Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Jaxervention

Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

Starting point is 00:00:18 or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches! Betches! You're the Wyndham beneath our wings, Joe Wyndham. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela! It's rules! Oops, she did it again, it's Britney Montana.

Starting point is 00:00:35 Aaron McNickolas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. HavaNigilaWeber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. He makes us squee, it's richy-dee. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day your out.

Starting point is 00:00:56 Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird Just saying okay? Christy Wowardy Dowerty Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Hannah God I love that banana Anderson and our super premium Patreon subscribers Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi She ain't no shrinking violet Kuchikuji! She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie.

Starting point is 00:01:27 Let's take off with Tamala Plane. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Yes, we should, with Carrie Bridgewood. Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible, edible Matthew sisters. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Stump, the Stump Master.

Starting point is 00:01:45 Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. No one can do it like Andrea do it. Yes we can, with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Somebody get us 10ccs of Betsy MD. Nancy C. Centicisto. We love you guys Hello and welcome to watch what crap. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Geo Bros.

Starting point is 00:02:31 It's me, Ronnie. Ronnie Karem, you can find me over on the Rose Praix Vacheler Rost, which is back in full swing and full as ever with love. And here is my co-host and little bestie mr. Ben Mandelker of the B side blog where he's just written Board game top board games of the year post to go read that and a real house where some kids in Ireland Which is this cartoon that he writes does everything for on YouTube so go subscribe and all that good stuff. How bein? Hi, and you know what I have to do something very shameless shameless, but this is important to the Mandelker household. My boyfriend, Dominique Kelly, is a choreographer, and he is actually a choreographer on tonight's

Starting point is 00:03:17 episode of Lurche Dancing on Fox. This is actually like a, it's a really big deal. Like it's, it's like fully on camera. This is a, this is like a really high profile gig. So I'm going to encourage the audience to tune in and then set your DVR, to watch a DOM on flirty dancing tonight on Fox. I think it's at eight o'clock.

Starting point is 00:03:36 So if you could do that and give it because I'm good ratings, that would actually really be like just very cool. I'm putting it on like, yeah, to TV Vee girl. Oh, yeah. Check out that flirty dancing. It's cute. Super cute. Okay, just said it to record. Yeah, boner time. So hot.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Boner dancing. So that's called their house. Yeah, boner dancing. I'm down for that too. Get a boner for Ben's boyfriend dancing only on rocks. Ronnie Ronnie Fox So we are gonna be traveling well first of all I'm traveling to Los Angeles to do the watch what crap and scrappy awards It's our eighth annual watch what crap and so it's at least that's what our press release says and I'm gonna go with that Sure prepare with numbers guys would we write down a stupid date.

Starting point is 00:04:26 Yeah. That's going to be an amazing show. Thank you to everybody who's coming. It's going to be our biggest one yet. We've got some very special guests. If they show up, if not, it's just going to be me and Ben. You're going to fucking deal with it. Okay?

Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah. Works either way. Yeah. And then we are going to go back on tour. Next week, we're going to be in Detroit and Columbus, Columbus, Ohio and Detroit Michigan. So get your tickets. That's on the 24th and 25th. Then the following week we're doing two shows in my town, Austin, Texas, and then with the very next day we're going to Houston, Texas. And then in February we're going to Birmingham or Hoover, Alabama, New Orleans, Lawrence, Kansas, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Madison, Oklahoma City, to be back out there, hooking you in all these different towns. Go to watch what crap ends to find links for tickets. And also, that's where you're going to find our bonus episodes and our crap ends on

Starting point is 00:05:30 demand videos, which we do once at least a week. This week we're doing Vanderpump Rules, which is right now. I guess what that means. You can see us. Yeah. If you tune, if you watch this on crap is on demand you can see my CP2 took back hanging on the door of this room. Yeah, that's a very sexy bag. You can also see you know what I'm gonna go crazy and I'm gonna unblur my background. Wow. I'm gonna blow my background. Say you love me forever. Okay, there you go. It's unburied

Starting point is 00:06:08 You can see all my beautiful crap and artwork behind me on the wall, which one day What background is well hang on much cleaner than mine yours is like a lovely couch with artwork mine is like a rumble to it bag and Stacks of board games Well either the sailor hat the point is we're both hot. So that's the reason. Oh, yeah, yeah, naturally. We got to mention that part.

Starting point is 00:06:31 So today's episode. We could be waiters. So today's episode. Yeah, we're sorry. You have to work. You have to be hot to be on this podcast. Oh, oh, Meriposa. So today's episode of Vanderpump Rules.

Starting point is 00:06:44 Oh, wowiposa. So today's episode of Vanderprop Rules. Oh, wow. Wow. Jack's actually comes on and makes some kind of sense. Also, whatever Jack's is sanding down his face with, I want that human face sander. It looks like he's a piece of wood that has been polished down and that's a compliment.

Starting point is 00:07:01 It looks like a porcelain doll. It's just like shiny and round with like little perfect blush and the rosy cheeks. I was like, he is like buffed and polished right now. And he was making more sense than he ever has in his entire life, like how is Jack's? Like not just the voice of reason. He is like the megaphone of reason on this episode.

Starting point is 00:07:22 It was really, I didn't know what to do with myself. Of course, who's being the voice of reason with Kristen, who is completely Kuku. So I mean, I don't know, but you know what, take, take it when you can get it. Take the small blessings we, I know. Maybe he has grown. Maybe there is a, maybe there is a jacks 2.0. There is no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, I think there's a there's like a gun that you do that you that you rub on your face after you got what it's called But I think they sell it at like Sephora or whatever well listen. I'm in Texas right now I don't want to go into a store and ask for a gun. Okay, so then just go find like an armadillo and be like The armadillo scrub

Starting point is 00:08:20 So Texas and St. Louis where do you want to start today Ben? I want to start with Trixi Monacoel. The show, literally, the opening credits are done, and Trixi Monacoel is ready with a cat in the lower. She goes, let's go! And it's like a classic throwback sort of Trixi Monacoel song, where there's no lyrics, just calls to action. Like, let's go Okay, I'm just gonna sing fun music for fun people and have a fun time and that's it Paul.

Starting point is 00:09:08 Hit record. She's like, this song is gonna be called Come on and pause like, Trixie, we've already done Come on. She's like, damn it! What am I gonna do? She's like throwing things all around the studio and then she comes back like five hours later with White Powder all over her nose and a needle sticking out of her arm and she's like I've got it. I've got it. We're gonna call it. Let's go Let's go. Paul. I'm just giving the people what they want. Okay, for years I've tried to do my own thing

Starting point is 00:09:37 I've tried to be an artist, but you know what? The people want one thing from Trixie Monaco and one thing only I know what it is. It's called let's go Let's go. So Britney is getting her hair done. My hair make it, people. Shocking. I have an idea about my hair. What if my hair went over all the side? That would look real pretty too. I was like, what is what is Britney gonna be like when this wedding goes over? I mean, I guess what I guess children are next, but like this is what her life is. Shep in my hair down my ass had me pretty cool. I think I was telling Jackson be like really pretty good such and like I was like, I think I'm gonna be pretty good. Maybe it won't be that pretty. So the professional makeup artists and hair people are like, okay, let's take that advice. So she's gonna do for Jake for the wedding

Starting point is 00:10:26 I'm doing a boot war show Is it bad war or a War it's a blue draw you simple sin Slap the least available comes in slaps her how dare you use it you a PN word It's my people so yeah, she's doing a Boudoir photo shoot as a wedding gift. So, of course, that means that Stasi and Lala have to come over. So, once again, another thing that people are obligated to go to for this damn wedding, once again, I mean, just these two are just milking it for every amount, every grain of attention they can get. Yes, and she's going to do her boot drop photos are one of them in a bathtub.

Starting point is 00:11:10 I guess they're all on a bathtub. So she's in a bathtub and she does the squat. There are yellow things in the bathtub. Do you, are you seeing this? Oh, you don't have the screen. macaroni and cheese. I want you to get shot of my elbow. No, my elbow poster.

Starting point is 00:11:25 A turnstacks on every time. She was in there in the bubbles and I don't know if you noticed that she was holding a like a teeny tiny mason jar. We had like a little handle. She's just like holding it up like, look at me. I'm sexy, but I also have miniature glasses too. Okay, I'm sending you this picture so you could see what these yellow things are in the tub. They're very distracting.

Starting point is 00:11:47 Are they rubber duckies? I don't know what they are. Okay, so then she squats over in the tub, squats over. She squats down in the tub and guess what her tramp stamp is? Did we already know that this is her tramp stamp? It's like looking for a Lee. Yeah, it's like, you know, somewhere Gretchen Rossii, just like, how do Lady Boenner, she's like, a Flirtle Lee and a tramp stamp on one.

Starting point is 00:12:09 Wow. Who gets a Flirtle Lee as their tramp stamp? That's a really, that is like someone who really likes a Ross dress for less, like, shopping, you know, home shopping area. Yeah, who makes their tramp stamp like, home decor, you know? And also, if you look at it, it looks kind of like, she's getting an X home decor, you know, and also if you look at it It's it looks kind of like she's getting an x-ray, you know, and you're just seeing what's inside of her

Starting point is 00:12:31 Flirtly Right up her. Oh, I'm a wall son. She um, I can't tell what the yellow things are. Maybe they're pedals Oh, I bet you're right. I bet I'll bet their pedals. Yeah, maybe she's just like Spilled some peeps in there. She's like, wait, can I have my peeps? So let's see behind. What is that contraption that's behind the tub? The uh, there's like a black faucet. The faucet. Yeah. Hi, what's that thing that goes in the tub? It's a faucet. Oh, you don't just feel it up by the bucket. As we talk about what a moron bright be is for 20.

Starting point is 00:13:10 I know. I'm like, what's that thing? What's a native? Well, I wouldn't be, it wouldn't like shock me if they like stored their vacuum next to the bathtub. That's what I'm saying. It sort of looked like a vacuum because you was obscuring it with her pose. Well, here's some general. What is it that's certainly understress? Yes, and here's some general decorating advice. A bathroom is not the place for a stool made out of hair.

Starting point is 00:13:29 You know those stools that are like fuzzy stools? Yeah. I don't want to think about your nasty, I don't want to think about that on a stool. You know, your nasty pubic hair or whatever that is. It's like a big mop, it looks like she's going to sit on somebody's head. I actually think there's no real place for a stool with like a, like a, like a,

Starting point is 00:13:47 what do you call it? I would have to agree. I would have to agree. Like a shag, a shag stool, don't need a, like, long-haired shag, yeah. Long-haired shag. I don't need my stool to look like that. I, you know what, give me a stool that has like a crew cut. Okay, like that's her stool, I need it.

Starting point is 00:14:02 Actually, in general, I don't need any stools. I actually hate stools. Yeah. I like st don't need any stools. I actually hate stools. Yeah, I like stools. I like stools. I like stools. They're fine in theory. I like stools. You're sitting on.

Starting point is 00:14:12 Yeah, until you sit on them for a while and then you're like, my back hurts, I can't lean back. Why have a stool when you can have a chair? Hey, that's a good question. And why have a chair when you could have a bed? I mean, we could just go with this all day long. Why have a bed when you could have bedwins I mean, we could just go with this all day long. Why have a bed when you could have bed wins? I win because I said bed.

Starting point is 00:14:29 And if any argument, I'm just gonna say, bet, what about a bet? And then I'm gonna. What about a bet? What about a bet? Okay, the point is, Brittany looks like a napkin ring at Sir. Is my point. The point?

Starting point is 00:14:51 Yes. Flu on top of that, she's holding a teeny tiny mason jar with a handle. Yes. So I was advised to her is, I really invite when you look, look off to the side, Brit, what do you think she's doing? I'm like, nothing is more symbolic of this marriage than Brittany looking away. Yeah. Nothing's going to get Jack's harder than Brittany pretending she can't see him. Exactly. Well, maybe if she makes my ham sandwich once in a while, that could get him to be hard. So then, Stasi is like, if I did a Boudoir photo with Bo, I'd be style like Daenerys and be in a tub with ranch AF, which is funny that she's still holding on to Daenerys as like, let's like an icon for her because, you know,

Starting point is 00:15:29 Daenerys, I'm not gonna say what happened, but Daenerys. No spoiler. Actually, Daenerys came to Stasi. Not so much that Stasi came to Daenerys. It's not like Stasi watched Game of Thrones. It's like Daenerys watched Vanderpump rules. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. By the way, so then they like, they like move over to the bed and like Brittany has laid out all sorts of stuff. I love

Starting point is 00:15:53 how you like crack yourself up. I'm like, that's so funny. Like Daenerys is, Daenerys is rode to hell was because she started liking stossy advantage. She's like, John Snow, just raised her glass up high. These are all the best times of our lives. So yeah, so this one, John Snow. So they go over to the they go over to Brittany's bed, which I mentioned only because there's now a sign that's over their bed that says the cow cheese because Jackson's real last name is couchie. So it's like the cow cheese established June 20th, 2019.

Starting point is 00:16:31 I was like, oh, come on, oh. I hate those established signs. Stupid. Oh, I hate them. And I hate them when they're like established in 2016 and you're like, that's like nothing. I'm going to Wendy's like, I hate that. You at least have to have like 45 years before you can start to start to talk about when you were

Starting point is 00:16:50 established. Yeah, totally. Maybe 20, maybe 20. Yeah. So like, don't give me a, I hate like a two years to like, like, go to a menu that has all that fun, like that font that's like, um, this is, this, this restaurant was started by farmers in Brooklyn, you know, and then it's like established in 2018. It's like, you know, it's top trying to give yourself a legacy here. Okay. You've been here a year. Yeah. Sir, just keep tending to your, to your suspenders and your little page boy hat. Yeah. And your have a bar mustache. Wow. Really on a tear today. So far it's been 15 minutes of Florida Lee tattoos and angered established sides. So that's where we're

Starting point is 00:17:36 coming from today. So Lala is law law as Brittany would say it is telling everybody about that. She's catching Stasi up on the housewarming. And she's like, Kristen was like ready to square off with me after Carter got pulled aside. Well, you might grow business first of all. So then Brittany's like, but it's almost my win. What are we gonna do?

Starting point is 00:17:59 It's gonna be my win. We have all these parties. What are we gonna have colder there? Yeah. Like, like, pretty, don't even try to make this about your wedding right now. Like see, see, this is exactly who Brittany is. Like you're talking about something

Starting point is 00:18:11 not even remotely, remotely related. She's like, I mean, the wedding is a month away from tomorrow. I was just like trying to smooth things out. Well, there we were, you know, because my wedding is a month away from tomorrow. Did I mention that in the month my wedding is a month away from tomorrow?

Starting point is 00:18:22 Eight. Yeah. And I don't think anyone in this friend group is allowed to get Matt at Kristen for being with somebody manipulative when they're supporting Brittany marrying Jacks. That's true. That's true.

Starting point is 00:18:34 And so basically the question is, so Brittany's gonna be having some sort of bachelor at party down in Miami, I think. And I guess the men are invited, the men are going to because there's been a lot of talk that Carter is going to go down to the Bachelor of Party. I'm like, you realize there's a Bachelor of Party, right? But I guess it's like, it's like, it's like,

Starting point is 00:18:50 it's a joint. Joint, oh, that's, yes, a joint thing. So the thing is it's like, they don't want Carter to come because they don't want the drama to be there, plus Kristen saying they're broken up. And so it's like, well, you be invited or not. And Brittany, like, doesn't want them there, basically. And she's like, I mean, is this going to be a disaster? I mean, I've been dreaming for the day for so long, and now there's going, will you be invited or not? And Brittany, like, doesn't want them there basically. And she's like, I mean, is this gonna be a disaster?

Starting point is 00:19:06 I mean, I've been dreaming for the day for so long and now there's gonna be drama around it. It's like, oh my God, Brittany, please. Please, this season's gonna be really hard with Brittany. She's gonna be awful. Yeah, so far, she's not really bothering me. Isn't that weird? I think because I know that-

Starting point is 00:19:20 Well, since you know that- I think that I know because babies are next. Babies is when it's really good. Yeah, it's really is really good bad. Yeah, she's gonna be a little bad Yeah, her babies can be called Florida Lisa So so so yeah, so so Britney is worried that like her, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so so, so, so so, so, so, so but he tried to get off of alcohol. Yeah. So she is in the studio. Arda, that was just a commercial. Yeah. So she's saying that she's going to go.

Starting point is 00:20:09 And she's basically saying how like, she's like, you know, I've seen his like really great qualities, which is what was really important for me, to just like yell at him all last season, because he has so many great qualities. And I just think he said, you guys will never see his great qualities. And they're like, yeah, no, no thanks.

Starting point is 00:20:24 Why does Lala have on five different kinds of eyeliner? It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. She looks like a robot who's about to cry and then the robot is also wearing eyeliner over the metal, if that makes any sense. She's got like metallic, metallic eyeliner that goes to her boogers, her eye boogers, and then she's got black eyeliner over that and some other kind of eyeliner over that. It's a new look, it's just like what artists do, you know? It's just like rich people, like people who are like, I'm rich now.

Starting point is 00:20:56 Yeah, Lala is walking around this episode as if she is like a mentor on the voice. I mean, she is like, I mean, I think that she is like, just swinging around in chairs in her head all day long because she is acting like she's the authority on everything right now all of a sudden. Yep. She's married to a rich guy or she's marrying a rich guy.

Starting point is 00:21:14 So, you know, earned it. And hey, look, I say earned it, earned it. Earned it at that point. So, whatever her name is. Yeah, what's his name? Randall. Randall. Yeah, almost like my name, Rondall.

Starting point is 00:21:29 You see? It's very close, which is why I can also, you know, I like to eat myself. And also I'm probably older than Rand. I will just Randall, do you think? I'm basically the poor man's Randall. That's six, seven. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:21:42 Totally, totally my age. So Stasi, Stasi's like, I am not on board with that. And I will not tell you I told you so, but I will think about it in my head. Yeah. So then we go over to Villa Rosa, where we see Hanky and Panky swimming around. We think we're going to come back so they could pick at her. And then we also see the little miniature horses Yeah, I'm part of it for me to fat shame a horse, but Jesus Christ with you walk those things around the backyard a little bit my god

Starting point is 00:22:13 I didn't even notice that I didn't even know that that they were getting a little shubby Chubby horses I noticed it I think because everybody's been telling me that beavers getting fat and I'm like so sensitive I'm like who calls someone's pet fat, and I'm like so sensitive. I'm like, who calls someone's fat fat? Then I was like, why don't you be so sensitive? It's okay to call a fat fat. So now every time I see a fat, I'm like that fat, fat. You're just, fat fat.

Starting point is 00:22:33 You're either doing that or you're just trying to deflect a way to make yourself not feel as bad that Bueller has gotten fat. So you're gonna be like, well, you're like, they're fat too. So you like, it normalizes it for you. You know, yes, you know what else normalizes it? Beal are being fat. Okay, I don't care.

Starting point is 00:22:49 Who cares? Stop fat, shame me, Kadoa. It's a fat dog. That's all right. He's like fat. Oh, where is he? He's over in here. He left. He heard what we were talking about.

Starting point is 00:22:57 He just looks fat. There's a lot of light coming through the window. But he just looks fat because since he's a Chihuahua people mix, he's got like a small Chihuahua head but a people body. So we'll always naturally look fat. His head is big, but chest that drags across the floor and stuff.

Starting point is 00:23:13 Also, now what he's in here. So now what he's in here. Now that's your fat, he's your fat too. Your fat too. And guess what? It's okay, I'm fat. Who cares? It means that we have, it's like when Delta Burke

Starting point is 00:23:24 did that episode of Designing Women, all the young people were just like, oh my god, why am I listening to this? But Delta Burke, when she was on Designing Women, she gained a bunch of weight. And she was playing this model or beauty pageant queen or whatever. And they had this episode called, they shoot fat people, don't they? And she went in front of me for it because it was her like coming to terms with gaining all this weight. And gave a speech and she was like here I am at an at an event for starving children and here I am crying about having too much when some of you have so little and That's how I think of it. I'm fat. I'm rich. Okay. I could afford those little Debbie Bratties that I just bought I have five dollars How you're really gonna you're really gonna probably like connect with Dana's comedy later this episode.

Starting point is 00:24:07 So, so uh, so, so speaking of getting into shape, uh, Lisa is in the backyard. She's taunting her, her fat horses by exercising. Her tiny fat horses by my exercising. Fat horses. Her tiny fat horses are stuck there. You're going to get on a little horse treadmill, but they're stuck in the pan, and she's getting them all fat while she trims up. So she has so bred the new server at Sir, who kissed Gina, and now all like actually so defensive about it

Starting point is 00:24:42 that it's making me wonder if, well, we'll get to it. But he is there to train Lisa. And I kind of felt bad because last week I said that he'd look like a weathered but hot tropical fish. And I feel bad because I don't like to make fun of way people look, you know, like he can't help, but if he looks like Dory, but like a hot sexy version of Dory, you know? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't think fish is fish or an offensive thing to look like. I mean Dory is very cute

Starting point is 00:25:12 I want to generally is worth 97 zillion dollars and she's very confident. Dory has his every day Yeah, and I think that could have a blockbuster. He'd do someday if he gets lost to have a blockbuster movie to someday, if he gets lost. But I just, I feel bad that I called him a hot, tropical fish that's like a sort of weathered, but that being said, I really feel like he does look like a fish. I'm like, he is like a fish.

Starting point is 00:25:44 He is a fish. He is a fish. He is our fish man. He is our resident fish man. Well, he is working, he's the new trainer now, because he needs things to do to get his intro. So Vanderpump's like, sir, is a revolving tool of beautiful people. It's like, really?

Starting point is 00:25:58 Do they ever come out? Like, what happens? Because I'm saying, I said it last week and I'm gonna say it again, not hot enough, okay? Yeah, that's my general casting note, not hot enough. Okay, also let's, can we talk about Lisa's interview? Look, she's wearing, you know, like a hot pack, hot pink satin blouse, which is very standard, but then it's like she's wearing an exposed dickie or it's like a big black exposed dickie, you You know, it's like, she had almost like a napkin.

Starting point is 00:26:26 It's like, it's not a crevade, it's not a tie. She just like has this triangle of black fabric right in front of her black stater. I'm like, did we interrupt you while you were having a meal, Lisa? You're just trying to wear a business suit. Like, why is there this like change? I need one of those. Now that's a business, just wearable, wearable neck napkins.

Starting point is 00:26:46 The call of napkins. So she's like, well, how is work? How is she? No. And he's like, oh, she's nice. Oh, really? Nice. Is it about you matching pocket,

Starting point is 00:26:57 downstairs? Nice or about you are paying with him? Spot nice. What's going to be? He's like, you know, she and I made out once in her kitchen. And you'd think I got down on the and gave her a six carat ring. I'm like, well, it's Gina. At this point, if you don't know about Gina, that's going to be on you, sir. Yeah, you've seen this show. Also, you were thirsty enough to get with Gina, you know, before the show. And now you're going to try and distance yourself during the

Starting point is 00:27:25 show. That's not how that works. Yeah, you actually went to Marina Del Rey to go to her apartment to play Scategorius. That's on you, sir. There is no more mixed as signal than you can give somebody than driving to Marina Del Rey. If you drive to Marina Del Rey and kiss someone, you are telling them that you want to view them, that's real life. Yeah, exactly. Because that is a commitment.

Starting point is 00:27:49 Okay, that is a commitment. That is like, Dr. Contest Scott moving to Atlanta and being like, I want to marry you, Dr. Contest, and we should no longer move. This is it. That is basically what he did by going to Marina Del Rey. Yeah, I would agree to marry somebody before I agreed to drive all the way to Marina Del Rey. Okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:07 And also, can you blame Sheena for getting excited that someone actually came to her house? And it wasn't even enchilada night. I know, it wasn't at D. Yeah. So, how's our account, Sheena? I'm having a Sheena Sheena. And he's like, we're just friends. You know what?

Starting point is 00:28:23 I have to like hold a dictionary up to her face to show her what friends mean. Like really, you're using the look at up and the dictionary thing, cast this. I know, seriously, I guess he forgot, I guess he forgot what Sheena was all about, but can't blame Dory, little short-term memory joke, tropical fish call back anyway.

Starting point is 00:28:43 He's dropping the dictionary. If look it's up in the dictionary, I see your face right next to it. So then you have Brett's basically like, I'm not going to shag Sheena and then the worst is like, oh, even the whole season has something to say about that. No, they want to exercise. They they want to they want to do pushups. And then poor Peter and his Adam's family got rained on here. Oh, God bless his blesses terrible little black heart. So he's standing there at the bar with the new girl Charlie, who of course has to spell it with no e. You know, you just have to do that because you're on Vanderpump rules. with no e. You just have to do that because they're on Vanderpump rules. Like where did the ego, Charlie?

Starting point is 00:29:26 Like where did it, like Charlie? I don't even know. Charlie. Why do you not have the e in your nickname? Why was it too hard? Was it too, Charlie? I don't, I just, it bothers me on a very deep level. So Peter, who's on top of everything as a manager, is like,

Starting point is 00:29:48 uh, are you new? Yeah. So far, I actually am very pro, Charlie, because she seems to look at everyone, like, who the fuck are these people around me? Like, she just, she's like, I don't know, my agent told me I should audition for the show. And now I'm here. And I don't know what's happening. Yeah. She's like, I finally passed know, my agent told me I showed addition for the show, and now I'm here, and I don't know what's happening. Yeah, she's like, I finally passed an audition, and I'm waiting tables. Can somebody explain this to me, please?

Starting point is 00:30:11 Yeah, so Peter is standing there with Charlie, and then she no walks up to them, and she no does the classic. She no, hello, she's, hey, how are you? How are you? Oh, she knew you're going to be training the new girl. What's your name again? Have we made out in the bathroom before? She's like, no.

Starting point is 00:30:32 I mean, they're just things she's made out with everybody in the bathroom. Yeah. So yeah, so she is going to be training Brett and Dana and Charlie at Sir. And she was like, no, before yesterday, I knew Dana. I was at the girl that I walked by to get into my friend's bar. But now she was like, no, before yesterday on your Dana was as a girl that would walk by to get into my friends bar, but now she's like, but now she's the girl who's not only fucking her boss, but my leftovers too.

Starting point is 00:30:51 How are you? How? Yeah, Shina is trying to be kind of stossy and it's just not working. It's not working, Shina, but it's adorable watching her try and speaking of adorable, she sees Charlene she has, you're adorable. So Dana's like, okay, so where the pen set here? She has, I bring my arm.

Starting point is 00:31:16 And you know that the process to every morning she wakes up, she's like, good, as good, okay, what's your pen am I gonna do today? A racer main or one with the troll thing on the top of it? Hmm, I think she's one of those girls who has those pens we had in grade school where there's different colors on the pen and you push the little button down. You push the one side. She does. Where there's like, it's like, because I I love those, but like, you know, because there's like the ones that have like three colors, but then there's one that has like 10 and she's like I have this one with 10 and it's like the size of a missile because it has all the things in it

Starting point is 00:31:51 I'm standing grain my hot trace in blow and my cocktail sound of purple and mixed drinks down and or it's like There's probably also like a liquid component where if you like hold the pin one pin one way There's nothing but you turn the other way like a little image of sheena come sliding down like God you're giving sheena the biggest Conglomerate of pens Or that it's probably just like here's my vision Conglomerate I want a pen with 10 different colors and then me when your tilted certain way I appear can you do that for me?

Starting point is 00:32:24 I'm a normal one and then I'm not then if you turn the panel side down I'm a mom and okay so pens okay so Peter of course another very professional manager thing. Peter's like so Charlie you have a boyfriend. Maybe you'll find one today Yeah, maybe she will have like today, but you won't I can guarantee you that old man Peter can just back it up with your iron hair So then she knows YouTube tutorial on how to be a waitress is continuing on just okay when you polish glasses We have a cheap hot water and then you put the glass on top and see that instead of a dry nap. It's like so much better Yeah, like does she have to be polishing on the glasses? No, but I had to do it So I'm gonna make her I'm gonna make her polish them all Okay, so first use the teapot. You use the cheap. I put water in the teapot

Starting point is 00:33:13 Then you get it up and then you steam it and it's like it get really wet and then you put it on nap Then you're gonna dry as like yes, it's just like I Know how to do this. Yes, it's called cleaning glasses. Sorry about what happened to me to do this. Yes, it's called cleaning glasses. Sorry about what happened to me. So then she introduced, oh yeah, Dana's like, yeah, so she introduced her to Jack's, right? Hi, this is Charlie. She's no. I'm Dana's like, I find it interesting that out of the two people, Sheena was assigned to train the only one she's not training is the one who happens to be going on a date with her ex. Now I know that that's supposed to put you in a place of power, but it's just sad

Starting point is 00:33:54 and thirsty and also you made that with Peter in a bathroom. So, still I'm not sure about you either lady. Yeah, yeah, and I also think it's sad that you actually find that interesting that she is like being cold to you because you're sleeping with her ex. So, you know, anyway, so she goes up to Dana and she's like, I'm just going. And Dana's like, I just want to know as a comedian, I just need to know, did I do anything to upset you? She's like, no, no, no, no, no, I just like rolling upside the other night because like they were saying that was like boy crazy and I was like crazy. I'm not boy crazy. I just like to buy penguins for boys and go crazy over them. Okay. And it's like, if you call me a boy crazy, then like, like, don't look up at your stuff. You

Starting point is 00:34:34 know what I'm saying? Like, huh. And then you two were racking up and then we get the house wise. Oh, it's sound. And Dan is like, um, well, yeah, but it's like really new. And I don't want to rub anything in your face I hope you don't think that's my intention and she was like, no, no, no that didn't work. Maybe I'll do a Find My Penguin. That didn't work. Find my barcalaounder. Well everyone seems to have deleted their gifts for me from Apple. Okay. Where's that France? It's a boring.

Starting point is 00:35:16 And that's what he said that you're just friends. He said that how can I? You like what does it mean? Oh, good. There's like, you do, you do, you do, him. And when you're done, you can just like clean the shelves, they kettle, run. Wow, got her, got her. Hey, um, could you take these paper towels and polishes to look up in the smoking alley?

Starting point is 00:35:36 Thought it'd be great. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of WonderZnew Podcast, Disantel.

Starting point is 00:35:55 Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

Starting point is 00:36:28 How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then Dana's like, okay, oh, and by the way, is it cool like what I'm done Amazon music or wonder yeah. The rap and scum are so. So then Dana's like okay oh and by the way is it cool like when I'm done like um dusting these shells that the candles are on if like I can leave because Max is peaking me up for our date.

Starting point is 00:36:56 She's not sad. I know she and her tries to not look upset but her face is like And Dana tells us I've read this book and I've seen this movie So you're trying to make me feel bad make yourself feel better Do what you got to do to get through the day sheena look what movie is this that you're referring what book and movie is this? No one on betta purple sweet books not even imaginary ones or metaphorical ones. That big lifetime movie. It's like I'm gonna steal your baby and make you polish. Glass will. It's like Joe from Facts of Life running from a feather duster, so she doesn't have to do the selves. Uh, you know, it'sikiya, if you will.

Starting point is 00:37:45 So now we hear some cool beats, we hear like a... And then like, like, rapping, but like, really, like, super white-rapping. And then, of course, we see like, Lala in the studio with Shaunti, a music producer, and Lala was like, yeah, she's like listening in, like, mmm, like, it reminds, like, the way she was like nodding her head, like, that's, that's like the in like, hmm, like it reminds it like the way she was like nodding her head like that's that's like the thing that you have to do apparently in music studios is that you have to close your eyes like nod your head and be like yeah feeling the music yeah, you know, it reminds me of like an NBC drama from like 1995 where like someone has to like go into a music studio and like the writers

Starting point is 00:38:25 have never been into a music studio. They don't know the actress has never been in a music studio. Like I think this is how it happens in here, you know? Yeah, not your head. Yeah, not your head. Can we do that again? I need to close your eyes while you're nodding your head. That would be great.

Starting point is 00:38:39 We're going to get this shot. So yeah, her brother is here from Salt Lake, Sede, and he's wrapping, and he's like, party after party, depressure on decline. So are you looking bored on purpose while you're, is this just bored wrap? I mean, it's real, you know, it's like he was really making G.E.Z.

Starting point is 00:38:59 seem like, you know, wraps wonder kin this guy. I mean, you listen, listen, as we all know, Salt Lake City is a hotbed for hip-hop artists, especially the white ones. Yeah, rap. That's where it's at. So she's like, yeah, it's since my brother, he lives in Salt Lake. So he's like the chillest person ever. He makes music in my mom's basement. So I was like, you know what, if I can get him into the studio. Like, this is like like lame pie or what is happening here? Like it's fake, like like low-cal cookie,

Starting point is 00:39:40 cookie, whatever her face is named. I mean, it was just like it was so bad. And then she's like, and then after he's done, she's like, when you can bring tears to my eyes, that's when you know you've got a heavy hitter. Like, okay, you're not Jimmy Iovin, I only need whatever, like, okay. Sorry, Quincy Jones, like just relax, Lala, okay.

Starting point is 00:39:58 Yeah, relax, Cliff. So Lala's like James comes in, he's like, what's up, bros? What's up? What's up, bro? Yeah, bro? Yeah, yeah, bro. By the way his pupils are like Black dimes Just had to point that Also, I really need to know if his younger brother is still working at sir by the way

Starting point is 00:40:22 I need to know if he's still like Stumbling around in the back like so can I get you some more what I refills No, okay, what do you have for a cheesecake? No, oh How about man is to he is working. You know, he's still working there So Lala why do I keep going Lala he can bring tears to your eyes? That's a winner I just want to read that line 20 times. Why? My notes of my eyes just keep focusing right there. So James comes in and he tells us the thing I miss most about Lala is

Starting point is 00:40:54 creating music like there were times we couldn't move because we created such bangers. I know. I know about it. I love you, Lurker. Love you. Whatever that song feels. Love you. I'm feeling you. I'm feeling you. Well, that's a good song. I like that song. I'm feeling you. I like that song. You know, boy, I'm feeling you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Starting point is 00:41:18 She loves saying boy in a song. Party. Play back. Play back. Party after party. The pressure on the climb. And then the song ends and he's like, thanks for sharing that with me. That was the moment. That was the moment. That was it. Yeah, that was a moment. Let's use some more music. And I'm going to put my fingers up to my temple and just nod and be like, yeah, beats music. Amazing. So Lala's like, clear the the room I want to talk to Jameson

Starting point is 00:41:46 alone and then once I'm Sean too the music producer gets up she takes this chair she's like all right James is Jameson let's go over it what what is Lala pinky in the braining this entire what is she what does she do is she's like literally acting like she's LA read I mean it's out of she doing she's like literally acting like she's LA read I mean it's out of control what she's like she's okay excuse you let me give you some life advice okay um fuck a rich guy and then sit in a chair and look at people and you'll have power okay what was the question well Lord knows he's tried so Law Law is like well I've been asking to link up

Starting point is 00:42:27 and you haven't really given me much to work with. Okay, and he's like, well, I didn't know if it was real or not because last time, you know, last time I spoke, I just couldn't really connect with you, you know? Yeah, I just like, you know what, I've been really lucky enough to see the great James Kennedy and like not everyone else has been able to see that. And like I really believe in you James.

Starting point is 00:42:48 And just like embrace the fact that you've just, just you have to embrace the fact that you've done some really fucked up shit. And then we get like, he's like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, that shaming is like, you look stupid fat and fat Katie and calling me a whore. You're a whore with a big big go out with a big fat man. Calling it a brainy, a hellbilly.

Starting point is 00:43:08 He's like, good back to Kentucky with the whole billy, your whole billy, your billy, billy, billy, your little. It's like, I love this montage right now. I know. It's like the James greatest hits. James is so good. He's like, okay, that was not nice.

Starting point is 00:43:22 That was not nice then. All right, all right, that was not nice. That was not nice then. All right. All right. That was not nice. Then they basically agreed to unblock each other on Instagram, which is a pretty big deal. That's like almost as big as you know, going to Marina Delvara to play Scategorist, if you ask me. Yeah. Um, so then also she's only doing this because if she doesn't have you to fuck over the season, we actually have to concentrate on her big storyline, which is picking up shit at the Vanderpump rules dogs or whatever. Vanderpump dogs or pets or whatever. Okay.

Starting point is 00:43:52 Yeah. She doesn't work at Sur anymore. So like what else are you going to do? Dana and Max go on a date. Well, we have like a dueling scenes here because we have Dana and Max going on their date, but at the same time we have Ariana, Sheena and someone named Danica over at El Cabajre. Yeah, so yogurt, right? Danica, is that a yogurt?

Starting point is 00:44:13 Dan and yogurt. Danica is like a race car driver. Oh, okay. Okay. Patrick. Yeah, so they're at El Cabajre, which I can't believe they didn't bring Katie. You know, she finds She finds the Mary Ochi Bans very romantic apparently I gotta all the time I love that they went there and my friend is always like, um, let's sit right by the Mary Ochi Bans

Starting point is 00:44:42 I can't hear you we were were right by a Marriachi band. So she is still in her surdress and she's like, I'm not going to follow her. I'm going to surf. It's not going to be crazy. And then like the camera settles in on Danica. It's like the first time we've actually really gone to see her. And you just sort of see her like looking off in the distance and like fudzing with her hair. I'm like, Raquel, this is your future. This is what you're what you will be turning into. Yeah. And Ariana's like, um, I just want to get this part of my arm cut off the skin. I mean, like our Ariana is not fat. She's got like a tiny, like everybody has like a skin on their arm.

Starting point is 00:45:17 Okay. Well, you're just going to skin yourself. I just want to dent in my arm just for the fun of it. Yeah. And Danica says, Oh my god. Can I go with you? Because my app just got that done and she's like a new woman. It's like, you know, you can barely even tell what she's waving at you anymore. So Danica, we learned is an assistant manager at Sir, but she's been suspended because her bartender, boy, for an ask her her if they could do a threesome. And so she shoved him and so she got suspended,

Starting point is 00:45:48 which I think is great. This is like, what a way to enter the Sur University, Anika, welcome. You are needed. Well, I'm on the restaurant side, and they'll do all the work, because someone has to do it. It's not gonna be me.

Starting point is 00:46:00 Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then told them that he owns some of Tom Tom and they're like, ah! She goes, I hope this girl doesn't think she's special. And she's like, oh, she's totally not. Oh, like, I'm Max's picking me up. I'm Max's gonna be the guy, man. Oh! So then we cut over to Max and Dana. And Dana is like, Dana's pulling her Riley. Actually, she's like, I'm just so annoyed that like,

Starting point is 00:46:43 she's gonna be busy work, but she's Charlie's getting all the real training. I'm like, you're a waitress. I mean, meaning that, not like waitress, but you got to clean glasses, right? I mean, yeah, I've always had to polish glasses. I like that that's just the fake storyline that she pulls out of her butt. She's like, we don't really polish glasses.

Starting point is 00:47:03 I don't know. I'm like, someone's gonna do it. It's usually the waitresses. I mean, how many scenes have we sat through watching Katie roll up forks and knives and napkins? Yeah, and the trick is to do them straight out of the dishwasher. So you're not stuck with that stupid hot water bullshit. I hate that. And I always hate the the the head waiter who makes you do that. Like Like put steaming water and then steam each glass. Guess how long water stays steaming? About two seconds, okay? And you have to restate the what?

Starting point is 00:47:32 Anyway, the point is. The point is that Dana has a point, I guess is what you're saying, that she has a right to be a little annoyed right now. Yeah, I mean, I don't really carry it. So Max is like, well, like, I just, like, she is older than me, first of all, if we're gonna talk about Shina.

Starting point is 00:47:49 And like, that's fine, but she is older. And she told me she's gonna stop using birth control and that she froze her eggs. I'm like, wow. Is like, she's like, she's really smooth. Say, okay, we're gonna play Sc max. Um, okay. Here's the category Where are my eggs? Okay, and you can't say freezer? Sprain go

Starting point is 00:48:15 Carwash like now sprain golf. That's what I said. Would you think we're gonna place categories stupid So yeah max is basically saying that they, they only hung out for like a month. There was like no big deal, you know, which is like reminds me of last week when he said that he, the last time he hooked up with China was when they stopped hunking up. Like, that's a very slippery timeline. Yeah. But then we go back to China and she's like, well, Max completely applied me. Okay.

Starting point is 00:48:41 Like, he fully applied me and like, like, I know I'm like, like, like, I know I'm like really stupid about giving boys gifts. But like, I'm like an Apple watch for Thanksgiving. Like, who does that? I was like, I probably said my life. I'm like, you got him an Apple watch for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is not a gift giving holiday. What were you? An Apple watch for Thanksgiving?

Starting point is 00:48:59 What? They just fell off there. So she's so she. And then back to Max, he's like, um, okay, well, you know, giving. They just love it. So she know. And then back to Max. He's like, um, okay, well, you know, I left my sunglasses and shorts is and then I went over there to pick them up and they're all on Katie were there and like they think you're awesome. So I just want to say that. Like they think you're really awesome. Like Katie wants to go to your comedy show and then they cut to

Starting point is 00:49:22 Katie being like, she's really awesome. Like, she's awesome. Like, well, you've got Katie's approval. Wow. Yeah. Ringing endorsement. We're there. Yeah. The Dana, I'm sorry to break this to you, but that means you're no threat. So you better up your game. I also, that's true. I also just love the way that he casually mentioned that Dana has a comedy show coming up.

Starting point is 00:49:47 I was like, oh, of course, she's a comedian too, of course. Yeah. And he's like, so, what about your mom? I know she's dead or whatever, but I don't know about it in depth. And so she's like, she's my best friend, then she got brain cancer. And that's how I bonded with Lola, basically,

Starting point is 00:49:59 is the story of her mom died, which is super sad. And she's like, now I tell Chuck's about her. So killing it. Yeah. And Max is like, you know, put her super sad. And she's like, and now I tell Chuck's about her. So killing it. Yeah. And Max is like, you know, there's real depth with Dana. You know, Shina Shina talks about like, photo shoots and emojis, but there's real depth with Dana. I was like, oh, this is gonna be a disaster.

Starting point is 00:50:16 This would be such a good disaster between the two of them. I love it. Yeah, he goes, you know, like the way that Shina talks, it's not enlightening to me. Sorry, sir. because you know, like the way that Shina talks, it's not enlightening to me. Oh! Sorry, sir. You okay?

Starting point is 00:50:30 Let us not interrupt all your enlightening experiences you're having at TomTom, sorry. Yeah. So Shina's like, ah, I'm a rea-a-a-a-a-a-a. Do you wanna come back to Saracus? It's like, sorry, I'm a rea it's Sar right now. And Ariana's like, yeah, well, I mean, basically, I'm a show and I need to do something. So it's either pretend I care what Lala's brother sings or pretend to go out

Starting point is 00:50:54 to lunch with James or work at Sar some more. So yeah, I'm gonna try and work at Sar again. Just Sar, I'll do Sar. So then we go to, we see like some bunch of things, but like we see Bo, Bo is a cast, works in casting, so we go to his casting office and Stasi is there, she brought lunch for him, and then they're like pretending like they're gonna cast her, and she's like sitting behind a desk and be like, I don't know what to say, even though she's been on TV for eight years.

Starting point is 00:51:17 Like this is crazy. And the casting place is called Cast Away, which is just so offensive. Like Tom Hanks didn't have to audition for that role. And the other person in it was like a volleyball or some shit. The volleyball. Yeah. And Helen Hunt. Don't forget Helen Hunt was in it too. That's true.

Starting point is 00:51:35 But it's like the most hopeless name for a casting place ever. It's like you have no chance. Welcome to Castaway. Don't you feel bad for Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser that they rebooted Matt about you and like literally No one like knows or cares. I mean, it's been airing. It's it's it's it's it aired it aired Is it a smart? I mean, I don't know because it's airing on like Spectrum. I don't even know it's like it's like oh it wasn't regular NBC. It's like not on like regular anything I'm like you know Paul and Jamie deserve better than that.

Starting point is 00:52:08 Okay. I were not really, I mean, that's so, wow. But I remember them. I only knew it was coming back because I read some article where it was like, Helen Hunt has to, is it suffering from exhaustion after it? Mad about you. It was like, what? It was something like, I don't, I don't know if I I'm just I'm passing out bad information because I didn't really care.

Starting point is 00:52:28 But I remember thinking what they're doing. Matt about you again. I'm exhausted. Imagine if Helen Hunt came to the crappies. Imagine if she was a presenter of the crappies. I feel like she'd be just like very serious. She'd like come out. Come on stage and be like, well, when I was working with Jack Nicholson

Starting point is 00:52:45 on as good as Geth, thank you. Thank you so much. She totally, she totally, she totally Laura Lineat or like when Debra Winger went on watch what happened and then she like totally ripped apart Andy the whole time. She's like, can you believe this idiot? What am I even doing here? I would love to have Debra Winger as a crappies presenter. I would just love her to be angry at us. Like, be the best. Just heck a lot. So this is what you guys do. You guys like talk about these shows. The aren't these shows bad and nothing you have to talk about. That's what you do. Oh, great, great. Okay. So the winner of Best Bravo Liberty is I don't give a fuck. Bye. Thank you. Thank you for doing that.

Starting point is 00:53:20 Thank you Debra Winger. So over at Vandip hump dogs, Lala is betting puppies. Woo hoo! Yes, she's doing that. And then, that's it. And then, yeah, that's literally it. She's just chasing after a dog poop. And then, oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:40 And then we have those, Ariana and she and Kristen and Brittany are like in some vintage place trying on veils Whole wedding dresses because Katie's on Pinterest where all these people wear tacky wedding dresses to a bachelor at party Wow, she looks like well, I'll pay my mom my wedding dress with tack. He's like I was like a I have some pictures of the wedding dress. Oops. I guess I save them on the Apple watch I give to Max. Speaking of which I don't think Max has opened up his Apple watch yet Can you guys check to see if he's opened up his Apple watch? Thanks. So

Starting point is 00:54:12 So Stasimbo spend another scene talking about how sick they are talking about Kristen Which is yeah, you know what it is and then Lala and Vanderpump She's like, um, I'm done talking about her ex boyfriend like whatever and Vanderpump. She's like, I'm done talking about her ex-boyfriend like whatever And Vanderpump is like, where if they're still living in the same house, how can they be broken up? 2020, what have you gotten stole for me? So then Christmas, honey girls, she's like, you know, I'm like trying to be strong and make these choices Kaka and then he just he gets really sad so I don't I feel bad, you know Okay, it's like oh, I know it's amazing and it's not black and white but like

Starting point is 00:54:56 So is friendship and I just want to say sorry for yelling at you you know, I was like, video, I know. Before we hug and then bring you this like, but you know what, he doesn't need to come to Miami with us. So like, so that's the thing. It's like, if you need a break from him, this would be like a really good way to start that break by not inviting him to Miami for my Bashar at party.

Starting point is 00:55:14 So he's not invited. Is that cool? Is Miami where Jack supposedly knocked up a girl or was that Vegas? It was Vegas, right? I mean, in the name of states, we're in a set of partners. I'm sad about where is Miami girl, right? In name of states, we're in town. I'm sad everywhere. I'm sad everywhere.

Starting point is 00:55:25 I'm sad everywhere. I mean, literally, like, Jack's, it's like all across the country is, it's like, you know, possible babies. I know. He probably like, he probably like, like, fucked a girl in the four corners just so we could take care of four states at once, you know? The new DNA test, 23 in Jack's, just to see how we're all related to Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So Chris really is really upset and crying and Katie's like, I'm frustrated,

Starting point is 00:55:53 which is hilarious. She's like, let's hug. Still hit your boyfriend. So then the Tom Tom's are talking to Max making a wacky scene at Tom Tom. Yeah. Um, they're like just like chatting and Tom Sanneval walks up and Tom San deval is like still doing a shift at Sir because he's like Dude even though it was fired I went down there and like man It's like so good to walk on with a big lot of cash So I still do the shift every now. I guess he does like spicy tequila. Did we go to that once? Did we go to one of his tequila nights? I feel to, I feel like we went, or maybe I went, like, for like, come to.

Starting point is 00:56:26 We went and we were like, hi, bye. I think that's what it was. Like a fine bar. I think one of those girl's nights when, yeah, I've told you about that. Yeah. The one where Billy Lee was all upset. I was there with a glorious night. Yes.

Starting point is 00:56:41 So then anyway, they're also like ribbing max because word got back to them that that max has been saying that he owns Tom Tom and he's like, no, no, no, I didn't say that. I just told these girls like you want to come to my bar like meaning like the bar that I work at where I get enlightened. Okay, like not like it's not like I own this bar, you know, he's such a liar because did you see how I said, oh yeah, I remember that exact conversation, bro, I remember that exact conversation, bro, remember that exact conversation. Yeah, he goes, I mean, like, I do pretty well for myself with girls. I don't need to lie about owning a bar. Yeah, that's what you lie about, let me just, you know, oh, and he tells us I've never thought I'd be 27 years old working at one of the hottest bars in Hollywood. Okay, are we gonna act? Are we gonna make it sound like being a general manager of a restaurant? It's like waiting in Oscar. Communities, Max. Yeah, you're not in a pack when, okay. So. Max. Yeah, you're not anapakwen. Okay. So you take that array off your head. Okay. So

Starting point is 00:57:53 yeah, he's like, I'll never choose a girl over work, except for the time that you step up someone who works at your company, which is probably you. He's like, I will choose a woman during work, but not overwork. And he says I had a girlfriend for like a year, but then when I started working here, that fell through. It's like, really? Because you suddenly had a steady supply. So then Tom is like, yeah, sorry, I was just about to go to a bad place.

Starting point is 00:58:24 I'll take you back. So now they start talking about Dana's comedy show and Tom Schwartz is all worried. He's like, I hope that she's funny because the worst is when you have to go see some other not funny on stage. We got a flashback of Tom's hand of all bombing on stage at the improv, which was, yeah, I was really hoping that Brabo's or Vann's like our band of front bros comedy days were over because we had those really terrible scenes of various cast members doing stand up. I don't know why there was so much stand up on this show, but there was a lot, but looks like they're back. Yep. Here we go. Uh, so then Kyle Chan,

Starting point is 00:59:03 it's not a season without Kyle Chan. I know. It's reloading off Kyle Chan exchange for some screen time. Another Kyle Chan moment. So this time it's Brittany and Jackson. Jackson is now in full like porcelain doll mode and, um, you know, Brittany's trying on her. I like, oh my god, look at this. And she's already bought the anniversary ring too. And Jackson's like, like she thinks like I don't see her expanding the budget. But I see, I see.

Starting point is 00:59:36 Yes, does she think that she's making Markle and whatever his name is? Like really? Prince Harry is the hard name to remember? Oh, yeah. So they're talking about what a timely reference for Jack. Yeah, so he tells her he's like, yeah, that guy's not coming on this trip. Carter's not coming in. I'll be the bad guy. I'll be the one to tell him.

Starting point is 01:00:00 And now it's nighttime and she not is fucking in a top. I just love watching she in a clock and I feel like they have a shot of scene of clocking in every episode and I appreciate it, you know, I just want to super yeah yeah I also like that when she clocks in it sounds like rain on the roof because of her nails so it's was like we should also mention by the way that apparently Carter was texting Jack to find out like how much hotel rooms how much does it cost to go down to Miami or whatever so like yeah because he's invited to go to Miami with everybody else this cast is such there's such assholes on this cast yeah but basically like there's jacks is like um yeah he's got a good scum

Starting point is 01:00:42 going on Kristen Pace for everything and like he doesn't want Chris and go to Miami without him because then the girls are going to get in her ear and like make her like, you know, car of daddy, mommy war bucks is going to like stop paying for a car to his life stop. So it's, uh, so it's nighttime at sir and she knows like back to training. Okay. Dana, what's this special tonight? And Dana's like, it's a pan-seered Chilean sea bass, also known as... Patatone and toothbrush. And we also have a tomato bisque and a tomato basil.

Starting point is 01:01:15 Um, tomato bisque and tomato basil. I mean, am I right? Did anyone else just throw that? Tomatoes and tomato basil? Uh, hey, sir, have you ever had a special that's not Chalene and C-Bass? Like, my god, that's all they serve! Nothing but Chalene and C-Bass. Nothing but fucking Chalene and C-Bass. And it would be this road of restaurant

Starting point is 01:01:38 that would serve tomato bisque and tomato basil soup. Like, but she is like, um, really? Tomato bisque and tomato basil? It's like yeah it's sir you guys want sort of like chunky like rutabaga stew or whatever it was like yeah. Remember when Luis Evander pump was trying out her new recipe for vegetarian bolognais and you're like so tomato sauce. I know. That's so this place. So she starts cracking up in Data Space. She's like, ah, never mind, never mind.

Starting point is 01:02:10 You know what? I just want to say one thing, I feel bad because I've been a bunch too. But there's something that works for me, and I hate it. I hate that it works for me, but sometimes I jumble to people. Like, her, the girl without an e-mail, I'm in sometimes I jumble, like, with you, I just jumble, like, I don't know what, lady, who cares you, Joe, with, train the person, okay? Nobody cares, you're at work.

Starting point is 01:02:37 Seriously, Ed Sodan is like, so you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Max, she goes, no, it doesn't, like, not at all, I can not really feel that at all. What table is that? Quick, pop quiz, what's number table numbers that? Nobody knows, okay? It's sir.

Starting point is 01:02:52 Do they even have table numbers? I think they just serve to lay in C-bass so that they can make sure that everybody gets their order. You know, it's like, I know. So lay in C-bass. Do they even C-bass? Yes, oh, you are the Chilean sea bass.

Starting point is 01:03:05 Wonderful. Wonderful. Yes, that tomato soup is lobster bisque. Yes, it is. Because that's what it's called, tomato soup. Yeah. Yeah. In business, we like to make people think they have a choice,

Starting point is 01:03:17 but they don't. It's just Chilean sea bass. Can I have a hamburger? Sure. Here you go. It's like a fish. No, it's like a hamplaya fish. Oh, that's a hamplaya fish.

Starting point is 01:03:31 My order, the brownie sundae for dessert, and I think you gave me Chilean sea bass. Oh, that's a brownie. It's a sea bass brownie. So over at the bar, Tom is greeting Ariana, who's just coming to talk to Vanderpump. Ariana's like, I'm feeling like really out of it Like I just was on the way over here and I heard a Justin Bieber song I'd never heard before and cried so

Starting point is 01:03:57 That is rough. That is rough Ariana man You're trying to Justin Bieber songs. Whoop. Wow. So she's coming to talk to Vanderpump, who just saunters in, you know, as usual. And people are working. That's what I wrote. People work over and over again. Yeah. Yeah. So basically Ariana and these things have been like a little strange since last season,

Starting point is 01:04:22 because of the season finale, Ariana confronted Lisa Vanderpump and told Lisa to stop treating Tom like such shit and Lisa was like, you're poor. So she's like there's some awkwardness there. And the meantime we see some people ordering some lady orders like a strawberry reene version and so then they're like putting it into the system and like like Charlie is like, um she ordered you're in a strawberry version and Brett goes, like you guys, right? And she is like, I would say that I'm certain that's all for marriage, but I'm divorced.

Starting point is 01:04:51 Ha, ha, ha, ha, I could do stand up too Dana. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm Brett's like, yeah, like now you're freezing your eggs. I know a scene, I was like, are you offering? Yeah. He goes, and he he goes no silly Sally. He did. Yeah, he goes no silly Sally. Right. What was that?

Starting point is 01:05:15 Oh, so Fred's like obviously if you looked up desperate in the dictionary, you'd see her face right next to it. So then we get my favorite set piece. You look up silly Sally. You'd also see her face right next to it. So then we get my favorite set piece. What's up, silly Sally? You'd also see her face. We get my favorite set piece. The refrigerator. Thank God I was worried for this refrigerator.

Starting point is 01:05:33 I was like, are they going to be shooting somewhere else? Yeah, so Brett Pulse, you know, saw it and he's like, listen, silly Sally. I care about you as my friend and I don't want the common knowledge I have anything to do with you and me, it's actually, but like like but it's like not fair to you because like it's important for me That like you're an independent mode in your life and so therefore like you don't have a boyfriend or anything like that because you're strong And you should be strong and like you know, I have an opportunity to traverse this thought process and like I don't know

Starting point is 01:05:57 Like I feel like I'm like I'm hot, you know, you're hot But maybe we shouldn't be hot together and like I love scatigores I don't know if I love scatigores like that, you know and like maybe we shouldn't be hot together and like I love Scatagore's. But I don't know if I love Scatagore. It was like that. You know, and like, I don't know, like. You know sometimes like, if you ever notice how sometimes like coasters you like put your glass on them and it slides a little bit,

Starting point is 01:06:13 I'm like why? Why is it do that? Got it. So he's saying that, but like, I don't know, I believe you. So how long does his monologue have to be? He's just not that into you. She goes, she tells us, like, you literally

Starting point is 01:06:30 cast me the first time I hang out. So obviously, you felt something. It's called, he was drunken horny. So yes, he felt something. So yeah. So Ariana is now talking to Lisa. And Lisa's like, oh, hello. Rant on person talking to me.

Starting point is 01:06:45 I have no idea what this is. Look at this. Look at this very strong bird that has got two wings. That function perfectly well. Wings that flew away from me. Oh, no, I had to talk, person, talk. I have no time for you put together bird. Bird in working order.

Starting point is 01:07:03 Bird in working order hmm I was like I just want to come back here work once a week but why? you're a bird who can fly why? it's like because it bothers me to be sitting around all the time I'm like where was I to understand? is when someone that you've been employed for ten years

Starting point is 01:07:20 starts talking a lot of shit quite frankly about you I don't see why that person who I've been growing for a decade. Would want to come back here after a decade of being employed is tapping me in the heart. Bird in working order, the greatest compliment to give your boyfriend is to ask him if he wants to be involved in our business business I gave him a manila photo. And Ariana's like and I apologize but I get very emotional in relationship to Tom. Let's just pretend that you actually had a contract that

Starting point is 01:07:56 made any kind of sense and didn't totally try to put off not giving me a contract. Let's sweep it under the rug sweep it under. She's like but you know what Lisa I want to work out our relationship. Whether or not I work here, I wanna grow as a woman, just like you have. It's like, oh, you grow. Is that your wing fluttering a bit awkwardly? Growing, but here I thought you were burden working order.

Starting point is 01:08:21 That didn't need to grow any further, but now you need to grow to be like me Oh Hopefully there's not something else wrong with you and Arianna's like, uh, well like depression like really depressed I have to press it like I got a birth. I got a house. I thought I should be happy and guess what still my happy so Super depressed. She's like Broken I did up about it little one So I'm super depressed she's like Seriously because area because she's like have you decorated your new house secure Worth functioning bird and she's like well honestly we haven't because there was days where I just like couldn't even get out of bed to pee and this is face

Starting point is 01:09:02 It's like she literally mouths Like broken birding broken birding I just couldn't even get out of bed to pee. And this is the face. It's like, she literally mouths. No. Like broken birding, broken birding. No. So Lisa goes, it sounds like you're not happy with yourself. Like, yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Why would you need to get out of bed to pee? Ken just does it right in the bed.

Starting point is 01:09:25 Oh, depression! Oh, score! Can I have some Chilean sea bass as a side with this plate of depression? Thank you. A properly functioning bird would get out of bed to pee and then would do many things with its life like, the greatest house. She must be broken. You can have your old job back broke. So Ariana gets her a job back. And now let's go to the comedy

Starting point is 01:09:53 of Venya, which I'm assuming is the comedy seller, but I'm not really sure. Nope, they are at the federal and no ho. Oh, yeah, that's some slim big and so we're there. What what happened with the comedy? No, not comedy store. Where do we have the crappies? Yeah, the improv does sorry improv on the dick. Yeah, I mean, I think that was your local haunt. Here's the thing. Comedy shows in bars getting really serious in Valley if you get invited to do a comedy show in a bar in the valley you just know you're like okay you're like all right I'm so this is a I'm supporting my friend moment right now yep so and Lord knows I've

Starting point is 01:10:43 dragged enough people to those in my life. I mean, that's that's why you said you when you were working on stand-up, you said you did it up in the valley because it's not like it's in my fixer there, you know, all the ones in Hollywood are too busy to get into, you know, it's all people from UCB like telling like, telling like serious jokes, you know, then we're laughing because they just didn't get it. Yeah. Yeah. Valley is where you really go for some desperation and comedy. Love you, Val. Love you. I'll be there soon. I'll be there. I'll be at an open bike in that little seafood restaurant soon. So Dana is very nervous about her big gig at the federal and she's like, I mean, I just

Starting point is 01:11:25 like, I just feel so naked and Max being there is making me feel even more naked, even more naked than when I was actually naked in front of him and he was entering my body. I was like, I'm not sure about these new people, okay? So far we've had a look it up in the dictionary. Um, really, that's all that sticking to my mind. You're just being a silly Sally, Ronnie. Silly Sally. Okay, so here we go for some comedy.

Starting point is 01:11:54 And where's Katie? Double. Double comedy. Katie's at home, she and Stasi are renovating, and then we cut to Stasi going, we're gonna make this more feminine. I have this candle, so it all start smelling like me. Oh, great. So you're a real winner. I know, goop, poop. So basically, yeah, they're all like the gang is there, like waiting for Jane to come on stage and Max is like talking about she and being super possessive again. And like he's talking about it so much that I'm like, I know she's possessive,

Starting point is 01:12:29 but I don't know. Something makes me something feels fishy to me. And I'm not saying that because Brett is on the show now. Like something really feels like like me thinking he he does protest too much like something happened. And he's like already setting up his defense, you know, yeah, it's alibi So stasi, I mean stasi who cares. Okay, so Tom and max So my god, I'm so sorry. I skipped to the candle seat again. What is wrong with me? You guys it's written like line by line Okay, so Lala's like wow Like a shina like has paid a Lala, she has like paid on you, okay? So you're like hers and her and it's like well

Starting point is 01:13:09 She doesn't feel like that about other girls he's hooked up with and Mama says yeah But she's still hooking up with him. So now let's get to the comedy So Dana takes the stage and she's like Yeah, I'm from Seattle and like, it's like I moved to LA and like people like don't wanna like talk to you, here it's true. And like, like people where their air pause check the mail and then like, it's like someone trying to talk to you.

Starting point is 01:13:37 It's like, I don't wanna go press pause, you know? And if you don't get that job, that joke, you're poor. Uh. Ma, ma, ma. It was so, you know, she was, oh, people don't really want to talk to you. Seattle. Like, is it just me? I mean, it's not like that's the, I think people are similar. Yeah, I think so. I think so. If you ever read the book, where did you go? Bernadette, her entire book is about a lady who doesn't want to talk to people in Seattle. Well, or me in Seattle, maybe it's just my face who doesn't want to talk to people in Seattle. Well, or me in Seattle.

Starting point is 01:14:06 Maybe it's just my face, but nobody wants to talk to me in LA or Seattle. So, yeah, there are so much that's so much trouble dating there. Well, I was Meg Ryan sleepless. She just wanted somebody to say hello. Okay. Yeah, so she's doing her comedy. She's like, that's fine. Actually, she actually does better than other comedy acts we've seen on this show.

Starting point is 01:14:29 Um, and she tells us, you know, I took the job at Tom Tom and then now, sir, so I can make enough money to leave my job in healthcare sales and focus on my real passion, which is comedy. I was like, what? Dan of the self care sales. And my real passion, which is comedy. I was like, you know what, this show still, I love this show. I'm sorry, I love it. All these, like, I love it.

Starting point is 01:14:54 Well, season one bravo, you know, they pay you like $5. So poor thing, probably it's like you're on the national TV show and you still can't quit your job in healthcare. Yeah, healthcare sales, which I guess I don't know. I was like, I can say anything about healthcare sales. I just think it's hilarious that it's like so LA to be like, I work in healthcare sales, but my real passion is comedy. The Katie is over helping Kristen Pack, which means she's obviously waiting for someone

Starting point is 01:15:24 to come over and shit on Kristen because I don't believe that Katie would just be like, oh yeah, I'll just update your house to listen to you, Pack, or listen to you, Pack, because Kristen will just go on and on. And Trixie was ready, by the way, because when we moved to when we got to Kristen's apartment, Trixie goes, he's no, no, no, no, no, good for you, no, no, no, no, good for you. Look, that one in Paul, we're going to send that one to the record company and get back on the label. So, tax comes over and he's like, oh, pack and hob, would you have to get out in Christen goes two days? And he's like, yeah, you just get through it, you know, like, I mean, you might want to kill your significant other,

Starting point is 01:15:59 but you're just gonna, you're gonna do it because, you know, I'm getting married. So I know what that's like. Yeah, so she's like, yeah, like, oh, Carter's been like taking a shit to the house and like, I've been pushing back a lot and having him help, but then I'm like, oh, please, please help me, Carter. And he's like, Jackson's like, you know, you can rent help, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:20 I'm like, oh, God, Jackson's making sense again. Yeah, and Carter calls her. And he's like, oh, hey, I'm on my way back now You know, I was just catching up with Ignacio about those guest doors. They look sick And we decided that we're gonna have chris and it's like no, no, we're filming right now, okay? Look, don't say we because like you know, I have to be part of this conversation Okay, we're totally not together. So I don't know why you're talking to Ignacio about guest doors, so okay, we're totally not together. So I don't know why you're talking to ignore you about guest or so.

Starting point is 01:16:44 Mm. I know, seriously. And I like that Jack's goes, Carter doesn't have a truck. He's not even moving boxes. He has a two-seater at BMW that Kristen is helping him pay for. So what exactly is his role in all this?

Starting point is 01:16:59 Yeah. And every what, no one's falling for this, because this is what Christians been doing like for the past year. So Christians like, oh, I mean, oh no, Katie's like, I mean, he's moving for you, he's calling about doors, he's talking to Ignacio, that's not a boyfriend. Vata has banned.

Starting point is 01:17:22 Yeah, and then Christians like, oh, I just feel badly because like he's being very wonderful right now. And Jackson, like, yeah, because he needs a place to live. No, wonder why, you know, and yeah, as a guy, an asshole man in Miami, how nice I was being to

Starting point is 01:17:36 him. Yeah, that's the thing. I think that's the reason why Jackson's so on point with the stuff, because he has been Carter multiple times to multiple women. He is like the King manipulator. He sees it.

Starting point is 01:17:46 You know? So, Jack's is gonna tell Carter that he can't come to Britney's party, whatever. And Christmas like, well, I'm not 100% confident that we should be together. But I'm not 100% confident that we shouldn't be together. Hmm, I'm like, you know, that's implied with just saying you're not 100% sure that we shouldn't be together. I'm like, you know, that's implied, we're just saying you're not 100% sure you should be together.

Starting point is 01:18:09 But basically she's trying to like, she's, basically Carter's manipulated her and she's like all messed up right now. I don't know, Chris, I'm pretty codependent. I mean, I think that's the guy saying that. Yeah, because she's codependent, but I don't know, I have trouble blaming Carter for every single thing because if you're breaking up with someone

Starting point is 01:18:28 that you don't have them move you, you know, unless you're just a fucking user, you know, which is not really much better. Yeah, but when Carter later on says, well, I'll text him, be like, well, without me, who's gonna do this for you, who's gonna do this for you, he's like, that's like, that is such a way to make people co-dependent, be like, like, after me,

Starting point is 01:18:48 you won't have anyone, like, I'm the best that you can get, right? Like, if she's breaking up with me, she can't call me every day to have her move her shit, or she can't call me to like come film her videos and all that stuff. Like, I agree, you know, I don't know, it's hard to know because they're both the mess, you know, I don't know. It's hard to

Starting point is 01:19:05 know because they're both they're both the mess. But yeah, he seems like a total asshole and she's the one paying them up. You know, she's the one paying the bills. So it's the same thing with James, you know, this is the same thing that was happening with James. She was paying for everything with James James. A total crap head and you know, blah, blah, blah. And then of course what happens when they start breaking up, she's still obsessed. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, her breakups, I mean someone like, like, you know, when she broke up with Tom Sandeval, that was like, that took weeks upon weeks upon weeks upon weeks. So yeah, she is. So Jackson said, well, if I was milking this cow, I wouldn't want to

Starting point is 01:19:42 leave because like, why would I leave a free cow? Everyone's like, uh, you mean free milk? I like you just like, decided just to have a cow. Well, cows are expensive. So the question's like, uh, oh yeah, I think jacks is on a high horse right now, right? You're almost a husband, we got a jack, we're your stu-jacks, Taylor, Coco! It's like, are we talking about horses or cows?

Starting point is 01:20:10 I'm very confused. So, yeah, and Jack says what I've been saying, which is like, you know, all a car to us to do is pay us the bills. I mean, everyone has to get a job. I mean, Uber's always hiring, lift is always hiring, and I was like, oh my God, kill me now.. Jackson saying the things that I say. This is terrible. Yep. So Carter comes over and it's time for the big talk and Carter's like, oh god,

Starting point is 01:20:35 I guess you're the bear of bad news, huh? Like, Katie could not look more excited. She's sitting there like Katie has so far this season Katie just is lingering in the corner, smiling and gathering gossip for other people. Yeah. So, Jack's, yeah. So, Jack's pulls Carter, so Jack's pulls Carter into the other room. And he's basically saying to Carter, like, you guys need to take a break,

Starting point is 01:21:01 you guys supposed to be breaking up. So, take like a month break, like this is ridiculous, going on too long. And Carter's like, well, do you think need to take a break, you guys supposed to be breaking up. So take like a month break, like this is ridiculous, it's going on too long. And Carter's like, well, do you think that's a good idea? Really do you really, really think? I mean, like how often are we gonna see each other after she moves to Valley?

Starting point is 01:21:13 And Jack's like, yeah, you're not supposed to see each other. That's like a whole point of a breakup, you know? And he's like, well, like don't you think that's a decision that she should be making, not you basically. And he goes, like, no, you need to make it because she can't break up with you because she's dependent on you. And he's like, well, I don't, why should I make that decision if I don't want it?

Starting point is 01:21:35 Then that's when Karna revealed he texted her like, well, when I leave, who's going to be here? Who's going to be there for you? Who's going to be there for you? Yeah, because he says, I wanted to know, like, when things go to shit, I'm always the one she calls, and now I'm gonna have to drive to the fucking valley to clean up her mess, instead of, you know. But you know what though, if he's saying

Starting point is 01:21:51 that he doesn't wanna break up, and then he's saying, it'd be one thing if he says like, I don't know, I think that like, if he doesn't wanna break up and then he's texting, if she says she wants to break up and then he texts her, saying like, when you leave, who's gonna be there, who's going to be there that sounds pretty manipulative to me. Well, but I don't think that she is. I think the friends are mad at her because she's telling them

Starting point is 01:22:14 that she's breaking up with him but she's not really breaking up with him. She's still together with him. She's telling them that they're broken up because she doesn't want them to be mad at her but she's still living with him and having sex with him. I mean, she says on camera all the time, you know, like when anything happens, she's like, ooh, and then cries to him right in front of everybody, you know, like she did last week at the party when he got confronted by Lala outside and she's like, oh, so sick of everybody else trying to, well, you're the one, such a mess. But I think she's getting trouble.

Starting point is 01:22:45 I think that she's obviously still dating the guy and she's just trying to make it a storyline that she broke up with him, but it's obvious. I think that she is a mess for sure and she has issues of codependency with men, but I think that he exploits that. And I think that that's what we're seeing here. Like, yes, I think it is fair to be like,

Starting point is 01:23:03 listen, you broke up with me, but then you keep calling me for stuff. Well, then he doesn't have, you just tell her no, what we're seeing here. Like yes, I think it is fair to be like listen, you broke up with me, but then you keep calling me for stuff. Well, then he doesn't have, he doesn't just tell her no, like we're broken up, you know? But it sounds like, it sounds like he's in it, like because he has no way to live and he has no income. And so he is saying these things, knowing that he's going to like make her feel guilty and like sort of pray on her weaknesses.

Starting point is 01:23:24 So ultimately, like yes, she shouldn't, if she says she can break up, it should be broken up. But he is also doing whatever he can to play those minds. Oh, the code-appended relation. I know they are the ones. I mean, it's sex enough to be in one. In those periods of time, I've had that, but God, to watch it is even worse if you get it.

Starting point is 01:23:46 And Carter was like, you know, things have been getting a lot better. I mean, like things have been going on the right track for a while. And then Jackson's like, well, she told me you're broken up, so it can't be that great. Yeah, and he's like, by the way, you're not coming to Miami, so there.

Starting point is 01:23:57 Yeah. So then like Carter and Carter's like, okay, fine. So he hugs Kristen and he's like, I'm sorry. And she's like, oh, oh, and then I have this like emotional hug. And then it just custody Katie and Jack's just standing there like, yeah, but that looked at Kristen gives when she goes to her Carter. She's like, oh, like she's annoyed that Jack's had to talk with him. Come on. He was doing that for you. I know. Code of panic couples draw all their friends into their drama, and then ultimately, what

Starting point is 01:24:25 happens is friends get sucked in into these positions of having to intercede, and then it's the friends who always get burned because the codependent couple always stays together and they're so awful together. So, if you're in a codependent relationship, just know that this is what we think. In that fine. Okay, everybody. Thanks, everybody, for being with us today for Vanderpoop. Drules, that was a long recap, Jesus. Okay, everybody. Thanks, everybody, for being with us today for Vander Poop. Druals.

Starting point is 01:24:45 We will be. That was a long recap. Jesus. How long was it? It feels like it's 20-20 something minutes long, my God. Thanks, everyone. It's still with us, darling. We'll be back tomorrow morning with Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Starting point is 01:24:59 Before we do the crappy awards this Friday, why are we? What's up? Yeah, everyone. Well, we're, what's up guys? What's up, there? Yeah, everyone, we'll talk to you tomorrow. Are we going to say there's still what? There's still time to vote. That's how it's going to say. Go vote, yes, go vote for the crappies.

Starting point is 01:25:14 There's still what. Some of the categories are like, some of the categories are only like a difference of like 100 votes. So every vote matters in a fake award show, OK? Yes, and go get your tickets for next week in Detroit and Columbus, and we will see you guys later. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Starting point is 01:26:04 Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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