Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Edibles and Oedipals

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

The Taco Bell Coven takes the Taco Bell Mom Coven to dinner, but can they make it through the edibles before crashing into the Oedipals? Would you prefer to watch this recap? We're doing a couple of shows a week on video which you can find on Patreon along with our bonus eps. This week's is a Celebrity Big Brother cast preview. Find it at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live has added a second show to Dallas on Feb 8, plus announced shows in Vancouver, Irvine, and Boston! Find ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com **New "Ben in the Streets, Ronnie in the Sheets" Limited Edition tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com until Feb! Free shipping on orders of over $45 til Jan 22. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

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If you do enjoy and here I am with Ben Mandelker my little partner in Bestie and creator of real house rest of kitchen islands on YouTube. How am I being? Hey, what's going on? You're all I've been playing Zelda, I've been losing, I'm very upset, I'm coming to this very frustrated. So I'm so I'm extremely excited that we get to talk about mommy issues because you know that's like my favorite thing to do. I'm like a stereo which drives this podcast. Yes. I'm basically a walking moaning stereotype of a gay.

Yeah. Well, I'm excited for that. I'm excited. walking moaning stereotype of a gay. Yeah, well I'm excited for that. I'm excited, it's Tuesday. So Tuesdays, you know, going forward, Tuesdays are exciting days on water crap and because Tuesdays are going to be the days that we announce new shows. But don't get too excited, we have nothing to announce today. However, next Tuesday, we do have an announcement. So just want everyone to gird your loans that on Tuesday show next week, which is what is that? Like the 20s? I don't know what it is. 20 second. What is that day? I don't know.

Tuesday, 20 second. I live for today. Well, on Tuesday, the 20 second, we are announcing two new cities that we'll be bringing our show to. Two, on Tuesday the 22nd, we are announcing two new cities that we'll be bringing our show to. Two cities we've never been to, and one of those cities has been highly requested. So everyone gets excited for that. That's gonna be really amazing. And while you're waiting, of course,

by taking the store text to show, because that's coming up in like three weeks. So, oh my God, a flock of parrots just went like, dive on, that's my favorite part of the day. They're like, we are going, we are going! Okay, you guys, it's flock of parrots just went like, dive on and that's my favorite part of the day. They're like, we are going, we are going. Okay, you guys, it's the hottest parrots show in all of America. It's Watcher Crappens in Texas, February 8th.

The February 9th show is sold out. So if you missed the February 9th show, don't worry, come to February 8th and y'all know there's gonna be some roundup activity. So go do that. And then we're also gonna be at Just for Laths and Vancouver, which will be amazing. There's like huge comedians are gonna be there for at armistice and David tell not at our show necessarily, but you know, they're at the best.

And who cares about them? Who cares? We're gonna be there. Screw David Tell him is Steve at show. Yeah, but there'll also be other really big podcasts there. Nicole Buyers doing her podcast there. And so is girl needs to eat girl's money girl needs a girl need a pop. This is the only podcast. It pointed if you come to the festival there's like a lot for you to see you so um and then of course we have shows and Phoenix and Boston and Irvine and Cincinnati which is like on the brink of selling out and Portland so y y'all watch our crappins.com.

Do it. Go get your bed of the streets riding the sheets t-shirts crappinswirtch.com. They're great. They're going to make you only baby. Yeah. OK, one last thing. Today we are on TV party app live streaming.

We love doing that. We're going to do it a couple times a week for the foreseeable future. The other show we're doing this week is Real Housewives of New Jersey on Thursday. So get the TV party up for that. You'll also be able to catch the videos on Crappens video on demand on our Patreon if you'd like to watch it that way. Just do it y'all. Yeah, and when you do TV party out, you just have to

follow either Ronnie Karim or band Mandelker. And because one of us will launch the broadcast. Okay, now let's start this shillin' and get ready to talk. Shalax. Vanderpump. What? Vanderpump, what a good episode. How hilarious. See, this show is still so funny, so funny and so good.

You know how Lindsay Lohan and Madonna instead of come up with new accents just to be more interesting because like, I don't know, that's all they've got. Yeah. She knows kind of doing that, but she does but she only has an accent for the word Adam. Have you noticed that? She's like, no. She's like, I'm really attracted to the arm. This is awesome.

No one says that, okay. That's a season, okay. It's not a penis. I have to say that about the guys that have been sort of tanning lately, one of them is my favorite. Oh my. Oh my god! Oh my god!

Like are you swallowing a spoon while you say that? Like. That was my first thing. That's all I have to say today. Bye! I enjoy that she is on a totally different show right now. She's just basically like, that she's just being spliced in divanaprim purules,

but like in a way that I really appreciate. You know, and- She's not doing it in that housewife way where they're trying to have their own season, you know, they do that a lot on housewives, but then I'm not shooting with anybody else. This is my own like Bethany, like the Bethany Uncle Skinny Girl Factory or whatever. But she does not even try to do that. Just no one will talk to her. So it's like the revenge of the Sheena on Katie and Kristen and Stasi, the witches of WeHo, just like giving her her own show, not even knowing it.

And frankly, it's better than there so right now. Yeah. I feel like Sheena just did it at the base. That skyscraper and waited for someone to come along. I was like, Hey, do you want to film a scene with me at the top of the skyscraper? Cool. Come upstairs. Oh my God.

Or draw me from the bachelor. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I don't from the bachelor. I know. I'm sorry that I don't watch the bachelor or bachelor ads that way. I was able to, I know. I was like, but this way, I'm sorry. I don't have the full context of, you know, like the appreciation of his crossover moment. But you got his entire personality. Like he shows himself.

That's the thing about Robbie. He's not hiding it, you know. Yeah. He's a little more in drobby because he orange. So I mean, it's very himself. That's the thing about Robbie. He's not hiding it, you know, yeah, home-worn Robbie because he orange means very obvious. It's very on the nose. And then he's always trying to make everyone think he's really in love. But the guy is like, and look, I don't say every gay guy. I don't say every Guy is gay. Okay, not even every gay guy. I don't even think every gay guy is gay. Robbie is such a grifter. And I think he knows he he's gay and he's just like grifting women like Cena, you know, who are like, I just want to put a big open my back announcer. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything because I just didn't want to be that person. It's like, he seems gay, but like now that you've said it, I mean, as Camilla Grimm has said, now that what did she say? And now we've said it. I was like, I'm getting that vibe.

And no, that's not the first time the Bachelor of Bachelor has done that. I remember going back to 2004, 2005, Fabrice, he was gay and he was on there. Mm-hmm. He was actually out there. I don't really care because sometimes it's like, oh, they're in the closet, like the current one,

everyone's like, is he really gay? And I kind of care. Like if people can identify as like dogs in a bar, then he can identify a straight to me. Absolutely. But Robbie, I think knows he's gay and is just a grifter, which like, yeah, is so much to it, you know. Yeah, it makes me actually kind of like him.

So anyway, so this episode starts off. I'm a man with a job, you know, even especially if he's self-employed. Yeah, so this episode starts off. We're back at the birthday house that Shina and Ariana had had rented for their joint birthday party. And you know, at the end of the last episode, Shina had this crazy freak out where she was like, he literally left me, which is funny because she's the one who actually loved him to go downstairs for a bedroom. So she's like, she had just thrown her phone down on the floor, which is a lot of privilege,

a lot of phone privilege, as we mentioned. And now it's like, now it's like the morning after, you know, and there's like shit everywhere. You know, it sort of looks like chefs house in the morning, you know? So everyone's passed out. Schwartz is like under a table, and they're like, Schwartz, what are you doing down there? It's like, oh, Baba, I'm looking for my contacts, Baba. It's like, yeah. Wasn't that cute in season one? Yeah, I was like, so wasted. They're waking up under tables.

Now it's like, ugh. Like this is like not, I don't know. It could even be like even at their age. It could be too bad. I just kind of feel like with Tom Schwartz, his cutesy thing, it's like really getting long in the tooth. Like I was wasted and now I lost my contacts, I'm gonna search under this arbitrator, his spot, it's like, dude, this is turning into a bad look now in season seven. I know, bless this little heart.

That guy really doesn't have a lot going, you know? Yeah. What's gonna happen when all this ends, you know? I don't know, it's sad. Let's get dark. He's got Tom Tom. So Kristen, so Kristen and Katie and Brittany are all talking about how Stasi freaked out and bow and Kristen's like, yeah, seriously?

Stasi was screaming like, get in the room now. Like it was crazy, you know. And when Stasi wants something, Stasi gets when Stasi you want? Oh, I'm like, why is that bad like isn't that a good thing like what's the women empowerment? We're never stars. He wants Seagats. Oh, I know Lola's a lead in damn Yankees. Okay, like should we be proud of Stasi? But yeah, Chris is like that. He getting, Kristen is was scared because at the beginning of shooting for this season, they mentioned that Kristen was fired. And so I think Kristen's just like, oh, fuck with anyone. Where are they? Where are they? And she'll even try and

fight with Stasi right in front of her mom, which is really gross. Shame on you. That woman just advertised your gross, disgusting t-shirts and you're making me stand up for Stasi. There's a lot going on here that's not right, Kristen. Yeah, this is not right. So Katie, she's just, she's explaining, like, you know, talking about Bo and she's basically like, you know, Bo just wanted to kick it with us and like, I don't understand why that's such a big problem

for Stasi. I'm like, uh, so we just like go through all the archives of your tequila, Katie text messages to Tom Schwartz when he's been hanging out with Jacks and his friends? Yeah. Can you like, should we do that? Should we do that? Yes, please. And can I please just be honest, so I could just throw a drink on Katie's head every time

she says anything. Like, kicking it. What do you think of your voila now? Because you went on the PJ shut up, Katie. I was also irrationally mad that she still had her north of the wall braids in. I'm like the party's over. Take out your, take out your wildling braids. Yeah, enough with you. Enough with you, Targaryen, Katie. Yeah, Targaryen. What do you think you're a mother of dragons more like a mother of downers mother of wagons like where mother of mother of a mother of a

of an extra who was killed when there was a siege on its city. Oh, and then Katie's like, and then she was like literally sobbing because he was like, I can't be your punching bag. I was like, file a report, Katie. I can't handle anything that's coming out of Katie's mouth lately. Like, at least I could usually take her except for a couple episodes of season. Now I'm just like, shut up, Katie! Well, she's stopped really doing anything on the show some time last season. Now she just sort of sits around and just looks sour all the time. You know, I guess, well, she got James fired.

So, so now Stasian bow are settling down next to a, a zeroscape to have a very serious talk. There are a lot of cactuses. I, uh, a Xerrace scape, uh, to have a very serious talk. There are a lot of cactuses and I just learned that word. So I felt important for me to use it. So yeah, those crosswords are really, really, really helping. That was an answer. I was like, Xerace scape, what's that? And now it's like, oh my god, I get to use it.

They're standing in front of, they're sitting in front of a bunch of cacti. I wish you were a kindle, so I could like, hit you on the forehead and it would tell me what the fuck you mean. When I come across a word, I don't understand. Which is all the time. Oh, I've got a very highlighted Kindle. A zeroscape is like, it's like a landscape

except it's like for like dry land, like a desert landscape. Hmm. So like, so like, it's like landscaping, that's like desert landscaping. So like a bunch of cacti and levels. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. So that's the word of today's zero escape. When you hear this word, take a break. The other day I watch it. The other day is a normal landscape.

The other day I in for once. The other day I watched her happen, Slime, and he was like, today's word, when you hear the word, take a drink. And it was she, the word was she, SHE. I was like, that's a pretty random word to pick there, sir. Okay. So let's see, stossies.

So now we go to stossies. So we're gonna have a serious talk about last night and everything that happened. So we know it's serious because they're not even like she hasn't even put on her makeup and she's basically crying and he's like looking shaggy or the normal which is a lot because he's often very shaggy. Yeah, he is very shaggy. He could be on like a live version of Scooby Doo.

Yeah, he was just like a shaggy looking guy. He's lucky he's straight to you because that's it when like you can't just go around with Professor Hair like that, like Mad Professor Hair. No, that's straight privilege right there. Straight privilege. Yeah, straight guy can still be hot and have a hamburger and some frizzy hair and everyone's like, oh, he's great.

I was looking at this whole Facebook challenge like 10 years ago, whatever. I looked at that challenge and fucked up when I started that challenge too. Yeah, I definitely did not put my profile picture up because it was like, I couldn't, but I looked at it and it's basically, it's me in like, ill-fitting jeans and an untalered blazer and just like, I just looked like shit, but it was also because when I was in the closet and like when you are like straight or straight, ostensibly straight, you can just

dress like shit apparently. And that's like a pass. For a whole decade. And no one takes. That's fine. Also, I love that everyone's posting these pictures and not admitting, like, hello, we didn't have filters 10 years ago.

Of course you looked as, like, you didn't go from being like mildly chunky 10 years ago to a deer now. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, so Stasi's, so they sit down and Stasi does like her standard conversation opener when she's been crazy. She's like, I'm sorry. You know who else does that? Serial killers. Okay, that's a serial killer crime when you get caught. And so both like, yeah, you basically dick punched my heart.

I don't even know what that means. I don't even know how that. I'm not even sure I know what a dick punch is. A punch in the dick. What do you think? It's very, it's not like mystical. It's a punch in the dick. A dick punch. But then a dick punch in the heart, like when that just be a heart punch. I think it's like hurt so bad, it hurt his dick.

Oh, oh, where I had the equivalence of like a dick punch like hurts you on such a deep profound level and just that just but he felt it on an emotional level Whenever Zaris gave this confuses you It's like you poured water in my Zaris gate So then bow is just like what is this thing that makes you keep wanting to turn on me? And she's like, I don't know. I guess Sometimes I want a well groomed man. I don't know Sometimes I'm terrible and against the lack of a co So yeah, she's like, I'm so concerned you'll leave me because of the way that I act and he's like, well

How are we gonna change that which I like that? he was like, no, I won't leave you because it's very important to let someone know you will leave them if they keep yelling at you and throwing their phones on the ground. Okay. Yeah. When you're married, that phone is your phone too that she just cracked. Okay. Yeah.

I think the boat is basically like, listen, I've seen you in action. I entered into this relationship knowing you were a crazy bitch. You have mood swings. You have needy tendencies. You can be basic AF. And a large segment of the population truly just hates you. And I took that onto consideration and I'm happy to move forward with you. Yeah, so it's okay. I have a gorgeous apartment, you're hot, and you have a PlayStation VR. So let's do this. Just please don't throw down the PlayStation VR. We're done, right? Yeah, just pretend you're Cersei, and I'm your brother, and I'm like, listen, I know this is incest, right now. No, this is wrong, but I'm okay with it. So don't worry about it. I can leave you. And she's like, I'm a dick. I'm an erect dick. And I was like, it's not a goal. Like, what the hell? So what is that a bad thing? She's like, I'm a ice cream cone. Like sounds delicious. Like, is this how you hate yourself? Because I need to learn that.

Yeah. So anyway, he's like, I'm not walking away. So I'm just gonna drunkenly shuffle along. So James so now Now that James is not drinking he goes back to his previous vice ice cream I call ice cream ice cream Boss cream This is how we know he's really serious about quitting booze because he's back on the ice cream back. Back at the ice cream store. I love that it's like facts of life. You know, it's like, I need some comfort. I'm going to the candy shop. Where I also live.

Or 50 cent, yeah. Yeah, or 50 cent, yeah. I'll take it to the candy shop. I'll show you what's all about. Good. Poor James, you know, it kind of relitifiered me that I had the first time this happened when he's like, oh, I'm not going to drink a treat me like I'm never being naughty!

And he went to the ice cream shop and I just thought, God, let this be a Deltaberg storyline because we haven't had one of those lately, right? We're like a designing woman just gets like really, really big. I'm here for that. I need it. I relate to it. Like a curse-be-alley. We have a curse-be-alley.

That's a bit like a multi-season arc for Jack's. Jack's was more the season arc of the killing that show where the girl was put in a trunk and then like was riding in the river and she got like river blot. That was Jack's season, you know. I feel like Jack's is I feel like Jack's has had more like a Jan Hooks storyline on designing women, which is that like we all like we wanted it to be so great, but it's about being ultimately sad and like forgettable. And what did Jam Hooks do to deserve that everybody? Nothing. I know. She deserved better than what she got on designing women.

So she called Katie a whore. I mean, so anyways, so James is at the ice cream shop and joining him is his old friend Arthur who I totally forgot about. You know, we like to keep tabs on all the characters that come through the Van the Pumper Rules universe and Arthur has been to me at least completely forgotten. So he's a former manager at pump turned life coach and if ever there was a great like benchmark on your resume or qualification for being a life coach it's having been a manager pump. Yeah well maybe it's like he escaped you know he's like I stopped being a manager pup they're like hi heard yeah that man has integrity yeah he's like he's just a

life assistant powder for the new generation yeah I don't trust the assistant powder for the new generation. Yeah, I don't trust a Susan powder. You gotta eat breathing new people. Stop the insanity. Yeah, it was a little fat kid walking around El Paso tech just going, and then wondering why didn't he's way fucking Susan powder. Arthur powder. Arthur powder. Well, never trust a live coach with hair like that.

Because his hair is like 10 blow dryers big. And I just don't trust that. I feel like people with confidence don't like blow dry hair that much. Also, never trust a life coach whose last job was at pump. He's like, this is what you have to do in life. Sometimes you gotta take strawberries and turn them into pump tini's. That's a great thing. Pump tini!

Pump tini! So James goes back to the ice cream store. Wow, this is what I wrote in my notes. So he's like, wow, this is another level of ice cream, bro. Amazing, bro. I never want to be naughty again. And he's like, this is like literally the storyline we did last year like a year and a half ago Did I some more ice cream because of it? No, I didn't okay. What do you do here? Did you bring me money?

I figured out what went wrong last time last time I was using the ice cream that uses liquid nitrogen So freezes real quick, but melts with a quick tube and I melted too quick I need to have traditional ice cream so that way I say it's a hard hard ice cream and say a good little boy I got a little boy yeah he's a mess okay and he's like and he even says he's like I want my jaw back sir so I decided to stop drinking for now I'm like oh okay major changes ahead yeah even authors like listen I'm barely a life coach But I know enough to say that you said the exact same thing two years ago and we're in the exact same place

Hmm, you know James I'm a big fan of mantras. Do you know where I can get a Hyundai mantra? I believe that's a Hyundai launch Christian on one Oh Nevermind nevermind. Well, I guess I can just give you three words about yourself that you love when you're sober. This is a great party game Is this a party game or is this a life coaching moment? I still not quite decide. I'm very new on this journey He's like masturbation Rosewater hot dog. How about some other ones? Alright, how about fat, lazy, pump teeny. Fat man Lala

So let me see here James we've had this conversation okay. Oh, it's real words DJ boots Chinese divider scream Farmhouse kitchen sink masturbation. Did I already say masturbation, bro? Oh, shit. Mom, dad. Stabation.

Little Chinese. Stabation. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha real mantras are, Oh, when I'm sober, I am honest, giving, and driven. I'm like, mm-hmm-hmm. You're driven by Uber, hopefully, or you would have had 19 DUIs by now. And I don't know how honest you are. But okay, I'll go with it. You know, whenever someone's trying to heal,

I will say this life coach is extremely intelligent to be life coaching people around something he can sell. It's like thanks for coming to life coaching. Would you like some ice cream and a t-shirt to go with it? So I'd become a life coach if I meant I can get free ice cream out of it. And he'll be like, oh, you're buying me ice cream? Sure. What do you need to know. Um, yeah, so Ronnie, uh, named three, uh, I need three nouns and then an adjective and a verb. It's like, Ben, are you just doing madlibs with me? No, no, this is gonna help. This is gonna help. I'm like, can you say to keep masturbating and I'm not any more successful? All right, we have your psychological evaluation. My name is Ronnie Karim. I enjoy fish tanks. My name is Ronnie Karim. I enjoy fish tanks At night I like to walk the wallpaper when it gets plump outside. I thought okay, you're here

God I miss mad lives. I know right. Yeah, but they're not the best thing ever It's like the best invention ever. We should actually have mad lives for watch it crap It's oh I am a hundred percent down to that. Okay everyone look at all mad! I am calling the five families of West Hollywood to convene. For the sir. It's the sir company meeting. Whenever we have a big shake up at Sir, I like to have a company meeting. Everyone who doesn't actually work here to reinforce that I actually work here to reinforce that I

actually work here. And them correct on everything broken little bird. So she is I call upon the witches of WeHo, the nameless managers, the new sluts and of course the Bia Jesus. And can we please give a special round of applause to the new twiek bus boy who won't age well. Welcome. Welcome, dry face. Welcome. Peter, give everyone a round of shots.

He's like, it's not even the reunion. Peter! Peter, Peter! Don't be a punk in it. You naughty little boy. All right, Peter has unleashed his second button, which means it's time to get down to business. Jackson's sweating and shaking for no reason, and meeting is begun. Now, does anyone have anything to say, and Peter's like,

Jackson's doing great. Jackson's great, Jackson's doing great. Jackson's great. Jackson, like Peter, Jesus Christ, can you get vagina on your own? Are you still climbing up the jack's tree for a vagina? Go for your own hunt, you ass kiss. That tree has a lot of sap, too. You're like, ooh. So, um, you're stuck to the tree. You're like, oh no!

There's like a mystery on me. It's sap. It's sap. I like, I tried to call my name inside the tree and my hair got stuck to it. So Lisa's like... When there's been a shakeup at the restaurant, I like to bring people together and have a big staff meeting. So today's news is this.

We are no longer serving the goat cheese balls. There, I said it. Shake up. I'm sick of the patriarchy. We are getting rid of all balls on the menu. We have a big shake up. We are no longer going to be referring to us, referring to a task, Patagonian. Toothfish, it shall now be known as Chilean sea bass. And it's a map!

Um, so, sometimes I have a question, so like, what's your idea for possible employees for Tom Tom? Like, I don't want to approach anybody, but like, if we're over, they could come over there. So, coaching! Now you're thinking like a business owner. For Bunk, I just got checks in the head with my hot poon! Now that's what I call business. Pass go. Do collect $100. So now that they're talking about, they start talking about James.

And like, all right, well James isn't here any more. As we all know, he was the DJ that in residence on Tuesdays while we did trip with the amount of money. And Jackson's like, he's not like Rolex, okay, which it's a fair point. He is not like Rolex. Although I don't know which one would actually sound better, to be honest. I'm not sure. I mean, he has a play button in a Mac, okay? And and he brings feelings so I think that that counts So Jackson's just furious and he's just gotten his like a little tiny job in the back bar back And he's gonna like come in here and start yelling at Lisa. I hate this fucking tool

Just get rid of him or get rid of everything and while you're out of here We're not bitch Brittany to I'm a little sick of her mouth I'm not I think you are you fuck jacks and now you get to be a monster to you That's not how it works, ma'am. He's guarded. He's protected by his shallow fake muscles and Royd rage and Horriness. Yeah, yeah, she's getting on my nerves a little bit. I have to admit Diana though. I was so happy to see the return of Diana. She's like she's like I was so happy to see the return of Diana. She is like, she's like,

but James was so great for Tuesdays. Tuesdays was so great and Bernie's like, I can't believe you're talking about a business point of evil sitting at him for you,lings. I'm like, well, this is a business and businesses are famously known for not carrying bad employees feelings. Yeah, it's like that's in the rule,

but to be a business owner, it has nothing to do with feelings. Now you're not thinking of business, bitch. Yeah? Beer cheese sounds more like, Fia cheese, get it! I know, I love that Jackson's throwing Skrillex criticisms when he's like trying

to start a beer cheese business that he's making zero effort for. I know, there isn't even a Skrillex of beer cheese that we can mock him for Yeah, so she's like business. She's like daddy's heart full. I'm not being emotional What I have to say I did do it if I did I can do that Jimmy get the fuck out of here. I'll choose it look I'm not gonna stand up for James James is wrong. I mean we have to say it every week I don't want anybody to think this is taking it for James

But what are these fucking people do that only but work there. I think James is the only person who actually works there. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm gonna take it on face value that they do work there, like, because they do work there a little bit. I mean, I had Gina as a waitress once. I mean, she really was a waitress. But I mean, I know that they are not like, they don't work a lot there. I do, I don't totally understand, I never mind, I do understand the purpose of the group meeting because it is important to talk about this stuff with your staff because it clearly didn't need to be an understanding about like what language is appropriate and what's not not appropriate, but I just thought it was so hilarious that when when Brittany

spoke up and said like, you're not considering our feelings. How then Lisa and Vanderpump got so mad at Brittany, she's Brittany and he's like, it hurtful. I was like, I can't believe they're both mad at each other right now over this stupid thing. Yeah. And she was like, well, he's only eight and nine to eight. So I'm just so worked on two things or three times. I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, listen, the texture of more of the dropout. I am more of the dropout.

And Jack's is like, um, can I ask how many times he's been fired lying seriously? Jack's. Tom just like, he like breaches from underwater. Jack's like, yeah. So, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, oh yeah, there's a five, there's no name here, don't have me here. I'm like, please don't do that, Jack. You're the one, we have to sit and watch you beg

and ask for your job back as you're a change man. And then Lisa had to build like a fake little bar in the back from like the old school play that Max was in in sixth grade, you know? Like the little bar in the garden. He's like, why does my bar look like the set of guys and dolls? She's actually, why does my bar look like the set of guys and dolls? Why does my bar have little wheels on it? People dress in black, he's scooting me on and off. Why is there a scream

in front of my bar? When the lights go up, you'll find out. It reminds me of my role in a tree grows in Brooklyn where I had I think my only thing my only line was a musical line Where I had to go apples pencils only a nickel Mr. That's how it like the show opened up. It was like little peddlers in Brooklyn. That was my moments That's what I know. I was in a play called Diamonds when I was a teenager and my plans were This compete of a musical lyrics Musicals just love setting the stage by having you know various newsies and like by having, you know, various newsies and like, merciless. She's calling out their wares. Yeah, they're, that would be like, that would be like,

pump D-E-C bass, goat cheese balls, all of it in here, mister. Have an agro, Mr. Goldstone. I don't know why I thought of that. Okay, so she's like, I'm not a bad job on, and Jackson, and Lisa's like, if you're going to talk to me like this, Jackson, Jackson, Waxi,, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest, że to jest, że to, że to jest, że to jest to, że to jest to, że to jest, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że, że to, że to, że, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że to, że, że to, że to, że, że to, że to, że to, że, że to, że to, że, że, że is bartender. Yes, Jackson. He's she goes I don't like your body language. You're shooting out sweat bullets. You're shaking. Your vein is coming out. Your testicles have shrunk up to little tiny tiny models. I don't have an erection. And he's like, it's your restaurant.

So then Billy Lee who's come in like her wig is looking exceptionally eerie Falco-ish and she's like Actually one last thing about Kristen actually and he's just like Kristen She's like oh yeah, well, I mean every time that she comes every time that James is playing Kristen comes in and she's like a trigger. Uh, uh, uh, and Katie's like, oh, it's not now it's all questions. But I'm like, no, it's yours too. May I get to you? I will get to you. It's amazing how Kristen is becoming the villain here

when James is at the most disgusting things. Look at that, me putting facts together. Come in, narrative. Kristen has flown in girls. To confront people at the restaurant about getting other people pregnant. Christian is the villain. She already was the villain. Okay. No one made Christian the villain. She's right for that spot. Christian's been the villain likes in season two. Season one, she was pretty

benign, but season two, her crazy came out and it's been there this entire time. So it's not that she's became the villain. It's just that sometimes we remember that she's the villain. Yeah, we're reminded Yeah, so now Lala's getting mad. She's like skew skew You know what like James has said the most awful things and he has like no one in his life Mama to hold him accountable. Okay, skew skew squeewee Sweet bitch marrying a fat old man is not like a dad to keep you accountable. Okay, man, give me a break with this account. Who's holding Lala accountable for anything,

except American Express? Well, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's a business owner. I wouldn't let Kristen in here. Uh, uh. Uh.

Uh, uh, uh. And she's like, it doesn't get him to write the call. Her fat Mia Hore. I'm like, okay, I'm with you, I'm with you there, but Billy's just like, I just wouldn't have Kristen in here. Which is true. No one watch Kristen in there. She told Diana to go suck a dick or eat a dick,

depending on your memory. Kristen shouldn't be allowed in any business. It's like, you know, like, you know, there's certain like rules about like, what can go into a building. You know, I think there's got to be a special category for Kristen. Like, let her just like, like, just let her like, like, walk around in circles outside the door. Okay. Don't like Kristen and Kristen from the field.

You need the special letter to bring her in, like an emotional support, Kristen. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you, like, you can bring around to an airplane if you have your airplane if you have a doctor's note But otherwise it's like not fair like she needs other own little vests Yeah, and I know that you'd be okay with that because she is admitted that she does that for her own dog Mm-hmm and then Billy spouts out her first Her biggest line of the season which is good She's gonna probably say 20 times because a lot was like this and employer chances of business onanssen is a business center, and we can go back all day, we can go back and forth all day long, home girl, and now.

I'm like, okay, street La La, I love when La La is like, La La from the block, you know. And then Bill is like, bitch, you are not better than me. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. So, uh. I'm going to the groundwork for the rest of the break up. The reason is like, Lisa Vanderpump is a fine like, So uh I'm going to the groundwork for the rest of the The least of the season At least the vanopomp is fine like listen. I don't support making fun of each other and fat shaming

I want me aren't we more evolved than that like no no no No you have to tape your uniforms to your waitresses you are the original fat Samar You are serving you are serving to thear Tar from 1986. You have not evolved to 2018 yet. I don't support James Rapping fake Katie Blobby blob what a hoofy center knob. Alright there I sell it. I will not have rhymes like this for at least four more days. Aren't we more evolved like that? I mean the company that mixes TV show is called Evolution Studios. Get it! Production joke! Get it! So, uh, this is like also what we're writing on everybody here, just to make it fair.

This is Settle Lease of Annerpump Move. here so just to make it fair this is such a lease of antiprop move to be like I'm calling a meeting so everyone can see how me too I am with the me too us we shall not accept men except at the next party and next week when I re-employ him which is like it noted that I did buy him for 48 hours yes my pussy bell means business it's time for commercial it's time for I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. But Rapin's commercial. So, uh, now we're at Stasi's apartment. How dare you call my power pussy? I do not support that. Power of the pussy. Grab me by my pussy.

So, uh, so we're at Stasi's apartment and she the question, which I never thought she would ask, which is, do I look literary chic? Yeah, I was like Wednesday, Adam's wrote a book because she's like wearing the Wednesday Adam outfit. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, like Stephen King's daughter. first time I've been with my publisher and I'm like, uh-oh. Okay, how's this gonna go? Cause we've seen, this is turning into a housewives show. Did you notice? Because we have this scene of a publisher that's really like, okay magazine in disguise. And the beating stuff up in a junk yard or whatever,

junk yard tour. This is also the part where I started to really downwind the spiral because basically, Stasi got a book deal, she has a book which I think just came out called next level basic about embracing your basic bitch. And I was like, I can't believe that Stasi has that right and credit before I do. This is sad. This is what the world has come to for me. I was smart open. I don't know about you, but I was pissed off during the scene mainly because every time they cut to the Skype call

Stasi had a stupid notification up that was like, do you want to share your screen? And like she would not close it. I'm like hit that damn X you've been having an entire conversation with a notification on your window This is unacceptable. I can't deal Well, I'd like to thank the co-author of this book Siri Because you know that's how you know that's how anybody affiliated with Bravo is gonna write a book. Yeah. The whole book is like, where's the nearest Taco Bell? Maybe. I'm sorry, I can't answer that.

Okay, so he's like supportive and they're like, okay, we want your book then in five minutes. He's like, okay, subscribe! Oh no, what do I do? I know. So, and then we also learned that there's going to be a mom's, mom's girls night later. That's going to be Stasi's mom, Katie's mom and Kristen's mom. So it's like double the coven, double the fun. So I'm already very excited for this.

Yeah, I'm at this point watching the show. I'm like, I'm not going to be horrified at all watching this episode. It's just a pretty humdrum episode. Nothing's going to trigger. Now that we're on the mood. No, not trigger. And then we go over to Lisa Vanderpump. She's with Jiggy and Ken and she's like, the crispy chicken was really good. Was it a Jiggy? Was it dead? I'm like, the way to sell the food it's served is not by showing how much dogs enjoy it. Oh, some might call it dog food. Combysel! Chef Joe, compliments to the kitchen from my dog. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So the Daily Mail wants to do a big party at Tom Tom and so they have to get it all ready

and Pandora, in case you forgot Pandora took over the cocktail menu which I feel like has not been adequately dramatized. I feel like there needs to be some scene with Pandora and Tom and Tom because the idea of Pandie doing the cocktails actually kind of bothers me on a certain level. I'm like, why does Pandora get to do that? Does that that's not her expertise, is it? So it's a bit... Well, Lisa says it is.

So Tom, in the episode they announced it, Tom was like, well, it's not me. Well, it gives her the right. She's never worked behind the bar in her life. So then Pandora went on Twitter and she's like, really? Never worked. Never had a bar certificate. How about this time? And then someone's like, well, Tom, do have to say I love your drink blah blah blah

And she's like, oh, what a shocker. That's mine. I was like really? Please bring me some Vanderpump yelling at Tom Tom, please Pandey's probably like, oh not a bartender. Perhaps you missed the episode last season where I had a bartender my mother's own Beverly Hills lifestyle magazine event Does pouring cheap wine into plastic tumblers not count Mr. Taylor? I mean, Mr. Sandoval. Oh, I guess using the soda machine at the Wendy's no longer counts. Well, here's the thing.

I don't, I don't like that she's making the drinks either. I mean, it is called Tom Tom. They're supposed to make the drinks on the other hand. Make your fucking drinks. Why don't you have your list turned in? It's like, I didn't do my homework, but I'm at that somebody else got a good grade. That's true.

Well, either way, they are getting to put three of their own drinks onto the menu for the Daily Mail party. So they're presenting, it's like a top chef moment. So they're presenting all their cocktails, the Lisa and Ken, starting with a clock pink, which is actually my favorite drink over there at TomTom, which is really good.

And then something called the Cape Canaveral Caprese, I'm not even sure, I don't seem to remember that from menu, but that is like, those are concepts that I don't imagine pairing in general, and then especially not in a cocktail glass, like a Caprese salad and keep cannabral. That's... It's a block of, it's a literal ball of mutter-religies and a dot game. It's a...

What we do is we take a tomato and put a... pizza mozzarella on it and then a tomato and a mozzarella and make a little rocket and then we send it off into space and by space I mean... You're stopping Yeah, there were some odd ones and I'm shocked at least it likes all the pink ones She's like oh so it's like the pink puppy team and they're like yes, Lisa. I'll take it. Oh take ten I need to announce this with a pendulum that swings back and forth The time by nickelane Speaking of which, I have to announce something very serious.

Tomorrow, there should be a cloud of smoke on Santa Monica Boulevard, and the my show himself, Nicolaine, shall arrive, and you must stay far, far away! Tomorrow, the city will be awakened by the slight sound of, ting, ting, ding, has nickelane, takes out his little wand, and ding, ding, ding, on a moving truck that is so conveniently hot pink in color! Tom and Tom, I am giving you these, these are sashes. They're called bird box sashes. You ought to put them on when Nikolayne arrives. You shall not look at him for your eyes could be burned into little pebbles. Do you understand? You shall be burdened with nightmares of all the things you'll never be.

Nicolaine for one? Yeah, these are two tickets to a roller derby, and I want you to attend it tomorrow afternoon. It's not where you are far, far away from Maestro Nicolay and while he does, his masterpiece. I love that she won't let them go to their own restaurant. I know. So rude. But then she does have a good point because she does have a good point because she says Nicolayne said that he needs peace and quiet and the last time he saw the Tom Toms, they had just been drinking for three days and lost wages. Get it!

That was a flashback to that. We saw a flashback to that and that was funny because Lisa really was pissed at them. You can see she's like, stop it. Stop it. So now we go over a place called a rage ground, which is also the original name of this show. And Stasi Katie and Brittany show up. And it's like one of these places where you get like a baseball bat and you get to break things, you know. So they are just like, it's like they're just like breaking shit, you know, I mean, like, oh my god, this is like therapeutic and Brittany is like, This is for all the boys who have done stupid shit to us. I'm like Yeah, you could like break that

Hewlett Packard printer or you could just like not get engaged to this boys who do stupid shit to you maybe And she probably kept her ring on during that whole thing to idiot So So Brittany yeah, Katie's like Brittany has a ring but also the most rage torque I'm like shut up Katie your boyfriend poured water on or poured a drink on your head okay I'm like told you to shut up at your own bathroom party like please you got married like in the woods to a guy who I hadn't taken a shower after swimming in a fucking closed pond for three days. When they're wedding, it was a Wednesday wedding case.

He tells them to be friends. He tells Wednesday wedding, reverse-centred groom. Yeah, and she's like, the patriarchy, like shut up, Katie. Patriarchy, is that a kind of bio-cheese? Is that like wood? So then of course they have nothing going on for themselves. So Katie's like, well you know, Brittany has escaped Ever being put on the burner on this show. So let's probably Brittany a little bit Yeah, she's like so Brittany

I feel lighter after that don't you and I was like like why are you saying that like you're just opening the door Shit in there She's like I feel lighter like um, you know, I know you wanted to do this last year with jacks Is that still on your mind? She still want to break things because of jacks and she's like No, I mean we still did it pretty regularly Yeah, thankfully we have a lot of plastic wear. She's like, no I mean, because like Jackson's a horrible human being, a monster, a pig, and an enemy of a meaty movement.

And she's like, I don't like it, but it's not that kind of idea, okay? Jackson's different, and he was different before his dad passed. So don't say it's just because it's dad, or he's played the dad card, but his dad is dead and have dare you say something like that. Yeah. I just really want people to believe in our relationship. You know, I want to believe, I want people to believe that a guy who's like a serial full-ander ruler,

and someone who chates on girlfriends all the time, including just 18 months ago, that he can suddenly change over and out. And we could have a long lasting, beautiful love affair that will last the rest of our lives. Why can't people believe it? Something as simple as that. Well, I want people to believe my mouth is a deposit box. Okay, it doesn't work.

You hooker. But I'm loving Britney watching Britney just fucking lose it because she's so in the wrong for this and she's so making a mistake and I cannot wait until two years from now where they're playing this over and over again while she's crying as some motel sits. Yes.

Well, Britney is also doing that really annoying thing that happens in relationships where, especially where there's like codependency issues Especially when there's a guy who like treats the girl like shit because probably she has daddy issues Which is that she ultimately Like circles the wagons around her man, you know, and so and and it's annoying because then when he invariably does something shitty to her He like cheat on her. She's like I am three, I am three, I'm gonna be my own woman. And then she goes to her friends, and the friends all gather around her and lift her up and support her

and talk all the shit about the guy, and then all of a sudden she's back with him. And then it's like, now you look like an asshole because you tried to help her. Yes, and this is about the age, you know, they're at about that age where you just get sick of that shit And you're like, no, I'm just not gonna be your friend if you're gonna keep going back to that abuse of dick, okay? Yeah, like I've had enough, okay? You're not supposed to be on my fucking couch. Yeah, never fold the sheets up. You eat everything in my refrigerator You never offer to pay for anything and you use all my toilet paper, okay? Yeah, it's like I I sat there for three hours Listening to you talk about how you're moving on from

Jack's and how he broke your heart and you're just going to be single, briny. And I gave you, I sat there when I could have been playing Nintendo and I gave you advice and I listened to you cry and then the next day you go back to him. Like, I'm done, done, done. Yeah. And Katie's realized that too because she spent all this time crying about Tom number two and she finally married him. And you know that that guy is like on a constant you know that that guy has a big long wooden stick with the key on the end Because he's got a hall pass everywhere he goes

You are not gonna get me to believe that Tom Schwartz is suddenly not fucking other people now that he owns a restaurant with hot Skanks all over it trying to get into his pants, okay? Yeah, but Katie at least is at that place where she's like Yeah, I've talked about it enough. I have a ring So I'll just speak quiet for a while and shift the focus to Brittany. Okay? Well, Tom and Katie have also settled into a total like 1950s, 1960s, you know, like relationship, like a death of a salesman

sort of situation where he just goes drunk and they have like unspoken, you know, tension between them. I feel like that is being masked by like getting stoned and like, and like, and declaring how much they love each other. Yeah, it's like that. You know how it goes. Tennessee Williams, fair, you know.

I saw a classic mid-century playwright stuff. You just really clasped up this show. So they start talking about Sheen or Beniner who they're like mortified because she's like, she's standing right in front of the bachelor rat and she's like, Instagramming everything. And I was like, um, did anybody else hear lovebirds singing because he's the thirstiest queen, yes! Like, he is the thirstiest queen on TV ever. And I was saying something like, that say Jack is still on TV.

But he's like thirst and so she and they literally are Instagramming every second of their day. Yeah, we then cut over to Shino with Robbie, and like the music is all like sweet, lovable heart music, and she's like, I met Robbie at Surge, he's actually friends with Adam, so I met him through, I met him through Adam, and like, I don't know, he just, like he always makes me feel special,

and they cut, as she says, he always makes me feel special and they cut as she says he always makes me feel special they cut to him literally shoving her down a shoot they're going down this like a little slide on a skyscraper I always feel special especially when he tries to throw me up the side of a building and they had tricks he modical write a song that sounds just like Everybody's talking at me I'm here over the same Like this is so good That's so probi- Because that part of-

There is a part of that song that sounds exactly like Shina RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Oh, that's a scene that going down the suit. Oh, yeah, I'm sliding here. Okay. That's just, you know, I could imagine Gina being in midnight cowboy and like, it's like Adam, Shay or Rob is like Ratsar Rizzo and like on that bus, where I listen Florida, hey, are you listening? We're in Florida, we're in Florida, we're in Florida.

Hey, we're in Florida, we're in Florida. Are you dead? Did you die? Did you die on the way to Florida? Are you dead? We're in Florida, in Florida. So it turns out that Ratsar Rizzo died on the way to Florida, so it's like it's fine.

I'll just keep being me. I'll just keep being myself in this mod night call by So they're talking about how she's dating Adam, but he won't fuck her and Adam's roommates with With Robbie who won't fuck her and Stasi's like so she's dating two guys who lived together that both won't fuck her Seems like it's going well and then then we go back up to the skyscraper and like, she knows, so the thing is the way this skyscraper, this slide works is that it's just like a one-store slide, but it's glass, it looks like you're over nothing. And so she's slid down and landed on the mattress,

and then she's like sitting there, and she's getting her phone ready because she wants to put on Instagram, Rob becoming down the slide, and he just slides down like prematurely. She's like, oh my god, I was gonna put this on Instagram, but like you went down too quickly. Oh my god, we ended up we ended up on what floor? He goes 69. Say.

Oh, and he does the battle right kids how he always kissed on the bats. Lorette and I know that all of you can't see this and I apologize, just give me a couple of seconds, because it looks like this. Where he's like not wanting to be put. Yeah, he's not wanting to like really engage in it, but he wants to see, he wants to look sexy doing it, but he doesn't actually want to have to like touch China. So he's like, like against a mirror or gets like a window like she's like I feel like we're already on date number 10 like I'm just excited because I guess that means that tomorrow I'm getting engaged next not TV challenge what are you then Rob is, so what do you think I will sleep with you? And she's like, um, because you're not attracted to me. Ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh,

She's like, hey, it's over, I will, mom! And he's like, I'll give you a ride, I'll be. The thing is that you're not my typical type. You're like too perfect. Like, normally I like a guy who's like fat Dumpy has no career enjoys a barcala under tries to be like a singer quote unquote his last name is the same as his first name Um, and like he sort of smells like Fritos Do you have a big goat cup punch guard?

How fast can you put up a TV? Can you do it and seven minutes or less? Now all this said I'm happy for she and her shallow love, you know Me too. I say give it to she that that girl's been in nothing but misery since we've seen her on this show, okay? Give her a little something So now a back over in West Hollywood It's the my strobe express. I love that Lisa gets a hot pink moving truck BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA He's put on his fancy a shiny vest and he's ready to get to work. Nick, do you perhaps want some extra hands from Tom and Tom? They could have heard about it with muskley's like no.

He's like no. No, no thanks. So, like, will I just want you to let you know on camera that I tried to get them into the scene. Also, I fired a sexual arasa. Alright, keep moving, everybody. Keep moving. So they're starting to unload the truck and all of a sudden we're... Hey! Oh wow! When I call my window, get...

Whoa! Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, about two goes, but can I get you a tea, bombers? And she's like, and Tom goes, you know, I don't even do that. He's like, sure. And then they go try and watch it. Then they show us, watch. I quit, I quit everything. Then we get to see him try to make tea in his affairs. Tea is really hard to make, okay? Yeah, it's soups. Yeah, it's soups hard. Yeah, so they're never having tea and then the guys are just like so mad that they can't go in their restaurant, but at least some in malls like, dick and iron, if you can hear me, do not open the door for anyone unless we hear the secret code, which is... And if it's panda you might hear.

Okay. And if it's copy. You'll just hear his head thumping against the door. As he tries to figure out why he's not turning around and vacuuming the road to the street. Yes. Boom. Hello darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling.

It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. It's me darling. I'm trying to get a little little bit. It's me darling. It's a rap place. It's a rap,

Cheechy LaRue. Do do shop. Darling. Nick, if someone tries to live a pizza, do not open the door. Pizza's here. See what I'm saying. Don't get it. Pizza fresh pizza fresh pizza don't make don't go to the door now It's not the labor is the journal. He's like I'm looking at there. I guess I guess it's just hit me again. I mean we've always known this but They really did open a mother-fucking restaurant in the Chi Chi La Rue Dildo store. I mean, you've got to, I mean, come on, that's pretty. That's gold.

That's gold. And I like I've said before, I like Tom Tom quite a bit. It's a good bar. I think it's the still serving bowls. Okay, so, yeah, so they're basically loading in and the Tom's are upset that they don't get to go in, of course. And she's like, I want to surprise them. Like take them blindfold off and see if they'll commit suicide.

They'll see their deepest fears in this restaurant. So now we go to Estrella and Kristen is doing the relaunch of James May, which is her t-shirt line and I've invited a lot of friends and family and media outlets And by media outlets, I mean actually power outlets. There's one over there. You want to plug something in? This is out not there. Oh, it's so rude. So could you power out it? Yeah, it's a lot. Well, the relaunch, because I tried to like, it James May done years ago, but like,

didn't work. So wait, and then we get, we see clips of her trying, kind of that hurts. And then we see her do clips again, or we see clips of her original shirts that were like a paragraph long. It's like, sometimes you don't want to be yourself. That's what you need to look inside the mirror and say like, hi, mirror, it's me, Kristen, on myself, and that's great, okay? Turn it over to the back. Please continue on back. Previously on the front side of this shirt.

You're the dick Diana. Standing tall on the wings of the world. Rise and fall. Standing tall on the wings of the world rise and fall So everybody is coming to support and I Have you ever been thrown out of a building but then you didn't fall because we're in a slide actually I've never heard of 4.69 crazy things happen there. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just tired and over it. She's like, she's like, I love Detroit for this. So, so Lala and Ariana are talking and Lala's like, I want to talk to James Gisky because like, like he has no on and like, I want to be a human being, so for a second, I'm blocking and I was like, uh-huh.

Well, everyone's like, why am I here? Why am I supporting this T-shirt line right now? And why does this see people executing me so well I was like hey James it's Skisky yeah I'm like why you call me Lola what you want what you want she's like I'm like a human being with like a beating heart so I reach out to you I have no evidence of that right now. She's like, I want to see if you have time to chat and he's like, what are you getting out of this? Laura. Obviously I don't trust you no more, Laura. Right? And he's all like her. And she's like,

um, you know what? We don't have to be friends, but let's be two human beings, you care for other human beings now that I've gotten you fired from the only thing that ever mattered to you and then far from you to stay fired. Okay, that would be great. Let's feed like just like two human beings who both have heartbeats and one lives in the hills and one lives in a part of the park a floors, okay? Yeah, one has a little to make her face look like five different thumbs trying to clap in a rainstorm and one of us is supporting their mom. How about that? So and I like that they keep cutting to Ariana and Ariana's just going, yes.

I'm like, uh, she's like thinking't even think of it. Keep, keep, can't have a, Caprese is such a parody of itself. I can't even think of another version. Something as, as hilarious as that. Yeah, it's pretty good. You know, it's a good thing about Santa Paul. He just pretty much gives it to you. You know, he's like, here's a tray. Here's a tray to throw at me. Okay, see you later. Uh, this is the Pentagon Chop Salad, and it's actually a cocktail somehow. The Pentagon Dick!

National Security Organization Cobb. Cocktail. Okay, so, Britmy. So, access side, a little fucking tattletail. Wait, I just have to say that when the conversation's over, Lala turns Ariana, she's like, I am not wearing lashes tomorrow. And Ariana's like, yeah, don't.

Because you guys are gonna talk about some real shit. Like I'm glad to be settled that. Okay, I was like, it's like, is Lala gonna wear her lashes? That sounds like a leak. Sounds like it's time for latisse. Yeah, I'm not buying this is Lala gonna wear her lashes? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha know if this girl is trying to start fights with the witches we hope but you better back down idiot okay that cousin the Taco Bell Covent has given you life on this show you never would have made it this far had they not embraced you and they haven't started fights with you either the most they've done is like pat your head and be like um peer cheese okay

you better be nice okay yeah you're writing the wrong tales in this one So she's like well, we mentioned we're right room and he's like oh She's like what's that so I get to play she get to break whatever you want. He's like oh, sir. She's like no jacks Oh any hotel room right hotel rooms, right? No jacks He's like Laura Lee's a meeting no break up with somebody He's like, uh, Laura Lee's AA meeting. No, not break up with somebody. Many women's spirits. No, Jax.

He's like, well, a real ray of dream. Yeah, but you girls had a bunch to be mad about. Women and their emotions. Yeah. And Brinney is telling Jax about what Katie said and everything. And Jax tells us, you know. Listen, our relationship is perfect. I mean, as perfect as it can be for right now. Yeah, I'm like, as perfect as it can be,

considering that you cheated on her like a year ago and have like played all sorts of mind games with her. And now you guys are investing in beer cheese. Yeah, sounds as perfect as that. Yeah, sounds great. So chef, well, Katie was saying she wants to make sure we're still working on our relate. And he's like, Katie. Yeah, she's the one So chef well, Katie was saying she wants to make sure we're still working on our relate and he's a Katie Yeah, she's the one you said something out of everyone. I'm like, yep, you've really changed jacks Like you're immediately gonna like rag on your best friends wife right now

So he's like, well, that's just crazy because like we were better before I even proposed so Yeah, Britney is like I was also saying because like Elb at least the Vanderpump was like mad at me And I just like I hate that and like I can't say I'm a people are disappointed in me You see I got daddy issues like in case you couldn't tell I have like major major daddy issues And I constantly seek people's approvals. You ever have that happen to you now, okay? He's like well people don't see what goes on behind closed doors and you know I need to remember that when I talk about James sometimes and I don't know what he means by that that's an odd thing for him to say I'm like you see forgiving James like what's what's going on to see about the switch sides yeah and then

she's like well you were disrespectful I wouldn't disrespect you were and he's like yeah but like you were disrespectful because I was like we're a team we're there for each other it's like oh We're there for each other. It's like, oh! I gave it! Meanwhile, Ariana is expressing annoyance that the Tom's are not allowed to go see the restaurant. She's like, um, how are this Tom's supposed to listen and learn? I thought this was supposed to be all about listening and learning.

Like, how are they supposed to listen and learn if they can't be there? Which is basically Ariana's way of being like, um, can someone else get Tom out of the apartment? Like, he's like, around way too much. I'm having the higher-of-a babysitter because you won't let Tom in for the listen and learn day. Okay, please, please, he's been listening and learning too much for me. Can he like listen and learn with you? Please, so please. Yeah, because you know Tom's at home and the apartment just rearranging things for fun. Like, here's how I would do the restaurant. It would count right over here. It's like Tom, stop moving the fish tank.

Ha ha ha. Please stop doing like a fantasy restaurant. Ha ha ha. You know. So the big issue, one of the issues that's happening with this daily mail party is that James has been booked to be the DJ. And so they're like everyone's upset.

And Tom's basically reassuring Katie that like James will be out of the way of everyone. And he's like, listen, Baba, he's gonna be up in the booth. He's gonna be up in the booth. He's not gonna have a microphone. He can't even say pumped a date Yeah, you know, I think it's funny that Katie is gonna rage against this and her name is music kills Katie It's not funny like her name on Twitter is music kills Katie and it's like a battle with James I'm rooting for your name man

so Dana Dana Yikes So Dana, Dana Yikes. Dana, Stossi's mom Dana makes her appearance the episode. And here too for on the history of Interpromp Rules, Dana has been like not the most normal person but not like crazy. I've always thought she seemed like I'm just like a cool mom, you know, she's like oh she's one of those. But this is the episode where Dana revealed her full craziness and like Stasi started to make sense. Yes, it does all make sense, but it's like one of those things where it makes sense, but it doesn't make it okay.

You know what I mean? You're like, oh! Son of Sam's mom was an ice skater who machined gunned down rabbits. Okay, I guess, but like it's still mother-kay, son of Sam. So Dana is talking to Bo Bo and she's like, Bo, I just don't want you to leave Stasi. You're kind of like the best thing she's ever had. And I'm including myself in that. So like, my clock is clicking.

My clock is clicking and I need grandchildren. Rainbow, you do that. I can get grandchildren, give her just knock her up. You don't need to stay with her, just knock her up. Yeah, so that started kind of cute, right? And he's like, we're talking about baby's health, and she's like, um, mom. And she's like, yeah, but, Stasi, I'm just saying I don't want you to be yourself. I messed everything up, you know?

Okay, because I don't want him to go anywhere. He's the perfect man. And she's like, uh, mother. He's like, listen, he just, he just balances you out. I mean, because I mean, like, on a slune with Sassy, like you're down here and he's like, way up here, like, hashtag Kelly Benson on. Am I right, everyone? Am I right?

Like, Sassy, just imagine that you are like the dust on the construction site at TomTom. And then Bo is like a blimp in the sky that everyone looks at from the ground. And he's like, what a nice blimp. And the blimp looks down And he was like I want to be with that dustboard and you're like me so like all I'm saying is you're worthless and he's wonderful That's all but it was like a luxury hotel that everybody wants to stay in and have an enjoyable time

You're like a staff bathroom in a luxury hotel where only to pour people see it and it's covered in shit. Okay, saucy. Oh, I'm just saying it because I love you, honey. It's like, listen bitch, you better get the fuck out of here. You think you're gonna talk like that? Yeah, you are not allowed. That's not right. That is fun. She's a bitch. I want to kick her ass right out, okay? And then she goes, and then she goes goes she hasn't even frozen her eggs yet I think she's 30 you don't have to freeze your eggs yet yet she hasn't frozen her eggs yet

yeah this is Bravo she's actually you're like 55 okay yeah and then Stasi then then Dana is talking with Stasi and then Stasi says something about like in you know, this is what's good is that he's seen all sorts of all the sides of me or whatever and like, Bo has seen the ugliest side of me so far and she goes, are you sure? Stasi's like, who the fuck has a parent that talks like that? Like, that's terrible. And the freezing her eggs, like, if we're worried

about Stasi being too cold, do we really want to suggest adding frozen eggs into this? Okay, get some microwave eggs, okay? Get cold-fired eggs. Dana was like, I thought this whole ice party was to celebrate your eggs going on the ice. No. So, mother, this is why you're not allowed on amazing race family edition, okay? so you turn you turn so James is Having a lot ice vanilla latte did you get that on camera broth and Lala pulls up in a fucking rolls

You know what congratulations on fucking your way to a rented middle man It's so excessive and like obnoxious like oh Congratulations on fucking your way to a rented middle Man It's so excessive and like obnoxious like oh The range of overs in the shops. I take the rules Royce. Excuse you. I Can't so he's like well Lola So you unlocked me. I don't know where to start. I was like that's a start Yeah, you want to black me sounds like a start and opening. So Lala's like, okay James, look at me in the eyes, okay?

He's like, which one? Alright James, like when I was looking at the exit sign. You look like a potato face. So she's like, all right, crinkle cut. How does it suit you? She goes, let's put everything aside. And I just want you to tell me why you attack people and are so hurtful to people on such a hurtful level. I'm like, well, that's not really putting things aside, is it? Yeah, zing. Zing.

Yeah, yeah. I was put everything to the side that I did. Yeah, I was like, you did it. Let's not mention that Katie's called me a whore and I called her a fat lub. Let's just forget none of that ever happened, okay? Because I have a private jet now. So now then, this is why you can never be on James's side truly, because he's like, it's the alcohol all, listen.

I don't know how many of you have addiction issues or friends with addiction issues, but anybody knows it and I'm sorry if it sounds insensitive, but you'll hear any AA meeting ever and I've been to plenty. You're never gonna get fixed unless you say, I have a fucking problem and I'm an addict and that's it. Okay, so all those James crying and being like,

I'm not drinking for five minutes, it doesn't cut the cord. It doesn't mean I don't have compassion for it, but don't ever fall for it because you're only get hurt and get hurt. Right. And also when he says the reason why he says these things is because the alcohol, I mean, it's not. The alcohol may bring it out, but I think what Lala is actually trying to ask is what is this thing inside of you that comes out with the alcohol because it doesn't happen to everyone. So like, he has shit he has to deal with, obviously. Yeah, and with our last week she looks a lot like

Kristen but like you know beat up against a wall. Got this show is really doing mothers a favor, isn't it? Yeah, so James is you know so yeah and Lala is like listen I'm the same way as you are like when I get drunk I become an awful awful person but I'm like I'm too old to be like this, which makes me sad because that's my favorite kind of Lala. Yeah, and you're also not too old. You're like you've got like 10 years of youth. She's like 23. Yeah. So so James is like I'm supporting my mom. I'm helping my brothers to school and I'm a self-winship Lala. I don't know. He starts to cry. And I'm like, why am I getting sad right now? This is crazy. Why am I always like having so much compassion for James?

I should not be having compassion for James like he is he has objectively been terrible and yet I'm always like but I understand him I understand him well He goes through this thing where he's terrible, but then it's like okay now if he's a good little boy He gets to be with terrible friends again like it wouldn't yeah, so what if Lala's forgive you who cares She's a terrible fucking friend. She's betrayed you a million times. Yeah, so she's higher up in the hierarchy So yeah, and she's like well, I'm gonna support you skisky you and he's like cool You want to jump back into the jump back into the recording studio I've got a great new song or got a new song called future that I'm working on she's like a sec and it just goes to commercial

Good all right that I'm working on. She's like, oh, sec. And it just goes to commercial. Oh, good. All right. So now I'm in Burbank. I'm getting into an in Burbank. Yeah, it's like all the same shit that we've seen before. Like this has already been painful. Do we have to watch this again? Yeah, so next we get to go see mom night. Mom night.

Yeah. So Stasi's mom has not started in all-out war with Stasi out on camera, which is obviously what she's trying to do Yes, so she's telling Kristen as they walk in and you know within your side of Stasi She's like Kristen you are a hero to women everywhere. I hope my daughter grows up to be just like you you are You are the best I wish my daughter could be less of a lazy slide

and more like you, HF1, more like you. You are my idol. You are the strongest woman I know. I look up to you, okay? I mean, my daughter has a book deal. You have a t-shirt line that sold a few t-shirts, okay? I look up to you. I look up to you.

Oh, good. So, Stasi's starting to get annoyed. And, of course, Chris is laughing at you. So, like, oh, oh, Chris is like, she's someone likes me. Someone likes me. Seriously, seriously. Sorry. So, they, she's like, I was so so slabbed yesterday, like, with like trying not to electric you people with power outlets. I didn't even get to ask you what was the deal with Bo and you, Stasi's mom. And she's like, oh my god, I trapped him like a hamster in a habit trail. It's like, mom, what the f is a habit trail? You know, it's like a thing when you put crumbs out and then a pal can come and sings a lullaby

Every night I pray yes, Dossi I pray I mean when you have a burning bush what else are you gonna do? Talk to it So I say God please don't that Stossi's baggage go into the new relationship and ruin it. I'm like you are her baggage and you want her relationship and ruining it. Get out of here old lady baggage. I know and so Stasi is getting so annoyed. Old lady baggage. Stasi is getting so annoyed. She's like, Mom, I can't believe you're doing this in front of, I think that one's Kristen's mom and that one's Katie's mom Or maybe it's the other way around I can't tell them apart mom I'm then Kristen who's still watching friends gets a good friends quote

So Chris Stas is like I feel like you know listen to me mother. I'm getting annoyed and Katie's mom is like You'll understand when you become mothers. No. No, you won't okay? You want to understand some old hag coming in here and trying to ruin everything that you're trying to build right now Just so she can get some fucking airtime gaities mother It's because you would say that you fucking enabler and then Christians like and then Christians like Don't talk to her like you talked to us tossie and then Kristen tells us she's saying her mom is irrational Oh, duh, pot me to kettle you're a. I was like, okay Phoebe, you know,

enough with the friends quotes on this show. That's, you guys are sad at this point. Stop. Also, like if, like, it's not, like, when you say it's a pot calling a kettle black, like, it's like, it doesn't, it doesn't work as well when like, the mother is the one who weird,

like when the kettle weird the pot, you know, it's like, yeah, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like, that's the point, that's the point, that's why Stasi is like that, okay. So, so now, Deanna starts to cry. She starts to, she's like, and she's not giving her attention. Like, Stasi refuses to have a fight with her.

And so she already has mascara all over her face. She's not crying yet. So that shows you what kind of she's in. So Stasi's not giving her attention. So she's like, and runs off and pulls the stas. No, no, no, she doesn't just run off. She leans over to Stasi and she goes, don't be upset.

My ovaries are being observed by my body. I'm a metapos. Stasi's like, ew. Is that what that means? Is that what that means? I'm a menopause is. She's like, I guess it's over. I guess it's over.

I guess it's over. Nearby children. My womb is stopped yesterday. I'm going to, I'm just saying it right now. Listen, if my womb slows down below 50 miles per hour, we're all gonna die. Mom, I think you are not. This is not menopause. Listen, my womb can't handle the truth. That's a few things.

Man, mom. That was a few good worms. Stasi, someone abducted my womb and it's up to me as a romance novel to go down to Columbia and say, that's up to me as a romance novel to go down to Columbia and say that's romantic the stone So then she's like mother She's like stop it chick stop see you know, I don't cry It's like you cry all the fucking time. What are you talking about and Kristen's like stars? She's in a bishie place I count again. I'm over it. I'm like calm down over there.

Yeah, Chris is. Chris is like, she has been like pumped full of affirmations by Dana and now she is on a tear. She is like fully like, she looks like a needle during a like a seismic needle during an earthquake. Like, you know, it's like someone like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and think about us all being together. Errrr. Errrr. Errr. And Stasi is like, I'm just trying to feel my feelings and she goes, well, can you feel them later? She gets up and runs off.

I also want to say, somewhere in the middle of that fight, Kristen's proclaimed, no one fucking babies me, which I'm like, now that's a James May t-shirt, right there. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, if anybody was left in their crib too long It's you yeah, so Dana goes running off Crying so then of course Kristen's mom goes off to console her and Katie's mom just says they're like

And then finally Katie's mom decides to get up as like it is kind of shocking how these dynamics are Totally playing out with the older generations. Like it all makes sense. It's so funny. They're all exactly the same. And the mothers are like back, they're having the deewast Aussie. And then these girls are pretending that they're not taking it anymore. They're totally different, but they both got what they wanted. Chris and gets to like say something snotty where she doesn't get smacked in the face and she gets to feel better than somebody.

And then Katie gets to sit there and make this. We hear snide little oh it's also low so then Dana's like I just want her to hold me tell me she loves me I'm like that's your job you skank like me nicer like she has no you're not owed that from people you're not allowed to be a fucking monster and they'll be like they just don't love me enough there's a reason why okay take some stock of your own behavior young man or you are not allowed back at this table she goes but I love her I'm like okay this is like this this is so like beyond crazy and yet it totally makes sense. Everything makes sense now.

It's fucking infuriating, you know, and part of it is because I'm my mother as well. You know, all my good qualities and my bad qualities come from my mother. No sock. I've talked about it on this show. And it's frustrating as fuck because you can't even stop it when you see it. It's like, oh, man! And Stasi's like like I'm scared that one day that's gonna be me I'm like one day yeah you should rewind to season one. Yeah so it was really triggering as Billy Lee would say because Dana I have no feeling but hug for you okay get the fuck out of here. Stass Kristen and Katie you've proven what wonderful friends you are again. You're for both awful fucking friends Stas, he stopped yelling at people and Lala you don't win a prize for fucking the fattest richest person there, okay?

That's not a personality trait I think you brought that one to the table. I brought that one to the table. Yes. I brought that one I think you brought that one to the table. I brought that one to the table, yes, I brought that one. I don't think that was discussed in this episode, actually. But you're just like, in general, this is it. Yeah, because she was like, I got the balls. And it's like, oh, that's not winning. That's not a talent.

You know what I mean? I mean, I'm not saying it's not a skill. But it's not like a talent to brag about that. Get a job. All right, well. saying it's not a skill, but it's not like a talent to brag about that, you know, good a job. Well, it's got talent. All right. Well, that felt so good.

Thank you. I'm sorry for yelling. You seem lighter. Yeah. You went to rage grounds yourself. I just slammed Katie, Brittany, Kristen, Stasi, and Dana in a rage room while I'm feeling totally, totally better now. So thanks to everyone. Yeah. And Patrick sucks too sucks too. Patrick still sucks too. Fuck you Patrick.

Patrick's the worst out of all though. A late fuck you for Patrick. Late fuck you but never but never really too late honestly because it's always welcome. Yeah you can always just add a fuck you Patrick to make your day. Yeah it's never bad time to say fuck you Patrick. Okay, that brings us to the end of this. Go get your live show tickets. We're going to be in Texas and Dallas, Texas, February 8th to do a believe tech recap. So go get your tickets for that. The world's going to be in Phoenix, Irvine, Boston, DC, so many places. Whoa, Portland. Whoa, so go get your shit. We love you guys and we will talk to you next time. Bye everyone . Hey, prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music

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