Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Paris in the Schwing-time Live in Charlotte

Episode Date: March 10, 2023

We're live at the Booth Theater in Charlotte with a Vanderpump Rules (S10E05) recap. Katie plans a girls trip, which of course turns into misery for everyone involved besides Raquel, who makes out with Garcelle's son. This week's bonus is about the Vanderpump Rules scandal and it's free for all, so check your feeds. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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Gorgeous Charlotte. I was looking at plots as I flew down. Like, God, you guys have some acreage. They do. You guys have fucking acreage here. You all just, do you have 7-Eleven's? How do you eat? There's like one house, a ton of land,

and just a road that winds around, and then another house. This is the kind of place you actually have to go to people and ask for a cup of fucking sugar. Yeah, this is the country. Well, this isn't the country. We're in the city of Charlotte, of course. Yeah, we're in the city.

We're in the city. Yeah, no, it's exciting. We haven't been here in a few years, so we're really excited to be back here. Yeah. I've seen some familiar faces already here from who came to our last few North Carolina shows, which is great. It was really exciting. I mean, I landed yesterday and I was in the Charlotte Airport. The famous Charlotte Airport. Here's our Charlotte Airport lady. I remember you.

I love your rocking chair work in the airport. I know, I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm from Texas. I love a cracker barrel theme. Actually, the airport gets a lot of credit for having a TCB wine, which I deeply appreciate. But I also really, you know what I love about it?

There was like, when I feel like the Charlotte Airport, there's like a specific type of lady who's in there who has like all short hair, but then like a little something up here, like a bird just lands on her head. And she's always like traveling like a little panic because she doesn't travel very often. So she's always sort of like moving like this.

And I feel like she always has someone named Meg with her and she can't find. Meg is always on the wrong shoulder. She'll be like, okay, so Meg, we're about to, Meg, where are you? Oh, Meg. You just see her, just chasing down Meg the entire time going like this.

It's so fun. She's just never gotten used to the moving sidewalk thing in the airport. Well, before we start this, I just want to say Ben, I love you very much. Oh, thanks for having me. But I don't want anybody to know. So just so we can have our own little secret,

I'd like to give you this light and go. Ah! Ah! Thank you, Ronnie. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Thank you, Ronnie. This lightning bolt necklace you got me is so beautiful. No, I don't wear one too even though I've got a little bit bigger of a head than you do. And when we wear our lightning bolts together, when we wear our... I'm not the only big-headed person. Now I'm gonna fucking cut my nose getting it. The real truth. I'll never tell, Dom. Stop funny, it's like a choker on me and to him it's this luxurious, Earl necklace. Wow, and when we're together, we're like two batteries charging.

We're never full unless we're together, man. So what a week, I trust nobody. I trust fucking nobody. I got an Amazon delivered the other day and I was like, Bitch! Who you've been seeing? Wow, well, welcome to tonight's town hall, extravaganza.

Before we proceed, please remember, keep all chairs on the floor. Do not throw them at the stage or at each other. Don't hit us. This is mounted time for violence against us. No. Let's remember where to focus our violence people. But please maintain your rage bright and strong against Tom Sandevol and Raquel. Thank you.

All right, so before we get into this recap, we have to get into some news, right? Because there's been a lot. I think when we originally talked about it, I'm trying to think, I think we were reading the PR statement or the blind item about the coming PR, right? No pun intended. You guys are... Ha! Ha! I need to do some PR on my coming. Make sure it's good.

So this was the thing we were reading. I think this is from Du Moir or some blind items. The thing where Raquel fired her PR team yesterday, which is not so coincidentally, was the same as Tom Sandibals. Her new team is already on the offensive, crafting a narrative that Raquel... Convenient narrative. The Raquel is also a victim in all of this. Oh no.

Now here, let me say, with the Rachel thing, there's so much to shame a person about. Yeah. Especially on Bravo. Change your fucking name. I don't care if you want to go by Raquel. My name is Rondole. Do I have to stick to that every day? And if I add a cue, I would ask that you would respect that.

OK? We respect every other change a person wants to make if they want to add a fucking cue to their name. What amount of cue? It's true. You want to shame a bitch. I'll give you a list. Yeah. I've got an entire apple section dedicated. So yeah. So anyway, they're saying she's gonna make herself a victim because they were saying that they're using this face time to send to each other and what was the other thing? She's saying that she not gave her a black eye Which she not giving anyone a black eye is hilarious. It's probably just residue from an enchilada

Which I got if she not threw an enchilada, Raquel. I fully support that. We do not support violence, but I feel like an enchilada to the face. That's more comedy than violence. That's more violence. That's gonna hurt the enchilada more than your face. Yeah.

So yeah. So yeah. The black guy stuff happened where her family is gonna sue Shina for my God. And now they're saying, but she always has black guys. I mean, the internet's a wild fucking place. Yeah.

I was just looking at all these posts. I was showing Ben, I was like, how do we even talk about this, Steph? Cause I feel like you have to show it. People are literally making posts about Raquel with like 10 pictures of Raquel from over the years. And they're like, look, it looks like she has a black eye in this one too.

I know. You're gonna blame sheen for that? That's a tape. A deep fake black eye. And then of course, everybody's getting so thirsty about it, right? You've got every single member, I'm surprised Vail hasn't come out with a podcast yet.

Not Vail. I do. She's a soap star. But I did listen to Mary Post a podcast. C'mon! Seriously? Seriously? The podcast.

Seriously, Tom? Seriously? Sir. Kristen Dowdy's podcast, if you haven't heard it. Kristen just waiting. Kristen has just been waiting for something like this to happen for her to finally like ascend back up. Be welcome back by the Bravo community.

This has been Kristen's moment. Well, you know that Ariana got home from that night with Tom, they're all fighting in the car and they get to their house and the village, you know, the Valley Village or whatever. And Kristen just pops up from behind a tree with a straw on a drink like. All floppy. I know what you did last summer, seriously. Your friend is here. I did eat in a restaurant last night here called Mariposa, so I felt unbrand.

So yeah, Kristen actually is a really good podcast, you know. It doesn't add that much stuff, new, but it added enough. And also, I got to hear Kristen again, which I haven't heard. And she had that SE Cup lady on there who I've seen, but only on my blog news and stuff. Sorry, no, for me. She's like a news commentator on CNN, right? Oh, get that.

Oh, is it CNN? It's something like why? Well, I see you right? Oh, get that. No, it's a CNN. Something like, why? Well, I see you're always arguing with people on our timeline for it, because I guess she likes Bravo too. She'll like be Newsy, but then, throw on some Bravo shit, which I really like. I'm like, that must really help your credibility there, see? Yeah.

But see was on there, and she's like, oh my God, Kristen, I've thought of nothing but you. LAUGHTER Kristen, I know this time Ariana's thing is bad for Ariana, but how are you? Like, how are you? Because you're a human being. And Kristen's like, whoa. I mean, me and Tom are like, young.

We're like stupid. Like, I cheated on Tom, I'm cheating on me. We're like fucking everybody. You know, like, this is different. This is 10 years. This is time, years. This is the house. This is, it's like, Kristen's still christening.

Not fucking loving for office. Yeah. I have a question, actually I have a genuine question. Would you be in favor of or against Kristen coming back to the show? A genuine question. Yeah. Okay.

Just curious. Yeah. There we go. I think faith should get to decide personally. Probably she should. Yeah. So what else here? Okay, so all the people are coming out of the woodwork, so not shockingly at all, guess who else? Jack Taylor. Jack Taylor. Jason Caldwell. Because everyone thinks this somehow exonerates them Like it somehow it's like the guy who was sitting in Nancy Pelosi's office like you know guys after sand of all I think I've been proven correct right? I'm so sorry you guys, but I where's that playlist hold on let me look at shared playlists you guys are 90 years old I don't know why I'm trying to do anything.

What are you looking for? That thing that I was sending you the shared album, Pops Handle. Yeah, Pops Handle. Oh, there we go. Yeah, okay, what do you want to read? I'm not going to waste everybody's time with all of this, but I am going to waste your time with this shit

because it was amazing. So I'm sure you heard this go viral this week. La la, la la, it's just. Yeah, yeah. La la, la la is just... Yeah! La la. Yeah! Okay, I'll turn it up. La la's anger is so, like her faux outrage.

She's like, really bitch! You want a piece of me, that's a con, can't get it! Like, she's like furious all day and like her, you know, her jogging pants and her bed. It's cracking me up. So apparently, God, I'm sorry. So this is why we have this face. Like, I want to have a spitting mat, you know? Almost got to you.

It would have been love spits. So where is it, Goddamn it. I can't look good. OK, no, no, don't you. OK, me. So L't you okay me so Lala Lala apparently everybody got emails from Rick Hell's lawyer saying if you share because Arianna set this either to Raquel or I'm probably to Raquel being like bitch I see what you did with Tom or whatever which by the way Kristen said is both and Rikkel jerking off to each other on FaceTime.

Ugh. It just made it worth more money. I mean, it just widened this audience, this one I'm saying. Wow. I'm not suggesting anyone release it, unless you want to be super famous. Nope. Like a Kardashian, for example.

Keep it. No. Keep it to yourself. I don't need to see it. My email is watch a crap and sit team Mel duck. Attention. Ron is dude. Okay, so... Do you think it's a big? We don't need to talk about it.

I don't... I don't... Well, there's been no evidence of big dick energy, so I'm gonna say no. That's what I'm gonna say. He does have big dick energy though. Yes he does. I didn't say big dick outline. What are you so mad about? Big dick energy. I just mean he has the confidence to think he can sing well enough to have a traveling band. That's just called being a straight man. That's just called being a straight man.

No, sorry, Dan, here at any husband. Well, where do you think confidence comes from? And don't say you're parenting, because that's bullshit. OK. OK, I want to play this la la video, because I love it. Oh, please. A little Mickey Mouse lawyer. That if he has stuff to send over,

he can send things to my lawyer. Same with the rest of my friends and cast. All right? I've never in my life had a lawyer contact me in my personal email. All right. The violation. How this works, I know you're pretty brand new to the game. Didn't last long, look what you did with your fucking 15 minutes. You have something to send over you can send it to my lawyer that's why we have counsel. I don't want to deal. I have a life going on. I got a little baby to take care of. I want to see that in the morning? I wanna see that ever. Send it to dare. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Send it to dare. I love, I have never had a lawyer send something to my personal email. She's acting like she lives on a special, like a gated community and a avon lady came by. Also, you're in the middle of legal proceeding, so I don't understand how that works, but that's fine. The sentiment remains.

All right. So there were, since we had our big Scandival episode earlier this week, there have been not one, but two different apologies. And listen, listen, everyone deserves to be heard, okay? So, because you remember the first time Santaval apology was like, I'm sorry, the Sony music. I'm stupid, I'm sorry to the stoplight at Coenga and Franklin. Barry Manolo, apologize, bro, apologize.

I want the first and foremost, which is funny because it's actually second and last, apologize to everyone I've hurt through this process. Most of all, I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes. I wore a lot of guy liner. Selfish. I was reckless. I sang some great songs. Opened a great bar. But no one deserves to feel that pain so dramatically and publicly doomed. It goes on for a really long time, and it's mostly this stuff, which might have worked if you had said that in the very beginning, instead of, you know, apologizing to fucking Martha Stewart. First, you fucking weirdo. So not buying it, hope your restaurant goes broke.

Okay, so what's the next one? I like when he goes, I am beyond sad that it ended the way it did. It's not like a meteor hit earth. It's like a... It's like a... It's like a... It's like a vegan... it's like a vegan sadness. It's like, I'm beyond sad. And this is safe for all of the meat eaters

and non-me eaters out there. It's a sadness that transcends your choice of comedy. Okay, so then Raquel finally said something. Now, you can say what? You got Rachel in. You really mean so mean to Rachel Now, you can say what, who the heck you got's Rachel in. You really mean so mean to Rachel's, you know? I won't do to Rachel's what you got's did to Karen's. You know, my parents, if I were born a girl,

my parents said they would have named me Rachel. So I refused to have Raquel be my almost. Yes, so what my parents would have named me. Rachel, what do you think the plan was for me? Fucking rondole, get the fuck out of here with that name. One fur coat away from being that woman. And me a fur coat and a red wig. OK, so anyway, you can say what you want about.

Ruck. Cool. But bitch knows how to make a dollar. I mean, thank God, because it's been a while that she's been working for free on this show. Because I don't think she's ever been paid more than $5. So her statement was not just for us. It was paid through entertainment tonight.

I don't know how much they pay. But listen, I want my statement to come out with a little blue check mark next to it. Yeah. I want it to be accompanied by a John Tash theme song. I want to apologize for my hands. Okay, I continue. Continue. These are gibbons. They're all there. So, Raquel says, I want to apologize for my actions and my choices for most to Ariana and to my friends and the fans so invested in our relationships.

That felt passive-aggressive and I didn't appreciate that. All right, I'm going to skip some of this. I get to more of her meat because it's so... I really did not mean that. Okay, so I'm reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor, and I'm learning things about myself, such as my patterns of codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved.

I have sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy without regard for my own well-being, sometimes negatively affecting others and often prioritizing, okay, you did not write prioritizing. Like you just did ends. How much of this am I supposed to believe, lady? Okay. Also, I guess you also like feeling loved. Literally every person.

Falaughful. I discovered I like falafel. I'm learning a lot through this process. Tell me more. I tell me more. Although I chose to be on a reality show by sending myself to it and dating everyone on it, I've accepted the good and the bad. And I have been physically assaulted.

I've lost friendships. I dated Peter. It's tough. It's a lot. I'm taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices. Carl, you didn't need a hamburger. You fuck somebody's boyfriend for like six months. This is not a Ben and Jerry's in the middle of the night, Rick Hell.

Okay. I will learn from my mistakes and if anyone has Guillermo's phone number, please send it my way. Thank you. So, I have begun counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, learn to set stronger emotional boundaries and learn to protect my mental health. Stop fucking people's war friends! That's what you need to do! Don't be on reality TV. That's what you need to do. Don't be on reality TV. That's all. I don't need sympathy, but I want to focus on my own health and well-being because I'm a victim, you know, basically.

So, good luck to you. Okay. But, you know, good for them, because sometimes statements take a really long time when you're waiting for other people to write some bullshit down for you. So, good for you guys getting those in a week later. But any who previously on Vanda Poco! Previously. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence comment.

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Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible.

I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet.

And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today.

Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. I want to go on a trip. Girls trip! But not Shina, sorry. Hey, Rick, how did I talk about how there was this like rumor online that you guys were like making an acachala? Would you make the rumors trail? Shina, you are a little troll.

I'm a troll! Hey, Tom Schwartz, you just want to make out. We might as well just get it over with, because then Katie will have something to bitch about. Are we still filming still? You're paying the rent and Greg owns the lease. Who's heard my little broken bird he's come to Mama Van der Pracht.

Ah, I don't want to be a cautionary tale in my marriage. I don't want to be a cautionary tale in my marriage. I don't want to be a cautionary tale in my business. I don't want to be a cautionary tale for faking a fair for my friend. Allegedly. And I'm seen. And seen. Oh, God, every time they play that, these are the best days of our lives on this show. I just... And it's not just because this candle, it's literally every episode.

I'm like, oh! Yeah. Just when you think it couldn't age badly. Enough. Then another week comes out. I'm like, oh! It's a first time, oh man. You know, Jack's at home, I can't.

He's like whittling some shit. So we start this episode, which by the way has many cringey moments. This, by the way, the rest of the season is gonna be crazy, right? Like this is, we're all gonna be watching for every little thing and cringing every other scene. I mean we already cringed, is there something on my- I'm so sorry.

It's probably potato chips, because I was like, I stuffed my face beforehand. When you got here and just rolled around in those potato chips, and that was like a little fuzz. I just get your shoulder in there. Go ahead, pick a way. That was like a little fuzz. Can I just get your shoulder in that? Go ahead, pick away.

So we're at climbing yoga fitness. And it's Gina. And so she's like walking into this like, play, and she's like, hey, hey, so today, we're going to go climbing. So there's like a wall, bringing up on the wall, we're going to climb. It's not like Mount Everest, like don't worry, but we did hire a Sherpa.

That's me safe. Rocks right behind her like, yeah, yeah babe. Gonna do some rock climbing, babe. Yeah, babe. This could not be more of a Vanderpump rules episode. This whole episode, everything was so good. Okay, also we have to mention the song that's playing throughout all of this beginning.

OK, this song goes, could this new tricks he monical? Yeah, I'm not sold yet, you know? I'm not sold yet. But I probably, like, if I was alive back on the Beatles day, I would have, like, missed the original Beatles, you know. I'd have been like, I don't accept this wringo person. You know? So I'm still curious to out, but her songs, I will say this.

Just because Ariana does it, not our Ariana, but the singer won the pony tail. The wrong day. Ariana Grande does it. Does it mean you can? You have to enunciate, okay? This is this girl. She's like,

it's fatty, ha ha ha ha ha a hell of a hell of a hell. Hello, I'm a fatty. It's like, are you even trying anymore? Yeah. Are those words or are they just scribbles? No. I feel like they're just scribbles across a bit. Bravo only pays for sort of like, phonics and no words.

Hello everyone, welcome back to our channel. Hi, I'm here before the event's wall today. I'm going to be on the horn and it's all be safe. So she starts climbing up this wall and she's like, Brock is sitting down like, tying her shoes or something. You're doing great, babe. Are you vlogging me? Don't just sit there and watch. This is like good content.

Ah! Ah! Don't just sit there and watch. This is like good content Babe Lincoln subscribe. I'm doing this for you summer moon What's her kids name again, you did it babe and they're, everyone cheers in the place. Sheena is living her best life. She has found a person who's hot. I don't know that he really pays me bills. I'm not going to lie about that part. But he does follow her around with the camera.

And it's not even an iPhone. Like we're using. She actually has like a little camera. It's like a professional camera. But it's like, that's my professional camera, because it's not an iPhone. It's like professional if you're a content creator. I'm a vlogger, so.

I'm a vlogger. That's what we use. We upload this to the grid. So. Yeah, this is going on the grid. Elsewhere in Los Angeles, Charlie is going on a little hike with Katie at Runyon Canyon. And Charlie's like, oh my God,

like this is like so dusty. She's in her scene. You know, we all know that outfit from there. Huh. Is that what it, how is it? She in. Is it she in? Or she in?

She in. She in, right? But it's spelled like Judge Judith Shionlin, you know? Yeah, because I was always like, you know, that's But spelled like, judge drew the shine one, you know? Yeah, exactly. I was always like, you know that site shine, Shane? Never been in, because she's in. She's in? She's, she's in.

She's your in. So yeah, she's like, it's dusty. And who cares, really? OK, he's like, just put him in the washing machine. And Charlie's like, I live in an apartment, Katie. Okay, some of us still don't get paid to be here, so And then we have our first truly cringes were the scene of the episode Over at a place that they should never have gone to the first place because it's called cammy and jacks

and we have to assume it's named after Jacks and someone he fucked in Vegas at some point. Cammy. And it's Raquel and Ariana and they're shopping. Look at it. It is K-I, which makes sense. K-I? K-I. Like, I came. Like this out. How could you say that when we have come from away next door? I cannot believe we're in the same theater as I've come, I've come from away, I've come, I've come from away. I love that shit, of course I don't know the song to it really, but here I know this dance move from it For those listening at home Ronnie is doing a sort of like a music man inspired little march dance. I have to it's very rattled I can't believe we're here. Okay, who's here? The second James Earl Jones the second the second shit

He's in the come from away here. Yeah. Not James Holtz. James Holtz, so he's like, welcome to CNN. So like, I've come, I've come from away, I've come. So. I don't care what the chair is, I do not ever fit in them right. And it's not, I'm not being mean about like my muffin top, like literally the kind of scrunchies, like I'm squatting on the ground and I feel the bout to poop.

Sorry. Well, listen, so, I'm sorry, I wasn't saying listen to you, I was saying listen to, I was like saying listen to the air. So I can do that drug addict in the back, but I be you. So Ariana and Raquel are shopping for bathing suits. And Raquel is like, have you ever been to Lake Havasu before? And they're just like talking about it and everything this bar.

Raquel is like, no, what do we do? And Ariana's like, well, there's a country bar. So they'll be like straight guys there. You know, you can whoop it up and Rikal goes, whoop, whoop, whoop. But you know, a lot of them won't be married, whoop. Sorry, I was like, you know, I cannot believe what you told Katie last night. I like when she does her sideways, like,

I cannot believe what you told Katie last night about how you asked Swartz if you wanted to make out, and then we see the clip of her cut line. I have a confession to me. I asked Swartz if he wanted to make out. And then Ariana. And Ariana says, I was like, am I about to be mad at Raquel for the first time? I think by the way, by the way,

one thing that we have not stated, we've done a pretty good job so far of stating how angry we are at Tom and Raquel. But one thing we have not done is praise Eric Queen Arianna, who is the real victim in all of this. So, Queen Arianna. So she's like, we've been encouraging Rick Hill, like go out there, make mistakes, but then she says that and it's like

And Raquel's like well for a moment I felt it was unfair for Katie to determine who Schwartz getting out with or who Schwartz can like not and Ariana just goes, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Trying to understand you, because you seem like a sweet person. But anyone else will throw you in front of cars right now. Yeah, just. This is then Raquel tells us. Katie and I were never close as friends, because she always had to be with James, and she didn't come to my Poppy Party, which we all know a Poppy Party is the litmus of good friendships. Just also, it's like really difficult to know

what she's really thinking and feeling because she's got like a good poker face. It's like, okay, well, here's a good way to tell. If you're asking to make out with her ex-husband, she's not gonna like that. Just gonna start right there. Speaking of poker face, they should have that lady on this show. She had to figure this out months ago, you know?

Hey, it's me. I hope you guys have a moment. Yeah, what's going on in here? Was this a fucking restaurant? Is that what this is? Was there a fucking straw umbrella in these drinks? That's fucking amazing. Oh, you're fucking him, right?

Fucking him. Yeah, the Natasha lady. Natasha, where are you going? Natasha, where are you going? Yeah, okay, what's going on here? So, so now she, she is now hearing about the trip from Lala, cause she is, yes, sorry, someone just sighed, like, ah, so Lala, she's face-timing with Lala,

and Lala's like, so did you hear about the girl's trip you weren't invited to? Yeah. Yeah, I recall telling me, she also said, hey, they're not coming to the wedding, but just totally fine, because I've already taken her off the last, so. She's just doing that.

You want to come from me? You don't get to come to a wedding. Yeah. It's like the ultimate power on this show. Like, she's not going to get to come from me? You don't get to come to a wedding. Yeah. It's like the ultimate power on this show. Like, she's not going to get to come give me gifts and make everything about me and pay $500 for a room and a new outfit. Take that bitch. Yeah, bro, can I, we're like throwing an epic wedding in Mexico.

Like, we're going to get like, fire dancers and like, water drums and like maybe a mod of yatchee band. Crops and diapers probably it's gonna be amazing. Crop tops. Duff and bridesmaids. Mums and some brarrows. But you know what we're not gonna have? Katie Mimoney's bitchy eyes. I think she really gets on when she opens her eyes real wide, just like shakes her ponytail back.

Like, bam, were you vlogging that? I said, bitchy, ass. So then we cut to the scene and she is crying on the phone with Blah, because she's acting all tough in the confessional. But to La La, she's like, I don't mean to be like, we feel bad about myself, not me. I'm still willing to get over and be peaceful

but she's a fucking bitch. And you know it because you've been on the receiving end of it, La La. La La's like, are you on top of a climbing wall right now? I'm literally barely hanging on right now. I don't know how those cats do it. So Laal is like, OK, so where it's getting lost is that you're saying you have empathy for her and her divorce,

but then you're going and trying to facilitate some sort of intimacy between your best friend, Raquel, and Tom Schwartz. And I was just cheeky. I was like Tom Schwartzk, you know? But I was just cheeky, I was like, wink, wink, not smudge. Wink, wink, wink, not smudge, you know? This is like Abedin Castello for she, you know? And she was like Schwartz even said the other day, if Raquel and I end up do making noise,

because Katie drove me to it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha years, right? So give it up for that, you know. She's been there a long time. For Katie to be on Runyan Canyon, a. Who made Katie get up? You know Katie only films on her couch if she's not at one of those restaurant events. And I stand for Katie for that one, okay? You know that is something I will always agree with Katie about. A bunch of common ground people, okay? We both love couches. She's stuck on Rungan Canyon hiking and she's stuck with fucking Charlie. Are you kidding? Katie is pissed.

You know Katie is like texting her agent over and over. Yeah, and so Katie is like, so you're gonna come to Lake Havasu and Charlie goes, oh, I want to, but I have an audition on Tuesday. It's for Gwen Stefani's new makeup brand. Yeah. She's like, but after my audition, yes. Who's all going? Everyone but Sheena, I mean, what are you gonna let Brickal go?

After Brickal did all that, nothing so far yet. Okay, do not boo yet, because we don't know that Rikkel's really done anything yet. So why are you gonna let Rikkel go? And Kitty's like, she tells us, it's like in Zoolander. You can't blame her. Which was my very first thought when I saw this. But it's also like one of those, everyone's like, why is she even with Tom? This is why she was with Tom. This whole paragraph.

It's like in Zulander, you can't blame Zulander for trying to kill the prime minister of Malaysia because it was Megato who brainwashed him. Raquel is Zulander and she knows Megato and she needs to be taken to, if this is not Zoolander, A. This is an inconvenient narrative, I would say. And if there's a Zoolander in this story, it's Tom, and you've been trying to Mugato him and to assassinating the prime minister of Azusa, Ms. Shinas, A.

Yeah. Yeah. So Katie explains to Charlie why she's inviting Raquel, but not Sheena to Lake Havasu, and she says, we're just becoming friends, and I really like Raquel, and I'm giving her an opportunity to show that this isn't who she is. I'm just going to love that just sit there. I love it when we just don't even have to come over the punch line. We just let it just sit there.

Yeah, I just let it just here roll over you all. You're like, no, I'm just squandered. But at the back and then it gets up there and goes around. It's like, surround sound of negativity. I just fucking love it. Charlie's like, I'm just a girl. Sorry, big audition on Tuesday. Katie, don't speak.

Was that convincing? Was that convincing? Not sure. Hall of Back have a sue, girl bitch. Okay. This news about Rachele going to have a sue is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Oh! I think I'm ready, yeah. So then we go to Ariana and Rakell in a bikini shop, right?

Is this that one? Yes, okay, so they're like a bikini shop. And they have a sue. Guys, just a tip, if you ever go to Lake Havasu, you literally don't need to buy anything new. Okay. You can grab a plastic bag from the public, or whatever your grocery store is. Just hide around your boobies and go out there

and have a good time. Lake Havasu is... They're low standards. Isn't that where Vicky Gunnelson got hit in the face with a football? Yes. And Tamra's son was like, look, I got my baby's name tattooed in my mouth.

Oh, God. What could go wrong? Why does that lady have her baby in her mouth, like every time? So then, this lady from the shop is so excited to be here, you know, and have her shop on TV. So she's like, oh, um, uh, Ariana, you don't want to try on any suits. And she goes, no, not today. Are you sure? No, are you positive? I'm bleeding. And she goes, oh, yeah, you have to be in the mood. The mood to not literally be menstruating, fuck off lady, clear this. So now we go to Villa Rosa.

Oh, little baby! Little Chagy! How in the world did LVP allow her daughter to name her child? Teddy. I know. Are you kidding me? Hi, I'm Petty. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So, uh, least... Finally a teddy with leaks that she likes. Searches like teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, teddy, Someday you shall be grown up

And a little broken bird I can call my own, you sweet little thing So, like, isn't he a dog, a cat, a little cat teddy? He can't say... Oh, that's baby. Look at that, come on, I'm doing it. Baby, a baby. Look at that. I'm a baby. Look at that. Baby. Looks like a little thump. I'm just trying to be a baby thump.

I've never seen one like that before. Was that ours? Did we have that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that? What was that?

Well done, darling. Well done, darling. The Neurolls Royce for you. That baby. That's a good baby. Looks like Max. That baby. It's a good baby. Looks like Max. That baby. It's a little girl.

It's a little girl. Still taking that one. Still taking it. Good for him. Charging. Charging. So Lisa loves being a grandma. And she's like, you know what I say?

I say to my little grandson, you've done us thingy. It's not funnily pinky. Keep it in your tummy and save it for your mommy. Now go bust tablet. Poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo- Your waters are refilled, little Teddy. Come on, Teddy. Cut to serve, he's a better pump. I'm so sorry, your pump teeny will be here in just five minutes. The baby is bringing it now.

Come on, Teddy. Bring it on. Oh, but, Ken, something important has happened. I saw Tom and John lose poor little. They can limp in one wing. Oh, like him limping in one wing. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr So then we go to Tom Tom where my favorite possible sociopath is. Yeah. Brett. He's like, did you guys see everything on Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Did you guys see everything on the checklist That we need to get taken care of in order to get this place open? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna open the place soon.

Right, I'm not gonna lose my mind. This is all moot without food in a drink program. Yeah, bro, yeah, bro. We bro, working on the felt pat right now. It's gonna be open in no time bro. Dude, I got this cool machine where you can take a hamburger and liquefy it and put it in it and make it into a frozen shot. Dude, it only costs $45,000. I'm just so sad about getting divorced.

It's a concentrate YouTube joke. So then it cuts back to LVP and she's like, this whole thing is a fiasco, darling. They're already at odds with their partner, Greg. Well, I can't they buy Greg home. Oh, where they're gonna get that money from? Surely not from their dealer, Tom Tom. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They need two or three hundred thousand dollars poor things. Surely we can find a way to help them. LAUGHTER

Ehh... It should go. Are you trilling your mustache, darling? Ehh... And she's like, I want to help the boys, but I don't want to be partners with them. I mean, this isn't my venue. This isn't my day call.

I don't see any giant endulines or strange chandeliers or oversized porcelain dogs anywhere. I can't just go in there and say you need more oversized pots blocking pathways. Where are my plates? Where's the purple highlights and the pink highlights and the strange trees? It's not that small Philips you Greg know I have to keep that hole inside no I'm gonna say all right. I guess we should just go take a look there We have cameras in there. Yeah, well, we do it for the cameras. We actually have to get up and go get up Can we have to actually go there

Get up, Ken, we have to actually go there. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 is starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm for a crap and scum her show. So now we go to James and Allie and Slow Mo. Like a sexy new couple, James and Allie. They're like, walking Slow Mo into like a burger joint. Like, here we are to be blue-fen love with the canyon gloves, sacred ground. James gets little poses every time he's walking into a scene. I love it.

So, they're having lunch with his mother, which is fucking terrifying, okay. Yeah, you guys got a Jacqueline scene. This is amazing. Listen, all of us can be a little afraid of our mothers. I guarantee every single one of us in here have it easy compared to James, because wow. Wow. Yeah, so James, so he says he's not gonna drink because his mom is sober, and so he's like,

he goes, you know, to keep it respectful, but if she goes off, I'm gonna call him a fucking whore. He's like, from respectful. So he's ordered like an agua fresca, because everything, he's like, I don't mean something without alcohol. So she's like, well, we do agua fresca, sir. He's like, I don't know what that means, just bring it. So she because everything, he's like, I don't mean something without alcohol. So she's like, well, we do agro fresca, sir. He's like, I don't know what that means.

Just bring it. So she does. And he's like, is there alcohol in here? She's like, no, it's an agro fresca. Still don't know what it is. I'll take it. And then, the producers on this show are just so evil in the best way.

Because when he talks about how he wants to be respectful to his mom, we then put this flashback up of his mom saying, you don't ever have to drink again, and you're gonna have the most amazing life and your kids will never have to see you drunk. That was so mean that they put that in there. And I was laughing.

So he's like, well, I don't think my mom is ever going to drink again. All right. So whenever I go sober again, then I'll just meet her up in sober life. But right now, no. No. So she comes in and then that's when James turns into like a little perfect British schoolboy, you know, with any of his like- I thought she flowers from the grocery store, my dad. They were from a traffic median, but that's fine.

And Jack lands like, do you have horr-tra-ta? I'll have that. See you look great. Yeah, I've been doing a lot. Okay, I've been DJing a lot. Okay, I've been DJing at Sir. DJing at my new residency on Sunset, spinning records at Yogutland and LeBraya,

dropping beats at Quiznos, gotta get state farm. But in Cornies and parking meters, you know how it goes, but it's a bit awkward because Ricanna's working at Sirn when she's not there, she's sitting on the couch outside the guys room with the hotel Ziggygy who's always walking around in his bathrobe.

You never mean mom. She's like, I don't care. So, little one. Ali, mom, you. Have you met Rick Aliyah? Just one and terrifies me, okay. I was nervous the whole time. And I wouldn't mind if somebody beat James F's,

but not her. I'm like, whole time. And I wouldn't mind if somebody beat James F's, but not her. I'm like, oh no, get away. What? Luckily, I'm pretty sure Ali was just, I'm pretty sure Ali was just right to be like a hummingbird in the window because she was like, yeah, Matt Rickhal. So, I was just like, oh yeah, she knows.

They went open and had a whole conversation, didn't they? Didn't they? Oh, conversation is talk, talk, talk. Too stupid, that girl's talking all the time. So Jacqueline's like she's like oh it wasn't an interrogation or anything like that and now it's like kind of I mean I think she was trying to you on oh it flew away okay come on say focused. I love she's like it's not an interrogation, right? We see the scene and we're like, yeah, I mean, he's subbed to Thala, did he tell you that?

Also, do you feel like you trust him? What are your four favorite numbers right in the row? What's your mom's maiden name? Press two for Esponio. I guess it was a fucking interrogation. Yes it was. So, so, Jacqueline has this, she's like, well, you know what's good about you new person? Little thing in that seat. Little one. Little thing. So, you know what's good?

Because you guys met organically, you know, that's something, you know, I love that. I love you weren't just dragged to pump to see a DJ, you guys met organically, you know, that's something, you know, I love that. I love, you weren't just dragged to pump to see a DJ. You guys met organically. I love organic things. Is this have alcohol in it? Does this have alcohol? I love organic things. Rekel not organic.

You know, like a family member didn't drag you to pump to me the DJ, because that to me is an organic. That's not an organic. It's like, woman, you're fucking pickled. First of all, to be talking about organic. OK. I like when people start drinking for two years, and then they're fucking the gorillas in the midst lady,

only eating like the purest things. And like, they're like the purest souls who's ever lived. Yeah. No, Ali, actually, to be fair, Ali met James very organically, according to her, my friend Zach dragged me to a Gore Hills for James' show in the rest of his history. You met the exact same damn way, OK? It was just your sister, your gay,

and not your sister, your sister. So then Ali's like, no, Jack, and I was like, oh my god, this ceviche looks wonderful. This doesn't have alcohol, does it? It's a Vee-chee, man. You'll be fine, okay. Also, I dropped my napkin. Napkin doesn't have alcohol in it either.

It's like, you don't even drink that. Yeah. So she's asking James, like, so like, you're drinking again. Is that what you're doing? You're drinking again? And he's like, he's like, yeah, yeah, and I'm doing really good. I'm doing good. I'm like, I'm doing, I'm doing all right. I'm doing, I'm doing like, really, really all right right now. I'm like, okay, because you're shaking at the table.

I'm good, I'm good. You're not all right. I'm really all right. I'm really doing, I'm really, I'm good. I'm doing a good, I'm doing a good. Yeah, I'm good. All right, I'm not like some stupid person who can't drink. What do you want me to get a bottle of ding-dong on it? You said what I need to do.

I'm not going to do that, alright? Yeah, and then he tells us he goes, Why? No, it's not why. I mean, if I was a wise old man, if I were like Mr. Yoda, I wouldn't be drinking. I'd probably move to Budapest if I were wise, but I'm not. So, if you were Yoda, you would move to Hungary and become a monk.

I can James. So Ali's like, well when I first met James, I thought it was so cool that he was sober. That was the best thing about him. He never really got a turn to get drinks bought. But now he's not. And like, he told me, like in Vegas, I think, I'm not really looking at my notes, but like he told me that he had his first drink that night

on like his birthday or something, but I didn't even know, and I was sleeping right next to him, and he had just told me. So like, how am I supposed to know? I guess I just have to have faith that there have been no red flags in our relationship. So.

So. This girl is basically just coming on this show, auditioning to play his ex-girlfriend. She's not even trying. She's like, let's get to the ex part. I don't want to have to date this fucker for a whole season. The patterns. The patterns on this show.

And so, and so, Jack and space, like, listen, James, my beautiful son. Like, just be careful, it's a slippery, it's a slippery slope, you know? And he's like, he's like, Jesus, okay, you know what? You know, I think it's made us stronger. You know, you can't have an ultimate in situation, you know, all the maidens don't work out.

All right, look what happened to, look what happened to, look what happened to shorts, look what, is that where it happened right now? Am I just doing the real deal to make them later? But James is in the same place this entire episode, where he's just like, oh really, you want me to quit drinking?

Shorts cheated on his wife then. Do we catch that? Do we catch that? Supposed to be shacking my slot ex-girlfriend. We caught that yet, we. Yeah, I was like, wait a second. James doesn't do this. I was like, yeah.

Yeah, he's going off the whole episode. And Jack Lam's like, no, listen, I would never tell you to do anything you didn't want to do. Because you're your own person, and it's your journey. And I know you need to do what's right for you. I'm not going to preach to you, also because you're paying this entire family's bills. Can he get the check please? You're gonna get the check, thanks.

Great mothering there, Jacqueline. So, all right, let's go over to Shorr. I mean seriously though, are you gonna sit down with your son who is a massive fucking alcoholic on television for years and be like, drink again, you do you. Hell no, I've called Dr. Phil and he's got a fucking white man standing out there. You can either get in there, you're down so I'm gonna use the space ball bat, okay? So then we go to shorts and sandies,

which looks like a disaster. This box isn't should ever be right. Yeah, sure, why not? Bonus boo, bonus boo. And, bonus boo. So, so Lee's gonna be like, This isn't should ever write, yeah, sure, why not? Bonus boo, bonus boo. And, bonus boo. So, uh, so Lisa and Ken walk in, at least says like,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is this done? Is this him here? It's white lighting. Oh, I thought I'd protect myself

by wearing my fanciest, valour blazer with ruffle cuffs. But it's not enough to protect me from these disastrous stone walls. Do you by any chance have a fence that's wardened from the 1800s that I could walk through to get empty? A fence? Where's the wrought iron work in the middle of the restaurant? to get into. Fence. Where's the wrought iron work in the middle of the restaurant? What about very small chairs?

So Lisa's like, Oh hello boys, just literally going to go to dinner in this weird Afghanistan, is that way we are? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER You know she hates Hollywood. Yeah. She's been there one time on the show. I will never forget.

I mention it all the time. But Lisa driving through fucking Hollywood the first time on this show. She's like... And where that bar is? The guarantee there's no place that she can't go into dinner around there. So then, sand of the shorts, like, oh, Lisa, oh yeah, look, hey, look at our booth. There's almost fabric on it.

Look, and there's the fabric. It's in a spool. Do you like it? Isn't that cool? It's just like, oh darling, you've got lots of patterns going on here. Both literally and figuratively. But also, who are you to talk? She's back to her, like, magicians jacket,

her clown sleeves that are like, clown, did you notice? I was so excited. I know. Because Ben a couple of weeks ago was like, oh, she's moved past her magician phase. Yeah. No, she's still there.

Now she's got a tie with stars on it. It's like, flipped over, time. You know what this restaurant could use? A rabbit. We're going to go. So she's like, it looks great that night when you had good people in here. I remember that. So maybe it'll work out.

So Sand of All Comes in all stressed with his stupid felt hat. I hate that. There's just so many signs. I should have known when the man wears Kyle Richards hats. Never to trust him. Never. Hey, hey, Kyle Richards grew up wearing hats. They're her thing, okay?

Okay, so make fun of her upbringing. So, um, San devil, like, oh my god, so stressed, braw, like so much. I was like, did the kids have to get back to school, couldn't finish practice? It's going on. So she's like, why are you stressed? Did you have to write another chick? And he's like, I did, I sure did. I was just on FaceTime with a... Um... Vender, vendor. Buying a... Uh... A rack of lamb.

So, uh... So anyway, so they're talking about this girl's trip that's coming up and everything and short, short, it's like, we should have a guy's night. As if they don't literally have guys nights every single night with you, too. it's like, we should have a guy's night. As if they don't literally have guys nights every single night with you, too. He's like, wow, I know you're a well-oriled machine, Lisa. We just want to be like that, too, you know?

And another well-oriled machine, this, what is that, a robot dog? How is that dog still alive? Is that the same dog? You've always, you still got that little fluffy dog, you know, it's like not jiggy, but it's another kind of jiggy. I'm talking about. Yeah., you know, it's like not jiggie, but it's a no it's another kind of chicken but Yeah, it's not jiggie. This is fluffy bottom jigsaw tattoo

But we call it diddy now so LVP is like she's like well No, I came here because I want to help you guys and can and I discussed it a lot and if you want we don't want this What's so I would hate for the way before I offer this time could you take off your hat? you guys and Ken and I discussed it a lot and if you want we don't want this what so else. No I would hate for the way before I offer this Tom could you take off your hat let's just put that on the table upside down. All right Ken did you bring the ones all right. Now listen my other Ken am I my other of us wants to hurt you just dropping ones into

his hat over and over. Dude those are my ones, it's a dove. That's it. She's like, listen, listen. We will give you, if you want, your entire share of Tom Tom back to you, and give you the option to buy back in Never. Yeah.

Within a year, you can buy it back. And Kent, like, what she means is, if you're any more fucking desperate than you are right now, I've got about five dollars to get you the fuck out of my restaurants, because I may not have much left, but I've got enough sense to know the things I can back to go to shit with you two, all right? Sooner I can get you out of our goddamn restaurants. The better.

Will you have a fiver or not? So Sande of all is like, ah, I feel like after four years of working at TomTom and putting in a good amount of sweat equity to be offered our initial investment back doesn't seem quite fair. You know what you're doing still sir. We have seen that here. You don't know what you're doing. Greg has to tell you guys how to do every little thing. You haven't learned anything. Your equity is your little smile which is now gone, okay? You know? Also I like that he's sitting there giving this look the whole time to Lisa while she's trying to work their magic. He's like, Lisa while she's trying to work their magic, he's like, you're not gonna get me this time. You know what's even more unfair than just getting your initial investment bank back,

investing nine years into someone and getting a jerk off the deal of recalent return. Yeah. So, Sassy Rock Nail Rock Nail Jai-ai-x Jai-ai-x, it's her Tom! Get ready! Oh, gosh So now we go over to Tom and Ariana's house

and Ariana's telling her little dog, she's like, are you sad? I'm leaving you, are you sad? And Tom's like, I'm sad too. Where's Lake Havasu? As if enough terrible things have not already happened. Of course. Arianna, geez. Yeah, so, um, basically, she's like, so Charlotte's six still,

so you need to go refill her medication. And he's like, why don't we just do it like, no! She has, oh, so I can do it, Tom. And he's like, she went and got a couch with you. You can do the medicine. But that's seeing you guys. That's seeing when they went to get that couch. And she's like, I guess, I mean, can I see you?

He's like, if you want to get a couch. And she's like, OK. And they're just in the U-Hall not talking. And she's like, wow, this is great. It's the only time I get to see Tom, and it's at a thrift store. And he's like, I'm gonna pay, you wait here. And she's just sitting on the couch like,

listen, sometimes you've got to cut cords to build a bigotry. This doesn't really make sense, but. There we go. So, at the point, I've gone through so much anger, I'm so happy now. I'm like, bye, stupid. You know?

At least you didn't waste all of your youth, you know? Like half of it, but you still got half to go. And you're young enough, look at all this shit they're coming out with now. Look at me, I look 42. Yeah, but at the time these people are aging, they're gonna look like little Teddy, you know, shitting on the floor.

Yeah, she looks like she's 23. She will ultimately be fine, which is what's good. So, by the way, she talks about how this dog is her right or die. She's known it longer than, that she's had this dog longer than Tom and this is her best friend and her this and that. And Charlotte is 18 years old and I was like God damn

Yeah, although I think in general like when when pets get brought up on van and pump rules We just so so either way. I mean don't forget that lizard so Show us a bad try. Okay. Well, you know, you have to specify whenever Show us a bad try, right? Okay, well, you have to specify whenever a shorts is passed or rot up on bad air front roll. That's true. These says last longer. I mean Graham's still doing fine. It had a Kabab stick. You know what? I took it out of the snack. I took it back. I take it all back. My theory obviously has holes in it.

Well, watch out. Tom might stick one in ya. Well, watch out, Tom might stick one in ya. So now we go to my favorite scene of this episode. It's a simple scene. It's a simple humble act. Yeah. To the beginning scene. It's Katie. Katie packing with Christina Kelly. Christina Kelly. Here she is. Brought back on the show for support.

Christina Kelly, she had a, she had a, this was a good episode for her, I would say. I feel like this is good. She gave first of all, she only had about, she only had maybe one line, but it was a good line. And she spent the rest of the episode sort of like kind of sneering at everything, because she just disgusted that this is what she came back for. She's like

She did a lot of like reaction work. I feel like Uda Hagen would have been impressed That's what Uda Hagen does where I have no idea. I don't know what I'm talking about actually They only do dots. That's all I know about those so Katie is packing and the Christina is like being her support system while she packs because it's a getting pack scene. So she's just watching Katie and she's like, not that one. Katie is like, this one, she's like, um, but that one's crocheted. Yeah, it's a lake have a suit ripped. So, um, uhriya is talking about, because they're gonna be going to, of course, Vanderbump, Aparri in Vegas. So she's talking about how, like,

it's like in their contract that they all have to promote these restaurants. So she's like, it's my favorite of every single Vanderbump restaurant. It's got the best drive through. Okay, so let me talk about myself. This week has been and Christina goes serious. I know. Christina's like, I've heard this for 13 fucking hours, Katie. So Katie's

like, yeah, well, when I met up with Arianna and Raquel, she said, I have to tell you something. I went up to Tom Schwartz and asked if he wanted to make out and Christina goes, you know how they say when someone's face drops, Christina's face literally fell off on the floor. Like she had to, she was like trying to fight with you down there. And like, you know what people say, the blood drain out of your face. She like, it looked like a big monster came up behind her and sucked everything out of her face. Like it was just like, how? I just cracked my eardrum. Have you ever heard of that?

Well, if I die right now, it's because I was making fun of somebody's fucking face getting sucked off. Fucking A. I was like pulling a muscle. Well, yeah, you know, I mean, if you're doing a Vanderpump Rules recap, something's going to get injured at some point. That's how I'm going to fucking die doing a Vanderpump rules recap, some things can get injured at some point. That's how I'm going to fuck you. No, I'm going to.

No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to.

No, I'm going to. No, I'm going to. coming from you or how much has been planted by someone else like Sheena, who by the way apparently has been stuck on top of some climbing wall for three days. They're sending up a go-fun, may or something like that, Red Cross getting on the wall. I thank God for Christina because Christina is like, um, I think you're giving Sheena a little more credit than she's due. I mean, yeah. It's Sheena. Are you literally gonna blame Sheena for your shit head cheater of an ex-husband? Yeah, so wanting to be around someone besides you like that's far and I'm your supporter I was hired to be your supporter and that's a little far from me Yeah, so then Christina tells us goes I feel like I'm the only one who isn't falling for a tell sweet as an act

I feel like I'm the only one who isn't falling for Raquel's sweet as an act Yeah, people walk around training her like a sweet little baby, but that's an insult to babies Teddy's like I agree So she's like seriously Katie that's like the biggest benefit of the doubt that you can like give to someone. Katie goes, I get it, I get it, okay? I just want everyone to trust that I can make decisions for myself. Like, okay, Katie. She lights her luggage on fire.

Ah, wrong decision again. You married Tom. And there's that too. Nothing says I can't make decisions for myself, like marrying Tom Schwartz. You shut up. Oh, fuck up. What is this?

Ronnie's phone is starting to start to play a sick beat. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Oh, yeah. What is that? It's beautiful. You're probably like on hold with Comcast right now. You guys, do you know what it is? Oh, it's actually Bravo adjacent.

I heard your married is the song by The Weeknd. And as we all know, The Weeknd was dating, the Aadawan. The Aadawan. But I guess I was yelling about husbands and they were like, I've got the perfect song for you. Serious like I can't. So Raquel goes, Raquel's apartment and Lala comes over and Lala is a real, she's a real master at making literally nothing all about her.

So she comes over, she goes, Raquel Ariana, says you guys call this the tree house. And I was like, oh my God, because when I left Randall, I wanted to replace called the tree house. And I was like, that was the first time I felt safe in the longest time to the tree house. When you think about trees and houses and tree houses, it's really about me and Randall what I'm going through right now. So thank you.

So suddenly when I watch this show is like, what the fuck is Lala doing here? At Rick Hellshouse. And why the fuck is Lala being nice to Rick Hell? Lala wants to murder Rick Hells. OK, she hates Rick Hells. So Lala always be wary. I don't even care who you are.

I don't even care if you're checking Lala out at the grocery store. Be wary because she's ready to pull something. So she's like, yeah, and Rick House confused too. Rick House goes, awww. Yeah. She's kind of looking around like, is anybody else catching this? And by the way, there's nothing to indicate that it should be called the Tree House whatsoever. It's a generic studio apartment. I just want to point that out. It's not on the first floor. Oh my god is this a tree house. It's like a tree house. It's really high. Wow. It's a big tree. You're the birds. So, a lot of us like, yeah, because like both of us,

last places we were used to, and we started journeys that are new to us. So, this is where like the same, we're like sisters. And Rickles was like, yeah. We are. Just the way Rick held beams, like she really thinks she's just been accepted by Lala is. And then it's like watching the nature channel. I'm just, I'm just... No, this is so cute.

And you just know that the heads about to fly like in trails are about to be spread all over the desert, you know? Yeah, so Lala who's just like taking one step into this house is like, Rand and I used to fight all the time. Like my mom said, I don't remember one time when I come to LA and you guys weren't fighting, whether it was like at a movie premiere for Goddy or being around John Travolta or the time I hung out with 50 Cent, we were just always fighting around famous people.

You know what I'm saying? It's like you just walked in the door, man. Yeah. And because like, yeah, because like when you're in it emotionally, you're like so invested that you like can't see what's going on. when you're in it emotionally, you're like so invested that you like can't see what's going on. And Mama's like, yeah, totally.

So, it becomes a situation of like, Rand is mind-fucking-me and like, why can't I do anything about it? Like, you know what's the great idea? Let's have a baby. That's what we should do. Let's have a baby and Rickug goes, no, oh, that would be the worst thing for you to do.

I'm kind of a Lala's just saying. She's like, I'm trying to have my scene, okay? She goes, well, I mean, maybe I didn't see it because like, maybe she was supposed to be here. And like, that was the silver lining cup at all. You getting this? I'm crying right now.

You're getting this? Because if I don't think of that, I would be in a hole. I would never be able to go out of and recalcitusly say, ah-ha. I'm just watching this. I wrote, look, you know, we're all analyzing so much over the past week or so. And it's like, oh my God, Rick House was never dumb at all. She had a plan the whole time. Well, I'm here to report.

She's pretty dumb. Yeah. She is. She is. And so we're a lot, you know. So pretty dumb. Bless her, bless her heart. So, Lala's like, yeah, I consider myself a pretty smart person, but like, how did I get

Eric? How did I get Eric? Because the guy that casting couched you also casting couched other people. Oh, and also he was using Bruce Willis in movies that you were probably in, you asshole, while Bruce Willis is walking around with dementia. Okay, that's the way you were here. Range rovers. So, that's how she got there.

She literally took, no, she took an Uber Range Rover. So, anyway, Rick Hell is like, well, hopefully there's like, enough. That's how Rick Hell is like, well, hopefully there's like enough... That's how Rick Hell was looking at... Rick Hell was looking at Lala's hilarious, she's like... She's still trying to figure out the tree house thing, she's like, do I call it the tree house? So she's like, well, hopefully there's like enough men to go around because I feel like there's such slim pickings these days.

Oh. And Lala actually says, yeah, but thank God, we don't have the same taste to man. Oh. And they're so clips of both of them with James, you know. And Lala's Lala going, hey, let's say cheers for me fucking short soon and then Rick Kalsang. Hey, you want it just to make out? You know what I have a confession to make that like no one cares about but I'm gonna tell you all I have an ad

Sachska since 2020 Yeah, like my sex life really declined. Like once I got sober and like, Rand once made a vibrator. I mean, made a comment to my assistant. And he made a vibrator too, which was really weird. I mean, we did weird things during lockdown. But La La said, like, La La used to be kinky and fun and sexy. But then she got sober and actually could see me

for who I was. And now we don't have sex anymore. So now it's me and the vibrator. So Rick has like, we need to get, you want a mission to get someone worthy and have to spread your legs. Spread their arms. For Rick has been doing it wrong this whole time.

I know. I know. So then we go to the girls at my favorite airport, the Burbank Airport. Yes. And Katie's like, I just want to have fun with my girlfriends. And Rekel.

I love this scene because like all the real housewives, we see them always showing up for like a private jet somewhere and like some special tiny airport and there's like that lay service and these ladies, they're just like walking through a regional airport, the by the guy, Fiori sandwich stand, getting in line for like South of West, like Katie's back in like B-47, being like, hey guys. Katie's the only one who paid the $20 to get the like, seating ahead thing on Southwest.

Like it's so Vanderbump rules. After all these years, it's still so Vanderbump rules. So they get to, they just skip all this, but they do play a party because it's like the saddest scene ever, right? And they play this part, this song that's like, laughs the party, come close, I can't breathe. And make me feel naughty. We're gonna run this town.

What is this song, you guys? You can't. It's just fully random shit together. So then they're in Vegas and it is really, I mean, how much trouble is Vegas in? Because that is a big picture of Lisa Vanderprung. So then they're in Vegas and it is really, I mean, how much trouble is Vegas in because that is a big picture of Lisa Vanderpromm. The big.

That's a whole Paris. Well, you know. So once I come to there, it's just Lisa like, hmmm, she's got to compete with Chris and he's like, you know, you know. He's your mortgage. I have an idea. Just give me your voice, your voice, your voice!

And they show up, Lisa is on the keys for her powers, which is also hilarious. Just like the idea of just sticking Lisa's van and bump into a slot. It just turns red and goes poor. Bleep, poor. Bleep, poor. Please don't put me near your poor person, except for another way to erase myself. De-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de- Yes, enjoy your room. So they're all there and everything.

And then we get this really strange scene down in the Vanderpump Restaurant in Paris. There's this dog statue that has a velvet pussy bow on. And Lisa is trying to put costume jewelry on. And she's really upset about this. She's more upset about this costume jewelry than any of the scandals that have happened the past nine years on this show. She's like, oh, someone keeps stealing the jewelry! And she's got Nicolaine there to shoot this scene, you know?

Nicolaine! It's like Nic we're shooting in Paris, come down darling, it's half your restaurant, we've got a feature you, darling. We've got your nickel-ane lease of end-up, hum, shandily as darling, everything's gonna be amazing. And he shows up, she's like, glue this on that dog. Glue this on that dog. You don't even see him. He's like bent over like, what glue then? It's an actual glue. A popsy.

A popsy. No one will get it off. God damn tourists. And you know every one of us in this audience, if we've been to that restaurant, we've been walking around with one of those. I know. I would still that shit right off that dog. Brittany walks in and puts sunglasses on the dog.

You're a cougar! You're a cougar! You're a cougar! You're a cougar! So, she's like, yes, downtown, they cost nothing, but we've got her epoxy them on a chest. Oh, you look so sexy dog, so French! Yes, those classic French dogs wearing pussy bows and jewelry. Just like a nutradon.

So, Lala's like, hey, Kels, Kels, Kels. Yeah, we have a little surprise we want to show you. They're friends now, where she calls her Kels now. Hey, Kels. Kels, Kels, you can't. OK, don't tell Katie about this. We got something really cool. It's a king size bag of M&M's from Burbank Airport.

Yeah. It's a white man pinata in a suitcase that's supposed to represent Tom. Well, it's very generic and okay looking, so I think it's pretty accurate. When it was in the suitcase, it had nothing, but when it's out of the suitcase, it's been given a restaurant. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, it's been given a restaurant. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, that's wild how that happens.

So Christine is like, wow, that's uncanny. And then Lala's like, so, Calth, are you churned on Calth? And she's like, I'm not churned on. They just stare at her like, we're trying to help you here. We're going. Yeah. Just kidding. And then the pinata ported to Keela on her head, which was really weird.

So now we go to James. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now that's a tricky monical song right there. Yeah. Just. So they just, I'm so. Pure... So the pure motion, that's all.

It's okay, you don't have to apologize. I'm just gonna say pure motion, that's all right. Eww! Okay, so we get a close-up of a sign that says, Treatment Check-In, and then we see Raquel and Allie walking, and I was like, wow, that was a quick turn. Good for you, boy.

Maybe Jacqueline did do some good. It's for its's a spa treatment. Foot spa. Foot spa. So they're setting up. No, he's getting a facial. She's like, welcome. Ha ha ha ha.

Welcome. You've come to the right treatment center. By the way, what we're going to say about five or six more days before Tom checks himself into rehab, right? Promises. So, right, I mean, so they're sitting there, putting their feet into like barrels, like a very lazy episode of I Love Lucy.

And Ali is like, the new moon is like in Leo today, so this is like a perfect day to get spiritually recharged. Where, what used up your spiritual charge? What does Ali do that uses up her spiritual charge? If you're sitting next to somebody named James, and you've been fucking this guy, and like seriously dating him,

you're reading the charge wrong. You know what I mean? You're bad at this, That's what I'm saying. Read the newspaper horoscopes. Don't do this at home, Allie. You're terrible at this. And then James gets her this smile and we see James' paper bag face.

James got that. I'm not shaming. I'm just pointing it out because he made fun of jacks for being older for so long. And I was like, whoops. Yeah. Karma chast your ass on the street real quick. So James is like,

I'm in a people mood today, I don't know why. Feels good though. It's punchy. Yeah. Listen, we're all a little emotionally raw today. We've been through a lot. We have no one but each other right now. Okay, it's a safe space.

Yeah, this. So, can I say, I definitely needed this right? I just made a must-drylion, I apologize. I definitely needed it right now. Can I say, I definitely needed this, you know? I've been mentally beaten up by everybody, okay? We're all talking about how we had sex back in the day, and we're chaos, say, I'm a bad person. I mean, you sure have had a couple of drinks.

Big deal. I'm allowed to have fun on trying to let be a happy person. I mean, I'm at Lisa to get some tea, okay? And she said about you, she said, like, just if I move too quickly. I said, no, I'm allowed to be happy, okay? Even if I am with a little slot. Sorry, sorry, I love you. I love you.

I love you, little slot. You're stupid, slot, you're, sorry, I love you. I love you. I love you, little slot. You stupid slut, you stupid slut, you stupid slut. I love you. Love you. So she's like, I mean, it was quick for you. Like, I totally get that. But like, at the same time, like you meet the right person and it just happens fast, you know?

Like, one minute you're just a girl with a moon in Aquarius in the next minute. You're watching a guy push play in Agoria Hills and like picking out China patterns in your head. You know what I mean? And like, you know, Lisa, Lisa keeps trying to say like, try not to get me to stop drinking you know and she's like, oh, what would Ali prefer? I'm like, well, sober James or like, really cool, awesome James with a tan. And I'm like, I think it's pretty obvious, like, what do you think, Ali? Like, which version of James do you like more? Obviously, the cool drinking one, right?

I love the sober James. I hate the drinking James. Drinking James scary. Drinking James scary. All right. We went over this beforehand when we went to the apartment. Drinking James scary, drinking James scary. All right, we went over this beforehand when we went to the apartment. We want to take it from the top. Which James do you like?

The fun wiggie wiggie at the Ziggy Ziggy Hotel? Or sad James who eats ice cream for high? Drunk James terrifying, drunk James scary, me no like drunk James. Now get away you stupid little slut, we are so in love, I have to say, so in love. So she's like next time I quit, I'm doing it from self because last time I quit it's for recal and now look at me and look what happened didn't work anyway I was like yeah, that's not really how that works So it's like well, I don't think ultimatum is a very good in relationships

I mean Katie gave Schwarzenaw to me to him to get married and that didn't last very long today Did it no now? He's just slightly heavier living a crappy apartment. That's right. That's what you call a slightly heavier thing in the crop department. That's right. That's what you call a slightly heavier zing. Zing. James is such a hateable piece of shit, but God. He's so often correct. That's the tricky thing about this, so.

So James is, blah. So Ali's talking about basically. I'm on a rock. I'm on a rock. Did you see Sheena? Sheena and her stupid also slightly have a boyfriend. They're on a rock.

So Alice, like, well, there's nothing wrong with being sober. I mean, if everyone's concerned and everyone doesn't have any talks with you and your behavior's, I don't think it's very genuine. And I mean, the Canon Club, I didn't get kicked out of it because of alcohol. That was pure cocaine, totally different. And I've been on my best behavior.

And just to show it to you, when you talk, I'm now going to sit here and finger the chair a little bit. Did you notice that he started fingering the chair? He gets so nervous. He just starts off the rails. I was literally on rails Doing rails. He's just literally like this like a little finger that's coming in from out of the frame just going like this Go back and watch you'll enjoy it So then we cut to Lisa's gigantic fucking face on the outside of the hotel

Now I know people are thinking I'm gonna go to fucking Paris Hotel in Las Vegas and have the happiest time of my life because this is a Lisa hotel now. Don't you know at least it does? She breeds nothing but misery. That's the point. She breaks the birds. That's how she fixes them.

Okay, she breaks them in the first place. No one's staying in this hotel is leaving happy and I'm gonna stand by that. So we see her picture and then we hear. K.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P Do you know what I mean? I'm just... Happy to learn that you can go there and have a great time. So just putting that out there, just putting that out there. I was staying there when JFK junior died. My voice. You know how you remember the place.

And we've already done this twice this week. But you remember what happened during tragedies? Me and my sister were there and we messed our flight. And we were cursing each other out and then We found out that happens You just made Carl Radswell very angry How dare you So yeah, nothing funny about that really. It's just what happened. So just stating facts, okay?

I'm telling you, broken birds. I stayed there, look what happened. I probably did that to him. I shouldn't have known better. I think that was before Vanderpump rules. I have to say, and this is actually totally serious. I was thinking about today about this whole scandal, and I was thinking, because as long as we're talking about terrible things that have happened in pop culture, I was literally thinking, God, when I was the last time I actually felt so betrayed and like, by like a famous person,

and I literally think it was when the O.J. Simpson murder happened. I literally, in my mind, oh, he can say JFK Jr., and I can't mention, oh, J. Simpson. Well, JFK was a hero to be said he died is okay, he had a magazine. What, I mean, OJ, what's a football hero, but? I loved it, I loved it. I loved it! Hey, Resnick. What a favorite Snicks biggest fans this year tonight. Oh!

So you felt betrayed by OJ? I used to love OJ, Simpson. I love the naked gun. Anyway, I was trying to share a part of myself. I was trying to be vulnerable. I didn't the naked gun. Anyway, I was trying to share a part of myself. I was trying to be vulnerable. I didn't know what. Well, inside of the way, I'm gonna close myself up back again into my little cocoon.

We still love you. I just never understood sports people, and they were always so rude in high school that I was just like, of course, a sports person murdered their wives. I told you, told you that I was right about all of them, you know? So, Lala, they're trying to find who's crying in this area on it because her dog passed away.

And this is so sad, and I refuse to talk about it next. I'm doing that. I could love you, Charlotte. I know. My little Zena made it till 16 years, and I have to tell you by the end of that, she was like, he's, I gotta, I don't know how, and I couldn't, you know, and to make it to 18 years, I looked at Zina's picture

because of course I still have it creepily in my house. Like, not just, it's not creepy to have pictures of your dogs, but your dead dogs, but I have, you learn now, right your dead dogs. But I have a viewer now, right? So, and then I had Zina. So I took old pictures of them, and I made them black and white, and I printed them on like, see through paper, and I crumpled them up.

It was like a craft thing, you know? And I made like these big portraits of these dogs, right? And so I had them hung in my apartment for the longest time. Then people, like, trying to get laid like this, okay? So someone comes in, well that's your dog's? Yeah, Zena's dead, but Bueller's here, Bueller come out here. No one's getting a boner after that. I'll tell you that. Anyway, the point is I get it and it's so sad, but I saw Ariana's dog was 18 and I literally was like Methuselah, girl, congratulations, we need like little gold watches for dogs that live to 18 years old. That's like the Ken of dogs. We love you,

Sarlic, grads out there, and Rainbow Bridge. Cheers. So now Katie's getting into a dress. And La La's... Poor Katie cannot fucking win, can't she? Yeah, and La La's like, oh my god, you look like classy and sexy. And Katie's like, I look like a cheap hooker. La La's like, yeah, exactly. So they go downstairs.

I thought they were... I thought they were random to Joyce to wit, but it was actually Katie's mom, Terry, yeah, exactly. So they go downstairs. I thought they were, I thought they ran into Joyce DeWitt, but it was actually Katie's mom, Terry, who I love. I was like, the timeline would make sense. The timeline would make sense. Yeah, and so it's Terry and they sit down at this table and I was like, I feel like all the restaurants, just like all of Lisa's restaurants,

they all look very different but they compliment each other so well. Like, it's cool how in this restaurant, there's a dog with a red pussy bow on it. And the other one has a giant pendulum of a huge clock. It just works together so well. Crazy. So she's like, Mom, we're going to disco pussy tonight.

And her mom's like, good. I was like, I've been there done that. I know, she's like, I'm in my 60s, so I did that first. You idiots. So then Oliver, Garcelle Boves, hot ass son. Wait, people don't like Oliver? No. Then he was married this whole episode. He's like, I'm not married.

Oh, I thought he was separate. Listen, I fell for his loss. Oh, no, his wife is on the Instagram. I've seen her. She's like, oh, hell no. She's like, I've got new tomorrow about how hurt I am. So I was like, ooh, what's she going to say tomorrow? So I've like said a little alarm. I was like, oh, what's she gonna say tomorrow? So I like said a little alarm.

I was like, check tomorrow, check tomorrow to see what that girl said. Wow, the messiness of this season is just so next level. Yeah, and she was like, oh, man, he was married. I was like, you made me set a fucking alarm to find that. I knew you were mad and he was married. How long are you gonna roll this out, lady?

But she has to write, Oliver is a piece of shit. But he's a good looking piece of shit, so. Wow. When you're in Vegas, who cares? They're like, they're like those wet maps that give you on the plane, single use. Oh. Well, either way, Rikkel must have heard

that he still had a wife, because she's like, he's hot. Oh! Oh! So, La La is like, oh, Raquel, oh, because he comes, he's like, hello ladies. And La La is like, hey Raquel, hey you've met Garsel before. Buve, Garsel, Buve. This is your son.

And Raquel is like, oh cool, that's so cool. And Lala goes, that is my type of man. With a face like that, I'll do whatever you want. I'm like, you're a type of man. The last guy you dated looked like the short guy from 101 Dalmatians. The last man you dated, eight amps with his nose off of logs. Okay.

The last man you dated literally looked like the Tasmanian devil. Yeah. So Oliver is like, so what do you ladies want to drink? And Rickah was like, Vodka. And he's like, well, I have a vodka that comes out on a crown. It's pretty sick. Of course, Lee Savannah, if I'm up. I want to trade with the crown, under glass.

And what the children are calling vodka. I just play says hilarious, because I don't know if anyone noticed, but like midway through the scene, they just had bird cages on the table. They had bird cages with pieces of cheese in it, and like at one point, Terry was trying to talk, and you look like, she was like obscured, like you just saw her like, her bangs. Just like, let Terry out of the cage.

Every time they showed her, it's like this. He's like, oh my daughter is missing for so much bang. Like the cage is moving to cover her. You can't rehabilitate a broken bird without a cage. That is Elisa Vanderpump restaurant. She doesn't want you to walk or look at anybody in those places. I'm telling you, I'm surprised that people haven't been caught jerking off behind trees. I mean, those restaurants really, you walk in, okay, they're small, and they've got like a hallway

this big to get past the bar. There's 900, you know, of us, basically. And then she puts big planters in the middle with trees. So like you end up talking, it's like, hey Ben, how you doing? What's that? Ron, you think this is a joke. This is exactly what it's like to go to these

as restaurants. So we went there one time and I was talking to somebody. We couldn't talk, you think this is a joke. This is exactly what it's like to go to Lisa's restaurants. So we went there one time and I was talking to somebody. We couldn't talk. We couldn't see each other. We literally sat under the bar to have a conversation. Ha-ha. So Lisa comes and she's like, oh, hello girls. And random older lady, are you here for a job?

Unfortunately, our cutoff is 30 years old. Oh, it's your mother. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Oh, so Katie's mom is there with purpose. You know, Katie has brought her with some purpose, right? By the way, yes, I have to say I may be like throwing shade or whatever, but like I am in full support of Terry and her showing up for her daughter. I don't know. I showing up for her daughter. I don't know, I don't call her Terry, I call her the Katie Maker.

Well, just kidding, Terry. Terry said, oh my God, Terry, I am a Patreon. I pay your rent. Turn to Shannon Bedouard. So, so, Lala is like, when I first met Oliver at the Vanderpomp Paris opening, the last thing on my mind was finding a dude to take me up to my room to help out with, but lately I'm feeling bad from out the china. And I can hear a calling to me begging me to allow somebody to just bust it wide open. Wow. So it's a vivid visual.

I feel like she makes me laugh so much. It just cracks me out. Because it's just, because La La is funny because she's trying so hard for everything, right? She's trying hard to be like, my man left me and then she's all, what she did. And then like, she's trying hard to be like, I am horny and I love sex and I love my body and I'm ready for this vagina have a cucumber in it. You know what I'm like?

So everything you're like, whoa, Lala just. Oh. So I just like, cause you know you have those friends, it's like, well we all do, you know, some of us are those friends. But like your friend has a baby and they're like, I'm not changing the thing and then they become real mommy like.

And I'm like, he's not touching me with that thing. You know, like, I get it, but Lala didn't at all. She's just like, I'm still gonna fuck. She's like holding her baby. Like, who wants the fat ocean? Putting ocean down, you know. What's the si-pads? Cracks me up.

She's so funny. Okay, so then, LVP is like, Oh, cherry darling, where's Ariana? And they tell her about the bad call. And LVP is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, she just starts evaporating. They're like, come back. There's a broken bird in burping.

How did you let it get away? So then we see a scene of Tom picking up Ariana. They're basically going to the vet. And, you know, it's not- Yeah, it's terrible. So he had a sad dog. This is funny though. This is funny though.

Because Tom picks Ariana up at the airport and she's like, okay, Tom, we gotta get to the vet. I'm gonna map it. Okay, Tom, I'm gonna map it and he goes, so we're gonna go straight to the vet. I'm gonna map it. Okay, Tom, I'm gonna map it and he goes, so we're going straight to the vet. It's like, yes, Tom. I was thinking that there's like a puppet on the way to the vet.

I was thinking it might be cool. No, Tom, we're going straight to the vet. I was kind of thinking about like Panda Express maybe, like Sesame Chicken's back. Go carts, go carts, maybe. Yeah, Tom sucks. So they go to the vet and it's really sad It's sad so then we go to because I have oh no, I'm not gonna talk about that. Okay, so then Vandipum

Because I will start crying and that's the most embarrassing and when I start crying I start like a cartoon cry where it's like Lisa Vandipum just shows up over here. I heard there was a broken bird in Charlotte Like, booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Rick Hell is like sticking your head into Lisa's arms. So, so, LV, Lala's like, oh yeah, he's so sexy. Your dog says, oh, no, Tom, I'm sorry, nothing. Got confused by my notes. No, Lala, Lala doesn't say that about the dog. She says, oh, that dog says, sexy. See how it's how LVP is. Like, you sexy little goddamn piece.

Okay, I was like, wait a second. And then El, the Lisa ever the shits are, cause she has does produce this show. She's like, so speaking about sexy, do you know Oliver? Oliver's just there pouring water like, hi ladies. Yeah. And Lala's like, oh yeah, I've had a crush for a long time on that one.

And LVP's like, oh, really? All of us. So you've met my girls. I was, she's said since episode one, this woman is like a madam. I still go back to that restaurant and don't see the same waiters a lot. Where I'm like, where have they been sent to?

Yeah. Really? So she's like, where have they been sent to, you know? Yeah. Really? So she's like, my girls, pick one. So he's like, oh yeah, we just met, and she's, oh, just met it, you just met. And I was like, I'm humiliated, you know, because he's just talked about like, I've wanted to fuck that guy since I met Emmett,

the vendor pump opening, and he doesn't remember. No, not at all. And no one loves this more than Christina Kelly, who's sitting there like, Lala has a big ego. And she gets butter when anyone doesn't remember her, especially a guy. And I'd like to add to that, ha, you know, Christina Kelly is just loving this.

Ha. So Lala's like, you know what? I don't give a fuck, he doesn't remember me. If he's lucky, he can remember me later on. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So, Erekel's like, we should invite him out, OK? Because isn't the whole point of a girl's trip to meet cute, unavailable guys and have fun?

Yeah. Oliver is so charismatic and he's got the swagger in a wife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if he turns me on, then a circular dent on this finger. Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, we do see the crown with the drink on it thing, which is just fucking hilarious. And I wanna know how many of you all have run out of that restaurant with that crown, because I know you've been like, just going to the bathroom. So, and Vanderpump's like, anyway, she is moving upwards, upwards, forwards.

And while I was like, and where it's semi-faginiard, my ride Oliver. Sheena's still on her rock. I'd like to move downwards, please. LAUGHTER So, LVP's like, Katie, tell me about this little sandwich shop of you found a location for something about her. And Katie is like, well, we've been looking at locations, and Lisa's like,'s like oh What you definitely don't want to move in five doors down from sir

Since snares are in here. Yes, he does eight grand months not bad All it will take is a little to something you don't use much anyway She is so evil, man. On Beverly Hills, like, oh my God, Lisa Vanderpump is manipulating everything and she's so evil. And I was like, no, she isn't. You bunch of fucking whiny sissy's. But then on this show, I'm like, oh my God,

she's the best evil villain I've ever seen, you know? So Katie's just drinking the cocktails and she's like, oh my God, these drinks. I have had like everything on the menu. And like, that's why I got wasted last time. And that's why like, Shina took everything I said so seriously, and then we cut to 10 days earlier, or Shina going, oh yeah, I just conversation in Vegas,

and she was like shorts or a cow, like one or two ago there. And they have like my blessing, and I'm like, I'm cold, and like, I don't like, I don't care about that all. And I'm like, yeah, I'm getting a Lancer shorts, you're getting laid, and I was like, that sounds great. and I don't like, I don't care about that all, and I'm like, I'm getting a Lancershore, she's gonna late, and I was like, that sounds great, sounds like you got some really turning a corner! So then the mom, mom's like,

so how is that going? You're gonna be going to, she's wetting after all Katie? And she's like, no, but I do have a non-refundable room I booked. So if anyone wants to go to Met, oh, OK, fucking Katie. OK, so now your mad at Sheena for something she didn't even

do regarding your fucking husband. And now you're going to have a competition with her wedding. You're such an asshole and LOL. Good job. So that's it's funny. Just Katie thinking she's going to get the whole cast at her little hotel room in Mexico instead of people going to Sheena's party is very funny.

I cannot wait till that come. I can't wait to see what kind of ice cream she picks for that couch. So Lisa's like, oh, but why aren't you going to a wedding? Do I sense a slightly broken wingbone? And Terry's like, well, Sheena suggested that Raquel and Tom, you hook up. And Raquel's like, basically, Sheena put the idea

in my head and I originally said no, but then the idea just sort of stayed there. And we... Whoa! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Come on, Raquel, you have to take some responsibility on that. Thank you. Thank you, Lisa Vanderbake.

Thank you. Like the only person with a fucking brain on this show. So Raquel's like, I do. I straight up told Katie that I asked shorts if he wanted to make out. Lisa's face is like, are you serious? Are you that dumb? I knew you were dumb, but I like, oh you serious? Oh you that dumb, I knew you were dumb, but I didn't think you were that dumb.

So Terry's like, I'm gonna step up as mama bear right now, because whether Katie shows it or not, I talked her all the time and I hear her crying and she hurts inside and they're still married and they barely moved off in her home and they're selling their home and that's an emotional thing itself.

And you know what, you can't do that because that's where X has been so. And another thing, that's why emotional thing itself. And you know what, you can't do that because that's for ex-husband, so. And another thing, that's why the lights went out in Georgia. And Katie's like, no crying too. I was like, girls, my, girls tripped. Girls tripped. But of course, Terry's whole speech is for behind like six rotten bars of a bird cage.

Do you know how sad it is selling a house? Speak up darling. Okay. So yeah, that O'Kady's crying. So she's crying and the mom's like, sorry honey, I'm so sorry to bring it up. And Katie's like, it's okay, it's okay. I told you this girl's trip is gonna be like this.

I fucking told you, don't let K Katie plan your girl's trip, okay? Terry the way you just made your daughter cry. I want to make you my deputy birth break-out Terry's name pops up at the end the credits Andy Cohen and Terry from the bird cage. So let's go over to Disco Pase. It gets even sadder, guys. Disco Pase, I gotta say. It's one of those where there's like four people and it's the cast.

And they're like, whoa, Disco. Lala's. Lala goes, I see Disco, but where's the pussique? so Okay, so they're doing the flirting with Oliver, right? So Rick tells like you have the cutest smile You're so cute, but that base tag my mom would never and he's like yeah, but mom's always think that about me But then they meet me and I charm them, and then they love me, right? And my mom's famous.

So then, by the way, I mean, it's so hilarious with LaLala, literally LaLala gets up stage with every single storyline. Here she's like, my storyline is I'm gonna hook up with Oliver, and then here comes Raquel, just steal her right from LaLala. Even this.

I know they're sitting on either side of him basically flirting with him, right? And Lala's not winning, but she doesn't know, because Lala's got that delusion that makes you famous, you know, God bless her. So she's like, oh, this whole thing from him is working. It's the smile. It's so cute.

I mean, I don't know what his personality is, because I'm not looking for a like partner here. I'm scared. So Oliver, they're talking. Oliver says he's is, and I'm not looking for a like partner here. Sq. So Oliver, they're talking Oliver says you separated, which I guess foolishly, naively believe. Well, Lala does ask him, right? And she's like, so are you married? Yeah, separated. And she goes, oh, you have kids?

And he's like, just a son. She goes, oh my God, kids, am I right? So she starts having the kid talk with him. I'm like, you're in a place called disco pussy. I know. There's a waiter who literally just followed you from the other restaurant, so we could fuck one of you and get more famous.

Are you really going to talk about babies right now? Come on. Listen, she's bringing her A game. I'm in a full blown custody battle right now. Right now. So, meanwhile, Christina and Katie are up at the bar where there's some like trucker cap mustache douchebag there which Katie of course loves that's like Katie's type. It's her favorite.

And she's just like they're flirting and she's like so many tattoos yeah yeah I got a bunch they're all over. Wow sounds like a love connection to me. Yeah, so then back to Lala. She's like, she's talking to Lala, Lala and Rikella are talking alone at the bar. And Lala's like, well, I feel like you guys have some attraction for each other, right?

And then Rikella's like, yeah, but I feel like awkward doing anything with them because you're into him too. I feel like awkward doing anything with them because you're into him too. Uh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I was like, um, I say if you want my stamp of approval to hook up with him, like I would never stand in the way of that,

I would just shade you for it for many months. That's all. Yeah, I'm just gonna re-hate you in about five minutes. So she was like, yeah, you know, well, I came here to have a good time and I'm gonna do that without his dick, or not with his dick or without his dick. You know, so she comes through the go ahead

and a surest for Kelsey won't be bad. So then we go back to Katie and Christina at the bar and talk about tattoos. And he's like, yeah, I want more tattoos, but you know, it's like whatever. It's just, yeah. And he's like, it's got a huge chest hat that says, CGBC.

What is that? Does anybody know? I thought it was CBGB, but it wasn't that. It's CBGB. It's so hot. CBC can give big. Yeah. What's the last letter? I forgot it already.

Cool, kuga. Kuga, you're a kuga. You're a kuga. So, um, yeah, sad. So then we go to Oliver and... By the way, he says he got those tattoos in the Navy. LAUGHTER Sir.

Support your... Working. It's okay, like I love that. Working at Levi's does not count, yeah. You got. Look at me, guys, this is not counts. You got to fuck me, I served this country. Okay, okay, buddy. So, flag day. Like, alright.

So, Katie's like, so, I can give you my number. And he's like, yeah, alright, Katie, Jesus Christ. I can't wait for the day they get married, and she could be like, we met at Dyscopuscy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Cady, I don't know Cady, but God, I'd still love to send her a picker. I just want to get a picker and send it to her.

Get a picker, Cady. So who cares about all this? OK, so now Oliver, basically what happens is Oliver and Raquel start making out on the dance floor. They're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. And then we get a real Megan Trainor Trixi Monaco song.

It's like, if I were you, I'd want to put your hands. I'll love her me too. Cause I'm hot, I'm hot, I'm hot, I'm hot, I'm hot. Adelaal is just watching them on the dance floor and she's like, let's be real. If this were a competition, I would have won. Oliver and I would be rolling around my bed cause I'm always a winner.

I'm like, Randall, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Pickleball Randall. Also it was a competition and you lost. You. Sorry. Pickleball Randall. Also, it was a competition. And you lost. You lost it. You lost that one fair and square.

So you lost the hottest girl status the second you came on national TV and bragged about how much Randall loved you eating out his bum. Okay? That's kind of ended it for me. So she's like, what? So, you didn't remember that part? Go back and look. It's all there.

It's all in the footage. Roll the tape. So, um, it's sad that law, because law has this like, I've always been a winner skh. Like that's how it ends. And it's just so bit lady, I swear to you. Uh, I love it. It's so sad that she's becoming like that bitter Beverly Hills

divorcee where her eyes are like here and like her lips are like. But it's also so amazing for us. Like, it's like the end of this show, but also the beginning of Beverly Hills, my darling. Help me to my little broken foot. And at the end of the day, Team Ariana. That brings us to the end of Panda Pomp Rules.

Thank you all so much for coming out to this emotional session. Thank you. so much for coming out to this emotional session Good night everyone Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Saboni, she don't take no baloney Christie, our need our need Dana C, Dana, do she's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Itchels, Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickles

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Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a good hobby, it's Lauren Hobgad. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible edible Matthew sisters, Nancy Cicentacisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a cannon Anthony! Let's take off with Tamela Plane.

She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellas-Ive. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wondery's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen, add free on the Amazon Music or Wondry app. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.