Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Don't ShiShoot The Messenger

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

It's a wild episode of Vanderpump Rules (S10E3) as Katie and Schwartz revert to their old selves and drag everyone into their misery. Great for us, sucky for them. Must protect ShiShu!! Watch with Crappens on Demand here: http://ow.ly/K5Qe50N0cZqSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Madelker and joining me as usual is the one the only Mr. Ronny Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, Benoony, tunes. What you doing?

Oh, you know, we're just in the final stretch here before we go to Phoenix and before we have the crappies, just like a million last minute things like this morning, I was like, oh, it's good. I got ahead of all the big tasks. And now I'm like that band of prompt rules took me like two and a half hours to get through because it was so good. And there's so many details.

Then I'm like, oh no, that took up a lot of time. And now, oh, all those little tasks to do for the rest of the week They're all piling up and staring at me and I want to cry. I want to curl up into a ball and cry. How are you doing? Good I'm safe from top to bottom. Look at me. I look like a goddamn baby. I Say an old baby. I woke up saved did all that stuff so I don't have to do it tomorrow morning So I'm just sitting over here. Well moisture eyes. So my parents for dinner They're worried that my niece might be going to a woke high school. God forbid You know, so that was scary and I said, you know what? What we should get her

Maybe it'll help her from getting too well. We should get her a my pillow, too You know so she can just stay asleep. So it was that kind of night for me. But fun, you know, here I am back watching Katie still being Katie. You know how many seasons of Vanderpump rules have started with me saying, Oh my God, Katie has changed. I sense it. It's in her hair. It's in something about Katie. I just sense that Katie has changed. Katie is gonna Katie. Okay, Katie is gonna Katie. Like Chucky Roll is gonna Chucky Roll. Whenever I see a Chucky Roll, I'm gonna eat it. Ronnie is gonna Ronnie. Katie is gonna Katie.

That girl is never gonna change. God bless her in her miserable stitch and bitch life. That's my opinion. I had that feeling too, because I was, I've been on the record here on this very own podcast saying, Oh, you know, I love this like post divorce Katie. I thought this is the new Katie. No, Katie was a classic. And by the way, for the record, Schwartz was a classic. Schwartz too. So just goes to show there's no liberation from your personality. Before we dive into it, because we have this big episode, it was a big crazy episode.

The crappies are on Friday, so you probably heard about them by now, but in case you didn't welcome to our show, we're doing an award show on Friday at the will turn in Los Angeles. We can't wait, it's a big, huge packed show. So much stuff is gonna happen. Go to watchocrapids.com to get your ticket.

If you're in town, come see us right there in the corner of Wilshire and Western. And if you're out of town, then you can watch us on moment. Go to go to our website. I think it's but their link is moment.co slash wc I believe but go to watch crap is calm. That's a link is can get a virtual ticket, show up for a week streaming. So if you miss even then, you can still catch it.

There's no excuse. What we're trying to say is there's no excuse not to watch the crappies. So anyway, we're really, really excited. And of course, tomorrow night, Phoenix, CV live, come see us there. We're gonna recap Real Housewives of Miami, which is one of the nominated shows

at the crappies for Best Show. And, and it also has a ton of nominations in general. So, anyway, and today we're on Crappies on Demand. We're on video here at the late night sash. We had to, there's no time to recap tomorrow. So we're like, we're gonna watch the show, and we're gonna hop right on, hop right on this. So here we are in the evening. It's even later for Ronnie.

It's only eight o'clock for me, but it's 10 o'clock for Ronnie and you got to catch a Yeah, so I'll survive this. So pump rules. Zzzz, they showed the previous leads as they do. They were one to do on these shows and Katie's like yeah, and You you've always put everything before me Tom. So Was it worth it? I'm like, yes, Katie. Yes, it was fucking worth it You're sitting in the middle of a beautiful brand new restaurant his second restaurant in Los Angeles And the miserable nag who is still making his life a living hell. Of course he's fucking happy for it, and I hope you charged your ass cover to get in here.

How dare you call she not a troll. How dare you. I'm very upset from this episode. Yeah, Katie came for our sweet Shishu, and that's like, we don't do that, okay? All right, we understand you're growing through a painful time. We do not take it out on Shishu, okay? Because guess what? Did she get to take it out on you and she was going through it? No, because you're a part of the witch's a weo.

And if she tried to emote, then you guys all were like, that's not fair, Shina. So like- Yeah, and that's cool. I was so supportive of Shina. No, you fucking weren't. You were never supportive of Shina. The only time you have ever been nice to Shina

is when Stasi dumped your ass and you had too much pride to go groveling back to her and you were nice to Shina so you had somebody anybody to shoot with. That's the only time you even pretended to be a decent person to Shina. So to come in here and act like this fucking vick, there's a lot of history being rewritten this year, ma'am. And I'm too angry for this because it was actually a really fun episode. It's a great episode.

That was just my first note. It was Katie's kind of Katie. And was it worth it? Yes, it was fucking worth it. Yeah. Now enjoy your fucking weird ass tiki drink with a little umbrella in it. It's probably infused with, you know, grasshopper ass, okay? While you watch Tom move on with his life.

Yeah. So we know it's a good episode because Trixi has a real banger to start it off, okay? She comes in strong with, I get harder when I'm bothered and don't worry, I do it on my own. Stay busing, baby. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah, you know what?

Take that advice show. Stay busing. This is a show what, take that advice show, stay busin'. This is a show about bus boys and waiters, okay? And also I thought it was funny that, you know, I know busin' because I have nieces, so I'm familiar, but I think it's really funny that they used to song with the term busin' and then it went right into a James scene.

He used to be a bus boy. So James and Ali are doing French press. He's like French press babe. Tell me when babe. Tell me when and he's pouring her sea syrup into it. You know, it's like loading it up. I know. She's like, I like pushing it. She likes pushing the plunger and everything. It's just this actually, it's like really good. And he goes, it's from Columbia. She's like, no, it's not. It's from Starbucks. Yad Babe. Stop off of the district of Colombia.

He's pouring the chocolate down it and then she's got the whipped cream that she's putting in his mouth and they're already doing things that old couples do to try and keep it fresh. It's like that real housewives assault like city chocolate, chocolate love thing that they did where they covered each other.

Like if you guys are already resorting to these tricks, you're faking it, okay? Yeah. Yeah. Hershey's syrup, the prop best used by sad people. So, so there's a syrup and whipped cream and fake giggles. Like, so then the next song is, I'm gonna make you whole day. I woke up in the spotlight. A, yeah.

She woke up in this, this is a song basically that written by and for Alexia. Oh, well, I know it's Born a Star. So yeah, we're at Tom and Ariana's house and the dog. They have dogs now and the dogs pooped on the carpet. So, it's classic dog. They had dogs. And I remember one time, yes, I remember one time,

but we saw them out. I said, oh, I have to go home to walk my dog. And he's like, well, like, once or twice a day. I was like, so when I see shit on their carpet, I'm like, I always remember that. I will always remember him saying that. I thought there were a cat household. I seem to remember them having a cat.

Little dog. Little dog. They had a cat at one point. I think Ariana likes cats and she goes to the cat cafe or whatever. Remember when she went to the cat? No, I think she actually had a cat because I seem to remember on her IG,

like she was playing with a cat at a window or something. Hmm, no, no, no. You know, it was a window or something. Hmm, I don't know. You know, it was a karaoke night, you know? I don't know, well enough to know all of their pet lives. It was just like one line in an eye a long time ago. And I remember thinking, wow, this guy must have a living room that smells like dog poop. And guess what, he does.

And his living room, it's his gym, which I think is funnier. It's like the dog knows that it's Tom, specifically, who's ignoring him. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I shouldn't gender the dog. What the fuck do I know? I think his name was like Teaky.

So then he's like, who did that? Really, bro. And Charlotte, Charlotte? Oh, yeah. So I think the one who did it was Charlotte and she has like a dyed pink tail. Oh Like just like Charlotte church herself So then we go over to sir and Trixie's like new me who this new me who this new me who this new me who this

So she's just like Chame this is this is the new young Trixie that they've hired over there. There is only one Trixi, okay? She's James smoking Capri somewhere and she's got a pirate eye like you know like one of her eyes is half closed very deep wrinkles Very long roots coming out of her hair. She probably looks like a paper bag Where's leather and chains in the summer? that's Trixi Monacoel. Not whoever this is, who is a new me who this? New me who this, new me who this, okay? I see no Tony award in your future.

Trixi, fake, a cool, Trixi. Trixi, monofake. Trixi, Trixi, son, no. Trixi, tricycle. Okay, go back on your tricycle, young Trixi, Trixi, Sond, no. Trixi, tricycle. Okay, go back on your tricycle, young Trixi. So, jobs not for you. So, Peter is at the machine, the squirrel machine or whatever, and he's pressing buttons and everything.

The squirrel or the aloha? I mean, we haven't seen the brand name yet. So, what? I didn't know that there was a brand called aloha. Either way, he's at the POS and There's not what they ought they're called generally like pieces of shit, but also like point sale point of sales so LVP comes in she's like oh it was great to see the restaurant finally open last night

Great to see the restaurant finally open last night air quotes on open because it's not really open at all Listen to still a money bit still a money. I love every time we see her walking in It's like past some new hostess. We've never seen before who looks terrified Hello another random human trafficking victim. Hello Peter great to see you at the opening last night. Oh, they finally did it. He's like, oh, I don't remember a lot of last night. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's like, oh, well, I think you're right to hurt Peter. It's a right to admit it to me, Peter.

I understand how much it hurts. I haven't been dumped either. Let's try to have a good night, shall we, darling? Come out there, this is the best non-brawh outfit. Oh is that the white shirt with black buttons? Oh God is that new? Just kidding, you wear that every day. Go shopping!

Thank you! Oh sweet Peter, I do hope you enjoyed that taste of a storyline. Now, now, now. From episode three things go back to the way they were. Kidding will become terrible again. Schwartz will become a manchild, and you shall receive into the back corners of this restaurant. Goodbye.

You will never have a storyline, and you will never change your shirt. Your shirt. Your shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt.

You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. You're a shirt. career to back to just having your back pocket. I couldn't get the words out because I was trying not to laugh so hard that you beat her goodbye. Nimi Hudesh. Nimi Hudesh. Not for you, Peter, that song's for you. Same you. We know. Same you. We know. No, Nenditi. So then for Calvary and she's like, I am so late. So she runs in and she gets on the floor. And I really like that they have cleaned up their act over at this restaurant. And the people, the poor girls do not have to wear those night gown dresses that they used

to have to like tape, tape literally taped to themselves. So their boobs and their VJJs weren't out. Except now they're simple black cheaper outfits except the short shorts that go up to their VJJs anyway. So, it's not like they gave them more respect, but they did stop disrespecting our eyes with all those patterns. So give credit where credit is due. So Lisa's like, oh, you legs actually come up to my shoulders. Are you late? And Raquel has finally cracked the code, the true code of how to get out of being in trouble for

being late, which is that she reports a dog problem. So she's like, yeah, big little gram. Oh, I love that. Graham! Little Rob! Little Rob! Graham! Say something, say something, where's Graham? Please, please did he start a talk show in England? No. I had to take him to the emergency bed this week. No! No!

No, the legendary in bed! No, the dog! A dog in bed! No! Well, he had a puncture wound on his neck that I didn't know about and then they show a picture of this dog with his neck shaved and a fucking puncture wound in his What the hell are you doing to that dog? I mean, poor Graham, I said poor Raquel, but poor Graham. And uh, Lisa's like, oh my god, I feel it, my neck my neck I can't breathe my dog empathy is killing me. Please tell me what happened

How did I mean Graham the broken bird has become the bird breaker? How did this happen? She's like well he was feeling better today. Oh, thank God! Thank God! I still can't breathe! He healed though, so that's why I'm late. Because then I took him around the block for a walk. And she's like, oh God, I hate walking! Dog empathy over! Clear the dog empathy, darling! All right, darling. Now, speaking of limping dogs,

that probably need to be put down at some point. Let's talk about Peter. All right, let's talk about Peter, darling. She's like, Peter, well, let's talk about Peter, darling. She's a Peter. Well, you should know better than that. You know, I mean, I don't mean to blame the victim, but I do mean to blame the idiocy. Why? Why, Peter? She goes, are you saying that I can't make out with Peter in front of customers anymore? Ha! Get it!

Another roller-versal so quickly how did this happen from Recaliball people? I'm serious that's so not funny, darling! And Recalibs like, well, I told him last night, like what we have isn't going anywhere, and then I snuck up behind him and I punched a disknack the kabob stick. Wait, darling stop puncturing people please. What's happened to Raquel this season? Now listen, you've lost a bit of focus since you broke off the engagement. You know one thing someone anyone would say if you said what about that girl, Rekau? They would say, what focus? Remember that time you stared at the Heinz 57 bottle for about three hours, then you said, five plus seven is eleven. I'll never forget it, darling. What focus? Well, I wasn't love with James,

and I felt like, you know, he just do that away so easily and he found someone to replace me. Ah, you sweet little minks, you thought you could make me the broken bird. I shall show you how a master does it. Ah, you're still in love with him, aren't you? True by yes! And that's who I love. You love yes! You love shit, Lisa's like, Lisa does it hard.

You still love him, you you love him you think about him Okay, your favorite blue she say his name James Never say that unless there were love with the James best dead president Kennedy. Oh my god I can't believe you knew that what focus. Oh you loved him don't yes, and you can't wait to marry catch up wait Well get on with it then as we say around here this those catch ups aren't going to Katie themselves darling All right go I'm done with you at least it does her favorite her favorite thing which is to break make someone Start to cry and then tells them to like take a breath as if to cry and then tells them to like take a breath as if darling to come in a circle to start with

Oh darling take a breath come on come on come on come on you make me cry come on you're a beautiful girl okay you're beautiful girl with terrible decisions go go go you have the rest of your life to go you have the rest of your life to be a man and a merry catch up scope look at me I'm crying as well oh let's share in napkin all right now get it together that just placed as runners oh also take in napkin. All right, now get it together that just place those runners. Oh, also take this napkin back to the back doll and you've slobbered all over it.

So now Ariana and Katie just last week were wondering what happened to their sandwich shop. Well, Ariana and Katie go and they meet up with Jamie their realtor who is the perfect blend of Shannon Bedore and Bronwyn. Somehow they come together and make this lady Jamie. of Shannon Bedore and Bronwyn. Somehow, they come together and make this lady Jamie. And also Sheenah. Like, it's one of Sheenah's friends. And you can tell, because you know how birds of a feather flock together and all of that.

This is definitely like, okay, you guys rammy, they'll sing in a room place. Hey, whoa, oh, oh, there's not a blonde door inside. Let's go, look at. So, Ariana was just talking about the lessons that they've learned watching Tom and Tom stumbled through shorts and sandies. Uh, primarily, which is have things prepared ahead of time. That's always a good lesson and also not spend your own money. So, you know, grade lessons also could just watch Shark Tank find probably the same amount of lessons.

I have to say I'm not,, I'm not sure about this sandwich shop because they're like, let's envision things. And there's like a bathroom, like basically facing the whole restaurant, right? And all you see is the toilet right now. And they're like, okay, that's the envisioning Katie's like, well, I don't really wanna look at a bathroom. They're like, okay, how about there we can Katie's like, well, I don't really want to look at a bathroom. And they're like, okay, how about there we can put a counter?

Like, it's a square room. Like, of course that's where you're going to put the fucking counter. Where else are you going to put it? And they're like, okay, let's talk about something else. So then Katie is like, the restaurant industry is literally in my blood. Cause my mother ran a restaurant in Utah,

the entire time I grew up. And it was called,ala, Cantina. Utah, I'm gonna look at it. Bala, Cantina, Utah. Because restaurants are in my blood, that's why I was able to say, hey, why don't we put a shelf here? So try suggesting a shelf idea

if you're a person who's never worked in a restaurant before, ha. So this is called Baja Cantina. I wrote Bala because I'm an idiot. I was like, I don't know what Bala is. You know, maybe it's the new trick, C's. She's like, I'm a Bala. I'm a Bala.

But no, it's a Katie restaurant. So it's called Baja Cantina. It's in Park City, Utah. And it's got a 3.5 rating, which isn't too bad. Out of. And it stars 7. 5. So it's not great, but it's not terrible. Out of many stars seven Five so it's not great, but it's not terrible. I think we should go here And we should just be like can I talk to the senior manager who looks I would like to speak with a founder, please

I'm not happy with my free refills. I'd like to speak to the person who invented this restaurant. Please. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondria. So I feel like this is so Katie, okay? This is Katie who served you at the restaurant.

The one star, of course, I'm picking one star, revoke some of Total Dick. But um, one star, messed up the to go order and then blamed me. I mean, how Katie is that? Like, are you sure you're not like flying home every once in a while to pick up a shifter too? Really tracks. Really tracks.

And then a waitress tipped herself on the to go order. Love it, love this place. Okay, we'll see you soon, because we're going to Salt Lake City this year. So we'll see you soon. Baja Cantina. Yeah, literally like a month from like tomorrow. So miss Malone. Your name is miss Malone, not miss Malone because we're here now. How to see. I want to get a I want to get a some sort of face thing done at Beauty Lab in Lesser. I want to get some procedure sort of face thing done at Beauty Lab and Laser. I want to get some procedure done.

I don't know what. I think you just rub my face. I could just, I think I just like touch my face. But I want to. I'll say about, well, see the thing is you have to get Botox at your own place because they like know your holes. Well, I don't get Botox. They can just, they can just give me a facial, although maybe that is that smart to do a facial

before a show. No, but who cares? You can just show all bloody I got show up and be like yeah Oh, and by the way, I feel like I should give a shout out To miss Heather gay herself. Thank you. She sent a copy of did you get a copy of bad Mormon? We've got a copy of that more I sure did I got my copy of bad Mormon and it has like gifts inside hold on Let's open it while we're doing this I open my own weekend But I want to see you in a room. We can't open yours.

Go open yours. There'll be an unboxing. An official unboxing of the Bad Mormon box. It was a very good box. Here it is. B. Here it comes. He's about to put his head up over that guy.

No, I have to say, I am so impressed with people from these shows who are nice to us. I mean, I know that this is a promo box. It's a publicity box, like I get it, I'm not stupid. It's not like she invited me over for coffee. But I think it's pretty big of people when they can still send us stuff, when they actually listen to the show, and know the show we talk about them,

especially Heather. It was not an easy year for Heather, but this is it, the bad moment. There it is, beautiful box. Beautiful box. There's a dead nut on it, but that's not her fault. It's because I become a plant person and now I'm in a constant war with the little flies that like to hang out on our planet.

You get your sticky trash. The sticky trash. Girl, those things look so disgusting at the end of one day. I had to go in there with the big guns. The bug guy came over and then I got this organic spray that you can spray that kills them, but I have to do it like twice a day. And then there's like little Nat carcasses all over the place. Yeah, I mean it's more. Anyway, sorry Heather. Bad Mormon. Bad Nat. That Nat was one of her Mormon ancestors were having. That was the most important Nat that's ever knatted. All right, bad Mormon and memoirs postcards,

you know. There you go. It says drinking and treating meets unorthodox in this vulnerable, drinking and treating is Randy Glandville's book mixed with unorthodox, unorthodox, that show about the Hacidum on Netflix. The fuck, kind of, pitch is this. I'm in, actually. I feel like that's up your alley. If you do.

Get that. There's this. Now I'm talking about this coffee beans. I'm my my my little grinder. I've got a grinder with a hopper on it and my hopper is is getting low. So my next batch of beans will be these beans. Well, this is also funny because you cannot have hot caffeinated drinks in the Mormon culture. So I guess that's the point, right? I have more than that cold ones. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I'm dying to.

You can have cool, I think, yeah, I think it's something about hot caffeinated drinks. Then there's something called higher dose chill juice. So I am taking these. Chucks out, sir. So she's sending you drugs as well. A dose of that magnesium and L-theanine. Huh, I don't know.

Okay. That, a jar of popoerie I think? No, I think it's for to make, you can make more, like I think they're supposed to, you're supposed to use it to make, like, infuse vodka or something. It's like dry, or something. Oh, sure, sure.

I'm excited about that. That's how my kitchen counter at the moment that in the okay. Oh, yeah They teach you what to do they give you a little drink of any is in here. Yeah, okay a higher dose I don't know that this comes to the book. I just want to point out to anyone who's interested in this book There is the book right there. There it is. Oh, and then there's a book. Yeah, I think there's condoms in there too By the way. Are there cond- oh, well, I don't need those, but you know. I'll keep them around for like museum purposes.

No. Please enjoy Hugo Coffee and know that you are saving animals when you do. Oh, please. Darling. There they are. Sign organic aloeased Lubricants. Well, hey, I'll give it a try. I'm going to masturbate with some coffee in my hand.

That was a wonderful unboxing. I think it's some Elphaya mine or whatever that shit's called. Thanks, heads. So while you pack that back up, so we go back to this, like, sandwich shop. So my takeaway from this is basically this space that they're looking at is huge. I kind of feel like a sandwich shop,

you just need a kind of a, sort of like more of a nook kind of space. Like obviously bigger than a nook, anyone have some seating, but for a sandwich shop, this is too big of a space. That's the lesson that I've learned from watching lots of reality TV and going into sandwich shops. Hey, this is the lesson we all learned seeing a subway sandwich shop.

Okay. You know, you need a long place that's only in Canter. You go in there, you get the fuck out. You have maybe four tables where people sit there and slopper all over themselves for a second, and then they're out of there. Okay. I don't want your fucking tea and crumpets. Get the hell out of here. Nobody wants to sit there. Okay. Eventually people are going to have to take their boyfriends in, right? Can't

just be, I don't know what this thing is, but we went to one of these on Fairfax. It was actually really good. We loved it. But it was like all pink and girly. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But it was too late. That's why. But also you have to have people who like make sandwiches. Do they even eat bread? I don't believe it.

I don't know. But my thing is, I think the way you are successful with the sandwich shop in Los Angeles is you have a small space and you have a limited inventory. And then when people find out that you've sold out with your sandwiches for the day, then like it's all people can do an LA. Then it's like lines out the door, articles written in ETER LA that say things like the most exciting new sandwich spot is in North Hollywood and all these things about people are waiting in line.

It's who would have thought two reality stars, actually are making the best sandwiches in the history of the city, you know, and then all of a sudden, that's how you, but if you make it big where everyone can sit down and have a have a have a sandwich No, it's not gonna be you know who the best people are for Coming up with successful restaurant ideas People who don't have restaurants, okay, everyone's a fucking professional. I can't do I would fail

So I already have I've actually opened a sandwich shop with my family a few years ago and Felt so it's hard. Okay, it's hard So then and also my mother still hates yelp. She still blames yelp for the downfall of her life She's like and fucking yelp like you'll get her drunk and she'll be like oh really power to the people like yelp Really and then group three look at your and say, was it worth it? You gave up everything for this. Was it worth it? Yelp didn't break this restaurant.

So anyway, so yeah. So then Katie is talking about how like, oh, this was gonna be something that she and Tom were gonna do, but now they're not gonna do it. And she's like, oh, and so funny, because like last night when I saw him I was like, I was telling him I was like, was it worth it? And Ariana gives a smile like She's smiling and nodding like, oh, he's so happy. He's getting on the nose. Oh, God. Oh, it's so sad. This happy divorce is not gonna last much longer

It's gonna get shitty soon. This is the happiest time has seemed in a long time. Okay, I know that he's walking around trying to be like, oh my God, look at me, my sad house, I'm so sad, I'm gonna wear depressing light blue color jeans cause those are sad jeans. And I'm gonna walk around in Crocs cause that's a sad person thing to do. But I'm like dude, this isn't 2020,

no one suspects you of murdering your wife. You don't have to act like this, you know? Yeah. Shout from the rooftops, buddy. So then we see a close up of a sign that says North Hollywood, Valley of the Stars, and then I basically cussed the shorts as new apartment, and it was just like boxes and sadness.

Bubba art. Uh, like, bubble art. Oh, God and sadness. Bubba art. Bubba art. Oh god, all the Bubba's piled up. So then, yeah, we go over there and it's sad, you know, sad and dirty. And he's just eating O.J. and talking about how depressed he is. And he's like, I just have to keep telling myself, it's a phase, it's a phase, it's a phase. And then Lala sent a text and she's like, I want it to tell you how incredible

last night was. Congrats on Swarth and Santies. He's like, oh, that was sweet actually. And then there's like a knock at the door and he opens it and she's like, hello. I'm so embarrassed about my place. It's disgusting. I'm so depressed about doing your podcast.

And she, I'm so excited about doing your podcast. No, I'm depressed about it. She's like, thanks. Well, anyway, don't be depressed about your house because I brought you some printed canvas of me and Shari. It's like me looking away from Shari. She could just pretend she's not there. I've read something over his face. Maybe you could put a face

Katie's cut at Patrick Katie's face on Chase face. So it's like I'm looking away from Katie every time you're sitting in your barclang Where are you at barclangers? Where are you barclangers? Granny, how's this? Are you hungover? We can talk about it So then this short is like no while I yeah, I never sleep in and I slept in. Oh really? I want time to go to bed. For him.

What are you doing? Just hanging out by yourself. Mostly, what do you mean? What does mostly mean? God, you really are a really good interviewing now. God. Where was the last time you cried? So he's like, my friend Joe is staying with me.

Not like that. It's just she's kind of staying with me kind of, but like it's not like a thing thing, you know? And she's a really pretty girl. We see her picture. And she was like, I love Jeppel Mayfemme because the way he hit this man is living right now, he's definitely not getting it up.

This is like impotency apartment. This apartment is like impotence. Yeah, but it's also... Nothing says soft dick more like this apartment. But I have to imagine it's still in a better shape than the apartment he was staying in when he and Katie got together. So I'm not sure that theory.

Oh yeah. Also, it's still kind of a set, right? Because we see glimpses of the other rooms because the doors are open and we see that they're clean and they look nice. But the rooms he's shooting and he's like, oh, it's the saddest thing ever. I'm just depressed, depressed shorts. All I need are some people to come over and hug me and love me.

He's really playing it up. Yeah. So it just doesn't work. If you already present yourself like someone who's just gone through a divorce, which has kind of been his thing for the past eight years It's hard for us to feel bad when you actually aren't going through a divorce So he's like, oh, I just sound I'm just so over myself right now. Well, we're gonna get you on over yourself So you can get under someone

Hi, welcome to shenanigans. We are getting into some Shenanigans today with one of my best friends of all time. A groom's been in my wedding. He's recently gotten a divorce and he is considering using Irish Spring. Please welcome a dope human being Tom Shroos! I'd just like to set the scene and say that I have a pink foam over my microphone, which is really adorable Also, our set today is a place it smells like socks soaked in sperm and dried in a salami shack Welcome Tom Schwartz. How are you doing Tom? He's like, oh, thanks, you know, that was a really good introduction That was a grand introduction. Oh, you're a grand human That was a grand introduction. Oh, you're a grand human

So let me get my pod voice. This is it today on cereal. I like cereal That's me doing the theme song. I Thought we could lighten the mood today and play a fun game fuck Mary kill, okay? Oh god. She really is messy You know know, so he's like, no, I don't want to do that Just out of the pee. He's like all three Celebrable and initial okay, how about me Savannah prompt And Raquel and he's like oh well God with all those rumors plaguing me. I better keep play it safe. I'll marry Raquel God with all those rumors plaguing me, I better keep play it safe. I'll marry Rick Hell.

Um, I'll make a lifelong commitment to the person that I did not hook up with. Rick Hell. Uh, and then I would be hanglies of Adderpum, obviously. And um, I was gonna kill Lollah before last night, but then she sent me a really nice text. Uh, just off of me up before she dressed to publicly humiliate me again next time. You know, at last night we had the Daily Mail party. It was sick.

It's like, yeah, I was really sick. It's like the restaurant business is like demanding and unrelenting. I'm sorry, Katie. The restaurant business. Katie really is demanding and unrelenting, but a bit. No, the restaurant business. But she has the restaurant business in her blood.

So I guess that makes her unrelenting and difficult. Would you say your relationship with Katie was like a review for Baja Cantina in Park City? Cog Mary Kill complimentary Brad free refills or Katie. So basically what you're saying is Katie was like none of the prime cocktails. Can I ask you a tough question? Okay. What do you think about the cover of my microphone? Pink, it's nice.

My microphone walked so Zoom recorders could fly. So she's like so. You know, he's like, I think it's too addressed to even, like, oh, so basically she asked, do you think that the restaurant, because he's going on about how sorts of sandies went really well, the Daily Mail party. And she's like, okay, well, tough question.

Do you think it led to your divorce? And he's like, oh, I think it's too early to even address that, but I cannot blame the bar. So as much as it broke my heart, the separation was good for us. And Katie chose her words very carefully with me. And she's like, did it seem like she'd been thinking about it a long time because she had, like seriously. She would be like, when the catch up would come out of my bottle,

and she was aiming at it the other bottle's mouth, she would go, when catch up, run. God, I wish I was you. I wish somebody would want to want to want to pour into me the way this time is pouring into the other hines. Anybody else? I thought I was so strained when she looked at a ketchup and she said, God, I hope you meet a ketchup that wants you to take those scene first class. So anyway, oh, this is too tough. Can we go back to talking about Rick L? Sure, there was a rumor online that you guys were like making out at like a chala Which is like hilarious because you guys weren't even at a chala unless you were you guys like making out over zoom We like kissing zoom cameras because that's like kind of weird, but kind of hot like is that something you do now now that you're divorced

And he's like, I don't yeah, that wasn't true But I and she goes you want to make the room just true? Because you can make out with me, right? Make out with the back of my elbow right now, and we'll say it's for Kyle. That'll be hilarious. He's like, no, you know, I just, I don't know what to say to this. She goes, oh, so a couple of tequila shots, and who knows? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey I'm glad you've tried. You've tried. You've tried. I'm sorry. Am I the proof of the time that Katie tried to marry Welsh grape jelly?

I'm really like, why is that? We don't even have a jelly service. She said, this jelly takes longer to come out than Tom does. I said, you're not at that level yet. You're not ready for that jelly. So, now we go to Raquel. Who's pouring waters at Sir? And walking around telling people,

like, I'm gonna give you a few minutes to think about it. So then, Ali and James walk in and I was like, are we drinking? And he was like, yeah, we are girl. You look so cute. You're like a cute girl. I need to pick up my, my check.

I got to pick up my check for, see you next Tuesday, featuring DJ James Kennedy, known for his sets at Knockachella and at the Canyon Club of Agorios. Come on, I want my check, please. And he gets and he's like, Oh bro, thank you, got my check, that's amazing. Look what it says says, James, cut fitness. Right, can see you next to you, it's crazy, isn't it?

It's crazy. And their goat cheese balls come. Literally everybody orders goat cheese. But that's all they sell at this restaurant. I've never seen someone find so much success with a ball of cheese. I know. Just a Prandole. They do it like good.

10 years. 10 years. Okay. Also this shows the damn liar and it's false advertising because they showed it coming out with a long plate with four goat cheese balls. That's not how it comes. It's a little plate with three goat cheese balls. Okay.

So stop trying to trick us. Okay. Many posts pandemic, they changed it up. You know, Lisa Vanderpump got that spirit of Nicolaine in her and was like, you know, after we revolutionized the rest one industry by introducing the concept of specious, we thought why not use long blades instead of round ones. Mite Drow.

I know, and they were really serious about getting the season back on track, because did you notice in the montage leading up to this scene, they even showed Chef Joe back there, like flinging things around in a pan and like fire coming up from under the pan. Yeah. Chef Joe, Co-Inventor of Spieshure. Chef Penny, Chilean Ciba Specials, also known as Batagonia. Deep fish. Depending on what decade you're webbing tables. So James is like, what you want?

Go cheese bowls? Oh my god! I would love goat cheese bowls as well! So LVP, who, you know, is just there to cause us much shit as possible. So it's just like bring everyone in, let me try and ruin all of their lives on the same day. Alright? I've got four hours. Load him in.

Yeah, so she's like, oh, Jane, so sorry about Graham. It's been pretty bad, right? He's like, yeah, I'm devastated, it's absolutely terrible, so sad. Oh, I know. I was so terribly seeing him there on the edge of death with that puncture wound in his neck that you surely knew about Reaching reaching his tiny part to touch Delarisa's finger And say whoof where is my daddy?

Heart breaking Why are you talking about like always nopping well? I thought you'd known about it. Oh Listen, I'm keeping out of it. I hope you enjoy your totally completely normal served every night. Fogout Chief, Bob! Don't worry, your dog will be completely safe. We've commissioned how sem-dee today Everyone lies Sir James is like oh, I'm very upset on very upset Lisa Rina says Graham has Mumtiao said who did I say that? And James like I'm gonna talk to Raquel. I'm gonna do it. I don't know how to process this but I'm very upset. Various, break out, break out, come over here. He's like, yeah, he's like, why are we with Graham? And LVP is like, wolves, I thought he would know about it.

I thought he knew that Daryt has volunteered to adopt Graham. What could get wrong? It's just that one damn singer picture of Graham lying on a table with a kabab wound in the side of his neck And the next time seeing him in a bikini on Instagram darling, that's all I'm saying Terrible terrible terrible so Rick tells like well, I would have rather him not know actually and James Like hello, I mean do you remember I was granddad for like five years. Hello, I fucking raised him. You haven't you haven't let me see him. Okay, I'm a scrabble that I miss the real Macau. Okay, look what that other one who did you just see you next Tuesday? I'm the one who played a set at the Canyon

Club. Okay, and you're not gonna let me see Graham. Go. So he takes her outside for a tucking to and he's like what's up? I don't like him that it's scary. And he takes her outside for a talking to and he's like, what's up? I don't like him. That is scary. And he starts crying. And she's like, he's fine. He had a puncture wound. And he's like, from what? She's like, I had a cabob in my purse, but I also had a dog bone in there and he started

digging through it. And then next thing you know, you know, I was putting him on the grill. And then I smelled burning and I heard some yelping and I was like, oh no, Graham. And James was like, ohogram! Pogram! Graham? He's okay. It's fucked up quite honestly. It's quite fucked up. Why are you sad?

Well I feel bad for him. The poor thing. Probably so scared and alone and in your stupid, stupid apartment. Without you living that alone, without the love of your life who you met at a very sacred place called the Guided Club, I feel terrible for him. And, um, so he's, you know, going through this big emotional manipulation. It's like another James scene, another emotional manipulation, you know. And he's like, how could this happen in her not even said a text? That's fucked up! I'm not gonna say the D word or the S word But it's not thinking things through and the producers like what is the D in the S word? Don and stupid and slut, but I didn't want to say two S's

Rekel's like see this is why I didn't want to tell you So man, he's like yeah, well, I'm glad that I found out like this. This is better, Rick, hell. This is much better, Rick, hell. I'm glad I found out like this, or I've got go, go, she's posing there right now. The love of my life thinking I'm dead. Thank you, Rick, hell. So now we go to Schwarzen Sandeys and Schwarzen's there to like, what are plants? He's like, oh, I love doing this. I'm glad we had a day to savor. What I thought was pretty successful, not with the Daily Mail party.

I mean, obviously we have a lot of work to do and that we don't have any staff or food or kitchen or permits. And we actually still don't even have a roof. That tarp only lasted one night. But we're getting there. We're getting there. He's like, yeah, I came to water my babies.

Because my babies are like my little. And then that manager guy, Brett, is like, your G. Gotta take care of the insides for the outsides to work properly. Brie. Things were going great here. Made great live decisions that let me hear the shorts and sandies. I'm so happy about them. Well, I'm glad we had a data saver. Well, I thought was a successful night,

but we've got a lot of work to do. And Brett's like, we've got mountains to move. And then Sandivall comes in and he's like, then let's get to moving some mountains. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Some sandivall in the most extras. Easy come come easy go What was this like guys and dolls entrance that he made well that let's move some mountains I was like I was waiting for the song to start Tom is pulling a full like self-produced guys and dolls

We're just like I'm in a pinstrap suit walking down the street, bro For its good old reliable shorts note note that concept doesn't work out Sandy Sandy Sandy Luck be a very sour x-wife tonight Luck be a cover to nine Sit down sit down sit down sit down sit down you're rocking the starry night installation over the table A person can develop a car So down sit down sit down sit down sit down you're rocking the story night installation over the table a person can develop a car

So he comes in they have this meeting and he's like got his hair blow dried out, you know It's like all big much in stock. He's like swinging around his hair And he's like hi to me Businessman and rock star Tom Sandeva Hope you don't mind that I've got my ankle behind my head, but it's required for my show So what are we talking about bros? Roll ups, waiters, POS systems So I was like, well, I want to talk about the staff. I mean, we'd like Dezia, but the bartender mad.

Dezia, I'm convinced that girl's name is Dezia, and she just doesn't have. Dezia. She doesn't have the nerve yet to correct everybody, because her name is spelled D-A-I-S-Y-E. That's Dezia. OK? So, joy being a vacuum waitress.

Dezia. Either way, whatever it is, it's not daisy. So, and then Matt, the bartender, they're like, Brad's like, yeah, I don't think about, I don't think Matt's gonna last because he was drinking. And George's like, well, no, it's fine. Like, well, he did a shot with you,

but then he kept on drinking. Oh, but I like him. He's so nice. I like Matt. I'm like, see, George's going back to his old ways. But it's not even that. It's sand and all goes, yeah, but it was just half a shot. And it was with shorts. So you can't fire somebody for that. Shorts is like, Hey, Matt, you want to do a shot? They man's like, okay. And does so does boss tell some to do. And then

they get fought. He they fire him. Well, because Brett, well, apparently he drink him more after that But that's why shorts doesn't want to you open the door, you know, yeah, so he's like well ultimately We mean Tom get the final say about staff. I'm like, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, right you guys so A couple comes in from like Oklahoma you guys. So a couple comes in from like Oklahoma. They're, are you open? Are you open? Who's playing? Is that you? Is that shorts? He looks so, he looks, he looks so much better in person. He's so tall. I mean, it's really, he has to really me. Oh my God, it's really

him. I can't, I can't. And I loved your work in Carousel. Is that work? That was so, so good. that's the, uh, I'm actually talking about not clear devol- Oh. That's so easy to care. So, there's a carousel. There wasn't carousel. Carousel is a musical. What was that?

Sure, that was on HBO that clear devolves in. That was like about a circus. Oh, Carnival. Yeah. Oh, that was a good show. I forgot she was in that. Was she in that? Cleared devolves in Carnival. Is that what made her? I don't know. I love Clearedival. Yeah. Oh, that was a good show. I forgot she was in that. Was she in that? Play devolves and carn. Is that what made her? I don't know. I love Play devolves. Yeah, that is totally him. So I'm going through all these Play devolves things in my mind right now. American horror story. She's all that. She's all that. She's in she's all that. She's like puking into she had like a really big scene where she threw up and

Jews all that. Oh, was that cannot be wait? We're putting that. I don't know. I'm getting play a duval overlaid. Hold on to some of those. You know, there's a whole long season coming up. Don't don't blow your play a duval. What? Okay. Save some of that. So, um, a sand of all is like, all right. Well, you know, now that we've been in the Daily Mail, like we have all this pressure, like live up to the praise, because like everyone loves our restaurant. So, here's what we need to do.

We gotta finalize food, well, we gotta figure out what drinks we're gonna make, and higher kitchens staff, like so you've still done nothing. I know, you literally- Don't practice this. I still don't do nothing. Cra know. You literally don't practice. I still don't do nothing.

Pregs, lists. So now we go over to tipsy cow for seeing that surely will bother Ronnie, trigger him perhaps. It's Lala and Katie. I mean, I thought it was a hilarious joke that the locations person was the tipsy cow. So it's Lala and Katie and then Raquel, the three of them sit and say, girls, nine and you know, everything's happy. And Lala tells us, you know, Raquel and I left our relationships and like, there's something just like very sweet and inspiring about when you leave everything you're used

to behind and you don't know what the future holds holds but you know it can involve humiliating Raquel. I'm just like excited for us. Yeah, what are these two doing? Pretending they like Raquel since fucking when? You guys have both been monsters to Raquel, okay? So Raquel's like to us dodging bullets and Maela's like, yeah, Raquel felt a little vacant when she was with James, but now Brickow seems to have come into her own.

I see things happening here. I mean, she's not wrong. Lala's not wrong. Like a broken clock can be, can be right twice a day, as they say. So Lala's, yeah, I'm not saying she's wrong. I'm just saying she's just such a phony asshole. She's a phony.

She's a phony and her whole vibe is that she'd like to keep it. One hundred, she's wrong. I'm just saying she's just such a phony. She's a phony. She's a phony. And her whole vibe is that she likes to keep it. One hundred. She's real. She says real is the cup. I'm a badass real bitch. I'm the one. I'm not. I'm that one. You don't want to mess with me because I'm that one who keeps it 100% real. No, she's so fake. By evidence, by the fact that that text message that she sent Tom Schwartz early this episode after we listened to her say

I don't think that we could ever be friend. There was a line in the sand. We were all standing up on Chena's roof She was holding enchiladas and I said you're either with me or you're against me and Schwartz was against me By the way, great opening. Congratulations. Love it. Great job So we're gonna like how are things going at randals? She's like How are things going? Randalls. She's like Randalls. Yeah You divorce you divorce the store, right? She's like no, Brickell. That was Rand my husband. She's like, oh, yeah How's that and she's like he sucks, okay? That's how it is. Jesus Christ. It just called you smart idiot She's like now we talk but we only talk on the apps because our lawyer set up an app and it's authenticated

She literally she says like, text, you can delete, which I mean, you can't really, you know, they're, they're records. You can't really. Also, and also let's never forget that with text, you also have the specter of spoof texts. Spoof texts. Never knowing. And then she literally said authenticated. I didn't know that she did say

I was like there is Ron it that's for on a little good bad to learn So she's Katie's like yeah, that's how I feel because today I arrived at Tom's to get the dogs and Then we see a clip of Tom being like well,, they did she and the podcast and she was like, what did she ask? Well, she was just asking stuff. What did she say? Well, she was asking stuff about, she asked about me. Like, oh, God, Katie, Jesus Christ.

You do voice. You left him. Yeah, Katie is upset because she wants to control the convenient narrative, but more, it's like that, she's upset that Tom gets to talk and speaks his piece without asking for her consent. Because you know, like part of this whole rage that happens at the course of this episode, aside from the fact that she's mad at Sheena for a variety of things, she's also mad that she was left out of this discussion.

Because you know, she was probably like, wanted to have a co-parenting public statement. They probably, I think they did both post like dual things on their IG at the same time. And then like they, like you know, like the fact that he went off and like talked about it before her before they had a coordinated plan. That's what she's really pissed about. Well, she also has a podcast.

She also has a podcast. Katie does. Yeah, Katie has a podcast. Oh, yeah, she does. And Tom, I don't know if she did it at this point. I know she does now But then Tom's going and giving all this shit to Shina and she knows that Shina hates her And she know that Shina's gonna play this against her and make her look like the bad guy and she's correct But Shina doesn't have to like you and you are the fucking bad guy in in Shina's eyes

for very good reasons and So if she wants to rally behind her friend who's getting divorced, then I say fair game. Now of course this was before I saw Sheena being messy as hell in that podcast. She was messy, she's messy, but it's so funny. While admitting that, while admitting that, I still am 100% team Sheena. This is none of your business lady.

It still ultimately falls on Tom. Sheena can be messy, but it falls on Tom. And by the way, Katie is just not, I mean, Katie's friends are starting Kristen. Okay. So she can't be talking. And Lala. So I don't want to hear her talk about complaint about messy people. So then Katie's, yeah, Katie's basically were saying how Tom told her that that that

she was pushing him to be like, Ricala, Ricala, Ricala, Ricala, Ricala. And Lala's like, she's pushing Ricala onto Tom, are you serious? And Ricala's just sitting there drinking martini, like. She's sipping like, yeah. And Katie goes, wait, did she push? This has absolutely nothing to do with the reason we called you for Girls Night for the first time ever in our lives.

So did she put you on the shorts and Lala goes, shut the fuck up. What was the tone when she did that? Rika goes, well, her tone was like this. No, what did she say? What did she say? I was saying, oh, she said like you and Schwartz should make out or like she said you should start calling Schwartz Baba. I think, oh, he said I should try to get Schwartz

to pour a drink on my head. I didn't really get that one. Yeah. Katie is furious. She's like, she tells us this is a total active attrail. I mean, she was a broadsmaid because I felt bad for her at my wedding, okay? So it's a lady who guts fish for the fucking cheap ass rental place you guys were all staying at, okay? It wasn't like a long line.

When Shina went through her divorce, I supported her by making her feel shitty and reminding her that lots of things could be shitty, not just divorce, okay? So how would she have felt if I was trying to hook up Shay with one of my girlfriends? She would have been livid, slash fascinated to see how that would actually work. Can you imagine Kristen with Shay right now? Just think about that for one moment. No, but I could see Shay with Katie, because those two would love sitting around in Barclanders doing fucking nothing all day I can see those those two as a couple so Rickles like but like I do think about it more because she said that stuff I guess because I do like shorts a lot. I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't date him seriously

Rickles was like entertaining this Not doing a standard thing of like I would never, don't you worry. She's like, huh, she's just like, you know, entertaining this line of thought about, maybe I should, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, for her. These girls aren't her friends. Why the fuck shouldn't she be able to do it? Everyone else has fucked each other on this show.

And I, that I do love the recal, it's like, she sees a bear trap. She's like, what's that? And she's like sitting there like, opening it playing with it feeling the serp teeth on it but somehow miraculously like not touching the little coil so she just sort of in it and you're waiting you know so Lala's like this this is when I step in and defend my friend at all costs. Okay, because if we want bodies everywhere,

okay, it's gonna be you hooking up with Schwartzk. Okay, I get messy, but I wouldn't even do that shit, okay? Yeah, you would. Have you ever been with a guy that didn't have a girlfriend ever on this show? I don't think I've seen that. That's true. So, you know what I mean, come on.

It's true. No, I was saying like, oh, we're just being, yeah, it's cool. It's cool. So Katie's like, just like fucking each other, just because, and Lala's like, yeah, Katie, your feelings would be so hurt by that, and I do not even wanna seek you pretending that that's not true.

And Katie's like, well, I gotta say, I'm not ready to see that, or be in that place yet. And you don't get to see that or be in that place yet. And you don't get that, you don't get to make that decision anymore. I don't know how many times I have to say it. Okay, I know you can't hear me from over there, none of your business. Damn. So Rick tells, like, nothing happened.

Okay, if I did even entertain the fact, it wouldn't be fucking okay. Like, not fucking okay. She's like, we wouldn't be fucking okay, and I don't want any serious relationship. I'm so, so done with that. And I think especially since I was so loyal to James for like the past five years, and I keep hearing that he was with other girls and Lala's like, okay, I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna tell you something. Okay, James and I definitely, we definitely hooked up. Okay, we definitely did.

Yeah, she's like, you guys were new and I was new in my relationships, so that's it. And Rickale's like telling us, like, really, that you're gonna sit there and judge me for hypothetically making out with Swartz. And then it's like 67 seconds ago. I'm messy, but even I wouldn't do that. And then it cuts back and Lala's doing the whole well, I mean there's so many things

that I did while I was drinking and that I was a product. I thought this was about it sober multiple times on camera a day ago two days ago So yeah, you don't get to play that like you don't get to play the blame game of like There was something kind of very flippant about it like oh well. I made mistakes while drunk not like You know, hey, sorry, sorry, like I'm so sorry. Yeah, I've actually held this inside, I felt terrible. I got into a hole where then I felt like I couldn't say the truth, I felt like people would eat me up alive. And then I just, you guys seemed so happy

and I didn't wanna be the person that would bring unhappiness to a happy world. But you could have done like that whole thing and said she's just like, oh yeah, I guess what? We did sleep together after all. Remember, remember when you kept on like suspecting it and then I called you a cut fitness to your face because I was so mad that you suspected it,

turns out, no, I did do that, I did. Yeah, I was trashed. So Lala's like, I'm not proud of that, but and Rick tells like, oh yeah, Mala goes, yeah, I just, we got a change where we're at. Fuck off, where your ad is fucking paying this bill as I, we got a change where we're at. Fuck off! Where your ad is fucking paying this bill as I walk away. That's where you're at.

Who the fuck do you think you are? And she's like, well, I guess I care more about him falling in love with Ali one month after we break up. You know, that's more hurtful than hooking up with you, but like still, she's like, how am I supposed to take this? And Katie's still just giving everyone a dirty look like she has just been the most offended person on the planet earth. I mean, those two, I can tipsy cow.

I swear it. So Tom and the most exters rehearsal, Tom comes in where sunglasses, whippin' his hair around, sunglasses inside, and he's got like the fucking fair facts high Up there They were all like they also had their puberty must ashes You know they're like mr. Sandevol when is practice could be over because I've got a social studies exam tomorrow They smell like all of duty sweat. I could smell it from here just people on their play stations

18 hours a day, you know when they're not in school or whatever. Dude, so last year when Schwartz and Sandy's hit a creative wall, I needed like a creative outlet. And so like the enjoyment I got, like that I get the passion, the expression really was the thing that kept me, it kept me sane. I mean, it's not like I was creating anything. I just was more like regurgitating other people's creations. And that was like wonderful. I think that it's great that he's doing this. Listen, I would love to start my own little band. My dad used to have one growing up, the dad band, you know, they would all let come, the dads would all complain, the garage and stuff. And At least you know he's not fucking around, you know, I love it. I love it girl 14 people

It's a big band business. This is just bad business bad money since I've seen the videos I've seen the videos on Instagram and they look like they put on a great show They actually really do look at that but I'm a really big fun show, but wow That is a very that's a lot of overhead. I'm a lot more into that with one or two horns, a bass, a guitar, and a drummer. It's it. That's you guys, okay? You know what you do? You bring a boom box and press play.

Okay? And then you sing along. Okay. That's what you do. That's what I, that's the Franco cover band. Okay. Not the most extras, more like the most shutups. Okay. The most skinny, the most skinny. Just get about to squeeze. Just get people together. You have them high five, boom, there's your rhythm section. There's your rhythm section.

Here's what you do, you don't even sing, okay? You put a picture of yourself on a speaker, you press play, and you just sit there and you listen to your own voice. It's great. Here's what you do, go on to TikTok and rate other cover bands. Okay, that's what you need to do. Cover bands, terrible. Everyone sits there and after 10 minutes of them looking at the stage,

what if you come on on, you call up the man, you say, put me on speaker, you see, what are you fucking idiots doing? Can't you tell I'm not even here? You stupid people. Do something better realize. Stupid idiots. So, James comes, he's like, Hey there brother, yeah it's science. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,, blowing your hair out, what's up, boo! But then behind us back to us, he's like, what the fuck is he doing with this money?

It's not this band is, it's a chat for him to blow some money in there. Yeah, I think he's got designer Kangos and designer Pong, Kangos, Vongos from the Kango. I love that he calls out the gold plated designer con goes from Sam Asch. So Santa was like, yeah, you know, like all the band members get paid for the practices and then I pay for the practice space and then I take care of transportation and food and yeah, it's expensive, but at the same time,

they're going to be waiters. It's worth the sandies. It all come together. Yeah, you know, good for you, but you could be making money. I mean, they're playing all over the place. They're touring everywhere, they're playing big houses.

They could be making, he could be making a lot of money on this, but budget, budget, okay. So then we go to Sina, who's meeting Recalfer Walk, because Sina is relentless. Wait, you're right. James does tell us. The Canyon Club is a very special place for Ali and I, because the first time I laid my eyes on my princess, my gorgeous beauty. It was one of the most magical nights

of my fucking life being there. Agorahills, retirees, left and right, ordering things like my ties and Amsterdam lights. It was a gorgeous special night. I found my beauty there. And it's a sacred place, the Canyon Club. Yeah. So basically he's saying he was playing the Canyon Club and he picked out a fan from

the audience to make Rikael jealous and she stuck around to be on the TV show. That's what I heard. Yeah. So I just wanted to make sure that we established the sacredness of the Canyon Club. Yeah, sorry about that. I don't know how I missed that. So Sina meets Raquel for a walk. He has a relentless right.

So they're walking Graham and Raquel's like, he's feeling better. Sure. Did you make that with him? No, Graham. Oh, who's that? My dog. Oh, great. Hi.

So anyway, Lisa's neck has been bleeding. Have you heard anything about that? Dog empathy, son. OK, well, I guess it's going around. So there's this trend going around on TikTok, and it's called Cockroach Walk. So you talk through your goals, things you dream about, things you love, things you want to be, things bark around you, print the canvas, you know.

Things like that. So what Michael and Spurnio today is to do a Hot Girl Walk, okay? Hey, hey, how funny. I didn't realize that you were this close to Schwartz. Let's take a Hot Girl Walk in an unspecific direction and maybe we'll wind up at Schwartz's place. Wow I mean, I don't think you realize how close you live to Schwartz like a three-minute drive nut You should come pregame before the show if you mean Schwartz. I wasn't totally inviting you. It's like it's called the Raquel night It's called my god. There's a new trend. There's like a new trend on TikTok. It's called Walk to Schwartz's House. Oh my God, we totally have to do it. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right, so let's do this Hot Girl Walk, OK?

So, Raquel, do it on dance, do it on dance. OK, Raquel, what kind of things do you want to do to be Hot Girl on your walk? And because I want to lose 10 pounds. It girl on your walk and because like I went on these 10 pounds It's like no, don't say that just have one like Titan in tone Titan in tone I say I want a Titan in tone. I want a Titan in my ink toner. No Tonier muscles not your ink toner, but then how to but then what if my printer? Looks chubby. No

But then what if my printer looks chubby? No! No, you want to be tone like me, like get my tone. She's like, ah, ah, ah, not that tone. God, you're really having a problem with tone today. So we're gonna be like, so James was begging me to let him see Graham and I slept on it. Graham, that is. I think I figured out how we got his puncture run.

And I think it would be fine if we met up at the park because it'll be like a one-time thing, okay? And she was like, so is it gonna be like split-costly, just like Schwartz and Katie are doing? Oh, I can't believe you brought that up, you didn't. He did my podcast, yeah, actually. Isn't that funny to think of that when we're three minutes away from his house.

So I know Katie really wasn't happy about it. She's, oh my god, how it's Katie now. She's like, because she saw him because she went to get the dogs from Tom and she was like, oh, after the podcast. Yeah, she was, she was like, I don't like that. She knew it was pushing you in shorts to be together. Um, excuse me, I am not pushing. I just asked, but like you said, oh, we haven't made out yet. And then Katie is the one that, by the way,

by the way, when Miran Vegas for the Vanderpump of Paris opening, and I looked really good that night, that was like my first one. I did like a like a Harker walk I accidentally walked into like a crap stable and I fell over and I was I kicked down and was like excuse me on a Harker on a walking Anyway, so um she was like oh hey, I saw some rumors about Raquel on shorts online And I was like and what and then she was like well if it's true then like he should like embrace it Like he needs to start dating and so she was the one who pushed me to bring it up to you. Mm.

And yeah, she, and Rick tells like, yeah, but she said it was not okay whatsoever. Then she should not have ever said the words, and I quote, I embrace that. You know, and then she tells us, Katie and I have had a roller coaster of a relationship. And then it's just Katie being terrible to she met.

It's not even she met doing anything to Katie. It's just Katie being vile, you know, year after year. It's like one of those fashion roller coasters, like the first roller coaster of all time where it was just things just going downhill. Like there's no downhill then going back up again. Just like, just people going down on a track. Bad.

So then she's like, you know, she's getting upset that she literally asked me to do it. She literally asked me which isn't true, you know, but she's like, but you know what, I'm sick of being sorry because like sorry you're divorced. So move on. Yeah. So which of Tricetti loves hearing. So Rikels like, well Lala has been so mean to me in the past, and I felt like last night she was trying to get a rise

out of me, and she told me she had sex with James, while James and I were together, and while Randall and her were together, and she was like, oh my god, it's like you didn't know, it's like no, I didn't know. She was, I was gonna marry this guy Okay, so then live Lala and Katie because they're not allowed to just go into a normal restaurant It doesn't have a stupid name now go to a place called Justin casos

Yeah, Justin cases and it's like if you're looking just, no, just in cases, not just in cases. Just in cases, like just in cases. Right. The name Justin, like is Justin's, oh, don't run me, I was on the website. I was on the website. I was on the website. I'm fully aware of this establishment now, because I was like, for anyone who wants to go

to Justin's case, apparently based on what we saw of them walking in, just look for the 10 signs on the sidewalk that say, fix your cell phone here, because that's where this restaurant's located. They were like, it was like an obstacle course of signs that were like, broker screen right in here.

Brokers were like the police. This is on Melrose. It's on Sunset, the Sunset Strip. No, finally. So they're doing a double blind date, but it's not really a blind date because Lala met the stud at the Foxy. How tall is it called? How tall is it, yeah, how tall is it?

Yeah. So, his name is Ty. So, he comes with a guy named Melrose. Okay. And Lala's like, oh my God, Melrose, dope names. Did your mama give you that name? And he's like, no, my name's Mel, but they call me Melrose. And she's like, oh, that makes very little sense.

So what about yours, Ty? What did your name come from? And he's like, my name means clean and pure. And she goes, yeah, I watched a TikTok of yours that wasn't clean and pure. And he does like TikTok videos where he's working out But like grinding like sexy's like oh yeah You stalk your stalking me and Lana's like yeah, uh yeah, I am and so the waitress comes by the waitresses over all of these

She probably knows all of them. She probably hates all the waitress hates all of these fucking people And it's hilarious. She doesn't hide it at all. She's like, I used to work at a bed of bar and I went to Justin Kase's just because I was like, they'll never come here. And here you guys are. So she's taking drink quarters and I was like, I'm a sober, mother fucking girl.

I'll burn this place down if I drink. Okay, it's almost sober, mother fucking girl. Yeah, and then I just wrote the waitress hate them. I think I wrote that 20 times. So she said, yeah, so you make dirty TikToks, but I'm real clean. Like I have a really clean mouth because I haven't given a blowjob skin a really long time

and they're like, and the music just goes, I love a good blowjob. I then Mel just goes, I love a good blowjob. I then Melrose goes, that's unfortunate. You're not drinking today? She's like, I've been sober for three years, not much. Okay? I'm part of the night here. He goes, I missed that.

I missed that one. And I guess that's hot. That's hot. And then Lala tells us, fucking listen. I've told you twice now that I'm sober. So Katie's like, 67 seconds earlier, I'm a sober bitch. So Katie's, so they never like talk about relationships and stuff. And Katie was talk, talks about how she felt like she basically was married for like 12 years and everything and that rose is like

Cool, that's okay. That's like totally okay. I don't want to round drinks round of drinks for drinks anyone for drinks And she's like I was like with someone for 14 years, but we're like married for four. And he's like, Melrose is like, God, you were so young. She goes, 24. Yeah. So Lola does the, okay, what's your sign? And Ty says he's a sad. And she's like, well, Virgo is my sign.

He's my sign. And then I think I'm a Scorpio rising. And he goes, you're a virgin. So what's your favorite movie? She's like, I got this point probably finding Nemo. And then he goes, and then he goes, actually, finding Dory is way better than finding Nemo. And then they cut to Melrose. As soon as he said, finding Dory, they cut to Melrose, which was a hilarious reference to the fact that Dory can't remember anything.

I did leave a catch at those funny. And he goes, I'm not gonna agree with that. And Molly goes, yeah, that's like saying, Sympos Pride is better than the Lion King. And Ty's like, yeah, I haven't seen either one of those movies. And Molly just got swallowed on. She's like, furious. Like she cannot believe that somebody would admit to that.

Then it got the crystal on Beverly Hills, also passed out. And Lala's like, I'm going to the bathroom. Katie, are you coming? I mean, you don't have to about, yeah. And Katie's like, sure, standard practice guys. So they go to the bathroom and Lala's like, a board, a board. And that's one thing I'm never gonna say after seeing

either one of these guys, because not the one of them are getting inside me. Okay, let's go. She's like, I don't see us banging our heads against the headboards with either of them, do you? Which is funny because I thought the whole point of this wasn't Lala's whole thing is like, listen, I just want to get like fucked. That's all I want is to get fucked.

So then they find two fuck boys and she's like, wait a second, this can't be my husband. So then they also down and, you know, there's like talking a little bit more and Katie's ties like, no, ties talking to Melrose. He's like, so, uh, what do you think about Katie? And I was like, yeah, she's a good girl. I like her personality too. I'm like, well, then he's really not listening to her. Yeah. So they come back to the table and they tried to stay, but Katie said, you know, guys, this has been really fun. I mean, thanks for everything. Love the cheese sticks. Just in case, I mean, that's really funny, like, you know, because it's casos. And never

knew there were so many kinds of casos and Mama's like, okay, but we're leaving and Belrose goes, are you guys gonna drink tonight? Lala's just like. Well, Lala is so mad that her brand is failing. So now we go to James Herk, meeting at the dark park and James is playing with Graham and stuff. And he's like, let me assure you, okay, he fucking remembered me, okay.

That's how it is with my best friends, okay. We can go for like a whole year without talking then I see in the glove I'm like hey there you are okay this guy who got next to me next for like four years okay he's and he's not gonna remember of course you remember anyone remembers if this next to me for four years that's why that strange guy with black wig always shows up every now and then remember him on the other side of the shade yeah oh god that can't be too weird oh like Liza Manelli's driver from the 70s We go with shows up every now and then remember him on the other side of the shade. Yeah. Oh god Oh, like Liza Manelli's driver from the 70s whoever the fuck that guy was I mean talk to him. Tell Ziggy He literally like Ziggy the cartoon

So Rick goes like I have something to ask you and I want you to be completely honest with me I was at girls Night and Lala told me you had sex while we were together and he goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, well obviously we were both drunk and she literally wouldn't let me leave the room. And yeah, it was one time sorry for what it's worth. And she's like, I've literally been so loyal to you. Our entire relationship is like, and now you're dating Peter, so there's that Peter Eater. And she's like, I'm not actually, he's like, oh yeah, Peter, Peter, Peter,

just date, Peter, Peter. Oh my God, oh my God, let me look on the Google maps and see if I can find where Peter is. You can go, Hey Tim, how about that? All right, S&D. Why are you digressing this? Why are you digressing this?

Okay, I don't think that's how you use the word digress. Oh, you're digressing by digressing. Okay. Okay. Look, look, look, look. Okay. It's like he was your manager and you'd come home to the department all the time and like, bitch about him. And then be like, oh, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, uh, and answer like, which one is it? Because like when you like fantasizing about Peter, the whole time you work with him, is that what it is, girl? And she's like, um, I don't know why we're talking about Peter because like I want to talk about you having sex with Lala right now. Because it's weird, all right, you're dating the sir manager, all right, like I had sex with Lola five years ago, five years ago, four years ago, so she's parading at random like a trophy, you know, you can really blame her after all that kind of shit. And she's like, well, I'm parading it to you because you're digressing and our whole

relationship was built on digressing of lies. And she's like, stop saying digressing wrong, please. I already said hypothetical correctly today. How much do you want from me? We have a foundation of lies. It wasn't a foundation of lies, just but you weren't honest. But about that, no. And that's like everything else, no. But it's not technically a foundation, more like just a lovely, filmy surface that we built other filming things on top of.

So, Rickel's like, so you knew how it felt about LaLan. She was was doing me and you made me feel like I had nothing to worry about with her. Is that, alright, I don't know what you want me to say then. Alright, I feel like I'm getting interrogated. I came to see Graham Cracker. Do you need another decision to make? Because I've met myself a wonderful woman. I'm truly happy and I've never felt this way before. So it's a good thing you didn't marry me. A, and she's like, yeah, great. I mean, what do you think is gonna happen here? Stop going to James and giving him relationship talks.

You are broken up. Okay. The thing that worries me about it is that she thinks, I think that maybe she broke up with him to get him to get his act together. And then he went and immediately found another girlfriend instead. If she just if she wanted to be a true Vanderpump rules ensemble player, she does not go to James this information.

She goes to Ali and says, by the way, the guy you're dating, he lied to me about this and this is the guy you're dating. That's what you do if you're on Vanderpump rules, okay? True, but this is the new generation. and I actually see some slinest here and I always feel like I'm giving Raquel too much credit. I'm like, because a lot of it's like, am I just making up this personality for her? Because I don't, I have no reason to think this, but here's my theory. I think that she is not doing that because James is always looking at her like suspecting it and he's poising

the well obviously like telling Ali Rickles of chalice and you know this and that. So instead she's just going right up to Ali. She's talking to James right in front of Ali and involving Ali and making it almost like making Ali root against James for her and I think it's actually a very good move. Like she does not give a fuck. She'll say all this stuff right in front of Ali. So so far I think it's a pretty good move. We'll see.

Yeah, I think that she just wants recognition that she did the right thing. Like you're acting like you're acting like me breaking up with you was the best thing ever. No, actually it was the best thing ever for me, not for you because you're lying cheat. You know, like I think that's just basically what she wants. So now we go over to Katie doing, she's in her apartment doing makeup and listen to she does podcasts. I mean, you're she not going, Brock and I are just like, want to be here for you. And like, we want to be

here and like, we also want to support Katie and like, we also want to be your cheerleader. And we want to be like your wing woman and like thank you for doing my podcast. Here's a picture of Raquel that you can take with you doing you want. It was like so crazy and I just want to say everybody thank you for living in isn't it crazy that Tom lives like three minutes from Raquel? Did you know that Tom? It's not nice. I mean Tom, you were in Mexico and you got drunk and you walked all the way to a whole

other resort. Imagine what you could do walking just three minutes away. So Lala calls and she is not gonna come to this thing tonight, whatever the tonight thing is, the Igor Hill thing. And Katie's like, no, oh my God, have you like listening to the podcast? Cause a friend wouldn't do this. A friend wouldn't bring him on when he's vulnerable

and trying to coerce him into saying shit. That's such a Katie way to frame him. No. To victimize. Like she, she took an innocent victim and then she took advantage of him and it's like that's so fucking Katie the word he is. Like, and by the way, he's not innocent victim. That's why Tom Schwartz does this whole chick because then he could be like, oh, that was vulnerable, I didn't really know. And he knew the entire time he wants his bitch and make Kitty jealous, you know? Yes, and she's like, she needs to say the fuck out of my shit, be supportive over there if you're trying to be supportive.

And Lala's like, yeah, well, you know what, this isn't sit right with me. My best friend has conveyed that she's not happy with any of this and then you're gonna like invite Raquel over to the pregame. And Katie's like, she's an evil little troll. Like she and I, you're shitty person, you're shitty friend, and it's fine, because karma's gonna come for you

and I'll be watching your world burn while I smile. And then she does like a normal dozen eye flares. Like, well, she does her makeup. It's actually pretty good. Oh my God, and that's so sad. It's like so sad as she's rolling around in her own karma right now. It's cracking up. And she's putting on her makeup with the wrist that has the leopard print and she's wearing the leopard print bra

And it's just the whole thing is just so sad, you know like I want to feel for her, but I can't it's like when you see an Arbidillo dead in the road and you know you should feel bad, but you're just like ew get out of the road And then you're like wait, they have armor dillas in St. Louis, that's crazy. So then we go to Tom and Ariana's house, and SantaVall is picking out his seat for tonight and everything and Ariana's just watching him and he's like, they could be this soon. I wonder if this one is one red all.

They made me this soon, this one is nice one. He does like a kick. And you hear Ariana in the background go, I like to kick, stretch, and they cut her off before she does, and kick. kick, stretch, and they cut her off before she does. And kick. I was like, wait a second, Ariana was actually reciting Sketch Comedy.

She was doing Molly Shannon's a bit from SNL. I was like, she takes Catch Tom D. Burry seriously, and she was really doing it. Stretch my kick, cause I'm 50 years old. So he's had all these suits custom made for him, you know, so he's blowing all this money. And she's like, okay, Ariana Grande, but nice air on that kick there. Okay. And he's like, yeah, little David Lee Roth.

So she's like, oh my god, okay. So I think me and Katie are going to ride together, but like, you know, she know, lives like in my rack. So it it's gonna take a long time to get there. So she's gonna pregame at Schwartz is, and I was like, well, should I come? Because I like pregames, and she's like, you know, I invited Raquel, and I'm coming with Brock. So I think it's just gonna be the four of us. And I'm like, you know that this immediately looks like a double day, right?

So what are you doing? So then we got to love that she knows exactly what she is doing and she loves it. You know, she's like, yes. So then we go over to sports department and she's like, no, no, the pregame is here. So she walks in with Brock and Raquel. Andquel's like, oh my god your apartment is so nice It has so much potential. God, I love a fixer upper. I really do I would love to come help you redo your apartment. It's like oh god Raquel. Oh my god So shorts like yeah, Katie was really furious

with me about the podcast. I mean, I thought it was chill. I thought everything was fine. She was, yeah, well, she's over it and she's fine with it. Like, I thought she was fine with it too. Like, I thought she was over you and she was fine with it. And you know why? Because we had a conversation in Vegas

and I was like, oh my god, why are there four goat cheese balls on the plate? It's because there's press here because there's only three goat cheese balls on a plate. Everybody knows that. And then I was like, how are you with Tom? And she's like, I'm so over it. And I was like, oh my god, who are you fucking?

She's like literally everybody. And I was like, oh my god, what about Raquel? She's like, I hope that Raquel and Tom have babies. Like, she said, she literally said that right to my face. She literally said, I hope Raquel and Tom have as much sex as I'm having with my old high school sweetheart who I'm here with right now. She literally said those things. Is it quay? What? She's getting laid with a junior high friend. He's like, are you sure?

Because maybe it wasn't. Checked out. She went on a date last night. Her mom were on a double date. So, and he's like, I had a hunch that maybe she was getting some Hey, could you start saying getting laid because that's good, you know How do you like getting laid, Raquel and Raquel's like I love that Oh, man, my mind is just starting to race right now. I think that all this weight. Hold on. Oh no My mind stopped racing. It sort of sat down. I was drinking some water. Oh, my mind said it's too much. Now my mind's in a car. Oh, my mind's getting drunk.

Oh, my mind just wandered off somewhere. Wow, that was scary. She was like, you know what? Because shorts goes to the closet with Brock to put on clothes. And she was telling Rick out, like, you know what? I'm sorry, I like if I heard her, but I'm sick of everyone thinking I have this like a malicious brain and like this

manipul- I'm this manipul of a person who's like trying to teach it like that I'm sick of it and so it's like what about really light blue jeans to go up to my ribcage I guess I should change my rainbow crocs huh and brocks up no don't if you're going for the like miserable and so low vibe, bro. Come on. Where are you? Come on, get your saver in there. Get out of your dill drums, put on these crocs, bro. And you like slap some on the back and say, oh, so then Schwartz goes up to Rekel and he's

like, hey, so can you and Kay talk tonight because like for sure we should stop our little thing, you know, like I love when we like hang out in flirt, but like, and we don't have to stop hanging out, but like we've bonded so much and like, we should stop doing our whole shick. Like what is this conversation? And you're gonna make Raquel go up to Katie. Why don't you go up to Katie, she's your ex

and she's the one who's having issues right now. And Raquel's like, I mean our relationship is so innocent. She's holding both his hands. And she's like, and your ex-wife is really being a little dramatic. And he's like, don't say that. Oh my God. And they're like, you're divorced. Don't my God. And he's like, it's a double standard, isn't it? She's got double standard. Like, why can't you not flirt? But she can fuck. And he goes, no, don't stop saying fuck. Like, say, have sex with people. She's like, I was using the F and F a little duration.

Okay. And Rick has like, yeah, she was like digressing it. So now it's the finally time for the Canyon Club. So James is like, oh, look, we're back at the Canyon Club. I'm playing all the originals tonight. It's like, wiki, wiki. And I've got your keys. Oh, it's gonna be amazing tonight. And Alex,

like I'm so excited. So, uh, sand of all is bander there and James is excited for round two. And then sand of all is like, hey, I'll say anybody's seen one of these things. And it looks like an inhaler, but it's a steam machine. It's got like vapor coming out of it. And they're like, what is that? He's like, it's an oxygenator with saline, kind of moist and sings up, lubes the old chops. It's like, oh my God, so lean. Just, can somebody sink the boat already?

Just sink the boat. Sink the boat. So then, Schwartz and Shunin, Brock and Tom show up, and I like that, or not, they don't show up, but they're driving, they're on the way. They're in, what we find out later is an escalade, and Brock does not fit in it. He has head is like, up on the ceiling,

he's like, he's like, I like, this man is so big, he does not fit into an escalade. I've never seen that before. I know, but he was like, it was like all crammed up in the back there. He looked like some kind of booster seat. Yeah. So he's like, so, okay,

you got to ask the equation, Rekayle. Who's the badakisa? Is it Peda? Who's it James? And Rekayle's like, I'm not gonna answer that because it's Schwartz. Oops, oops.

So they all started arriving and Katie is giving Sheena bitchie looks and turning her back to Sheena. And Katie tells us, I'm ready for Sheena to say one thing to me. I'm ready to grab a bitch. No, I'm ready to grab a hoe. That's what I'm ready to do. I was like, please stop making a lot of love.

Lala isn't pulling it off. I mean, you're pulling it off, even worse. How do I say it? Lala, grab, I'm gonna drag a lot of it. Lala is in pulling it off. And you're pulling it off, even worse. How do I say it? Lala, it's a grab a hoe, drag a hoe, drag a whore, or grab a whore, thanks. Mm, so she and the Shina arrived. Oh no, I don't know, I don't know what's going on. They all arrived, they know.

But that's how it's there. It's like, yeah, it's like arrivals. And they're trying to make it fun, but it's not. And so they just keep going Woo Woo So um Katie is like texting ignoring Sheena. She just keeps like walking like right by Sheena and then turning her back Like nobody cares Katie, okay?

So then um Sheena's asking Ariana like what am I supposed to expect because she's saying hi to everybody but me and she says um The optics look like double date. Sheena. I told you So she hugs Raquel and she's like one so sorry I invited one of my best friends into a situation where she would feel uncomfortable walking in alone So sorry person that only lives three minutes from Tom Schwartz Everybody did you know that? It's not great Yeah, and she just like um Katie

I want you to know I invited Raquel to come to Schwartz's so she didn't have to come alone And Katie's oh, yes, so she can make out so she can make out with Schwartz. Yeah, I've heard about all of your plans Sheena Katie that night in Vegas you literally said to me in between Fucking sessions with your high school friend, you said you give Raquel your total blessing and you embrace it. I quote, I am brace and I don't care what I said. I didn't mean it. Oh really? So you literally did say that, Katie, you are such an asshole. You are such an asshole. I can't believe her. That's not a that. Talk

about a convenient narrative. I actually just wish Katie said, you know what, I may have said that then, but I've changed my mind. And just been like, I changed my mind. But to say, Well, she kinda says that. Yeah, because she's kinda saying that

because she says, why are you giving so much weight to what I said in Vegas months ago when I'm telling you right now, I care, it's very disrespectful when you've been up to, okay? What you did to okay what you did to what you did to shorts on your podcast that was gross what I did what

I said you and your podcast should just stop right there do not talk about the most painful day my life is none of your business like you are embarrassing yourself you are a man I'm embarrassed for you right now okay you didn't have to answer questions if you didn't want to. You know what? I don't care what you think, Sheena. Okay, there's no room for your feelings and thoughts in what we have going on. There's no room for you in this.

I'm like, what you have going on, you guys are divorced. If the papers are signed, it's actually done. It's over. Okay, this kid starts to spiral out like a Karen, not getting her chick filet on time. I mean, she really starts freaking out. So Rick tells like, I mean, don't get so mad. mad we didn't make out it's not even a big deal. She goes, I'm saying that what she did wasn't cool. She was like, well I'm not trying to dangle,

Rickah like a carrot. We're all friends. And Katie's like, oh really could you be going, sure, sure, sure, I mean that makes me uncomfortable. Sheena, well guess what? Welcome to life where sometimes you're fucking uncomfortable Okay, you don't get to just call the manager every time you're uncomfortable, ma'am It's called human fucking existence. It sucks. That's the point And she not even apologizes because you know for that I'm sorry and I won't do that anymore But like you land early sad and vagus I don't care. I'm not comfortable with this okay I stop right now, enough Shina. This is so not sensitive, okay?

This you're not being sensitive. I was one time, it was one time. Get the fuck out of my voice with Tom. I'm really proud of how far we've come and you're derailing everything. You're a little troll, you're just a little troll. She's armaturell, she says yeah, you're a little troll. The woman just a little troll, she's armaturell, she says yeah, you're a little troll.

Like the woman is standing here apologizing to you. After you just admitted that you said you would give Tom and Raquel, you're blessing. Like you are, you suck dude and this is why I'm always anti-candy. She comes in here with these big ideas like she's gonna have this big fight, but then the other person's not even fighting back. They're literally saying I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. And she's like, oh really? You fucking troll. Fuck you. And then walks around the bar calling her a bitch to everybody. And what a stupid fucking skank. Nasty. Nasty lady. And she knows, she knows how to write. She tells us, girl, you're mad at yourself. You're mad at, you're mad at Schwartz problems. Your problems with Schwartz have nothing to do with me

So get back under your bridge see when I did there cuz like troll and everything troll in the bridge and So Katie who just did not want to fight at all is going I'm done with you. Good bye, Shina I'm done with you and Shina just stands there so Katie walks off. I mean Katie is just like so bad at this I can't believe she's been doing this for 10 years And she literally terrible. She goes with the James and she's like she's like just trying to make like Tom and Raquel Make out and she's pretending that like everything I'm seeing and hearing is like not happening in games It's like oh

Finally someone gets me because you know what sheena sheena had Raquel on her podcast like two weeks after we broke up And it's like oh, let me get this bitch while she's fresh. Okay. And like, when I called Brock to say, you guys better keep my name out of your mouth. He was bombed by saying, well, why don't you come on the podcast, mate, and talk about it. Like, are you serious? So James is like, and then James, you know, James's low blows are getting sadder as he gets older You know, he's like she must be bored at home with that baby old day like disgusting like this woman had a baby Ew, you know, it's like he used to do as jacks this old man jacks like babe Might want to start looking at yourself. You're literally fucking fans from Agora Hills Hills. Yeah, so Ariana's like listen like,

like, Shina, like this, like, here it is, another situation where Tom Schwartz is in the middle of everything, and you're left here holding the bag, and he's there looking the nice guy, and everyone loves, and Ariana tells us, no one is ever mad at Tom Schwartz. I've been saying this for years. He makes decisions for himself, and he does shit that pisses people off. So why is everyone always mad at someone else?

But Tom Schwartz, and I was like, thank you. I mean, we've been saying this for years too, but thank you for saying it on Vanderpump rules. It just feels great when you hear it coming from the show. I was so happy. Yeah, but in this case, it's, you know, Tom's not really doing anything. That can't be. But Tom should be like, this is, Tom's not really doing anything. Like, when?

But Tom should be, Tom should be like, this is my, don't blame Shina. Tom is the one who changed the subject back to Rekel when they were doing it. He should have been like, he should have been like, don't come for Shina. I said I'd go on the show. She said she wants to talk about divorce.

You should be coming after me, but not Shina, you know, but he just is like, oh, everyone's mad. Yeah. So Katie goes, of course, runs up to Tom, the manager of the establishment, okay? And she's like, Tom, I hate that bitch. I hate her. And he's like, oh no, wasn't a good conversation.

She's like, no, she's a fucking snake, and I've done with her. You don't get to run to Tom anymore. This is exactly what you were doing last season before you left him for not being there for you. He wasn't there for you when he was married to you. You think he's gonna be there for you now while you're being a total dictum, after dumping him,

after publicly dumping him, and now still be rating him in public. Like, girl, please. Guumpt him. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, she's taking one conversation about like this. Like, high school sweetheart, I was like, oh, I met up with this guy. She's like, he's taking one conversation about like this high school

sweetheart. I was like, oh, I met up with this guy and he's like, oh, well, she said that you guys made out. No, there you guys had made out made out. He's like, it's okay. You don't have to explain it to me. She's like, no, I know I don't have to explain shit because I didn't throw it in your face. They did assholes. That's an asshole thing to do. Nice friends. You got there. Yeah. So then she turns it to the, oh nice friends, Tom, real nice Tom. And he's like, she's wanting him to get up and go fight them for her. And it's not gonna fucking happen. So then Raquel walks just right up to James and Allie, which is funny. And she's like, yeah, I still feel really drained about that conversation we had in the park because like,

you're twisting things and like trying to make me look bad and James is like, well listen, I'm not trying to get into the past about something from five years ago. And Ali's just sipping her drink like, oh god, here we go. Yeah, he's like, you know, you go with me one second and then you find out about Lala, it's another ball's back in your court. So now I'm the asshole again, Rick. No know no no no no no not today I'm like actually like literally yes. Yes, of course you found out you did an asshole thing so that New evidence new evidence case reopened dick He goes and I'm sorry guys make mistake. I don't know what else you want me to say who says that right in front of their new girlfriend So so what fucking guys cheat. That's it

Allie's not a great response. This is bad Allie run run Allie So then um we cut between everybody having problems the custars shorts telling Katie I don't like the way you're undermining my friendships and then custarsina telling Ariana um Oh my god and Ariana's like I don't think you're losing anything with shorts here and then cutting back to shorts She's my friend. I'm just gonna chill. And then cutting to James. Like, I mean, she, what's wrong? Why are you looking at us and rolling your eyes

and check nothing? I'm just fine in the area. And it's like, we're just like on the outskirts of this weird conversation. Like, we don't know what to say. He's like, well, I was choking. Guys, she, everyone, does it. And then Tom is like, he's like,

well, the way she sees it like so Your establishing boundaries that are like a double standard and Katie's like she's she's such a fucking bitch She's inserting yourself between us and tearing us apart like she's doing right now I'm like tearing you apart your apart your horse your torn. God. Remember the divorce papers you served That was the that was the official terror in the paper, and now you guys are apart. If the tearing is a part, we're tearing apart the happy divorce,

the nice divorce. Well, sorry, it's divorce. Doesn't work that way. You were barely together. You're a part, Katie, and she's doing her whole like, like, she's gonna walk off because she won't stand up for her. Why the fuck would he? So then James back to James from a Kellan she and James is like oh

This place is sacred to me and Ali. All right. I don't want to do this here and she and cuz oh my god James don't say that in front of the girl. You were just engaged to and he's like oh really? Well, it's fun. You were the one trying to get it to make out with Schwartz Yeah, and and so then and then He starts going. Yeah, yeah, really blah blah everyone. Hey go away pumpkin pie. That's right Miss pumpkin pie I was like pumpkin pie and then he tells us pumpkin pie is a sweet on the outside But go bad real quickly

With cream on top hot in the truth. I was like, I don't think pumpkin pies go bad So quickly. That's not true sweet on on the outside end and the inside and Like what are you talking about? I was like now if you said pumpkin pie are things that people generally don't like but somehow we're stuck with them every year That's fine even though I do like pumpkin pie. But I was like, I can never be wrong. Yeah, he's wrong.

So, Ali's like, um, yeah, I don't really need to be you between you and Rikal. And he's like, but wouldn't my fault? She goes, you need to handle this, okay? Cause I'm like drained from this. So, I'm drained off. Everyone's like, I'm drained. And so then he goes, but you wanna go backstage. I'm drained off. Everyone's like, I'm drained. And so then he goes, but you want to go backstage.

We'll go backstage, she's like trying to like fix it by offering some sort of like exclusive, yo, with a stop, baby. Yeah, you can get a free book of water back there. Yeah. She's like, yeah. She's like, so does that to be continued. But that was a great episode. Wow, it was like so good, so so good.

Yeah, it was a good one. Felt the anger, felt the rage. Anyway, tomorrow we are off to Phoenix for some real house was a Miami. Can't wait for that. That'll be up tomorrow night or Friday morning, who knows, and then we got the crappies. So everyone, go to watchcraftens.com, get your tickets.

Thanks for everyone who listened. Thank everyone who watched here on Patreon. And we will catch you on thecraftens.com, get your tickets, thanks for going to listen, thank everyone who watched here on Patreon, and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends, would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King.

Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o. Dana C, Dana Duh. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. You're never alone with Lacey Montellan. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. Kristi Wowerty-Dowerty.

The Bay Area Beaches. Beaches. And our super premium sponsors. The incredible edible Matthewsisters. Somebody get us 10ccs of Betsy MD. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Erica, 500 days of summer. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

Undo your fasteners, it's Aaron Casner. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall! Give him hell, Miss Noel! Can't have a meal without the Emily side!

Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil! Make it lastner with Aaron Casner! We want to hang with Liz Lang! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Let's take off with Tim LePlan. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutard! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts

before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.