Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: I SheShoo Do

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Scheana and Brock tie the knot on this week's Vanderpump Rules (S10E10) and Katie rage comes a flyin' after news of the Scwartz and Raquel kiss hits the streets. Also, we talk a bit about Sandoval's interview with Howie Mandell. This week's premium bonus is a recap of Tom Schwartz' appearance on WWHL. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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I'm Ronnie, guess what I'm with? Saban, little key play band. Hi, hi, band. How's it going? It's gone pretty well. I mean, I can promise you this much. I'm never gonna cheat on you for eight months and then fucking tell how we man-de-le about it.

You better not, you better not. You better not lop off the last, the KER of my name and go to a different Mandel about it? You better not, you better not. You better not lop off the last, the KER of my name and go to a different Mandel, okay? Okay. I will wait for a better interviewer to talk shit about you. I promise you that in my little love muffin. Please, like please, like if we have a,

like a terrible falling out and it gets really dramatic and they're scandal involved, my only request of you, two requests, don't make out with someone on our group, but also please tell your side of the story on a podcast that's like not embarrassing. That is embarrassing, that was embarrassing. So everybody welcome.

Can you do a kitty-coric or? Nothing but something. I know, you're not. The only less of pro-I will take is Gail King. Okay. Joel, I would even accept Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen? No. He wouldn't even love me in his church.

I'm just saying, I'm just saying at least, at least there's got to be something better than the Howie Mandel's podcast. We're actually not going to have anything against Howie Mandel. We're actually not going to have a breakup trying to decide who we're going to be something better than how we Mandel's podcast. We're actually have nothing against how we Mandel We're actually have a breakup trying to decide who we're gonna be interviewed by I cannot believe you just lost in So embarrassing Okay, so you prefer to have how we Mandel versus Joe Okay, I guess I guess how we Mandel isn't actually problematic, so that helps he is now

I don't think how we Mandel really realized how canceled he was about to be when he went to work yesterday. Much like we never know how canceled we're going to be when we come to work for Vander Pump Rules Day. So welcome everybody for Vander Pump Rules. That was a joke, everybody. Okay. No, I'm going to get, hey, may I be like, Ben, I know it was a joke, but Joel Osteen has

done some terrible things. You shouldn't even joke about on your podcast. You're not going to be amplifying the audience voice and giving a platform. He has. I mean, like, he turned away hurricane victims and shit because he didn't want to get a church dirty. I mean, fuck that queen. I'll save all that money on private planes, et cetera. I just don't think that that people, like,

I don't feel like religious leaders should have private planes. That's just my general. Yeah, I don't think Jesus would really like that. I'm just going to go. I can't speak for Jesus, but he can speak through me. He doesn't like it. Okay, so everybody, welcome to the show today. Vanderpump Rules Day, big day.

We also did a bonus this week, which was a recap of the Schwartz Watch What Happens Live episode, which was pretty bad. I mean, that was one day of TV this week where we thought, wow, God, the men on this show couldn't look any worse this week and then came time number two. So before we get into that, we are back onto our next week. We're, it's all the under June basically, but we've had a couple weeks to chill at at home. Next week we're heading to Toronto. That one sold out, but the next night, the 22nd is in Philadelphia.

That is not sold out. It's a huge theater. Come see that. It's going to be fun and it's going to be a Vanderpump rules recap. So the next Vanderpump rules recap after this will be on the weekend for those of you just listening and for those of you wanting to watch live. That's where you're going to do it. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and Toronto will be doing greenhouse wives of New Jersey. Then in May, we are in New York at Town Hall, another huge one,

Washington, DC, another huge one. So please go buy tickets for those. Okay, we don't want bed to look stupid. And then in that drill, I'm sorry. And then after that, and June, we end up in San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago Columbus, Boston, and Manchester Tucket, and the Foxwoods casino and resort of bigger finale. So go get your tickets and watch what happened. Watch what crapens.com, not what, what's that, what they don't sell, they don't sell for it. Watch what crap ends.com. So let's get into it. I'd just like to give a shout out by the way. I got a shout out. CNN did a piece about top 26

cookbooks to get that our friend Jolie wrote. And I was very fortunate to be included in that article. So go look that up and support that article. So thanks for including me, Jolie wrote, and I was very fortunate to be included in that article, so go look that up and support that article. So thanks for including me, Jolie. You have a cookbook? No, no, it's an article about the top 26 cookbooks to buy right now. Oh, and you're just wondering the article. Oh, how cool.

So I'm just saying, like, go, because our friend Jolie wrote it. So I was just gonna say, everyone go click on it, give it some nice impressions and traffic. That is so bad ass congrats. Where is it on now? It's on CNN. So I don't have like I think it's like CNN slash this slash that slash that so just look up something about cookbooks and CNN That is awesome been congratulations. So everybody just search lame stream media Just look fake news lash cookbooks. Okay, so this how we meant to all thing people have gone crazy. This came out I guess yesterday it apparently happened because howie knows one someone who works with Tom like his drummer

or something like that. And so, first off, did you, you don't listen to this, right? This how we think. I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't do it. I couldn't, I'm still like, I'm still sort of like processing that whole shorts thing. And I'm like, I just don't think I can dive into sand of all just saying bullshit on how he mandal's podcast.

And the truth is we're joking, I don't have anything against how he mandell. I just is such a random place to have like an expose that I'm like, what the fuck? So I'm just like, I don't want, cause I'm like, I don't go to how he mandell also for like, bravo stuff. I don't go to my bravo stuff

and I don't go to him for like, I don't know how I should write anything. I like math. So I'm like, I don't wanna listen to this cause it's not gonna be the right forum. I don't think I like anything. Yeah, so I'm like, I don't want to listen to this because it's not going to be the right forum. Like, I either want someone to be asking tough questions or I want like someone who really knows their bravo. So I was like, I don't know if I can do this.

Well, he did it with his daughter, his co-host is his daughter, Jacqueline Jackie. And so she's like, obsessed with the show. I'm like, a self-sustner that. So I guess they have like a father daughter thing going on for their podcast, which is cute, you know? But he literally doesn't know anything about it. So she does, but she's also, you know,

not gonna really be hard on Tom Sandeval, you know, because she's kind of fanning out at the same time. So basically, this starts really awkwardly. And by the way, this isn't a full recap. I only got halfway through it. I was listening to it driving around and yelling, yelling at the yelling at the howie on the screen. But I didn't listen to the whole thing. Just in general though, howie, you don't need to have people walk in at the beginning. You know what I mean? Like, have them sit down before you start the podcast. Because he does this thing like, hey, we're going to talk to our net our guest today is,

it's a, it's unbelievable. He's about to walk in. Okay, it is Tom, Tom. Okay, walk over here. Okay, yeah, sit there. Okay, that's going to be that mic. Okay, yes, sit on that mic. So go ahead and take that one. Okay, Tom's here. Tom, he's like, hey, dude. So first of all, just a general podcast notes, maybe have everybody sitting down first in general. You know what I mean? Okay, so that's trivial. So then they start talking about how he knows Tom

and they were at a wet, they have a mutual friend and they were both at the wedding. And of course, as we know, happens at weddings with Tom Stantapall, he gets up and sings a song, he gives everybody a nice rendition of something because it's Tom. So he's like, yeah, if I recall correctly, Tom, you sang and Tom goes, actually, yeah, that was a Toto Africa,

I believe. So it's like, oh, so hardy and grossy. Not that that song's gross or anything, but just because Tom's taking himself so seriously as an artist and you got it LOL. So then he starts, finally, when it gets into the breakup and stuff, the way he talks about it is just so gross. His basic, the gist of it is that he and Ariana hadn't been a couple for a really long time because she's really mean to him and he is really nice. He's like really nice and open and they were both suffering depression but when Tom has

depression, it's like happy person depression guys. He goes out, he like hangs out with his friends and is generally nice to people whereas Ariana just stays in bed all day and You know isolates herself and it's just horrible to be around She's impressed so got to love that in a romantic partner like you my my long-term girlfriend's depressed It was just isn't bad gross gross. Grossest depression I've ever experienced was in my partner. You don't recommend it to anybody.

So he basically says that after Boyz Night, he confirms that it was after Boyz Night that he hung out with Brett from Del Bar and Raquel. And they ended up going to see you next Tuesday. and then they ended up back at Tom's place, Ariana's home and Raquel and Tom got really close and how it's like in your own backyard and he's like, well bro come on, we got like a fire bit, okay, we got like a fire bit back there and so like, guys, we were talking and then like, we just like made out and like,

let me tell you, I've never felt anything like that because I was just hurting so bad. And it brought me back to life. So you are just such. Wow. I mean, my hacky middle age loser. Like you are such a stereotype dude. It's like, you turn and also because he turned 40 and he's like and it was like some kind

of life crisis. Yeah, a midlife crisis, Tom. And literally what they're called, you fuck night. And Arianna's like inside morning her dog. The guy that guy's night happened during that Arizona vacation and Arianna left that vacation because her dog died. So she's in there in a state of mourning and sad and depressed and Tom is in the backyard

making out of Raquel. That is so bad. That's really bad. But he makes it very romantic, you know, because we were so like, she brought him back to life, dude. And it's like deeper than you can imagine. It wasn't just some makeup. It was beat.

So then he keeps saying he keeps using a lot of shorts type language, where he's like, well, I was trying to break up with her. And I, you know, I told her we were broken up. And it went unspoken. I'm like, what did you do? Or did it go unspoken? You fucking liar. He just lies.

The whole thing is lies and lies. And then how he's justifying everything he's telling him, because how he's hearing only this, he doesn't watch a show. So how he's just like, well, that's normal. You know, you get in a relationship and things start to go sour, then you grow apart, and then you start having feelings for someone else, totally normal, dude. Like, great, good for you, you know? Yeah, but you end one relationship

before you move on to the next. Which his daughter did say, but she said it like this. Yeah, but like, I feel like, like, when you do that, like, maybe you like break up with the person first, I am like, oh, no. And also, after Tom said, yeah, and I was on the phone. And no, when I broke up with her, oh no, when I was kissing Rick Hell, I'm sorry,

it was just a long interview. He's like, when I'm kissing Rick Hell and my whole life, you don't even understand. My, I just, everything came back to me. I felt something like I'd never felt before. And then you hear, did, did, did, did, did, did, did. I felt something like I never felt before. And then you hear, da da da da da da da da. And I was like, oh my God, sorry. I forgot to turn off my ringer.

Ah! Oh my God. She takes it. So, she takes it. It's like the faux serious moment. I just ruined it. But yeah, so far the gist is just that everything is very on as fault because she's a moody bitch

and that he wanted to break up with her a million times. He's like, but dude, you don't understand because she's really hard. But if she feels like she's not winning an argument, she flips over the monopoly board and just leaves the room. But also, it's not just to wear a couple. We're a brand. And he described them as a brand about 10 times at least.

They're saying we're not a brand. You're not a brand. Give a book. That's not a brand. A book is not a brand, okay? And if it were a brand, then they'd have another book by now. You don't even have a couple name.

Like you don't even have a Tom Rihanna. Or an Ariant Tom. Or Sand Mix or whatever. Like you don't even have a Tom Rihanna or an Ariant Tom or sand mix or whatever. Like, you don't even have a couple name. You're not a fucking brand, you fucking loser. And he's like, well, I feel like I'm in the royal family or something. I'm just from a reality show. And I can't believe, you know, it's like ruined everything. And you know, snooki, I mean, just a reality guy.

It's like snooki has an affair with someone, no one cares, you're no snooki either. So I don't know who the fuck you think you are, you have recognition, name recognition now because you're a piece of shit with your scandal. But this is very... Or you can't say, oh my goodness, like, why are people so invested in me? And then also say, oh, we're a brand.

Like, the saying announcing that you're a brand literally implies that people so invested in me and then also say, oh, we're a brand. Like, saying announcing that you're a brand literally implies that people are invested in you. Like, that people care enough that you are now in entity that's like worthy of making money. And so you can't be like, well, we're a brand. There's like a lot to lose and then say, oh, why do people care so much? Well, you just said it because you're on this show.

I mean, it is kind of amazing how much scandal all has been one of these transcendent scandals that has, it's not just like, oh, Tom and the Wann broke up, which was like a fun, well that was a fun fraughty scandal that we all just sort of loved. But, you know, we've seen cheating scandals before, but this one is like, this one's just on another level, and I think it's just like the perfect storm of of of a scenario wherein you have something one narrative playing out on TV that's totally counter to what is happening in real life and it's just like it's it's it's crazy but he just sounds like a piece

of shit on this podcast. I've seen good works. Yeah, are you looking at the quotes now? Go forward. Yeah, I was looking at some of them? Go for it. I was looking at some of them, but no, I'm just say, even from yesterday, you were telling me some stuff, but just sounds like the fact that he's like blaming it on her depression. That's just one of the grossest things that people do. And I understand it's probably difficult and challenging if you have a partner who's going through something like that. I don't know what one does, but I think this is not what one does.

I think there are probably resources you can turn to. Then because I'm looking on Reddit here, you sent me a Reddit link that someone summarized this whole thing. So this is from the NANDER Valentine's Day. So thank you guys over there for doing this whole thing. We'll see you in the name. Let me look at the user name. This was by underscore killer tofu 21 So thanks for putting I like that killer tofu

So thanks for putting this together. It is extensive if anybody wants to read a really long, you know, point-by-point interview recap go check the sound on vendor pump rules subreddit. Um, but one of the things that this is not, I didn't hear this part because I'm only halfway through, but she said, or they say, so I listened to the whole thing. I'm not sure we can confidently say sand of all said area on a threatened suicide. Um, and then it says, ETA number three, I went back and listened and I was wrong. This exact quote happens at 56 minutes, trigger warning. So you've been trigger warned, okay?

And Tom says, it was just like fully into Nile. It scared me, it really scared me. You say, why didn't you just break up with her then? It's because of the threat of suicide, the threat of self-sabotaging. You know how much that hurts me? She's been on the show and going to throw that away. So I guess he's claiming that she said, I heard him say, and I'm not claiming that he didn't say this, but around the 30-minute mark, he said something along the lines of,

I was hinting at her that I wanted to break up, because when he, after he kissed Rekel, supposedly started going to therapy, because he needed to figure out how to get with Rikkel or figure out his feelings or whatever. And then he asked Rikkel to go to couples therapy. So they went to a couple therapy, a couple of couples there. No, I'm sorry, with Ariana. So they went to a couple of couples therapy and he was going to try and break up with her and couples therapy, which is so shitty because you're in one way, it's like,

okay, well, that's the best thing. You're gonna do this with a therapist around, so you don't make mistakes, but on the other, you're giving somebody hope that you're trying to work something out when you're really just there to break up with them. Right? So then he says almost angrily that,

you know, and then after that she became like amazing. It was like crazy, like she was so nice and she was so great and she actually asked me, like a couple of times I was talking and she would say, you know what, good point, Tom, I can really see what you're saying there. Like who is this? Like really, you think I'm smart

and whoever gets that Ariana is gonna be a really lucky person. Whoever gets that version, I was like, fuck you. And then he's mad at her for suddenly becoming nice. That's what you do in therapy. She's seeing that you need more from her and she's giving you more. And meanwhile, you're fucking one of her best friends. I mean, yeah.

Absolute garbage human being. And of course, made himself to victim the whole time then has how he kissing his ass the whole time and telling him how normal all of this is and how this is just a part of life and this is great. You know, really not good stuff. I will finish listening to it later. I don't know how much I need to talk about it.

Look how long I've already went off, just by myself. I don't know that. I'm glad you applaud you for doing the homework that I should have done, but I just wasn't ready to do it yet. I was like people are like, oh it's it's this I I just everyone's saying, oh you gotta listen you gotta listen and I just I wasn't there yet. And plus also everyone's like you gotta do it. You gotta do a recap of it. and I was like I just I can't I can't do it. I can't do it. We are doing so many episodes right now and we're doing we are touring and all this stuff. I was like I'm just I'm just not going to add a recap of the Howie Mandel podcast onto our onto our plates right now. You know I got a lot of my

please. Well some recaps you know usually recaps are super fun for us because you get to like imitate the different people like the watch Happens recap was fun. It's like we get to make Andy jokes and like gold suit jokes about that kid and stuff But this is just how he meant to help doesn't pay attention doesn't know what's going on He's not even a part of anything knows nothing jacklin was fine, you know But this is basically just a platform for Tom, Sandevol, Salaya's asked without much of a challenge for a solid hour. So fuck you, fuck him.

I'm not going to, that's it. I gave you half my, I gave you half my hour. That's all you're getting, sir. I'm sure I'm going to have to listen to your drivel and your lies many more times throughout my life. We have a whole reunion for him to spew all this garbage. And I will say I think it's funny that like the last point on this Reddit thing is that

he shaved off his mustache and signified new beginnings, dude. Wow, what a beautiful symbolic sacrifice that you've made shaving off your porn stash. And how am I doing this thing thing, how he meant Dulls, it's like, oh my God, I'm so wacky and funny. I shaved his mustache. How he meant Dulls thing is always about cleanliness and germs, like you won't shake hands

with people because he doesn't want germs. How would you have any cast member from Vanderpump rules if you're really that germophobic? You know? Stupid. And then he was saying, oh, my message about life, being how we meant to hell, is I'm all about mental health and talking about depression.

And really getting that message out there, and so this whole thing was how we make it. Like, yes, Tom, what I'm hearing is, you're a man, a man with depression, a man who like, stop projecting your fucking depression bullshit onto this. Also, you've got him talking about someone where he's basically criticizing this girl's mental health and blaming it for his actions throughout the entire interview. Shut up with your full mental health, woke bullshit, sir. Well, anyway, why don't we move on to the recap? Poor thing. Poor thing.

But anyway, let's... Let's move on to the recap. Hold on. Let me let that episode... Let me let that go. Yeah, I got to say, I was like, I don't want to fall too much into like... Who's the best episode? I want to appreciate the fact that this episode of Phantom Roles was pretty amazing in my, I was like, this is a great episode. It just had it all. It was just, it just, I

was like very entertained by it. It was just a lot of ridiculousness on display. And, but it's also a supersized one. So we should just dive in. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's coming. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty, and now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you gotta keep the overall cost down. And thankfully, there's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs, and that is Zip Recruiter. From pricing to technology, everything that Zip Recruiter does is for you

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Exactly impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what, we can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer

for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet and it's meat Plant meat correct So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill grab some impossible beef summer of impossible start making meat history today Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling So it opens up where we left off was Schwartz and Ritel making out in full sight of literally everyone and just barely Katie.

It looked like, I mean, like, but very easy for Katie to see because the producers put Katie's table basically on the threshold, like she bases having dinner behind like the catering bar at this party that she knows having. So they're making out. They're not only making out, they walk through the pool to be at the center table in the pool is in the center of the entire party. And they're. I know it's work every. Yes. You party and there's lights there from production. So they're like probably under a spotlight. Yes, where everybody is screaming and yelling and cheering for them to kiss.

Brock basically being the leader of that by the way. Just in case. Yeah, taking taking up. I have to say last last week when they when they kiss and hear the In the background, I just thought they sort of like paced that in an audio and post-production to make it seem like a thing But then we see this rock really was cheering in the background like a baboon So as baboons often cheer and so shorts like oh is that for us? Oh god, she's, I think so.

She's like, oh my God, was that anti-climatic? Oh my God. Rachele is so happy. I mean, this is the closest thing to pageantry. She's never gonna get again. I mean, four aged out pageant queen, you know, finally getting some applause in a pool at a little floating table or without her.

Yeah. And so he's like, that wasn't bad, right? Like, we should go somewhere private. I guess, well, I mean, I'm not saying we're going to make out anymore. My armpit hair might unravel and then envelop you and absorb you into my armpits. Kind of like the girl from the ring. But Katie won't cut it. So what else can we do for us?

Our armpit hair just comes out and then raffles her and then they go to a little private area and make out some more? Yeah, and so while this is all happening Katie and her crew are getting up from their table in the restaurant And there's like this impending sense of dread You know, is she gonna see this is she can hear it like you just know she's gonna find out So now it's like okay. How is she gonna find out? So then shorts and Raquel are yeah, they're making out behind the defense. And Raquel is like, I like your vibe. He's like, yeah, so they kiss some more. And then Raquel is like, his lips are like soft and sweet. They're like kisses, but also tastes like that. Like what I always imagine, moss tastes like in like a riverbed.

And he's like, I won't make out with you again. The moment is passed and she goes, no, you can make out with me whenever you want. She tells us, I feel happy. I feel giddy. I feel excited. And she's got the shorts, all of shucks. I'm just an innocent person who's trying to be happy thing. When we also learned that she's hooking up with Tom, playing now anyway, this is just all a fucking reason.

Well, I mean, it's really hard to not yell, fuck you, Raquel, during most of this episode. I found it a little difficult. It's also funny to think that like, had Scandal all never surfaced, there's probably a good chance that I would have been like, yeah, Raquel finally is getting to be her, she's getting to live her life right now. After years of James, this is like that, that, that, that, we're gonna all do her thing.

But it is so, I mean, it's so fascinating watching the season, knowing everything that's happening off camera and how it really, you know, inflects everything. So, Shor said, oh, this feels illegal. This feels so illegal. She's like, yeah, you're like a kissing band. Yeah, you know, and like Katie already hates me. So like might as well. So this, um, really explains a lot about Raquel and Raquel's way of moving about this season to anybody who watches the bachelor. And I'm sorry, Ben, I know you don't, but to anybody

who watches, they will realize the term the kissing bandit because it was given, it was a nickname given to Nick Vile or the all who has his own podcast now, but Nick was known for being the kissing. That's a big thing. You can go on there. You can go on there to air it all out there. I approve of the Nick Biles podcast for you as well. This is a little...

And the reason that's important to me is because she's acting like she's on the fucking Bachelor. She's got Bachelor morals, where it's supposed to be a bunch of people trying to make out with the same guy and get picked. It's like a pick me show for pick me girls, or pick me boys, depending on the Bachelor of the Bachelor rep what she's in your watching. And so I think

she sees it like, well, why shouldn't I be able to kiss him? You know, you've already had your one-on-one Katie. And so she's just going right and it makes sense. And also, they also kind of picked the biggest pieces of shit guys from the season. That being the bachelor. So it figures the dirty, sweaty Tom his Bob Balaban glasses is the new bachelor. Lucky us. I feel like I feel like poor Bob Balaban doesn't need to be dragged into this. We dragged him in early on not realizing what we were dragging him into and now I literally hate Bob Balaban now. Like I hate him. If I saw him at a whole foods, I'd try and trip him. If I start him at a whole foods, I try and trip him.

Be sweet to Bob Ballaban. So, Bob Ballaban. Bang. Bob Ballaban, man. So, Bob Ballaban, bang. Yeah. Where's his podcast? So, shorts is like,

if we ever break up, you can go talk about it on Bob Maliband. That's what they give me Bob Maliband power hour Hi on Bob Maliband and we're talking here We've been in the crew recently had break up with this long-time podcast husband so So then shorts does the here's where I got mad So I got mad about the most random things like the things that I should get really enraged about. I'm like, huh, I'll be sort of like sniffy about.

We're snitty about, snitty about. But this stuff, this is where I get really mad, is when Schwartz goes, oh God, I'm never gonna telekate. Don't tell her. And like, I hate that. I hate that when he says things like that because it's like, it's you're on camera.

Like he knows. He, first of all, he knows it's going to be told. And then he knows it's going to be on camera, but it's like that. Koi little boy like, I'm just a good kid. I don't want it like it's our little secret. I don't know what for some reason to try to try. Yeah, because it's just manipulation, you know, it's manipulation.

It's shitty. And he just did this because Katie was me to him. So now he's going to be me to Katie. Um, so he's gonna be me the Katie So he's like, yeah, I'm not gonna tell her don't tell her she's everyone already knows he goes no one knows And she's okay. I guess no one knows then hold on. I'm gonna bookie board So then Lala's room so the people who were at dinner were Lala Katie Christina James and Ali so they all go to Lala's room And she's apparently got a huge room. And James's like,

whoa, so convention in there. Look at this. And she's like, is it really bigger than your all's room? I'm just like, yeah. Yeah, it's like a foat. It's like a room humble brag. It's really that much bigger, really? It's like her room,

she has like a dining room. Katie's like a sleep with like a Mr. Coffee at her head. Her room is so small. It's literally wrapping herself in like a banana leaf to go to sleep. Okay, she's in like the bus boy, the bus boy box. The bus boy box. So they all sit down and Christina's like, so they're, yeah, they're just in there so Shina calls up shina calls up Lala. They're all sitting there and I was like Hey, I'm Shina says hey

That's how she starts every call you know that that's how she starts every call in her life Hi, I'm here man. Hi. I'm here. Hi. Are we live? I got yeah, come on. I'm really live.'re live? All right, we're going. We're good to roll. All right. All right. And she's like, what's up? For first of all, then Lala's like, what's up? Like very coldly, which I'm like, why are you so cold, Lala? You're the one who like ditched Sheena.

I don't care. I actually don't think that she is being a crazy bridesmaid. I think she's being as needy as anyone throwing a big event, but not above and beyond where she's screaming at people. I think she's like, hey, I just had this big fun party and you're one of my besties. Where were you? And Lala is like, hey, as if she's mad at Sheena for having events on her wedding weekend. And so I was already like annoyed at Lala and the scene. Well, the Lala plays both sides and she's in front of Katie and Christina.

And so she's got every 10 to hate Sheena, even though she's at Sheena's wedding. I mean, she's so transparent. So she's like, yeah. And she's like, we're having a meeting tonight. She's, I went to dinner and then I came back to the rooms. And she's like, okay, well, let's talk about about that tomorrow I just want to know where you were sitting at dinner because like I know you were buying the hostess stand but I'm not sure

if like all the stack of menus that they were cleaning I don't know if you could see the shorts from Raquel make out because everybody was saying it was happening and I did not see it did you see it did you take pictures could you tell me some pictures are really one of up. And of course it's on speaker phones to everyone's hearing this. And James was like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Stripper tacos? And then people said, Rekella Schwartz made out and I was like, what? I love that she was like, is there more entertainment? Like she's met the elephants to come walking in, bouncing balls on their drums. Oh my god, surprise entertainment. Am I already very amazing party? So, so Lala's like, this is dirty to me, you have to find out what really happened.

Bullshit! It's bullshit! James losing his mind right in front of Ali's girlfriend. James is standing up, his eyes are bugging out of his head, and he's about to lose his goddamn mind. And she's like, okay, I'll find out. I'll find out. I'll find out. Okay, I'll find out. Okay, I'll find out. Okay, I'll find out. And a lot of us like, just stop repeating yourself and find out. Please. You see this, like she said she heard everyone cheering and then she said like what everyone was cheering at and someone said, oh, Schwartz and Raquel just made out

something like that. And James is like, oh, so they finally made out and they're finally gonna bump peepies. Yeah, okay, we're done short. We're done. Congratulations. Enjoy banging your new slide girlfriend and Katie is like I feel like someone has punched me in the gut hit me in the face people cheering them I mean not one of these people care about me name one of these

people that you call I'm my to be fair it's these people that you call. I might to be fair, it's a wedding that you are at what you're, it's like a wedding that you're like not at. It's like people that you're not friends with. So, Lord, it's like we have to find out who was behind that. Who was behind it? It was Raquel and Shorz. That's who's behind it, trying to piss Katie off.

Who's mean to them? That's what it's a revenge. This whole season is revenge. It's one person doing something and then someone taking revenge and then the other people taking revenge on the person that was taking revenge. And then before you note your real housewives show, you know, nobody even remembers

what started the fight. And I would say that this is, most of all, this is Schwartz's fault because he knew this was Teraddle Katie. Like he has been like shooting alternately, shooting on Katie and then be like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, then shits on her again. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, shooting on her again. So like after she wouldn't cut his armpit hair, like when he came over last week, I'm trying to be all cutesy and she basically shoot him away,

then he's like, fuck it. I'm gonna get under skin this way instead. And so that's what this is all about. Yes. So James is freaking out, you know, and Katie's been punched and Lala is like, we've already done this. Okay, so James is like, if the whole party started cheering,

then I would cheer too. I guess, I mean, guess that's what happened because it was just, it caught on like a wildfire. Well, you know what happened? Like someone brings out some polio string cheese and someone says, oh good, polio string cheese. And then someone else goes, oh awesome. And then someone else goes, that's amazing.

And then before you know what, one person showed that everyone showed that I'm sure that I'm sure that you're into, I can't help it, I love cheering along. So, Shina, let me go to ShinaCam. That's what I'm saying. She's like behind made carts, like rolling down the hallway,

and it's like, she's like hiding under table tents. It's like, Two tacos for $6. And my face, does anybody see them kiss that anybody get pictures of them kissing? Tell me, I'm in denial.

So she goes up to Brock, she's like, did you see it or didn't, you're saying it? And he's like, how did you miss it? Is what they are? So then a lot, I guess they'll home the phone because Lala's like, hold on, hold on. Oh, sorry, she never calls back. Hold on everyone, she's calling, she's calling,

she's calling, it's her, it's her, okay. Hey, said that they hook up, like did they they make out did she squirt all over the pool so brocks okay and she was rock did you see her tell them your witness class one on a rock and he goes yeah of course we all sew it and Monica spoke by her people sharing for that and he goes because they want to see Schultz happy. Which I was glad for a little truth there. That is the truth, you know? He's been in a miserable fucking marriage.

I mean, listen, love Katie or hate her. This has been a miserable marriage. I think everybody can get it. Anybody who's watched this can agree. And I would like to think that when Katie finally makes out with the doofiss she's dating, the people will also cheer and fubbly. But yeah, I think it's pretty normal

for a group of friends to see their friend finally, making out with someone, especially someone who's like 10 years younger and he's all sweating and his glasses are all fogged, his bob balabans are all fogged up and nasty's got eye boogers coming out of him, his armpit hairs coming out of the bottom of his pants. Yeah.

So then Lala's like, Katie did nothing to that girl for her to do something like that. She's disgusting, swamp creature. Yeah, Katie sure did do something to that girl for her to do something like that. It was revenge for that fucking trip, you guys. I love how they just read. They just, just some rewrite history. You guys, I love how they just read, they just, just some pre-write history. You guys could work for the American school system. So she does like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not gonna go there, okay? Like I'm just like, I'm just like bummed. Like you miss out on some special moments. Like I was able to like bang on a drum that had water on it, but there's also like an orange light under it, so it looks sort of like I was like banging lava, which was like kind of cool and kind of scary and kind of like fun and erotic too. But like anyway, like you missed

all that, but we'll talk about that tomorrow. Bye. Yeah, you're miss really special moments. And so did I, because Tom made that with Recalder here. It's like, so Katie's like, and there we have it. It's like sad music. Okay, are these 40 year olds because this was a make out session. I know it's not great. I think Tom Schwartz and Raquel are both shitheads just trying to get public revenge. I don't think it was a good look for either one of them. But they're making it sound like Raquel is walking around pregnant, you know, with a little baby with ballabans on. Yeah. It's, um, they are making it sound like, like, they were caught, like, basically

boning, like in the, like in the, in the bushes or something like that. But, like, ultimately, if the deal was, you know, like, hey, don't make out with anyone in the friend group, but that is the deal that they had, like, whether or not you agree with that deal, whether or not that deal is rational, whether you think it's like a little bit too much, a little ridiculous, or whatever, like that was the deal that they came to. And Tom basically said, you know what, once again,

I don't really care too much about Katie. It's like even though I said, yes, I will not make out the Raquel. I don't care that much. It's more important for me to get under her skin than to respect her wishes. And so that's what he did. And she's just like, well, fuck that.

And, you know, and I get it. I understand. I understand. I get it. It's just funny watching a bunch of adults like, thank you. They are very, very, very, very, they're very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very, very, they've all got drunk and kissed. Oh my God. That's by the way, that hotel room is essentially like a newsroom. If you want to talk about that, that's like, you know, when there is this like Walter Cronkite is on the news or something in like the 60s and you see everyone on their type writers, the back being like, this just said, this just said because they just are in that hotel room that basically the entire episode.

Just a lot of, yeah, a lot of, the one like taking out the ticker tape. Like, all right, what do we got? What do we got? And then Katie is the one that they always have to deliver the worst news. It's like, and then the bomb just went off and a South C's. You know, she's got like her depression, eyebrows, like scrunching up.

And then Christina's just the one that has the very serious, but stern and she can take anything face. Like we are currently at war. I think Chris is making sure you have canned foods. I think Christina delivers Stern economic news about things like the DAW went down 400 points today. So it's like it's serious, but you don't care that much necessarily. But then Katie has to deliver the today five different cruise liners across

the world. Sank. Oh my God. Wow. But you know, they're like, what Katie, we really need to guys listen to the whole team. Okay. That's not just about Katie. It's a whole team.

We're going to try and bring some positivity because people are really bummed out by the depression on the news. So Katie, we're going to have you talk about electric school buses today and how they're saving the environment. And Katie would be like, well, there are school buses that no longer have gas. What did gas do? It broke a contract. A contract with the earth.

Katie, Katie, can we go really? All right, let're like, Katie, Katie. All right, let's just put Katie on sports today. An entire football team quit their jobs. That's right. The NFL has actually lost an entire team. Katie, you ruined a team on football. So today, baseball, a little girl caught a fly ball, a ball that had promised to stay in that stadium and then tried to fly away like it was no big deal. That little girl ruined the relationship between a ball and its stadium and fuck that little girl. I want to start that little girl on fucking fire.

The Katie, Katie, whoa, whoa, whoa, Katie, let's leave home at home. Okay. Today in sports, New York Yankee, Aaron Judge, hit a three-run homer today, winning the game and the bottom of the ninth. Unfortunately, his ball hit the last remaining green-eyed pigeon of that Nile end. And that species has gone extinct. So a terrible day for birds.

A pretty nice day for Aaron Judge. So Katie's like, well, I'm going to bed. And she tells us, I feel so much hate inside of me. I hate them both, but I hate Tom Moore. I mean, we're cows like fuck her, but Tom owes me more than this. that Tom owes me more than this. Well, your divorce, your house assaults. Go home. I, yeah, I just, I mean, look, she gets there by the end of the episode. I think she gets there by the end of the episode where she realizes, fuck Tom.

You don't, like, she doesn't need to live for the things that Tom owes her, you know? So that's what does make me happy. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2,

sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the starting June 22nd on Max and listen to end just like that the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So then James uh, James is basically like, well he has the hot sphera, but who doesn't? Who doesn't have the hot sphera? Am I right? I had a first. I had a first. So Lala's like, I'm stuck it in a first. I want everyone to know I'd like history to recall that one. Who had a first? Me, me, me, did.

So Lala's like, I'm telling you right now, your ex fiance is a fucking whore. Okay, use a hoe. Use a cheap broke down hoe. I know that. I can say that. I had dinner with 50 cent ones. Okay, use a hoe. Use a hoe.

So awkward and James is like, well, honestly, he wants to fuck the shit out for cow. He wants to put you up the pussy and up the ass and in the mouth. Why not just do it. Just do it. Or did it first and Alex just sitting there like, oh my God. Are there any other shows I could audition for? This is so embarrassing.

She's like, maybe I should do like, I don't know, great British bake off for something. Can I start dating Paul Hollywood? So she's like, okay, well, thanks for obsessing over your ex-fiance yet again. I'm gonna go to sleep. So, you guys are disgusting. She's like, okay, but I guess I'll go bed,

because I'm in trouble now. Apparently that's not being troubled, but this slot, stupid. So then she then brocks room, she and I was like, oh my God, look at this party light. Like it looks like stars, and that's what Joey had. So I brought it for you, because you're like stars. Ha!

Ha! I think I'm just gonna go to my room. So now we're in Santa Valle, Ariana and Tom. So Santa Valle, Ariana is sitting with Raquel and Tom's like, Raquel, Raquel, Raquel, and Ariana's like, stop, Tom, why do you keep saying Raquel over and over again? Raquel, Raquel, Rekel, oh, whoa. It's like, cut, she made out with Schwartz. And Ariana's like, you what?

And then Tom and Ari, Rekel smile really big at each other. And Ariana's like, I'm gonna need details on that because we're gonna have to make a sandwich based on this and it's gonna be pretty fucking sloppy. So. Yeah. Yeah. Rekel's like, it was just like a moment in the woods, and like, but a lot of people cheer.

It's like, I don't know. Like, maybe we're like America's Sweethearts now. I don't know, and Harry has like, people cheered. So, Arianna tells us, you know, just when I thought it was safe, Katie's on her side of the resort. James for Kels, seemed like they're cool. And now this happened, and I feel like we're right back where we started.

It's like not even 10 feet underground. I was like, poor Ariane, if she only knows where it's about to go. I know 10 feet underground. Just wait, tomorrow it's going to be three inches into aged outpaging girl. Fucking Raquel. Because isn't this supposedly when they hooked up? The rumors this week are that Tom and

What's there but because you remember when short said on what happens live? Yeah, it was at the end of August and this wedding is at the end of August So the rumors well, you know last week we're like obviously It makes sense. It's a wedding at some point right? So the rumors this week are that they hooked up the day of the wedding and Sheena was saying, oh yeah, Rekel didn't show up to get her makeup done and we were all in there for like three hours. Everybody was like basically secluded with each other

for three hours, but Rekel went missing. So they're thinking that Rekel and Tom actually hooked up for the first time on a wedding day. That's the rumors. Listen, you think we're drama queens, you should go listen to Sheena's podcast. Cause the clips on there are really, it's like, oh my God,

it's a sending me to, I remember that was like, oh my God, we were getting back up gone. That was like, where's her cow? I'm not saying anything, it was jaw-wop. And I probably didn't want that. Well, that would be, that's, that's, that is just very wild in the parade.

That's, that's the truth. So But anyway, Schwartz is like wasted or coked up or something. He is on something And because they're like the after party and she knows sweet so And Schwartz is passed out on his bed like with the the galaxy light blaring on his feet, you know So sand of all is like, hey, Raquel, like, here's Schwartz's room, give you one of my go, and I ran, I was like, Tom, get the fuck out of here, you're the worst,

get the fuck out of here. And so, Raquel's like, can we just have some fun now? So, guys, I think that you're like the only person at this wedding, or you're definitely the person at this wedding having the most fun. The most fun. The most. I don't want to hear you complaining right now. So that is like, everyone's like fricking the pool, everyone's like screaming and laughing

at joke. He's like, woo! Like, didn't hard cut. Decade in Christina lying on their beds during that the ceiling in silence. And Mala comes in. It really cuts back to the two PBR hosts, you know, Mala comes in. Okay, he's like, get into bed. Just what's going through your heads? And Katie's like, I just texted him.

I hate you. The anger and hatred I feel for you is like nothing you've ever known. Like I'm never going to speak to you or talk to you ever again. Mala is like, even Brock's like Brock's like we chairs because we want to see shorts happy like what it's that supposed to me. Making out with Raquel is happy. I'm like I'm not a shorts fan and I think he what he did was totally it was totally dick behavior But I can see how making out with someone to make someone happy. So yeah, Christina's like, you guys, there's like a million other girls out there. And Katie's like, yeah, we just spent 12 years

and we're trying to unpack this shit. Like if you need a date, go out and do it. But not in front, like this is just mean. Quizziness is the point. You're right that it was mean. That was Katie, he said that. And you're right that it was absolutely mean. That was the he said that and you're right that it was absolutely mean that was the point he was trying to be mean to you you know does and it's like that doesn't make it right but just like like yes he is being he's a dick you don't need to have

an an amicable relationship with this piece of Hanscombe okay you don't he's a dick he's going to keep being a dick to you okay be? Be mean to him. Be angry. Be rageful towards him, because he deserves it. So, by the way, Christina is cracking me up this episode, because pretty unsu- not- it's not been that subtle, but like last week, she kind of like, when talked to Shina to be like, by the way, like, you never did anything to me.

So like, we're cool, which I was felt like was her way of saying, can I come to some of these events? And then today, when they're sitting there in bed, Katie's upset and Christina has to be in a friend duty where she has to be upset also and also lie in bed and also look at the ceiling at the same time. And she just knew in her head, she's like, she said this would be a vacation in Mexico and we'd go out to bars.

Yeah. Yeah. Just like I'm stuck here at 10.30 p.m. There I get the ceiling with Gady having to be sad also. Yeah, part of me wonders if she thinks she chose the wrong horse, you know, because she's definitely... I don't know if she expects to go to actual events at the wedding, but she's definitely seems to be putting out vibes like But if I do come back, I don't need to be stuck only with Katie the whole time Like I think this time it's like I need somebody on my side

You have to come back to the show and help me, you know, I think she's like if I come back Yeah, we'll not necessarily be up Katie's ass the entire time she and I think for this little talk okay Or maybe maybe Christina was thinking oh well, I mean like you know I've been around this show for many years. I know what's gonna happen Katie's gonna go down there And then she and she and she know will reconcile and then we're gonna go to the wedding like I know how this plays out And she's like shit It's the night before the wedding. I mean they'd be selling patches. And she's like, shit, it's the night before the wedding. I mean, let me sell them, patch this up. We're missing out on all

the events, the sucks. Yeah. So they're on, you know, they're just like sitting there in the morning, like bored. And then we see everybody in the morning doing their breakfast, see things and back to Katie. And she's like, I want breakfast. And then Christina goes, we We'll get broom service and we'll chill. And then we'll chill some more by the pool. And like, I don't know, like maybe we could go to Shina's wedding. I don't know, just thinking out loud. No, no, no, just the pool, just the preferred pool.

By the way, if they have rice in the gift shop, just curious. So. Hi, can you throw me that Mr. Coffee? So I just want to like, in case like I wind up catching a bouquet tonight, I just want. Hi up. Hey, can you throw me that Mr. Coffee? You start just want to like, in case like I wind up catching a bouquet tonight, I just want to be ready. Sorry, just like the nail ad, sorry. Continue.

So, Sina and Raquel and I guess who turns out to be her sister, not Raquel's sister, but Sina's sister, Cortney. Cortney. Cortney. We've got to like a cave spa type thing and she's like, oh my God, everything. Only through that made it. Adrian, Ariel is coming.

She's just fashionably late per year. Hi, my name is Gina. We have a bridal party coming out to do spolas to everybody here. See, Rekal, make out with Tom. Anybody, did you guys get any pictures? Let me know. Rekal, look at all these rocks.

Have you made that with any of these rocks? Okay, just one check, because you seem to be making out with everything. So they are there in this like rocky spa and they're all gathered and Arianna has joined. And she was like, I can't believe like last night it wasn't the wedding, like that's why I was like, so disappointed that Lala didn't come last night

because like that was literally like the biggest event of the entire trip. And like you didn't even like come by to say like, hi, like what the hell's up with that? And she's like yeah before I knew that law law was gonna be splitting her time between me and Katie on my wedding trip she told me she was planning on coming to the wedding to every big wedding event and law was like the biggest ones and um she's like but now that I know one by one she's not going to be coming to things honestly at this point I'm wondering if she's even gonna shop at the wedding. one by one, she's not gonna be coming to things. Honestly, at this point, I'm wondering if she's even

gonna shop at the front end. MMM. I actually do think it's shitty of Lala. I know that Shina has a lot of events, but don't do interviews, Rusei, that's my girl. I'll do anything for that girl, and then don't sit her down and rock, and I'll go to any event, I won't go to the really intimate ones,

but I'll go to every other event, and they don't go to the events. Like, I think that's actually really shitty. Yeah, of course, it's really fucking rude, but that's how Lala is. She straddles the fence. Listen, Katie and the Mean Girls, when Lala came on, they were so, so mean to Lala. They were, for years. They were horrible to her.

And then when she finally got with the girls, she'll turn to get Shina, just like she turned to get James, because that's what they wanted. She does what they want, ultimately. And she's still gonna do it. Yeah, so Shina's like, well, I call Law. A lot of say I was disappointed. And then like asked about like shorts and recal,

and then recal's like, oh no. And she and the sisters and Raquel is like, oh no. And she and the sisters, like Schwartz is like not who I imagined to be your wedding date. And Raquel was like, oh well, I was thinking by the way, what if I walk down the aisle with Schwartz instead of Joey? There was like, like, God Raquel, what the fuck, man?

God. Sterebro is dead inside, okay? Like, hard, Raquel, fuck, man, god. Sterebro is dead inside, okay? At this point, I'm just thinking, we're always trying to figure out what's going on in Raquel's head, but at this point, she's just dead inside. I have no idea what she could possibly be thinking. Well, the only thing I could imagine

is that a producer said, you know, Raquel, why don't you see if you can walk down the aisle with, with short, she's like, okay, I don't you see if you can walk down the aisle with the shorts? He's like, okay. I don't like it every time somebody gets in trouble, we all turn around and blame the producers for doing it. This is bullshit. You know, it's like a lot of people online, like you guys, Katie had to go to this thing

because the producers made her. No, she had to go to Mexico because she has to get paid, to get paid, she has to be on the show. She doesn't have to show up at every event sitting right outside, being rude about everything. You know what I mean? Like let's stop blaming the producers for everything these Vanderpump rules idiots get themselves into it.

I'm not yelling at you, man. I'm just like, no, no, no. Well, I wasn't blaming the Bruce Rowe saying that's the only way I can imagine the idea I can go ahead. Yeah, that's her fault. Fucking Raquel. What the fuck, man? Light a little fire inside of yourself

because I don't even like Katie and you're making me feel bad for Katie. Like this is just shitty. I think I've always gotten by with my own take on Katie to myself because she's always been such a miserable bully to other people. But now you're kind of becoming that miserable bully. Don't let the show do that to you.

I mean, it's already made you a horrible Judas to your friend and a cheater. Judas, wow. But don't become a horrible bully like the Sir Girls. Don't do it. Yeah, but Ronnie, that's like someone putting a soup on the lazy season of awfulness and spinning it over across the table and you putting your hands like, no, stop this lazy season. This soup has to get across the lazy season, okay? The lazy season of awfulness. The lazy season of awfulness.

Yeah, it has to be. It will never stop. It will never, ever, ever stop, okay? By the way, you should lock that window behind you because I'm really worried that someone's going to break it. It's on this one. that someone's gonna break it. It's on this one. Right here.

I see it. Yeah, it's like a lot of handles up. No, that handles up. Like the little swivel handle. Oh, I see it's different than a little swivel handle. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I just, no, no, you were on the right. I was just thinking that there was different lock

and I was really worried for you because I don't want you to miss my wedding. Hey, Lala, did you see Ben's like, window? Yeah, I think it was like unlocked by didn't see it for sure Do you know anyone who saw the window? Okay, I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna find out By me honey, Hana No, it's locked this this swivel is let's see look you pull up the swivel to no it's not Turn it is this one. This is it's just so that we can block you to pull up to turn it But it's just yeah, so I'm saying now flash. I should okay. Sorry. Everybody got everybody worried

This is like a band of pump rules cast member it almost looks as interesting as it actually is so we're actually the other way around God damn it. I ruined my windows Let's just fucking How we can how we can take over. I never like God, like how he, man, that's podcasts of like, let me do a bot's joke about the thing that opens my window.

So anyway, Rickel's being a fucking bully and I don't like it. It's not a good look on you. Cut the crap. So then, Ariana is like, stop. No, Ariana's like stop you guys. And she's like, I mean, I'm okay with that.

I think that's a great idea. So I want to also grab her with that. Yeah. So, of course. That makes me stand up for Katie. You guys are taking the wrong road. You're on the wrong road. It's making you uncomfortable to be here.

Yeah. And so I think Ariana has like a really, a great way to assess the situation. She goes, I'm sorry to think that Raquel might actually have feelings for short and it feels like she's living in some sort of rom-com and I think she's the only one in it. It's like why you were sleeping.

Where Sandra Bullock is like the only person involved in that relationship. I know except that Rick L. is Peter Gallagher in that situation. Very passive. So, Ariana, so Rick L. is like, okay, we'll talk about it later. And Courtney is like, hopefully Katie has another dinner reservation tomorrow night with a good view of everything. I love some sister shade. Hopefully Katie has another dinner reservation tomorrow night with a good view of everything I love some sister shade and everyone's laughing but Ariana Ariana's like this is really uncomfortable And I really like general as a general thing through this episode I really liked that Ariana was in like giggling and getting really shitty with everybody else because we know what's about to come for Ariana, you know? Exactly. But she never does. That's the thing. That's why

also we all love Ariana because she's sort of like knows what's up but she always seems to have the right take on everything, you know? So Ali, we then go over to the pool side and James and Ali are sitting in chairs and they're like holding a flower-ish thing and Ali gives it to James because I got that for you guys. You did not! You did not thank you! I don't think a girl has ever given me a flower before. Look at this beautiful flower!

Look, it's like bulbous, bulbous, but smells nice. It's like every slap I've ever slept with, I'm like, everyone, five, five, four, five, fat shaming. So Shorice comes over and he's like, hey guys, hey, playing with you guys. He's like, oh, you got the PD like the idea. And he goes, yeah, yeah, you know, which guys hang out with me and Ellie goes, why? He's like,

because everyone's just sleeping on gover. So guys, what about last night? What have last night go for everyone? And James is so pissed. He's like, you kidding me? You made that with Raquel last night? What? No, I did not. You didn't. And he was like, okay, I did, I did.

Can I explain? Like, New York Al, we don't have a thing. And James is like, if you say that you go I just don't have a thing one more time. It's gonna be kind of offensive. And she's like, well, Katy forbid me to make out with her, which is strange. Like, I'm an old man. Like, this is middle school shit. It felt like I felt like I was sticking it to the man last night.

You don't get to wrap this in some sort of self entitlement, though. Like, like, personal empowerment, though, you know? Yeah, like I was your valiant. I finally got. And Tom Sandivall actually said that on his interview with how he's like, with that moment in Mexico, like I was just like, I didn't even mind that shorts made out with Raquel, but he didn't know about it.

But like, I didn't mind that they made out because like it was like a moment where Katie had made this bully thing against Raquel the whole season and made it a storyline and it was like yes you're finally rebelling. You know? Well the other thing with the shorts though is that like if you're just gonna do like the dick thing if you're gonna do this if it's gonna be your rebellion if it is gonna be your quote-unquote sticking it to the man aka Katie like, like then like,

I want it baby. Like he like does these things and then he's like, oh, did I do that? You know, and it's like just be like, you know what, fuck it, I'm doing it. This is my decision, but he doesn't do that either. Yeah, and so James is like, that's our excuse. And he goes, I don't know,

when I've been a sad sack of a human being for six months, James is like, oh, so you did that, you made that with Raquel to make you happy then. That was just saying because yeah, it's not fairly. But Katie's just live it with me. I was like, well, there's your answer. The way his face lights up when he says Katie's just living with me. Exactly. That's what made him happy, you know.

So it's like, you know, the princess and the toad. Well since the divorce, I've never felt less desirable or sexy. It is one of your top least desirable or sexy moments. I have to agree with you about that one. But then then comes along, Rikal, and you know, like she's got passion history. She's a total princess and I thought the kiss would snap me out of it. So he's basically saying that he's the toad in this situation. Yeah, you know what, spreading words doesn't make you, it doesn't make you the toad, okay?

You never turned into the Prince Balaban. I was gonna say like, I think that like, he is the toad, but I'm not sure there was a transformation out of it either. So the producers like so did it, did it snap you out? I think he's like, yeah, out of it either. So the producers like so did it snap you out of it and he goes, yeah, I think it did. I mean, call me Prince Charming. So James is like, listen, I'm not picking salt, okay, it's a hard nod and she means business

and we're probably dead to it right now. And he and Schwartz is like, but is it warranted? Be objective. Schwartz, why are you asking this guy? Like, you made out with this guy's ex-piancet. And even though it's clear that James is not over-requel, James was dumped by a requel. Like, there's clearly emotions there.

And you're basically going out to James to be like, what's the big deal I made out with requel? It's just, it's like, there's actually so many levels of like self-centered slash thoughtlessness going on with the shorts right now. Yeah, but Jay, I think everyone looks at it on the show. It's like, well James cheated a million times. Everybody fucking knows it. And at least to one time that we know about that Lala's admitted to you on TV. And so it's like who cares? Well, you didn't respect her or deserve her. So, all that goes is funny.

Yeah, James is skated by like every generic person who makes it to the final three of survivor. There's always one person who, when you look back at the season, you're like, how do they get there? It's because there's always someone who is a bigger threat, who is worse or someone who needs to be taken care of first. And so James always gets by, because there's always, it's like at least one guy on the show who's doing something worse than him.

So even though James is always doing terrible things and has such terrible outlooks on on like women and life and people and body shapes, there's always someone who's managed to sort of do something worse and he just gets by. Yeah, so Tom puts his hand on his knee, on James' knee and he's like, come on man. And James's like, get your hand off money. Don't put your hand on my fucking leg, Schwartz. And he goes, don't be like that.

He goes, I didn't do anything. I asked you to take your hand off my leg. You're the one who stuck your tongue down, Mike.e's throat last night at the white party. Right? It was a platonic kiss. You're a gas lighter. It was a platonic kiss. So James is like, short, is a fucking pussy. I hope everyone sees the calculated this that he's done and how he's maneuvering around. It's so sneaky. So Schwartz is like, howdy back me up. I mean, talk about me. Oh my God.

So, I'm shameless. And James is like, yeah, I've seen the way he looks at Rekelf Forever and he tells him, and I'm creating a boundary between you and Ali. Look, that does not need to be your friend. All right, you don't need to be friends. Because what do you mean? And Ali goes, don't create a boundary.

And he goes, what, what you're not gonna do is lose it like, I'm not gonna do, it's lose it like I always do. But what we're also not gonna do is grab my leg and ask my current girlfriend to back you up. She just gave me a flower. A tulip. So Schwartz is like, I was being facetious, relax. He gets real nasty, like the real Schwartz comes out

finally, he's like, I was being facetious, relax bro. And so James, like, but fuck facetious, relax. He gets real nasty. The real shorts comes out finally. He's like, I mean, we're facetious, relax, bro. And so James, like, what fuck facetious and your big words? What does that even mean? What's facetious mean? Is that a new cream? Should I be using facetious on my face? I think it's you facetious. You're facetious. Whatever that means. It's kind of looks like that. So, um, the shorts last and so does James. They're just both kind of laugh it off But now back in Beverly Hills with Rosetta Lingrosio swinging from a tree picking roses throwing petals in the air darling while dolphins jump over the little mini bridge and hanky and tanky walk around and

Diamonds and rose a little mini bridge and hanky and trinky walk around and diamonds and rosé chill together is a couple what snoopy topy into stupid charrow top ponytail fallosly surround the garden. Oh look and there's Ken feeding Cedric in his cage a beautiful day in Villarosa. So then Greg comes over, Greg the the the restaurant guy. He comes over, he brings a bottle of rosé, which is bold because on the one hand, like, it's smart, bringing something pink for Lisa, she loves rosé, but also Lisa has her own rosé. So can you really know? I know. I like this. I like this is for you, a rival rosé. Oh, too shade little man coming in. Whispering angels, I don't know what that is, strange. Okay, give this to the little horses. Goodbye. So, uh, Lisa's like this whole place

is full of wild animals, including me. Get it? Ah! I was little worried to reach out to Greg because who knows how that would go? Shut up, Fadda Pump. Keeps your own successful million, trillion billion, billion, billion goat cheese sold restaurants. Gout cheese balls sold. But he was actually pretty amenable to meeting. Would you like red, white, rosé, or water? It's a test. Me.

Or perhaps you would like a tall glass of magic. BFFC. I love these things. I'll have what you're having. It's like, oh, really? A bunny pulled out of a hat. Sure. I'll tell you what I'm having.

The four of hearts. Is this your card? He's like, actually, yes. And I didn't even realize I had selected one. I just know that's my card. So then, I love Lisa's saying, oh, I hate, I'm not overstepping whatsoever. Who I am, I'm just a sweet, meddling,

very wealthy woman on a TV show that you're currently airing on or being on or whatever you are, stupid person. So, um, so basically she's like, so I want to know what's going on with Tom Tom. And like, are you, are you really going to be not in the 30th? How are you going to? Because like, no. What's he talking about? You're a stat in the heart and you're too blame. You give love. How bad man. And he's like, um, well, listen, there's no bar Bible, there's no procedures, there's no training, there's

none of that. I mean, my role was to to talk about sir, talk about your restaurant. Listen, this is smoking alley and to restore the pictures of it. Oh, I'm sorry. We're talking about shorts. All right. Go on. Go on. Well, I'm supposed to mentor them and teach them

explain how the business works, but they haven't listened to a single thing I've told them. She goes, Oh, I get that darling, but they don't listen. They're told me told me the only thing I can say to you is that they do bring something unique. And you know, listen, it's youthish and hairish. Mustacheish, which you know, we're working on, but basically lots of girls show up and buy pink drink and frozen goat cheese. So, just that's all you can expect, really, darling. All right, listen to it. And he's like, well, I mean, I guess they're fun. Just, yes, you get it.

That's what they bring. I'm eating here is done. Yeah, poor Greg looking for workout. They're from someone who worked at Sir. So Lisa's like, you know, why can't I want to Tom and Thomas partners? He's, we thought they'd bring their craziness, their excitement, their energy, their storylines to our show while it was flagging in season 69. You know things like that. And looking at Greg, I don't think he has very much fun or energy or storylines, frankly. Well, Greg, how will it personally kick their fucking skinny ass as well.

One skinny and one skinny ish until we get it done. As long as you promise me if I get that done, you'll open on the 31st and buy Schwolp some new glasses. Because really, there's a raffle aren't they? I mean, I... And if you don't open on, but on the 31st then I shall claim your first part daughter Ha magician out Correct just like wakes up in his apartment That happened I like it here What happened?

Show live in a hotel or something Or whatever a name is, it's like eating a cold lobster dog in bed Say, I don't care when you open just get me more of these. There was a flash of light that's only came back. So, um, Swart now's morning again and Swart sneaks into Santa Vols room with a peanut collada with all of paniel. I never had that before of you. It's so good. So, Swart's is like, hey, they're waiting on us. They're waiting 35 minutes ago. Just kidding. Oh, wow, she knows, she's pissed.

Okay. So, there was like waking up, like, what happened last night? What's going on? And then we go over to Sheena's room and Lala comes over. She's like, oh my god, Lala, I wore like that, almost like that exact same thing, but like in God, Lala, I wore like that, almost like that exact same thing, but like in white today, like that's like crazy,

but it's also kind of like offensive, like why would you be wearing the same thing that I'd be wearing? So I kind of'm gonna ask you to please leave the wedding. Sorry. Bye. Mm-hmm. Oh, and she is like, so this is our room at Tharp Hall.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. And while it's like, what's tonight, you need a lot of rest, bitch. And she's like, well, we have dinner at 5'30. You're gonna come to that, right? Are you gonna come to that? She goes, no, I'm not gonna come to that. Cause I'm going to have properties for dinners, cause I can't.

So it's what happened last night. I thought you were going to dinner with them and then come into my thing and then you didn't come to my thing. By the way, is it tonight like the rehearsal dinner and Lala's gonna skip that for crying out loud? So Lala's like, yeah, my life is like really intense right now.

Like, do you know how hard it is to go on vacation in Mexico when you have nothing back at home to report to? It is difficult right now. So I want to step, I want to round myself with women wanting to rally around and build each other up But in the form of tearing someone else down. Okay, so we're calrimizing of girls who would go and be with Randall and the journey to subit It's this got to make oh my god look in the mirror all she's missing is a Range Rover for fuck's sake What kind of thing is that for Lala to say she Reminds me one of the girls who would be with Randall Brandtl showed up and offered you a Range Rover and an audition and you were with them ever since

Can we please get off the high horse princess die? My god. I know. So um, she was like I don't think so and I was like, 100% and no one can convince me otherwise. And she says, there's a certain caliber of checks who don't think of anybody, but they're insecure ourselves. I'm like, really? Because you're the one missing one of your best friends rehearsal dinners.

Because you're gonna be uncomfortable. Yeah. It's called the Acast member of Maniple Rules. I think that's actually the requirement. So LaLa's like, it takes me back to a place. I feel like, so I just respected. I feel for her so much right now. It's like, okay, this is just such bullshit.

It's actually hilarious. So Lala says, Rital has made Katy feel the way some of these bitches made me feel. And I'm triggered because fuck to someone I love. So. Yeah, but it's not Katie's vacation is my wedding. And Rickah was like, yeah, well that's where you get to twist it. Because everyone else outside of this has things going on.

Your wedding is the most important thing to you. It's not the most important thing to everyone here. Okay, she's you. Sorry. What fucking thing is that? It's not the most important thing to everyone here. Okay, she's you. Sorry. What fucking guy did you think it's that? To say to a bride. It's literally the day before her wedding.

And you're there invited, probably with a discounted rate. I'd like to add in a nice big ass room, we saw that. And that's what you're gonna say to the bride. It's just so rude. Yeah, but it's also a lot of- Especially when you're leaving to like hang out with someone who was like, I don't even want to get a year wetting and show it up anyway just to be a bee.

Like that's terrible. It's like, I don't want to go to your wedding, fine, but then keeps doing things and sort of like peeling people away from the wedding. You know, like I just think that there's just like a, there is just like a, a rudeness. I'm sorry, I can't believe people would a rudeness. A rude, I'm sorry. I can't believe people would be rude.

Anyway, let's talk about more slats. So she's like, she's like, well, I think I've been like a pretty chill bride and like I don't think it's like too much to ask for a while to spend the next three days making it about me. I'm like, well, she know, don't. Now, see, I have just a lot of days.

It's a lot of days and you're like, make it about me. So now you have tried to defend your Sheena trying to. And Lala tells us we all have a lot going on. Yes, it's your wedding and we'll all be there tomorrow to celebrate that. I mean, imagine your ex. Oh no, she's saying this to Sheena not to us. She goes, imagine your ex breaking up. Oh no, imagine your ex leaving and Sheena not to us. She goes, imagine your ex breaking up. Oh no, imagine your ex leaving and showing up

and she's sheena, because I have experienced that. She goes, yeah, and somebody else hooking your ex up with someone in the friend group. I was like, oh, okay. So this is all Sheena's fault still. So everyone said, this is basically, I mean, which I guess we all knew, but Lala coming in and being like,

I'm not coming to your rehearsal dinner And it's your fault because you told Schwartz to make out with her Cal Yeah, it's fucking 13 years old my god You're on a TV show about people hooking up and fucking. I don't think it's so crazy that the cast is like Wow, there's a single man in the group and there's a single girl in the group looking for somebody you guys should go to casting together. But also Shina told Shina had this moment of the Schwartz way before they went to Mexico and Nala still was like, I'm gonna go, I'll be at everything. So now she's conveniently using it against Shina but also like that still doesn't explain

why she didn't go the dinner the night before. I don't know, I just feel like she's going out of her way to make Sheena feel bad about the situation. And, you know, Sheena is for sure being like, make it all about me, make it about me. As many times as Sheena says, I'm like not a bride-so-la. You know, and I don't think she's a bride-so-la, but she's also not a chill bride necessarily.

But I think Lala, I just, Lala's not being very gracious. She's being like, you know, as a guest at a wedding, you know. That's surprising, that makes sense. But that makes sense. Yeah. So she and her, like, well, we're gonna have to recreate it. That's a great on that. She goes, yeah, that was gross.

So, bye, love you. Love you. I would say love you and bye. So at least they have a friendship, she needs to be intact. So then, now Lisa's calling the toms, because they say love you and buy. So at least they have a friendship seems to be intact. So then now Lisa's calling the Thames because they're still in that bedroom that's very, I can just tell what that's, the bedroom smells like and I don't like it.

So Lisa's like, listen, I don't want to worry you, okay? But Tom Tom burned down, just kidding. But I want to tell you that Greg was at my house and I did sit down with him and there's now, there's just no way that you're placing an open and this isn't me. It's him. It's him saying He said like I was having been dedicated. They haven't done much. They haven't provided a drink menu They haven't shown up. They haven't actually shown anywhere. There's of what it's like to actually be a working human in a business Just things like that now. I just want you to know that I did put him in a chest and cut him in half. And for a moment, Ken swans everybody thought he was dead for sure.

Where's the other half, but then it turned out he was put back together again. And that's what we call magic! Now come back and get your restaurant open boys. And Santa Valls, like one of the things I was really looking forward to when opening shorts and saddies was being able to make our own decisions without being under Lisa Vanderpump. Then go to fucking work dude. Make your drink list. Get your shit entered into the point of sale system. Do something. All you're doing is going around cheating on your girlfriend and singing terribly in a fucking cover band. You piece of shit. Go to work.

and singing terribly in a fucking cover band. You piece of shit. You can still go to work. You can still email in a menu. Like you can still do work from Mexico too. Like those things you can be doing. So at least it's like, when did you put the drink menu in then? And it's worse like that was like three days ago.

Well, I mean, I think I think it was three days ago that I gave him that cocktail napkin with the things like yellow drink, orange drink, Pepsi drink, Pepsi drink. You know, so I think it's all drunk. I remember writing down gummy sharks. So, um, and Sanvol's like, but Greg going to Lisa and talking about us defeats the purpose. So she's like, well, I've got to go have fun.

Since she and my love has it been okay over there. And I'm like, ah! What does ah mean? What does that mean? Ah, yeah, it's great. Like Lisa's great. Like, dude, anyways, I'm not a dude, okay? I don't know. Ah, sounds like the name of my perfect new restaurant.

Ah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Unique. Unique Hallal by Lisa Vanderbilt. It's exploring different foods. Question is Patagonian, dude, fish halal. Also known as sea bass. So anyway, yeah, short, it's like, yeah,

no, dude is gender neutral Lisa, it's totally okay. So then we go to James jumping on his bed and riding it like a surfboard and then checking out his body in the mirror. So he's up to, he's happy. James acts like somebody in a book who was like really fat for a long time. I did read this but I don't remember the name of the book, but it was so good. It was this lady and she was really, really big for a long time and she was an actor and she could never get ahead and then she saved up all her money and she was also dumped by a guy, of course. And then she found this doctor and he totally took all of the weight off and made her beautiful, like stunningly beautiful. And then she became a star of a TV show, like Charlie's Angels, type of show.

I love Chick-Lake, okay, I love it. I know that shocks everybody. Anyway, that's how James acts. Like, he has just come out and seen his body for the first time. He's like, look at me, I'm gorgeous. I'm gorgeous. So, yeah, like the surfing on the bed was very funny

because it's like the first time he's been in a hotel. He's like, look at this, they've got beds here too. Amazing. So now that everyone's gathering for the rehearsal dinner and then Schwartz goes up to Raquel and does like a sheepish wave and she waves back and then he does like a high five to her and they sort of like slow it down to be like,

hot ss-high five. And she was like, okay, so like everywhere, like we're going to sit here honey, and like I'm gonna go like, help everyone else get to that situated, and we're like, so around the house, you everyone, come on to the house, you guys. So we all go in.

And of course, Fort Six next to Raquel. And he and, I'm just like, oh my God, James and Alley are coming. Do you guys wanna swap? And so, Fort Six is like, yeah, I'll sit there. So there's a buffer, you know, there's a buffer between Brickell and James. So James and Ali come and James is all pissed to start, you know.

And so they sit at this betting on a table and there's a little chicken formed out of rice there. And Brickell's like, oh my God, it's like La La. She's too chicken to come to dinner. Takes a picture of it. So then cut to Katie, Christina and Lala, sitting in like the lobby bar, just like not very far from the restaurant,

just sitting there drinking and they're talking about how Katie's birthday is coming up and Lala's like, oh, that should be it, that's what we should be celebrating. It was a weird day, but getting off the property is gonna be like, that's gonna be like a money move, getting off this property. It'll be a total money move. I'm like, yeah, that's what you guys should have been doing,

it doesn't tire time. But it's also another case. It's also another case. Like how many episodes has there been now where these three are like, we're gonna have the best night tonight, you guys. And they always announce how fun it's gonna be, and it's always fucking late.

And it's just another announcement, like deciding to get off the property, money moves, tonight is finally gonna be a good night. It's never gonna happen. Okay. You're still in the lot. They're like in that lobby bar for like three hours waiting to go. Waiting to piss them off, you know? They're like, yeah, we're so going off property.

Can't wait till people see us sitting here and try and start something with us and Lala saying yeah, your birthday is what we really should be celebrating I'm like I'm like you know look. It's fine. I've definitely gone to weddings. I'm like but Like don't again don't act like you're just like right there for sheena like you're her Like you're just like right there for Shina like you're her like you're bestie you're there to support her through thick and thin And then you're like shit talking to that fact that there even is a wedding in the first place I don't know I just that the disingenuous of it. It's really is

Father me this episode so back at her about yeah shorts is like I'm gonna have to have a talk with Katie at some point today I guess and she's like yeah your ex-wife and he's like yeah She's I mean I feel like I'm in the doghouse like, yeah, your ex-wife. And he's like, yeah, she has, I mean, I feel like I'm in the dog house, like more than you're in the dog house. And she's like, yeah, you know why? Cause we're anti-establishment, we're a rock and roll.

By the way, Schwartz literally does not have to have a conversation with Katie. And that's not an anti-katee sentiment. That's more of a anti-shorts being stupid. Because like Schwartz saying that he needs to have a talk with Katie is only so that way he can repair his image. It's not to make sure that she feels better. So James is basically like, well, you know what?

So, all right. So you made out with Peter, shorts, and there's Tom, and like, who else can you make out with? Who else is not friendly with? But you can make out with. And Rickah was like, I'm just trying to have a little fun. And he goes, oh yeah, we'll leave a little. Yeah, it's just funny.

You can't find your own people. It can have to be shorts and peter. And all these little people here. Why do you have to do that? So the assertive people that are around me in my life, which I get what James is saying, oh, so now you have to dip into my friends. Why do you have to, like, well, hello,

you used Kristen to get on this show. And you had no problem being on the show with all of her friends once you broke up. You're not really in the place to make this judgment, sir. That's true. So, yeah, James is like, I just think you're like a little bit lost,

but it has like nothing to do with me. So, like, it's just funny. Like, every time I look over, you guys are having a conversation and call. It's obviously chemistry and sublime, just self-made. Have the fucking balls, have the fucking balls to make out with us, and I can yell at them. Why are you making out of that? He's like, but if there was chemistry, I would man up and say it. Have we ever touched each other, Rekelle?

Have we ever had one romantic moment besides last night? James is like, shaw! And Raquel says, well, it's been very flirty. I mean, it has been flirty. And, you know, Tom's just basically doing to her what he probably will do to everybody in his life, which is act really charming and act like he likes you and get you all worked up into him

and then treat you like crap. And that's how he keeps you going back. And notably at this point, because in anticipation of James and Ali joining at the Hibachi, Raquel and Tom's, which sees Sinabrakella's in between both Tom's, which is really a visual for this show. So Sinabrakella though is starting to question whether or not there's really a future for her and Tom Schwartz because she's basically saying, well, there, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, like, listen, I just had to say it once to you. Like, I see you making it with all the guys in the group. I mean, after we were engaged, we were to get the five years, and you're making out with all these guys, and she's like, well, we were together for five years,

and then in three weeks, you have a new girlfriend. So I was like, oh, point for real. Also, you fucked Lala. You don't get to come. Like, that's one of the big jokes of the season is you and Lala admitting, oh yeah, that whole time we fucked. So, you're not allowed to come, and I hate that I'm having to stick up for Raquel, but fucking James, like who are you?

You don't get to say this to anybody, you know? How much do you know sucks? The lazy season truly is a spin. I mean, it's like 10 times an episode where I'm like, God, why am I standing up for this person? I know, it's like, I feel like the next thing I'm gonna be defending Lala. But how dare someone say that to Lala?

I'd like, I already had like my Lala plate. It's not moving along. All I can say is I love to look for science and this Erykel is between the two toms and she's also sitting right in front of the little fire alarm pole, which I thought was really funny. So James is like, oh well, guess what?

I do have girlfriend. You know, I did have a girlfriend. And it's like, I've never loved anyone more than my life. It's like the most love I've ever been in my whole life. So it's amazing. It's amazing. She's, oh yeah, I'm sure James. I'm sure.

And because, yeah, I don't think I was ever in love with you. Thank God we never got married. My pointy gave me that flower, Ali. Remember? I'm not, I'm not. Pepe, pepe, pepe. If only Ali were here to see how much I love her. I'm right here, James. Oh! Remember? PIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIPPIP go over to the lobby to hang out with Lala and Christina and Katie. And she's like, hi. And then, oh, she said she's going to do that.

And she was like, don't let them get in the way. So by the way, did you notice the mass amounts of bottles of class, Azul in the background? Of course, now I see them everywhere after a real housewives' ultimate girl trip. Oh, so she goes down to the lobby and everyone's like, you're the cute, you're the cute, you're the cute, you're the cute. And so Chris Fiemma's like, how's dinner over there?

And she's like, it was fine. Once we sat down and I had a drink and accepted the situation for what it was, it's like, oh, it sounds great. Yeah. These sounds like the one for you, Ali. You should definitely stay in this relationship. So Lala's like, but he sounds like the one for you, Ali. You should definitely stay in this relationship. So Lala's like, but how is that? It's like, how about you?

So where are the table flock? Where the table flock? And she goes, yeah. But sign that Lala does not like Ali, that she's trying to make conversation about what the Habbachi table was like. Well, she's just asking her where everybody's sitting, basically, right?

Yeah. So Ali's like, yeah, I mean, it was me, then James, then Schwartz, then Rick Al, and James comes in, and he's like, hello, I brought you food since she didn't have dinner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. Seriously. So now the other dinner's ending, so people are starting to trickle into the lobby. So they've been sitting there for the duration of a dinner. And so now Santa Claus at the bar and Schwarzenegger coming up, so Lausage, we gotta get out of here. We gotta get out of here.

So they're like leaving in Schwarzenegger, Katie and Lausage, No stop it. She's very upset and Katie is like He is fucked up so many times and he's fucked up for the last time. I am going to divorce that man It's like you actually already did which is the good news You know what's funny is this when she when Ali said I'm gonna go See Lala and Katie before they leave for dinner. I didn't realize they were still in the hotel on the lobby So the hotel on the lobby. So the hotel lobby, yeah. I know you realized it earlier, but I didn't realize it.

And so... No, at first I didn't think it was the hotel. When Gally comes in and we find out there in the hotel lobby, I was like, you fucking losers. You fucking losers! You were acting like, oh yeah, we don't need that. We're going out to have our independent night. And you're literally sitting right outside the restaurant just trying to start some shit. You got to be your saddest, saddest that I've seen in a long time. So now

people come out so they get to start drama and then Katie gets to be all offended at Schwartz as if she wasn't sitting there waiting to see Schwartz and be all offended. I can't. These people are all fucking ridiculous. So Schwartz is like, this is such a silly thing. And Lossy, it's not a silly thing. And Kej is like watching us. No, I didn't say that. Oh, she said.

It's not a silly thing. Sorry, okay, guys. And Kej is like, he looks like a sweaty pig right now. I'm like, well, that is true. And Lossy, well, again, that's what. You look snatched. So now, now they go to this cave bar. The lobby people have gotten, now that they've gotten the gossip

from the Hibachi, they can move on to their actual dinner. So they go to this cave bar off the cave. They actually go to a cave, which is actually the only place anyone in this cast has the possibility of finding someone that could fit in on this cast. So, good move. First good move I've seen you guys. Hey, this is where they all went to school in a cave. So, James is like, Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So, they're like, James, you look so good with two girls. Welcome. Welcome to girls night. James and DJ I want to be intercavon all can I? I'm gonna play something on my phone. All right. All right. I just played a cave. I just played a cave. All right James James DJ James Kennedy deep earth James James DJ James Kennedy deep earth I just played cave cellar so So they sit down and allies like I feel like Lala should be at the head of the table for some reason So she's clearly trying to get into allies good. I mean Lala's good graces, right? so Lala's like oh my god. Thanks. So James is like, so how was, like, let me tell you about dinner.

I mean, it was like literally like a quadrupled date, a quadrupled date of stupid, stupid people. And he's like, he's like, he's a Tom and a Recaler dating now. And he's like, well, I'm pretty sure Recaler was a Haudspirer. Was that what he said? What was this word? I wrote quite a few. I'm Mark. I'm pretty sure that she has the Haudspirer.

Oh, I like and I'm pretty sure I was a hot spree It's very pretty like that's a bridge that's like a British curse. She says she's a hot spree I mean she's trying to do something down there, isn't she and Katie's like I want to like them both on fucking fire Lyle like I have just I'm just saying holy fuck Lallagas, I have chulsk. And James goes, saying, holy fuck. What he did across every line, and there's no coming back from this. I've sat them both down, tears in my eyes, and kiddie, kiddie, kiddie, just like, please,

guys, one fucking request. You've been drunk, imbecils. And so, that's the food arrives, and James is so that they're like yeah They're just sort of like commiserating and how awful Tom and Rikaila are and everything and James is then James I think this weird moment where he's like eating and he's like I need to get some beauty rest tonight They like puckers his face like he's One of these he's sort of like Something going on with James some going on with James on the set on this trip. What do you mean?

He just is like, he's very like up and down. He's like, he's little talk. So then, is that what you're asking? If he's totally cooked out this whole time, of course. Yeah, I was sort of, I was getting that vibe. Of course. So then, wouldn't you be, I would be, I would be at this wedding and be like, yes, I'd be screaming at somebody in the back and then making out with somebody in the next second.

So, um, gotta love weddings. Okay, so, Christina's like, so, oh, wait, there's a food question I have first and I admit I'm an impassal, but I just have to ask. James, because others prongs and Katie goes no there's shrimp All right, prompt isn't So I think Yes, and no I think that I think that like It's one of those a yes and a no it makes it a yes and a no listen Vendipen fruels is a show of subtlety and gray. I think that in England

So I don't even grab it. I think that in England, Shrimp referred to as prons, but I think in America, shrimp are shrimp, and prons are like, like they're almost like bigger, those like, they're just like bigger shrimp, and I'm sure they may have like some sort of like, different genius and classification or whatever,

but I think that when James said are those prons, he probably meant are those shrimp, and G James said, are those prawns, he probably meant are those shrimp and the gadi said, no, they're shrimp. And that was probably left in there as like a subtle wink to people who picked up on that like you did. Wow. Thanks for making me feel like I just got winked at. Yeah, welcome to the media. So Lala is like, meanwhile Lala is like, yeah, you know what? I knew the weather was gonna be like down here because the dawn was here last week.

I'm like, oh, congratulations on your inside track on weather. From the dawn, from the dawn. And so we get another one of her spring flashbacks, which I don't need to listen. It's like how many times you need to go to see Worlds? Okay, I don't need another orcishow. I'm done. So she starts talking about this because Christina, of course, is bored as hell with these

people. And she's like, so what are you wearing to the wedding, Bala? And she's like, is it too informal to wear a seat jacket over shorts? And she goes, but it's so hot. You're going to be okay with that at the wedding. It's going to be so fun. You're going to take pictures. You should take pictures.

Some of you take pictures. Tag me take pictures. Some of you pictures. Tag me. How about this? Oh, you know what'd be funny? It'd be like the parent trap sort of. How about I wear a suit jacket over my shoulders and I'll just go there. I'll go to the wedding and I'll just sell it

to everyone. I'm you. And that way you can hang out with Katie. But I'll be at the wedding. I'll just be like, hi everybody. I just squirted. So I'll be like, hey, I'm a boss bitch and use a hoe and use a hoe. Oh, go.

Right. So when they bring up the dog, James asked who that is and Lala's like, boy, it's a mad hypothesis. And then we see the clip and Lala's like, yeah, and I had sex for the first time in a really long time. I told them to dick, scut me discombobulated right now. And Kitty goes, um, not discombobulated, Dixcombobulated.

James, like, oh, no, you did not. Oh, no, you did not. That was hilarious. That was hilarious. I actually kind of liked it. I'm not gonna lie, Ronnie. I kind of liked the wordplay. Well, that was kind of a, an us thing not going to lie, Ronnie. I kind of like the word play. Well, that was kind of an asking thing

to say to each other, isn't it? I was very, it was actually very Samantha on Sex and City. Discomboblade. More like, Dix, Dixcomboblated. I would have said Dixcomboblated, not Dixcomboblated. Oh, so then we go back to Dremes.

And we're in Sheena, she she in a box room for a party. Like the girls are like, not party party, but like after party, sitting on the couches and stuff. And they're talking about China's dress and you know, his box in the dress yet. And she goes, you guys, I got, you got. I know I've been wearing my wedding banner while

now because I've been married a while now. And they're like, what? She and she tells us, I'm such an open book. It was like so hard to keep this secret. I love it. I love how she managed to compliment herself while she described that she's doing this. I'm like such an open book.

Like, one thing that's great about me is like what you see is what you get. But I was really hard to keep this light. So she says, well, when like his investors visa, like needed to get changed. And like, I wanted to get a green card because actually more because I was really into this moment of wearing green a lot, so it was like, you can match with your card.

Then we also have a baby together and we like to put the baby in green too. We literally are going to be together forever. We literally said a couple of words, signed a paper, and now we're married now. You guys have to actually open our one year anniversary festival. And Ariana's like, you know what? So many people like get married just because they want the wedding. But like you guys have been living like marriage. But then you're having a wedding and that's like icing on the cake.

And she's like, yeah, because I'm an open book. It's like an open book marrying a hot guy. It's like an open book, marrying a hot guy. It's like an open book with icing on it. Have you ever had that? So she was like, yeah, we got married for us, okay, because we did this because we want a life together. Like we have a baby together.

We have like a very important vlog together that focuses on wall climbing, okay? And like it didn't matter that it was done for a hundred people or four people, but ideally we were hoping for about 230 people. I wish we got a clip of them getting married in the bathroom of James's engagement party in Santa Barbara wherever the hell that was Palm Springs, that's that's my my cousin is getting married at that estate in June. I'm gonna be really there. Yes I just wanted to hear a're good. I do. And then like a toilet flush.

Fine. That's so cool. I'm going to get to go there. I'm going. I'm going. My cousin. My cousin, my cousin and McLean. So we are going.

McLean, I love it. Love the name of the government. Look at that. I didn't even know you had a cousin McLean. I have a cousin McLean. I'm a Curlmer or a Guy. It's a guy. It's a boy. Oh, hot. That's a hot name cousin McLean. I have a cousin McLean. I have a Cromer guy. It's a guy, it's a boy. Oh, hot.

That's a hot name, McLean. It's hot. Yeah, he is hot. You know, we're happy for McLean. So he's going to break him up. I'm going to break him up. I want to be with someone named McLean. McLean are your own.

Well, the wedding is happening at that vineyard that James and Raquel had their engagement party at so it's sort of like Cassidy or whatever So I'll keep my eye out for any sort of evidence of Nerdy wellism from the from the band of comp rules. I love it So brought brought comes back to the room and he's like oh, I'm exhausted. How long? You guys gonna be around? Yeah My god, she's fine. We'll leave god So um Sheena also sheena he's always gonna be around here. The God, she's fine, we'll leave, God. Ah. So, she knows, also she knows, like by the way, Rikkel,

like I hear you don't wanna walk with shorts down the aisle anymore, and her hand is like, please show them why, and Sir Rikkel says, as a pageant girl, Emeritus, and as a model, maybe never was, a walk down and any runway slash aisle is very important. And then we see that when they were trying to walk down the aisle, we're shorts like couldn't even walk down an aisle properly.

You couldn't even manage that. It's like being a little kid, like trying to be hilarious. And she says, and Joey's a good walker, so I'm gonna do it with him. And then we see Joey walking. How is Joey any better? Joey's walking with like fake swag. It's like, you know how you look like one of your legs is kind of limping, like you're dragging one of your legs

and his arm is one arm is swinging. I was like, oh, okay. I think that he could find a way to walk. Are you in the DJ James Kennedy video? Like, who are you right now? I think the fact that he was not doing a Mr. Beanbit is what really just sealed the deal for him. Like, he's just able to kind of walk

in a relatively normal way. So then they leave and then the next day, guys and girls rooms, everybody's getting ready for the wedding and she and I's like, everybody's getting ready for the wedding. And she and I's like, are you on her? Are you flocking me right now? Cause I'm about to pop a bottle. I drink a really tasty ajama frite now, YouTube.

What do you think? Tell me in the comments below. Like and subscribe to this bottle of champagne. Hey, you know what, it's like crazy to think that like, back to the morning, like the day is leading up to my first wedding with like, Shay and like, because like I had like such a massive in my stomach, but I think it's because I accidentally ate

an entire peach. And then like I just like, I thought that was normal. I thought that's like what you do. And like everyone gets called fesar nervos and they're like that, like before you make a lifelong commitment. But like that, but now I know that's not what it's supposed to feel like.

I just feel so lucky to be this, I am like so happy right now. Well, you're also a lot calmer because before you thought of it a life as a lifelong commitment, then you divorced and then you realize, it's not really a lifetime commitment, if you don't want it to be. I mean, you should be less nervous the second time around. Yeah. I feel like divorce should calm you down for as many weddings as you're willing to have in the future.

Good for you. Yeah. Or just make you deeply paranoid. Give you huge trust issues. Who knows? So, so now the girls, everyone's just like to make up and then guys are drinking out of shoes and stuff and she's like, back in 2014, I got so much shit for my crop top dress. And we flashed back and we're

like, and the famous moment where she goes, I work, RobTop's all the time, like that's kind of like my thing. That's so like my, when I wear a white dress. I don't like my thing. My, here. Can I wipe it with my shirt? Like a five year old. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, so crazy. Like crop tops are my thing.

And they, I'm like, we heard the mention of Andy who made her that crop top wedding dress. And Peter is looking like a bass and takes a seat. And then we see James, James is with La La and Allie. And then Katie and Christina are in their room trying not to be better through in like bath robes. And Christina's like, I think it's hilarious we're right outside their wedding.

And Katie's like, yeah, everyone's outside their wedding cause they're weddings like in the middle of the resort. And Christina goes, if she was smart, she'd have a really good seating chart put together, but like Poor Ali keeps getting stuck nice to Raquel, though. Like, well, that one you can blame on the producers. That's a producer thing, for sure. So then Katie is like, she's like, yeah, well, the wedding party usually sits next to each other. And like, we're calling Schwartz. We'll be sat next to each other. Like, so like, let the teen who love birds have their time. Right.

Oh, she said, yeah, well, I guess we're going to have to see how it goes. And so we get romantic tinkles as the wedding begins. And then people start walking down the aisle. And Christine is like, you want me to go down there and scoop it out? I mean, I can go out on the balcony. Just just watch. And Katie's like, I mean, if you want to, I mean, I can go out on the balcony just just watch and Katie's like, I mean, if you want to I Mean I oh look I found some upper glasses for us. Where did these come from? Let's go out to the balcony and watch Yeah, cuz I mean like I'm just kind of curious on my own cuz I can want to see that Kashy walks out Like just come with me just to be Katie's like quick. What if they can see us though? if they can see us though.

And Katie's like, is that them? Is that them? And so we're seeing more of the procession. And Raquel is walking with Joey and everything. And Katie's like, Joey, hot as fuck. Joey is so hot. Joey is the fake sh- I'm sorry, the fake Schwartz from early December.

Oh, God, okay. He is new to us. Like that's the real reason why Raquel switched it up, you know, he is hot. So that's who you ruin someone's life over. Okay, that man, that man, ruin a life over. Okay, geez.

So Katie's watching Raquel with that, with Joey, and she's like, that doesn't look like Schwartz, he's not walking like Schwartz would, he doesn't have toilet paper stuck to his shoe and the shirt's tucked in, I don't think it's Schwartz would. He doesn't have toilet paper stuck to his shoe and his shirt's tucked in. I don't think it's Schwartz. Unless he got a haircut. Katie says.

So then Brock is like, Somor, hello, somor. Oh my God, in summer, Moon is so cute. And she has, she's supposed to be the flower girl, but she's so little. And so the mom just picks her up and puts her on the lap. And then she just throws a bunch of flowers. She's a disruptor.

She's a disruptor to all the federal conventions. She's a disruptor. Yeah, she goes somewhere, Moon. She's so cute. She really is wonderful. I think it's because it was like the combination of seeing that super hot fucking guy walking rekeld on the aisle and then seeing a baby that I was like,

oh my god, life is worth it. Maybe love is worth it. Maybe this could all happen. And then I just started crying through the rest of this wedding. All you needed was a little baby elephant to come walking up on the beach. This is like the cutest fucking thing. And then she starts walking down the aisle with George, that part too.

I'll say, oh my god. And then someone yells out, it's picture perfect. And then it cuts immediately to Katie and Christina and their robes on the balcony looking at it. Like Christine is like, this is actually like beautiful. Katie goes, yeah, makes me want to cry. And I'm glad they're not being bitter because I thought the scene was gonna be them being horrible.

And I was like, well, Katie's totally turned, Katie's totally turned a corner. And'm sure she's going to say that way the whole opposite. So then Brock is crying and I'm crying. And then the veil is blowing in the wind. And they're like, oh my God, veil, who invited you to this wedding? Get me girl. Do we take the veil off?

Do we take the veil off? Do we take the veil off? Do we take, okay, everyone, I put up a poll on my answer. Should I take the veil off? Do we take the veil off? Do we take, okay, everyone, I put up a poll on my Insta. Should I take the veil off? I put my shoes on. Should we take this off? Internet poll, flock this, flock this. Hey, smash that like button and go. Everyone's on the, we're so dumb. So, Sina's like, my first wedding. I was so worried about everything going bright that I didn't even notice that it was a wedding that was growing in the first place.

And this time I could be in the sur alley during gay pride getting married and I wouldn't even care. So that they have vows and brak is like, Shayna, you are my friend, my passion, my drive, and my true north. And the love that I have for you overflows my cup. And I know you are the one

because when we hold each other, and I hold you in my arms, the world fades away and our souls embrace. And then our souls chug some beers. I let, he pulls out his vassals just, oh my God, you're so short of him. And my, his is like a little fortune cookie. It's just like, shaneur,

I knew you was the one for me because you don't want when I fought in bed. Have your time. Um, what I thought that the man who's lit into my DMs three years ago were turned out to be the most incredible partner and father and climbing wall vlogger videotaper I could ever ask for.

I mean you really understand white balance. It takes a real man not to just do auto okay to do manual white balance. And she's like you in summer. I was crying. I feel so stupid. I'm gonna move, move, move, move, move wedding weekend. I think that big party night looked really fun. The dinners all look pretty good. It looked like a really good weekend. Katie is like, thank you Katie. Katie is like, I think we have to get ready for dinner.

And Christina is like, I mean, that was very beautiful. Do you want to go back on the balcony? We can look at it some more. I think I mean, you know what? Maybe go downstairs and look at it in person. I want to throw the rest from up here, but I don't want to hurt anybody. She's like, you really did get rights.

You fucking bitch. Yeah. So Katie's like, I mean, weddings are beautiful. I love weddings just not on. I was like, well, you tried being a decent human being for about 30 seconds. So Christina's like, I guess we have an hour to get ready. I just have one option though. And I think you're going to laugh. It's a white dress. So, Katie's like, is that the only thing you have? She's the only thing I'll wear. Bitch. Because Christine

is like changing the end of this here. I know. It's like you and China are matching. Christina is like, yeah, that's why I kind of made a thing about that you would laugh because it's like that's the whole point. It's that it's quite like Shina. You didn't have to actually articulate what the joke was, Katie. No, but like it's funny, I get it.

Do you do? Yeah, I get it. You totally like it's funny, I get it. Do you do? Yeah, I get it. You totally get it. Yeah, I get it. Like you totally think, do you, is it like cough, any or like just like funny, funny? I don't know,

but you know what I think would be really fun? With, I'm gonna put on this white dress and then I'm gonna shoot as wedding. Wouldn't that be hilarious? I did that. So we go to Lala Jameson Ali and Lala's like, so Alice, does that give you the wedding bugs?

And she goes, well, I mean, yeah, it was beautiful. She goes, yeah, that wedding was stunning. Stunning. Stunning. She definitely says stunning. And so then Alice, Lala's asking how James would do it, or Ali asks, and she was like, I don't know how I do that. I know I'm very creative. And Lala's like, well would do it or Ali asks and she was like, I don't know how I do that I know I'm very creative and Lala's like well you wanted to do it and pump spring stethers

Before and so James gets all mad She's like what oh like because you had that in your mind for like a sack, you know and James like what that was my last relationship But this can be a new one. Can we not gonna do pump springs for this one. We're gonna do Palm desert. Palm desert. She's like, am I triggering you? And she's like, well, hopefully it will be our idea one day. Me and this person here. Me and...

Rekel, the second Rekel. Maybe it'll be ours. And then I was like, yeah. And so James tells us, if it's not a dig, I'll tell you this. It's like one of my number one hits It's a stupid thing to say long on right But you know she's still like butt hurting somewhere like how didn't look at for me La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la It's like, oh, I got into big trouble. Oh, she said more or less, I don't ever want to talk to you ever again. And then we see Katie's texts, which were like, I hate you.

Never speak to me again. The one fucking thing, both are trash. I hate you, I hate you. I kind of hate Nanger. I feel for you, you can't even imagine. Yes, I never want to speak to you again. Of course, Katie, this is like a tequila. This is a good old fashioned tequila, Katie text,

which I love because she says she never wants to speak to you to you again, but she says it in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine different texts, hoping that you'll text back when. You know what I mean? When you're like, bloop, and I'll just wait to see if he texts back. Oh, really? He's not texting back again.

Okay. Never speak to me that gay gang man. Boop. I never want to speak to you again. And here's my follow up text to reassert that. And I know if we solve the timestamps on this shit, though, those would be like two to three minutes apart each while she's just waiting for him to text her back.

Oh, I felt like thrilling to get a little piece of tequila Katie back. So just because it's, you know, before she became self-conscious, she used to unleash tequila Katie all the time. It was such a chaotic craziness. Yes. So, yeah, she, we're, we're,ikels trying to flirt and he's talking about Katie, you know, just typical. And he's like, yeah,

well, I don't think she means that she won't talk to me again. I mean, I hope she doesn't mean it. And she's like, well, I mean, it's not like we're a couple or anything. Oh, speaking of, I hope you don't have hard feelings about the last minute switch of walking.

It's just kids in rehearsal, your walking skills run up to my standards. And then so he starts walking with funny again. And she's like, oh my God, so elegant. Also, there was a lot of about Katie. Oh my God, I haven't seen Katie since. Oh, she's gonna give me a look. I know the look she's gonna give me. I almost want to go up and meet her with her. I got it to get to Katie. It's like, ha, fail. Re-calf fail.

Where are we gonna say? Yeah, now I was gonna say when she said like, oh, sorry, your skills weren't up to my standards. And also I found a much hotter version of you. So I went back to the joke. That guy is not any version of Schwartz. I don't see what anybody is talking about. Schwartz could never. Joey wins every every argument.

Joey wins Joey on the cast. So there's just more wedding stuff. There's a good first dance. She does basically like by the way, did you see Walter in the background of one of these scenes? No. There was I think it was the scene where they were talking about. I think it was the scene where they're talking about James's wedding, potential wedding. Walter was just in the background of talking. I was like, there's a lot of them. That's cute.

I didn't know they went. Yeah, so she does like everyone I want is here. Like witnessing this moment with us, it could not be more perfect. I don't even know what word to use to describe this feeling right now. And Chaladas. Yeah, I think that was it.

That was the word. I think it's so funny that she did the dirty dancing thing for the pervert way. It's just so she know, you know, for them to do the dance. And then he lifts her up and she's balancing her stomach with her arms out. And then firework things go off besides them. And then Santa falls like, well, I'll take off my sunglasses for that. Would you fuck out of here, dude? It's my time. Were you wearing your sunglasses for your fucking pose or?

So then she and I was like, I don't even know what, where it's to you right now. Corner, what's happening? Quick talk. I think I'll have one of each of the prom cocktails. So now we go back to Katie and Christina. So another restaurant.

I think this may have even been the restaurant. So much. If I went to, it's not that resort living where there's three restaurants and you gotta go from one to the next to the next and they all have mediocre food. So they're sitting there and Christina is checking to see if Lala, hold on. Let me see if Lala texted She didn't text wait hold on. Yeah Probably not she's not texted. Yeah, she's checking. Yeah, go ahead. Why don't you check? Okay? Okay? Okay? She hasn't done wait wait wait wait wait. I'm telling you she didn't text sorry. Yeah

Well, she's probably having fun, which I mean I guess is good. It's not like She's probably having fun, which I mean, I guess is good. It's not like she's not gonna have fun and Christina's like, yeah, it's our last night in Katie. Guess are you sad? Christine is like, I'm gonna miss waking up with you and like getting room service at the end of the day. You're good nothing for nothing If you like knew how the trip was gonna go would you still come on the trip and Katie's like no Like well, that's nice glad Christina took Moments out of her gardening life to be here for you Well, I just I just I mean it's it's kind of funny because you know a Lot of people have been like you know during the hotel debate everyone's like guys

You know like this is the cast trip. Kate, of course, Kate, he had to be there. It's like, yes, Kate, he had to be there, but also Kate, he had to anticipate that it was just gonna be just like a shit sandwich just thrown at her face, right? Like, like, so now she's like, no, I wouldn't have come if I had realized that.

It's like, well, it's like, you've been on the show for 10 years and you know, it's always gonna be high drama on this cast trips. So then, someone throws some flame on the show for 10 years and you know it's always going to be high drama on this cast trips. So then someone throws some flame on the Habachi and the fire goes, and Tom's shorts is right behind it. And here is the shits sandwich. The shits sandwich has arrived.

I love the new kind of fire entrance. That was so funny. It's like, what? He's like, hi, hi guys. So this guy, what is he doing here? He does not have to be here. Like she is so agitated, she is so angry, rightfully so. And then he's gonna come in and just like.

You don't know what he's doing. He's coming to make Katie look like a bitch on national TV. Again, that's what he does. He pulls her right into looking like a total asshole. And then she falls into it every single time. Although this time, I'm not gonna go down that Katie looks like an asshole point because it is nice to see Katie actually get a chance

to tell his stupid ass off. Yeah, I actually think that Katie did not look like an asshole in this situation. No, I'm just saying. My question was rhetorical because it's like, of course he's coming here to make her look bad, to make him look good and her look bad. Exactly.

And he's not coming here for like to be a good, like a good ex-husband or anything like that. No. So he's like, oh, hi. I just want to say hi, Forsack. And Christina's like, how did you know we were here? And he's like, well, I was creeping around for a second and he's like, Oh, like, Kris around for a second and then, he's like,

I'm like, crows said in here, in here. It's like, crows led me through a dark fog. And this is where I ended up. Well, this looks delicious and he takes a piece of the sushi and eats it and Katie has, one of their pieces of sushi. And Katie has that hate look in her eyes and she's like, why aren't you at the wedding?

And he's like, I just wanted to say hi. I mean, I didn't want there to be any weird tension or anything. And Katie's like, I think we're away past that because how far away past? How far? How far? Is it like Valley to Encino? Or is it like West Hollywood to like Malibu? Like how far? It is literally Marina Del Rey to any place in Los Angeles that far. So he's like, well look, we know we've been divorced for seven months, like what doesn't matter?

What does it matter? So here he is coming here under the guise of making things right and already coming at her, you know? And Christina's like, I mean, you know what it matters. I'll tell you what it matters, Katie, I've done my part. You have to say they rest the sentence. And the Katie's what it matters, Katie. I've done my part. You have to say the rest of the sentence. And the kid is like, well, we've had this conversation and you promised you would never do that. And you also promise for months that you would never

do that. And then you did that in the most humiliating public way towards me. And I'm done with you disrespecting me. Stan's born, and he's like, I didn't realize everyone was watching. Of course he was being cheered everyone was watching. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha didn't have any hatred for you, but now I do. No sandwiches from you had something about her. Telling you that right now, do not come to me looking for free carbs. Yeah, my restaurant's gonna be called something about her slash something not about him. So then she goes, well, that sucks for you.

And so, Katie's this fucking guy, right? By the way, I feel like it should have been no friendship, no amicability since the start, personally.とても、アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか? アメカビルの人があるのか? アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか? アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか? アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの人があるのか?アメカビルの and negativity that you caused Schwartz. That's like you, but you created the toxicity and negativity. Well, she kind of helped with the whole like, Reckhound, someone who she could make me like.

She's primed for it. But I think in this moment, she's right. So I'll stick with her. She's 100% right in this situation. So she's like, Tom, I thought you genuinely cared about me. Am I feelings and keeping this amicable? And a short is like, this is exhausting. I'm not going to lie, which I have to say to both of you, it is. You've always been fucking

exhausting. You're both horrible. This couple's terrible. You've been a terrible couple, and you've been terrible people individually. And together, I'm done watching you. Go away now, please, please go somewhere else. Okay. Both of you go plant yourself somewhere else and grow beautiful gardens off of my Television and you you get the same as Joe Gorga and Teresa. Judy's to me go. Just go now. We're done. We're done here. Check please. So Katie's like Tom did just burn the bridge between us. He nuke it and I'm like that's a hundred percent true But also anytime like I know people who break up and they always go through this pattern, trying to be friends afterwards, and then it always goes terribly.

You always wind up in a worse situation than if you just taking some time away from each other. And there's always this moment like, well now it's over, now they've ruined it all. I'm like, well, I'm like, yeah, but you're not in the relationship anymore, but I understand. It's with divorce, it's more complicated than that, but I'm just kind of like, I just like, move on, move on from this, this, this walking turd. You don't

need him anymore. Go forward. You don't need someone to come in and eat your sushi that you paid for. Yeah. So then Katie gives a very, she has a very nice turn in the scene I had to applaud her because she just goes get the fuck out of my face I think you're pathetic. I think you're a drunk and I think you're a loser So it's her best moment of the season finally we've been trying to tell you that for 10 goddamn years I'm so fucking glad you're finally here. Welcome to the table Yeah, I was really happy. I was really happy. I was like, finally, like, yes, you are acknowledging what we're seeing. You can move forward now. Stop trying to be friends

with this person. Just move forward. And like, now enter your glory era. So short, like, well, this doesn't affect me at all because I don't give a fuck anymore. This is not hurt me. I am disconnected from you. Like, well, then why did you come here to the sushi restaurant? And he's like, I love you, but this does not hurt me. I am disconnected from you. I'm like, well, then why did you come here to the sushi restaurant? And he's like, I love you, but this does not hurt me. I'm disconnected. And he tells us, for the longest time, I felt like Katie was divorcing me. But after the kiss, there's some finality now.

I feel divorced, and I think it's so funny that he and Sandivall say the same thing. They feel miserable and sad, but then they kiss a younger, hotter woman, and it makes them feel free again. You guys are such lame fucking stereotypes, and I can't wait till you get both, both of you get cheated on, and she takes you for everything you're worth. Whoever the next one is,

because you guys are losers and look at people as nothing but like a validation tokens for your own, you know, age, aging, weathered ass, ballabon, porn stash, idiot asses. So I can't wait to see what comes to you in the future. Yeah. So Schwartz is like, you know what, you need Katie, humility. You don't know what that is. I'm like, sir, you need to leave.

You, you, you, you, you barked up this tree. And this tree was busy eating sushi. And you ate some of that true sushi. You need to leave right now. You should have been kicked out the moment he sat there after making out with a girl that, like she said, these don't make out with her. He comes in and sits down at eight a piece for sushi.

Oh, God, that made me so mad. So, Kristina, it's like, you need to go. So he goes out and then he starts doing his little dance thing where he's like, hi, bye everyone. Bye. Like, oh, God, it's so transparent. His cutesy, awestucksy thing all the way out the restaurant. After he just got his ass handed to him. Exactly. I'm realizing now it's not healthy to hang out that much after a divorce. No matter how much you care about that person,

love them. It's a good idea to take a nice, healthy break. Which is what I've been saying since the beginning of the season. So anyway, I feel like those validation all over the place. So, Rekel is now talking to La- I'm like, oh, the episode's over, but no. Requel's gonna talk to La La now. And Requel's like, hey, I just wanna say,

I feel bad about my comment that I made to you at the pool party, even though what I said to you is just so much tamer than anything you've ever said to me over the past five years, but I feel bad about it, so I'm sorry. And Mama's like, yeah, I'm still confused. Like, I thought we had a really fun trip, some begoth and a really beautiful moment in the car.

So I'm not really sure where the disconnect swess. Okay. Well, you don't. But also, what I'm realizing in this scene too is Lala and those girls don't know that Raquel heard them talking about her and laughing about her, right? I'm not sure, but they still, like, they still, they do know that they said to Raquel, like, I don't trust them. I'm, my man around you.

And you know what? As it turns out, they shouldn't. And their gut was correct. But at that moment, they didn't know their gut was correct. Yeah. And so Raquel's like, well, I'm confused about why you guys were like honing in on me so much. And she's just, well, I'll be confused.

You know, look, I don't think you remember anything in Vegas because she drinks, and I don't drink. So you're an alcoholic. So basically, no one was judging Keele, OK? Nobody. What's judging Keele? And then we see a clip. I would never trust you around my man. And then we see a clip. I would never trust you

around my man. And then Christina saying, guys, she's in their listening to music. I'm all going, Kater Swift and Christina saying, yeah, and the whole room is covered in lights. And Mama saying, guys, is she gonna murder us tonight?

They totally weren't being judgmental. Girls are such mean girls and they're called out. Lala's the best at this, just turning it around and showing zero, she'll turn it around and just give on zero points. She should be in politics. She'd be actually really good at it.

Also, like Lala's whole thing that she always says is like she goes hard, like the whole thing when she said, like I see you guys aren't working in her summer bodies. Then she'll say, oh, I, you know, I sky I go really mean because you know if someone comes at me I come back harder like that's her whole thing She's one of those people you come at me I come back 10 times harder So what does Lala Lala says something to Raquel even though it happens to be true later on But she says like I wouldn't trust you with my man

Raquel comes back with something and then she's like, I cannot believe she would say that. Like Lala is literally reacting the way that Stasi and Kristen and Katie reacted when she said like the summer body's thing and Lala was like, they just have to get over it. So like there's so much hypocrisy, but you know what though, I'm not mad about that hypocrisy.

I'm actually embracing it and loving it because it's really wonderful to have this season where we get to like have these emotions and experiences again. So Rekelle Kels like I didn't get the feeling you guys were laughing with me and all of us like you felt like we were laughing at you. Well you were all over the place for Kels and she goes well I know I guess I was a bit of a drunk mess and she goes yeah and guess what that's fine because we're in Vegas. It's like then why are you then why are you saying that?

Like, you can't remember anything. You don't know anything going on. You're treating her like she's Jane Fonda in Flute where she just wakes up and can't remember anything. You know, like, what a weird, what a random thing to bring up. I love that. I love that.

I saw a clip of that the other day somewhere. I was like, oh, this movie. But you're acting like she was just completely drunk and drugged out of her mind or something. So anyway, Rick Hellsake, one of my friends wouldn't judge me for being drunk in Vegas, basically. And she goes, no one did judge you, which we just saw the clip of you guys doing that.

And so Rick Hellsake, well, I don't know if Lola has a bad memory or she thinks mean girl behavior is normal, but this gaslighting thing is exhausting. Rick Hells, it just seems like you guys need to pick up a hobby because all you can do is talk about me. And apparently hobby is the worst thing you can ever say in bravo. Flash-practic jules errands because Lala is like, hobby bitch. I don't care about this.

What I do care about is how you've affected my friend. It's gross, I think it's dirty, and I think it's disgusting. And I think you need to find yourself a squirc. And Rick Hale's like, okay, well accountability for making out with Schwartz, so it's like a probably a million other things I could have done that would have been

a lot worse than that. Just, oh really? I think your self worth comes from the approval of a man's. I think have done that would have been a lot worse than that. Just really, I think, just felt worth comes from the approval of a man. I think you have a mental breakdown coming and I think you're gonna need some love and I think you're gonna need some supports. I mean, not wrong.

And then, Rick Helms, not wrong, but also coming from Wala. It's like, okay, you totally changed when you found your man. You totally became a real housewife of Beverly Hills above everybody with your PJ and you're this and that. And you know what, listen, Ronnie, like why are you coming from Lala? She's like with a man right now

who's got a honeycomb tattoo, like that's hot. So, Rekel's like, well, I always need love and support and I appreciate people that give it to me. And Lala's like, well, you appreciate that Bob there. Oh, you appreciate that Bob there ahead. And you appreciate people that Bob there had and tell you that everything's good. So good night.

Good night. Yeah, I'm recalls like you have a good night too. And it's six out of their tongue. So then we got a Katie and Christian in the saddest empty club for, of course, they're gonna end up. So Katie's like, T'Kyla, Katie likes to turn up in a rage tax,

but Wine Katie takes things a little bit slower, but she still gets the same things done. And so she does her typical thing, which she did at Sheena's wedding last time, which is like make fun of shit, or I guess that was Stasi, they should clips of making fun of shit. So she sits down, she's looking at wedding footage and making fun of it and being like, oh my God, like look, the guy who married them is literally the same guy

who married she and I and she. And you're crying over the same fucking loser. What's your fucking point? And you're still sitting here making fun of somebody else's wedding who's actually happy at the moment while you're stalking them in Mexico, man. Oh, oh my God, I just looked at footage of sheenas wedding. Her mom is still the same mom as in the first wedding. That is ridiculous. Why would you hire somebody different?

Hey, if they did a good job the first time, give McCall, maybe you'll get a discount for the second time. Maybe it's like her uncle, like, I don't know. I just feel like it's, listen, I have died on a lot of really weird and strange and stupid hills. And this one, I think this is, so I know what it's like to die on a, die on a, on a, on a non-hill. I think Katie, Katie is taking the cake with this one. So, um, you're sitting there at the end of a miserable week for you watching literally the happiest person

in the world right now, sitting on them because you're so fucking miserable and then bragging that tequila Katie is back. No, it's not, I don't, I don't. I don't. Because everybody's not sitting around relishing in it. You just look so happy, dude. I don't mind Katie racking on the wedding

because I think that's part of Vanderpump rules. We always say like, she's just like laying around, but you know, it's like, I just wanted a rag better. So Katie's basically like saying how, Kristen's like, so what happens next? Do we get to go be around human beings and Katie's like, you know what? The same thing that's always been next for me. Me, my healing process has sped up a lot further because of this weekend. And Christine's like, oh yeah, well, you haven't had that with that

Keep Boy that looks like Timothy Chalmay and Radelle Yankebyk at the same time. She's like, yeah, Keep Boy. And, you know, he's got emotional intelligence and he does great parody songs. Okay? And it's like so much better than Shor says. And she's like, I've only slept with two guys since Tom and one is more casual, but he's 25 and I'm 36. I'm not old enough to be a cougar.

So I'm a puma. How come we don't have those words for men? Um, actually, I think you call them dirty gold pigs until the, you, until they let you write their PJs from what I remember. But Christine is like, um, I'd love to meet them. them dirty gold pigs until they let you write their PJs from what I remember. But Christine is like, um, I'd love to meet them. She was, well, now I can bring him around because I don't have to worry about Tom's feelings anymore.

I was like, yes, finally, she should have a turn where Katie is actually happy the rest of the season. I'm actually looking forward to it. I've got my fingers crossed. You know, these two, everyone has made me, has made me mad at different points, but I actually am genuinely happy that she's realized she doesn't have to have some sort of friendship with Tom to move forward. Like, it doesn't matter who cares if there's a friendship. You guys are broken up. It's time to move forward. You know, he's going to let you down over and over again in your friendship. It's going to be the same dynamics as you had whether you're in

the relationship or not. So move forward, bring around your new guy. And Tom Schwartz, you go off, you do your own thing and you stop fucking around with Katie, like stop mentally manipulating her and just focus on you and whatever booty you wanna get. And you guys live your lives and thrive and all that bullshit. Yeah, and you try to do that because how this ends is slow motion. It's like the soap opera slowmo

where we see Katie being like, and now I don't care anymore about its feelings, it's slowmos into people cheersing at the wedding and then Brock dancing with Sheen and having the time of their lives and then it just cuts to Katie slowly drinking her wine miserably with the miserable look on her face and fade out. So good luck in the future. You definitely deserve better. I hope you get it. Geez, the show is stressing me out. It was, I love the episode.

I thought it was great. It was one of the few bravo wedding episodes that I really enjoyed, because I generally do not enjoy the wedding episodes Well, it's one of the ones that were actually hoodwinked me We're actually started crying in it. It's just very rare for me You know, so like I said, it's not really that rare. Now that I think about it, but anyway We make fun because it's a way to shield our hearts from our real emotions

Poor ass hurt people hurt people. Okay, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We will see you guys next week and go check out our bonus episodes, our videos, all that stuff at Patreon and get your tickets for our live shows over on watch what crappens.com. Okay, we'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice and King!

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the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wundry.com slash survey. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wundry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident, not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

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