Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Insane In The Reptilian Brain

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

Beau's mom attempts to give relationship to the cast of "Vanderpump Rules," and as you can imagine, it doesn't work very well. But at least she does invoke everyone's inner reptile! Plus, Lala sheds light on her epic love story with RANNNND. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying, okay?

Kristi, why were you dowerty? Asli, Savoni? She don't take nobelone! Aaron, McNickolas! She don't miss no trickle-ists! Megan, the Slayer Taylor! Kelly Barlow! When she goes Barlow, we go high-low!

Megan Berg! You can't have a burger without the burr! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson!

Of a Nagila Weber! Lisa Walland. Now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Beches, Beches! And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel! Very grand. The grand master!

Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cabin Anthony! Incredible edible Matthewsisters! And... Mina Kuchikuchi! Watch what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is!

What crap is? What crap is? I have crap! I have crap! Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crapp Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from The Real House Wares of Kitchen Island, which you can watch on YouTube. And joining me is just the most wonderful, most handsome, most loving internet husband I could ever ask for.

It's Ronnie Karam from The Rose Prick's Bachelor's Podcast. What's up, Ronnie? How's that bachelor treating you? Girl, it's eight hours in the next two weeks. I can try to kill me slowly with that virgin mother effort. God Yeah, but it's so fun to talk about and make fun of it's a mess So everybody go listen. It's less two weeks. Hey, yeah, I'm gonna go listen to that So you guys, big, exciting things. This Friday, we are going to DC for our big DC show.

We're gonna talk about Real House House of New York. Season premiere there. So by the way, if you're listening like, where is that season premiere recap, just wait till Friday night or Saturday morning. It will be up then. And then next week, oh my God, we're going to South by Southwest.

We are so excited. If you're wondering, like, when are tickets going to sail? The way it works is you can get a badge. And badge holders get first dibs on seats. And then after badge holders, it's people who have reservations. And then if you don't have a reservation, then you're the last group. So that's how it's going to work.

And we're really super excited to go south. I mean, if you don't have a badge and get mine, because it's gonna work. And we're super excited to go south of Los Angeles. I mean, if you don't have a badge and get in line because it's a free show and we're sure that there's gonna be, we don't think a lot of badge holders are really gonna come. I think we think we're gonna be going to like the NPR, like fresh air party, you know. The real housewives of fresh air.

Then they all fight. They're going to like, well, I disagree heartily. There's gonna be like a talk by like Tesla that people will be at. So both the band and the car. So then, but then we also are going to Cincinnati next week. We have two shows, the late show is sold out, but there are still tickets available for the early show. So come see it, because that's going to be a fun, wild, happy hour time.

And then we got plenty of shows after that, which you will probably hear an earful about in the coming weeks, but we will spare you for now. Just go to watchocrapins.com to get all those. And make sure to get your pop art, Luan, T-shirts, and leggings and all that stuff, because they look amazing. You don't know what we're talking about. If you look on our Instagram, there's plenty of people who've been posting amazing photos.

So watchocrapins.com for all that fun stuff. And now, the glory that is Vanderpump Rules. Vanderpump Rules! So we opened this episode of Vanderpump Rules with Trixi Monaco. I don't know if she drunk or what, making the music over there. But she's just like, So we opened this episode of Vanderprime Rules with Trixi Monaco. I don't know if she drunk or what I'm gonna make in the music over there, but she's just like

I don't know they Trixi needs to stop drinking at work. Yeah, she's she's a little sourced I do want to also say by the way before we dive into this the summer house Premiere was last night and we are gonna recap that and that'll be up later this week FYI if you're wondering about that sorry. Yeah, sorry, and don't worry. It's a totally different Wednesday of the time It's like it's like a new month. It's no New Danielle Danielle's like I'm fun and a reality so now. Oh, yeah, Danielle. Wow drawing hard much. I know someone effort Jesus She just needs to wear an e-sweat shirt that says e- for effort Yeah, we're at e- entertainment news because she sounds like a red carpet reporter

We're live here at the summer house and I'm in it Anyway, it's the first you don't succeed try try too hard Just try too hard No, girl But we're getting ahead of ourselves on a different show So yes, it's tricky monical. She's wasted. She just is like her lips are just like on the microphone Just she's just not even trying anymore Pull I've been here for 48 hours. I still don't have a good idea. Just just run the record and we'll just see what comes out

I need fish sticks On in fish sticks. On in fish sticks. Pick up my draw cleaning. What runs the Toto sauce bowl? Toto sauce. Oh, I'm at. Coolde, Santa Claus. Santa Claus.

Pol, Santa Claus Toto sauce. I'm like, like, perket up, Trixie, you're still working. Okay, this is your second chance at life after three arm octopus doing the music for banded criminals. Maybe I should get back together my old band. Maybe that's what I should do. They would, Ernie would know how to rhyme talks with something. Oh, Ernie. Then she thinks wistfully about her times with Ernie. Yeah, oh, Trixie Monaco. Well, she's sure making a lot of music, okay for that much. So we open with James driving around and he's calling Tom.

And he's like a bubble head in a car. He's just like, oh brother, I like mate. It's me James. Hello. Jesus Christ, stop the car. Yeah. And so he invites Tom Sanvol to go play golf.

And Tom Sanvol's like, golf! And he's like, there's like sort of like an element of panic in his voice. Like, like shit, I already returned my cute golf outfit from last season and I don't have enough time to find it again. Dude, what am I gonna wear to golf again? Dude, where do I find our guy like this late hour? Dude! He's like, Jack's the boys invite you to, like, what is this guy after? And we find out later, but I'm like golf with Jack's, what's going on?

Yeah, so Tom tells James that Lala and Ringy and broke up and you know, James of course is just like, Revely, and it's like, that's not surprising. 78 year old boy, about 100, he used to break set up with 26 year old wannabe, Revely, and it's like, that's not surprising. 78 year old Boeing fat, how do you say, Bricksept, between 26 year old wannabe actress? Oh, no, I'm not surprised about that. No way at all, no way at all. And he just starts crying for no reason. Like, wait a second.

Young smooth girl, Bricksept with fat man, shocker. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. I was gonna make a forced joke about kids. I know that we live in Los Angeles, and we're just used to seeing that. It's like it looks like old men, old rich men walking around with their nurse, their bedpan nurse or whatever. And we're just, we're used to seeing that and everything.

But that doesn't make it a happy life, you know? And I'm glad that at least somebody is not just pretending like everything's great just because we get to go on a private jet, you know? Lala could be crushed under that thing, okay? Falling fat man. There needs to be like a caution sign, like falling fat man. Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about this Lala situation, but I'm going to hold on to them until we get to that salon scene where Lala really tells us the origin story of her and her and her. Because I'm like, conflicting thoughts, conflicting thoughts.

XXX, X-Men. Yeah. Triple X-Men origin story. Oh my god. Yeah, seriously So now we see Jackson Jackson Brit or at home and Jackson has a big announcement Which is that he has bought Britney for different types of ice cream? I don't know why until much later. Yeah until actually right this moment. I'm realizing why he bought or so much ice cream Why wisdom actual reason? until actually I write this moment, I'm realizing why he bought or so much ice cream. Why? Is there an actual reason? I think it's because the wisdom teeth,

but we don't realize this. You've never really connected. It didn't connect until this moment. This is the version, this is like watching lost. It's Van Aperen, for rules version lost. We'll have an ice cream reference and then a wisdom teeth reference and you have to figure it out. Suddenly comes clear. Yeah, I actually wasn't wondering at all. I was like, oh, that's totally

normal. It's like, it's like, it's for kinds of ice cream. I mean, you're dating Brittany. Like, what do you, what do you expect to buy her? You know that in my beauty babies whenever you're at the airport, you know? I got you another ugly, beanie baby honey. I'm married. Hey, I'm in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but also it kind of made me understand why Brittany would marry Jack's because I really haven't understood until this point But if a man ever came home and was like Ronnie, I bought you four different kinds of ice cream That man is never leaving my side again. Okay, except to go to the store. I have to say that's, that is actually something one of the most charming and lovely things that Jackson's ever done. It was just coming with four different,

but however, I wasn't convinced that they were good I assume, because if he came in with like, hey, I got you four different types of ice cream and it was just like shitty Dixie cups, like generic Dixie cups that you got in school, where like the most flavor comes from the wooden spoon, then I'd be like, you know what, fuck you. You gave me visions of Ben and Jerry's

and like, strange gelato brands. And instead, you gave me like, that frickin generic, whatever, what's that brand? That generic brand. So generic I can't remember it. It comes in a big truck with like a white and blue stripe. Thursday?

No. Drifty? No. No, it's like Cisco. You got me Cisco Dixie cups. Jack. Well, I don't think he knows Brittany very well because he got her strawberry lemonade popsicles and Snickers bar. And like stuff that just like as a binge as a binge for myself, that should don't go together.

There's someone who likes strawberry lemonade popsicles does not like Snickers bar ice cream. Okay. It's not the same palette. You know, people by the way, everyone knows I have a love for straplaffles, but what people don't really know is that my true love are Snickers ice cream bars. Just saying. That's so romantic. Yeah. Yeah. Those are similar flavor patterns, right? Because caramel. whatever. OK, so you love yourself. That's my point of point. Thank you for drawing yourself. Yeah, thank you for connecting those two things. So they both started to talk.

And Brits like, that's for law, law. I just had to point out how she says, law, law. So I actually broke up with Randall. And Jack's is like, yeah, I saw a crime, but it wasn't my business. So I didn't want with Randall and Jack's is like yeah, I saw a crime But you know like it didn't it wasn't my business. So I didn't want to write Jack. Yeah, please shut up Jack's So Lala comes over there totally self-emblem So actually I'm sorry Katie comes over with I think she comes over with the she comes over with Bob

I wrote down Bob Bob's and I was like, so I misspelled Bob uh No, Bob Bob We should big Bob Bob up and fake them up with lolololol Bobbobbs and I was like, do I misspelled Bubba? No, Bobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobb So yeah, Katie brings over baby bottles to put vodka in which is very supportive since La La quit drinking Fucking Katie, okay, that's your friend. Oh my oh, no, no, no, La La's back. No, but La La's back on a very professional, all right Stop barking over there. You're The matter by the word Katie Bueller Bueller hears Katie and Bueller's like, you know what? I'm on board with the Katie hate. I'm just out

I'm gonna bark. Yeah, he saw our outfit on watch what happens live. That's for Dancer. He's like more to fight. I watched the promo. I didn't watch the episode, but Katie looked like she had a bird shit in her hair and Andy was like coming up. We got Stasi in Katie and Katie. We're gonna talk about that. And then it cut off before you could say here. I'm so sorry. Someone is knocking in my door. Oh my god. Now I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and like he could do to be like seven minutes or less.

It's like amazing. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and

Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows? It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. Okay, it's about a run. No, you're still talking. Who's talking? Tell them to come on the podcast.

I think I came to my door. Tell them to come on the podcast and I'm gonna say a word to him, okay? Tell me got mad. He's like got belligerent because I wouldn't like talk to him. Who is this person? It's a lot of my door. It's a very affordable something. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Why is he knocking on...

No, no. First of all, it's called 2019. All right, it's called... He should be spending spam email, not knocking on doors. That is such an outmoded form of annoying people for serious And you say go away and he stands there. I'm gonna get a stalking injunction against that fucker. Oh my god He is awful and I I'm I'm so I'm enjoying this like I have What did you call that like by curious anchor? I'm anywhere that I hate when people mock on my door

And then when you say no, I don't have time. And then it just keeps talking. Who does that? OK? Yeah. I just want to mention this was all brought upon us by mentioning Katie. OK.

Let's mention Katie and look at all the chaos that has happened on the podcast. Fucking Katie's outfit. Katie's outfit with a birch in her hair on Watch What Happens Live. Yes. OK, so what did Katie look like? She looked like. Katie's outfit with a birch in her hair on what happens live. Yes. Okay. So what did Katie look like?

She looked like... God. She looked like someone who would date my aunt, Josie. My aunt is being aunt Josie. Like back in the day, Josie would date women with like big, you know, grave afros and then like polyester suits from the 70s. Okay. That's what Katie looked like.

I was like, are you on our bowling league now? Like, what the fuck, Katie? Yeah, she looked like she had wanted to test the temperature of like oil with her hair. Like, she just sort of like, self-down into like an oil puddle and then like the oil, and then she's like, oh wait,

now I've got oil in my hair, you know? Well, yeah, and then she took a pick because you know, that's why you don't ever listen to your sick offense when they tell you you look great because they're lying. They're just being nice to you, okay? Because everybody, Andy is like, oh, Katie, you're hair. Wow, and so Katie's out to, so really good.

And poor thing went on her Instagram. I was like crediting her hair guy. I mean, I just felt so bad for her. It literally looked like everyone really hates your ass when they let you do that. Yeah, you know, like, Yeah, she looked like a park bench that has been, had been shit all over.

You know, it was like, you know, like the camera adds 10 pounds, the camera also adds like more bird shit to your hair. Okay. It does that, so don't do it. Okay, these like the, she looked like she was trying to be a white walker on Game of Thrones. It's like, you're the first person to be rejected as a white walker, okay?

They wouldn't even turn Katie into a white walker on Game of Thrones. It's like you're the first person to be rejected as a white walker, okay? They wouldn't even turn Katie into a white walker. She looked like someone had actually broken an egg on her head and had just cleaned it up, but they were still yoke that was left over. Yeah. It was just like, she was like someone thought her head was a pancake bowl. And they're like, oh shit,

I was gonna try to make pancakes, but it's actually a head of a lady. So, some very misguided person who wants to make pancakes at night. It was like, there it is, there's my bowl. Yeah, it was just, it was just terrifying. They put the egg in and the baking powder and then before they realized their issues. Who's the lad, I'm trying to Janet Reno.

That's what I was getting. I was getting Janet Reno vibes. I was like, watch out, Waco! Okay, so... Yeah, it's a convenient narrative. You know what, David Kuresh has a very convenient narrative. So anyway, so Lala comes over to Brittany and Jackson's place and Brittany's like, Lala, Lala, we've been thinking about you, I mean to be fair, I was also just singing the like la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la that it's getting out of control. And Katie cannot even hide the hatred on her face that she has for Britt Meanymore. It wasn't a later scene that she'll get to, but Katie's just looking at her,

like you fucking kidding me. Yeah. Why do you talk like that poodle face or poodle head face? So Lala's like, well, that lasted 17 hours. I was like, oh man, meaning that they are back together. And I'm like, you know what, I hate that. I hate that, like you gather, someone who like gathers their friends around, cries, talks about like burdens them with all this emotion, which the point where they're like getting bobs and filling

them up with vodka, et cetera. And it's like, oh, yeah, like less than a day later, you're back together. No, mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't like that either. I don't ever trust people like Lala anyway when they say they break up because when your friendship is based on many, there's always more money. Like they're never going to really break up unless he dumps her for someone younger, which will probably happen in like five or six years or when he runs out of money. So unless I read a bankruptcy notice on the internet, reddara on mine, my favorite French magazine, then I won't believe that they're really broken up. Yeah, exactly.

So she just gives a whole, I'm just like a really emotional person right now when I saw Randall living, Rand, living his best life. I just got really mad, but he gave me my Gucci slides back and, you know. Yeah. Lava wanted her slides.

And Katie's like, where did jacks go So that's how Katie says everything and jacks is upstairs playing his Like a Rajban drums next when the on sign that says jacks is cave You know, it's like when when when you hate parents like you have friends that are parents and you hate them and you're like Hey, I bought your baby drums You know You're not seeing me anymore. It's like you know that you're gonna be torturing them for the rest of their life

That's what Brittany did to herself by by getting Jackson stupid drums I know and that stupid sign jacks cave I mean I never saw that movie the descent. It's supposed to be like terrifying movie about these like women who they're like climbing into a cave the descent. It's supposed to be like terrifying movie about these like women who they're like climbing into a cave. But I just feel like the next sequel to this the descent can just be called the descent. Jacks is cave and they just like show up at the mouth of the cave and just like all die. Like they don't even have to descend. It's just like yeah, they just get to the cave. According to the news, it's all Jacks is X's. We're like like ghost zombies now coming to get you in the carman is in there. She's like, remember me?

I look like the seagull from the team. Oh, Laura. Mine, mine, mine. Laura Lee's hell is just getting dumped over and over right after an A meeting in the hell cave. Val is in there covered in dirt. The chunky sweater is like trying to fight this way home. The protein powder. We need our container. The jacks is old boobs that were he discarded. That other girl who was not Carmen, but Jack's dating at the same time as Carmen.

But no one remembers who she is. She's just hanging from us the lactite. So if you're not afraid of the jacks gave, dissent the Jacks gave, then Maulikes or Brittany explains what it is. She's like, yeah, he's in his cave. It's just a fart closet. Like crack yourself up, which is probably so true and so wrong. So that Katie's like, so movie, right?

Lala, but you totally got fair and square against all those other actors and she's and Britney's like, are you nervous to say I heard it's gonna be in the Burbank film festival. Are you so scared nervous? And Lala tells us about her film, The Row, which you might remember from an iTunes sale, the day after it came out. Yes. But it's called The Row. And she's like, I put a lot of time and effort

into my character because I place someone who's approved. And that's weird for me. You're lying, Lala, because some of us have seen you in the future of film, pitching love and catching faith, and you were also prudent that. So actually, we know you've done the character work before, all right? Yeah, you have practice, okay. No one's going to call you a method actor, but you're well-practiced. Don't give me that. Yeah, still a still a badler zing. So yeah, so and so the plan is that there's the premiere of the tomorrow night at like, you know, I don't know, the Beverly Center or something. And then afterwards, Lollis is going to go out and celebrate with Rand alone. So like we need a little alone time.

Uh, yeah, we're gonna bomb. You know, I've always said on the show, I love a proud hoe. And I totally agree with that. And Lala basically is the proudest hoe that she's the proudest of hose that have ever been on television. Absolutely. And as little as I respect her career path or her choices, I would like to say as a great auntie to people on Bravo.

You go proud, Ho. I mean, you are really caring about Ho, Flag, Hi, and you're running with it. Yeah. Hey, who might have suggested you actually go to college and become an accountant? Yeah, living the dream girl. I mean, it's a big fat dream

that will probably crush you one day. Yeah, you go. She got to go to the can film festival and Santa and I read carpet with Rand and John Chavolta for I'm assuming the premiere of the thoroughly misunderstood feature film, Gotti, but that's pretty cool. They're really misunderstood Because you know, here's the thing. The Mafia genre, it just, it's really rough. It still hasn't wrapped its head around Mafia.

It's a rough cell. It's a hard cell. Rough cell, people know, yeah. You know Hollywood, all about its morals. Hollywood, they just hate glorifying criminals, especially white ones. So now over at Vanderpump Dogs, where the star of two franchises greets us. Mr. John Sessa.

Break out star of 2019. He really is. You know that guy's getting so much peeing around West Hollywood. He is causing so much drama all over Bravo. And right now he's not really causing drama and Vanderpump pets. He's just like, where should we put that back then? And Lisa's like, well, it really gives some to the center, but eventually we like this to be a profit-making business. Sure, don't argue about that!

Yeah, he's like pulling it. He's like bringing out to read stock. Anyone recognize this talk? No, I'm show. I mean, if you want to show it, I have this was totally unplanned, Stasian though. So Stasian, what would you like your little dog? What is its name? Doreet would return me and have me killed. That's its name. It's like refund. Yes, that's what Doreet should have asked for. Okay. Thank you for coming in to further my other show story line. Okay, thank you for coming in to further my other show story line. Yeah, so they yes So Stostin Boer there and so is Schwartz Schwartz is getting his dog clean because the dog rolled around in a dead bird

So it's good to see that it's learning from its master otherwise known as Katie side of the bed Otherwise known as Katie's new hair product You know sometimes Katie, fills me with rage. And sometimes it just fills me with pure utter joy. Yeah. Today is one of those days. I'm feeling really good about, I'm feeling really good about our relationship. I feel I'm really happy for you right now.

So, um, so basically Lisa started asking Stasi about how the girl trip went. And Stasi said it was it was great except that Kristen turned into Satan um and because Carter was making her miserable etc. Isn't it funny because Satan has a bad day and he says he's turned into Kristen doody. Isn't it funny because Satan famously also falls over on coffee tables. Because Satan famously also falls over on coffee tables. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, but the good thing with the devil is that he doesn't wear a ridiculous black and white stripes. What is that? He wears Prada So, uh, yeah, Chris Stasi's like, um, all Chris said tells me it's how miserable she is with Carter aS. It's like it's like how I was with Patrick

The only difference is like she's way older than me. So she has no excuse. She should know better. Listen, I know you've been in a good relationship for about five minutes. And congratulations, but you're you're acting like jacks where it's like he's been normal for five minutes and now he's going to lecture everybody else. Okay, you don't get to suddenly call Christian crazy. Christians always been crazy. Yeah, it's like getting mad. The Ben and Jerry's like suddenly has nuts in always been crazy. Yeah, it's like getting mad the Ben and Jerry's,

like, suddenly has nuts in it, okay? Yeah. Do you think you're mad allowed? I hear it's sort of funny they mention that, because I get mad at Jack trying to fool us into thinking he's a nice guy. But I'm okay with the Queen Bee deciding that she's reformed and then just being totally shady and bitchy to her

minions because I like that sort of shit. I like when the women are mean to each other on the show. Yeah, you're for it. You're all for it. I'm all for it. So yeah, so basically Bo's mom is coming into town and she's going to be doing a relationship workshop with everyone, which clearly is going to go very well. So now we go over to Tom and Ariana's apartment and they are talking about how they want to move out.

They want to get out of their apartment that they've been in this entire show with this like Ratti Brown carpet. And even though it has that new adulting credenza, it's still, you know, it's still not quite enough. So they're looking to buy. Yeah, you know, there's really no other option because to rent a new place, it's going to cost so much money because we live in this same neighborhood. It's like $3,500 for one bedroom, not even kidding. So that's ridiculous. But I live like them where I'm like, this sucks. Like if I can't my coffee maker, when I turn on my coffee, it turns out all of my electricity in my house to see that ugly ass window unit behind me. Oh, I should cover that. That window you know behind me, I can't have a microwave or a toaster oven,

because if they accidentally go on at the same time, it blows out. It's like, what do you do? You know, I get you, Ariana. I feel you. Yeah. Well, she wants the financial independence of buying a house. Although I feel like financial independence means like, I feel like buying a house. Although I feel like financial independence means, I feel like buying a house is like a different sort of financial slavery. I feel like now just like- You're a financial slavery.

You'll be holding to the banks now instead of a landlord. Yeah, you never own anything. The banks own it. So Tom is like, Uh, dude, so our house should have enough bedrooms for kids. Like maybe one two three Four kids maybe and I mean I was like

Ariana says um, I always keep on my headphones because like if he gets on my nerves I just can just like press play on classical music and then they show her with their little air pods Just like pretending to listen to him while she listens to music. Yeah. And she's basically like, I don't want kids, and I want people to stop asking if I want kids. Like everyone shut the fuck up. Which I think.

Stay out of my year to rats. Yeah, yeah. And Tom's like, oh, he's like all-built and sad. Ooh, sad Tom. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my thought has always been like, if you're with somebody who wants kids and you don't want kids you probably don't belong together. But then they came across a wonderful idea later on in the show.

Which we're going to. I like the idea of Lisa Vanderbub getting just so excited about teasing that scene. Yeah, she knows how to sell. Okay, so then the next tricky monical song is Lala based. It's Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lala Lita boy. Get on it boy. Get on it boy. Lala Lala Lala Lita boy. You know, speaking of music, did you see that there was a video from yesterday of a high school chorus or choir that performed good as gold. Yes. That was... Make out for God at the...

It was amazing. And I was like, listening to that song, I realized that good as gold really was destined to be a high school choir song. Cause it is so high school choir. And they were doing all this like frenetic choreography where there's like a lot of pointing and swinging and swirling and capes. And it was like this frenetic choreography where there's like a lot of pointing and swinging and swirling and capes and it was like

This frenetic energy and I just have to give like a standing ovation to that high school for for having the artistic vision To do good as gold by Shinomari just really brilliant work that Lee Club director I mean wow. Yeah, who goes into the meeting like we're doing good as gold from Fander Promo Well, the truth is that good as gold from Vander Prompolis. Well, the truth is that good as gold is actually a rock and song. It isn't an amazing song. It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

Epcot, Centauri. You know, when you go get a soda, but the lines like three-era song, and then are you here the whole time on a loop? And at the end of the entertainers come up, dresses like Aladdin and Jasmine, and they start singing it on a stage And you're like, oh my god for the 10th time and then like that there's someone there's like some parent sitting in the front row

With their like kid and they're like clapping the kids hands together to it. Oh Like you're giving your child your bad rhythm whitey sit down It the child wants to clap the child will clap don't do it for them okay yeah calm let the child be moved by the spirit not your spirit yes nor bore okay I'm like now we're mad at random people at Disney Land you see we're having a chance to play a little bit that was a real I loved I really love that picture that we painted of standing in tomorrow land, watching a parent clap their

toddler's hands while I hate that. You know what I'm not even trying to do that. I'm not even trying to do that. Like look at that parent clapping their child. That's never been pointed out to me before, but I realized like how much anger I've had. I never thought about it ever before until this moment, and I'm also realizing I have a lot of anger about it too. It's like you're trying to sell like everyone

on how happy you are and your child is, and neither of you are happy in this moment. Yeah, we're all miserable. Good as gold is plague, okay? Okay, so anyway, back to, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la because Britney's like, I have a T does seven to die coke and he's like, T does and soda and Rose, I'm so funny, I'm very man man. No, I was embarrassed for Britney. I mean, I'm often always embarrassed for her, but I was particularly embarrassed there. So then we go over to the...

Britney's a proud stealth hoe. Yeah. So I'm like, for Britney... We're at these are proud stealth ho. So I'm like, forbred. She's like putting up with jacks while getting her show. Yeah, that's true. So we then go over to the host of Stan where Lala is like, it's so hard over here, people keep calling. It's like this job is hard, telling people

no reservation required. Difficult. It's like hard telling people no reservation required. Oh, difficult. It's like hard inspiring people. You know how hard it is going up to waiters and being like, turn the tables on your life. Turn the tables, okay. Rand keeps coming up to me and like clapping my hands together. I'm like, Rand, I don't like the song. So Katie comes over to the host to stand and somehow now the host to stand is like all the way to They put the host to stand out lifter is kids really good.

Billy is like okay, you're not gonna have me this fucking season even though I'm the only person who has any sort of drama with anyone Fine, here's my revenge. I'm putting a center block under this host stand and making life hard for Lala. Yeah, it's like it rose. It's so weird. The Katie looks like the guy from Home Improved and made it stop. Over the wall. Katie's going down a staircase. She's like, Mimey down a staircase behind the day. Yeah. Stupid Katie. So Lala's like, yeah, it's intense. Like tomorrow I'm walking into red carpet and like, I'm host to think. But I'm shitting bricks, like, don't get me wrong. And Katie's like, you're a movie star.

You know how much this fucking kills Katie? Yeah. That Lala ended up becoming a movie star. And it's so funny. Her face, she cannot hide it. She's like, you're a movie star. Yeah. Katie still hates Lala, but she doesn't want to bear the brunt of like all of us hating on Katie for hating Lala. So she has to bite the bullet and be like, oh my

god, I'm so proud of you. And you're direct to DVD, your video on demand role on the row. I can't wait to look for it on Direct TV Channel 189, airing once a week at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday. I call it day to day. Lala. She's like, you know, like I'm an actor, but I've never really thought of myself as a scramer. And Katie's like, I've heard you scream. She's like during sex.

I'm like, God, Lala. Because you know that Lala and Rand's like, I've heard you scream. She's like, during sex, I'm like, God, blah, blah. Cause you know that blah, blah and random like that on all these trips that they invite everybody. Yeah. They just like screen fuck the whole time and everyone's like, oh, they have to pretend they like it cause they need a ride home, you know? Yeah.

I know. It actually makes me mad. It makes me actually like the parent with the toddler again. Cause I'm like, you know what? At least they're quiet, mainly. So, um, so then we have like just, we see lots of stuff happening around sir. We see Harry, James's brother, still like learning how to hold water. Like, there's a bus boy who's like, who like literally picks up two glasses of water and walks away

and you just see Harry's face and he's like, oh, he's like studying it. It's like learning so much right now. I can't eat. You put the water in both of your hands and you move them away like that. Okay, I can do this. So Jackson's outside in the smoking section eating his french fries or whatever. From Chef James. Chef James.

You ordered it specifically from Joe. And James calls and he's like, what is he calling? And of course all of us are wondering, James, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Where are you calling, Jacks? You can just talk like 80 right now. The fuck are you doing?

Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, basically, so, I mean, obviously, James is trying to get any sort of screen time. And so he invites Jacks and Jacks, and he's like, well, I hate James, but I like Tom, and Tom likes him, but I like Tom and Tom likes him and I like golf and it's golf is expensive.

James is gonna pay for it. So yeah, I'll go. Swimmy hangs up and he's like, it's comical. That's such an ass. So Lava and Stas, Lala, Lala. Lala, Stas and Lala are walking down the street and Stas is like, I started spinning. That's hard.

You get so dizzy. Like why is that an exercise just going around in circles? And it's like quick and Stasi's like, yeah, no, Stasi's like it's quick though and Lala's like, yeah, I like things quick and hard. It's like, oh my god, I get it. Yeah. It's like, I feel like last season Lala was in her zone with her new age feminism, you know, my pussy takes it like a champ or my kitty takes, whatever she said. My V takes D if I could champ.

Yeah, but then this year, she sort of was like overshooting the mark and it's just like now, just kind of like trying too hard with everything. Yeah, I like it hard and loud. I like penis. You're like, I'm not slushin' and I'm just saying it's like, in delicate, it's like, just, I don't know.

So they're getting proud ho, and then there's a two proud ho. There's a good proud ho, and then there's just like a showy ho. A showy ho. A weho? A showy ho, or like a showho. If you have. And then there's just like a show. Oh, it's not like a show. A show. A show.

A show. A show. Yeah. It's like be artful. Like you can be a proud home, but be an artful. Be an artful proud home. Yeah. Just be a show.

Yeah. Don't hit us like with the show. Yeah. So she's like, uh, did you have fun at the, would you say Christina's? Oh, she's like, did you have fun at Christina's? And she's like, things happened with Rand. Like, he didn't cheat on me, but like,

he was having a good time. And for the first time in my life, I was like, I am done. And Stasi's like, I could legit not tell anything was wrong. Yeah, Stasi's like, I had no idea. I mean, I know I'm self-absorbed. I like it deep and absorbed. Like Lala finds a way to make it about it. Yeah, there's like, oh there's no but there is there. So anyway, so Lala starts telling Saasibel her rian dishes and their love story and like so actually like We met through the row because he came into sir for like a business meeting to talk about the row

And I'm like already first sign up problems for a movie the formative development meetings to place a sir You know, yeah I don't know and I can't even imagine Rand in sir because look I'm a big guy too, you know Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there, like trying to have a business meeting, you know. And also, any legitimate Hollywood like production, their power lunches do not happen at Sir. Okay, they have, I don't know where they happen necessarily, they're usually in Beverly Hills, the Ivy. There are like places here in Hollywood where it's like, this is the power lunch place. Sir is not one of them. If you're making your movie at Sir, you are, this is, you're on the wrong path. You're making the row. You're making guy your row. That's exactly right. So she's, she's talking about how they met through

the row, but that's kind of an odd way to put it because he was there. He saw her and thought she was hot. So he had his assistant come up and say, are you an actor? And she's like, look at my Instagram, which is as we see in a clip, shots of her butt and stuff like that. Where Katie's like, um, you might be getting jobs from this, but it's not, it's a model. Um, I have to say, okay, first of all, I'm still mad at Katie about that incident. Second of all, this guy does is not going to just like, like he's just not gonna walk up to her and like, like say, like, are you, like, he's gonna send us a system up?

What's her punk move is that? I mean, I know it's like it's a power move to be like, I have an assistant, but that's like the big, that's the doucheyest move I can imagine, sending her a system up to like make your first move on this girl. You're post-mating a hoe.

Yeah, although I guess technically it wasn't. Technically I guess it was more a casting, you know, like, oh, you could be good for this movie. I still think like, why don't you do it? Yeah, yeah, right. You ask a movie executive, why don't you do that yourself? You can direct cleaning. I've got my idea.

Why shouldn't it be different? I don't think it's much different in his mind than picking up his dry cleaning. You know, it's true. Hey, go grab that slag behind that tall. That's true. That tall booth over there. That's true.

You make a very fun point. So her story is that he wanted a date. And then the next she said, look at my Insta. And the next day she gets a call saying you have an audition so she auditioned and then went out with Rand fucked him and then he got to arrange her over the next day. Yeah so okay first I'm not sure about this timeline. It's I don't like the timeline. Second of all because like if you have like a one night stand with someone or even just even if it's not a one night stand

but you like First day and you guys have sex and the next day he's like, oh, here's a Range Rover for you I'm like holy shit. Whoa like I mean that's intense that is like rashing up too much like I'm sorry If someone did that to me like it'd be cool to have the Range Rover but I'm like well now I don't want to be beholden to you because you got me a Range Rover. Also, like, how about next step is dinner? Okay, not a Range Rover. I'm sorry, way too intense. Way too over the top.

I'm sorry. You're living in the wrong town. I mean, I sit here and say, how this hoe that all day long, but guess what I'm waiting for? A Range Rover. Do you know how many free blow jobs I've given? I mean, I'm talking about feeling like a loser.

So Stasi's like, is your vagina made of sparkles? And Mahla's like, yeah, but I had him burnt it off. And she's like, no, not sprinkles, sparkle. I'm like, oh, I don't know, but it works. And yeah, Stasi's basically like me. So basically, I had a guy call me an uber the next day and I thought that was nice. Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the thing. So here's where I have the mixed feelings.

Because I am with you. I am for a proud hoe. I don't think a woman should be slut-shame just because she has sex with a guy or she gets something out of it. Like, go, good for you. Like, you should get set like, do it. You know, like, I do, I'm not going to slut-shamer for that. I just think it's weird on his part.

But at the same time, also for all this like, new way feminism, it does, it is a weird thing, I think, to be like, so I had an audition, I had dinner with a guy who auditioned me, and then he, you know, we had sex. I feel like it's sort of like a weird take on the Me Too movement in a strange way. Like, oh, like if your boss comes onto you, it's cool because you gotta range over out of it. Like, I feel like that's kind of the message it's sending a little bit. Yeah, I just think that it's not real agency.

I don't like the term New Wave feminism because this is not New Wave feminism. This is old school Hoism and you know, I think both there's room for both in the world. Okay. It's a free country I guess hey if it's if it's of your own agency and if it's something that you want then I guess it's all right But I did think it sent a strange Strange image There's like yeah, yeah, oh sorry.. Oh, I had nothing else add to that.

No, yeah, I get what you're saying. But I just, I have more of a problem with plagiarism because Lala's like, like, there's times that I put on a wig and tell him to meet me downstairs at the bar. And then I tell him, like, I'm an actress dying for a job and I blow him a lot. That's kind of like that Reese Witherspoon movie,

Three Christmas's. I mean, she didn't blow that guy a lot for jobs in Hollywood, but it's kind of the same plot line. And I'm wondering how much of this is even real. Was there a part in that movie where Reese Witherspoon said, does Daddy want to play with La La's asshole? Yeah, the movie poster says three just like a three-assass. And then it's just an image of like the shocker. Just ran visiting all his assholes. Right. Ran visiting his assholes. And then I'm just like I went to bed thinking of Lala

sticking her finger up Rance butt. And I'm just you know there's like, God, there's so much. This is a wasteful kind of thing. But there's a lot we just don't need. Okay. And maybe you can just go ahead and do it. And then I'm just like I went to bed thinking of Lala sticking their finger up ramps, but. I'm just, you know, there's, oh God. There's so much, this is a wasteful kind of thing.

There's a lot we just don't need. It made me think of that scene in city's liggers with a calf. Where it came out. I'm very un-pain, okay, I don't know. It's a really, it was a graphic moment, you know. One of these family films talking about. Yeah.

So, so now we go, let's just go on to golfing. So we head over to a golf course and James is like, Lisa says, I can't get my job back unless I make some tangible steps. So I don't really like golf, but anything so that these guys go back and tell Lisa I'm making good decisions. I'm like, yeah, that Jackson's gonna go back

and be like, tangible. Yeah. What James was thinking here. Yeah, golf, which is not known at all for the amount of booze that guys drink when they go golfing. That's what I mean. I don't know. It's just it was pretty creative that they ended the last scene with Lala talking about sticking your fingers up daddy's butt and then open this scene with Jack James going jacks you want a glove Yeah, there's a good parallelism their paralleling whatever so Thomas just had his conversation with Ariana So he's like guys I'm on the very you know, I just want to say that I'd appreciate you guys didn't bring up with Ariana Stuff about having a baby like her you to risk. It's appreciate you guys soon bring up with Ariana stuff about having a baby.

Like her uterus, it's not uterus, it's herterus, right? Dan, Dan, Jack's like, what the fuck? Totally normal, just sitting around being like, when you're gonna get knocked up, slag. No. He's like, so let me get this straight. If I weren't asking so many questions, Ariana would be at home right now pumping out kids

left and right, I don't think so. I'm like, that's funny, because you certainly had a lot of opinions about when people butt into your relationship with Brittany. I seem to remember like a whole season of you saying that things that would, you and Brittany would be fine if people stopped asking questions. So, hmm, uh, Jack's, hmm, I'm shaking my head at you

like this, hmm, hmm. And yeah, and so Jack's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You know what you really need? You just like, you need to give her an ultimatum because that's what Katie did to me. You know, she said, don't let me get, don't get caught on camera cheating anymore. And so I haven't been caught on camera cheating anymore. Yeah, times like, dude, I want an ultimatum, but we're also sitting up for a house. And I just don't know if I can get a new car.

Like, I don't think that's a car brand. No. So girls, night. Oh good. Fun. The status girls nights of all time, I have to say. I'm actually like most of the girls, but I'm like, I know. But I like it when they fight. I'm sorry.

I know this is a very backward view that we can all be happy when the women are fighting. But honestly, on this show, it's true. So they're at lock-in key and all the girls slide into the booth. This is right after the premiere and she is like, can we talk for a second about how awesome Lala was and I believe that she was in us. How amazing was she in us line lot. Yeah. How amazing was Cena's line? Because it was 100% Cena.

Yeah. So, oh, wow, wow, wow. Are we on that? I'm on that. Like, I really? Well, what the f*** are up? Well, I went, she was like running down the front row and then got hit by a cart and stabbed in the face.

I was like, ah! Cena's becoming so Cena. She sounds like she's getting water-borted as she talks. You know? She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah. She would actually like it. Oh, this is a fun sensation. Cena's becoming so seen as she sounds like she's getting water-borded as she talks, you know She would actually like it. Oh, this is a fun sensation. I feel like I'm upside down I feel like I'm drowning, but I'm still alive. It's not like such a weird thing Like has Rob ever done water-biting before Adam together to it Adam Adam Adam So Ariana's like um Lala was the best part of that movie, okay

the best part of that movie. Okay. Let's see that. And she was terrible. Let me add that too. If you know what I'm saying. And Kristen's like, oh, I'm a movie. Throw. There's a matter of bunch of like, sort of girls.

Who like gets fast. Is that like a sort of girl's fashions? Can that be like a kind of movie? That'd be a genre. Like it's literally a genre of movie, but thanks. Yeah, thanks James is very sad He's like I went in there hoping to see a very serious family drama about a row, but turns out Here's that Friday girls Not my parents. It's like when I went to see fence is and no one fenced

He has a very, very misguided idea of what's playing movie theaters. Like waiting for someone to be served in omelet during breakfast at Tiffany's. I went to see Green Book and didn't know how to plant a single thing. Okay, so Shina, yeah, okay, I'm still it she's not because I love she not So stassy tells everybody boze mom is coming so they're gonna have like a party for it and Then she's like yeah, you know like his mom is really big into talking about relationships and Christmas I just want you to be honest about your relationship just be honest about Carter and Chris is like oh Honest I don't know I just want you to be honest about your relationship. Just be honest about Carter and Chris is like, oh, I'm honest.

I don't talk bullshit. I've totally, oh my God. Chris, no, she's like, they've flunged it off. She's like flung the nachos off the table with her all her spastic arms. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Like all the chicken wings are like on the ceiling now. Yeah, Chris still looks like an air popper.

She's like, whoa, I'm on it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chris, and Chris says the thing that you always want to hear about your loved ones. Day to day life is so much better and more positive than it has been. Like, well, that's, so we've seen day to day improvements. Okay, that's just like a little,

I don't know. Yeah, when you're speaking in AA terms, that's not good. You know, I was just thinking one day at a time. Oh, you know, he gave me a chip this morning. So that's good. One day at a time, one day at a just thinking one day at a time. Oh, you know, he gave me a chip this morning. So it's good. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. No, no, no, no. I don't get that. I'm very young. Still youthful. So, uh, I'm a Franklin Stan, okay. So, Kristen, uh, so they're all like, well, stop lying about it then. Like, you're it's TastyTelser. And probably you tell me a terribly, it's an in public, you say how great he is.

Yeah, because going on national television and shit talking to your boyfriend, this is considered being a bad girlfriend, okay? I know that your show hasn't learned that yet, but come on guys. So as evidence that Carter is a good boyfriend, Kristen's like, yeah, he's going grocery shopping tomorrow. Mike, oh my God, slow clap.

What a boy can't. Katie goes, he's gonna wrap. He's taking your, is he taking your money? And Kristen's like, that was uncool. Yes. He tells us a while ago, Carter went out vacation and he took Kristen's entire wallet. Like she didn't have anything. She didn't even have her driver's license.

I was like, aren't you gonna be hungry? And it's like, what are you talking about? Your wallet. This is mine. It's like a turkey sandwich. I can never find my credit card in here, but it is delicious. I've heard of users, but taking someone's entire wallet. I mean, I mean, and you know, this is just sat there all weekend. Like, I mean, and you know, because you just sat there all weekend like Oh, man, so she's mad at Katie now for saying that. So do you have to say like that like your sub-arring Katie? Your sub-arring Kagan. Yeah, you know what else was boring?

Hearing about you paying for every time for your boyfriend, okay? I like I'm a boring wake up. I love you So Once you give me your name. Okay. I think that Tom number two my dream in life right now. This is a very sad petty dream And I'm so sorry, but gotta hope Tom number two is cheating on Katie because what an Incephable ass that woman is okay, Tom number two cheat, Okay, consider this your whole past do it do it for your country I don't know, but I'm also the mindset that I would not be mad if we got rid of Carter because he brings nothing to the show And he's annoying and he's tying up Kristen and I want like and not in like a sexy Lala way

He's like really like we need like Kristen like out in the world roaming trying to find men and being crazy and going after people like she's been too quiet you know this season it's been a nice return to form for her being like a little bit like wonky or you know but I'm like let's don't want Carter let's get rid of him go yeah yeah Carter's kind of boring but I don't know I don't need my girlfriends to have interesting boyfriends you know I just need them to be interesting yeah so basically yeah so Katie's how it in Christian be like you don't have sex it's't need my girlfriends to have interesting boyfriends. You know, I just need them to be interesting. Yeah. So basically, yeah, so Katie's having and then Chris and me, like, you don't have sex.

It's even different bads. And now things are being for one month and everything's like, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, don't make generalizations, we're in the end. And then, and then, and then Chris and tells us the most romantic thing ever, okay?

This is like Chris's version of the notebook. She's saying, if I get married, it's gonna be the Carter, because I'm getting, if I get married, it's going to be to Carter because I'm getting older and I don't want to die alone. All right. Yeah, I know. I'll be there wetting that. I don't want to die alone. And you're there. So let's do this. As like Carter, the face of settling. Yeah, the settlers of Christam. The settlers of Cartam. I would play that game.

I would tell you about that. Do you have three stossies I can trade you for two shinos? I'll give you three Britonies if you give me my wallet back. I have the longest binge. So, Christam's like like who's not your boyfriend and Katie's like thank God. He's not my boyfriend And Chris and goes I'm getting a beer Like goes after the bar. Yeah So then we go back to a doc

Here we go to the Malibu pier which is like the only place that will give this cast free meals apparently, because now everyone's like fine, just driving to Malibu all the time. We still have to go to Neptune's Net, by the way, and I would like to do that, because I like a fried seafood moment. Well, when we come out with those Star Trek machines, where they zap you from one place and can put you in another place, I'll see you there. Fine. I have to get into the card of Malibu, okay? Fine. I'll see you there. Fine.

In the card of Malibu. Fine. I'll go with someone else then. I'll go with someone else. FaceTime me from there. Yeah. FaceTime me from there. Okay. I'll FaceTime you from that. Well, one time we went out there, not to Neptune's net. To Malbacy food.

Yeah, that was great. That was fun. It was fun. Okay, guys. That's not the point of this recap. The point is, Bozemom is basically me in 20 years. I think. I think it's funny because in this scene, I was like, oh, Bozemom is giving me like older Stevie Nicks.

But then later on when there was the other big scene with her, I was like, she looks like Brianna when Brianna is like mom age, like older mom age. Yeah, it was my big. I think she looks like Brianna when Brianna's like mom age, like older mom age. Yeah, my big, um, my day, I think she looks like me. I really do. I think that that's going to be me. I'm going to get a holly hobby hat. I did like her hat.

It reminded me of Shannon Bedouard's hat during the volleyball fight. Yeah, it was the same style hat. Okay. So basically this scene is, he's like, I'm amazed by your son. Like the lack of emotional abuse, it's uncomfortable at first. I'm hard to get used to that.

Yeah. Right now, your though, like our friends kept on talking, telling us that like we should be together. And so, bowler to my Instagram, and was like, no. And the mom's like, well, that's great. That means he doesn't really care about your looks. He's just into your personality. Oh God, my son is into your personality.

He's got help me. So, yeah. So the post like, I got to go to the bathroom. Do not talk about me. I'm gonna record everything you guys say so I can listen to it later. Do not talk about me. I'm gonna record everything you guys say so I can listen to it later Do not talk about me and she's like what like that time when you were a little born you had pee all over the front of your pants And I had to teach you how to shake it. I was like I just watched abducted in plain sight, okay?

You're creeping me out. Okay, this is officially creepy now and Also could you give jacks that advice Because he spent that entire golf scene with pee on his penis. I don't know if anybody noticed. There you go. Okay. So then later on, so that so so so so Stasian and the mom, they have like a great so race people, Stasian, Stasians. So they have like a nice conversation and Bo actually records it. And he's like, I'm gonna listen to what they said right now, and he like turns it on and he's like Wait a second. Why is it just Stossie singing lay miss?

I dreamed a dream a f Mom just throwing fries in her head while she sings lame is master of the sir. Must a rough this are Soutra Matt tack So it was actually really it was nice. There are I like them together. I think they're a few couple I don't know. I just don't understand. How do you fuck somebody so nice like how does your boner even work? I guess Dotsie doesn't have to work a boner. You see girls are so lucky. Yeah, yeah Lucky girls are lucky. Oh, no, it's a great ruin or a god girls really get it so easy in this life Don't they really do such privilege. Yeah, I mean like god toxic femininity and I write everyone so

Now we're back to sir and So now we're back to sir. And bring me say, oh my god, oh my god. Katie, I'm like waiting on three different birthday parties. And I told Jack, I was like, oh my god, three different birthday parties. I was like, that's like a party for every single ice cream plus one. You know what I'm saying? And Katie's like, Katie hates her, okay? Katie, the look that Katie is giving her at that squirrel stand is really painful to

look at. It makes me feel bad for Brittany because Brittany doesn't get it. But she senses something's weird so she starts overcompensating it even more with her fake accent and stuff. She's like, I'm gonna get my teeth polled. It's gonna be crazy.

Could that go take her, mate? I would love to. Weird thing. And Katie's just looking at her like, my God, I own 5% of a restaurant She's like congratulations on having a very standard surgery I would have loved it if like after Britney's surgery. She's like I'm getting my surgery and then after which is like hi I'm Brittany. This is how I speak now. My wife. Yeah

It's like welcome to my home. I speak with Diane Sawyer now Jay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now, man, isn't it? Yeah. It's like welcome to my home. I'm going to bring the dance lawyer now. Jay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. Well, this is my first orders of my babes. I hate to take care of him, but like, he could. But man, they wear a guy. They'd better take care of me, and sing this and and how you. She's like, now it's 10 per year,

and so I can't have anything else to eat, but I wonder if I can still have water. I think I still have water, and he's like, oh, yeah, but yeah, I'm so I can't I can't have anything else to eat But I'm wondering if I can still have water. I think I still have water and he's like, oh, yeah You can totally have water. I think it's just they don't you know they don't want you to just like I know I'm like, hey, none of you guys know because the whole reason why you don't eat anything for the anesthesia I believe is because when you're out Anything in your stomach can gurgle up and you can choke and die on it. So no water ma'am and don't listen. And don't listen to Katie. Don't listen to Dr. Katie.

On their vomit, it's going to be this cast. That's for sure. I like a mad at Katie for giving bad medical advice when I just gave medical advice. That's like found it in something I think I heard once. But it's Katie. Katie could be reading the declaration of independence and I'd still be like, fuck you. In the back row.

So Tom Schwartz comes in and he like yo my accountant. I mean do Jay Mickey. What's going on? Vanderpump's like hello paperwork paperwork job each of the business and We haven't done our paperwork yet Lisa. Sorry I can't open this restaurant if they're not 100% committed. The name Jojo doesn't work quite as well. The name Jack's James is looking really good right now. Get it! It's so sad that that's like her automatic go-to in her head for her backup to own a restaurant.

I know, I know. I'm sad that she's having a falling out with Teddy, unbefully hills, because I would not have minded a bar called Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear! We serve you food that looks delicious, and you love it, but then it turns away from you and you can't eat it. Don't worry about ordering anything because I've already chosen it for you, I guess. Minimulator! Teddy bear! The restaurant where we set fork, fork, late, spoon, and the knife is in your back!

Woooow! So now it's not as like the next day and Britney is coming home from her oral surgery and the producers are so kind to give us actual footage from the surgery where you just see like you basically see like the visual like the visual personification of the sound. Jai, jai, jai, jai, x, you just see the oral search would be like, Jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, x, just like, in there with the pliers, like, Jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, pulling out the teeth.

Jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, jai, Oh, why are they taking anything with the word wisdom away from Britney? She could use all the wisdom she can, I'm kidding. Okay, I don't care if it's only I think it's a punishment whatever they're like we gave you this wisdom and you end up with jacks you lose the right to these teeth. Oh gosh I'm trying to think on this video it's only my face and this other thing poor things here I'm

gonna switch it to Ben's face. Okay the the point is that, uh, yeah, she's, uh, Jack's is like, God, you know, I've had a lot of girlfriends and, I mean, I never took care of him, but, uh, with Brittany, I get off on taking care of her. You know what I mean? It was so creepy. It's like a lifetime husband. Yeah, he said, he goes, I almost get off taking care of her. Turns out other women's pussy is more fun. So see ya. Yeah, you're all going out. You're good. Okay, bye. So Ariana and Katie and everyone come up. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh God. So then Ariana is like, hi, gonna go say how to break me. And the first thing Jack says is like, hey, I just wanted to say, you know, I'm real sorry about bringing up babies and stuff of Tommy. Tommy doesn't want me to bring it up. It's just that, you know, if you don't have babies, like what's your womb there for? You know, it's like owning property. I mean, you're a woman. Your whole point is to drop out little sperm koalas, you know, some man puts in you.

And you've got a man willing to sperm you up, lady. Come on. Aaron is like pull your head out of my vagina and worry about something else for once. Check it out. So then Aaron is like, so then yeah, they're talking about this, the future and everything and Aaron goes, listen, I'm buying that fucking house.

And if he wants, if Tom wants to leave, you can buy me out and I'll stay there. I was like, I don't know if that's how that works. But actually, like, I can imagine Ariana just like pulling it fast on the top. Like, okay, you pay me and then you don't have a house. Great. Dude, yeah, sounds great. Wait a second and then he's like, Fred Flintstone down on the front door.

Yeah. Ariana. Yeah, that is some odd math that they had there. But it's standard front rules, you know. What do you expect? Yeah, that is some odd math that they had there. Let us stand in front of rules, you know. What do you expect? Yeah, exactly. So then we go over to Kristen and Carter's apartment

and Kristen's like arranging things in front of her trading spaces inspired pegboard that she has over her tail. Oh my God. My papa had that in the garage for all his tools. Yes, but Noah's car was ever fixed right? Okay? Well, she definitely had the pegboard up and going like clearly she saw it on Pinterest and she made it a reality queer pigs And Carter's wearing a t-shirt that says relationships are hard

That's funny. I didn't notice that you was wearing that. Yeah. So let me see here. Okay. So here's the crux of Kristen's problem. She talks shit about everybody all the time. So her friends don't know who side she's on, because when she's with Carter, she's talking shit about her friends, and when she's with her friends, she's talking shit about Carter.

Now, as an avid shit talker, I understand this conundrum. I still haven't figured out how to solve it So I don't really have advice for her, but I can see that that's her problem. Yeah, yeah So she's telling Carter's like, oh, well, you need anything. He's like the mini christen. He's like, oh Do we need anything? I mean we've got eyes and we've got booze and she's like, I hate when you say booze It's like, I hate when you say booze. Oh, it's like such rashi. Booze. Yeah, I was wondering if I was like, one of I heard that right.

Did he say, I was like, he said booze, right? I think it's a fairly standard colloquialism for alcohol. Well, what does you want to want? What, what, what she want him to say spirits? He has spirits and she's just trying to make it on camera, like she's standing up to Carter and being a badass. So she's going to find a way to handle it. Yeah. Yeah.

So everyone comes over. Like, everyone comes over. And so Issa, her name is Issa or Issa. That's Bo's mom. So she gathers everyone around and she's like, okay, I'm going to give know, I'm gonna give you guys some advice, okay? Here's the situation. We all have reptilian brains. And when the reptilian brain goes off,

your other brain shuts off, and then it doesn't engage, and reptilian brain is like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And next thing you know, you've got Chris and Eningapilla, which is what she's doing right now. You don't know me!

You don't know me! you don't know me. Yeah, and they just realized that they've all got reptilian brains all the time Which is why they're on a reality television show You know it's like yeah, yeah, that's me this morning and it's actually me right now Yeah, so not really sure what to say about that. Yeah Chris and goes he says right. I have something inside me that makes me lash out. I never thought it was my reptilian brain. But I just thought it was my regular brain, but I guess I sort of him mostly crocodile. So make sense.

So, um, he says like, okay, kids, thanks for listening. Now your payment is intimacy, which is what we all yearn for. And I'm like, you know what, Ben's mom, if we ever have a talk and you give me advice, please don't request intimacy after us. Okay. This makes me not want to talk to anybody's mom ever again, you know?

Yeah. So I wouldn't want to request. You know, it's so funny. Like that's how law log gets paid, okay? Like if that's the economy now, we're all fucked. Okay. Oh God. Sorry, I was looking up the reptilian brain,

which I should have done beforehand, because I was like, is this a real thing, the reptilian brain, but it is. It's like, yeah. It's like, I thought she was making a reference, like a metaphorical reference, like, we become reptiles. We go back to our reptile self, but it really is. Yeah, there's different kinds of brain like I have a Flintstoneian kind of brain. For example, all on it was my mingdello has gone off. So

over that one, so we got a male thing. So then Tom and Ariana have this discussion in the kitchen after the talk. And she's like, mm, I think my reptilian brain was trying to tell me to murder you after I found out that you talked to Jacks about babies, up the fucking, again, Tom and Tom's like, well, but you know, like seeing that, like I was gonna leave you if you didn't get me babies,

it's probably the wrong way to say that Is there another is there another way to say it because I haven't come up with a nice way to say that Yeah, so basically he's like dude like I want to have kids, you know at some point But like not to like five years from now. She's like I thought it was like 10. He's like So there will be kids you're saying there's a chance, hashtag dumb and dumb or so he's like, dude, I'm never kidding no matter what, I'll do it, I'll do it all or maybe you'll do it, but we'll see what happens and you'll either decide you're in or you're out, whatever, do, do, do, do.

You know, yeah, and this is what we said when we, oh, sorry, they were first having my mic is on like the jankiest thing. What we said when they were first talking about babies. Do it like gay people. You know, my gay friend has a baby with my lesbian friend and they just act like they're divorced. I mean, they still talk, but they just switch that baby off.

You know, and I know that that's not for everybody. But we are in West Hollywood. It's fairly normal here. I thought you meant when you said do it like gay people, I thought you meant have one and then use it as a prop to get a glad award. Oh sorry I totally misunderstood that. Oh good our little baby glad. I've named you Trupperware. You've brought me my first glad award. So so now it's the Austrian Katie have like wandered into Kristen Carter's bedroom which is a place I would never go into.

Okay, like... It's like you want to talk about it. It's like you want to talk about it. Yeah, I mean like, you know, like don't go into like a Bears, you know like in Jurassic Park when you stumble upon a nest of eggs, talk about a reptilian brain, you're like, oh shit, this is not where I should be. That's like Carter and Kristen's bedroom. oh shit, this is not where I should be. That's like Cardinal Christopher's, prison's bedroom. Stay out, stay out.

Well, their relationship is like Jurassic Park because at first you're like, oh my God, this is so great. I love it. This relationship is going great. And then you're like, this is not as great. And then all these years later, you're like, fuck this.

Why do they keep doing this to us? I don't want to sit through this anymore, okay? I'm sick of it. Yeah. So, Stas and Katie are sitting on there underneath some print from like ARP.com. I know it because that's where I got my prints, okay? I speak because I have to share my truth. So, so they're just like in there, and so Carter comes and joins them. They're like, and joins him. They're like, I know Carter comes into his own fucking bedroom that they're sitting in on his bed. And he's like, so, Katie, you and Tom have been together. How many years? Uh-huh. And Stasi, you've had about five minutes in your relations. Just get five or sprinkle, we get it. All right. So what do you think that you can just come in the middle of my relationship?

It would be nice if you didn't come in the middle of my relationship. Okay. Yeah. I don't think that Carter has the worst point in the world. I would normally say stay out of the girls business, but they were the Katie was the one who called him last week like, yeah, girl band, it's a disaster. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so car, so car is just like, I just don't get what you guys are bad mouthing.

I'm like, well, because you start dating someone who's on a reality show, someone who is famously in like a crazy group of women, uh, who just like tear everyone's relationships apart. So that's probably the reason why. Just gonna. Yeah, where the short answer is it's your turn, Carter. Yeah, you've skated by for many years. Like you've skated by like other people have gotten it twice by now. And you've gone nothing.

Okay. Skated boy. So, um, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, be like well, sorry, I guess it's not a bad business But it's not because you're happy or do any of the things any normal fucking person would do She's like Starting fighting and then when he's like you guys the reason that we fight is because you guys are fucking rude to her And then they just both jump up and start witchered sister in him like a real house was to Beverly Hills They were doing that Slup big slup big and meanwhile like outside Christmas like talking to Issa and she's just like in full floppy like inflatable car skies She's like on the she's just like doing some interpretive dance out there her limbs are just like flying ever

So oh rip to the brain taking over don't know what to do Throw me over the edge. She said throw me over the edge Oh, reptilian brain taking over don't know what to do He says like that reminded me will you give me an oil change? And a hug I did require intimacy as payment and I have not received that yet Yes, the Christians like well, I guess that I shouldn't like come home and then like, I'm going on Carter about like, oh my friends, he's a guy, he doesn't get it, like, he's a guy. His mom's like holding onto her hand, is she like, juts herself off the balcony and her headbutts.

Come back. It was wrong with this girl. So Carter, meanwhile, is gonna be like, you guys are scary, you guys are scary. So Kristen walks in and, would be like you guys are scary you guys are scary so Kristen walks in and and So I was like um Carter says at the reason why you fight because of me and Katie and less time I checked It is our fault. Thank you. I have to say I'm like really so flattered by this. This is really I feel like I'm accepting award Thank you so much. I'd like to thank my mom. I'd like to thank my dad

I like to thank Phil from the amazing race who eliminated us about 10 years ago That would really inform my personality a lot. Thank you so much It's stupid Kristen. I love how Kristen deals with these people crazy people know how to deal with crazy people So she's just like um Can you please stop yelling in my home? That would be great. It's very mature to be yelling in my Look at my look how subtle my head bet is Small small small small motion

I'm calm calm of mine my reptilian brain is not engaged My neck is already feeling better. My neck, my back, my reptilian brain, and my crack. So then Katie and Stasi are still yelling at somebody had the goal to come up against them. And Stasi's like, we are not making anything up. We are just regurgitating when you said to us back to him Okay, it's like your baby bird feeding an argument. Okay, listen to your sauce. Katie goes I'm insulted right now I'm like well, you're always insulted girl so just calm down and for those of you guys who aren't watching on TV party

You've missed me flat my hand forward because I was so upset at Katie being a slice. You're always insulted girl girl because I was so upset at Katie being a slice. You're always insulted girl. Girl. And Kristen's like, um, really can't have yelling in my home, especially in my bedroom. Stopping, stopping, you are stopping. We're out of here this bullshit. And so they leave off furious.

And she's like, um, guys, I'd really like to not engage our reptilian brain and stop to like, um, guys, I'd really like to not engage our reptilian brain. And Stas is like, there'd be honest, Kristen. Yeah. Carter's like, you know, when she gets home, we get into arguments because y'all are very nasty. You're so nasty. Yeah. And then Kristen's, Kristen's argument here. And she's like, well, like them, like I've listened to Katie talk about Tom

cheat on her a million time. And I was like, you guys got this. And then I listened to St talk about Tom cheat on her a million time and I was like, you guys got this. And then I listen to Stasi talk about her abusive relationship with Patrick and I was like, you got this girl. So I would like them to do the same to me. I'm like, uh, Kristen saying you've got their back through terrible relationships, it's not being a good friend. What you should have said is your fucking boyfriend is cheated on you 90 million times and he smells like pond water and you shouldn't marry him He has no hope for anything or a job and you're out there friends fucking abusing you bitch get out of that house

You want me to come over there and help you pack your stuff? What kind of friend just says oh you're in these horrible abusive, you know degrading relationships Just stay with it. I'll support you. That's not being a good friend. Also, I mean, I don't remember the details of it, but didn't, didn't Kristen try to basically undermine that entire trip to New Orleans? Wasn't there like a thing? She set off that whole crazy night was because something that she set off, right? Didn't she have a conversation with like Tom or someone

and like cause all sorts of things? She didn't know. She was the one starting that. Which is not having someone's back, by the way. Yeah, yeah. But it was in which is not having someone's back by the way But it was in defense of Katie. Yeah, I don't really remember what it was I mean, I almost forgot to Katie sitting here at Kristen sitting here saying all this stuff when she fucks tossies boyfriend Yeah, don't forget about that Essential details. That's what he wants to go decades ago darling. So Katie's like um Kristen never says anything good about you Carter

She never has anything good to say and Carter's like yeah Well, and how should he wear things before you got married and Kristen's like Katie's like go fuck yourself because I mean say what you About Carter. He did pretty much just get her right there. I mean like yeah Which is also sad that he's basically saying yeah things we should you think so she for us now Carter, he did pretty much just get her right there. I mean, like, yeah. Which is also sad that he's basically saying, yeah, things, we're shitty, things are shitty for us now, but like, you know, we're doing, we're really on course for shittiness. We're really like, we're really with you guys on our shitty level. So it's okay. Well, you reap what you say. You throw shit out into the world and you grow a Carter in your, in your garden. So what can I say?

So Katie storms off and Tom being such a great husband's like, Buh-buh! I'd go after her, but I'm really comfortable on this chair. Oh! Katie's gone, anyone want to make out? Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, don't worry. She's de-escalating. Yeah, she's de-escalating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, she's escalating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay cool And that brings us to the end of a band-up on Peru's So summer house the recap for summer house will be up on

Day, I don't know for I don't think we're doing Mexican Dynasties this week But I think we're going to work it into our schedule next week Maybe keep just just stay listening and you'll see what's gonna pop up. And tomorrow we are back with really hot, so I said, maybe he is so much drama. We are excited. Come see us in Cincinnati in about a week and a half.

It's gonna be an amazing time. It's our first time ever in Ohio. Go to watchrocrapins.com for tickets to that. And we'll chat with y'all tomorrow. Bye, everyone! Bye, everybody! Bye! You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.