Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Gone with the Wine

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

The Witches of Weho come together for a big wine event on Vanderpump Rules, and in true fashion, Stassi throws a full bodied tantrum with notes of rage and psychosis. Other varietals include a vintage Beau, whose anxious bouquet really opens up after a few swirls, and a 2019 Kristen, which features a floral yet unstable finish. It all pairs well with an earthy meal of Scheana, Dayna, and an unwanted psychic. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens

What Guess what happens when they're so violent? Rapins, what happens? We're not trapped. What happens when they're so violent? Kids, what happens when they're so violent? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from The Real Housewives of Kitchen Island. There's a new episode on my Instagram, and it's also on YouTube.

So go check Atten Mandelker to go check that out. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Caram from the Rose Prick Spatch Rose podcast. And he's at Atten, Ronnie Caram on Instagram. Hey Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hello, how you doing? Just great, happy Earth Day. Well, thank you. Love you Earth. Love you Earth. What a bet what a great way to sell it Earth Day, you know, then then by recapping a show about lots of people who are so faces not filled with plastic at all.

Yeah, we on earth they what we want if we want. Will you be texting over there? What are you doing over there? Me? Yeah, no, no, not ever. Whenever there's a long pause, whenever there's a long pause, I just imagine you're over there texting like Ronnie's stupid. There must have been a mom it's been running some idiot

There must have been like a disruption to service because I was I was fully listening I was fully not only was I listening I was talking directly after you finish talking There must have been a lag in the in our Skype The the joys are shut up very I'm secure today. Okay. Earth. They brings out a lot of emotions in you It really does. Like, will I ever be as big as the Earth? M'lachelas. I think that on Earth Day, Brabo stars should pledge to,

instead of using fillers, they should use compost in their cheeks. You know, just like reduce, reuse recycle. Yeah. I do have a lot of common with the Earth though. Like, I'm global warming. I'm like body warming. I'm just getting like bigger and more polluted

as the years go on and it's getting to the point where it's just like it's becoming unstoppable. You know, I'm like flooding. Well, the Earth is like mad at us because it like, Earth Day, like three minutes after turn to Earth Day, it was like 12.03 and we just had like such a jolt of an earthquake here in Los Angeles. I was actually watching Vanderpun brules

and I had my laptop on my lap. And like it was like, you know, Stasi's been saying, I am shooketh a lot, but I was literally shooketh by the earth while watching Vanderpun brules to the point where like, I like, got up and I ran to like a random part of my apartment. My emergency instincts are so bad.

I just like, I had some strange like weird chipmunk instincts to just like dart somewhere. So I like was on the couch and I just like, it was like boom, and I like got up with my laptop, by the way, I like grabbed my laptop and then ran to like a random part of the apartment. Like it wasn't, it didn't make any sense where I was. I was just sort of standing in sort of a central,

weird area and Dom was just looking at me like, where are you going? I was like, I don't know. He was like, come back, come back. Because I actually, where I positioned myself was right next to a framed poster. So I went to the one place in the apartment where something could fall off onto me. And he was like, come back here.

And I was like, huh? And I was all confused. And I was like a very strange alarm to animal last night. Perfect. I love picturing you just like, ready to like a glass shower to hide in. I know I'm like, to the knife cupboard. I'm gonna stand right in front of this dish drawer,

you know, this dish cabinet. Seriously, my instincts are not good. But yeah, my instincts are just the same no matter what's happening. I just lay there. Like I just lie there. Nothing can change it. Every time I've been there in an earthquake, I just literally lie there.

I'm usually in bed and I'm like, wow, my bed's shaking. I didn't even put a nickel in it. Or one time, you know how I like home make everything. I had a desk that I put, I made it out of like a big plank of wood from Home Depot and put it on two CD cases and then nailed something into the wall so it was like, went under that. So it wasn't really nailed to anything, the desk part, it was just kind of there. And it flipped

up, hit me in the face. I knocked over because it was too tall, it was like a drafting table. So I'd have this long chair. It knocked me over. That was the worst one I ever was in and I literally just laid there on the ground because I was scared or hurt. I was just like, I don't want to get up. I one time was lying in bed and by the way if you're lying in bed in an earthquake you're supposed to stay in bed and cover your head with a pillow. But before I knew this I thought you were supposed to, well if you're not in bed, you're supposed to like get under a table or something, right? So one time I was lying in bed just sitting there and There was like a very very minor earthquake like a 2.8 or a 3 but I felt the shaking and I was like God again under my desk, so I jumped out of my bed like through myself onto the floor and my knee hit the little Brick that that's like part of you know like on your laptop the charger. that's like part of, you know, like your laptop, the charger,

there's like the square, little square thing. My knee landed on that. And I got like such a bru- the bruise lasted for three weeks. And by the time I was over, like I landed on it and then like I curled up, but I wasn't even under the desk. I just had curled up on the floor, on top of this brick. And I injured my knee in the process and then people like what happened your knee? I was like I Jumped out of bed during the earthquake. They're like the 2.8 earthquake. I was like yes Oh my god Yeah, I don't oh well everybody that that that that that's our earthquakes to respond Yeah, well today's show is Vanderpump rules, as we've mentioned.

But we do still have a couple other things going on. Irobat, still going to be going, Irobat. Oh, yeah. So go enter that contest. The rules are on Facebook or on Instagram at Watch Up Crappens. Just look at the Irobat post there. It's been made and look at the rules and enter. Okay. When you start an Irobat. Also, we have videos over on Crappens on demand. just look at the eyebrow bot post there, the bin made, and look at the rules and enter, okay?

When you start an eyebrow bot. Also, we have videos over on Crappens on Demand, if you're bored in quarantine and wanna see how gorgeous face is. Crappens on Demand is the $5 level at Patreon, and we do a couple videos a week, and some live streams, stuff like that, and also all our bonus episodes are over there, so.

Go check it out, okay? Yeah, and also, let's do, I'm just, let's do like two quick small business shout outs. I'm going to do one or shoot. Let me open those. Yeah, that's, I'll start it up while you go, you go open one. I'm doing one by Kate McKenzie. Oh, nice. Okay, did you delete the ones that we already did from this email thing that you already did?

I think the ones that are already open are the ones that we've already done. So it should be okay. Lower it, okay. Sorry. Guys, welcome everyone into the process. You know, this earthquake. There's so much that's so much that's happened. Okay, so this is from Kate. So she says that her small business makes handmade soap, body, and bath products. And they primarily sell their products to tourists at Pike Place Market. Pike Place Market in Seattle, which is so cute. Ronnie and I have definitely been tourists there. And as you can imagine, they are struggling.

She says, we would very much appreciate a shout out and are offering a 10% off on all soap and scrub products. The discount code is soap. Find them online at www.budabath.net. That's B-U-D-D-H-A-Bath, all one word, .net. And Kate, go buy some soaps and stuff like that. Especially because you know what, also soap and everything like that is very hard to come by. Try to get it from Target, it's very difficult.

So go help out Kate, get 10% off. Get that Seattle soap, you know, Buddha's very difficult. So go go help out Kate, get 10% off, get that Seattle soap, you know, Buddha, Buddha bath. Yeah. And Farah runs a online boutique with her good friend based in Connecticut. But you know what, it's online. You can get everything there on the internet, okay? Because the world is on the internet now. It is called Blake boutique. She has fabulous clothes and accessories. On 15% of each order will be donated to direct relief and that is a nonprofit that delivers masks gloves and isolation gowns to health care organizations so just go to blakebutteak.com or boutique depending on what part of the country you're from which I've just stated into the world now

yeah so yeah go go help those people out oh, I've got one more, yeah. Yeah, sure. Just because I already opened it so I don't want to forget it. This is a hot sauce business. Hot. I love some hot sauce girl. Now this is called Jason's mom's sauce. Okay. They have two sauces. There's original and hot and you can get them both online They've been available at Central Florida establishments for a really long time and let me just make sure what this website is really quick online It is Jason's mom's sauce dot com all right go then get some hot sauce Oh, yeah, me yummy, and they also have t-shirts. So look at that. They're really kind of real cute.

We have a lot of it. We have a lot of it. We have a lot of good listeners who are entrepreneurs. I remember when we went to our first DC show, someone came and gave us some of their homemade hot sauces that they sell. They're delicious. Oh yeah, delicious.

Remember, we had like, they're in these cool, like kind of flask jar. So I hope they're doing well too. And if I can remember what they were, I would promote them more. But I can't off the top of my head. All right, well let's move on to some Vanderpoop Drew, Sam.

Yeah, Vanderpump Rules. It starts, it's cool. We get like a little bit of an origin story to every douchebag in Los Angeles because we started bartending school With Brett and Dana learning how to make Bot Katanax and stuff Yeah, I think we saw somebody go here already right did we see Max go here? Who did we see go to bartending school? I was like is this the same bartending school? And I think it is because I'm still traumatized from that episode when we saw that the bartending school is painted like

Monica's apartment on France. Yes. Fucking purple color, which I mean, that's the color of suicide. Just take off the color, repaint bartending school. Okay, bartending school is not cheap. What do I have to look like? I'm going to sit come from the 90s? Yeah. Um, I, well, you know, Jack's probably loves that. I'm pretty sure it's the same bartending school that there's like a, there's a bartending school in the valley that's right off the 170 on Burbank Boulevard. And I feel like that's just so Dana and Brett to be right at that intersection. Just under a highway, a lesser highway, on a non distinct boulevard in the valley. It's just, it's perfect.

It's a low effort. It's a low effort bartending school because it's called ABC bartending school. Like that's the lowest effort name I've ever heard of them out. Like get a better name, come on. You can't, you can't. Come on with the pun.

Something ABC, come on. It makes it just wanted to be first name. Come on, you can't, you can't. Come on with the pun. Something ABC. Like, I'm not just wanted to be first. And it works, you know, that's why chorus line, the Broadway musical is called a chorus line, because they wanted to be listed first. Is that true? Yeah. Now I'm looking at some old queen in a bar a long time ago. Our ABC bartending Los Angeles. Let's see if it's the one that's. Oh, you know what? Guess what? I live. It's in Culver City now.

You know what I have? All mine, Abartoning School. What is that? It's in Culver City, how strange. It feels like it should for sure be in the Valley. For sure. I'm like a little upset by this. Well, Culver City is kind of the new Valley.

And it sort of, it does lack personality. And that's like a super far away. And you move there when you're ready to have babies and you know like have decent parking spaces and stuff like that. And then people are like, oh my god, we got such a deal in COVID city. Oh, great. I get to drive a fucking hour to see you. And it shouldn't take an hour, but it does. It always, it's, it's,

the whole of our city always takes forever to get to. And there's nothing very special there. It's like, I feel like it's, it's, Hover City always takes forever to get to. And there's nothing very special there. It's like, I feel like it's the land of Blaze Pizza, right? Just like nothing but these weird, fast casual concepts that are around, but no one ever seems to go to, but then there are still always there. It's like tender greens, Blaze Pizza, and like flamboyal or something like that,

which is not that different from the Valley. Yeah, and they have that whole section of homes that looks like the set of Matlock. They're like weird little homes from the South that you're like, what are these doing here? But then, Colversity also thinks it's cool because high tech companies have come in there like Apple and then Sony's in there and stuff.

So Colversity can definitely look down on the Valley, but the truth is, anyone in LA knows that going to Culver City is just generally a blah experience. Not bad, it's just blah. Yeah. So that's that pretty much explains the B team at this point. Oh, by the way, speaking of not blah, but we were talking about the B team. I had a disagreement with our friend Ryan Bailey go listen to his podcast Because I was just on it. Oh fun and it's called so bad. It's good. So go listen to it's four and a half hours I was not on it for four and a half hours Okay, but the episode came out today and it was people like dude four and a half hours

I was like wow that even puts us to shame because we used to do a good three and a half three to three and a half Yeah, yeah, we yeah, we might just today. I mean today We basically talked about what to do in an earthquake and we can't get live at the opening sign of this bartending school And there's a full episode I know but anyway go listen to that Ryan's great and his podcast is really taking off So thanks for having me on there Ryan is called so called so bad. It's good go check it out So bad it's good. Okay, um, so was did Ryan ever go to this bartending school? I'm just kidding Didn't we all didn't we almost have it like didn't we almost have some of it?

No, we did not all must all good ABC So um, this is the kind of uh school and you can expect at the ABC for attending school. There's a guy who's just standing there going, if you're overpouring, you need to slow down and if you're underpouring, you should speed up. Like, well there, there you go. Here's a thousand dollars. Thanks, Abba-sa. Yeah.

Counting. Counting the exciting world of counting on pace. Let me learn a little bit about Dana. Yeah. She's like, well, everybody knows bartenders make more than servers. My mom was a bartender for 30 years. So it was like kind of in my blood. Yeah.

So sad that that's something you can pass on. And I'm wondering like, maybe I just don't have children because I just don't want to pass on bowling alley. You know what I mean right like Yeah, I don't know what I would be passing on. I'm like Congratulations kids. I've passed on to you the ability to waste hours playing animal crossing. You're welcome Then has kids and they're just always running towards power breaks whenever a disaster happens. That's actually the worst. That's truly what I'd be passing on. Like the world's wonky spider flight reflex. Like running into walls.

I'm basically like when you look at insects, when you agitate like a colony of ants and they go sprawling and all these, they just start going in circles. You know, like where do we go? Where do we go? Where can we go? We're confused. Mr. Maddokor, we had a fire drill and your sense stood on my desk and started doing twirls. So really? Like, I'm the person who would like get

stop, drop, and roll wrong or like duck and cover. I'd be doing jumping jacks while the rest of the class was under their desk. So Dana tells us that her mom showed her when she was like eight years old, how to make a dirty martini. So the mom didn't have to. And you know, you go, go. Sounds familiar.

Thank God my mom just drank wine. You know, yeah, this is like as easy as just, you know, opening a box. Nice and simple. Yeah, opening a box. So, so Brett is telling Dana that Max worked up with Fikshina, or is they're calling her Shina Squared in Vegas, and Dana's like, I thought time apart would make Max and I miss each other, and Absence makes the heart grow fond and all that, but apparently Absence makes his dick grow harder. That's in my standup everyone. That's in my standup.

She's really working that apathetic standup angle. Yeah. It's never been done before, Bonnie. So I think she's gonna really kill it. Never seen that apathetic standup angle. Yeah. She's like, I just have no personality and I'm really drool and I hate everything. I'm so drool, but then I'm gonna shock you when I randomly say something extremely upfront about my sexuality. Yeah. And then Brett's just standing there like a greasy, like he's just all his hair is just pure grease with a hoodie on inside.

Like gross. Yeah, he- And I think his hoodie probably looks like, you know, like when you're frying potatoes and you like put them on a paper towel to soak everything up? That's probably what the inside of that hoodie looks like. Yeah, it looks like fast food wrapper, you know? Yeah.

And yeah, and I don't also understand why Dana is sort of saying this resentfully, she seems almost annoyed that Max banged Oh, H.R Oatress and Vegas. And I'm like, you were the one who started going out, like hanging out with Brett first. So, like, I don't understand, like, you can't either, either be upset at Max and don't start sort of dating, kissing,

Brett, or, like, start kissing Brett and then be like fine when Max bangs, you know fake she know Yeah, and Brett is such a tattletail Really like every scene is Brett tattletailing on somebody and he's like, but that's why that's my boy Yeah, we need to write a book about this killer Secure trying really hard sir get off my TV. I hope they're firing those guys, right? Are they going to fire them? I feel like maybe at the very least, I'm hoping they fire Max because Max really brings nothing. Brett brings basically next to nothing, but Max brings absolutely nothing.

Yeah, I hope they get out of here. The girls I've been looking to new girls so far for the most part, Dana's on my nerves today. I will say that. How dare you try and turn everybody against Shina? Man, how dare you. How dare you? Yeah.

Now the girls are generally fine. Also, I hope everyone appreciated this, Jackson, Brittany, free episode. That was a lovely treat for us. I know. That was actually nice. How did that even happen? Why aren't they at the witches of wine? Weho potion of weho wine wine. I'm sure that Britney's you know like photo bucket Like wedding album had arrived so she was held up there in the house like oh

That was when I picked up a place of grace We're not ready to go to our first wine party since we've been married! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! So, we get a trick-seemonical classic as we transition to the next scene. It goes like this. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Um, bow is, you know, over there brushing out the Stossi's hair pieces. And Katie and Swartz come over to talk about really nothing. Like you guys just go, okay, just pack up the fucking minivan and get out of here already.

Go drop your babies at a KOA. I don't even care. I don't even care what happens to you at this point. You're boring me, right? You're all becoming Katie you at this point. You're boring me. Yeah, you're all becoming caddies at this point. They're like a slow moving trolley just wafting through neighborhoods popping in, you know. Not the trolley's pop in to places, but I just sort of imagine that when they leave someone's house, they just hop onto a slow moving trolley that just sort of like like every time you look at the window like, oh, the trolley's still out there. Okay. Oh, like that kind of vibe.

Come on, Shows. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just say in okay. Kristy, wow, we're the Dowerty. Nobody sucks at to us like Amy Sokcarellas. Jamie, she has no last name.

Don't return to center, it's Lauren Fender. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Let's run some errands with Emily Aron. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelowni. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Nelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Burg, you can't have a burger without the bird. We know a thing like Alson King. No trickle-us. Nelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Burke.

You can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Alson King. He makes us squee-er-chid-ee. Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. Hannah, cut it. I love that banana. Anderson. Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Paris.

Avonigila Weber. One day your Rachel's in. The next day, you're out. The Bay Area Betges. Betes. And our super premium patrons and subscribers. Let's take off with Tamala Plane! Move, she did it again, it's Brittany Montana. Give them hell, Miss Noel.

I take the fifth with Dana Smith. Let's give them a kiss, huh? It's Austin and Marissa! Always ready for Nicole Passa-Ready! Better than Tabooly, it's Annie and Julie! You're the Wyndham beneath our wings, Joe Wy Windom. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. We will we will Joanna Rockland you. She's not just to Sheila. She's a Danielle. It's you. His frog's ass water time. It's Rosen's a. Let's go on a better with Lauren Fender. Yes we should with Carrie

Bridgewood. Nancy C. C. C. C. C. Centicisto. Simple as rocket science, it's Dana Eazy. Somebody get us 10 C.C.s of Betsy M.D. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthews sisters. And she ain't no shrinking violet koo-char. We love you guys. But anyway, so Tom has an update on the marriage certificate. The last episode ended with him saying he couldn't find the marriage certificate

And we just all naturally assumed like oh this is gonna be like a revenge prank about the bra You know like the Lisa van der Prøm's brawbing and the luggage. I was like nice try bravo We're gonna make us wait a whole week for this. But guess what? He actually Lost it. It's a for real thing that happened. He lost the marriage certificate. I guess receipt or whatever. I mean I that's that's a man you married. I'm more fun with that. Yeah. So then Stasi Stasi storyline I think Stasi is like, well, I mean, basically, I'll have done this year's beg to get engaged. So maybe I should yell at Kristen about something today. What should I be mad at Kristen for? Okay, today I'm bad because Kristen thinks that Bo should be able to talk to her even though I don't like her. Fuck, Kristen, let's kill her! Yeah. Really? Who cares? Yeah, they're like piling on to Kristen again and it all starts with Katie saying I feel like Vegas was like just such a success

I mean we had the perfect crew there and like sorry that is not a slight towards Kristen. I guess it is That is literally the definition of a slight and it was towards Kristen Well, you're sliding yourselves because you're showing what your perfect crew is and it equals an extremely boring show. I think that every Vanderpump rules watcher can agree that last week's episodes was pure shit. Yeah, that was a native episode. I didn't read on mine one person, like, wow, what a fun episode.

You guys are just being harsh. Nope, it sucked, okay. Yeah, it was pretty rough. So, you know, Stasi is saying that what was so wonderful about Kristen not being there, she didn't have to worry about Kristen over stepping her boundaries because that's what she does now. And she's just been really getting triggered by memories of 2012 or 13 when Kristen hooked up with Jacks behind her back, et cetera.

So it's really dredging up all these awful memories for Stasi. Well, listen, I'm still triggered by memories of 2000 and 12s when you work clown pirates leaves and cutouts like you're on the real housewives of Orange County. Guess what? You're still wearing them. Also bringing up jacks, bringing up this jacks thing is so ridiculous because it's just reminding everybody that you fuck jacks for a really long time And I don't think that that's the brand you want to be So shading with at this point and also why is it that like Kristen gives you PTSD to that time But why is jacks not giving you PTSD to that time like well that I feel like that's almost an excuse

And that's that's how you know it's an excuse because if she really were having issues with PTSD Trust issues. I think she would be mad at jacks too know it's an excuse because if she really were having issues with PTSD, trust issues, I think she would be mad at Jacks too. Yeah, because she wants to be done with Kristen. She wants Kristen off the show and Kristen still finds ways to shoot the show, even though she's totally being excluded by these, you know, the mean girls. Well, the problem is that the more Kristen is excluded, the more bonkers she becomes, and the more bonkers she becomes, the more the audience seems to really enjoy her.

So it's a terrible cycle for Stasi, unfortunately. It is, and it's a total bravo cycle that happens all the time. And Stasi actually watches a lot of bravo. You would think that she'd learn at this point, when you bully somebody, the bullied one becomes popular. Yeah, I think at this point, what it boils down to is, Carter, they hate Carter, they're sick of talking about Carter with Kristen, they're finding her to be really annoying,

and they just are like, she's annoying, but that's not enough, so they have to, she has to drape all these things about, it's just drape all these things on it like, oh PTSD from 2012 or whatever, but I think at this point they just are annoyed by her. Yeah, so Katie is telling her, well, Kristen got all of the decorations, she's basically doing everything for this party, so all we have to do is show up at least, and then we cut to Kristen, who is getting everything organized at her house and trying to figure out how to work a poster. Yeah, she's...

Give me like, talk about PTSD. Give me PTSD too, at that time when we had a step-and-repeat at like our first LA show, and we had to like, erect a step-and-repeat and it was really scary. Yeah, guess what? Never happened again.

Never happened. We're done. We'll also partially because we made branding specific to that show so we could never reuse our Steppen Repeat, which is also probably good because who needs a Steppen Repeat at a Crappin show? Yeah, nobody. Also, I also enjoyed watching Kristen because she had a bunch of fake cauldrons at her house that she was like fudzing around with. And I just, for some reason, I'm like laughing at

the idea of Kristen calling up someplace and being like, hi, I'm looking for some cauldrons. Do you have some cauldrons that I can buy? I'm in the market for cauldrons. I don't know, the idea of Kristen fake cauldron shopping is very amusing to me. This whole thing is so Kristen. Kristen just needs to shoot with herself. I love it. She's opening the step and repeat thing that like unfurls from the bottom

and then it slaps her in the face and that's how her scene ends. I can imagine the trauma she must have incurred during the slap race that era of the 90s. Like you know that she was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, never expecting them to curl over. And also, Stasi, by the way, Stasi is so over this witches of weho thing.

And she's like, if the witch's of weho were Destiny's child, I'm Beyonce and I'm ready to leave. At which point I heard about half of America sort of just, what's the sound of like squinting your eyes and shaking your head? That sound happened. and that. That. No, this is sad. I feel like I make when I, when I screw up my eyes like. So then let's go to, sir. Oh, also, I don't ever want to finish this recap. Okay, I was like, this show sucks.

Let's talk about it for 12 hours. Yeah. Katie, Katie, Brian's record. 4 1 1 2 3. Yeah. I was like, oh, Ryan, you think you're so great with your four and a half hours show. We're gonna be, we're gonna talk about Vanitypump rules until the quarantine's over.

Katie tweeted something like, oh, God, all we had to do was post on our social media for the stupid wide cap of it. It's not like Chris and actually went bought the decorations or anything. Like all we had to do was tag it. And what God, do you have any pride at all? And also, are you grateful at all

for just being handed money for literally only tagging something? Seriously. Like do you really have to fuck over the wine company this bad? Like make an effort, make some kind of an effort, geez. And Chris and just tweeted back, we are both involved in this business and we should be proud.

Good for you, Kristen, I can't wait for Kristen to appear on Shark Tank. Seriously, I'm looking for a 5% investment for 5% equity, and I don't know what I'm saying, but you want to buy it? I will invest Carter taking your cameras to your car for you if you give me 90% of your company. Oh, she'll come in like frickin wicked, you know, because on Shark Tank they always have these like ridiculous, like ways to open up their pitch. Where should they like, I'm defying gravity with wine which is a wheel wine I'm looking for $250,000 in exchange for 1% equity and Mark Cuban's t-shirt. Sorry, get out. I know you win her when I see a winner and that's a winner.

Okay Laurie, I'm still entertaining other offers. So then we're at the restaurant. Vanderpump is, you know, trudging through there. Like look at me completely here because it's fun and I enjoy it. I work every day. Oh, happy anniversary. Random homely lady from Nebraska. Seven years, that's when the hard work starts seven years.

Himalayan! Yeah, and then she's like, a boat epitit, everyone, and everyone's like, Kamey, seven underpone. Don't remind people of a magazine with decent food in it. We are still, sir, let's not get ourselves. So then Peter is like quizzing Brett, I feel like, about how to make a mojito or

Brett's trying to impress Peter about how to make mojito. I don't know something silly. And then Lisa sits down in like the middle of a garden and Peter's like so what can I offer you Lisa and she's like I'm going to do it after this. So I just want one one single goat cheese ball and being quiet Oh one just one got it all you saw Like he's so ask Kissy to the teachers anybody who's ever been to sir knows that this is how Peter is That's Peter's personality is sir. He gives everybody looks. Unless you've got boobs up to your like eyeballs You know, then he just stares at your boobs all the time and yes, I know because I have boobs up to my eyeballs And I don't know if you guys have seen me lately, but if I push them, they go up to my eyeballs

You get a lot of Peter attention so So then Shina checks in and then Dana's like, uh, what section are you and she just goes, Go and write. Which for some reason cracked me up, I watched it three times. Go and write, go and write. So she goes over the van her problem, she's like, How are you? She's like, darling, have you got any tables waiting?

Tell me how everything is. Well, I just had to start to read for my aggro-travel. Remember my aggro-trarival thanks for the call That was really nice for all the gifts you gave me not okay I got one egg for every minute of takes for Rob to mount a TV So At least it's like well she know how about you get together with Peter He's a reliable dog about him and she's like no, I'm having too much fun being single,

which is why all I wanna be in is a relationship. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Darling, you're talking to me. You won't desperate it'll hook her. All right, let's not pretend. You want a husband? Here's the truth, Sina.

We don't get the true story of true Sina. I just got some of them eggs taken out. What do you think? What do you want from it? You do get S she knows true stories She makes out with horse from Instagram. She makes pace pecan a sauce and shaladas in marina Del Rey And she's freezing her eggs france either so a crop top, you know, baby outfit for what else do you need to know Lisa? There's not much more to it

And she knows like well for the longest time I was this girl who always have like this boy positive spin-out things I'd be like if it weren't for getting a divorce from Shay, I wouldn't have dated Rob, and if it weren't for Rob, breaking my heart, I wouldn't have started with Adam, and if it weren't for Adam, I wouldn't have hung out with Max. If it weren't for Max, I wouldn't have gotten an Apple watch. If I hadn't gotten the Apple watch, I might not have learned about Apple care,

and if I didn't know about Apple care, I might not know about getting going to the Beverly Center and being able to exchange my iPhone, and if I didn't go to the Beverly Center, I wouldn't have known that there's new John Budges you stay and if I didn't know about the new John But you then I might have been really thirsty and then I might have like watching the road and died. So thank you I only have one correction and then Rob let the autumn I love this. He's still got all the bottom. I'm on rock. Let me know

So I'm like, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on relationship. This episode is so sheenah. So Vanderpump's like, what? Let me prove that I have your best interest in Hotshina, but you know, why don't you date Max? My god, you're just, oh, you're just horrible at this point. Yeah. She stopped. How about you actually be supportive towards somebody? Like, she's being terrible. Don't suggest that somebody date max kind of monstrous fucking empty are you Seriously, and she is like well I'm really upset because Max and Bright didn't check out my man from my soldier when I were Triff 7 eggs did you hear I was with Triff 7 eggs that didn't check out me at least is like Well, Shina, Shina can't expect that level of thoughtfulness from men that aren't her husband And you cannot expect that level of thoughtfulness from men that aren't a husband And you can't expect that level of thoughtfulness from the man that is your husband Ooooooo

Quiddly love waitissisms Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh Darling men are like buskers There will be another right along Right? Just throw dollar at their face Yes Don't ask yourselves why they don't take a bath

Darling, it's a boardwalk Men are like buses Strange things that move that poor people get on top of I thought it was buskers. Oh, no, I think she says wow. Lisa's really Lisa's really a go-man That's a very specific analogy Men are like bus because they stand in subways and sing songs that no one wants to hear well I thought that's Lisa even know what a bus is yeah that's what I'm thinking

you know like buses she's like the more people boxes you know men are like poor people boxes darling a big box stops and people who smell like spices and hope. Met her like buses or was I like to call them movable human zoos. So Peter comes up and says, I'm the only one who's in here. And she knows like, do not look at me like a bad Peter. Okay, just try to get me your sperm. Yeah. Yeah.

So, Shina, now that we go over to Dana's house, and Dana has a new guppy. I know it's a guppy, because I've been playing so much animal crossing, and I caught a guppy. What's a beta fish? Was it beta fish? Yeah, it's a beta fish. How's that a real fish? Beta fish is dressed like blanch from, um, from Golden Girls. They've always got like a long calf tan and they don't move.

They just like sit there in the tank like, I'm a beta fish. What do I want from that, Hannah? Really, I thought it was for the record. Beta fishes and guppies look very similar. They do? Yeah. This one like a guppy, just a baby fish.

That's what I thought. Look because of Animal Crossing. This is like kind of guppy. I was fish. That's what I thought but because of Adelaide crossing This is like on a guppy. I was like is that look guppy is really look like and then I looked up a guppy like two days ago And then when I saw it I was like it's a guppy, but now I'm thinking maybe it's a beta fish I am I implore you to look at the beta fish and the guppy fish and then see which is which oh for Christ sake You're trying to ruin my life here. We are like 35 minutes into this No, this is a one because now, now we've got to research people are going to say,

actually, band what it really was was a salt water cloppy fish or something like that. Okay, I'm in the Dana and Sheena scene. So let me go back here and see this first fish. But I have to say, I thought the fish looked exactly like a guppy. Okay, well just keep talking about the thing because I have to look at it. And it's like software. Let me go forward. Who's team beta? Did you know? Oh, I think it's a beta fish, but I can't tell and there is a label on the actual,

hold on, let me see. But it's like the light is on it. So you can't tell what there is a label on the actual hold on me see But it's like the light is on it. So you can't tell what it is. It looks like a beta fish Okay, now let me look up a guppy. It probably is a beta fish because I think beta fish are more common as pets guppy Do people actually buy guppies? I don't think so. Oh, maybe it no, I think oh my gosh. I don't know I'm stumped everybody. I'm gonna go with that moment of guppy surprise. It was worth all of this. Because the guppy does have that long, that big, you know, cat tail.

I never knew guppy's were so pretty, to be honest. I didn't either. These are beautiful fish. You know what? I'd love to say I would support them hiring a guppy for next season. I agree. Although my one issue with the guppy is that it looks like it's sort of looks like it just came back from Coachella. So I'm already a little annoyed at it. Yeah. It's like, oh my god, I just ate from a fat burger truck because it was there.

I'm gonna go with beta fish, but I think that you're you're gonna be right on this one. Um, okay, people say comments, like and subscribe, like and subscribe. If you're a team, get a 10. Okay, people, send them a comment. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. If you're a team, get a team, get a fashion. Like and subscribe. Okay, so we're at Dana's apartment. And the sheen is like, the injury.

She's like, first of all, how are you feeling? And I was like, oh God, here we go with the eggs again. She was like, I'm trying to air it out. And I was like, gross, sheenah. You know what, your eggs. to air it out. And I was like gross, you know? You know, your eggs. Alright, there. Source. Oh, yeah, but turns out, we get a close up of sheenas need.

Like she has just this, like gross bloody thing on her knee. Oh, that's like a big bloody hole in her knee. Yeah. Like she got like overnight gangrene or something or a leprosy, I don't know. But yeah, she's like, well, I was with my parents. I was like running along and then this guy came up with a scooter and he'd like totally hear me over. I'm like totally tall. And then I like not only fell on my hand, I fell on my face, I fell on my

vagina. I mean, shoot shot out of the Chanel because the way I had it crossed over me saved my life. Like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, like, well, my doctor told me I can't do anything active like twerking or clubbing. So I can't go to night and go to night, which is like such a van to pump rules thing to say. Okay, such a van to pump rules. Sgt. LA. Can't go to night and gals night because I can't twerker club doctors orders. Fill up a scooter in Venice, you know how it is. Yeah, and Dan is like, you're a mess, but aren't we all? It's like, God, she's perky. She's perky for someone who doesn't even have to leave her fucking apartment to shoot. How many scenes have we seen a Dana's apartment?

I'm like could you cheer up? You have a brand new beta fish perhaps guppy so cheer up So She's like you know Dana's talking about you know her mom's birthday is the same day as her Is she a super sad and she just put on the beetles and made back and cheese and hot dogs because she's gonna allow us to do that on a birthday. And so she was, she's gonna go, yeah well, okay. I told you that I've seen a slighter before and it was like amazing because my grandma came over and she was like, love your crop top.

It's like these kind of things. So I was like amazing. So I hired one for your mom to come through on your birthday. Yeah. Um, and I've also made a remix of my song. It's called Good As Ghosts. Yeah, I'm good as Ghosts. I'm not so lying. Have you ever seen someone get killed by a giant panoglass and their chest? Oh god your grandma came through. I mean, geez. That's horrifying. My grandma would just be like, oh, you're still not calling me I still I still have to come through to the three of the other world to talk to you. I feel bad for that medium that medium that had to channel

She knows grandma. You know it's like... I would like to know my grandma's here. Grandma, are you here? Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, my granddaughter. Hi, grandma. Hi. She's like, okay, I have to. I'm packing my Ouija board.

I broke a hip. I can't even twig or got a mountain girl tonight. Bleh. All crop tops go to heaven. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. A SEMA. It's like a MEMA. I'm out in girl to my All craft tops go to heaven Seema it's like a me ma but Cena's So Dana's like um that's like a lot without talking to me first like Cena you haven't lost a parent and she goes I know

But my mom has. It's my grandma. It was my grandma. I talked to her, that's why you were at it. The side dish. My brush I came through. And then she made powder. My mom was really weird. My grandma, Sima, found a boyfriend and have a,

like even my Sima is getting more boyfriend than me. Bleh! It turns out that my Sima is my whole strength. It was really weird. So Dana starts crying and she's like, oh my god, I'm sorry. It was just from the bottom of my heart and then I go out into the reveal. Baaah. I'm a gift giver.

I literally gave Max a gift of an Apple watch on Thanksgiving and that's not even a gift giving holiday. I'm really a big gift giver. If I ever brought a Christmas is watching other people open their presents No her favorite part is after everybody's open her presents crying and going, but I got you guys stuff nobody got me anything good But I'm the one who's always giving stuff to everybody Sheena you gave us a penguin. Okay So Dana's like is this psychic like here now? And she's like, um, no, I was just texting her

because I wanted to talk to you first to make sure it's, I mean, I'm not just gonna have her like now, go into your door, I mean, come on. I mean, is she here now, like in this room? No. Is she physically here? No. Is she outside this building?

I can't say, because I'm in the room, so I don't know where she is really. I mean, do we ever know where anyone really is? Right, am I right? Am I right? And she's like, yeah, I'm not really sure. So she was like, okay, well, good to see you. Really glad I didn't call that marching band over

because I was gonna have a marching band come over and sing like mom to you, but I didn't know if it was gonna be too much so glad I didn't call them. I don't do me a favor if you go outside your apartment today please don't look in the sky. I'm not saying that there is a sky rider but if there were one it might trigger you. So just don't. I'm really glad that I didn't ask that stripper to come over in that giant cake that said your mom loves it because I would be totally awkward if he was right outside your door.

Right now, I'm sure he's not. I'm just going to go make sure everything's great out there where nobody is doing anything outside your door. Please don't listen to Light FM tonight. I'm not saying that anyone made a request for Delilah, but If someone did make a request for Delilah it might trigger you So Sina opens the open the front door and we just hear this song is going out to Delilah It's like sorry about your mom written in the sky a stripper jumps out of a cake and then the sky. A stripper jumps out of a cake.

So like, sorry about your mom, girl. Yeah. There's like a flash mob happening. So the psychic is like basically downstairs in this apartment. And so we just hear Gina talking to the psychic, but she's talking so loudly that Dana can literally hear it on the second floor of the apartment. And so you just hear like, hey, so my friend who wanted to do this for it's just like a bit of show

Have your first surprise and she's like really sensitive. I'm like I wasn't expecting it Like in like I literally asked like 20 people's opinions. They everyone said it was like great idea Including my grandma who actually came through you, which is kind of totally cool only one person They didn't like it so I don't know Dana's like uh she that could you come here please she waved her over and she's like, I'm sure just hobbling over there on the edge. I said, nobody called me about. She's limps over our Christian season on crutches. So Dana brings her in. She's like, um, Sheena, I am very

confused right now because it seems like you were trying to spring this on me. She's like, I just wanted to make sure she was available if you want her. I mean, mm. She's like, um, but she's available at my apartment. Like, did you tell her to come here? She's like, well, I didn't give her your apartment number. She just knows that she if she stands out that long enough,

she can see you come out of it, which is what you actually just did. So. Dana is pissed at this. Now, I get that Sheena is completely insensitive. This is stupid. But Sheena is obviously trying to do something nice for you. You bitch.

Okay? I'm like, be nice. You don't have to be a dick. Not one of this entire episode that she said, look, I get that you're just trying to be nice. And I really actually appreciate it. That sweet of you. I just can't deal with that.

You know, it was insensitive, but I know you didn't mean it like she's a bitch about it Like why are you acting like that? Like I get why you would be hurt But it's just shitty, you know, and then to go tell everybody about it later Like can you believe she did that fuck you lady? What does anybody else done on this show for you? Except try to ruin your relationships Danica or try to fuck you and then fuck you over, like the other guys. Like, stopping an asshole. I mean, I guess the thing is, you know,

I sort of forgot that, like, at the beginning of the season, Shino was treating Dana really badly. Shino was acting like Stasi, Danna, so I think Danna probably just has her guard up and thinks that this is part of a larger plan to make Dana feel like shit, maybe? I don't know. But I agree, I thought, I thought like Dana was a bit.

I mean it is a little presumptuous I suppose but Dana could have been like you know what? Thank you so much. Let me it's too much now but maybe down the line I will I would love to connect with your psychic you know. Yeah like you're a dumb dumb. I can't believe you would do something like that. No I don't want it like no know, it's not the crying or anything that bothered me. It's just, you know, like don't, I don't know, it's sheenam, like that's sheenam like trying to be cute and I don't know, I'm just, I don't like it. Yeah. So then we go over to Villarosa where Bo is visiting, he's nervous.

He has his, his blanched Evo hair is in full effect like the more the more uneasy He is the more his hair looks like blanched up row Man, we're talking about blanched dev roe dev roe a lot today. We've got golden girls on the mind Clearly, we want the other blanch. Oh, cuz the guppy the guppy fish. Yeah, the blanch fish So he comes over for a nice ass kissing over at Villa Rosa. Would you kind of hand it to this cast, you know? Like why pay if you don't have to? Seriously? Do it free in a graveyard, then go get some free dinner at Villa Rosa. Why the fuck would you pay for anything? Exactly. And so Lisa brings bow outside to the

back. She goes, well, I was thinking that after your engagement, we could have a light kind of dinner right here, just a light dinner and then we see this table, this long table with the most elaborate or neat table scape ever. Which is, I mean we've seen it before but it's just so funny that that's like Lisa's version of a light dinner is like sitting in this, like what monks these chandeliers and candelabras and find China just a little light to do nothing big You know I I can see what you're saying and on TV that's all you seeing both like this is amazing It's paradise and you look at it and it is but remember that it smells like shit and there's like little mats Flying all over you the whole time because it's a zoo. That's true. That's true

So bow is really excited to, he's really excited he's gonna get to surprise, toss you with the engagement and then surprise or at Lisa's house. And I'm like, that's nice and theory except like literally anytime there's something significant that happens on the show, they always go and like assemble right afterwards at Lisa's house. Right, I feel like they do this after every engagement. And guess what? Everyone's at Lisa's house. Right, I feel like they do this after every engagement. And guess what? Everyone's at Lisa's house. You're making my mind. You're asking my surprise.

They're with a free ring. So that's another free thing. Hey, you want to stop. Maybe you could take the trolley here at that West Hollywood bar trolley and grab some free condoms off, by the way. You know, just have like a little free condom sex after. I mean, Jesus!

So, um, yeah, so basically the people coming to the dinner, then in the middle of this, by the way, it's like Stasi going to the gynecologist and squirming and not being happy. And then we find out that Jack's Britney-Sandival Ariana Lala, Randall and Shina are coming to the dinner, but Kristen doesn't even know about it. And Lisa's like, well, as much as I can't stand that strange inflatable person, I do think that maybe she should be there. I mean, she's been a part of your story for so many years. I have part of Star Sis development. She's the reason why Star Sis became as awful as she is now. You have to water a bitch flower in order for it to bloom. Kristen was basically the shit soil that that flower grew from.

Listen up. Also not, oh go ahead. I'm just gonna say listen, I have an ulterior motive. I was planning on sawing her in half. Magic! Also, Kristen is the reason Stasi is still on the show. When Stasi was like, you know, clung her, trying to claw her way back into the show

or sold her way back into the show, really. And Kristen was the only person that would hang out with her and made everybody else talk to her again. So, you know, like, don't bite the hand that, you know. Well, you know, Kristen was, I think it was, because I thought like, Stasi had, when she came back, the issue was that she had to get over with Kristen and then they had a big summit. No, it was Katie.

Katie wouldn't speak to her. Like Katie was, and that was the only season that Katie was likable on this show because she didn't have anyone to be mean with. Because Stasi and Kristen buried the hatchet and then I thought they had like a big summit in Palm Springs one episode. And then, well, Stasi lived with Kristen when she came back. I think Katie brought Stasi and Kristen back together, but then after that, Stasi and Katie had some sort of falling out where Katie felt like Stasi didn't treat her with respect.

When Stasi left the show, she dumped everybody. She stopped talking to everybody. And then Katie wouldn't forgive her because they were real friends and the Stasi just pretended like she was nothing. And so Stasi had to keep going to Katie and crying and Katie wouldn't forgive her. She was just like being a bitch to Stasi.

And Kristen was like, okay, you can live with me. So she had someone to shoot with. She had like a storyline. She's gonna be roommates with Kristen and all that stuff. And so now she's trying to get Christin kicked off the show. That's right. They did live with each other. That's right.

It's sometimes hard to remember all the things that happen. Season three and four are like a little bit of a blur sometimes because it was like the veil era and it was like Carmen and just people that are like who is like. It's like constantly amazing. You know, it's like constantly amazing. You know, it's like a really fun night out where you don't remember anything after. It's only the city years that you remember

every single thing, you know, the shitty nights. Yeah, pretty much. That was like, that was peak James at that time too, with James and Kristen. Kristen. So anyway, so Nightingale. So the ever we go to this club, Nightingale, I could have sworn I saw JoJo torquing, I'm not sure, but that's a general sentiment for most of the show. I always liked

it. Was that JoJo who was just twerking back there? I'm not sure. Well, there were definitely a lot of jiggly Instagram group on butt implants. Yeah, for sure. Because it was like a night at this club, so it was just a bunch of the gays and then all the newbies on Vanderpump rules. So they're there and then Dana is next to Brett and she's like, you know, you're the most beautiful man that most people have ever seen. I'm like, maybe like for Nell, but I'm like, who else? Well, she's very draw even when she says that.

So it's like, are you is a stand up? You know, she says everything the same. I just feel like. I just feel like Charlie, yeah. Charlie's watching them. She's like, run for the hell's girl. I mean, I just would not date him. Like, I don't get it.

Like, I just imagine people in bed and he'd be all emotional like, I'm really into this. I'd be like like how no get out Yeah, she's like he would cry after sex or something So there's lots of fun happening Charlie and Danica are doing the Macarena for some reason and Brett basically has a bowler over Charlie's outfit because her she has these pants on that are like the sides are like not there, but they have like

Strings or ropes that go down to basically pass or pelvis. It's a whole thing. So Brett basically has a boner about that. And he chats with James a little while for a little while about being sober and stuff. And then he is saying, well, you know, now that Max hooked up in Sin City,

then it makes me and Dana totally okay. You know, there's just one thing in my way Dan again Yeah, he's like I have no idea why Danica wants to sabotage the situation Usually I'm the guy women want to set their friends up with because they know I'm a good guy I'm like that is the the most bad guy I think to ever say Yeah, I've never heard somebody like, you know, you should totally date this guy. Does he have a job? Well, he does push-ups on Instagram and YouTube.

So he's like got subscribers. He's vegan. Does that help? I feel like the number one thing that fuck boys do is insist that they're just good guys. I mean, look at like seasons one through four of Carl on Summer House. Yeah. Yeah, true. Yeah Yeah good people aren't like hey, I'm a good person

Yeah, exactly yeah, they're too busy like help an old ladies across the street and shit. We're getting beat up by jacks Yeah, so Brett post-Dannock outside and he like, whoa, I had like 87 shots. God, I don't know why I keep using the number 87. She's like, oh, maybe you're thinking of the number 87, except from your friend to Max. I'm like, oh, good one. Yeah. Oh, I somehow missed that.

I thought I was like, I didn't understand their banter. And now that I hear you say it, I understand it. And I wish I went back to the way it was. I was like, I liked it when it didn't make sense. So basically, yeah, so Brett's there with Danica and he's like, so Janice saying that you were saying all this shit about me that I'm like thirsty. I mean just because I've got like a YouTube channel and have basically scam my way to being on this TV show doesn't mean I'm thirsty. Yeah, and she never backs down.

This robot, I think she's a bot. I don't even believe that this is real person. She talks like a robot, she blinks like a robot, she just has like a vacant eye, but she's like super. And she doesn't back down at all. She's like, well, I told her, I don't think you're the right guy for her. Like, I can't even imagine her in max having sex and then you and her having sex

Oh, why would you want to be interested in someone your friends with I mean And he's like well, and he tells us well where I'm from if you have sex the same girl It's okay and the producer's like well where you from because Jersey And she producer's like, well, where are you from? Because Jersey. And she tells us like, uh, your friend has touched the vagina that you're touching. You're working it, sir. My God.

A vagina, it's like a vagina or a penis, it's sir, is like a tray full of hot towels on a cruise. You know what I mean? Like, give me a break. It gets passed around. Everyone has it, and it's all over their faces. So, Danika is just basically saying

that Brett's just not, she just thinks that Brett's not the right person for Dana, you know? And then Brett starts, and then she's, Brett starts talking about Sheena, and then he's just like friends with Sheena, and then,

because at this point Dana comes out, and she goes, you know what's funny about that? Shina came over today and then she like brought this psychic and then she like, ambushed me with a psychic and didn't even tell me that the cycle was like, right outside my door, and I'm like, what does this have to do with anything that I know I'm just saying, you know?

So she just wants to come like me to Shina. And then Dana's listening to her, but she keeps pulling, she's got like these like bang, they're not bangs but they like parted bangs or whatever they go down the sides of her face and she keeps grabbing just like strands of them and pulling them at the same time and it's such a serial killer thing to do. I was watching Don't Fuck With Cats and the serial killer on that like that's what he kept doing. Every time I had video of him he would just be like pulling that one little thing of hair and looking in the mirror You shouldn't fuck with that. I just got an alert like two minutes ago

Is on my phone a popped up on my phone that said two pet cats in New York have tested positive for COVID-19 What a world for Christ sake cheese so um Yeah, so Dana's just going on and on about sheena and she's like you know She says one thing and that means another and she struggles with that. Oh, actually, Danica said that. And then Dana's like, yeah, I mean, I just think that like, Sheena lies all the time. She's like, not honest with herself.

You know, I just never know what to say about her. Anyway, can we stop talking about Sheena and go inside? I'm like, you're the one who brought her up. Yeah, you brought her up. You're an asshole. Go inside. I'm sick of you. So now, Lala and James are in the studio. Yeah, Lala walks into the studio and she's like, what's up family? And you just can see these producers are like, oh God, this white girl.

You know, they go home after that. And I'm like, oh, well, the money was good. Yeah, it would have to be. So he goes in and flails his hands around and does like his white boy rapping, which will never be not awkward to me. I'm sorry, I can't. I mean, you think that bounce slow, bounce up, bounce slow, bounce up is awkward? Just so, and the way he's just like, he looks like he's having some kind of a seizure the way he's just like flip his hands are like flying around. And then she goes in and her voice is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, she's like, she even singing, she's basically a Cassio keyboard.

Yeah, she goes, so the cups in the front seat, you know, I don't drive. I'm like, um, isn't this weird that you're saying lyrics that are implying, um, booze or, or more than booze in your solo cups, and yet you're all about sobriety? Is it me? Is that strange? I don't know. Well, her, she doesn't say, you know, I don't drive. She says, you know, I don't drink. So the song is about like staying sober. Never mind, I thought she's having a hard drive. I was like, oh, so she has so much fun, she's got doesn't need a driver. No, she's saying, I don't drink, she says, I don't even drink, but you have alcohol on the car,

but just because I don't drink doesn't mean I can't have an open container in the car. Like I'm still a badass, even though I don't drink. That's what I got. I take it all back, I take it Lala, I take it back. Your lyric works. And you gotta love sobriety songs. Yeah, and to quote dreams.

This is so conye though. The guys are just like, oh God. You know what I'm doing? You produce the guys like, oh geez. You know there is one excellent sobriety song. I think it's more of an abstinence song than it is a sobriety song, but it kind of feels like it pushes a sobriety angle too. Do you know what I'm talking about? We don't have to take a close-off to have a good time. Oh no, we can't dance in party all night and drink some cherry wine

I'm a sweet cherry wine is not alcoholic right I don't know but I don't bother with that shit, okay We've all got our own disasters of life. I've got food, okay. Yeah So yeah, they sing their song about chips and then James is like oh my god God, it's so much better than I thought. And they talk about how he's still having nightmares that he'll wake up sweating thinking, oh my God, I fucked up, I'm drunk.

And then realize, no, I didn't fuck up, I'm just hot. Yeah, that was actually nice. They were bonding about sobriety and how hard it was. And it seems like he is learning for the first time So we'll see hopefully that will last but Lala is basically saying that she wants to see James do well James in So things seem to be on the up and up between the two of them Yeah, she wants to see James do well until the witches tell her not to Yeah, then she'll fuck them over again. Which would be really fun. So over Sir Brett Willis is training.

Brett, Brett. Yeah, how to bartend. And also, Raquel is serving. So this, they keep on showing the same footage of Raquel serving the same table. I know this because we know one of the people at the table. So like, it's always over and over again. It's Raquel serving him over and over and over again.

It's like, okay, producers, can we like change up our B-roll here? Please, thanks. Who is it? Over and over and over again. It's like okay producers. Can we like change up our B-roll here? Please thanks Who is it? He his name is Pat and he's the boyfriend of Why am I suddenly Paul? Paul you know him talking about yeah, yeah, yeah, oh my god. I didn't even realize that was him. Yeah, how funny? It's Pat. I think it's not talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, I didn't even realize that was him. Yeah, how funny? It's Pat. I think it's Pat. Unless maybe it's not Pat, but I'm pretty sure it's Pat.

So Sina is out in the smoking area texting really fast. I see every nails clicking up against that phone. Yeah, there's like people are like receiving more code messages like strange more code messages across the country. I know. So then Brett comes out and he's like, how are you? And she just ignores him and keeps texting and it's just, wow, oh, she like puts her phone down. It's like every other respondent the other day. I would have told you. He's like, well, you know, I wanted to text you, but I knew you were going through all that,

some shit with all the eggs and everything. And she's like, well, I didn't touch the other end. She's like, and she basically is mad because he didn't text her to say like, hey, how are you doing? How are you feeling? Yeah, but I had to rewind it to catch this. So he goes, I wanted to text you, but I knew you were going through stuff with the eggs,

and I hadn't texted you. And then I was like, oh God, if I texted you now and said, hey, I just saw this. Hope you're doing okay. Then you'd get mad that I saw your text late. So you just thought if you said nothing, that that would be better. You know what?

I just saw other standware. I'm so just good for some people. Don't give a back. Like why is everybody else unwrapping amazing Christmas prizes and I don't have anything to run around? She's like, I'm just like kind of over it. Like, why is everybody else unwrapping amazing Christmas presents and I don't have anything to interrupt? Ah! She's like, I'm just like kind of over it. Like, what are you gonna do when you're in like a relationship? Like, you're just gonna ignore your girlfriend? Like, what if theoretically like, I'm your girlfriend? Are you just gonna ignore me? Like, theoretically if we get married, okay?

Are you just gonna ignore me once we're married? And what about once we get a car? And what about if when we want to move out to Valley Village? Like, everyone else? Like, you're just gonna ignore me then? Like, what do you think what do you think and also when you get proposed to me what's going on with a relationship. He's like that usually you text me if there's something wrong just exactly I call you I text you it's like one sided on this marriage as really gonna need some work. I'm going to get that right now. I think it's time that we redo our honeymoon. You know what I'm saying? Listen, if we're going to redo our vows, right now, you better do some work, I'm going

to start, okay? Oh, yeah. So he's like, this isn't fair, which is probably what he says in any situation because he's pretty. And so then, uh, Dan, well, well, Dan, see somebody shooting, hey, Dean, this, Dan, see somebody shooting a scene, I wonder if she's going to walk right into it and go, what are we talking about? Cause that's what she does in every single scene. Okay. Calm down. Lady, you're doing too much. Yeah. Seriously. So she swaps out with Brett, basically, he goes back inside and she's like, you know, I just feel like, you know, we are always taking one step forward and two step back,

you know, it's just, it's hard. I got a lot of my mind. I got a new guppy. Some people say it's a beta fish. I don't really know what it is, but I think it's already dead. She was like, well, look, I felt that you were like, really upset.

And it was a miscommunication. I'm sorry. And then he goes, yeah, well, why did you start to cry? It's like, because I just wanted to roll. And she's crying again. Yeah. But I just was trying to make this smile, because I know that you're both sad. And she's crying again Yeah, but I just was trying to make you smile because I know that you're good And she's like well, I definitely don't want to keep having conversations where things are like happening

So let's just do better hey fuck off Dana. This wasn't even your scene. Go away. Yeah, I don't like it if someone tells me Let's just do better. I'm like let's just shut the fuck up. How about that? Yeah, you're gonna get smacked if you tell me to do better. I know. Like, I'm already, I'm at my best. And if you can't handle me my best, then that's terrible for you. Yeah, Dana, I turned on Dana this episode. I don't like her anymore. Maybe I'll like her again next week, but I like her a lot up until this point But today I was like fuck you stopping me to Shino like everybody just shits on Shino all the time

You know, and then no she does not been perfect, but she's actually making an effort. Yeah, she does actually Shinas had to Like fall in a sword shoot with you guys to make you relevant to the cast so be nice to her Be nice to sheena. So now we go over to Kristen carrying in a bunch of cauldrons to the Witches of WeHo party, which is incidentally at the same location where Vita's retirement party was a few weeks ago on Shaz of Sunset. Oh wow. So they've got an in over there. Yeah. It's farmhouse is the new mixology 101. So Kristen is like, well, I've been spoken to or seen the witches. This is the second wedding, but you know what, we're here to sell the wine and keep our

nose to the grindstone. I was just praying that Kristen would just drop all the colgons all over the place. I was waiting for that moment, you know, where she was going to just be carrying in like six of them in her arms, like almost there, almost there. Oh, they fell. Yeah. And Kristen walks in and she's working with the staff and getting everything set up. And then Katie and Stasi walk in. I'm just don't you shit. Yeah, they're like the shining twins just standing in the hallway, but they're actually at a wine party instead. Yeah, they're awful. God. Yeah, and Christians like you know what? I'm doing a lot of work for this and like Katie to work credit pops in here in

there, but Stasi does nothing. She doesn't even post better on her social media. That's all she has to do. Yeah, and then they get shots like the guy gives them something to drink and they're like cheers cheers and the stossie puts her back to Kristen. G. I'm exhausted. I don't know. I can't. I mean, it's so awesome. Like it's nice to see Stossie back to being stossy, but it's also like

reinvigorating my old feelings. Look, fuck off lady. Geez. You're making me stand up for Kristen and that is, I can't believe I've reached this point in life where I'm standing up for Kristen about something. I know. Well, at the paradoxical nature of Stasi, which is that we want her to be bitchy and evil like she was in season one and season two.

But then when she is, then we can't help but then react negatively towards it. So it's this weird, masochistic relationship that the audience has with Stasi because when she's nice and mature, it's like, why are you here? And then when she's off, you's like, why are you here? And then when she's awfully like, why are you here? Well, yeah. And it's like, you want to see the weapon aimed at the right thing. You know

what I mean? Like, I want to see the evil, but I want to see you being evil today. No, or Jack, why is Dana getting a pass? I want to see your be. I want to see you rip apart the new people. I don't want to see you like rip apart, like a wounded bird. Like take down some fresh game You know you've got plenty of it there. It's like you're hunting old people You like you're hunting. Yeah, you're hunting old animals. This is what I'm not age-wise But it's like you're just hunting like in your backyard. You're not going up. I'm fresh exciting game darling I want us to get real mad at Brittany. I think that would be delightful for the audience

Yes, take down Brittany. She hasn't been taking down a peg yet. Ever. Ever. Because she's too nice or like, quote unquote, nice, you know? Yeah. So then the women, the witches of WeHo gather to be interviewed by a reporter from Us Weekly, who's asking questions like, what's it like collaborating? And they're all like, we see like a flashback of them all just like fighting and squabbling and Katie's like Oh, it's actually been very easy actually She's like well, what do you guys argue about mostly? Oh friend stuff seriously seriously? It's not really about our business

I just see the marketing about like I fucking hate this wine. I'm not very good this wine. We have different ideas about the wine blah blah blah blah. Oh fake the alarm So then everybody comes to this party. It's a rather time. And Santa falls like, well, I've got a great idea for your pipeline. How about we go play some softball against each other, Tadah, Danica? Well, yes, I'll buy people gonna love that shit. I'm already dreading this.

Like I'm having flashbacks to when they played kickball on real house was of Atlanta I don't like I don't like playground sports in our bravo shows It it's never really bad. It's what's more entertaining for the cast than it is for anyone watching because no no one's invested in it No real drama comes out of it and all that happens is that the post department does a bunch of funny graphics and that's it Yeah, so they're gonna do that And Danica looks totally bored with it, but she's like, I guess I should do fucking something. Yeah, I think it was actually Danica's idea, not sand devalze idea.

Oh, it was? Yeah, I think so. I think that's based the pictures. Oh yeah, it was so random. Oh yeah, it was so random. And his idea was like, Oh, well the losing team has to cleave the other team's bathroom, bro.

Yeah, dude, the losing team gets arrested, but it's prank. So then Brett pulls Dana aside and no max. Sorry, sorry, still getting them confused. Boring pulls Dana aside. And he's like, oh, hey, what's going on? And she's like, oh, how was Vegas? I heard you made that with a new friend. How was that? Oh, yeah, it was amazing. And Max is like, um, and I heard about you and Brett making out. She's like, yeah, well, Brett said that you were totally cool, that he goes, well, I was trying to play it cool, but I was frustrated. I'm like, you don't get to be frustrated, Max, because she came back to you and you said, no, we can't get back together. So you, you forfeited the right to be

frustrated by anything that Dana does. I mean, it's only frustrated because they told him to be. Brett was like, dude, aren't you gonna be frustrated? He's like, oh, okay, I guess we'll be frustrated. It's like, okay, now we can shoot a scene. So Dana's like, whatever, like, we can both agree that there doesn't need to be this issue because this is lame.

Lame. Meanwhile, Ariana is like, I'm five glasses deep in the rosé and I'm drunk and toasty. Look at me. Look how wasted I am right now. Did you hear me slur my syllable almost? Yeah. So drunk.

And she's telling Lala the sober one. She's like, yep, pretty wasted. I'm long, I'm long, I'm long. So Lala gushes about James and Ariana's like, yeah, I mean, that's great. And this is not going to. So a lot of gushes about James and Arianna's like, yeah, I mean, that's great. Is that wasted anymore? So that's good. I wonder if he's got a couch that could borrow. Yeah, great. You know what I love flooring. Am I right, everyone? Wow, Arianna's wasted. So then Stasi and Bo are talking and he's nervous right because Vanderpump is forcing

him now to this Kristen story of I'm and he knows he's going to get his ass kicked because all Stasi is talking about is how he can't speak to Kristen. Yeah, pretty much. So he's nervous and she's like sensing that something's wrong, you know. And so he's like, so is this event good? Like is this a good turnout for this? I'm not really sure. Ariana is comparing the wallpaper to a picture on her Pinterest. So she must be wasted. All I have to say is that my hair is at peak Ruma clan of hand at the moment. So I have a lot of anxiety about being in the same room as you and Kristen. Maybe you guys can just still be friends,

but keep it at arm's length and stuff. He's like, I can't, you can't do that with Kristen. You can't keep it at arm's length. First of all, her arms are the most floppy as things in the world. I don't even know what the length of her arm is because it's always in motion, okay? I'm over it, I'm over it, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

Dude, so I'm stressing the out of bed, not being friends with someone Why can't I just be allowed to outgrow a friendship with someone without everyone asking me about it? She starts going full on stossy yeah and crying and having a fit and She's like oh my god. Why is this even an issue? He's like, jeez, sorry, I didn't want to make it a thing. So then we, we, we, but by the way, the reason why it's an issue is that we've been watching this show for nearly a decade and we've seen friends just have the biggest falling out that you could never imagine

them ever coming back from and then being besties a year or two later. So we know that it's gonna, it's gonna be fine. Ultimately, they will be friends again and everyone knows that, which is just like, don't make this mistake. Just like lock this in because otherwise, she will be able to lured this over you for the rest of your life. Yeah. So then we see other shots of the party. Christians like trying to be happy and dance.

And yeah, she's like one of those inflatable things out in front of the oil change place. And we get a lot of their love post, which post in number, witty witch or whatever. And then Lala's giving Mac chip for Bingy, the doppelganger. And then we just get a shot of Cena and Mac, and she goes, um, well, yeah, I like had surgery. No one called me or checked, and called me. It's like, of course, you should probably told everyone that. She's like, oh, are you the manager here? Guess what?

I'm out of server and no one called her checked in on me. So, so then Kristen Corners bow, she's like, oh, are we still friends? Are we friends? Is that what friends are for? Can we listen that song together and then actually reply to us? Can we?

Seriously? He's like, yeah, we're friends, Kristen, but like, can I still come up and give you a big hug? No, I just can't do that anymore. It's stuck. He's watching from afar, so angry. Just getting madder and madder.

Yeah, she's getting so mad at Bo. And he's doing just what she wants anyway. So I don't know why she's getting so mad. And she's Christians like, so we can't be friends. And he's like, no, because if she and he's like no because if she's upset You know if she's upset with someone then I don't want to upset her more and she nails it when she goes so you're afraid of her at which point Stoss and Katie swoop in and they pull it down play with us, but they're like so chris and it's like oh I'm speaking to my friend It's like my boyfriend AF

I'm speaking to my friend and sauce like my boyfriend AF She's like oh, it's not appropriate to fight at our wine party So she hugs away Oaks away and then Stasi just starts getting so mad So there's Stasi and Bo's aren't fighting right in the middle of the restaurant and Stasi's like you don't know or anything Do you want to run after her? Do you want to are you you upset that about your friendship is ending because I am shook. I am shook Yeah, and he's like, uh, you know, yeah, I am quite upset because oh my god Why you sub said about her you keep choosing Chris and over Because I'm not just then don't because you don't choose who my friends are saucy

I know I know you guys are bad, but she's still my friend. Why are so affected by this you're holding on to something weird you're holding on to something weird? You're holding on to something weird. Oh god. You're literally holding on to a skull right now What Alexa's doing she's like at a disco right now did I trigger? Union. Yeah, I think so she is she heard you it's really weird. Alexa's like I have something to say about this Yeah, so thank you, it was really weird. Alexis, I have something to say about this. Yeah, it's like, fuck you, Stasi. So they're fighting back and forth, and then Stasi is like, you know, you can either go home with Kristin or go home with me.

I feel so embarrassed and so weird, and I can't believe you're doing this to me right now. Look at me, look at me. She's like, turns on to full monster, which is great. And even with Bo, it was like, Jesus Dossie. Yeah, and he doesn't chase her out. He's like, well, someone is not getting their fake hair extension things comb later. I'm gonna tell you that right now. He's like, you're yelling at me. He says, I don't care. I am your person. Am I not? Am I not? Am I not? Bow, am I not? Am I not? Am I not bow? Am I not? Am I not? Am I not?

That is crazy. She's acting like a fucking lizard. She actually put on Twitter. L.O.L. at all the peep. This is no direct quote, but it's something like L.O.L. at all the people shocked and telling bow to run as if he didn't know he was dating a psycho already. And I don't know if you noticed this when Stasi finally

leaves in the background, Shina is watching the whole thing and you just see her eyes going like left and right like, huh? Huh? Don't say that. It was amazing. That brings us to the end of Vanderpromp rules. Yeah, big cliffhanger.

Stasi standing curbside at the Beverly Center. Who knows what could happen? So that brings us to the end of that one. We will be back tomorrow with Vander, no, tomorrow is a real house with the Beverly Hills. And we're gonna do Summer House and New York on Friday. Yeah, everybody.

So we will see you then. And the meantime, go enter the Ibat Roomba contest on our Instagram and Check out our videos and crap and sunton band get your Isolate t-shirts and we're also both on cameo if you need cameo is come on again. I'm y'all. Yeah, I'm sure love you I will talk to you all in the next episode Hey prime members you can listen to watch or crap and add free on Amazon music Bye! survey.