Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: One Day You're Penguin, And The Next You're Out

Episode Date: May 1, 2019

The season finale of "Vanderpump Rules" really comes down to one thing: PENGUINS. God bless Scheana for perking up an otherwise humdrum episode. Will she and Adam ever get back together? Will Adam ever accept his penguin as his own? And will we ever get to meet the famous penguin? We'll have to wait until next season to find the answers to those questions. In the meantime, listen to our recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay? Kristie Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.

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Who's crap is Watch what crap is Who's crap is Who's crap is Who's crap is I'm Ben Mandelker from the real housewares of kitchen island It's cartoon you can watch it on YouTube go do it and joining me is a wonderful hilarious charming and hugable Ronnie Karam who can also be found on the Roseprick's bachelor's podcast. What's going on Ronnie? I'm at the end of the seventh.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, to anyone that we have not just startled away from the podcast, welcome. Um, we're going to be talking some Van Opomp rules season finale. But before we do that, of course, we must mention the fact that we have a bunch of live shows coming up. Our next one is here in Irvine, California, that's in Orange County. And we're going to be talking about the season premiere of Southern Charm, so that's going

to be super fun. That's May 16th. Get your tickets. We've sold a whole bunch of those. And then after that in June, we're going to Milwaukee and Minneapolis. Minneapolis has like five tickets left or something. So get those if you're on the fence and then in July we are going to Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Baltimore super fun and then lastly we're going to Nashville in September and there will be more dates more cities More fun to be announced and of course if you skip on over to our Our merch shop we have Rose, I'll die! merch which is really fun and some other Rose stuff really cool things leggings etc just go to watchercrapans.com to get all that good stuff and last but not least if you're a Game of Thrones fan and you are looking for

even more Game of Thrones content we have a side gig called Winter is Crapin'ing. It's available in this feed, the Watcher Crapin's Feed, it's also available in its own feed. Get it at the Apple Podcast Store or wherever you get your podcast. Be sure to subscribe and write a review. It helps us a lot. It like will improve our standings on the charts. When it improves the the standings on the charts, it helps the podcast grow hugely. So if you could do that, that'd be wonderful. But if you don't feel like it, that's cool too.

And that's that. Yeah, we're also live streaming this today. We're doing a new thing. We're live streaming on Patreon. So we moved over from TV party. Sorry, but we're on Patreon now. So if you guys want to watch these live streams, we're doing a couple of week.

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And now it's on board show. Spanner pop rules. Some season finale. Wow. Yeah. And by the way, if you're watching this on Krapazunderman, you get to see this tiny little ice coffee that I got with like a swizzle stick in it. I was very upset I asked for a big one and I got a tiny one instead so that's the sort of bonus you get by watching crap

It's a man a Watered-down coffee because I was almost finished and I didn't want to have a heart attack so whoa Somebody just told us Minneapolis is sold out. So thank you. Tell on this camperley. Yeah, so there you go Sorry, let's take a third one. Yeah, you there you go. So sorry, those tickets are gone. Yeah, you just meet in slides. Look, look, okay. It happened live on the podcast. Whoa, can't.

Wow, wow. I can't believe I find out on page six, okay. Hey, at least he didn't find out about the show on page six. Whoa, sorry. Whoa, I hit my alarm. It might, it might, it might, my microphone alarm. Okay, so obviously we're in a weird state already because it's the season finale project. I'm not project runway. Vanderpump rules. And it opens up in this

like weird artistic moment. It was like some editor had wanted to do this thing all season long. And finally the producers are like, fine, do your thing. And it's like these weird, it's like B roll around the end of. And it's like these weird, it's like, B roll around the end of the seventh ray, but it keeps fading to black. Like it's a special moment, but we're just like looking at like flowers and trash on the side of the road, you know?

While tricks and monocles things, it's very artsy for no good reason. Yeah, it's artwork. Okay. Well, we're just doing the entire recap as Ramona. I'm not going to be able to. For the people who are brand new to the podcast are like What is this accent?

So this is We open with a really good song and I couldn't get the Words all written down properly because this girl has like Ariana Grande diction where it's just like Like she's chewing on her tongue. I don't know what the fuck this girl is you can trying to say yeah I tried to write a dad and here's what I got You know you're a better man than me because I heard her singing and I was like there's no way I'm gonna stop and rewind this ten times just to get like three of those words, okay? I'm not well when the first lyric is these minds feeling kind of empty,

I'm sure that that's not what she said, but it's so perfect. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's like describing the characters or how I feel. But either way, so Jackson, Brittany, show up at the end of the seventh, right, yeah, yeah, for their engagement party. and Britney, you know, she's so excited That she's doing that like Britney Babble like Britney wedding babble. She's like well a couple and here's that you could like put around like maybe ham and Three seven there's like a little bit of this and I got a mirror and you put that on table I don't go to fame and this is like an enchanted verse and like I like farce a lot because I have like creatures and there and I love They're all I'm being on site. It's just fun. I'm getting engaged

There's my entire, say your swear, everything goes with the thing. I'm like, okay, Brittany calm down. Like she's like, I know. She's becoming a country fair. I know what I mean. She's like, I'm a fierce wheel. I'm a donkey, Pansy. I'm like, okay, you how is thick is your accent going to get by the end of this? You fucking fake her. It's like calm down your character work, right? Yeah, it's just like every vendor in the food section is like you want to call on dog a fun cake? I got a popcorn and I can get it. I'm all right

Yeah, right. I like you just need to put on the battles just like do clear Hard to act every two seconds the thing is enchanted for us, and I think so much. You're a pie guy. Oh, I need her some birds to come chirping on the shoulder or some legit fairies flying around. They'd be so cool. Uh-heh. Jay, can we buy some birds and some legit fairies? I want some birds and some- I just-

I'm just mopping my dream. I've always dreamed. My little girl, I dream about birds, and I look at the- I say birds and the sky, but I'm like, oh, yeah, for me, because that's my dream to have you here.

Okay. Clear. Oh, okay. Thank you. I know if we were at the fair, I wish Brittany was one of those, like, little clown heads that you shoot a water gun into you. And whoever just keeps shooting the water gun for the longest, like the balloon, you know, starts to expand, you know, that's my favorite one.

I just want Brittany's face or their stupid stupid go-fossom I like and I can just shoot right straight in there with my water gun I feel like everything at the country fair is so Britney like this like that like the that game with like the horses where you shoot the water at it and the horses are going like I'm a first I'm a first I'm a first I'm a first I'm a third I'm a third I'm a second I'm a third I'm a first I'm a first second, I'm a third, I'm a first, I'm a first. They always give me the last minute. I can imagine her on the swings, just like, you know, the swings that goes around and around and around, I just imagine this.

I mean, go. I mean, go. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, police when you were on that swing thing. I'm trying to just like why I don't know nothing gets you in the mood like like staying like listening to like every breath you take as you're on a swing. What pondering you on mortality of those J and snap off final destination style. So Brittany's like look at the flower. Why oh, I was like what's that? And but then they showed a flower wall. So I knew you see that.

Yeah. And I was like, what is this is the lowest right in version of Sir I've ever seen. Why don't you just do this at Sir? They're trying to she's trying to make it look. Well, not sir, I guess pomp it looks more like, but why are you bothering if you're just going to make it look like pomp, you know, except just like the low rent version.

So instead of roses, it's a carnation wall. Yeah. And I was embarrassed. I mean, I was embarrassed for you. Well, I like a carnation wall because it reminds me of growing up because I was loved a good instant break face In some breakfast you're gonna love it in an insane yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and Just in water I can't imagine her to say that like she's just going to her mom just say what her mom like just kids going to her mom. Just saying what her mom?

Beeeeee. He's excited about the flower wall and Jackson's like paying the flower lady. He's like, can't believe I just spent this much on flowers. I was like, how much did you spend on Coke? Okay, like the flowers are just a drop in the bucket. Stop your complaining, okay? Yeah, I like that he hands over this money and this florist

who has clearly just flees to him, is like, thank you so much, thank you. I'll just walk over here, enjoy your paper flowers, thanks. Yeah, and he tells us, this is just a new jacks. You know, I roll with the punches a little bit, and just kind of, you guys do what Brittany wants, does Brittany wants. Oh my god, he's to snort the flower while.

He will. And then we see everyone printing. So we go over to Tom and Ariana's apartment. And Tom is like, dude, I'm possibly drawing with the idea of wearing a hat. Like he announces this as if he's like debating whether or not to actually like join the presidential race, you know, yeah, we know you're throwing your hat in the ring. Okay.

And it's going to be the same one with a different scarf around it, which you know what I kind of like that he just buys one expensive hat and then puts different scarves around it. So it'll be a new hat. I feel like you've earned that from like design on a dime or something, but I'm here for it. I love that. Yeah, yeah, I like it. And then meanwhile over at Christian and Carter's apartment, Lala has announced that she is, she has like this like headpiece thing from Gucci, that's sort of like Wonder Woman-esque and she's like, she's like all excited to wear it in Christen's like, yeah, it's sort of like a crown, but it's boho, she's headpiece.

Seriously? Seriously? like a crown, but it's boho chic headpiece. Seriously, seriously. I'm on low. It's like, well, I still got to that bitch's note. What's up? I'm with you. Okay. I'm with you. Okay. I'm with you. Okay. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm like, this is the first Gucci headpiece that has ever made me want to cry watching a TV show. I don't want to get all my little sister like keep trying in the world, okay? Keep making it up for it.

Yeah, I don't think I like really even support the Gucci headpiece even if even if it were like not like received through Randall Emmett Felicio, but like now that, especially in the wake of the whole 50, the Fofty drama, I'm just like, I can't support this headpiece right now. It truly is a headpiece, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, it's funny. It's a double headpiece. Yes, a lot of head. It was a sad headpiece. This is what you this is a, you know, this is my sore throat piece. Okay, so then we go over to Stasi and Bo and Bo's just trying to get this fucking bottle open and he can't do it. And Stasi's like, I can't believe I'm going to Jackson's, Jack's Taylor's engagement party. Okay, like he's so an asshole but at least he doesn't take it out on me and Brett and and pros like I can't open this fucking thing. It's like, give it to me. He's like,

how are you gonna open it? I mean, this is like every relationship ever. We're the guys like, how are you gonna open it if I can't open it? She's like, yeah, your daddy, bitch. It turns into fire of Melisandre style. So then, um, so then Katie, we go over to Katie and Tom's apartment where Katie, course is on the couch just you know I'm the casting on the couch of Katie. I mean if no one takes my podcast idea That's fine, but Katie take mine on the couch with Katie Okay, I need a I need a podcast of Katie just sitting around high on edibles folding laundry badly It's like the terrible successor to the people's couch the Katie's couch. So there's no lines. You just watch the actual show you just see Katie's reaction and it's always like

Yeah It like it like borders on A video installment you might see at a modern art museum Just like watching a woman's face mildly react to something and then be like So then um Tom was like, Papa, I don't know what to wear. I mean, I've worn this shirt so much and this one might be so casual. Oh, what about this? And he like pulls out like a little Tom Tom baby outfit, little baby thing, you know. Yeah. And they're like, start talking about like, Wednesday. Yeah, Wednesday, they start talking about like a potential Tom and Katie baby

And he's like, I can't picture you pregnant. I feel like you're gonna be a monster of a human So then we go over back to Christian Shina and lot Christian Shina mama and Kristen's like and it's like, you want shampoos, don't get gawd. Gawd, gawd. Yeah. Lala's like, I'm only having soda. Like, I want to keep not drinking forever because I just like, I just like become this other person and I take it out on rand.

And I was just thinking, uh-huh, I wonder how this weekend went. Yeah, I know. I wonder if this is the summer weekend over there. Yeah. Yeah. And Katie's like, Christian like, yeah, you're always thinking out of the people closest to you. Oh.

So then she has like, um, is Mercury a retrograde? Because like a lot of them won't speak to me. He like, hates me. And it's like, cries around now. See, that's not what Mercury and retrograde means. Adam is not a robot that broke. She's like, Adam needs a system update. That's not where Markierine retrograde means. Adam is not a robot that broke. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I poked two old friends. So I think it's all because I want on a date with a fucking model. And they're like, okay, here we go.

Here we go. Just lay it on, Ashina, lay it on. Yeah. So if he doesn't what that happening, he should commit to you. It's like, I'm not his man. He's not as just responsible. So now Ashina starts to cry because Lala saying like, she's you, like, and guys are going to like walk all over you. You let them into easily. And she's like, well, the thing is, I have to say, Iala saying like she's you like you guys are gonna like walk all over you

Let them into easily and she's like Well the thing is I haven't even told you this part yet the thing is He loves more than anything in the world our penguins and like so I looked into it out there query I'm you're gonna adopt a penguin Mala's like you adopted this motherfucker a penguin I'm all I was like you adopted this motherfucker a penguin The fact that she know like went down this random penguin route right here in this finale like this penguin honestly Saved this episode because the episode was so boring aside from it. It was all about the penguin and she know I don't care what anybody says about she now

I love her and she needs to be on the show forever I mean this shit is amazing because she's not even kidding you know sometimes you watch these shows and it's like oh they did that for you They needed something to do so they did that but no this is so she know like oh my god I'm gonna make it up the like like Like she was She was so Like this was such an urgent matter for her that she clearly didn't even wait for production to film her, like, filling out the forum or calling her going, like, she

just was like, I'm doing this. It was like 1 a.m. She's like, I'm adopting this penguin right now because this is what I have to do. I have to make that grand gesture. And she's like, she goes, if he's so mad at me after I got him a fucking penguin, then we're done. The best part to me was when she got... Yeah, I named him Spot!

He's gonna have... I didn't hear that, I don't know how I missed that. Spot? She named him Spot. Oh my god. Also I have to say, Adam, you know, everybody's just like, well, Adam's thirsty. Peter went on Danny Pellegrino and I haven't listened to you up, but I heard it. Go listen to Danny Pellegrino. We love him. But Peter went on there and apparently said the

Adam is just using she know to be on the show, which is pretty much what they uniformly say across the cast, right? From everything that I've heard. And maybe that's true and maybe it's not, but I will tell you this, Adam definitely wants a relationship because any guy who wants, is, has any guy whose favorite animal is a penguin wants a relationship. That's what penguins do. They make for life. I've seen every penguin movie that's ever come out, okay? I want to paint.

I'm not going to just waste my time with some dumb Sheena to be on TV. I'm looking for a mate from life. You're looking my little... my little waddley waddle. Yeah, and the thing is that Sheena is very penguin-esque. If you really look at her, she looks like a penguin, and you can also imagine her like, you know that there's always that scene when like penguins like waddle,

they finally make their way to like the water. They're on the ice there, and they sort of stand there. They look at the water, and then they just dive in like She's like I think I'm gonna dive in for the water cuz there's a fish right now But I don't want to wait for the right time. I want to make sure it's the time. He's just right. I think I'm gonna Or when like penguins are sliding you know when they have the shots of penguin sliding towards something and like Oh my god that penguin is not gonna make that corner and then the penguin is like,

Cora-na! And then it makes it, and like, that was the base. I never expected that penguin to be able to do that. Yeah, it's like, it's like when penguins are like, well, you know, there's always a penguin who gets like, lost in the big mass and the penguin can be like, it's like, Adam? Adam? Adam! Cora-na! Adam? Adam?

Adam? I think I have one of each of the prime fish. Thank you. Mm-hmm. I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and like he can do them in like seven Mineralizes like amazing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on.

Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night,

you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So yeah, so then we go back to area on the top. Now over the years, you know, some things have changed a lot. Some things have not changed at all, but since it's the finale, we are the season finale, we should reflect, you know, and I was just looking at Tom and I'm like, you know, we've seen Tom in the same fucking

bathroom doing his hair, like a, like a, like a pretty girl for what, seven years now. But the only thing that has really changed, because his face still looks like himself. I mean, Ariana's changed, but she's been there a long time because it used to be Kristen. The only thing that's really changed is the size of the hair iron. And I just want to say, hair irons, you've done a great job with making it into the future world. You're not these big pancake things anymore.

Now you're like a nice, comb-sized, flat-mer. You know what? Give credit where credits do. And that's do you hair iron there you go you've come a long ways since Ryan C. Crests and you know what we appreciate the good work you've done for Tom Sandevol so Arianna wants to talk to Lisa because we've been friends for years and there's like no reason I shouldn't be able to talk to her. And Tom's like literally hiding behind the steamer.

Like, he's like corner. Can I bring this steamer so I can just make myself disappear if this gets awkward? She's like, yeah. So Ariana's decided that she wants to say to Little Lisa, she didn't like the way Lisa publicly shamed the Tom's during a press junk at moment. And Tom's like, this could cause a falling out dude. I'm just gonna

climb into our very adult credenza and just let me know when you're done with it. Definitely wearing a hat. Definitely wearing a hat. Yeah, definitely This will be a hat moment also meanwhile over at saucy's place saucy and bower talking and saucy's like Tonight I'm gonna keep an eye out AF for anything that may mean I'm about to go crazy on you Okay, like I've been trying really hard, yeah. Like, I saw a freaking witch, all right? I mean, I should really shouldn't call her that. I was hanging out with Kristen and like,

she's been really trying to coach me along. Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, skip that. Yeah, that's fine. This is not seeing you. It's not seeing you. It's not seeing you. I feel like Stasi is talking about herself, like she's the Hulk, you know?

Yeah, I'm really trying to keep it inside I hope I can do it. Don't yell at somebody and threaten a murder them. How about that? Yeah, also need to be that hard of a thing It's not a snickers bar. You know what I mean? It's not a snickers bar and a bag of you know Hundred calorie popcorn when you come right drunk that you just can't control you It's like I just I hope I don't beat my boyfriend tonight drunk that you just can't control you. It's like I just I hope I don't beat my boyfriend tonight. I didn't that by the way that always bothered me about the Hulk at least the Hulk's the modern Hulk's that I've seen like Mark Ruffalo's style where it's like I don't want to hurt people. I'm like you know what just on the back you turn to the Hulk and warn

people say you know what don't piss me off because I'm going to turn to the Hulk and I think I'd be much happier you know. Yeah I mean it's like body goals for sure So then James is at his therapist Anita. Yeah And he's watching James I Love watching James now. I find James the most fascinating person these days because that he's going through so much He is like a ball of emotion and there's like so much complicated shit going on with him and I actually feel like he's pretty and there's like so much complicated shit going on with him. And I actually feel like he's pretty, he pretty much bears it all out there. And he like is totally not self-aware about certain things.

And so I like watching him in therapy. He's like, well, hello, how are you? Like looking all around, like he can't focus his eyes. Yeah. And hello, how are you? Well, here's what's going on. You know, I was supposed to there's a party There's a party in Mexico, and I didn't get to go with the group So you know, I got kind of mad got kind of mad about it

And you know what else is going on got just invited to this party to yeah got I had my own party had a good party for Graham. We put a pin the tail on the party and The party it was really fun time a lot of people came and as many people came so I wanted to. And then he tells her and you know I blew up on the horse to the trip and I guess I shouldn't done that but you know I just don't understand people who get mad and don't do anything about it and like well that's why you're in trouble because you made everybody mad and they did something about it. Yeah exactly. Yeah. Exactly Therapist is like um, so why did you have that? Well, I mean, how's the drinking going? He's like oh, it's gone pretty well

I haven't been drinking except for like two beers of four five six beers, you know Every now and then just but not I haven't really been getting a drink about it. She's like well Why did you have that first beer? He's like, oh, you know, to be more like James Kennedy, to be more charismatic, I guess, to be more like, I'm playing Coachella or really Sir Pete's Oven, Pete's Oven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Poor guy. Poor guy. He's like, why do you have that one beer to feel good about myself? Like yeah, that doesn't sound bad at all, James. Yeah. Sounds great. Sounds great. And she's like, well, do you think you could be that person without it?

And he's like, no. He's like, I've stuffed out. I'm human. All right. What's one beer? I can have one beer. Which you know of James is admitting to one beer. That's like heroin, crack, and like a meth chaser.

Exactly. And he's like, what's one beer? And she goes, well, you tell me how can one beer harm you? He's like, I can't. It makes me perfect. I'm perfect. I'm great when I drink everyone knows it Everyone loves me on a drink girl girl And he's like what am I gonna go call turkey not now. I mean I hear myself thinking when I'm sober I was like that is the best Truthful answer to that answer that I've ever heard

truthful answer to that answer that I've ever heard. I drink for a reason. Okay, they call it self-medicating for a reason. Yeah, that's what I always say. I'm like, James, I hate to break it to you, but you're speaking exactly like an alcoholic right now. I think you totally got it. You know, I totally got it. So she's like, well, you know,

it's really important that you make this decision for yourself and not for others. And he's like, don't worry about what people think. Who lives like that stupid. I love thinking about what other people think, especially because they all think I'm pretty cool, especially when I drink. I'm sure I could go back in time. Rick has said she can go back in time, but I'm not sure if I leave her. Oh my god, thank God he can't. Oh, so someone just told us in the comments that it was not Danny Pellegrino Katie was on Danny Pellegrino, not Peter. Peter was on Kate Casey. So another

one of our little buddies, so go listen to bed in them. Thank you for correcting me, Kristen. So over at the grafting hotel Everyone's in Seeds and Sherry and Mima are there and we're all getting ready to get on the bus. Yeah Time to go to the end of the seventh right. Yeah, yeah So yeah, they're all they all get on the party bus to go out to Malibu And then we see like some footage from the from the party bus and you see like at one point Kristen is like standing by the stripper pole just like very stiff and erect and like a hand up she's like she looks like a smoky the bear like don't smoke your sign or something like look at me Mariposa so Dr. Mariposa on the stripper pole so you're just poking the stripper pole with her nose she's like

We're both on the stripper pole. So she's just poking the stripper pole with her nose. She's like, you can cross-stripper pole. Seriously? Seriously? Cook off. So, um, so now Jack over at the end of the seventh-rate, Jack's esteem Brittany's clothes and Brittany is like on social media. She's like,

Chai-ai-ai! This party bus looks real fun. See how we can't be on the party bus right now. Santa Claus is being bonge. And Jackson's like, yeah, that's why he's the best man. That's why he's my best man. Tom Santa Bob my best man. Be a bonge.

Tom Santa Bob my best man. And then he goes on Twitter last night and he's like, no, my best man is shorts. I guess I guess things don't go well between Santa Vaughan and old Jackson boy, the reunion. And also, it's also like declared on the reunion, like preview, like, you're his bass, my yeah, yeah, and Tom. So Britney was a stop sign.

People would keep crashing into each other because it takes too long to read you know Should be like a should be like a traffic like the talks talk to herself like I'm red So I'm pretty now I'm pretty sad funny cuz I was ready to go to Oh, look at me. Oh, man. I'm ready. Okay. All the cars like do I go now like bed. I'll walk out of the house. Oh, man, I'm not ready. OK. All the cars, like, do I go now? What do I do? So she's freaking out because she hasn't invited Lala to be her bridesmaid, but she's invited everybody else. And she hopes she doesn't get Billy lead.

Yeah, basically. Yeah, basically. Billy Lee, who was not even present in the season finale, wow. Yeah, you know, that's the thing about Billy Lee. I was on her side with that whole beginning thing of the season, but yeah, I think just to go off like this on every person in the cast, I think she's got to try because that's how you become a regular, you know, your drama. Yeah, but now they've it's the season of icing out and Jackson's going to have his way with everybody. And so sorry you're on that iced out bus too now. Yeah, I was actually the inverse. I was not really on her side during the girls night thing But I was more on the side of her with the other stuff. So go figure

Zero-sum game when it comes to Billy Lee so So they're on the so back on the party bus. It's like more fun times and Adam is like Walking from one end of the party bus to the other for no good reason and she is just sitting there as he walks by and ignores her and she's like, uh, here we're even like it may Wanting to look at me. I like what I see with them and the hog out of screen. I'm telling them about spot I was gonna. Are we gonna leave spot? I want to see my culture. Is spot are we gonna teach spot? I got on this book. I don't even know what's about.. I just got it because it's from Penguin Publishing and it was penguins. I wonder spot mouse in each alliance sea bath. Hard because I got on.

So, he's being so junior high. He's like, oh, I'm not talking to you. I'm still not talking to you. He's ridiculous because like if he is using Shana, well, he obviously is using Shina to be on the show Then like do something like he spent the entire season just like looking from the corner like oh And then like and then on top of that like This whole bullshit thing like she does in the right on this one. You can't say to someone like I don't want to have a I don't want to be in a relationship, but I also, but I don't want to be exclusive,

but I don't want you sleeping with someone else. Well, you can't have it both ways, sir. Well, didn't they make that agreement that they weren't gonna sleep with other people or whatever, because she said she wasn't gonna sleep with somebody else, so then what's the point? If, seeing you, I mean, we know what she did, it's not really that deep of a thing.

She admits it like 20 times in this episode, so. Yeah. I don't know It's like hard to figure out what's right and wrong on the show because it's all wrong. Okay, you're everything's wrong So it's like trying to pick the right in the wrong. Yeah, hey, so we go back to the end of the seventh ray and poor Peter He wasn't on the party bus yet to drive himself, which means he can't he can't party with everyone else in the same way because he had to drive Oh really because his first thing is oh, what's up to drink? Oh, what is it? What are we going to have here? Hair. All right. Why in the champagne? Let's get it going.

Let's get it going. I put on my pink suit for this. Well, I guess, well, that's too bad. Too bad for everyone else on the road there. Yeah, that'm bad. That's a good question. She's bad for everyone else on the road there. Yeah, that's unfortunate. So, Jackson's like, you look beautiful, Britt, and she's like, this is really it, but it's not there, it's a pretty good way to. Oh my God.

It's like every time she says that shit, I get so mad because I just know all the shit that she's making your friends do. All the showers and the parties and the post party and the pre-party and someone was saying there's like a thing that couples do now where like the day after the wedding, there's like a gift opening thing that people do now

and I'm like, oh, I guarantee she's doing that. And you're supposed to do the day after the wedding if you invite my ass, you take me to brunch. Yeah, you take me to brunch. And yeah, pool preferably a pool there. Yeah, you take me to brunch. Yeah, pool, preferably a pool there. Yeah, exactly, but you know she has everything as a thing. And then you know once this wedding's over and once the baby train comes in,

good luck everyone, gender reveal party. There's gonna be gender reveal party part two, like just to cover some other bases, I don't know what. And then they'll be like, baby shower and like, what a breaking shower, and like, sciatica shower. I mean, it's something for everything. Oh, I think she'll never come to your staff.

She'll never. What? I'm so sorry I couldn't come to your room. She'll trip it. We got a, bye, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, treatment, we got a ba-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya funny if you pick up my bio beam put it to your ear you can see the sea you can hear the sea shells If you touch a string to my baby to the sea shells you can talk to someone on the phone So Lisa can arrive and Lisa's in a naughty mood because she's wearing a cream colored fancy dress with a red bra showing through the back. Oh, cuz I'm young at heart and young and brisier. I'm wearing a bra to match the age I pretend I am on Wikipedia.

I'm wearing a bra to match the color of my heart. After what has been done to me on my other TV show, I'm bleeding out. I'm bleeding in the back from what I've been stabbed. I got rid of that to reach the end of the world. Alright, where's the rosé darling? So Jackson's like, alright, you know, he's and wine only cuz I don't trust with people with tequila All right, and she's like who would that be exactly and can't like you yeah, yeah, yeah so We then go back over to the party bus and

Shorts he's sensing some tension with Adam. He's like, oh, hey Adam You want to talk you want to know? No? Okay, well, I tried Way to go there. Where'd they go? The shorts he's the biggest shitster Tom Schwartz. He gets away with so much on the show He really gets away with everything He's just trying to cause fucking drama at this thing and then Jackson's gonna get so mad that she's gonna cause drama And then Tom's gonna pretend he didn't do anything wrong. You know, I can't believe they would do that.

It's your wedding or your engagement. Yeah. So then she knows she's like, she's not sitting with the girls and she's like, I don't know anything about me. I'm like, overall because like those guys gorgeous, they're like, I don't know. And they're like, he went down on me for like two hours. I'm sorry, but that leaves to like getting the whole thing or anything like that doesn't even go down on me

everyone's like please get to Malbo can this bus go any faster can I go any faster please because like I'm I'm I'm I'm I have to take a Uber home guys I may have to do that it's like oh gosh I'm sure they'll be devastated, Gina. I'm sure they will be. Yeah. So everyone's horrified when she says, Autumn doesn't go down on her. And Stasi's like, he doesn't go down on you. That's a cliffhanger.

Now it's not his thing. And then it like gets to commercial. Like I love that this is the cliffhanger that's supposed to take us to the commercial break. Adam doesn't go down on Gina. Oh, I have to tune in to see what happens next. I know, then it's like five frosted oats commercials. Like, I have an unhappy face.

So, so the bus finally shows up and we just hear Sheena go, are we here? Imagine, like, she's like not sure exactly when the bus pulls into a parking lot that it might be the right location. I don't know, it's just everything she said cracked me up. Every single thing. So, Peter's, yeah, this is where Peter's like,

champagne, what? So, Christians like, oh my God, someone's better a person, good Lord. Good Lord. And basically it's just everybody coming to the party. It's like really quick shots of everybody around the party We see her girls and does that thing when people like written you see their girls. We're sick It's so fucking It's like you know where I want to go to I want to go to Paris because in that country called friends

I can't wait to go to France it's supposed to be so beautiful over there Now we're told me that was gonna be this way Okay We hasn't been your day in w, you month or even your yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I know we have to talk about this every year because it happens every year But what is Tom's end of all open champagne like that? Who is gonna drink that that is a safety concern? Okay, not a good right No, he's not it breaks off the top. It doesn't just get off the cork, it breaks the glass. I know, I'm not ecstatic people.

I don't support Saber-ing myself, but you know, it's a party trick, and once you learn it, you just... I guess you just want to do it. Would you Saber off the cork, don't you? You don't sober, you don't Saber off the glass part of the bottle, or is that a thing? Uh, I don't know, to be honest, I don't want to pontify it. Don't need to be class, I don't want to punch it. Don't be giving me class, okay? Thank you. Is it possible just to get that cork? I mean, okay, now I have to look. I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm sorry. Sabering a cork. How does Saber a champagne bottle? Now I'm looking at it. It's from Bon Appetit. Because now I'm really, this is really like, I'm just looking at the pictures to see it. No, you break off the glass. Yeah, that's horrible Don't drink people's sabre jump pants very on sea It's very it's you know what?

It's it feels scary. I don't like it. It's dangerous. Okay. We have laws and regulations and boys and restaurants to protect people Swirling glass. Okay. Yeah, we're not gonna do that, we're not. There will be, there should be no saboring at a watcher crappin' after party, ever, ever. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, that was that. I'm really glad we all learned. Because I needed to know, and I was just convinced

he was doing it wrong. Yeah, well I think he's doing it right. And for those of you who doubt me, he thought that a dry martini meant there's no firmies in it. Yeah. And feel, don't worry everyone, we got this covered, no need to send us any articles about saboring, we got a cover. So so Brittany's dad walks up to Lisa and he's like, you know, I have to say that when

Brittany moved to Los Angeles, like you were the mother figure that she didn't have. And even now with her mother here, you're still the mother figure that she never had. I mean, would you look at my ex's lipstick? Can you believe it? You know I mean she was raised with a mother who did nothing but spent her afterneeds making that with Wadat bottles. Oh you're going to make me cry. I mean you're not actually making me cry but you're going to theoretically if you say something charming would you probably won't? I love loved watching her grow. I mean to go from a hooters waitress

To us so waitress. Oh First she was just showing her boobies and now she's showing her boobies and her hootie who? showing her boobies and now she's showing her boobies and her hooty-hoo. Oh, congratulations! What parenting! You've really made it! Yes, I, it just seems like it was yesterday that she came and interviewed for Sir with no pants on. What? How far has she's gone? I don't want to take all the credit for Brittany buying her first pair of underwear, but I will. Thank you. So the dad's, he's like, I was concerned for her safety, especially the people she was

gonna meet, but you're concerned and you're welfare, I've made a lot better, and what do you think? Has Jack changed? She's like, well, no, I think that at some point this week he put on new underwear, yes. Well, I think he really has. I think that your daughter, being by his side through everything he's been through has suddenly made him see the light. And then she tells us, oh yeah, he's totally different,

totally different now, which is so funny that she can hold a grudge for everybody else and everything else, but jacks, which just really goes to prove all you have to do is be a broken fucking bird. Okay? 90 million times. I don't know why the girls on Beverly Hills can't learn this. But you know, the founder pump even forgave Brandy and then got immediately slapped in the face with an olive branch. But still. Yeah. She just puts you know, the way that she processes is that she is like, no, everything's fine, but she's still hard for something on the inside and she just works her way through it and she sort of needles you for a little bit and then she's fine.

And she's like, he needs me. Oh, he's okay. Yeah. So the dad goes, whatever mine needs a good woman. And she's like, well, only one. That's always what I do. My husband. and she's like, well, only one. That's always what I do. My husband. Which is him? That's some British humor. So then Stasi comes over to talk to Vanderpromp and you know, they're just nice to each other and staff. And then Jack's comes over and shows off his tattoos. Yeah, I'm like, I love that. off his tattoos. Yeah, I love that. Who else would she say that to you about tattoos? Yeah, she's just being polite at this point, relying on good British manners. And here she goes

for giving Jackson Jackson's already talking shit about her all over the place. Yeah, exactly. Like at our show, he came and talked shit. So some of them bring us it down with Lala and she's like, Oh my God, it's like a permanent smile from what you're doing here. Oh my God, where does the smile begin and where's it and? Whoa, it's huge. Is that not how you ordered it from your Instagram dental person? So. She goes over to talk to Lala and Mala was like,

are you having the bath night ever? Gooch Good you have band. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. Gitchie. G out because there's so many baby It's yeah, it's crazy. I have L.I. Marcy I Melissa Melissa I'm gonna say I got tiny I'm gonna Christian I got Jennifer. I got Like the hamps because there's too many it's like that is so flattering. You're really making this worse on yourself, okay? I like the amp, because there's too many. It's like, that is so flattering. You're really making this worse on yourself, okay?

I like that you snuck Melisandre, the sorceress in there. It does. I like her. She does fire and sieve. It looks really cool. I'll say, I want to have some fire and she likes to wear red and sieve. And I was like, okay, I want to have red from my price. But those looks so exciting.

I don't even know. I'm so sorry. You can't be there alone. I don't want anyone to feel left out. Clear. Okay. So Lala's like, um, this is your day and you should have whoever you want. So here's a really expensive gift.

It's for me and Brandon, who is kind enough to not come to your engagement party. Rand, you have so much liquid, liquid, buddy. Then he doesn't owe anybody and he can totally afford a luxury as a guy a great relationships with pop stars So it's a it's a It's like things that kids give their parents. So it's like here's a here's a gift certificate for a hug Yeah, yeah, for me doing the dishes one day, but it's a gift certificate to fly with Rand and Lala on a private jet to some mysterious house that they've rented that they can go to at any time

to think about. Kavo, it reminds me of, I don't think you watched Instant Hotel, but one of our listeners, Katie, turned me on to it, and the prize on that show is like the winner of Instant Hey Tale is going to win a weekend and stay at a Airbnb in Palm Springs rumored to be owned by a celebrity.

It's like, what? What's the surprise is that? That's what this is. It's a red zone. It's Cena. It's Cena's Airbnb. He's at Palm Springs. We have penguins in the backyard if you want.

There are reviews are like, I want a game show and I had to come to this fucking house. It smells like penguins and house pictures of like a naked lady all over the place. Because you know, actually just bought a house and pump springs, I think. And then Christmas buying house. They're all buying houses. It's not I know. It's not boat well for the show. Nice work if you can get it. Geez. And then they're all going to get fired watch.

Yeah. And so it's pretty is like oh god Man, I had to go to a lot of her. She wasn't in my shot wasn't in my bridal shower I'm bridal bridal party and then she gets his big expensive gifts, and I just feel like a little turd right now As she told me I'm going over by kites them a lot time I was like have you not been to Aubreyland? Like how does, how does, how does going somewhere with fucking random la la on a couple's trip? Yeah.

Equal vacation of a lifetime. Obviously no love with that. I'm gonna make you feel like a little turd, jacks every day once you get married. Just see. Yeah, that's how we love this, mate. So then Adam is still padding and Tom number two is like, well, my wife's not apparently

not going to do anything for this show, so I guess I'll go over and talk to Adam. So he's like, dude, I can feel the tension, but I mean, you, you can cut the shit. You can cut that shit with the knife. You know that, the tension between you and she now, okay? So like, I mean, I guess I know what the catalyst was because I heard she was with another dude. I mean He's like struggling himself off the screen. I mean while Kristen's giving Shina a pep talk She knows has like cry face and she's doing nothing. She's like slapping tears. She's like I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just like it's really hard. It's like not talking to me right now You know, I'm just gonna like slap the tears off my face. It's like you could do this you could do this. She's like okay, you know

It can't be worse than being divorced and having a broken heart and like losing rap with the love of my life for seven minutes or less Can't be harder than dividing up back allouchers It can't be harder than ordering two blankets of your printer canvas wedding photos, right? can't be harder than ordering two like that's of your printer canvas wedding photos, right? Campy So then cut back to Adam and Tom and Tom's like oh Adam tells him what's going on He's like oh asked if she slept with him and then she was like yeah, I'm old like Ugg and then Tom's like yeah, you know Cheating I get it. It's like just to make out, but you know once a penis

I'm of course you get it when it's just a me make out, but you know, once a penis, I'm of course, you get it when it's just to make out because you do that all the fucking time, Tom. Yeah. But the best is that an ultimate Tom's like, I have to say this really isn't a deal breaker. I mean, if you're if you're blocking up, she has tree in the first place. I mean, this is the, this is the best thing that could happen to you. Yeah. And then he does that thing where every guy does when he, when he's like marrying, he's like, I've learned that resistance is futile. Just come in, come in, get married. Get married, bro. Get married. Get married. That's a learn to get in. Bro, you just have to cave in and just know

you'll never be able to sit on that one spot in the couch. So Adam does a full, I believe you are the expert on this. Doesn't need to do like a full Bachelorette movie. He's like, um, can I borrow you for a second, Sheena? I'm just like, yeah, I like to even talk to Bachelorette terms. Yeah. I was like, you look gorgeous, you always do. He's like, you don't even know where to start. And she's like, for the last eight months, everyone's like, dude, you don't even know where to start, Dean, huh? And she's like, for the last eight months,

I've got everyone saying we're in love on a loom. Everyone saying, and then you're like, no, you're the one who's in love. And I'm like, no, but everybody's saying the real love. And he's like, no, you are. That's like, ha, ha, ha, ha. How old are you? Like, everyone says you're in love,

so that must mean the Adam has feelings. Yeah, exactly. And he's like, he's like, we know when you say, I don't care if it's someone, I don't know, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. And then I'm like, I told you about it at the white party. He just starts screaming at her and I'm not even totally following their conversation, but I'm really enjoying it. Yeah, it's like, I told you I didn't want you to do it white party. I mean, what would you have done if you were me? She was, I would have done, I'm sorry, don't do, I would have done, I'm sorry, I would have done, I'm sorry, I would have done, I'm here, not, I mean, what would you have done with you and me? She was, I would have been up solid. Don't do that. I would have been up solid. I would have been up solid. I mean, to be fair, I would have been up solid if you get my yogurt. Okay, I just get really jealous over things.

She missed face though when he find this screen. But Harry's like, I told you the white party. She was like, like, like, like, recoil. Like, oh, no no I'm just just not yeah she's not expecting that um she's like I was gonna invite him to the red lobster and must go for you know but I guess maybe not anymore so she's like well I get jealous you know that and he goes so you fuck yeah like he screams and then she looks around like she's like she's so embarrassed at the party I'm like she now you just told the whole party best

someone went down on you for two hours Please stop pretending that you're like so prepping proper right now, okay? Exactly and by the way, this is all happening like directly behind the DJ There's like a DJ who's there very quietly be like It was like that quiet elegant DJ from project runway. She's like I'm like yes, I'm fighting next to the DJ so she's like I'm like, yes, we're fighting like the DJ. So she's like stop stop Yeah, please stop, please stop and then Tom number two goes he's dancing with Katie on the dance floor And I did is she really upset. Okay, let's turn around so I can assess the situation, okay

So she is like, oh, don't do you love me? Do you love me? And then like These are band-a-pump out of nowhere like comes in she goes she like has this look as if someone said Haleesa Chef Joe just gave you some like beat soup she's like I mean have the beat soup yeah her broken bird meter went off she was just sitting there innocently adjusting her red bra strap and she hears like it's like a little Christian voice in her head She runs over and she's like I just did you don't love me you don't love me really no, I don't love you really do you really not love me? No, you don't love me. No, I do not love you. So you love me? No, I don't love you You love me a lot. You really do? No, I don't I don't love you. You love me. Oh my god

I can't believe it was me That I was like you were just with another guy and she's like oh, I'm so sorry That I did something to make you realize that you're feeling for me But if I didn't do that would you ever stepped up? No, so I was like maybe I'll do it just to see it and it's like fuck this Would you have ever stepped up now? So I was like, maybe I'll do it just to see. And he's like, fuck this. I'm out of here. But she goes, he goes, you're with another guy all weekend

because what I thought about you the whole time. It's a cold thing. Thanks for the consideration. No, seriously, thank you. It really means a lot. It helps him get on the show. Thank you. So he's trying to leave it, see like tackle him.

She's like, nah, nah. And they had this like, this very, at this moment where they just said stop and please. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, yeah, she can't really. She just sort of thinks that she could like hug him back into submission. And he can't, he doesn't first because they're like, stop please, stop please, like, hug me. And he's like, I need to walk away. Please. I would have loved to walk away. I just like stepped on a rake.

So, this whole thing was very bachelor. Like, I need to go, no, I can't a rake. So. This whole thing was very bachelor. Like I need to go, no, I can't let you go. But I need to walk away. No, I can't. Feed me C more, feed me all night long. So everyone, we're not in a relationship. I literally feel like we just broke up. The good news is he clearly loves me so back at sir my new favorite

ancillary character Monica the manager who is a hateful hateful woman and I love every I love every second she gets on screen and I need to be a lead stat I know you know I feel like we I feel like we first saw her last week, or that's the first time I noticed her. And she gave James such a nasty look, and I thought maybe it was a trick of editing, but this week it's like, oh no, she hates James. She hates James as God.

She knows James is coming in, obviously, because they're shooting. And so she's standing at the computer at the host to stand, and she's going through it. She's going through the squirrel, and she goes, she goes, she goes, James doesn't even work here anymore. Yeah. Gross. I like how he's trying to delete his profile or whatever. And then James come in and he's like, the reservation for two. So she like takes James and Raquel to the table and she's like, I'm actually going to

be your service tonight. We're like under staffed. Would you like any appetizers, anything like that? Anything? No, no. I actually like some goat balls. Oh no, sorry. Okay.

Out of that. What about my stream then? We're out of that. Bread then out of that. I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. You know, you guys then out of that. I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. Uh, you know, you guys may have to leave. I'm sorry. So noisy in here.

So James is all upset because he knows they're all at the party. And it's without him. And he's like, oh, they're all going to be in the party. That red nail, you like saga and your clothes. Is there? Do I want to go? Yes. Of course.

Yeah. Which I was like, you need to change your approach just like Just try to visualize an ice cream social and what steps you would take to get into it. He's like listen, we're care. I just want you to know I'm not happy. I'm not unhappy about not going to this party Because look, I'm looking across the table And I'll see everything that I want is right here. It's like that He's like looking at you know a bar. I was like the host is like not me stupid. I want these napkins Really what about chandelier from my pop map?

I like to centerpiece and the good news is I look at a little bit of an employee discount tonight And I am saying not I'm saying When she goes that's James I don't want to hear cheating allegations anymore Listen, I've never cheated on you babe and no one will ever ever say that again. I mean as far as I know Such a fucking liar and I love it and she's like Java it's gonna be harder for them to make both allegations Because now we're living together and I'm literally gonna be seeing you every day Like cut to cut to their apartment and Rick L's like I got my eye on you James

And you just see her like staring at a wall like turn around Rick out I'm gonna get a recal I moved. I moved. Oh my god He's just put in he's just put a picture of himself on their Apple TV. She's just staring at the TV like you think really good James Oh my god James turned into a slow-moving glacier. Oh god, damn, screensaver. Really, my god. Am I God if that she-na-th penguin? Speaking of which, we then go back to the party and she does now crying and Kristen's

consoling her. And like, Kristen is looking at a printout of like, like, there's like a printout of the penguin adoption. Like, she had a fault with it. She was like, like, there's like a printout of the Penguin adoption. Like, she had like, she's like, blah, blah, blah. She had clearly brought this. She's gonna present it to Adam clearly, and it was like, she didn't even get a chance to be like,

well, I got you, I'm going, you know? This is crazy. It doesn't even know, yeah, oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, I don't know what it is, yeah, I don't know what it is here. I don't want to die. And then we get a shot of Jack's doing the dance that he invented just for his own wedding shower. So he could get attention. And it's the dance with the baby I bought you dance.

It's really cute. It's great to go to the baby. Like, I bought this. I bought this baby. You're a baby. I bought the baby, but I did not buy the flat hours so So now At least so walks up to Ariana and Tom and Ariana's like

Would you like some like disgusting and warm to kill? Yeah, I Kind of feel like having an unnecessary confrontation with you right now, so Listen I kind of feel like having an unnecessary confrontation with you right now. So um listen I'm like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know expected to go into this like bra with Lisa where like Lisa's popping into Nye everything and I was like no the other day when you guys were talking

about press and you were like being dismissive of like the Tom's and like acting like they are having a bit working up. Oh yes we're like lazy fox yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what about it. Those two little squirrels went to Mexico instead of working that was huh That was Larry us it made extra Yeah, she's so Aaron's like oh shit. She's actually copying up to saying that okay, so um I just like bum me out knowing that you know, they've been like working really hard and like I bumped you out it bumped you out because you're with a bum and this name is Tom Larry Queen of snarkasm! TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP-TOOP- Who's the boss now? Yes. Well, what's I like about Tom and Tom is I have a very playful relationship with them.

Like friendly banter. You understand? And they're on a sec. Yeah, but when people see you say that, they see it as like these guys are just like a couple of idiots. It's like, yes. She's like, blink, blink, blink, yes. And, and yes. And it's like blink blink blink is and and

It's like Arianna's gonna go five years later. Yeah, I'm I was like I take playful band are very seriously Mm-hmm, and there'll be peace like I love them, but they have zero experience the fun There's a sense of humor and she's like, um, but yeah, but like now that you've worked with them like you kind of see that like they're more than just fun, right? And she's like, well I guess maybe just started, but I guess I'll have to prove that to me. They have a nice hair, I guess that's nice. Have you heard about the the evolution of the hair I am? How do we know that with that Tom?

You're right. So then, yeah, so the sh- Ariane was like, you know those guys, well, I can't speak for Tom Schwartz, but Tom Sandivall, I'm gonna go, you go, this is the night game where it's some snap, so it's like you go girl. She's like, I mean, we all know, Tom Schwartz is writing Tom Sandivall's like you go girl. She's like she's like I mean we all know Times words is writing times stand of all co-tails, but these are hardest working person I know they cut it sounds and of all but like a beer bomb like

Shorts is like waterboarding Sandeval or whatever with their beer bomb and then it goes back and she's like yeah But like especially when it comes to his love like like, he's very seriously, like, he takes the bar so seriously. And I just don't want people to look at him as some joke that you pulled out of the gutter. And she was like, well, what would you call it? Well, where did you find it? Is there better phrasing for that? Do you remember Tom and Katie's wedding and what Tom did before and he was in a river.

So then Lisa's like, oh Ariana, it was a joke lighting up. She's like, um, I'm Ariana. I don't like nub. Yeah, and I heard but holes across America Glanche because people hate when Vanderpump says that. Yeah, it's a joke. It's my sense. British humor. British humor. But each. Oh, the fucking show. Okay. This is what she does. She's always done it. It's her personality.

She hires a bunch of Dodo birds and then she knocks them down every two seconds. Where are we acting like this is new? And yes, Tom and Tom were two losers pulled out of a gutter. Tom's a very good bartender and I'm sure he's going to earn his way up the thing. But you know, that's she's not gonna Just suddenly be like oh, it's Tom Tom. I named this after them because they're too silly boys at my restaurant Everyone loves and then suddenly they're like banker, you know, it's like she said she's like it's Tom and Tom

It's not like it's Warren Buffett and Bill Gates Well Ariana Unlike a lot of other people who get like Huffy and annoyed Ariana decides to play the Vanderpump games Because she goes because Ariana is like talking and then she then Ariana starts crying. She's just going Just we just want to earn the same love and respect from you that we have for you and you know At least the Vanderpump all of a sudden like her Terminator vision just sees like tremble in and tears just sees like tremble in and tears Broke in bird in my midst Who would have thought Ariana was a broken bird? I had no idea

Oh Ariana, you're winger, swithering Come here I'm going to hug you, let me hug you broken bird Oh there, there, and so your face against my red bra And then she just walks away like a male did it. And I thought that she handled her very well. I actually thought they both handled it very nicely because I feel like

Ariana was not fresh. She was respectful. She was, I mean, to be fair, I don't think it really was Ariana's place to say that to Lisa, but if she was going to do it, if she were going to do it, she did it just right, which was, she defended, she wasn't accusatory, she defended, she defended Tom, and she phrased in a way like a bummed me out. She wasn't saying, you're a bitch, she's saying bummed me out

because I feel like they're hardworking, they deserve more respect. And she couched it with compliments. I don't know, great, great. I don't know, I just think like, you're not, I don't, I don't have a problem with her saying anything because I know that of course, like, you're getting mocked all the time

and they are working hard. They are being treated like idiots, but at the same time, of course, Tom works hard. And of course, he's not an idiot, but you're all treated like idiots. You're all on fake and corrupt rules. You're all the idiots.

I just would never talk to you. That's the whole point. I just would never talk to my significant others, boss or a business partner. I just feel like it's not my place, you know, I Don't know. I can't say what I would it's a reality show. So, you know, I mean yeah, um, and that's I can just That's a sad part of that right now. Yeah, that's a sad part of the season is like this was the biggest drama was watching Ariana politely ask Vanderpump to be nicer to Tom And everyone's like like people are on the internet freaking out like Ariana you on great for a little hooker. It's like whoa guys like it was like it was a very like mature

interaction it's like The only way I could have been any better would have been Ariana was like so Lisa Could you just pretend? Tom is Lala for a second. Yes, okay The only way it could have been any better would have been if Ariana was like, so Lisa, could you just pretend Tom is Lala for a second? Yes, okay. Tom is Lala must be nice to Lala. It's going to be interesting to see where all this goes next year because the cast is pretty much turned against Vanderpump.

And I don't know how they think we're going to do that on a show called Vanderpump Rules. Well, I'm very, very confused about how they think. They're going to, unfortunately, they're going to start needing to really breed some new, some new, new faces on the show. But they hired for Kel. For Kel, for Kel's going to be, was just waiting tables there. So I guess she'll be full time next year, which is a confirmed, just assuming. And then we've got Monica coming in there to be mean to James,

which apparently he's back. But it's just that like a show may need to start going in like a below deck direction where there's like cycling in more cast members because are the the classic ensemble. They are all sort of like nesting and going into adulthood. And it's sort of moving away from what the show was and like they're all buying houses and I don't know like like we it's you know if it keeps going down this path it's just gonna be a little bit too far removed from the initial premise. Yeah so Jack's goes dances up to the boys with his Ken Todd surrogate him but in Dando's belly button and his fresh test wax. And Tom number two is like, well, I know all this shit you've gone through in this

year, bro. You're dead. That's all sad and stuff. But this is a toast to you, bro. For me, it's so strong. You have a fuck somebody else for like six that's correct. Six months. So they're all talking, Jack's like, yeah, when I moved to LA, I just felt like, you know, I had to be this chameleon. I had to just, I was just trying to fit into groups. So I'd say whatever I could to fit into the groups, I'd just say whatever. But now I feel secure.

I'm like, okay, please not parent your therapy talk. Okay, no, no. I was just LA, it was just LA. You were only in compulsive virus because of the city you were in. Yeah, totally get it. Yeah, like all those stories about you cheating off of other kids' tests when you were a kid.

Like that was that that was totally separate. Yeah, you saying you were in AVCL? Yeah. Yeah, and then coming on Instagram and yelling at some lady who was coming after you and saying you were going to sue her when then records came out proving that you lied again. Yeah, you know, fun times. So Tom starts listing off the lies. He's like, Jackson's lies are like different level, bro. Okay. Like his parents

own 40% of CBS. Jack's the air. One of the errors to CBS. He was going to be in a pock elliptal part two. I like that the best place that Jackson see himself is owning the place you go to buy plan B. You know what I mean? I just like that he put Pocolipto into a two-inch development. I mean, he's really with Channing Tatum. He's gonna be on Samantha Fox's comeback tour. Um, he's

started spelling his name Monique with an M and then an apostrophe weird. He's rebooting. Everybody loves Raymond, but calling it Jackson. Uh, I don't even know anymore. I don't even think you can top Jackson's original lies because they're amazing. I mean, his parents own CVS. He's the CVS error. I mean, how could you even talk about that? The CVS error is like pretty amazing. My parents don't know.

40% of CVS, which I guess implies that they are just like massive stockholders. They're like CVS, we got to buy up a lot of that CVS stock rate. So they all love you guys and then we cut over back to James and Raquel and James is like this is so special what we're gonna get married one day we're gonna get married like I think so I love you so much I would never do anything to have you again third and just like we're perfect for each other Raquel you're talking to your diet coke I'm sorry yeah but I meant to yeah but we're also perfect so when it cuts to her and she's telling us she tells the camera with the straight face she goes

we're perfect for each other the link it's like those really long paws they They wait for it to get a long paws and then blink. And then she's off selling jams. She's like, I want to get a job. You know, like women today are so involved in the workforce. She acts like women only started working like three years ago. Like prior to that, they were like at home with like, like sweaters and like on like like looms. She's like I'm gonna pay away my loom. She's like I got caught in my loom again.

So then Monica comes over bitchy as a Monica. She's like so this is for you. Boom. As slam found the check. She's like oh by, by the way, you don't get the employee discount. And he goes, Oh, right. Cause I don't work here. Really. Okay. All right. She's like, see you next Tuesday, right? This is expensive. I need a shot. Yeah. That's not the street. It's expensive. I need a shot. Yeah. That's how the CD.

Rick Hull is like, I don't get it. So now we have Lisa Vanderpump with Bo. This is, I'm a little over these like scenes of Lisa Vanderpump giving her blessing to Stasi and Bo. So Lisa's like, what? You can skip it. I mean, the best part of this to me was that Lee that Stasi's like, Oh my God, that means so much. Lee said like, I mean, thank

God, because my mother's not supportive. And then we see that Stasi like hates her mom now. Like she stood against her mom because her mom came to that party where she was like, Oh my God, you're way too good for Stasi. Stasi, just don't be yourself. Yeah, that was a great turn for Stasi's mom. I love that. And so Stasi, I guess, is like done with her mom. You know, she's like, you know, it's like my mom's thing because like, my mom was there saying that negative stuff.

And then I felt myself like bringing the negativity and I was like, if you're going to say I'm like that, then I'll be like that. And so I realized that that's what I was doing. And I'm like, oh my God, that gonna say I'm like that, then I'll be like that. And so I realized that's what I was doing. And I'm like, oh my God, that is the most important part of becoming an adult, blaming your mother. Hey, trust me, I've been doing it for years, and look at me, I made it to 43.

Great evolution. And Lisa's like, oh, you know, like, I think the thing is, well, first of all, now Lisa's very excited because she's like, again, like, so many broken birds tonight, I thought they had all flown away, but they're all here. I can't believe it So she's like, you know, Sassy I've always related to you because you remind me

You mind me of me. Oh, whatever. She basically says that's not too like she's like what really? You know with your whole Bingo woman and You have long hair. Yes Tick-tacks caring like backtacks, don't you and your ability to not ever call ridder online Remind me of me You're like a little you like my second band or but with fewer cloaks. And Stasi's like oh my god that's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. And

it's like really nice to hear I'd rather be like you because my parents are on marriage number four and then both like we're not our parents. And I was like are we not because that's the road I'm on. I'm like, at this point, I've just accepted it. Is there a way out of this? Because I'm like, when is a road map? And I was like, last time I checked, I was making caustic remarks about the service at a restaurant.

So I'm not sure about that, though. Last time I checked, I was talking about recipes. I just cooked. Yep, you take the L off my name. You take the L often back of my name and it's Rhonda. Okay. I'm like, literally that bell is slipping day by day. Last time I checked, I was saying, I really enjoyed de caprio's new movie.

Yeah. We're our parents. Uh, so yeah, now the best out of the day, the best shot of the entire episode. We cut over to Gina hanging off of my mom Just bawling and my mom was looking out into space like what have I done to deserve this? what I feel like a dumpling in a chicken bowl Slime She's like I don't even know who this waitress is, but she's hanging off of me and

crying about some sort of emu. So I don't let no mind do that two years. Oh my god, you're not a penguin. Do you want a penguin? Do you want a penguin? So Jackson's dancing and he's so mad that she's going to be over there crying in the corner. Jackson, you know, if you're going to make this whole fucking season about you and you're wedding party and then you're other party and then's, you know, if you're gonna make this whole fucking season about you and your wedding party and then your other party

and then your bachelor party and then your other party party party. It's so fucking TV show and no one's interested in watching you lean against a carnation wall of who you fuck. Let she cry. She's the only person doing anything this episode. I know. And by the way, remember what you did at Shinas engagement party? You guys, you got to do.

He got the first fight. Oh, was that her engagement party? I thought that was her birthday. Oh, maybe they were ripping off where he ripped off his chunky sweater. No, she's not that sauce. No, that was sauce's birthday. You know, I may have gotten the dates all mixed up. The point is that he thought, because they just showed it a few episodes ago, he thought

during a China event, okay? Yeah, because it was actually, I'm sorry. Yeah, that was a huge blast, man. It was Shina's engagement party, I think. I think it was. Um, yeah, I don't remember. I'm gonna look off into space. I'm gonna look at you and go, that's not a hard job.

That's a great girl. Yeah. So then he's like, if I have to complain about one thing, it's Shina crying in a corner, okay? Like, get your shit together. Jack, you haven't fucked someone for five minutes. It doesn't mean you have your shit about one thing. It's Sheena crying in a corner. Okay, like get your shit together. Jack, you haven't fucked someone for five minutes. It doesn't mean you have your shit together, sir. I know.

So then they wheel out this engagement cake and it's like, Jackson, we're gonna have to cut the cake. And Jack's is like, isn't this what we do with the wedding, nothing engagement party. She's like, well, we're gonna do it now too. I was like, oh my God, she is a pridezilla.

She's like a cheery pridezilla. She's not a nasty one, but she is like, I mean like, she's, she is maximizing this experience and I'm stressed out. I'm so stressed. She's like, bridenilla, you know, she's like, bridenilla. She's just like so vanillaly excited over this. She's like, right. Like what's it, what's a, what's a nice version of a bridezilla? It's like, what is something that is like very demanding?

I think I'm sticking with bridenilla because it's like the most basic of flavors. You know, but it's still ice cream. So then Stasi goes over to talk to Jackson's dad and she's like, how proud are you? He's like, my daughter's marrying Jackson. How proud do you think I am? And she's like, oh my god, do you sound like my dad? Like, look, at this point, they're getting married. So we're just gonna have to trust it.

Or otherwise, we're gonna drive ourselves crazy. Okay, I mean, as long as written is happy, that's really all that matters. And he goes, I wish he would say that, which is a good point. Yeah, exactly. This is like, who cares if she's happy as long as I'm happy. I'm the number one guy in this group.

And then, yeah, then Stasi's like, you know, Jackson's done a lot of fucked up shit. And he said he's lied about a lot of things, but the one thing he's never done is proposed to anyone. So I think we, oh, it's a Jackson Brit to root for them. I'm like, that's like the worst logic I've ever heard. He is. But it's also Stasi giving jacks of public warning. Like this is the last time.

Like when you put your next girlfriend is going through hell. No one on band Vanderpump rules has ever been able to come on like Brittany and take no shit from anybody ever. Okay, and this is your last card, so don't fuck it up. Exactly, so meanwhile in the dance floor, everyone's dancing, but she is like, so like, yeah, I I'm here like we're even talking like I got a penguin like how many

Panko's yet to get like it's like I walk around the penguins like penguins are so great like they've been on a movie called Happy Feet but like how could have a happy Feet but they may matter me okay, and I like that she's doing my car power dance She's like yeah, I'm like she keeps pointing her finger out like making like a Megan trainer video. She's like, yeah, I was like, why, you know, why don't you do that? And now I'm in. God, I mean, really she knows save this episode. Like, this is all about she knows episode MVP. She may be the MVP of the season. Because of the season.

So then, uh, so then Jack's Polz's sister aside, because he hates that she is getting any camera time. He like, Polz's sister right away from there. because he hates that she is getting any camera time. He's like, Poles' sister right away from there. And he's, she's like, are you okay? And he's like, you know, it's just like hard because like this whole time, I've realized like, everyone's against me.

Dude, everybody just traveled and probably paid, like with gifts and stuff, to come to your fucking wedding. They've allowed you to make this entire fucking season about you. Can you not for one fucking second? Yeah, yeah. Discuss a pig. So Jenny, you're such a fun pig. Yeah, I know.

Well, my fun pig back. Well, Jenny, you're trying to be the fun pig this season, but I think we're not like we're not over last season yet. So Jenny is like, she's like, you're trying to be the fun big this season, but I think we're not over last season yet. So Jenny is like, she's like, you know, you're going to have to be my best friend now that dad is gone, you're going to be up to be my bestie. But the thing is that I don't really trust you. And he's like, what?

She's like, well, because you know, you can't keep your mouth. And I say, oh, yeah, that's right. I do have a big mouth that eats out a lot of women. And I tell secrets. That's one thing that's never gonna change So don't tell me anything. I can't help myself which is I Think I mean, it's like sort of a cute the way he's saying it But it's also like that's so fucked up like he's just like I'm not even gonna Not like I just have I have no control. Yeah, like I just will tell your secrets happily. I'll happily tell your secrets.

Yeah. So then Vanderpump gives a speech. She's like, ding, ding, broken, dingy birding. All right, everyone. It's me, Lisa Vanderpump. Ah, well, yeah, tonight, where none of us thought this would ever happen. Me, Lisa Vanderpump, standing in a room full of carnations. But... Here we are! Everyone's like, okay. Uh... She's like... Oh, well, we never thought this would happen

that anyone would be so pathetic enough to get engaged to Jack's. Oh, sorry, your whole family heard that. Apologies, British humor. And she just makes me wonder if stuff is coming out this season on Beverly Hills about her marriage because during, God, I guess it was during the summer. There were like blog. I think I recall reading a bunch of blog posts, or maybe it was Reddit comments. I literally don't even know anywhere. Maybe the CNN is best. It's definitely not CNN. But some trash I read was talking about

how Ken was always cheating on Lisa and this and that and like how Ken's a jacks type thing. And I just find it weird that this season, especially this episode, she keeps making jokes like Ken cheated all the time and she had to reel him into because right now she says they say Leopard doesn't change his spots but the leopard I'm married did so there's hope for Ken there's hope for Jackson so I'm wondering if she's trying to make it cute now that other stuff is gonna come out. Well I mean it wouldn't be that surprising because I mean they met like in like 1983 at the peak of Ken's hairstyle and he was just like fully immersed in like 1983 at the peak of Ken's hairstyle. And he was just like fully immersed in like that British new wave scene, doing weird things, like running clubs.

And he was like, he was connected to, I would not be surprised if he was a flanderer back in the day, which I do not approve of. But it seems like if he were, it seems like he settled into something good because he is very loyal to Lisa. Well, I wouldn't be surprised either. And I wouldn't really care. it seems like he settled into something good because he is very loyal to Lisa. I wouldn't be surprised either.

And I wouldn't really care. It's just interesting that suddenly she's talking like that because I don't remember her ever talking like that. Like she has made comments like before they were married before he was tied down to her and stuff like that. But it seems like she's making a few comments like that now. So I'm wondering if that's like a signal for something coming down the pike. But time will tell.

Yeah. I don't know. Um, but either way, so then Brittany starts her speech off in the saddest way. She's like, I know we've been through a lot, which is such a sad way to have to start your engagement part. I know. I know. It's also so cliche too. And she's like, I have never been happier, which is the saddest that happiness has ever sounded. Where you never made employee of the month of Hooters? I mean, you were never with an unstable relationship. So she's like, I love this main more than anything in the whole entire world.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Mm-hmm. Ah. Jackson's like, I know a lot of people think I'm going to fuck this up, but I don't care. Fuck him. It's my life. I can gonna fuck this up. I don't care. I'm fucking It's my life. I can do whatever I want. Where do I care? And then she goes she's like I truly believe she's doing her speech I said I truly believe that we are gonna leave him leave him after and I will never give up on him

I'm like to see that's like a phrase. I feel like I don't, I feel like that's not an encouraging phrase. That's what you say when your child has gotten into an accident and they're a vegetable. You know what I mean? And you're like rooting for them to come through it. You're like, I will never give up on him. Not your boyfriend, okay?

I feel like it's like, I feel like it's what you say when you're just like trying to like make that one Julia child recipe turn out well. You know, it's like, say when you're just like trying to like make that one Julia child recipe turn out well, you know, it's like, I am not giving up on this. We are making it again tomorrow till taste rat. Okay. Not a. So then what you want for your fiance.

Yeah, not what you want for your fiance. So then the Tom's are like, Lisa, I mean, the guys don't seem to mind being treated. How they're treated. Like they seem to get the joke. Yeah. You know what I mean? So they come over and they're like, we made you a beer bond, which is hilarious on the episode. The area on is like, please take them more seriously.

They're not just a flip top. And they make a pink beer bond. But it's like be jeweled and be dazzled. Yeah. So they come, they come with a, and I was thinking myself, God God these guys really spend a lot of money on props like single use props They really do like side cars beer bongs are gonna have like a novelty birdgauge or something. I don't know what's coming next Yeah, so I'm at the very top of our time here really is Tom is the carotop and Schwartz is the

Gallagher I feel like so so they come they come through and Tom's like, dude Lisa, you have to do a beerbong, you gotta do it. And she's like, why would I have to do that? Well, to prove that you were too busy doing a beerbong to speak to Rater Online, give me it. I'm sorry I manipulated you into making me this special biobong. I know, but she did it. Well the thing is this, I actually think I've only done beer bongs like only a few times, but they're surprisingly easy just because gravity forces that shit down your throat.

You don't have time to be like, oh my god this is so hard. You're like, oh, just my little pontification about beer bongs everyone. I know you want to go. You're waiting all episode. What has been really thinking about beer bongs everyone. I know you want you're waiting you're waiting all Episode what has been really thinking about beer bongs? I wonder if Ben's ever done a beer bong and how easy it was for now It's like my way of taking the moment away from Lisa Vanderpump like yeah, she did it But I was easy and I want to know So they're all excited because she does it and she's like and that's the way you leave a party good night

Sorry darling Okay Oh Okay, everybody that brings us to the end of The band of pombra Well the good news is that the reunion looks absolutely bonkers It's like just screaming and fighting and looks like there's major rifts and I can only hope that it's gonna carry over to next season. I did not hate this season as much as

everyone else did but I do agree it really lost some some gas in the later episodes here so here's to hoping next season will be full of pettiness, mean girls, bitchiness, stupid fights, alcoholism and cheating. Yeah, hall-ler, ball-ler. Okay, everybody, we will see you next time. Thanks for everything. Bye. Bye.

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