Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Mother May I Sleep With Danger?

Episode Date: January 31, 2018

On this week's "Vanderpump Rules," Brittany's mom is ready to crucify Jax -- or at least that's what Kristen is hoping for. Also, more drama between James and Logan, assertions of new wave feminism by Lala, and fresh loaves of bread at SUR. Come listen to our recap of yet another hilarious episode of VPR. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Poppins

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Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Kids what happens when this all happens? We're not gonna cry, it's all when we're not gonna cry. Kids what happens when this all happens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch A Crap, in the podcast, but all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Banta Blender, and joining me today on really one of the highlights of the week, which is our day where we discuss band-a-pop rules.

It's my good friend and charming co-host Ronnie Carrom from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hello, BenJuni. How's it going? How's the crafting mecca? Good. I'm painting some squares for our bases for a little awards that can withstand

the weight of the gold and then later Annabelle the sister is going to come over and glue gun everything together with me. I mean what a could you ask for a better life guys. I know a friend with a glue gun what could you what more could you ask for you know. Actually I'm the friend with a glue gun. You think she got to bring a glue gun girl. But I've been to her apartment and it's like complete, it's a gorgeous apartment and it's full of packing supplies. She's always packing up stuff, you know. So I was like, oh, you like to do stuff like that. Come on over. Are you sure she just didn't take you to Staples? You're like, it's so well organized here. I can't believe how many office supplies you have in your place. Why do you have so many desk chairs?

It's like Staples, but like with for for lounge chairs or whatever. I'm going to Staples later. I need to get envelopes for our crappies awards. And we have a I'm so excited for that show tomorrow night. We have how many how many awards are we giving out? One, two, show tomorrow night. We have how many what how many words we give me at one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven. I don't know. Some of some were like that. We have a lot of categories. It's gonna be a lot of fun. And we have some five hour damn show. They're gonna try and kick us out of there. And guess what we're gonna say no. No. Okay. No.

We're not going anywhere. This is our night. You mother fuckers. Yeah. Get out. Bring me some T.O.ers. Yeah, get out bring me some t-dos Yeah, since when do award shows end on time? I'm not sure. I don't have the answer for that But anyway, I'm out this one. Yeah, by the way, we should mention that one of our loyal listeners is someone whose Instagram handle is girl with the glue gun so there that's like there you go. Yeah So you guys in case you missed yesterday's super exciting news, we have a whole bunch of live shows going on sale this Friday, Friday, Friday, um, all over the place. Say Lewis, Kansas City, Atlanta, West Palm Beach, um, Philadelphia,

Phoenix, San Francisco again. So go to go to watchcraftens.com, uh, to to we'll have the ticket links up for that so you can buy your tickets. And then of course we have shows that are already on sale, like Houston and Detroit. Houston we are going to be recapping the dinner party from hell with Allison Dubois. And we also have the Chicago's, some Chicago's shows and Irvine's show. So go check it out. You come see our shows live. It's super fun. It's great to connect with other crap ins listeners. Make the memories. Take the photos. Have anecdotes to tell all your friends in the office. It's great times. What other make us feel good about whatever shit we paid for to go show up there in glitter girl. I'm wearing a glitter pink jacket. I look like Zigigg Frieden and Roy, but something even gager than them at the same time I'm produced. I mean, I mean, I self-sufficulous. I self-suffigure at what the hell I'm wearing to the crappies tomorrow night, but I we encourage anyone who is going to, you know, be award show

chic. That's what our, that's what our, our dress code is going to be. So I don't know what that really means, but just lean into it and see what you come up with. Lean into the award show sheet guys, okay. Yeah, so let's get this going, shall we, Ben Juney? Yeah, Ben Juneleun, you little Looney Ben Juney. You know, I love a crafting slash podcast day at the same time. Yeah, I'm excited because I'm excited for what you would have to believe like glue gun your fingers. You want those squares that you're painting.

That's why I'm stepping in about over for that. So be like, you're going to hurt yourself. You're a drug. And then I'll be like, OK, thanks. So the Vandipunpril's opened up with a song that's really appropriate for this moment is going to be the song was, like, got to get it together, got be the song was like got to get it together Got to get it together got to get it together

My mom has why lips and nobody knows why She was making out with a snowman Mama have you divorced frosty yet? Her mother would marry frosty the snowman try and get its money. Yeah. I don't know why I'm so mad at Sherry. Yeah, you are. Well, Frosty, I think Frosty would have a lot more money if he would stop melting. Because it's like, yeah, he's on everything at Christmas, but then by the time he finds a lawyer to take his

copyright case and trademark case and all that stuff, like he melts again. And then, you and then you can't just call the same lawyer nine months later and be like, hey, it's me, Frosty. Yeah, no, no. He is unreliable. He starts something and then he melts and you're like, okay, well, I thought I had a business partner here, but it's just a snowman. So I don't know. And then he comes back and he's like, baby, I miss you. And I was going to go into business with you, but I do have feelings for you. And he's like, well, you know, I was going to go into business with you, but I do have feelings for you.

I mean, I'm willing to look at this as like, maybe a romantic thing. And then he melts in. And you're like, oh, fuck, like I thought we actually had something I should have known better. Yeah. And much like the cast on this show, you know, everyone's going to end up with the damn carrot as an oes. Yeah.

Well, this makes sense as to why Sharia is so forgiving of Jack's because she's been dating a snowman and so she understands what it's like to give someone multiple chances. He might cheat, but at least he doesn't leave every new years. Okay, we're out. Thank you. Thank you. We'll see you all tomorrow.

Sherry has been dating a snowman and it's not even the it's not even a cool new snowman Olaf It's frosty like the old Olaf get out of here Olaf It's so talk about somebody who should sue he should sue fucking Olaf and frozen that's some bullshit right there You think frosty doesn't go field-depressed like he's an outcast and like go build his own ice castles with his mind Of course he could but he's not a pussy else, okay? You know comes back and he's nice to his sister and then he lets the town forgive him and, you know, gets his copyright money. Listen, Frosty's a mother-fuckin idiot, you know why?

Because Olaf has it right. He's like, I'm gonna hang out in Norway, so I'll always, I'll never melt. I'm just gonna be in Norway. I'll be in the Arctic Circle, which is where I belong. I'm a dream of sunny days, some dot, but I'm going to say in the snow. Whereas Frosty, he's so dumb, he gets locked in a greenhouse. What snowman goes into a greenhouse? Like, how does he not think about that? Who does that? A.F. Like, literally, like, this snowman, he actually could be a waiter at Sir, because only a waiter at Sir would be a snowman that would get locked in a greenhouse. And a greenhouse is like the hottest place. Like you want to lock yourself into James Kennedy's DJ pizza oven, go for it. Yeah, why don't you like lock yourself in like a Mount Everest like exhibit. Yeah, I think Frosty the snowman. That song is written

as a ballot and they just tried to make it acceptable for children in the modern age, you know, because they even sing about him like he's dead, you know, the frosty, the snowman, was a jolly, jolly thing. It's like, oh jeez. It really was sung by, you know, some Broadway star. Frosty. Well, you don't. Frosty, the snowman.

A jolly jolly thing that's very much like a youth minzum right there, like he's such a, he's like a thing. You know, you could tell that whoever wrote the song had issues. They called him a jolly jolly thing. Yeah, they were like gay bashing him. Yeah, I mean. I mean, listen, Frosty, you know he's annoyed everyone,

he's met, right? Yeah, that's why they call him a jolly jolly thing. Like they don't want to really, they're like, well, we'll let you make your own opinions on frosty, but we'll just say he's a jolly jolly thing I guess I don't know I mean I guess he's just a thing you know He's he's not classified we want to keep all the children away from him kill him kill him in the street They all melt him down. They're like okay Take that song to that musical theater lady sing at the bar after he died and turn it into a child song. Our history is fucked in this down. I mean,

in this world, you know that? Yeah, I know it's super, it's super fucked. Well, I'm really glad we explored that. I think me too. And so to waste more time before we get into the real recap, which I'm not going to waste time, but I do have to tell you this because I watched it after Summer House. Oh, so I saw the end of whatever and the beginning of Watch Your Happens Life. Love it. You know, I love I love it because I love catching Andy when they're like, okay, Andy almost Tommy's like, oh, really? I've got to I can do this. And then it opens with him.

Go. Welcome to Watch Your Happens. Why? She likes rules. And and she's she rules. It's somebody in Christin, you know, Christians like, who's like, who's the question was on it? Who's quiet in Christin? It was the strangest pairing of all time. Christin, do you know what a tragedy is? Is that good, Tom? So she came on. Yeah, he said something like this one has too much time on her hands. And this one flies someone into ruin a relationship because she can't or something. And Kristen's like, and she just shrugs at the camera like, that's me, Kristen.

I'm ruined someone's life on purpose. I think what just turns to Kristen is like, I have tried to keep on relationship. I have tried, but you do not, to keep you to get with me. You do not call me any way home. And Chris is like, oh, I don't know what someone is. She's like, you have traumatized me. Chris, the daffodil hasn't been. I'm traumatized.

That's quad for Mary to medicine. For those of you who don't watch it. This was your This was your hand teaser your teaser as to what we have in our bonus episodes and that was that was all I had to say because I just like the over the years Christians just become so proud of being horrible Yeah, like that's me. It's a horrible person Getting the side of her ears on both the first shoulders, you know, I'm not I don't care. Mm- care. He deserved it. Sorry, seriously, seriously. I took Frosty to his son, land

park. I took him to a piece of town, okay. I don't care. I'm not sorry. But I made fun of Rudolph. I don't care. I was one of the people that tormented him. I don't care. He deserved it. Everyone's like, is he right? No, because of Coke, was it because of pasta. It's not about the Rudolph. It's not about like literally someone posted this today. So I saw this part too. He's like, so are people saying that pasta is

code for coke? And she's like, literally, I ate the pasta. Like it was literally pasta. There was a pasta. It's literally pasta. It's like literally literally I'd ate it it like Kristen witty the coke you know like hammock christine that was expensive I would have bought you a slice for two dollars frosty gave that to us you guys I apologize in advance for those people who are

listening for the first time like this isn't even a Vanderpump rules recap that's right be like they talk for 10 minutes about a snowman. They didn't even get into it. I'm giving up on this podcast. I'll see you later. Ronnie's brain is on vacation today. You got the right videos. It guide me along.

I'm on my 10th, my 10th blue box. Yeah, Ronnie's basically huffing through this podcast with all the fumes from those model paints that you're using. So you're all paid from people. You're like, I'm just using some white out over here. So, um, just why are our words are like little pasta pieces covered in like old glue? Could you imagine if we made our word, our word, uh, crappy things out of Fusilli, like Fusilli Jerry, you know, like little.

I considered it. Really? I love a pasta string. Okay. But I was like, that's not fun. You can't make like jewelry. Like, here's your pasta necklace. Congratulations on your win or a monocinger. You're probably going to be there live. Yeah. So, so the episode opens up where we left off, which was Jack's coming home to discover a surprise visit from Sherry aka Brittany's mom. And basically the Taco Bell coven is in the apartment with Sherry and Brittany.

And Kristen is very proud of herself because she knows that Sherry is going to destroy the relationship. She's like, there aren't enough adjectives to describe how badly I want to break them up. I'm like, you know, you can just always sleep with them again. Which person? No kidding. And while you're at it next time, try second, the peanut butter, the peanut butter M&M's out the sides of the couch, Christian. Make yourself useful. And so she's like, yeah, every one of my girlfriends is dated, Jackson, Carmen, Lauren Gomez, this girl, on that girl, Anastasia Kruppnic, the napkin roles, Joe Shusef, the dishwasher, Sherry, Sherry the lamb top ladies, yeah she, she fuck Jack's,

Smooful up against, you know, like they were all better than jacks. Like every single one of them, but like Brittany is like better, better than jacks. So like, so what you used to Southwestern miles to bring your in shut up, Kristen. So Jacks is the worst liar in the world. He's like, they're like, and we're like, Jay acts. Are you surprised to share your Jay acts? He's like, I'm not nervous at all. I'm happy to see you.

Hi, I'm happy to see you. Hi I'm happy to see you. I'm like, where did that voice come from Jack's? This is his initial reaction. I recorded this sound. Okay. Hold on. Let me press play Hey That was it. Oh Jesus. He just started like cleaning house and he has Clean that nose. Oh Jesus these girls are gonna know I have cooked They're gonna go through my entire apartment and his first his first instinct is it go Well, you know, I can't I can't say I gotta go I gotta I gotta get you a gift

I gotta get you a gift. I'm I gotta get you a gift. I'll get you a gift. I can't be here. I'm gonna get you a gift Like there's no obligation for you to get a gift right now. That is the worst excuse to get out of the apartment. Like at that point, you could have just been like, I gotta see the urologists, the bumps are back, you know? Yeah, his idea of a gift is like, you know, we all know that it's like a Google image search of a diamond ring that he's never gonna buy Britney.

So, you like, I'm gonna get you a gift and by a gift, I mean, a blowjob for me and the smoking alley of Sir, I hope it's not Joe Sushap again that guy has some sharp teeth and then what's her face the mom what's her name again Sherry Sherry Sherry oh that's probably why I said Sherry before I was like why don't you know Sherry Sherry's battery Sherry's battery's own but you turned her back into Sherry the poor little place Lamb chop I turn into Sherry lamb. I turn Sherry into Sherry Lewis We're really going to like a childhood place between frosted snowman and lamb chop But Anyway Sherry's probably like Jay acts while you're out getting me a gift. Can you get me some new lipstick? He's like um

Okay, no, it's not actual lipstick. It's one of those pans, you know, that you write environments of this and stuff silver. I can use my lips Speaking of wide out. Yeah, she's like, I'm gonna do an art and craft stay here with my family with some I just get me some Wide out and I'll make awards out of my lips So he leaves and then Brittany and the mom are alone and she she's like so great. Me. How are you? I'm here for you. That's why lost 30 pants to come here. War is getting tight shirt with my brush, Owen, as it going. So I'm like, Mom, I'm hard hurt.

It's just because he came inside me today, doesn't mean that he can like live inside me, okay? Because I have power and strength as a woman. Just because I let him come inside, doesn't mean I'm ready to let him come back if you know what I'm saying. He can come inside me but he can't stay inside especially if he can start turning off the air condition while I'm upstairs. By the way, shout out to all the listeners who let their kids listen to the podcast. Again, I know there's something about that when you're like my kids love

this show even when they curse the next day we're coming back talking about coming inside thing. The effort for me, but there's something about that. And I apologize. Yeah, I apologize to, but I will not change anything. Um, so let's see the mom's like, well, you know, I know that must be hard because in every time he gets a text you're like who is this? Who is this? What's a text? Who is this? What are those letters?

I don't even buy it. It's centuries. Do you know they just released new emojis? There's one with a guy with the dollar signs and the eyeballs. I don't understand it because no one has dollar signs as eyeballs. You can't see two dollars. Can you? She does. She does. She's like do not leave him She goes jacks might not be the right one for you. Maybe the right third

Maybe the right third or fourth but not the right one. I mean the the first one you should at least try and believe it So then we go over to a place called jack and jill's two. I love one of restaurants a sequel, you know Jack and Jill's too. I love one of restaurants a sequel, you know. Um, it's a sequel to like a child's clothing place. Yeah. They have a place in the grove called Jack and Jill. Yeah. It was very Jack and Jill night on Bravo actually because Jack and Jill is also referenced on the summer house oddly enough. So, um, but either way is Jack and Jill's too for lunch and it's Katie and Lala and a surprising twist because they're trying to have one-on-one time

to get to know each other as ladies and really live form a real friendship and you can tell Katie was really committed to this because she wore a really tight bow around her neck probably to like choke out any bitchy comments she was planning to say like anytime she's about to say something she just pulls on her boat literal gag order oh, oh. Literally gag order. Like when people's strut, when people put those rubber bands on their wrist, and they're like, I want to cigarette. Ow! Snap the sound.

Well, my theory on her odd scarf was, okay, like, A, Katie, just at five, this is in the theory. Peach. And orange, don't go together. I don't know who told you they did, but that's terrible, so change. Two, she's like, I'm hanging out with a total horror. So I'm gonna make her think that maybe I do have hikis in it, you know, my husband does fuck me. Or she was just like, at the very least, I'm gonna be the top of the pink girl chain or the pink

lady chain on Greece. I don't know what she was doing, but ain't nobody scared of you bitch. Yeah. So Mama, I like to think, by the way, her peach and orange bow was an homage to her season two hairstyle. You know, she got a lot of shit for that hair, but looking back, it was kind of her best look ever, right? I actually never really minded it as much as everyone else did. I thought it was horrible, but now when I see it, I'm like, really, if you put, it's like on the evolutionary chart, that was the best game.

Yeah, that was when Katie and Kristen still viewed themselves as models, so they were trying to be avant-garde occasionally. Ooh, yeah. So I always had sugar cubes in their pocket. How of the days? So Lala tells us, or maybe she tells Katie who knows but she says I literally am the type of person that can just forgive and forget and by the way Anyone anytime anyone says that I never trust them. I believe they're always remembering and they're never forgiving Well, at least it's not that one where she's like, you know, well, I can forgive stuff

I never forget it. It's like fuck you then why are we even having lunch? I never forget it. It's like, fuck you. Then where are we even having lunch? But you need to, yeah, you need to forgive it and forget. I mean, not forget it, but don't tell me that. Like, I'm gonna be on probation with you forever, you know? I don't like that. Yeah, exactly.

I'm of the Lauren Conred School of I Want to Forgive You and I Want to Forget You. That's me the best way to do it. I'll forgive you, but I'm also gonna forget you. Yeah, and she was also like, bye, I'm a billionaire now. I'll never be on TV again. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so they're talking about Shina, of course, um, and I like that Katie says that she's like, you

know, I thought Shina was high maintenance as a friend, but it turns out she's also high maintenance as an acquaintance. Katie's like, yeah, you know, here we are, but we don't have the best track record. And then we see a clip of Katie going, you're mad because I called you a horror. Well, I speak the truth. And more importantly, we see Lala saying, well, I see no one here has been working on their summer bodies. She's one greatest quiz at all time.

I know Katie's like, Kale salad, please. Kale salad. Would I spurn please? She's like, I want to see you publicly for a meal. So you can watch me refuse to eat anything publicly, because I like health and I really need you behind me. Okay, that would be great. So Lala's on a big feminist cake this episode, really this season.

And she's like, I just want the power of the pussy. I just want every single pussy to just fucking get along I'm like well good luck on this show if your D-list is a rover from IP or from my B Your V should still wave at my B because Okay, okay, nothing brings the pussy's together by reminding people that you might be too ugly to be flying private I want all the I want all the places to come together and by the way if you're never flown private you probably just are not ugly enough. Look your face wasn't pretty enough to get you on a private jet but that doesn't mean our pussy's can't be friends. Pussy's don't have faces. The pussy with no face.

Pussy. Have pussy will travel. Doesn't really matter. Arapasa. Arapasa. Pasa, pasa, pasa, pasa. Speaking of pussy, we go to Sur or at least a van to pump shows up in a pussy bow.

There's all making sense. There's all the matter. Oh, Peter, guess what? This is like there's all there's all making sense is all thematic Oh Peter guess what I would like a nice shot of Julio Blanco how about that what do you think of that odd order Peter I'm a leader Peter by the way has you know he's he's working through his look at the moment. I think he's workshopping some new things. This episode, he had a little bit of like a flapper look. Like I was definitely getting some, you know, Zelda Fitzgerald vibes off of his like wavy hair, you know,

that was swept to one side. But he, so he pours Lisa the shot and then she goes, where? Where? He looked like a flapper. Sorry, he fixed me in a minute. I'm imagining all of Cabaret happening right now. He was like, the Alchemin,

the Alchemin, welcome Lisa. I mean, I was getting, like his hair, you know what his hair looked like? It looked like Catherine Zeta Jones in Chicago. What was her character name again? And just like in Chicago, he never changed his costumes. He's always just in the same suit. He's stuck in the Surjail.

You guys have a Broadway budget for this. Why is everybody always in just tights? Why? He's like, hmm, they had a coming. So, um, so anyway, so, so Peter hands Lisa this shot. He's like, in all my years at Sur, I have never seen Lisa order tequila. I've also never dressed like a flapper before, but hey, I guess it is new day for everything. I've also not ever not smelled like body before, but hey, I guess it is New Day for everything. I've also not ever not smelled like body odor. There was a lot of knots in that sense, but I feel like anybody who follows VanderPromp rules got it. Yes, so Lisa goes, well, now this is for you. Happy birthday, see you all in the memory, everything!

And so do you, right? For example, I let you pour yourself a drink off of my tab and now you get to go make me tea because birthday or not you went for me, Peter. And he's like, oh, don't do it happily, tea lady. God, my life is great. That was so nice of her to give him a free drink when he could have gotten the free drink anyway. Just like I know he's like the manages literally all I'm getting. I remember awesome wet maps. I remember Peter as your birthday. I mean to be fair there was a production one now and then said tomorrow night shooting at Peter's birthday party. But I remember it anyway. I felt really sad in this episode because you know Sheena's a broken woman when they show them like work, work, work.

And Sheena has one of those big martini glasses and she just puts it down without saying anything. Because the best thing about Sheena is like, oh my god, she's not. Oh my god, I can't believe we have Boston special. That's not something I've done a long time. Hey, yeah, or whatever she's doing and they show her wedding tables. And today is just like she's in her own head. She can't even marvel at the presence of, you know, a beat salad. I want to say something about the beat salad, but I just can't get the words out today.

I'm like the salad. Beat down. Beat down by the other girls who really my relationship from wanting to be miserable. I'm beat down in a little cliche. So Lala, Susheena and Lala was like, how are you? She goes, good. Good. Now, how was Lala's foot and now that your best friends were Katie? Lala's like, um, baby, like, baby, mama. She was cool, baby, mama. She didn, um, baby, like baby, mama is like, she was cool baby, mama, she

didn't even thought you. Yeah. She goes, yeah, because you tell me if she did. She's like, um, yeah, my pussy would for sure. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna say hi. Hi. My god, I love that our pussies are talking right now. It's a chance.

I need to stop wearing tights. So she does understand your pussy. Did you got your pussy? Sorry. It's right. Think underwear. Sometimes I wish my pussy would be quiet because I'm just trying to think about Rob and I'm like Rob doesn't want to always hear a pussy talking. It's like you know because Rob doesn't make out a lot. I just feel like it's really cool that we're going to pass the special, but like, I don't know. I wish Rob were here. I got my smile back.

Got my smile back. So let's see. So she is still mad about these rumors. And Lala, Lala is, you know, again, she's in this mode. And she's just like, you know, I feel like it's our job. It's a woman to forgive each other and just forget the bullshit, you know, like we can't be having these rumors. La la la. Somehow got this misguided sense that she can bring these women together.

It's not gonna work, but I support it fully. Well, it's my favorite kind of problem. It's it's Bravo feminism, you know, it's like I'm gonna rip them down and then try and glue them together and show how we they are And she even knows it. She's like, um, I was a tall tell so sorry mama. Whoops. Whoops mama Um, but like it started in a closet and ended it to come a dera so it's our job as women to forgive each other and move past this bullshit Posty talk straight. Posty talk. Okay She's like so she now you can do this. How do you just get past panic attacking every time you go, okay. She's like, so she and I, you can do this. How do you just get past panic attacking every time you go out there? She's like, well, if we could stop serving chilling and see that, that would help.

I still can't say that. So you're not a chilling see bath is actually called Patagonian toothbrush. That's so crazy. Uh. Remember when I broke my Tivo was my microwave oven and I was like trying to put food in my Tivo and it was like, boom, boom. So now we're going to go over to a joint birthday party between Peter and Carter. It's basically under five-stay.

Yeah, they're going to have a big table set up with Cheetos and like some great rolled grape leaves and diet coax. And that's it. Yeah. And I guess that there has been some progress on the feminist front because this is Peter's first co-ed birthday. So hey, like congratulations on making it pass like 1919.

You know, I guess that's why he has his flapper hair. He's like, we'll always have the country club my right guys So Lala Lala speeder became the only guy to not get Pase say on his birthday He was like what am I bringing all these guys out of town so I can watch them get laid Okay, that's I'm Lisa Vanderpump is paying for this He's like I'm just going up the street to state social housing just being done with it. I want to uber home afterwards So saucy comes in and Lala's like street to state social housing just being done with it. I want to Uber home afterwards. So Stasi comes in and Laos like, you are more gangster for wearing your own name than

I am. Even Stasi, like, is that gangster? It's like, oh yeah, it's gangster I am. It's like war just really basic, like super basic and not gangster at all. So the worst part about living next to Katie, you know, besides always wondering where your condiments have gone when you open the fridge, is that she's like, I could hear them last night and Jack's was not apt about the Sherry surprise. You know, Jack's is just like throwing things across the room that aren't his. It's like throwing everything across the room that he doesn't know. Now, to be fair, Katie may have been confused because she could have been just listening to her

radiator crank. Her crank. Her crank. Oh, God, Jackson's really mad. Oh. She just used the air conditioner like, but Jesus, he's gonna have a heart attack. Here's the refrigerator power up. Oh my god. He's really pacing now As a person who as a waiter who lives in a poor asset part, and I can tell you the sounds they make Every single sound they make. She's like, I'm concerned about his bowels too. I feel like something is wrong down there. It's like Katie, you're listening to the ice machine. It's like, so this is kind of cutting all over the place. Yeah, but James and Rekel show up James Rekel show up. And yeah, so they're

their Katie's, Katie's saying that Jack's wasn't happy about Sherry and Jack's is complaining to James about Kristen Meddling, you know, he's all piss. He knows, he knows exactly why Sherry is there. And he puts it the way that only Jack scan. He's like, the best part, it's Kristen's involvement. Why don't they just let a dead horse die? It's like they keep kicking me That's exactly what I think every time I think back to Tom sand of all finding out that Jack's fucked his girlfriend He goes yeah, bro, but his breath is so bad Like that's the worst thing he could think of yeah think of that was

that yeah so uh... britney and sherry show up uh... and then to add at some fun to the mix we get another surprise which is britney's sister tiffinie she shows up as well and jacks is even more happy because basically jacks and tiffinie did not get along on that spin-off show that they had it's funny that you phrased it that way because that's probably just how Sherry described the sister when she was born.

Look, it's your surprise. Surprise, yeah, this is another surprise. Well, somehow she's six years older than you, but she's coming out now. I was careful to say not to break me surprise. Other people in that family. Surprise, we got Tiffany. Now let's only feed her soda water. So Kristen is like, we did it.

Like George W. Bush on like the mission accomplished better. Like hands up in the air, you know? No kidding, the war in Iraq ended like 13 years ago where some shit. Nope, never gonna end. Yeah, exactly. So Sherry tells Tiffany, Sherry, Brittany and Tiffany are sitting down. I'm those names, I mean.

And so she's basically like, so Tiffany, did you hear the news? Jack's cheliedad. And Tiffany's face is like, what a fucker. I know, and I don't know what happened to her. I browse, but I love it. I like thinking of her just falling asleep against like a radiator or I don't know what happened. She's just got like two little commas above her eyes.

Yeah. And I'm here. And Jackson's like, who else is coming? Me, Ma, the tractor driver, the donkey, the sheep. Lamb shop. She goes, she goes, tell her what happened. Brittany's like, well, he turned off the AC after I packed up popcorn and zip lock.

And her mom's like, well, that's a soft way to put it. He cheated on her. Yeah, that's actually how it was. The sister's like, I mean, come on. No. I like him, but if he wants to cheat on you, then bye! Yeah, Tiffany's home with any common sense in that family, by the way. She's the only one who's like,

um, why you stick around with this piece of turd? Like, goodbye, goodbye. We have more sensible piece of turd back in Kentucky, and those actually won't cheat on you. And they're real turds. Either turn that turd into it. Never mind. Okay, so Lisa walks in. Sometimes it's good to know just never mind. Yeah. So turn into it. Never mind. Okay, so Lisa walks in.

Sometimes it's good to know just never mind. Yeah, never mind. So Lisa walks in and she's like, Oh, there's Billy, my new trans hostess. And she's like, there's Billy. And she puts like a hand on Billy's shoulders her to walk by and please like, no. I am getting a full on kiss with Lisa

Vanderbomb right now and she basically pulls these in for a kiss and you can see Lisa Vanderbomb is like now now you have to work your way up to that Billy. Listen now just because I call you Billy Lila doesn't mean that you've come to the same level as Lala. Lala was a little bird that was pushed out of the nest and learned how to fly in her own range Rover Billy Lee Now when do you turn into a tractor or a semi-trucks? That's trans access to transformer actually Oh, well these new terms are here for you whichever large vehicle you decide to be Billy Do you mind if I call you bumblebee?

vehicle you decide to be BELINILA! Do you mind if I call you BUMBLEBEE? Yeah. Um, actually, yes, because like tuna is a stereotype. So... I was referring to the popular transformer. I'm up with pop cultures. So...

I love the idea of Lisa Vanderpump sitting around watching the Transformer movies. Did you see that one coming, Ken? I'll bet not. I mean, it's all through. What they do to downtown Los Angeles, Ken. We have to do something. We have to raise money for the people whose buildings were hurt by that accepted cons. Those Transformers better not have touched the trans doggies. I'm having a fundraiser and we're going to march down to downtown and we're going to say no more decepticon's in you Lenees, darling?

I've made a documentary about all the travesties that Decepticon's on niche, on Ross Angeles. I want you to watch it. Ken, did you see it? Did you see it? Oh, so, the thing is that all it's so, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, The things that I saw in those photos. So stupid and that guy is the same guy. He's like, oh my god, hi, Mitch and Movesie, you and the dog's name is Pneut, you and me. We've opened up. The guy who runs the dog place, the movie production company, the catering place, it's her. He now works at Vandipump robots.

We adopt little robots so that way they don't get murdered by some decepticons. And band up, bots. Bots. Bots. So. Um, Billy Lee, Billy Lee La does love her some Wala and look, if you're going to base yourself, if you're going to base your new face off anybody, I've said it a million times already, face it off, Lala, I like two years ago, Lala, you know, which is probably when that started. But don't pick a picture

on Facebook where Lala looks like really surprised by something because that's what you get stuck with because Billy's face is like, she looks like she's doing that every time I look at her. She's like, yeah, she does. She does look like she just witnessed something in glue Do you guys know that there's a secret passage the conservatory back there? Like yes, Billy ever since Billy started her journey. She's been noticing secret passages Can someone tell Billy were not at a dinner party hosted by a butler? Are you sure about that because there's a secret passage back there. Men are like tissue soft, strong, and disposable.

Okay, telegram. We got shot. Does anyone want to know? Okay. Oh my God. How are we even? Why aren't we even doing this? You know, this is mainly my fault because it's just one of those days where my brain is just going Replace this frosty the snowman transformers clue

So yes, Vanderpromp shows up and let's see she's like beta darling. Are you drunk? He's like a little and she goes good be drunk be drunk theta. I approve now get me some tea Peter I would like I know what I would like a cosmopolitan and it's for you to catch you again Peter could you hand me that bowl of nuts on the bar thank you therefore you on the bar. Thank you. There for you. Be a jacket. You can you pass me a straw? It's for your dream. Got you.

Bumped. So Jack back over with Jackson, the sister and Brittany. Jack's is like. So you're staying at our place, right? Yeah, I guess you're just staying at our place. I mean, it's up to you. And she goes, yeah, you're gonna leave everything up to me, Jack.

Yeah, you're very powerful, Brittany. And he can't even, he's so bad at hiding his disdain about this whole thing. He's like, no, no, yeah, we've got space, yeah. Yeah, but sure, come stay with us. Yeah, that'd be really, we'd love that. He's not even smiling. He's just like he hates them hates them and he does this thing where he takes his whole hand and he puts it over his eyes and then just drags it all the way down his face. He just keeps on doing that all episode long. And you know what? I don't blame him for hating them because they if this was any normal family. Well, first of all, I don't know that a normal family would show up to scream with the boyfriend, but if they did, they would be like leave his

ass. How many times does he get to cheat on you, but this family is just keeping him strung along for their spin-off. And of course, he knows that. So he's being used to. I'm not as cynical as you. I don't think they're keeping him strung along for the spin-off. I think it's because this is unfortunately, these are habits that are kind of hardwired into people. And Sherry is probably like Brittany and wants to fix people and wants to see the good, wants to give someone another chance. And so she raised others.

She's been married four times. Well, either way, she's probably, you know, the point is that she's raised a daughter who's essentially a doormat, you know. And so I don't think they're there to get a spin off. I think they're there because it's like they're they're already got a spin off. They got to spend there. They're there to get that they're they're hoping for a season two. I just don't get their crafty enough. I don't need you to agree with me, but I will agree that they're not crafty enough as I craft.

Yes, so importantly, oh God, who is calling me to climb? You guys can't hear it. Seriously. Could you hear that? Yes. You could hear the dintin. Oh, you probably heard my headphones. I heard the boo.

It's the, you know, not the fucker. No, it's probably just tires. I got everyone. Thank you for being with me during this tough time There was a nail in my tire and I discovered it when I went to Starbucks I was feeling so proud of myself because I was like I'm gonna get a chocolate croissant because yesterday was called National Croissant Day Oh, they're calling against stop it My god, why do we need to fucking talk about tires? Oh now your belts are down. I'm gonna just fix the tire Just fix the tire. I said,

I'm not going to be free. Just tires. You're called just tires. Just do the tires. Yeah. And you just tires, not just tires and phone calls. So anyway, just text me just tires. Yeah. Why don't I need to have a conversation? Well, either way, I'm like so mad about tires, right? I'm so mad. And the thing is that you know the thing is with mechanics, you decline their call and then you don't care for like 10 more hours. So it's like, but whatever. Venipant Brawl is more important.

And here's another thing that was hilarious at the party. Stasi, who is not really very present in this episode, she tells us that her boyfriend Patrick went to Amsterdam without her. He went, I don't know if did he go with bros or something like that? But he basically, he went without her. He went, I don't know if did he go with bros or something like that, but he basically, he went without her and then you see a flashback of him talking about it and she's like,

so are we gonna talk about the fact that you're going to Europe without me? And he's like, yeah, but think about it as a good experience for me. Yeah, we saw that one, remember? And he was saying, was that, oh, did we already see that? I thought that was a new flashback. Um, no, he had talked about it because that was how they started that dinner or whatever. Where she's like, look, he's great. Everything's great. I'm really happy. He's a great guy.

And he's like, yeah, I don't want to talk about won't we were apart? Because like, what happens? Won't we're apart? Is really none of your business. Like he said something shitty like that. And I was like, oh, yeah, another abusive boyfriend, another emotionally abusive cheating-ass boyfriend. I'd want to happen. At least this one can make statements about like, you know, when it rains, you bring an umbrella. Like, you don't know if it's going to be. Oh my god. I mean, otherwise, you know, you're just that guy in the car with an

umbrella in his trunk. And no one really gets it until it's raining. And then they're like, that guy got that. You know, you're just that guy in the car with an umbrella in his trunk. And no one really gets it until it's raining. And then they're like, that guy got that. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, so we're here. So what do you? Yeah, cut your hair, Rick at Ralph. Yeah.

Just called to propose. Stop. Stop looking at your phone. Just figure out if that was just tires. I feel you. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm expecting this number in the internet database. No, I'm literally not. I was listening to you. It was weird that I just wasn't interrupting you. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm stuck in this number in the internet database. No, I'm literally not.

I was listening to you. It was weird that I just wasn't interrupting you. Is that what it was? Yeah. Why would you? Why would you do that? I was fully listening to you. I actually was not looking. I would say I would say I'm getting distracted right now. I got to put my phone. I would say something that makes to bring awareness awareness like I'm not being unsolved I can't I can't I'm getting caught up in negatives here so either way Lisa that pump really on the first 10 minutes the show by the way I just want to see it's like 45 minutes we know 15 minutes we've been talking I blame Frosty Frosty was so anyway Lisa comes, Lisa sits down next to

Sherry and Lisa is just leading Sherry because Sherry's like, I'm just an empty vessel for thoughts and Lisa's like, so you don't want him to be with your daughter anymore, right? She's like, um, no, I don't think so. Um, you seem so emotional. Um, you see some emotional. She, when she came into this scene, she was like one of those like, contrail planes, past and go for a head. She's like,

Hello! My bag! Let us talk about Cloud seeding and Jacks. She's like, Well, and let's say it's a big change in Jax And you know that Vanderpump is just looking at her like aren't you adorable with your skim tight dress and the bra showing through No one has taught you proper bra you said she had oh I can't wait to tell her that the world is round

I can't wait to tell her that the world is round So she's like you seem so fortunate this bird is too old she'll break the nest Some hens are just ready to be cooked carry on serious mom I can break I can help a broken bird, but when it comes to usherches. It's just too much So yeah, so least so yes sure's saying all that stuff and Lisa goes, Britney loves him so much it's unbelievable and you know sure it's like I know isn't it sweet you know at least as Hatch is like I mean it's unbelievable that you could be so daft. Literally unbelievable.

As in I don't believe it did you know that your daughter showed up to get a job here in her underwear that might have been her first problem darling you know you're not born with a book when you have a baby there's no book that teaches you how to be a parent not that you'd have read it anyway am I right Sherry's mom? Sherry's mom. It's speaking to be a parent. Not that you're the bread is anyway. Am I right, Sherry's mom? Sherry's mom. Speaking of the ghost of Sherry's mom. Oh, my God.

Do we have Sher? Hello, my eyes are closed. I'm not gonna say that. Sherry's mother here. She is. She's wearing a terrible bra as well. Well. So Brittany wants Jacks to say something to Sherry. But Jackss is like just not now. I'll do it later. It's fine

And then Lala meanwhile she gets into a very Jezebel sort of place and she's like I feel like I need to explain to these bitches What new age feminism is? You need to explain to all us bitches what it is because if it means fucking old fat dudes and getting rangelovers until they dump us I'm it. Wait, it's her choice. It's her choice. Yeah, you know, you know So Lala's like decided her example of new wage feminism is going to be Being a peacemaker for Shina and Katie, you know, cuz they're just making these roots saying these rumors and retaliating whatever She's like we're sitting the fuck down and then James just happens to be there. He's She's like, we're sitting the fuck down. And then James just happens to be there. And he's like, no, we're not sitting the fuck down.

Huh, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. But seriously, listen, she felt a certain sort of way. And then like, Kristen's like, James, no, she'll be like, Kristen, can I talk? I think this very bizarre moment of like voices and pitches and tones. Yeah, James had some weird stuff going on with his accent. He's very like, oh, Marapa, I will be struck.

Nah, I'm going to be struck. I'm like, why are you talking in a crockly accent all of a sudden it's really weird. He does it a lot more later in the Tennessee. But right now, she's like, I am obsessed with Gina and we are setting down. No! That's like, oh, here's what I have to say. I am obsessed with Gina and we are setting down. Nooo! Chrissy is like, oh, here's what I have to say.

And Gina goes, you know what, Chrissy, stop inserting yourselves. And every single thing I run out here, you're like, Jax, but like with the personality. Stop inserting yourself. Stop it. Stop it. I wish, I wish point Lala free, so she's like, I am done. I am done.

With every single person sitting there blaming each other for what the fuck is going down Let's as united fucking front as women come together. What the fuck is going on here? It's like whoa chill Lala chill too much. It is amazing watching Lala loose her shit They asked okay, and it's also nice having like a new friend who's like insane Oh my god this people are calling again And it's also nice having like a new friend who's like insane. Oh my god, this people are calling again. Turn off your gold damn. I can't help it. I can't help it.

My phone is off. It's my laptop is ringing. I can't help it. You have to turn it off and setting, starting. Darling, they are really, they're really insistent right now. Just go for it. If they call, if they call one more time, I will answer it. So, okay, I'm just warning everyone.

I've been pushed to the limit. With just tires. Jesus. But they work like curious. I'm furious too. I'm like gosh, Jarno, for them being on top of shit. Oh, now they send the text message about time. Okay, let's see what just tires says. Voice mail to text. Hello. What the fuck is that? They're voice mail is hello.

Love the bottom. Okay, well, as it turns out, just tires managed to mess up Ronnie's microphone. And so we had to pause anyway. The just tire situation has been handled. We can move forward. Which is good. I actually feel like tires is a great visual metaphor

for Brittany, right? Just something like road hard and going in circles. Or Jack's really, because there's one point later where they're boxing and Jack's is, it's not like a regular boxing thing. It's like shaped like Homer Simpson. It basically looks like Jackson in maybe five years. Yeah, just like you know, Tyre.

No, Tyre or burning Tyre fire. A lot of these associations work with this show. So anyway, back to this, back to Peter's party. So now things start to flare up with Shina and Katie. Yeah, so Stasi has just loved Lala and all I was like, Then I am done, then it is time to back! So she goes off and Billy's still looking like this. Ah, she really is.

That was like, that's such a good observation. It was cracking me up. Because it's also kind of like, normal Desmond eyes for anybody who's ever since that boulevard. She's very like I'm ready for my class out my It's like there's always that little part of just so lover in you still you know no matter What no matter how much you grow and change in life. There's always that little boy who loves normal Desmond yeah, so Billy is like I've just put Billy I so wide which sounds like a movie Mm-hmm, and she's like you're a So I'm fat Katie you're like sexy Katie

Take me Katie. Thank you. I'm a Katie I love how Katie's on her redemption tour now like oh cuz last year you were such a bitch And I are on a redemption tour and I was such a fake Katie and then yes as you were about to say Tom So Swarth comes in because you know and he comes in literally wiping his nose, which I love. So he's like, you know what, she knows, look at your nails. You're like the fakes person here.

You're like a bootleg Kardashian. Everyone's like, burn, burn, burn. And he's like, you only care about selfies. And she's like, and all you care about is making out with other chicks. It's like, oh wow. She just did kind of have a good comeback. Yeah, all you care. And he's like, she goes, oh, I got a swipe, standing up for his wife for the first time. That's what you do, Schwartz. That's what you do. make up about our girls so um Katie's like I like

Ikeela and they go away and then she gonna start solving to Lala Billy and Ariana I can be the girl I'm talking about I love I love she's like I love what you love I'm like I'm like I'm missing smile I'm talking about smile, stop talking about smile. And everybody on his like, guys, she is being super genuine right now. She's trying to explain what she is saying. She's like, blah blah blah. She's like, the side will shine right now. She's like, she's being super genuine right now. blah blah blah blah.

She's saying that her feelings are hurt. blah blah blah blah. Like the most beautiful side that goes over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a fire on San Vicente Boulevard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just south of Cynthia Street. Oh, maybe in the post office.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No, in the former American apparel. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yes, that's it. Get there now. Yeah. Um, Katie has to last see So Lala I guess because Ariana's like I mean

She's talking to Lala and it's like feeling she's basically saying like listen You know you're gonna get burned harsh is super fake cuz this is you saw what they did to me last year Because then you saw how I treated you last year was because basically the white what they might make me feel about you And like you're gonna get sucked in you're gonna like start feeling some things and that's when I was like listen babe You have nothing to worry about you may have p.p.s What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? PTSD. Yeah, PTSD, but guess what? Like a good PTSD. You're stuck with me, baby. Don't forget it's never post traumatic STD syndrome, okay? Cause that shit never leaves you, okay?

Let our pussy's hug and share what each other has. It'll be like why I get each other's pussy pops, just. That's how it's fun. I'm in my pussy founder smile back. You gotta love this show that this whole fight only like Real House as a New York City, this whole fight only took place at the 20 minute mark. Like I think New York City is the only other show that could have a major flare up and it still doesn't qualify as being the thing

that is at the show climax. That's why you got to have better parts later. Yeah. So we now just the under five party. Yeah. So now we go to Lala and James playing tennis. James like that to serve good. You'll get in lessons, Rob. What? Who are you? So it's like you'll get in lessons, Rob. What? Who are you? So he's like, you'll get lessons, Rob. Look, and talk, get a mess. And he's like, yeah, I just started. So don't like do it so fast. I don't like when BuzzFlight and my face asshole on the sandpads.

And he's like, get it. Ross. I was like, yeah, where is I put it? Her face is insane in sunlight. Now, the only reason I would say that is because this is one of the most gorgeous girls I think she's so beautiful and despite what I'm saying her about this you're actually really like her on the show I love everyone but she's beautiful

But it makes me nest that she's doing to shit to her face so young stop it You're gonna look fucking crazy by the time you hit 30 you're gonna you're already looking crazy But then when they get really close up on her face, she's not wearing makeup and she's still stunning. So, her stuff is all settling in nicely. It's not looking as crazy as it used to, which it's nice. She's just sort of now looking more natural for someone who has unnatural features. We're just getting used to it. It's like when you live in LA and you just get used to this shit.

And then you leave the Boston for a while and you come back and everybody looks like they're in Howard the Duck. So, yeah. We live in a crazy place. Yeah. Well, to be fair, there are people who are in that movie who live here. So, literally via Thompson. Yeah, it's like you come back here and everyone looks like they're in Howard the Duck.

Like, Lea Thompson is on our flight. Okay. Let's just get it out of the way. She wasn't. But, so Lala is saying that she her man are or they're she's learning tennis I wish you can play it with with her man because this way it's an activity for them and Jim's like oh yeah Lala and her man have a lot of common interests, you know They ride planes together and they love staying at the Beverly Hilton together on a Wednesday

Just a few dark carries in me. Oh, hilarious. Oh, so he's like, did you talk to Katka? And she's like, yeah, she asked for us live today. And he goes, you know, she, she just feels like the strange sheep in a corner. So that, yeah, but you don't think they're antagon antagonizer. So like, you know what? I've tried. And if they want more than little terrorist, pisses can go suicide. Childless terrorist, pussy. It's like, I don't even care. Here's the terrace. I don't know. I don't care. I'm just watching lines. At this point, Lala is washing her hands of it. Yeah. And Lala also has this to say, I just can't believe this group of friends. It's like a circus, huh?

It's like Lala. this group of friends. It's like a circus, huh? It's like, Lala. Of course, have you seen your show? Have you seen your show? She does start going into like restaurant manager territory, which actually is a good place to go. But she's like, you know, what, sir, it's like the mother shit. Okay, it's a fucking mother shit. We all are there. And we're all like family. Because we're at the same restaurant. It's like every manager, you know,

they're like, we're family guys. No, we're not. Okay, it's not always one person in the family who gets less allowance and still has to clean up all the dirty plates, you know. It's not the same as a family. It's not pretending people. Because I'll tell you what a real family is.

It's the Brittany families. So we go over to Brittany's apartment where like Tiffany and Sherry and Brittany are sitting on the table and Jack comes in with sandwiches and he's got like a taco sauce and ketchup and ranch. He's just like, just like, here you are. Fat fucks. Enjoy your condiments, you know?

Yeah, basically, he's like just throwing everything down on the table. He's like, I got everything that isn't completely solid for you to dip your fucking junk food in. Also, I got you all ham sandwiches, so consider it a tutorial in a bag. Not if you can still do it, right? Comes with instructions. I don't know if you can follow them along. It's three steps all in English, but there's pictures to help you along. Take him out, put on bread, add whatever condiment. Talk us off, perhaps.

She's like, yeah, but what about the salsa? Okay, I'll get you salsa too. And she's like, oh yeah, if we want margaritas, get your sideker. If we want wings, you better go to hooters. If we want some sales, say you better go to the fridge. You work for us now, J.I.X. You are so powerful the way you're making him work past fucking somebody else again. And then turning the AC off on you last time you tried to clean up the goddamn house.

Yeah, and you know what even was, what's even worse is that when she said want some wings, go to hooters, she didn't even say go to hooters, she said, get some hooters. Like, get some hooters, like it's like, it's like, as a quantity, it's a wing. I'm sure people say, get some hooters,

but there's something about saying that, which invites, it's, it's, it's a just such a familiarity with a brand, you know, it's, well it does, but also, Jack's literally got her hooters. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. This is so sad on so many levels, you know. So we're cross-cutting between Jack's and the family

with Lala and James Atennis, and Lala's asking James if Logan and Rachel or Rikalla are getting along. Because that's the most important thing right now. Who, like, will Logan, the, I don't know, long because you know that's the most important thing right now. Who like will the you know will Logan the I don't know how do we even describe Logan just the mincing sidekick and the vapid girlfriend ever get along who knows I don't I don't even know I don't I don't want to go there. It's just times it sounds like homophobic you know I know that's why I was like I don't that's why I started to stop just times it sounds like homophobic, you know? I know that's why I was like, I don't,

that's why I started to sound myself. Cause I was about to, that kind of thing where you have to start saying like, look, I'm not homophobic. It's I don't like, I don't like you cause you're gay. I don't like you cause you're you, you know? But then people are like yourself hating. And I'm like, no, I hate you.

Don't you see the difference? I think, I think we're allowed to be both. I think we're allowed to be self-loathing myself. We're allowed to be self-loathing, self-loganing, and then we can also not like Logan, right? Like we can... You're going to be self-logging if you keep this up. Logan.

So Lala was like, yeah, she's basically like, I think that Logan wishes that James were gay, you know, and then James says something like, he's like, well, Logan's my girlfriend mate. She's like, um, what else your girlfriend? Because no, no, that's not what I said. I mean, no, he goes, I said that and she goes, no, you said that Logan was your girlfriend. He goes, it's because you're twisting things, you're twisting them around, you're twisting them in my mind. It doesn't seem very hard to do that. Well, because if he likes me, you think I'll find a boyfriend or something. You know, I mean, I know he wants me.

Honestly, look at me. Oh, I'm James Kennedy. I look like a Jack in the box. I mean, how can you not want someone that literally looks like one of those wooden dolls you shoved your hand up to make them talk? I look like a discontinued member of the Playmobil family. How can you not get wood around me when I literally look like I made out of wood? So Jackson the sister um are talking with Brittany and she's like okay well I

went after after that under five whatever that. I went to this other bar with Logan and he told me last night he was sleeping with James and he didn't act like it was a secret. And Jackson's like, God damn his girlfriend is dumb as a sack of rocks. That was Jackson's best moment. He's like, he literally calls her dumb as rocks. Bob Brick, he's still sitting there after he's done all this shit again. And he goes, you can tell they're boning like it's on it. I mean, look at him. And then they show clips of them where it's like obvious they're boning. And Brittne goes, but he's saying,

Ricardo, you remember that you're talking to the man who just fucked me. Yeah. Things guys can, guys can lead secret lives. I just like that speculating about James and Logan is the one thing that brings all these people together. You know, it's like the first moment they are all laughing together is being like, God, that Rick L. She's dumb as rocks, isn't she? And they're like, ha ha ha ha. Like, we agree. And we don't even know what sparkling water is. Like hating on James brings every family together. It really does. Maybe that's what everybody should start talking about around the

Thanksgiving table every year in America instead of politics. Bring it back together families of America. Hello, this is Lisa Vanderpum. We are taking a commercial break now, but if you don't hear one don't worry, you're very lucky. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

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listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. GEE! So Vanderpump often breaks the bread. Katie comes in and starts literally breaking bread with her head so can't find her thoughts like look look at all the lives of bread I've got paper bags and bags full of bread oh look at Katie who's shown up out of nowhere sniff it Katie sniff it all right don't crawl into it where's Katie gone smells like being in a French market not that you would know you've never been in the

past Mississippi. Where's Gina? I'm gonna get her a croissant. Katie has literally entered her entire body and soul into Fagcacha. I want to cut the piece off, but I don't want to hurt Katie. My least favorite kind of journalism is Fukacho journalism. Sorry, it's a stupid. Peter, I would like some butter please. Here, I'm just going

to butter this slice of Frenchover and she's like, what's on earth are you going on about over there? Was it Sherry's braw? Because I couldn't stop looking at the teeth of it, but I didn't know what to say. Is that a thing? And he's like, you know, it was like totally disrespectful. What I did to Gina, but she goes, Why are you saying it like you're proud, Tom?

And he's like, Cos I thought you'd be happy I stood up for Katie. She goes for the first time. And I- Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Let me manhandle this bread for emphasis. Uhhh.

By the way, that bread, by the way, that bread looked from Markable. I want to know where she got it from because I really need to go that bakery. Yeah, I'd look to go. So she's like, all right, well, Katie, here's this chick. Stop writing numbers down on it. It's for you. Katie, welcome back from for Kotchaland. How was it there? Who's the mayor? Who's the mayor? Who's the mayor? Oh my gosh, I'm glad. Oh my gosh.

All right, KJ, you're done with those numbers. Guess what? Could that for you, Peter? Miss Direction. So they talk about Jack's a little. And then Vanderpump does her typical. Jack's Taylor will work any angle to get some. That's how he works

Jack Taylor full name jacks I E Jason Taylor Like why do you still employ this man you you're admitting that he's like manipulative he's evil He's got no standards. You've seen him still still booze from you. Why do you employ him? It's the only way I truly feel like Vandapump sangria flies off the shans. So Tom Schwartz starts theorizing about Jackson Brittany and why she's staying with him and he's like well it's like the sunken cos fallacy at which point I'm like whoa I can't believe that Tom knows this concept he's like yeah you know when you have too much invested to let go of something so you hold on to it until it sinks that's what's called, right? And then they just show you

some vanopompter staring at the two of them being eight. Are you sure you won't go down this path right now? Some cost about that. Now listen, Katie, when I gave you that audio book of who moved my cheese I told you not to pay to round Tom Schwartz. It's like a business book. This is some can cost cow fallacy. It's why I married Katie. Oh, all right. I get it now. So they go boxing and Guillermo's apparently a big boxer with his face. What the hell are you doing with your face? Yeah, his face is with my kid. I know his face is wig. I don't know. Yeah, I'm just going through it, but you know, though he's still with not the least so I'm happy. Yeah, he's still hot. Yeah. Um, are you? Could you please tell the listeners about Tom Tandeval's this week's moment of of Zen

with Tom Tandeval? Yeah, he's like, Hey, you wanna do some jump rope, bro? I got my own. Yeah, I jumped, cause I wrestled in high school. And like, people come up to me and they're like, challenge me to jump off. And like, I don't know what that's about. To this day, I've never lost.

I'm sure they come up and challenge you. You keep my fucking jump rope in your pocket. And you know he does. You know next time you see him, if you're like do you want to have a jump off? You wouldn't even say that he would he'd be like jump rope real got one in my pocket when I have a jump off Well, it's probably a girl coming up to me and it's like I want to be your jump off. He's like all right Here we go. No, no, I want to I want to sleep with you. No, do you want to jump off now? She's like never mind That's right. It's never caught cheating with anybody because he's literally doing jump off anytime someone

I try to hit on him. He just thinks it's a challenge to jump rope. Yeah Like that girl says I jumped her bones. No, I didn't I jumped her off. Okay. Like skippy skippy Mama's trippy, you know like duh. All right. Let me show you how to do it bro. You're doing it wrong You know, I can totally I totally believe that this is something that happens. Based on when we went to Walter and Katie's wedding, when Tom and I wound up in a swim across the swimming pool challenge with all underwater, and then he beat me, not only did he beat me, he's really good at challenges, but he also crashed into the wall and got a scar now from our underwater challenges.

So I see this totally out of the blue. He'll always challenge challenges. So I see this to me. He'll always challenge you. He'll challenge anybody to anything. He'll be like, whoa, look, here we are in a Costco sample platter. Who do you think can eat more samples? You do think can eat more samples. Me, are you?

All right, let's go. Dude, who do you think can unravel this papercloth faster? Dude, I'll do it. But I love how he rewards it to be. Everybody's just challenging me to jump rope. I love how he rewards it to be everybody's just challenging me to jump rope I have no idea. So basically this is just a scene for the guys to not have to shower again and go to talk shit. So James is there too. And he's like you know what was crazy about

Kei's potter? Okay street. Look where you do what are you going to try and convince people that suddenly you're from the poor streets? They've already known you for years, dude. Get your accent back. Yeah, so they're outside. They're talking to you about Kristen, like crazy, Kristen. She's back. She never left. People think she's gone. She never left. Good. And so it's just a loony. So, Jack's is like, so James, basically Logan has been telling people that you guys are sleeping together and James is like, well Logan would never say that. No, no, I don't think I would never say that. I'm like, it's sort of weird that his response was like, what? Instead of

what? Yeah. Logan would never say that. Yes. He's like, but Logan knows that I was asleep ten. Didn't he? He would never say that. Um, also the way that Jack tells the story. He's like, Logan, Logan went out with the sister and then he like started sobbing in the car. He was like, sobbing, like, then cutting his thighs and like, sobbing, like, he tried to jump out of the car. She was like, get back in here. What's going on? He like, couldn't take it. So like, he's tried to hang himself, like with the pine, the pine com freshener and the front seat. Like, Jack, where did you get all these details? Cause I don't think this is the story you heard, dude.

Yeah, and so James is like, yes, I have a girlfriend. I'm very straight and I'm very much in love with her cause I'm super straight. Good. And when I say good, I mean like, selective girl, not like, hey girl. He's like, I'm not gonna sit here and say how much I like pussy

Everyone knows from Lauren Gomez to blah blah blah. I love that he's the second person now to name every horror hostess That's been on the show, you know and he goes on James fucking Kennedy and then Tom number two goes There's a 77% chance as penis has been in Logan's mouth percent chance as penis has been in Logan's mouth. So the restaurant Peter's like, Brit me because these people don't actually work. You know, she's like, Hi, it's me, where am I? He's like at Sir. No.

I'm gonna get some hooters. Yeah, where am I? He's like, okay, I'm gonna have you work on the patio. I was, oh, Fui, have you work on the patio. Oh, Fui! I wanted to work the pink room. That's my favorite! He's like, you're gonna have to fight Kristen over it. Or Katie for it.

She's like, no way! I learned from my ranch. You never win with that girl. So Stasi and Kristen come in. They're like, It's weird seeing these girls be so nice to law law all of a sudden. I know. What Ariana says, to charity say this or just she say it later. Maybe. I don't know. I think she said at one point, she's like, look, if I wanted to be a really believing person, I'd say, sure, Katie's just over there being nice to law law because she's turned

over a new leaf. But the like that's the real. She's doing it because she's a total bitch. She got a terrible reputation last season. Now she's doing damage control and trying to be nice to one of the most popular people on the show. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, which is a good call. It is a good call.

That's true. So yeah, Sastasi and Kristen show up and they sit in Brittany's section. And then like, Brittany goes over there and then immediately, Stasi just turns, and then goes, um, Logan. And then, then like a Brittany basically launches into the story of Logan and Jan. So I just, but I just love the way Stasi doesn't even say, so I heard there was some story about Logan or whatever she's just, um, Logan.

Filmeon a f full mom. Oh yeah. Yeah. Man, it's a true story. She's like, then they were in a car and then the neighbor driver was like, you guys look so cute. Everyone has such a different version of the story. Um, but basically, they, she gets it out. And Lala is like, um, have I been in a situation where I think Logan wants more? Yes. Does Lala need her mama? Yes. Where those menus white down before you got them at your table from me? No, but this

isn't really my job. And then Kristen is like, do I think that James wants to do guys all the time? No. Do I think James is waiting in the penis pod? Yes. Is anybody else gonna ask themselves a question? Like, can you form a thought that's not yourself asking yourself a question?

Come on. And have we really thought about what a penis pond looks like? Because it's kind of disturbing if you think about it There's a big pond of penises. I think if anybody knows it would be Christian So we go over to James and Raquel who are at some sort of wine place called like the mixing bar and God what a place to go to when your boyfriend might be by section It's like what percentage of carbonate you want in your penis in vagina? So we really like this one, yay.

It really sort of goes both ways. It's a little sweet, it's a little spicy. You know, it's perfect for everyone. This is delicious. Just don't tell anyone I liked it. She's like, oh, this makes total sense. Excuse me. So, Malay, do you mind calling me tomorrow

to tell everyone how much I disliked this one? Thank you very much. Tell people that I was asleep when I drank it. Thank you, thank you, but it is delicious. So, Raquel, who really is one of the dumbest people in the world and the green contacts aren't helping. And that's on Vanderbump. If you are one of the dumbest people on Vanderbump rules,

like if you are, I think you are, she actually qualifies as the dumbest one And this is a show that has Brittany on it and others. Yeah, you know, you're not doing so well. Yeah, sad. She goes Are you here? Look okay Okay, so he's like no, I'm not here. I'm in shock. I feel so weird He goes how do you feel she's like I feel uncomfortable the. He goes, how do you feel? She's like, I feel uncomfortable.

The whole thing tells you like everyone said they're fucking my boyfriend. But it's like the whole world is claiming to have sex with James Kennedy. And then does he say the whole world wants to have sex with James Kennedy? Something like that. Oh James, what the fuck? Kennedy girl. I find Tariot, it in the dog parks while the thing He's like Raquel let me explain everything okay. Oh look I Glass I'm gonna distraction fast enough. I'm like she's so dumb and I'm like

She's like you turned green. He's like those your contacts. Yeah. Oh, yeah So he's like so Jack's goes to dinner lunch with sister in the mom for his apology stuff the way he was like Sparkling or flat and the sister goes um Swat water She goes I've never had sparkling water. And Jackson goes, it has bubbles and she says, I didn't know it was called that. He has, it's just soda water. She's like, oh, why don't they just call it that then?

He's like, oh, he does this thing with his hand. He's like, I can't believe I have to say here with these idiots. So then he does like the most perfunctory apology tour, you know, where he starts saying, he's like, you know, I'm like, I'm like really, you know, I was kind of garbage, but I'm like really glad that Chris and Brett

you guys in, it was really good. And then it's like custom interview being like, I was not glad at all, you know? And he's like, I don't wanna go into details about every little thing. She's like, well, I made the tale of Jax. And he's like, well, you know, I'm not perfect, and I'm not gonna sit here and harp on your daughter.

But it's like, she eats. She eats and she sleeps all day. And then she eats and then she sleeps all day, you know? And so I fucked faith in some old lady's house. Like duh, it was only a tiny- But I love the way Brittany looks. But I love the way Brittany looks. It's not about the way she looks.

She looks great. She sleeps and she's lazy. But I'm not gonna bag on her. It's a little slow. She doesn't get me hooters, you know. She doesn't make me ham and she sandwich. I'm not gonna bag on her. She looks great. But it wasn't about the act, it wasn't about the act, it was just like, I don't know, it's just what I do, you know?

And they're like, what an asshole, only Jacks would be like, you know, I cheated on your daughter because it was her fault. So you're paying for the lunch, right? And Sherry only had one good moment here because he's like, you know, she just sleeps until one and then like eats and sleeps and then Sher is like, well, what do you do with your time? He's like, well, you know, jerk off, find other people to have sex with, jerk off some more on faith. Yeah. We've already found out that it wasn't only one time. So he's still fucking lying. And Sherry pretending to be a good mother is like, oh, he don't like him. Say, he's like, I don't. I'm'm selfish terrible person. Oh

Remember when you did things like for my son Yeah, I gave you second chance and I love you. Here's your 19 second chance Yeah, they'll did fuck you Kristen. Yeah, he knows exactly what to do. He knows exactly what to say Which is like take full on a terrible person. I'm an awful guy. I'm worthless. I don't even like myself. I hate myself. I don't, I'm like, no, don't hate your sales, Jacks. No, no, no. Oh, see, now this is the thing. He only does this thing,

cause he doesn't feel like he's good enough for you. He's not. You know, sometimes you just listen. Listen to my answer, okay? People tell you who they are in the first five seconds. Listen to them, they are not lying. Yeah. And so then the next day when Sherry is packing up to leave, she tells Brittany, like, you know, the good thing is that Jack's can admit that he's an awful human being,

and that's why I'm willing to give him another chance. And I think you should do, because he can admit it. I'm like, who the fuck cares if he can admit it? He's got to change himself, and he's never going to. I love that he doesn't even pretend this season because he used to pretend memories. I come really gonna change and this and that. And they got to him and he goes, yeah, Kristen, your plan didn't work.

I won. She's such an asshole. So over at Britney's house, James comes over and has to hear from the sister, her version of the story. She tells pretty much the same version. And she's like, and he just said, welcome to Hollywood. And James goes, what a great... What a great...

He's a great... He's a weird uh-oh. Yeah, but Dan's like, do we eat? We eat, we eat. Welcome to Hollywood. Doesn't he know the break room is in Koreatown? Oh, he's a liar. He's a liar. So, like, you know, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna call him girl. I'm calling right now. Don't say anything. I don't want him to know that you're here. I'm like, well, you're putting it on speakerphone and they're snickering and I'm sure he can hear the sound of the

Frito bags, you know, crackling. So, he put, they cut, James calls up Logan and he opens up the phone call being like, opens up the phone call being like, so girl, what's it you say? You say you're sleeping with me girl? Like welcome to Hollywood girl. And Logan's like, it's a lie. I'm just a jealous bitch. I'm in love with you. I was all alike as I'm a jealous bitch.

James is like, you're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit and hangs up. But I love that they had already fought about it. Because he said you also said, the Hollywood? Yeah, so they'd already had the conversation. It's obvious's obvious that Logan's like okay I'll take it back. Yeah that's the thing like I actually did not think James was gay but this conversation is what made me think it because you would think his you know you would think that the

fight would be like you think there'd be, like you think there'd be more shock, you think there'd be more surprise. It was more like, okay, I will say this stuff, I am going to take it all back on camera so that your reputation is saved. Like it felt a little too, it felt a little too pre-arranged for me by James. Yeah, I don't know, who knows about this? Everybody's sexuality is so crazy now

i can't even tell but i do know that maybe he does not want to hook up with james all the time but sometimes has and yeah just as a one-of-a-kind no because he doesn't want to be the gay one at work if he doesn't want to be gay which i support yeah i don't really give a shit he should just listen have rakell have low again but don't you don't re-tell unless she's cool that

yeah but that said you know you can't if you're hanging out with a guy who says straight up, I'm in love with you and you're in love with me. And then on camera is making jokes about the cum stains on your carpet and basically outing you, left and right, and then trying to make out with you on camera and stuff like that. He's gross, Logan, but also be like you're kind of leading somebody on, dude. I mean, I know it's Logan and he's gross and everything. But still, you're leading him on, and that's not cool either. You can't just take somebody who you know is in love with you. Yeah, I just keep leading them on and then saying, okay, it's because I'm not guy.

Well, you're gay enough to be with Logan all day every day kissing him and getting your ears made that way. So stop leading him on dude. So then James starts to sniffle and sort of cry and talk about how he's just lost a friend and he's just like no one's a fucking friend in his town, no one. And then girls are just saying they're going sorry and they don't even, they don't get up to hug him or anything. He just walks out like, bye. I'm like, yeah, good friends right there.

They're like, yeah, it's true. No one's a real friend here. Ba Kau ba. They like they don't be like, oh James like we're sorry you lost your best friend. There's like no sympathy. They're like sorry Yeah, it was and I am laughing but I felt for James kind of well I don't know when I feel for James. I really do. I don't believe that he can fake cry Do you I do believe you can I do of course he can I don't I don't feel for James in this situation Because To me it felt like a show. I'm not saying he's necessarily gay

But it felt like this he was trying trying to say a face in some way. Yeah, I mean, too. And then he just, because it was also quick, they even said it was quick, because he comes in, he has the conversation and then he leaves and even Jackson's like, whoa, it's done already. Like, I don't think, if it was like a real thing, it was a real, you know, like heart breaking, like I just lost my friend, that shit would not be a five minute phone call and then you leave the apartment. That would be like, you sit there, you would talk, I don't know.

So I just liked, so he leaves, Jack's like, well, that was quick. Jack's went off to the store or something. And then it's time for Tiffany to leave. And I love this. Bernie is like hugging Tiffany goodbyes. I was like, I love you. I miss you so much. And Tiffany is holding a floppy piece of string cheese the entire time.

She's like holding it. It's like getting in Tiffany's hair, which is like, I love you, but I don't love you enough to put down this cheese right now. Well, you know, that's how Britney shows her love. Yes. And that's pretty much it, yeah. Yeah. Well, it ends with basically Britney deciding that forgiveness is the best decision.

And there's a close up of Brittany and Jackson kissing. And then next week, Kevin Lee calls Katie fat. And then, and then Jackson goes back to that raky hoe. And he's like, you know, call me Jason. She's like, okay, Jason and hugs him. So now he's not only going to cheat on Brittany. He's going to do it on call me Jason. She's like, okay, Jason and hug Sam. So now he's not only gonna cheat on Britney. He's gonna do it on camera with some Ricky. With Ricky. Oh my God.

I think you're gonna get a terrible fucking human being. So good. Thank you for doing it all on TV for us, Jacks. You're a terrible human being, but you are the most, you are the most generous person on this show for giving us just lots of content. Oh my God. All right, everyone. person on this show, for giving us just lots of content. Alright everyone, we love this show, we love you, come to our shows, watch crabins.com. We're going to be back tomorrow to talk to them.

Real housewives of Beverly Hills, darling. Darling, we'll see you then. So long, farewell, I'll be just seen. Goodbye, darling. I'll see you then. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.