Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: For Whom The Taco Bell Tolls

Episode Date: January 3, 2018

"Vanderpump Rules" kicks off 2018 with a special gift to the audience: a second cheating scandal! We're still barely wiping the Taco Bell off our lips from the first one! Come listen to our recap of the latest episode! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsor! Can't have a burger without Megan Berg.

Cindy Burgess Gerson. What an amazing person! Just saying, okay. Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go HIGHLOW. And Kristi Dauri, the OG Prem Supreme. Plus our super premium sponsors. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master and

Lizzie Drucker a fine mother fuck The heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens, the heavens to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over's Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. Happy New Year! I'm Ben Madelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Banderblender podcast. And joining me on this fresh January day is none other than my lovely wonderful and back on dry land co-host Ronnie Karam from trash talk tv dot com and the Rose Prick Special Podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hello happy new year. I don't want to live in a world without three buffets a day.

Oh yes it's time to to reactimate to life not on a cruise ship. Nothing's rocking me to bed at night. Oh, I don't get to watch like straight guys stand on the very edge of the button screen. I'm the king of the world over and over. Is that just the things that straight guys do? I mean, they even see each other doing it and then they wait until they're alone

and then they do it Yeah, I guess like you know that guy dies in the movie right? It sounds like a straight guy thing to do sort of like saying Winning you know nine years after Charlie Sheen and whenever that was you know thinking that's still funny we're saying was a Was a was a was a during Tasmania devil t shirts, et cetera. Oh, oh, yeah, I saw some good Tasmanian devil t shirts for sure.

But you know, spending that much time around so many straight families, you know, congratulations, straight world. You're out there and you're still kicking. Good job. You're loving your lives and good for you. So we just recorded a bonus episode that you can find on Patreon, Patreon.com slash watch for crap ends. And if you support the podcasts, you can listen to our bonus episodes. It's great, we have a ton of them.

We have like 150 bonus episodes. There's a lot of content. So if we ever go on vacation again, you can just like fire up the bonus episodes and it'll get you through the week. So we talk about that. Yeah, you can just like fire up the bonus episodes and it'll get you through the week So we talk about you can hear us talk about self checking out. Yeah, we talked about our our little Christmas break And then somehow it turned into rants against self-checkout and versus regular check out and issues with supermarkets Etc. We can all identify with I think I think so. Yeah, I think so

self- check out bullying. Yeah. The bully and being bullied. Yeah. It's just like castwives. So now that we're back, it's, of course, we wouldn't be a podcast if we didn't shill our own shows. So it's important that we shill now, because now that we're in the New Year, it's time

these are our live shows are starting and we have a show in just over two weeks in Boston January 18th. So if you want to come see us at the Sinclair, buy your tickets now. I don't know how many are left, but buy those tickets so we can sell that out. We sold out our second show which is, well, our first show is technically on the 20th and our second show is on the 18th. But the 18th comes first so our second show is the 20th. Doesn't matter. Watch our crappens.com is just go there and you can you can find the link there to buy tickets for the Boston show as well as so many other shows we got Houston Houston is selling very steadily it's I've been watching the numbers go down down down down down which is exciting Chicago where else we have Ronnie um I don't know that copy

title is thing to it sorry I'm just kidding um Detroit Chicago uh New York there are some breaking news there There's somebody is breaking news breaking news. Okay. I'm just hearing this in my headset Ronnie there is a press conference going on right now Do you want to head over to there to hear what is happening at the press? Yes, I love news. Okay. Oh wait. It looks like Oh, it looks like it's Ramona singer is coming to the podium. Okay. Let's listen in hot singer is coming to the podium. Okay, let's listen in. Welcome to the press conference.

I'm proponious singer and I'm here to represent Luian Dilla Seps. Okay, I'm here because Luian had very tough Christmas and she's finally ready to face the press through me. Okay, so first a few ground rules about this press conference Over there question woman in the black. Hello. What's your name? Skinny girl. All right, Skinny girl wants to know Did you get pictures of this like do you have pictures of this like what do do you have pictures of this? Like, what do you immediately do out of camera? Like, seriously, they come on phones. You didn't get a picture?

Like, there's a camera there. Was it videotape? Does there any evidence? Because, like, if I was a spokesperson, I would have evidence, you know, like, I would be better if this was your terrible. You don't know how to brand yourself. Well, thank you for asking that question, Mr. Skinny Girl.

So, I would have had pictures, but I wasn't invited to Palm Springs. Okay, so I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I have no photos of what happened. Yes, you fear in the white, silly dress. Um, I have a question, because Palm Beach is different than West Palm Beach. So was she arrested in West Palm Beach or was she arrested in Palm Beach? Whoa, this is crazy, because this reminds me of when I was a little girl. And I was like, where's the beach?

I want to see the beach. I want to see what ocean looks like. And Geraldine Parsons says, no, you're a bad little girl. And you don't get to see what the ocean looks like. You can just look at the dirty Hudson River. And to this day, I've never seen the beach, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know what a beach looks like. Next question.

I'm gonna take that as Palm Beach. You can take it however you want, but I don't believe in Palm reading. I'm sorry, I think it's the work of the devil. Okay, I believe in Christianity, I believe in Jesus, I believe in religion, and my good husband, Mario Singer, who will come back to me someday. I got question, I got question, I got question. Yes, lady holding the Martines. Please thank you for talking to me like that.

I'm really, I'm really happy. Why can't we just be friends? Why can't we just be friends? It's so annoying, I'm laughing. I think this is a great idea. I would totally love to be friends with you, Mr. Rinda. And in fact, I think we should go to a bar. And when we go to the bar, we'll get some drinks.

We're gonna get three drinks. We're gonna want in a short glass with a lime. Okay, want in a tall glass with two limes. And want in a medium sized glass with one and a half limes and some tequila. Okay. I have a question. All right, to the skeleton and the first row.

You look like a real reporter. Do you like Hillary Clinton? I'm with her! Not Luann, the other her. Hillary Clinton. I was a photo journalist for many, many years with best-selling votes. My question is, what does it feel like to be down for the count?

Get it? Well, I certainly know a few things about being down for the count. Because when I drink a lot of drinks, I get drunk and I get very tired. And I like to lie down in my bed and maybe cry myself to sleep. It happens every time I hang out with my good friend Avery, who's also my daughter, but also her friend's and my good friends too. And I'm basically like Avery and her friends, and we're just cool girls, and we like going to cool restaurants like Butter, okay? Ramona needs to start working at the White House. She would do a great job.

Let me talk about deflection. That's the kind of press conference I want to hear. Yeah, I Yeah, I agree. I think I think Ramona would be great And I also like how Ramona made all the questions about the way I'm about Yeah, it's like total deflection like what are we doing with North Korea? Well, let me tell you okay Like I only stay up north. Okay on the east side. okay? Because South is downtown and nobody goes there, okay? I don't care for Korean food very much, okay? I'm sorry, I'm more of a sushi girl, and I know that sushi comes from South Korea, but it also comes from China, okay? Sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, hey. Well, poor Lewan, you know, this story was just so juicy so lewand got arrested as we all know by now sorry we weren't here to talk about that on christmas eve or actually yeah christmas Eve because it was like two a.m. on christmas Eve and she got arrested for the most lewand thing ever like threatening to kill a cop i'm like kicking him and stuff which is just to me is just so hilarious because you know that that's when Lewand's just drunk as a scunk, okay?

Yes. So then as more stories came out, we found out why her ass was arrested. She went, she was at the hotel, was someone I used to date, I mean, there's no big deal. I'm not gonna say who, but it was just someone, you know. I mean, I'd give you more direction, but I don't want it to be a Tom Tom situation. So she was sleeping with some deed at a hotel and the maid was making up a room that she thought was her room. So she just went in and was like, get out, maid. And it's very remote off her actually. No remote,

it would have been like, stay here. Okay. Well, I make love. Could you arrange our shoes? Yeah, here's 250 dollars. I would like some tea at 5pm. Please, thank you. More cream like classic, Mark. More cream, please. You know, my classic, my classic margin, my Ramona are slowly coming like slowly starting to merge. I just want everyone to know. So she goes into this hotel room and starts fucking this deed on the bed and the people, I guess from the hotel, I mean, someone's like, this is not your room Hotel. This is my room, Morocco. My room, Morocco. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there.

I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. I'm not going to be there. This is not the Plaza Hotel.

This is my room, Morocco. My room co. Yeah, so they basically tried to kick her out and then she barricaded herself in the bathroom and security was like, may I have to leave? And she's like, I'm in the bathroom doing elegant things. As elegant people do. This is America. We don't care if you're shitting.

Okay. I don't know why all these housewives run into the bathroom and barricade themselves. It's like the last place you can escape from. You know, it's not like a movie where you can stand on the toilet and punch out a little hole in the ceiling and then reach, you know, reach up across the crawl along air vents. Like, what are you in the muppets take Manhattan? The bathroom. Yeah. I'm about to say like it only works in the movies when you're in some bar and then a bad person walks in, so you go to the back room and then you close the bathroom door

and there's a little window and you're looking at it and you're trying to crawl in and then the bad guy's patting on the door and they finally burst through and they just see an open window. Sorry, Lewey, it doesn't work that way when you're on the fifth floor of whatever. Yeah, how many times does that trick detectives in movies? They're like, well, I got a lot of go to the bathroom. I can't possibly go into the ladies room. I'm very polite

with my prisoners suddenly. Like, whenever it becomes about, you know, pooping, they're like, oh, gotta have your privacy. A lady can't poop in front of someone? Well, I'm just concerned because I feel like our chief bathroom locker winner is Kim Richards. And I am hoping that Luanne is not on a Kim Richards path. I feel like whenever you're people locking themselves in bathrooms, they're like trying to dispose of evidence. Slash.

You know, suddenly decide they have to cancel thing. Yeah, crystal, crystal math, crystal math. And I don't want the wind to go down that path if it's cocaine fine No, yeah poor Lou But not poor Lou not poor Lou Because only the wind could just have such a sensational arrest because even before we heard your stories the only piece of Evidence that we knew is that she yelled at the police officers, I'm going to kill you all, which is the most absolutely epic,

wonderful way to go down in the flames. I'm going to kill you all. I'm a former Countess. I have a bedding line. It ross, I'm going to kill you all. I'm still gonna try to make a Lumae, I'm sorry, that's called I'm gonna kill you all. I'm still gonna try to make a little way, I'm sorry, that's called I'm gonna kill you all. You're gonna pay for this, and the next time you're in the home good section of the

Ross dress for less. And then she has the nerve to take a mug shot that looks excellent. She's smizing, that's what everybody on my mind was thinking. Like she's smizing, like she just kills it. She shows up and, you know, she's smising like she just kills it. She kills shows up in like you know She's arrested in like a floral print dress Mm-hmm your honor. I'm sorry. I was just enjoying a bed and these

These idiots came in with their herman monster shoes and tried to arrest me I'm sure that you can explain as a giant misunderstanding right. I'm trying to make love to an old friend You know, I've had very emotional year and suddenly it's the cast of babe in there trying to pull me out Well then Luanne blamed it on Tom basically. She's like well being back in West Palm Beach or Palm Beach. I don't know. They're pretty much the same am I right? being back here with Memories of Tom. It just took me to a dark place and next thing you know

I'm just locked in a bathroom remembering all those times I heard missy's voice on his cell phone and he pretended like it was Dominos pizza. My guy can hear it Tom. Right here. Oh Lewan. Yeah Lewan's like it was very emotional going back to that dark place and I hope you can forgive me for having feelings. It's like okay you were not in a dark place. You were like, fuck this, it's Christmas Eve.

I'm gonna go party in Palm Beach and fuck somebody. Okay? Like that is the ultimate in celebrating, okay? That's when you're like, I'm still who I am. And I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I was proud of her, you know? It's not real until you get arrested. Yeah.

Tonight, tonight was my rose, add my thorn. Please. Let's just make it my rose So now Lou ends in rehab which normally I would say for you, but I say boo Yeah, I say boo, but like how rehab is it? I think she posts something on her Instagram. I'm gonna put it up right now Let's see if I can find it. Let's see. I'm on a vacation in Malibu Promises those are things that Tom made me. I don't know you're allowed to Instagram from rehab. So she has this video. She has this video, this video, it's a clock. Let me explain what's, let me explain what's on her.

Let me explain what's on her. Let me explain what's on her thing. So it's a video, it's a clock, and it's basically saying 11 o'clock, and the video is the hour, is the minute hand winding up to midnight. The 11 o'clock, the hour hand, the little hand is on, something that says, drink this, drunkenness. Oh no, it's a darkness, never mind. It goes disease, corruption, hate is at 6 p.m. Then setbacks, failures, regrets, chaos, and then darkness. But I read it as drunkenness, which is hilarious. And she goes, her caption is, happy new year.

So she's taking that from inside, that's like a rehab from a rehab poster or something that's hanging up. Oh, I see when it gets to 218 in 2018, it goes the clock turns, it turns into bright, healthy, successful, prosperous, countless collection. Another drink please, Tomatune.

Oh, look at 6pm in 2018. Hello officer. I'm not going to kill you all. Look at the things have changed. Total new leaf. Here I am in my rightful room, number 237. Thank you. Thank you.

The man is just, this just really elevated her and it got me to thinking, why do we love real housewives of New York City so much? You know, I'm always thinking about this, but why do I, I've been thinking about this since we saw Erica Jane get interviewed by Brian Moilin, like about a month and a half ago at Vulture Fest, and when Erica said that she went to the Regency, the entire crazar laughing, and remember I was talking about this a few weeks ago, like what? There's something about New York City that creates this sensation. And I think I figured out what it is. I think I figured out why real housewives of New York

is so funny and sort of makes these elevates all these places and things to legendary status. And I think it's because of all the real housewives, it's the most, it's the one that is the most similar to watching seven gay men hang out. Totally. You know, I know your children are out. Oh my god.

You're choked up. That is funny. But it is. They're like, yeah, yes girl, everything. Okay. Like they're all, they're all sort of like drag queens. We always say that all these housewives are like drag queens, but they're really like drag queens.

They interact like Cady Gay Men. And I think it's why it resonates in a very different way, at least for me. Well, they're all definitely the types of drag queens imitate, you know? Like they take all the crazy ones. It's like Liza. Share.

They're extreme enough for drag queens to love them, means that they're the funniest most extreme people in the world I mean those ladies just fucking kill me and I couldn't get enough of that new anshit. I was reading all the comments amazing Oh, and also something else big that happened was sickie quit. Oh yeah, I was of new job But we can hold on to that until our Jersey recap, which is coming up this Thursday, everybody. This Thursday. But for today, why don't we actually get into what we are here to do, which is talk about Vanderpump rules. My God, duh. Let's do it. Literally, seriously, really. Oh my god. Seriously? Literally? Literally? Seriously? Seriously? Literally? Literally? Seriously? Okay, pump rules. Pulling up my notes.

So nice to have this show back. I was definitely missing it. And this week it opens up with we see Katie and Shina sleeping on like a couch and Brittany is lying in bed because this is the aftermath of Brittany's like fuck you, Jack's party that she had with all the girls now. It's like the next morning and they're waking up hungover, etc. Shina is in some crazy get up. She's wearing these oversized periwinkle glasses and giant gold nails. Of course Shina would try and look smart by wearing the dumbest glasses ever. That's so Sina.

It's like no one can make that look smart, okay? She looked like she was accessorized by Mr. Potato Head. And we know it's going to be an episode about picking ourselves right back up off that ground and pulling ourselves up high to bootstraps because the song is when we fall we never mind mind mind when we fall we never cry cry cry when we fall we rise rise rise like please shut up what is this like a Republican commercial and then it cuts to Sina with her clear as the Tique and as pulling myself back up off the floor, which I fell on because she had left it right.

Yeah, so what does she know looking ridiculous? Like, is this the example of pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps? You pulled yourself up to sit right below the Baba sign. You know, this is not helping. I still can't see it. It's a giant. I'm not. It's like no, Shina.

It's just Baba over and over. You're the one. This is not a fake vision test. She's not. She know the Riveter. Yeah. So Katie tells us last night after the party, we took the party to Britney's because if Jack's tried to come home,

we would bar him because that's what these bitches do. a Britney's because if Jack's tried to come home, we would bar him because that's what these bitches do. Aren't you talking about hostesses or like new younger girls in you that happen to walk into the restaurant? She's like, you're fired. Yeah, exactly. I mean, this is really their skill set. This is the moment they've been waiting for is when they can all come together as like a Voltron of Banshe's and just keep Jack out of a room. It is very much, you know, with the last time they were referencing the craft and all sorts of cove and sort of things. And it is very much like we will bond together and you shall not pass. You shall not pass. Boy, boy, I'll bobble a trouble. Okay? That's something.

It's like, I went, Baba Treble. Okay. That's not okay. It's like, give me, give me, like, girls, I went home and Tom looked so handsome. And I told him he looks like he does wood working on the side. Well, that's a step up, because A is a job. But B, that's not really a compliment. Like, you look unshaven, dirty, and in old Navy. And you may have now, like, I'm a few splinters.

So I was like, that is such a sweet compliment, like literally so sweat, so sweat. And Katie's glasses game is also hilarious. She's wearing these tortoise shell glasses with diamonds. She's basically maxing from the cards. They, I almost feel like was part of their, their plan that they had to put on some, some mystical spectacles to see when

Jacks would be arriving. I can see his energy. You don't know when Jacks is arriving until you put on the special glasses. Minor oversize, Katie's our old lady. Katie's just seeing whatever she wants. They're like magical glasses where everything's positive now. She's like Tom, I went home and Tom looked like a hidden valley. I've never sucked him off that hard. It's like whoa you've got ranch under face. Jack's appears to her like just like some big bundle of iceberg lettuce in a Taco Bell sweatshirt. So speaking of Taco Bell Taco Bell's delivered to the house and she and it goes I just have to point this out because we're always saying she and I talk like a mop at and she literally made this sound she goes

She's no Yeah, it's like animal attacking a bus I love fire sauce. Yeah, we know I love fire sauce. Yeah, we know. We know, Brittany. She's like, ripping everything open with her mouth. It's like the memory of Kentucky beer cheese will never leave her mind. I was just going to say fire sauce, isn't that like code for Jackson, Steven?

It's all seeing it burns. It's like a light fire burns lighter. She wouldn't know what like me. So I'm so sorry. I just gave Brittany too much. I'm sorry. I took her to a really gross place. That no one really needed to think about. But it's like we can't stop, you know. We can't we can't we cannot stop ourselves. So she is like, does this mean you can still come to Vegas? We can't get out. We just Katie's like Tom slot now, you know. And she's like, the chat is full of love.

So I gotta go, I'm not going to get on my spare day. Who says not a private chat, not me. Hey. Oh. Oh. She's now fully filming at the mouth. Like Taco Bell, private chat, John's like, eyeglasses, she's not know what to do with herself.

She's like, can someone make this moment into a print of canvas? Ah. I want smart glares glasses, you know, starting at like, hot marriage scene on my closet. The only thing that would make this moment better is if we had one of each of the prime cocktails to taste. So Katie's like, um, I'm not going to go on that when I go on a private jet is because I chartered it, not because someone's sugar daddy you know who's married and they're like oh my god he's not married a separate

of her entire year i thought she looked like that i'm still mad about that he's simply on how i didn't know i didn't know he's me she's fully like now just she's in an ellen berson state from record for a dream. She's like, Baga, Baga, Baga, Baga, Baga, Baga. The refrigerator is like chopping at her. We had too much time off. It's like so, it's so much Cena intensity. I'm just so excited to have seen it in a scene again.

So Cena says that they weren't married. He'd been separated for two years, which is just a lie. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. I think it feels it feels like it feels like it feels like it. I don't know if I think of it. I don't believe it. And Katie's like, yeah, they were separated because of Lala. And she was like, really? I thought you learned your lesson. And Katie's like, you know what, guys? This is an important, sorry.

Yeah, even Katie was bored. She's like, I could start to go down this path, but even I don't care. You know, there's iceberg in the fridge, Taco Bell on our plates. Life is too short to be worrying about Lala. I'll worry about this when I'm done with my Dorito Shell taco. Anyway, woodworking, am I right?

Well, that means you smell right. Tom, maybe it wouldn't duck. Isn't that great? Please don't. They can't even center their friends Monica frame on the door. Please please don't start woodworking I know like the last thing last thing this apartment needs is a shabby frame for the Bubba poster or whatever it is Just just stick listen don't go chasing waterfalls Just stick to the non woodworking rivers and lakes that you're used to I won't be chasing waterfalls Learned that lesson Waterfalls waterfalls don't move like to. I won't be chasing waterfalls. Learn that lesson. My hand. My face is waterfalls. Waterfalls don't move like that.

I don't get it. I try chasing a waterfall once I'm almost drowned. I once went to Niagara Falls and I did not get aroused. By the way, Niagara Falls froze. Isn't that crazy? That's how cold it is in the country. I think that that happens though. It was crazy to see that.

I refuse to have that is my benchmark of of wonderment over a frigid Temperature I'm like not a false freezes. I'm okay with that. Okay. It's cool. I'm like it's amazing I'm like should I that don't impress me much okay? It's in it's like halfway in Canada it half of it's in Canada And I'm supposed to impress at a froze. No, I'm sorry Try again. No one ever gets Canada any try try try Try try again. Alright, like you're not gonna press me with with that, okay? Oh wow, let's see who's coming Oh wow, let's see who's coming here.

Oh, hello everyone. I'm here fresh from Palm Beach rehabilitation. I thought I would address the press to discuss my recent Christmas experiences. It was a difficult time for me and I want to thank you all for its support and thank you for knowing my music. Yes. I wanna thank you all for its support and thank you for knowing my music. Yes. I just wanted to say that, um, you know, it's been very difficult but I learned very important things from rehab. If you can keep a plant alive for one year, then you get a dog and if you can keep the dog alive, then you're ready to date. And I would like to say thank you to Sandra Bullock for getting me through this very difficult time. I would also like to apologize to...

Kajida, Tuesday as we know is Taka Tuesday and Dula Setsa is holding. I unfortunately wasn't there. So thank you Kajida for making the talk of the packers. I have a question! Alright, to the wench in the front row. Yes, go on From royalty to non royalty. I want to know Did you really go to rehab or just watch the film 28 days?

Oh quiet razzaville next question Yes to my best lady. Yes, made of honor. Oh next question Yes to my best lady. Yes made of army who may all those ham sandwiches and you guys know me and the light up with bluetooth like and what's the best Christmas house you've ever seen Well, I mean I can't believe That Bethany would attack me. Is that the question? I'm sorry. Next question.

Um, I have a question, I have a question, I have a question, I have a question, I have a question, I have a question. Oh, to my good friend Bethany Frankel. She, as we all know, is the woman who stole my idea of that skinny gold margaritas. Yes, love the hair, by the way. So, um, here's what I wanted to say. Remember that time that you made me drive all the way out to the Hamptons to like have lunch and then you made me buy it Do you remember that? Uh, I'm not familiar, but please go on with your grudge. Yes Well, you did. I'd like to introduce you to my friend Karma. She's real bitch. Uh, you guys are getting along great. Okay. Thanks

You deserve it Would you believe it? She's being nasty to me. Had my own press conference. Me! Countess Luando is up. A rude. I would like to take this final moment to remind you all that I still do have an upcoming cabaret. Entitled.

Ex-a-la-Francei. Ex-a-la-Francei. TomTom, not TomTom. Who cares it's me, Luan? Uh, excuse me. I got a question for you. I bit of a... I got a question over here. Alright there, alright there. Alright there, you little twiggy, bleedy, sad sack of a lonely person.

What can I do for you? Alright, alright, alright, okay, here's a question. Another question please. First, two-pot. First question. What's the matter? Second question, what's going on? Oh, and now your assistants are here.

Did you need them for something? Why would you call your assistants to my press conference? Seriously, if I have to listen to one and I put him any longer, it's just like coming out. The last thing I need, you know what I like to do? I like to go to Niagara Falls, ice skating, and just fall off the cliff, okay? Because it's frozen over, and I'll say,

you know what else, it's over, it's over, help. Because you know what, I'm here, and I don't even care. I don't know. Oh wow, this news. You got to you got to love the news for reminding us what's important throughout the day. Yeah absolutely absolutely. I'm glad I'm glad we're able to cash that it was it was very important. We have to keep an eye on that that press conference because it's just I feel like we're there's all sorts of non-bombs shells coming out you know. Yes. Countess and N CNN. Yeah, the Countess News Network. Countess

News Network with a live update. Hello, this is Countess Nuen, I'm going to kill you all, but not before this ad. Would you believe it, girls? We have an ad. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. By the way, another side thing.

Did you read about Andy Cohen? I didn't watch Andy Cohen, but did you watch Andy Cohen for New Year's with Anderson Cooper? No, but I was at a party where it was playing outside and I was outside, or it was playing at and I was outside smoking, of course. And my friend Jessica came out and she goes, um, Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper, I'm sorry, no.

Yeah. So that's the review I heard. He has been getting thrashed online. Like it was trending on Twitter how how how much he was thrashed I didn't see it but apparently social media was like bring back a fee Griffin and he was terrible people were hating him What were they saying? I guess he was promoting housewives a lot. I don't know I don't know I don't know I actually don't even know what they were saying, but there were all these articles that came out Talking about how Social media did not like Andy Cohen.

Oh, well that's gotta be hard because he's like the king of his own little world, but it is a little world, you know? It is, so far. I met so many people on that boat, and I was like, do you watch Bravo? And they just looked at me like, okay, we gotta, we gotta flame her over here.

Yeah. Someone bring out the fire extinguuishes someone's flaming over here You know some people just maybe they just don't work in certain roles like you know Neil Patrick Harris bombing at the Oscars everyone loved Neil Patrick Harris and he goes the Oscars. It's like Yeah, yeah, we're not all built for everything, you know like I can't be an accountant I'd be fired in two minutes. Yeah, like I couldn't be a party planner Or I couldn't even be a partner in the bar with Lisa Vanderpump perhaps In an old Dildeshot speaking of which we then go to Villa Rosa

We're back with Vanderpump rules. We're in Villa Rosa and look. It's hanky hanky and a pint in the Thank you something around in the pond hanky darling It's hanky and banky in the same shot. Don around in the pond, Yankee darling. It's Yankee and Yankee in the same shot. Don't ask me how we did it. It's cold following the path of love, darling. Winged migration to the Yankee and Yankee story. So they're going to Vannarpomps to... Tom and now make sure that they're, yeah, make sure they're Tom, Tom to illustrate up because I think they messed it up when they were over her talking shit from table 7 Yes

Where Kim and Lisa was spying. I don't totally understand the storyline because I always feel like every week they resolve it and then every week They're like, oh man Ken and Lisa are still mad at us. I'm like is this Farrow whose heart is being turned to still again after every plague I don't I don't get what's happening. Yeah, I think that they just filmed different versions like maybe it could be nervous at the gay pride parade and Long Beach and maybe you can be nervous now. And you know, we'll just use the best shape. And then like then they got picked up. Yeah, they got picked up for 24 episodes. Their season got doubled and they were like, Oh, let's just use them all.

Yeah. So Ken, well, so Tom and Tom, like they park their car and they are giving themselves a pep talk. And while they're giving themselves a pep talk before meeting Ken and Lisa, we see Ken and Lisa lying, like reclining in chairs and they're wearing pretty much matching outfits. They're both wearing light blue shirts and dark pants.

And his or hers sweaters wrapped around their shoulders. His is like blue hers is pink. They looked like country club Scientologists. Yeah, they looked like either an insure commercial or like the cover of a time share brochure. I expected a hot air balloon to float around in the background. Murder. She sits solving mystery from a deck chair. a hot air balloon to float around in the background. Murder, she sits.

Solving mystery from a deck chair. For example, we know that they're here because we heard the gate open. Now they might have gotten lost between the gate and the backyard. That's possible. Or the neighbor did it. Which I'll never believe. Or they're just choking and having some trots. Some nervous trots.

Yeah, at least it was very committed to the power move because she wasn't ever gonna get up and actually look for them She was like no, they must come to me. I don't greet them at the door like I would with winner or stassy They must come to me Look I will them here again Trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot trot Trot Trot Trot Trot Trot Trot Trot I say no to his trot because I have a horse So Lisa Lisa's like Lisa starts Talking about when the kids not the kids the Tom and Tom come in I'm like the kids the kids are here So the kids are all right

Yeah, so Tom and Tom finally come in oh Oh, you made it through. I was afraid you got lost I didn't want to get up because we're matching so nicely We weren't lost we were practicing our choreographed dance to M&M's lose yourself one more time before we came in here Yeah, I like listen to it like three times. Yeah, Bob. I listen to it two times Oh M&M, never eat them. So, tell me about this Dildo shop where we're up. Are you confident you can be decent partners? Or are you little wussy pussy-change purses?

Yeah, Lisa suddenly, she starts getting very hung up on this idea of negativity. She's like, now I was all in until I heard from table seven over a table six. All you saying all these things and I suddenly got scared when I saw your negativity. I'll tell you one thing. I don't have a plan for negativity in my Lisa Vanderbomb. And I'm lop. When they finally come in, she's like, oh, you naughty pair. And she's pouring tea for herself at a flick of tea pot. I mean, come on.

She really should. Come on. It's just so her. Come on. It's just so her. She's like, I've waited to pour this tea because tea is in negativity. But I don't want you to have any part of. I'm pouring it because Rosalau also seems to be missing and having nervous trots.

So upon my own tea, I suppose that when you too listen to lose yourself or combine five times, you also lost yourself in my estate. Is there a song you can listen to cold? Find myself? That would help. That would help. She's sorry. The problem with Tom is that he's brought nothing to the table except negativity and not tea. Well, when you forge a relationship and a partnership, it's a family. I saw negativity. I got worried. If Rosie of Stode negativity, I would have taken Pandora out of her oven and buttered new circuit. Darling, you can't be family members with negative party.

But you can quench your thirst with honest tea. Delicious. That spelled honest. Tea. Do you get it? Do you get it? Or are you having a nervous trot about it? So she's like that person that so offended you tried to haggle over a bracelet like when you're in a flea market She raised the price because first it was a hundred grand right? And she's like I want you a hundred percent in which will now cost you

$120,000 And I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and the dude. So, it was a gift. I just pulled any old number out of my old English ass. This is a gift to them. It's not a gift when you're paying for. It's like Merry Christmas. Here's a gem membership that you have to pay for. Yeah, exactly. I mean, she's right. To open up a restaurant will probably cost more

than $1.2 million. But, you did, that is, it is kind of funny, like you said, that they're like, we want you to be partners. Now give us $240,000. That's a lot. That's a steep partnership. And Tom's like, yeah, but what about sweat equity? Because that's what I'll bring to it sweat.

Well, that sounds appetizing, Tom. Tom, I didn't see you sweating at all, actually. I had some other talks, like I don't sweat on my face Now I sweat weird places like my butt crack. I have an ankle sweat right now Dude, I really get sweaty sweat tea. Did you say you're not bringing the tea to the table? That's what I hear So then so then Ken and Lisa lean into each other and start you know Whispering and I was like oh this is like shark tank and then Tom shorts Oh gosh, this is almost like an episode of Shark Tank. I was like, damn it.

Diggy Tank. Diggy Tank. Palmarinean bootled in a sweat to tank. So they're trying to haggle. And Tom twos like, um, what about 80 grand? How about that? So you're either in or you're out. Uh, can I pay with like hidden valley ranch packets that come from magazines? We have a lot of those around. Do you want some free underwear that match your socks?

Because I can get that working for you. So if I may, they agree on some deal where they, each guy's gonna pay 50,000 for five percent. And then Lisa literally goes, Oh, I'm asking for, is enthusiasm and positivity? And 50,000 dollars. She's like, well, they all I need is positivity.

And they both turned the green tea corner. Drunkenly, both smell like fireball and jack sweat. Where were you last night? Jack cheated again. So they shake on it, and then almost a time and time souls just disappear until Lisa's been all envelope. There, I have you now, my darlings. You have 24 hours to meet your love, or else, I will have you forever.

Marty language. Now you are experiencing invisibility. You poor unfortunate restaurant partners. Tom Tom. So next let's go back to the Taco Bell Covent. So they're all Don't come. So, next, let's go back to the Taco Bell Coven. So they're all... Taco Bell Coven.

That's exactly their name. From the cheer on, going forward, when the girls all get together, they have a Taco Bell Coven. Yes, yes. Run for the po-da! So they're all sitting around on the couch. And Stasi's like, do you feel better because you can't be mad when you're eating talk about? You can't be.

GBCM's progress. Sorry, what are you gonna do about Jax? And Jax is there. Yeah. So Jax walks in and he immediately starts to have a tantrum. He starts saying all this crap about how it's his apartment or whatever and they all have to leave, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I love Katie's response. She's like, she's like, Jack's, I'm sorry. We were peacefully eating talk about and you walked in with like attitude.

And Brittany's like, you better go! You better get outta here before I find something else that rhymes with sad man and bad. Okay? Clam, does that rhyme? Is that rhyme? Because the B sort of looks like a D, but backwards. You better leave, but I'm going to turn you into a slap. Damn it, I found one!

So you better leave before I turn you into a barnacle. Oh, that doesn't rhyme at all. Glee is, what is a barnacle? Damn it, I found one! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe She's made up. Rar-a-al. It's like a barnacle. It's like glasses she found in a barn. It's a barnacles. I love that. Oh my god. The side of my- oh my god. The side of my abdomen just seized up. It made me laugh so hard.

Oh my god. I have my camera. Charlie horse. Charlie horse. Oh, I ride horses. You're not in the scenery, aren't you? I ride horses too. Neither are you, Teddy. You're not in the scenery, Ana. I ride horses too, neither are you, Teddy. You're not even on the show. But I do like this because anybody

have a horse like in borrow, you're right. So, anyway, so Jack's is being a real dick, and he's like, this is my home, this is my home, which is bullshit, it's both of their homes, and just because it's your home doesn't mean anything. You lost the right to your home when you cheated on your beautiful girl. And then, and then Jack's starts doing this

mind-fucker-y to her. He's like, this isn't even the end of the world. You're not even that devastated. I mean, you've been partying. So obviously it's not a big deal that I cheated on you. The staff is like, that is so fucked up. Hey, Jack. Jack's.

She's like joining in doing the ex-girlfriend yelling and he's like dude and Brittany cuz I have fed you a thousand times So you know I had to learn how to make a sandwich I'll learn to make a ham sandwich for you So you know how hard it is for me every single day eating meals on that picnic bench in our dining room We don't need a back support What sort of man gets a picnic bench and says it's a dining room set and I have to deal with out to smile and say I'm okay with it Because you say it's your house. I am not okay with it jacks. I want real chairs Drinks her name is all the late sounds I have

I roll in favor for the plaintiff. God, Sheena. What does a really boring fight? A plain tiff, but just like, let's like, saw boring, like, who cares? Uh, Jackson's like, look, do I want to hear this? Yes, I want to hear it from Brittany, but I don't want to hear it from Davorso, Sheena, her hidden valley rams Katie, her stossi, who's been kicked off every dating site ever.

I love that Sheena's ex-man name is Davorso. That's like her superpower. That's what she wears the glasses. That's part of her costume. She was actually half way in her costume Importantly by the way in the middle of this is that Britney gets a bit slapping jack starts like kicking him out of the apartment She's like you get out you get out. I am flivid And Stasi's like well some people deserve to get beat So I'm all for it. So jacks is like just talk to me. She's like I'll tell you I go crazy

I have one hand I'm going ham on your ass He's like it was one time it was one time it was one time Yeah, right So then he I mean he I think Jackson is really fucked up. He starts saying you know It's all because of those girls. I like I'll talk with her one-on-one as you were saying I'll talk with her one-on-one, but not with the girls round It's all because of those girls. I like, I'll talk with her one on one, as you were saying. I'll talk with her one on one, but not with the girls around. It's all because of those girls.

Everything was fine before those girls came over, which to me is like classic, emotional abuse, one on one, right? Isolating someone from their friends, like, you can only trust me. Those girls get in your head. What you're thinking is in what you really should be thinking. It's your friends, but those thoughts in your head.

Isn't that classic? It's classic Scooby-Doo. It's like the end. I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those damn meddling kids. Yeah, you're right. Well, Jackson's learned everything he knows in life from Scooby-Doo, you know. Idiot. It's like the problem wasn't to crime. It was the getting caught. He's so stupid. Yeah, so the palms are back in their car celebrating to funk, which is hilarious. It's like, well, that song was that's Tom song. That's Tom's end of all song from member like Liz to look. It's from what's what's the name of his band again? It's like Wall Street bandango, refrigerator.

Fandango is his band 777 film. What's the news band white 100 M.A. Curious movie phone Hey welcome to movie phone bro Dude there's a great movie on it 7 It's the post Dude you ever wonder you ever wonder about newspapers? It's like the post is on it 7 o'clock dude

The post I Don't get it. What's it after? It's just called the post the post what no, it's just a Hey, I have a question. What is the shape of water? Have this water have a shape doesn't it just take on the shape of anything is that the way liquids work? I Know that X-Wabin. I understand the last Jedi, but who is the first Jedi?

Oh, the real Luke Skywalker is all pissed. He's like, this is not how Luke Skywalker would really do it. Like, shut up, Mark Amble. You don't know what the fuck Luke Skywalker would do. You were reading the lines. How do you walk on the sky anyway? don't you why should I care about three billboards so the tom's during their car listing to Tom Tom's song and Ariana is on the speaker phone and he's like, well, well, we're officially partners with Leasing Can. I'm like, no, you're not officially. You didn't sign shit. She shook your hand, okay?

Do I need to do everything for you people? So meanwhile, Acadian Stasi continue their epic arc for this episode, which is, let's see how many couches we can sit on. And they're sitting on a couch. And they're like, look, we've changed positions, and maybe our tops, but we're still on a couch. And they're talking about how excited they are for Guillermo's party. And so the Tom's walking into celebrate. And Acadia's really excited because it's,

well they're all excited because Tom Schwartz, this is his first big boy thing he's ever done. Having an investment and Katie's really excited. She's like, yes, there is a future for our marriage, which yes, like look, my husband has kind of a job. This is a win for both of us. Late ambition, it's so exciting. And Tom number two is like,

Baba, I met this dude on Craigslist, and now we have a business. You also get hand jobs all the time. Thank you, Craigslist. Thank you. I also accidentally rented a apartment that doesn't exist. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. So Katie's like, it's good news for me. Pevidal.

I just learned that word. It's a convenient narrative. Yeah, that's what a convenient pevidal. Oh, 5%. Oh, I've wrote Tom Tuesday's like, Yeah, and now we're at the top 5%. Steve, but I like when Stasi is like, oh my God, planning this party. I didn't realize I was a sots of compulsive.

And so I'm not really sure if it's fixed 27 toothpicks. No, maybe she's just not into like internet self diagnosis. I don't know. I know everything that I have. Hey, Bob, why are the lights flickering in here? Oh, it's not the lights flickering. I just have to turn the lights on and off 12 times before I enter any room. Oh my god. Do yourselves a favor and don't drop a box of toothpicks. Because I swear to God I will dust and Hoffman your ass. Please don't touch this napkin setup I have because Taco Bell is arriving and I refuse to get any of the furniture dirty.

Do you want to sit on the tea towel? No, Katie. We have a lot left over. No. You know, it turns out that these actually don't clean up anything. They found a serious loss. Sorry. Get somebody say tea towel. That's all I want. Tea towel. I want. T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T that we like to call Mason jars. Mason also happens to be the name of a new bartender. It's a, it's like Wesley Mason Jefferson. Where are these names coming from? Hamilton.

Hamilton. We just had to cash in on the Hamilton excitement by hiring a bartender, but a bartender named Hamilton. Hello and welcome to Sir. a bartender named Hamilton. Hello and welcome to Sir. My name is Alexander Hamilton. It's Alexander Hamilton. It's Alexander. It's like, okay, just take my drink order, please sir. Our new waiter, La Foyette, will help you to your seat. So, Ariana is packing with Sina for Vegas. So Ariana is packing with Sina for Vegas. And this is a classic reality show set up.

One person packing while the other one watches, which never happens in real life. Yeah, it's exactly. It's like a typical housewife scene. Lisa's like, we don't have anything to do to fill the rest of this show. Have you done a packing montage? Well, this is the same executive producer as the hills. I don't know

if you ever knew that, but this is the same executive producer. And I really feel like the hills pioneered the scene of someone packing while someone else watches board. So it's really a call back to the hey day of MTV. Yeah. So Ariana is like the Porsche of this scene just watching board. Yeah. And she's like, you know, I really didn't want to go to that party, but I am sad I didn't get to see Brittany go southern ham on jacks. Violent isn't the answer. Neither is ham really. I mean, who eats that? Although it can be delicious. So Lala comes in, she's like, Oh my God! Lala, lala! She's like, I've been choosing so my summer body is flaky, decay.

Yeah. So nice to have Lala back, socializing with them. So Lala's there and talking about this private gel whatever and she's like, private her first class is how Lala flies. That's just like how Lala does it. That's how Lala does it. And if we crash, I don't need a lifeboat.

I need my mama. I need my mama. I mean, everyone knows, everyone can fly private. I mean, if you're not ugly and you have a pair of tits, you're going to be able to fly on a private jet. She was like, you won't believe that I was flying by with her. I was at the beer cheese party. And then like, Brittany totally hit Jacks like this.

Brock! She looks like she's in a cartoon version of a carnival where they give you that giant hammer to hit that little thing. She's like, Brock! I feel like if we ever got here from the whammy side of the story, I'm pressing your luck, it would be Sheena. Sheena's just like a whammy. No whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy,

no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, It's like, Ray is the judge law law because she fucked a fact guy to get a private judge, but now that we've actually met him, we know how hard her job is. And so like, it's like totally respectable now. It's like when you catch a garbage man in the middle of the night,

and you're like, that's hard of a my thought. I mean, law law does her, Nate. She climbs that mound of cross-side flesh every night that she's required to. She deserves it. She deserves a private jet. Yes. I mean she'll probably end up with like you know that extra 15 dollars to base Southwest for boarding group A but it's my set for now. She's getting her private jet flights Yeah, I agree you know It's funny because our band of front rules episodes have been so long and I wonder they're so long, and I think they're so long because I write notes

about every stupid shit. I wrote down a note of Shina saying, we can carpal because we're fellow neighbors, Tawala. There's nothing funny about that. Yes, there is. We're fellow neighbors that doesn't even make any sense. It's funny about Shina and Lala carpooling. That's kind of a funny thing.

I imagine like singing songs together and taking selfies and then crashing. It's kind of a funny thing. I imagine like seeing songs together and taking selfies and then crashing. It's like tunes is the driving cat. I also love that they're doing the cheapest way to go to the airport where they're gonna be flying private. Like, you're not even gonna take an Uber. It's like, let's save some money.

Yeah. Yeah. So Sheena's sister is like, Hey Lala, so I was hanging out with Katie and she made like a comment about your man and she was like, oh, the private jet, is that like, is that like the married man's private jet? So of course this starts off well with her because Lala, she's like, oh my god, like, literally, like, I thought she, I can't believe she talked about that man. Like, are you trying to get popped?

Or you're trying to get along? I'm like, okay, Lala settle down. Yeah, okay, yeah All right straight out of Utah, you know, like let's just relax here. I love that when she gets mad She's like oh really he was married. Where did she what did she read that like I'm on the internet? Like Lala is so disgusted that someone would read things Yeah, oh, I guess that came from reading you trying to get popped by me. I'm so ganks I have large hoop earrings and I have a dress that has my face on it. You're trying to get popped by me. I'm tough I'm tough. I I've listened to rap music once

I'm tough. I'm tough. I I've listened to rap music once. And Lolo tells us last year they labeled me as someone who ruined a home. Okay. I've never ruined a home. If anything I enhance it and like raise the property value by being in it. Okay. I'm not flipper flop. I'm flipper flip. Okay. It's all flip. All flip. My show is just called flip. Slop is my boyfriend. And he's not on the show. Are you trying to get flopped or popped? That's my show.

Lala gets flopped. It's popped by a flop. So last year they labeled me as a whore. Okay, garbage talk. And Lala was like, I mean, oh, they showed the scene of them talking at the garbage when Lala was like, Katie, you're calling me a whore. And Katie's like, you're sleeping with a man for money.

So like, truth, you know what's a lie? That when teaspoon of hidden belly has 60 calories, okay, that's a lie. The way too low for something that delicious. Well, I think that, like, I think the flashback was Lala saying, I don't know why you're always coming after me. And Katie's like, hmm, like, all I said was that you're a whore. So if that's me coming after you, so I guess I came after you, but you are, I call it like

a sea of something like that. I was just like hilariously deft. So anyway, so Lala, you know, she's rather than just being rolling her eyes at this stupidity, she's like, fine, I'm gonna come back at her. So guess what, Tom Schwartz cheated on Katie in New York, he was there there they were at What's it called it was like? Greenhouse or whatever that night is called and and they're like whoa changes like And I was like yeah my friend Ali she called me and was like, yeah, my friend Ali, she called me and was like, La, oh my God. And I'm like, I love that. La la has to be short into law.

Isn't La la already a short version of something else? Like Louise or something? Is La la is real name Louise? I would like that. Also, La is a word and scrabble. If anybody needs that, a two letter word. Believe it or not, I discovered that on the boat when I was arguing with my mother.

It was a proud moment. La, so oh my God. You're a war. And then they show her, they show her having lunch with law. And law's like, oh my God. Law. I'm sorry, you're a friend. We made out. Just like, well, I think you're showing us the exact same thing you just narrated. Yeah. I guess I love how there's always, there's always some random Yeah, I guess I love how there's always there's always some random Lady who brings scandal to this right last seat last last year was juji dear before that was Ellie Ali Ali trying to take over Tom Tom if I if you sip any more tea of the negative, I shall give this restaurant to Ali Ali.

Lala, this is Ali Ali, this is Lala, Lala, this is Ali, this is Lala and Ali, Ali, this is Lala and Ali. And this is also Ali. And Lala, this is Gigi. Gigi, this is Ali and Ali and Lala. Lala, this is Gigi, Gigi, meet Lala. I hope you all get along with Wesley, Jefferson and Hamilton. Lala, Fiat.

Lala, Fiat? I'm sorry, is there someone named Fiat and also Lala who referring to his law or is it someone just named Lala Fiat? Lala Fiat, but I'm not opposed to hiring someone named Lala or Fiat. Let's have a meeting about it by the big refrigerator. Oh, George Washington. Joe's like, I, I can be a Renaissance.

You don't need the name. You're just Joe, right? You don't need a fancy waiter name, Joe. So the big scandal here is that Tom was wasted at bungalow in New York City and he started calling Ali Baba. Not Ali Baba. Ali, she was calling Ali the name Baba. It's like me and Baba are drunk and they can't get wish.

Wish is. I like that he gets so drunk that he just starts thinking everyone's Katie. Sorry. Baba. You probably made out with a statue also. Baba. Sorry. Why are you giving me the silent treatment?

Baba. Baba. She tasted like ranch. What was I supposed to think? So Arianna's like, um, hi. I'm the only one smiling in the beginning of the show and then spilling champagne all over the entire bar. So I'm going to be the one the beginning of the show and then spilling champagne all over the entire bar.

So I'm going to be the one that tells him because this is crazy and she deserves to hear it from shorts, not the Lala male. I don't want Katie to get popped by accident. Popped by law. So Stasi goes over to the vendetta pump, Villa Ravsa home of Hanky and Pinky and Squirrel and Dirl and Lala, babajiji. Candy and pandi. Kakka. Oh. Rosio and Bocio. No, CEO, get here. Father, she told me Rosio's missing. Stasi does that thing that every poor person who asked

to go visit someone in the Hollywood Hills or the Beverly Hills does, which is, oh my God, I always get lost coming here. Like seriously, how do you remember how to get home? Because this is ridiculous. Like what are you doing in case of emergency? Like you're just stuck on this hill. Like what are you going to do? We're all going to die.

We're all going to die. Because it's basically a compliment. Like you live so high up and so removed from the rest of us that it's almost impossible to find you. Yeah, the richer you are, the more confusing the path is to your house, okay? It's so hard to find shit up there. And Vanderpump's like,

darling, it's just a hill, then it turn, a U-turn, driving over a hill, around the tree under the construction, trying to down a hill, up a hill, over the hill, around the tree under the construction, flying down a hill, up a hill, over the hill, around the big house on top, and then a straight little flight down to the bottom. And don't forget to wave at age him,

lives burnt down ruins across the street from my old place. So Lisa, this was interesting. I felt like Lisa was really sending a message because she was wearing black, but she was sitting in a shaggy white chair. So I was like, am I the white swan or the black swan? What will you do Stasi, the challenges upon you? Or a black and white cookie?

Will she take my hint and bring that little bit of Jewish happiness to your most party? Oh, I want in a pot. It's a little personal touch. That's all you have to do Stasi and also pick up a cake at the dry cleaning and get the I want to feel personal which is why he's having his party at work like come on Yeah, like there's nothing more that's the saddest thing I've ever heard It's like when my mom used to throw my birthday parties at the bowling alley that we owned I was like I work in that snack bar. Can we please at least go to a park? So Lisa Vanderpump gives to us a her her black card and she's like there's no limit except for you you're $35

except for you, you have $35. So the song is like tonight, it's tonight, it's tonight, oh, tonight. So congratulations to whoever booked that contract. Well, there was, there did used to be a song on the radio. There's a tonight is the night is the night is the night. So it's really not that far from what's top 40. Do you remember that song? Yes The night is the night That's tonight is the night is the night. This is the other one. I'm sorry about is tonight is tonight It's been just a different tonight is the night is tonight. It's tonight

No, no, no, there are always two-different night. There's some lazy ass songwriters who just say tonight, over and over again. There's Phil Collins tonight, tonight, tonight. Oh, I'm gonna make it right tonight, tonight, tonight. Oh, got some in my pocket. Okay, anyway. I will not go down. I was actually I was actually not joining in singing a cuz I don't really know it

And then be because I was looking at the recipe for Jimmy jury because shorts was like Um, I'll take the Jimmy jury, but can I get it with no onions? And I was like isn't our onions inury? Guess what everybody they're not really oh? I was only listening to what he ordered. I thought maybe he ordered a chimichango, but I guess was a chimichury Either way, they got my guacamole they got fried molly which was sort of bizarre and even they were like whoa because it was shorts and jacks at lunch and They were just like hang out. I don't know what they didn't leave Jack.

Basically, Jackson's like, well I agreed to not come to Guillermo's party because like, you know, all the girls are gonna be there and they're like, you know, trying to ruin my life. But yeah, we're gonna be okay, you know, we're gonna be okay. And he's like, just give her a minute, give her more time or fire sauce, she loves that.

Maybe you should uh... think about having an open relationship that way you can make it with girls in New York city at bungalow and you call them about a two i mean not that i would know gosh on and and jax is like hell no she'd rather seen me torn apart by wolves didn't fuck other people in hollywood it's called keeping

oh sorry good no you don't wolves, then fuck other people in Hollywood. It's called keeping. Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, you do. I was just going to say it's called keeping the disease contained. Like Britney's just about public health. Okay. He's like the center for disease control. She's all about the CDC. So then, um, but it's also a quarantine. She's like, she's just like, oh my God, party planning is hard AF. I have to get flowers and then a camera and then go pick up a cake all before 6 p.m. You couldn't have done that yesterday. It's not totally how I do it. I've waited until little last second.

And then she's talking on the speaker phone and she goes, holy shit. How do people work every day like this? I don't understand. I'm like, saucy. You used to be a waitress. So then she's like setting up for the party and Christina Kelly's back

and she's there to make saucy nervous She's basically like wow like I hope you don't totally fuck it up tonight. It's not so she's like How do you turn on a camera She was playing with that little pole roared the same one cadence my knees got for Christmas They were so excited. They're like oh my god actual physical pictures come out. This is a miracle It's so weird That's fast he's like I um, I didn't get batteries. What a fucking idiot. They it comes with the battery. I know this. I just watch one get open.

There's literally a pavilions up the street from you. Just go and get a battery. Yeah, there's cave villains up there. Go with the villains. By the way, and that but I ran had a big rant about pavilions and the bonus episode the pavilions over there is awesome that's an amazing pavilions but the one that I've talked about shitty if you live in Los Angeles never ever ever go to the pavilions I'm not Rosenvine unless possibly you want to see Beyonce's mom there they're like why did our sales go through the roof this week can't believe this we're like why did our sales go through the roof this week? Can't believe this we're like fiance Let's at least get a percentage. Why did the sales go up at the numbers and buying pavilions

It's like our worst one in the entire franchise. It's just such a shitty shitty supermarket Why would anyone go with their oh Beyonce's mom was there? Oh, okay never mind. I get it I think it's proof that Beyonce puts her mom on an allowance I there. Oh, okay, never mind. I get it. I think it's proof that Beyonce puts her mom on an allowance. I think it's proof that the villains doesn't know what they're doing. They have the Beyonce's mom shopping there. Okay, they need to up their game. I want to see Beyonce's mom do self-check out, okay? I don't want her to be in a pavilion. I want to see her like working the scanner at Target. Now how do I scan this up? I don't actually know. Don't have any negativity, Ms. Nose. You can't have nose without the

no. Okay, so, um, let's party. Giermo's birthday party is like, yeah, I'm at work. Giermo, so Giermo and his wife, Natalie, there was some discussion about who is Natalie? Well, Natalie was there. G Guillermo, he really liked who's played by Diana Yes, Guillermo really likes to be the birthday boy, huh? Did you notice he was like I am a the birthday boy I'm the birthday boy. Oh, I walk in is unbirthday boy. It's my party Birthday boys wave ride suits. I could do it So Stasi is like in the kitchen. She's like okay okay, Chef Joe are the apps ready AF or not? And he's like, yeah see cabbage soup for everyone

She's like everything needs to be pretty a sh**. Oh, that's easy. I serve the lentil soup Like why did all the food look like shit Joe? Yeah, so! So this is actually when the Polaroid camera thing happens and they get it working and basically people are taking pictures and it's like a little guest book and Lisa Vanopomp is like, I love that Stasi took my advice and added a personal component Polaroid photos and a guest book, what a novel idea She did it. I told you that girl was full of wit Wow You know what next time I'm

Just leave it wow That's Fired by Hamilton being here, and I'm not gonna throw it Being a part of water my name is Alan center Hamilton batch. I'm so sick. I'm scared by Hamilton being here and I'm not gonna throw it in my channel. I'm being a party planner. My name is Alexander Hamilton Batch. I'm a party planner because I want to be at the room where it happens. Okay, the room where it happens. I-F.

White suit AFA, Stasi. So Tom too shows up in a new hairstyle which I't seen, and I hope it doesn't catch on. He's only got middle bangs. Okay. He's okay. He's got bangs on either side of his head. And then in the center, it's like that fohawk bang, like where it's up. But then on the on either side, he has bangs.

It's very, very inverted, inverted, um, flakas Eagles haircut. Yes. It, it disturbed me. I was like inverted, inverted um, flakasegles haircut. Yes. It disturbed me. I was like, was he woodworking it again? Who comes up with that hair? And then Brittany meanwhile, they're like, oh hey Brittany, and she's like, I just want everyone to know, I'm not going to be talking about Jack anymore because I really need to figure things out for myself.

I need to talk about it right now, get some of her real estate, but I'm not going to talk it with you guys because I have to just think about it for myself. I'm like no Jack told you not to talk to the girls. That's exactly. Yeah and you also don't want to admit that you fucked him five minutes before you came to work. Yeah but they're so cruel. What is what is Kristen even doing here still? Why? Like why is she even here? Okay you don't have a job you don't have anything to say. All she does is like rolling around and everyone else is misery. So Stasi's like,

so that's why she's there. Just for makeup model. The question, you answered it for yourself. All she does is roll around and other people's misery. That's why she's there. Perfect casting, I take it back. Welcome back, Kristi.

So Stasi's like, doesn't Britney's makeup not make, wait, does, does her makeup not make her look like a Victoria's secret model, which is like such an odd way to phrase it. And Chris and goes, yeah, a Victoria's secret model that just found out her boyfriend cheats. And for me, like, I'm mad. I'm saying I'm mad. I'm saying, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired,'s more of this wonderment like, it's been great hanging out with Jacks ever since we've been to things app. And so I'm going to show him how to, how to roll with JK Rowling, who wrote Harry Potter.

What a book, what a story, invisibility click, format. I was a little surprised that Harry Potter was not about someone who could work with Clay. Anyway, I saw that you have absent on the menu, and we'll have two shots of this, please. So they start doing shots because that's how you party with JK and they're like choking, et cetera. So then we go back to serve for the party and the cake comes

out. And Arianna's brother is walking right in front of the cake. Like he got there late and everyone's cheering for him and he's like, oh my God, I'm finally interesting on this show. And then he's like, damn it, I was being followed by the birthday cake. He's like, I'm finally cast members. Is this like my coronation ceremony?

I'm finally gonna be in the credits. Hi everyone, it's a cake. It's a clean him. Move him to the side, please. It's like when someone waves at you and you wave back and you realize they're a waving at someone behind you. Yeah, it's like me sitting in the Baja fresh under the TV thinking I look so hot that day and realizing everybody's looking at the TV right up up my head. So then there's toast to Guillermo and Guillermo is like, oh, I want to think, that's not even how it sounds.

Just such an offensive thing. He's like, I want to thank all the, you know, 12 years ago who would have thought we would have this mediocre restaurant that we have today. And here we have Firecoachies, balls, Cabbage Soup, what a wonderful world. And you know what, Tom and Tom, you guys are the next ones.

Here's to Tom and Tom, never getting a day off because he partnered with the Vandorpumps in an ex-Zedlo store. Okay? Cheers. And I am happy to announce that as of today, I only have $80,000 left to pay on my debt to the initial partnership. I'm making $5 a month off of my 2% that I bought it. Apparently, if I do not pay by tomorrow, I lose money caps. It's a constant threat in my life, but at least tonight, I have cake. So, Ariana's like, um, me to talk to you. Me to talk to you in middle foe hawk side bangs. He's like okay so they go out to the he takes her out to the garbage hall. Meanwhile Katie is talking to Vanderpump and Vanderpromp's like how is Mrs. Schuarty? She's like great I'm the wife of a partner like pivot okay full pivot. It's normally a convenient narrative it's a welcome one too

Okay, full pin. It's not only a convenient narrative. It's a welcome one too. And outside Tom too goes, boop! He lets out a huge burp and this is on the heels of him having just said that he has lots of charm. He's like, what's up? Uh, an area on this like, uh, gotta rip this bandaid off. God, how do I do this? Just gotta do it? I'm gonna do it. I don't know if I should do this. No, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it How should I say it? I'm gonna use the same amount of time to so that he doesn't really realize what I'm saying So maybe it'll make a map, but maybe it won't but he'll remember that it hurts like a bandaid. You know what I mean Let's see. Let's see. Let me just how should I I, how should I, well this is a very serious moment so let me just think about sketch comedy. Okay. Okay. Serious sketch comedy. All right. So basically Lala told me that you got drunk in New York City and made out with her friend and called

her Bubba and you should know that you did that. And shorts' response is not to be like, no, that's crazy. What? No, that didn't happen. He's like, hmm, no, it couldn't have been. I don't know. Yeah, it's like, could you be more specific? I want to make sure what crime I'm about to commit to or confess to you. Could you tell me the date, maybe? I don't write this shit down in my eye call. Okay. All every day in my eye call says Tom Tom. That's it. Well, it says, uh, well, I've been on this show long enough. I should just skip the denial phase. Let's just get into the plausible deniability phase. I just don't know. You heard about faith, right? So, Ariana's like, it's actually a friend of lawala, which I love how everybody says Lala.

She's like, it's actually a friend of Lala. Lala. And he's like, January or February, I don't think I would have cheated on those months. It's cold, those are cold months. And she's like, were you up for love? Only spaceful to her in Chinese New Year's. Ah.

He's like, whenever I see a paper dragon, I totally lose my boner. So it kind of been then. Firecrackers really make me go soft. I just called her dumpling. There's no time for sex. We can have so many fortune cookies, am I right? Mm-hmm.

She's like, did you go to bungalow? He's like, yeah, but I don't remember. She says, okay, well, I believe that you don't remember, but still. He's like, oh, blah, blah. Hmm, well, anyway, good talk. It's like you're not even, you're not even, like, scared about like, oh, what's gonna happen when Katie finds out or you're not like thinking like,

what a terrible rumor someone made up for me He's like, and so he's like, I'll probably I'll just tell her when I get home because now's not the right time And she's like, yeah, that's probably good idea. That's a good idea. Don't I like running yeah, I like when he says I have no recollection of that. I'm like a werewolf Okay That doctor check on Mr. Head, but that's Alex P. Keaton's role sir So let's see Tom's like I don't need this like I have a restaurant now and okay So James and Jack's kind of boring well, they're they're but it's actually funny

I was like I was laughing because they're taking selfies together and they're getting drunk slash was laughing because they're taking selfies together and they're getting drunk slash high off absent. And I think it's been debunked that absent is not a hallucinogen, but they were, they were, I think they had a placebo effect going on because they were definitely seeing things and. He said, it's like when you give a girl at a frat house party a seven up and she's like, I'm so waste. There's nothing in there. But they were taking, they were doing this selfies and they wanted to make other people jealous. And Jack says like, hey James, write something funny. So that way, everyone's gonna be jealous

that they're not hanging out with us. And James is like, and his caption was, two shorts of Epsin Thleita. I'm like, hilarious. And Jack's like, look at this, I learned this back in the day. And he's doing like the look look I took off my own thumb. Tray. Yeah, James is like spilling booze down his chin.

And I mean, I was actually really laughing during this. Jack's goes, how many pictures are on that wall? And James just doesn't. It goes, which wall it may. I'm facing a different world than you. You describe what you're seeing. And then what's the status on Brittany? I'm facing a different world than you. Describe what you're seeing. What's the status on Brittany?

Did you have sex today? And he's like, God, we're having more sex than ever. I think she's hate fucking me. And he's like, oh, that's bad. Hey, six. That's bad. He's like, no, it's great. It's great.

He's like, oh, yes, when you get naughty and raunchy, and you see dirty things to it. And he's like, yeah, it's like the Madonna syndrome. Okay. You want your princess. She's amazing. But then you want to be nasty with horse because like Cinderella doesn't do it. You know, you know. I thought the Madonna syndrome is when you do a remake of American pie. And no one asked you to. Oh, like a virgin, A mate. Well, we are material girls, A mate. Yeah, put this book on your head.

A material, mat mat, material girl mate. Hey mate, I'm gonna dress you up with my love and my music, James Kennedy Sessions at Pomp. Wiggy wiggy, think God it's not Tuesday. Okay, so Stasi and Brittany are over at the sticker Polaroid table. And Brittany's like, these are cute! Stasi has gotten more credit for the new Polaroid

than the inventor did. Stop flapping the Polaroid, AF. We're gonna make it streaky work and proc Stasi just you know I stasi likes the Polaroid because she knows how torturous it is to wait for the thing to come through to develop And she just lives off of people be like oh once it gonna be ready. She's like yes Give me power a f the more you complain about the Polaroid the more I grow a f the more you complain about the Polarite, the more I grow, AF.

So Tom, Arianna is just told Tom to wait until they get home to not make a big scene at this party, because, you know, Kiermo doesn't even, he can't even afford to have a real birthday party, he has to do it at work. She's like, just save the guys in trouble. And he's like, okay, so he walks right up to Katie at the bar. And he's like, whoa, I just got reamed out over there.

And she goes, just, Ariana want to talk to me about it. Maybe she wants to talk to me about it. Like, okay, he's already like in a pre-tikillikating state. Ready to blame everything on the girl. Yes, as Katie do. Yeah. And so Ariana's like, no, no, okay, okay, okay, okay. Look, I just said that you guys should talk about it.

Okay, he's like, well well apparently I made out with someone. Like she's coming up with this huge thing to go against you. Oh my goodness. But the Tom was saying it away, like he wasn't like, well apparently, he was just like, oh, apparently I was just facing me not with someone, Baba.

I guess that's the rumor. And I was like, no, don't do that here, don't do it here. But obviously a producer was like, no, you're not allowed to do this at home. You have to do it here. So yes. So then Tom starts, I love because he starts parroting Katie's talk because he goes,

well, I have no recollection of what happened, which I know it sounds like a convenient narrative. You don't even have to say it. Don't say it. Please don't say it. I don't want you to say it. It's the worst when you say it. It's convenient narrative.

Got it. Yeah. He was like, it was right before the was like it was right before the pivot. It was right before the pivot. And Ariana goes, well, it was within nine months. Oh. So then Katie's like, and how did you hear about it? Was it from Ali, Ali, RGG?

No, it was from Lala, also known as Lala. Ah, I was gonna know about it. And Katie just storms off She of course where does she go straight to the garbage alley? We're all confrontations have to happen. Yes, and Kristen's immediately on it She's like oh my god, so we got fucked over and I didn't fuck their boyfriend. I'm in rubbin in rubbin I should be a missus hey. I was gonna go watch some turtles racing, but instead I'm gonna go hang out the back alley Seriously tom toop So yeah, so um so Katie's

This is a great this is a great this is one of the questions. It's very easily answerable because she goes What did I do is this and sort of comic punishment? Yes, it actually is This is for everyone who had to trek up to your wedding your Wednesday wedding That's what this is and I just can't wait. I'm thinking during this whole scene I cannot wait for Van their pump to make this about herself Like I cannot wait to see what she said so Tom comes out He's like, blah, blah. Can I bum a cigarette? She's like I bet you I let you do whatever you want you're untethered

I let you drink with your boys, and's like Baba don't cry she's like oh T-Towel stop T-Towel Baba don't cry I've been something you is not the Madonna complex I'm just trying to learn my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my say out of this James and Katie's like I've been here before and then Tom's like I don't remember anything and she goes get some perspective got some perspective okay I'm gonna stand over here does this count as perspective it looks different now I'm on a chair I'm seeing birds eye view is that what you mean no I don't even know what I mean look I drew I drew a road that has a vanishing point perspective

Now Katie Katie goes back in Sancho starts ranting to the girls and that like half cry thing and so LVP It's just like staring from afar. She's like I hear the sounds of the hoops of broken boot What's happening? Who has my minute of hold? Do I need to jot things down? Hahahaha! Is that the sound of birds crashing into my window? Hahahaha!

Someone to get Chef Joe in a push broom. Let's get out there. So, as you alluded to, Lisa Vanderpump makes it all about herself. Of course. So, she's like, oh, Tom, oh, Tom, second Tom, what happened? And he's like, Oh, Lisa, it's too embarrassing to admit. I feel like a lost puppy, which is, you know, trying to win her heart because he knows how to manipulate a girl. And she's like, now listen here, James's girlfriend will clean up your sick later.

And now stop bringing my dog business into your cheating. And she's like, I've heard it all, Tom. Tell me the truth. And he's like, apparently I made that with some horn a bar. And she's like, since you were married, I take it personally. I took the time. I went to the woods. I got bugs in my hair.

I had long sleeves. On a Wednesday sleeves on a Wednesday Wednesday wedding I'm with the real victim here Lisa Vanderbump who took time to officiate she print out a speech from Vicioushing dot com You've been loose leaf paper oh The best is I went to the woods. It's like the grossest thing she could ever imagine herself doing.

So Katie's now crying in all-inverse. And Tom, Tom starts telling Lisa Vanderbomb. He's like, you so drunk. I don't remember things. I'm like, don't tell this to your future business partner. Are you idiot? Yeah. And she's like, you, you get so drunk, you don't remember game nights. I'm at a loss for words, Kim Richards. And then they randomly cut to Wesley, the bartender. He's just smiling. Yeah. He gets a little guy around at the bottom. They're like future hot person on the show. Yeah, and then Katie's crying to Lisa. She's like, but I love him so much. And then I don't know if you noticed this,

speaking of bangs, there was just, there was some random girl who had various of your bangs who was just standing watching Katie cry, just taking it in. And I was like, you go girl, that's what I would be doing. Just stand like a foot away, absorb it all, tell your friends later be like oh my god I went to this crazy party for this guy named Guillermo. I don't even know who was next thing I knew Katie from BannerPump rules there and she was

crying and her hair was in a ponytail. Have you ever seen somebody cry ranch? Well I have and I've got it on my snapchat. And that was pretty much the episode, wasn't it? Yeah, that was pretty much, because Katie just starts screaming out. Oh, I'm sorry, Romney, to interrupt what Katie starts screaming out. No, no, I mean, it was time to pivot. Well, apparently the press conference is still going on. It looks like the original spokesman, Ramona Singer, has taken the podium. Let's hear what she has to say.

Hi. Welcome back to the press conference. A few more crowned rules. Okay. No questions about Mario. Second of all, Avery is doing great. She's doing a wonderful job. Now that she's graduated from her university

She's hanging out with me and we're having a great time. Any questions? I got a question. I got a question. I got a question. I got a question. I got a question I got a question. I got a question. I got a question. Wrinkle You can ask a question and I'm allowing that because I took care of you when you were sick And I sat in the next room and I read a book. Okay? I like seriously you're a great person. I was bleeding out So like like here's your medal like did mother to recently behind a uniform you could borrow oh, but I don't know who mother to reset is I never have a good relationship with my mother

Although my mother always says you always want to know how to host your own press conference You never want to rely on me man to host a press conference for you. Speaking of mothers, I'm the mother of Avery, okay? But when I go hang out with her girlfriend, they're like, what are you sisters? And I'm like, no, I'm a mother. Does anybody know who Theresa is? Me neither. Let me tell you about the three drink rule. So like, what's the matter? I got a question here, okay, so like

How many battles have I run on a peanut grease? Yo, did you sell last year? Just go question. I'll stop again I so more than you okay, that's what I go all I know is that I told more than you and you're not skinny as the girl on the bottle I Okay, follow the path question. Okay, like like like like what's going what's going on? Like if you, if like, you do it, you don't answer this question, like, like, I don't know. Just like, come here right now. Like, why, why, why, why, I like this? Why do you have a pudding on what, what, why do you, why do you like like this? Like, what, what's going on? What, why do you always do this? Every single time, every single time we do this, why, what do you always do this? Okay, look, Bethany is what we call

bake news, okay? Anything that comes out of Bethany's mouth is hashtag fake news, okay? So I'm gonna ask Facebook to start centering it, okay? Thank you for coming to my press conference. Don't forget to renew. Wow, well that was a very, I think that was a very useful press conference. I feel like we really got a good insight into what was going on over with the man. I hope she's doing well. I mean eventually we want to hear from the cleaning lady that almost got beaten to a pulp, but you know she can't speak to an ongoing investigation. Yeah, yeah. Well I think that just wraps up this episode for today, huh?

Yeah, wrap her up, babes. So you guys go to watchocrapins.com. Buy your tickets to our shows, so we don't have to keep chilling them. We got a bunch. So, you just go there. Watchocrapins.com. Follow us on social. And, um, we are back, Mannyanna, to talk some, uh, real housewives of Beverly Hills. That's gonna be fun to catch up on that. I think they're something else. Buy merchandise. Buy merchandise. I think that's it. Right, we have nothing else to tell. Yeah, that's it. That's it be fun to catch up on that. I think there's something else. Buy merchandise? Buy merchandise? I think that's it.

Right? We have nothing else. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah. Okay, guys. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye!

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