Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Credibility Is Dipping Out

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

The Vanderpump Rules season is hurtling towards the finish line, and it's just getting more cringey with every episode. This week (S10 E13) finds Sandoval attempting to lie his way out of his affair by repeatedly using the phrase "dipped out." We're onto you, jerk! Also, yurts.Hey, watch along with us with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/crappens-on-2044-82487428See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

I'm always doing UberEats. This is the perfect sort of membership for me. I use this all the time. Some restaurants charge so much for the delivery fee, and I order a ton of food. I've saved hundreds of dollars using this. One membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. Join Uber 1 today. Go to uber.com slash Uber 1 to learn more. Zero-dollar delivery fee and percentage off discount subject to order minimums and participating stores.

Taxes and other fees still apply. Introducing the new audible original breakthrough. The genre redefining audio only series that strips away the superficial to reaffirm what matters most, pure talent. Featuring celebrity judges Kelly Roland, Sarah Bareilles, and host David Diggs. Here every step of the musical journey has five underscored musicians battle through a series of high stakes singing and songwriting challenges for one top spot. It's musically gifted as they are artistically unique?

Each finalist is driven by the same dream, to become music's next must listen. But to break through they'll have to dig deep, pushing their vocal, songwriting, and recording chops their absolute limits while keeping their feet and emotions firmly grounded. So who will break through? It's time to find out! Join Kelly, Sarah, and David on a musical journey unlike anything you've ever seen. This is Breakthrough. Listen on Audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Go to audible.com slash breakthrough. Follow along using hashtag BreakthroughXAudible. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is

What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on this very special Vanderpump Rules Recap Day. Mr. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well hello, Benoony Toons, how are you? Wow, I am great. I'm just riding on the high of Vanderpump Rules season 10. It's just such a crazy season every episode, especially now as we're just like closing in on like the scandal of all of the season. It's just it's like every episode is like so cringy and crazy. Oh my goodness, it's wild.

How about how are you doing? Yeah, a lot of hatred flowing through my veins, which I love, you know, I thought I had one that, that's like my energy. So I feel great. Yeah. But yeah, also I feel good because we are traveling next week. We are starting the last leg of arch.

We start in New York City and then we go to Washington, DC. We're going to be doing Real Housewives of New Jersey in New York City at the town hall on Thursday and then on Saturday we'll be in DC doing pump. So this next pump recap is going'll be in DC doing pump. So this next pumpery cat is going to be the pen ultimate episode and it will be a little late. So sorry about that. But you know what? It's going to be to a big booing crowd and that's what we love. That's the best way to do Vanderpump rules. Yeah, totally. So that'll be up next Saturday. And then in June we're going all over the place.

We're going to San Diego. We're going to St. Paul, Minnesota. We're going to Chicago. We're going to Columbus. We're going to Boston. And we're ending in Fox Woods. So here we are. It's really like the last six or seven shows of the tour.

And then after that, the tour is over. So if you miss it, you miss it. So please definitely come, come to these shows because it's going to be great. Also, this is, come to these shows because it's gonna be great. Also, this is gonna be your crap and on demand episode. Hi everyone, you get to not just listen, you can watch. If you support on Patreon, good, I'm gonna say a 93% chance that Mueller

is gonna go walk up on the sofa behind Ronnie during this episode. So, I mean, for that alone, you should get excited. So that's on patreon.com slash watch our crap and as well as our bonus episode. So, I mean, for that alone, you should get excited. So that's on patreon.com slash watch our crap ends as well as our bonus episode this week. The bonus episode is just like a chatty bonus about lots of things going on in our lives. So come join.

And then for today, wow, man of front rules. When I was watching this episode, I was wondering how, like, how is this episode supposed to be if Scandal All had not broken? Like, how are they going to edit it? Like, would they have included all this intrigue about Sandevol and Raquel, or would they have really focused on shorts and Raquel and Katie? Would that have been the emphasis of these episodes? I think they, it's obvious that they went back and recorded new stuff, right? I mean, this, all this Lala stuff, like suddenly Lala's, you know, Angela Lansbury and

Murder She Wrote and she figured everything out and Lala's just so fucking smart, she had this whole thing figured out. I'm not buying that for one second because that whole cast was so shocked when all of this came out. I'm surprised that now they're like, oh my god, they're totally cheating guys. They're totally cheating. So is that new or is that not new?

And people were just acting surprised. I'm not saying I know it's new, I don't. But just as a casual viewer, well, I guess not so casual. It just doesn't make sense. That's a formal viewer. You know, I was wondering that too. I was like, did they shoot this after the fact?

And then I decided, I was just like, you know what? I'm just gonna give myself over to her because I really did enjoy that entire sequence. But you know, at the same time, at the end of the episode, when Ariana is confronting Sandeval about like, why didn't you come back from this party or all the discussion about Raquel saying we knew. That can't be new.

That was from the time. That was from the conversations. And Lala was seen in that scene, figuring everything out, basically. So I guess my question now is why was everybody so surprised when this came out or were they not surprised, but they just wanted to cash in on it because, listen, we have a Vanderpump rules podcast. I'm not like, I'm not throwing stones at this glass house, okay? But, you know, they do cash in on it. She and I law live and shut the fuck up about it. So, yeah. So, I don't know. Yeah, I wonder if like, totally the episode was supposed to be like,

maybe there was some shade throwing it like sand of on Raquel, but it was all to kind of like, like maybe to make a Katie look bad, like she's like trying to take people down an effort to her shorts. I kind of like that was maybe what the initial tone of the episode was, but now they've really seems like they've obviously leaned into like, oh my goodness, here are all the signs, it's happening everyone, but we'll never know, maybe that's the way the episode always was all along. Yeah, we don't really know.

I will say Katie and Lala at this point are just like those people at the Murder Mystery Party, they're like the worst. You've been to one of those, right? I've actually never been to Murder Mystery. Okay, well, let me tell you, I feel like a house. Because of Bravo, I feel like I've been to many Murder Mystery Parties. All right, well, let me tell you, they feel like a house. I feel like a house because of Bravo. I feel like I've been to many murder mystery parties. All right, well let me tell you, they're the worst.

Yeah, because there's always those people. And you know what, I'm just gonna go ahead and admit it. It's me. They're always those people who are like, you did it. It was you. And I know it was you because you are an accountant and I don't trust accountants. Well, that's some other reason to murder somebody.

I'm like, you did it. And then they go around and they just started accusing everybody. So by the time they're like, well, that's some other reason to murder somebody. I'm like, you did it. And then they go around and they just started accusing everybody. So by the time they're out of people, so like eventually you're gonna choose the right person and ruin the whole night for everybody. You know? So I feel like they're kind of murder mysterying it up. They'll just still accuse everyone.

And then by the time the murder mystery is revealed because they've accused everyone, you it's like the broken clock thing, it's like, oh, you got it right. And then they can be like, see, I knew all along. It's like, no, you just chose everything. That being said, Lala legit made me laugh. Also, can we just say about broken clocks?

I need to just say about broken clocks. Everyone's like, well, even a broken clock is twice right today. Guess what, I throw the clock out. Throw the clock out because it's still a broken fucking clock. okay? So I'm sick of you, everyone using the broken clock thing like, oh well, broken clocks, yeah, throw it away, you've got a clock that works, okay? Well, or put batteries back into it. And also, by the way, if it's military time, guess what? Now your broken clock is only right once a day.

That's a 50% drop. So anyway, I will I will say Lala did make me laugh this episode, but we'll get that. See the, yeah, she had a good, she had a very strong episode. Yeah, glimmers of classic Lala for me. So the episode opens up like we're watching an episode of 24. Yeah. It's like,

so it's our house, summer house. Because summer house does this too, where they just show all the different cameras lighting up. It's like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do every waking hour to opening up shorts and sandies are also by the way, in a car now going off to the desert to go glamping. For Raquel's birthday. You know, this is her hero season. So we're gonna end the season with Raquel's birthday. And that's another question. I'm sorry audience for coming with all these questions

to a recap where we should know things. But another question, what was supposed to be the season finale? Was it the beach last week? Was it this? This week? Because this was a party, but they wouldn't give Christina's party the season finale.

No, no, definitely not. I think next week was probably supposed to be the season finale. It's probably, I'm going to assume next week is the opening, well, it looks like it's like the opening preview of something about her, which is funny because it probably originally was supposed to be shorts and sandies, which is why they were so dead set on opening on a certain day because that was probably the season finale date, but then they just sort of kept on going. You can always

tell on these shows when the season finale plan goes awry because of COVID or something. I mean, that's why I firmly believe last season on Orange County. We had one of the strangest season finale parties of all time, Shannon Bing. So, um, I thought it would be fun if we did a music video in my backyard. Well, we'll do it. The OC Reels. Ah! Look what? I want to celebrate my new chicken dish for the real Reels and do a song. Wasn't it like a chicken celebration or something? It was like it weird. An unveiling of the real for real for real chicken sponsored by Carabella and performances by the OC Reels.

I mean, it's like nothing made sense. So here we are in the car. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, dootot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot any effort at this point. Because frankly, I'm, I'm gonna cheat on all of you. Okay. All of you. All of you are better to be with your fucking bucket hats. Okay. Get out of here, Gilligan. Go on the, go on the side of the street with your fucking broken clock. Take your three-hour tour and we'll see you never. So, um, the original glampers. Gilligan. So, uh, they, uh, they, they, they drive off and the Lisa calls up, she's, oh, where are you guys going? And her call is like, we're going glamping for my birthday. Oh, wonderful.

Have a good time. Be sure to relax because you've been doing a lot of other relaxing that needs to be relaxed from. So go have a wonderful time. I wish I could go with you, but I don't you clamping. I do however to Lamping which is a nickel-lane lamp inside of a large and nickel-lane lamp inside of a large Nickel-lane do you need anything from us? We said Jesus Christ. Hey Lisa do if you want to come you can share a bed with Ariana Jesus here Lisa If you want to come you could share a bed with Ariana. She's your lead.

I should be there, but my presence will be felt because surprise I've installed a giant pendulum inside your car I can't drive at this thing So then she hangs up and she gets a It's like why does she get a Procalling to sayssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss to give a new hint, not to make open relationship jokes, you fuck. Yeah, we all know, for an open relationship, the proper hat as a bowler. So, Trixi is Trixi Monical singing her song, which goes something like, I like diamonds, I like playing by the ocean,

I like Rockefeller, dudes and football coaches, money money, that's my middle name, baby keep it sunny and make it rain. I, those could not be the lyrics, did I miss right those lyrics? I like I think here's our better mine is I like time and it's playing by the ocean. I like Rockefeller to and doing Poachin. I was like poaching. Who the hell wants to be with a poacher?

No, no, maybe just poaching some chicken to the side, like Rockefeller keeps it really good. It's a Rockefeller who really likes to poach, with like their food. I really like Rockefeller soo-fi-ting. But I also love the money, money, money is my middle name. I'm like, you guys are going to a desert to sleep outside. Yeah, this is not really about rich people. This show is about poor people.

Can we stop with the Rockefeller rhymes? I know. Please, like literally you're sleeping in a year tonight. And by the way, I was thinking about naming this episode, you're not people, you're people. But then I feel like Tom Tandoval says, dipping out so many times, I just have to come up with a pun with dipping out.

Because everything with him is like, oh, she was just like dipped out. And he dipped out, and I dipped out. I'm like, oh my goodness, please stop saying dipped out. That is Tom Sandomall's lack of English. He can't lie like a really smart person where you can tell because they start using two big of words. So this is just like his repetition

of just like a really lame, small word, you know, you're like, you're lying, that's your tell, Tom, okay, that's your tell. So let's go to Kuyama, Kuyama Oaks Ranch. Yeah, where we don't know. Nate, yeah, Dust lives with Nate. Nate's like, hey girl, welcome to the ranch, okay. This is my husband, time to eat ranch, okay? This is my husband.

Time to eat ranch bitches. Where the ranch? I like later when he's like, time for dinner bitches. I'm like, yes, I love sassy Nate and his husband, just getting a fucking plot of land in Palm Springs and being like, we're getting a portapoddy and a couple of tiles from Home Depot and calling this a fucking glamping location.

Bitch. Seriously, I know, listen, I totally support Gaze in the desert. Like Gaze are doing it for themselves. Would you better make it look like you're gonna end up? I know. We're ending up, we're gay, we're Palm Springs for life, so you better start getting used to it. That's the gay trajectory. You just wind up in the desert. You know, we're all like Moses in some way. But that being said, I mean, I feel like we've seen some glamping in the world of Bravo. And in the world of glamping, I'm gonna say this is a little bit closer to camping than glamping.

I'm just gonna say it right now. I feel like we need to get more of the gluh going on in this one, okay? No, this is cramping. This is cramping. This is cramping. No one had room. I mean, glamping at least you get a yurt. Where was the yurt?

There was no yurt. There was a literal, these were not real yurts. But they weren't like yurts, like you see where there, like here's a glamping yurt, and it's like a huge three ring circus yurt. It wasn't like the quicker things hanging down and gorgeous.

It was just like an actual like, like a functional, it was like you were really in Siberia in a yurt. things hanging down and gorgeous. It was just like an actual like like a functional. It was like you were really in Siberia and a yurt. And it's not like when they went to like have like I feel like in other glamping experiences, they've had actual cabins with electricity and beds, you know. So yeah, I'm just saying I think we could I think we could. Nate, Nate, you're a terrible glamping instructor, okay? These are terrible year-its. I hope that this show makes you famous and I have to save up for some real year-its.

I even have a link that I will send you for real year-its because I was like, I'm gonna start a glamping business. Do you ever tell you real year-its? That was my thing this year. I was like, I need to be a businessman. I think because of all these tricks, you monical songs that are like, I got money, money, I got money. I'm a Rockefeller, I think because of all these tricks you want to go songs that are like, I got money, money, I got money,

I'm a Rockefeller, I like sous vide. So it's like I'm still learning to sous vide things and I'm gonna start a glamping business in Texas where you just put a yurt with some air conditioning decorate the fuck out of it and then have it like a wedding venue where people come and they've run their yurt, you know, that was gonna be my thing. And I was like, great, yurt, how much could that be?

$20, and then I was like, eh, that's not, it's like buying a house. Fuck you, yurting. Okay. Yurt's, Yurt's, Yurt's are like a whole thing. My friend has a yurt in her backyard, and there's a lot of, yeah, I'm gonna be very fancy, because I discovered that you have to be a Rockefeller to get a yurt.

Yeah, yurt's are like, yurt's are high-local, because aren't there origin, like people in Siberia have yurt on the step, and that's like the world of a yurt, but now it's like, it is very goopy, it's very goopy to have a yurt, it's like a you go and get a massage in a year and then like you Guinness has turned into a year lady because you know she got so much attention over that skiing thing That I saw a lot of clips of of Gwyneth and she does I Guess things with lists are interviews with people where she doesn't like what we're doing right now just on zoom or whatever But she's like your mom were well or my mom any any our moms, the collective your where she's just like looking over the camera, you know, she's like,

the camera's really far below her and she's like, oh yeah, tell me about your moisturizer, what kind of moisturizer do you like? And she looks like she's become like a crunchy headed, a crunchy haired, yurt lady. I have to say, is it drawing goop? Like what is the goop do to you? You look like you don't dry it out.

Put in some white rain. So I'm gonna send Quenna some white rain. Let's just start with the basics of conditioner use. I feel like Evil and Goria is gonna start up a brand called Yurt. It's just gonna be a competitor to goop. They'll be like Yurt by Evil and Goria. And I'm looking, by the way, I'm, okay, I'm sorry everyone, this has to be discussed.

I have now gone and done a Google image search of Yurts. And there are a lot of these beautiful interiors, like Ronnie was saying, and I'm sorry, I am sorry, these are glamping Yurts. These are the one, the, sorry, the Nate, Nate, and partner of Nate, you seem like wonderful gaze who I'd be friends with but the Gert No, you wouldn't you run me over die because they've been trying to get over to their fucking Gert and it's like oh god

Made invited us again. I was trying to stop mom springs. I was trying to soften. No You think they have soft blows There's no soft blows in those here at some telling you those are hard blows because you're stuck in the middle of the desert you just want it to be over with and you're just blowing as hard as you can just to finish and I'm saying that your place is the land of hard blows. Oh I'm saying is these your tough chairs and they have beds and the words that we saw on TV there was like blankets on the floor and pillows which is probably authentic to like like OG urts in in 16th century Russia, but I feel like we're glamping. Maybe LaGuardia is not gonna invest in you

if you don't have some chairs in there, okay? Also, while we're speaking of Evelongoria, she should come to you guys how to do Yurts and condition your hair, because she's also like a clara. All right, let's move on from Yurts. I feel like there's a lot going on. Everybody Yurtz. I feel like there's a lot going on. Everybody Yurtz.

So, I love Yurtz. So they get to the Yurtz place. This is where we're at. So Nate's like, oh my god, back with our ranch. And she and he goes, I am so glad that everyone has 10 issues on. Because I feel like I should be in beats or something. And I was in 10 issues, but I was like, should I be in beats? And then I was like, see that everybody's in shoes on because I feel like I should be in beats or something. Man, I was in tennis shoes, but I was like, should I be in beats and then I'd be like,

see that everybody's in shoes and I'm okay with that. Yeah, I feel like so much better. Like, it sounds like a little fray, that'd be like an outlier with just like my tennis shoes, but like we're all wearing tennis shoes, which is funny because like, you know, none of us even play pickleball anymore, but I guess pickleball is different from tennis.

Anyway, happy your day. Ah! So, we have a listener who said, you know, thanks for your show, You guys, my husband just left me first pickleball partner in my life like sucks at the moment. And I would just like to publicly say to that woman, congratulations on getting rid of that pickleball fuck. And that should be your first clue when your husband, when your husband starts working out without you for no reason in a year. And then he just starts flank pickle ball with people

and you're not invited, divorce him because it's coming. I'm telling you, I learned that from Matt Lady, we love you, stay strong over there is the point. It's a mere left-spot support. So Nate introduces us to his boyfriend, Ricky. Poor Ricky never gets to say a thing. No, Ricky is just, Ricky is like, constantly opening his mouth to say something

and the camera cuts away. Poor Ricky, and you know he's the one back there making the homemade ranch and grilling the barbecue. Well Nate, it's like Nate's out front doing like, you know, high kicks and saying bitch. So, like, you're the, you're from the hard blows, okay? Nate, Ricky, Ricky from the hard blows, okay? You stay back here, I'm in front of house mate.

Okay, I'm in front of your mate. I'm letting you take care of everything Ricky. Do not say, I'm gonna introduce you, because it's flat, but if you say anything, I swear to God, it's back to hard blows for you. I'm getting a lot of like poker face vibes from Nate and Ricky. Like I definitely think they're the first

good two minutes of a poker face episode. So. Right, I'm literally in the middle of fucking nowhere. Natasha Leon's gonna show up, you know, like, Hey, I need to get into it. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty, and now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster

and more efficiently because you gotta keep the overall cost down. And thankfully, there's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs, and that is Zippercrooter. From pricing to technology, everything that Zippercrooter does is for you and what works best for you. And right now, you can try them free at zippercrooter.com slash crappins. Now, here's how Zippercrooter prioritizes your needs.

They've got very straightforward pricing, like no surprises, no twists and turns. Zipper Cruder's smart technology identifies the best matches for your job. Hire the best with the help of a partner who's all about you, Zipper Cruder. For out of five employers who post on Zipper Cruder, get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address to try Zipper Cruder for free that zippercruiter.com slash crappins. Again, that zippercruiter.com slash C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S.

Zipper Cruder, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronnie. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly.

Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the

planet. And it's meat! Plant meat! Correct! So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. We don't have any year. It's bullshit. I mean sorry. I'll work for you for three days for no good reasons I can hang around and solve a murder though With the random your murder that just happened because I'm the toss to the bones so someone gets murdered everywhere I go Okay, so Tom Saddifall is doing that thing or he's like, oh, that's your boyfriend, Ricky?

Okay, but what's your name, bro? Oh, it's me. Oh, yeah. Good to meet you, bro. Good to meet you. Okay, Tom. Yeah. So they have two yurt, one yurt has a king, one has two.

I'm such an asshole. One yurt has a king, one has two queens. I'm such an asshole. These yurt's have beds. Well, they have beds, but they have like, they're like, here's your, there's one king bed to share that's on the ground and then two, I don't know, they look very small. They mean, we saw them all. It's too dusty.

We saw them all lying down in the yurt and it looked fucking tiny. That's it. And the yurt's are solar generated. So I guess they have electricity. Okay, I don't know, you know what? I'm like a terrible yelp review right now. I'm one of those yelp reviews you read where you're like,

you clearly did not go to this restaurant. So take everything out of your... Well, I feel like we keep promising to move past yurts but we're refusing to move past the yurts. Like, you can't. Well, I thought we were done with the yurts but then I'm reading this information I wrote down. I'm like, oh, I'm speaking out of my ass.

These yurts have electricity and they've got beds in them. So what's my problem? Because it just looked gross. It didn't look fun. It didn't look glamorous. Having a bed is not glamorous. Okay, you need more than the bed. We're lowering our standards for this people.

I think I'm lowering the standard. So low that when I saw just a mere bed, I came, I was like, oh, it's nice. A sheen is like, well, I'm just, we're calm, I'm supposed to be a bro, but I'm not fine. I'm not usually a clapper, but I just don't like getting dirty. I'm like, you're married to Brock. What are you fucking talking about?

Of course you like getting dirty. That man, you know, that man comes to bed smelling like two days ago. So then Nate is like, now guys, we all I have pigs you can pet. That is not a reference to your cast members. And we also have goats. And we have one fabulous Elbino Turkey and she really rules those because there's that one turkey that is just strutting around. Like an old gay theater queen, you know, who's like, oh well, yes, I remember going to

the star dust lounge, the Burnup Peter's 1982, and let me tell you something. She was a delight. Well, that's where Turkey's gonna retire too, apparently, in Palm Springs. That's true. That's all those animals are sick and tired of the Burned Up Peter's story. They have to hear it every single time from that turkey. And my mom said, I'd never go past Oklahoma But here I am still here. I'm still here Brok Brock is like Raquel. This is a real or a animal crossing for you

So I hope are you animal crossing players are proud Raquel is is one of you. I know. I had mixed emotions about that. I like the refer, I like the shout out. I didn't like the association. So Rekel is very happy. And then shorts is like, so like, where do I pee? And Santa Claus is like, don't, you can pee anywhere. And then shorts is like looking around the desert and just like looking at different containers that he can pee into and like so excited.

But into people's shorts, it's kind of paralyzed by the show. They said the three cornhole setups. That was funny. And like with the dream things around it. So much for glamping. Yeah. So the Nate's like, you guys ready for critters?

Oh great, Nate. So we get to come pay you money for glamping and then we get to feed your pets too. Oh. It's like freehouse sitting for fucking mate over there. So yeah, there's like a very sad pig that's just like, oh god, more humans. And okay, I'm just gonna get on my side, pet me, enjoy.

And then like some ducks are running around. It's like a little, it's a cute little petting farm, I guess. It is cute or as I like to call them pet prisons. Fuck, you think they want to be out there and fucking Palm Springs weather? Nobody wants to be out there. That's crazy. They're like, fuck these gays.

Matt Turkey is ready for snow. It is like, I am camouflage for snow. It's not a metaphor, it's dusty hellhole. Now I have to call home. What am I in there, Tim? They're talking about the turkey balls. And Ariana's like, whoa, those turkey balls remind me of your balls, Tom.

And he's like, shut up, dude, my balls do not look like that, bro. And his horse is like, yeah, they do. I mean, I wouldn't know, but. Your balls look like that. Yeah, I know. My balls are really balls look like that. Yeah, I know. My balls are really nice. Your balls are really nice, well.

You got like turkey balls. So then, just a thought. Now, don't you think every time you see them, like of all the three sums that they've had together? Because that's basically what this episode turned all of this into, right? Is that this episode is like, oh, so it was a threesome with the Tom's and in all of the events as it later, like this one beyond being just

shorts and recal, not shorts and sand of all under cal or a bander pump says that later. And, oh, what a gross pair to have in a threesome. I took a gross pair of turkey balls or gross pair of guys or both. Really all both. Yeah. of them. Well both. Yeah. So now it's time to feed the animals. They all have pumpkins that they have to like smash on the ground. Brock of course like pulverizes his.

He's like, and he like crashes his and Ariana does what I would do, which is throw her pumpkin down on the ground and it just like bounces and rolls away. I'm weak. So they feed the farm animals, which is basically what this audience has been doing for a decade. I was going to say this is like going to the sur. You know? Yeah, this is what the service is slightly better, I would say. So now we go to La Las News Office, which is funny in concept, and then she's setting up all her merch,

and James comes over. Hi, James Sinsk, and he's like, hello, he looks wonderful in here. I know, cute, right. I'm like, it's just like an empty room with three of your books stacked up, but sure. So she's gonna have a robe shoot today, because she's got a new breath coming give them love a

rubs And they've got hurts She wants to lose them. Oh, and by the way, they've got her So she asked him how he is and he's like well my beach. They didn't really go to planned Did it didn't go to planned and she's like well listen? I didn't love the throwing stuff the drinks, but I'm just looking at shorts and it's like, well, listen, I didn't love the throwings of the drinks, but I'm just looking at Schwartz and it's like so embarrassing And don't even get me started on Santa Valls. By the way, you know that Rick Klaus slept at Santa Valls that night, right? And she was like, how do you know about this? She was, well, because Kitty called me last night's

He's like, oh Katie knows and then we see a black and white TV cam footage and it's like, oh, he won. And Lala's like, said, let's get the straights. A few days ago, Katie was at TV. She was at Vela Brossas, working on Sound, which is the chef Penny. Well, Arianna was back home at a grandmother's funeral.

So we come to LVP's kitchen and Katie's cutting her bread and her pub guaveava para. Yeah, she's like slicing it to me. Chef Penny making a return appearance after many years. Very excited to see Chef Penny are the sexy chef on Food Network star. Basically, she's very inventive, you know, Chef Penny is invented a lot of things. She invented a lot of things for the first time for the Sir and the pump menus. Remember when she invented salmon?

Yeah, exactly. And it looks like he or she's inventing sandwiches. This is basically Chef Penny. He's like, OK, I'll design you some sandwiches, Katie, and you can say that you made them. So yeah, you call on a pro, you know? I mean, I think it's smart that they're doing that. Because last week I was saying, I don't want to say

I'm much from somebody who doesn't eat bread or sandwiches. Sorry, Ariana, that's true. So I think it's smart when you call people in. You know, you call the professionals in. Like, what am I gonna clean out my own air conditioning filter? No, I'm not. And you know what?

I was happy because I've been saying, listen, I'm all for this concept, but when you guys can start attempting to make a sandwich, and now we are finally seeing a tomato being sliced. So we're on our way. And so Lala's like, so they're testing sandwiches when Ken walks out and drops the mother of all gossip bumps. And Ken, Ken just does drive by spilling of the tea.

You know, people get mad at LVP for being so manipulative, but look what she brings to the shows, you know. And yes, her team of players are getting a little bit rusty, but tempts, can's like 90,000 years old, okay, give the guy a break, but the woman knows how to keep

a show moving, okay? So say, Ken, Chef Penny will be there. So right when you hear her, claim to have invented the pitta, come in and drop the tea tea so he comes in and he's like I can't believe that Son de vol had rekel over I know can I know while ariana's away I know can I know in the jacuzzi is I know

And she stayed over all night. Yeah, did I do it? She gives him like a little cookie and makes him on the bat and then he just walks away. He gets the dog's like, all right, Mushy and Mushy and Flushy, let's go. So, he's like, Rookie Fluffy Rookie Lufa, Wheelabella Kitty Dog. Come on dog, this goes up. It's okay, he's like, how does he know this? And he goes, oh, I told him earlier and then I said come back in here and say it out loud in front of the cameras. So, so, uh, kid is a wolf and how do you know?

She was, oh, whoever cared was late because she was hung over. Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, that's my rewind sound. So then Lala is like the days before Lisa's doing a tasting for the new menu at Serz. Oh, now you're gonna do a new menu at Serz since the fuck when do you come out of new menus? When Raquel rolls up an hour and a half late.

So it's also just the premise of this is so funny because Lisa's having a tasting menu with only Charlie and Raquel and Guillermo and Diana and they're the only two employees that weren't being invited to this tasting menu. It was so bizarre and Lisa Guillermo and Natalie are sitting out a table like their American Idol judges and I guess Charlie is there too. She's on an edge and Ra Raquel comes in, does her like, her wave, buyer hip thing like, hi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

She does. She does. I'm like Raquel, if you're trying to cover up an affair, here's what not to do. Don't show up an hour and a half late because of your affair. On camera. Yeah, and then the way she stands,

she like puts one foot in front of the other and just like hands on hip hoses. She's like, hi Sorry guys Like you aged out of that can we just drop the beauty queen thing please? It's embarrassing So the bylaws say you were no longer allowed to make that stance. Okay, you were too old for that stance Yeah, please put down the boogie board and just come to work on time So I'll be piece like, why are you? Sit down and tell me why you're late.

We were trying to figure out what we were going to do about these goat cheese empanadas and we could have used your input for care. Oh, I told Chef Joe, if only there were one more person here, we could finally put that cabbage soup on the menu, but alas, they wouldn't do closed. So, Rick, I wasals, I overslept. I overslept. How would you even tell your boss that? Yes, of course, this is contrived for a show.

But if you shop 90 minutes late, you're gonna say I overslept at that point. When you blew a tire, you got robbed. You fucking got a real bus card jacked. Something, come on. Yeah, exactly. So Rick Hals, I stayed up late and I went back to Tom's place and we went in the jacuzzi with Schwartz.

Like stop giving the details to your boss. This is making your case worse, but thank you. Cause now we have something to talk about. What an idiot. God, this is definitely a person you don't commit a crime with. What a fucking idiot. Oh, and by the way, Ronnie, what I was gonna say

is you know what I was happy about with this episode? This is finally an episode where I really feel like, I can synchronize my current day opinions with my opinions of what's happening on the show. All season long, I feel like the show is painted Rikailas like an underdog, almost a hero, and now finally I'm like, okay, good, now present day Ben can be fully synced with what the show is presenting me.

Oh yeah, I'm actually a goddamn monster. That's just, now, Rickel is the worst. Rickel is the worst and she just put that post up kind of weaponizing, you know, as people often do on reality shows and in real life, whenever you get in trouble, you start using victim language and you know that's my like my least favorite thing in the world that people do and

Rekel started yesterday because she need this episode is coming out where she's finally the villain and we see how bad this stuff actually was because this is really bad guys So Rekel puts out this post This account was hacked and with the help of Instagram It has been reset and is now managed by Rekel's team for the next month while she continues treatment. May is mental health awareness month. So Rikkel has requested all of the posts focusing on raising awareness for mental health. Be a lot. Well, all others are not, you don't get to hide behind that. I'm sorry. I'm sure it is very depressing having the world hate your guts. But you know, stop doing hateable things. Okay. I don't feel for you, lady, and stop using mental health as some fucking excuse

and some weapon that people can't come after you and call you a dirty, terrible friend because we get to. Sorry. You open the door. Okay? Yeah. Look, look, I don't want Rakel to harm herself over this stupid scandal, but also the same time. I always want you to have to take up saying that because this is not your first time

of saying that, but you told me recently that that happened on Love Island. And I was like, oh, so that actually has happened. Yeah, like it's been, where are you going to that place? It's so dark. No, it happens. I mean, look, I do still think she's a very fragile person.

And I think that having the entire nation hit you is hard. We literally had like, we have like 40 people who were like we didn't like the way you talked about it in episode and I was like guys I'm retiring from the world but so it's hard and so like I don't want it a harm herself. I really really don't. I do think though that she has to you know like she like she participated in something that was very hurtful and terrible and like you can't hide behind memes or whatever. But I don't want her herself,

don't also want her to use these Instagram posts as it get out of jail free card. Also, I think she was syncing a pizza with Tom two days ago, so whatever. That's more pizza. I know, yeah, I don't want you to hurt yourself, but I do want you to become a car bad act. Okay, that, I think, I think in the end,

that would really be the perfect karma for all of this. This is mental health pizza, although it isn't that all pizza to be honest. So she's telling Lisa that she spent the night, okay, at Santa Valls, and Lisa gives us, looks like, and Rickale us like, oh, oh, oh, and Rick tells like, nothing happened though. I mean, it's not like dot, dot, dot,

is just, oh, it doesn't matter if nothing happened. There were no cameras, are you crazy? Why would you do that? It's just the fun that you did. It matters that you were there, and Guillermo Norddian and Norddali knew. How are we supposed to know what to put on the menu? If we didn't know if we were then

the jacuzzi with you in Tom and Tom. And she's like yeah it doesn't matter if anything happened, you were there babe. And Raquel's like I know it looks like I know it was just easier to sleep on the couch and stay the night. And Lala's like um if you are no Lisa, she can snip bullshit from a mile away. So first, she calls Santa Falls. Why, do we get an answer to this?

Why is Raquel offering up all this information of the first place? She's not smart. Okay. She's a really... You don't live with anybody from the cast. Just say, you know, why does everybody just say you went home?

Yeah, and also this group they are I think that like shorts, sand of all and Raquel think that if they are so obvious and clumsy with their stories that no one ever believed that anything's going on because last week shorts was the one who said, I think that Raquel is developing a crush on someone. It's almost like well he would never say that if he knew what was going on. He would cover for his friend for if he knew. So they're trying to do reverse logic, but I think it's just everyone's like,

mm, this is fishy. I think that they think reality start people and they're thinking of every little thing as a storyline, which kind of grusses me out even more because I feel like Tom and Tom are purposely trying to push this. We're having three Sims with Raquel's storyline as like their thing because like they're aging.

Tom really looks messy. I'm sorry. If anybody's seen a recent pictures of him, he's looking really bad. This guy Swarth hasn't looked good for years and I think that they're like getting off on making everybody think that they had a three-some with I think that they're getting off on making everybody think that they had a three-stroke with this girl. And they're just telling her, Cal, God, they're gonna say this.

Go out there. And she's just showing up like, here's what happened. We were in a jacuzzi together. And then I stayed with. Oh, God. Yeah. She's got such a great. I know it looks bad, but it was easier

to sleep on the couch than to get an uber and drive two minutes to my home. So I stayed the night. She was the one who I was. And then both times are laughing, right? So look, because, look, LVP calls the boys and she's like, hello, I'm calling you because Rikail has just shown up here in hour and a half late looking like a bag of shit empanadas, real ones, without goat cheese in them. And she says that she got wasted last night and had to spend the night at your house and they're like, ha ha ha, they're laughing.

And it's like stop laughing, both of you. Dude, we hung out for like a little bit and then she like literally dipped out. Like, you know, like, I don't know, well, I don't know. Like, she actually left early, you know, cause like she was dipping out. Like, you know what it was like? She was like, um, spinach and artichoke, you know, dip that you put outside, cause it was like dipping out,

is supposed to dipping inside. She was dipping out, you know what I'm saying, dude? And he actually says, Yeah, I don't know why she left early. And I'll be, he's like, hold on a second. So she didn't spend the night I said she dipped out which is true. She did Okay, just what does dip out for me?

Is when you like put your honey mustard on the table and then you just like drag a chicken nugget over it it's them out And then we go we go back to like we're going like we're going back and forth in time right now now we're back to Katie and LVP is still saying what is dipped out and Katie goes dipped out means that she left and chef Penny goes she left She left oh She's weighing in now Penny goes she bolted She's here comes one right now

And LVP is like, no, wait, she did stay the night. Is that what they're saying? Because she didn't dip, she didn't leave, she stayed the night. So then we rewind back to LVP on the phone. And she's like, so did she spend the night at your house? Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion Podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us.

Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Well look, I'm- yes oh no, talk yes dude I'm not dude I'm not dude I'm a partner of Nickelane how dare you. Dude I have people crash at my house like all the time cuz I am not dude. All right Lisa I have people crash at my house all the time it happens so when I say she dipped out I mean she dipped in doesn't I'm saying so she's like she's not people she's not just people your wife's away and she's a beautiful single girl who's aged out of pageantry I

Know Like where you get to mad like flicks his hair back like makes that look like I'm so mad right now Child you know and he's like and so short cuz it's not a thing actually In short, he's just like no, it's not shorts and recal that was so last week. It was literally last week's episode Now it's shorts and sandable and recalving just sort of like how Lisa van der Bump and nick Elaine are a thing together A brand you can buy Elaine by van der Bump and Nicolaine are a thing together, a brand you can buy, a lane, by van der Bump. He's like, do come on now! So then we go to Lolland James in the office, to our talking and James said, so yesterday I went to a smoking lounge, was

sand-of-all, and it was basically like a members-only smoking lounge, and he told me they were in the chakuzi for a little bit, me you know, oh listen, all I cared about was like, where's the coral on this jacket? You know what I mean? It's like, why would we have to wear these just to smoke? You know what I mean? So it's like, focus, James. We're trying to ruin reputation here. So, sand of all is basically like, salt, dune, let me tell you what happened.

So, like, we grab some beers and like, jump to my hot tub for a bit and then, Raquel, I guess what she did, wait for it. She dipped out dipped out So like obviously like shorts and Raquel spent the night and like their dogs were like there and like whatever And Jim's like huh? I thought you said that look at left. No, no, no She dipped out like she went to bed. I was like okay No, no, no, she dipped out like she went to bed. I was like, okay, okay, Tom, because before you said dipped out meant she left,

you specifically said that. I think I got it. I think I got it, because you know when you go swimming, you say I'm gonna go take a dip. So when you leave the pool, if going into the pool is taking a dip, leaving the pool is dipping out.

So she got out of the pool, dude, that's what it means now, dipping out means getting out of the pool is dipping out. So she got out of the pool, dude. That's what it means now. Dipping out means getting out of the pool. And he's so bad at this. He goes, no, she dipped out. Like she went to bed in my room. Oh, I mean not in my room. But like my guest room.

My guest room. Worst criminals ever. Worst. I was like, no, I mean like we had sex. No, I meant like, no, like she went and went to sleep in a separate room in a separate house. This is like an episode of, this is like a season of Fargo. Because you know how Fargo's just about the dumbest criminals to ever live. Yeah. Oh my god, that's exact. This, it feels like Reno 9-1-1 actually.

It's just like, is this a parody? So then Lala. So then Lala. Sandivos, go take a degenerate ass elsewhere, you're a mess. Wear the barbecue the over-labor days, and your girlfriend is at home because of her dead grandmother's. And then we see rewind, but Lula, Lula, she knows vlog footage. Are you vlogging fast? Yeah, baby, go to it, go to it, all right, all right, get it, get Lula working like a white girl. So Lula's like twerking. I'm gonna need everyone here at this cool ass barbecue to sign a release to be on my vlog.

Thank you. So Lala was like, this was the dope labor party, labor state party and there was a ton of people. Sheenath, Brock, Brickhouth, Santafoth, San Mermons was there. So then now we go back to Lala, Katie, and Lisa at a restaurant. So by the way, okay, this is making me feel like,

no, none of this was totally shot up the fact because I think these were like little parts of scenes and these scenes were probably meant for like something else or whatever and they realized, oh shit, we have all this stuff, we have to sort of like weave it together with this Lala thing. So now Lala, Katie and Lisa are at a restaurant and Lala's like,

so the day's, the Ariana's grandmother dies. Tom Sands of all came to the barbecue and I was at Newport and Ariana was calling him furious. He was like, okay, I'll come home right now and he was there for two more hours and he was with Kell all day's, longs. And then we fast forward again and Lala's like Santa Vos and Raquel were dancing alone at the Abyss. Then Santa Vos at a Labor Day parties with Raquel and Arianna just found out her grandmother died. And Raquel spends the night Santa Vos while Arianna starts to dance. This leads me to only one logical conclusion. I'm marrying a man with no neck who is rumored to be based

the character turtle on Entourage. It's like, OK, don't try to convince me that you have logic now. OK, too late. This leads me to one logical conclusions. Everyone should buy a give them Lala ropes. Available now on my web shop for $29.99. They have hooks. So Lala is telling James.

I think Santa Poth has a thing for Rikkalth. And James is like, damn, she goes, yeah, and Rikkalth, once she has a little too much to drink, because of course Rikkalth is gonna now act like, Lala is gonna now act like Rikkalth stole her man in Vegas again, you know, because it's all hooks up with everything that Lala has been cooking up this whole time. Like, she stole my nance in the first place. James, like, if Tom is being Rekel, I just, I can't even finish to that sentence. And Lala goes, the last time that Santa Vosk was talking about

a woman the way he talks about Rekelsk, was when he was talking about Ariana to the group when he was with Christenske. I was like, you mean before you were even in this group and you were just basing it off the TV show, but like, but you're right, but still. But not a bad point, you know, this is the right. But by the way, you weren't here for that, but you're right. This is one of those episodes where no matter how much

Lala makes you crazy or not, this is definitely an episode where you're like, yep, well, she's got, you know, she's just, she's trying. This is a long episode. I mean, like all season long, she's driving up. This episode is like, well, you know, I mean, hey, I guess I'm a Lala fan again.

At least someone's paying the fuck attention over there. I'm on, I'm on. So that we cut to a clip of Tom and Jack's in the smoking alley, sir, which I I love I forgot that the smoking alley is They smoke right next to all those cancer propane. I mean that always just killed me So they're standing there next to the propane and Tom's being over dramatic yelling He looks by the way like 40 years younger here and he's like I would just love to say to Chris and you know what we did it Yeah, but you know what nothing happened

And then we got the clip again. I'm like, yes, I'm gonna and I kiss once we hear it's go at the ball at the Golden Nugget in Stasi again going It's a golden I got it They're just gonna be airing that clip over and over again because they know that somewhere Stasi is watching it and be like I am Reliving my heart at the Golden Nugget ever since we got Bravo. So then we cut back to James and La La. It's like Tom and Ariana, stop my focus on their relationships.

And James says, yeah, but well, you know, that maybe that distance, you know, maybe that distance they've got like worked to them or something, she's just, no. I mean, do you really think that? And she goes, yeah, she goes, no. Something ain't right. And I think something's going on.

And I'm gonna call it, like I see it. James is like, so do we get to talk about my life-changing gig for Cascade last weekend? Or we're just never gonna talk about the Undisheed. No. And they're gonna bring that up again, huh? So then we go to, come on, yeah, Desert. And Rick Hells, like, she runs out of the tent, she goes, well, where are you guys? And they're gonna bring that up again, huh? So then we go to come on yet desert and Rikels like

She runs out of the tent. She says wait you guys. I Forgot my makeup bag. Are you kidding me? Very shorts like she knows like um Rekal how does it feel to me the only person here on your 20th sale? And Rikels like I love being the youngest. So they make a toast. Rickah makes a toast to being surrounded by good friends and good vibes. And this is exactly what she wanted to do for her birthday. And she's like, I feel like these are my true core people. These are my true friends.

These are the people that are looking out for me. That mean everything to me. Well, the balls on this one. Then why are you, what the hell? What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? That girl's husband, my friend. What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? You know, I still blame Santa Val Moore, but like, don't make speeches like this. You know, like, this is ridiculous ridiculous. Well it's scary because I First of all, I don't know that I'm a good judge of character. Here's what I know. I'm a judge of character Okay, obviously a very judgey and I couldn't usually sniff people out a little bit better and Raquel I've always said Raquel doesn't seem like she's thirsty to be on the show

She just seemed like, I mean, I've said this a million times on the show. She was just hanging out trying to keep warm by the pizza of IndieJ stand, you know? I never really got any impression that she was like really trying to make a splash and steal. And I just don't, I just don't get the impression that, like, I would never guess in a million years that she really fucked the tops. Even watching this episode I'm still thinking like so they can't to fuck that right right like she's acting

She's so good, but she's such an awkward person. She seems like she'd be a terrible actor, but She also may be just like Not very bright and not realizing like um Hey, you have are like betraying your best friend's trust right now and you don't realize that by making the speech that it's just so Craven and terrible of you. I just don't get it is it is it is I'm watching it and I'm like I Don't understand how people can do this Well, I'm interested to see one thing we have not heard and it does. One thing we have not heard, and it's very hard to surprise

people who watch this show because we've heard everything, right? The scandal of all stuff came out months ago now. So we already know what's coming. We know every little twist and turn, at least we think we do. One thing we have not heard is her side. We have no idea what her side is. So what is it?

I mean, I'm so curious. Like, did Tom tell you he was in an open relationship? Is that where you're coming from? Where you, he told you that don't worry. Like, we have a don't, don't say it and don't pay it kind of a relationship. Like if you don't find out, it's okay. What is she thinking? Because she's really believably? I just think it's not consulting. I just think it's really insulting that like, you know, she is participating in this affair while saying this,

saying this totally insincere, although I actually think she believes it. I think she believes it, but I just think it's really insulting. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think I'm saying this is the fairest the most insulting part, but then also saying this is almost like rubbing salt

in the wound and area to, it's making Ariana look like a total fool, you know? I think that's why it's so obnoxious. So anyway, so Ariana starts talking about her grandmother and how hard it was going home and not seeing her. And so she starts crying and rocks like, she's here with you, Mike, she's here with you. And she made her own rant.

I hold on there, all right. Which, having a serious scene here. And then we cut to sand of all who's just going like this with his face pretending to cry. Right. You're not crying. No one wipes her tears like that. Anyway, he's just like flapping his eye. Like flicking it off, especially not in the sandy area.

So Ariana Ariana is basically saying how it's been such a tough year with her grandma with Charlotte and she's just not doing well. And she's like barely holding on by a thread to be honest. And and then she. Ariana's like, so by the way, did anything happen while I was out of town and Rick Hell's like, oh, there was a food tasting for the new menu at Sir. I was an hour and 30 minutes late

because funny story of the night, but okay, dude, basically she dipped out. She dipped out. That's all we gotta know. Send the story, she dipped out. And Shorke's is like, I hear you look like a bag of shit, huh? And so Santa will tell us, after me,

it's very short for Kelly and I hopped to my car, back to my house, jumped into Jakuzi and listen to music, OK? And then Rickah was like, yeah, we went into the Jakuzi after we went out and Ariana's like, yeah, which is something we always do. Ariana is actually pushing her along to get her lines out, which is making me even crazier because you know this means Ariana and Tom

have already had this discussion where Tom's like, everyone's trying to make this sound bad, but it's not bad, you know, we're gonna spend some out of million times, it's just a big deal. Yeah, so Ariana's like, okay, so this we always do that, it's not a big deal, just get out your lines, okay? Yeah, because of course Ariana has okay, so this we always do that. It's not a big deal. Just get out your lines.

Okay. Yeah, because of course Ariana has gone through the witches of WeHo. She's suffered through that. We're like any small thing was whipped into a giant frenzy. So she's just like trying to like reassert like there's nothing crazy about friends going to Chakuzi together, but little does she realize. So we're kels like, yeah, and I stayed the night and I slept on the couch. And he ended up like, yeah, I was like, dude, go upstairs, go to the guest room. And but she's like, curled up on the couch. Which is funny because you also told Lisa that she was in the guest room, but now she's on the couch.

I think he because he's getting caught in so many lies. He must have told somebody already, yeah, she stayed over, but she slept on the couch. Or did Rickel say she slept on the couch. Someone already said that she slept on the couch. Rikelsa, Rikelsa, they had to start it on the couch. And then they had to move it. And then I said together, I'm like, where's Kira's sad drink? Because she just like just finished this right now. So she knows like, well, I'm a bronzer. She's working at pump now. Sorry, that pump closed. Do you know that, right? So she's closer. Yeah. I'm closer. I'm here to tell pump. It's up for right now. So she was like, um, Brock said you guys line and said like she didn't say the night and

shorts is like, oh yeah, well, um, because of optics. Yeah. So now we have another flashback of sand of all and with Brock and Peter after like the playing basketball or something. And Sandevol's like, yeah, I'm doing all that happens. Like, we came back, Raquel grabbed Graham and guess what? Guess what she did. I'll give you a hint. It starts with a D. It ends with a now. She did that.

She did that. She did that. And Brock's like, wait a minute. So who stayed over? She went home and he goes yeah and Swartz is like I stayed we had a little slumber party so he just flat out lied to them right right so then Santa Ball is like yeah on the hills of the open relationship We're on our own obviously shorts making out with Raquel and Mexico like we just thought it would be better if everyone didn't know that little detail

What's a big deal like the funny is, I wasn't even lying. Like, she went and passed out. So that's what I meant by dip-down. I was like, dip-down. It's the same as passing out. It's like she dipped out of consciousness. That's what I meant. I was fully gonna tell Ariana, like,

we shouldn't just told the truth. I'm so stupid, huh? So by the way, this is a classic criminal thing to do or like, or lie or thing to do, which is admit a small lie. So that way you look like a generally truthful person, but you still lie about the big thing. But the small lie admission builds trust somehow.

So then Broxick, well you didn't help yourself, did ya? And it's worth it's like, yeah, you didn't help yourself. Did you? And it's worth to like, yeah, we just made it worse. Boys will be boys. Broken clocks are right two times a day. And Rical is just sitting there smiling, doing a squint smile. Like, I hate all of you. Okay. I hate all of your guts. You're all bunch of crux. Yeah. So now, um, now it's time for the give them Lala bathroom photo shoot and woodland health. God's. So, um, Katie, okay, the girls are in hair make up. Christina's there. Katie's there. Uh, they have, they have robes. And, uh, Lala's like, I am so

proud of, of, to like, of give them Lala, like, I am so proud to give them Lala. Like, it's really what I rely on to support my daughter's and like, my kids, like, they wanna go college some days, okay? And this is what's gonna center my robe and pyres, okay? So don't make fun of it, shorts. So they pose, they front into the house, so they're like posing in the hills. And, okay, it's Katie who's reading the newspaper.

She's the only time to know. She's like standing there awkwardly with the paper open. Like, here I am, standing up outside, reading a newspaper. I was like, got Lala. Skies and dolls? Are you like an extra on guys and dolls right now? Lala, we know you, like your personality, right, from the show, and we know your vibe, and we know what Give Them Lala is.

Are you telling me your vibe is Katie and Christina reading a newspaper? Since when? They need to get some new people on this show for Lala to be evil with because those two just ain't gonna cut it. Maybe it was the print edition of Pucker and Pout. So now the girls are hanging out after their photo shoot and Christina's like,

so what did the Don and Satchel think about the other night and Katie's like, Satchel like couldn't understand why everyone was so mean to me. It gives us like a low-well. I think there are a lot of things Satchel couldn't figure out. So our Christina's like that night, the things that were they were saying, were like, so disgusting, and I generally think they wake up and they don't go, hmm, I shouldn't have said that. They're just disgusting pigs,

and I will be inviting them to my party. Yeah, and Lala's like, oh yeah, they met everything that they sat, and Katie says, no, it's like this vitriol coming at you and then send of all came to me And told me to take accountability and then we see a clip of Tom getting too angry being like you need to not take me All for who they could be but they don't for who they are trademark talk to Laura thinking very nice. She's like shut up bitch. I'm her trying to Bitch get a life for whatever she said so that we're back and Katie's like he shut up, bitch. I encourage trying to, bitch, get alive.

Or whatever she said. So we're back. And Katie's like, he's so hell bent on believing I'm spreading this rumor about him having an open relationship. Yeah, and Lolli says, it's not that far fetched. Okay, like I hooked up with Ariana in the back of the car while he drove.

Okay, and have we been in a bedroom? He probably would have participated. It's not that far fetched. And she's like, but I don't even, it doesn't even matter. I never said that. So why are they trying to pin it on me? And Lala's like, yeah, well, it's with them, it's out there. Oh, she's like, but it's out there.

And they think that you said it. So let's break it down really. He could have done it. Yeah. And Lala's like, you know, something don't smell right with Ritl and the sand of all relationship and I know better than anyone Then when you have a dude who's your best friend who's there during your best like during your worst times Okay, and then you add alcohols you end up sitting on their face Now that's your brand. Now that's what I mean. I need that monologue of the back of the road.

Okay, boom, sold. That's you. So then, guys, it's a variation of, I go, could get a little cold or whatever. It's like, could go, could sit on a face. So Christina's like, Well guys, I want to do a spring party in the back of Tom Tom because I have spring products coming out And I think it's gonna be really fun

And I think that we can have some drinks and hang out and talk about my new lemon scrub. I love a lemon scrub I love coming scrub. Can I got it? I would love that. I wish everybody could bring their mom We maybe I don't know. Yeah, you know what moms like what scrub? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? So you know what, I'm a T-Tile person. Me too. We're like girl bosses right now. Girl bosses right now. I have a money. I have a money. You're making T-Tile sandwiches. La La is making sit on my face roams. Girl boss.

This is women supporting women. So then we go over to the desert and come on your desert. And she is like, Moscow check out the other yard. I want to get a video from my vlog. Okay, are you vlogging, Ma? Yes, I'm vlogging, I'm vlogging this, all right. So she goes in with Ariana and they start talk.

So Ariana's like, okay, now you can tell me about Beach Day. Now someone else can tell me their version of this fucking Beach Day, so go ahead. Oh, okay, well, James and Schwartz were like fighting and then like James is like, how dare you? Like, bring up my engagement and then like, but then we went to a bar after which was like a nice bar But it wasn't cool as cool as the bar went to the other day where there was like free school see ball monies

Then we're like tacos and I had like a single taco But anyway, so Katie's like sitting there and then like Santa ball like in front of about like the open-race Sh-t-rumor and it was just like um no one here is getting anywhere anytime soon so Yeah, cuz Ali told me the other day that Katie and Timmy waited that you were in a relationship, that was the album. And Ariana's like, well, we don't have that kind of relationship and not to not gotten people that do,

yeah, cause I was like, even if they did, like it's so fucked up that you just told someone it's private, that's not Katie. And she goes, well, she did text me that day. We see the text from Katie and Katie's like, I don't know why this is spinning out of control. I didn't say anything, Jesus. And so, Ariana's like, do I want to believe it?

Of course, do I believe that she would say it? Of course, I believe she said it because she hates Raquel. But Raquel is just sweet. Raquel is kind and Raquel is loyal and just to delight since the day I met her. So that's all I've got to say about Rakell. I'm like, oh, God, you really can't ever trust anybody. I know. Gosh, it's just like heartbreaking.

And the scene ends, the Ariana saying, well, we'll find out, won't we? Oh, so now it's nighttime. Nighttime at the ranch. And Nate and Ricky have set up some barbecue food, and this one needs like, it's dinner time, bitches. I'll have a taco. No, there's no taco here. And where's the ski ball?

You're not in that food hall, bitch. Giovanni Darts, guys, I hate Darts. I hate those on here. That was a trick question. Brock, I think you're hunters. Yeah, that's what we're looking at your yards. So they, uh, yeah, they have homemade ranch dressing and then Rekeval, I would like a year closer to ski ball.

So that's what that's what we're in different. Brock wants a year, um, further away from child support. And I would like a year closer to ski ball. So I think we made all decision. So, uh, yeah, they are so happy about this homemade ranch and Raquel picks it up and promptly spills it everywhere, so that was great. And then when Jesus Bell is it, she goes, no, made ranch! So then Raquel is like, stupid Raquel spills a homemade ranch and poor Ricky can't even call her a dumb hooker because he's not allowed to speak but you know that Ricky's like I just spent all day

on that homemade ranch god damn it. So, recal, recal, they're eating and recal's like, hey, sand of all, you got something on your face and it's like glitter and shorts goes, that's such a red flag. If you have glitter on your face as a dude, I was like, shorts, it's just like trying to blow up the stand of all the spot. Is this what he's doing or is this the reverse psychology theory? What is happening with shorts?

I don't know. I can't tell. I think that he's making fun. I think he's teasing him. We both know you're fucking this girl now. I'm just gonna tease you. I'm gonna say it in front of her. They both think it's hilarious.

An area on it is like, yeah, cause we come in touch with so much glitter all the time. And Rickel goes, ah! And I quite Rickel. She's like, I bit my lip. Super Rickel. And then that last night, after I watched this, I bit my lip.

I was like, I've been cursed by Rickel. I hate her even more. She possessed my teeth. I noticed I didn't call her an idiot because I'm constantly biting my... I mean, my tongue's too big for my mouth. We all know that. You hear me talk.

But I bought my tongue constantly. I bought my mouth all the time. Yeah, I'm in the post-mouth bite phase right now where it's swollen up a little bit. So now I'm biting it more like it's more prone to be bitten. It's like the worst. So, shorts is like, bits and I'm biting it more like it's more prone to be bitten. It's like the worst. So um, shorts is like, that's only going to exacerbate her taste for blood. I don't

want to kill the vibe, but Rakell has a type. So Brock, Tom, be careful tonight. And they all start laughing. And Rakell's like, what? What a type for what blood? A type for blood? Men who are taken, dummy, because oh, I thought you were talking about vampire status. And Ariana's like, oh, it's a little squirrel. Sorry, I got distracted. Ariana's like, okay, you guys are being stupid. So Raquel, what was your peach of 27 and what was your pit? So Raquel's like, I'm not sure if I understand the question,

but the peach was probably a peach I ate and the pit was probably the pit on the inside of the peach. Okay, Rick, let's try that out. Actually, the peach was James because it was a giant peach and I got to break up with them and I had the balls to do it. And then I met you guys through that and then we created our own friendships. And that is super special to me. And I appreciate each and every one of your friends' subs. And Santa Claus, like seeing your confidence

and seeing how you show up as you're like showing up to Laos party and like doing all this bad ass shit. I'm proud of you, Rick. I'm fucking proud of you. You've come into your own mother's fatter. Yo, it slams the table. Rick's here. Did you please go out there and ask him not to slam the table? They've already spilled my ranch. Please, Nate. I don't make many asks of you, but just this one thing. Now, don't turn around while I reset this gun.

Procre-face. So, um, they're like cheers to 28 and she was like, by the way, everyone, Christina Kelly is having like an event at TomTomTomTomorrow. And she's like, just texted me and I'm like, like she said, Hi, I'm having a little event for my like skincare brand called Hot Spring Tomorrow. And like you and Brock in summer should come by. So I just want to announce that to anyone. So that way, if Enkate's

no one was invited here, you all felt bad a little bit. Okay, thanks. And because I haven't been invited, and short says that she could be his day, and everyone's like, ooh, it's like, oh, it's just kidding, I was just kidding, guys. And Rikou goes, yo, okay, I would love to come as your friend date.

I guess, hand is my real date. They fist bump. And then, it comes in, he's like, children, by the buy Todd bitches! Natasha Leo and it's like tending to the bonfire. Yeah, I mean, for three days, gotta figure some shit out. Actually, they could actually use her.

They could really use her for this scene. She would get to the bottom of the scandal all before everything. Everyone else. Well, it would be that kind of mystery because we already know the ending, right? Yeah. How that show is, you already know the killer, you're just watching how it all before everything. Everyone else. Well, it would be that kind of mystery because we already know the ending, right? Yeah. How that so is.

You already know the killer. You're just watching how it all went down. This whole format is very poker face. It is like we really need her to just like sit everyone down and be like, okay, guys, before you go back to Los Angeles, let me tell you something. He's fucking her. She's fucking him. You have no idea.

And these two idiots, they just have a vlog. Okay, great to see you. So their big bar time is just sitting around a fire because it's, I mean, what do you get to do? It's a yurt, right? So they're outside. And Raquel's talking about how she has pressure from her parents to make something of her life.

And Arianna says, but what about pageants though? She says, I'm aged out of pageants. And that was a big dream of mine to be Miss California and to be a role model for girls and women. Well, she's really kidding me. Listen, she's doing great work. Doing great work in the real model front. So, yeah, she's like, she wants to be

a role model for girls and women and all that stuff. And she said, that was a big motivation. And I made sure that every aspect of my life was consistent. And I was never going to fuck up. That's what I'm like. And she's saying this on camera. Yeah, she's like, and I was always a good girl,

but now that I've aged out of pageants, I don't have to worry about my reputation. So honestly, I think I'm, you know, I'm making up for lost time. I was like, that's not what lost time is though. It's like you're not gonna be Miss California, so you just do this. That's not what that means.

And my note is, so that's why you said you wanted to work with disabled children or whatever. Okay, okay, I get it. That was your trying to be Miss California, and that's why you didn't do it because you aged out of the fucking pageants. You fucking transparent asshole. That makes me so mad because remember during that time, everyone's like, oh my god, Rickel's so sweet. She's not even going to come back to Vanderpump rule. She's going to be working with disabled children or whatever her whatever her thing learning disabled whatever it was last year where she was like the big hero she's gonna go off and work and do something noble and it all turned out that she was just saying that so she could get further in a fucking beauty competition you know fuck you you're like the worst the worst part of Los Angeles ma'am okay. Okay. So Ariana is like, she's saying, you never know.

Well, Thomas. I think Thomas is the worst part. But you're fucking, you're fucking the worst part of Los Angeles. Okay. So Ariana is like, you know, Tom is the Von Dutch store and she is the one who goes in and buys the hat. So Ariana is saying that Raquel is going through all these things, through the things she

did after breaking up with James and going through all these things, through the things she did after breaking up with James, and going through all that stuff, she's showing that she's even more, even more role model behavior than she ever could in a pageant. And then she hugs her, and it's like this really nice scene where Ariane is being such a good person for her. And then Raquel's like, she has a monologue, where she says, a crazy thing about pageants is that you have to have this career path put in place and you look ahead and you see that career and then you put a boogie board down on the stage and you just try to keep your balance to make it all the way there. So like I think my entire life was like right now for me and a very young age and it just scares me I'm so sorry that you were from a wealthy

rich fucking family that put you in beauty contests and Promise that you would always have enough money to go to a great college and become whatever you wanted So you could win a fucking beauty contest. Stop your fucking smiveling, you crazy. You're a thin white lady with youth in Los Angeles. You literally won the lottery, shut the fuck up and get to work. Whoever wrote out her life should be fired. I'm glad the writer's strike is happening now

because that writer cannot be working. So although I support the writer's strike. So then SantaVall, he's like, we're tell Ariana and I got you a gift. It's a vintage Versace thing from like 1990. Here it is. And Schwartz is like, oh, I feel bad.

I didn't get you anything like classic Schwartz. Can't even show up with the gifts for someone. Yeah, we know, Tom. So, Rekha, it's okay. You can give me a kiss. There's a call of sea. I'd love this, this is just such a light-hearted banner about the other people in my life

of like really vilified me guys. Like they're calling me Bob Allaban. Ha ha ha ha. Um, the people that are vilifying the kissing, like that's something is like really fucked up. Also, what does vilifying mean? Does that mean like the kissing happened in a villa? That's something is like really fucked up. Also, what does vilifying mean? Does that mean like the kissing happened in a villa?

Oh, well, maybe you shouldn't come to bar to this event. Even though I did already invite you, oops, looks like I created another conflict. And she's like, are you serious? But I'm probably the only person on this show that loves scrubs. No, it's not the TV shows, the Christina Kelly's crew. Oh, so Ariana's like Katie's mindset is like shorts is rubbing it in her face. It goes, yeah, because we're like kind of a war and I don't know. She's not going to like that. I'm bringing you.

And she's like, I'll ask her. I'll call her right now. My first thing to say is, um, are you wearing tennis shoes? Because like, I was totally worried that other people were gonna be wearing, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Well, it was just sort of like a gentle sound and then it sounded like she put some soil into a planter. So I'm gonna say yes. So, Santa Claus is like, Who kids are fun doing out? It's so extra. Wait you angry.

He's like, Let your life matter. And so then, he tells us, if Katie's mad at you, you can't come to this event. If you say something Katie doesn't like, you should call and sick at Sir, cause she'll be there. Mary and Kachebs with bitterness in her eyes is very entitled.

So that's- While you're correct, while you are correct in that, you suck. You're wrong. You're terrible. As you guess, you're wrong overall. So no points for you today, Sir. And for me not to give you points when you say something anti-candy

You've really fucked up. So congratulations you pig. So one thing that I do love about the show are the little love island Easter eggs Because very clearly Shina and Ariana watch love island because she goes I got a text Which is like thing they think they say in love Island all the time So that made like that warm my heart hearing, she knew I got a text thing. And she's like, Christine, I got all he says, yeah, she can come. So all is like,

all is, everything's turning up for Kale today. She gets invited to the heart spring party. So now she, it's like later in the evening, she's got her little, her star projector and her yurt going strong. And she's just like crying on her bed. Cause she's so happy little her star projector and her yurt going strong and she's just like crying on her bed because she's so happy you know she's like and this is like the most incredible birthday I could ever have right now um fuck you so then um I think this was supposed to be the season finale that's my guess really I don't think so

because this party is like the soap opera party at the end where they start forcing everybody to talk to each other. You know how they do that? They're like, okay, James, go up and talk to Raquel. Now, Raquel, you're gonna have a woman empowerment moment and that's a branding the season. Like, seeing like they were tying. Well, I just don't think they had very much else

because they couldn't do it for Raquel's birthday party because they have to cast hate's her. Sheena just had her wedding, so you can't give it to, you can't give Sheena another thing. Ariana's not celebrating anything. I mean, Katie's sure as shit not gonna do anything. So like, what are you gonna do?

You know, I think they wrapped it with the Christina Kelly party. That's my guess. We need to ask somebody. So, Mom Terry is over at Katie's apartment and she's like, wow, Katie, talk about full circle. You worked for me for so many years. And now here I have to work for you at your sandwich shop. Ah, Katie's just like,

he's like, yeah, about that sandwich shop thing. Have you ever made a sandwich? Could you make some for us? We don't really know what to do. Actually, we're thinking of calling it Baja Cantina. We're thinking about calling it her Baja Cantina. Would you mind slipping those recipes into my first things? Something about Baja Cantina. So, then we see Lala walking with a husky voice lady

who turns out to be her mom Lisa and they're like walking around Lisa's like so I mean Lala says I've been like talking to that boy white bump peepees with Lisa's like Oh, oh god. What have you guys been talking about? Do I even want to know and she's like yeah, she's like do this It's like I mean is it gonna every time you guys talk every time you talk about I'm always like Yeah, that's what he does to me. I should go stop that. Lala, listen, just trying to navigate. She says, what are you trying to navigate the camel tough? What the fuck kind of relationship is at least is like, so draining.

We got to, we got to Allie and James and They're taking their cone off mr. Banks who finally gets to scratch his neck their cat And he's like so how'd you feel after beach day? It's doing is like on Pouty soba James. Yeah, good boyfriend. I just pout in your face Look deeply at you and pretend I cover a patrol feelings and allie's like I mean, I didn't even get to see you like Like, you were fighting with Lala and then fighting with Schwartz and then screaming and running into the bathroom and falling over and hitting your head on a bathroom saw because you thought you had rum in your eyes. So I didn't get to see you.

You were fighting with Lala, you were fighting with Rikal, you were fighting with Schwartz, you were fighting with Scorpion Bulls. You were, remember when you accidentally dumped that guacamole in your eye? That's a lot, James. It's just a lot for one day. And you're like,

yeah, you puckers a mouth. Like me to a bear with you. Because sorry. So then I like, you embarrassed yourself. And there's like obvious anger. They're like, what do you mean there's no anger? There's a anger behind what I said. What I do, I'm like, I'm a very cold person. Very cool. I'm a happy person. Who's in love?

Yeah, she's like, yeah, then you act like that. So you see how that's confusing to me and he's like It's not that feelings for a recalor, right? It's just I'm losing my friends. Schwartz has done first of all You know, and then then they go send a vote because all he can fucking think about is having his boys back And I'm set I'm set about it. You know, like all I've got left is fat max. Next beach day, I'm gonna sit there one out. Well, then I'm gonna sit you out, too, because I'm up, be too tired, because I just perform for cascade.

If you'd like to ask me any questions about it, I'm all open, like, next scene. So now we're at Tom Tom, and it's Christina Kelly's Hearts Bring Event and everyone's showing up. It's Lala and Logan number one and then Christina's like oh my god Lala you got the chic memo you're so chic it's fun. Yeah so they start talking about lip balms it's like a really fun it's a really fun moment. So then Shina comes up to La La and Katie and Katie's mom. She's like, hey guys, oh no, that's Swartz. Sorry, it's the abbreviation is the same for both sometimes. Shush, shush.

So Swartz goes up and he's like, hey guys, how you doing? It's me. Tom Swartz, remember? It's Baba. So what do you guys want? Do you want something? Do you want something, La La?

Do you want something, Baba? Do you want something, Baba? Mama a lot of you want something papa do you want something papa mama mama Mama papa and Lala's like I'll take a diet coke Thomas Say order drinks for him and he goes to get them and he's like Katie is giving me the coldest shoulder ever in Schwartz World We would have just sat down they would have called me a dirty little slut and the movie to fat some laughs But I guess I'm gonna stand a little doghouse for now. So yeah and basically Laos like Katie do you think you'll ever get to a place where

it just be like you know it's all good and just keep mad distance and she's like if you apologize is which probably will never happen sincerely because it's shorts. So then SantaVall and Ariana and Raquel arrive as a trio. And Lala is like, this whole dynamic is so strange to me. Now we have SantaVal, Ariana, Raquel showing up together. Like, maybe it's a thropple. I feel like I've taken a hit of Essence. So then Raquel just walks up really awkwardly to the three of them. She's like, um, hi Katie.

Hi Katie. Hi Katie's Hi Katie. Hi Katie. Hi Katie's like hi. Yeah. Hey Tom. Could you like make me a madam butterfly? Whoa. Cause he's like, do you want a drink? She's like, I have a madam butterfly. Whoa. I can't make that. I mean, I can't make it. I just don't want to. I was sort of hoping you'd say some tap water. Okay, so I can't make drinks in my own bar But he's talking about also a madden butterfly. What a depressing name for a drink Especially when you're like the tragic heroine and a terror and a love story gone wrong

I really don't love that she ordered that on TV. I don't think that they understand how that they know do they know that It's like oh hey, here's a new cocktail. It's called the Iida enjoy. Oh, and so I'm like, thank you. Thank you. Finally some recognition for that one. Thank you. Like a Tosca. Enjoy.

So, um, Lala's like, guys, I used to look at Rekal's as such a sweet human bank. And now I feel like she's stealing my soul when I'm in the same room with her. She's a very stupid demon. Again, I was like, see, Lala, winning me over, just keep saying stuff like that. So, then Ariana says to Katie, like, can I put you for a chat babe, which is another love island reference? And Ariana's like, listen, so the whole thing with James and Ali, like, I I put you for a chat babe, which is another love island reference. And Ariana's like, listen,

so the whole thing with James and Allie, like I just want to nip this in the bud. And Kay's basically like, look, nothing was said to James. Like when I said Lala, Allie asked like, hey, I saw Tom and Raquel at the Abbey, late at night. And it was just sort of weird. So I was like, yeah, like Santa Monica goes out

and Ariana's a home buddy. And we just started talking about your dynamic. And you know, it's like unconventional to people and some people may not understand it. Well, the way she repeated it was that you said we don't have any rules and as long as nothing embarrasses me and she says I didn't mention rules and I didn't mention embarrassing so I don't know where that's coming from. So then Arianna just kind of gives her a speech where she's like, look, you know, we're going into business together and I'm excited and I just, if she's being talked about me, I hope it's not by you. But like, I know you don't like Raquel, but I love Raquel, like,

dearly. And she's one of my closest friends. And not only do I trust and love her, but I trust and love my boyfriend. So I understand how you feel, but I'm not gonna sit here and be like, whoa, Raquel, I don't even know her. Like, I like Raquel, okay? Episode is brought to you by cringe. Crinch for Van Opomprules. So now, basically, they're like, they're basically like, okay, listen, let's not fight, you know,

because we're gonna be working together, and I love you, I love you, I love you. So now James is down with Raquel, and he's like, no, it's bag. She's gonna be working together and I love you, I love you, I love you. So now James is down with Raquel and he's like, nice bag. She's like, thanks, I still love it because did I get that for you? Did I? She's like, yes, you got it for me. She's, yeah, as a birthday present. He's like, all right, well, what's up?

What do you need? And she's like, well, I'm gonna be completely honest, James. He goes, uh-oh, yes, Raquel. What's he doing, his hair. What do you say? He's just talking to you.'m gonna be completely honest James. He goes, uh oh, yeah, Shwaka. What's he doing his hair? What do you say? He's just talking to you. He's just like, you know what I'm saying? He's like, he's like,

literally doing the cliche, like, like I have a polyward, like, like, Hollywood dick face. Yeah. So she's like, at your house, the other, at the beach, the other day, I felt her. Oh, shut up, Raquel, enough. You're broken up. You don't get to say like,

oh, I can make out with your boyfriend. You guys, or I can make out with your ex-husband because you should be over it. You're already broken up. You've been broken up with James for longer. And you're still walking in here, giving guilt trips to James about every fucking thing. You don't get to have talks with James every episode. He's not your boyfriend anymore, drop it, okay? Go to your other boyfriend. Yeah, I mean, just put him.

So she really, it is like, and he clearly still has feelings for her, so she just should leave it alone. But yeah, so she's basically like, no, like, Rochella meant the episode conversation about like, did Rochella mean something to them, which is just the idea of it like Rochella mean something to them, which is just the idea of it like Rochella as a concept is so hilarious.

Well, it's funny because then it's so many things are funny. First of all, you mentioned already that we call our tour the Cheater brand tour, and this became the biggest show of our tour, right, during counter fun rules. The other one is there's a shop about to open on this called something about her, which is whole season basically was. Yes. And then what's the other thing? Oh, damn it.

I was just gonna say the, oh, it's called Richella, and this season everyone hates Rickel so much that they found out her name was Rachel and now call her Rachel. So that season led into Richella, the season. It's perfect. So basically they're talking about regrets and she's like,

she's like, you know what, James, I don't have any regrets in life. I have no regrets. You can't have regrets in life. I'm like, well, maybe you might want to look back in the past nine months and reassess. Look back to the weekend. Okay.

So, just look back to your terrible excuses. Okay, at least regret those that you didn't come up with a better story. And he tells us like he sees now that she was never the girl for him. And he's like, of course I regret with Shella. It was my first proposal and it was wasted on you. So then she's like, yeah, well, I've changed a lot. I mean, yeah, you have.

You've grown into a completely different woman, you know? Well, I'm not saying it's good or bad. I just don't know you anymore. I mean, before I would check it, I would pull out my phone to look at my pompadol and you'd pull a little mirror out of your purse and show me so I didn't have to waste electricity on it, you know?

Now what? Now what? Oh, well, you know what, I'm very happy that you've grown and changed into a big fat slot. That's what you all know big fat slot So, uh, she's like, okay, cool. Well, I don't regret anything. He's like cool So then Lala and Lala and Rihanna what? No, it's okay. Go ahead. Oh, it's just more it's just more of nothing in that scene. Yeah, it's just like all right

I'm proud of you Rick. I've You've done some, you've made some changes. Great for you, Rickette. And then she tries to have another one of those moments where she's like, yeah, he goes, you have changed, she goes, he goes, but it's okay, it's part of life. She's, yeah, that's why I do everything I do in life. And that's why I don't regret anything. I was like, what speech are you giving from what movie? Because that made no sense.

And what do you mad about right now? Why are you so proud about having no regrets while you're doing some of the most regrettable things that you will probably ever do in your life? So why don't you regret stuff so you get caught in very defense? Well, she's regretting a lot right now. So Lala and Ariana are like taking free shit

from the Heart Spring display, which is, they're lucky because that stuff is flying off the shelves. So great that they got their hands on it. And Ariana's like thanking Lala for texting her about, you know, about her grandma and everything. And saying, how like the summer has been really hard, you know? And she's like, Arianna's like, I don't know how I haven't like faked my own death

and just disappeared at this point. Like, I don't know how I keep going sometimes, which is like heartbreaking. You just know it's gonna get so much worse for her the next few months. Oh, well, her life actually looks fucking amazing right now. It's good, but I think it works. Thank God it works, that's great.

You know, right. But I love the Arianna, it's just so trusting that she's like, look at Lala, really just wanting to check in with me What we talk about scrubs and Lala's like great So you're trying to get a business off to grant grief grief grief grief grief grief grief grief okay So I just wanted to make sure good because I was at the barbecue and Tom came up to me and was like Ariana This really mad at me right now and she's like yeah because he couldn't get a ride. And she goes, a ride home to you. She goes, yeah, because like Jason left,

like his ride Jason, he left. She goes, oh, do you think he should have just gone at that time with Jason left dance? And Ariana's like, but he didn't know that Jason left. And he goes, no, he did not. Because I was right. And Ariana just goes, Tom, get over here, Tom. I'm not going to sit here and defend you.

And I don't know what's going on. Okay, so Tom comes over and Ariana is like, okay. So Jason said he was leaving the party and then you said, no, I'm actually going to stay. Is that what happened? He's like, what? No. Jason's like, no.

I'm dipping out. No, yeah, like he's dipping out, like he's sleeping on a couch somewhere in a guest room, but on a couch in the living room, but also like not there, but also staying out. So no, that didn't happen. Jason said he's leaving. So then that did happen.

So and he's in an unbuttoned shirt with the lightning bolt necklace. Just fucking dying a fire. So then, Ariane is like, right, but you tried to stay longer and he goes, I don't get, I mean, I guess. I don't know. What I did.

And it's a blackout. And she's like, okay, so I found out my grandma died while you were there, and then you found out about that, and then you were like, Jason said I'm gonna leave, and then you said I'm gonna stay, right? Is that so is that what happened? He's like, oh, yeah, I mean, I figured you just want to be alone, you know?

So, and I was like, why can't you come? And you said you couldn't get a ride. So, like, it's like, what about my phone call away? I said, can you come? Maybe you think I wanted to be alone. So, Ariana tells us that like, when her dad died 10 years ago, they weren't even together as a couple, but Tom went out of his way to be with her

because he felt like it was so important. And now it's like he's not doing it. And Santa's all standing there like, I guess I should have, I just kind of figure it, like, I don't know. Are you familiar with the concept of dipping out because I think it really applies in the situation What's interesting that Santa was still using the same moves because when her father passed She he was with Katie and then spending all this time with her and making her a priority

It's like he wait. It's like he gets a bore at Kristen. What who did I say Katie? Yeah, God could do imagine So let's change let's fix that before we have too much of a strange image. He is. He is definitely a product of this show. He's like Broken Bird Syndrome. You know, he gets bored in his relationship and then goes to look for a little Broken Bird to help. And that's how he romances his way into their lives

apparently. Because he is 10 years later doing the same shit with Raquel, who did not lose apparent, but is very much like, I'm bullied. So anyway, she's like, okay, so we've been together eight and a half years, and it seems like I'm not as important to him now. And she goes, so Lala is asking why he didn't ride

with Jason, and he goes, so, I mean, I don't know. I, and Lala's like, I don't need to know. I'm not in the relationships with them, Sast. And Ariana's like, but I was fine with how things transpired that day. So, she was like saying, like, I was fine. I, like, everything was cool, but now I'm hearing this essentially, right?

And Lala's like, listen, it's okay to say you want, like, say I wanted you to be with me that day. Like, you don't have to act like you were fine. And Sandoval's like, well, I can't. Ariana just takes a long drink of wine. Because Ariana is, again, trying to just be like, no, it's fine. So whatever, I was fine that day.

I'm not mad. Like, why are we talking about this? She keeps trying to kind of be like, no, everything's fine. So, Vercale spent the night. So this happened. It's fine. It's Tom, you know? She's trying to just kind of brush it all away and Lala's like you are allowed to tell your boyfriend that you needed him when your fucking grandmother died like hello

And it's end of all like but I couldn't get a fucking car for two hours. I couldn't get a car Which is a literal lie and Lala's like Tom. I was standing right there. I know, I know, I know. It's just like so many ubers like dipped out on me. It was so frustrating. And Ariana goes, you said that you didn't know that Jason left because you were taking a shit. I was like, oh, gotta, I was just so on brand. Oh man.

And the music is like, ah, it stops. And Tom is just caught. You know, it's just standing there playing with his bangs. And Ariana's like, okay, so you realize that you put being in a position where everyone thinks I'm a fucking idiot, okay? And everyone just thinks you wanted to hang out there in other few hours.

And then it goes, yeah, that's definitely what I think. Cause I definitely saw set. I was there, I saw set. Sam. Ariana's like, I choose Tom over everyone. Like, I ride or die for you. So I look like an idiot being Tom's number one stand when he's not mine.

And Tom goes, okay. And he just shrugs. And he just rolls his eyes. Oh, gross. It's so bad. What a piece of shit. What a huge piece of shit. What is it?

It's like he came out of his own asshole during his lie about being in the toilet. So anyway, that was the episode, guys. Next week's episode of- The show's infuriating. You know what? Honestly, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm just fucking exhausted by the whole thing.

I just want it to be over and out. And you know it's going to be like the first 10-part reunion they've ever had on this show. Andy Cohen's jerking off all over himself over there to have a 90,000-part reunion. And just grossed out, I need therapy after this. I'm going to go post Rekel's mental health meme right now. And if it's not about positive mental health, just sleep with a fuck alone about it. Anyway, everyone, get your mental health, check in on your mental health. And we are going to be back next week's reminder, next week's Vanderpump Rules will be up probably Saturday night,

maybe Sunday morning, because we're doing it as a live show in DC. So thank you in advance for your patience. And we can't wait to see all of you there. And next week is crazy because we're doing a bunch in new shows. Brava's totally changed the schedule and it is that time again. So we're going to be doing a lot. So we've got a new summer house coming out, then takes place in Martha's Vineyard. That comes out this weekend and Atlanta begins this weekend.

Real Housewives of Atlanta. So check back on the feed if you watch those shows. If you don't know that we're coming back, there they are. Go watch them and guess what's coming soon. Also next week, Dancing Queens, which looks like an instant Bravo one season wonder classic, and we cannot wait for this. Our kind of show. So thanks everyone have a wonderful weekend, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelowni. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o-s. Dan-o-c. Dan-o-doo. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Havan-eggila Weber. Jamie, she has no last name-e.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Kristen the Piston Anderson! She's always subliin', it's Kelly Ryan! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! You're never alone with Lacey Montellon! Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino! There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you! The Bay Area Betches! Betches!

And our super premium sponsors? The incredible edible Matthewsisters Somebody get us 10ccs of Betzy MD She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Erica, 500 days of summer She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Murto, Karen McMurdo. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Can't have a meal without the Emily side. Let's get real with Caitlyn O'Neal. We want to hang with Liz Lang.

Can't have a meal without the Emily side. Shannon out of a can in Anthony! Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking.

Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle

between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out.