Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Fun Times In Puerto Cry-arta

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

"Vanderpump Rules" gives us more bickering, crying, and tiny ear canals as the cast (minus James) continues to live it up in Mexico. At the end of the day though, it's all about Kristen muttering "Cah-caw!!" on her hotel balcony. Check out our full recap here, and say hi to our new premium sponsors Jeffrey Boehmer and Jamey as well as our new SUPER premium sponsor, Lulusimon Studio! Get tix to our live shows in Portland, Phoenix, Irvine, Milwaukee, and more here: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends Watch what crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends What happens?

What happens? I've been so much crap I've been so much crap Watch what crap ends Watch what crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends Who cares what happens when there's happens? What happens when this song happens? What happens when this song happens?

What happens when this song happens? What happens when this song happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Well Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from The Real House where as a kitchen island, it's Cartoon, you can watch it on YouTube.

And joining me is the hilarious and gentle Ronnie Keram of the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast what's up Ronnie boy B.M. this is a big big week for us because a we're talking about our pump rules today is that's always inherently exciting I believe so at least tomorrow we have the huge craze well Well tonight it's gonna air and tomorrow we're gonna be recapping the Goodbye Kyle episode of Beverly Hills which is exciting also because we're selling Goodbye Kyle T-shirts on our site watch our crappens.com But even more excitingly and and and and more excitingly

We are in a currently we're on a pre-sale right now for our new show that we just announced in Cleveland, Ohio. That's right. If you're watching this on TV party right now, you would actually see that I'm holding up a Starbucks monk that says Ohio on it. We are going to Cleveland to July 25th, a day before we go to Pittsburgh. So tickets are on the Patreon pre-sale right now. They go on sale to the public tomorrow. So, you know, get your tickets, watch the crappens.com. And of course, Friday night, we're in Portland, Saturday night, we're in Phoenix. There are still tickets available. Make sure you get them. You don't want to miss out because our shows are super fun. And you're going to make lifelong friendships. And you'll have memories that will last forever. And we're going to have a super, super fun time. Real House has a New York on Friday, Summer House on Saturday. It's gonna be great. You'll get drunk. Or maybe you'll stay sober and just have wonderful toms. Anyway, that's all the news. And unless

Ronnie, you have anything else to add on to that, we can dive into Vanderpump rules. Let's do it, man. I'm just posting a little video for GoodBuyKyle! On Instagram. I was gonna try to make a good buy Kyle song and have it like ready to go in conjunction with the episode, but I was lazy. Sorry. GoodBuyKyle, goodBuy! GoodBuyKyle, goodBuy! I laid down a few loops on Garage Band. It's gonna be like a really cool Goodbye Kyle dance remix like Goodbye Kyle

Goodbye Kyle But I know the things we can't have today I Know so many things but Band-a-pump rules so this week the episode we are back in Mexico Vanderpump rules so this week the episode we are at back in Mexico the cast is still on their little trip There are quote-unquote like honeymoon for getting married to Tom Tom whatever So Katie and Schwartz are still fighting from last week Basically where we left off Katie was like you sound like a douchebag and he's like oh

Try being with a shit fucking wife for seven years, which was like really, I think we all really enjoyed that. Yeah, I feel like that's been a long time coming. That's like a Valentine's day card that got lost in the mail. And then you just like get it randomly one day and you're like, oh my god, it felt so good. Someone's telling Katie, she's such a fucking person. And it's her husband.

Yeah, it was fun. Wow, it was like getting a pound of chocolates. Yeah, she's like, you're at disaster of a human being. And she's like, Oh, there he is. The man I married. So beautiful. Which goes to prove that Katie was just trying to rile him up. Yeah. Because Katie wanted to make him look about he wants, she wanted him to make himself look like shit on TV, because she's sick of always looking like shit on TV and everyone thinks he's innocent when he's really a prick too, which of course we know because you can see through you, Tom. Yeah, but, you know, mission accomplished. So I was actually proud of Katie because that

was some underhanded Vanderpump bullshit right there that she pulled off. And she pulled it off. So nice job. Now everyone hates your husband too. Congrats. Exactly. And then Shorce tries to put it all back on her He's like oh papa if you feel neglected. Why don't you just tell me why do you have to do your whole Stick and which is like sort of obnoxious because she is kind of telling you right now actually and then she's like Well, I don't want to have to tell you which on the one hand. It's like yeah She's actually kind of right like you shouldn't be neglecting your wife but then same time it's like shut up Katie You don't want to tell them just tell them I don't know I actually don't know I'm out taking both their sides all at once

I say no I say neglect Katie okay if you have a mosquito bite you're not supposed to sit there and itch it and say how you itch mosquito bite you're supposed to ignore it till it goes away Okay Katie fucking mosquito bite. Yeah, yeah, that's that's a good point. Thank you, man. So Tom Schwartz goes, you know I love you so much, but you're naturally kind of a contentious person She's naturally contentious. That's gonna be her new fragrance Naturally content can contentious by Katie. It's wearing clothes that are it's like packaging is too big for the box Yeah, or for the bottle. Um, yeah So she's like, but that's why I yell and he's like, Because now he knows he looks stupid on TV

So now is where he morse into that section of their relationship where I would get a fly swatter and start hitting Tom on the face If you start if anybody started talking to me like this by the way This is how I'm gonna talk to anybody I ever date. Yeah. Like a dog. Okay, it's like when my dog is upset and like he didn't get the last piece of like my French fries at the end of him yell, he gets all upset and I'm like, Oh, but I love you, why is so sad?

And so that's how Tom starts talking to Katie because she gets in the fetal position on the bed. Yeah. And he comes fetal with her and he's like, but Papa, you're saying you haven't gotten the love you deserve and you do deserve love. Yeah. Papa, I want a treat.

Oh, you want to make a bubble, come on. Let's make a bubble together. Yeah, and she's like, I just have been feeling a little left out of your life. I'm like, what? Because he has a job. Like, he literally just has a job. That's the only difference.

But then, if you're married to like a homeless person, and then suddenly he's like a Wall Street guy, like, what are you supposed to do? So he's never left the house before. I know. It is really hard when you like marry a guy who is literally like splashing around in some like algae infested river, like an hour before your wedding

and you just sort of expect that that's gonna be the taste level of the marriage. Like a husband who has like paramecium all over his body. But generally, totally. You know, Marigay and Matty smells like pond. Yeah, pond, like literally he has pond scum on him. Like it's like, it's like the swamp thing, you know? But, and then all of a sudden the swamp thing decides

to like get a makeover on Quirror and like get a 95. It is a little jarring, so I get that. Swamp thing. So then, the, sorry, I was gonna say something really rude and I stopped myself. I don't know what's happening to me. I think I'm a positive mood

because I saw the Amazon drone video on the internet. Okay, so she's like, I don't know what's happening to me. I think I'm a positive mood because I saw the Amazon drone video on the internet. Okay. So she's like, but I stopped talking like that, which I was like, at least she's telling him to shut up. But she's still wanting it pretending to cry. So she'll get some victim points on TV. It's not work, Katie. And she's like, well, I was thinking that playing right could be three hours of us just

spending time together. Oh, shut up. Yeah. See, that's where it's bullshit. She's like, I was, I don't care. He's like, I don't care about first class. I don't care either time. I just thought that could have been us time. I'm like, you are literally taking a plane to a hotel where you have a romantic suite. Like the us time, like you, how about like, just wait three hours instead and then you're gonna have like a huge amount of us time.

And now you ruined all your us time at the nice place. And you literally became friends with someone that you hate because you wanted a better seat on a plane. So don't tell me you didn't want first class, Katie. So then shorts tries to really win her over by saying, well, you, Baba, you haven't been getting enough love? Well, prepare to get injected with love.

That doesn't sound right. Which it totally does. And I like also before when he's like, this is a total turn off. I'm totally turned off. I just wish they kept flashing back to that part where Katie's like, your penis doesn't even work. Loser. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So then they both end in the fetal position, which is such a perfect representation of this relationship.

It's like double fetal. Yeah, it's like recommend for a Bubba. So now we go back to Sir and Lisa's like, well everyone's away, so I'm gonna be doing important things like putting flowers and v is flowers flowers flowers flowers flowers Oh flowers flowers business flowers business flowers Professional flowers flowers with MBAs. Oh look this flower has a middle envelope Oh, and then our favorite secondary character chef Joe

He was out of the kitchen. He's like hello Lisa she's like oh chef Joe I just wanted some quiet time how's the specialty special special special business business special special I know he's like she's like I'm just doing flabbers put Tom Tom just need to some quiet time he's like like I give a fuck I just walked I don't get a napkin. Yeah, I know Katie. He's like, do you know who moved the candles from the main room? It's like, damn it Harry! How is still caught in the corner of the restaurant? Is it to where? Is it to where? Is this the main dining room? Is this the main dining room? Is it now? Is it in my home now? No, how?

So he's like house a feet over a gay gay And she's like, oh darling, it's totally different. Bar food, bar, bar, crock, crock, business business, crock, crock, ding, dong, ding, a la. And some vegan stuff. And he's like, well, if you want to come have your dinner, I'll make your special. Joe, darling, now this is what it's like to be treated. Well, by a friend, a good friend like Chef Joe. What love should be?

Who will not be hanging out with me on real half-hours of Beverly Hills! Well, I've been stabbed in the heart! Yeah, Chef Joe will be the new Chef Bernie. Oh, what a treat to have delay in sea bass, also known as Patagonian Toothfish, every night for dinner. Good to see you, Chef Joe, my new best friend! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Oh, let me explain that tagline for you. You see it sir We like to change things up and what we do is we have a meal that comes on every once in a while We call them specials. It's one of our unique things that makes sex unique restaurant, so you're So Tom Sandivall calls because he's like partner. Hey, it's your partner Tom Sandivall

Just wanted to make sure you got plenty of buzz buttons, bro? Buzz buttons. Lemon juice. Sassy, drinky, drinky. Do you have the liquid vanilla envelope I had sent over there? Just business. Aqua Faba. You really need to make sure you have Aqua Faba.

Oh, is that the P.P. Booker chickpeach use got it, Tom! This is only my 30,000 millionth gozillionth or something restaurant. Hey, Tom, sand of all. Can you just take one of Kristen's cheer pills? Ooh, burn! And it's a rhyming burn! My favorite kind! Mammy K used to love rhyming burns. Oh, because her name originally was a rhyming burn my favorite kind Mamy K used to love rhyming burns. Oh because her name originally was a rhyming burn

90k used to be a devastating insult in the Victorian era Okay, Namy K He's like who's Manny K get out Oh, is that a is that a place where you can get high fashion for less? No Okay, so yeah, she's like take one of Kristen's chin up his and he's like she has those How could she not darling? Oh, she has going for her is anxiety So we're speaking of which we then see Kristen on her balcony because she's living alone has going for her is anxiety. So we'll speak in which we then see Kristen on her balcony, because she's living alone, and she's just like sticking her hand

out in the breeze over the edge, just going, cuckoo, cuckoo. But Kristen even twitches when she could cause to the birds. It's like she's, this is a girl who's never going to get a bird to come to her. She's no snow white. Let's put it that way, OK? She's like, cuck all, go go go go.

Like hello. Yeah, the birds come to like put a little dress on her. She's like, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out. She has a broom. Oh, gorilla. Also, I have to say, cause far be it for me to let this lovely luxury hotel go without getting some criticism.

That, you know, it's really nice that all these rooms have hammocks, but honestly from the exterior, it makes the place look super cheap. It looks like a whole bunch of like clothes lines that are hanging around. Did you notice that? I was like, it looks like a... Yeah, Robbott's hotel game is really oddly, like they're really pushing that one in Dubai, the where everybody goes in Dubai. They're like the like oh it's the bloody blind you by I think it's the same property owner as the the place they went to in the Bahamas what's that call oh Bahama are oh no maybe it's not Bahama anyway I don't even know what I'm talking about I don't care but their hotel games a little off like the one in

Dubai I'm watching million dollar listingasting LA. And the girl goes, the lady seller real estate lady goes to Dubai to get this contract to sell stuff in this big huge new hotel. And they're trying to sell it, you know, to earth. And she goes to see Caroline Stambary. And she's like, uh, do I have to cover up my face and my hair? Like, how does this work? Am Am I gonna get stoned? And Caroline Stambe is like, well, it's just about respecting religion. I was like, do not stoned me, okay? I'm not buying a fucking multi-million dollar condo in a place where I'll get stoned, okay?

No. You guys can make this as nice as you want, make as many glass chandeliers as you want, okay? Yeah, now you will buy a multi-million dollar condo in a place where you can get stoned, but not where you'll get stoned Yeah, it's exactly and now that's my drift oh You got so quiet Ronnie. Oh, you're back. I

Sorry, I started talking on TV party and then like but there's no audio coming out And I just saw you had a very impassioned look on your face like I Don't very upset. Well, well, here's something to not be upset about Ditto time So, uh, Britain Jax, they're getting ready and he's like, uh, Oh, Britain he's like, It's like a fancy or nano or somewhere or something, like, you know, with like maybe one slave, I don't know.

I don't know why I wrote that down. Like, all it was was her face. I'm gonna break this up. I feel like I wrote. I wrote Britney and then I put a line to divide it so I didn't have to talk about her anymore. I think that seems so. Yeah. Stasi meanwhile is like this is the first trip.

I think it's because she's officially paired forever with Jax. I totally missed that because your audio cut out. I just talked to you. Oh, she'll restart this again because I want to out. I just talked to you. Oh, should we start this again? Because I want to be heard in this recap, okay? I know. Everyone wants to be heard. Oh, okay.

So we're going to, we're going to like temporarily stop this recording. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai-jai Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your

resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now everyone heads down to the beach for their dinner.

They're eating like in the sand and everything, and the waiter comes by and he's like, they don't want any drinks and bring his like, is it take a lot? I can only take something that's right. I'm like, that's not how an ulcer works. Like I feel like, like, how does that like work with, how is that logic pass with ulcers? And also, why are we keep, why do we keep checking in on this ulcer storyline? is she gonna have an episode where she's just on the floor puking like why are we seeing this cause an update about her stomach I just think it's so funny making up your own disease like making up your own

cure for your own disease like they don't even technically know that she has an ulcer that doctor said it sounds like an ulcer. Uh-oh! And he said, okay, you can't drink. That means mixed things! What? What kind of healthcare system is this? Okay, we need to go to Canada, everybody. We need to just talk to Canada and say, how do you guys deal with life?

Because we're not winning right now, okay? Yeah, and then, and no, Jackson's like, but, but how do you, what about your stomach? And she's like, I'm taking an easy, I mean, y'all know me. I would have had five shots by this point. And then she was like, and made us all do them with her. Ah. Ah. And then Jack's is doing that thing, or he's like,

I'm just worried about you, babe. I'm just worried. We're gonna have the baby. I wonder, we're gonna be healthy, babe. I wonder, we're healthy. Yeah, fucking do some more Coke off some hookers ass jacks while you're sitting over here talking about health, okay? No one's buying it, sir.

Yeah. And then Kristen takes her shoes off. Everyone's like, oh my god, it's just amazing to be barefoot on the beach. And she's like, oh, I mean, I go barefoot in West Hollywood. So, and Tom. And Sandra was like, uh, growl, scratch your store fee. Yeah, I was gonna say hypothermic needle defeat, but that's fine.

Um, so Sandra of all makes a toast to like, dudes, I want to thank all the dudes and due dads for coming and um, Tom, Tom, etc. and thanks. I think Christmas is like, she's like, oh, okay, cheers. Can you guys hear me? Can you guys hear me? Do you have tiny ear drums too? Can you guys hear me? Okay? It's like ding ding ding. I'm like a plastic glass. Yeah, she's like not even doing like the cheers thing right She's like you know, you know, I'm gonna like hit it like in the side like this But she's like hitting it like wrong. She's like hitting it from like below with like the wrong. I don't know

She's like I don't know. Yes, he's like, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Cuckoo, tiny your homes. Seriously, I just want to say, I think the best thing to do is like, I'm drinking, I'm just not like getting shlammered, but if you don't get shlammered,

like you don't fight with people, so let's not do that this weekend. Great speech, Kristen. That's Tossi Benz I'm rid of Bo, and she's like, don't let her give a speech in our wedding, please. No, never. So now they're like reminiscing on like oh my god, this is like our third time being in Mexico and they're remembering things and they start talking about pillow gate and jacks is like,

you know what? I still stand behind that. I stand behind, I still stand behind what I saw at pillow gate. I'm like you saw nothing. You saw pillows that were arranged in a strange way. That's all you saw. Well, such a Jack's lie way to phrase it, which is, I'm sorry, I still believe what I said. Which is hilarious because you saw nothing. You just said something. It's like the opposite of what you're supposed to do with terrorism. Yeah.

See something, say something. Jack's just like, saw nothing, said something. It's like the opposite of what you're supposed to do with terrorism. Yeah. See, see something, say something. Jackson's just like, saw nothing, said something. Yeah. A lot of things. Unfortunately, a lot of people that operate that way. I wrote a stossies man about a speech. She's like, she's like, she's giving a speech. I'm not getting hammered. It's like she's not giving a speech on how not to need a man. Katie giving a speech on flattering outfits or Lala giving a speech on how to be grateful for the face God gave you. God. I guess I pressed pause while I was watching Vanderprung for the last night. I'm like writing a monologue for myself.

I like to be like a black turtle neck. So the sausage like there's no way that you believe that Kristen and James hooked up on that hot tub and he's like, swear on my father. Yeah. He's so gross. And Kristen's like, what does he say? What did you say? Small ear canals, small ear canals, what did you say?

Which I did not know is something that she dealt with. Plus I'm not sure if it's a real medical condition, but it was like all over this episode. It's just a new fucking disease that she can use as an excuse next year. Like Katie used her thing to happen when she was 16 years old as like her PTSD. Like I'm suddenly suffering from PTSD. You guys, that's like gonna be Christen's thing next year. Donnie eardrums, and people were mean to me.

That's Donnie eardrums. Uh, good call. Good call. Good call. Good call. So Tom Sanovall's like, so dude, Swarzen Bubba, like, uh, everything going okay after your fight and they're like, oh, they could hear us. Well, basically, I was neglecting Katie because, you know, she sometimes looks like a pile

of rags, which is funny because I come home and it's like, what's that pile of rags doing sorting other rags? So weird. Anyway, and then I told her don't be passive aggressive Everything's fine You know we got in the fetal position. I've had a derp at some M&M's next door beds and we shared them together Just pretended like we were on the plane together And now it's like you know what you can't change the way a person is and then christen just they cut to christen

She's just gesturing like Thank you. Thank you Like I always say Coco Coco big cook on to that one Well, it's like yeah, you don't change the way a person is it's like oh what you're gonna suddenly talk about your problems No, you fucking do what I say. You drown them out a fucker. Yeah. Okay, lady who just got her shoes taken away

because she smarted off to her boyfriend after he had a bender on a weekend. Yes. With his friends. Yeah, exactly. Okay, friend who went groveling in the sand back for some Gucci sandals. Fucking hypocrite.

So then Ariana and Lala, Ariana's like, um, it's good to the bar. So then Ariana and Lala, Ariana is like, um, it's good as a bar. So they go to the bar and she, Ariana does her thing where she's like, I've seen her lashing out. And I mean, I see where she's coming from, but it's not okay to hurt other people just because you're hurt, okay? Yeah.

Which, I mean, you're gonna ruin this show if you take that away. And I like that, like Ariana goes, you know, I'm just worried that you're outburst. I don't know, it's going to look, it might look like really bad in front of like the people at the restaurant and like, I just don't want you to lose your job, which is like, oh well, like, like people at the people came to the restaurant to see that, you know. I'm worried that you're not going to be trusted as a hostess for very much longer if you

keep that up. Yeah. I'm worried that your prestigious position as hostess at a mediocre restaurant, maybe in Jumperty now. I mean, how are you ever going to work at Billy's brunch with a straight face to cat? He's serious. Brunch people are lining up to get into that.

Okay. And she's area, she's like, um, area, I hear you, but like, you can't just like say things about my papa and expect me not to go. Ham on your ass or whatever she said. Yeah. And area, I was like, um, I hear you, but I like the area, I was always talking in therapy time. Yeah.

She's like, I hear where you're coming from, but you know, you can't just say that Billie Lee looks boring. Yeah. She's been through a lot. She worked hard to look that boring. I mean, out of all the things that Lala said, that's what we're going to focus on, the fact that she said Billie Lee looks boring. Like that's the most offensive thing.

Yeah. So Lala's like, I know that the way I'm acting is rude But guess what I'm not saw read Yeah, so if you can't be a cut fitness to me not expect me to be a cut fitness back Actually, though, you were standing there at the fucking host to stand when you're supposed to be wiping down menus And nobody did anything to you until you started shit with them. So yeah, as you would say, yeah. So that was my hand. Sorry, that was my hand to the microphone. Most people cannot hear. So sorry, that's what I was doing. So then Ariana started sharing about how like the summer that she lost her dad was the same summer that Kristen was hounding her. Basically,

at the season two or so, season two or three, I guess when Kristen was just like hounding her, basically at season two or so, season two or three, I guess. When Kristen was just like, hounding Ariana nonstop, accusing her of sleeping with Tom before they actually did start sleeping together. And Ariana was talking about how, like, she just like, you know, she just had to keep it together, you know, and it was really, really hard for her

and stuff like that. And Lala was like, every yana, that's not fine. Like when people come for me like that and you exactly not to rip your head off like that, you're out of your mind. I'm gonna go attack Risen right now, just for the fun of it. And if I was your friend then, I would have done it for you.

All right, Greep, have the fuck, you're gonna Greep. I was like, you are never gonna run any kind of self-help group ever. Yeah. Any kind of grief group. She's like, you've turned a hard one to us. Somebody hit him. It's like, steel magnolia's here.

Hit Weezah. Yeah. So yeah, then we'll be just here pretty good. Let's do a shot and go party. Oh my, all sir. What could have saved it off? Party! And so Stasi's like, let's go get naked

and skinny that together. And so I'm like, everyone else come to my room, dude. So they're gonna split up into two into two separate rooms and they go to Tom's room first and Tom has bought himself $400 flippers. Yeah, you might need them at the beach. Oh, man, budgeting may not be his strong point. I mean, I'm proud of him for not buying himself like a white aquasuit and like a matching wave runner or whatever, but dude. Yeah, I'm surprised that he didn't actually

get jet skis for him and Tom, but like personalized with like Tom-Tom on them. I have to keep it going. So Brittany's like, where is Stasi I'm fixing her. And so Stasi has decided that she doesn't, this was her idea, but she doesn't want to do it anymore. And so she's like, I don't want to go skinny that thing anymore. And I was like, come on, let's party, Bubba. Both turning into the new Bubba to me. Yeah, he's just always following around some monster going like Well, because he want he wants to see to go skinny dipping. So wait, he can hang out with the guys upstairs and she like

Would you say they're on vacation? I know and she like just wants to go to bed now She's like even though she came up with the city dipping idea. She's like I don't care I want to go to bed and and she doesn't want to go to bed now. She's like, even though she came up with the CD-to-to-topping idea, she's like, I don't care, I want to go to bed. And she doesn't want to go to bed alone. But you should go skinny to bed. We're on vacation. It's fun. And so she's like, and then the group calls.

And they're like, puke and rally, puke, puke and rally, which was actually the original theme song for the show. Yeah, really. Trixie Monaco couldn't get that one past his answer. Yeah. They're doing my song. They're doing my song.aco couldn't get that one past his answer. Yeah. They're doing my song. They're doing my song. I tried to get that song five years ago.

They said, now we're now looking at playing it. Oh, you think you can change the key? Not get zed. But, why are we writing for Christmas, Paul? Paul, get the lawyers on the phone. We're gonna see some case members. She'll keep my Australian. Get legal zoom on the phone, Paul.

Let me call my ass for you. Let me call my ass for you. Let me call my ass for you. Hello, sir. Copyright infringement. I've been screwed. It's made to be. Paul, I'm getting a lot of inspiration right now.

Okay, so copyright infringement. Legal zoom, zoom, zoom. And as zoom, zoom, zoom. We're going legal zooming. Okay, print that one. Give it to them. Tell them that I'll be our service fee In French man peak in French man. All right, right today. It's not as good, but you know You never know you never know I'll work with the audiences

So Stasi's like um even though it was my idea like I was Get back and like got a bad like mr. BAM I love it there Stossie's decided that this is the hill she's gonna abuse somebody on yeah this So who wants to go out and drink when you all just said you're gonna go out and drink and also these guys are loaded on something I don't know what it is. I'm assuming there was a pasta part the CC's pizza They just ate out on the beach, but they're all acting fucking crazy and I love it. I love the idea that production just says like welcome to Mexico Who everyone? Load them up. Please. Thank you. We need something this so they are now there so now like we have like a phomo comedy bit

That's like the new thing this season because there's not as much drama as usual We're getting tons of flashback montages and random comedy bits so this week's comedy bit is like FOMO and it's like getting like a fake drug commercial for FOMO it's fine it's fine Lomo, when you like have a fear, miss you got like, baddest medicine is to kill like ask your doctor could cause vomiting Murphy co-calling for no reason claiming that you have a your dysmorphia problem suddenly out of the blue Yeah, now listen. I'm a huge phomo person as we know it's been discussed many times in this podcast

So I definitely empathize with this with this segment and I I definitely definitely understood it But um, I was also ready for it to be over. I have Fobee, fear of being included in shit like that. Fear of being included in stupid shit, says fear of being included in foe-b-sissa, foe-b-e-e-sissa. Fear of being included in stupid shit. I do get that occasionally too. Every once in a while.

You know, like, hey, let's go to Joshua Tree. No. So, um, I have, boy, be your basic. So now it's time for skinny dipping. So the girl's stossy to size. She does pukin. Well, she's just rallies. I don't think she pukes

But they all go skinny dipping but Ariana and she know hang back because Ariana has like a fear of being naked in the ocean Because she doesn't want something slipping up her who ha and she know just I don't know. I don't know why she didn't do it I'm sure there was some really good either I expect it from Ariana, but I don't expect that from Cena Well, I heard that if I go in the ocean, I could lose my legs. So I'm gonna stay up here. I just want the Mac, and that's like a really scary movie. So. I think that Cena probably goes into the ocean where she lives in Marina Del Rey, but the Pacific Ocean has so much like plankton and stuff like that.

You know that stick shits to whatever eyelashes she's got glued on there. She probably just comes out like covered. She doesn't want to plank a little bit. She little bugs like making homes in her eyelashes and shit. Well, she doesn't she's probably afraid that she just like get like covered and smothered with plankton and then a Bailean whale will come up and just try to eat her the thingy that she's one giant piece of plankton. I mean, I'm totally not even in that balloon got that. I'm a very serious figure of giant squid. I don't know. I don't like really scary squid out here I don't like when my calamari moves so there's things with claws on there

So I saw the movie splash and I'm just gonna like wait here for Darahana Portina would see splash and just hiding people's trunks until they open them, you know Like so many lobsters by biting through the shell. It doesn't work as well. That's the real reason why she's like, It doesn't like things. So she needed that dental surgery a few years ago. She didn't fall, she just tried to bite through a lobster.

I'm going to be like Darryl Hannah on Splash and a lobster. I heard this is how you're doing. She didn't fall, she just went to a fish market. I'd like to try one of each other. The caramel upstairs, thank you. So then we get the best montage, I think of the season. Kristen falling down on this. And this is all I needed for life to continue on normally.

It was not the greatest move when I watched this yesterday, but God watching God literally take Kristen and just flail her around and toss her to and fro. Yeah, like wow. She was just like up and falling around and legs like tangled up in each other, just flopping. She did fall one way and then the ocean would come back and get her and like, oh, toss her another way.

Like, you just see like arms like shooting up, the like, heads could calling. It was amazing. It looked like wind shuns. Did you pick up a big shell? If you picked up a big shell on that beach and put it to ear, you would hear the hug on the other side. Yeah, it was like, it was like someone took a bunch

of sausage links and then like, dangle them over the ocean. And this is what happens when they dangle over the ocean. They just get tangled up and up the sausages everywhere limbs and link things you know just like folding back on itself. The crisp and wet chime. Well it was it's like you know like winged chimes you know those things hang down it's like imagine that in the water that just be like all around like this.

It was really it was really a sight to be hold. I love those wind chimes. I'm glad that they're like big flutes. Yeah. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

Seriously? How does blowing brow Christian's coming? Yeah, it gets blowing. Kakao! Meanwhile, I've been Santa Volsram. He's just farting on Jack's face, which feels good. Feels good for all of us. You like your 40 guys, okay? I know I say it every episode of this show, but you guys are like 40.

Stop. Yeah, the jacks deserve to fart in his face. Yeah. Okay, I just wrote guys fart on each other. Yeah. Okay. So now's the next morning. Then no, then we get Kristen alone on her balcony. Oh. So now's the next morning. Then no.

Then we get Kristen alone on her balcony. Oh yeah, this is the next morning. Kristen's alone on her balcony pretending she's totally happy to have this king sized bed or to herself. She's like, yeah, she's made like a little espresso for herself. By the way, I think we all know she probably hit the regular coffee function and put the espresso cup under there and there was probably a huge mess under that coffee machine at the moment. I can't make fun of that because you know I've had to buy two coffee machines because I keep doing that.

I keep earning the coffee machine on them walking away but I don't put the pot in and then it just keeps overflowing and then there's coffee grounds mixed with your shit and then I'm like I'm not claiming that I've got a podcast to record and then it just dries up all over. Oh, yeah, it's hard. Yes. So Kristen is there enjoying her espresso by herself on the balcony. And be like, this is the life seriously, seriously. So then bow and stoss you're in bed. And he's like, uh, do you remember last night? It's like, are you mad at me? And he's like, no, it's just that you know you were a drunken branch. Like dude, that was like the least drunken brat ever. I'm making progress. Yeah, she's like, I don't know why it happens, but there are some nights where I drink too much and I just turn I'm not self-aware enough to pull myself out of it. I'm like that's called drinking too much. Like I don't know why that happens. Oh, you know what?

It's called you drink alcohol to excess and that's what happens. So then they get to a four-wheeler place and go on four-wheelers. I don't know. Some of this episode I was like someone needs to fuck somebody else and fight, okay? I also watched these terrible, like, sad relationships of people who are only saying together because they have a TV show. And then this guy trying to make forewheeling happening. Okay.

Well, I'm just surprised that we got on this episode without like two or three broken backs. I mean, between the Dune Buggies, the fact they're on these Dune Buggies, and she knew as driving one, I'm surprised they did not, like, she did not, she did not like press the gas and the car just like made an immediate right turn and crash inside of a building. Like how did that not happen?

And then they get to a waterfall. And there's this like tiny little river with like a little waterfall. And they all go diving, some of them head first into this like water area. I'm like, that looks so shallow. How have none of you guys broken your backs or you're next doing this?

This is crazy. I know it's like sometimes you wonder, is God even paying attention? Because there should be a lot of damage going on right now. The best part was she standing over with Tom, right? Those Tom shoes with check, right in my gawd, gawd, gawd, gawd. Gawd, gawd, gawd, gawd.

And he's like, okay, so she's doing like her pose all over and like doing ass pictures. And she's like, I, so she's doing like her pose all over and like doing ass pictures. And she's like, I was nodding on selling olive, a pick of my ass, but that was fun. So I did like turn it into a lot of cropped fursuit, right? So I'm hoping Mike said I'm gonna fucking kill it, okay, with killing, make you move. That's a heart for that. This is a success I've ever been right now. Like dress up like Lara Croft, I just want to go and draw a pyramid and just be like hot and a pyramid

I just want to be a hot white dress and a pyramid you know what like I think I've actually like I submit my resume to be King Tut's waitress and I'm like fingers crossed. I'm gonna be the one I could totally imagine her being an Egyptian waitress back in the ancient times I could imagine her actually rating tombs. I could just say you're getting lost in a pyramid. Well, not like, pyramids are actually just tombs, not like official business happen there, but I could totally imagine. I feel like, oh my God, it's a scarab.

The scarab's are basically, I actually believe that what, she knows like, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother was in the Egyptian empire and named scarabs because scarab isn't, is a sheena word. Like, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, now they think about it, like all of a sudden she knew words. I says, Horace, Ramsey's. They all sound like words that she knew would say. I sound a lot, I don't know how, Rob Toss, I don't even double top it. Okay, so then we go over to Katie and Kristen and Katie's unadulterated hatred for everybody around her

at all times is starting to crack me up. I'm not gonna lie, because that's kinda how I feel at all mall, you know, let's say yeah, but that's how Katie is Everywhere in life all the time so she's talking to Kristen who she's supposed to like Supposed to be one of her friends and Kristen's like This morning I have a concise bad second My coffee machine logs me so much it poured me like a full coffee is worth into my espresso cup Made a huge mess, but it was great. How good? Yeah, it's not like at home where it just pours on the ground like a bird of the God, bro

Just like I'm not even being insane on this trip like you're being insane like there being insane, but like I'm totally normal Everything is aimed at like I'm totally normal I wish you know that you know that Katie was probably like What was that small I've got tiny your canals What what you know that they've been gaslighting her she has perfectly nice Your canal they just talk quietly around her now just to fuck with her. Yeah I like that Chris the way that Kristen drinks is the way that everybody else acts on a four-wheeler It's just like trying to like the straws in the middle, but she's always like That's big bump

She's gonna see bell the first Katie's like um calm down ah and Kristen's like, oh, I'm a butterfly. I'm gonna look at how to say that in Spanish. You're so I'm very post-a Yeah, she goes Christians duo lingo game was killing it in this I like I like her conditional alter ego to she's like How do you say butterfly in Spanish? Whatever that word is if it's pretty sounding that's my alter ego But if it's ugly sounding fuck it fuck Spanish The word kukuracha just like Rosevichung

So thanks, uh in Spanish is kikak. Just like kikak. Oh god Seriously kikak so Seriously? Cucah? So, so Jack's meanwhile in the pool, there's like in the water area. Jack's gets into and he goes, he like gets into like a breaststroke, he goes, is this elegant? And then he goes, and he tells Stasi, he's like, listen, I have something important to tell you, which is honestly, after all these years, I still have feelings for you.

And she's like, no, stop. First of all, I don't think he was kidding. I think he's still totally in love with Stasi. Really? Yeah. Oh gosh, that would be, I don't even know how to process that if that were the case. Yeah, she does neither.

She's like, also just a side note, this is the first time that I've ever wanted to throw a bar of zest into a waterfall. Use it, buddy. Yeah, so, Jack. It's like, you know what? Just some friendly advice, some friendly advice, you know? I think you need to go easy on Bo, you know? Like, don't be addicted to him like you are to me to Patrick and to every other man you've ever known, you know?

Because Bo doesn't deserve it. Did you notice jacks is pretending he's giving advice as a friend but he's really trying to fuck up her relationship by telling her that bow came and bitched about her to them all night. Oh I did not notice that. So shifty and shady and I'm glad that stossie didn't fall for it. That's so funny you're right. And that's why I contend that he is still in love with Stasi, but he will pretend to be in love with Brittany because she's always got to your blue sauce. So, yeah, so he gives this dating advice and he basically just take it easy on Bo, and he also is like, I've got a man crush on Bo, yada yada yada. It's like, oh my god, he's giving me advice, and he's not wrong, whatever. So now we go back to the hotel

and Lala has Babas for Shina and Kristen because they can have like a Baba moment. And they're, they do some like, I don't know what they're pouring in, they made like a mixture and can put it in there and Kristen has her, so she's just, it's odd with a carbonated beverage. Ugh.

And Lala's like, yeah, we got Jura, Jura is a giraffe, Kristen. And she's like, yeah because like I am a giraffe Yeah, dress go cook off Well flying much raffer cook off Kakao yep, is that what you're asking? So what you're asking say yep yep Oh

I love that song was the Oh I love that song was the Christen's trying to figure out how it's a rap talks Oh Yep So she's like oh, dude, I'm gonna get DSL from these and I was like decent internet. I know I was like Okay, well, that's good You're gonna finally get on like you got it like go up from dial up she and she is just like, where's my mascara

Which is nothing they just they just it's just funny to me that they left that little tidbit in just like she you know Just searching the round the room for mascara Throughout the show thank God I got this night so I can look for my mascara in here. I'm a Tomb Raider But I'm also a mascara finder. So DSL turns out it's dick sucking lips. Yeah. Hey guys. And they showed Kristen doing her duo and then go on dick sucking lips.

She's like, you're a dingo dick suckless. So then she and I was like, um, sell out of liner. Thanks for asking no one. Last night at dinner, Jax said, Hey, thanks to you, how come I put James still? Because of that pillow thing, remember that pillow thing? I was like, so, so, and Chris was like, um, awesome! Thanks for telling me, okay? Cause like, he says like, very different to my face.

Um, I was going to tell you last night, but I forgot, because I was too busy sending ass fashop photos to Autumn, and I'm still waiting for him to write back. And like, it's a little surprising that he hasn't written back yet because like, Robert, right back, and so I've been told, but like, Autumn isn't like responding back. It's like, it's my ass and I've got like a knife in it. So it's like pretty scary and pretty sick. Get the same time. Like, I really like it a lot. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Yeah So she's like part of being friends with the girls is like doing what they want you to know I'm like Christian really likes that when you tell her when people are talking about her You have to do it at a right time or she births down the whole village. It's like crazy

That's a lot of tombstone Yeah, meanwhile a lot was just trying to get Kristen to start some shit So she's like if people said the things about you and James, but about me instead, I would flip my shit, Kristen. I would flip my shit. Don't you feel like flipping your shit right now? Kristen, excuse me, shushy, boo boo. She's like, yeah, like, like,

like putting on her mascara, I ain't really like getting all worked up, like the Hulk. She's like, well, yes, I would like to watch murder she wrote, is that what you said, time ear canals, time ear canals. So then Kristen's like, James makes me flip the book. And then we see a montage of Kristen flipping the fuck out of her James and acting insane.

And by the way, half of these were like, an episode or two ago. I don't know what we're acting like this is like a difference season in Christensen, a totally different person now. But you open this one by bringing in somebody that supposedly fuck James to call him out and have him rage in a restaurant and get him fired. OK, we'll stop pretending like this new personality.

Taking effect. Yeah, create a... So now we go back to Tom Tom and Lisa Vanderpump is in the kitchen and she's teaching her chef how to cook a bolognese and she's like, see, it tastes very much like a bolognese, but obviously without the meat, ooh, ooh. Let me give you my secret, son tried tomatoes! When you're doing... Let me give you my secret Sun tried to my doors

When you're back she goes when you're doing a project that vision has to come from your passion and for instance My many passions I have a passion for cooking and I have a passion for dogs. So cooking dogs. No I've just gone against my own resolution. Oh no. Lisa has been trying to make this begin. Bolinets happen for two seasons now. Okay. You know, a lot of areas that she's showing this guy had to make vegan bolinets, which has been pointed out is just tomato sauce.

And otherwise known as tomato sauce on pettey. And they show it made and it's just a bowl of pettey with red sauce on it. It's like go Lisa score one for that team. Yeah, she's like, you know what, in business, you know what, if I have to put on my apron, I'll put on my apron if I have to put on a hard hat I'll put on a hard hat if I have to arrange flowers I will arrange flowers if I have to plant a new story and later online I will not do that I will not do that that was not me that was someone outstanding Someone outstanding. BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE- She's like, exactly! Now, let's see how it goes, and maybe we'll knock it up with a couple of chili flakes. Where was Chef Penny during all this, by the way? Where was Chef Penny?

I have a feeling that they pay Chef Penny like a day rate to come on Vanderpromp rules. She gets like $50. Yeah. You know, what is she given them really, a salad or two? I think she's like a consultant sort of like She's the sly of food Yes Guess what I think about this bowling azy I think it's actually pretty delicious

No, I see I see a bowl of pretty pedestrian looking pastins and red sauce Way to really challenge my sense that this looks as stupid as stupid can get. And I'm going to have some right now and honestly, it's actually quite delicious. Yeah, really good, really good, fantastic, right? So in Mexico, everybody's just fucked up now. Okay, so they're in blacklights, which you know they're fucked up if you can get this cast to go into a black light. Yeah.

It's like, it's like CSI in there. I'm afraid of what I'm going to see under the black light on this cast. I don a black light. Yeah. It's like CSI in there. I'm afraid of what I'm going to see under the black light on this cast. I don't want to see it. Yeah. And we have this very storing image of Katie, like Tom bent over and Katie giving it to him from behind. And then someone walked by and goes,

somehow that feels fitting to me. I don't know if it was Kristen or Lala, but one of them said that So yeah, it was playing a lot about their relationship actually Kristen's like talking. She's like I keep thinking about Jack's being an asshole and Katie's like say something You should say something everyone wants Kristen to have a scene They also we don't want crazy Kristen and yet they're all sitting here trying to push her into having a scene I know and Katie's the worst because she's like, I'm definitely totally should say something But she's like hating Kristen at the same time Katie is not talked to one person in this entire episode that she doesn't look fucking

horrified about yeah So then Kristen's like, okay, Jack, Kukka, Kukka, Jack's. Kukka, Kukka, Red Kukka. Dude, I'm like bummed with you, dude. I'm like bummed with you, dude. And he's like, what I do. So like you said that you still think

I have sex on those pillows with James. And he's like, who cares? You know what, like what if the roles were reversed? You know? Like, I wouldn't care if you guys still thought that after all the bad shit I've done. Which you fucking did, Jacks. Yeah. It's not like people were making it up and spreading lies about you. You literally did it. Is that my dog barking or something? I heard Mueller.

Um, well, it's funny, it's funny because he actually technically said, uh, Christian goes, I hear you were talking shit about me and he goes who cares? And she's like um I care you're talking It's like you're talking if I was gonna be like hey, you're talking shit about me You said oh who cares? I'm like I Me so anyway, so then she's like, but I only did like two bad things, okay? And I have to keep suffering cuz it's like I'm Kristen so it's believable I'm like yeah because you didn't just do two bad things like what the fuck planet

Are you living on that you just I mean granted you're talking to Jack? So of course you're gonna still look like little boopie, but yeah, she goes these guys get more sympathy or empathy Kaka kaka kaka hashtag That anyone else smoking Uber never forget Kaka kaka Smoking Uber never forget Well, she's right like I guess that they kind of forgive the guys, but do they forgive the guy? I mean we don't forgive the guys so I guess I'm wondering who really gets They forget well, listen was their choice to suddenly just like embrace jacks this season

You know he was like he was like a dirtbag last year and now this year they're all like oh jacks He's changed so like You know, I mean I, he was like a dirt bag last year. And now this year they're all like, oh, Jackson changed. So like, you know, I mean, I actually think she has a point. The guys have done the worst things on this show. Like the things that they have done have been terrible and they have been- Yeah, that's true. And then they show the clips of what the guys have done.

It's like, got a girl pregnant in Mexico. Yeah, cheating. It's like it's all been really bad. So- Fucking faith in front of the 90 year old, she's supposed to be taking care of. Yeah. Chris, so Kristen's biggest problem is that like when by Jax still believing that she had

sex with James, it's like he is still seeing Kristen as the person that she used to be. And she's like, I'm tired seriously of people seeing me as crazy Kristen. Kakao, because when when is the hard work and the change when's that can enough to make me just Chris damn just not crazy christen just christen shut the fuck up When do I get to be just christen hold on wait for it? kakaw tiny or good wait for it. Go go.

Tony or go go go. I'm never gonna let Coco go by the way. That's my new favorite Christian. I know. Coco. So then meanwhile she was having like a full on meltdown. She's like um I like made a joke to Adam and like he like took it and like I said I'm like a cute picture and like he didn't say anything and so I was like you're gone and

he was like you didn't respond and I'm like um if I'm not gonna send you if I'm like a cute picture and he didn't say anything. And so I was like, you're good. And he was like, did you never respond? And I'm like, if I'm not gonna send you photos, if you don't tell me I'm hot, like seriously. Ah! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, face she has over there. And then she's like, double tap is not hard. Okay. So Lala is trying to make Lala happen still in Mexico. She's like, last year James was at the DJ sound playing his shit music. But now it's time for people in Mexico to hear good shit. I'm going to go up and I'm going to join iTunes and mix. Okay. So she goes up there to get her shitty song played, which I don't

care where anybody says out there, it's on sex and all this terrible. Okay. I'm not coming to your side. So she's up there playing it. And I was like, you know what, all you really did was just remind us about how much better they show us with James on. Last time you went to Mexico was good. Remember that. Also, James should be music. You, that was you too, just say no. That's true. That was your big song, Mama. His biggest song was with you. And I know, because I've downloaded it.

So, so sad. So now all the girls go to dance. There's like a raised area. Yes, they all go to dance. I'm like, let's dance the bar. Let's dance a lot, all song. So they're all dancing, but Stasi does want to go and both, like, well, why don't you want to go dance with them?

And she's like, because I'm in a maxi dress with spanks, that's why. And he's like, oh, go, go. She's like, no, she's like, go, go, no. And then she starts to yell at him. Now, you put me at that, man. Well, if you ever want to get a fork in your eye, try and make me dance in public, OK?

I dare you. Yeah, okay. Not you personally, it doesn't need people in general. Okay. You get the damn fork in your eye. Who does that? Yeah. I get that she's annoyed with him, but she seems to just want him to go on this vacation and be like, Stasi, whatever you want. I just want to be with you. My vacation is being with you, Stasi, which I get, but that's just not how I work. So that's really controlling and weird. And you got to stop that or his ass is going to leave. Okay.

Yeah. I heard you're first, kid. Well, I mean, basically what was happening was that Stasi was not feeling comfortable about how she looked clearly because she was like, I'm in spanks and a maxi dress and I don't want to be up there in that. And by him being like, no, go up there. It'll be fun. He's saying you're missing out on a fun time.

And he, she's like, she's sort of already embarrassed that she has to say that, and that he's forcing her to say that over and over again is now putting in a really pissed because she's like confronting a harsh reality that she sort of doesn't want to confront. And so now she's mad. Yeah, whatever.

It's like relationships I don't really care that much about. It's like putting too much time into them. I'm like, why am I putting time into your relationship? I don't even care about it You seem like very lovely people okay go fight somewhere else. Okay get off my TV with this shit So now we go back to Tom Tom and it's like oh look how busy Tom Tom is and we see all these people in the restaurant I saw John Blizzard I don't know if you saw him but I saw him sitting at a table right in the middle of that footage. I was like John texting somebody?

Quite possibly. And then we saw our dear Lara, Lara Shane Halls. Hell yeah, Lara. That was my favorite part. Lara Shane Halls and she had those cauliflower wings in front of her, which she introduced me to and those things are like crack, they are so good. Well, it's funny that we saw her because in our project Runway recap yesterday, I was like, oh my god, the new girl on on project runway looks just like Laura or she like has her spirit You know Laura was really on my TV. I'm like why don't you just move in with me already You're like whoa the new the new stylist from project runway was that Tom Tom She's just gonna be on it. We're just gonna make a laura reference every day this week

Yeah, I think she's tired tie-in-deverage show Here's what I have to say about that call call Double call So yeah, we see Richardson also he's like he's like dressed like he's in the matrix or something He's like yeah, I said people lined up past mother load and he's like took a picture of it So then I mean that's nice, but Motherhood is literally next door. But I will say, I mean, last time I was, I was like, uh, in my solubitana Sunday, there was a huge line to get into TomTom. So it's, it's for real. It's a real line.

It's all in the Bolognese. Well, everyone wants to go to a bar where they can sit, uh, and have the bar come up to their chin. That's, that's a big, big draw. Yeah, everyone wants to eat in a clock at the bark amongst their chin. That's a big draw. Yeah, everyone wants to eat in a clock at the end of the day. Don't they ever want to see the masterpiece of Nicolayne? So let's see, Ariana, the best part of this to me is when they cut back to the mall parting in Ariana's like, I'm gonna fuck out!

Wasted Ariana, it doesn't happen enough. It does not happen enough. It does not happen more. So back at the hotel, Ariana is lying on the ground of the lobby making Mexican hotel lobby angels on the ground, just like wiping the ground with her arms. She's like, voila, it was my birth and my bomb. Yeah.

It sounds like, dude, there's no snow. You can't make snow angels dumpling, dude. Dumb plan. Well, it's dumpling gang all there on the hotel floor. Well, well, well, she's like, I'm fucking ham sandwich. So she tries to piece together the night, but can't really, but it included a lot of car car car car car car. There was like Jack Scott on a donkey.

There's a lot of kissing. There's a lot of girls kissing each other. It was very like there was a lot of a lot of Ariana vat all over the TV. It was it was like very reminiscent of MTV Spring Break 1997 when they would follow like four people going down the Spring Break and those three girls had the three way kiss on MTV and everyone was like, oh my god. I don't know if you remember that or not,

but that was a pivotal moment of my, I think my sophomore year of high school watching that show. Spring break uncovered a weapon of skull. I could. That was like horrifying to me. It's like popular people dancing together and like drinking and being all fun together. I was like, all those people will being me up. I'm going to go to musical theater rehearsal, the denderteater. Yeah. We watched this.

It was a lot more exciting than my spring break that I had in college, which than I did nothing. Yeah, there you go. That's a good spring break. It's called spring break. Yeah, take a break. Lay down. Okay, they should call it spring, lie down. That's what I say. So it's 3 a.m. and Stasi and Bo were getting into bed and Stasi is like, I'm debating whether or not I need to hangover patch. And Po goes, I'm good. And she goes, no, I said, I need a hangover patch. Why is that? So I think, did she say, why are you being so moody?

Or did he say why are you being so moody? Someone accused someone of being moody. He's like, okay. And she's like, what did you say? Because I'm telling you right now, this energy that you've got going on is a no. Go. Okay.

Whatever you're doing right now. And no. And no. Oh, god. You know what, even if you wanted a hangover patch, now you don't get one. Okay. Now you don't get one. You know what?

I'm gonna get this other hangover patch. She has bottle of water. I stuck on a bottle of water. There. She's like, um, I know on a bottle of water, there. She's like, I know he wants to be out right now, but he's acting like my prisoner. Why are you moving? I did not tell you to move.

He's calling me Attica. You know what? Here's the thing, I want him to want to be my prisoner, okay? How many times do I have to fuck this guy before I get the stock com syndrome to work So he's like, oh you can't just talk to me this way You can't just do this to me, son I'm so mean. Oh my god. I thought it was cute actually. I actually thought it was really cute He's like I feel battered and he's like and she's like, and do you feel battered now or how often and he's like

I feel it all the time I said okay, well don't say like every time okay because it's not like every time that is so unfair I'm like I love how saucy is Battering him while she claims that she doesn't matter I haven't hit you for a week him while she claims that she doesn't matter. I haven't hit you for a week. You think this is battering? You think this is battering? Oh, you'll know battering, okay? God. Grab onto my pocket. Okay, here we go. Another relationship with a man sobbing about being battered. I mean, he's not in drag, so that's a step up, I guess.

This is no New Orleans trip. I. How many guys are battered by the wave on this show? And does anybody on this show really know what battered means? Because I'll show your ass, okay? Stop saying you're battered. When you're just getting yelled at for being a douchebag, okay? I think that they mean that they've just rolled around in a whole bunch of wet dough with

club soda in it. I've been battered! I taste delicious! Cook-caw! Chef-Cook-caw here to say, we have three battered men ready for your consumption So yeah, so basically Stasi's like she doesn't want to be with someone who wants to party at 3 a.m And she also doesn't want to be that she doesn't want to be a nag She doesn't want to be like oh, I'm the one like who's the kill joy. Which is a fairly common Situation I feel like that a lot of couples develop into I know, but this isn't something that someone's putting on her

She's literally killing the joy. Like, what do you want to be known as? Because you're literally taking a fly swatter to joy right now. Okay, stop killing joy. She's like, I'm not going to sleep alone. Okay, I'm not. I don't want to. I don't want to.

I will not. Okay, it would have been different if I'd have remembered to bring my mummified corpse of a zombie, but I didn't so now I'll have to be you She knows rating tombs now and I will not sleep alone Yeah, she's telling him I don't want to be that woman who gets pregnant and how to go home to kids and their husbands out Parting don't 5 a.m. I said well, hopefully once you have kids, you know you're gonna be living in the valley somewhere and hopefully you won't be trapped in Mexico with a bunch of drunkard idiots, you know, hopefully like you would have stopped this before it

even happened, you know what I mean? Yeah, but then you watch the real houses of Orange County and you realize kids don't stop any of that from happening. So, so both like we keep having the same fight and it's like you know like why do you think that like I'm gonna like Have I given you any indication I'm gonna cheat on you. I'm not gonna cheer on you so stop trying stop treating me like I'm gonna Cheat on you. I'm not jacks. I'm not Patrick or whatever the fuck his name is the stupid fucking man But am I right am I right honestly that guy was a douchebag right? So I'll see oh my god. I'm such a douchebag Oh, anyway, it backs battering Is it good? It's not like I'm some man boy. Oh my god. Did we get my dinosaur costume?

I'm not hey, um is my marry on Luigi costume here yet. No Yeah, you know they're just in that that pattern where they're they're just that couple we all know that couple It's like oh my god our relationship I'm not good. They're like our relationship is so good guys. Here's where relationship is so good And when their relationship is bad it's like oh my god our relationship, but we're working on it I thought it was like you know me. I can't say I won couples fight on reality TV, but I actually thought it was like a very relatable argument and I don't know, I thought it was, I thought it was actually very sweet.

It was like, it wasn't like a Katie Tom argument. I was like, you like me. No, no, no, no, no, no, you didn't give up your first class. This was him being like, I'm trying to love you. And, you know, did I just make a whole bunch of noise to no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she was feeling really insecure and he's like, stop. He wasn't being like, you're crazy, shaw, bada, bada, bada, bada, and that didn't become one of those annoying petty fights. It became a fight of like, I love you and I'm trying to show how much I love you and like,

you won't let me love you, which I thought was what made it more sweet. Oh, she was letting him love her. He's just not there loving her, he wants to go out and party. The problem is not that he's trying to sit there and love her too hard. It's so he wants to go out and drink. But you didn't want to drink at that moment. He was hanging out there. They were just hanging out too hard, but he really just wants to go out and get shmammard, as they would say, and she doesn't want him to. Yeah, but in that instance, that fight was, he wasn't like aching to go out out, he was just settling in there. Well, either way, so then meanwhile, during all this, like, Lala casually had a panic attack.

They were like, we see everyone coming back until like Tom Tandoval's sweet and they're like, yay, we're back. And like, oh, so Lala had an anxiety attack and we see like a flashback to Lala and the bus, like, oh, and they're all like around her. They're like, put on some music. What's the song that she likes? You like a song you to Lala and the bus like, oh, and they're all like around her. They're like, put on some music. What's the song that she likes?

You like a song you want some Brittany? Why is this not relegated to like the main show? Why is this a flashback, this panic attack? I know, I love the area. And I was like, put Brittany on, Kassino's here and then Tom number two is like, no, Pazio, that's no. Kiss for Rose.

So then Lala is walking around the boys' room topless, and I'm like, Katie is going to drown this bitch. But then it turns out she's topless with Katie in the hot tub. I was like, whoa, I'd never expected that. Yeah. Tom Sandivult's like, dude, for most of us having a panic attack would have ruined their night, but I'm impressed. She's pukuked it out and she's good to go. And Aaron would drunk carry on it's like there are millions of people in the world going

through seeing, getting the zone out of the zone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There's gates and dolphins and... Kibana. Kibana yellow road Smith. It could be yellow road Smith. I'm just like, I'm trying to make it known. Every person has their own timeline. I knew that a lot I mean.

Yeah, it's like sometimes like the pantagest theater is like, whoa. And number two is like, she's due to her own language. They go inside the tom's and tom number two is like whoa we have to get these sensitized to boobs because they're like everywhere now. Yeah so then we go back downstairs we're sauci and Bo were still fighting and Sossi is now crying about divorce and being traumatized by it and Bo's like, have I show to anything? And she's like, it's about the warning signs like I'm a huge warning sign. Why do you want to date me right now? The fact that you're willing to date me. That's a warning sign. Yeah, you're on Vanderpump rules That's like the biggest warning sign that you could give anybody, you know.

Yeah, and Sibos like, if you don't figure out your shit, how are we gonna have a future if you don't trust me? Oh, mop it up, lady. Then you just hear from like the next wall. Kukou, kukou on there. Kukou Kakao in there. Kakao Kakao Kakao. So much is through Nespresso on our balcony. Who would do that?

Keep that Kakao Kakao down. I can hear you even with tiny ear drums. Tiny ear drums on the dance. That brings us to another end of another recap of another Technical issues be damned we came we got through it. So you guys thanks for listening We hope to see a whole grip of you this Friday night in Portland. There's already like several hundred people coming So it's gonna be a great great time We love going to the Pacific Northwest and then the, great time. We love going to the Pacific Northwest.

And then the very next night, we are going to the Southwest, going to Arizona. We're gonna talk some summer house, which I'm excited about because I heard this except it was funny. So I haven't watched it yet, but I believe watching it's probably in about 25 minutes.

So, whoa. So it's gonna be a fun time. Go to watchacrabbons.com to get your tickets and we'll see you all tomorrow for some Beverly Hills action. And don't forget to get your tickets also for Cleveland, which are... Yeah, everybody. Damn it everybody!

Ah! We'll see you guys in a couple days. Bye, suckers. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watchocrabbons ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.