Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Bottle Episode

Episode Date: March 28, 2018

The "Vanderpump Rules" trip to Mexico continues. Jax finds out about Scheana's devious plans, Stassi and Kristen fight about sleeptime, and Lala drops an iconic bombshell: she needs a baba. Or bubba? Come listen to our recap of this hilarious episode. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christie Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird! Jess Sayon, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master! Give them hell, Miss Noel! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker! Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? What happens?

What happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com and the Banderblander podcast. And joining me on this lovely Tuesday, we saw him last Tuesday, we're seeing him this Tuesday, we'll probably see him next Tuesday, is Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Prick Spatial podcast.

Hello Ronnie Caram. Hello hello, Ben Madelker. How are you doing? I'm doing so good, you know, I love a Tuesday. I love a Tuesday because it means we get to talk about Vander Pomp rules But this isn't especially important Tuesday for me because I get to start the podcast with an enormous name drop I'm I'm so honored to be dropping this name right now last night I

Decided to post a picture on my Instagram at B side blog Of a strupe waffle. Strupe waffles are of course the most delicious little snack that United Airlines serves and apparently they're available outside the airline. Who knew? So I posted one and I was like this is the best, you know, just a random picture of a strupe waffle. Well, people have been really liking it and I didn't even realize that one of our listeners did. I'm so sorry I don't have your name. I don't have it up right now. One of the listeners did. I'm so sorry. I don't have your name. I don't have it up right now

One of the listeners was like Ben did Countess Luan just like your photo of a strupe waffle I was like what? Why would wait how did the strupe waffle even get on to Countess Luan's radar? So then I did some researching It turns out that Countess Luan has been following me. I didn't even know. It was like, I felt like it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. I was like, this is a dream. I felt a dream come true. Because when I saw the post, I was like, I'm getting tears of my eyes like I'm watching the Oscars, you know, like I'm watching, like you're my sister Penelope Cruz finally

getting her due. I just want to thank everyone. Thank everyone so much for the support for getting me to this place, where Countess the Wayne is not only following me, but she's liking my photos of Strupe Waffles, and I can't believe of all the content that I posted on my Instagram. It's the Strupe Waffle that got her, got her to like something.

Can you believe it girls? Can you believe it girls? It's a waffle. It's a waffle cookie that's been flattened and had caramel squished inside of it. something. Can you believe it girls? Can you believe it girls waffle? It's a waffle cookie that's been flattened and had caramel squished inside of it. Would you believe it girls? You put the strip waffle over cup of coffee and it melts and becomes even more delicious. My spring show for the Luan Cabaret strip waffle, a journey

through strip waffling waffles and caramel and waffle cookies. Would you believe it girls? We got the strip waffle. The giant of son the girls? We got the shrew waffle. The giant of Sony is just flashing her vagina at the shrew waffle and a special guest. Shrew waffle in friends. Please tell me it's not about the shrew waffle. It's about the shrew waffle.

That's the shrew waffle. That thing. Like, because I don't even know what to do. I got a photo of Tom making out with shrew waffle. I Don't know what to do. I got a photo of Tom making out with Drew waffle. I got enough We're drinking all shakeily with our glass and bad Well, I do I don't want to do that It's about to strip waffle. I said I'm gonna produce a credit. I get a strip waffle producer credit But I made shoot waffles all of Ross's Shoot waffles be strong

Money can't buy your strip waffles Tom's caught in a bathroom like swallowing the strip waffle when he thinks he's off mic Let's just have fun as elegant strupe waffles do. The strupe waffle is in the little box calling it a penthouse. I mean, I'm basically like Queen Latifa or a good strupe waffle. Queen Lat strupe waffles. I'm gonna kill all the strupe waffles. This strupe waffle can wrap and host the golden lobes. Um, it's Mrs. Troop waffle

In retrospect, I don't know why I had to marry that strip waffle Why don't I have to do that? I'm gonna kill all of you strip waffle. Oh quiet rides a waffle That rads a waffle. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright.

Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright.

Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright.

Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright's like the runaway bunny. I'll always be there, your mother. The runaway stupe waffle. Remember that book? Anyway, so more important than stupe waffles, less important than countless the win, is the fact that we have some live shows coming up.

We are doing a show in Irvine, California, which is in Orange County. We put up a poll yesterday saying, like, what do you guys want us to cover? Do you want a classic Orange County? Do you want a classy Vendorham Rooals, a classic Real Housewives of New York City? Well, it's only been a day, but the poll results have been pretty conclusive. I'm just going to put it up right now. Yeah, it's pretty conclusive.

Everyone wants a classic Real Housewives of Orange County episode. So that just gonna put it up right now. Yeah, it's pretty conclusive. Everyone wants a classic real house size of Orange County episode. So that's what you're gonna get. Hey, I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm in Orange County in Orange County. Right? Orange County in Irvine.

Yes, I'm very excited for that. That's gonna be a really funny show. And yes, that sounds great. We just texted me. All right, so then let's announce it right now. We're gonna do the naked wasted show. We're going to be a really funny show. And yes, that sounds great. We just texted me. All right. So then let's announce it right now. We're going to do the naked wasted show. We're going to recap the naked wasted party. So yeah, you know, I say all the time on this show, my dream is for Tamara to have a coming back to Satan party like an unbathedism. And she doesn't seem to be willing to do that anytime soon. So it will be fun to watch

Tamara in all her satanic glory in one of her most evil episodes of all time. Yeah, nature wasted. It's truly a dream. We have Gretchen, we have Tamara. I don't know if Lynn Curtin was still around, but we definitely had Gina Kio. So we will have a great, great time with that.

So if you're in Orange County, if you're in San Diego, if you're in Los Angeles, and feel like making a little bit of a drive down to Irvine, go there and we have where it looks like we're going to have some really awesome giveaways that are relevant to our brand. They will not be stru poffles, although never say never. But at this point, you never know. That's how things work. Stru poffle will be calling in a minute like we heard you said stupe waffle would you like a box? Like give me a little stupe waffle moment

yes that's some sort of stupe waffle sponsorship or just stupe waffle swag swag I'm happy don't you mean our stupe waffles you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that?

Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that?

Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that?

Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want to eat that? Don't you want Oh, avoid the chupnoid. Speaking of street waffles, today is cast of pump rules. You can also simmer them over a cup of hot coffee and they will become gooey. Oh, so Vanderpump rules, you know, another just classic episode of the classic season. I mean, this episode gave us so much to look for. It really did. And it opened up with such a profound statement. It's Dossie saying, I will never let her move to Florida. It's a strong opening line. I mean, it's so true. I think that's really what we should all have to be doing. I know if someone had just said that to Luan, we wouldn't be in this mess. As someone who just recently watched the Florida project on United Airlines in the shadow of a stupe waffle box

I have to say I agree with the sentiment don't let them move to Florida. Yes, never And then stasi of course is like when you love somebody you want to do like whatever the AF they have a That jacks of shit jack jacks of your shit. And you know, it's awkward. It's awkward how this show really makes you root for different people every single time. It's like one minute, someone's a monster and the second, you know, the next season,

you're like, oh my god, you're the hero of women everywhere. How did you do that? Yeah, it is really, well that's always been our fascination with Vanderpump rules is how quickly You balance back and forth between who you're rooting for I when I was going back to listening to our very first episode of coverage on Vanderpump rules

We said the same thing then it's like well, I'm rooting for this Sheena girl But now I'm rooting for the Stasi girl, but then I'm like no, she's terrible. So I'm rooting for Sheena again So that's what this shows all about. That's about realizing that You can never really like someone for too long before they become evil It's kind of like those those those pillars and super Mario that you step on them and they slowly descend into lava You can all you they'll they'll support you Momentarily, but if you hang on too long you're burning you're burning to death in the lava Yeah, or like that new Mario that we're playing the Mario Odyssey one, where there's like rolling tomatoes. And when you first enter that world, you're like,

how bad is a tomato? Tomatoes are wonderful. Like they make it to sauce and then it hits you and then melts you. Yeah, like you, you're like, oh look, there's a lovely tomato. I might wanna make a bull in a's. Let me throw my hat at it to say, hey tomato,

I wanna become you. And instead of becoming the tomato, the tomato just explodes and makes a puddle of scaldingly hot tomato sauce that you can only jump in if you become a little fireball. Yes, exactly. So Stasi is basically a rolling tomato in Mario Madison. Thank you very much for going. She's a rolling tomato.

I don't know if I can get on board or being the rolling tomato. I think she's the, I think she's the Cooper that throws frying pans at you. It's, she's, I think she has, she has more malevolence than just like a tomato rolling round. I think the tomato rolling round is either like Shina or Katie, just like, I'm just tomato, just,

ah, you know, like just, I love tomatoes and then it just splats you. Yeah, and I think that you're right that she is that thing throwing the frying pans, because that thing changes itself every year. You know, like updates itself to throw different things. Like, now it's like happier and faster, and it's throwing pans instead of, you know, bowling pins. What did it use to throw?

Well, Cooper Amherst. Cooper Coopers needs to never throw anything. And now all of a sudden they throw fireballs, they throw hammers. You know, they kind of got rid of the hammer brothers and replacing them with coupons that help throw hammers. But yeah, I mean, Stasi's definitely a Cooper

that throws frying pans because it's like, first of all, why are you throwing frying pans at me? Why are you doing that? And how do you have access to these cast iron skillets? And then at the same time, she can be sort of helpful, though, like getting, she can like, she cuts through the cheese. And nothing though like getting she can like she cuts through the cheese and Nothing that she cuts the cheese she cuts through the cheese and that's kind of like saucy too, so I feel like she's definitely a coop by throwing frying pans and Christians just like the big pepdope is mole boiling hot mass around that entire world. It's like

Seriously you fell in me and died again seriously. That's such a helpful So it's like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Anyway, so Stasis with Lala and Lala is clearly the fork in that in that world. I'm a fork. They're talking about how Jack's a shit on every part of their relationship. And then Katie and Kristen sort of like wander up to them because we should mention they're talking this isn't the wake of the big fight at the end of the last episode. So now Stasis and Lala have moved to a different part of this bar and now Kristen and Katie come up And they pretty much just give them notes on their performance like that was really great Well, you said before you guys really commanded the stage there um when no

When you exit maybe next time a little flourish I think that's like that would just add a nice punctuation to what you're saying to jacks like maybe an eye an Eye roll or like a That would really be great, but otherwise great performance. Yeah, I'd agree maybe a pivot Christians like stealing storylines now from other housewives says I can't travel without Kroy Maybe you can pivot okay pivot at the end and he's like that was some real girl power shit, especially now that we're wearing the same outfit. Were they all wearing the same outfit? You know, there was them look like they were.

This girl power thing is really weird. I was like, they're approaching it. They're like, we're all girls, let's wear the same clothes. There's like a vertical carnival tent stripe thing that's happening on Bravo between Summer House and Minipum Rules. Everyone's like, let's wear like a thick blue stripe, thick blue vertical stripe,

but it looks like a circus tent, you know? And so everyone at some point in the show was wearing it. It's never at once. It's just like, I mean, Ariana Ward a few weeks ago, when they went on the date with Adam and Brittany, Ariana was doing the circus tent. Like, the circus tent.

Yeah, the entire age of circus tent skate. Like, all ages circus tent skates. Like everybody's doing it. Everyone's doing it. And then we saw, like, Kristen. Clown ruffles, yeah. Clown ruffles. Clown ruffles are more like a workers thing, I think. They love like a big ruffle around their chests.

They love a slough. She loves a pirate. She loves a pirate once-year-old or pirate ruffle. Yeah. She likes a carnival pirate. Like a stripe and a ruffle. The carnival cruise lines with capy league different. If they could see me now, we're so shit.

You're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, shit, shit. Literally, I don't know why they call this a carnival because it's just a boat full of terrible people. Oh my god, the boat is sinking. You hit it with one of your pants. Seriously, why do you keep going? Yeah, pants. Chris said it's not my fault someone drove the boat into your peto-bizmal ocean. So, um... So, um...

Ladies like, oh my god, Girlpower AF, great. This is my Trip Advice Review review girl power. Okay. Now let's go take off all our clothes and jump in the ocean It's not so like oh my god. Lala you're inducting Katie into being topless in front of her man. This is amazing There was also mention of Kristen being really wasted because she was really wasted She was like stumbling around with her notes She's you know, she was like teetering around and was really wasted. She was like summing around with her notes. She was like teetering around. And Stasi gives a timeline of all of Kristen drinking. And we see all these flashbacks of her drinking on the plane and the lobby, but when they got in the room later on the afternoon, whatever. And my favorite of all the flashbacks is when Kristen opens up the

mini bar and goes, this is a dream mini bar. It's a dream mini bar. My favorite was the two, because you know, we love doing the herky jerky motions. So, Kristen, would she struggling like her shoulders hit your head? And this is kind of the origin story of that. It's like, Kristen just getting so drunk and hitting herself in the face with straws. And I think that's really why she's jerking all the time

when she's talking. This must have started in her teen years where she's just trying to take a sip from a vodka soda, but it's like, she almost loses a mind, you know. I am the king of straw miscoordination. I am the one who is either poking myself in between my nose and my lip with a straw, or I'm the one who is talking to someone

when I go down with a straw, and my tongue is out, I'd be like, French kissing the air because the straw has migrated to the other side of the cup. I'm like, where is this thing? I look down, and I just look like French kissing the air because the straw has like migrated to the other side of the cup I'm like, where is this thing? I look down and I just look like a perv Like a goldfish pervert just like sitting there Stop staring at me boy. I don't know why the straws always go away from my mouth I Don't know either but I it's easy for me to criticize because I have literally thought I'm going blind because I put my smartphone with a straw.

I put a straw in a martini glass and people are like, look it's stupid chin, I'm putting straws in everything idiot. I'm like, I literally do that. I don't want to say in my teeth with vodka. By the way, I want to thank the Detroit audience speaking of straws and stuff like that because what people may not know who listened to the live show that we put up over the weekend in the beginning of the show when we played the Vanderpump Rules theme song. Ron and I did a coordinated Vanderpump Rules entrance where you through straws, I overboard a martini and then sloshed it and then through a purse to the side, you through napkins at the audience, and the audience, we

were really, we did a lot of choreography to make sure that I landed and had to thank the audience for supporting us and receiving it well. Thank you. Yes, that was our first attempt at choreography. We did it. Wait, did it. I think we were more proud of that in the show than anything else from back then.

Yeah, we're like, oh my god, wait, that choreography. Also, our friend Elaine recorded that. Elaine, wherever you are, sent it to us. Oh, I have it. I have it. Sorry. You do. Thanks a lot, Elaine. There's two people in this feed pod.

We can't Elaine. Wait, request for Elaine. I could just text you this. I think because it had to be compressed down into a text it became low resolution So why don't you email can email it to me. Thanks And Ronnie and Ronnie Okay, she also helped us choreograph it and it was her purse that we flung across the room So now James James is opening rear bottles with his teeth.

I was like, I'm a man. I'm a man. Now we know what happened to his dad's mouth. You see, there's times when you don't need to become your father, okay, this is one. You're an American now, we have dental care. Stop opening beers with your teeth. Yeah, I don't see what makes people,

why, what compels people to do that, you know? Like, I already have with my teeth like why would I ever want to empower them even more your teeth are not forever Okay, don't do things like that to them. Yeah, that's someone with Bravo health care right there when people are just like Look what I'm doing taking a Tangerine is a Britney thing. Oh, oh It's in the Britney vena voices, but yeah, I feel like that is just such a Britney thing to do It's like we had a carnival you bought for beer bottles and the first one to get to tap off without their hands Wham! He get to win a piece of fabric from the tent and get turned into a dress

So then Tom Sandivall talking to Jack and he's like, dude Jacks, are you really going to leave? Dude, you know, he's all sad. Crestfallen that Jacks like to do without Jacks are you really going to leave dude? You know he's all sad Crestfallen that Jack's like I'm gonna do without Jacks, bro What's gonna be like how's it gonna feel when you're not with me anymore? Dude you have a third eye because my mind Dude, do you have a third eye? Because one's blind. Third eye blind is a great way to describe jacks, by the way. It's a great way. I know.

You can hit yourself on the eye with that little black raky rock all you want. It's not helping your third eye become less blind. You know what I mean? Stop poking yourself on the eye. And you too, Chris did. This whole episode is people just poking themselves in the eye. The third eye. Chris is I think third high blind.

I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and like he can do to be like seven minutes or less. It's like amazing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So James's like, hey, hey, hey, it's boys night. It's boys night. Guys, night guys Jens let's go be men let's be men and be guys like turning into a reed it's got guys night boys night catwalk catwalk jacks catwalk yeah he's more cockney when he's bro he's like oh okay I got a little idea guys old jacks about why don't you do a catwalk. Nothing says bro. Do in the opening or like doing the chimney sweep dance from the mayor of Poppins. Bro!

Bro! Bro! Mafia Lady, let's do it right now. Yes, and he's really trying so hard to be with the boys. He's so excited to be with these skanky guys, you know? Yeah. And he's like, Jackson boy,

Jackson boy, bro, you have a dream, bro. And if Britney says no, what are you gonna do with your dream, bro? When he did not have a dream to be a social media hockey person, what the hell is everybody talking about? That's gonna be Jackson's March on Washington.

That'll be his speech. I have a dream, you're a social media hockey person. I have a dream, a dream to tweet about many, many hitting flat parts with big six shaped likeos. Change the world, bro, change. So, so while there, while the guys are dancing and doing catwalks, the girls go and do their skinny dipping, which was great great because we got to see Kristen wipe out on the beach

She's just like oh I'm right after Brittany's like I'm just cracks me up. That's like the perfect time to say it Kristen falls face first into the beach You know those like there were some like clams under that sand. They're like what the fuck You know those like there were some like clams under that sand. They're like what the fuck I think what just fell on me I know they're like what is this thing skittering all over the beach I like total hypocrites are the horseshoe crabs back And then back in the boys James

Jackson's Jackson's in full victim mode this episode which is hilarious and I love that the editors keep cutting in like this really feeling music for Jackson It's like cut back to the boys parting Jackson's like I'm gonna just catch a break Just catch a Like well, you've got everything else for Christy. Why not? He wants it's called breaky for him. He needs a breaky Kelsey is breaking breaky the same thing So this breaky I think Christian was just doing it on the beach Does it hurt your face?

Hey, if we all touch nipples, do we cast a spell? It's their nipple blood. Yeah,le, puffle, waffle, nip. So then meanwhile, now time to go back to Sir and see what's going on at the sexy unique restaurant of the north. So it's one thing I noticed in the episode we did live last week of the very first episode ever, but I forgot to mention it. Lisa walking in and the first time we see her go to a table. I love that she gets all Italian. She's like Hello, how are things? Oh

Bon Appetit. Yeah, yes Lisa life is beautiful. I just like to see it's like look at me. It's fun. Hostess Lisa. You know, I will always say The very first time I went to a band of restaurant was the LeBlancah with my friends Andrea and Jason several years ago. And she really was like very, she's good. She knows she knows she knows how to play the game, right? She's she knows that the show is driving business to her restaurants and people

there to see her and she goes and she says hi and she greets everyone so I respect that you know Yeah, she's a good Mickey Mouse at Disney. She really is. She's a good at it and Ken's a very good, I don't know Donald Duck You like is Donald Duck even moving like Donald Duck always has the least amount of energy every time I'm at Disneyland I'm like, why is it Donald Duck that's just sitting there? It's always Donald Duck, that lazy, but, well, it's always like someone who's been out in the Orlando sun a little bit too long. Just like dying of heating Josh and sitting in like a little chair in the corner of the, uh, of the animal animal kingdom buffet That's made to look like you're in West Africa. I'm there. I was there this summer. It's a very real experience for me. Okay. I was there. Yeah. I'm still terrified because I went to Epcot a few years ago. My niece was just a little baby. We're like rolling her around. It's like a hundred something

degrees outside because of course it's cheaper to go than. And it was a lot of walking and I'm still better. And I just remember thinking Donald Duck is just sad. I mean, we were there three days and every time we saw Donald Duck, I like, someone cheer that fucker up. It's these like James smoking at the fucking Epcot Center, you know, Jamaica, and restaurant or whatever. I can I tell you something? Back, I went to back in first grade, which was 1986. We went, we had a family vacation to Disney World and we went to Epcot Center. And I remember seeing someone with the figment, figment's like the purple dragon from the figment of your imagination ride, which I've never been on to this day.

I don't know what that is. It was like in a glass pyramid structure that looked like an IMP design in front of the Louvre. So I remember seeing someone with the Figment thing. I was like, he's lame, he has a stupid purple dragon, and then I was somewhere, and my dad, obviously, I felt like a fuzzy thing in my cheek, and I turned around, my dad was like,

nuzzling a little figment, stuffed figment against my cheek, and I was like, I want it! And I got it, and he was like, my favorite thing for like 10 years. He was basically my little stuff frog. you know I always remember at his birthday I know when his birthday was as in the day that I got him Is March March 26th Ninety-seven which means that yesterday was his 30-second birthday. Oh my god. You just totally fucked over figment in your

just totally fucked over Figment in your even in your touching story. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's a box somewhere like, it is my mother fucking birthday. That's exactly what it is. Thinkman has like a red like bullet wound on his forehead. He'll be like, it's my birthday. Thinkman's like, I'm a hot slut in the morgue. Get me out of here. Thinkman's just like lording over a little ranch fondue Sunday, dipping a stoop waffle into it. Oh, did you call? So it sounds like this part, it needs some entertainment. Money get by your class. So we get to see Billy's space work, which I always love Billy during, like improv with

real props. She's like, hey, you wanna move from seven to seven thirty? Okay, I've got it. If you see her fake screen touching, like they show the close up of the screen and her not touching it. Which was hilarious to me. Like there's an improv class with props.

She's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All right, Mr. Figment, your birthday dinner has been shifted to seven thirty. She's like, Mr. Figment, are you still in that box? My pussy's amazing So Lisa comes over it's like hello Billy. Hello. How are you and so she starts telling This is amazing. Thank you. How are you Lisa? How are you my darling? So Billy Lee quietly the show's biggest gossip is like, oh, I'm good.

You know, she not tried to sit up, but Britney with Adam, and I thought that's funny. Oh, I guess that she was asking about, about Billy's day with Jeremy, since I got a lot of life for saying Jeremy, because that's how I say it. I'm from the wooder. Jeremy got wooded, but at the fire.

Jeremy is smoking. Deadly, serious. got worded but at the buyer. Charlie is smoking. Charlie is smoking. Charlie is. Charlie is. Ben's spoken today in class. Uh, uh, uh, because Lisa's like, Billy Lee!

Billy Lee Lee Lala. How did your taste go with the new hero of the restaurant? Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, This is your take-go with the new hero of the restaurant- Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I can't help but wonder did our firefighter said you were blaaaaaazza But we leave these like well, I guess she was just trying to say I guess she was just trying to show her that you know There's more out there than jacks and better broadcast. I feel that's a bit premature Don't you listen here little lady fake screen touching. This is my show And when a side-four jacks to come down, I will bring him down This and here, little lady fake screen touching. This is my show. And when a side-for-chance to come down, I will bring him down.

Yeah. And by the way, I like that when they reference Adam, we then cut to Adam and Wes. And I'm like, hey, my man, Wes. I'm like, I love when they're these vacations and the JB crew has to take over, sir. It's like, Billy Lee, Adam and Wes barely I don't know what's even in this I mean they really should bring back that girl from last season. What was her name? We always forget the hostess in training Daniel Tina Wasn't it a two wasn't a receivable name risk of her? I That's not too syllables. It's actually specifically many more

Daughter of Gillian Michaels specifically many more. Daughter of Gillian Michaels. Mickey Hargote, Mariska's father who owns a nursery right in your runny. Wasn't it the girl who, do you mean the girl who said that she was boning James? No, no, remember there was that girl who was like, Lisa, I would like to be a hostess.

I want to do it. And they're like, all right. Or maybe she was a hostess. Maybe Mahoney or Katie or Mally. Katie or Mally, yeah. And Lisa's like, all right, tell she was oh this is my honey or Katie o'Malley Katie o'Malley yeah and Lisa's like all right tell me what to table is and she's like and has four wheels and it goes really

fast she's like I'm sorry you're only get partial credit that is a Jaguar but he's go back up and and Jaguah Jaguah so yes yes? So, um, yes. Yes. So now at 3.47 a.m. in Mexico, uh, she's in La La, she's she-o, and La La are getting ready for bed, and she's like, what are you doing? You're taking forever. This is when I read it. You're taking way more than seven minutes. If you know what I'm saying hashtag. I've phonetically wrote down. She knows opening line. What you're doing. I actually have the um the vowels written out like musical

notes. I have to because sometimes I have to do that. I've add extra vowels to make sure if she says what what you're doing, I don't say, what are you doing, which is what I did? Oh no, she did say, what are you doing? She said, I wrote because I wrote it, what I wrote, W-A-T-R-U-D-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O So many nuances. This is why we need this is why we need conductors at the symphony, you know? What are you doing? The words are the same, but the the cadences are just are different and so Turning her into stress so

So she was like, look, because basically Lala's doing something with honey. We don't know yet, like honey and there's a bottle and she goes, Lord even knows what she's gonna be doing with that. Yeah, so she's just like, walk, I bring up stuff frog with me, I've got a frog has a special meaning to me

and I snuck all up with it every single night. Like, no, I know I just did my figment rant, but I like how she says, look, I bring up stuff frog with me everywhere. As I like how she says, I forgot to stop bothering me everywhere, as if like, oh yeah, like that's normal. Yeah, she's like, even I have never seen a grunt, what's up, bada before bedtime. Except she calls it baba,

which I think all of us know, you know, like a little sucker for a baby is a baba, but Bala says, I'm getting my baba, which is even creepier because that's like a Tom, you know? Yeah, because she was actually, when we said doing something with honey in a bottle, it was actually a baby bottle and she slipped into bed under the covers and started suckling on a baby bottle. AKA a Bubba. AKA Bubba.

Yes, which was really creepy to watch. She's like, look, girl power. I'm trying to be friends with everybody, which is why I suck Tom off in my mind every night before I go to bed. Even she knows like, this is where I don't know. I'm someone who sleeps with five printer canvases aimed at my face. Rock it down that Baba unless I'm something my next. So in case anyone's keeping score, Baba and Bravo means Tom Schwartz, Katie Maloney, Dureet and now a baby bottle. Bobbly means Dureet's child and pizza. And for people who don't understand the origins of bubbly happy birthday to you happy birthday to you

I love that everybody is so shocked that someone from Vanderpump rules is taking a bottle to bed. I mean, the only thing shocking here is that the youngest one is the most mature and fries away to not spill it all over the seats. Unlike speaking of pizza, unlike Tom Schwartz, we now cut to Katie and Tom in bed and she's eating pizza off of her stomach. You know, somewhere, Kevin Lee is just like passed out in a rocking chair like, I told her so many times. Why you do that? Why you do that, Katie? I'm concerned for you. Not even go pizza. Kevin Lee's just popping up all over the place. I also have to say, you know, Bravo doesn't, couldn't have done this on purpose, but it's two shows in a row tonight, because Summer House and this one were the women's like, fuck it. I'm'm just gonna try and be as drunk as the one I'm trying to marry.

That'll fix everything. It's like two storylines right in a row. Katie's like, look we're happy. I'm just gonna get wasted now instead of getting mad at Tom getting wasted. Which I think, you know, I can't, as a single person forever, I can't really say that what's a good relationship move and what's a bad one. But you know, I say if you're with somebody that will let you be wasted and spill pizza all over your bed and still sleep with you, that's a good marriage.

I mean, I'm starting to buy it because I haven't been buying it so far. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird to hear her say, Thomas next level wasted, but it's cute. This is not the Katie that I know. And then she even said, if he blacks out and makes out with someone, it will most likely be me this time. Or the pizza. Yeah.

But I don't know if that's growing or just giving up. You know what I mean? So it's 4.30 a.m. and there's a knock on the door and who enters, but Stasi. And it's funny she enters and I was like, hi, and just like shoves her onto the bed and she looks at him like, what the fuck? And he's like, oh no, I'm sorry. I didn. I mean like that. She's like, it's fine. It's fine. I like that he's talking in some weird voice now. I don't know. This isn't his drunk voice. It's his bedding time, but it's been like very, he's talking like this. Like, would you lease a gritting a table?

Who are you? So apparently Kristen is freaking out in the hotel room Like ranting and who knows what it reminds me those like horror movies where like It's like don't go into that room at night because at night the the kindly in keeper turns into a monster What wasn't there that movie a few years ago about the grandparents the M night Shumla movie like at night grandma turns into a monster. Wasn't there that movie a few years ago about the grandparents, the M Night Shumla movie, like at night, grandma turns into a witch. Oh, that was good. That was a good movie, by the way. I didn't see it because I don't like watching horror movies, but it's... Oh, that was a good one. But it's basically like at night, Christian just turns into like an actual monster.

That like has to be, you have to leave her alone in the room. And the movie could be called your remember cup and Hagen You know how she wasn't Copenhagen you remember you remember Copenhagen. I'm like, please can somebody from this gas Please spoke up in Hagen. I'm going to step on to my magical strupe waffle and take a ride back to Denmark with you, please To hear about this. She's like now on the last thought. I was sorry. What oh? I was gonna say this is another plot line that's in summer house tonight as well Where somebody gets so wasted that everybody just leaves them in bed and goes somewhere else without them It's a really weird parallel night tonight. It really is

So the backstory on Kristen being a terror when she travels, which is a new thing, I guess, is Sasi's like, on the last night in Copenhagen, I actually saw Satan. And we basically heard that Kristen was like a ranting lunatic. And I'm just imagining while Kristen is ranting that there's like two, two like chefs running through this trying to get a wheel of comp day cheese for Caroline. So let me in the middle of it, you know, just like... Um, this, this was hilarious. First of all, that Kristen has travel issues. Have we ever heard this before? No, Kristen just suddenly has travel issues. Have we ever heard this before? No, Kristen just suddenly has these issues where she's like, I'm just going to travel.

No, traveling without quarter. What did this happen? It's a new illness spreading all over Brabo. It's the new lime. Yeah, I don't understand it.. I mean I like it. I like that Christian is a Demonic traveler who needs an exorcism in the morning, but I don't know where it came from She's like I literally took my bags out. Okay, that's not bad. She was okay So speaking of being possessed I really should not have uttered the name Caroline Fleming because then of course I looked at her Instagram. And Ronnie, I'm sorry, I think we have to do an impromptu clear the flame. Is that okay? Yeah, of course.

So we haven't done this in a while. We have a lot of new listeners. Caroline Fleming is one of our absolute favorite Bravo stars. She's from Ladies of London and she has truly the most ridiculous slash wonderful Instagram. So she usually puts some nonsensical photo and has a ridiculous caption. So I just happen to look and there's a photo of Caroline Fleming in a telephone booth in a basically She's in a jumpsuit a black jumpsuit with like a like a red and white stripe on it holding a bag a schnell bag and Holding up a phone the phone booth is a British woman was red phone booth. She's holding up a phone But with her index finger and her thumb like almost like it's gross She's holding

up and she's got sunglasses on and she's just in there and the caption says, never keep up on something. Wait, let me start over because it's too stupid. Okay, I got, she's in a phone booth posing with her knee up her foot is like on the on the door her knee is up Holding a Chanel bag and a phone and a phone handle saying never give up on something you truly believe in star What what do you truly believe in what is what is this a picture of endurance? Is it landlines? Payphones like do not give up on the payphone

What is what what is she possibly standing make standing where's the perseverance? Let me see here. I'm looking through to find something. This is just fucking ridiculous. Let's see. Okay. She's wearing a pineapple shirt. With some kind of shoulder ruffle thing. Yes. Or a sluffle.

Do you call that? Like kind of a fluffel ruffle. Yeah. It's like a, it's like a, like, there were shoulder pads at one point, but they got deflated. Yes. And pants that look like white curtains. Yes. And like, the curtain rod is her mouth.

Yes. It's a really obliquely and she's like, I have to sort of my hair. Because she's like that her pants are her hair. She's like, look, sometimes my hair is messy. And sometimes I go for what I believe. So she goes, you will never have this day again. Hot emoji.

So make it matter heart emoji What day what there you having she's like look pineapple. I would never have this pineapple day again I think that maybe it's a reference the fact that like time is fleeting because if you look closely There is a spectral image of a skull behind her It's one of Caroline's Danbury's old interns. It's like the army of the dead is coming for her and she's like, hold on, army of the dead. I need to take a selfie there. Army of the dead. You will never have a day this day again. So make it matter.

Hot dead dead army. Game of groans. Okay. So she's now she's still wearing the same pineapple shirt because she's like, I don't know if I really got you to cross. Let us get now in front of, make my hair more rough. Make it more rough up. OK, let us get in front of this display of dead butterflies. This was one of those where they get the butterflies

with their wings open and they like zap them frozen or whatever and put them on sticks. So she's standing by that with her hand tussling her hair with her eyes closed next to sea and she's like, I'm a good egg, just a little cracked and scrambled. In Denmark we call that Kafflakshonen. Everywhere else they call that bad eggs. Really bad eggs. Okay, I'll do one last one for me. There's a picture of her.

She is kneeling in a bathtub. She's wearing a little yellow bikini. She's holding a, I guess it was probably a tulip at one point probably, a tulip, a yellow tulip, and she has plucked several of the tulip petals off into the bath and she has her hand up high, like she's, she just flung some of these petals. And the caption is, you are amazing and strong and brave and wonderful and when I want to smile, I just close my eyes and think of you hot. What?

First of all, your eyes are enclosed. When I go woo-hoo, but my eyes are half closed, but my arm is in the air and I just shaved with flowers in the tub, I think of you. Thanks. Thanks. That's really touching. Wow you really, you really taught us so much. Anyway, wow. Sorry, we really have to go to the flam. That was good.

Let's close up clearly. Oh God, I've missed that crazy. Yes. She's the best. I love her. She has a podcast now. So everybody go listen to it. It's with her and Sophie said, I just feel so he's done for you guys. My brain is completely gone. So yeah, her and it's a happy time. But keeping it real. Yes. So next step, hoat or hoat? Hot or hoat? I don't know why I wrote that band. I just want to say real, real briefly, the nice little epilogue on this scene with Tom Cadian Stasi is that Stasi had to go to sleep on Tom's pizza stained pillowcase. It wasn't me, I swear.

Baba. Where's Craig when you need him to do a little, stitch a little cat over the pizza stain? I like that even when he's drunk, Tom too can always remember his lines. It wasn't me, I swear. So that matches. It next up. Yes. Dude, 7th or even morning. And he's also the first one on Bravo lately that doesn't

have the typical dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Whatever that reason is. Why can't I never remember it? It's the one that goes, oh, now you did that, you did some weird, you did some weird somba, and now I can't, now I can't hear it anymore. Mine is a, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, they say the neon lights are red, on the brough, on the brough, it sounds like a little vibration of that.

I love it, but his is like a slot machine. It's like Here's the here does opening default sounds like this. Oh, I hate it Not to wait hold on. I've got to reset my phone. You guys can hear my ringtone because I got to set it back to where it was. Sorry everyone Little 24 C2 you ring team little 24 Ctu ring time. Harry on is like Tom. There's something very important going on. You need to get out of bed. He's like, no bro, that's my move.

This may be the last time I get to sleep in while Jackson still here. Peter and James are sharing a room, which makes me feel bad for James because Peter's hot and so nice and everything, but he has no lines. It feels like they just keep putting James with like the swings. I know. Well, I thought what was funny is that everyone was, because everyone was waking up because they all had to go on a little field trip. And so everyone's like, um, 730, we just wanted to sleep.

Oh, and Peter's like, Hey, everyone, okay. Ready for him ready to go. People ready to go. All right. Great. Well, I also bonded with Kristen in this episode, which felt really weird. I'll have to say, Kristen wakes up with a pillow that she's put a t-shirt on, and I do that.

Because I don't know. And I realized, oh my God, I'm just like Kristen and also a dog because I do that when I leave town. I put one of my t-shirts on a pillow to give the dog sitter for Bielor. It's kind of like Kristen going to sleep. Mustard. So we all sleep with me, Kristen and Bula, I'll sleep with the pillow

with the T-shirt on. Yeah. So there you go. I don't know if anybody needed that information, but it was funny to be like, I share something in common with Kristen and a dog. We're sharing. We all went. We're sharing.

You know, while I was wore a little shirt figment He came with one His little yellow shirt with our honor. Did you sleep on him? I Anyway, so yes, Kristen sleeping The end everybody Tom has 30 feet so Tom's end of all is like sitting there and he's like He's in there with Ariana and he's like dude. I can't believe Jack will be the one to leave I mean I feel like I'll never see him and I was like well you can go visit him He's like it's not fair. It's not fair

There are these things called planes Tom Sometimes I wonder if that's just why they're together. It's really fun to correct me. Yeah, it's like a Richard Scary book. Plains. Then you basically cut to Tom just throwing himself into the mattress. It's like, Tom, this is an actual king size mattress. There's no abyss. You can't fling yourself into the abyss, Tom. It's not Rob's Lake House.

It's not too twin beds, Tom. Crop and deal with it, Tom. He's like boom, boom, boom. I know I can get in between these mattresses soon We're going to planning in the crevasque the crevasque between our mattresses So then we cut to jacks and he's just Sad jacks is a victim music. It's like Yeah

Just me just contemplating life on a chair fondling a raky rock. Yes, it's like how many times his Jack Jack's been up at dawn Just sitting on the patio confused with a rock. He doesn't know how to get up his nose. Yeah He's so he's sitting there and bringing his like hi, Jayx And he's just start saying about how we he took he took it from all angles last night. Even Tom said so, he just kept on taking it from angles and everyone was just so harsh. I mean, he's fine. I've done a lot of fucked up shit, but like, he really took it from a lot of angles, you know. I thought it would be cool to share my job offer.

I thought it would be a cool thing to share that they came for me. First they came for Jacks. No one cared. Then they came from my r for jacks no one cared then they came for my rakey stone and no one cared And they came for me with the rakey stone up my nose and no one cared It just never ends. He's the victim in every scenario. Yeah, I love this. They're coming from me from all angles It's like yeah, well, maybe you shouldn maybe you should stop being a fucker in all different angles. Like, well, they won't come for you in all the different angles.

Jack's being a victim is nothing new, but Jack's pretending to be positive is scaring the hell out of Brittany because she's like, she's starting to fall for it. Now, you know, Brittany, it doesn't take much to convince Brittany and she looks terrified. She's like, how are you? And he's like, just thinking. And she looks visibly worried when he says that. Yeah, Oh, no, not thinking. So,

God, how are you gonna do that social media for the hockey details? Jay, if you're thinking, you're not drinking. Okay, so come on. Stop thinking, Mr. Lincoln.

Look what I got here. So he just, he's like, well, I have my negativity rock. And Kelsey says it'll help clear away negativity. So he's like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave you to the negativity rock and this, this purty view. Okay, okay. She's basically backing up like,

oh, okay, man, Jack's thinking, Jack's out just be, Dr. Get over here. Texas. Thank you and Jack's just as there's like he's crushing he's crushing that rock against just third eye yeah so he's like who's there? Who's there? Ricky who? Ricky Lake what time's like knock-knock jokes. He's like hello Who's there to get to the other side? God I thought it would be a good thing to dare Fucking chickens. Chicken can't even be happy for me Banana who? Banana. How long this isn't going?

Banana who? Banana who. And now it's an orange eye cup. Oh, I get it. Where fruits always mean to me? First the banana came for Jacks. So now they go, now they all are going to this water park, called Zilla or something like that.

And I don't know anyone who watches Happy Endings, probably felt a little bit of warmth because that was Alex's store, Shela, no, Xeo. Anyway, so water park, they're at the water park, and they're in the van there, and they're in the van. They're in the van there, and they're in the van. So they're in the van there, and they're in the van. It felt a little bit of warmth because that was Alex's store. Shella no exe out anyway So um water park they're at the water park and they're in the van there in James Of course is like chugging booze and he's like listen. I didn't come to Mexico to not turn up girl

Like you say that about going to target. Okay. I don't go to target not turn up girl Turn it up turn it up target up and red dot up red dot up and We can we get up and then he starts speaking Spanish. He's like, okay, and she'll love that move chat And they get there also how it goes to target So Lala's like oh my god, I hate when James is always trying to kiss, let's try James. Yeah, I have to valve the fear of birds. And then they cut to like several macaws on Kristen. And that's like the last, I would develop a few of birds too if I heard Kristen's voice

in threesome. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr three some seriously seriously seriously uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I'm like Brittany even does this wrong They're like staring at her JX was like keep talking to me. I'm on to Mario Love that Lala even get straight with the parents. She's like look at those parents. They got them beets

Okay, how hard is such a gangster bitch? They all start staring at lizard. I was like, oh my god, it's the star of lizard pump rules. But across over episode. It's that's like the 10 year anniversary title of the season. James is like, can I pick up the moan star? They're like, let him be pretty. Just let him be alone. Brittany goes, hey, look,

I can a little dinosaur. Drunk Tassock Park. Brittany of Jurassic Park. Hey, T-Rex, I like hate me about water, shake. Everyone's like, why are you dating the T-Rex, I like how you mean my water shake. Everyone's like, why are you dating the T-Rex, Brittany? It's horrible. It eats people. She's like, But I love you! Clarever girl! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jacks is calling. Hey, Jacks, I'm just gonna climb up these parallelons. Make sure no one turns them on. Electric eats me, okay? Jacks is eating out in Annie. The T-Rex just runs away. Like a Jacks. It's just you see like the water shaking in the glass and then they put the flashlight up and Jack's face just lowers the Jeep. But it's like the sensitive T-Rex, so he's just sitting in a Michelle Owen. The T-Rex is just...

The T-Rex is just holding a little rakey so I'm going, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr This is a crotch shop from some cart, you know, someone else on TV. The guy he's still killing it. Oh. Who would you rather bone a triceratops or a bronchosaurus? One has a really big neck, but the other one has a big mouth. What do you think, Jeff? I think I'll all, Andy, have I shown you about Chaos Theory? I'm gonna put a drop of water on my knuckle. Did Laura during have to endure this?

Endurance. Dixie. Dixie. So, while they're at this, they're at this like water park and Stasi is complaining to Kristen Ariana about, I'm sorry, complaining to Ariana about Kristen and how what a monster she is, much like that little lizard. And Stasi's like, you know what, when I'm traveling, like I sleep a certain way and I need a certain sort of environment and like Kristen's not like that, you know what? When I'm traveling, like, I sleep a certain way and I need a certain sort of environment

and like, Kristen's not like that. You know what? The agreement is I want complete darkness and silence after 2am, AF. No, I'm like, yeah, Ariana's like, poor Stasi, so sad. She's like, you remember you called my brother creepy last week, right?

It's weird, it's like, it's like, it's weird. It's just weird that Stasi would even go to Ariana and Tom for sympathy. That's like me going to like a fucking brick workout. What do you call those that place called brick where they lift? Yeah. That's like me going to CrossFit and complaining about the calories and the dominoes to people who are actually working out. Well, listen, you know, Stasi knows what's up. When you're, when you've got a bone to pick with someone, you poison the waters all around. You just go to every single person and be like,

Kristen was loud at night. Kristen was smoking and she was freaking out. And she was like throwing up and project all ways, twisting her head all around. It was weird. Yeah, it gets worse and worse every time. Which actually I believe the Kristen was like that. She's probably just so wasted like, oh, I'm scared.

Oh my God, I'm really scared. Oh my God, it's harder. Oh my God, there's too many. I don't want to do this. A lot of them run harder. No, it doesn't. Calm down. Literally, Kristen bashed in the bathroom with an axe.

I was like, here's Kristen. Ugh. All work and no play makes Kristen something something. Ugh. I Want red rum. Where is it? What's everybody offering me red rum all the time? Is there's red rum on the warm and you wired? It's certainly red rum red rum I want my red rum and red rum and red rum and red rum

rum and rum and rum and rum. Oh, well, my baby, Bob baby. Brady comes over. Can I help you, Chris? And would you like some red room? It sounded like the baby backs are in some. I want my red, I know that's what I actually meant to do. Kibbles and bits, but it turned into baby back. Oh, I recognize that jingle.

Brittany's like, hi, somebody gave ribs for that. I saw Jack's because he's about to eat a baby. So Jack's is staring at it. I recognize that jingle Brittany's like, oh, somebody gave ribs for that assort, Jess So Jack's is staring at it the water park with fear and he's like, I don't know about swimming anymore and they show a flashback You can come help me if you want you come help me Jack's like the feet down the sand below you And she is like, it's not like the tunnel of acting here like it. But you're solely a live ass. And also you need to go through that dropper giver and make sure that you clean everything up. Because Robert did this must in some minutes.

And we're going to respect this like in Mexico. And poor Peter, he puts on a live vest and it's not that he gave him a muffin top. It sort of gave him like a Pillsbury Crescent role container that exploded on both ends. That sounds delicious. Yeah. I've done that so many times. I'm like, well, I guess I should cook these. And they're great. Yeah, you just cook the bacteria away, guys. Yeah. So there's some advice to anybody who dates Peter so put him in a toaster. He'll be fine. So Chris and in China have their like aggressively passive aggressive talk by a tree. Oh no way. No they've villainized everybody else. Who else are they gonna talk to? Brat me, she's got her own problems.

So they're going from like someone who doesn't care to someone else who doesn't care. It's like, she know you won't believe it. What? Yeah. That Jackson is actually avoiding cleaning up a lake to the Empress Rob. I think that.

Yeah, a person is like, yeah, Stasi was crazy last night. Like she just came in drunk and just started yelling at me about something like What just cuz I was setting her matches on fire doesn't mean you get to yell at me. Okay seriously seriously Stasi's just being a stubborn bitch So Kristen and Stasi That was their talk. She's like, so, so, go last night, dog.

And they're just having this, they're trying to talk it out, but not really. They're just getting angry at each other. And the Chris and his like, you do always throw temper tantrums. Tantrums. You do throw temper tantrums when you're drunk. And I always let it go. I'm always the peacemaker. I'm like, sure. I mean, the peacemaker, I'm like sure.

I mean, immediately she's true. She's right. I mean, we did see Stasi storm out of her own murder party. But I like that Chris and Axley, she was just totally fine when she- she'd been drinking all day long and we know she's a nightmare. Yes, and Stasi's like, um, I'm not doing this because you know you're terrible and you freak out. And I'm- you know what, next time I go on a trip, I don't even want to fight you. She's like, I wouldn't go! I didn't want to go to Paris. That's why I stayed in Copenhagen

Hello, my t-shirt below Trying to find why they're why is everybody trying to serve me red front but not giving it to me Why would they offer that to me and then not serve it to me everywhere I go It's a red rom and they say no What's happening to me and They say no. What's happening to me? And basically, Kristen is just trying to spread the responsibility around,

because that's like, you literally become a homicidal maniac. Well, we all become a homicidal maniac. No, you were actually swinging an ax at me. We all swing axes. You chop my arm off. We all chopped our arms off. Kristen, I literally have one arm and you have two We all have five arms in the three you need to learn how to talk to people are not scream

Seriously seriously killing the screaming game Let's not finish this. Okay. Let's not finish it. Yeah. Let's not finish it. Okay. Fine. Let's not finish it one arm not finish it. Yeah, those are not finished it. Okay, fine, that's not finished it. One arm. I knew he's all I only had went arm. So then we get to song and I don't know what the words are, but it sounds like pasta pasta pasta. Tuget white. I'll stop all I'm hearing now. I have never wanted you to cocaine and eat pasta more than I have watching this show. I have been eating more. I'm not even this is not a joke. I've been eating way more pasta in the past two months I think it's partly because of the show like I've been making pasta and eating pasta out like I I'm a gay person in L.A I do not eat pasta. That is not what I can do and yet I'm doing it

Yes in a couple years ago that was there was that huge pasta controversy where they're like that pasta hates gay people And you see the times always turn back around just wait because now it's back it's like finally the gay people are eating pasta again thank you band up on proves I know so now the highlight of the episode briny excited because I saw a lemur family like a bunch of little lemur babies yeah they're like he's this big and it's a huge water just like killing with him is like lemurs and she was like that's like I had the possum how about I'm and goes, this is all I wanted my whole life to see wild animals. Well, that explains the relationship.

She goes, it's like a cat and she goes like, a possum. But no, like a cat. It's a possum. Like a cat. It's like a cat and a cat. It's like a cat in the bigger cat, but with longer tail and a possum face. I told you possum! So, Jack's is sitting in the shallow end. He's so pathetic. He's like, look at me. He's like afraid to go any deeper. And he's still wearing a life jacket, which is hilarious.

Can you help me? You can come help me if you want, Brittany. So she comes. I feel thinking, are you, I don't want to get, I don't want anybody to get hurt in this like. So Brittany comes up and she feels all guilty. She comes, she's not apologizing to him, but she's a very apologetic tone,

which establishes some of the fuckery in this relationship because he's, he's made her feel shitty, you know, because she comes up and she's like, I just feel bad, Jack's, because you had a harsh knot. And I was excited for you. I was excited that you got a dream job that doesn't seem like a real job offer,

but you got one. It's like social media for a hockey team in Tampa, in Tampa, in Tampa. And I'm so just like, give up everything and all my friends and all my inroads I made here and my job and my life and my happiness just for you. But I was happy for you, Jackson. I was so proud, I was proud.

And I don't want you to think I wasn't proud. And like, please don't think I wasn't proud. Why are you traveling, Brittany? Yes, well, because she told all the girls the second he left the table and then they jumped all over him. So now she's feeling guilty. It's not like she made up something and told them.

She just said that he's thinking of taking a job. Like, Jesus Christ, she didn't do it. Yeah. And then he's like, honestly, I thought you were on board, Brittany. I thought you were on board. When did she ever say she was on board? Yeah. That's from the beginning.

She's not on board. You asked. It's just a manipulation on his part. Now he's just like, oh, I find no, no. Would have like, he's like, I get to be around hockey, which is my passion. I mean, it's quite a passion. I haven't talked about it in five years, but it's my passion. The funny thing about this is, you know, that there's not even a missed call on his

phone or like a received call on his phone for these people. And he's just trying to have something to blame Brittany for and be a victim for next year. Like she took my dream away. Yeah, exactly. And he's just, you know, now that he, she's groveling, he has her in a place where he can be like, if I had known, I would have said, like, we're thinking about, we're gonna talk about,

you didn't tell me. You didn't let me know. You weren't clear with what you said. And then you said things and made me look like a dick. And everyone yelled at me on my birthday vacation. You know, it's so manipulative it's disgusting. And she's like, well, it's just a lot to think about. I just want to make sure you're not thinking because that hurt you, Jacks.

Please, please don't think anymore, Jacks. It's not drowning, but with your brain. And he just says they're pouting in the shallow end. It's like the best it's the best image of Jack's ever. You know, he's like, in a life jacket sitting in the machine. Yeah, bubbles bubbles rising up around his butt. So Stasi is talking more about how Kristen was awful. Christine, Christine is like, it's sausage, while she made her cry. That's my Christmas upset.

It's not just while and so she's just going on with this whole thing about how Christian is an emotional terrorist and she's like, it's like having a member isis in your hotel room, a F. She's like, she's been rolled to settlement. So I say that's a little mean to Isis. Hey, I just is trying to improve its image here.

It's like having ISIS in your hotel room with T-shirt means. At least ISIS has goals, okay? Yeah, it's like two bless to not kill impudels. So, I don't even remember this, I wrote down this thing, where Jack's, oh oh yeah it was the so Jacks and James are hanging out in the water park and they're talking there's like a there's like a swing like a like a rope swing or whatever and Jack's like hey James you try this to him. Yeah, I killed it. I killed it

I'm like you don't swing guys bro. You do a swing from it Little league grab on and fall from it. He literally grab on and fall. James is really trying to get be friends with Jacks. So he's decided that he will now tell Jacks all of the shit about the girl that she needed trying to hook up at him, you know, because he's like, what if Jacks needs a jacks, he bought a needs and tell him to treat also probably has something to do with all those drinks that were slamming down his throat and these producers really know how to produce the show. Yeah, exactly.

So he tells he's like I'm trying to cover up my every on a from reading my lips. You're not very honest like, she's like how the computer I'm sorry James I can't do that for you. She's closing an airlock around him. So, um, Jackson's like, so Jackson's like trying to say calm. He's like, oh, I'm just trying to pull in my inner Kelsey. I'm sorry. I meant I'm trying to be inside Kelsey. I like that Kelsey's advice was just trying a Matt visualized yourself having a good time on this trip. And he's like, I totally listen to Kelsey

She's the only thing that helps you haven't even tried Yeah, so he's like but I like Adam he came to my house. He seemed like a nice guy and James is like he is bro But I'm telling you she's trying to set him up set him up together To me sweeping to me sweeping Mary Poppins always God cut shit man cut the shit now with best friends jacks right now I told you these things with best friends I'm your best friend now jacks right old jacksie boy so then jacks tells us oh my god who is she to try and get my relationship did I try and get between her and say I'm like yes yes they didn't

even bother showing the flashbacks it's's so obvious Didn't even bother So then we go to yeah, I was I just saw it's morning again. Yeah, so now we have it in that voice like she was eating It's evening and James is James back in the hotel room and he's like steaming his shirt He's like I travel with my mini steam. Oh, whatever I go. It's from Cleveland. I don't know why everyone loves one if I say that with my mini steamer whatever I go it's from Cleveland I don't know why everyone loves one if I say that A little trick a little trick is I spread my cologne before I steam. It's like the cologne's just vaporing and you just smell like a fucking gold So question Ronnie What does Jim smell like what it smells like... Oh God. Oh my God. Um...

Well, steamer. Steamer has this... I mean, never done. There is a pretty, you know, uh, distinct smell to steamer. I feel like he smells like you've been, you've been, you've been like, you opened up a box of paperclips and you're rummaging through it to find the right size one,

it's the variety pack and you finally find it and then you smell your fingers. You're like, that's sort of, my finger sort of smell like paperclip. It's like cheap metal. And paper, sweat. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, this seemed, it looked to me like Norman Bates like steaming his mom's dress after she died. So I'm gonna say he smells like Norman Bates, like steaming his mom's dress after she died. So I'm going to say he smells like Norman Bates, you know, being thought out after being stuck in a garage freezer for a couple of months. I'm going to say, Matsumiel mixed with, um, Matsumiel mixed with, mixed with lighter fluid. I'm gonna say he smells like nighttime mom breath, you know, like that. That boxed wide smell when she's like,

I love you honey. You're like you. So boxed wine is cigarette breath and that fake cheese that they put on yellow nachos. Oh, I'm not totally mad at that smell. I think it smells like, spackle with goldfish back. Spackle.

What are you looking at in your house? You really have spackle sitting around on your desk. I'm saying spackle with gold. You know when people eat goldfish and they get goldfish breath, it's like that crackery smell. It's like, and there's like a little crumb that comes out at you. It's spackling. Goldfish breath.

Okay, I think he smells like egg residue that when you crack the egg on the counter and it just lift a little like egg just there and they dried. Plus, glue gun glue. It smells like what do you call those things that you use on special screens, those things you wipe down, special screens with. It's like a lint-free cloth. A lint-free cloth.

like it's like a lint free cloth. A lint free cloth. He smiles like a lint free cloth mixed with scallops. I'm gonna just hand you the win on this one. Anyway, you killed the rope game. So now other in the other room speaking who smells like number two is over there like boba look at me. I look like Conor McGregor. And then the camera doesn't close up up of his little tiny muffin top. And Katie never wanna say.

What's up with your pooch, dad bod? Yeah, by the way, Katie, you know, considering that you had this whole Kevin Lee moment earlier this season, don't shame the pooch, because we're working on it. And by way, I'm not sure. Yeah, what the hell? We're working on a two, Katie. We're working on two. Yeah, shut up, the hell we're working on a two Katie we're working on it

I'm Shut up Kevin Lee okay, he's like why did you do Tom to do yourself? I'm serious Tom to you a model Tom to So Lala and she and her in the bathroom getting ready together and oh yes Lala's like my man wants me how he's over it He is over it bitch Yeah, and she is like that's so funny cuz like I'm gonna go off the word my man I'm like I'm like I just want to I just want to be present and like have fun, you know Then she face that's right. I was gonna I told myself I was gonna turn out my fire

I like self-service in Mexico because I want to say I'm social media I'm like I don't need to be on the phone all the time like like staring at my Instagram, like looking to see if Rob's texted before me, how's it? You know, it's like what's the point? Like if he hasn't texted, because he knows that I know that he lost me, so. You know, okay, I'm on the phone now, I'm on the phone. Face time, Rob, it's Rob Face time. Hi Rob, it's me, she doesn't have the phone, I'm like 24 hours, I was so crazy.

He's like, yeah, you still shouldn't be on the phone. Why am I looking at your face? He's like, just please be president, have fun. She's like, okay, which is clearly why she said I just want to be president have fun Because he's probably told her five different times. Yeah, don't text me or call me just be president have fun May a president have fun. I get to have presence and have fun. No, just be present. Okay. Stay off of Wi-Fi Wi-Fi Oh, I know that that's short for why fight calling Rob. I'm not going to Hi Rob LTE that's down for let

That to me Call Rob Right now so he's like be president have fun. She's like I totally well I know it's so funny about that I was just saying as at the water park today I was like Rob would be so good at this water park. But he could don't like a water side in some. I'm driving.

So I've got to be safe. Gonna pull over. Gotta go. I'm driving. She goes, I love him. As he literally hangs up on her. And Mollos, like, this is sad. And I went to bed with the bottle. So I call my fat guy daddy and went to bed with the bottle.

And I'm fat. So he's like, yeah. So Kristen and Sos are doing makeup like we don't want to fight. I don't want to fight. Let's not fight. Okay. I was just like, ugh, traveling freaks my brain out. You know, like, let's say, let's say, if I, if I, I need Carter travel of a country,

ugh. Yeah, every time I freak out, like every time I, every time people fight, like I freak out, you know, like, let's say, let's say, if I, I need Carter travel of the country, oh, yeah, every time I freak out, like every time I, every time people fight, like, I freak out, like, then why do you start so many fights? No one is buying this, okay. So, if you talk about travel, like, there's roaches in the evening, he's bathroom, like, okay, Kim Zolsey, when you're stealing storylines from Kim Zolsey, it's just time to go back to bed with your T-shirt. I know. And how does Carter alleviate, alleviate anxiety? Anytime the camera is on him, his mouth is like doing that emoji thing, where his mouth is just like a horizontal line, teeth bearing, and his eyes are only left in the right, like, like, while you're looking at me, why am I in the camera right now? But every time, you know, Kristen, I'm still bonding with Kristen in this episode, which

again feels weird, but she's like, you know like I freak out so value and maraudables yellow. Yeah. Please don't feed me after midnight. Um so. I don't get water on me. So join. So um. Speaking of pasta we now go back up to to California. Release of underpump is cooking in her own personal kitchen. It's a new pasta for Ken. You know how I get these ideas. I have this idea of new pastas

that in my mind are going to taste licious. You're going to be my... Getting big darling, you mean, getting big? Yes! It's going in! I was just gonna say stop bouncing off the walls and sit over here again! Can you be kidding me? Oh good news! Kin, it's going to taste like a bolognese, but it's not going to have any meat in it! Wow! Swatty is a quintessential puppy dog.

I was so called my god, I hope she's not psychic because this has not been a good week for puppy dogs on the Vanderpump House. In the Vanderpump Household. And as much as, you know, I want time to possibly never get sober again. I also don't want him just to, you know, I don't know, die. No. So Ken's like, what is that gonna be ready? She's like, it's like bollion a Needless meatless bollion a some my coat a red sauce

Well, there's no question if you're cooking it on meat knit Like okay, there's another man fat-samey. See? Oh, this is the best bonus I've ever had. Thank you, Jeffrey! Thank you! Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- my winter storage of peanut am an am's you bastards so Brittany and Jack's Jack's is like so you want to drink and I'm like oh Jesus let's now what yeah what breaky cocktail so she's like you're gonna make me something I want a ham sandwich Martini hey I'm teeny You can make it without him water. And his face is just twitching. So he's like, he tells him the whole James thing. And she's like, well, obviously,

this has come from she and obviously the animals now that you know, I'm with you. He didn't know that Jackson's with you before he's been to your house. You. Yeah. Jackson for a while now. And she's all nervous and like speaking of, well, I mean, it was fine. I mean, I think that she was just like trying to make me happy. He's like, well, why didn't you tell me? He's like, I just, I didn't want to cause trouble.

You know, it's your birthday and you've been thinking a lot. I don't want you to think anymore. It's scary. I'll tell you, thinking, would leave us something bad. So she's like, well, this all goes back to the original problem, which is the Jack cheated on me. So Jack cheated on me and then someone got mad about it and then someone told she did about it and then Jack made she mad and then she got mad and then tried to make Jack say

it and then he brought at him and that was bad. And now I'm saying and and this Jackson's fault. Yeah. And Jack's, of course, is now mad at Sheena. And he's like, this is none of her business. Didn't she just get divorced? Not everyone wants to jump into marriage like she does and be divorced three times.

Like, I don't, what? I don't get it. Also, don't you know that Brittany's mom has been married like four times? He's such an asshole. Yeah. Not everyone wants to be like your slut mom, even though he wasn't talking about her. So, um, Jack's is like, what kind of weird possessed person are you? Like, you make, make some effort towards your own relationship. Your life

might be better. And she goes, aren't you saying you're gonna say something to Shane? And he's like, well, that's like me saying something to Rob. Like, you know, like telling everybody that Rob doesn't love you. I'm like, you just did that. You did that. You actually did that. And this was China's payback, by the way. So so now they the whole group goes to go as a dinner at sir. What?

Oh my God. And James Christians like Amar all out in. Yeah. They find a restaurant called Sir that's down there in Mexico. And they're like, whoa. And James he's like, they're like, oh my God, down there in Mexico and they're like whoa and James He's like they're like oh my god. That's so funny and James like Tom Tom's gonna be down the street Hey, the Abyssin be next door. I guess what where's Diana? Where's Natalie? Where's Guillermo? Guillermo's gonna be like hello

Welcome to soror because it's like an opposite Guillermo get it He's like would you like to come to Sunt? Would you like to come to Sunt bro? Would you like to come to Sunt? 30 you like to come to Sunt bro? Would you like to come to Sunt? 30 minutes later. Hey, I don't see a pretty pretty awesome British DJ in the corner there. Do you? They call this place sir. I don't think we get it James. How do you say wiggie wiggie in Spanish in front of a pizza oven to the Have pizza ovens? Where am I gonna work here? Where's a where's a Mexican James? Get past her here. Hey, where's the fridge with the back alley get it He really is just like Millen dad joke over another that after another bad joke after another and I should point out also by the way that this point

Kristen has now taken the mantle of the chunky the chunky vertical stripe She's she's now the one wearing the carnival tent stripe. Yeah. And then Jackson's like, Jacksy boy, let's do some shots. It's me, Jacksy boy. We're gonna get attacked. You mean, Jacksy boy.

And Mama's like, okay, this is just really sad now. It's like someone playing guard to get and someone being too easy. James does acting like a girl willing to give it up on the first date to a non-plane owning fat person. Just does that. Nonplain owning fat person. So um so then Shina is like guess what time to talk about Rob. He's the bass and he's like so handy with things. It's so sexy. Oh wait Ronnie you be present day Shina and I'll be big bear

Shina okay. Actually you should be present day because you I'll be big bear she know, okay? Actually you should be present day because you'll probably remember the lion's better. Okay, okay, okay Buckle up cuz we're going on a rotten she in a coaster. Okay, okay present day she Know he is the best and he's like so handy with things. It's so sexy He's the boss and he's like so handy with things and soft sexy like I'm watching him put a TV on the wall in like under seven minutes like I timed him. Like I watched him put a TV on the wall in under seven minutes and I timed him. He took like the hitch of his car and hooked up to mine in like less than a minute. He took the hitch of his car and hooked up to mine in less than a minute. He like, built a sand castle and was like, it looked amazing and there were like three tarts and he did that in like 35 seconds.

I forgot what I was talking about but I was amazing. I can't get any of the others. It was so funny. She knows basically saying all this stuff and every time she says something, like almost verbatim, they were flashing back to her saying it. It was amazing. And Ariana's like, uh, TMR too much Rob. I'm so sorry if he's daisy.

I'm not gonna. Everybody just starts repeating themselves. Yeah, she was like, yeah, Rob did like this around. So my dad's was like, amazing. Like you have to come over. Listen, I'm talking, Kristen, I'm talking. Chris, he did surround sound and it wasn't even the speaker kind. Like the TV show came on and then he started saying all the lines from it

and different parts of the room. Like, it wasn't something that my max. It's like, I remember when I was a little like a one-up watch the Golden Girls and like it'd be like, da da da da, thank you for being a friend. And then at the bottom it's that in stereo sound were available. And I was like, what? And now I get it. Chris, I'm talking Chris, dad. And then on the bottom it's that in stereo sound were available and I was like what and now I got it Christian talking

Christian is yawning in her face like Sorry, I'm wearing carnival stripes Tom's like well, it seems like a good time to call Lisa Vanderpump and tell her we all know about her copy right infringement on this restaurant title I Donald Donald He's like, he's like hello, the commander pops up. Hello. Who is this? Who's this? Tom I like from sir Oh, don't I like from sir. Oh I'm not familiar

Not familiar. Oh My god So yeah, and then Tom's Tom Schwartz like I wish I had leases phone number, but I'm too shy to ask for it Because I'm just a cute little kid. Oh One day short she will have it together enough You know my bowling age recipe which I would text him through a phone number. It will be Google Voice until he learns more. So Jackson, Tom, go to the bathroom together because you know Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson needs somebody else to fight his battles because he doesn't want to give a tactic in by the girls.

So he's like Adam and then they decide to jump on a skylight together, which is just basically a huge fuck you to Katie. Well, but it's yeah, I thought that too actually. I was like, that's weird. And also, what were they expecting to happen? They're like, hey, let's jump on this because there was a skylight over the kitchen. Let's jump on this. So they're testing it, right?

Like, hey, because let's see if this works. Because guess what? If it doesn't work, you're crashing through the glass and landing possibly on a hot cast iron skillet that saucy through there. Yeah. And, um, that would probably look better for it, like, to be honest. I just don't understand the end game on that. Well, I understand Mexican architecture a lot better

because you know, they're like, Americans are gonna be seeing this. So we need to make it really strong. That's true, I'm gonna force it. Because every single one is gonna jump on it. Yeah. And Americans are not light. So, yeah, so Jack starts telling Sandivall

about the whole Sheena Adam situation and you know, it sounds kind of like, that's so fucked up dude. It's really fucked up. Which it is but Jack started it. Yeah. So Tom is like they're obviously the together like she made the choice to stay with you which God bless her heart like what a dumbass but so she made the choice. Let her just be a dumbass and peace. And Jack's just keeps wiping his face really oddly.

I love that Jack's confined some kind of twitchy drug wherever he is. At this point his eyes are just basically slitted, crossing, and he's wiping his face crazily. Hey, he's just riding that high of jumping on a skylight and not breaking. He's like, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good like, um, litmus tests. If you can jump on a skylight and it doesn't break, you know, you're still, you still have potential. So now we get the James Bullying story. Yeah, where we're basically Lala wants James to share more of his experiences and he's like,

well, you know, Lala does know me best and Kristen's like, or the one you live with me. I'm like, oh my god, I keep forgetting that they used to date. That was like a season where they dated. I know. He's like, he's like, he's a door I can spit on. Did shut up bitch. So basically, we remember who James is, right? I love that they, I love how they're trying to change us all in that.

So I was supposed to, I mean, I guess you can be bad one day. You can be bad one day and then good another day. Well, I fell for it halfway. I fell for it. I was, I fell through that skylight of emotion because basically we learned that he was really bullied, like aggressively as a kid, to the point where they like, the bullies broke his leg and he was bullied

for his chin, for his ears, they said he was gay. And honestly, in that moment, I actually could see little James. I saw him as this like skinny, little dweeb that people would make fun of. And I actually, my heart genuinely broke for him. Like it really, really did because, you know, we make fun of him a lot and he acts immature

and he's so brash, he does these awful things. But, you know, when you hear these stories, you know, you can certainly, it doesn't excuse his awful behavior, but you see see where it comes from you see how he's acting out to try to feel some sense of of like power that he never had like a some sense of manliness some sense of self worth that was taken from him and I like it doesn't he he listen there a lot of people are bullied and they don't act the way James does So it doesn't excuse the way he acts, but I still I still feel terrible for what he went through like that's That's just what breaks my heart. I hate hearing stories like that

Yeah, and I also hate that they'd got him off of whatever he was to do the stocking hit whatever he was on to do these talking heads Because obviously at this point he's just going through with Jarls because he's if you think about all of the crying he's done in his talking heads he's been basically crying in the studio now for a full day. Just like everything they bring up he's like my dad. Good. Bullying. Which I feel for it but at the same time I'm like why is he suddenly sobbing they probably just started switching out his meds with something else. Like they do want unreal, but they're like, make it break down.

Let's get a day of interviews where James is just sobbing about something. Probably and good for them. Yes. Spread it out. So Christians like, yeah, you know, be kind, right? He's like, everyone. Be kind. And then they look at each other like that glimmer of understanding between two people, but in a relationship and might possibly get back in the pot together and all the ingredients mix together and they taste delicious and then you say is that

beef in this? No, it's not. It's like it's like two eye boogers both felt one from the left eye, one from the right eye. They both fell down the cheek and met below the nose and we're like, hey, it's about time we came together. And then the nose, just like some big thing of snott comes and just push them all off. So Sina is going to pretend to be like a really good person right now, because she has to know what's coming for her at this point.

She's got a pretty big ball in motion. She's like Indiana Jones running very, very slowly from the ball that's about to crush her. She's like, Rocky, I'm gonna run this ball in under seven minutes. But I'm just gonna walk. There's this totally a ball coming from me and it's like, why are someone rolling a boulder at me?

Like, why don't you focus on your own boulders? And if you're gonna roll a boulder at me, I'm gonna roll a boulder at you. Okay, that's her getting fled. Ah! So she's like, okay everybody, like, Jack's you brought us here together in Mexico and like, are you better know how lucky you want to have this girl? And if you go to Tampa, we're going to all go see you.

Pazre Lovio and we support you and we'd never do anything to undermine you. So then we get a shot of street shopping where Katie is trying to play a big dick flute. Yeah. Thing. It's a penis flute. It's an actual penis flute. It's a sheet in the shape of a penis. And then let's see.

Stasi is still complaining about, oh, now she's talking about how Tom number two blacks out. She's like, listen, no one likes drinking more than me. about uh... oh now she's now she's talking about how tom number two blacks out she's like listen no one likes ranking more than me pino grigio a s britney has pbr's for breakfast james is taking off your bottles with his mouth uh... but we don't like out and then they just show tom with the dick flu

and in fact i'm actually uh... i just happened to look on to uh... instagram right now and two judge e-girls they have a gift on instagram of tom with the dick flu And in fact, I'm actually, I just happen to look on to Instagram right now and two judgey girls. They have a gift on Instagram of Tom with a dick flu on loop. Literally, as you said that, I saw it and it's very funny. It's a nice thing to take it. Those girls are funny, man. They really are.

So Tom and Shina and private now. So Tom's like, so I heard that you just ripped me out. I just happened to be on this skylight jumping up and down and we're on the skylight, because you took it right now with the first man ever made in the Bible. She's like, well, it's a try to have a good time. I was like, hey, I don't want to make something out of your

rib. Get it? He's like, oh, she knows exactly what she's doing. And it's, am I fucked up? Yeah, so Jack's joins in in the conversation and she knows doing double talk, trying to cover her ass and everything and add, Jack's like, I hope all the bar backstage

that have a crush on Brittany, because she's mine. I own her. Let's go to the sky, like, you know? Yeah, he's like, I look better if they want a fucker. You know, you know, the problem is, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pff I said she knew he was coming, not when I was a day. Ah! I was like, this is typical Shino. Put your hands in the cookie pot where it doesn't belong. I was like, I don't think I understand what that means. Jack's always burning his hands trying to make cookies.

Haha. Haha. Go in the cookie pot. Ow! I put my hand in the cookie pot, it doesn't belong there. She would too. Hi, welcome to the problem. I made just some cookies. Ow! I put my hand in the cookie pot doesn't belong there. She would do She's totally stirring the jar

Robert I tell my hands a lot since a minute. He can like he can make cookies on a sunset. It's amazing So she knows totally got now and The note though she doesn't care because she's like well guess what? You're the one who tried to undermine my relationship with Rob, so this is what you get paid back to bitch. And I was like, you know what? It's petty and immature, but hey, it's vanoprom brules, and then vanoprom brules, I applaud her. I just wanted her to see that there were other guys out there.

I just wanted to find her a smile. Oh. Went to a smile, messing Oh. One for smile. Massing, right in a smile. And the Britain is like, hi everybody. It's like, dammit. It's not gonna work. It's half for smile.

Dammit. So then, yeah, so then, you know, Jack's just talking about Adam. And he's like, look at his life and look at mine. Okay, look at them. You're a dishwasher. Be gone. I'm like, you're a aspiring hockey social media person, which is, there's nothing wrong with that,

except for the fact that yours is just like a Craigslist notification that you're treating like a job interview. Yeah, and then he starts fighting with Brittany because he's like, Brittany, come over here. It's like it's not complete until you yell at Brittany for something she didn't do, you know. So she's like, well I just didn't know. I mean Adam was here. I don't know. I mean, I guess he said again to Quash out here, whatever. And he's like, yeah, well, if you wanted to leave me, you would have

left a long time ago. And I was like, well, that's actually true. It is true. And he knows that about her. And that's why he will always have the power over Port Brittany. Even the broken clock is right. Cup times day. That's right. That's right. Like five times a day right? Isn't that how works? Is that how time works? That clock looks like a dinosaur Hey, there's a bird in that clock Anyway, put that bird on my head. I'm waiting till 12 o'clock Yeah, we noticed how that can't never makes eye contact with you The kuku pops out it's like

Seriously seriously seriously seriously And that brings us to the end of And that brings us to the end of Vandapumproos. Yes, so that was a really, really fun episode. We're gonna be back tomorrow to talk real housewives of Beverly Hills. Be sure to buy your tickets to our Irvine show next month. April, April 15th. We're gonna talk about the naked ways to dinner party from real housewives of Orange County It's a class like episode and we'll have some fun stuff there to give away

So um y'all have a great great evening go to watchcraftens.com to get those tickets by the way and to do all sorts of other stuff like get a merch Which is running out. We're almost done with our merchandise and Yeah, that's the best way for the that merchandise go do it. We will talk to you guys tomorrow Bye Hey prime members you can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry dot com slash survey and add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast.

Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.