that, some of our good friends sent us some video messages. friend sent us some video messages. Liding Ben, do you have this video ready? Let's do it. Oh my god! Hey it's Kate from below deck and this video is for Ben's birthday. But first, because you know how for special occasions I like to wear a dramatic scarf. Oh good. Oh, good.

There we go. Then happy birthday. I can't believe you're so old. Stephen from Summer House, but you knew that. I hope that you drink lots of rosé and you send it and I can't think of any other tag lines from that dumb show. I love you. I'm so thankful to Bravo World for bringing you into my life. Hey Ben, it's your birthday. Wish I was there with you guys, but look where I am. Whoa. And have the best time.

I can't wait to see you guys when I get back. And what's up, everybody at the live show Ben Happy birthday buddy. Hope you're having a great time. I'm sitting here in sunny Southern Florida and just having a ball getting ready for Christmas But I want to take the time to wish you a very happy 40th birthday. I know you're doing well Your shows are killing it. I'm so happy for both of you. But happy, happy birthday, buddy. Hell, 40th. I can't even remember my 40th. With any luck, maybe you won't remember yours either. Okay, honey. It's your fellow Sagittarian here. I just wanted to wish you a very, very happy birthday.

Sorry, I look like shit. I've got a tooth infection. Happy birthday, in here. I just wanted to wish you a very very happy birthday. Sorry, I look like shit I've got a tooth infection Happy birthday. Happy birthday. I can't wait to see you next year in LA and come party with you guys. Love you Hi, fans. I am just here to birthday. I just wanted to tell you that I know it's your 40th, but not to worry because last year I had my fortieth and it just didn't amount to anything. You'll persevere.

Anyway, much love, ma. Now I love how Ben and Ronnie always do impressions of everyone, and I think it's only fair that for Ben's 40th birthday, I do a Ben impression. So like, here's the thing. If you're in the Nashville area, you can still get a chance. There's still plenty of chances to wish Ben a happy birthday. Like, I mean, like, when I was cooking out of my barefoot contestant cookbook I like totally wanted to make a birthday cake but here's the thing it's like not

a normal birthday cake and I can't just make any birthday cake for Ben. Happy birthday I hope I nailed it. Who is the cutest little December baby in the whole world? It's you! Happy 40th and I hope this year is your best ever and that lots of crap in this goes on. Happy 40th, sweetheart. Oh, and by the way, it's all downhill from here, buddy. Sorry. Happy birthday, handsome. It's sweetheart, oh, and by the way, all downhill from here buddy. Sorry, happy birthday handsome.

Muah. It's Margaret Joseph and I'm from California, but today, and I am wishing you happy birthday. I'm sorry I'm not wearing the pigtails for you. I normally would, but I didn't plan it properly. I had to go to the dentist. So you know what I love you? Even then I almost had a root canal.

I'm wishing you happy birthday, but you know what the problem is, I didn't get a birthday party invite. Where's my freaking invite? Why am I not attending a gala for you? You know how much I love a party. The more it should bring her a game to you. No seriously, I hope you're having the best day ever, you know, 40s the new 30s. So happy, happy, happy birthday Ben. And Ronnie, you and I need a fabulous birthday dinner so hope you're celebrating in style love you love you Love you boys. What crap ends? Classic March Ben, it's your mother fucking birthday Act like a terrorist and just like a demand that everyone celebrate and treat you like a fucking king

Happy birthday to one of the funniest people I know. Oh! Happy birthday, and be side! Be side, happy birthday, say happy birthday. Ha ha ha ha. You're not even ready, are you? Say happy birthday. That was happy birthday, be side.

Ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, thank you. Oh my God. Thank you. I love you. Ha ha ha ha., thank you. Oh my God. Oh my God. Thank you. Oh my God. Oh my God. That was a big...

Ben became internet famous recapping big brother, but then the hills. So we had to get some hotty and spencer in there. And thank you to Annabelle Desisto for helping make that app, making that app. Wow. That's everywhere. Annabelle. Yeah.

I literally thought that was Sandra Lee at the end. I was like, he got Sandra Lee! It was even better. Wow, thank you, Ronnie. That was amazing. I couldn't believe you got a classic mark. Okay, now, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. There you happy birthday. Oh

Oh my god Thank you guys That's okay. There's a cake, and on top of the cake, I'm gonna show you guys, but I don't know how to do that. We should take a picture. It's a picture of Luan. It says, be cool, don't be un-gul. You guys, thank you so much.

Oh yes, girl. I could not think of a better way to ring in 40. A lot of people are like scared about turning 40, but I feel like I'm just hitting my stride. And it's really thanks to you guys. So thank you so much. And thank you Ronnie. My work has been. Wow. That was amazing. Okay. We'll get to this free cast. For those of you who were like, we've never been to a podcast before. I just Well, we've got a classic art for those of you who were like, we've never been to a podcast before. I just said, welcome to the next 18 hours of your life. I know.

I know. My ass is staying up here forever. That was so nice of those people to send those messages. Now, let's make fun of all of them. Yeah. Now, let's rip them up. We have very important business to do here, which is we must address the fact that Vanderpump rules premiered this week.

And it needs to be recapped. Hell yes, what a show. We were going to do this recap, but Lisa Vanderpump quit in the middle of it. You winp. Oh by the way, we should mention that there is a celebrity here in this audience. Oh yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Susie was there also and we gave her a shout out, but we didn't give a shout out to Mina Kuchikuchiku, who was there, so that's up-related. Pretend like she's here right now and cheer for Mina Kuchikuchiku. So this was a very LA heavy opening, okay.

Trixi Monaco is back in all of her glory. Oh, huge, Trixi Monaco. Orca Strading the Bravo shows, she's back with a bunch of girl power songs, but they decided that vagina's just weren't enough this time So we're gonna celebrate vaginas in LA specifically Which I thought was really fun. So the first song is like let's go It goes around the world they come to this place Girls around the world they come to this place. That's nothing better. That's nothing better

The Los Angeles There's nothing better. The Los Angeles. Then a violin came out and just pissed right in front of her. Welcome to LA, honey. Okay, so we open. I have to take this off. This is the part where Ronnie makes a sock puppet. I tried, but I feel like I'm about to be led to slaughter.

You got to take this. Yeah, I'll hold it down. Thank you. Teamwork makes the dream work. Yeah, I'll hold it down. Thank you. Teamwork makes the dream work. Yeah, you like that? This is for you. Thank you.

God, I feel so much better. For those. Is that tape? Because it's music city. For those that home Ronnie just took off his shirt. That's why I always got to come to the live show. OK. So we open with the way that we need to open.

Sheena making one syllable sounds, okay? Sheena is walking into Sir with Lala. And all Sheena says this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's, I'm actually convinced it's the sound of her shoes. Like remember those, like, what were they called like LA kick So something like that where they like flash red when you walk on them, but like she does just go So they're walking in and my law is talking about which is like I feel like staying between

120 and 123 is perfect and See and it goes Staying between 120 and 123 is perfect. And Sina goes. Err. Err. Thank you. And then she's like, I like when I can feel my ass bounce. And Sina goes. Err.

Err. So fun, right? And Sina goes. Err. And I was like, this is gonna be a good season. That's all I mean. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of Shina this episode, but the Shina that we did have was really effective,

I thought, you know. There's a lot of squeaking and a lot of delusion, you know. It's like planting some queen from out in the waiting line to ask her on a date while she's working. I mean, I've seen a never change.'s working. I mean, scene of never change. Never change. She is one of those gifts that keeps on giving, you know? But like a bad gift, I keep on giving.

Yeah, she's like a STD kind of gift. She's like, just keeps coming back. She's like a Hanukkah gift that keeps on giving. It's like an endless box of socks. So like more socks, more socks, more socks, not as cool as all the Christian. Why did puzzles have to go out of style? So like, oh jeez. Okay, so the song is so fun.

By the way, happy Hanukkah to my people tonight. Woo! Scattered applause. So the song is still pumping. There's nothing better than this. And then we see Katie logging into her squirrel machine. I know. Waiting tables.

It's like the show. I love this show. They're like, everything's great. Okay, god damn it. I spilled a drink. I spilled the drink. The neutral child. I like to think that Katie actually has like a machine

that serves squirrels. Like her squirrel machine is really like you press a button and a squirrel comes out. It's like, all right. And they're all seen up. That's the only way that business would work. I will take one squirrel. Just unleashing squirrels. So then Arianna and Tom are at their squirrel machine,

and Tom's like, oh, shoot. Aw. I forgot my earplugs. Come on, come on down, Arianna. and Tom's like, oh, shoot! Oh. I forgot my earplugs. Come on, come on down, Ariana. Come on, come on! She saved my forehead for this. It's going to be a loud one tonight. So then next to show up, because they're all like arriving,

it's like how we're going to herald in the new seasons. Now is James and Raquel, and Raquel is like wearing like a do they're all like arriving. It's like how we're going to herald in the new seasons. Now is James and Raquel. And Raquel is like wearing like a doily or something like that. And she's like excited for another see you next Tuesday. It's like Raquel, you're talking to a lamppost right now. Oh, sorry. She's actually starting off how she first came in. Well, she came in in her underwear, too.

Was that only Brittany who did the job interview in her underwear What did Raquel wear because she's wearing like a Victoria secret see through boostie a thing in a bra, you know like yeah welcome to work so She's like are we gonna have another amazing Next Wow Raquel's really been working on her energy. Yeah She's really starting to reveal a lot of energy and personality there. She's really bringing it this evening.

Yeah. Like she's really blossoming, you know? Like a corpse plant. Yeah. What's that smell, babe? Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. All right, stop. All right.

Everyone be quiet. It's the one and 100 years event. She has personality right now. And she smells like a corpse. A corpse plant. So then Lala, I feel like we start to see, I feel like they're planting, speaking of plants. I feel like they're planting a little seed

of a future rivalry because Lala's just at the host stand, but I need to be a host this. And Billy Lee comes up and goes, I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. I know fun's allowed. really lead comes up because no phones and loud also she comes up with a stack of three menus and this is how it looks. Okay this is how big these men she's like like Jesus Christ.

This is how they all stay worked out. It's like their billboard, you know. Lisa's won, potato salad. I need to try a big wooden menu this big. He's covered in fat. So Lala's like, this bitch thinks that she's my boss. That's real cute. That's real cute.

Does she have a PJ? I don't think so. I don't think so. And she's going to get in so much trouble because the voice she did for Lily Lee. I like that name, actually. That'll be mine. Yeah. That's true. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no've been following Instagram. Alright, fucking with Billy Lee ever. I don't even think we should talk about it today.

Let's just keep her lily-ly and leave her alone. Ah! Well, you're in luck. I'm gonna leave that. You're in luck, Ronny, because she's not on the rest of the episode. So, it was like a little smattering of Billy Lee. Sometimes you ask and call it unsus!

So then we leave, and we go to some magical place that I like to call Jack Sprinney's apartment. You guys, things have changed. Now, Jack's is making turkey sandwiches, so he's a new man. He figured out how to take meat from one area and put it on a bread. You guys thought I was going gonna say something dirty about meat. This is so fucking phony, this whole jacks thing.

And we're gonna talk about it a million times, probably in this hour, but I am buying a jacks, okay? I love his completely drugged out red leathered face. I think it's so funny. I'm a huge fan of drugs, okay? I'm not saving someone for doing drugs, but I'm at work. You know what I mean?

Like there's cameras coming. BMS alone at home. So yeah, he's like, hey, oh, also he's adopted this new, this is so mean to say I'm sorry everybody, really sorry. But whoever has TLC understands the 600 pound life voice. And as someone who loses and gains weight all the time I can tell when I'm gaining weight not by looking in the mirror But how I actually talk because your throat gets fat, right?

And so you get this like So jacks for whatever reason lost like 50 pounds. I mean he looks great But I think it transfer it. I don't know that he can work out here. I don't know what's going on. He moved it. But it's like my Jack's 100 pound life. He's like, hey, you want to took a...

Damn. Trophy back, crick-n-o. Whatever's under my foot and nails. I was like, what is this? And then we cut to Brittany, who's like, she just suddenly is like going like, what is this? And then we cut to Brittany who's like, she just suddenly is like going like, that sounds great.

I was like, what are you doing? She's like moving furniture around her living room. She's like setting up a carnival, you know? She's like setting up like a, like a steno pool or something. I'm here. And it's so bright. It's pink with those big lights, you know? It's a little makeup.

It's like a donkey cart. What am I trying to say when I was wooden carts? You know what I mean? Why am I a cart? Why am I a cart? I think that was donkey cart. I think that's just a cart. A cart, a wooden cart.

It's very brightening. Like, she brought it from home, you know? It's like a wooden cart. Yeah, that you put on the donkey. It's like apples, peanuts, two eyes to see the jack show. Turkey sandwich is. I'm gonna put up my little station and then she starts putting on plastic gloves. I was like, what is happening over in her little world?

I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna do the same. Jack makes one turkey sandwich and look what he expects after. He was like, damn!

You two have learned how to make it work. I think that now would be a really good time to go to commercial because Rob is so good at commercials and he can do the like seven minutes of lasings. Amazing! Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter, or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, Jacks, you know, because it's now this is Nice Jacks, capital N, capital J, TM, you know? So Nice Jacks is like, I regret pretty much 99.9% of every decision I made last summer. I was like, that's nice, but like, there were a lot of terrible decisions that happened before last summer too. And after last summer, so like, it's nice that you're like feeling bad about one season of your life. Yeah, he got a lot of ground to make up their percent.

Yeah. So he's like, you know, and he starts listing on me. He's like, the whole cheating with Britney. I resigned from score. I deleted friends off my DVR backs and now sleeping Netflix. Really regret that one the most. He's like, yeah, I just have to give up that whole hockey job in Florida.

Oh, really? You gave that a hockey job. How will they ever find someone to run Twitter at a hockey team? Oh. How are they getting on without you? Yeah. You guys, I've decided that I'm going to turn down

the offer from the bruckets. I'm just feeling so happy here with Ben. I do want to say, Ronnie, I was thinking about going on tour with Farmer, but I think I'm going to stay here. I'll stay with you. Thank you so much, Ben. Because I know what me Grant has been blowing up my phone. I know.

You know, it's so funny, Vince Gill has been blowing up my phone. We both turned down an opportunity and we would have stayed together. How we taking them? Oh, I love right. So he's like, I realize it was between the dream job. It's kind of Dorenda, right? Because she has it too. It's between the dream job and the dream girl last year.

So why chose the girl? You chose your dream, a girl with a job. Okay, just say it that way and I'll be proud of you. Well, that's too bad. I feel bad that he lost his dream job to like an intern named Troy who just came out of life for our state. So, um, so Britney is like, I am just so glad that I stayed with Jacks for some reason. My heart just wouldn't let him go.

I'm like, it wasn't your heart with your daddy issues. Sorry. It was your television job. Listen, I'm like everybody on this cast. I will pretend to like Brittany for no just kidding. I actually really like Brittany. She seemed sweet and lovely. I like her.

I love how she got her. So I love watching Insta Ho actually win the Golden Ring. I mean, I've been proud of her from the beginning for that. How an ain't easy, especially when it's Jack's moving into you. Yeah. Horatio Alger would be very happy. It's like your golden watch. How an ain't easy, especially when it's Jack's moving into you. Yeah. You know?

Horatio Alger would be very happy. Yeah, it's hard. It's like your golden watch. So, you know, I say good for her. Yeah. Stop self-harming with the facial stuff. Why do you have a triangle face now? She looks like a veggie tail.

A pretty one. But why would you, what was wrong with your other one? Your other one was still working. You know? It's like me just buying iPads whenever a new one comes up. I don't need that new iPad. It still does the same shit the other one was still working, you know? It's like me just buying iPads whenever a new one comes up. I don't need that new iPad. It still does the same shit the other one does. I can't believe you said she looks like a veggie tail.

She does. She looks like a yield sign. A pretty one. It's well done. It's a good work. I just why. Well, that is a good description. So look, once you get a double chin, you keep it.

And those of you with a double chin understand, this is how I can watch TV now Why would you get rid of that? It's like having a perfectly beautiful foam neck thing on the plane and just throwing it on the ground and Then paying someone to do it So as evidence of Jack's being a new, better man, he's bringing his like, I mean, he's really changed. I'm gonna he helps with the dogs now, he buys groceries, he even buys my tampons.

And then we see like, we see like this, like flashback of Jack's the grocery store picking out flowers and he's like, he's like totally like confused by it. It's like, tampons. What is this? This one says, for super, super vaginas. Yeah. Can I meet her?

Yeah, it's like they're super, super duper, vagina, shina, muffbuff, meat taco, plug the dike. I'm like, these are not even names of things, Jacks, okay? And when it said he gets her groceries now, he went to the grocery store and all he got was flowers. Who needs that? He probably got pussy willows for all the wrong reasons.

He's like, it's my favorite movie and my favorite thing. So, yeah, so, Briny is like, I always knew he had something better inside and it cuts him literally farting. He had something inside. When he was talking about the tampons, he's like, super duper. Does that mean you have your vagina super powers? I was like, she's had the equivalent to kryptonite inside of her over and over again for years now. I would say so.

I would say that's a I hope it's over text messaging No, Brittany is mad about something that James wrapped about and so we now go back to the restaurant where we see We see Tom Tandeval talking to James. He's like dude Let's like watch it on the freestyle tonight, yo. Yeah, chill it on the freestyle. I didn't bring my earplugs. It's me on the volume wave. You know what I'm saying?

I don't know what you're saying, actually. Raquel, can you translate? She's like, the squirrels are on the fritz. Anybody knows what going on? What's going on? Raquel's drawn in France. Anybody knows what going on? Rick Hell's answering a question. Rick Hell's just hitting the wall like a broken room bomb. Corners are hard. Rickan! Rickan! Rickan!

Music, here we go. You're doing great, you're doing great, you're doing great. Isn't she just wonderful. So James tells us why he's in trouble. He was freestyling, which is his art form, you guys. Yeah, it's his gift. He was freestyling to see you next Tuesday night. And he was like I was you know I was doing this I was doing this rap wiki wiki wiki. I

Just got rich. I might cop a black race everybody remember when jack's fuck. They I have to tell you some of the best rap Some of the best rappers in the game, like, their best lines are like, Hey, everyone, remember's when... Great. So... Sounds like, no dude, no! No!

No! No! My favorite time standable. How bad are you? I'm just like, I mean, here's how it goes. I mean, I had to run with faith, and what rhymes with faith? Am I right, everyone? Am I wrong?

It was brilliant. It was brilliant. There are so many words I rhyme with faith. Beyond black race. Are there? I actually tried to come up with some today, and I was like, I don't think there are. There's not, right? It's like orange. It's faith. It's... Lath. Path, cave, cave.

Lena with... There's nothing. What is it? You guys have a joint brain somewhere in the show. That's what I have. We're on the same page. Faith. Like, you need to base. So safe, Ben.

Let me tell you something. It's the New Coop Rose Wars, okay, bro? New Coop Rose Wars. I'm like, what are you even saying? Especially, why would you even need a pick faith? Jackson's fucked so many people. But Jackson cheated on everybody. You can run there with something.

You know? Who am I, Harmon? By Jackson's fucking Carmen. common there I did it. There's so much of you in C. Hey remember Lord Lee. And of course we do remember Lord Lee. When is she gonna come back? Check my jelly I just fucked Ellie. Wait that was about me sorry Raquel. She's like what? Back on track back on track I just breathed in my own spit you see this is why I'm allowed to make fun of people like Jacks.

So when they're- I have spit hanging on the back of my throat, waiting for me to choke on it. My body's trying to kill itself. So James is like, that's my art man. You know, do you think Kanye is going to fucking apologize for saying, I'm gonna fuck the next black cat, Mostenart? Do you think Kanye is gonna apologize? I'm saying I'm gonna fuck the next black Kate Moss tonight? Do you think Kanye is gonna apologize? I'm like, you know it, it might be a good time to like start separating from Kanye at this

point. Yeah, I love these things. You know what I mean? Well, that season we're like, okay, this happened after they shot the show, but now we're in current times now, James. And he's like, it's epic. It's epic. It's epic.

It's epic. It's epic. It's epic. It's epic. Ray Faye. Everyone was like, laughing, laughing, you know what I'm something with something, man. And they're like, yeah, never heard that before. Oh, Rick has. She's in the corner again.

Come on. Come on. Come on. So then we cut back to Brittany, who's now got a turkey sandwich. Yes. A pink bow dryer. A pink brush. I sandwich, a pink bow dryer, a pink brush, I mean, the woman's like,

she's got 90 things in her hands and she's eating the sandwich with her gloves on. Okay. And she's like, it was so embarrassing, yeah, yeah. Where did Britney's new accent come from? Where is that? We're in the South, I can ask it. We all recognize that accent.

That is not the same accent. She's just saying five words in one now. She's like, it was so embarrassing, and they needed to be danger. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. How many syllables are in this word? Okay, I just say a cartoon, getting flawed back and forth. Yeah, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. She picked a bell, like a pooh. So she's like, it was so embarrassing

because everyone was like, ooh, and I was standing there to support Jack, Jack. Remember, I came home and I was crying and... And Jackson's like, I'm over there! There's no more stars than anything, and from what you told me, it's been very calculated. Jackson's new word. Yeah, calculated.

It's usually one syllable, so I'm very proud of him for using a three syllable, four syllable word. How can you say it, Ted? Hypocrat party, vote for it to November. Four syllables over and over. Yeah, so Jack's been texting James apparently, and he's been texting things like, you haven't seen anything yet, son.

You're done. This old man's gonna come after you like a fucking train. Come meet me now. Let's fight like real men. Slash trains. This is gonna be a train fight. I'm Thomas the train. And you're a different train who's unnamed.

And we're gonna fight. I'm working a fight. Choo, choo. Choo, choo, choo, choo. Choo, choo, choo. So he writes, come meet me now. Let's fight like men. I was like, what is this pride and prejudice? Like, meet me by the lake.

And we shall prove whose honor is worthy of the calculated. And we shall be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the ones who will be the Let's fight like men. I was like, what is this pride and prejudice? Like, Me, by the lake, can we shall prove whose owner is worthy of the calculated? Mr. Jackson. So, um, Mr. Jackson. So, yeah, so he's been like, hate-taxing James, which is nothing new, you know?

Yeah, you know. So, back at the bar at times, like, have there been any texts or anything? And James is like, not today, but to threaten something physical, and that's ridiculous, Jackson Boy. That's physical threats, Jackson. James was like a high degree of bubble this episode.

He was totally like... A high degree of bobble this episode. He was a bully. He was a bullshitting. He was like, felt like he was on top of a very tall stack of books or something. It's like he's writing, recal to work. So anyway, add on the street, Rolls Royce arrives. Like a coop Rolls Royce, get it.

And we just hear Lisa Vanderpump go, I've got to get back up on the horse. There's only one side. It's time to get back on the saddle. There's also the saddle, and he's been off of it. It's time to get back. I, so I'm gonna get back there. I get knocked down, I get back up again. Ain't's never going to bring me down.

Guys, right, get up, get knocked down. Get right back up again, board the horse face, darling. This Christim here today. space, darling. This Kristen here today. Seriously, seriously, seriously. Okay, before we even introduce Kristen, have you guys seen the commercial that Kristen tweeted for Arena TV, which is like the TV in, I don't know, Mexico somewhere? Australia.

It's like the Bravo that's not America. Australia. Australia. Mexico, Australia. Yeah. It's one of those two that's not America. Australia. Australia. Mexico, Australia. Yeah. It's one of those two. Sorry, that was Australia's. So, see, treated the free review for Prompt Rules, and it is so good, and it got me really excited for Prompt Rules, because I love Twitchy Christian. I just love it. Yeah. It's one of my, it's like when you go to the older laundromat instead of the newer one, because the newer one's like so sleek and put together, and the other one smells kind of like pee and the

machine shake and you can kind of sit on them and be like, yeah. It's like my enjoyment with Kristen. Okay, so there's a, a tower of. The pyramid. Yeah, the pyramid. A champagne glass is stacked, and then it's Kristen doing this I didn't watch it with sound until the day because I wanted to show Ben so you know what I was talking about But this is this is what it was she's like If she's giving this sexy look to the camera like yeah, but it's like she look like a

Like a flag clapping the wind God I'm so glad she's back, you know, I've talked a lot of shit. Well about everyone really, but yeah, especially Kristen And god, man, we almost cried like I made a seal magnolia's video when the news came out that he was demoted. Who started out with a seal magnolia's? Probably redore online that trassy french rag. Kristen is a national treasure and must be treated as such. But like not like a national treasure like the Grand Canyon, sort of like, you know, like the San Andres fault, you know. It's like you go and you take a picture of it, but you don't really like it. Yeah.

It's like the Rio Grande. That's what we had where I grew up. And everyone's like, yeah, the Rio Grande. Don't touch the water. Yeah. Like that. So Lisa walks into the restaurant and Lala's there. And Lisa does the most Lisa thing ever

She just looks at Lala and goes Lisa also has new teeth to premiere of her new teeth You know I'm blind to teeth. How did you not see those teeth? I don't see in your teeth. Was I the only one who saw that? No, I've been reading a lot about it online. I mean, you bitches. I'm telling you, people us bitches, everybody who watches Bravo, we jump on the craziest shit like,

her new teeth fucking! Like, we're furious. America's furious, at least a matter of times T. I was like, this is what brings her down finally. They've turned on her because of her T. It's true. It's not right. So, you know, they have like a very sad moment

because Lala's father passed away and Lisa's brother passed away. So there's like a sad moment and then Lala's like, you know, it's just so sad, you know, like, you've had a loss, I've had a loss, jacks had a loss, they discontinued Roman lettuce, so Katie can't even use ranch anymore. It's a lot of losses. Darling, what we all have in common is knowing that I'm still the richest one here. Now Lala, give me yourala, give me your wrist.

Give me your wrist. Dead people saw the derit. He'd never touched me again. Can't do a job. Do a job. Do a job. Eh. And now for me, a personal highlight of the episode was

Sheena... Working at a table. Where's the... I'm gonna put on this towel, because I feel like this is more appropriate for sheen. Okay. Ben is putting on a towel, I feel like this is more appropriate for sheen. Ben is putting on a towel, doing this MPR style for people listening at home. This is her season 7 hair.

Hi. Can I take your order please? Well I've seen now you look like the Mary All right our specials tonight are Chilean sea bass and twice cooked roast beef Chalayan, Chilean sea bass, don't fighting for that And what would you like handsome? Go to spas, bats, please.

Go to spas, that's what I want. She's like, oh, really? Handsome. The guy got his bats. He's like, yeah, I saw a beautiful one. She's like, bang! Wait, so I have the same hair vibe going on. I am.

It took Rob less than seven minutes for to do my perm. Oh, my God. And the guy's like, I got thing on him on badge. And she's like, huh? What the pin-pong? Jimmy H. Jimmy H. Jimmy H. I'm a thang! I was like, that's the ping pong? Chee-pie, hey, chee-pie, hey, chee-pie, hey, chee-pie, hey, I'm like, ah! I was like, that's what everyone finds romantic.

A slutty waitress. Like, kind of come on, is that? No offense to any of you slutty waitresses here. Makes you feel any better, I'm a slut waitress from the 90s. Like, I'm literally seeing so many people, like, there's three people at that table, there's two people at that table, there's five people at that table, there's like so many people like there's three people at that table there's two people at that table there's five people at that table there's like so

many people here like oh my god sometimes I just look out and like what the fuck are you people doing? so she knows mom she knows first monologue of the season perfect she's like rock rock up with me on August 31, 2017. The temperature was 73 degrees Fahrenheit, 28 degrees Celsius. He called me on ice, and we need a talk. I then put up another one. Then I'm putting on on whole couple of hours

cause I was fantasy football team, so they, I don't, we gotta talk and I just didn't make the cut. And that's that. I'm like literally imagining she no standing at his door like this for two hours. Why is he doing fantasy draft? Like just not getting. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

I'm here. He's like, there's like, could it be a piece of paper that's put about time with like the list of who he's dating? Oh, not this year. I must pay his fantasy football packs. This is like a list of girls with a schedule. So then we cut back to her flirting with this gay guy in the audience and in the crowd. and she's like,

I'm not in love with drinks! How about you get some drinks? So then Jacks drives up an vintage Mustang. A new one. A new vintage Mustang. A new vintage Mustang. You know, I have this whole thing with muscle cars, you know.

I just want to say, I just proved, I mean confirmed, you know, you know, I'm saying my theory I hate muscle cars that's all it is I'm the fact that the fact that Jack strives in muscle cars is so perfect for my my theory It's just you know look I look at super poor people like like me like my friends, you know It's like you make five dollars you spend $20 You know it's like I have my credit rating two dollars and then you buy a house like no you didn't you know did we learn nothing and 2012 that was it right You guys make it in political did you like it? It was really a steering

Yeah, he's in this new this new shit car that's ruining the earth. You see that's how Jackson is. Some of you drive these big ass trucks. I look around Nashville. I see what you people are doing. But I also noticed that like in Texas, you've got shit in the back of that truck. You're stopping at Home Depot.

You're getting some workers, some wood. Yeah. Dropping your kids off at school. You're using that shit, okay? It's like a real pickup truck commercial. Jack's is not. He is just killing the earth for fun. Yeah.

I'm so mad about Jack's. You guys like it. I don't even know. Yeah. I thought you should be mad. We all have to stay mad at Jack's because they're going to try to make us think that Jack's a good guy. And we have to remember the truth, okay?

We are Jackson's truthers, okay? And Britney, the car's like, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- She won't be sitting something to me, and Bruce aren't laughing at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She basically is like a dog in the way you learn dogs, like a long to things. When he starts up the car, I say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah wanted to punch someone. Oh, so bad. She's like, I'm gonna go hit him, Jack. Of course, he asked Gordon to come inside where he's supposedly gonna hit somebody, hit James or whatever.

And no one is more excited than Shino, because for some reason we keep cutting back to her. And at first, she's just like, I'm just gonna get these out of your way, thank you very much. And then she looks up you like ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, because he, you know, Peter actually works there for any of those who are sure. Because Peter looks like the one who doesn't work there. Every time they show Peter, he's like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm,

like wake up. He's like, what is Jack's doing here? And he's like, oh, didn't you hear? In the freight, in the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer, oh, didn't you hear? In the traitor Joe's fearless flyer, what does everybody have to hear that someone was mean to you one time? Yeah. And by the way, the thing that bothers me the most about this

is that even though James has a stupid line and is stupid rap at a stupid night that no one takes seriously, she's more mad at that. Then the fact that Jack's actually did the thing that James talked about. Yeah. Something about being in the South in terms of in Dixacada.

And that is when the lots went out in Georgia. So Jack storms through the restaurant like there's a cell on Coke in the front. And James is like, James actually does like, which I mean, wouldn't we all, you know. He's like, Jeff doesn't go on sale here.

Wicked, wicked. He's like, That is Black Friday. What do you mean, you don't have a sale? Cyber Monday then. Cyber Monday. We're talking about Coca-Cola, of course. So James is all boggled out like, ooh, and then in the middle of it,

just to show that it's a real restaurant, where things are happening. Lisa Vanderpump suddenly goes, Joe, I need my fish. I need my fish. And there's just like a random shot of her chasing fish in the middle of like a fight. I didn't know what she said.

Is that what she said I need my fish? I thought she said I need my daily fish. Oh, I wrote down Lisa. Joe, I need my salarly pits. Like, why was daily lists? What is a salarly pit? I did my salarly pits for Lala. So, Jack's comes like storming up to the pizza machine that James works in front of her, whatever,

like the brick pizza. And he's like, hey, can I talk to you right now, after me? Heee, heee, heee, heee, heee, you're gonna yell at my girlfriend? You're gonna say those, you're gonna yell at my girlfriend? Only I get to do that. Yeah. And James is like, I can't.

I'm working. So James is like, but I apologize the very next day. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working.

I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working.

I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I was like, that's horrible! That's right. You were no longer invited to Jackson, Brittany's bobbin for Apple's Jamberry. You're not allowed to the annual session

where Brick's props in my back sits with her nose and hostels. You're not invited to popcorn and pinwheels where we put popcorn and pinwheels and blow them out and watch Britney's face smile The midget tossing not invited not invited So James is like that's horrible because what Jackson's doing look first off my first reaction was fuck you people with weddings Okay, I don't want to go to every event in your life and buy you 13,000 gifts to cost $50 minimum. Especially when you're obviously going to divorce.

Yeah, stop acting like you're doing me a favor by supplying your baby with a bed. Like, what am I, the wise man? Also, and James did actually call this out to his credit, but like, Jack's Taylor, the king of, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry, how many of I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me I'm sorry how many times I'm sorry I said I'm sorry for him to come up and be like no apologies don't work I'm like excuse me sir the only

reason why you're still here on this show is because of your apologies yes no one has accepted yes so now what someone just yelled at up here greenwood is that you greenwood does he green. Does that see Greenwood? Okay. What's so many other, here is the correct answer. Tota Token. It's not about the wedding. James ain't gonna buy you a ship for your wedding anyway. It's because it's filming.

This whole season is Jackson Britney's filming season. Yeah, that's what it's called. It's their whole season. It's like Katie with their fucking walking over the twigs and the goddamn campground. Where everybody out there is like, they give a fuck about Katie for a season. Now that's Jackson Britney's free wedding,

and so they're like, you're not gonna be able to shoot, and I'll bet it works. Sorry, James. Well, the best part is... Well, the best part is... I love the way that Jackson conveyed his sense of betrayal about all this. He's like, you know what? Like, I went out of my way, and I gave you something, okay?

I was like, two weeks ago, this is, then James was like, you know what? Two weeks ago, Jacks literally bought me a pair of limited edition supreme underwear, okay? And that was really nice. And then we're going to clip of it. Oh my God. So James is in his house and he's wearing these little boxer braids, and he's like, epic, epic, epic. Hey.

I mean, hey, it was such a nice gesture. Thank you, Jacks Boy. Coach, I don't know about you. This is good. I just perv out in the show. Okay, so Jackson's like, yeah, apologies, don't work. And he's like, what, what, you can't apologize to the whole world every day

and the arc can't? And he's like, it's my wedding season. Yeah. So James is like, have you ever done something without thinking twice? I'm talking about faith, right? Yeah, we already talked about faith. You've already talked about faith. Do something once you move on.

He's like, no, what you did was calculated. You know what calculated means? You know what calculated? Yeah, it's not a big word. Even all I know what that means. So I love the Jackson. It's like, you made Brittany cry in front of everyone. I was like, that was like season six and five and half

or four actually. Yeah. So yeah, he's like, here's what you did. And it's like this deep dive investigation on TV. He's like, you got the mic. And then you did this. And then you did this to Brittany. It was calculated.

Thanks, Jackson. Thanks for the reenactment and he storms off The whole thing actually to be honest. No thing felt a little extra to me Right, I'm like I want authenticity So yeah, Jack's is like co-craging all over the restaurant having a fair, you know So yeah, Jackson's like coke raging all over the restaurant having a fair, you know And then James is like have I made some mistakes? Yes, Jackson. Like how many mistakes do you have to make? Valorally Okay, so now Lisa I wrote like 10 pages of notes on that scene really it was an exciting scene so Lisa now

Walks up to Tom Sandevol like this whole thing, Jack says left, she walks up, and he's like Lisa. And she's like, what just happened? You know, because they saw that Brittany was like, they saw the screening and Brittany was all this stuff, whatever. And so they're telling Lisa about how James had said these awful things. Oh wow, just in time. Oh, wow. Thank you.

And I'm starting to sound inconsiderate or not grateful, but can I have a straw like a real one, like one of those big, thick turtle killers? Yes. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you, Michael. Rawr.

So you ask, you like to... So what has happened here? What is the juice? What is the beef? Michael Rar. So you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, ask, you ask, you ask, ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, you ask, ask, last week he was freestyle and I was freestyle. I was saying nice things. I swear, Lisa. I swear. It's my art, Lisa. Are you going to get Maddie Chef Joe for slopping pea soup on the side of the boat?

Fuck no, it is art, Lisa. I was freestyle incredibly, and I must have said something offensive. Oh, we do boom. Are you going to get mad at, are you going to get mad at Britney when she slams herself in the head trying to answer salt-shakers when the phone rings? No, it's a hot, it's a hot Lisa. So Lisa's like, why would you do that? And Lisa tells us, she goes, I mean, we can all rap.

We can all take the piss out of you. All of us could do that. For instance, let me rap right now. Give me a beat, MCDJ. Your little shit gave you a pass. But now Mr. Taylor's going to kick your ass. I like rosé and I like things pink. And right now, I'm going to have my severed drink.

I like paint and I like peanuts. What I don't like is a lazy sheenuts. Get your work on the day! Get some more big sheener! Alright. Having a restaurant's not for the queasy. It doesn't come hard, but it doesn't come easy. I like a look that's a little bit retro. Better call Nick Elaine.

Here's the maestro! Wow! That was just flying behind on a pencil and behind the thing. Missing Elliott almost choked the screen by the way when Lisa was like, anyone can spit a little rhyme. I was like, oh can they? That was a scene from the upcoming movie, Eight Kilometer. I know one of you's from Detroit, so. So Lisa's like, when you said that rude rhyme,

were you drinking, Thomas'? And he was like, no, I know I wasn't drinking, because I've remembered the entire Romley set. Like the only kind of drinking on Vanderpump rules is blackout drunk. Yeah, you know, that's the only time it counts. Also, I think we have to talk about Lisa's rap voice because she goes from talking to this, like this too.

Now when I'm a rapist, and I talk like this, I'm like, I don't understand. Considering I just put a gallon of spit down a microphone trying to beatbox, I'm gonna be okay with it. Yeah. That was also the best free flow that I've ever done in my life together.

Hahaha. Lowetry. I'm gonna be so happy. Lowetry, flowetry. Thank you. My puppy lizard daddy. So, I'll be a little tired. If you murder people,

at the same place, every week, don't invite your friends there. They're at the same place every week. Don't know if I your friends there. They're at the Belmont Lounge. Do you know what has happened at the Belmont Lounge? That's where Tom thought some random was Katie and started making fun of her and begging her to watch the tattoo off her wrist. You know what? Just keep going back to the Belmont Lounge. Horror up some new place. Well, I was I was very happy because to me, so the next scene takes place to the Belmont Lounge. Horde up some new place. Well, I was very happy because to me, so the next scene takes place at the Belmont in Los Angeles.

And we see Stasi and Bo and Tom Schwartz. They're sitting in like a booth. And so for me, that booth was laid in with a lot of personal history that was so appropriate for the scene because the last time I sat at that booth, my friend Melanie puked in the box at the table. But that is a true story. It's like that is so perfect.

Miller. Then you made that with her and you later realized that it was Katie. And then I turned gay. Full circle. So, shorts is there. Really looking less employed than ever. Yeah. To say, is it me or his shorts is sick getting like really old? You know why it seems like that because you're 40 now.

Yeah. Oh, perspective. That's when it all turns. When you're like, oh my God, strippers are so hot, I put a dollar in a corn hole too. What am I doing with my life? And what are you doing with yours? Because like just like it like jumping out a little bit but he starts talking about how his new thing is that instead of doing shots he does half shots because like oh Bob all you could do three shots I'm being hung over or you could do six half shots, no, six. No, six.

That's half. Oh, no, six and a half. I'm like, if you do six and a half shot. You are 47 years old. You have to be able to know how to do six with your fingers. If you get half, you get double the camaraderie with half the shots. Wow.

That is like common core right there. That's what common core is to an old person. Where somebody tries to explain common core, they're like, you do it by just, you know, talking about how the math could be. And I'm like, I don't think that's how math works. Common core, yeah. What the hell's happening up here?

Oh, these girls are going to get his nosh shot. They're all getting nosh. Okay, all right, they're talking their glasses. No, they're all getting this. Okay, all right, let's talk about their glasses. No, they're glasses. Honestly, take a shot break, because guess what we have to do? Kindness, duck break. So, these life says, my niece, Kate, it makes us these little ducks.

And on the bottom, they say, you're kind, pass it on. And she gave me like a whole hefty bag full of these fucking backs. So, I just started bringing him to the live show So if you're hitting the head with something rubber Throughout the set Plankade it try not to break any glass Rane I love you All right shots bitches. Let's do it to fire eyes rates and fades

I'm so into this table. Drink them down, darling. I love you. Table 24, the win. 20. Do it. Table 20 is losing their shit. Susie Tota tobe is falling over in her chair. She is. Susie, don't you know, babe. She's like a home. Okay, like, oh, over. Okay, that was a commercial break. I hope you all buy your super soakers.

All right. Okay, next up. Oh, don't forget to buy your crap and it's my netic poetry. Okay, get it in there. Get it in there. Okay, I got it. So where's the Belmont Lounge? Belmont Lounge? And Schwartz is there still looking unemployed even though he's just gifted a restaurant for five dollars and Stasi and we finally get to meet bow. What are your first impressions? You guys like bow?

Yeah, I think both seems like a good guy because I've been loving bow on the Instagram Obviously like you so cute and funny that I know it's gonna fucking kill somebody one day You know, he's like one of he's like too cute to be true. And I feel like I'm hoping that he's not pinching Stasi under the table too hard at dinner. And she's like, everything is great, everything is great. I get worried when someone's like this normal and funny and like, he has a job, right?

Yeah, he does something. I don't know what, what does he do? Oh, he's a casting director. I'm really liking it. He does something. I don't know what, what does he do? Oh, he's a casting director. That would be really nice. Listen, I mean, it was a little weird for me to see her with someone who didn't have a man bun and wasn't totally awful, but I say, I say, I'm happy for her. And you know what, she, I was sort of funny watching her cry

over him because she was so happy. It was actually like, it was maybe uncomfortable. It was beautiful and that's not why I watch this shit. Yeah, I was like shouldn't you be threatening to chop off his balls? I was like how many people are not being emotionally abused this season. I don't know if I can get on board with this. I thought he's so cute but he's kind of like a grown up male version of Laura Ingalls from House on the Prairie. I know that's random but watch his face next time, and you'll never unsee it.

Now I'm like, I want to make out with Laura Ingalls from the 80s. Like, it's weird. You guys, I'm in it. Now that I'm 40, I have to confess something. I've never seen Little House on the Prairie. I'm sorry, everyone. I know you guys came here to be entertained,

but I had to lay that truth bomb on you. Yeah, I know. I'm so everyone, I know you guys came here to be entertained, but I had to lay that truth bomb on you. Yeah, I know, I'm so sorry everyone. Okay, now front row Simma. All right, you had your shots. Simma down. Simma down. Okay, so Stasi is crying and the producer is like, is something coming out of you? Like, what is wrong?

She's like, what's happening to you? Is that sweat from the baby you just ate? She's like, no, I don't do that anymore. It's like, um, did I come from the three rabbit bats you turned into a milkshake? No, no, no. She's like, no, I'm legitimately happy. And they're like seeing fired.

All right. Casting bokeh in here, Sunday recast. OK. So Jack's joins them at the Belmont, and they're all still there talking. They're just like talking about James, and like, oh, can you believe that James had one stupid thing? When we've all said a million stupid things,

can you believe it? Can you believe it? You know? And yeah, Jack's like, well, I had a combo with him. And I said, he's only violent. And stuff's like, you can't do that to white corn, yeah. So then we cut back to James rapping, you know. Yeah, he's just like there, just like rhyme.

Just like, I have a can. I am a man. I know someone named Stan. I do enjoy Flan. And they're like, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. And that was really expecting a new whore, a new like whore rap,

because they said, Lisa and Ken, getting up from table 12. What is the table that they're always used driving on? We can't hear whispers. What is it? Two or seven,

two or eight, two or seven. It's always the same table that they they hear people from and they just so them they're like Let's just let's just go see the I don't know if I lose somebody in trouble right so Lisa goes and she finds Brittany and she's like oh My sweet little broken bed like oh my sweet little broken bed I've brought some special goof off for my little broken bed hand me your wing that's the ring would be on my little tingling James is like I'm so rap Lisa so Brittany comes up and she does her usual I wanted to say darling I'm so sorry for James's behavior I pushed him out of the mess so many times and he's almost flown

But right at the last minute, he breaks owing, which means I bring him back, bring him back. Who Lisa? I was so embarrassed I was there. I was cheering him on because when he around man with ran and can and flan, I was like, this is genius. And then he was like race and faith and I was like,

Jo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I started to cry. He did it right there from everyone and I cried on everything. And Lisa's like, I don't know what you're talking about, but you've just been awarded two free Gucci's balls. Ha, ha, ha Ha ha ha ha. Now Brittany, give me your wrist.

Give me your wrist. Yes, Lisa. All right, there you go. Not gonna wake it away. Go, go, go. So back at the Belmont, Jack's announces the, at the moment we've all been dreading, we knew it was gonna happen at some point

You know it says he's gonna propose to Brittany the next day And everyone has to pretend to be happy everyone's like great. That's amazing You know it's real when your boyfriend waits till the first day of shooting Yeah, so you can ask tag ad everything Hasack ad so the fact that you're telling us now means that production signed off on this And that's what the season is gonna be about you're be good the season we have to go along with it I got high are great great congratulations. He got down on two knees on the squatty party hashtag ad Table 11 Table 11. Table 11.

Oh, ho. And they said it's her favorite. It's your biggest fan. It's a vintage fan. I've been to the biggest fan. For my biggest fan. Thank you, Table 11, for the very shanning be door. Oh.

That's very shanning be door. Brad Michaels. Oh, it's for you. Oh, it's for me. All right, that makes more sense, actually. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, this is washed vintage, right? Thank you, darling.

That was wonderful. Alright, so, Jackson's proposing on a Monday. I mean, way to add to the Monday Uggs, Jackson. Yeah. I actually really enjoyed Stasi's reaction to this wonderful news. She's like, oh, M.G. I'm hanging out with Brinita Marta dog park. I could throw up. So, Jackson's like, I want to tell people so bad, but no one in the world knows that Stasi bow the hot dog.

Oh, god. Hot down. Then do the. Oh God. Jackson's trying so hard. Okay, so let's fast forward to the piercing pagoda. Okay, this piercing guy, you know, this is why gay people got rights. Queens like this, who were like. Yeah. You know, they don't have to say like, I'm gay every five seconds of the day, they just like embrace you with it.

Yeah. By being like just a hateful, hilarious gay. He was so, so funny. He's like, do you guys hear for piercings? And Mama goes, must you just start with a gin as? And he goes, that's the only thing I don't touch. Yeah.

So my favorite part about this was that like, so we see Lala and Katie. I was like, I'm Lala. I'm like, I'm Katie. And then all of a sudden, we just see this. I'm Kristen. She just slithers up like a cobra in a basket. What was Kristen doing down there?

It's her dramatic reveal. It's a dramatic reveal. Kristen's mental image of herself is just so different than how it comes off. It's like champagne tower. She's also dressed like she works at Foot Locker. Yeah, she's in a full foot locker. But in her mind, she was like sexy hamburger, you know? She got the stripes.

They're going the wrong direction. So I know that all of you really need to know how Lala is doing with her. Man. Well, then we also, by the way, for some reason, we cut away to like shots at the surkitchen because we see like, I think that says biohazard and we see some needles and some gauze. I think it's the jacks proposal episode. Yeah. Just kidding.

We were still at the piercing place. Get it, get it. So the guy gets ready to pierce Katie and he's like, that's just going to hurt you more than it hurts me. And I'm like, he's like, he's like, he's so he puts a huge nail through her ear and she's like, that's nothing. I've been married to Tom for, I'm basically 413 days. He's like, man, this is the first time I've ever had this happen,

but actually ranch dressing came out of your ear just now. Do you want to see a medical professional? He's like, hold on and let me get a carrot to stop this act. He actually appears to be with a carrot. Oh my God, please let me have a heart attack at his show. I had a heart like, boom! Oh my God, let me die this so. That at a show. I had a heart like boom, and I was like, oh my God, let me die to show. That would be, that is the way to set me out.

It's all happening. Right after we talk about ranch bleeding out of Katie's ears. Oh my God. That is how to take me, Lord, if I can put in a request. Oh my God. So Katie's like, does that rondel know you're doing this piercing thing? Like, what is he say about it?

And Mama's like, you know what? I feel like he likes me. I feel like he really likes me because I don't give a fuck. I'm like, you're also like 10 years old and have adorable boobs, and we'll do whatever he says. Yeah, so Lala officially outs Randall on the show. She's like, me and Neneyer doing it really well and I can go public as Nene and Randall.

And then, that's just not an exciting name to unveil. Like, two years Randall. Two years into it, you know his name is Rand Oh And Christian was like so how see next Tuesday My was a whistle out I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

it was just painful as it sounds. Like last year James really betrayed my trust and I was like, how could you steep so low? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Okay, so now we get the story. Um, and thank God for Instagram. It really is a good supplemental, just this show especially because I was like, yeah, gonna have to get it.

It's not all pooped T-ans. Love you, T-me. You used good crap ins. Oh yeah. You get so much bonus content just looking at Instagram. So she tells the story where she's like, when Rand grows. He's not a corporation. Yeah.

Maybe doll. Yeah. Go with that doll. It's not Rand. Hey, doll. I'd be the more offended when he was on flipping out and he kept calling her a law. I'm like, just say the other law.

Say both laws. Lala. It actually made me like that couple. Did you guys watch them on flipping out? I love that Lala was like, I'm thin and 20 and you're disgusting. And we are getting this velvet motherfucking couch and whatever color you're disgusting. Yeah. And we are getting this velvet motherfucking couch

and whatever color grout I want, stupid. And he's like, okay. Okay. It was pretty good. Oh my God, guys. It was pretty good. Yes, that is Lala living in her power right there. Okay, so she tells the story.

She's like, when Dahl and I were at Coachella, he said James came up to us and he goes, he, come on I were at Coachella, he said, uh... James. James came up to us and he goes, come on, we all know each other inside and out if you know what I mean. I wanted to vomit. Because I didn't know what he meant. And I hated the implication that I did.

You fuck James and Randall, and now you wanna vomit? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. That is called delayed. Mother mother fucking reaction right there. So that Lala gets her piercing and she's like, what the hell? You guys seriously stop with this. So many drinks in front of me.

Okay, Terry, I can't, I can't with this bandana on your head. I can't. Did I do it wrong? I mean, I don't have a bandana on your head. I can't. Did I do it wrong? I mean, it's gorgeous. No help. Did I do it wrong? No, help. No.

Did I do it incorrectly? No. It's better now. This is a little shmata. It really does feel good. So anyway, so Lala gets herself pierced now and she's like, I'm not gonna lie, that hurt like a mother fucker I think that pierced her goes, it only hurts if you're a bad person Which point Kristen was already like

Sympathy hurt Kristen's like, that is not okay, that is not okay Also, I want you to try these sneakers. So, Lala's like, you know what? You know what I've realized? For James to treat everyone like they're fucking disposable is not fucking okay. And Katie gets on her like,

Alyssa Milano shirt and she goes times up on James Which is an interesting I'm just like waiting for the parade to pass. I'm like Way to misuse an entire movement for your personal game, bitch. Okay, Jackson's like me too, me too, right? I'm like, no, still don't have a Jack still didn't get a right. No, Jackson's the original, Jackson's the originator of Hashtag Me 3. More of the Marriott, am I right, everyone? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she's like, times up, I've never heard that before. What an interesting turn of freeze! We should make that go viral! So Katie's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, Kristen goes, oh, uh, oh no, Katie. Who says, they think I'm so scary. Katie or Kristen? Katie does, right? She's like, they think I'm scary. Now we have this whole force. I'm just like kidding. You don't even understand what you're talking about. I actually, I do think she's terrifying, because I think anyone who's scary who thinks

that stupid piece of love artwork should still be on the wall. Terrifying. That's a woman still trying to spread charcoal. Grey on art all over the world. Stop her. So, yeah, just now. People don't think you're scary. They think you're a dick. circle gray on art all over the world stop it So yeah, people don't think you're scary. They think you're a dick And Chris and me while saps up and she's like I'm the mother fucking karma police be where James Kennedy

It's coming. It's coming She's like digging around and like I can't you store it stores like no, it's karma not caramel Oh, what's the caramel police? So then we get some tricks in monocle and she's like this is our town This is our town. That's not ever gonna change. It's our town I was like wow you tell them tricks. See you tell them. It's a very alley specific. It's like yes, I lay All right Paul. This is what I want you. I want to do a song about my town. It's our town Paul. Okay. It's not for them It's for me and us Paul. Let's hit it our town

And I was like how about about all worlds, all worlds? You know, it bridges the gap. Get other people involved. It's like, no, it's all town. It's all town. So we got a Villa Blanca. And people who work here are like, what did we invite? I know, bless your heart.

City winery. Bless your heart. Bless your hearts. Bless your hearts. OK, so now it's a, now it's very special to throw back where it will belong. Oh, it will belong. No.

Haven't cleaned the white walls since 1994. So can't at least become dottering in there and can't is wearing like his typical white shirt, a dog honest fist. Yeah, because you know those puppets. You know those is puppets. dog honest fist. Yeah, because you know those puppets. You know those puppets. Dog honest fist, a white shirt with like one zebra print here on his shoulder, and then like a striped zebra print

over here. And he's like, oh man, I'd like to have some rosé, please. And the waiter's like, uh, do you also want some water, sparkling or flattin' his? Rosé is a water. King of cantoza! King of cantoza! King of cangasum, he's like... It's just the tuba section.

Everyone's just like waiting the next joke. Can't get through it! Everyone's just like waiting next Joe I'll tell you what's over regular water No, the way it's like no, Kinga's how are you holding up me a phase? Are you holding up? Did you get back on the horse? Did you get back on the horse face? And she's like It was difficult Ken, but now I'm feeling a little bit of closure since I blocked Lisa Rina from my Twitter What a hoarse Did you actually do that? Oh, I'm sure I Sorry on the two and they were like, did you quit Beverly Hills?

And she's like, ah! So. So deeply. So, and by the way, I don't know if anyone saw those Lisa Rina tweets this week, like yesterday,

but they were, so, the Lisa Rina tweets, they were so hilarious, they're shady. Someone asked, I guess someone the Lisa Rina Tweet, they were so hilarious. The shady. Someone asked, I guess someone asked Lisa Rina where Lisa Vanderpump has been on Beverly Hills. She goes, she's on Vanderpump Rules. It's funny.

Okay. I wish that Vanderpump Rules Lisa showed up to Beverly Hills Lisa, because those bitches would have no hope in the world for surviving. I don't know who this old daughtering woman is, who comes into the real housewives of Beverly Hills. He was like, oh! Can you believe the classware that they, I'm agreeing with Dorit to this one.

He's like, got herpes on her fingers from doing this to too many waitresses, you know. I think, yeah. Bring her back. Girl. So Tom and Tom show up at the LeBlanc. I'm like, hi Lisa. So they sit down and Lisa's like, I need to see a cocktailist. It's been so long. I need to see one.

Yeah. Tom Tandoval is like a full Tom Tandoval. I was like, oh well, actually we're like working a lot of really cool things. Like, like we get together and we work on cocktails for like hours and hours and hours. So many cocktails, so many hours spent cocktail in, well cocktail and then we cut to Tom's house. And Tom number two is like, try this carrot juice. Wow.

Fuck you. Wow. So carrot juice shot. He's like all excited, which is like classic Tom Tandoval, which is so cute. He's like, yeah, we've been talking with like an artist and all glass maker and he's going to make us a special shot glass and actually he's electronic and has light bulbs in it. And then like, you're, you're a poor shot in it, but then you give it away. You think, oh, it's like amazing dude.

We want, like, okay, when you go to the bathroom at TomTom, you're gonna, like, sit down. You know, you kind of spread your cheeks a little. Well, when you take the toilet paper, you're gonna put it on you, and it's gonna have a TT. And so later that night, after you get laid, you're gonna have your artisanal start glass, and someone's gonna open you up, and it's gonna say TT.

That's it! Take it home! Take it home! We're thinking, like, when our chairs, there's gonna be, instead of four it! Take it home! Take it home! We're thinking like when there are chairs, there's gonna be, instead of four legs, there'll be five legs, Lisa. And the last leg is actually made of ice. So when you need more ice and your drink, you break off a part of your leg and you put it in there.

It's amazing, and I'll be shapes of diamonds. Yeah, like, people wanna go to the bar, but instead of having a bar, we're gonna spell it backwards. That's gonna be rad. Then you're gonna order like a shot of fireball, but we're gonna give you the bar, but instead of having a bar, we're gonna spill it backwards. That's gonna be rad. Then you're gonna order a shot of fireball, but we're gonna give you a shot of broccoli rad. We actually are not gonna have a fireball on tap. We're really gonna have just balls of fire.

We're gonna take gochis balls, stick them in a carousine, light them on fire, and put them on people's plates, and then slam their face into them, take the face mold, put under a machine, fill that with water, freeze that, and then serve them their own face that was just smashed into a goat cheese ball. Hold on, hold on. Mm-mm. Oh, hold on, it's going down. I just going down. It's going down.

I don't know. No. That is an illegal drug. Are you going to have little fingernail clippings of witches in there? Like no. Well, guess what? I've put Pandora in charge of cocktails, and she's wearing a special capelet for the occasion.

I know. Poor Pandora. You know what? Pandora has never done anything wrong to this world. What has she ever done except be born to somebody in work hard? They torture her on this show. Now they're making her the enemy of all these people for no reason. She's like, Pandora and I decided we needed a little list.

Pandora's list will be coming. Pandora's list will be coming. Pandora's list. It's where we save drinks from being taken by horrible, horrible, horrible loans. So now we go to Brittany and Stasi going to a dog park. Where they're walking dogs and Stasi's trying not to reveal that jacks is gonna be popping the question to Brittany later that day or this is where Trixie Monaco tries to say fuck you to be on say because here's this song this song is goes Girls we rule the wet

Girls We rule the wet Girls, we rule the world. Uh-uh. It's like hearing past the Dutch by all the all-white ladies in church. It's like, what? This is not your cover, Trixi. If you like that you should have put a ceremonial piece

of jewelry on it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. If you liked it, then you should have asked it to marry you before you put your penis in it. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Stassy has a dog named refund, which is like the best thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. So Brittany is talking about Jacks and Brittany once again is talking about like, I'm so excited about all the changes Jacks is making. Now he poops with the door mostly closed. And Brittany is doing that thing. You know, she's trying to keep us secret, but it's like wacky hygiene store. She's like, I can't say anything.

You know, she's like really playing it up. But it's just sending Brittany into that like lifetime heroin tailspin, where she's like, but he's changed. He has changed. And this stuff, he's like, I got a yacht. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, but he's totally definitely made me turkeys.

Oh, turkey sandwich. Oh. It's the mark of any big personal change is that moment when you start making turkey sandwiches. I did this for myself. I deserve this. It's like sending Britney down this horrible tailspin, you know. So then we go over to Kyle Chan. Kyle Chan.

The world's neediest Jared. If you got rings that are worth $150,000, $1,000, don't show them in your apartment in Koreatown, sir. OK? You get a storefront for that Kyle. I love how angry everyone is about Kyle Chan's apartment. It's just that it's such a lie. These guys get to fuck around on the girlfriends

and bear some on national television and then act like they're spending money on a God damn ring instead of a hashtag ad in Kyle Chan's studio apartment. It's bullshit. You got some so mad. I love feeling this. It's good. Let it out, Ronnie. Let it out. I did.

I think you'd probably feel better instead of Kyle Chan. It was Carol Channing. Now that's the bitch I want to see Rob you out of your ring money. I've got the perfect ring for you. Hello, Dolly. So, um, so, Jack's like, so guys, I'm gonna spam your proposed tomorrow and say, and I'm like, awww. He's just frozen in time.

He like, he got like, sw switched into out of this world or something. Like the girl went like this. And he's like, ah. And Jack says like, it's time guys. It's time to trade a cook bottle for my girlfriend's wedding ring and some guy's studio apartment. He's like, Jack says like, I wasn't sure when I should be proposing to Brittany, but then everyone kept saying, time's up to me. So I thought, okay, I guess, time's up, time to get proposed.

Proposed, time to get proposed. So then Tom, who's like the heart woman of the friend group, he's like, whoa, this isn't awkward at all, bro. The jacks is acting, brickety to marry him, and I've known Ariana longer. So Kyle Chan goes out to get the ring, and Jack's like, no guys, I'm just an area I don't longer. So Kyle Chan goes out to get the ring and Jack's like no guys I'm just gonna warn you this ring. It's a little bigger than usual I'm like the usual and it's like a little bigger than usual and you'll probably ask yourself

How the fuck did you afford this well? It is out of my price range, but here's the trick It's fake It's made out of sugar Well if anyone will figure that out, it'll be Britney. Because you know that girl, you know that girl's going to get the ring and be like, wow! It's real. It's real. He got me one of those edible diamonds.

So I felt a little uncomfortable by the scene because Jack starts saying how He got an inheritance from his father and so he was using that. Oh really you're driving your inheritance from your father We already saw it in the first scene of the show sir That's why I felt uncomfortable but But basically he's like you know when my when my dad died, I was going to drink myself in a hole. And then, Brittany said, can you please not do that? And she made me make such a huge turn out. I'm like, she asked the most basic fundamental question. You

would ask someone who said that they're about to drink themselves into whole. It's like the basic level of consideration and concern. Could you please not do that? Could you please not like get wasted right now? And if you did, don't forget to blanket. So, he's, you know, I just wrote Jack's has fat voice. Like this is where it hit me. I was like, that's what it is. That voice. So then Tom is like, well, bro, this wedding rings, that's gray, everything, whatever. I just wanna make sure that there's like a part of this

isn't coming from that part of you that's just like, she was there with my dad, dad. So I gotta get her a ring. And Jack's goes, it is. That's exactly why. Oh my God, you totally got it. I was like, my dad died. She went out in the backyard dug a hole, got some flowers.

She picked out his favorite seed, divvied up his money, I got a Mustang. Why wouldn't you want to marry a bitch like that? He goes, he's like, you know, considering everything that she went through, the fact that she still like went in a range of flights and got flowers and everything. I mean, that's my soul mate, you know, considering everything that she went through, the fact that she still like went and arranged the flights and got flowers and everything, I mean, that's my soulmate, you know,

a woman who will do just pretty much anything for me, even after I humiliated her on national TV, that is my soulmate. I immediately got engaged to my postmate. I was like this motherfucker, not only brings me McDonald's when I'm a vegetarian and 1230 and I. He makes me sadly shuffle out there stoned in my socks to get it from his car.

Married. So then Brittany starts telling, we go back to Brittany and she's telling Stasi that when she went back to Kentucky a little bit, she slept with her ex, and I was like, good for you, Brittany, good for you. You earned that, and then she was like, I mean, I would never cheat, and I hope it never happens to me again, at which point I think collectively all of America'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I was like, oh, so we were on a break. I was like, oh, so now you're a Ross too. You know, this couple is actually made for each other. And you know what, God bless them. I've spent so much hate, and I will do it after wedding if I'm invited. But at the end, you know, terrible people deserve love too.

That's true. Okay, so next we go to, yeah. Next we go to the guy. Carolina writing crazy things on Twitter. Oh wait, what? Okay, so now it's like okay guys time for like the fun Uplifting music because it's time for Jacks to start getting ready to rip it was to Brittany So he's put on his like tightest white shirt and his tightest pants and he's got his like Kyle Chan box That he has nowhere to put so we like put in his crotch, you know

Look at all the flicking I'm doing I'm like flick flick on the iPad flick flick I refuse to give this attention Kerry honn so he calls a lift he calls a lift and Carry on. So he calls a lift, he calls a lift, and he gets a lift with Brittany and his like, I gotta go number two. I'm like Brittany, you're about to get engaged with a guy who didn't have the force I had to do number two before. He got him to the lift, just think about that.

Think about that. Now Brittany starts doing, this is where Brittany has no idea what's about to happen. And she's like, I was like, that is my life twin, because that's how I laugh. And Brittany starts doing this laugh thing, which I've never heard before, but I'm kind of loving it, you know. So he's like, Cool! Our lips is here.

It's here, and she's like, Hahahaha! I was like, okay, I'll watch this. You sound like a British person calling for an elevator jacket, exhale. Huh. So over at Tom and Katie, you sound like that. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Kristen is wearing like an old lady glitter jacket, we have a, Yeah, that's the name of the reason. And Katie is wearing like a 60s ponytail thing. But I don't really get either. And Tom number two is shaking something in a shakeer. Which I really don't get either. I don't know what's happening this season,

but Tom number two should be in bed. Katie never wants to be coloring a fucking book with her hair all messy, stoned out of her mind, wondering why the hell she's even on this earth. I feel like each of them were given a prop and they said, okay, here's your prop, do something in the scene. So they gave Kristin some like, razzled as a like, lowest Rina jacket, you know?

And she's like, all right. Lowest Rina jacket. Or was, I didn't just. Yes, queen. It was like, I expected, I expected like, her to become in like this, you know? But this is Christen, she's like, give him the old horse face.

So Christen's like, um, okay, this is like murder, she Christened. Murder, she Christ. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, Malibu. But we're supposed to meet him at Al-Qaeda later. So tonight is definitely night is gonna propose. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh way right now. Meanwhile, Katie is like fully channeling Britney Murphy and I'll never tell she's like, she's just like mumbling in the corner for no reason. So yeah, so Stasi is like going out of her mind because she's like, you know, she's doing that the Kristen Wig thing. She's like, oh, it's a pro, it's a pro. You know, so she goes into the kitchen, she and Tom's were like, oh my God, what do we do?

Oh my God, you know, they're being crazy. And while they're trying to like deal with keeping their secret in, we then go over to Neptune's net in Malibu. Okay, I wrote Uber and Malibu fat voice. Could there be a better metaphor for this for Jacks than Neptune's net? Like he literally took a giant net over the sea. I was like, this is what I pulled back. Brittany.

Portapoddy. I mean, Jacks takes the one place in Malibu. We haven't been there, right? Because even the place we went to. I've been to Neptune's net. Yeah, but when I went with you with your friends, we went to a place that looked like that. It was like counter ordering.

I mean counter ordering. We went to a place like that, but we peed in an actual P spot, right? It wasn't like a porta potty. So it's like we've been there. It was an actual P spot, guys. Thank you. And we're not even married.

Who does that? By the way, I do have to say I feel bad because I implied that Brittany was like the directs of the sea and she's not. She just got caught in Jackson's net and I just feel very bad. No, that bitch swung that damn move over and over. OK, that's the fisherman who gets to net

and he's like, which one of your fish would like to leave? And she's like, not me, I'll be on TV. Fale me, Fale me. Like no one even wants to eat that fish. It's like jumping onto your plate. You're like, gross. It's a thirsty fish. Yeah, you're like, you're not ready yet.

So Jack takes her to the place, Neptune's net, which people who live there knows. It takes an hour to drive there, which means he got that shit for free. And I get, look, I want to get married. I've wanted to get married in that shit for a very long time. Yeah, I want to get married on an altar built of squatty parties. I want everybody to get team ET when they leave. I want to fuck my husband on a Casper mattress.

I mean. Yeah. I want to fuck my husband on a Casper mattress Yeah, after I said of cigarette I want to smoke some vates from e-liquid and then read out of that with the magazine one called that we do Eat some cherries berries girl. Yes. He's audible dot Wishing I don't even care if my husband is made out of a Casper's mattress like care of my husband is made out of a cast for some mattress like to me like have a care by craft mac and cheese be part of the clean playclub everyone am I right clean playclub this sick header by hello fresh girl y'all can cook your own meals with your perfectly portioned color coded ingredients and your and the invitations will be provided by Papien. Yes, it's going to be, thank you for agreeing to RSVP. Use code wood crap and for check out.

I am for the free sit, but Neptune's net, it's like getting a free meal at McDonald's, so like pop in your, pop in your ring through a glory hole in the, you know, in the Sermon O. All right, it's time to confess something. I went to Neptune's net for an anniversary with my boyfriend, so. But to be fair, to be fair, or we went to the outlets first. I mean, we're just coming back, so it's okay.

I did not know that I'm so sorry. Well, I would, but you know, we never proposed to someone there. And also you paid for your meal. Okay. So even for a minute, I don't care, you know, you paid for it. It's, my point is, Jackson's getting free shit at the worst fucking place ever. It was delicious. Someone had to pay for that Uber. Like he got a lima paid on the way home, but like, it's just the economics don't work of it, you know, Don't marry that man. Well at least it wasn't a mixology 101. Truth. Yeah, I mean at least that's close, you know the graph. Okay, so Jackson's of Jackson's first line in Neptune's net. They get

out of their like shitty lift. Like it wasn't even a good, like it was a shit lift, okay. They probably just let, it was probably like a lift pool where they let off like five people on the way. Oh my God, there were probably a lot of people who were like, who is farting in this lift pool? Please let me out, lift line. That poor driver, I mean. So, Jackson's first line is, I forgot there were porta-podies here.

And Brittany goes, but I have on a wide dress. And I was like, you were pathetic both of you. And then Jackson looks around Neptune's net. Which is a shit hole. I mean, good fish. They do have delicious fish. It's delicious. You know it's frozen from Trader Joe's. We all know it. Why lie? But, you know it's frozen from Trader Joe's. We all know it. Why, why?

But, Jack's Watson and he goes, you know it's shitty, even for Jack's, which is saying something, because Jack's is a shab. But he walks in there and he goes, he goes, there's so much character here. So much character. Well, meanwhile, back in civilization, Stasi is still with the other two.

And like, she's going out of her mind, becauseasi is still with the other two and like you know She's going out of her mind because Kristen is still trying to like connect the dots and everything and like we receive like Kajasose like not limping anymore so going to it all along you know and Finally, no Kristen's coming with all these tears and find sausage like oh my god You guys are so fucking intuitive. I can't deal. I can't deal But Kristen doesn't realize that that's like sausage waves and I've said yes you figured out so she's still getting mentioned like and then I got this text and this is what Jack said he goes he says first of all let me ask you something a I don't know what preface means b

I was like Jack doesn't know what preface means I feel like that got lost in the middle of all this So yeah, so finally sausage like you guys they're proposing tonight and they're like oh You know, they're all excited. So now we go back to the go back to the restaurant for truly the most romantic scene that ever happened Okay, you want to read that? Yes, yes, okay, but we have to have a microphone. So this well first I will say this What was really cool? I really liked the way this you know opened with them practicing their wedding vows You know when bring you was like you get the crayab legs and I'll get the tartar sauce or something like that I was like that was beautiful that was like

We're gonna watch this down with a shot of mayo. He's like all all right. All right, I'll be Jax, you be Brittany? Okay, okay, just do it right here, though. Okay, I'll be Jax. Okay. Well, a sunny day on the, on the beach. This is so pretty. God, the smell of love is in the air. And by love, I mean disinfectant, it is a passive.

Tell your nes it there's something. Jayat! Jayat! What are you doing? Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Miss Brittany Cartwright. Thanks! Will you? Will you do me the honor of being the last vagina? I stick my penis into. I will ever since I was a little girl I had imagined a man is his big age years. Once I saw a leather couch in the thrift store, had cracked down the center of his face,

and it was five different colors. And I just moved my face closer to it and closer to it, and I said, well, you marry me, and it never answered. I never recovered from that, but I've had a reservation at the White Castle in Kentucky for 19 years, waiting for you. This is the happiest moment of my life. Although you still didn't get the charter sauce.

So I would just like to say one more thing in commemorating them, of you being on your knees. Hashtag ad. And then she goes, I knew this boy had it in him. I knew he was going to take a wife someday. I'm like, no, he's literally going to take someone's wife. Be careful.

Be careful. All right. That brings us to the end of Van der Papu rules, everyone. You guys, thank you so much for coming out on a Thursday night in Nashville. This has been one of my best birthday celebrations I've ever had. It really means a lot to me. Thank you to everyone who made a video. Thank you to Ronnie.

I love you. Oh, thank you. I like the carning kid. Look at me. I'm like packing up my shit in the middle of the vows. You guys, you rich, take this lean. I'm like packing. I'm like putting the cake in Tupperware.

Mmm. Girl. You guys, this has been amazing. I'm like packing, I'm like putting the cake in Tupperware. I'm like, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, And we've done a whole year now of touring. This has been our first year of doing this. You guys, thank you so much for everything you've given us. Yes, thank you so much. It's been absolutely amazing. All over the country. We love you. We cannot believe we get to do this. Yeah. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you so much for bringing this. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness.

Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Thank you for sitting through our crazyness. Hey, Bats! Love you guys! Bye, everyone! Hey! Hey, my name!

Welcome to the mall, and I'm saying everywhere I go, people all at every day, I raise my hands, I'm an all-out cat, bat, head bats, head bats, if you don't know me, you're welcome to blow me back. Head bats, head bats, You're welcome to blow me back. Yeah, back. Yeah, back. Everyday's a parade, don't keep me trying to shake.

Mackenzie's a dog for the face of a convince that I pulled him all because when I play I wake up. People might think, come to the side, I'm the man. Ask me lots of questions, I answered everyone. Yeah, back. Yeah, back. Yeah, back. Yeah, back. Pretend not to love, bitch, you pretend nothing left me to duck to hear about me, bitch, hey, bitch, hey, bitch, you can try to hate me if I like to celebrate me, boy, bitch, girl, bitch, bitch, bitch, all around the world. Even track such as Red Band, Mommy, Dad, Dad, Dad, even baby, and the Holy to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.