Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Off the Cyst Male Brandwagon

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

On this week's Vanderpump Rules, Sandoval throws Ariana a birthday party and the Toms fight with Katie (more) and decide to take a break. This week's premium bonus is a recap of Selling Sunset. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, welcome to Watch What Corrupt and the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeoproves.

I'm Ronnie, guess I'm with. Then talented, gorgeous, and now a year older, Mr. Ben Mantelker, hello Ben. Hi Ronnie, what's going on? How are you, Pookie, Pookie Poo? Pookie Pookie, I'm doing so well. You know, you mentioned that I'm a year older, so my brother was at the top of the month, but his birthday is today.

Who's only Miss Baby Gorgeously, Sibarlo. And I know that's, I know if he's Sibarlo's birthday, because I just went on Twitter, and I, you know how like Twitter will show you, like people that you don't necessarily follow but will show their responses and I just saw Grinder was like happy birthday baby garages to Lisa Barlow and I was like this is a great way to start the day Just grind or wishing Lisa Barlow a happy birthday. Yeah, I like it. They're like you know what she supports people So let's say happy birthday from a gay fuck up

So you guys hello, hello, hello We are going on tour next month. So please come join us. We want all our baby gorgeous is there So if you're a baby gorgeous come join us on the road We start in New York at the crappies our 10 year anniversary show. And then we're just going everywhere guys because our 10 year hunky dory tour. So come join us because everyone was baby gorgeous

when you are when you're at a crappin show. Am I right Ronnie? Oh yes, we're all gorgeous. You're all baby gorgeous. Yeah, we're super excited to do that. We're starting off in New York City in January. We're going to 21 places. So go to watch itcrapins.com for your tickets.

Also, be sure to join us on Monday nights at 7pm Pacific and 10pm Eastern for take a seat. It's our show on the green room app, which is by Spotify. It's live. It's super fun. We all talk and laugh. You guys talk with us. You come up and talk. You talk to each other in this big chat room and we have a great, great time. And I have to say that this week may have been the best one that we've ever had because since it is the holidays we decided to crowdsource a bravo version of the 12 days of Christmas.

And we spent the hour kind of like building the song with people. And it's hard to describe, but we really recommend you go check that out on demand because if you missed it because it was really, it was really very special. Yeah. So thanks for having us over there Spotify. And also crap on some demand. That's our videos. So go watch our video recaps. We do a couple a week. This week we did Salt Lake City and we're going to do the Miami trailer this week. Real Housewives of Miami returning. So go join us for

that. Okay, that's a patreon. Find all those links at watchwetcrapons.com and as always thank you for your support thank you for being here and we're really excited to present you a mad cop episode basically of Tom and Katie fighting so. Word Tom and Katie fighting. Which I like I said before I actually think that the this is an interesting I think it's an interesting dilemma you know I think it's just some of the stuff that's around it like Lala interviewing a personal assistant that's like

less compelling televised content yeah but you know I love a good Lala sit down scene where she's like I have have earned everything I have. You know, I love a good scene like that from the laws. Yeah. I get some laws from the laws. Okay. Well, it's one. And I do find myself saying things from the season oddly enough, like my niece was being a little brat and I said,

you know what, get off, get on the shorts and sandy train or get off. That's a good one to incorporate into repertoire, just to say it to random people. Go to the math. I went to the movies last night and I wanted to shush some people and if I had to realize that I could have just said, dude, get on the shorts and Sandy Train or get off. I would have probably so alarmed them with the bizarre nurse of that, they just would have left the theater. Yeah.

Oh gosh. Yeah. Oh gosh. Okay. So let's get, you're not going to keep me down. You're never going to get me down because I am unstoppable. Thank you, Trixi Monacoel. Yeah. Well, what an empowering anthem to start this show.

It really is. And nothing says unstoppable, like watching Requel making cupcakes. I'm unstoppable cupcakes. Yeah, this is one of those, oh my god, we're in such a happy couple of scenes. She's making cupcakes and he's being like, Hey, look at you, making cupcakes, you're such a pro. Wow, you can make cupcakes. This is amazing.

I'd much rather be here with you than out drinking with everybody. I mean, it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, drink, drink, drink, drink a half-bottie year I am with you than out drinking with everybody. I mean it's Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday drink drink drink Half-bottie a Ryan with you. This is much better Yeah, he's really trying to convince us and himself that he's having a much better time like training the dog to sit down and watch and Rekel poor Duncan hides into molds, you know, so then he's like He's like, yeah, everyone's over. You know, why don't want to be there with all those drunk people? You know, been to three events this week already. I'm tired. And then we go, we see like what's happening at Tom Tom Which is that basically the rest of the cast is just doing shots. Yeah, they're like,

and then Rekel's like, you know what I've been thinking lately. No more folks in the electrical Sockets recount. Now he figured that one out. I'm just thinking it would be fun to get our friends and family together to celebrate our engagement. Did you not just hear him? He's like, wow, isn't it nice not going after to party, after party? She's like, you want to throw a party? What part of like a $25,000 Coachella experience is not an engagement party? You get all your friends.

You're an engagement party really. Everyone who was going to be at this new one was at that one. Please tell me you're not going to Palm Springs again for this. Yeah, please tell me you're going to start an engagement. Go fund me to pay sound to wall back for that ridiculous party. You think? No, I suspect that they're going to go to like the Redwoods or something or Napa. I think they're just going to follow the Shah's trajectory.

Yeah. Nothing, nothing says getting married to James like being surrounded by a bunch of dead animal heads. Yeah. So, yeah. So she wants to do, to basically do this party outside of LA. And then she takes like some frosting and puts it on James's nose in like a moment of sweet silliness.

And he's like, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, no, not the frosting on the nose, we're counting. We don't have noses to look at for you while you're touching mine. We're counting.

So then we go over to Tom Tom with. She's now, Ariana and Lala are talking. And she's like, oh my god, that doesn't happen. You're running more over there in the balls. And Lala's like, now I've got to over at an area. And I was like, what are you guys talking about with your nipples? And Lala says, feels like race are blades are coming out of your

tats. That's how I feel sometimes when I watch Lala scenes. So, um, so then Tom leans over to Lala and he's like, Hey, Lala, keep this on the DL, but like, we're going to do a surprise thing for Ariana at man cap. Is she looking? Can she hear me speaking? It's like Tom, you're speaking into Ariana's ear right now.

Dude, God, I messed it up. I really branded that one badly. Dude, he's like, I'm gonna text you. You're gonna come check, oh great, but is it themed? Cause I suck at that. He's like, no, not this time. So then the twerking waiter is there twerking, you know? Yeah, some shaking that thing.

Claping those ass cheeks all over the place. Which, you know what? Congratulations on twerking on the Instagram. He's a champ, yeah. But you're serving me food. You know what I mean? I don't want to hear your butt, your butt cheeks clapping. Well, either way, sand of all polls, Katie, to the side.

Because he's like, I want to check in with you. And I'm not just saying that because we're doing something that the mad capo tell, I want to check in with you. And I'm not just saying that because we're doing something that the mad capo tell we need to check in. So Katie's like, haven't I heard it enough? So Tom Sandivall, who famously was deeply traumatized by Stasi yelling in a medispar at his bar, pulls Katie aside at the bar so he can ultimately yell at her. Yeah, well, he just keeps doing it over and over with just funny.

Yeah. Cause she gets him every time. He tries to start calm and then by the end he's yelling. So he's like, so I wanted to check in with you. Cause that situation at your house just got hectic. And yes, you know, I love a Rubik's cube that you can only get on Amazon. Oh, damn it. Sorry, sorry, I was working on my branding

bear. Uh, listen, uh, my goal is to create a situation where we're not only hanging out and having fun, but we're also making money and getting to that next level. Like, I'm not just playing the trumpet at home. I'm playing it in a bar. I own a couple of percentage points in. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. Like when everything was shut down, I helped create these revenue streams, like business opportunities, that sort of revenue stream is. You know what a stream is?

It's the thing that Tom's, you know, swam in right before your vows. So I want to, I turn these revenue streams and turn a friendship into a brand and I work my ass off for that. It's just like, okay. Okay. You're like, okay. Okay. You're like, well, I've been really dedicated

and I really care Katie. And I'm not saying that Tom Schwartz doesn't care, but like at times like I have to deal with Schwartz's insecurity and that's why sometimes like I'm a little extra or a little pushy, you know, pushing it and pushing it, but it's just because I'm always pushing it to that next level Amazon Prime $120 a year free delivery all year long And Katie is like I see it from a different perspective. I mean

You think your ideas are better than Owen Elsies and I'm protecting his interest and I'm trying to have his back And trying to be a voice that maybe he wasn't able to have for you. So now Ronnie at this point Sorry, but Amazon enough enough Amazon stop. Oh, did you? Something I said the word and she came on with a freaking monologue. Did you hear that? It's like the amgina monologue. Like, I don't need to hear all of this. She's like, well, speaking of Amazon, I guess. Katie, come on, of like trying to like get things going here and Tom is just Tom, right?

And she's saying, you know, you don't listen to his ideas. But I feel like for what we've seen, Tom hasn't had any ideas. Katie's the one who's had ideas. He's been like, you should say this. And then Tom doesn't say it. And then Katie's like, you get steamrolled, but it's really her idea.

I mean, I feel like there's like a lot of toxicity amongst these three and how they operate a business. Yes, saying the least, right? I think that he is trying to say, listen, I'm sorry that I lose it, but I'm working really hard getting us all of these deals. So when you're acting like this, like I deserve respect to, like I'm bringing money into your household. And I think it's Amazon deal. I get us all these appearance gigs that like maybe they're just offered to me, but then I bring him along and make it like a Tom Tom thing, you know So I'm taking what we were given and making it into something better and you're treating me like shit

When I'm bringing money into your household and I don't think that's fair I think that's what he's trying to say but I mean, I think that is I think that he actually says it pretty well Believe it or not. I think he says it, and I think he's actually totally validated in saying that. I think it's totally fine from to basically say, hey, you're acting as if I'm steamrolling, I'm not steamrolling, I'm actually just doing work and shorts is doing nothing, right?

And like, you're, and like what does, what has he, the only thing he's really, the shorts is really said is that he doesn't love shorts and sandies. That's been like the only thing that I've been able to discern. And he was not very authoritative about that. And since then, he sort of just sits passively in the back and lets Katie jump in and then has his best friend yelling at his wife and vice versa.

And I don't know. I think I really understand. I understand both of their frustrations, to be honest. Yeah, I think the moral of this story is Tom Schwart-Sex. Okay, he sucks as a partner, and he sucks as a marriage partner. You guys need to get rid of fucking Tom Schwart. It's both of you.

Get rid of him, kind of lose. Yeah, because he's, I think he's saying that fucking guy does. He's putting Katie in his position where she feels like she has to go like, soup in, I think that he gives her like bread crumbs that are like, oh, well, I had this idea, but it's cool, he knows what he's doing,

and then she's like, what the fuck, you guys stand up for yourself. So she's like, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna have your back. And like, maybe he didn't really even need that in the first place, he didn't want that, I don't know. So they are doing it the other way too, he's doing it the other direction too,

he's going to sound of all him being like, well, you know, Katie, it's like, you know, she does this and she does that and she really doesn't like the name. And then and and so he gets Tom all worked up about Katie. The comment denominator problem here is short. It's hot. Yes. Comment denominator is shorts. Yes. He always tells the other one like any time he doesn't do something like what he really should be doing he kind of blames it on the other person to the other person So yeah, it's always like well I'm seeing it from a different perspective like you think you're the only person with good ideas like

I'm trying to protect his interest. I'm trying to have his back I'm trying to be a voice that maybe he doesn't have he's like I'm trying to have his back. I'm trying to be a voice that maybe he doesn't have he's like well And she's like I'm feeling like you're trying to make it seem like I'm making this shit up Okay, I knew this would happen because she was that's the thing you knew was gonna happen because you're a no at all basically It's a good like gotcha moment for her, but at the same time, she's also very predictable. It's not at all. She's so lame and he's lame in this situation too. It's like neither one of them

are even arguing about what the original argument is, which is I'm working hard, but I'm working hard for all of us and I feel like, you know, I get frustrated when you come in there and act like I'm not doing anything when I'm doing all of this stuff, right? So he's not even on that anymore. Now it's all about Tom again. And then Katie's like, the poor Tom just needs a voice and protecting his interest. Like shut up, Katie. You know, you're just mad because your ideas aren't being listened to in a business that is not your business. Yeah. Which by the way, she's mad mainly because Tom Schwartz said that he was

going to do some sort of business thing with her first and he didn't. So now she's feeling extra left out and extra kind of like what place do I have in this situation. So again, I actually almost blamed that on Schwartz again. So Sandevol is like, so she's like Katie, you know, Katie says like listen to my husband's ideas and he goes, I do of All is like, so she's like, Katie, you know, Katie says, like, listen to my husband's ideas. And he goes, I do! But sometimes, like, way the fuck more than you do. And like, how much money have I brought

into your fucking household? Okay, I work my fucking ass off to create business opportunities for both of us. And so then that sets her off even more. And she's like, oh, really? How much money have you brought into my household? Well, I mean, I don't know, but I would say, did shorts get any of these deals

that they're talking about? Yeah, like, did he? He's not? Yeah, and so like, he's like, I made you 20 grand. And she goes, where? He goes, Amazon, club appearances, guess what? Have another 15 grand coming in at the end of this week for your household.

Plus, getting shorts, a really cool sequin blazer club appearances, guess what? Have another 15 grand coming in at the end of this week for your household, plus getting shorts a really cool, sequin blazer that we're going to wear together to go shopping at the villains for another cocktail tasting that we're going to do over the course of six more episodes of this show. And she's like, he makes his own money to not take credit for the work he does. And he's like, you ask like, I need to be the center of attention. She's like, you do. And he's like, I'm literally, I need to be the center of attention. She's like, you do. And he's like, I'm literally trying to be part of a duo here.

And I want to do it to be part of the center of attention. By the way, Katie, he's not saying that he makes all the money. He's just saying like, look, like I've been doing, like you're acting like I just steamroll and I'm just doing it for myself. But look, I'm bringing it's like for all of us. Right. You know, and I'm not really a Katie fan, so I know that I am partial, like I get it,

but I just look at it as I'm saying, listen, you're being a fucking bitch to me and I'm paying your bills. Like all of the money that you're paying your bills with are coming from work that I do. And even if I do it with your husband, we're earning that many together. You should have some fucking respect for me too. Yeah, and I, well, and I just take it a little bit less of, I don't take it as much as like,

I'm paying your bills, because that's how Katie is taking it. I take it as more like him saying, you're saying I don't listen to any ideas, but I do, and I'm actually working hard and you're acting like, oh, my ideas are just crazy and like you're acting like oh my ideas are just like Crazy and that they that we need Tom shorts as ideas, but I'm actually like because of me. We all have more money now Yeah, and he's like, but I know I have my own ideas heard all the time I mean look we're duo. That's why we wear the same outfits with Tom and Tom and she's like it's creepy Tom It's creepy you have a little puppet and just because you dress him up like a little Barbie doll

And put put him in a side car Okay, well he's in a side car because he doesn't know how to fucking ride a motorcycle And that was three years later and he still hasn't learned to ride a fucking motorcycle So you're kind of proving my point here. It's like that real effort like he doesn't even have to put the effort into driving Kati making fun of like them dressing up and weren't doing that side car. I mean, she is moving the needle towards her a little bit on that front. I'm like, well, she is sort of voicing what we've been voicing. I'm glad it has like finally been acknowledged that this is like a super annoying

chick that the Tom's have. Yeah, but but her blaming him for that. It's like, okay, your man just has no agency You know he has no he has no agency and so then he's so sand I was like I build people up I praise them. I do that to Schwartz. You're not gonna fucking see it. I give that guy fucking hugs I fucking love that guy. We hold on one second. Sure. Let's get over here. See I don't even boss him around Okay, I'm giving you a hug see I just I just hugged him. Get out of here. See? I like them. They show the clip of Tom Sandevolg giving him, you know, presenting him with the motorcycle stuff.

Gloves. I love gloves. Gargles. I love goggles. I know. I mean, this guy is like the example of failing upwards, right? So Katie is like, I'm not saying you don't love people. I'm not saying you don't support people. I'm just saying you have a fucking ego problem. Son of you, Katie. She's like, you're too much. So she gets up and walks off. And I just put their both right on that one, you know?

That, yeah, they both have egos right now. Yeah, my God. Katie, Jesus. Anton, both of you shut up already. This is too much. What episode is this? 10. Let me look.

This episode is like 11 or something. I mean, again, I think that this, I think this is actually compelling content, but I think that like it feels like, oh my God, again, because it's been drawn out. They, I think that there's a showrunner issue on vanopompers rules at the moment. And I think what they needed to do, or that there's a showrunner issue on Vanopomp rules at the moment. And I think what they needed to do,

or maybe it's also a Bravo issue where they ordered too many episodes, because if we had condensed this, and we'd seen some of these clashes within one episode, I think you could have had a much more urgent feeling series, but instead, it's like, okay, now we gotta wait for their next fight.

Yeah, this is a three episode arc, not an 11 episode arc, okay? I'm not a season arc. like, okay, we got to wait for their next fight. Yeah, this is a three episode arc, not an 11 episode arc. Okay, not a season arc. So seven episodes, but then this season ends. Right. So Katie goes up to Schwartz and she's like, he's like, what is it? And she's like, he's a fucking asshole. He's just a fucking asshole. She's like, whoa, but why, babe? And she's like, he's a patronizing fucking asshole. And then we see a shot of Glenn Close watching and laughing at the bar. I don't know what she was doing there, but it's like,

wow, even Glenn Close watches this crap. She's just shadowing, you know? She's shadowing, she's getting into character for her next role. She's gonna be playing Mesa Pandrupump in some sort of like FX show. So, um, uh, short second, oh, I thought you guys were getting along. Honey, she goes, no, we're never getting along. And Tana, I was like, well, I'm so egotistical, Katie. I made

you 20 grand. Yeah, she is. Yeah, Tom. And I'm egotistical too. God, I thought I was the one with the egotistical problem. And I was like, no, you said that to him. Where are you making it sound like he said it to you? I know. So then, so Tom is like, well, I made the 20 grand. And Katie's like, he wants to take credit for all of the money that he makes in our household. Because apparently you don't make any money.

Only he makes money. And so it goes, are you time? And then Ariana. Like Ariana and La La are both listening. They're like on either side of them listening. And Ariana just gives a horrified look. You know, like, oh Jesus, you really suck. Like God. Yeah, you suck.

Because then, well, first of all, the thing is that like what has Shorz brought in money? I'm sure he makes some appearances too, but instead of having his wife's back in this moment, he's like, are you John? Honey, you're making a scene, which is like the most condescending thing, partner can say to someone, to their partner.

And he's like, let's go out to Tom Tom. You're making a scene, let's go. It's just so obnoxious. And I don't know if I'm really on Katie's side in her fight with Sandivall, but I'm 100% on her side with the way that Schwartz is treating her in this moment. So he's like, well mediating between these two is getting to the point where it's killing me inside. And it's just like getting me to the point where I just want to throw my hands up and I want to walk

away. Then do it. Fucking go. You worse. You useless dish rag of a human being go. He's like, you guys said you're over this and work through this shit. And she goes, well, we haven't talked to anything and we don't get along. And I think he's an egotistical maniac. Some Katie English. And he's like, no, he's not an egotistical maniac, which actually you could shorten by just saying egotomaniac, ego maniac, you know. Yes he is, Tom.

You know, you don't agree with me. You just want to agree with him. You just always want to agree with him. Never be. And so Lala weighs in with a take that I actually am not totally mad at. She basically says that sand of all is like the other woman in their relationship.

And you know, she's like, you know, relationships get hard and you know, sometimes there's like another woman. Maybe she's a Nashville. Maybe she has your man's phone number, and your man's texting him. You know how it goes. And Schwarze is basically with his other woman, and where it's easy and then he can just like, you know,

put out lights and have cocktails. And like, manifest shit. And back to Katie, she's like, yeah, I had a listen to talk about how amazing he is is and how much money he made. So of course, Katie's going to give the Katie version of the story, right? Which is, yeah, that's not really what, that's not what he wasn't saying how amazing he was. He was saying, I'm working hard and you're making it sound like I'm just off in my own Lala land and even being reined in by Schwartz. And Schwartz goes, well, did he say that? Or is that how you interpreted it?

She goes, oh, are you gonna gaslight me now? You're gonna gaslight me? Oh my God, Katie, long tradition of not knowing what the fuck gaslighting means. Yeah, and well, on top of that, I mean, it's funny because like she did interpret it incorrectly, but like he just so does not have her back regardless. And he's like, no, honey, no, I don't even know what gas is or a light.

What are lights? And she goes, you're going to gaslight me. She says it again. And he goes, oh, man, I can't have many more days where Katie and Tom are clashing. Oh, man. And she's like, well, then fine. I guess I'll just sit over here like hang out. Oh, good job.

Get a job. Get a live do something. Drive Uber. Drive Uber. OK. So he's like, honey, don't cry, honey. And she's like, I'm really, really tired. And so he tells us, I know I have an issue with like

writing the fence, but the point is they both have valid points sometimes, you know? And so Katie's telling Lala that Schwartz just doesn't understand the difference between a business and a marriage and and And Santa Claus like um Katie, I apologize and it went down that way. She's fuck off Yeah, she just walks off. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yet. So then we go over to Shisha. Yeah, Shisha. So she's just gotten boxes of his product and he's like, all right, depending on the inflows

are if they want to promote it, we'll send them pants and a sheet. All right. And she's just talking about how Brock started this business all by himself and she goes, he has a tenacity and will not quit. Like she, you know, again, really think about your words in the context of the accusations that have been brought up about him. It's seriously. Oh.

I just want to say we'd have another, another, I wish he had another child, the perseverance so we could name our next child tenacity So they're perfect for this photo shoot and Rock is just a I'm sorry. I just I'm on a homebody thing so Guys, they're talking about logo and how good it he is at and all of this. So I looked up Homebody Fitness, okay? So there was a Homebody Fitness equipment, which was kind of a scam company, okay? Then there's Homebody Fitness on Instagram, scam. Then there's Homebodies by Marie, Homework Outside.

Then there's Team Homebodies by Nate and Remi. Then there's Homebody Fitness by Nate. Then there's Homebody Live Fitness for trainers to monetize their business, and that's there. And then there's is HomeBodyLiveFitness.com created with Nicole Sophia and Brock. And it's a waitlist for Aprily's. And my only point is here, that's great. They have like a WordPress side up.

But seriously, there's 30 other home bodies already. What are you doing? It's too good of a name to not be taken by a legitimate corporation. You know, like I don't see how like he was the first market with that name. So he's preparing for this photo shoot and he's saying like, well, I didn't think I was just going to look from James and you know, Dylan has't think I was risking a lot from James. And, you know, Dylan asked me to pay you to be my friend. Hold on one second.

Hey, James, can you post five things for me and say, how's my body? Hashtag in the body, thanks. All right. So then, then Colin, and ask him for a favor, don't just ask, act entitled to it is what I wrote. He's still getting on my nerves.

I think he's so entitled. So he's well should we invite Charlie and Cory after you know, you know The thing you did with Charlie and she's like She's like she knew it Well she feels like I haven't really been a friend for the packs past six or seven months, but like sorry I just have like a baby in a one, I'm just going to say sorry and move on. Yeah. And then Brock, Brock is like, Oh, I don't know why he keeps saying sorry. It's not worth it. I like to say, just, well, if she feels hard by me, then her feelings are valid. What about you, fucking feelings? What about them? When you feel upset in the chest, fighting back, stop really that just pummel them raw in to the face like rock

Rock rock Come on get a work on your work on your words here grab their heads between your thoughts and squeeze them like a walnut at Christmas On get what I'm saying? So he's kind of like a man's planning to her on what to do and He's like tell him to kick rocks explaining to her on what to do. And he's like, tell him to kick rocks. All right? Because I don't think he'd be in wrong

wants in this conversation. Hear the noises, pissing the ranch. Shingah. That's like, maaah, maaah. I think I've just been right for these selfishness here. And I didn't want to hear him get some out of me. They need to like understand that.

He's like, yes, that's it. That's it. And she then says it's been a year since her miscarriage. And that talks about how she was just like scared shit was during the pregnancy. And I was afraid to get sick and I was like afraid to go to the home and I was afraid to leave that like that in the room and I was afraid to touch tin foil.

And I was afraid to touch macaroni and I was afraid of carbs, but I was always afraid of carbs. And I just was like afraid of so many things. I was afraid of being a bad friend, which is why I was actually such a good friend. During that time, even though I was so afraid of so many other things, I guess I was just afraid of everything.

Yeah, and I don't blame her. I mean, my God, miscarried straight into being pregnant during pandemic and being locked down. And then having the only person you're seeing being Brock, you know, and having to hear about the world through Brock's eyes, you know, not even know what he's saying half the time. Well, I went to die and I did a press pool on the, on the, on the pool uppity, you know, not even nobody's saying half the time. Well, I went today and I did a press pool on the, on the, on the pool uppity, you know, it's like he doesn't even use words right. Like, how are you supposed to live like that? Well, you know, they probably had so many arguments about the word Sheila.

Like, oh, my God, she's a real Sheila. Where's Sheila? Yeah, Sheila. I'm Sheila. No, you're Sheila, Sheila. I'm like, she know my Sheila. Yeah, Sheila, but you're also Shila. Well, which one is it, Brock? Well, what we love to say is it pretty girls. A Shila. Why not a Shila?

Why can't it be girl be a Shila? I just don't understand why I'm not a Shila. So, um, Lerosa, uh, Vanderpump's playing with one of her dogs and Katie comes over. She's like, oh, I didn't even hear the doorbell rings. I'm crept in. Thanks for saying me. Excuse you. You don't ring the doorbell at Velroza. Can you just walk into a mansion? You just do that. I didn't hear the doorbell, but I did see a sad little gray cloud floating in the living room. It's not raining on schmupy over here. I thought it was Pandora at first, but I didn't hear the calming

whoosh of a patch mean that passing. So they go up to Lisa's sitting room and and Lisa offers her to you and everything. And Katie doesn't, you know, she has Katie says that she doesn't like asking Lisa for her time, but Lisa understands the restaurant industry and she's officiated her marriage. So who else could she ask for advice from when the restaurant is putting a strain on her marriage? Well, probably, I mean, well, yes, Lisa's a great choice, but probably literally anyone. Yeah, anybody.

So they sit down, which is such a power for a Vanderpump to be like, oh Katie You're having troubles would you like to sit in the closet that you'll never ever come close to come on tell me about it so sitting down in her luxury closet and She's like so tell me what happened and Katie says well at Tom Tom Santa ball put me put pulled me aside and it went terribly, terribly bad. He talked about how great he was for 15 minutes. He tried to take credit for the sort of brand that they have and then said that he created

the whole thing. No, none of that. You're literally not in the liar. You are such a fucking liar. It's bad enough if you just told the truth. Like Tom Santa Ball acting that way, if you'd repeated exactly what he said, you still would have had people on your side.

But then you go and lie about it and you muddy the waters. Yeah, and so Lisa's like, um, that was me who created Tom, Tom. I gave it to the mother who edging. And so we see a brief flashback of that. And she said, Well, you said I want to have a baby.

And then you put it on hold. And the way I looked at it, you want to be involved in the restaurant, because in one way, it was your baby. Oh, God. But you don't want a baby with sand of all. That baby is taken. This is not your baby. Yeah.

Well, it's not her baby, but I think that she would just want some sort of form of like, let's do something together. I think she would just be happy going to IKEA and saying, can we spend the afternoon putting together a Billy bookcase? That's probably going for some. She needs an afternoon with a Florgen, you know? Just give her like a little Allen wrench and she's sad. That's really all she needs. You know, and part of me, you know, and I've said this before, but just just sitting in, you know, part of me is like, well, it is his wife, and if she's putting in money, then it is part of her restaurant, you know, especially if he's putting the house up and all this, but none of that is happening, right?

He didn't get the house blown and all or the mortgage and all of that. So shut up, Katie. So she's like, yeah, but now Santa Valls baby. And yeah, it was always there, baby. You're like a kidmapper crying that the police took the child from you, the kidmapped. I know. Quite like Holly Hunter in raising Arizona. So, so it took, so these are like, well, you know, I have to admit, it took me a while to love Santa, but surely worked for me for many years, but you know, he was very confrontational when we did. Tom Tom together, it took me a while to love him, unlike Jack, so I loved immediately, because he's so hard to find good bartenders, am I right? Anyway, shorts

was always the peacemaker between us. Man, Katie's like, but do you even think they're ready to own their own place? And she's like, no. But the fact that they're doing it with someone who's got a lot of experience and Katie rolls her eyes, like, right, like Katie's getting just what she wants, but you're hurting yourself.

Like, why are you insisting on going on national TV and cock-blocking the business that's supposedly gonna be bringing you income. You've done ass. I can't with her, I can't. Like I'm a fury. And I really thought this was gonna be the season that I liked Katie. I remember saying that in the preview. I remember seeing the trailer and being like, oh my god, I like Katie already. I'm gonna like her this season, I just sense it. Well, to be fair, we have stood up for Katie way more than we ever have in previous seasons. My Katie is, but like, calling it, saying like,

shut up, you dumbass, that is actually pretty mild for us, I think. So Lisa's like, well, you know, I don't think, Katie's like, do you think they're ready? And Lisa's like, no, but the fact that they're doing it with someone who's got a lot of experience, that's a different thing. Cause now they can be unprepared and also screwed out of money by the third person.

And then, and she goes, but I imagine that he's going to be frustrated if they just chase their own tails, which is what it looks like there. D-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W- what it looks like there. D-W-W-W-W! And Katie's like, well, yeah, Schwartz didn't want to hear what I had to say, and was like really defensive of Tom, and I was like, I know this is important to you, but I need to be equally as important to you. Equally as important, how about more important?

You're his wife, I would not let my husband have loyalty to another man over me. Did you remember Martin? Remember Martin? Where's he now? Good question. I don't know, but that's the point. The only person that can take on Sandoval is not you. It's Schwartz. Yeah, when she says the person that needs to be most important to Schwartz is you. And that's true, but she doesn't have to be the most important person to SantaVal. SantaVal doesn't have to entertain all of her nonsense. But he doesn't need to make y'all this friend's wife. I will give that to Katie. Okay, I'll give her. Yeah. I'll tell you something that none of us need. Whatever this Josh and Josh show is that I saw for a commercial for at this point in the show,

um, it was like, for a million dollar listing away, it's Josh and Josh. The Josh's are like hanging out together with their significant others and selling them houses on the side. I was like, please just burn this show up. No one wants this. The million dollar listings have gotten really bad. And then the spin offs are, what are you doing with these spin offs? I've tried to watch all of them because I watch the million dollar listings. I enjoy them most for the most part. But man, they've gotten really they're going really low. They had one while they were getting ready for this show. Like you could tell they're prepping the audience for this new spin off. And it's like, well, Josh, you're behind like walking around in the neighborhood together. You know, you're so smarmy about one Josh.

And then the other one, like plugs Josh, it's just like, Hey, Hey, Hey, tell me about that deal. You know, tell me about that deal. You got me else. Tell me about it. Like they're making a whole show with this. Who's going to watch this? It's like, I've got an idea. Let's take two on charismatic people and build a show around them and script it. So it's just terrible.

So I'll just watch Selling Sunset. That's Selling Sunset just blows it out the water. So now we're back here to now Tom is singing in a mirror, Tom Tandoval, and Ariana is just like watching him singing like, oh my god, I can't. Because that was a performance. Are you performing that at my party? He's like, oh, that's gonna be my wave of wave

up here for, man. Shikpa, I wish you told me you wanted to go to dinner first because now I'm gonna be in a party dress all day and it's gonna be awkward. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know what, it's a very nice restaurant and it's dimly lit so it feels like nighttime.

So they start, you know, he's putting on his makeup or whatever in the very nice restaurant, it's dimly lit. So it feels like nighttime. So they start, you know, he's putting on his makeup or whatever in the mirror. And he's like, last night was really his restaurant. So like, yeah, Tom, like it's at a point now where it's just like unfair for anyone to put it all on you. I get that, but it's like also unfair to put it all on Katie, okay? I mean, shorts was really rude to her last night.

He's like, he was? No, here's what I say about the old situation. Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's me, believe me. Do not sing that at my birthday. No, that's just a new deal, do you like it on for both of us, you know? So she says that,

so Ariana reports that Lala said that she thinks that there's more going on with shorts than Katie and that they should maybe even take a break as a couple, which surprise Ariana. But she's now thinking maybe there is something more going on. I'm like, yeah, how about look at their front door and how she barricaded it closed and he tore it through it drunkenly. Maybe that might be a good place to investigate. I'm completely shocked that this cast has not picked up on that. I made that a storyline. That's fucking crazy to me.

Like, that was like a mountain. He broke down the front door. Wow. Like, and the thing is that this guy is so passive. So the fact that he just turns into the coolid man when he's drunk. Like, that's something is up. He's not passive though, that's the thing. This is like all his act on the show. He's like, what? Like when he really turns on Katie, you see what an asshole he is, you know? That's why he makes me so crazy

because he's just such a fucking phony about it. So Mike, at least James is like Ragey, but then, you know, like he seems more real, you know, even if you can find a lot of fault there. He seems like he's kind of real, but. I do shorts just seems like a sociopath to me. Well, I think that Shorx is very much aware of his persona on camera.

And I think that James, James I think knows about his persona and I think he thinks he can control it, but he can't, but Shorx can control his persona. And that's why I think he thinks he can control it, but he can't, but shorts can control his persona. And that's why I think he's also less interesting because we're not, there's nothing really there that we're finding, right? He doesn't give us anything of note except just being passive and putting his friends against each other. So, Sam, he goes like, well, take a break.

That's terrible advice, which I agree. And Ariana's like, well, I mean, I guess there's something else going on that we don't know about because I thought Katie was like her bestie. So if Lala is saying about, if Lala is saying that about them needing to take a break, there must be something that Lala knows that I don't know. Hmm. So now everyone's getting dressed for this big Ariana party. And then we wind up at a place called the Mad Cap Hotel. And it's like an art installation with like different rooms.

And there's like actors and it's like cool. It's like a hotel, but like not a hotel. It's basically one of these like Instagram experiences. Well, these things that's built for you to take pictures in. So it goes on Instagram and it promotes it. And then people pay money to go in and take more photos to get other people to buy tickets to come take photos. So they go in.

It's basically like a rent fare for people in LA. It's like all these awkward actors being wacky and then you have to like play along with them the whole time. Unless you're gonna hand me a giant fucking turkey leg. Get the fuck out of my face with this. Yeah, like when they walk in, there's like a lady at the desk, and I knew she probably drove you absolutely not.

She goes, hi, welcome. My name is Sarah Sera, a concierge here at the Madcap Hotel. I was like, I can just see Ronnie just like, just wanted to throw a putting out of this. I did. It's like the worst improv team ever, you know? I'm Sarah Sera, I'm a wacky actor. He checking into the man guy up

It was like an escape room, but there was like no puzzles. That's what it felt like So the puzzle is why is this here? Yeah, it was like a combat of Oracle escape room. Can you like escape the logic of this space? An escape room that you actually That's really want to from. Because all the escape rooms are going with the horror theme, you know, like saw, but this one, I would be like, good. Oh, it's like the first time anybody would ever say, wow, Ronnie's running. Sarah's raw. So they go through these like rooms and there's like, there's like some fake mad scientist and then it's just weird because it's I'm like, is this a narrative? Is this like sleep no more? But then it's like not, it's just like rooms and then they wind up opening a door and there's the whole gang, the whole actually is funny because the gang is waiting to go surprise and they all have these

go surprise and they all have these pictures of Ariana on like sticks so that they're holding in front of their faces like some like masks and then so Jay Brock's is like a little lower and Brock's James goes broke put your mask up put your mask up as if like oh if Brock shows too much of his face Ariana the Ariana might think. It's not her. Like Ariana's going to walk in there be like, oh my God, look at all these versions of me. Oh, there's Brock. So it's funny that the person who takes sketch comedy so seriously is in the worst improv show of her life right now. I probably know where's Kristen Goede that she arranged this?

So everybody is like cheering, and then she knows that person who brings a real camera to the party. She's like, oh my god, I'm gonna shoot this. Oh my god, so. I know. She's gonna put a, do like an influencer thing. She brings like a little drone.

That's like flying a lot, gun-pisealing. It like take, you know, those drone videos that people love doing where it's like, look, you're looking at grass and now we're super high up. And she just does that just hits the ceiling. Yeah. Oh, oh. I thought drummers were like, man, they're man. So Santa balls announces it. Shorts is brought a cooler and Ariana Pir on a pirate and they go inside to the rave room the rave room with the bad cap Yeah, there's all sorts of Stuff as the rave room the part where shorts brings Santa ball to the side or is that just where she knows like wow

There are so many different rooms and games. It's like a stranger thing. It's wow. I'd sell it in like rooms Have you ever seen a room before because there's like many rooms here. I love rooms It's like a stranger thing that's why I'd sell it in like rooms. Have you ever seen a room before? Because there's like many rooms here. I love rooms. So then the Tom Scooter will room on the side. And of course it's like one of the hotel rooms with a bed or whatever. So they sit on the bed and Schwartz is like, um, dude, I don't want to like kill the vibe, but last night ended really badly. Like, how did it escalate to that point? And he's like, boom, I don't know. He's like, well, but she said all kinds of crazy shit.

Like, I know that you would never said that, say any of this, but like she said that you were insinuating that you're carrying the team. Actually, you literally are. Could you put me down? Sorry, but I didn't really want to better hurt you. I know you put me down sorry but I didn't want to better I know you like it all right I mean she's making it sound like I'm your charity case oh no you're not my charity case but I did get you the suitcase that has a few copies of sweet charity inside of it so So here you go. Yeah.

And you're making all the money for this operation. And he's like, oh no, that's not what I said. And then we see the clip, which I guess is supposed to be proof of shorts' accusations of him saying, how much money have you brought into your household? I've made you 20 grand. Right. And so basically, he's like, when it comes to us in our friendship, which is a brand now,

by the way, our friendship is a brand, which is awesome that our friendship is a brand, right? It's awesome. He's like, oh no, Bobo, we're not trying to create a brand. We're trying to create awesome shit. I'm like, okay, now it is annoying to have your friend announce to you that your friendship is now a brand. That is annoying. I will admit that. But when you you that your friendship is now a brand that is an O.I.

I will admit that. But when you're saying we're not a brand, we're just trying to create awesome shit. If you're trying to create awesome shit, guess what? You're brand. You're brand. Yes, you're a brand. You're trying to create shit based off of Tom Tom, which is literally a brand. Like I don't know.

I know it's a gross word. I get it. But to just be like, but we're just supposed to have fun. And then, you know, all the awesome shit is on the side. No, that's what it is for you because you're not out there hustling for anything. I think that's actually incredibly frustrating for sand of all. Well, I mean, it's dumb because they clearly didn't have a mission statement or whatever, or they didn't have a real conversation. But like, that is very frustrating. If you're thinking to yourself, cool, we went into business together,

we have a bar called TomTom, we're kind of at the Tom's, this is our thing, this is kind of our brand. And then it's like, oh, this guy does not understand this at all, right? Like that's very frustrating. On the other hand, it's also kind of annoying that we have so many matching ensembles. Like, we get that you're a brand, but

brand in different ways. Like, be better, be a better brand. Like, I know Nabisco is taken, but you know, could use some from massaging, is what we're saying. Is there a tree that you can crawl into and make little cookies out of? Little Kebler tree. So, Santa Claus was like, yeah, but it is a thing like our friendship is a brand now. He's like, no, we're not a brand. We're real friends trying to create awesome shit that people pay for. And he's like, okay, which is also not a brand. It's just a website. And we have a bond. We just want to create shit that people love. And then if they like it, then that's great. And ideally, we sort of have like a consolidated approach to how we do it. So like when we do like Tom, Tom, then other things are named Tom. So people recognize that the cool shit we do over here

is that the cool shit we do over there because we have a reputation, a brand. No, not a brand. Oh, so he's like, but you know, you just, like you, you have to know it's really hard for me to hear that stuff from Bubba because I'm thinking his sand of old talking crap about me.

He's like, no, no, no, no, no, look, all I'm talking about is like Like a brand like we have motorcycle and matching suits and stuff like that and a restaurant called talk Because we're part of the larger Bravo brand by the way, so then Yeah, oh, I just feel like she's, I just feel like I've chosen, she feels like I've chosen you over her. That's all. He also says, yeah, and bro, you know, well, like all the stuff like that, you spearhead that stick. And I appreciate that exactly. So that's kind of the whole crux of the argument, right? Yeah, but he spearheads this to build a brand

that way you guys can be more successful. And then he, like in the spirit of doing something together, he's like checking in and then he's like, Schwartz is like, oh no, no, that's too much. What are, it's like, like talk about passive aggressive, right? He's like, I don't want you to say I'm not doing anything. I mean, yes, you spearhead that stick. That stick is all you guys do. You do appearances with that stick. You get

your Amazon booking and so that's what is saying. That is what he's saying. This whole thing was so frustrating. Obviously, I'm screaming and yelling through this whole thing. So like I get it. But my god, it's really figured. It just frustrates me. I just don't, I don't understand it. I just feel like if you're doing something, Tom shouldn't be like, I just don't understand it. I just feel like if you're doing something, Tom shouldn't be like, I'm doing everything for you. I don't like that. But if you're doing something and you're choosing to bring someone along,

because he could have just said, okay, I want a hustle like any other Bravo star. Like I'm going to hustle and this is going to be my thing. I'm going to be a mixologist and that's my thing. I'm going to open bars and stuff like that. He doesn't have to drag shorts along. Yeah, he should not have actually. I think that he, I don't totally see the value of shorts.

We've seen he can't work, right? He crumbles under pressure. Sandevol is the main cocktail maker. Okay, shorts came up with a basil watermelon margarita, which is lovely, but also not that innovative. And we haven't really seen what Schwartz has truly brought to the table with Tom Tom, unless it's not on camera, which is maybe it is, but it seems like Sandevol is the one who has the passion in this area and always has had the passion.

I mean, he was literally a bartender. So I don't know why he is, he's clinging on to this failing brand. Yeah, you think if any partner was gonna be upset about not being included, it would be Ariana. Like the, you're just the one who had the book and he's like, where are you doing a book? And I'm not doing the book

because I'm the one who should be doing the book, why am I doing it? So she brings him in to like do the book with her. Like it it? So she brings him in to do the book with her. Like it seems like that would be a more natural partner anyway, but whatever. I mean, she's literally doing a cocktail box. That should be the branding, right? That they're like this, I'm not gonna say husband, wife,

but basically this duo that does it all. Right, San Deanna or something. San Deanna. San Deanna are his, are his sand something. San Diana is. Aryan sandies. So he's like, you know, look, that's all I'm saying. That's all we're talking about is like the stick of it. Okay, if you want to call it stick instead of brand fine, I'll go with that.

Okay. And dude, Katie's coming after me. It's like, but she feels like you're coming after her. He's like, blah, blah, blah. He's like, but dude, she's my wife. So I'm like between, you know, like rock in a hard place. You know, I have really never thought about that. That would suck.

That would be, hey, you know what? Like, I'm just figuratively in between a rock in a hard place. But could you help me out a million comfortable? Take my hand. Take my hand. It's like, dude, did you just put a chair on top of yourselves? That way you're wet, but you're in a chair in a wall. Wow, you're really into the literal metaphors.

They really hurt. So then Katie's over talking to Lala. And she's telling Lala that sand of all told, said that he made shorts into shorts. And shorts hasn't done a damn thing for himself. And that he wanted us to say that he's brought in so much money into my household. Katie, you are making this, you're spinning this and exaggerating it so aggressively right now. Yeah, she really is. So if I just wrote, he has, he has. Yeah. Lala's like, what a punk little punk ass bitch. So then back to the guys' shorts.

It's like, by the way, it's not lost on me that as we're talking about power dynamics in this friendship, you're looking down on me. Like you're literally sitting on the pillows looking down. He's like, well, it's not on purpose. Because there, because it's a wacky place, the proportion in the room that they're in is all messed up. So like the bed is on an angle.

So Tom Sandivall is on the higher part of the bed and Schwartz is on the low point. So they switched spots and Schwartz and Sandivall is like, actually, this is pretty comfortable. This is pretty cool. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, I'm the number one Tom now. I was like, yeah, dude, yeah, see Katie. I'm supporting him. I'm letting him sit on the tall part of the bed

He says you are the number one Tom in my book. Well So then this is the group and Tom does a toastery on a and now they're going to a place called Stammer Grammy What a Trump Trump stamp grant Trump stop Brandy's that's what I'm calling from from from Brandy's that's what I'm gonna call it. Tramp stamp, Granny's, which by the way this bar, this bar has been open for actually many years at this point and it does sort of lend some, some credence to not credence,

but it lend something credibility to what Santa Vols going for with shorts and sandies. Because if you have a place called Tramp Stamp Granny's, I think shorts and sandies have a good chance as well. But they're like, this is a great name. Katie is like, this is the concept, the name. I mean, this is a great name for a part. Santa Valls. And so James and Lala are toasting with non alcoholic drinks and she's like, wow, so do you feel like you and Brock are on the same page now? Because you know, like it is a free thing. Like does he have you post a lot for him?

It's like, look, look, my DJ thing on Instagram, it's like a thing, you know, and then all the sudden I'm posting about homebody. No, what I mean, not me. Me. Yes. He's basically saying like he kind of like curates his grid or whatever. I wouldn't know anything about that by the way. I'm like the most uncurrated grid there is on Instagram, but I like to.

There's like two pictures a year. It's like one of the billers and of the go falling out of a bowl. Adevil wants to follow our unincurrated Instagrams. It's at Ron and Carmen at Madeliger and at watch or crap ends. But unlike DJ James Kennedy, we are uncurated. And so he's basically saying like, I'm not going to put in all these cool photos. I mean DJing and then all of a sudden, like, one of these things. But he could throw it on his story. Who cares? Throw it on your story.

So he seems like, I don't even know what the app does. I don't even know. I mean, like, it's an app we lose some weight. Like, didn't Jax do that 40 years ago. So funny. So that I said last week, I like, or we're just going to pretend Jax didn't already do this. Then we see the clips of Jax doing it.

It's so funny. Nine years ago. So James is like, what for three? Fuck no. Do I need to explain it anymore? I'm like, no, I'm not. It's in the pudding. It's in the pudding. And Lala, because you are the funnest roller coaster. I've ever been on. Well, I guess second funnest after, you know, it's one thing riding around after he's had two chicken sandwiches. Woo, that is a roller coaster. Try eating out random after you go get ice cream, okay?

But you are fun. You are fun. So she's like, so you seem much calm right now after the event. And he's like, yeah, because I'm gotten down on smoking. Quentin weed is pretty big for me, you know. My dad has a mental friend, so I chat with him. And he, you know, he goes to AA and he wants to take me. So I was like, yeah. And she's basically, it's a nice scene.

They're talking about not drinking. And she's like, I thought at first it was about not drinking, but it's really just about being a better human. And she's like, I know I'm not the best example, but you will be happier. Yeah. So then pizza arrives. And James, pizza, pizza, pizza, and then she knows, she does like, here's a little bit of comic relief from

she knows, because I got a tall, I got a tall vodka water, minus the vodka. So Ariana is drunk now. She's like woohoo! She goes over the Charlie and Rikkel and she's like, oh my god you guys got pizza? I am dead. I'm not. She's like, here it is. It's calling your name. Wait, oh man. What? Yeah, it was your name. Sorry. No, it wasn't. You cheated. You cheated on the drinking game. Okay, you got wrong. Okay, you didn't call her name at all. You know what I said? It said Miranda Priestly. How about that? She had on the drinking game, okay, you got wrong, okay, you didn't call her name at all. You know what I said? It said Miranda Priestly, how about that?

So, Rickles, like, we're in Tom, Tom, to the other night and Charlie's like, okay, well, I talked to Shina and like, after the whole party left, I thought we left it there. And she says, you guys, you know, I love Shina. Rickles, like, yeah, she's such an amazing friend. But the only thing is she has asked me to end friendships with certain people that she doesn't get a long way.

She's such an amazing friend, except that she's actually also a terrible friend. So, Arianna's like, well, she hasn't done that with me because basically we've gone through the most fucked up things together and we get like a little flashback of, I have forgotten this, that there was an issue with Shina and Santa of all back in like 2015. But now, Shina is like family to Ariana now. So, on that note, Ariana just gets wasted and just starts drinking and drinking and drinking and

there's like JoJo is there the twerkin waiter. He's like, love you bitch. And then Ariana is just She's just getting wasted and then she just up and just wipes out like a real good on camera wipe out like a big like Splat and she goes, oh no her wide about like a big like splat and she goes, oh no. It's not even like she falls. She goes up to the bar and she bounces against the bar. It's so weird. It's like bar is rubber and she just walks up to it and bounces off of it.

Yeah, that's a spill. So I then now Arianna is like trying to force one of these spicy dumpling cocktails on Katie because they're all drinking spicy dumplings. And she's like, Hey, Katie, like, are you, are you okay? Have you seen some good sketch comedy recently because I'm really into it? Yeah. And Katie's like, Oh, the dumpling is delicious. And she's like, do you want to go to dinner with just the four of us and talk it out? And Katie's like, um, can you want to go to like dinner with just the four of us and talk it out?

And Katie's like, um, can Tom be em bombed before we go? And she's like, I will inject from all the hind into Tom first. And Katie's like, I would rather do anything else than go to dinner with Tom. I would rather lick Tom's feet after walking around Disney all day and slides rather than have dinner with Sandivar. Yeah, but Ariana is still trying to force some sort of dinner agenda. She keeps asking around for it. And then she's like, I will lick your buttholes if you come to dinner.

So anyway, cupcakes arrive. And there's like, you know, for the second time this episode cake on a face, Ariana puts a cake on the sand of all space. And then she looks at she's like, and I, for the second time this episode, cake on a face, Ariana puts a cake on the sand of all space, and then she looks at, she's like, and I hate chocolate and I did it. Now, I always thought Ariana was so cool, but knowing that she hates chocolate, you'd have to re-examine my entire world view

about Ariana because this does not work with me. So she's like riding Tom a scream. It's my fucking birthday. And I love that she's doing that just because, you know, she's doing it because Crying blood But it's just like wiping up spills so

Now we go to the offices of five star films, which is funny because most films are rated out of four stars. But it's Randall, Randall Emmett. And he's like, ah, it's a big day for the big boss. Yeah. He's like, wow, you're gonna do it. Wow, we're gonna look for an assistant for you. And here's the thing, you gotta be with someone

who's in it to win it. And you can promote them maybe one day the VIP of Give Him Lala. You know, what, dare to dream, dare to dream. So yeah, Lala's hiring an assistant, and of course we're all being like, for what? Like what is Lala doing that she needs an assistant? Okay, when Shorty has like lots of help around this household

So she says I know it may look like I'm twiddling my thumbs and maxing out Randall's credit cards But give them Lala beauty has been around for five years. I mean I've had a blog that's been around for 10 years, but I mean I need an assistant She's like we are a brand you gotta call Please don't call it a brand. Please love. Please. Fuck you calling me quick. So, um, yeah, listen, you know, I don't even care at this point if you're maxing out Randall's credit cards. You wax and then eat as all for as far as I'm concerned, you deserve everything. Okay, I've totally changed my stance on mala.

You deserve it. You've worked. Okay. Well, look, everyone deserves an assistant. I just think it's funny that I just think it's, I just love the way that Lala just elevates herself. And she, she's saying how, she's just frantic every day. And since becoming a mom, I'm overwhelmingly busy.

And it cuts to her handing the baby off to the nightmares for like 50 of time this season. I know Cynthia. I'm handing him off to you now. I love that she insists on starting every scene holding the baby and then just passes it off. Every so funny. Every single scene.

Like that's the new thing. You just pass it off to the nightmares or she and his mom. So she passes off the baby and she's like frandles suggested that I get an assistant so I stop abusing his which is of course that's who Lala is. She is that wife. He's like yeah, could you do my party invites for that, you know, present thing on the 12th? It's like, I don't work for you.

Like, yeah, yeah, she is so that person. So she wanted to have a Lala Beauty Party at some point. And so now she's bringing some candidates. And we have Sean Tall, Danielle, and Jessica. And they seem lovely. And the one of the first questions is, so have you heard of the Give Them Lala Beauty brand? And so the first two girls are like, oh, we have to look it up.

Yeah. And it's like, eh, disqualified, which I think is like, that's like the equivalent I feel like of me saying, hey, so have you guys heard that I bought a new mouse for my laptop? No, I haven't heard that. Oh, well, you're not qualified. You're out. She is available in Walmart though. I'm impressed.

Wow, that is impressive. Well, maybe it's Walmart.com. I don't know, let me see. Walmart.com. You know what, it doesn't matter. I can investigate this later. Let me see. Daddy.

These are the colors. Daddy, high maintenance, icon, seduction. Lied. She's got one called, send nudes, one called twerk, and one called wifi. It's very, I mean, it is better than Kristen Taken's colors. That's true. Well, yeah, that's cool. She's in Walmart.

But yeah, I don't think that you need to expect everybody to know what your, you know, slap a brand name on the shit you buy off, Oli Baba. But okay, so no one knows. So automatically the third one's going to be picked. And I would not have picked the third one because she is going to ruin your life. Like this is the lady who's going to try and steal your business out from under you. Yeah, she would have been played by Rebecca Dormourne at this show. I have to say tonight is.

Yes, she's very like, how oh my god. Of course I knew what give them Lala is. Okay, here's how I look at it. I do everything you don't do anything. So when people call you, they go through me. I'm your filter. I'm your people filter. So of course, she's the one who's going to get the job, you know, but she's going to steal everything. This is going to be called give them number three. Yeah, that's exactly right. And Randall is like, okay, I'm just gonna give it give you like a all right

This is it this is an aerial snapshot. Okay. He isn't I'm gonna give you an aerial snapshot. Wow. Wow What is this crazy vegetation? Oh, sorry. That was just an aerial snapshot of my butt. Okay, Nero snapshot of her life. Okay Oh god damn my head sorry I said you wanted an aerial or something drawn up She and I got to get this drone She miss having got a spares. I'm just trying to do my art. Um, it was for my vlog That's just a really funny image to me. I might be tickled by it. Just she not just there with a little sheena drummer. It just looks like a tune of enchiladas with little propellers.

It's branded Aunt B. So then what's the own type of crop top? Oh my God, and the one she likes is like, you can filter everything through me. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah singer. And then she says, you know, I just, I need someone that can put my schedule together and take epic content for my social media. Oh, oh, and I'll send some like household things. So like, you know, my breast pump is dirty, you can please wash it. Congratulations, Jessica.

You're doing dry cleaning, you're doing breast pumps, you're doing the vacuuming, you're doing all, it's gonna be 75% household things. Yes, have fun getting Rand's pubic hair out of the drain in the shower because you know it's coming.

So they decide on her and Lala's like, yeah, because here's what's jumping out about Jess. I gave her a nickname. Like I knew, I knew she knew, I already gave her a nickname. Jess, look, I already like her. Like I liked that she knew the brand and I. Like, I like that she knew the brand. And I love it.

I like that she brought up social. Yeah. And ran's like, well, if you don't take her, I'm going to take her, which is also, like, why it's very important for Lollad to take her because, you know, well, one can just imagine random as a systems. So, um, so now we go to Katie and Tom Tass. And Schwartz is, uh, he's playing with butters their dog He's like, I'm an alpha male. Yeah, you're an alpha male too. We're a large head in charge

This whole thing is reached a breaking point and something's got to give it's not gonna be my wife That's for sure. I'm not gonna choose sand of all over Katie ever So me and Tom are gonna have to sort something out. So Katie's like, hey, he's like, well, I'm just trying to get psyched out for this thing with Tom. She says, well, why don't you practice for me? He's like, okay, well, now this in sand of all, as of now Katie's not involved in the bar. And she's going to accept boundaries, but I need you to accept boundaries to say, follow her. Do it, follow her. boundaries, but I need you to accept boundaries to say, follow her, do it, follow her. She's like, I feel like he's going to try to steam really.

And he goes, no, we're going to talk it out. I mean, I'm not going to go in there and be like, yo, don't talk to my wife like that. She's like, um, that might be more impactful. I was like, yes, that's actually exactly what you need to do. She's towards. Yeah. She's like, yeah. And here's what you need to say. You need to say, and he's not listening to her at all, right?

He's just like on his phone and then he opens the door she's like wait a minute Are you pulling out a wrinkled lollipop from your nightstand? He's like it's my secret She goes I want you to look him in the eyes and say Tom Tom What I'm on the phone. Sorry. God you know what do you spritch really or angry? I'm scared now. Oh man Please toughing mean to the birds Katie. Oh Katie someone crushed the candy. That's so mean He's like I'm not I'm here Katie. I'm here and she likes to say Tom. Oh me Tom

You cannot talk to my wife like that my wife. Okay. I'm gonna Katie. I'm here. And she likes to say Tom. Oh me Tom. You cannot talk to my wife like that. My wife. Okay, I'm gonna say Tom my wife, you know Katie your friend The person who married the catch-ups at sir the lady who the lady who used to walk around with branch dressing with the straw in it You know that girl Scared can butters do this instead of me no Tom So over Tom and Ariana's house Ariana's like I really love you and I want you guys to work it out He's like okay, but like here's the thing like is a sister male. She's um. Did you just say sist? Like yeah, like okay, like as a siss, like whatever it's called as a woman, you're allowed to raise your voice and yell and do whatever you feel entitled to, but as a siss, I mean, a straight,

like a siss straight, like a straight male. If I were a woman, I could do that and as a gay male, I could do that, but as a straight, siss, a pimple man. No, I can't yell You sound real hashtag men's rights right now and it's gross to me First of all shut up First of all shut up What I'm talking about every gate like What you guys know gay guys and women just get everything in this world. It's crazy

I'm glad they I'm he's lucky they they could have made a whole big thing out of that and they just sort of like They just gave the hook like okay Move on to the night. Oh, they will make a big thing. This will be Katie's meat at the reunion, for sure. Yeah. And Lala, because Lala's already been pushing this thing that like, he yells at women. So now, you can't yell at women. I'm so sorry that that's such a hard rule to follow. Okay. You can yell about them on a podcast. What I'm doing, you know, even when I get in trouble for that, sometimes you cannot yell at women, sir. Sorry. No, don't yell at anyone. How about that?

Well, then you get Tom Schwartz. Either way. So speaking of which, so now, it's time for Tom to prepare for his big showdown. And I feel like this moment here is an example of where this show could use a new showrunner because he puts on a little his little helmet and he gets onto his bike and it's sort of jokie and they're playing all this

like this Katie's voice in his head over and over again, you know, like whatever she's saying. And they kind of make it like a comedic moment and I'm like, actually, I think this is a pretty significant thing and I don't have any idea if I thought this was a pretty significant thing. And I don't... I don't think so. If I thought this was so funny. It was funny, but I also felt like this is why the show is not working though, because they're undermining the sort of dramatic shit that could hook us in and engage us as viewers.

And they're always trying to make these silly, comedic moments happen and I don't think it's serving the show. Well, I get it. I agree with you for most of these segments, you know, with like the wacky titles and stuff like this. But this one made me laugh because it's like, chomps. Chomps but then it's just him on his little bike with his helmet. And the whole time he's riding over, it's like, it's like game of thrones music, you know, but it's just Tom riding his little bike. Yeah, I mean, it was funny, but I'm just saying, I don't think this in a bigger picture,

it's shit like this that makes the show feel like it doesn't have the same sort of thing, like thing that like a summer house has, right? Like there, we should really be feeling like this is a big deal that's about to happen. And even the fact that we have this cutesy bit of him on his bike, it's just feeding into this, it's perpetuating this image of Tom. It's like, oh, he's just as cute gone a bike. Oh, he's a little boy.

And I'm like, I like, no, like this should be like, you're about to potentially lose your friendship right now. And in fact, you are going to downgrade your friendship by the end of this episode. So this should feel a bit more, I feel like it should have more stakes attached to it. Okay. That was my little talk. Okay. well, you know, go for it. So then we go over to, we go over to Tom and Ariana's and, you know, Schwartz obviously gets there eventually. And they go sit down in the front room, which is a real burn.

You never want to be stuck in the front room. Not in the front room. And by the way, you know that Schwartz is really, you know, he means he's gonna have a backbone now way, you know that shorts is really, you know, he means he's going to have a backbone now because when you walks in, goes, oh, you guys are having dinner. Oh, oh, I don't want to interrupt. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's like dude. So just like, like start with it yet to lead the lead with the, with the strength, not the, not the, oh, I'm sorry. Well, I like the sound of sand evolves already completely ready for him. He already knows what's gonna happen and he already knows how he's gonna react and it was really funny watching Swords like Squirm. So sand evolves like all right let's have a drink bro. So he pours him a drink and they sit there and sniff their fucking drinks and it's silent and awkward.

And so he's like okay well there's something weighing on me lately since that blow up I've been in a haze you know like it's been real tough in my household not gonna lie there's the door still doesn't close that's what I'm here about it's the door still doesn't close bro dude you, it's been rough for me too. I felt depressed and dark about it, you know? Yeah, but it's not good with me and Katie and I've chosen you over her. And the bottom line here is, I need you to respect Katie, even though the way I'm sort of just saying this is kind of blaming Katie's still.

Yeah. He's like, well, look, I want to, I want to keep my distance from her because it seems like no matter what I say, no matter what I do against twisted. He's like, but that's not what she sets out to do. Well, maybe she hasn't. Maybe she hasn't. Look at me being called. I'm taking responsibility for it. And overall, there needs to be a higher level of respect that she's going to extend the same gratitude towards you. It doesn't make sense. She probably would extend the same courtesy to you, but she's also going to extend the same gratitude.

Katie says, thank you, by the way, just you know randomly. So look, Katie's not going to be involved, OK? And there needs to be a boundary. And he's like, well, you know, look, I think that it's better now as the business partners we are, won't say brand, okay? As the stick partners we are, that it's better that you take care of your family,

your home, and that bottle of ranch that someone clutches to go to sleep every night. So let's just keep the hangouts that aren't work related to like a bare minimum. Oh, you mean the hangouts with Katie? Yeah, okay, I'll stop hanging out with Katie. No, bro, I can't. I can't.

But when you and me, go away, I have to stop hanging out with you. Yeah, like bar hopping, hanging out, just you and me. We need to not do that for a while. Oh, it sucks to be in a strictly business relationship with Santa Bob, but it has to be done. Guess I'll just spend more time at home watching documentaries like how those cattle farmers have to wrangle the cattle and stick them with sticks on their butt. Yeah.

I don't want to say the word. Well, it's delicate, bro. Like we still have to get together for business, okay? I'm like, I get, we have to, you know, show some face time for a stick. He's like, yeah, but we can still do fun stuff together, but like mostly business stuff, but like, nine, the five percent business,

but then like 10 percent pleasure. You know, I'm not really sure how many percent I'm supposed to have, but whatever the percent is, I want to do it with you, just with you all the time. Okay, yes, I'm not really sure how many percent I'm supposed to have but whatever the percent is I want to do with you just with you all the time. Okay. Yes. I will sleep over. Can I be between you and Ariana? Okay, so let's just you know, so 80% work 20% fun, but like maybe we should 10% work. How about no work all fun. Let's do that. Can we traffic this conversation again dressed in the same outfits? Hey, what's that drone doing over our heads? Sorry.

It's not my fault. Corner. Her drone just like crashes around the corner. I said corner drone. So that was the end of that. I love how we're like, oh, this season and now it's like our longest recap of the week is like consistently bad at brim brules because despite this despite everything going wrong with the show, it does the thing that it always has done for 10 years, which is just drive us nuts. Yeah. Stop complaining.

Oh, God, you're not kidding. In our 18 minutes, that's crazy. All right, everybody. Well, then we're officially done. Okay, we're breaking up with, we're breaking, we're on a break from top to top. And tell me, this is a 90 per ton. This is a, this is no, that we are no longer having bar hopping with band of pump rules.

This is now a business moment, business relationship. All right, everybody, we sure love you. Thanks for being here. Don't forget to get tickets for watchful crappin' vlogs starting in January. Just go over to watchwitcrapons.com for those and Patreon for the videos and our bonus episodes, which by the way are all selling sunset for the moment. We're episodes which by the way are all selling sunset for the moment

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