Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Mad Wacks

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Brock celebrates his birthday Mad Max style and Katie and Tom fight over who is less qualified to have a say in the new business. Again. This week's premium bonus is a video recap of Selling Sunset. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to what do I crap and the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on you bros I'm Ronnie. Hi everybody. That's been over there. Happy in hi Ronnie. How are you? I'm just great. How are you doing? You know what I'm just great. How are you doing? You know what? I'm feeling quite lathorotic. That's how I feel today.

I'm a little broke. A little broke. And welcome to Vander Prumper Rules Day, everybody. We're going to be trying out some drinks during this show. Okay. I've got some acid ant that I've gotten the roaster. I'm getting ready to infuse some violent rage for this delicious drink. We're gonna be having today In the meantime go over to watch it crap and calm guess what's there? Okay?

There's links to our live shows which start in January and New York City Then we got a new jersey and then Boston all in that weekend It's gonna be a really fun time and we're going to 21 different cities go find find ticket links at watchupcrapons.com.com. See us live, guy. Also, that's where you'll find links to our Patreon, patreon.com.sasewatchupcrapons. If you have that kind of memory, because that is where we have our, well recap, our bonus episodes, okay, and we also have our video recap. So this week we're going to start doing selling sunset on our bonus season four of Netflix's glamorous wonderful show and you'll find that over there We're also gonna do a video recap of that a crap in zon demand

So go find it over there also we're gonna be starting the real house was of Orange County this week And that will meet a crap in zon demand video as well. So go find that over there and We do a show every Monday night now on an app called Greenroom. It's by Spotify. It's called Take a Seat. It's become really one of the best parts of our week because we just go on there and talk shit with you guys. You guys come on, talk to us.

You talk to each other in the chat room. It's really fun, really funny. So come join us for that. That's every Monday night at 7 p.m. Pacific 10 p.m. Eastern. That's free. Just get the Green room out from Spotify, follow at the Mandelker and at Take a Seat, okay?

So do that if you want to just listen to them and don't want to join the DeliFund, find that show, Take a Seat on Spotify, okay? Yeah, all that good stuff. Now, Ronnie, I do have to say that today I am broadcasting from within a smoke filled bell jar. Okay. So I'm like really excited to get talking about these Tom Tom cocktails that are on the horizon.

Otherwise known as the Vanderpump filter. I think we just they just gave away the secret of how they've been shooting Vanderpump all season. I've actually dressed myself in green, white and reds that way I can feel like a Caprese that's been dipped into a cocktail ready for consumption. Yeah, I don't know about that, but don't they already serve that? Because he's given us that drink before at Caprese. A Caprese?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we had that drink. How do I remember that? Where he's like, I don't remember a Caprese salad drink. I can't say it's like a Caprese in a drink. And then we ate the little tomato and cheese thing. I'm pretty sure that's happened. Maybe. I don't know. a crazy in a drink and then we ate the little tomato and cheese thing. I'm pretty sure that that's happened. I don't know. Maybe I just have that kind of memory where I just make shit up. But I'm actually not opposed to it. Like I actually think a tomato basal cocktail would actually be quite lovely. Um, but I just think it's, I just

think it's funny when they're talking about these cocktails, they're so ornate. I'm like, do you know how long it's going to take to get a cocktail in this place? It's going to take forever for these bartenders to make all these. Yeah. Yeah, just pour some vodka into a glass. Okay, thanks. So here we go. We start at the golf range. It's boys, boys, boys, boys, and the golf, golf golf, and it's some to go right boy to the call Yeah, just good old fun at the golf at the golf range does some the bros are all golfing and then we go over to Villa Rosa Where Lisa's asked that that one big sort of like on like unreal D dog that you have that has a little schmoopy Yeah, you know, I don't like schmoopy. I don't like schmoopy. Schmoopy is just like Shmoopy, yeah, you know, I don't like Shmoopy. I don't like Shmoopy.

Shmoopy is just like, looks like a swiffer gone awry. Swiffer with like a high pony. And so she's like, oh, Shmoopy, what do you think about this thing? And Shmoopy just gets up and starts something or arm. Yeah, to the, all right, now you know I only like a 30 second shag. Come on.

And it just runs off all dumbly. You know, like it's stupidly as possible. Because I don't really, yeah, that dog dog I don't think is known for its brains. And it doesn't even look like a swiffer. It looks like a real old-fashioned mop, you know, with a stick on me and that you put in the blanket and stuff. You're right. You know what?

Shmoopy is basically the edith of like Downton Abbey of, of Villarosa, right? Just kind of this like, well, no, not even because we all kind of root for Edith and I don't think anyone's really rooting for Shmoopy. I feel like Shmoopy is not television ready. Well, also Edith is so dower and Shmoopy isn't dower. She's like, why? Like whenever somebody comes in, she's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

She's like the Lisa Rina of dogs. Right, a little bit too much. Yeah, so same comparisons, she was just a pup. Still like coasting on the same thing. Like, look at me, I'm Shaggy. It's like, okay, Shmoopy, we get it. And you got my pony. You know that Shmoopy is Shmoopy with a K.

Shmoopy, oh, I thought it was Shmoopy. Well, Shmoopy gives a verymupy energy if you ask me. Yeah, needs needs to pay. I think you know that you shouldn't name your dog. Don't don't name your dog a name that's like one letter away from snooki. Okay. It's the German version. So then we go over to Katie who's setting up with the Pilates lady

because the girls are just going to do some Pilates. It's going to be Lala, Katie and Sheena. And she's like, my friends are coming. They had babies so they want to work on their core. Yeah. And we meet Betsy, the Pilates instructor who's basically like Susan powder meets Magica to spell.

It's like a very specific look. Yeah. She was really specific. I just like think Katie's level of enthusiasm is never, it's never what I need. You know, I think Katie's just such a fucking wet blanket. She's like a walking wet blanket. Everything that happens, even her wedding was like, I'm not to eat towels for my wedding. But it's finally working for Pilates. And it's like my friends had babies are working on their core. I was like,

yes, Katie, loving your negative energy at Pilates. Yeah. And then we cut over to Charlie and Rekel who are rolling up utensils and napkins. And Charlie's only been using one fork instead of two in the rollups. And she's like, well, why are you, why are you using two forks? And Rekel's like, Oh, one for the goat cheese balls and one for the salad. It's like, that's exactly just how Miss Manners taught us. For years and years and years, you always have two forks, one for salad and one for goat cheese balls. That I love that Vanderpump rules is pretending that they're so fancy

because you know, in real life at that restaurant, they're like, um, you're gonna keep your fork right. If you have an appetizer and they bring you an entree, they're like, you're gonna lick that off, right? Yeah, exactly. They're totally that type of restaurant. So then we go back to golf and Brock is like, Lades, or Galconvician. This is my dirty pleasure. And James, like, you're a pleasure. Don't you me a GITI pleasure? GITI pleasure. I was like, oh, man, my GITI pleasure is an athletic. I'm like, what are you guys talking about?

Yeah, it's lethardic. I don't know what he was talking about. He's like, so I've a tiniest city used wrong words, and then we see clips of him going like, I feel like a bad a daddy, because I did a band in my children. And I have, have you speakin' to her about it at all? Have you speakin' to her about it at all?

And then they couldn't really come up with a good dirt example, so they just did a thing where he, like, said something was cake, but it was really just pie. I'm like, the number three wasn't so strong. So James is like, look at that shot man. I think it's because I've been soap for a while. And then he swings in misses. And I was like, well, yep, that pretty much sums up your sobriety journey on this show, sir. Exactly.

Then of course, Tom Tandovall trots in with sort of a, you know, his typical costumey thing, which he's actually, I believe, tried it this out before when they played golf in Mexico, you know, like, so the plaid pants and everything. He's like, dude. Multiple, yeah. Multiple, multiple times. I think, dude, I hate golf. I hate golf.

But I do like golf fashion. Well, here's the thing, Tom Sandivall. You know, I let, you know, the cost to me, like I like his crazy dressing and stuff. But you've got to like look at this like a real housewife. You can't just be wearing the same costume you should all the time. That's why you need to either get a borrowed from designers

or just get a TJ Max card and go for it, buddy, because you can't just wear the same shit for three years in a row. Okay. People like, this is the housewives channel. Yeah, but it also just is like, it just is a constant reminder that we're watching a TV show, right? I mean, obviously we're watching a TV show. There's no sense of immersion, but like, it's that every time he shows up in a wacky costume for just like a regular scene, it's like in a, it's showing a full awareness of the camera.

And you know, like we're trying to sort of like get into these stories. And I think actually on a subconscious level, these kind of moments chip away at our ability to sort of connect with what's really going on on the show. Yeah, I'm not buying any of this shit anyway. So then we go over to Pilates and the teachers like, how are you feeling, she, you had a baby,

saying, I'm tired. I'm not, I was like, I'm amazing. So um, she was like, I've been doing light work, I'm gonna get this crop top frame back. I better stop it up a notch. Yeah, so then we're just like them all doing pilates, which, you know, continues to look like medieval torture. I know that's like the most basic joke that could ever be made about pilates,

but it really is true. It's like very torturous. And then Betsy, the instructor's like, okay everyone, you can all pop off. And the guy in the pop off that you're used to la la. And she's like, what is that mean? I'm all this like, that's when I start cussing everyone out and like slaying batch.

I had a baby too, but that was easy. I popped right out of my cookie bag, say. It's like, is that popping off? No, no stupid. It's like you used to be a bitch. You think you are Jesse J without haircut? Is that popping off? No, no stupid. It's like you used to be stupid bitch. You think you are Jesse J without haircut? Is that popping off? Yes, it was, bitch.

That was popping off that. So back with the boys, Tom Sanderval, it's like last night, I was like, La La, don't get back on my hamster wheel. And I, and no, La La told me, stop getting on the hamster wheel. And I was like, you created the hamster wheel, Lala, you created the hamster wheel. It's like, okay, you don't need to spew fucking spittle out of your mouth.

It's just a calm scene with the golf course. I know. And Brock is like, well, my mom killed me. The boy from Simbauldy, tell them that you did what you did in law. I can then kill them with the kindness. And I do believe, I generally do believe she's very good. I have to say, I mean, I don't what you did it like and then kill them with the kindness and I do believe I generally do believe She's very good. I have to say I mean, I don't know if that was a better better metaphor Not than what you were speaking of but I think it was pretty good

I don't know that with your storyline going the way it is this season that we should rely on what your mom taught you Okay, sir. Yeah, yeah, you like it, get a plane ticket, go to America. All right. Get in with coindness and make sure that coindness exists in a different hemisphere. Also, it's not a wise thing to say on a TV show. You know, Lala's gonna watch later with Katie because they're both gonna be like,

oh my god, he's threatening to murder women. I'm actually. He had to. Congratulations. That was totally my thought. Oh my god, he's threatening to murder women. On national television. Congratulations. That was only my thought. That was totally my thought. Oh my god, he's like violent. So, so then back with the ladies, Lala was like, yeah, I had a good time.

I mean, I wasn't mad about it last night. That was fun. And Katie's like, well, I saw you talking to Brock and I was like, how are you guys friends now? Or what? And Lala was like, yeah, no, we had a good conversation, but then send them all try to take me back on his favorite ride. You guessed it, the hamster wheel. Big, big episode for the hamster wheel today, guys. Huge, huge. They'd love doing the hamster

wheel metaphor today. And Katie says, why does he keep interjecting when you're talking to other people? Like, he probably keeps notes on his phone like a weirdo. Says Katie, the prime interjector of the past 10 years of this show. Like, yeah. Like, that's literally, literally that's her job is to go up to a table and say, oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. Do you need anything else? Like, she literally is trained in interrupting.

Well, it says, oh, yeah, I'm sure he has like a vault of history books. Like when I was born and kid goes, guess what? He has a history too. And if he's going to put her through tasks, he better make sure he can pass his own fucking tests. I think they're getting lost and tangled up in their metaphors at this point between the history books and the hamster wheels and tests, whatever. I think they're just now regressing to taking the SATs. They're just very... I'm not really sure what the tests are or what they have to do with hamster wheels and tests, whatever. I think they're just now regressing to taking the SATs.

They're just very good. I'm not really sure what the tests are or what they have to do with hamster wheels, but I'm with you. I was like, what are these, what are these two done? I'm just talking about. Yeah, are you saying that he has, are you saying that he has a list of grudges

or are you saying that he has a shady history that he should be wary of? I'm not really sure. So Lala's like, you know, the thing is he's just so sanctimonious. His name should be called sanctimonival. It's like out of the, if this is the person who is like rewriting Randall scripts,

it all makes sense now. Yeah. That should be the name of his restaurant. That's what I would name at. And she's like, now that you're involved in the bar, Katie, how do you think that working relationships going to be? I'm just like, well, Greg, their business partner really likes me. And he wants me to be part of that.

And then they cut to this again, to that clip where Katie says something, like, actually, I think that we should go with a 60 watt light bulb at 775. And she said, yeah, yeah, she should be on the team. I'm like, you know, that was, he was kind of just like being joky and probably fed that line by producers, right? And she was like, well, I think I have some past trauma with Katie and Lava being mean girls to me.

And because like, there she's being mean girls to them. And I just think like back to Azusa, you know, like what would have to you do? You know what I'm saying? My tone's going right now. I want to tell them to shut the fuck off, but I can't seem to get it. So then back with it, Lala say, because she goes, uh, Santa Valls going to not be able to take that well.

And then she goes, you're going to go toast 100%. Um, maybe it was about going to the drink. I don't, I don't, you know what? I actually don't cut that line to my notes. So it has like evaporated in the ether for me. I, I'm sorry everyone. I did not pay attention to a lot of talking about it too. Well, sorry I put you on the spot,

but you know what? I can't pass my own test and I expected you to pass my own test. So back on the hamster wheel. Ronnie, can we get off the Helmster well plays? Oh my god. So back on the hamster wheel. Ronnie, can we get up this hamster wheel plays? Oh my god. So back with the hamster wheel, of things happening over and over again.

Schwartz is like, hey guys, who wants to come over for, we're gonna have a creative session to come up with some cocktails. I'm like, didn't we just do this like five episodes in a row? How many cocktails do we have to see try it out? Yeah, and Santa falls like,

games, don't worry, bro, we've got a juicer. So we're gonna make you some delicious juices. He's like Santa falls like, games, don't worry, bro, we've got a juicer. So we're going to make you some delicious juices. He's like, I'm in, I'm in. And Brooks, so they decide, you know, they're going to do it for two nights, not just one. Yeah. So don't worry everybody. Yeah. So well, the pleasure.

Yeah. So he's like, yeah, well, when it comes to the new spot, like, I want like off the wall presentation on cocktails, like, I want it to be like exploding, like simmering wall, presentational cocktails. Like I wanted to be like exploding like simmering like second year day. Yo bro, I got the best blowjob from the sick cocktail yesterday. And then he's trying to be all cool with his legs crossed. Like he's doing his actor studio interview and then he knocks over his drink. Yeah, it goes, oh god. Oh, wait till he finds out that there's an actual cocktail

called the blow job. That may really blow his mind, truly. Hey, let's make a bet. So I haven't excused to put my ass on TV again, which I think we did last time I was in these pants. So whoever hits them all the furthest gets to hit a ball out of the loser's ass hole. Oh.

So he loses, answer then they put a T in his butt. And I'm like, this is all fine and funny and stuff and a nice throwback to that thing that Bravo obsessed over, which was the New Jersey Husbands, like, or what's his face? Frank kissing Joe Gorgas ass, which like, they showed that clip so many times, they were so amazed by it. So it's sort of like a call back to that. But I'm like, this is dangerous. It's like a swinging, none of these guys have proven that they are reliable in hitting their teas. And now one of them is going to swing a swing one of these irons or woods at Tom's hand of all's ass. Does anyone

realize anyone else a little panicked? I was panicked. The only hope here is that they'd finally knock that tattoo scarf off his ass once and for all. I'm just funny that they brought up Jersey because this is your twin season. So welcome to it, cast. So Katie, back with Katie. Out, Tommy. Out.

Out. I would argue that last season was the twin season. Last year was the twin season last year, but this year we're like, Oh, no, this is the twin season. No, I really don't. Last season, this season makes last season look like well thought out. And then they're, well, this season, you can make an argument is the twin season because a lot of the major players are gone.

And that's what happened on the twin season of Jersey. But I think last season was the twin season because you had a bunch of new people who were just like terrible and that needed to be kicked off immediately. Because I, although I did not really enjoy this episode, I by and large have enjoyed the season, but I usually am an apologist, so you know, that's how I enjoy your hamster wheel. So we go back to Katie and she's like, well, I think Greg really likes me and wants me involved because like I've knew what I knew that when you make a Business proposal that you're like actually supposed to say what the business is. So I think it's just like in everyone's best interests that I'm included as much as possible. And then she tells us Greg is seasoned. Okay, and he likes my ideas, which is great because that validates me and it annoys the

fuck out of Sandivar. Yeah. So then they're about, they're by the way, they're at um, that Katie in Shorks' house. And so then Sandivar comes up with a bunch of stuff and everything. He's like, dude, I have 10 cocktails designed already. And Katie is like, well, I think that like a margarita should be your signature. And he's like, oh, yeah, but you know how like in a barbershop, like where you keep your cones, like what if we serve that in like a mini comb holder, but it's blue and not a margarita. And it's actual chemicals. How about that?

She's like, uh, barberside. She's why don't you just serve it out of a Windex bottle. He's like, oh my god, that's like the first good idea you've had, Katie. That's awesome. Finally. So I was thinking we could get like a bleach container, like, chlorox and then like pouring out and put a cocktail in there instead.

I thought that'd be really cool. Corox is chosen. Or two like a, do a Heather's shot where you just make it look like a Drey-no and then everybody does the shot and you have like a coffee table you could fall through and die. Oh God, I love that movie, Heather's.

What a classic. But I saw Heather's, you know when I saw Heather's, we did a school trip in eighth grade down to Washington, DC, and we're on a bus, and someone put on Heather's. And so we all watched Heather's, little eighth graders on a field trip. Fuck me with a chainsaw. So did you catch that Katie was just starting out

totally bitchy. So she's like, what do you, how many cocktails are you guys gonna have? Like 10? I mean, God, the margarita should be the signature. She's saying that because that was Tom's, Tom Schwartz's winning watermelon margarita that that we like more than sand of all. So she's already trying to pick one with sand of all, right? So then um, he's like, uh, all right, Katie, why don't you try some? She's already trying to pick one with Santa Vall, right? So then he's like, all right, Katie, why don't you try some? She's like, no, I'm not trying anything tonight. And short, she's like, yeah, she doesn't feel good, Bubba's.

So he's like, good dude, Katie's literally been begging for a seat at the table, and now she's got one, and she's like, it's not like I'm asking her to rip shots just sample dude Yeah, and so then Jesse and And James so James and Jesse Montana, right? This is the last thing Montana. Yeah, he's been around season one. So James and Jesse show up And then Santa was making a mocktail and this was sort of like a montage of Santa All just being doing all his crazy stuff He's like check this out. It's a Cape Canaveral, Caprese

Dip it into the cocktail and then you sip the cocktail and then eat like a braise and then You watch a spaceship takeoff. We have a VHS We bring it to your table with a TV and you watch the whole thing Yeah, his Caprese cocktail needs some work. I mean, the best thing about a Caprese is eating the bread with it, I think, because you can't just have cheese and tomato without bread. I mean, I like to brew shut at Connoversions. So I say blend up some bread and some butter and- But that-

But that's- Caprese is not- I don't think it- I mean, it's lovely with bread, but I think a Caprese in a natural state does not with bread, right? Um, in the natural state where you say, hey, could you bring me some fucking bread before you get 10 to 2%, and they bring you some bread

and then you eat it? Yeah, that's how it serves. I just don't understand the Cape Canaveral part of it. Is it because the Caprese is on a skewer and looks sort of like a spaceship and you dip it in? I don't, I don't understand what makes it, like what speaks of NASA? Like I think the merging of the United States space program

and I could praise a salad is a little bit of a stretch, but I'm open to it. You know what I'm not open to? Drinking turmeric in my cocktails. Get that shit away from me, okay? I'm open to that, actually. I do know, get it away from me. Everything's gonna turn orange on me.

I don't want it and it tastes good. Don't spill it, don't spill it gonna turn orange on me. I don't want it. And it tastes good. Don't spill it, Ronnie. No, I don't want that. And then this is where he brings a smoke and the glass close thing. He's like, whoa, it's a cloud of smoke. As if it's like that.

I mean, like, it's cool at everything, but it's not like this. This is definitely something that's been around. Imagine delivering a cocktail in a cloud of smoke. I'm like, yeah, imagine, you know, 50 customers sitting there waiting to buy a place to drink water while your while your bartender is filling up a bell jar with smoke. Yeah, if you're at any Vanderpump restaurant, which I know they're not at their own, but he does serve this smoke stuff to it. Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. If you bring like a big glass jar with smoke

swirling around it and you open it up, it needs to have darling. Van der Pum, he's been out of there, you know, start wreaking havoc in people's lives. You can't just have a puff of smoke with no van der Pum appearing out of it. What's the point? It's definitely like bearing into the territory of what's that restaurant is important G or whatever. You know the one that has like crazy oversized stuff that went there on some of the shows,

but they have the same jumper. No, not Clayton Jumper. But there's like this, like this, like sort of this high end restaurant where everything's the cost cost a million dollars. Everything is super presentational. A burger that comes with a saber in it, you know? Oh, maybe I didn't gather.

I went to the really, go ahead. No, which one were you thinking of? That really fancy one where everything's like the food that they, what do they call it? Gastro-Intology, no, that's a Maxwell medical thing. I'm rocking it right now on this segment. But the one where, what do they call that food where it's gastro-

Gastro- Gastro- Something. No, no. It's really, it's like we made you a steak, but it's out of gelatin. A molecular gastronomy. Gastronomy, yeah, molecular gastronomy.

I went to that place. It was stupid. This is dead bed. No, it partened you to play something, you know, which is like, You're all something else stupid when that came to be, you get through a sentence on this show, okay?

Well, Lizard, we're here for some hot takes today, okay? And like molecular gastronomy, don't care for it while it did fraying. Just hang up on this show right now, okay? Anybody listening on your phone, just press end and go, it's not getting better. I can tell you that much. Yeah.

Please welcome my dear friend, molecular astronomy. It's time for commercial. It's time for raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

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to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Um, no, I have to say, no, but this is all, you know what it is? It's like, food God. You know that guy, food God. He's awful. He's awful. He has no, like, you just decided one day that this is going you know what it is. It's like food God. You know that guy food God. He's awful He's awful. He has no like he just decided one day that this is gonna be his thing Oh, he's so terrible that guy I forgot his name, but Jonathan something John a year

Yeah, Chibonny yogurt. So he he's just literally literally a carton of yogurt that takes pictures with crazy That like follows the card ashing and surrounding shit. I'll let you know. He found this gimmick. And this is what I feel like that's what this is all kind of playing into, like just these Instagramable cocktails, which I actually believe they're, believe it or not, despite all my, like,

and like, I actually believe they're good because we've had the cocktails at Tom Tom and they're like delicious, but I just find just find like I just see myself waiting and waiting and waiting for these cocktails There is such a thing as Limitations, you know what I mean on art. It's like you have the art But then it ends, you know, it's like pantomime's cute when you pass it on the street No one is going to a two-hour pantomime show. You know what I mean?

You need to reel it in. Art needs boundaries. You say that now until Barbara Hershey comes out with her one-woman Broadway show that's just her doing pantomime. And everyone's like, it's genius moment for her. She's a great, actually moment for her in her career. So they're tasting all these cocktails and shorts is like, yeah, I want to do like really

interesting cocktails like, you know, with maybe like fruits or herbs. What a novel idea. So everyone's like, wow! And they want everyone to come up, like you said, with interesting flavor combinations. And James is like, oh, and should we also come up with names that balls as well? And he's trying to, he's going to Katie into getting first off. He's like, and names.

How about that, Katie? And she's like, I'm not going to, I wouldn't suggest doing that. He's like, and names. How about that Katie? And she's like, um, I'm not gonna I wouldn't suggest doing that. He's like, but you know, did the name grovel and you cutie to the gro on you She's like, no, not really. And so just he's like, all right, Katie. Well, if like you could name it Like if this could be Katie's name of a restaurant, what would it be? She's just I like once upon a time He's like, oh my god, that's cute. Oh no, no, it's not sorry, I like what's upon a time. He's like, oh my god, that's Kiao. No, no, no, it's not. Sorry, rejecting.

I reject that once upon a time. Okay, so here's the thing. We've talked about this. I'm not even gonna defend or weigh in on shorts and sandies anymore because we've talked about it at length where we stand on it. Once upon a time is objectively worse than shorts and sandies.

Wherever you stand on shorts and sandies, once upon a time, objectively worse than shorts and sandies. Wherever you stand on shorts and sandies, once upon a time, that's the name of a cocktail. That's not the name of a bar or crying out loud. It sounds like the name of a dessert shop in New York, the where you go on dates, that the inside looks like anthropology. That's what it sounds like to me. Like, once upon a time, you go and you're like, oh my god, it's whimsical. Do you guys hate tech men or once upon a time? And the and you're like, oh my god, it's whimsical. You guys, hey, take me to once upon a time. And the guys like bro on went to the gaiiest place the other day. It's cold once upon a fucking tone.

Can you believe that bullshit? Some annoying whimsical place that might make me feel silly. I don't like it. I don't like one upon a time. And I would choose Schwarzenegger's way before Once upon a time. So Santa was like, but you know that it shorts and sand is to guess well, I'm still not convinced He's like, well, I like that you don't like it. Just you're glad that you're the only one who likes it He's like, I'm not the only one actually and Schwarzenegger's like, yeah

He's not because I like it too now, but I like it to ever since he brought me that flavored, you know, that flavored Loub and that went to the Paltrow vagina candle really turned me. Okay, he's like, okay, you're like going a little too hard for right now. You're like, oh, yeah, I really like it. I really like it. You're going a little too hard. So basically she's saying that now he is like trying

to convince her like over a compensate for the fact that he secretly does not like it. So then he basically is like, well, I'm a big picture guy. And I, you know, to me, the name is just small stuff, which, hmm, hey, I don't believe you're a big picture guy and the name is not a small stuff thing, but regardless, still better than once upon a time. And Santa falls like,

well, I'm amazing at ideas, okay? Like even the way he was gonna propose to you, Katie, even the way he was gonna propose. And then we get a, it's like, okay, so you wanna take credit for that too? Damn, he's like, no, no, I didn't do it all, but like I was there to help him, you know? And she's like, no one says you don't have good ideas, Tom.

You know what? You don't take criticism, Will. You don't take criticism, Will. Your name blows. No, it doesn't. You're fucking name sucks. Okay. What's your fucking last name?

I think it's Schwartz. It's like, you know what? You can, I mean, actually, it's Santa Ball who says, well, you can either be on the shorts and Sandy train or like get off. She's like um fine have fun with your bar. So she like wraps herself in her weird blanket that matches her wrist tattoo, which is also terrible So I'm not really sure why she's doubling down on that pattern. She's camouflaging a very specific spot of her wrists.

Look, it's a hole in my arm. Like, oh my god, how is Katie's hand even staying on her arm? This is just like a gap there. So she's like, I'm gonna go, she goes, I don't care anymore. I have more experience than both of you combined. SantaVall is like, I get that Katie's mom on the restaurant, but like I'm the son of a firefighter.

That doesn't mean I can hook up the water line and put out a fire. Oh, whoa, that will be so cool. Okay, okay, New Cocktail idea. We put, okay, we put a martini in a fire truck, we put it out front, and then if you want a martini, we bring the hose out, we just blow it into your face. Yeah, I mean, I agree that working in a restaurant once when you were a teenager doesn't really give you experience to open up your own restaurant. But also the example he's using doesn't work either because she's not saying just because

she's the son of a restaurant tour. She worked in the restaurant as her point. She's been working in restaurants, you know, if you said like, I'm the son of a firefighter and I went to work with him as a teenager, but that doesn't make me qualified to be. Anyway, the point is, is that a fight between Tom and Katie is too stupid, like it's too stupid to be talking about three episodes.

But this is episode like nine, okay? Yeah, more. And Katie and Santa was like, well, I started working in a kitchen when I was 14, Katie. And she's like, stop all because I said I didn't like your name and then she turns to sure, it's because you did this actually. You did this. Yeah, but you say that constantly in every scene to everybody who will listen, Katie. It's not like, it's this one time that you're saying it. It's again and again. So he's like, come on Katie,

he's like, you did this to me. And Santa Claus saying, it's not about him, okay. And she's like, you only pretend you like it because you don't like any of this fighting. And James is telling us, stop being a pussy Schwartz and tell your friend to zip it

or we're gonna have an issue way bigger than this. Yeah. And so Santa Claus is like, Katie, I got into business with Schwartz. I did not get into business with you. And Schwartz is like, wow, how did that escalate so fast? I was just juicing some cancel up and then suddenly dude. It's like, I'll tell you how it escalated

because, you know what, like regardless of where you stand on it, your best friend was mouthing off to your wife and you didn't put the kibach on it. Yeah, yeah, like, I mean, I'm not on team Katie for this, but yeah, just say to like, dude, don't yell at my wife. And can you stop trying to start fights, okay? But shorts loves this shit, you know?

Shorts lives for this. He feels like it's people fighting over him or whatever. So then we got a Sheena's house and we know because there's pictures of Sheena literally everywhere, not to print, print the canvases of Sheena looking at Brock. So then we see little Salem, the cat and Brock's like, I blowed off. Really? Now we've got another Bubba couple here. It was terrible. So it's, it's Brock's birthday party day.

And she knows like, I don't really understand the theme, like Mad Max. Like, I thought he and James were like cool now. It's like, no, no, no, man, it makes a movie, okay. And she's like, well, I watched the movie and it's just like zombie is going to war in the desert and I don't get it. And I just started to laugh at the love and I don't get it and I just

started to laugh at the love scene. Watching Mad Max and trying to understand it like that is such a great visual for all of us. Mad Max said I hated that movie. Oh my god it was amazing. What are you talking about? Amazing. That movie is so hot. It was literally the best movie of that year. Oh my god. Mad Max was amazing. It was the best action movie of that year. Oh my God, Mad Max was amazing. It was the best action movie of the past 10 years. What? Yes. God, that was like some art school.

That was like some first year film school trying to be art school. Oh my God. Oh my God. You have to stop. OK, let me tell you something, Ronnie. I have experience working at restaurants. OK, and if you don't want to take that experience,

I can't wait to talk about movies. Fine. One-supponetum. Mad Max. Try to get water for poor people while chasing zombies around in fast cars. He made that of tin soup cans and dirt. Well, it should be noted that there are no zombies at Mad Max. So that's funny. Also, strange choice for birthday party theme. I mean, I get that Brock was Australian, but like, why not the piano? Oh, I guess that's New Zealand. Well, it's also a weird thing to have a pool party at

because that's like all water, you know what I mean? So they needed to rethink this, basically. Yeah, like maybe if they went to do like paintball, it would make sense, but like, but yeah, that's, I feel like there's some better Australian movies. Muriel's wedding, how about that? That would be a great pool party theme. Yeah, that actually is a good one.

Like a girl who's just gonna get married just because she wants, you know, the popularity of it and really doesn't know what she's getting into. It's actually a perfect theme. I mean, they call each other terrible anyway, so why not just add a mural to it? The theme is you're walking through abandoned cities. I was like, um, so you're just supposed to wear like whatever you can fit into. I'll see that. Oh. I'm very concerned for her if there's an apocalyptic event. Um, so are there any cramp tops around?

I made this couple so can into a cramp top. Oh my booms! Oh! Oh my god. The print to canvas place got blown up. It's like yeah, instead of the rest of the world, Sheena, but this is the most important place. I love the idea of she and her just walking around

seeing what she'll fit into like what looks a god on me on Instagram. She probably would not it probably take her a moment to realize there was a post apocalyptic or there was apocalyptic event. She just like wow everyone's like sort of prestige days and like it's kind of like bringing me down because like I have a baby at home and this should be the happiest of my life and like no one's even alive to see it. I just thought I'd go home to my baby.

She wouldn't notice until like her likes fell on Insta. She like, why the man I have come nobody liked anything from my Instagram. God, why is the highway to a zoo is so filled with trees and animals now? Oh, so he's like, well, listen, if you plan med-makes, it doesn't really work. Because it's supposed to be whatever you find on the street. Maybe a boot, maybe a shoe, maybe a boot shoe. It's hard to explain. It's more of a vibe. I love those hybrid boot shoes, also known as shoes.

Or shoes. Maybe it's a pant, maybe it's a gene. Maybe it's a gene pant. Well, as soon as all these thing parties, like I'm fucking over them. Thank you. Says a Marisha. Yes. Yeah. So the one tall, the one, the one piece of truth that Jack spoke was last season when he too was like I'm so sick of dressing up for these parties even though he goes to one by the way but yes we're over it we're done we are done. So she's like I just feel uncomfortable like if I still don't fit in anything it's like

but you look amazing baby babe. She's like I'm not think fat I'm like the other day a world wide-benternity dress a right opposite of photo of it and everybody's like she shouldn't be wearing that stuff soon And I'm like maybe you're right. I shouldn't be wearing that Well, what is flavored yogurt anyway like does it grow? Don't get there strawberry yogurt the cops out of a cow. I just thought you said oh So she basically is like feeling bad about how she looks and Brock just want he can't wait to marry her And he can't wait for that moment when she feels good about herself and so it's her self I look good.

So then Brock that I love that they showed that they showed she knows that they showed the position she was talking about and she's like I was wearing a maternity thing it was like a crop top see through lace outfit and I'm like you got to love that that's how she knows maternity wear you know like I'm still doing a crop top and see through lace damage. So then Brock then takes off his pants and he's got like a speedo lawn because he's got there's some weird thing that isn't fully addressed that sort of pops up throughout the episode that there's speedos that have it's got sheeners face on it. And like, I think this is why the Vanderpump rules dress up costume parties, theme parties,

annoying me more, more than like the summer house, winter house ones, which they annoy me on that show too. But on summer house and winter house, there's something kind of just like low rent and last minute about their dress up. Like you can literally see the Amazon package arrive with a generic wig that barely fits. They just were like cobbled together

with these shitty costumes and they get wasted and then it's done. But there's so much premeditation on Vanderbilt rules and there's so much thought. It just feels like it's with us so much longer and it drives me nuts. Well his thing is speedos. I guess they always make fun of him

because he loves wearing a speedo. So now everybody's gonna wear a speedo for Brock. For little Brocky, which that just goes to show I can never be friends with Brock. I'm like not that that's even an option, but like in real life, I could never be friends with somebody like that. A friend would never ever just tell me,

go put on this speedo, okay? Do you wanna die? Do you wanna die? That's how to do it okay or try and give me Caprese without bread that's how you die in my world so then we got this Reddivis speedo of Caprese's yeah yeah that's my birthday party I'm like everyone's eating carbs today I mean I have a fun birthday you know so then we get this weird new Trixi singer, like I guess Trixi went on a smoking break.

Amador, sing back there. You know that song, it goes. Na na na na na, sir. Na na na na na na na, three, a-ha. Ha! Na na na na na na, four, a-ha. You know what that one? Na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na. I'm not familiar with that one. Wait, is that a real song you're singing or is that a cheesy song?

No, that's a real song I'm singing. Wait, do it again. Really? Okay. I'm so, I feel like I'm so close to Okay, anyway, that's enough. We've already lost a thousand subscribers But Lepa is a do Lepa. I'm saying do Lepa. She's saying her Whoo, I was like I got to get this right because last time you sang a song, I was about the

below deck selling yacht thing, and it was like killing me, and then people got, my final answer, do a leap of levitating. Yeah, so she sounds like that. Okay, so then, you mean the other ones, girlfriend? Oh, really? Oh really? Oh, I guess I knew that but I'd never put her together with that voice. Oh my god, I love that Yolanda has to do with that voice all the time. So like, are you coming to breakfast?

We are having a roasted lemon and you know, she's like, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming in to breakfast. I'm having a breakfast. Okay, okay Okay Do you leave us more like this One I don't know she has that song then while her like first big song one I don't know the new rules. I got new rules new rules. She's a little bit like

Christendotie if anything else. Um, there may be a strong person. I don't know. But that's a little long enough for this. So, uh, Schwartz is making breakfast and bed for Katie. So he knows he fucked up, right? So he does like a mimosa and he comes into the room. He's like, look at that, honey. There's eggs and a mimosa and an avocado smash. Uh, I was gonna make you a real mimosa,

but it's not the vibe. So I just made you some leftover, can't aloop pulp with a couple tomatoes and mozzarella cheese leftover. God, wasn't that amazing what Santa have all made. So anyway, I didn't really like our things ended last night. And he's like, yeah, looking back, he's like,

though, but looking back, I do feel like you're kind of the one that instigated it. I was like, oh, wow, this apology is not going in the right direction. Yeah, breakfast is bad to say is your fault. Yeah, exactly. So, he's like, well, look, I say one thing, the one thing to criticize, many loses his mind

and she's forced, it's like, yeah, but like, listen, you don't have to, you don't have to, you don't have to, you don't have to, like, you don't have to, like, I don't need your back on this one. It's okay, I don't need it. She's like, well, you didn't have my back. Yeah. And she's like, we're in a different kind of relationship, Tom. He goes, how so, how so, Baba? She's, what do you mean, how so?

We're married. And he's like, so let's just a piece of paper. And go, boom. And she's like, so let's just a piece of paper. And go, oh. And it's like, that's bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. Which yeah, yeah it is. After, after, after. I mean, have to be with Katie on that one. I am on Katie's side with that.

Like you cannot, that's like not cool to minimize the relationship or, we're just to reduce it down to that piece of paper. Which by the way, a piece of paper that you lost twice. Yeah, and a piece of paper that means like you own half of each other forever, you dumb dumb. So also, look, I'm never on Katie side. I'm not a huge Katie fan.

I think Katie's an asshole, but I do believe that Katie deserves someone to like love her right. And it's never been this fucking guy, you know, it's never fucking been this guy. And it's never going to be that guy. Like he's not going to suddenly turn into a good, you know, it's never fucking been this guy and it's never gonna be that guy like he's not gonna suddenly turn into a good, you know partner. I agree. I feel like He needs to grow up. He really really does because you know whether or not like you we could talk forever about you know Katie's role in this bar, which is actually I think a pretty fascinating storyline oddly enough

I do think it's fascinating because I think it's a very real world thing. But outside of that, he doesn't really ever have her back ever. And he is like, he does treat her like shit all the time. And maybe we think Katie's an asshole because she's stuck in this miserable relationship. Well, I mean, Katie's an asshole because Katie's an asshole, but I believe that even

assholes deserve, you know, somebody to love them and understand their assolutionist and stand behind them, you know, I'm still not on her side, but I think she's a love to that's why there's an old sex. So Katie, I was going to say that's where there's like wet wet naps, but okay. That's why there's But okay Just thought I do a loop yeah So actually that part is my god Yeah, that's where it becomes crow like yeah I Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's where it becomes Crowlike, yeah. Just for the, you know, I've, she goes, but you're at the end of the day, you're not there for nothing. If you say that this is my wife and I want her involved and that should be it, I should

be involved. And he's like, but that's how I felt before until that very moment last night because at this point, like, I just feel like it's counterproductive, Baba, you know, it's like, honey, come on, we're going to do something together one day, you know, we've always talked about opening your sandwich shop or, you know, like a rocket business or, you know, um, you know, all those ideas that we have. Jabani yogurt, I hear you can, I hear you can get into Jabani yogurt and become like an Instagram star. Maybe something like that.

Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Yeah, that would be cool. You know, something like that, but when like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that. Maybe something like that.

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So James now, now we see, uh, we moved to somewhere else in Los Angeles and this, like BMW sports car rolls up and James steps out of it. And I'm like, what is happening? Why are you? Why are you driving this car, but still in your shitty one bedroom apartment with a park a flooring? What is happening? Hmm. I didn't even notice the car.

It was like a very nice BMW sports car. Probably rented and listened. I'm not about to, you know, count other people's money, but it just felt like, it just felt like maybe the money is being put in the wrong place. Like maybe, I don't know.

I just didn't, I'm like, make better decisions, James, make better decisions. So here it is, here's your, here you have a girlfriend who is going on this journey to like raise $30,000 to like go under the knife again for Paul and a thief and you're just driving around in this fancy-ass car. I don't know. I just wonder, I question things. Yeah. Well, he probably got hooked up with the LVP car person, everybody in Beverly Hills or on Beverly Hills, the show, hooks up with like, Duret, you know, like, when she got her new car, like everybody gets these discounts on cars from some dude over there.

Well, it's not Peggy Sulemon's husband because the car is one single shade of black, as opposed to black and white. So he goes over to Peter's house. He's like, Peter, of no Peter, since I was a child, he was friends with my dad, he even lived with my dad back in the day. They were releasing albums together and let's be honest, get him wasted. But he's been said, but 20 years now. So he goes in and Peter's be honest, get him wasted, but he's been serving 20 years now. So he goes in and Peter's like, you're engaged.

You've known you since you were a year old. I lived with your dad, remember that? Has it talked your horror stories yet? It's like, no, but I do know my mom. So that's just one that keeps repeating itself over and over again. Peter. Yeah, there's a big like a British accent

off happening between the two of them. Hello, P-R. Hello, James. So, you know, I'll have a drop of alcohol in two years now. Oh, good for you, James. Okay, P-R. Well, we're having trouble, I'm struggling, struggling getting frustrated doing little things like drinking games, P-R.

And P-R is like, the rage is the best friend and the addiction, James, uh, Yeah, that's the truth. And he's like, when we stop things, it comes out in other areas. And James was like, well, I've still smoked weed. And that's why I don't go to AI because you know, it's still not to smoke the weed bit. And Peter says that he did sobriety without a 10 times, but he always relapsed. And it's not like everybody tells you where it's like, oh my God, I can't live without a drink.

It's just, it's calmer than that. It's like, oh, look at me, I'm sober. This is no big deal. I could just have a drink. And then before you know it, your fact. Basically, count as Luann and Leah, the two seasons ago on New York. So basically, it's actually a very nice scene.

And where Peter basically is like saying, you're you smoking the weed is just muting the issues that you're having and they're still screaming out to be heard and everything. And James is crying and he resolves that he's going to basically go fully sober, no smoking, no smoking up. And he's gonna do that in two weeks or something like that.

And Peter's like, it's like the best weed ever. Yeah, he's basically telling you, you know, you don't have to do it forever, but try it for two weeks and see, and it'll be okay. And James just starts sobbing. And he's like, he just, like, he says something, like I've never thought I'd quit smoking.

You know, I've been smoking since forever and I'm not even saying this like as a joke. I've done this before where I'm so addicted that I'm just sobbing like before I even start. When I quit smoking, I was like that both times. I was like, I can't even vaping at the same time. It's not the same thing, you know. It's like, oh, but I miss you.

Come back to me. I've cried harder over like quitting bread and cigarettes than I have ever cried over. Any man. So I get it. And James is so cute, you know. Like, this is one of those scenes that this is what James does to you. He acts like a fucking asshole. And then he has a scene like this where you're like, oh Come here little guy. I know. Well that I mean he genius is always fascinating because he has these incredibly

vulnerable movements where you do sort of see this like childhood anger or this anguish that has existed from his childhood this like torture He's been through where his classmates broke his he was bullied so bad that his that his classmates through where his classmates broke his, he was bullied so bad that his, that his classmates broke his arm and you just like, God, and, and you see like his mom and his dad and your heart just breaks for him. And then the manifestation of it, unfortunately, is him just being such a cruel nasty person sometimes. We're like, fuck this guy because you can go to that torture and you don't have to be an asshole. But you go back and forth, which is what makes him ultimately a very fascinating person, okay?

Well, so then we go over to Lala's and she's watching the baby crawl on the floor and she's like, oh my God, she hate pitting on clothes just as much as your mommy dies. And then we see clips of Lala's topless. And then Katie comes in, she's like, hi, oh, they both just had babies, but they're here to work on their core.

It's like, this is different scenes too, but I'm in bad. Betsy just shows up. Are you guys ready to pop off? I've learned what that means. So the baby's crying. Baby's crying. We have like an alternating scene situation

where Katie's with Lala and then Tom and Ariana and Schwartz are together. So they're going to like talk back and forth. Yeah. So the baby's crying. And Wallace calls the baby dramatic and Katie's like, yeah, she's like Tom sound a ball when you try and criticize him. Why?

I mean, yeah, but here you are still crying that you got criticized. What? So, you know, I don't know. The balls are both of your courts. And neither one of you were hitting the ball. Okay. And I don't understand how I met a forest. So I'm going to move on from that. Just think about Randall playing pickle ball. And that's all you need to know.

But Lala, yes, fragile is you go out of all them. So Lala is like, so were you kind of annoyed that Schwarze still went today? Like do you still do you think he's going to defend you tonight? Because I'm in the other scene. it's their preparing for night number two of cocktail tasting. And Katie's like, hmm, probably not. He probably won't defend me. Yeah. And shorts is like, yeah, guys, Katie's not coming.

I thought she was just having a hard night last night, but she's been really upset, man. Which of course, he leaves out the part where he woke up and told her she couldn't work with him. Yeah, I know. And also like way to really like understand your partner and what she needs, right? So Lala says, you know, you go really hard for Schwartzy and I don't feel like he goes hard for you. And like if Rand were doing what Schwartzy birds doing, I would like have to like come, I have like a come to Jesus moment with him. Oh really?

So are you just gonna direct Rance next movie? Lala I'd love to see how that works out when Mama just walks on the set Says I don't like the title. I don't like the scripts and I don't like the actors change everything. That wouldn't work Yeah, so Mama's like yeah, there are repercussions when you fuck up You don't get to come sleep in my bed next to all of this. What the fuck you crazy? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. And so then Schwartz says, uh, he's like, well, maybe this time is for me and Katie saying we want to open up a sandwich spot

ourselves. And maybe she's subconsciously resentful. It's like, yes. Yes. Exactly what she's like, it's not. I'll just about it. Yes, you made just a reasonable. She's not, like, there's nothing so conscious about it. Yes, you made like a promise. Like she felt left out with Tom Tom and then you made a promise to her.

And then you like ditched her again. Like that's just like, yes. So then Ariana's like, yeah, but like if I was Katie, I mean, if I was Katie, well, hell, if I was just me and Tom and me agreed to do something together and then he turned around and did something with Schwartz, I'd be pissed. And so then back with Katie, she's saying, well, I am done.

I'm not going to their tasting tonight because I don't even want to talk about it. Okay, sound of all, it's your bar. I don't need to be a part of it. So then she and Brock show up at the taste thing and Brock, hello, it's your favorite pipe ball. Hello, I got a big and a shoe one on each different foot. Can you tell? And then Raquel shows up and she's alone because James is at home playing Oculus and we just see him sort of like twirling around and falling on the floor. And then Brock starts talking about shooting a beer,

and he actually shows it to us, which he takes off his, his, what seems to be a nice shoe, and pours beer into it, and then drinks from the beer, and then puts the shoe back on his foot. That is disgusting. And, you know, not surprised. So then, shorts is made a cocktail. It's not for the faint of hot guys,

and Santa Claus is like like it's called the nicotine. Tom stop coming up with gross drinks like are you trying to gross people out at all times? Have you ever seen the commercial where they put a cigarette in a glass of water and you see what comes out of it? Stop calling it that like the barba saw. Okay. How about the ice cream? Yeah, like how about the ice cream? Like where's that? Yeah. So Lala is like, I can already picture it tonight. Tom being like, oh, it took me six months to develop this cocktail. And then it cuts the time being like, guys, it took me six months to develop this cocktail.

It's turmeric, Thai tea, chocolate bitters, crushed razor blades, rum, a rum and fusion and gasoline. Yeah, an actual Caprize that I've crumbled up into this drink. Please don't die of signline poisoning. It's possible. This is what I've done. I've taken some Capri pants and sewed them together

into the shape of a bowl and put a Caprize salad in the Capri pants and poured Capri's son on top of it. So Lala continues. She's like, yeah, I have this lavender fruit that was imported from Thailand and I put some brown sugar that was melted with some butter, which I like because she's getting the Thailand part. She's getting a lot of it, right? And he's really good at it.

And you like barrel age paper, you know, all with Tom's good lovingavenport, whatever bourbon, Portland bourbon, and uh... You take a barrel and you put the barrel inside a barrel, a larger barrel, and then you barrel aged the small barrel. Okay, it's that good. Yeah. This is called the dead hooker. You basically like get a vat of vodka and a barrel, and then you put a dead hook in it. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, can we go back to the the tighty? Let's go back to the I'm fine with Tumaric now, okay? This is called the mother's milk, okay? You find an older lady from the Mad Max film and you actually have a breast feed into this just like the movie itself.

So then she goes, yeah, you like it and comes so then she goes, yeah, you like it, and comes back to him going, yeah, you like it. Ha-ha-ha. Mm. So then she goes like, okay guys, so yesterday at Paladins, we stayed and for class to chair, and I literally felt like I just sat there and silenced all the two of them,

were like, sand of all dance and sand of all that, and like, while I would mimic sand of all, and be like, sand of all was trying to tell me how bad, how bad, how to be better in life. And Katie was like, if you're gonna tell somebody to be better in life, you better pass the fucking test of your own, huh? Yeah, and I was like,

but like, how do I get my crop tops back? And Katie was like, you better patch your own toss. And I was like, oh my god, but like, why does someone post me wearing a maternity dress when they know Instagram is mean? You know what I'm saying, you guys? Yeah, but that's what they do. They talk shit. It's been years of that years like walking one foot in front of the other, but never going anywhere because you're on a hamster. We'll do. No, that's not what

they do. That's a sweeping generalization, dude. Katie, hold on. Katie, I said, super generalization. Was that the right thing I was supposed to say? Okay, thanks. Yeah, that does sound like a Katie phrase. And it's like, that's what they do in life. Come on, man. And he tells us, Katie and Lala like to indulge in talking shit, yes.

But if it bothered China, then why not just save in the moment instead of waiting until you're with your friends to be like, Katie and La La said blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because yeah, like don't wait a week and meet up with your friends and be like, oh my God, I can't leave him a shit. La La and Katie were talking about with Santa Paul. No, that's weak. And I know it's weak because that's what I do most of the time.

It's like, and Santa Paul is like, well, if you get in a disagreement and you're like, I like blue, but then they say they like red, then they're like, no, no, I like red bro, red bro! Red bro! Red bro! Oh my god, we totally have to have a drink called the red bro. So now... So now... LVP comes into sir, followed by Ken and her other little lap dog little fuzzy dot Whatever it's called so she's like look at look at sir so much more galactic now

I'm not going down with this ship make no mistake about it if this ship starts going down somehow a fire will start and I'll be insured for life Yeah, she is like she's opened up more of the garden. Or they sort of like just basically take over the parking lot or something and she's like, look, it's so much more vibrant, so much more eclectic, we have pinks and purples and oranges. And they're just like some umbrellas. It's like, this is just the, this is just sir. Yeah, pinks and purples,ples at sir. I've never I never So Charlie comes over and she's like I've got some rosé for you

That to be fan the pump rooze It is well, I mean look it's really good right now because I'm vaccinated So I don't like have to wear a mask and I live right up the street so I can just get right down here She's like can give her five. Good luck to you whoever you are. I work here. Well, good for you. Congratulations. Now move along. Move along, talking to you. Here's my autograph. Go ahead. Go on.

She's great. Talked a lot, but great. So then Rick Hill is in the back alley and James comes up to bring her some flowers, and she's like, my fianceing, what are you doing here? And he's just like, I just came by to say hello, yeah. And she tells him that we can at least her inside. So he goes in and we see, we see Ken and Lisa back at their table,

just like, just having idle conversation. Lisa going, oh, I like the pepoo green. I put it over there. I like it. It's beautiful. We're beautiful. We haven't talked about it five times today, but it's so beautiful.

Those are out fabrics have I mentioned that. God damn it, how was it alive? The fuck can kill me already? Does someone please save me one of Tom Tandoval's bleach strings? Please just end it. So James comes out and he's like, hello, shall I sit for a second? Good. Look what I did. I picked up flowers and dropped them off for a cow. Isn't that sweet of me?

Listen, I've been doing a lot of reflecting working on my issues because I dropped Peter, who's family friend. We decided I'm not doing anything drugs anymore. I'm going completely, sever, completely, sever, you heard it. Oh, no, Brent! I was like, okay. So when does that start? Exactly, because you're geeked out of your goddamn mind, sir. I know, I was like, Mon, Mon, Mon deposit debt.

And I'll just sit down right now. He just like joins them right there. So Lisa's like, so you're working on your anger issues. Like with Max, how you were so mad at Max. Oh yes, that is the party I'm going to tomorrow. No, don't you remember when you got Max a fat fuck and then expected him to be friends with you and then we get the clips of your fat Nobody likes you. I'm like oh, yeah, James still sex So he talks about how Peter is gonna help him and he's gonna help him get sober and can't like all drink to that

Listen, I've been sitting here listening about out to all fabrics before I've always tried to have to make a joke once in a while. So, it's like, I'm going to quit weed. And it's like, how often do you smoke that? Every day, Lisa, every day, well, what time does that start? Well, you know, it's a waking bake situation

put whatever only on Christmas isn't birthday. No, that's when you wake up and you smoke the wee oh right right right got it telling all right Well, and then Ken you're hopeful is that where it goes why don't you do you don't have to quit all right? Why don't you just cut down you know maybe not smoke every day maybe smoke every other day all right? Yeah, well the key is that with this addiction you want to knock it spark out knock that addiction spark out Okay So Yeah, he seems pretty geeked out to me, but he's like well. I'm quitting. I'm quitting completely

Completely literally just me trust me. If you'd have told me I was going to piece his house And he was gonna talk me into being sober. I wouldn't believe it But he said James it's better than being high and that's how I felt without alcohol, you know Hose him down And that time I felt without the hold you know Oh, right by by She's in that out of here hosting down I Know so now we go to Tom and Ariana's house for like the 10th thing that they've hosted this episode and It's time for Brock's birthday pool party So we just see a scene of like Ariana inflating things and trying to figure out a pinata and then Brock shows up He's got a big old Mohawk

and Charlie has a not very bad, maxi, like silver or mirrored like cap and she's like, I'm gonna be the fun police. I'm like, oh yes, we all remember in Mad Max beyond the Thunderdome when of course there was you know, Turner and there was the lost children and Mad Max and of course, the fun police. The fun police of Bartortown.

Yeah, I think the only ones that really did it well were Katie and Lala, am I right? Maybe I remember her. Katie, Katie looked like she was dressed like a genie. Katie did not look like she was Mad Max. So she did. Well, she was wearing those gargle things on her head that looked kind of mad Maxi.

Oh, I didn't see your goggle things. I thought she had sort of a strange look going on. I actually thought, I mean, I thought Brock was pretty good and Chino was pretty good. But there were definitely some weird ones like Lala showed up in like stars and stripes. That was like, do people know what the apocalypse is? Do people know Matt? They just like do a Google image search on Mad Max. Or they just literally just calling up Max Todd

and saying like, when you get mad, what do you look like? Just let's everybody dress like we've just been fired from surf, we're getting Max mad. Oh, James goes up to Katie. And he's like, so Katie, which one? So you could with shorts because that was fucked up. You know, no one said anything to stand up for you. And Santa Claus was like, oh my God, James, thanks so much for

Rowling around me. Like, thanks for the Rowling for me or whatever. And she's like, yeah, I don't know if it's because James is sober now or if it's just that, like, we're not attacking each other every two seconds, but like, it's great to rebuild a friendship. Yeah, so I was sipping. I was sipping. I don't think they ever really had a friendship. It's like, they're just building a friendship.

They're just building something and alliance more. So now it's party time. Sad twerking by the pool. Max is there with a girl named Mia who he seems to be romantically engaged with. Not engaged too. I'm just like partying fun times. And then Katie's talking to Lala and Katie's like, so I talked to Tom this morning. And Tom brought up that she and I was like, oh yeah, Katie and Lala were talking shit. And I felt like so uncomfortable. And Lala's like, if I felt like I was wanting to go back

and tattletail, I would have said, this makes me feel uncomfortable. Shut up about him when I'm around. And Katie says, yeah, is she uncomfortable because of us or is she uncomfortable because she didn't say anything? So then Brock's boys come over and they're pretty much what you'd expect.

They're like, what happened? Yeah, it's like a lot of terrible tattoos. Yeah, terrible tattoo party. Yeah, a bunch of big kind of rugby guys come over. And so the girls are like taking selfies and then Charlie's like, Oh my God, were you FaceTime me that picture? Because I'm going to like face tune it. And she was like, Oh my God, are you FaceTime me that picture? Because I'm gonna like FaceTune it. And she's like, oh my god.

I send my pictures to my auntie, and she sends it back and I'm like, oh my god, that's me, my face is perfect, and you've turned my wedding dress into a crop top. Oh, wait, that was my wedding dress, love you, my man. My man. So, um, so then Charlie goes off to take a shot. She's like, I'm gonna be a take a shot

and be the drunk bitch I am. I love you guys They're like was that? Katie goes Katie goes catch later So Katie's like so Shina the other night Did you tell everyone here that you felt uncomfortable in our conversation and She's like um well when you were talking about sandable I did feel uncomfortable because I had nothing to contribute to it.

But like, he's like, oh, my little, little closet, fast friend. I'm always like, yeah, but if you have nothing to contribute, then just I stop. Like, I would much rather someone tell me shut the fuck up. Dude, people have been telling you to shut the fuck up all season and you leave crying about it every single time. Be quiet over there.

And Katie's like, yeah, here's the problem. To me, that reads as something else. She was like, oh my God, reads? I'm not. Is this a butt clap? Please tell me this isn't a butt clap. It's like no, Shina. I mean, it seems like it's becoming

one of those situations where you don't want to look like a bad guy. So you're like, oh my God, they're bad guys, not me, because they were talking about you, not me. Yeah, but you were talking about him and not her, you know, that's what happened. So yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe she's like, I'm not in the mood to get into a fight right now. So I'm just going to let them be wild and say what they're going to say. And I'll just like report back and they should know better not to gossip in front of me. So she is like, well, it was like the first time that the guys are like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this?

I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this?

I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this?

I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? I was like, what's the point of this? talking shit to you, then you go and tell people that impacts me. Okay. So she never broked, she never violated the safe space of the post Pilates class. And so, which I mean, look, I guess she's right, right? Like she didn't, she just didn't take stuff and go tell everybody, but at the same time,

she knows right because she knows what they're doing. It's like she's, they're, they're being nice to her and now she's supposed to hate everybody that they hate. And then if she didn't go tell them, they would be like, oh my God, you were sitting there talking shit about us with those girls. You're not even a good friend, Shina. But also, um, a, she knows done this for 10 years. Now they're surprised that she's done it. And B, Katie is the person who does this the most also. Like how many times has Katie gone to law and I'm like, oh my God. So you know what?

She know what's saying last night? This is what she said. I mean, it's like, that's literally actually how this entire thing happened. Like that's all Katie does. Yeah. True. So she's like, yeah, if you want to be my friend,

then don't like throwing up at the bus. I'm just like, I'm sorry. And then they hug. And Katie's like, okay, I guess we're a hacking man. So then, Max and James are bumping fists over there. And James's like, oh, miss you, bro. Oh, miss you. How do I look in the spade-o?

He's like, like a god-de-media. Does she look like? Your fan. Funny, funny, and wonderful Max. Love to see it. And then elsewhere in the funny, funny, wonderful max. Love to see it. And then elsewhere in the party, she is introducing Charlie to this guy, Luke or whatever, and Charlie's just like gabbin'

and she's like, yeah, I probably might need one to handle you. Hey, who's this guy? Cause this other guy is like walking by and she's like, who's this guy? And she just like points to this guy. And then he like stands up and then just puts his hands like right on her waist.

Like, oh, hey. And she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. She's like it's a little aggressive He's like I'm European And it's like come drop your pocket whoops made you look loser fucking loser and So she tells us one who are you to don't ever ever not just me but Amy girl grab touch Just back to fuck up just back the fuck up, just back the fuck up. You better back the fuck up, otherwise I'm gonna do the whole, you dropped something, no, you didn't, made you look and no one wants to look when they weren't supposed to look, okay?

She's like, I'm not saying she now has to go like a WWE wrestling on the guy, but like, don't just stand there and laugh and text, like you need to check in with me and be there for your friend. Yeah, also Charlie's boyfriend could do that too. So then Lala goes up to Schwartz and it's like, I'm kind of angry at you Schwartz and he's like, why? And so she's basically asking him why he didn't defend Katie when stand ofof-all was

was like going in on her. Yeah, but I mean at the time I just thought Katie was looking for a reaction. She's like, well, stand-of-all it feels like he can do whatever he wants. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and it's like just because you say it doesn't make it true, Tom. I'm watching it. And he's like, yeah, exactly. Just like how you say it. Just because you say it, that doesn't make it true, Tom. I'm watching it." And he's like, yeah, exactly. Just like how you say it.

Just because you say it, that doesn't make it true either. She's like, oh my God, haps ter real. Literal haps ter real. Literal haps ter real. I love that. Lala is the one complaining that Santaval thinks that he can do whatever he wants. When she, that's literally always been her whole thing.

Like ever since she first got here and that's how she sort of like stomps around the show. So shorts is like, I know I'm supposed to have my wife's back but is it wrong to be objective with someone you love or in the case of Katie, someone you share a bed with? So Lala's like, she's like, well, you know what, Ryn Rand, when Rand doesn't have my back, he sleeps in another room. And it actually doesn't even happen that often. And he goes, yeah, but then if you're, what about, if you're willing on him and you're wrong? She goes, well, then he talks to me about it behind closed doors, okay?

He goes, yeah, but I did. I did do that too. She's like, and he lets me know in the moment that he'll write or die for me. He's like, okay, then you're right. You're right, okay. And so she's like, oh my God, I don't know when I'm getting so upset right now. Oh my God. And I love, I just, this whole thing about Rand.

Like Rand is the one who really knows how to respect women. How can he not be respectful of women like Rand? Yeah, a true gentleman, a true gentleman of gentlemen, right? So, so basically,, Schwarz is saying, he's basically saying that Sandevol and Katie are like brother and sister, and they're always gonna becker like brothers and sisters and LaLa's like, I can't understand you.

Oh, oh, it's because Sandevol's dick is in your mouth, sorry, and then Schwarz just looks away, and it's the end of the episode. It's like a clip, they end of the trailer with that one, they've like teased that clip so many times, like it's the funniest thing, but I still kind of felt like it was kind of a, eh, an eh moment.

Yeah, I would have only been okay if Santa Falls Dick is in your mouth if you're like getting a car out of it. Otherwise, it's just gross. So yeah, I'm not really sure. I don't really care. I would really like Katie to not be involved in my restaurant. I can tell you that if I ever had one, I'd be like, hell no.

I do get the whole, you know, it's half her money if he's taking out loans. So she would have some say if she wanted one, I get that, but then he's not putting in the same amount of money and he wasn't approved for loans. So then that would like kind of mess up the partnership numbers too.

And then I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And I was like, you don't really care. So maybe turn out something else. I think the issue is that Tom Schwartz has failed to create proper boundaries in the relationship. And he's like, I think he's sort of, I would not be surprised if he has sort of alluded to the fact that he wants her input, he wants

to be part of it, so she sort of starts to feel like this is going to be something that she can be part of, but ultimately he doesn't want that. And so, you know, I understand that if you have a business partnership and someone's like, oh, my significant other has this to say about it, that can be actually kind of annoying, because it's like it's between us, right? But I feel like shorts probably mismanaged expectations and boundaries. And so I blame him.

Yeah, I think ultimately your shorts is fault too. All right, everybody. Well, thank you for being here with another episode of Vandipumperism. Go get live tickets over at watchupcrapins.com. Join us for take a seat on Mondays, and get our bonuses on Patreon. We will talk to you next time, love you guys. Bye!

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