Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Exorcisters Are Doin' It For Themselves!

Episode Date: April 16, 2019

Stassi finally realizes there's a demon possessing her on "Vanderpump Rules," and so someone named The Oracle, tries to purge it. Time will tell if it works (probably not). Also, briefcases full of cash and thoughts on empathy. CORNER! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin saying okay?

Kristi Wauherty-Dawherty! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists! Megan the Slayer Taylor, in a homer with Jeffrey Boomer! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird Ain't no thing like Allison King hot dang. It's Jessica dang. Sarah Greenwood she only uses her power for good

Hannah God, I love that banana anderson of a negila Weber Lisa Wallent Now that's what I call wallentainment the Bay Area Betches Betches and our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Lulu Simon. Sue. Sue Studio. How they grant? The grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey.

Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina Kuchikuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends Watch what crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends What happens?

What happens? I've been so much crap I've been so much crap Watch what crap ends What happens? What happens when there's so much that crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends What happens when there's so much that crap ends What happens when there's happens? What happens when this song happens?

What happens when this song happens? What happens when this song happens? What happens when this song happens? Hello and welcome to Watch or Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of The Real Housewives of Kitchen Island available on YouTube. A new episode just went up today, so go check that out.

It would mean a lot. And joining me is the wonderful and truly hilarious Ronnie Karam from Roseprix, Bachelor Rose Podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hi! Very exciting Tuesday you guys. Tuesdays are always when we have lots of fun things to discuss. Primarily that we have a new show that's going on sale today. Pre-sale today, we are going back to Nashville.

That's right. We are going to Nashville, Tennessee in September. We had a great time there last time. We were there for my birthday. My fourth birthday, remember that, Ronnie? Yeah, I'd be sure we're, that was a fun time. It was a wonderful time. I believe we sold that one out. So we probably, it might probably we'll sell it again. So make sure you get your tickets as soon as possible. There's going to be a Patreon pre sale going on from today until Thursday

and then at 3pm on Thursday, Eastern, tickets can go on sale to the public. So you can watch our crappens.com as we get all that information. And of course next month we're gonna be in Irvine to discuss the Southern Charm season premiere. So go get tickets to that if you're in Southern California. And then we got a ton of other places, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Baltimore, Pittsburgh.

I feel like there's another one I'm missing, but we are running low on some of those cities. So really if you're on the fence, go get them. And you know what else we're running low on? Good bye, Kyle. Merchandise. Yeah, it's the last week to get that. So go over to crappensamersho.com or just find the link on watch it crappens.com. You know how it goes know how guess yeah we do so with all that said let's talk some Vanderpug rules as it is our right on a Tuesday making miss making miss making money making miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss I love to show about waiters and waitresses that opens up with that sort of song yeah we're making bills cut to Katie delivering a drink

This opening of Anna-Promper Rules was kind of like my favorite part of the entire episode because it introduced to us a wonderful new facet of Sheena which is her Navigating the hallways of Sir Restaurant going thank you And then we hear her in the back going up corner. I have to do I just have to do that at Chely's and if you didn't you'd get right not yeah I've got I once almost got arrested by Chellies police because I didn't yell corner that's why I got fired from Applebee's I'm still known as the bad apple that's why someday I hope to work in a circular restaurant that way never have to yell corner, natural restaurant or circular, outside squirrels. Yeah, animals love circular restaurants and they love animals and eskimos, you know, circular

things. Look, Katie goes to check on Lisa Vanderpump's table. She's with Ken and Guillermo and Guillermo's dressed crazy. I don't know if he's starting a new rap career. He's starting a new gay rap career at the Grove. I don't know if he's starting a new rap career. He's like he's starting a new gay Rap career at the Grove. I'm not sure what he's doing over there. But Katie comes to check in and she's Can's like grab, get going And tell that crap not to district my wife from knock at spark out darling

And please hold that real but over there to stop going around the corner we get it. So Vander Prum's like, what is happening with GOOSE MYSKATES? Sick pull, I wanna do it more, but like, not every week. It's like hard. Yeah, it really gets in the way of my normal routine of sitting on the couch and folding towels. But you're going to do it at least twice a month. Oh, and you're my little Katie, but the 80 and she's like, um, no, here's the thing. I don't really see myself being a club promoter and she's like, darling, this was your idea.

Why would you do it? You came to us. We didn't come to you. She's like, um, because everyone was saying like James Kennedy is the only person that could make money at this restaurant. And so I wanted to prove that like, I could take like nine employees that have humongous Instagram following and compete with that one measly double person and kind of equal this money for one night. So yeah, Katie. God, you lazy ass. I know. Like it's such bullshit that you basically like, they, I'm just mad.

I can't, I can't even, I can't even start getting this mad this quickly in the recap. Okay. I just, you know, I got to do, you know, I got to do to myself. I have to turn the corner, corner, corner, corner, uh, so Vanderpromps, like, well, he did it every week, dude. Like he didn't just do it one time. And she's like, uh, King goes, and Tuesday, uh, he can't say, and Tuesday's never been the same since he left.

Come back in office, President Kennedy. We need you now more than ever. Cold time grassy no luck a spark out. So, Kane, the young drunk we're talking about right now, all right? And he did screw up. He did. Royly little idiot, but he was committed to sunt. Yeah. And Katie's like, um, tonight's Tuesday night and serves doing great without seeing you next Tuesday or girls night. I'm like, yeah, tonight's Tuesday night and serves doing great without seeing you next Tuesday or girls night I'm like, yeah, that's because people are showing up hoping to see you next Tuesday

Yeah She's like James was almost as committed to see you next Tuesday as you are committed to being a see you next Tuesday They're not equal Katie. They're not equal now Katie what's going on with your husband because Schwarze gave me a check that was kind of like a big rubber ball It bounced Get it Hey mustard forgotten that there was no money in that account and she's like well the North remembers now take these dishes

North remembers? Now take these dishes. North remembers. So basically, Katie is a lazy asshole. Shocker. Yeah. Shocker. And you're not going to be able to keep your enemy fired if you can't like follow up, Katie. Okay, if you're going to be an evil villain,

at least stick to your evil villain guns. Yeah, because at the end of the day, money is going to be the thing that matters the most, okay? Remember, don't you remember the opening credits music money moves so You gotta listen to Trixie when she sings at you, okay? Tom and Arianna's apartment Tom playing the dick flute. He's playing the dick flute and Charlotte their dog is just suffering through it Charlotte's like, please move into your new house so I could run in a lawn away from this awful

dick flute music please say I have my own room at the new house Please so if it's not wide enough James come up comes over to beatbox to the dick flute I'm like, you know, the show just needs to be canceled right now. This is that's enough So James comes in and Tom's like dude Have you seen my mechleton teeth check it. And he's like showing like a big shark tooth. And James goes, yeah, I've seen all of it. Yeah. And Santa Fall just looks like, oh.

Because he's going to Tom does that every time you come over. Well, I'll show you my Lego man. Whoa. Well, I'll show you my little Star Wars robot that meals your arm with your remote control. Bro. I guess. That was really looking forward to using that megalon tooth all day long.

I'm fine. So he's like, how was Mexican? And they're like, oh, it was terrible James. It was just the worst. And he's like, um, he goes, how fun could Mexico have been? I mean, you've got Katie and Tom. They probably fought the entire time. And then we cut to them fighting. Yeah.

Yeah. Because they're an old fat couple. Yeah. See, Katie, he doesn't just call you fat. He calls Tom fat too. He's present around a couple of dinners with horsey face, gristing or pass. I don't need it. And he's like, I don't need it. I don't need it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I don't want it at all. I before Lala's performance. Like, you've got to really put some pain killer on your ear drums for this one. They all need to show what fucking wasted for this one. Like, is there an aspirin factory? You can stop by on your way there. Yeah, Tom Sandivall is just trying to understand how Ariana and Kristen could ever be friends

when they've been mortal enemies for so long, you know? And, you know. Well, we all know why, you know why, right? Because Kristen's gonna start to, she's gonna pretend she's best friends with Ariana and she's gonna be like, you've never heard about Tom and start causing trouble. Don't ever count Kristen out.

Kristen lives for one thing and that is to ruin your fucking life, okay? Also, Kristen said hello to us on her Instagram live a few days ago and that was very exciting. Hey, Kukal! She's just, Kukal days ago. And that was very exciting. Hey, Kiko! She's just, Kiko! I love crap. It's Kiko! Kiko!

Kiko! Kiko! So, yeah, Kristen. No, her post-it. Kristen is getting prepared to ruin a new life. And I am here for it. Yes, no, I love when Kristen does that. So, Ariana, so she's talking about how she had a conversation with Lala in Mexico about like how she's been really acting up and how she has a fight or flight problem

And she's like, you know, and like James, it's like you do too. I mean, it's like kind of your thing not being able to control your emotions She's like, oh, but I haven't been instigating anything. Not anything at all. I just want to have a puppy party Paul. I haven't been doing for a long time, Ariana. I haven't been doing for a long time, Erie. I haven't been doing for a long time. I think it's good for her. I think he doesn't yell at somebody at one event and now he deserves a fucking gold medal, right? So Tom's like, yeah, but dude, like now you can't do Brent with Billy, because of what happened

with Lala last week and he's like, all right, I'm gonna leave this is bullshit. This is bullshit. I don't even take this book this. And like starts losing it again So it's like you've obviously learned nothing. Yeah, he goes this is the end of me boy And he like storms out and like okay, well, they didn't seem to take that well. I know another thing another thing This is bullshit. It's bullshit

So like it's not our fault. What did we do? She's like we're just trying to help you out dude? Ariana and James is like oh you're trying to help you out, dude. Ariana. And James is like, oh, you're trying to help. So I shouldn't cheat the messenger. Ehh! He's like, Tom, you told me to be bow, and I've been bowed. And he's like, dude, you're under a microscope. And like, my microscope says you have a bugger on your shirt.

Like literally, it's a microscope. Did you see it? You want to wear it? You want to put it on. I'm so close to me. So close. He's like, you know what? I know I'm not going to do, I'm not going to lay on my back and say sorry, like a frozen fucking dog. I'm like, where's a frozen dog have to do with any of this? What? What? I think that means you're. Yeah. I think that that means that

the dog sits too late. Okay. Which is actually a very good analogy. It's like on his back frozen. Yeah, I was just like, I'm just imagining some insight into his childhood, something that happened in like, foggy London town with like, the dog froze. We have to leave. Go to Los Angeles. Uh, so then this is, this is my problem. This is where my, my lingering problem with James is. And look, I get addiction, have a lot of it in my family,

have a lot of it in myself, and I get it. But one thing you learn with addiction is, you don't get to just blame everybody else and cry all the fucking time. And if you're still doing that, then you're not on the path to recovery and you're fucking lying about it, which is what James is doing,

because he starts crying and he's like, I'm only gonna do my best for so long. Oh, okay, so it's everyone else's fault next time that you go on a bender. You can just say you did it because everybody was mean to you. That's not what recovery is, sir. Okay, we're in harder.

You're obviously sailing. Yeah, and I wish you the best, but stop faking it. Because you're just wasting every once in a time and you're making yourself look worse and you're not helping the struggle of addiction with anybody. All right, that's right. It's right. So now speaking about the struggle of addiction with anybody. All right, that's right. That's right. So now speaking about the struggle, we go, we find Stasi at a photo shoot for her new book.

A struggle. And then we have to struggle through the scene. It's from my new book, Struggle My Girl. Damn it. Out. Struggle box. So yeah, she's like, I'm a pretty, pretty princess. So she's doing like the cover for her book, which is, um, next level basic.

So she's like, it's about embracing your basic bitch. And so Bowen Katie come over to support her for this and everything. And Stas is talking about what she's trying to do for the cover, her inspiration. She's like, I'm just trying to do like the most basic bitch things possible, like, drink from a latte or take selfies or just like Act in a certain sort of way basically. I'm just trying to be Shina Corner. Yeah, Shina's she's new but coming out corner. Yeah I like what you said. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. I mean like every every little, like you're really committing to the basic bits thing.

Yeah. Every girl who says I look like I feel like Carrie Bradshaw is like the most basic bitch I've ever seen. Okay. I think we need to update the sex of the city references. I mean, that shows 20 years old. Okay. I think we need to do like a new set of like archetypes. Yeah.

Let's update it to a new show. Divorce. Okay. It's like a natural move for this cast. Yeah. Let's update it to a new show, divorce. It's like a natural move for this cast. Yeah. So Bo and Katie have some time to talk. And Katie's like, how do you feel dating an author? Yeah.

And they basically talk about his, you know, Stasi's issues yelling at him and him crying. And Katie's like, I just feel like stossie has to stop sabotaging her love life and like, we have to do something drastic to save this because everyone loves bow. It's like, okay, my nice suggests a trail of Cheetos, Milky Way's, Jolly Ranchers and Baba Yaba. Chubby, Chubby Monkey or Baba, Baba, Baba, Baba.

I don't know. I'm sorry. There's Chunky Monkey and Chubby Hubby. No, Hubba. Just like all of it, all the ice cream. Yeah, just a chill of that to your bed. Just a Vermont, just get a Vermonstra and put it on her, on her, on her bed and just let her, with a spoon and just let her go to town. And here's my problem here. They keep calling her evil side to dark passenger, which comes from Dexter, it comes from the TV show Dexter,

which was a really good show until the later seasons. And I don't want the season of Dexter, Stasi. I want season one Dexter, okay? When he was still like chopping people up and having no fucking problem with it. I don't want the sensitive Dexter from later. He became like a woodchucker or whatever the fuck became of that. Okay. I want season-weddark passenger.

Okay. Yeah. There's only one. There's only one thing that needs to be exercised from Stasi. And it's not the demon. It's like whoever tried to make you nice. Like, yeah, we want you to just be evil and nasty and pit people against each other. That's what we've signed up for many years ago and let's all we we really want out of you. Yeah, you don't need an oracle to help take a witch out. You need an oracle to move some witches in.

Yeah, we did like some witch injections actually. I don't need you to get birth to a smoke monster. I need you to enhance the smoke monster. Yeah, yeah, I'm him pregnant by the smoke. Yeah, yeah, like let's like don't let that smoke monster leave you like keep it inside. Okay. And it's like let out little bits of it every now and then when necessary. But I do like her relationship with Bo even though it's weird. And I do want it to work out. But at the same time it gives me more Katie scenes. And when you're, I get worried

because when you're taking advice from Katie on a relationship, I know. A relationship is doomed. So watch out. I mean, Katie's basically Daria at this point. And so she shows up and like, I know we all love Daria, the cartoon, but Daria in real life is like not as fun. Really is Daria bitch in real life. It's Katie. So it's literally Katie. Yeah, it's like, I like to think of Katie as a really mean Kathy from the Kathy coffee. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. It's like taking all the joy of Kathy.

Oh, we got made Kathy happy. Katie just doesn't know. Oh, yeah, pretty much. So then the best song of the season comes on. Love is a monster. Love is a monster. Love is a monster. The ritual life. That's written in Jackson. At the Jackson Brittany therapy. So there's no never trusted therapists with the dirty air conditioner. There he said. So they're never trusted therapists with the journey air conditioner. They're so they're talking about the engagement party being around the corner. The corner.

I'm at work from Shana. So I'm just like in a full coke rage already because he knows he's going to be told what to do by this therapist. Like why are you so mad? Jesus. because he knows he's gonna be told what to do by this therapist. He's like, yeah. Yeah. Like, why are you so mad, Jesus? He's trying to act like he has been totally cool with the fact that Brittany has like filled the void that that just trust has caused with like busy errands over this party.

She's like, we see a flashback of her being like, okay, I've been by the fire people and we got four more coming in tomorrow. Okay, okay, okay You want a windows like me ma? Okay, you got you a me a windows. Okay, but picture frames out of the table Put your friends out of the table. Oh, you know what we need chairs, but some of them I want to have three legs some of my four legs Oh my god, did I remember the order sports? Oh No someone some my TV party thing just felt out because someone, no, the text message. Okay, it's fixed. Sorry about the cry for crying. Wow. Okay, so there are three. My mom and my mom are coming, but he's still in the lead to talk to my daddy

because he saw us five lot. But I want daddy to see how good he's doing now. Yeah, she goes and taxes like yeah Oh, sorry, she goes she goes my mom my me mom love him He can do no wrong and there as and they discuss the therapist and she's like Really really what? Jack's you're talking about your no jacks. Oh, okay, sure And Jack's like for the most part for the most part, for the most part, we're good. We're good. And she goes, yeah, it's, you know, it's the intentionality.

And then Brittney's just like, let's see, just looks at her like, ah, what was that? Intentionally, fully know what that word is. Anyway. So, yeah, so she's excited for Jack to talk to her dad. And Jack's like, but why don't talk to your dad? Like I'm the number one guy here, you know, so One thing is she's like, well, you know, Jack's like sometimes he can't find his case and he yells I mean, it's like he's stupid slut bitch. What did you do my case? It's like sort of funny and stuff, you know?

And he's like yeah, I just yell at her because I need to yell at somebody and she's in the way. So you know how it goes And the therapist goes, well, how do you think that is for her? And he goes, I don't know, I'm not her She's like see, you know with therapy. It's a good chance for you to learn to become more empathetic, you know and Jackson's like No, I just I just farted on your couch. That's what I'm most focused on. But I don't think he knows what empathy even is. He just hears the word path because he's like, but I am on the right path. And I'm not talking about, you know,

I'm not just talking about how much I've changed. I mean, you know, I'm not doing it for anybody else. I'm just doing it for myself. And Brittney's like, well, there's still part of me. Don't trust him. Like if he's an hour late, I'm like, oh my god. What not the year old is he fucking some other waitress in front of you know what I'm saying? He's like, I didn't even know that we saw this problem.

So I didn't even know, yeah, I didn't even know it's still going on, to be honest. He's just like seeds at her. Like he's like, yeah, I'm on the right path. I'm being a nicer, better person. You didn't tell me. You didn't tell me to felt this way. Yeah, he comes off as a really abusive better person. You didn't tell me. You didn't tell me to felt this way. Yeah. He comes off as a really abusive prick lately. I mean, he used to just be like a stupid oaf that would cheat on you, but he seems like scary of lifetime.

Yeah. He's been doing a really good job of being nice jacks, but we're, you know, every now and then we get to see some lifetime jacks. And therapists is like, it's so jacks, is it hard for you that, like, Britney is still working on her trust. And he's like, yeah, it's very stressful. I'm like, oh, so you're stressed that she hasn't regained trust in you after you slept with faith and frontman old lady while you were with Britain. So I say the glimpses of him slipping to his old behavior, like in a rep.

What I'm not, then, me shut up. You don't even know what you're talking about. Or just kind of not understanding what I'm trying to wear my up. You don't even know what you're talking about or just kind of not understanding what I'm trying Where my kids you fucking moron? So then he tries to make like a spin out of it He's like he's like you know what like but the good thing is that like Bernier is stronger than she ever has been after everything that happened And like now she doesn't take any shit and like I'm not just saying hey go cheat on on someone's That way it makes your girlfriend stronger. No, I'm just saying like she like she came out okay from it

You know I'm saying and bring you just like literally goes. I'm not saying because I'm not saying that she done your girlfriend to make her stronger, but she turned out good Yeah, she turned out good. So it's like, yeah, Brittany doesn't get pushed around and the Therapist there for like is that true she's like, yeah, that's true. Yeah, I was like you realized you just repeated what Jack's just said like you literally got pushed around Yeah, I'm not getting pushed around. I just invited everyone that Jack's wanted me to and I'm not speaking to all the people that he told me not to I'm about to Speaking to all the people that he told me not to. I love that. Uh... Jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai- or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of

Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how

much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So now over at Katie and Tom's apartment, Schwartz is on the phone with his banker trying to like arrange something that we will later find out is going to be like a suitcase full of cash because his check balance like a rubber boy. So he's like, yeah, yeah, I've always just want to be that man in the movies that has like a suitcase full of cash. You know what I'm saying? There's a terrible thing to aspire to be.

Those people always get killed. I'm like a gangster with a heart of gold. So then over at the polka room, Ariana and Kristen are on their date. And Kristen's like, I am courting you, my lady. And they talk about how this is like a date. And Kristen's like, it was really awkward when I can't pick you up because like Tom was like you weren't even there So like Tom was like showing me the new dish Cut and Tom's like well. You haven't been here in a long time. Look new dishwasher Did some backsplash here put some sweet paint on the walls and she's like There's a lot of money to spend on a place that isn't yours

Because I think we were all thinking that. You put a back splash in an apartment that you rent. Hey, I put a back splash in the apartment. I rent. I have rent control. I'm going to make this place last forever. If I have to redo the framing of this fucker, I'm going to redo it myself. Well, fine.

I'm going to West Hollywood rent, okay? Yeah. So yeah. Tom was showing Christian around. He's like, yeah, dude. And then this So then yeah, Tom was showing Kristen around. He's like, yeah, dude. And then this is that dick flu. It's really good. Have you seen my, see my shark tooth? Yeah, Tom. I saw it like five years ago. Oh, yes, it's on like the fifth shelf. And I found a way to trip over when I came in. Thanks a lot, Tom.

Mariposa. Mmm, so they're talking, uh, they're talking about how, uh, that, the night that Christian accused Ariana of cheating with Tom was the night that Ariana's dad died. And she's like, that night I was with Tom. And I was like, I know you're her friend, but you're like my boyfriend. And then like, he just left me to be by your side. Like, that's somewhere I wasn't thinking about Ariana's feelings or her dad passing away I was just like this bitch doll I love for me.

Kaka. Kaka. As you can such just remember being at pride with my tower bank six head. It's like battle line is you guys are so much better than we ever were. I mean, you pretend to enjoy the dick flu, like marriage. I couldn't ever do that seriously, seriously. So, so now we go to Lala and by the way,

someone messaged us on Instagram and said, our Lala and Rand still together because when I, apparently Rand was at Kachella and Lala's not a Coachella and they're not following each other on Instagram anymore. So the big question that no one cares about is La Land no longer La Land. Is La Land still known with La Land?

La Land? Is it long? Still not. I don't know, but I learned from our Facebook group that La La was seen at the Woodfire growl at the growth with Rand and his kids. And one kid was sitting on one side, and one kid was sitting on the other side, but by the end of the lunch, they were both sitting by La La and she was even cutting up their food for them and they were all laughing like a happy family. So I don't know guys. Sounds like. Sounds like LaRand is doing real well. Okay, let me settle that. So Lala's getting ready for her performance and Katie shows up and again in her like Daria jacket and Lala's like, yeah, she's you. So like, um, this can be performance and there's these cameras are set up for like record

labels so that way they can see and like, I'm trying to forget about that part and pretend it's for my homemade video. I'm like, Lala, you have cameras from Bravo here. It's nationally, this is gonna be nationally televised. It's not packeding like you're like record company sw wanted to. Yeah, stop acting like you're nervous. Both the Warner Brothers are behind one of those. Okay, so when in doubt, just make this symbol to the camera. There's a camera for me, a camera for M and a camera for I. So Jackson comes in and he's like, let's celebrate. I finally had a solid poop. Yeah, welcome. Welcome to the party, Jacks.

Yeah. So Jacks immediately goes up to Tom or the guys. And he's like, so anybody going to this puppy shower bullshit? I've told you all you're not going, right? And Tom's like, of course I'm going to go. And he's like, yeah, you're the only one. It's like, yeah, you made sure of that. Yeah.

Yeah, serious. But Jacks is winning. You know, I have to say, Jacks is totally winning in this fight against James. Oh, yeah, fully. He winning. You know, I have to say, Jackson's totally winning in this fight against James. Oh, yeah. He's gotten him totally kicked off the show pretty much at this point. Fully, but I think the producers are pretty aware

that the audience seems to be really on James's side and they don't ignore that shit. So I'm sure James will have a big comeback season next year. Yeah, well, hopefully because I miss my little chains. So then let's see, they talk about that for a little and then Lala is telling someone, um, girl, ran did this all for me. If it was up to my budget, I wouldn't be performing like here. Which you know, it's like, you know, give credit where credit is due, you know.

Yeah, exactly. Here which you know it's my you know give credit where credit is due you know yeah exactly so Adam is there to answer the guys are like questioning Adam and They're like wow Adam so you're like in the friend zone, but you still got to have sex with she not like That is amazing like well done. You did it. That's something you really accomplished something and you just see Adam and his face is like please help me I hate it. And then you just see Sheena, she, they cast a Sheena backstage giving fashion advice to Lala, because she has like put a blazer over her like bikini top. And she's like, um, it pulls it all together. You don't have to like button it in.

You know what I say? You're really trying to corner. I'm just asking. Hey, you're gonna need to open your blazer at some point to show you corners. If you need it, if you need any help for me, I'll be just around that corner. So Lala starts singing her song, which, you know, I don't want to be too mean because it's for her dead dad and that's really sad and stuff and it's nice

that she wrote a song. And she's even dressed like for Lala really really conservatively, she's wearing like a suit. Yeah. You know, like a kind of a mannished looking suit, but it's like cute. It's like a nice suit. And she's like, da da da da da.

And then takes off her blazer, such as being a bikini. I'm like, this is the weirdest fashion. That's a great tribute. That's a great tribute. That is the weirdest removal of a jacket to during a dead dad's hunger. You know what, whatever, whatever works. Whatever helps her. So then afterwards everyone's congratulating Lala.

Like it was so good, et cetera. And then Lala goes up to Stasi and they're talking and Lala's like, you are a beautiful human being. And anyone who says anything different, they don't know who you are. And Sasi goes, people are saying things differently. I was like, yes, demon. Come out, demon. Come, come, come.

By the way, I have to point out that performance was fucking terrible. She's singing to track, and she's still off key. Like, you can hear the key from your own voice coming out of the speakers. Yeah. So yeah, they start talking, she's like, where are you in Bobo? She starts asking Sasi they start to she's like, um, where are you in Bobo? She starts asking Stasi and Stasi's like, you know what? It's like so stupid because

it happened. All this shit happens when I'm drinking and here I am drinking again. And all is like, I got it. Being a woman is hard, man. But like, guess what? When you freak the fuck out, I got your back girl. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so then there's like talk and then Tom and Ariana are like rehashing everything was with Kristen and he, Tom is being really sweet, saying how like at that time, like, dude at that time, like I just wanted, she was like my friend and I just like had empathy for her and I just, I didn't know what it was, although didn't know what it was although now I know what it was She wanted to see my shark tooth so I

Need from that day on I'm gonna find that girl and I'm gonna build her a Lego castle with a shark shark tooth moat So they have like a nice little scene and crying hug and stuff. And then we go to Puppy party Don't be naughty at Pupy party This party looks awful. I mean, I was really rooting for this party. I think we all were rooting for this party I think we wanted like James to have like a real home run with this puppy party No, it looked awful. It looked like just like just the worst thing ever. So, oh god, and Rickkel's family, her mom, her slutty mom's there.

And she's like, yeah, you're hot. Yeah, I'm buttoning your shirt. James, I could call my mother. My mother, Rickkel's mother, she says what she wants. So we see a clip of her in the kitchen telling James. I'm buttoning your shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, she like goes up to Peter and she's just like she's like, oh, you're hot. You're really hot. Just touches just And then Raquel tells us having a puppy is like having a baby And then I just heard every mother across America punched the TV, you know? Yeah. That's so much time and you teach it to do everything. What's it? You know, this is good practice for babies

that James can have down the road. I'm sorry, I meant James and I could have down the road. Wait, I meant, James and I could have an hospital. Thanks. I also like that Laura went up to Adam because Adam got dragged there by Sheena and she's like, oh, just call me mom. You just know Adam's like, please,

I wanna leave this show. I'm scared, I don't want to see So Ariana's like Rick house is everybody we're gonna pay pins the town on the puppy Which is like pins the town on the donkey, but it's the puppy instead Thanks to the elaboration. Did you write out instructions for this? Cause we might need them. I know. I was like, is there an online tutorial for this?

Can I go on to YouTube and just make sure I'm like, like I'm current with all the rules. I just want to make sure I don't mess this one up. Oh, so then what? Let's see, Tom, oh, Tom goes up to James and he's like, you're okay, bro. Look, I'm so proud of you because like you're having a party. We're all here. You're girlfriend's like making a tossing a poop bag game. Like if there's every time to drink, it's like right now and you're not even drinking. Yeah, good for you, bro. James is like, yeah, thank you. You know, I mean, drinking is really help like that day that I was at Sir

I would have yelled at Loller if I was drunk. So look at me. Yeah, I'm a good boy. I'm a good boy now You know, I see myself with the future at the see see you next Tuesday He basically thinks that like I've been fired and I got brought back and I got fired I got brought back and I got fired again. I got brought back again. So I think I'll be coming back again Yeah, and I was trying to like give him the news lightly. He's like, so you see yourself back at Sir, he's like, you know, fired, we hired him to James is like, yes, it will happen again. And Tom's like, but what if it doesn't happen, bro? They give some of the tops, the top side, I

that's like saying what happens if LA runs out of ice cream. It's not going to happen. I know. I got every single ice cream parlour. It's how I say it, but. Because I'd have to start a whole new lot legit. So, Raquel is like, thank you so much for coming to the puppy shower. Grandma's so happy to have so many friends. And Ariana's like, sometimes when people talk about their dogs feelings, they're really talking about their feelings. Yeah, like sometimes more like all the time, all the time. And you know that Raquel has probably started an Instagram account for Graham.

That's pretty much guaranteed. I'm not even going to bother looking it up because I just know it to be true. Just kidding, I'm all awkward. I'm like, um, Bueller is waiting on verification. So I know. I would support Bueller. So um, I would support Bueller because Bueller, when this, when we're going along, Bueller just barks like, come on, wrap this up. I got to take a shit outside. He would never say take a shit.

He would say, I need to make a poo poo. I have to get a key. I'm raising a very, very classy dog there and how dare you. I'm sorry. So I love that the mother is making Peter drink out of this wine glass. It's as big as a head because she's trying to get laid that mother. Good for her. Let's go. Let's go check in.

It's a. Ariana's bartending and she's like, I hate bartending when I'm hungover. Also, I hate bartending. All right. Ugh. I hate bartending when I'm hungover. Also, I hate bartending. Oh no! Can I have your diet count? I'm speaking of like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm, I feel like I don't see anymore, right? It's because I live on the west side. Yes, bitch. What do you think we were saying?

This is the number one thing that people on the west side do, by the way. They move to the west side and then they're like, I never see you anymore. I'm like, yeah, because you know what? You move to a different country. That's why. But then they find new friends who are better than you anyway because they're happy and calm because they're the Bumblewicks. They're right. They're like everywhere in some driving and so they're like, fit and you're like, fuck the West Side be like, so Lala's like, um, she should, she has time to talk, she's like, ah! So Lala's like, um, besides the fact

that my balls are still not normal, okay, I have a real problem. Like my anxiety attack on that mouse in Mexico was 100% driven by alcohol. And I just can't mess with alcohol. And that needs to be a lifestyle. And she's like, yeah. It's like telling, she's telling a nightmare story

before bed. Nobody on Vanderpump rules wants to hear that, you know? Yeah, also, I mean, to be fair, having a conversation about this to Sheena is having a conversation with a pine cone. You're like, it's just you're not going to get a lot out of it. She just like jumps on Lala. Sorry.

A waiter just came by and he all caught her. Hmm. She's like, um, like, you know, after my dad's death, I was drinking every day and I take a break and I drink every day again, then I start breaking down again. And you know what? I realized this could be something I have an issue with, so I'm making the adult decision to never touch a drop of alcohol together my life.

It's like, oh, you know, this will sound good for you. A, yeah, also good luck. And I would never say that on national TV. I'm wondering what's going on that she feels the need to declare that on national TV. It's like saying I'm going on a diet on national TV. And then anytime you eat something, everyone's like, I said, you want to diet!

Like for the rest of your life, you know? I know. I was thinking about this. This sounds probably so terrible to say, but I hate when reality stars sober up. I just, it's like, I'm sorry. Like, like made me so sad when the man had to go to rehab. I was like, no.

Well, but see, it's turned out to make everything only better because it's made her like totally insane. True, but I like Drunk the WAN quite a bit. It's fine. Well, you know, you've got to take care of yourself. I know. You've got to take care of yourself first. I'm just saying selfishly as a viewer.

I hate the standard proper rules. It's like, don't, you're not supposed to take care of yourself from standard proper rules. Like that makes you automatically unqualified for this job. Yeah So now we cut to Tom and Katie they're driving around in the rain and Tom is like preparing to get his suitcase A little cash from the bank that is apparently like located next to the fresh corn grill and so a Katie is talking about how She's gonna visit the Oracle which is very matrix, very like 20th anniversary matrix. She's gonna visit the Oracle to help Stasi, et cetera.

So, Tom is like, but Tom is not even paying attention to that because he's really concerned about what happens, like what happens if I like get mugged, if I've got this suitcase, what if I get mugged? What if someone calls in and tries to jump me? I'm like, yeah, exactly. That's why you don't get a suitcase full of money when you don't need to This is your fault. I think I hope you get stuck is a bunch of phony baloney crap, and I don't care about it I was like, oh this is the scene in the show where I was like really? Why are they still shooting?

Yeah, stop if you have nothing stop give me my night back, you know also It's stupid and I'm sick of his cutie-bootsie act, you know The problem wasn't that you didn't have cash just that you didn't have any money and you're fucking you can't lose her Okay, just get a money order. Yeah, super annoying plus also it really bothered me that that like Katie was driving around and her Windows were fogging up and she was doing nothing to fix it. I mean her windows by the end of the scene You could not see out those windows and it drives me nuts when that happens and people don't try to fix it. I mean, her window's by the end of the scene, you could not see out those windows. And it drives me nuts when that happens and people don't try to fix it, because there's a very simple solution.

And no one seems to understand what it is. And it's right there in the car user manual. I know, because I looked it up when I was like in high school, because my windows kept fogging up. And I was like, I can't see. So how do I fix this? All you do is you turn on your air conditioner and open up your vents.

That's all you do. And it clears up all the fogging but people like don't do it I mean ever I'm in someone's car and I'm like hey um if you press the AC then it'll un-fog it like I don't know about the AC on I'm like well now you have foggy windows don't get mad at me I'm trying to try to help you wow I'm back it's when the lights went out. I'm telling you, it just bothers me because you know that Katie's one of those people that you try to tell her how to defy her windows and she won't she won't do it. Yeah, she used to bitch and then she gets you fired from your job for it. Yeah, and then she drives extra slow and then she blames you somehow for fogging up the windows. She'll be like, they never fog up if it's just like, if it's me, like they will always fog up.

They never fog up if it's just like if it's me like they will always fog up And she's also doing that thing where she is pretending to be a nice person So she's talking in baby voice, which I've fallen for that a few times Katie. I'm not falling for it anymore Okay, pull over stop shooting the scene sick of both of you. Okay, get fired fire tom a Katie Open your fucking vents and turn on the air conditioning. Yeah, open your vents so then and turn on the air conditioning. Yeah, open your vents. So then number two, they get to Tom Tom and Tom and Ariana arrive on their bike and their embassied car thing, which is hilarious. Gotta get one more use out of it before you return it.

So then he's still nervous about all that money and whatever and he goes to the bathroom and he can't pee because the case is handcuffed to his wrist. Yeah. So he goes to Ken and Lisa and she's like, how are you? Number two. And he's like, I've had a very stressful day. She's like, welcome to my word. Who has betrayed you today?

Yeah. So he puts the briefcase on the table in front of Ken and Lisa and he opens it up. At least I was like, oh, oh, I thought you were just going to show me some Patagonian toothbrush also known as Jalayan Seabass, but it's actually cash. He's like, what did you say to get this? And he's like, just my body 10,000 times. Which I think that's pretty cute. That's funny. He makes himself an affordable hooker. Yeah.

She's like, why is such small bills? It's a very visual impact, because otherwise it just be 15 bills. Yeah. So it was already pretty sad. It was already like in an iPad mini case. Yeah. So yeah, and you could tell this was like,

this was Ken and Lisa were not planning this because Ken took out his phone. I was taking a picture of it, which was like, that was not a rehearsed moment, you know? So then, so Lisa, like, oh, I think I'll take this and put it somewhere safe. I'm like, you you to stupidity it. So he like handcuffs it to hers, unlike that.

But of course, Tom doesn't close the briefcase properly, so she picks up the briefcase and all the money tumbles out. It's like, oh god, of course. And of course, it ends with the typical Vanderprung Fending. I can keep the handcuffs, right? Get it! It tends about to. Get it! Double!

Ehh... So now, Cadian St Stasi go and visit the Oracle Also known as Amanda Yates Garcia Well, I believe that this woman has some special witch powers because she can like time travel This is basically Rick L And like what 15 years 20 years. Oh, I was gonna say that she time traveled the other way She like brought the spirit of the Louis fair to Los Angeles in 2018. I was like this woman just saw Jewel do a set didn't she?

This is the basic episode the episode celebrating basic and they go to the most basic bitch oracle in LA, okay? She's got a black cat. I mean, there's no more basic bitch witch than that, okay? Yeah, she's like, she sort of looks like a Lannis, but a Lannis, if she were like a rowdy for the Indigo girls, you know. So she's basically like, so Katie and Sasi walk into her apartment and the Oracle goes, okay, we're going to do a quick cleaning ceremony before we start. So Katie, I'm going to have you wait outside for a second. Okay, she's outside. Great. We did it. We need to clean the room of bad energy. Have that one, leave.

Yeah. Can you just have Daria step outside? Thanks. So she's, by the way, she's wearing like a little Caesar's headband thing. I mean, this woman is so much. So she's saying she gets the sage. She gets the the way, she's wearing like a little Caesar's headband thing. I mean this woman is so much She's taking all the sides she gets the sage and she goes sage you are sage you are from the mountains She goes and it does this like sort of like she's underlates a little bit around saucy and then she walks up behind Stasi and does what I think probably many Americans want to do and just goes hey. I was like is she auditioning to be in the luminaires. Of course, saucy did not. She's not. She was like that scared me so much, but I know she was lying because she's been gotten used to years of she and going, corner,

Seize used to driving and Katie's car with foggy windows and just like running over people and crosswalks like shoes five. So she's like, I'm like usually really into like the supernatural and dabbling in that type of stuff, but it's usually more lighthearted. Like, I feel like I just walked into the Blair Witch house. It was very intense. Well, you did go to South LA. I was surprised that they didn't give shit to the lady for making them drive all the I feel like I just walked into the Blair witch house. This is very intense. Well, you did go to South LA.

I was surprised that they didn't give shit to the lady for making them drive all the way to South LA because I was no closer to the east side. Yeah, it said, Oracle's South Los Angeles. Oh shit. I thought they were in Silver Lake or Echo Park. Yeah, that is far. So Stasi tells the Oracle her issues and she's saying that she's like in a

good relationship, but she's worried that she's sabotaging it and stuff. And so the Oracle is like, well, the demonic spirit is coming to visit you. And it's possessing you. I'm like, you don't need an Oracle to tell us that. That's exactly. Stasi is literally trying to crawl through her spine. Katie found a well somewhere and is already climbing out of it. And Katie, I hate that Katie's like jumping in on Stasi's problem, because she's like, well, I have this problem where like I sabotage and Katie's like, yeah, like she gets mad and then suddenly everyone else is the bad guy. And I'm like, shut up, Katie.

Shut up, fuck you. Alicist is the bad guy and I'm like oh shut up Katie. Shut up fucking business. To have foggy bottom. So Stasi's like I brought like a totally rad picture of us for you to see and she's like I can see that there's love there and that's why you have to get that power under control because that demonic spirit will stop visiting you. And Stasi's like, I haven't been just mean. I've been demonic. She's like proud of herself.

She's like, and if she's not proud of herself, I don't need her on this show anymore. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she's like, yeah, this is the, this is the picture of us. It's a really rad picture. But as you can see, it's really scary. Oh, yeah, I'm getting terrible vibes from this thing. What is it? It's from Coachella. Ah! It's reflecting Katie back. It's held at a weird angle. Katie's reflection isn't it? So then we see this woman's altar and there's all sorts of things on it including like a dildo.

And I was like, now that is a funny call back to the dick flute. That there is some artistry on this show still. The first and last scene both have a dildo hanging around. Yeah. Um, yeah, it was like a dick candle or something. Yeah. And she's like, that's spirit that you called into protects you. You don't need it anymore. I'm like, she does for three months of filming a year, but what are you trying to do?

Ruined this show? Yeah. So, um, the Oracle has them sit in this like circle and they they're sitting there and the Oracle is just saying, you know, bullshit Oracle type of things and like, Stasi's eyes are closed and her hands are out and she's like, all right, say what it feels like. Stasi's like, um, it feels really hot and dark AF. Like, almost as if there were a heavy cloud. I, I'm in a surkitchen, aren't I? I'm in the surkitchen, right?

It's on fire again. It's like a dark heavy, depressing cloud. She's like, I asked you to sit down, friend of Stasi. Sit down. Katie stops mothering Stasi. She's trying to have a moment with the demons. And the psychics like, how the the spirit what you want from it and she's tend the psychic stands up and starts doing basic yoga poses Yeah, I don't know how these people are falling for this, but you better not just as she's like

We are No Yes oracles like tell the spirit what you want from it is not just like um I wanted to lead but first could it actually finish my book for me. Thanks So yeah, she rings about she's like the circle is cast It's like the circle is cast. Stas is like, that was one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life. And I dated Jack Taylor. And Stas is like admitting you have demons is just the first

part. I was like, oh, the first step towards the demise, stop it. I just stop his life. That's it. She's like, you know it's weird. I feel younger and lighter and like, I'm a cloud on the best day ever. Like a freaking Mario Bros. cloud. I'm writing a Mario Bros. cloud. Holy shit, I could throw spiky balls at people. This is amazing! And the psychic's like, that shows where the person you are and that will be $500 fees. I accept Venmo and subway punch cards.

Yeah. Wow. What an episode of Vanderpoop Drules. I know. Fun times, everybody. Fun times. Well, we want to thank everyone on TV Party and people who've been watching this on crap and demand for tuning in. We had a great time, be sure to get your pre-sale tickets to Nashville. Don't forget about the tickets, we just put on sale for

Baltimore and Cleveland. Pittsburgh is pretty low, Minneapolis is very, very low, and then of course we also have Milwaukee and Irvine, so everyone go to watchocrapants.com to get that stuff plus your goodbye Kyle Martin merchandise and we are we are gonna be back tomorrow To discuss the latest drama on the real housewives of Beverly Hills. We love you all We love you good bye. Bye. Good bye episode Hey prime members You can listen to watch our crap andens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

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