Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Apo-Lala-gy Tour

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

This week on Vanderpump Rules, Lala apologizes to Scheana, and then Lala apologizes to Brock, and then Brock apologizes to Lala, and then James apologizes to Raquelle. Oh, and Tom Schwartz apparently has a debilitating gambling problem.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Provo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today is a man with the mission statement of his own. Mr. Ronnie Karam, hi Ronnie, how are you?

Ben, I just want to be wind the cold futuristic Renaissance pass. I love Lucy, top us and fold them arrows. Sounds like a clear vision to me. You guys, we are talking Vanderpump rules today. Before we dive into it, a few announcements about the show for this week and next week. So we, in case you missed it, we dropped the first episode of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. We did a recap of that that came out earlier today. We also, we did a crap and it's on demand episode with that.

And in that one, it's a free one for everyone. So even if you're not signed up, you can go check that out. Then the next two recaps, those will be next week, those will air next week. So if you're wondering where the other recaps, they are going to be next week, the Thanksgiving week for those of us here in the U.S. And the next week, the Winterhouse finale is gonna air, but we're just gonna push that until after Thanksgiving, give ourselves a rest.

So that's sort of like the lay of the land for all that stuff. And then of course, don't forget that we are going on the road in 2022, it'll be our 10 year hunky-dory tour, 10 year anniversary tour. We are really excited. We keep talking about our big show in New York that kicks it off because it's our 10-year anniversary

and it's the Golden Crappies. And the first time we've ever done the Golden Crappies, we're already lining up some really fun guests and some fun things. Not a lot of tickets left for that, but we're going to all sorts of places. We're going to Boston this very same weekend. We're going to DC.

We're going to Nashville, we're going to Philly, we're going to LA, San Diego, all sorts of places. So, know that it's more than just New York, and we're going to have a great time in each and every one of those places. We love seeing people in the audience, and we really feed off the energy, and we have such, such a great time. So, go to watchacrapids.com and get your tickets. We are so excited to get back on the road. And who knows what adventure waits there, but for right now, the adventure is at Villarosa. Hi, Ronnie.

Villarosa. Hi. Oh, also go watch our Real Housewives of Ultimate Girls Trip recap. We did a free crap and it's on demand week. So everybody can watch it. That's how much we love the show. Okay, so if you want to watch it,

just go to our Patreon, patreoncom slash watch what crappens. If you want all our videos, you know, sign up. Okay, so here we are. Pump rules. Pitch, not so perfect. So we started off where Lala and Randall's house and Lala is holding the baby. I know this is not correct or not accurate, but it feels like the first time I've seen her holding the baby. Is it just me? I'm like, it looked, I was like, oh, there's Lala holding a baby. I forgot that she has a baby.

I mean, I don't forget. She's holding that baby. But like for some reason, it just really was like a parent to me. Oh, there's Lala. I mean, she holds the baby for two minutes before she hands it off to the night nurse every scene, right? Well, yeah, they just call it the night nurse. It ain right? Well, yeah, they'd just call it the night nurse. It ain't the night nurse.

It's the all-damn-day and night nurse, okay? You're just calling it the night nurse so you can feel less guilty about handing the baby off. Never feel guilty about handing your baby off, okay? That's why there's a small and squishy. As far as I'm concerned, put a pop socket on the back of them and get one of those little pop socket holders and put it all over the house. You can just hang the baby there.

I'll expect you to hold your baby all day long. It's disgusting. Yeah. So she's like, ocean, you're gonna meet James Kennedy today, which is something that no baby should ever be told. I mean, you want to keep their innocence as long as possible. I know. You're gonna meet the first person

you're actually more intellectually mature than today. James Kennedy. So then we see Ariana swooping up dog hair and then James arrives at Lala's. I don't know why we diverted to Ariana, but James arrives at Lala's and she's like, Lily, you know Jameson, because she's talking to her dog now, you know, Jameson, Jameson, Lily, Lily, Jameson. Oh, yeah, he's like, I bought, her present or bought the baby a present girl. It's a working nose.

It's a little bunny rabbit. It's super soft and has a nose. It hasn't been fucked up by surgery. Yeah, and actually he brings the baby a puzzle, which is a little confusing. No, no, she probably says. He said a prezi. A prezi.

Oh, a prezi. It did it to puzzle on my autograph. I was like, wait a second, you look in puzzles, baby. No, she probably says he said a presse a presse. Oh a presse Read did it to puzzle on my auto. I was like wait a second look at puzzles, baby But puzzles to babies It's a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle of recars. Oh no, it's something to remember it by Just like we used to call your mother when she started the surgery jigsaw enjoy baby surgery, chink saw, enjoy baby. He's like, and I also got her very first pair of uggs, emphasis on uggs. So while I was like, um, that is so sweet. So what did I miss at the party?

And he's like, oh my god. So Rick have fell asleep on the floor with idiots. I vacuumed her. I had coffee in my mouth. Don't make jokes about James Backing, Raquel while I've got him in my mouth. So he's waking up. We see a clip of him waking her up and he's like, she looked like sleeping beauty, but she was white state.

And then we cut back to Ariana's and we were at her house because Raquel's coming over. So we're going across cut between these two scenes. So Raquel's like, oh my God, it like sound good in here. We left an Iraq didn't we? And she's like, you know, it's mostly just putting food away. To which I say again, Charlie, did you, why weren't you cleaning up this party? Okay. You host a party, someone else's house. You don't bring anything and then you leave and let them clean it up. How dare you, ma'am. How dare you? And what before we forget, this is something that we did not mention last week,

but we really should mention because it's great, which is that Charlie and China got into a Twitter feud because apparently last week after Brock mounted that TV in under seven minutes, it fell off the wall. And so Charlie posted a picture of it and was like, oh my God, we thought someone was barging into the house,

LOL, and then China was like, well, you didn't have the proper tools or the proper anchors for the wall, which was like, oh my god, we thought someone was barging into the house, LOL, and then she was like, well, you didn't have the proper tools or the proper anchors for the wall. It was just like a funny video bit and like it was not secure, it never was secure and you should have known it wasn't secure and maybe someone who enjoyed my enchiladas would have appreciated that the TV wasn't secure.

Huh. Yeah, maybe you should have realized that that was just fun for the vlog. Oh yeah, your realistic vlog to just show people the real side of Brock. Okay. Okay, Shima. the real side of Brock. Okay. Okay, she now the real side of Brock, which includes a fake mounting of a television. Yeah, it says a lot. Um, so of course, Raquel has like the only cute Tupperware. It's like a little pink

Tupperware. So she had a real. Yeah, Raquel had diarrhea. So we're talking about that because they ate so many different things. And those amcents shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh The momentum, James momentum in my voice, I can't switch over to Lala just yet. Lala, Lala, Lala, Lala, Lala. Oh my god. How does that affect you? Does it affect you when people are drinking around you? Like, I can't do drinking games with people. That's for sure. That's, that's, well, it's like, yeah, you're not really supposed to do drinking games sober. They don't really have the same, you know. Yeah, that's why they're called drinking games. It's like, I mean, like we play this way, it's like the names of cheese, you know, and then it gets to re-kele, and she doesn't know anything, you know, and so Charlie whispers to her. Am I being too loud for the baby?

And she's like, I'll pass her off to the nightmares, but don't worry, you're not too loud for. I mean, we sleep next to Fred Flintstone. Like, she was almost sucked down Randall's nose literally last night, but take her nightmares. It sounds like there's a lawnmower starting up literally every time Randall inhales at night, okay? So she's like, well, that's definitely the last time I played drinking games.

I mean, talk about annoying. Did I seem annoying when I was drunk? I wasn't that annoying when I was a drunk. I know we see a montage of James being truly the worst drunk we've ever seen. Yeah. And Mama's like, well, did you show everybody that you were irked? And he's like, a little, a cold, the girl's dumb,

which she cracks up at because massage and he's like hilarious when it's from someone she likes. Yeah, so Ariana's like, so what's up with James's fuse? He seems like, like, can I give that a double? Because it's so, right now. Oh my God, is Randall here? I thought I heard Randall breathing. Oh no, sorry. That was the actual garbage disposal.

So, Arianna was like, yeah, I thought it was weird that James brought up the no situation. Like that was stressful for him. I mean, like, I thought he was being a little bit of a brat. Like, it's so, yeah. Yeah, he's an asshole. So, cut back to James and he's like, I mean like I thought he was being a little bit of a brat like this so yeah Yeah, he's an asshole so cut back to James and he's like We can't go to his job and it didn't turn out well And I don't want to get another one because if it doesn't go right what do you think it's gonna do to our relationship?

Well, I was like so you're gonna leave her if she has a shit nose. He's come on. Is that really fair? Is that really fair? I'll leave her for so many different reasons Oh, so back to Raquel, she's like, sometimes I think that James thinks about himself before other people. Oh yeah. Did you notice that when he proposed to you, he actually just proposed to himself?

James, do you take your other hand in marriage? I do James, congratulations. Raquel, you want to join in? And Ariana is like, well, can you bring it up to him? Or does he like, and that's actual muscles going down. Sorry, you shouldn't eat those on the second bank. And he's like, well, James just gets annoyed.

I just want James to recognize when he's wrong. Me and Ken's human says his temper and when we have kids he can't do that. He will. Don't marry a man who's abusive and loses his temper. What the fuck is wrong with you? Rod, bitch. Rod! When people show you who they are believe us, right?

So James is like, well I don't want a fiance with a botch nose. I fucking say it, okay? I'm not an asshole, these are facts, okay? I mean why would I want to take a home on New Year's Eve? I mean, like why did I want to take a home on New Year's Eve six years ago? I mean, did I know how deep she was?

How kind and patient she was that night? No, I fucking didn't. I knew she was a six foot supermod from California. I mean, come on. You got to do this. You can't ruin the nose. And she's like, yeah, you can't weigh in, James. It's her face and she has to feel beautiful.

And it's like, well, I've got this face without doing a single thing. It's like, yeah, obviously. You know, just because you look like the guy who is on many covers of Mad Magazine doesn't mean you have a magazine worthy face you fuck Yeah, just because Bowser Jr flies around in your head on the super Nintendo does not mean it's a beautiful face so So now

So the Tom show up and for this we's wacky bit of wackiness They're wearing identical thick rimmed glasses and these are like What's with the glasses oh god and? Dredro that's right redro that's our theme for the week. They're also rosé colored in honor of you To guys I can't take you seriously look let me take a picture of your phone This is you from my point of view Oh Let me take a picture of your phone. This is you from my point of view. Oh! I aimed this telephone at you, pressed the button, and now your pictures are on it.

Magic! What the future? I see you. Yeah. Panty. Where we going? We don't need roads, Panty. So, uh, Schwartz is like, uh, he's like,

oh, thanks for having us, Wolver. So, we love the concept of our bar, but we want to run it by you to get your feedback so you can come in and save us that'd be great. Thanks. Bye And Swords is like wow Vanderpump is like the only person who can help us nail this vision It's like all right. Show me what you've got. He's, well, I did keep to sperm this morning. No darling, you're vision! Oh dude, so here's like some fabric we found with the bar sewers.

Oh dude, bro, you left your sperm sample on this thing. Never mind, we see it. Oh, it actually works with the sperm sample darling. You know, we actually had that idea for Villa Blanca. Where do you think the Blanca comes from? So she's like, ooh, many different colors of red and pink all swirl together. It's beautiful, I love it. And it's from the UK. Oh my goodness.

Let me put out the bat signal for Nicolaine. Nicolaine, new fabric alert. A giant pendulum just swings by with nickelane holding on. Like, Ali, it's our whatever you need. Just an image of like steampunk gears in the sky. First bat signal. Oh, so, um, we see the material and she laughs at it and she's like, so how much is this darling?

He's like, ah, like 30. She's, oh, 30 square foot. Because, ah, like 30, just 30 square foot, because ah, or maybe a yard, she's, well, there's a big difference between a foot and a yard, darling, or a, but your fabric comes in yards. So I feel like she's just trying to be mad. She's just being like, I'm a boss, business,

business, vanilla envelope. So I don't think I've ever heard of fabric coming by the foot, but okay, be mad. It's fun. Sometimes it's hard to remember if it's fabric or fruit, you know? So mission, time for their mission statements, they read their mission statement. Welcome to Schwartz. Oh, no, actually, is it Schwartz reads it as a Tom at this moment?

It doesn't matter. It's sand of all. Yeah, sand of all. Dude, welcome to Schwartz and Sandeys, a Funkadelic dive lounge where you check your worries at the door and escape reality. We hope to bridge the familiarity of your best night out with the deja vu of your future fantasy. At least it's like, okay, so that makes sense.

Great. That makes, what mission statement is that? That literally means nothing. deja vu of your future? That's not what a deja vu is. It's a remembrance of your past. It's like supposed to be like clever word play and it's just like nothing. It's, it's like it's terrible. It's fucking terrible. It sounds like you took a mushroom and tried

to string words together. That's exactly what it sounds like. So she's like, all right, well, what else? Oh, by the way, while he's saying this speech Schwartz is like moving his finger like he's like yet like listening to beautiful music and So And so she's like Anything else and he's like yeah, okay, here's some ideas when you go to the bathroom There's like an archway, but then you go through the archway, but then the ceiling stall and then we have these things that are like Hard edges because like we like soft things with hard edges.

And then we were thinking of having lattice, so you could see through it, and then like, vine hanging from the, and like plants, plants, we want plants. Like, so Villa Rosa, basically. Yeah, essentially. It's good for art. Yeah, Villa Rosa or Villa Blanca or whatever.

I was talking to some friends over the weekend, and I was like, we have to come up with a term for the Savannah from style and where we landed at is Garden Party Grotesque. And that's, that's, you know, like lots of ornamentation, lots of crystals, lots of florals and metallics and planters and urns. It's just with like an excess of like, of classic glamour and elegance, just like vomit, a vomit of all that stuff. And that's basically what they're going for. Garden party, grotesque,

despite what everything else that they're saying. Yeah. So she's like, well, I mean, come on, you know, I mean, listen, here's what you have to do. You have to go in and say, listen, you did a chubby man. All right, I've got breasts, which means you're going to want me either way. I'm very sexy and I only have sex with you on your

birthday Christmas cat, 10, cat, it. Rioscio just comes in and slaps her. Thank you, I needed that, it's my daily slap. So Lisa's like, okay, go in and say we have a clear vision of our design and we want to be under budget and it's going to be retro fun and very vibrant And you know like when you deviate from the through line think of my foot or perhaps my yard get it going up your ass Oh my god that turned me on right now So then we get our new song for the week are you ready are you ready are you ready are you ready are you ready are you ready are you ready Are you ready let's go? It's you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go! It's from Tricks' new album Little Child in the Car. Are we there? Yeah, are we there? Yeah, are we there? Yeah, are we there? Yeah, are we here?

God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be, God be So we're at Brock's and he's sewing and she knows mama's there. She's like, how's that going, Brock? Everything she says to him is like, really, Brock, you're sewing. Yeah, selling and she's and he's like, well, yeah, I sold on YouTube. You can get your shit That doesn't fit dead anymore and what you can do is cut a sicker from it and bought a being-bought a beam and you got a summer dress for hair. And so he's made this like basically a baby moo moo. And you know that the mom is just like, oh yeah, well my sister can make a halter top.

Hmm. Yeah, auntie invented halter top or crop top wedding dresses. Drop top. Yeah. Suck that one, buddy. So then we go to Jameson Rekel working out and James is like crying top wedding dress. Drop top. Yeah. Yeah. Suck that one, buddy. So then we go to James and Raquel working out and James is like crying because he's having

to do a plane. He's like, oh, oh, oh. And then we go back to, are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you? Okay.

Guys, this is great. Trixie, great. Great job. Catchy. And then we, so James and Raquel are just stretching. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? And we're back at Sir and Charlie's serving goat cheese balls and someone's like, excuse me, what's this sauce on top of it?

And she goes, um, and she's like, hold on one second. So just to go back and consult the menu, even though like, I mean, girl. And she comes back just, it's mango sauce, which I'm also like, why are you serving good? She's balls with mango sauce. I love that this show is just has the worst weight or is it ever.

Like how many years have you worked at this place? And you still don't know. How do you not look at a yellow sauce and not have any sort of like memory of mango sauce like triggered in your brain? Like, I think it's yellow ketchup, I'm not sure. Oh God, don't say triggered because maybe she is, you know?

We'll find out later she got triggered by mango one time. We're bastards. So then Ariana comes over to Sheena's and you know, they're still in the sewing scene or whatever. And she's like, oh my God, I've never been here before. Oh, give me a lesson, Sprock. I don't know how to sell. Please don't learn how to sell.

You wanna talk about being overused by your husband to learn to sell. Tom will never let you leave that house. Yeah, I'm surprised Tom hasn't asked for lessons yet. And then they can look like a wacky scene and Tom can like come dressed like a tailor or something. He can be like an old school tailor and he can then start sewing and you know, he can get, he could do, not only can he do dress up,

but he can actually make his dress up. Dude, if Tom learned to sew, he would be out in John by now. Cause you know, he would look like a fucking parade float everywhere he went. I imagine him like sewing like train uniforms, like, like an old time the engineer or something, you know, with overalls and stuff. Razing kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So Ariana takes baby summer into her hands and she's playing with it and she's like,

well, I want to have another baby and I'm like, considering freezing my eggs. And we find out that Ariana throws her eggs, which is surprising because she's always been like, I don't wanna have a baby. Pfft. But, um. That's just such a, that's such a friend thing to do in LA. I'm freezing my hands, you wanna come? Yeah, actually, that sounds fun. Let's go freeze our eggs.

I just want to bring a casual jump to the egg freezing place. And then she no takes to the next step. She goes, well, you know what? Like we've been thinking about getting sorrogates. Like we could get sorrogates together. I have not that. It's like, oh, that's, like just like, she's acting is if they're going to get like lattes. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, like our surrogates could like be best friends. And then she

tells us, you know, I mean, freezing my eggs surprise, like it doesn't mean I'm jumping on the baby train. It's just like showing that I have agency over my own body and my future. And it's a big fuck you to people who question my fucking choices. So then Katie starts texting them and she texts something like, I'm throwing a little swery to my overnight. It's a convenient narrative party. Martini's, Scotch, Whiskey. There's a theme I'm alluding to. Man of mystery and femme fatale, which is so funny to say that. There's a theme I'm alluding to. Just say the theme is man of mystery and femme fatale, not the name I'm alluding to.

Katie works very hard to convince everybody that she reads a lot. So then Ariana's, here she is. Ariana's like, here she is. Ariana. Ariana's like, I think this might be just a ruse to get you and Lala in the same room. Brux, like, no one's a like, um, I think this might be just a ruse to like get you and Lala in the same room. I'm broke, like,

no one's a bot, no anyway, they're for sure. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I just want to see what I find out. Cool. Check my phone. I'm like fine. You know, even though Lola has ruined every friendship she has done screw up, she continues to come around again because she has no other friends and no one else likes her. And then then we go over to the speaking people who have ruined friendships. We go back over to the stretch place and James is like, oh, yeah, I'm feeling pretty strong right now. I feel strong and recal. I was like, I know I carry stuff inside my body and it's good to release it out.

Like diarrhea, which I had this morning again. He's like, good, great. Love that. And she says, yeah, but not other night, like you seem really mad. He's like, that was the picking point. My little temper tantrum. Sorry about that. Sorry, pick point, you know, just one. Just normal thing, temper tantrum, that was the peak you happen to

be there, sorry, whatever. Well, I feel like sometimes you have the tendency to think about yourself before others and the main comment that disturbed me the most was when I brought up my nose to the group and you said, I'm the one who has to go look at your fucking face the rest of my life and he goes I'm the one who has to look at your face for the rest of my fucking life or I I'm the one who wakes up next to you. Now you know Ronnie if this were like a spooky Halloween fable tale he would like make a wish he's like I want I just want it so I don't have to look at her crazy nose can you just fix this so I don't have to look at her crazy nose and then he would get blinded, you know?

Oh, yeah. I'm going to submit that story somewhere. And he's like, well, I've seen how these Beverly Hills women get their Botox, the lip injections, the nose job, the hour filler. I don't want my wife to look like that. Straight up. First of all, she's already got injections, fillers and Botox. So let's not pretend that she doesn't. A second of all, yes you do because if you don't, this just means you're going to keep jumping to 20 year olds, which is probably what he's going to do. Let's face it. But also like, if you don't want your wife to go down

that path, like, I mean, you went after, you went after a woman who's like a supermodel type in Los Angeles. And like, I'm not saying this is the path for a Requel, but like, you know, like, if you don't want to go down that path, then like, why are you, why are you going for someone that looks forward? You know what I'm saying? Yes. Well, he just wants her to be naturally hot forever, which isn't how it works. Yeah. One thing you can be sure, there's a few things you can be sure of in this world.

Death Tax isn't getting ugly, okay? We do, we all do it, unless you die, young, okay? Unless you're like marisa. Otherwise, yeah, well, Mauricio has, you know, turned a little more John, what's that John Tatarou? Yeah, that's true. I take it down. So, like, we all go, there's no escaping it, what's that, John Tattaro? Yeah, that's true. I take it back. You know? So like we all go, there's no escaping it.

There's literally no escaping it. You asshole. Yeah, the point is that like, you know, like, Rick Hell's life as far as we can tell seems mainly to be about like her appearance. I mean, I'm not saying she's not without depth or anything like that, but it seems like it's mainly about that.

And this is stuff that's important to her. And then he's gonna like then he's gonna be like, okay, me go after you because the things that I was drawn to about you are the things that now I wanna control, you know? Yeah, and then saying, I don't want somebody who's gonna be obsessed with plastic surgery when all you're doing is digging on their looks

and making them more secure, which would lead them to plastic surgery, you fucking twit. Yeah, exactly. So then James's like, well, I thought I would and botched my nose and she goes, well, I would make sure you're okay. No, you wouldn't end up probably leaving me eventually. She's, well, is that what you're gonna do with me? And by the way, that is really the insight there.

Like, he's clearly projecting his own insecurities that he has. He probably doesn't feel worthy of having Raquel, right? He probably thinks that like, Oh, I'm not even gonna unnotice that we've been through, I'm not giving him any sort of compassion. I'm just saying, this probably explains like, Oh, so this is where this is really coming from.

You got your own insecurity that you're projecting onto her. Yes, and I think that that's probably true, but I choose to use compassion for people who deserve it and not emotionally abusive pricks like James, like I can't. Well, don't confuse what I say with compassion because it definitely was not compassion It was just more like oh, this is probably an insight She's like, you can think that first, but like first and foremost, it's my body So you don't need to vocalize what's going on in your head about my body because your number one job is my fiance.

It's a. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And then she said, because your number one job as my fiance is to support me and not to add to the stress I'm already feeling. Well, I shouldn't have said it and I was wrong. What I should have said is, I don't want to look at your headiest face because your head face can be totally headiest. So just nothing learning curve. No, another thing to put under the belt

and keep marching forward. And so I do again tomorrow. So it was at the peak of my frustration again. So now we go over to the new restaurant, the new Tom's restaurant and the Tom's are there with Katie because she finally is going to come see it because she said she wanted to come see it and Schwartz has his hands over her eyes or at least has, she's either got someone's hands on her eyes. Maybe it's hers.

I don't remember. I wasn't thinking that that much less attention. But he's like, oh, honey, be careful. You can only see it for the first time once. Oh, honey. So, phrase has probably been said many times in their marriage. Yeah. It's like a new cheese.

So Katie's like, oh my God, it is tall. It's like, it's sick, right? And Sandivult's like, oh my god, it is tall. Shorts like, it's sick, right? And Sandivals like, well, Katie basically invited herself. She thinks she has a scene at the boardroom, but really, she's just there for bring your wife to work day. Yeah, it's so Greg shows up with a lady named Lucinda, I believe, and Katie's like, wow, this place it already has so much character and it just cuts to Tom

like, ugh, because it's sort of like implying like, don't change anything about it, right? She's so like, so much of what's already here with transition right into what you guys are thinking, right? He's like, ugh, stop it, dude, stop it. Then sports, Greg's like, all right, come on, give it to me, give me a pitch or whatever. And Schwartz is reading from a pink notebook

he clearly stole from Villa Blanca, you know, and or not Villa Blanca, sir. And so he's like, okay, well, here we go. We're gonna have food and it's gonna be like fine. And then there's gonna be vegan options and unique mixology. You guys just say you're building another sir without paying the savander problem. Cause that's basically what you're doing.

Just a minute and Schwartz reading this presentation, like it really had the same energy as the little boy and liar liar, making a wish that his father would stop lying. It was like, I just wish that for my birthday, Jim Kerry would stop lying to more a tyranny and that's all I want like that's what he was it's gonna be a vibrant funky dive lounge with this full Americana food including vegan options featuring simple fresh playful and unique mixology please never lie again. I like to think he calling it a dive lounge it is not gonna be a dive do you know what a dive lounge. It is not gonna be a dive, do you know what a dive lounge is?

It's not gonna be a dive lounge. Well, it's just, and you don't pay $50 for a plate of food at a dive lounge. Also, this is all just like meaningless, and it just is like very kitchen sinky. It's a vibrant funky dive lounge with tasteful Americana food, including vegan options. Like what, tasteful Americana?

They're basically saying upscale gastropub. That's what tasteful Americ a food is, right? I mean, or they're trying to do some cool retro thing. It's such a mishmash of so many ideas that it's like, it's a disaster. Yeah, but all they're really saying is stealing the menu we already have from Tom Tom and not paying a percentage to Vanderpump at the end.

And Greg's like, like, it good work. And also, we all know that Greg's totally gonna fuck these guys over and steal all their money at some point, right? Of course. Like roll. And also, we all know that Greg's totally gonna fuck these guys over and steal all their money at some point, right? Of course. Like, we're all on that page. We all know that, yeah. So then, Santa Claus is like, okay, dudes, here's the logo, okay?

So here's my notebook, okay. So we write shorts up here, but with an S, and then my name's like, in cursive, you know? But like, his name's like, ceramic, and it's like, dude! And Katie's like, um, that's like, not even how he spells name. No, he wrote Swars. Swars, Swippin' S. like dude and kiddies like um that's like not even how you spell his name. I know he wrote Swars. Swars. Swars.

Swars. He's a Swarsby with you. Also, where are they doing this in Magic Marker and not even going on Photoshop? Can you bring something out? He's like being like a beautiful mind. Like, oh, I was just like, I had to like just follow where the pan was going, dude. One words in cursive and one words not in cursive bro. So I do get a graphic designer please.

Oh so Katie whispers, you know, because Katie is a fucking under minor. So she's like, well I do try to help them, but they wouldn't listen to me. And he's like, well we ordered lights, we ordered lights. And Lucinda Greg's like, how much with those? And he's like, uh, we ordered lights, we ordered lights. And Lucinda Greg's like, how much were those? And he's like, uh, Lucinda? And she's like, 1,700. He's like, waste some money. Come on, you gotta call me.

What now we gotta find $3,400 for the rest of this place. Now come on. And so, San Diego's like, well, to me, it's all about the details or lack thereof, which is why I just sort of sketched out the logo with a blue pan on that's not bad. So Schwartz is like, yeah, because once we have the design and layout set, it's game on with the details. By the way, Greg, we want to be complimentary to the neighborhood and we have some bold

designs here and we love them. And to balance them out, we decide to mute the fabrics in the boots. It's like, oh, I'm sure the neighborhood appreciates your muted fabric inside. Like, okay. Just this whole thing, I was banging my head against the desk. So Greg's like, all right, so mission statement, I guess, let's do that. And he's like, okay, Frank Adaleck, you know, they do basically the same to be all we heard before. And Tom

Santaval still hasn't learned to say familiarity. He's like, and then we want to blend a familiar guy with the retro feel of deja-looms in the future. And Greg's like, that's a word salad. I kind of got lost. All right, listen, a mission statement says, here's what we gotta fucking get done and here's what we're gonna fucking do it, all right?

That's what it says. Hey, Katie's like, yeah, it's here's what we got a fucking get done and here's how we're gonna fucking do it All right, that's what it says hey Katie's like yeah, it's like what is this place? What does it do was a good for yeah? Yeah, I think she needs to be in your place. I think she needs to work on this now get it in there and kitty goes I don't want to rub anyone's nose in it, but when I said I know what I'm doing what I'm saying what I'm talking about I mean, I know what I'm doing what I'm saying and what I'm talking about. I mean, I know what I'm doing, what I'm saying, and what I'm talking about. I'm alluding to the fact that I know those things. All right, we've got to work this mission statement. So, Katie, it's going to help you.

That's it. And she's like, I told you I was useful. So then, now Lala's getting dressed for the steam party tonight. And they're all getting dressed. And Tom's talking to Ariana. He's like, so dude, I don't know if you knew this, but like Octopussy and like, never seen ever. And currently Simon, they all came out on the same year with all the same songs and the same movies. Fine. Ariana's just like blowing her

nose. She's not even listening to him. She just powered by it's like she pressed the button like She's not even listening to him. She just powered by it's like she pressed the button like So that wasn't being rude to you those being disarmed above no, I knew exactly what you were doing I'm written up being about your comments Yeah, so James is over with recount they're getting dressed and he's just wearing like a tux jacket with no shirt. He's like, how do I look? No shit with the jacket. I've already got the accent.

So who needs a shirt, right? And then Schwartz is going all in on his dapper look and Katie is like, I've only been wearing sweatpants for the past year and a half to five years. And so I just want to class this bitch up. I like when he said, honey, I don't know where my balls are. She was, oh, I keep them in my nightstand, everything. So then Lala enters in the most cliche, cliche, she was, yass clean.

So Katie tells us, yeah, I'm having this party and my the narrative is that it's like the Shina Show femme fatale because she was in a little movie called femme fatale and we all came to LA to follow our dreams but while the rest of us were working at Sir, Shina was doing what she needed to make her dream a reality. It's like, wow, so you had a whole party theme to slut shame scene. I love Katie's, you know, convenient feminism every other week.

When she's like, is the best feminist in the world? And then the very next week, she's throwing a party to slut shame somebody. Exactly. It's like, yes, she was doing whatever she needed to do. So don't shame her for the poor, poor sweet enchilada machine that she is. She is the composer of Good as Goldman.

So take a backseat, please. Yeah. So then Chino says, she's like, why is this being talked about? Like people are like, Google wouldn't see my boobs. That's the last thing that I want to happen is people seeing my wonderful boobs.

So, and Lala's like, yeah, I used it once to get off, like, because look, I got him so edgy, I'm Lala. So then, James and I call her a man. Would you say? I'm masturbate, I'm a rebel. I'm a rebel, Yasqueen. Like a gay person says, Yasqueen. So then everybody comes over, the whole gang comes over

to have some kind of speak easy party in the most brightly lit farm house. I know. House. Nothing about it says speak easy, but that's fine. It's more like silent hard. Yeah. Get it.

Silent hard. So then begins one of the segments that I have really come to hate on this show. The wacky Vanderpump rules segment with lots of titles because nobody has anything to fucking say and I can't. I blame post-production. That was my note. I can't with this. I hate these fucking segments.

I refuse. I refuse and I could see a coming as soon as shorts are talking about like what his name would be whatever. I was like, I know what's happening and I refuse. And I blame post-production and production and bravo. I blame everyone. I think this goes all the way to the top. You all have to stop. Okay, because we are a smart audience and we don't need to be condescended to with this bullshit. You get the first time you guys did it. It was funny, but you guys are killing this and you're killing me right now. No more. I say

no more. No more. Wicked costumes, no more silly segments. Thankfully, this one was a pretty short one. But no more. No more. Yeah,, no more silly segments. Thankfully, this one was a pretty short one, but no more, no more. Yeah, get a cast that can do something together because this was fucking ridiculous. So Lala sits down, everybody sits down and she's like, so tell me about the meeting and Santa Vos starts with Katie and Arot.

So she's like, I think Greg was most impressed with me. Kidding, kidding, just kidding, but he does want me to help with the mission state. And then people are still arriving. James shows up. He's like, who's riding a paul? And then Brock and she and she are like licking each other's tongues. They're like doing like a tongue dance and everyone's like, and you know, like Ariana's just like joking about why I get a boob job now that she's seen China's boobs because they all look so like big and plump from breastfeeding and stuff. Yeah, so she asked her how she's feeling about Lala and she was like, wow, I was gonna have

a conversation, but like what's the point? Like I don't want to have a deep conversation with you. I just want to like have fun tonight, right? And Lala's right there. Because whenever somebody talks about Lala today, she's right there right behind them. So she's like, are you guys in a deep conversation? And Ariana goes, yeah. Because Ariana's had a couple drinks and now she's just gonna be bitching for no reason.

My favorite. Yeah, she, she, but Ariana gets bludgered. Yeah. So then Lala's like, so she pulls, she, you know, and she's like, so she's you, I's like, um, so she pulls Sheena and she's like, um, so she's you, I know you have a lot of pent up issues me that I thought we get squashed. And she goes, yeah, well, I just want to know like,

you were like 100% genuine from like where you came from and I felt like you grew that to me and I was like, Jen, I was like, wow, she like genuinely cares. Like, we're good and we finally have fully moved on. But then at Lisa's, you like decide to be like a mean girl fucking bitch. And Lala just gives her a scrunched crazy face. But here's the thing, this isn't pent up issues.

That's what makes me crazy with Lala every week. She's making it sound like she knows holding on to some old issues from years and years ago. This was literally the past week of your life, really, in their timing. It just happened. It's not pent up. You're acting like an asshole.

And she then goes, well, you said I was dangerous. And Lala responds by saying, well, I felt like you were going to villainize me and play the victim. And I've known you a long time she's you. And you've brought really shitty dudes around, okay? And I was concerned. And you were my my concern and your baby was my concern and I was a little confused that me bringing that up to you would turn you into feeling the way you do about me. That's an interesting way to phrase it. Yeah. You've brought some really shitty men around.

Really? You're engaged to a dude that left his wife and kids and like bought a hostess off of a hostess stand with a movie role in a Range Rover. What the fuck are you talking about? You're literally engaged to a baked potato and not even Mr. Potato had just a potato. Um, so she was like, but I just felt like you weren't being genuine and it was like a very convenient timing. And she says it's hard to trust what she says because I'm like, I've been the butt of her joke. And her friends jokes for like years and she knows something fucked up and then just apologize, apologize over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Yeah, so I'll be your best friend.

I know. Best friends I got. Poor Shita, she falls for it every time. Commissars, here comes one right now. So Lala's like, I'm trying to make all these changes in my world and realizing that my words affect people. So what do we do now? And she's like, wow, I want to move past it.

Okay. I want to be like the opposite of someone trying to get by Brock in a hallway. I want to move past it. So then Lala's like, oh my God, we are so moved past it. Okay, can I go talk to Brock now? I'm just like, ah, I'm not talking to him. So the guys are outside on the patio talking, so Lala goes out and she's like, hey boys, if I have a conversation with Brock in front of you guys, can there be like no

Waiting in this time. Mm-hmm. They're like, okay, she goes, okay, so I just talked to your girl and we're good. So you're her partner and I just want to say, I want you to know that I've never good. So you're her partner and I just want to say, I want you to know that I've never wanted to come For you ever. I just expressed a concern that I feel is very valid and so Brox, it's not more issue. I mean, that's a big handed apology, okay? I'm sorry for what I say, but I expect it from me because that's what I do.

That's like me saying, hey, guess what? You wanted a full dress, but all the ideas kind of circle out of a shit and today it was a dress. That's not cool. She's like, but everybody in this group has had issues. a circle out of a shit and today it was a dress. That's not cool. She's like, but everybody in this group has had issues. You know, you just happen to appear with Lala and Shina had issues. And Tom's like, wow, Lala and Shina,

we're very bravely- She's like, no, we're not gonna do that. We're not gonna do that. Okay, we're not gonna do that. He's basically doing Roger Rabbit in the back room, trying to finish off like, doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo. Oh, doodoo doodoo.

Yeah, it's like he cannot stop the Tom Spaning. Yeah. And so he's like, well, Tom, just for a second, let me finish this song more like, nearly seen. I don't want to be involved in someone popping off, all right? She goes, oh, you've never popped off? Well, we know that he has because

he's got a domestic violence search first of all so yes he's popped off but that is not the point man and she's like I'm an acquired taste I'm like a fine wine so like when people are like this like some people are like I really like wine and then some people are like I like he goes well I'm drinking scot yeah a lot of us see you weren't fucking with me either ways and so then of course you know comes out I need to feed our baby because I've got a baby at home. Okay. I got to feed my baby And Lawless like I think I'm ready to so she gets up and she was like oh my god Like I'm my parents are beggar now James goes did you push them up? What did they actually get bigger?

She goes now they're bigger And he's like holy shit holy shit cuz that work for noses So then we go times like all confused about milk production It's kind of all just like what so then we go to villa Rosa Hinky and pinky and Schwartz is coming over and he's like oh, hey, Hinky. Hey, Pinky you guys good Yeah, I'm good to what's your business plan? You guys have a vision So he's like highly, sir. I'm just here to pick up you know circle circle is a square

It's a thing that you pick up like oh Is it a is it a plate is it is a salsa? No, it's a It's a thing that you pick up. It's like, is it a plate? Is it a saucer? No, is it a swimming pool? You want a swimming pool? Okay, I don't know. 30 seconds left. Come on, bonus round. We can do this. Oh, it's got it's round. You put things on it. You serve with it. It's a platter. It's a platter that you serve with. Oh, rocio. No.

Huh. Lazy panda. Is it a lazy panda? Is what you call those things in the center of the table? No. It's like one of those things that they put all the appetizers on a TGI. 10 seconds. 10 seconds.

I don't have anything like a TGI Friday ridiculous. Get out of this house. I give a ball to my brother. A serving platter. I don't have anything like a TGI Friday that you ridiculous get out of this house. I give a ball to my sister serving platter. She's like darling. It's gonna be difficult to be a restaurant owner when you don't even know what serving platters are. And yet you've given him one. Oh, Ronnie.

So, but I mean, given my life on this. So, give him a hymn, Trump top. So they go into the basement. She's like, here's where I keep all the dead bodies. Kyle, are you down here darling? It's kind of funny. I was like, that was what was going through my mind and I was surprised that she verbalized it and that they put it in there.

So they're in this like crazy cluttered basement, which is kind of funny to see that this was underneath. It's like, this is what I imagine is underneath Disney World, all those tunnels, you know, and We see all these things and Schwartz wanted a sex was he was hoping it'd be like a sexy pink dungeon down there And then almost suddenly you're at least ago You know I like dogs do you know that right? You familiar? Well look it's me in a dog mask. Want to do doggie style with me? Ha ha ha, get it. Cause it's a mask of a dog. I mean, he's like, oh god, now Katie's gonna have to do that for me to get a rouse.

Oh, it's a whole thing. So they go up so there's, yeah, they go back up and she's like, you might need a drink after my canine performance. So they drink and he's like, Vanderpump shot, Ne't know Vanderpump shot nay Vanderpump shot nay that's right I'm now selling that Tee Vanderpump shot nay Me woof woof get it because I was a dog down in the basement darling

Oh look I have a small little vile of pandies tears So he's like wow I've really been feeling things I love panties, tears! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm talking about actually the Birdflew pandemic, which was a long time ago, but still none of them have really worked. So I just wanna send him some money, but I can. He's basically hoping that she's like, Oh, darling, I'll help you, but she's like, well, they're not your responsibility. I mean, family, what is that? Okay, you can help them as soon as you have your business

up and running. Now, would you like me to buy another neon lightfield restaurant? And he's telling us that he's in a different place from Santa Foll because Santa Foll has parents that can invest and he's over here pinching pennies and he's getting in so much debt and it's getting out of control. And he's like, I just don't know what to do.

Well, maybe not like double mortgage your house and maybe not, yeah, go out gambling. Yeah, all the time. Maybe not that's not good. So now we go over to bar method. And it's Charlie, she and Brock and Brock, it's like, I thought I was good, all going to spurt. But I know I tried bar method and it's a mix

between ballet and torture. And they're doing like backwards curls, you know, like where you're holding the weights, but you're doing them behind you. And Charlie's like, it's like a backwards hand job. I'm like, well, glad you could contribute. So then she, you know, shows that she's still got it and can do the splits. And then Charlie's like, I didn't get home until 3 a.m. And there's just a clip of her serving.

And she's like, hi, with everybody might something else. They're like, I didn't get home until 3 a.m. And there's just a clip of her serving. And she's like, Hi, with everybody mind something else. They're like, no, she is okay. Wow, that's a really action-filled split. Wow, yeah, wow. I'm so glad they showed us that because when she said she couldn't didn't get home until 3 in the morning,

I was wondering myself, what does being up late look like? And now I know. So she's- Re-filling waters. Thanks for that insight editors. So that then she knows like, well, so she tells them about Lala and she's like, well, our conversation was like very different. And it felt like the most genuine I've gotten so far and Brock is like, yeah, we're all putting it place. So I'm ready to apologize for being

mean to lower. Yeah. And Charlie's like, yeah, but you guys can't like keep going back and forth. Like, if you're going to be friends, like be friends and she's like, don't worry, I'm like, don't have your back. She's like, yeah, but that is what I worry about because I'm like, now I'm out because you guys are besties, you know, that's the status place to be coming from as a friend. You know, if you really feel like that you need different friends Yes, but and the answer is also yes you will be on the outside again

So child is like um, I can't like imagine having a friendship where I talk shit about someone and then be besties the next day It also makes me believe that like if you do that to someone you'll do it to me I'm like Charlie welcome to Vanderpump bros. Okay, he better get on board and the world and the world. I then brought some assault. The Belmont for oh, sorry, sorry, no jumping on each other. No, it's fine. I really only had a small detail which is that Brock summer salted up to his feet. And that was it. I can do that one. Yeah, suck it, Bob. By, method. So now it's being of a bar, the Belmont. Yeah, some more advertising for Greg. So Ariana and Tom comes and then Katie and Tom come

and Katie, Ariana's like, oh my God, guys, we needed one of these nights. I'm sure it's just like, do we though? Cause now like I have this other storyline where I'm worried about my family. Oh. Yeah. And Brock Showered, I don't know why I wrote that,

but she did. So everyone can. So the whole gang shows up and James tells Brock. He's like, Laura's on the way. Just kidding. Your face. Your face, mate. I was hilarious. And then shorts is like, Laura's on the way, just kidding, your face, your face, mate. There is hilarious.

And then Schwartz is like, yeah, I got a new fetish because I saw Lisa in a dark mask. And Kitty goes, well, apparently my husband's a furry. I guess I have to get into that now. I'm like, please, let's just end this. And like, the only person who ever cares about this stick that Schwartz is in D'Lisa are Schwartz in Lisa. Yeah, so then he pulls Katie aside and he's like, I've been so self-absorbed and selfish lately. You know, I haven't really been good at communicating. She's like, Tom, you still don't even know how to spell your own

name. Come on. And she's like, you just have to get to learn to quit while you're ahead. And then she tells us in this totally, I don't want to say dark, but revealing comment that I'm like, why are we not focusing on this? She goes, yeah, Schwarze's gambling has always been really problematic. I mean, he gambled away the naming rights

to our first child and like, we need to get this under control immediately. And I mean, the naming rights is like a joke because he like gambles it to Randall over Pickleball. But like, if he has like a, he has a gambling problem. And they're just like, yeah, we'll just mention it quietly in one comment

that he has a severe gambling problem and can't mortgage his house. I'm like, yeah, we'll just mention it quietly in one comment that he has a severe gambling problem and Can't mortgage his house. Yeah, like hello. It's really crazy. Yeah, it's really crazy to me how they just skim over this couple every season They really do unless they're like in a huge knockdown dragout fight Do you know that's on camera? They really just pretend everything's peachy and they pass over everything like oh, yeah You know I like Tom out. So he banged down the door. Oh, okay. I'm just like another fun day at Katie and Tom's.

Oh, yeah. Tom went missing. He just got wasted and wound up at a resort like four miles away in Mexico. Yeah. Like, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's always been like that.

It's super weird. So she's, she's giving him shit because he did win money at Randall Spoker. He came home with 900 bucks, but he was already up three and he could have quit, but he just kept going and going. She's like, I just wish you could just say, wow, I've got 300 bucks, I should just quit.

And he's like, come on, that's not gonna change anything. I mean, you gotta let 300 bucks ride. She's like, yeah, but couldn't you have sent that to your brothers? You know, my God. Yeah. Isn't that how much you're saying your brothers need? You know?

It is funny because he is saying how his brothers are, his family is like in such financial straits. And then he's just like, yeah, but what's $500? I mean, it's like, dude, that's a big deal for a lot of people, you know? So, he mobs around and acts like he's such a good person and all of this, but there's that example and then there's the banging down the door

and then there's the, you know, like, I'm really trying to get you pregnant, Bobbuss, so I won't drink or smoke and then cut to him doing drugs, like drugs and getting shit face in every scene since then. And this is actually all- So I'm just like his mopey dopey act is. And this is actually just like his moby dopey act is. And this is all stuff that would actually

be really fascinating to watch, right? Because it's like very real stuff. And I think that this constant like, the Tom's being goofy and silly together, like that, like that had its peak in New Orleans with the C.A. costume. And it's just going in the wrong direction. It's making me have hostile reactions

to like, felt like nice people, right? So that's not right. So then. Yeah, I don't need them to be a cartoon. Like, why are you gray? Why is your skin gray all the time? What kind of drug problems do you have? I want to talk about your gambling problems

and Katie's rage issues, okay? That's a show. Not you in fucking Rose colored sunglasses walking around spelling your name off with markers. If you wanna watch Chromio, we'll watch Chromio videos, okay? So, with this, I just love, because it sounds funny, but it's Chromio. They're just a, they're like a duo,

like a DJ duo or music duo. You'll see, you'll see. Okay, well. So Charlie has a big question, which is, what is everyone's wiki feet profile? Like, because we're going to have a wiki feet moment. Basically, Arianna has a hair. We hear about wiki feet. First, was it this show?

It was on. I saw on another Bravo show where this was like a big storyline that they were doing the wiki feet or whatever. So they wanted she wants she's talking about wiki feet and how it means a lot to her. You know a lot of goes into it like good toes, good arch. It's like a pageant but for toes. I feel like for some reason it was like summer house. Like I can imagine Lindsey being like, Oh, that's my wiki feed the score. Is my wiki need score better? Uh, so yeah, so they're like just talking about it. And they're basically like,

oh, we'll raise money for Rick Hell's nose by selling pictures of her feet. It'll be toes for nose. Tows for nose. Yeah, see, I do know what I'm doing. And then it cuts to Logan at the bar just doing the Macarena by himself. Living his best life or sweet. Yeah. And then, um,

in comes La La and Brock's like, she's here. All right. Now, listen, I'm going to apologize and follow her to my party and see if she wants to wear a little tiny kiff teen. I'll make that a bit. She wants to wear a little tiny keftan I'll make that a bit cheaper. A lot of there. I just want to say a poor draw is to you and as a piece of ring, look I made the Mastic Heart logo by cutting out T-Circus from my old T-shirt.

You want to hold it? There you go. She's like a little dress for your hand. Hmm. She's like, well you're apologizing so I guess we're off to a good start. And he's like, well I wasn't over the situation and I guess we're off to a good start. And he's like, well, I wasn't over the situation. And I wasn't ready to move on at that moment. No, I apologize.

And she's, you know what, I got that. I get that you have Sheena's back. And you know what, it was probably just bad timing on my part. So look, let Sheena better you up and onward and upward. Right. Yeah. And she's like, I'm sick of defending myself.

And I got a one-broad time to defend himself. He's all right. Well, near the end with friends, you want to come to my birthday, we're gonna go font down a deer and eat it with our bare mouths. And hands, bare hands, open mouths. You know what I'm saying?

So they're like besties now. So then Charlie goes to talk to SantaVal and ask him about his week. And he's talking about the restaurant stuff and she's like Well, I went to bar method with she and Brock and he they told me like that Brock went off on Lala And he's like, yeah, you know what Lala's like picking fights like she says she's not getting invited But like we don't know what you're gonna do Lala like that's why that wasn't inviting you like boom there's Lala right behind him and um she's like um hey I just want to make sure we're good Charlie and she's like yeah well

so like me not inviting you wasn't because I just liked you although that's a true point too it was specifically because you and she you know we're going back and forth and like not knowing what I'm gonna get in that conversation. So like I just had to play it safe because it was like an intimate moment, you know me trying enchiladas, you know? Yeah, well, that's great. So I got it. Makes sense. We're good. And then Santa Claus like, but Lala like all these fights are fights that you've picked, right? Because like you started talking shit about Ariana. When we were at least as started talking shit about Ariana.

When we were at least says you said shit about Brock. I'm like he's already too angry. Yeah. Okay, Tom. And she's like, this, yeah, there's no reason for this, buddy. And she's like, um, we dealt with this. Are we really getting on the hamster wheel again? Oh my God, dude, that's a great idea.

Hey, shorts, hamster wheel and the future fantasy Tasia Vubar. Okay, all right, back to you. Listen, I'm nailed it. I'm just bringing up examples, Lala. She's like, but why? Because I want you to grow Lala. I want you to do something that no one on this show has ever been able to do. Grow! And then she starts the UR fighting. She's like, well, I want you to grow. He's like, but I want you to grow, but I want you to grow, but I want you to grow, but I want you to grow. I was like, Oh God, it's here we are. It's the you are fight.

So he's like, listen, I want you to stop picking fights and then, you know, be like, ah, you're the victim. She goes, it's called retaliation. He goes, yeah, we're the ones retaliating against you. And then he says that she's basically lighting fuses and then playing the victim when things explode. And she goes, um, out of everyone in the world, I'm going to pick you to tell me to do better.

And then she says, the only thing growing on sand of all is his heinous mustache and pre-beast and little boy go, boy, that little boy's get. Yeah. And he's like, I'll listen, I'm just giving a fucking stroke, please stop. Please stop, cause you're doing math, that's a little bit too complicated for me, okay? Okay, so, I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again.

I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna, there's more of them. Oh my God, I'm gonna have a fucking stroke. Please stop. Please stop, because you're doing math

that's a little bit too complicated for me, okay? And that's the end of the episode. The end's on a very mathy note. So that was that. I guess we'll see what happens next week. I don't even remember the previews for next week, to be honest, but I guess we'll see. It's like, Brock's birthday, I guess.

I don't remember, we'll just encounter it. Oh, actually it's not on. It's Brock's birthday, it's Brock's birthday and all the friends, all of his Aussie friends are there and they're total pigs, like grabbing butts and stuff and she's like, and Charlie's like, you still have to protect me when you're my friend, Jean, that's right.

But Vandiprom Brools is actually not on next week. Bravo is gonna be showing like a special airing of the Girls Trip premiere. So we don't have Vandiprom Brools next week, but like we said before, next week we'll have like double Girls Trip recaps and then we'll be back to talk more Vandiprom Brools in two weeks, but until then definitely

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