Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Attack of the Wormstache Part Two

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* It's Part Two of the Part One Vanderpump Rules Finale Recap! Will Raquel be let out of her trailer? Will Schwartz betray Sandy? Will Lisa Vanderpump stick up for terrible men because they bring her profit? Let's find out! This week's premium bonus is a recap of Below Deck Sailing Yacht. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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you know, the whole spiel, darling, we haven't even been gone that long. It's part two. So you know what, I think I'm just going to save you from all the trouble of having to listen to all of that again. So let's just introduce my hot little partner, Mr. Ben Mandelker, get over here, Ben. Hi, hi, we're back. We're back. This is part two, we're not gonna do the whole spiel. That's why you get to skip that this time.

No, no, no. Come to our tour to watch itcrapins.com. This is also on video on Crappens on demand. Hallur, hi everybody. Wow, Ben, how was your break? It was great, I had a bagel. I had a much needed bagel. Good.

Well, while you did some Buddhist production on the previous episode, yeah, that episode, we were, it was going so long. And then we, like I think we must have both looked at our, the vacuuming start happening upstairs, we looked at the notes and it's like, oh my God, there's still so much more happening here. Yeah, like my favorite song in the film, The Color Purple.

God is trying to tell you something. And that was the vacuum lady knocking on the door. So guess what, we took a break. I changed my shirt. I put on some fresh lip gloss, cleaned out some of my bookers. I mean, it was a great time for me. How about you? Yeah, I mean, I had the bagel and we're just back.

And just like the last episode, Retail is 100 yards away from us in a trailer and she is observing, she's observing our video recap. So, this goes on, I love, like I said before, seeing Ritell and a trailer. Hope that is her life from now on as her penance. And Tom is turning into old man,

Tom so quickly on this show. He's doing a lot of dirty looks, but they're not like it's fun. Like, it's kind of funny. It's like his, he gets that frown on his face and he just like his neck veins pop out and he's really turning into like a low rent Clint Eastwood angry man on the lawn, get off my lawn type of character.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah, he's in front of that trailer and just like, get off my trailer lawn. I feel like he's looking, is the actor Bruce Davidson? No, it's not Bruce Davidson. Definitely not Bruce Davidson. Who if there's this one actor, he's been in like a million things.

So he's turning into that actor. So for everyone who gets that reference. Bob Ballabam. That one actor. He's turning into Bob Ballaban? That one actor. He's trying to get the Bob Ballaban. How dare you? No, but he's just starting to look like someone for anyone who lives in LA, they know this type.

The person who goes to the rainbow, it's not called the rainbow room, it's like that rainbow bar on Sunset's drip, dresses like 1988, holds on to their youth and just gets a caboiner whenever guns and roses come on. Like that's what he is transforming into. And then like air guitars and like you know like mouths all the words. Well they do. People who could not adjust when the Grunge Revolution pushed out all the hair bands. That's who goes to the rainbow room and that's kind of like Tom.

So isn't the rainbow room in New York City? That's not the camera. Yeah, the rainbow room is a is on is actually thinking 30 rock. But I think you know the rainbow or the rainbow bar or something like that. I don't know whatever it's called on. Yeah, the rainbow room is like, fly me to the moon. And let me play among the stars. I went to the rainbow room only once in my life. We actually went there on Christmas because even though I'm Jewish, my grandma, Sylvia was born on Christmas. So we celebrated her birthday at the rainbow room and Andrea Mitchell, the newscaster, read, was the night before Christmas and I was so star struck. I was like, Andrea Mitchell is here. Wow. You see, did you like your orchestrated

Andrea Mitchell story? That's my favorite kind of Ben story. A story that sounds like it's going somewhere really exciting. Like you saw Andrea Mitchell making out with a lady or something. But instead you're like, guess what? I saw Andrea Mitchell.

That was so excited. No, the exciting part was that I was so thrilled about Andrea Mitchell as a little child. And I was wearing a little red vest. And I mean, it should have been very obvious I was gay right then, right? I don't know. I don't know if an egg getting excited

about Andrea Mitchell is a gay thing. Say, I feel like... Andrea Mitchell. No, she's not a gay icon. It looks like a smart person thing. But she's not a gay icon, but I think if there's a little boy who is getting excited to see a wasp blonde newscaster type, that's a pretty gay thing to do. Well, listen, I'm certainly not going to take away that that was a gay thing to do with

you. That I was in a red vest. Yeah, okay. It was a gay thing. Okay, it was a gay thing. Okay, it was a gay thing. All right, so let's get back into it. Where were we? I literally don't even know.

Well, I can tell you, Andy Cohen, something is just, I don't know, I have no idea where we left off, but I can tell you where we are, which is that Andy says, Tom and Katie, where does your relationship stand today? Because we're still in the Tom and Katie divorce cycle. Oh, wait, well, first, okay, let's start with this. How about this?

Let's compromise, because there's a couple of lines we didn't get in here and God knows. Sure. Sure, forget a line. So Andy just does the, you guys are all trash. So what's the difference? And he says, Lala, you and James had sex despite being in relationships with other people.

No one in this group has our hands clean except Katie, right? So that's kind of where we are. And Lala does her. None of us was fucking our best friends, man. And he's like, okay, so Katie, where do you at Tom's stand? This is what Ben tried to do, but I wouldn't let him earlier because I was confused.

Ben and Katie, where does your relationship stand? Katie, you told him you don't want to be friends. And she's like, well, for friendships, you really need to have honesty and respect, and you need to hate all the fucking same people I do, or I'm icing you out. So. So technically what she really said is

she needs honesty and respect and loyalty and integrity, and then Schwartz goes, oh, so if I don't abide by all your terms, we can't be friends. And in my mind, I'm like, our honesty, respect, loyalty and integrity, that difficult to abide. That's hard. That's hard.

It's like that is so hard, honesty and respect. What even is integrity? This is how I was ridiculous. What about my terms? Like what are your terms, showering three times a month? Hey, don't come to me. Okay. So then James comes in. Well, Lala is like, okay, it's called setting a boundaries. And if you can't respect the boundaries, then you have to do what the consequence is. You manage to step off the

current batch. And then James is like, your man, she's a woman. Oh, that's the least you could do out of respect for her because you're a man, she's a woman. I don't know what the fuck that's even supposed to mean, but then Schwartz is like, that sexist. And he's like, that's not sexist. And Sandra was like, it is actually, bro. I don't think any of the three of you are really

wants to define what sexist are. Like, we're not starting to bring it to you. I'm more team James today. But we're not turning to Vanoprompural. We're not turning to Tom and Tom or James. We're not turning to Vanoprompural's, we're probably not even turning to Bravo to get lessons on sexism.

This whole cast lit, well, all the women in this cast literally had to stop wearing boob tape like two years ago just to go to work to keep their little tiny cloth on their body, okay? This show is all sexism. Yeah. So Andy's like, so, top Schwartz, want to ask you about Joe? Was that like your girlfriend or something like that? And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no.

Joe wasn't my girlfriend, but I mean, we're roommates, but it did evolve into a situation ship. Friends with benefits, fuck buddies, knocking, knocking private parts, putting the smudge on the fudge, you know what I'm saying? I'm going to throw some. One in the pink, one in the stink, know what I'm saying. It's like whoa

Enough, that is actually enough. Thank you So he asked about Joe and he's like we were each other's happy place and Katie goes um Joe is a Creep and he goes oh Katie don't talk about Joe like that. Just, yes, she is. Nobody likes Joe. Nobody likes Joe. And he's like, so, and you know what else? You're gonna get a cease and desist if you keep attacking Joe in comments too. This is the most, the shorts has ever

stuck up for anybody. Stuck up for anybody. Yeah, by the way, yeah, this is the most you've ever had. And by the way, I'd like Katie, who just went on this whole thing about like, all I said was just like, don't make out with someone in the friend group. Otherwise, it's fine.

Ew, no one likes Joe. I can't believe you do, Joe, you hook up with Joe, ew, she's a creep, she's spooky. That dirty slut. Yeah, so now we see her comment on Instagram that says, and by the way, Katie's picture is her and her stupid fucking wicker, Bore.

I can't with that Bore, okay? So she's like, Jo is spooky. I mean, none of us can stand to be around her. Her energy is on par with a crackhead. She's a psycho and I will also lighter on fire with Rachel. I'm like, damn, Katie. And so Katie's like, I can say whatever I want to. And he goes, you're just a little hermit. You're just a little damn, Katie. And so Katie's like, I can say whatever I want to. And he goes, you're just a little hermit.

You're just a little troll, Katie. And then James goes, that's mean. That is so mean to say to Katie, a woman. Yeah, that's mean, but Katie calling a woman a creep in a psycho and saying she's gonna light her on fire is fine. It's like not even on the show. The girls like not even on the show

and Katie's like being so mean. And then I love James saying like that is mean How could you say that to Katie okay? Let's roll the footage of you stupid fat crack Crack your fat cow at ride get out of gay prod you're more like gay fat get out here So that yeah exactly so and he's like, so was this girlfriend Jo and your friend group? And she's like, by proxy, because she was like a best friend with Kristen Doty.

So, I mean, they're really together like literally every day. And then guess what? She blocked Kristen's number, the day she hung out with Santa Valk. Really? Do you think it was because Kristen was texting her over and over? Are you looking at what's that about? I'm going to go in with you. Are you seriously gonna fucking pick your ass?

Seriously? Mariposa? Seriously? She's done to text for every seriously. Seriously? Okay, go on. All right, so hey, did you guys go on double dates? You know, Joe and Schwartz, Santa Vaughn, Raquel, and Katie's like,

the Schwartz's like, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. And Katie's like, you guys went to Big Bear together. Yeah, Mama was like, bullshit. You know, they're all booing them. Ew.

It's your turn. It's like, listen, it wasn't a double date. Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, wake up Tom, come back to me Tom. Tom, follow wake up Tom come back to me Tom Tom follow the light Tom no don't follow the light follow this light don't follow the white light follow the pink light Tommy you there follow my flashlight Tom Tom cuz Tom's just doing his disbanded thing is like I can't take anymore

And he goes no it was not a double date And he goes, no, it was not a double date. He's like, tell them I went snowboarding with sand of a high need of witness. And Ariana's like, oh really? Then if it was just like a guy's tripped and why was I invited to this whole thing? Why was I? Well, because she's like, I snowboard.

So if it was just about snowboarding, why wasn't I invited, right? So this happened in January, when this snowboarding trip happened in January and There's like no it wasn't a double date and then James is like oh really but I can't hate snowboyin Okay, do you saw that pageant footage of her that wasn't a snowball that was a surfboard you idiots? She hates snowboarding. She just went there to Fox Sandivall and Lola goes yeah She just spent snowboarding to like ride SantaVall's dead.

She's just there to suck his dick. And James is like, be on his creepers, creeps, boo! I mean, they always do that for a split time. You old people snowboarding, stupid fuck, what are you old boarding, senior citizens, creeps, two old snowboards. Stupid fucking what are you old boarding senior citizens creeps to all the snowboard Bust together This is a ripped-beam going to a fat food Katie got shame

Doing the game with drones think did you see that you see that clip that went viral earlier this week of somebody going in front of shorts and sandies, dressed like that, none, going, shame! Oh, that's amazing. Shame! DONG! Okay, we're gonna take a break while these people get this off their chest.

They were like Red Sox fans seeing a Yankee at this ad like, Fenway. Oh Yankee Sox Yankee Sox. So Andy was like, okay, we're back. Still getting booed. A lot of boo words out today and Santa Vell actually has fucked a boo bird. Amazing.

So I got a lot of questions about shorts and sandies. Original name, the money pit. When you threw your first party, how far away from the opening did you think you were? Like when did you guys think we're gonna open? Well, you know the season ends in August, so you know, that's always the goal, but you know, I mean, it ended up being like November 2nd and every time they cut to short to James by the way He's just staring at himself in the monitor going Yeah, um Pouty. Ooh squinty and Pouty. God you're gorgeous

So yeah, they they ended up opening November 2nd and Andy's like, you know It seemed like the food was holding you up because you know you were waiting for line cuts and you couldn't figure out the lobster Dogs I mean to me why not open the bar and serve minimal food? And Santa was like, I would have loved to do that. I would have loved to, but unfortunately, Ariana was not sleeping with me at all during that time, which forced everybody to not serve a lobster cornbong on time. You know, I was like, I wanted to tell Greg, we have to open this up.

Like, who cares about the food, but he just had like, there's like a lot going on with him and I just didn't want to add more to it. So, but now the food is on track and Lala's like, actually, the food's really good. Okay, it's like good food. So, like, how are you coming from? Lala just decides to drop her sword for a minute. She's like, a lobster corn dog. I know, fat.

Lala suddenly becomes frickin' Ruth Reichel over there. So, like, Walla comes and fights hard and then when she's not in the ring, she's like, whatever, love your food. I'll still take this count, dang. She starts wearing a little green bucket hat, like, like, gale green on top chef masters, RIP. So Lisa Vanderpump is like, well, they didn't know what they were doing.

And you know what? Why should they know what they're doing? They've only turned their nose a bit years of great. Do you know what? They haven't done it before. And I didn't like when Tom said, oh, I don't need Lisa Vanderpump. I still own your soul, sir. You will need me for the rest of your life and for eternity. I haven't had a fight with Triton yet. Triton hasn't beaten me on this one yet, Sucker.

Listen, you give me your soul and in return you will get an edible cone dog. Yeah, tentacles coming out. You think you can destroy me by poking a ship into my stomach. You're sadly mistaken. So then we see the clip of Santa Volving. For once in our lives, we're like really happy to not me, Lisa Vanderpump's opinion, or whatever the fuck he said.

Yeah, really smart business move. OK, so you went away from taking 5% of a restaurant for literally doing nothing, but showing up and taking shots with pretty girls all night. Okay, it's like your job with Lisa and Panda from to putting your taking second mortgages on your homes, you fucking morons to get into debt for someone where you don't own the restaurant, the mortgage

or the liquor license. Idiots. You fucking idiots. I hope you keep that trailer outside. I hope you keep it. Both good. And a small update on that front. There is an interview in the LA Times

with Ariana and Katie and the LA Times did ask them, like, what's the deal with your house? Like, are you guys gonna lose your house? Or how do you get, you know, all the complications. And they said they both used business managers and when they set up the, when they bought the house and set it all up, they set it up in a way that both women would be protected

if things went down with the bar, et cetera. Hopefully the best manager did things for long. Wow. But that is the update. We've been taking a long time, like, for a long time, like, oh my God, like this bar goes down, like Ariana's money is tied and Katie's money's tied in it, but apparently they anticipated that and they have taken measures

to make sure they are protected, at least according to their business. But what measures do you take to protect yourself from a mortgage being taken out on your home? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. But also maybe when they said we took a mortgage out on our home, maybe they were being over but also maybe when they said we took a mortgage out on our home Maybe they were maybe they were being over dramatic

Maybe it was like they took a maybe they got since from home credit I don't understand this is a world that I don't like I do not They took like a loan against the home or something and Arianna said it was all Tom like it was because LVP asked her about it and I was like darling no please don't do it And she was like, I'm protected. So I hope they are. I mean, that's very, very smart for a reality TV cast member to think that far ahead.

So well done, you too. Yeah. Well, you know, the good news is that Raquel also has protected herself. So if she is going to, I was gonna try to say something about like a lollipop and I lost my train of thought and I'm just gonna move forward. But like, that's just, in my mind, I was like, long day. I was like, we're out of the mortgage out on a lollipop and I was like, Ben, stop talking.

Yeah, I hope Raquel protected herself because these rumors about Raquel being pregnant better be wrong. Okay, I'm sick of reading these all over the internet. I think it's kind of gross. I can't even believe I brought it up because I think it's really gross. Better not be true. You better be protecting yourself. Also, way to date somebody who's already mortgage to the,

I mean, you just so cast a camp with anybody on this show. So, Lisa Vanderpump's pissed, right? So she's like, I've done everything. I gave you 5% of Tom Tom to help you start. And Andy goes, I mean 5% of Tom Tom, like, blah, blah, blah, who cares? There's $50,000.

That's a lot for these two idiots. Think about all the neon lights they could buy with that money, but I gave it back. I gave it back because they needed the money. I gave back their money, but not their source. Yeah, so this is interesting. So she's like, listen, this place costs $50 million to open. And these idiots only had to give me 50 grand each

and I gave them their money back. So that's bullshit. And they still maintain their 5% in Tom Tomer, with I think I'm assuming. And she's like, you know, and I know this is a shit show, but I've always been on this side and this isn't an easy place to be. And you know what I agree,

she's making an ass out of herself, defending you idiots on this show. And you're acting like that, you better be more grateful. This woman's ruining her entire reputation to stand up for your stupid ass and your stupid behavior. You at least better be grateful. Yeah. So then Tom Schwartz says that the business at first took a hit because there were all those negative reviews,

but it's rebounded, and now it's all love again. You go in there and everyone's just full of love. And Ariana, and so the question is, hey, Ariana, are you like, how do you feel about those restaurants or people going? And she's like, well, they can go there. They just better not fucking talk to me ever again. And if they do talk to me, I certainly hope they would be saving money by using mint mobile.

And Mala's like, on the tip line, people are writing, like, tip the at-team area on it. There's your tip. Okay, that is so tacky, fans. Please don't do that. So you're going to fuck over some waiter and say, team area on it. You're just a your tip. Okay, that is so tacky, fans. Please don't do that. So you're gonna fuck over some waiter and say, team Ariana, you're just a cheap ass. Okay? At that point. Now, the writing on the mirrors, team Ariana and fuck Tom love that. Right. Worth that. Love that. Love that, like lipstick graffiti. Yeah. Because I feel like shorts has to go in there and clean that up. Yeah. But don't take it out on the waiters. Take

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Zipper Cruder, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronny. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff. And guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's going to be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible

beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat! Plant meat! Correct! So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today, just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef, or patties, and get grilling. Hey, I got a question, Ariana. You said you would cut off anyone who maintains a relationship with Sandevol, so will you cut off Lisa if she doesn't cut off business with the thumbs? And she's like, well, we just won't be as close.

And then, and he's like, okay, cool, now moving on. Like a lot of girls, you want to go there? And Lisa's like, hold on one second. One second, what excuse me? Yeah, that's cold. And LVP is like, hold on, what do you expect me to do? Do you expect me to, what? Not stand up for a meal?

And Mary Ann is like, I don't expect anything from you. She's like, well, I've been there for you. Confiding all those times I've bussed you in it and villa Rosa. How dare you. You have petted my tiny little donkey horses. And I let you go upstairs and villa, upstairs, not just the boy or the sofa. You've seen the closet, the closet. So the Ariana realises, Ariana just starts to backpedal because she's like, whoa, maybe I went too far. So she's like, this woman did find me my lease

for my sandwich shop. Like, there's that too. She's like, no, I'm just saying I'll have a hard time confiding and he's like, so you think like she should stop doing business with them and she goes, I think she knows what's best for her. And it's what's that you dare say that against me, I'll have Nicolay knock you over with a pendulum. Well, if it comes at the cost of friendships and royalties, I would like to know, you

stand on that. Will you be getting discounted Gucci's empanada? That's a happy hour or not. And Ariana's like, um, well, when it comes to like loving you, I mean, I'm always gonna love and support anything you do. I'm just like not gonna like do it at a place that and he's like, one of you, it's not gonna be one of your stops on Friday. And I'm just like, yes, thank you. Um, But I also like the Ariana state kind of firm and was like, I still love you about like, how much support do you fucking want here, lady?

It's basically like, I'm not gonna come to you about issues with Tom because I don't feel like it's safe, right? So, but either way, like Lisa basically is like, don't you dare. I created you and I will send you back to the mars you came out of. So this goes, well, if these two remain my partner,

I don't want that to affect our relationship. Cup, peace. That's what they say, and Italy don't think. Cup, peace. And Ariana's just doing her sideways look where she's like, um, yeah. Oh. Oh.

Okay, let's talk about that sandwich shop. First question, have you ever made a sandwich before? Just wondering, because the audience see a chef penny making sandwiches, just curious. Yeah. No, and I actually liked that about their business. And I have gone on record, that these two are like,

nah, we don't really make sandwiches or in restaurants and have no interest in doing either of those things. So we're just gonna pay someone else to do it and kind of just listen, be there, like the Tom's every once in a while to say hi and I low over. That's how you do it. Fucking do it. That's easy. Go.

I'll go. I'm planning to go when it opens up because I love a sandwich. I love a sandwich shop. I'm going to go on the record. A real hot take here. Guys, I'm making a bold stand. Get Andrew Mitchell on the phone. The gay's calling Andrew Mitchell.

Gays back. Remember that charming young man and a red red vest. Guess what? He's back and he's going to draw a line in the sand. And that line says, I like a sandwich. I love sandwiches. I know. Start a break the internet. So they talk about their sandwich shop, and actually how smart it was that they sold merch, and Ariana explains that people were saying, hey, how can we support you guys

while your men are being fucking pigs? And they were like, fuck, let's just launch some merch. And so they ended up raising $2,000. $200,000. $200,000. $200,000, that's what I meant. Yeah, $200,000 from selling fucking merch. Wow. And it's just like, it's just like in,

it's like a serif font that says something about her, like dot, dot, dot, that's all it is. It's like, yeah, it's very simple. How great. Yeah, literally not a criticism. It's like, I love it. Yeah. Literally not a criticism. It's like, I love it. They just will make this and make $200,000 off of it. Fuck you, Tom.

Oh, yeah. And they sure did it. So, um, let's see. Ariana's like, right, whenever it comes to the sandwich shop, I'm like, did I just eat a sandwich? Because I'm exhausted. Like, I can talk about your sandwich shop. Doesn't sound like you're a true sandwich shop fan. Okay, I know. And when I see one, I don't want to talk about your sandwich shop. Doesn't sound like you're a true sandwich shop fan.

Okay, I know and when I see one. I don't wanna talk about a sandwich. I just want it inside of me. If my mouth is open, I wanna sandwich inside of it. Well, Ariana is like, she's like, oh, and by the way, Andy, we have some merch for you. If you wanna replace that trash sweater sweatshirt you got on Watch Your Hop is live.

And we see a shot of Raquel giving Andy this big sparkling sweatshirt I guess which is like the same one that she wore as like a exact is the exact sweatshirt I wore Andy to bravo con on day three it's like fucking cares you fucking weirdo when you were there just following around the most extras the worst fucking cover man I shouldn't even blame the band, because the actual band is good. But Jesus, every time I see a clip of that man singing, every single time, it makes me...

No good. Yeah. No bueno. But then, I love, Rachella gives the sweatshirt to Andy, and he looks at me and goes, it's a triple exhale! He's like all offended. And then Arianna says something like,

oh yeah, I mean, that's not even really a Tom Tom shirt because Santa Claus is like, that's my design. That's my design. And like mocking him for like insisting that he has his own lightning bolt, Tom Tom shirt. Which I think is so, you know, Rikkel, there's so many pathetic parts about this Rikkel stuff. One of them being this lightning bolt thing, that everyone's like, Rekelle, there's so many pathetic parts about this Rekelle stuff. One of them being this lightning bolt thing,

that everyone's like, oh my God, they had lightning bolt matching necklaces. Then to find out she bought her own, that was sad. But also the fact that it's not a Rekelle thing, it's his thing. It's like, I'm a lightning bolt, brah. I'm gonna put it on my own Tom Tom shirt and now I'm gonna wear it around on my own necklace.

And then Rekelle's that much of a follower that she fucked him a few times and got her own $700 Lightning Bolt. Oh, I mean, Strix West. So yeah, so that Andy Alvacen starts defending the sweatshirt. He's like, to be fair, it's a beautiful hoodie. It's a beautiful hoodie. Like, I love seeing the photos of my dog curled up in it. It's his dog bed now. And then James is like, he likes the T-shirt,

the merch that Ariana and Katie made. And he goes, I want that shit. I want it. I'd make it fashionable. Oh, okay. So when James wears things, and then they become like the hottest thing on the runway. Yeah, thanks for your help, James.

Thanks for this rating. He's just patting to the camera. Mm-hmm. I'm like, fashionable. So then Andy changes course. And he's like, okay, so Shino, last year Lala was really hard on you, but this year you became close. And she's, you know what, I think for my kids,

definitely brought us closer because we like understood what we needed out of for friendship. You know what I mean? Because we both have kids, and not like changes a person because you're like, are you a mom? And then if someone's like, no, you're like, oh my god, who even are you? I don't even know you right now. But if someone else is a mom, then they say, yes, I'm a mom.

You go, oh my god, I'm a mom too. And then it's like totally changes your life. It's just like what people do is have things work. Hi. Now, like we're like closer than we've ever been. Like she literally bought the house next next door to me on Palm Springs And then we see footage of Lala moving in she's And then I can't wait till these two hate each other again, and they're stuck in fucking Palm Springs next door

That's what I was thinking. I love it great great plan that they're gonna be teaping each other's trees or cacti and so Hey, I got a question about for Lala so and so hey I got a question about Verlala so or Katie is Lala's friendship with Sheena been an issue for you Katie and she's like um well here's the thing I'm trying really hard not to reverse but yeah but you told me that you don't feel that you get the same level of loyalty from Lala as you give to her whiffs. Did I see that? I'm so sorry. That one's for you, Joe. That one's for you, Joe. I'm such a silly stupid little boy who has a very rational fear

of man eating crock, Nile Crocodiles in Florida. Yeah, so Katie's like, uh, how am I not going to be on this team right now and say this? Because Katie, you know, comes and she tells off shorts all the time, said, we are so done, shorts. We are done. I'm so sick of this fucking different, back shorts. And then what does she do? Cause and cries to shorts about every damn little. He still knows every little thing, you know? So she's like, well, okay, well, I just feel like Lala, if the roles were reversed,

like you wouldn't really be happy with me, like talking to Sheena, like if you were in a fight with her, and Lala goes, yeah, but I went to Sheena's sweatings, and like I also aborted it's mission on a lot of other things after that kiss happened, and all of our kids are why we created this friendship. We did it for the cats. And Katie's like, um, and I understand that. I just, oh, God. I've been law goes, law goes, God, it's like we're dating and she goes, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

My God, you guys are just, you're staying in it for the kids. That's so funny. And Katie's like, well, I mean, it's just like in the past when you've had issues with Sheena, you've said like if anyone talks to her, you're like dead to me. So you know, it would have been a different story. That, you guys all do that.

Lala does that. Katie does that. So Andy's like, Shina, you feel differently about, do you feel differently now about encouraging Rakel to hook up with shorts now that you know? And she was like, oh my god, thank you so much for giving me a chance to cry because I'm a mum now. And it's really important that mom show feelings. A million percent. Okay, like, watching back, like, Kennedy's perspective, even though it's like a front-deep perspective, it's still like a okay perspective, and like,

I'm getting like, I was getting such a different perspective and different story from like, like, Recal, and like, I just, I wish I had more empathy for her in that moment, which is shocking because I have like a lot of empathy for people because I'm like a people pleaser. And I just like, if it means that I have a bad time, then I will do it because that's how I am. Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv what my perspective was. Yeah, but like the whole summer, everything that I heard from Raquel, of like how you were treating her, like that, I like took over everything else.

It's like if you went around a corner and didn't say corner and then suddenly you have meatballs on your shirt, it's like all over. Raquel's perspective was all over my shirt. And James is like, it's Raquel. Raquel blinded you, didn't she? She blinded you. That's what she does. That's what Raquel does.

Mm-hmm. She's tricky. She's a blind dog. And she's like, yeah, I'm 100 percent. I was totally blinded by Rick Hale. Also, Katie's been miserable and mean to you for years, like literally years. Like why don't you just mention that? Like you have reason to try and send somebody up to piss Katie off. Okay, just cop to it. So, Santa Valls like, do you not, oh. Do you not believe what Rikkel was saying about Katie? And she's, no, watching it back? No, I mean, Katie's amazing.

Look at her, like she makes sandwiches. Kids love sandwiches. I have kids. There you go. Yeah, I let what Rikkel tell me, like what Rikkel told me, I took it as ba-bao. What was that? Ma, what was that? Was that Are you saying Bible? Yeah

It took me back to a place where I've been bullied by Katie and by Lala in his entire group It was like the worst part of the bubble. I was like, K and an hour, and like I was able. And that's Bob. So she's like, yeah, it took me back to a place where I had been bullied by lady and a lot of a lot and Katie and this group so it's like, could finally you got it out. So then we see clips of that where Katie's like, could finally you got it out. So then we see clips of that where Katie's like, um, I know, translate.

And then, and then, and then, and then Lala being like, you shut up, stop. And so then we cut back and Lala's like, oh my ex,

oh, she's like, I'm, I just like, saw it recalculating, but like, I got the way that and I'm just like, I need to protect her, Cal, it all costs and log is, can I say something's the word bully? Like, we're not in pre-kicks in here. Okay. This is fucking bravo. Okay.

You can still bully people on bravo. The fuck does that mean? It's not bullying. If you're on TV, bullshit. You are a bully sometimes and so is Katie sometimes. It's just how it is. Guess what? I'm a bully 80% of the time and I fucking love it. It's my turn to be a fucking bully and I feel great. I'm about to say that I feel like we are two podcasters who say that who often denounce people for overusing the term bully. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It definitely, definitely.

Little like this show is about bullying. Like watch the series premiere, watch every single season. That's people gather around the TV to watch everyone bully someone and then get mad at the bullies. And then you shuffle the deck, and then next year,

it's just different bullies and different victims. Yes, this show is built on bullying. And guess what, Lala, you were also bullied horribly when you first came on this show and slut shamed and everything else. So yeah, people do get bullied on this show and you were one of the people who got bullied and you've also turned into kind of a bully.

You know, it's a circle of bullying life. Isn't it fun? It's fun. It's not a good place. Bollying is not an age thing. Like you're a bully and Lala goes, please fuck off, Mr. I fuck my friends. I fuck my friends, I'm like a girlfriend, fuck.

And so no one's like, you are a bully, though. What is it? What is it? Me making a mistake, is that a get out of Joe Hardee, everything? She goes, no, it's called, I don't give a fucks what you have to say, because I know that you're a piece of shit. You've always triggered to me and said it she, and now I know why. Now throw it she and now I know why. Now I know why.

Now I know why. You're both pieces of shit and I always knew it. And Santa was like, okay, well, you know what? You use Rikail as like a scapegoat this season. And as I said, no, no, I'm looking at Rikail and I'm saying, I sniffed you a mile away. The second you stepped in here, I knew you were a cable of this shit. You moved like a snake, okay?

Okay, and then Raquel is law. And who literally fucked Raquel's boyfriend? That's true, too. He cut my- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha So funny. So then, sorry, cut off your cut to Raquel. No, no, the screen. All it was was Raquel watching you're going, yeah. Trying to figure this all out. So then Santa Claus was like,

you know what, takes one to no one, I guess. Snake, that is, I was referring to you saying the thing about this. One, one, you're one. You're one with a mustache, worm, stash. One, one, you're little worm. You're a worm with a mustache, worm, stash, worm, worm. You're little worm, worm, you live 40-year-old cocky cock sweats you are. Little dinky, little dinky.

I took it as bubble. I took it as bubble. So, bye, mom. Lala, hello everybody. And thank you for coming to church in Palm Springs. Please open your... Hello, welcome to Bubble Study in Palm Springs. Please welcome my new next-door neighbor, Lala.

Lala, welcome to Pomp Sying's Babel Study. I'm gonna bubble, I'm gonna. Go to Babel Study and Pomp Sying. I got somebody bring me a bubble. Some rings are like a bubble. Lala brought her bubble to Babel Study and Pomp Sying's. Why does somebody bring me T with gummy bears on it? I said I wanted a bubble.

So I got my boughs. What kind of bears they have in Pomp Sying's circle with gummyummy Bows. Uh, uh. Ugh. Stream and just like that season 2 starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, so, um, anyway, Lala's like, yeah, she's a snake, you mean like a snitch? And Sandiv has like takes one to know when I get. And James screams warm a lot, and Lala's like, you have that boss to say a count abilities,

Katie, show you that boss to say accountability, Katie. She left more cadets. And James is like, Ba-ba-fuck you old man. I'm taking accountability. You're not. You're not Lala. You're not taking accountability. And she's like, for what?

What's did I do? What? And so, I'm all goes, I fart Mozart, everybody. I fart Mozart. That fart Mozart that's blah for you and she's like And then LVP is like blah blah Sometimes you are pretty aggressive aren't you darling and check. Oh stop sticking up for Tom's and James Like you're sticking up for him too much and not like yeah

You gotta start and then they that whole side is like, shut up Lisa, shut the fuck up Lisa. And man, I was with them. I was shut up Lisa. Lisa's thinking the wrong, she's like public defender, Lisa Vanderpump is losing this case. And is Lisa right? Is Lisa right? Can we just be honest?

Of course, Lala is aggressive sometimes. Who cares? Right now, she is justifiably aggressive. And the audience wants her to be aggressive. Let her, like, you do the ball, you don't go to a rodeo and get mad at a bowl for running at something red, okay? You are there on par, and you bought the bowl. You literally bought the bowl.

Why are you yelling at the bowl? rodeo, baby. Sandeball did something that has really hurt this entire group and they are allowed to be angry and aggressive. It's okay, quote unquote, angry and aggressive. He's like, well, I'm not sticking up for Tom. I'm just saying he's a poor little lady and he's in so boopie boopie go to his bars,

but I'm not sending up for him. I'm not sticking up for Tom. It's just that he's so adorable. And you can meet him one night at Tomtop if you're lucky You'll be there with a mustache and little something called a belly button as a buzz button. He's a buzz button We'll be handing out jixie cups at the door for five dollars a piece And he put them up to his cheek and capture his tears to take home as a souvenir a piece and he put them up to his cheek and capture his tears to take home as a souvenir. Oh yeah. So they're like, shut up Lisa basically. And then James is like, I'm walking off now. I've need my third line of coke for the day. Cause I love that he never walks to his dressing

room. He walks straight to the bathroom. It's like he's not even trying to hide it. He's like already pulling out the little tiny cutout straw from the front of his shirt. You know what I'm saying? Oh, be reasonable right, because Tom Sandibos, like she's not sticking up from me. She is being reasonable. I'm reasonable, but this is it. He walks off and Andy's like,

James said, dude, can anybody believe this? Who was crazy? Oh my god. Oh my god. Shit. I dropped my cards again. Oh man. That's not fair. I just custom Raquel and the trailer going, oh my god. Yeah, next time is Raquel. Now I have to say, you know, this sucks because because because because because because of the wonderful things he does Because Rick hell filed that stupid bullshit restraining order against Shina now they have to be a hundred yards apart

But the person that Shina really needs to yell at is Raquel which obviously is why Raquel did it right so she could get out of getting yelled at for half through you, me, at least. But it sucks because now she and I hardly had anything to say, I'm a mom and I love getting out. And it sucks. Like I want to see Shina be pissed and sobbing and screaming and pointing one of her really long poopy nails at somebody. So I want to see and I don't get to see it. I feel like Vickela is fucking robbed me of that and it's not fair.

She Shuu was robbed. But you know what, just as for Shee-choo, love Shee-choo. She's had a, you know, and I also, I would like, you know, as much as the Scandival thing, many more questions, I do hope that in the next two episodes, we do get to have some discussion about that hotel room because that, I feel like, before Scandival,

that felt like the biggest scandal of the past six years on Van and Van Brewer's, the way people got fired up about those hotel rooms. So I really hope that's addressed. Hotel rooms, let's try. That's a sheet where Katie wouldn't give up her hotel room and went to the hotel room fight. Yes, that'd be a good sheen of moment.

There's been a lot of stuff about the reason they when they were on watch what happens live together, the Tom's and they were being real weird. Tom's shorts was being real weird and kept looking at Tom's hand of all for answers when there were all these questions about shorts and Raquel. And he kept basically looking at Tom like trying to blame Tom without really even saying anything. The reason that was also awkward was because Rick Hell was hiding out with them in the hotel room and boning sound of all that whole time.

So when I heard hotel room, I automatically was like, I also hope that... I also hope that... You're talking about Rick Hell, how do you got New York City? Oh, I'm no idiot. Yeah, well I am also hoping that Andy asks Schwartz why he thought it was appropriate for him to take the sushi off of Katie's plate after he just kissed Rachel.

I need the sushi question answer too, you know, because that's one of the most aggressive things that he does, and it's funny the things that people do to out themselves, right? Because Tom Schwartz is even better, I think, than sound of all of pretending. I'm just innocent, little Schwartz. And we've seen as, than sound of all of pretending. I'm just innocent little Schwartz. And we've seen as a mask slip a few times over the years. He's really let it slip, but that was one of the biggest mask slips I've ever seen, was that see-up. When he came in, just took a piece of sushi.

There wasn't his. And then started just be raiding Katie and just being a fucking asshole right at that table. That was one of it. And you can't come back from that, you know? And I think it was the addition of the carb to the scene. Like I've seen you being an asshole, but I've never seen you steal carbs from somebody.

And that is unforgivable, sir. Yeah, it was one of, it was a low point, for sure. But first. Either way, this reunion was, wow, this first hour, I can't even imagine what the next two hours are going to be like, but we'll be covering it all. It's all going to be here on Watch Your Crappens.

We sure love you guys. We will talk to you next time. Thanks for putting up with our double recap. I caught it felt good to take a little break. And that was really fun. We look forward to seeing you all next week. Have a great one. Bye. Bye.

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