Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Fear and Bloating in Las Vegas

Episode Date: March 7, 2018

Vanderpump Rules goes to Vegas for the ultimate TomTom test. They fail, but in a really fun broken bird-y kinda way. Enjoy! This week's bonus a catch up of Married To Medicine! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to Chicago, San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins. On Instagram and Facebook, at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

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And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens Podcast. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yale Braves. I'm Ronnie Keram from Trash Talk TV

and the Rose Frrix Bachelor podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous, lovely, talented, tall, freshly hair-cutted friend Ben Mandelker of the Beside Blog and the Banscher Blender. Hello, Bean. Hi, Ronnie. How are you doing? Well, I'm saying things like hair-cutted. So that's what I'm at today. It's a lie. I'm not freshly hair-cut. I saw my barber Carmen last week. So I am now have a Well, it's well if you have a buzz cut You know, I'm now going on a week and I'm on a two-week cycle with the buzz cut

So I'm really at the midway point. So I'm really not fresh. I'm like middle-aged haircut as in like the hair is middle-aged Like it's a middle-age of hair style. Not that my hair looks middle age. I mean, it's just like the league something. Yeah. It is, it looks like Patricia Wedding. And it's sort of crying a little bit. Wow. So are you also basking in the glory of what is what has happened in the past 12 hours for our podcast. Yes. Thank you, Ariana. We love you. Ariana, when I watch what happens, and gave us a shout out, we were so excited. You know, I don't get very excited, everything. I don't get like,

manically depressed over things either. I'm at that, I think that age and my, my point in therapy where I'm just like me, like, whatever. Like every, if something happens, I'm like, that's great. And if something bad happens, I'm like, yeah. But I was excited. I was excited. I was jumping up and down. Yeah, I was in my kitchen cooking pasta, which I don't even do that often, because, you know, being a gay person in Los Angeles carbs are at the devil,

but, you know, last night, just, it felt like the right time, and so I was making Inaigartans weeknight bull and yeas, which I heard great, great things about. So I was cooking that, and all of a sudden, I started getting all these texts on my phone, and they were from you, and from Steven, from, from Summer House, and you guys, like, we're having a little group chat, and I was like, oh my god, I was like, what is happening? Why is this like, I was like, I'm trying to stir my pasta sauce. And I looked down and Stephen had was watching watch what happens on the East Coast. And he recorded it.

And it's Ariana literally saying, like, oh, you know what's so funny is that because she's almost she knows she's saying, Ariana says, it's so funny. She know because you sound exactly like that the impression that they do on watercraft and you know but Ben and Ronnie's the impression and I was like oh my God she not only mentioned the podcast it was our name she said our names on the show that took some balls girl it was I. I was so excited. I started. Oh, is that good?

And then she is like, ha my god, I think that's why she's like, that sounds like them because she really starts to sound like our impersonation when she gets super, super manic. Yeah, she gets. Or like our voices start to all converge. And it was great. And by the way, so a lot of Twitter people started to go to bat for us unnecessarily because Andy was like, oh, is it a good impersonation? And everyone was like, Andy's being shade. He's acting like he doesn't know you, whatever.

I don't think it was shade. I think it was a genuine question. To the point where Andy actually had to respond to some of the Twitter people and be like, I was just asking questions. Slow your roll. You know, he didn't see that. That's fun.

Yeah, he did. Obviously, because I'm seeing you again, still making my past and it's like, I see Andy Cohen replied. I was like, replied, I'm even tweet at him. What happened? And someone had tweeted at like us being like, like Andy, don't act like you don't know who they are. Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, something like that. And he's like, whoa, don't act like you don't know who they are, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, something like that.

And he's like, whoa, whoa, I just asked the question. And people are trying to find shade there. I don't think that there was shade. And if there was, it was like really hilarious, Mariah Carey type shade, which we can only applaud. So. Well, look, no one on this show is ever going to complain about somebody being shady to us.

I mean, for Christ's sake, it's not like we're like coming with fresh cookies to everybody. We're literally calling everyone dumb horrors every day of our lives. So when anybody is kind to us or you know doesn't use the delay to get it out of there, then I say you're a good person. Thank you very much. Yeah. But either way, it's super cool of Ariana to mention the podcast on a national platform. That's the first time I think our podcast has been mentioned on TV. And so if you are new to this show, welcome. Welcome. Follow me on.

Follow me on. We hope you stay a while. We do have a lot of really random jokes that we've built up over the years. So don't get too, if you start to feel like, what are these things that they're saying? Just go with it. let it wash over you like Like ocean spray, you know, wow, what an interesting life you lead I was thinking of the cranberry juice. Yeah, cuz you know I'm in the consumer culture Okay, I wasn't thinking about the actual ocean spray. I was like oh maybe you met the actual ocean

I meant a ocean spray the brand because the commercial is a wave. There's a little wave that comes in and the wave turns into the logo. I watched over it. Get watched over by cranberry. That is what we meant. Good. I'm glad we're on the same page. And also, if you are new to the podcast or even if you're not new, we have taken our show on the road. And we're going to a whole bunch of cities across the country between now and August. And all those cities are listed at www.WatroCrapins.com. The live shows happen great.

We have a lot of fun with them. It's great to meet other people who are just rabid fanatics about Bravo because don't get it twisted. We love our Bravo. We make all people crazy whores all the time, but we love our Bravo. We love these shows. It's great to meet like-minded people. We have so bravo. We make all people crazy horrors all the time, but we love our bravo. We love these shows. It's great to meet like-minded people. We have so much fun. Our next show is this Friday in Houston, Texas, and there are still tickets available. So go to watchocrapins.com to get those. And then our next shows after that are Detroit and Irvine, Irvine is in California, Orange County.

So definitely go get your tickets because we have a great time and we think you will too. Yeah, party. It takes a C. You see already. Now there's one more thing. One more piece of housekeeping I want to do before we launch into our recap of Vanderpump rules. We have like a random but super fun giveaway for the listeners. Many of you, I'm an avid board gamer. And so I'm excited about this. Renegade Games will be providing us a copy of Castella, it's a new board game that just came out, to give away to our listeners.

And so we've decided to build a little fun contest around it. It's going to be a Photoshop contest. Now, the way it's going to work is we want you guys to Photoshop images and put them on Instagram and here's how it's going to work. So Castell, Castell is actually, in Catalonia, Spain, you may have seen this from like road rules with amazing race.

There's a tradition of making human towers. And it's like a contest at these festivals, wherever I can build the highest human tower at wins or whatever. So if you want to win a copy of this game, then Photoshop a human tower of Bravo stars and put it on Instagram. And just make sure you add watch or crap ins and then hashtag WCrapins, hashtag crap ins game

and hashtag play renegade and I don't know let's give you let's give you let's do two weeks from now. So let's see today is the today's the sixth. So I guess on March 20th we'll choose a winner. It'll be fun and you'll get a copy of the board game. And if you want to hear those hashtags again or any that just go to Instagram we'll have a post with like the instructions and stuff. Yeah just a fun thing. So if you're looking for a board game if you're looking for a board game, if you're looking to get into board games or if you just want a good gift to someone who likes board

games, go do it. It'll be fun. And we're going to talk about the winners on the air. So that'll be a fun thing. Yeah, part a human tower. Woo! Every time you think of that, I think of something gross, you know, like human centipede or just just like gross things. So don't do that

No, I think about who would be out of the out of the disgusting serial killer gutter, okay people Yeah, think about who would be in your bravo human tower like who'd be on the bottom and who would be on the top, you know like The more you think about it the more bizarre and hilarious it actually becomes so I I feel like we're gonna see some really hilarious Photo shops out of it bravo's kind of like West Hollywood. It's just a bunch of bottoms the more bizarre and hilarious it actually becomes. So I feel like we're gonna see some really hilarious photos shops out of it. Bravo's kind of like West Hollywood. It's just a bunch of bottoms.

But still, you know, build something, build a tower. Okay, so... A tower of Ramones or something. Oh my God, all the different Ramones. All the different personalities of Ramona and a tower. You see how I'm already playing. Yeah, you're already playing the... You're very made of Ramona and Atari. You see how I'm already playing. Yeah, you're already playing the your party made a Ramona Castell. Okay, well, let's get to this Pumper rules episode because they all went to Las Vegas. Yeah, yeah, put a trust in Tom Tom.

Yes, you know, whenever the cast goes to Vegas, it always means all sorts of shenanigans or shenanigans as she knows new podcasts is known. I know how was she not even in Vegas when she has a podcast in Vegas and she's performing in that your girlfriend gives worse blow jobs than me or whatever that so is in Vegas. Yeah, straight gay guy gay man's guy just straight women or something like that whatever. Yeah So what the hell? Okay, so we open with Jackson Bray at sir and sir is reopened after the fire The chair lady the chair covered lady did a great job. Yeah, great great work. Yeah great work So Jackson Braytony show up and she's like he does look a lot more fresh And then Tom of course course, knew it all. Tom is after a while.

Come say, and he's like, well, the floor looks better, bro, but you know, it does have a little smell to it. Probably done this better myself. Dude, dude, and he's a shalacking. One thing I'm good at floor stains. Yeah. Um, Sheena is facing her own challenges in life, which is the new point of sales machine of P machine,

of POS, truly living up to that acronym in a different way, because there's apparently a new screen that does not, it's not Sheena nail friendly, and she's like, I can't make it work, like it doesn't touch my, I can't use it with my nails, I have to actually like touch it. Yeah, she's like, I'm not. It's a way of touch screen usually works.

Yeah, they have to like feel human contact, you know. It's like to block all the sex spots from taking our jobs, you know. Yeah, I can't feel like talons of a velociraptor are like scampering across its surface. And it can't be the first time either that she has like come across something she can't do with those nails. You know, those nails are an art

and we see them a lot in LA, especially in places like, you know, the DMV or whatever. Yeah, it's like how are you doing this? But they still have, especially in places like, you know, the DMV or whatever. It's like, how are you doing this? But they still have those clacky keyboards, you know, that are like clack, clack, clack, clack. The clack, like, see now. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack,

clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack How do you wipe? You know? Yeah. How do you wipe? I don't know. There's like so many things. How do you make yourself throw up?

Like do you have to use another like stick? Like a popsicle stick? Like how do you do it? The good news is there are a lot of things you can do, which is like, for instance, you can play Highlight without using a special stick. You can just whip your arm around, you know? We'll see that. Tell us that some. What's our needed was a little bottle talks here and there,

a little fella just like everyone else in West Hollywood. Did you imagine they just sell it? They just sell Botox on their menu. They're like, it's a chicken enchilato with a side of Botox. Get some rakey, some Botox and vaginal rejuvenation hosted by Billy Lee. We then see Lisa's new chandeliers and she's so proud of them. She's showing them off to Jackson. I'm saying, do you like it?

Do you like the chandelier? Look at it. It's a sexy and ex-chandelier. Suck. Yeah, it's like a plastic chandelier in like a metal with a metal top. I don't know. It's very... I think it was there before.

Well, don't need to say that. They're from Niela Lane! Niela Lane, he's a genius! Niela Lane. Strich. Rob Wester and a... Centrelier Maker, not just a maker in artisan craftsmanship. He's a chandelier basher.

It's like a habitation but with chandeliers. I just made that up aren't I witty. Do you like the chandelier they were in friends? Jacks I would like a glass of carousine, please. It's for the chandelier. Get it? Like it has candles in there No, I will not tell you the end of this check because we are not in that place yet, Jacks So Lisa is carrying over her real housewives of Beverly Hills for forgiveness issues to this show on Beverly Hills

She won't forgive somebody for saying something she doesn't really understand at a party she was not. And now she won't forgive Jacks for, you know, being Jacks. Yeah. I think I'm going to bring you to Vegas because you need to shadow me. And then what it's like to be in the Vandipum regime. So here's one of our soldiers now. What say you soldier? What does a band-a-pump shadow look like? I feel like there are a lot of curvy lines, a lot of roughly patterns and feathers. It looks like a lady bird shadow with a traffic cone on its head because she wears that like triangular traffic cone bump it on top of her head. I feel like it looks like a doctor sees tree like the shadow of a dot you know like you like in the lore acts.

I feel like it's a lore act's trees that's what the shadow looks like. Hey Joe chef Joe. I would like to have eggs and green ham totally original The Tom Tassou's van to pop rusein gene routine gene Lala Tom Tom Tom Tom Lala Gigi Lala Lala Billy Lala Billy Lala We have a new special it's green eggs and great green eggs and green eggs. And ham as well as cabbage soup. It's a Jojo specialty. And Juno Tata. Juno Tata.

Lala Tata. Lala Tata. Okay. So yeah, Lisa goes, Solisa talking about Jacks. And you know, I was like, why is Lisa being cool Jacks? I thought she was really mad at Jacks.

And she goes, after the way he acted at the Beverly Hills lifestyle party, In apology was in order. Get it? It's a restaurant pun. Order up. Unfortunately, Shina couldn't enter it because of her nails. We had to rely on the Moscow tapping of long plastic nails. We had to order Shina a special warm pencil. So that way she could touch the screen and I would feel like an actual human finger. A warm pencil.

Shina wants a pencil. We have chef Joe one of the pencils in the pizza oven. So Jackson's like party. Oh yeah, they showed the apology where Jackson's like, Lisa, I'm really so sorry. He's like sweating all over her. You know, typical Jackson. He's like sweating like a... I don't know. I was gonna say something to grow. So I'm just gonna get back and just leave it like a sweating thing. Yeah. And the thing is, his apology is so beyond the road. He's like, I apologize. I know it's a big day for you I hope you can forgive me. I'm like

It's at this point. It's just it's barely a step above a hallmark card and Lisa Paul's fridge Like that's all I wanted to hear Yes, he's watched a house wise. He knows how to apologize to Lisa at this point You say I'm sorry you were right. I was wrong. I never meant to do that because it's all about you and she goes oh All right now it's begun The days until I forgive you have started counting down mr. Jackson Jason couchie. Taylor. I know you So she's like okay now that I've got my apology and my shuntily is Let's go surf!

And Jackson's like, well I think James is still in love with God, Lala You know, he didn't tell her about the near death experience which you know, she loves somebody almost dying and then needing her to come back You know, I just saw I just saw sir at the end of the tunnel and I came back I just as expect that was cut out, you know in in when we saw Jackson's apology, it was one of those last week and everything is, you know, in blue and white, except for one pop of cult. There's like a pineapple in the background. That's like a fluorescent yellow, you know? So I feel like what we didn't see was him saying, Lisa, I almost died. I almost drowned in Big Bear when I tried to swim to a buoy. And she probably was like, bro, can bird fish. And then he was like, now I've

got her. Oh, by the way, I'm also really sorry sorry can you forgive me? She's like of course I can you almost drown my little animal I think it probably went like he said I almost drowned and she said well You will next time you west with me and they're like okay, Lisa. You can't like openly threaten to kill people on TV Yeah, we're gonna cut that but we will keep the pop of color pineapple in the background She's like that's all I needed I just need the pop of color pineapple in the background. She's like, that's all I needed to edit holes. I just need the pop of color pineapple. By the way, I think that would be a really good time to mention.

Christina Haberkern, Haberkern, she made this wonderful mock up movie poster of open water featuring Jack. We put it on our Instagram and several other people did too. It really like took off. It is hilarious Go check out our Instagram which is at watchful crappins. It is so good Christina you killed it killing the game Christina With your Jacks boasters. Yeah, that shit was hilarious Yeah, so they give her the gossip and Tom's like yeah, it was awkward bro. My line James. I fell into a crevice She's like, we're not talking to you, Tom.

But Jack's telling me more. And he's like, all right, let's have a high five. And she's like, we're not in the place yet. Of a high five or not in a high five, please. Not in front of the chandeliers. The only thing that's going up high are the chandeliers. Get it. Now, don't make me hang you like one of those chandelier Lisa. We're gonna have to cut that

All right Where's my pineapple So see them all are it's place it under the chandelier for optimal lighting Salah Salah Salah That's like the best that's like the most I've ever sung. Shala. Shala means she only loves once.

Shala. Salah. She gets everyone's like waving to her like, like a down fair facts avenue. She's like, why is it? Why don't all the Jewish people keep waving at me when I say, Shala. So they're going, you know, they're eye-keying it, which means going to Burbank because they're going to be

recording in their studio today or the studio because Lala has come up with some art of her own. She doesn't need it, James Kennedy. Yeah. And by the way, it should be mentioned that when we transitioned over to this Burbank scene, there was a shot in Santa Monica Boulevard that suddenly twirled upside down in a circle. As if to say, the world is turning upside down. And everything that we once knew is not what we knew at all.

Because here we are in Burbank, California. Which is upside down, you know, for those of you who haven't been here. So it's like, so far about a hell of a hell of a lot. It just turns upside down, yeah. Burbank is like the upside down, except the sunnier version of it. Like, there are, there are some monsters. There's like a weird, like, you know, like Hollywood has the Oscars and Burbank has the Burbank Film Festival featuring

Eileen. But that said, they also have central air and really nice park turn signals and turn signals. Again, everything that's not on Hollywood is in Burbank and vice versa. It's the absolute. It's with children. It's crazy. The Olive Garden. Yes.

Outback. Yeah, totally different. Great airport. Yeah. La La, occasion. La La, China. Yeah. So she likes Burbank.

She likes getting, and she likes the Bob. She likes the feeling. She likes getting into Burbank. Yeah, I think this was like the cheapest studio that they have in Burbank because they just keep coming back here. So if anybody needs a studio for like $5 found it. So she was like,

Oh, MJ, major studio flashbacks. I don't realize this was the studio you're recording at. Yeah, Mala's like, oh my God, because you're, oh no, so she does that later. So first they walk in and Mala's hired all these people. It's like 10 people I guess, right? Yeah, and it's like too big black eye sitting at the, the stu- you know, the producers or whatever,

sitting at the, what am I trying to say? The faders, whatever. Mixing board. She comes in and she's like, what's up, my brother? And they just look at her like, oh Jesus. They like just make that check, make that check, just like smile and leave deposit the check. Yeah.

And we'll talk to you about her after. I mean, it started with a major groan and they didn't even hide it, which I loved. And she said, this is my support system. Um, her boyfriend recorded here and she was like, nah, I didn't. I'm not town here and then we have this like great flashback to a moment that I have forgotten about Where she is in the recording booth sort of doing a sing-rappy thing where she's like step in the club little black dress on Work it out with a girl's no stress on check out this boy. He's got what I like gonna bring him home tonight

I'm giving you green eggs and ham. It will be the most... Alright. Green eggs and ham, I am Sam House of Gal again. It's a hit. Finally, see you've done it. The video is just seen as staring at green eggs and ham with really long nails. And there's like these awkward satellites over here. No, it's probably just like the opening credits of pub. She just like walks into the video

with green eggs in ham on a platter and slowly tossing it. We're just seeing screen scrambled eggs slowly flying across the screen. Oh, what's up? Just raise your eggs up high. They would. The cast would just be spilling eggs all over the opening. OK, so she's like, um, I have been singing my entire life. I was in a plethora of musicals. It's like really, Lava, a plethora.

I love that phrasing. What musicals do we think that she was in? Let's be honest. Well, I'm sweet charity. I'm trying to think of all the musicals with those. I don't know. I'm just like I just have a hard time imagining her being in something like Bye Bye birdie, you know, Bye Bye birdie bitch. Well. Bye Bye Birdie, bitch. Well, where does she grow up in Utah, right? She probably wasn't by by birdie and played the Hispanic lady, fucking Utah.

She was in a raisin in the sun. Okay, guys, don't get me into Bye Bye Birdie. Okay, because it's amazing and we'll be here all day. I was the mayor. I was the mayor I was the mayor of my ninth grade production of it. So you don't have to tell me I had a Quite the turn when I solowed on the song kids What's the matter with kids these days? Kids

We were perfect What's the matter with kids today? And I was feeling the same thing when she's like, hello my brother. So she's like, yeah, I've been singing my entire life. So I heard a team of people that are like really creating my vision. And then we see black Elvis, but he's not black Elvis.

He's Bulk Elvis, which is also how you spell Bulk water from real housewives in New Jersey. So I'm not sure if he's affiliated or not really. Or it's sort of, it could have just meant just like bulk like he's, he's Elvis in bulk right now. Yeah. He's filled with a bunch of tiny little Elvis's. Yeah. Um, he looked embarrassed to be there as well, but he was, you know, he was, you know, he was, he's like,

I'm just going to, I just want to be on TV right now and click my paycheck. I'm going to wear something crazy because I'm on TV and I'm just going to pretend like I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just gonna, I just want to be on TV right now and click my paycheck. I'm gonna wear something crazy because I'm on TV and I'm just gonna pretend like, I'm right songs. Yeah, I got a thousand dollars from this check. Yeah, exactly. So, she's like, I wrote this song. I wrote from my just gonna say right now. I'm getting a little sick of my man my man Okay, we all know what his real name is Randall I meant okay, can we just call him Randall? I mean I just Know because my name is Randall and I don't like that we're you know separated by one vowel change Okay, fine fine. Lala. OK, fine. Fine. Well, we'll just keep it as my man.

You can call him. Ever. Ever? No. I don't know. I was just happy to see to file it. Any time we get to flashback to Shina's singing is something that I'm always going to be happy with.

Because I feel like that is an aspect of the show that sometimes gets forgotten that Shina wanted to be some with it because I feel like that is an aspect of the show that sometimes gets forgotten that Sheena wanted to be some sort of performer at one point. Yes, and we'll play some good as golden our live shows and people party down That's a good song. Yeah, that's a good song. That's a good song And I think it's I think it's a little bit better than the one that she was you know Then the step-in like lob a little bark dress on walk it out with the girls Not sure. I mean when she was doing that she sounded like she was being sworn into court, you know? Yeah.

Like, I've had that much enthusiasm behind it. I've got my hand on a vogue. So, Lala is like, most people think my matches go like this to me. Make up rain. Make up rain. Make up rain. But I put my own money into this.

I'm like, yeah, because it's been raining on your god damn head head so much you don't have to pay rent or a car payment or anything else. But that said, I'm not here to host shame, Lala. I'm here to lift a little bit of the ho because you know I'm going to be buying that album and I'm behind this. Yeah, I actually think she can sing. And more importantly, as a little aside, did you see that Lala and J Law are now in a little bit of a beef? Yeah, because J-Law called her a seaword on Watch What Happens. Yeah, and by the way, also secretly, is it bad that like when Ariana said our podcast name on Watch What Happens last night, is it bad that I secretly thought, I wonder if J-Law's all that?

I wonder J-Law's now curious and wants to listen. Well, I like that Lala is now curious and wants to listen. I like that Law Law is tech tweeting her like, oh, you bitch, you better hope. I don't see you in the streets. I'm like, you won't. Yeah, you won't. Why would you think that you would be in the same streets? You can watch them all block from each other and not be in the same streets. Trust. Last time I checked J. Law was not lurking around Burbank.

You get into the vibe. Walking on the black, the blue bath mat outside for the Burbank festival. She's like, yeah, my alien movies here, do you want to buy it? Thanks for seeing these streets next, my single victory boulevard, you know, so basically she's, she says she doesn't want to take his money because when she becomes the next beyond say she doesn't want him thinking that he's, you know, I don't want my man to collect more than what I already provide him, which is, as he gives the BSA motion, which is hilarious

because, you know, I like when I don't even have to add anything. Yeah. No, she does, she does the joke for us. Yeah, it was like a turnkey, Lala, Diary Room session, basically. Turnkey. Turnkey. Turnkey. It's like ready to move in joke, you know, like the owners left the furniture there, just

sign the dotted line, pay the cash and the joke. Confirmation on the front door. That's all it is. It's like, this joke is under new management. We just, you know, the owners were just looking to open up a new joke and this joke was available and Lola just came in and just, you know, for us. Yeah. So Lola and she now have some private time and she's like, you okay, sister, bats, whatever. And she was like, no, I'm not okay, Jackson's fucking with me.

And then he said all this stuff about me. I'm like, I'm not gonna run a kiss on you. I'm not gonna let me in. I'm not gonna let you have to take him under greatest arm. I mean, like, he said, like, Jackson saying that Rob is in love with me. A bit like, I mean, he's like, I am like, as if, fair. Like, maybe you can say that, like, am I more in love with Rob? And he's in love with me. Maybe like I mean he's a guy and like as a fair like maybe you can say that like am I more in love with Rob And he's in love with me maybe yes, I mean, but maybe not I don't know, but like is it like it's it's a true to say that we're not in love

I mean just because I'm just occasionally rob will say listen You're just basically a LinkedIn connection to me, but like you know, but I think that's his way of saying he loves me So I don't get what you're actually saying like he didn't love me Would he leave me a trap or keep her of instructions on how to clean his family's house. Now, so you know, like put that in your bag and like suck on it. So if he didn't love me, would he get the TV mounted in less than seven minutes? I don't think so. What are taking a 15 hour life?

So Lala's like, who cares? He's a man. And if he did say that he doesn't, he's not like, I know he didn't. But yeah, but like what I'm saying is like. I'm pretty sure he loves me because like we're talking about getting married and we're like get houses and we already named our first daughter the other day. Yeah, her name is like Madison Marie Parks, Florida. Then we have our second daughter.

Her name is Gina Marie calendars and our third daughter. Her name is Joanne Gurley. I don't know who that is, but. You were like, hey, something really love Dar. Wait a minute. Yeah. So Lala's like calm down. It's dating.

Okay. You never discussed babies or marriage with the man until he comes to you. Slow your roll. Okay. I love I love Lala's like rules on engagement. Yeah, also Lala when Lala was like listen, it's called dating you're getting to know each other. I'm like Lala, perhaps you forgot that they've been dating for 25 years minus the six that that they were married, she was married minus another four. When they were way at college, minus another three, because

there was that incident on the ski slope, minus another five, when they didn't actually know each other yet, minus another three, because one of them wasn't born yet. That's a lot of algebra, which makes everybody uncomfortable. So let's listen to you. While I sing, she's like to you, Lala Singh. She's like, oh, yeah. And there's black Elvis is a bulk Elvis.

Sorry, bulk Elvis is outside like, yeah. Like dancing really hard in the studio. I have to say, seeing all the various people in that studio, I was so happy that Smellovision has not been created for TV. I just, it's like, I'm just imagining what that studio smelled like and it probably was a little bit too intense for me. What do you mean, just, he probably smells like Petuli. You know, he smells like Petuli. Yeah, exactly. Just like nothing but very intense Petuli, which is more than I can deal with.

And then like a, a Pine Cone, pine-solve freshener things like that shaped like a Christmas tree, it's behind the couch, something for which to stay with. And maybe some like fruity incense, you know, and then just general sheeness smell, which is actually probably nice. It's probably like nice, she's probably nice, but it's like it mixes with patchy and makes something weird. You know, like the way like, yeah, you might really enjoy, like you get shrimp scampi is like it derives at delicious

mother garlic, but then on the context of an airplane, it's like, oh, no, not shrimp scampi. It's basically like a red lobster in a garb, I mean, a in a gas station gone. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you'd like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. It's like nothing's going well in here. So let's go over to Tom and Katie. Everybody's packing to go to Vegas and Katie is making me sat or in sat or every episode.

But I will say that she's very good advertising for ranch because last week when they went to El Coyote, I'd love that place. Well, I don't love it, but I go there a lot. I like the inside of it, not necessarily the food, but I go there a lot. I like the inside of it, not necessarily the food, but I go there a lot. I like the margaritas. I like the margaritas. And of course, we had to order the jalapeno poppers which come with a little bowl of ranch.

And I was looking around and I would say like six out of 10 tables had those jalapeno poppers. And I was like, Katie, you did this. You're the one who should be doing business stuff, okay? She's an influencer, you know? jalapeno popper influencer. You've made it. So she's like, are you bringing business to staff Tom? And he's like, um, I was thinking of bringing shoes. She's like, yeah, shoes you need those. Like you guys are doing great.

Yeah, also L.O.L. that he has businessy stuff. What qualifies as businessy stuff for Tom? Poor Katie. Poor Katie. Like, I don't really expect much from Tom, but Katie, uh, I just, I would say run, but don't run necessarily just maybe lower your stand. Well, maybe her standards aren't that

high. I mean, she married Tom and she's saying things like business you stuff, which could really mean a paperweight. Like, I don't know. You see a brain like a goldfish and like a ziploc bag. I don't know. I thought like it'd be cool to and like a ziploc bag. I don't know. I thought like it'd be cool to have in a meeting.

You know, put in a bowl, be like official, you know, businessy stuff. You want to go fishing, babe, get it? Papa. So she's, they're worried that Jackson's gonna, they're doing this intercutting thing where she's like, I hope that Jackson doesn't mess up our trip. And he knows that it's a business e-trip and not a jack c-trip

He doesn't know a cook dealer there anymore, right? Didn't she wait when she got pregnant by him? I have no idea, but All I know is that they're basically Kadeon Tom are like this is absolutely there'll be no benders. It's a business trip The no one's we're not gonna be staying up all night long drinking and then it cuts to jacks with Brittany. And he's like, we're gonna, we're gonna gamble.

We're gonna go to the strip club, we're gonna do some crack. We're gonna shoot up a store. Like we're gonna jump off of like, we're gonna like swim in the Bologna of Fountains. We're gonna go for a couple of those 80 year old Caesar's Palace waitresses. Yeah, we're doing it.

Brittany's like, I get a sa, I'm gonna be see, business. You better behave. Okay, Jay, yes. Oh my god. I'm gonna be there feeding every baby in town. Are you bringing any clothes? Are you just gonna bring some kind of robe that you tie in the center? I feel like it's basically like a really old man. You guys are really becoming that old man where I'm just like, if I was you're wearing to a casino,

oh God, you remember back when the casinos were classy places. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, would hang out in here with Dean Martin and Sammy Davis. God bless his

said he's done. I feel like poor Brittany. She's just going to go to Caesar's palace and go into like the forum shops and then she's going to wind up at that like Neptune show that they have at the end of the hallway Where a bunch of like animatronic robots come out and then spew water and it's like the story of Neptune and whatever and she's gonna

Stay at the stare at that transphix and watch it over and over and over again She'll be like all right JX. Let's go on do something else. And it's like three days have passed. J. Yeah. Poor Brittany. She's being like programmed. She doesn't even know what's happening. I remember when I was a little girl and went to dream of Neptune's. It's like, uh, that was today. She's going to talk about Neptune the whole way back. And then the next thing that Neptune did is that he went and he was like, no, don't do that Zeus. And he was like, no, and it was like a thunderbolt. It was real good, Jacks. Jacks is like, did you fucking anybody there? And I fucking anybody there? Did they have cook? So we get to Las Vegas bus. Let's do shots in the bus. And John, the VIP is like,

hello, dirty people. At least a van the pump has taken care of your sweets Welcome to planet hollywood The only thing more depressing about being at something involved a planet hollywood is welcoming van the pump rules people to plan out a hollywood So they get to get the tauntons get to go up to their fabulous van the pump sweet and just semi close to So and pump but also its own industrial sweet. And by the way, Tom Tandeval's like, dude, I feel like we're walking to our future right now. We just can't fuck it up. I'm like, those are words that are often not spoken in a

positive sense in Vegas. Yeah, you just like you're walking to your future of gambling debt and possibly a chick on the side who's gone pregnant. Jack's yeah, Jack's is very like leaving Las Vegas, but not within that sense to want to kill himself. I mean, at least Nicholas Cage was going somewhere, you know what I mean, even if it was to the graph, but Jack's just like, no, he's like doing everything that Nicholas Cage did, but, you know, playing back. We're getting it back. Yeah.

He's like, made it like an anthology, sir. No, he's, it's like, we're on the ninth leaving loss, installment of leaving Las Vegas at this point, like, my biggest is just like, can we end this now? I think that's the director of all. I remember correctly from 1926. I think we all wonder the same thing when we saw leaving Las Vegas. Like, how is Nicholas Cage not dead? You know, it was like the best part of that movie.

Okay, so Jackson's like, wait, why do we gotta sit in the line? And Britt, Britt, he's like, Well, if you hadn't pissed off Lisa's. It's like shut up. And he tells us, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not jealous of Tom, Tom. These are like totally, they deserve this.

He's like wiping this dried up spit off the corners of his mouth just looking down. He's still, he's still spiraling about being a bartender for the rest of his life. Luckily, nothing will ever ruin that. I'm not like robots or anything. But anyways, so they get a match and a max feels. He's the food runner. I mean Basically, Max is looking up to your life right now case or hold your head up high Yes, I love you Max. Sorry. So the rest of the gang gets to their their nice sweet and Katie's like whoa double door

Which I think that's charming that she is still you know impressed by things like double doors Business is like doors You know what I, it's the same. I'm going to do a city business with double doors. You know what I hate? Can I say something with that I hate? Sure. I hate a double door. Sure. Why not?

You know what I hate is a double door where only one of the doors opens. Like, why even have a double door then? You know, it's like, oh, sorry that that door doesn't work. It was like they used to do on American Idol all the time. People would try to cut the right double door, but it wouldn't open. What's the point of having a double door? If one door doesn't open, they should both be able to open.

You should always be able to go through a double door, like Joan Crawford or Joan Collins or anyone. For me, really. Yeah, that's how I go through a double door girl. Watch out. Cheese, the factory. Open them. It's anyway, so.

I think it's because they need to give Randy something to laugh at on American Idol He's like, oh Fell for it again. Also their big doors like that are for furniture. Ben. Okay. It's when you have gigantic Swings that are made out of you know gates gate iron that you have to open double doors for how else you get the piano in Winniebly, but Rachi's in town? How else are you going to make it feel industrial now? Very now if you can't get any big industrial pieces in there. Like a Shandaliya!

So, Ariana's like, oh my god, it's a cage count. Every dream I've ever had is coming true right now. I like the mod. I like the mod. I like the mod. I like the mod. I true right now. I like the lot of dreams that Arianna has left to say. She's got very, her dreams look like obsession commercials from the 80s, you know, very sort of like geometric staircases, black and white. Caches with couches inside.

Poor Katie, the alarm on her face, when she realized that there was not a single spray paint artwork insight. She's like, I thought we were being on trend. Where does it say, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, So Ariana's like if this is what it's like to travel with Lisa, sign me up. I'll be a dog. Put her in a T2 get her in your arms. She'll be carried around by Ken. Ken will be shoving Ariana down the front of his shirt. So Jack's and Brittany who are staying in basically a little closet come down and they're drinking their shampoos and stuff and Who said oh Tom number two. He's like I've been one to You know walk the line of business and pleasure and often that lines again that line gets blurred I'm like when have you ever been a walker line of business?

Where is that what I wrote down to I said where is that line? You know, I've seen this episode, I've seen every episode of this show. I feel like you just sort of stomped around in circles and strange patterns within the pleasure, the pleasure of the show. You haven't quite reached, you haven't quite reached that asymptotic space of business. Yeah. You just lean. It doesn't mean you have any leans. Okay. Let's do it. So, too, he's like, wow, if this trip were haircut, it would be a mollet business up front and party in the back. I've wrote down everything because it's Vanderpump rules. I'm so sorry. No, I did too, but you're saying a lot of stuff that I said. So I'm just like, I can just sit.

Oh, I said. No, I'm saying I just didn't have to say it because you said it. Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to be writing down things I have a comment about, but on this show, you never know what's going to come back and buy to you in the ass on the right down every single thing. I know. I write down everything. Well, because you know, it's the two of us as well.

And you know, sometimes I write down something because it makes me laugh. And I feel like there's something here, but I'm too lazy to write a comment about it, but I'll just say it on the podcast. And I'm sure Ronnie will chime in or I'll come up with something. And that's why you have moments where suddenly we just like explode and like a blah, blah, blah, blah. And then also moments where we're like, and then they said this and then we both go like this. Anyway. I'm like looking around my living room for the way they're to bring me the check. Yeah, I'm like, and so then she got picked up a napkin and I was like, you know, right,

Ronnie, right, right, help me out of your running. Come on, Ronnie, say something about the napkin. I'm hanging out the screen door at the cigarette. So Billy, this is my favorite scene of the episode. Billy Lee, she and Lala go out for a drink together. And she was like, I am Daniel. I am Sam. Sam, I am. That's Sam. I am.

That's Sam. I am. Do you like green eggs and ham? It's my new single. Lala's like, you are a street bitch bitch. That's like some green eggs and ham realness. Like, what is that? I like that. That's like, you know, it's like, it used to be. It's like all green eggs and ham realness like what is that I like that? That's like you know, it's like it used to be it's like all about the Benjamin's and now it's like green eggs

That's what we're talking about. She's just like making it rain with green eggs. You know what I'm saying bitch You wait for me to send so the waitress comes over and Lalo is like um, I'm gonna be really lame today and just do vodka soda Yeah, uh, thanks Really lame today and just do vodka soda. Yeah. Uh, thanks. Well, well, I'll, you'll reach your 30s and you'll realize this, but everyone drinks to keep those calories off. We're just because it's easy as a way to get drunk.

Like, what do you normally drink? Come on, get on board, Lala. So Billy is like, oh, my husband's shot of tequila and light beer, please. And she's like, you are a bad ass. Yeah. And by the way, for the writer, the next time we saw Lala actually drinking something, it was a beer.

So clearly Billy had an influence on this table. Yes. And I like the, nevermind. Okay, so Billy's like, that was one of those moments, by the way, right there. I had no comment about it, just that like, look, Lala said she was ordering a vodka and soda, but you know what, she did?

She drank a beer. Guys, but you know what she did? She drank a beer. Guys, continuity issues. Am I right? Am I right? We really solved this one. I know. I was like, are you really going to force yourself into a light beer joke?

Why would you do that to yourself? I could do it. I could get there. You know why? You know why I know I can get there? Because I walk a line between business and pleasure. You know. So Billy's like, yeah, I'm really stressed. I just said to yoga classes

because I asked my expert commitment and he was like, I just can't believe you had a penis. Such an LA thing to say, I'm like, Billy, you know, you really are doing a great job transitioning because that's like, I'm so stressed today. I just take to yoga classes and still not working. Just give me a tequila and a beer I like when she said true so stressed at logs. Why baby? Lala actually tells her Lala goes you're a fucking chick, dude. I know that was the best part Billy Her ex can't go over the fact that she's a penis and Lala goes you're a fucking chick, dude

Makes exactly and he knew that when we were getting into this. So I don't know what the problem is. So Billy is like, sometimes I just wish he would just look at my soul and my spirit and not my amazing vagina, which is amazing. So anybody want to see my vagina? It is amazing. I, here's the thing that jury's still out on Billy's soul. She's getting like a nice free pass right now because she's like, you know, she is, she's a member of the trans community

and sort of educating us and the masses in the show, you know, about the trans community, which I think is actually excellent to sort of normalizing it. It's not making trans the other. So I think that's all great. But as a result, she's sort of being looked at in a very nice way.

But we know, we know we know Billy you're on Vendor Pump Rules enjoy this free pass while you get it. She's gonna get real dirty soon. When she first came on someone wrote on Facebook, I cannot wait until she gets jacked. So Billy wishes that this guy would look at her so and not her body. And she is like,, maybe he's not the right person. I mean, not to make this about me because I do that sometimes. But seriously, let's make it about me. Like, when I was like coming up, while I was figuring out the nursery for Madison

Marievelle, Parks Vol. That day, I was thinking myself like, oh my god, if I was able to shea, we would not have a Madison Marie Parks Vol.. A lot of it would be more like a Joana jerk face fat face. Shay, and that's not a nice name. I know it's that when moment where you think, oh my god, she is about to have some self awareness and be like, you know, don't move to you fast and don't blah blah blah. It's about say, yeah, she's like, by the way, does your ex need a snowboard? Because I have a new business that's called the force closet. Yeah, she's like, by the way, does your ex-needle snowboard? Because I have a new business. It's called the fourth closet.

Yeah, June is just like yeah like I mean like you know, I should have never gotten married to Shay I mean for a variety of reasons that like everyone could see it was like very obvious like the world But not to me like I shouldn't have been with him. I've been out of them with Rob I just realized that everything feels so right you can you know like amount of events have minutes He can fix a boat. He can buy games So right you can you know like a mountain vans have minutes he can fix a boat he can buy guns So Lala's like well, I have this performance. Okay, all this all this like boy fan talk is great Batch but I have this performance I'm gonna ask Tasty to plan it because I have a meeting and she's she starts going on and she's like

She's a sunset planning on balance with people who have experience. Let's I'm like would you like to sing good as gold again, Sheena? Lala is doing the least of Van from thing. You know, when least of Van from says things like, I would fire Jacks, but the truth is, he's an excellent bartender. And their excellent bartenders are hard to come by in Los Angeles. It's like, wrong on both counts.

And so Lala's like, you know, like a year ago, I wouldn't believe that like if you told me that I was gonna be asking Stasi for help, I'd be like, throw me to Blender and blend me up. But now, I mean, the truth is, she puts on events that are stellar. Like the way she pours gold fish into a bowl, like I have never seen it like that, Tom.

The way she put mylar up over a door with streamers, it's like artists. Did you see the table? They were like round tables, but they weren't like low. They were like tall and they have these like white linens on them and then like some flowers on top. That was fucking game changing bitch. When she brought that game changing bitch face. When that mother fucking baller

brought in that tray of cheese and crackers from Ralph's, I was like, well, surely she's just gonna put it down, but she actually took the mother fucking plastic off the top and was like, boom, cheese plate, that's a baller. And then Billy's face because they bring up James because she's like, but James is performing so nervous and Billy gives her the normed asthma. She's like, this is by the way, after Billy had given it to Sheena, when Sheena was talking about Rob, Billy was hardcore doing it. Like, I hope she hasn't been to talk of Madera recently. And now she's like, pivots over to Lala. And she is like, wow, I really think that my Lala really feels like she also

thinks that James Kennedy because like he discovered her voice. And Lala is like, I would literally take a bullet for James fucking Kennedy. That's my boy, dude. You know, I think she is sadly mistaken. If she thinks that James Kennedy found Lala's voice, she is overlooking the good work of Vile Sternberg, director of Lala's ninth grade production of Oklahoma. I can't think of a musical. I thought you were going to talk about pitching love and catching faith. Well, actually, that guy's left. That's what I was like, where did that

name come from? The other director's name is Randy Sternberger. There you go. Lee. So Katie, Katie and Ariana are talking on the couch while they wait for their guys to get ready. Or their guys are downstairs. They're getting ready. And she's like, wow, our little business man. I just never thought of him being so busy in business like business business. Business pin. He's got a business pin. Okay. It's different from our personal pain

Did you know that business social security numbers are different than regular social security numbers? They are they're longer This is the first time I've been able to tell Tom. I want you to dress business casual and actually meant something I want you to dress business casual and actually meant something. And Ariana's like, she's such a different person when she's not with the three headed Hyde Romance. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, which I guess that means losing. I mean, I don't know He's not from the South Well, he has that song Kissing my sister, which you sang later. So I don't know if it was like an inside joke or whatever But shorts, I mean shorts has been down for is down $400

Santa Vaughn break and even dude and I don't know where Jackson's at but they're all starting shots and they're just partying and meanwhile up in the room Britney's like hey girls I got a pregnancy test I've been puking a lot you know I'm not sure if it's because I've been serving Jack's ham sandwich is that are six months old but I think I might be awesome pregnant too it might be because you're drinking wing sauce before bad Britney okay yeah put it down. Put it down. She's like, before I take a thousand more shots, just want to check this out. Sorry to take it like 50 today. Yes. Ever since Big Bear, my service has been real weird. And Katie's like, you guys don't use birth control. What do you do? Just pray and spray. Which is

just really, really gross. And also it made me think of a church car wash we once did, which made it even more uncomfortable. And basically, Brno's like, yeah, pretty much, that's what we do. We call it, we like to say he saw some of my wings and my wings on him, my stomach. And then she's like, Jack doesn't even know I'm doing this. I'm like, so, why would he care if you're taking your pregnancy tests?

No kidding. He wouldn't even care once you're pressing, once you drop that baby in a toilet at prom, okay, he will not care. Have we learned nothing from Jack's? So Katie's like considering the climate of her relationship. I'm like, okay, whether lady, this pregnancy test certainly is a convenient narrative. Yeah, this pregnancy test certainly is a convenient narrative

This pregnancy test has an 80% chance of a dryness So Katie's like Pionic at black and then Ariana just gets this freak out look like oh my god Jack's reproducing new this cannot be good for mankind. This is this is how we this is how we turn evolution the other way around Yes, it's like an asteroid coming towards the earth like a big asteroid covered in sores. Yeah, yeah, this is not good. Um, so let's, Brittany, Brittany goes in there. She's wearing this like boob boob displaying row white robe cape thing, which is, you know, odd. and she goes to the bathroom she comes back at and she's like it was so hard but it's damn cape thing on had it wonder woman do it she's like I kept on spinning around and around and around and around and I could not get a good shot on

that pregnancy test I kept spinning this pregnancy test around and kept landing on the toilet paper toilet paper didn't make that with me then it landed on the task they didn't make that with me this is taking place the game right. my invisible last time still hasn't caught anything by the way. so there's like a little countdown which is hilarious on the thing I'm like that's fitting. it's like doomsday the doomsday. give the pendency task was like I don't like this I don't like no no I'm just like trying to push the pee off of it self like get it off I feel like this show is really trying to get more funding for plant parent

They're joining the fight. They're like are we sure we're really wanting planning on defunding all the plant parent head This is what we really want to do This is what we want to happen so to do. Is this what we want to happen? So then we go downstairs and the guys are still hanging out and the girls come and join. They've seen the results but we don't know what the results are. And Bernie pulls Jack's side and she's and he's like, well, why is it like it's nothing bad? Jack's is like, I haven't done anything bad except for the absolutely amazing sex we had earlier FYI. I felt like I kept on hitting something in there. What was that?

Um, Jack said what's the towel in the bathroom? Damn it. Why, why does this stick work for Jackson? Not me. It's like making out with towels in the bathroom. Coket. So Brittany's like, speaking to that, he's like, Buffalo wings. She's like, no, look at how I got a stick. He's like a hot dog on a stick. No, but speaking of hot dogs. I keep getting sick. So and his eyes just get wide. I mean, he's been down this path before and make it. He's sort of these words and vacates before and he looks absolutely terrified. Like he has never regretted his desire to call for that lifeguard ever before.

He's like, I just wish I had just quietly perished in those waves at this moment. I know these two are really going to be good parents. She's just like, I don't know if I'm pregnant, but I think I am. I'm just going to keep taking shots until I don't think about it anymore. That's what that's what led to Jack's right. Yeah. And Jack's is like, I mean, she can't be pregnant. I pull out every time. I'm very careful I mean, I mean, I don't pull it every time, but I would say a solid 75% of the time minus six years minus minus 75 percent Also, by the way the plot method doesn't work so

Yeah, that's okay like rely on medieval techniques. Yeah, so she's not pregnant and like rely on medieval techniques. Yeah. So she's not pregnant. And he's never looked so weird. Everyone's cracking up. They're like, oh, well. So let's see. If I can pride myself on anything,

it'll be being a good father. I don't know if you can pride yourself on that. In absentia, yeah. He's like, I'll be keeping them so busy. They won't date. I'm like, yeah, because they all have to have jobs. The second they come out of the goddamn wound, boo. Yeah, I'll be keeping them so busy. They won't date. I'm like, yeah, because they'll all have to have jobs a second They come out of the goddamn wound booth. Yeah, they're gonna be so busy spending on that time trying to find you

It's like my kids are gonna learn how to use texting before any other kids on the block They're just gonna be like going to every bar in strip club in town. It's our daddy here They're gonna be when they're gonna be the youngest kids ever to get those like medical or bracelets. I'm falling and I can't get up. Yeah. My dad's home. They're medical or just to say, child of jacks.

Like, please be advised, child of jacks. They look up one of their ice numbers and it's literally the gas station where they have to go by ice. Their medicaler is just gonna say everything. Everything. We have it. So, it's like, Allah, Allah, me, the bar over in LA and LA and Stasi's like, oh my God, I was gonna wear white and Allah's like, oh my God, I was gonna wear black and Stasi's like, so it's like a switch thing. Yeah, it's kinda like that movie and Natalie Parmin and Minas' water face.

Suvarie? No. Me Laoonis. I saw some headline the other day that was like me LaCoonis and Ashton Kutcher make out on camera. I mean, haven't they been married for years? Shut up headlines. Well, did they divorce?

I think they did divorce, I don't know. I don't know, but I don't care. Also who cares? Yeah, I don't know. This is why I don't read the news, okay? This is what happens. It's like the world is ending. And me LaCoonis kissed Ashton Kutcher. Like I don't care the news. Okay. This is what happens. It's like the word. Literally.

And Mule Coon is kissed, Ashton Cooture. Like, I don't care. Yeah. Like, like, I specifically do not care about Mule Coon as a national coach or kissing on camera. So Stasi is like, I can I say something about Mule Coon is by the way? Please. I actually, I like Mule Coon as a lot, but I once went to a breakfast place here in LA called Squirrel.

And as well as places where you order at a register, and there was a line, and I was standing behind her in line, and she was talking with her friends so much that she kept on not realizing the line. I moved forward and there was a gap. And it was like, I know. It was driving me crazy. So now you hate me like, who knows. No, I just want her to know.

I don't hate her. I don't hate her, but I just want her to be more mindful of gaps in lines. That's all. Because I'm the person that's like, can you please, like, I hate when people don't fill in the gap. I just need that gap to be filled in. I don't know why.

And like, she would feel it. She would fill in eventually. Oh, I know why, because the second it's not filled in, some asshole comes in and stands in front or stands right behind the person where there's the gap. And then when you say there's a line, they look at you, like you're the idiot. That just happened at Whole Foods the other day. I was like, no, there's a line.

And they're like, well, move up. I said, no, we get a bit clear here because there's no other way for people to pass. And he goes, we, and I said, the of Whole Foods dude like is this really a conversation? We're really gonna fight about the gap a lot. There's five people behind me like this not an argument Exactly and like and and and Mielecunis is too famous for me to be like, I'm so sorry Do you think you can move up a little bit? She's just because then it all seemed like I'm trying to like talk to Mielecunis But I'm like, I'm not I have concerns about the line. Yeah, because in your castle who said we, like, whole foods is yours and it's like some village

that other, you sound like the asshole, you know? Yeah, fuck off, I was getting back together. No, no, no, no, no, she doesn't to fuck off. No, I'm just saying my whole foods rage on to me. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm just saying I respect her too much as an actress to interrupt her conversation with her friend. I don't want to, you know, she gets a lot of people talking

to her, so I'm sure. But that being said, I need her to respect me as a line stander in her and fill in the gap just a little bit. That's maybe you should look a bit up to her because like Natalie Portman, like totally came up with her in her own brain. Okay. So maybe you should get with some of your. Maybe if Natalie Portman were in line, she would have filled that gap.

How about that? I'm so happy. I'm so happy. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch.

We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch.

We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. We should go to Barbara Hirsch. This movie Bethelene the gap in the line was like way too much for me. I'm really cool. This is like I hate this song And I'm like shut up me the kune Just fill in the gap. Call it's the cart. Okay cart gap not filled filter

So stasi and blah blah are bonding and stasi's like um, I hate sake, but Lala's a client so So yellow I hate sake, but Lala's a client, so. So, yellow, I'm like, yo, fucking low. So then, Sasi's like, I'm just trying to channel you right now. I'm trying to get on your little energy level since we're dealing with your event. I'm like, that's a great way to bond with your client. Call it your little energy level. Sasi's like, you want my channel?

It's the hotel channel, okay? Pulse open at 5 a.m. She's like, oh, I see you're just going to appropriate my musical background to you. Lala. I get it I get it. Well, how many times have you listened to the lame is album today? How many times have you been on your own? Never. Okay. I'll take a side of vodka, please. She's like, I can have a look. I'm sorry. How many times have you been pretending you're on Starlight Express every time you roller skate? I like you. Oh my god, I do that too.

I'm like, bring in the bridge. Bring in the bridge. No one does. And I just crashed into the sand. So Lala, I'm wondering when you go hiking Griffith Park, do you ever pretend you're an into the woods? Because I do. I play a little red every day of my god damn life.

She'd be a good little red too. Okay. So she's like, I cannot believe we're like having a breakthrough. Like I can't say anything about her now. Mala was like, I always knew that that bitch was a badass. And then we get clips of Stasi and the girls just torturing Lala. Yeah. And Lala, she had that, that was back when she had that like, sort of like that maltease hair going on, that high ponytail that just like cascaded down the rest of her

and she's just like, fuck off, whatever. So, um, so Stasi has decided that she likes Lala now. And she's like, I feel like she should be an honorary member of the Witches of WeHo. I'm like, oh, you better be careful, Stasi, because she's gonna take that over. That's how La La is gonna take over. Yes. Um, I'm looking through this. So La La is like, what do you feel about a menu of cocktails with the name of the songs and Stasi's like, that is an amazing idea, especially that I want to pick your blanket mother fucker. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so. It's so good. It's so. It's Do you have to have a song called Bobcat and soda or? I was smoking at the screen, but we just close it because you never know what rascals could come in here

Like what are we gonna serve for ain't nobody feeling me like I feel it you Spanacopeta I don't know. I'm just looking over what they have a traitor Joe's right now I don't know. I'm just looking over what they have a traitor Joe's right now. You have some teriyaki by the song for your man. So a lot of tell us she goes, it's amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person I know I am musically. I just said for a second, he's like, you just said spread your leg. And she goes, spread my, oh, I meant spread my wings musically. So, so Lala starts telling Stasi about James and how he gets, he, he, in big bear, he got drunk and started coming from her, for her a lot.

And she doesn't want James to get to drunk at her showcase because this is gonna be her showcase and James absolutely cannot get drunk, which means of course that he's gonna get totally wasted and be a huge disaster, which I'm very excited for. That's that's my favorite kind of James when he's just inconsolably awful. Yes, so back in Vegas, the gang goes over to Tipsy Robot, which is a robot bartender bar where they sit behind the screens and pick their drinks. And then this robot arm makes it. And Jack starts freaking out. He's like, this is what we've come to in life. You don't want to interact. You just sit down and blub blub blub blub blub. She was like, I can't order a drink here. I like the twist of the scene was that when Jack's opened up his shirt and we realized there was like a mother board in there. He's like, oh my god, I am a robot.

I was like, oh my god, I'm so lit at Philip K. Dick, right? Scenes for Thunderbolt Brewerles. The man in the high tower, Stony Jacks, Jackson and Kennedy James. I can imagine, I can imagine, I do wish she knew we're there because it would be really hilarious to see her interface with the robots. I think that robot really likes me and I'd order something, he pours it right away and perfectly, as a man, I was not kind of like a sign. Can you believe what Jack said about about me and my boyfriend Rob?

Do what both of you. I don't care. Oh my god, I know that's what I said. I don't care. You can say whatever you want about me. Oh my god. Rob can totally make a robot too. He can do it in like seven minutes.

He should totally like work here as well. Yeah. Hey robot, help me out. Hey robot, how fast can you hang a TV? Mh, stop, TV? That's all. Um, so let's see. Uh, he's freaking out because he thinks his job is going to be, you know, um, taking away from my robots.

Yes, I'm so sorry. Uh, that's what I do. I come on the show and call everybody stupid and I'm the dumbest person around. I'm like, what? What's that word? You know, what was I trying to say? Jack's like, he really wanted to beat up the robots. Like, he had that look in his eye.

Like, it was like that fear, terror, anger. He wanted to go and rip each one of those arms out except for fear that they were all going to like, just like, they probably have some setting where they just all convene and just grab someone by the neck, which would have also been hilarious. Yeah, he's like wait a minute they pre-measure the drink pours how do they get coke for free from customers? This doesn't make any sense. Wait a second they they follow recipes. They their margaritas are sort of like a yellowish green shade. Is that correct? Tom's like, you jealous, bro.

You jealous of a robot, bro. So over and Vegas, they start playing rules. I wrote roulette, but it was blackjack or maybe they changed. I don't know who came. They just are gambling. They're gambling. And that's when Tom Schwartz starts to go down his Gremlins list of things. Just like, ah, no shots after 6 a.m. One glass of water for every drink,

which by the way, doesn't do anything that just means you have a better hangover. Cut off at a thousand dollars loss. And when the sun comes up, go to your room. And we know this is, and he's like, and don't forget to send a thank you card to Phoebe Kate's for helping save your family's house. Don't go in the movie theater. It's pandemonium.

So we think, oh no, you know, this is going to go, this is not going well, but they actually went to bed. There would have been a 2 a.m. and they set their alarms. Yeah. And at 915, Tom and Tom both woke up and I was like, look at them. Maybe they are starting to, you know, walk the line towards business a little bit and they get dressed and sand of all is a little, he's a little tender about waking up. Dude, I swear to God, what the only people up in Vegas right now, dude.

Well, we're awake right now. It's crazy. They're like, I'll bet Jack still is and of course, Jack's was he was just I made a bed. Brittany's like got wing sauce coming down her chin and just warrants us like, oh, I can't believe we're both ready I mean, Tom and I we joke around a lot and jerk off. I mean, I mean, we don't like jerk off together. I mean we're I mean, sometimes we do, but like Not doing it right now. I mean like, oh My point is we're not sending it to kids table anymore. I but like, not doing it right now. I mean, like, ah, my point is we're not sending the kids table anymore. I'm like, uh, creepiest kids table.

Remember, geez. So the Tom's arrived before Vanderpump. And they're talking to the secretary before they do. We should mention that Jackson, Briny, when they're in bed, going about to go to sleep. Jackson, talk about who's freaked out by the pregnancy test. And Briny is like, you know what?

You know, I don't think a lot of people would know this, but I think that Jack's would be a good dad, you know, but I mean, I'll be taking care of the baby probably. I'm like, yeah, so he would not be a good dad. If they come out with, if they come out already having leprosy, then they can't be afraid of getting leprosy. She would have made a lot of plans put some step ahead in the world. And poor Jacks, he thought that I promised you to test. He thought that she had to stick it up there for China.

He's like, so you just stuck it up there and they came to the results. He's like, Jay, X, I'm beyond it. It's like, I've been testing people for years. I'm a mobile testing unit. He's like, why don't I ever see any results when I'm beyond you? So they get to the equipment place that they're supposed to be at and one of them's like we're waiting for our bosses and the other

times like no, but it's not our bosses is our partners. And the lady behind the desk is like okay. And Lisa arrives in full you you know, pirate ruffle. She's like, all right. We're looking at cups and glasses and plates, but there have to be industrial. It's not going to be pretty. It's going to be industrial romantic. Industrial sexy now. It's going to be industrial with chandeliers. Oh. Okay. I like every restaurant to have their own personality. You know, sir, you sit on the ground in black lighting and pump.

Well, you sit on chairs in black lighting and I don't know. Lots of pots in industrial pots. I want Edison bulbs. You know, something a little too bright to keep Kristen away And bug zappers I see bug zappers and like those little rackets that you swing at flies We won't even have to sing music there. We can just listen to the sounds of Kristen saying Tom Tom is going to be a bit more architectural.

We're going to have upside down staircases like an MCS. Leading to a kitchen that's both upstairs and downstairs. Who do you think can Eschis get better, Mirio? No darling. Oh, I have to say they show us the drawings of the restaurant and it looks really pretty. I thought, did you? Wait, sorry, you broke up a little bit. Oh, no, Ben. Are you back?

I mean, the bad, sorry. That was a very industrial sexy now moment. These sketches of the restaurant look really pretty to me. They actually look great. You know, they looked, I mean, there still was a bright purple slash magenta couch as we anticipated, which will certainly have zebra pillow accents, but the rest of it actually looked really good. It actually did look more masculine. So I was happy about that, but also keep in mind that the sketches were by, you know, an actual designer, not Lisa, which is not the shade

Lisa, but I'm just saying it's like a person who's really, really, really. She said, I don't normally use a designer. Like really? So what did this, Andy? No, she does it all herself. That's her whole thing. She did, she did all the restaurants by herself. So they're looking at things.

By the way, secretly, I could watch a half an hour of like Lisa Vanderpump choosing plates and things. I was like very invested in this. I was like, hmm, I like that. I'm like, I want to go shopping for for restaurant decor. Yeah. She's like, what do you think of this lighting? And two's like, uh, yeah, my opinion doesn't really matter. She goes, it does, it does really matter.

I'll never use it. And then you're trying to find masculine things. So Tom Tandeval pulls out this like a cocktail glass but has all these sort of like little etchings on, like swirly etchings. He's like, dude, I like this very masculine. And she's like, that's not masculine at all. And I'm like, wow, if Lisa Van Opomp is saying

that something's not masculine. You're wearing foundation, Tom. All right, please don't tell me what's masculine. So then she's like, what about these? Now these are manly, manly plates. Ooh, I'd love to have some grab on these. And I'm like, those are floor to-lea plates, Lisa. It's like plates covered in floor to-lea.

But she did have some square bowls and she had slabs. It was definitely more masculine. I was, why don't maybe she really is doing something industrial, she. I actually really enjoyed watching her. I felt like she actually was, I felt like a lot of times we see Lisa doing things around the restaurant and it's always like,

oh, how are the salt and pepper shakers? They good, it feels just like some sort of perfunctory scene. Hey, I work at a restaurant so I should do something administrative, but you actually felt like we were seeing some of her restaurant acumen in play happening. Picking bowls, square bowls, tell your friends, your industrial friends. So they basically everyone's impressed that they showed up on time, kept their mouths semi-shot and she's like, wow, wonderful job. Tomorrow will

be seeing Diane Lane at 10 a.m. Nicolay! Don't mess it up. We came all the way to Vegas to meet Nicolay. I'm trying to be like a Lane, Nicolay. Nicolayne's stretch. So, uh, two's like, I feel so professional. I brought Jell-O shots. Yeah. So back at the hotel, the girls are planning a little party for Tom, and they got a cake for him, and Jack's got him a guitar. And I was like, the police are going to be here at any moment,

because Jack's did not buy a Taylor guitar. Yeah, somewhere, somewhere. The head of like the hard rock, because you know, is like looking up Jack's stats right now. Like, setting a hitman over the head. Yeah, somewhere, somewhere. The head of like the hard rock, because you know, is like looking up Jackson's stats right now, like setting a hitman over. There's like a, there's like a Tom Petty mannequin that's just standing there hands empty.

It's like, no, she's one. Jackson's just, Jackson's just goes up and breaks the window and feels like a tar out of it. He's like, Elvis played out of this, bro. I've just played out of this, bro. So then Tom plays this song, I should know better than Kiss and my sister. Yeah, I call that. Yeah. And then they bring out the cake and he's like, bro, there's a penis on there's a penis on my cake with a squirting dick.

Oh, I'm Brittany. So I talk with discharge. That's what you got. Got you into this mess in the first place. I'm not going to talk with this charge. That's what you got. You went into this mess in the first place. It's a paraphrase, big business. That cake, people online were like, Ben's really going to talk about that cake.

I had nothing really to say about the cake, but apparently they came from Milk Bar, which is something, I don't know what it is. It looked like it was filled with fruity pebbles. I was in love with the cake. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I would not have eaten it,

because I don't like fruity pebbles not have eaten it because I don't like fruity pebbles or lucky charms because I don't like fruity. You know me have weird fruit issues which is not a self-loathing gay issue. No. What would you say? I thought it was just the CD fruits like berries and stuff. I don't like fruity flavor things like juicy fruit, you. Like, I, so like I'm not, I'm, I like citrus. I like apples, I like bananas, like mango. A lot of stone fruit. I just like, I hate peaches. I hate nectarines. I hate a lot of berries, except for cranberry. I like cranberry. Well, Jesus, I'm glad I'm not waiting on you. Oh, it's the worst. I hate it.

Like, I hate when someone has like a, like a blackberry-centred perfume or, or like a strawberry car freshener like it's I'm not trying to be funny. It truly makes me want to throw up. I know I remember taking you into a vape shop You're like oh yeah, remember I said outside. I was like I get with all these fruity scents I can't so like pebbles tricks all that shit. I cannot do it You know what for years? I didn't even have if there was an ice cream cake That you know writing and like that sort of like blue or red writing, I wouldn't even eat it because I was like, it's fruity. And then someone said, no, it's

just, it's food coloring. Oh, man. Yeah. So good. The cake is all for me then. I will take care of you. More for you. I don't want that new to cake. So they go to dinner for Tom's birthday and Lisa's hooked them up in some back room and it's really fancy and well most of them up She's hooked most of them up because Jackson and Brittany were not allowed at dinner. Oh my god. They weren't there No, that was the whole thing because it was just it was Tom and Arianna and Tom and then Jackson and they're like well Jackson like this anyway, he wouldn't eat anything here He probably won't have a pizza and they cut to Jackson Brittany. She bring each other. He's like, you want to get a hater? He goes, you hooters.

And back at their restaurant, Tom, it's just making duck jokes. Because the waiter's like, well, what do you, what do you feel about duck? And Tom's like, it's fantastic. The waiter just thinks, just angrily blinks at him. Like, you know, he's like, he's very famous for a duck. And he's like, whoa, duck amazing. I like that you're giving Melissa a laugh to it. I don't know that I know how Tom laughs after all these years.

I just like the stony, angry face of the waiter, because you know, he was like, we were about to be picked up for our own reality show, Mr. Chow rules before you came along. I was gonna be the star, I was gonna be the jacks. I liked that Tom number two is so excited because he gets to order Fiji as his water instead of tap. He's like, well, we're fancy now. Katie's like, that's so busy. Oh.

So I can have my ranch in the champagne glass, please. Thank you. It's like, I don't know why people waste $80,000 going to Harvard Business School when they could just order a Fiji water and Vegas and be just as good. So over in LA, Lala is having a photo shoot with James because you know James has been doing so well at Sunt. See you next Tuesday. That he's decided to get new promo shots in a glitter jacket. So she's like, you cannot drink at my mother fucking street event batch. I will cut you in the

face pig, put a cap in your ass. Okay. Yeah. And Lala's like last time that James did a shoot, like, or I guess James is like, last time I did a shoot, Lala, Portia, and Payne on me, shirtless. And Raka was like, who? Raka was just trying to figure out if Lala was short, Liz or James was short, less than that story. Yeah, she said. She's like, seriously, I don't have the capacity for details.

I had to pick up three pieces of poo but better pump dogs today. So James is like, yeah, he's like, see you next Tuesday. It's such a huge success. We're gonna be bigger and better. Okay, we're going for blinds, posters, next week blooms, party down below. And yes, I will still be running up to random fans in the street and think, we have a shot. We have a shot, bro. Yeah, good luck. Good luck. Good luck in the MeToo movement, putting up a blimp that says

see you next Tuesday over our city. The MeToo movement has not hit sir yet, don't worry. Oh my god, time has been way up for him. So we learned that Lala put Shina on her track, her trifer, my man. And we see a flashback to Sheena at the Burbank studio. And all she had to do was say something like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, and she's like, yo, yo,

yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and not off from Stake at Monsters to come support his girl, or support her, but let's just, man. Yeah, I'm like, I think he is supporting her in different ways. Have you seen the Range Rover? Also, he doesn't want to be on reality TV, so. Also, Stake at Monsters versus listening

to James sing drunkenly. He has white lips and rap. Yeah, exactly. Stake at Monsters versus anything that has been offered on Vinterprim rules. Mastros wins. It's like, do I want to be in a cramped showcase in the back room of who knows what?

Like a Denny's or don't want to be having a stake at Mastros. Yeah, he's like a fully loaded baked potato or sent. Mm. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Like, do I want to be having a delicious steak with a potential business partner who's gonna get me a million dollars or do I want to listen to James Kennedy? DJ go wiki wiki somewhere next to pizza oven or do you want to listen to Tom make more duck jokes because it dinner

Tom is like dude this duck isn't what it's quacks up to me, get it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'll let Duck Baby. This duck is quack. Hey, what's the bill? Duck Bill, get it? Harry, I'm just like, really mean. Really mean. Yeah, really mean.

She's just like puffing from her inhaler. She's like, between Tom's comedy and all this food, I just basically can't breathe anymore. I think that was a weed inhaler. Oh, was it? I think so. I just thought she was having an asthma attack from overstimulation. It's just breathing and it's just spending so much time with Britain Jackson breathing

in their fumes. It's a lot to take in. So now, of course, it's like, I'm climbing the mountain to success and I'm not letting anything get in my way, which is immediately when the ship crashes and he has to start eating again. So now, of course, is like, I'm climbing the mountain to success. I'm not letting anything get my way, which is immediately when the ship crashes and he has to start eating area on a stay alive. It's like every movie I've ever seen. Yeah. You know, who else was climbing the mountain to success? The lady in the first scene of cliffhanger. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Silvestre Stallone. So slow your role, Silvestre. I like making your reference. That's about 27 years old.

So everybody goes to party party party party party party party. It's gonna be a 3 a.m. curfew, 3 a.m. curfew, because they've got to be up early for a 10 a.m. meeting with Nicky Lane. So that doesn't happen. So they all get totally wasted and both the Tom's are like well if he stops all stop But I'm not gonna say stop if he says stop. I'll stop But if he doesn't say stop I'm not gonna stop. I was like oh my god you guys are both like Hayley Mills in the parent trap Yeah, it's like This is exactly what any any business

Minded person wants out of their partners, right? Like a total lack of self-control and enabling. Yeah, I don't know what I made it. I think I made it hailing mills because I'm old, but I mean, Lindsey Loan definitely makes more sense in this situation. Yeah. Thank you for updating that reference. Thank you. You guys are welcome. Your TV guide listings have just been updated to the modern. Now, here, everyone thought I was going to talk about the cake,

but I have more things to say about the cupcake because when they're at Tau, the waitresses come with a giant one of those giant cupcakes. And first of all, they're bringing the cupcake and then they release confetti, which means that all the confetti gets into frosting. So I'm like, already like, could you have time this a little bit better, please? Second of all, I hate a giant cupcake because the ratio of frosting to cupcake is totally out of whack because in a normal cupcake,

you have a flat top and then you have like a little, you have a triangle of frosting but in an oversized cupcake, the triangle of frosting is not, it's just a triangle of cupcake with like a thing of frosting on it. So you have way too much filling.

So that's my way of saying this confetti covered out of a portion cupcake is not suitable. Well good because if any of them ate it they wouldn't be thin enough to party in that club anyway. Yeah. I just I have a moral objection to oversized cupcakes. I think they should. At that point just have cake. I stand against. That's what the Oscars are going to be about next year. And we're going to be standing against oversized cupcakes. are going to be about next year. And we're going to be standing against oversized cupcakes. I am, I am, I, there are certain things I am very passionate about. I'm like, a cupcake times up.

Okay. And not to take away time is up. Not to take away from that movement. But so over at the meeting, they're late, of course, and the alarms going off. And yes, the next morning. Yeah, well, the next morning, because by the way, they get back to the room at 3.15 a.m. They're all really wasted and now it's the next morning. And Lisa can, Panty and Jason are meeting with someone at Siege's Palace. And he's like, we're going to put Banner from Frosé on our drink menu. And Lisa is like, oh, Panty and Jason's like, we're gonna put Bannup on Frosé on our drink menu. And he says like, Oh, Pandy and Jason's not real baby,

but Rosé baby has grown up and moved off to Vegas where it is going to flourish and go from being a broken Rosé bird to a proud wings-spreaded Rosé bird. Fly! Pandy has always loved little Caesar's and we are honored to partner with you. He's like, no, Caesar's the casino we're in.

Oh, yes, Little Caesar's, the pizza place that's inside every came out across America! No, Lisa, the actual casino. Yes, Little Caesar's donna breadsticks! We're in! Okay, let's just sign the contract. Chef Joe has a special sort of salad where he makes his anchovies with egg whites and parmesan and he calls it a Caesar salad. Is that what we're talking about? Yes, Lisa.

You sold your rosé to Caesar salad. I won, I won. Question. Can we feel Neptune's fountain with band-on, Proze and set of waters? That's possible. I hear it's quite an exciting attraction. Why am I the only person that mine for this show? Bit of a doubt.

Get out of my way. So the portals are late, of course. Yeah, we're all those little twits. Uh-oh. That's a little bit different. They walk up a tent, but it's across the street. Little twits. They woke up at 10, but it's across the street. Little twins. So, the guys make up at like 10, 20 in the morning, which here's the thing, the cameraman

were in there. Did they not hear the cameraman come in? Like, I'm just confused about all of it. Or maybe they got like an alert like, oh God, the guys are late. Like, something was not adding up, but it's 10, 20. The guys, they don't start approaching the meeting until 11 o'clock, 7 am. That's an hour and seven minutes after the meeting starts.

And on top of that, they're sipping fireball on the way. So we know this is not the height of professionals. We know that the line between pleasure and business has escaped them yet again. Yet again. And she's like, I'm excited to make business decisions. They're wasted. She's like, you look terrible.

Your eyes are invisible, Coraline. And I'm like, what? Well, I'm here. It's like, they smell like this is the antithesis of their actions yesterday. Anyone know what antithesis is? No. Anyone. It's antithesis is? No. Anyone. It's like antipasta, which is also on the menu.

That's why you have nothing in a little Caesar's. So, um, he says annoyed. He says, I actually truly believe that Lisa is annoyed because she has a range for them to go from Caesar's to meet this, to meet this restaurant designer named Nick Alain who I guess is very good at what he does. And Lisa is like really impressed with him and as you mentioned before, Lisa designed

all her own restaurants but in this case she decided essentially to hire this guy and he's so in demand that you know they're lucky to have in-hour with him. I mean it can't be that lucky because they have a bra, you know, San Bravo and he's so in demand that, you know, they're lucky to have an hour with him. I mean, it can't be that lucky because they have a bra, you know, some bravo and she's a celebrity. So I'm sure he was able to carve out an hour easily for her, but she is like all about Nicolay. She's like, Nicolayn, he isn't a designer. He's more than that.

He's a craft smadden. Crap Smad. Mmm. Nah. And they smell like a brewery in a jolly rancher Swiss strand of horse moaning mouth. Oh, Nicolaine, I apologize. He's like the Guillermo of restaurant design. Consumet professional. They show up and yes, they're drunk and stuff, but really Tom's just being Tom. Okay. He's like, yeah, I like those eyes, but they're too low're too low not too low. What about that? Maybe it should be higher. Look at that light. Maybe you should have a light bulb in it. She's like, oh, she's getting

so nervous. Oh, I'm about to shut your little face. Like, well, you are working with Tom. You're lucky. He's not challenging this guy to a jump rope competition in the middle of the glass door. Yeah, but she's basically like, I want to hear what Nicolaine has to say. I want to hear his ideas. And Tom is essentially jumping in with like, oh, what are we putting a door knob on every bottle? But like underneath, you know, so be cool like you're sitting outdoors,

but they're actually still old and she's like, quiet. Oh, yeah, basically just show up, enjoy your nice dinner and your big fat room and be quiet. And you know what, I get it. Like honestly, you know what though, they were an hour late to the meeting. She has a right and be quiet. And no, I get it. Like, honestly, you know what, though, they were an hour late to the meeting. She has a right to be pissed. And even if their input was totally good,

they kind of forfeited the right to contribute in this scenario because they showed that they didn't care enough. The whole point of the trip was actually in me with this guy. And it just showed like, they had a lack of professionalism, at least as portrayed on TV, you know, who knows how much like this was orchestrated by production. But like, I kind of feel like if you're going to show up late, you know, you're basically saying,

oh, I'm just here to party and then I'll show up and do some functuary work. Well, then guess what? Then you're also not going to get to make these decisions. Now let's talk to Nicky Lane, you know? So I got why she was not because I've been that person before, you know? So like, you know, she's just like scolding them. They want it. They're suggesting everything. And she's just like, stop, stop, stop, stop it. Stop it. And it's like, well done. I'm just like, excited. I'm excited. No. Uh, so yeah, she's pissed off and she's like, I also want to read to find their rules. There must be a couple of spaces for tosses I could feel. Do you know what tosses are? And I didn't. So I looked it up and it's masterbaters. Oh, and Tom just made a masturbating comment how they jerk off the other. So there you

got. There is room. You see it's like wrapped up in a how they jerk off the other. So there you go. There's room for you. You see it's like wrapped up in a nice little jerk off bow. Oh, I will say I think also the reason why I think I enjoyed this scene is because Lisa, the way she was picking out stuff and like promoting her, the way she does things is basically the way my mom does it. Like, well, like my mom, we were, we got a plant. My mom was became very determined to get a plant for the new apartment. And so we went to a nursery and she's like, I think this one's good. I was like, I don't know.

She's like, no, the height, it's really good. I was like, I don't know if I'm feeling it. I sort of feel like my mom's like, just trust me. When it's there, you'll see it really works. And that's basically what Lisa was doing. And by the way, long story short, of course, my mom got away. And now we have my mom's plant. And it also looks really good. Yeah. So I was like, I think when I was watching the way, long story short, of course, my mom got away. And now we have my mom's plant. And it also looks really good.

Yeah. So I was like, I think when I was watching the scene, I was thinking about my mom. I really shouldn't have disnought my mom's plant that day. My mom is so good at being out plants. You see guys, Vanderpump rules. They're just like us. Yeah.

So now Lisa's just getting more and more angry. And she basically exiles, banishes the two guys in another room while she can and Nicolay and are making decisions. And Tom is going nuts. He's like, dude, they're making decisions right now. And Shorts like, yeah, but we're have drunk. Yes.

So let's just sit here. You know, I brought some jello shots. Well, no, that's it. I'm going to go say something. So he goes in there and he's like, we said, and she's like, not now, Tom. And he's like, okay. I think I said too much. There's now a good time. He said, no, Tom, no. How about now? No, just go away. Look at the lamb sheds. Oh, the lamb sheds.

And then Tandoval, basically it ends with him being like, I don't want Lisa to question our partnership. That's like the last thing that I want. I'm like, well, don't get wasted before your big meeting and you'll be fine. Yep. And that brings us to the end of Van der Pumperoo. So's wacky little Tom Tom. Wacky little Tom Tom. And last week, I said, you might notice that that restaurant's not open. We'll do Rani because it's time to round TV shows So of course it's not gonna be open until it opens on the TV show Yeah, and it's slated to open apparently Tom said on Kate Casey's podcast. It's gonna be open

At the end of May I think perfect. So yeah, it looked I mean the renderings look really good So I'm excited to see it and I I actually do think, I will say this. I think Tom really does take pride in his work. I mean, we gave him shit for being drunk at this meeting, but like just being around him the way he like, we'll talk about a certain cocktail. He'd like, dude, what you do is you got to put, like, you put the booze in first,

and then you put the mixer in, and then you just like wait for the fierce to go down, and then you put in a thing, and like, dude, it's like the perfect cocktail. He gets so excited. I know we ready. I know. I look like dude. Oh, but I have to look up a dude.

Dude, but I think he really does take a lot of pride in his work. So even though he messed up in this meeting, you know, I think I'm excited to see what Tom Thompson will be like. Everybody, thank you so much for listening. We will talk to you tomorrow when we'll be back with the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah, and don't forget to go to watchcrapins.com to buy your tickets to our live shows

and be sure to do that board game giveaway thing. We'll put the rules up on Instagram. Goodbye, everybody. Hi. Bye! Hey, prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.