Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Pool Intentions

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

After Jax disinvites the cast from his pool party on Vanderpump Rules, Sandoval throws a rival rager instead. This can only mean one thing: Jax is the victim. Poor guy. Meanwhile, Dayna's love triangle continues to chug along uncharismatically, and Lala declares herself an adult. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappings of Podcasts. At all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real House, where it's a kitchen island and also the game brain podcast

and just a slave to turn up prices on Animal Crossing. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious, liberated from all things turn up. Ronnie Karam of the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose Podcast. What's up Ronnie? What happened? How you doing today? What's funny before we started, you said you missed good turn up prices.

And I was like, Ben is really spiraling in quarantine. And you were talking about your animal crossing game. I didn't pick that up. So yeah, here, like literally a second right before I saw that I, I had missed an opportunity to get to sell my turnups at 420 bells. And that's like a huge miss, a huge miss on my part. So I'm just gonna try to like persevere and there's no better way to persevere

than to throw yourself into the world of vanopomp rules, which I'm happy to report, really got my blood boiling for a second week in a row. And I feel like every time my blood boils, my blood will be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to

be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able Every time my blood boils, we get a couple of boils. Why? Jacks. Oh God, Jacks is so stupid. It's like getting mad at parking meters. Like, you know they're there, you know they're shitty, and they're just there to fucking waste your time and take your goddamn money, you know? Like, you know what it is, don't be mad at it. It's just just jacks.

Excuse me, I was brainless broken. It's like being candy. It's brainless brain, first of all. And also, I reserve the right to be mad at Jacks and parking meters. Parking meters are like a totally valid thing to be mad at. I'm not gonna have some sort of sympathy. Like, look, I'm not gonna get mad at, I don't know, I won't pretty much get mad at anything.

But, and if I'm gonna have some sort of leniency parking meters is not where I'm gonna be It's not gonna wind up on the good side of me ever. They're okay. Okay fair enough Jacks is like a parking meter though a parking meter that's broken and for a moment you think oh I can park here for free because it's broken but you still get the ticket cuz they're like no You're just cuz it's broken doesn't mean you get to park for free so you still get a ticket. Yep I'm with you. Thank you. I support you. I support your turnips and your jacks anger. Thank you. So Today before we dive into our recap We like to do these small business shout-outs for our listeners who have small businesses who are struggling right now during corona times

for our listeners who have small businesses who are struggling right now during corona times. Also, we're loving hearing the feedback that people in the community are actually using these shout outs and and going and supporting other women. Okay, but we're getting a lot of feedback like, oh hey, like sales have been up, etc. So thank you all for supporting each other. That's just like that's really the spirit of crap. And actually, I don't think it's the spirit of crap. So I think the spirit of crap is the tear down people on Bravo, but the fact that you can find that spirit amongst that is pretty awesome.

Wow. Thanks everybody. OK, so here I'm going to start out with a couple of designers. One is brand Dave. Brand Dave, OK? He's an artist in DC, and he does T-shirts, prints, and cars. He does really great stuff. So check it out, brand, B-R-A-N-D, Dave. And then I mentioned on the show a couple

of weeks ago that this chick that listens to us makes these really hilarious housewives of masks, like corona masks. And I could not find the information. And so people have been asking and a bunch of you apparently found her anyway. So thanks for supporting her because I absolutely love these. I just ordered a few of these just because just it's amazing to have a housewives and masks in general. But in the country in Texas, like not the country country, but you know, I'm not like in West Hollywood right now, so I'm gonna, I'm just so excited to walk around

a grocery store in fucking Spicewood, Texas in a house like Smash Covering My Face. And her name on Instagram is Sherlock, like Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Space Seven. That Sherlock Space Seven. So go check them out there, hall airy. Yeah, I'll definitely check that out. I'm like all about you know masks are gonna be with us for a little while So that you know they're gonna be a fashion statement, okay, but make a fashion here's one for Rachel Fisher and

She started something called chewable charm in 2014 and she makes baby t-shirts and pacifier clips and stylish TV next. We did. Yeah, but yeah, give it a look up another one, but yeah, chewable charm. Just go check those out. That's some really cool baby stuff. Okay, sure. Okay, fine. Then she'll be frick. Okay, so she'll be frick is a travel agent and she specializes in all Disney and Universal destinations. Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, Universal Studios. Okay, so go check her out, you can email her She'll be at fairytaleconcierge.com all one word.

It's www.lovenmama.com. I think, did I get that right? Either way, she does dining reservations, fast pass reservations, itineraries, discount monitoring, much, much more. And the truth is, if anyone's ever tried to do any of that stuff at Disneyland or Disney World or any of those resorts, it's a pain in the ass. So let Shelby do it for you. Okay, that's what she's doing.

Very, very, very, very, grandmother, okay? Except she's not like, grandmother, she's just like, like a very grand mother, okay? Except she's not a grandmother. She's just a sister slash daughter, okay? Shelby. Yeah, right on, everybody. So here we are with Vanderpump Rules Day. Boop boop boop. So Vanderpump Rules, a tale of two pools.

I didn't even mean to rhyme. That was a tale of two pools. A tale of two pools, yeah. So yeah, this is the big episode pools. I didn't even mean to rhyme. That was all the talent. A talent to pull alls. Yeah. So, yeah, this is the big episode where Jack's and San Naval go head to head on a pool party. Like this simmering rivalry tensions that have been happening all season have come to a head. And now we're going to see who's the most popular spill alert. It's time to end of all.

Yeah. Jack's is a complete jacksass. So there you go. You're going to lose this one, buddy. Okay, can we talk first about the Sheena Shea news? Has anyone... Oh, yeah, I love this, I love this stupid controversy. I personally have not heard the podcast because I don't have a link to it and I was too lazy to look it up, but I read about, I read about the controversy. Tell me your thoughts.

Well, I love it. For those of you who don't know what's going on, an editor of Ander Pump Rules went on a new podcast that's out there and didn't interview and basically was laughing, saying she doesn't like she, so she gives her a really shitty edit and makes her look like an idiot and that they were told to give Stasi and Boa heroes at it. And that's the gist of it, you know, and it goes on and on as most gossip does. You can fall as far down the rabbit hole as you'd like. And Danny Pelagrino, who we love, also did an interview with Sina after all of this, because it got really fishy, because the day that this interview came out, of course it went viral and everybody

is like, what the hell, what the hell, stringer up? You know, how dare you mess with Shina? Like as if we don't all know that editors are totally fucking with people on reality TV anyway. Still, I stand for Shina in this. But people went so crazy that everybody had to delete their tweets about it. Like the episode was pulled, I think Danny Pellegrino

pulled out a tweet about it a couple people pull down tweets So I guess Bravo the Bravo machine was like how dare you Yeah, well, I think from what I could tell from what our listeners Posted in our Facebook group and stuff was that If you listen to the actual episode it was like not a big deal. The woman was basically laughing. And according to some people, the gist of it was like, I'm so low on the Totem pole that of course no one pays attention to me. So like they should because they did, then maybe I wouldn't edit them to look like porn

stars. And like that was like the vibe sort of like a joky remark. But then as it gets like retold over and over again through the Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Twitter. Twitterverse, I like Twitter sphere, it doesn't sound right. But it gets retold as well. I'll give you Twitter. I didn't like it as much.

I didn't like it as much. So as it gets retold and gets stripped of its context and any sort of inflection, it just becomes, it sounds like this really bitter person who's like, she should be friends with me. Otherwise, I'm gonna keep making her look like a porn star. So According to our listeners, that's kind of what happened. I don't know how true it is or not because I didn't get to hear it. Okay, well she know treated it Andy and I've got some news for I've got some tea for yours. I'll send check your DMs

So who knows but um, you know I stand for Shina and these very troubling times, but that said, I also live for Shina looking like a total idiot on this show because that's what I love. That's why we stand for her. I mean, Shina's edit, I'm sure it has not been very flattering, but this is Vanderpump Rules. So fuck you if you're trying to give people flattering edits, and so I will reserve that fuck you for the Stasi Bo edit if they are getting your heroes at it And I don't really see that but I don't see it either if they're getting that edit then fuck you for doing that But I want my Vanderpump rules people to be edited like idiots. I mean as Vanderpump rules and she knows edit has kind of saved the seasons it has kind of saved the season. So I'm not really sure where I stand anymore. Yeah, I feel like she not always gets a stupid edit and that's what's hilarious and that's why we've grown to just love

her as much as we do because she's always so spunky and she gets right back up. She's like, all right, well I'm gonna do it again. I'll turn that other season. You know, she doesn't, she seems to be totally unfazed by it and that's what's hilarious. She is just in her own, she know, world. So, I don't know, I think the editor did great work. She's probably fired already, or he, I think it was a she, right? Yeah, it was a she, yeah. Yeah, she's probably fired. Maybe, you never know, I mean, it is Bravo.

We're still watching Bret and Max. So, there you go. That's true too. And then all the Catherine from Southern charm stuff happened Oh god, that was super fun. This is one thing after another. Yeah, I've been a great been a real great time So let's see how much house Bravo cleans You know, they've got a good you could they got a marine dirty house and Cameron from Southern charm announced that she is not coming back for the next season. So, he's lost.

Yeah, I mean, I actually really like Cameron, but she became a mom and it's like sudden on Beverly Hills being like, oh, and then she's pregnant and I thought, oh, dear. Like, here's the thing, Cameron definitely became one of those moms. That's like, can you believe it? My daughter says, Google Gaga. It's like, yes, you're not the first one who, this is not new territory for humanity. Yeah. So I'm not too sad about that.

I'm wondering what they're going to do with Southern Charm in general. I mean, I can't really imagine that they would bring Catherine back after all of this. And they've stopped, you know, they're not filming. I think they were about to start shooting. They've shot for a couple of weeks and then stopped. So I'm not really sure, but I don't really need to see Austin and Madison's bullshit for a season.

Or just Austin. Does it fare to blame Thomas Ravannell for Catherine's issues over the weekend? Because aren't they back together? I feel like if they're back together, I think it's fair to blame everything on Thomas Ravinell because that just makes me always feel happy. Listen, I blame coronavirus on Thomas Ravinell, so I say blame whatever you'd like on him. He's probably walking out there without a mask, just like, small and roses and coffin on windowsills.

Just like, let's see who gets this quote unquote channe virus. You know he's saying stuff like that. So that's the the world going on outside of our little fish bowls over here, I guess. Yes, yes. But inside the fish bowl, we have Raquel and Danica working at Surr. It's just another night at Sur, and here come the Tom's reporting for a bathroom cleanup duty because they have to clean the bathroom because they lost its softball.

Yeah. Why are you wearing matching shirts to clean the toilets? Well, say, are they coming there, uniform shirts? You know, they're uniform old Navy flower shirts or whatever. And Santa Vodka's,

because where the Tom's, Dean. Yeah, we should also mention that Lisa is wearing a blazer, a black blazer, and then under it, not necessarily a shirt, but it seems like it's some sort of lingerie, but then a black neck tie, and on the black neck tie are like three bejeweled scarabs.

It was like, she's fully gone off the rails. Yeah, Lisa Vanderpump is basically going with like a sudden, she just looks like a sudden outfit. It's like from head to toe at all times right now. They showed a clip of her where she's sitting there having a meeting and she's wearing like half of, you know you remember that movie Annie and there was that guy Poon Javen he wore like the turban thing it's like half of a glittery um turban and then I don't even know what's going on she looked like a cereal box.

Yeah I mean she is really leaning into the magician look and now even magicians are like um she doesn't define us. You've got Annie. You've got Annie. I haven't seen Annie in about 35 years or so so I don't know. I think the last part of Annie I watched was that part in serial mom where the lady is watching tomorrow, tomorrow. Oh the boss watched Annie again. It's a note.

You want to talk about someone who gets a shitty edit. Poor pepper. I don't even know who pepper is to be honest. Is that like another orphan? Same on you. I'm not going to explain Annie to you. What is this? The straight person sound.

No. Go watch God, Annie. I don't want to watch Annie. Yes, you're going to watch Annie, the color purple. I'll watch the color purple, but I don't want to watch Annie. Yes, you're going to watch Annie, the color purple. I want the color purple, but I don't want to watch Annie. OK, I don't want to watch Annie. I've seen it. I saw in the theaters when I was a little child.

OK, and I think I cried. But I cried at everything as a child to be fair. But I don't feel the desire to go back and watch Annie. OK, well, that's allowed. It's a shame, but it's an allowed shame. Thank you. So, um, yeah, so anyway, so the guys are cleaning the bathroom and Lisa's like, oh, you should have done something productive like, shave my legs or something.

Oh, get it! Magic with a side of comedy! Comedy tonight. And what's this band's shorts is like, oh, excuse me why fantasized about what it would be like to shave Vanderpump's legs. First, she would be in an outhouse bucket. I mean a porcelain tub.

I mean a marble tub. I mean It's like oh my god get me out of this fantasy. Yeah, I want my ears out I didn't even bother committing any of the fantasy to notes because I was like I just don't want this I'm over this joke and it's like It's this is going on too long and at least I'm trying to do that thing where she's being like naughty You know and joke naughty and sweet as she's like oh naughty, you know, and Jit fl- naughty and sort of tautious. She's like, oh, do not wipe your nose with the hand. You're using the clean toilet.

You're irrasseable fool. Oh, no. So then we go to James behind the booth again, back where he belongs. It's her. And he is just so exciting, are excited as customer comes up and it's like, hey, good to see you here. And he's like, oh, I just like squeeze and like squeeze his hands. I know he's like, this is long time coming, okay?

JK's back, baby. JK's back. Everyone's like, excuse me, sir, could you pass the red pepper flakes, thank you. And Rick, I was like, my table's always asked me when you're coming back and now I can say you're back. And they also always ask me where their food is. And I'm like, I don't know when James is coming back. What are we talking about?

So the Tom's are like done with cleaning and so they're still like their insert and they're like talking about how they're leading by example Which is why they're doing it and then Britney walks up to them and is so british guess happy for scuper So uh last night Britney when everything happened like with jacks like rage texting He said we weren't invited to your pull party and like we were like okay Well then I guess we'll have our own pool party and said oh That's the kind of misstep you're not a cool guy You just have your own party like you guys don't even ever have anyone over ever like you guys don't even do that

You're not have no people over people He's like dude we did last night You know what like I'm sick of dealing with this bullshit of like Jack's always saying dude I'm gonna push you out of this friend group, you know, I'm dude. I'm done with this so Britney is like all matching bullshit bullshit and she sort of hops away Which is like sorry your your husband disinvited everyone so Yeah, what else are they supposed to do they're gonna have their own party the over it? Stupid Britney So yeah, what else are they supposed to do? They're gonna have their own party. Go over it Stupid Brittney

She really pissed me off this episode. She really pissed me off. Oh, it's so nice to finally see Brittney getting some Some attitude from people. God. How many years has it been? We've been waiting forever so Dana and Brett go on a date together and they're sitting at a table. And I assumed that they were meeting someone because they were sitting on the same side of the table, but it turns out they just were having a side-by-side date, which was really pretty terrible.

Yeah, and then they didn't, I don't know if Charlie's service just sucked or what, but they ended up going to the bar anyway. So, like, put some point. Oh, yeah, you're right. So. So Brett is like, it's another night where Brett is doing his like poofy hair, which is just like, I don't even want to imagine what Brett is looking like right now in quarantine because his hair was already amassed.

He was doing quarantine hair before there was even a quarantine. Yeah, and he's so, he's so him about, he's like such a YouTuber about it. He's like, he's my hero, okay? And she's like, um, I can't believe I'm dating this fucking guy. Yeah, it's like, it's more than okay. It's unbelievable.

And then Charlie comes over in her uniform, which is like a mini skirt and a bra, which is basically, I guess, West Hollywood, you know? So I will never wait tables. We'll never be allowed to wait tables West Hollywood again. So she's like will never wait tables. We'll never be allowed to wait tables in West Hollywood again So she's like hi look who's it mine? She goes look who's on my neck of the woods

Thanks for coming to hide so Charlie has a second job at hide which I actually really appreciated seeing that because I like that she's just she's poor, you know like that it's not like, like she's a real waitress, right? She has to have two jobs to, just to pay the rent. So I appreciate that. Your one Bravo, man. She's like, to support my career as a one year Bravo star, I have to have multiple jobs that forced me to wear underwear as a uniform.

Woo. Yeah. So let's, can we also talk about the fact that Dana looks very pretty. She's, I don't remember what she's wearing, but she's wearing, I think like a black about the fact that Dana looks very pretty. She's, I don't remember what she was wearing, but she's wearing, I think like a black something or another, but she looks very pretty. And Brett is wearing this like oversized flannel shirt

that's open down to his navel. I mean, he looks, I mean, it was like a, some sort of strange throwback to 94. And I'm like, you're in like a, you're in like a restaurant where people are dressed up. Ish, you know, like, could you at least put some effort into this, this terrible? And thankfully, Charlie was there to totally dig him.

She's like, so is flannel your thing? Is that your thing? He's like, no, no. And then we see like a Britain flannel montage. Yeah. And then what does Dana say? She says, he's like a pulp onion. Is that what you say? She says, she goes says he's like a pulp onion. Is that what you said? She said she goes

He's like a sexy Paul Bunyan and Charlie goes is he though? Is he though anyway enjoy your loss and Bangkok and Stockholm drinks? Charlie just always tears down Brett and it's amazing and also like everyone Brett is so obvious and everyone always has a very clear read on him and he can he always tries to deny it every single time she's like so you're always wearing flannel is like no not no not and they had like so many different shots of him wearing that flannel unlike with everything it's like so this is the first time you've worn your hair like this no it's not I always wear my hair like this I always wear my hair like this and I always wear my hair like this.

And it's like always like back. You good? He's a compulsive liar. That's why he's hired for this show, you know? It's required. Come the shoes. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef.

You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder-Yah. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just say in okay. Kristie Wawardy-Dowardy. Nobody sucks it to us like Amy Sarkarellas. Jamie, she has no last name. Don't return to center, it's Lauren Fender. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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Vetchas! And our super premium Patreon subscribers! Let's take off with Tamala Plane! Oops, she did it again! It's Brittany Montana! Give them hell, Miss Noel! I take the fifth with Dana Smith! Let's give them a kiss, huh?

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It's Jo! Is a frog's ass watertight. It's Rosen's Sadie. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. It's Lordeus, the Lordeus of the Rings. Yes, we should with Carrie Bridgewood. Nancy C. C. C. C. Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Sto Easy somebody get us ten CCs of Betsy MD. Let's get racy with Miss Stacy Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Incredible edible Matthew sisters and she ain't no shrinking violet koo char. We love you guys So he's like yeah, you know all he can do is fucking gossip

Yeah, this guy so he's like he goes to the bar and he's like, two but laughs and some yeager, please. And then he's like, you know, I talked to Max and I asked if there's something there. Because I'm in a weird place, you know, that's just the kind of guy I am. Just worried about everybody else. Yeah, that's just me. Oh my God. It's like his attempt to be this soulful, thoughtful, great friend. It's like his attempt to be this soulful thoughtful like great friend

It's so terrible. It's like it's so blatantly fake and watching him trying to convince us that is the that it's very sincere is hilarious Yeah, he's like well I asked I asked Max to take Daned lunch and he was cool Then I asked Max if I could take Daned lunch and then like smash cake in her face and he was cool And then I asked Max if I could like take the Lent with cake on her face while I fuck her from behind where it max girlfriend's panties on my head and then it's like I hit a wall bro like I just cared so much bro I care so much

which is funny because later in the episode he's talking about how they don't have that they don't have sex because he doesn't have feelings for her it's like that he's interested in her but he has that well this whole thing that comes up later barely makes sense but it's almost like he It's like that he's interested in her. He has, well, this whole thing that comes up later barely makes sense. But it's almost like he's implying

that he's not interested in having sex with her, but here we see that he actually asked about, asked permission from Max, and then Max, he had a wall. By the way, he probably had a wall because it's like every two seconds, hey man, is the cool guy techs in right now? Is that cool? You know, I can be upset, cool. Hey, I was thinking about sending an emoji to,

I know she would like some emojis, but I don't know, is that your thing or a time to send an emoji? Okay, and now I'm thinking about like, fuck your, okay, you know what, enough, stop asking me, stop asking me. Yeah, it's like the least romantic scene ever, and that's saying something for this show, because this is not a very romantic show.

And she takes him out to the parking lot, and they start making out, I'm just not buying this, I'm not buying it, and it's making me hate data, Okay. Well, Dana's really done nothing wrong except be like thirsty to have a storyline with the guys, which is her job. Like she's just doing her job. But she's not really doing anything wrong, but she's really not doing anything right either. I'm kind of done. Yeah, I'm like, you know, I've been watching Shits Creek and there's a character on their names Stevie who's this like like like really sardonic Receptionist at the motel they all live in and she's kind of one of the weakest characters on the show

She's actually like deeply unfunny and like always has like the same read on everything and unfortunately Dana I'm realizing that Dana seems to have like like aspire to be Stevie personality-wise and it's like it's I feel like Dana we could get so much more out of Dana, but then at the same time she says things like, you know, the things with Brett and I is that we work in the same restaurant, we're both single AF, we're both hot and we both have the same interests. I'm like, what interests do you guys have? Is it buying weird costume clothing at discount on the internet?

Is that what it is? I don't get it. And I look like when a medium fries calls itself a Super size, you know, it's like you're hot you're both hot like what are you talking about like you both are thin So congratulations like neither one I wouldn't I wouldn't say like either one of you is ugly But also if I were both of you I wouldn't sit around me like oh my god for so hot It's like on that flick show too hot to handle. There's just they're all kind of butterflies is you know yeah and they're better face sex addicts and one of the girls is like we're the hottest people in the world. World do you people live in? Also like please don't use that as a metric for your relationship.

Maybe use it as a metric for like why you want to sleep together, but I like to be like, yeah, I'm interested in it because you know, we're both hot. Listen, if Brad and Angelina couldn't work out and they are arguably to the hottest people in the entire world, the universe, and they couldn't make it work it's just, it's not gonna take you through everything. It's not gonna get you there. But either way, Brett is like, you know what? It's murky butters, but I got a big boat. So onward we go, 55 knots. I'm like, you know what happens to big boats in murky waters?

They crash, you idiot. You ever hear of the Titanic? Yeah, he's really trying to stick with his modical theme throughout this whole scene. Like, that is like the worst thing to say. Be like, well, my breaks are out, I got no lights, but I'm on a highway, so let's just hit that gas. Yeah, like totally just sound dangerous.

So then the tricky modical song for the next scene is, it's us against the world, it's us against the world, it's us against the world And I was like finally like some real people issues like people protesting for equal rights or something No, it's Jack's trying to cut like some fucking frozen food with a spatula Yep, that's what I wrote down to Jack's license something with a spatula Yeah, so Brittany comes out and we're like, Jaiyans! you are not gonna believe this He's like hello as in like you know, he's almost like reprimanding her for not first saying hello

Just hey sorry, okay anyway, I saw a sandable who's not a cool guy and at work tonight And he told me that they're gonna have a pool party of the exact same side as the same night as us and everything And is a pool party and same day at some pool party. It's a same man I wear a wearing day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Jackson's like, why? I don't know It's like they got mad at you for texting my ex. Oh, we're gonna put this all on max He didn't just text max, okay? Yes, it's like everybody and called them losers and was disinviting people you dipshit Come on, break me and then jacks Jack's then takes it to this place, of course, he goes, this is so sand-evolved.

You know, such a sand-evolved move. After you guys begged me to have him at the wedding, have him back, he's gonna be good. I should never have him, which is like this has nothing to do with that, cause sand-evol is reacting to what you did. And also, like, way to reveal, although everyone knew it anyway, how much Jack's is such a grudge character.

You know, like, Jack's was just waiting for a moment to just, to throw this back up, Rene. They'll like, have this over her head. It's such a power move to subjugate her if you ask me not to get like that, but I am gonna get like that. He's such a fucking asshole. Yeah.

And he's like, well, you know, stand up all. It's been one thing after another this summer. Like he didn't come to my bachelor party. He made a scene about my pastor. Like for anybody who's falling for that bolstered apology of Jackson Brittnay's, by the way, there you go. And by the way, he didn't go to your bachelor party because it was like his dad's birthday or something like that. Like where he's in St. Louis, like, and he told you why he couldn't go and he was, and he was nice about it. He didn't make a scene about the past. He pulled you aside to, to remind you, basically, hey, you're a public figure. You got to be careful about this and you made the scene about it.

And then he goes, and this is that as fun. They have no furniture. Like the fact that like so much seems to revolve around their furniture or lack thereof is hilarious when these people spend most their time in clubs Which really don't have much furniture in them either just a few couches here and there Britain he's like why are they doing this? Because you just invited them to your party. What are you confused about? I know it's very very simple and he's so stupid She goes where are they doing this and he says it's not they it's Tom and Ariana

Well, that was a lie that's how pronouns work Literally it's fake Yes, and pretty goes it just makes me say and We have a big freaking blowup sign coming too, which by the way, Randall clearly paid for, right? Like, that was, I think it gets mentioned at some point. Rand is the one who paid for that slide, which is why she's sad because, I think they just want to kiss Randall's ass, right?

And I think they'll be embarrassed. That Randall got a slide and then no one's coming. I'm like Randall would fucking care. He's just so desperate to be like around anybody younger and cooler You know, yeah, I'm surprised Randall's not the slide I'm so my He's like Tom Sandeval the cry baby little Bitch, he's little bitch Jackson's on this tear tear lately, just calling guys little girls.

Like that's just thinking. He's like, way, he's like a little league coach. Yeah, I grew up. But it's also a little problematic. It's problematic to associate like femininity with like, like, like as a negative trait, right? Like, look at, he's like a little girl, he's a fucking woman, he goes,

he's a fucking woman, sorry, I don't mean to bash women, but you're worse than a child. So basically, he's saying that to be a woman is to be a child. So I'm like, you are such an asshole, you are terrible. And also, by the way, you are the most childish person, childish person on here right now. Yeah, it's like, this person on here right now? Yeah.

It's like this whole thing is just petty, giant. And he's like, he is, he is. He's been cutting his whole fucking life. Here comes time, everybody. Look at me, I'm time. Look at me on my phone. Here's what Jack said, everybody. I'm a 10-year-old tattletail, little girl, everybody.

Look at me, tick-tockin' the tattletail, everybody. You know, if he hadn't done that stupid rage text, none of this would have happened. You know, it's my fault. Oh, so it's my fault. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm just saying, if you didn't send those messages, it wouldn't have happened.

And you might not have called with this, but not your fault. You just called called it. It's not there. He's too. He's just grasp on English. He's like, I'm going to the gym and she was really jacks. How many times have you made the gym today?

Because we know that that's like Jack's like getting blow jobs in a park, right? Like what the fuck is Jacks doing? He's not going to the gym three times a day. No, he's not. Also, one of the things that Jack's got mad about is the fact that you know, Jack's pulled Tom aside at Kristen's launch party thing and was like, hey dude, sorry, I was in a bad space. I don't know. I'm like losing my mind But like of course you're both welcome to my party, right? And so he's upset because he felt like they buried it and then Tom is still being petty. So he's upset about that.

Well, guess what, Jacks? You're the one who quote unquote buried it with Tom early right before your wedding. And then said, listen, I don't, I'm saying it's buried, but it's not buried because I just wanted to shut up and I'm just gonna have my wedding, okay? So if anyone knows what it's like to pretend to be like, okay, I'm cool, but not really feel that way, it's used.

So stop being so angry at Tom, because you're the king of doing that. Yeah, and Brittany tells us, when Jack's did she know me that 19 times, I didn't see much of him, and he was gone from the house a lot, and so now I just don't want a repetitive thing of that repetitive thing. Like, welcome to your life.

It's one long repetitive thing of a repetitive thing. Yeah, congrats. You're four weeks into your marriage and you have theoretically decades of this ahead of you. I mean, of course, you're not going to last more than seven years. But anyway, Jack's is so now we see like, now we start seeing Jack's on his IG doing all these stories and he's like Guess what I'm going back to Luke method around you today. Yeah Guess what I've taken so many classes this week that my wife thinks I'm leading a double life, huh? But since I'm talking about it on a G. I'm clearly not leading a double life

So therefore I'm being so upfront about it. I'm clearly not to hopefully cover up the fact that I really am actually. So yeah, IG out. Yeah. Yeah. This whole show is Jack's just on his IG live proving that he's not cheating because he's filming something in the car for five seconds. Not really sure, but not really sure how that works, but whatever dude. Yeah, we've all seen murder mysteries. We know about things like fake alibis.

We know what's going on. Yeah. So Max, Leeson can't come into Chome-Chome. And there was a strange song whose lyrics, I think I'm pretty sure I botched, but I think it went only the strong will survive. Now I'm like one of a kind. Is it real? How do I feel? Now I'm like one of a kind. Is it real? How do I feel? Pretty sure those aren't the lyrics, but it's the best I could do. So he counted Tom Thomas. He's like, all right, listen, we're doing a kind of big photo sheet for the Hollywood Weppled. It highlights our businesses. Villa Blanca, Tom Tom, the garden at Tom Tom, Ville Blanca, Sir, Caesar Spalus, Vandapumpian,

Rumpian, Pukisnuki, talking Wagi, Sidewalks and Gleesa. I was like, all right, you just need to retire, ladies, take a break already. Yes, we're gonna be having a whole big thing, of course you can't tell them the truth and you have to tell them how amazing I am Oh get it get it Sandevolts like oh yeah, I've already learned about that last time Ariana said something bad about you She got stuck for a season doing core scenes with you, so Learn that lesson So there's gonna be like a one-year anniversary party that they're gonna do after this photo shooting stuff and

We learn that Tom Tom made a profit in fact they doubled their money And I actually believe that because there's quite frequently at least before the quarantine stuff Those quite frequently a line-out front so I actually believe that they did make a profit I don't know why I'm weighing on this as if anyone cared like I'm on CNBC right now, like giving my financial forecast for Dom Tom, I guess I am. But yeah. And Kramer, and this is fucking nuts. Let's tell you that much. Yeah, but it's tricky and it does seem kind of to read in PK this scene because they're like, well congratulations, we made a profit which is completely rare for restaurants to ever make a profit But if you want to a profit you can have it or you can choose what's under cell number two

Which is letting us keep all that money for a five-squirt a five-square foot garden next door Well as we all know there Restaurants are not very profitable and especially the first year they don't own a lot of money It's hard to get any sort of profit, which is why we have giant estates around the entire world. Yes, all from restaurant money, that is hard to get. Yes, yes. Yeah, so they can keep that money or they can just let them keep it to reinvest in the garden next door. And if they do, it would be called the garden at TomTom, instead of the garden.

I was hoping that like the alternate name would be like, she shoes garden, you know, something like that. Like I give it to Shina, you know, she shoes whole garden. I'm sorry. I was edited to say that. So, um, you saw anyway, so she's like, I need an answer by Monday and if you're going to reinvest that money. So there's that. I like that we got money by Monday storyline, even if they're deciding to ignore this

Fafty drama. That's true. That's a very good point. So Tom Schwartz's like, oh man, I feel like I'm stuck right now. I'm like, okay, you're not, you haven't done anything with this restaurant. So just give your money for it and just be done with it. I don't know why I mad at him, I just won those days. So now we have more jacks on Instagram.

It's just talking about lit method. And he's talking about this trainer there named Tiffany. He's like, wow, I'm really impressed with Tiffany. Wow, you know what, female fitness instructors, they make men look like little girls. They look like little girls. Way to empower women and beat them down in the same way. Exactly. So you're a little girl until you're at a point where you're then making men look like what you used to be. Okay. Yeah. He's like, I just want everyone on Instagram to know. I do respect women. So as many of you can slide into your DMs, slide into my DMs right now so I can fuck you. Thanks. Yeah. So my screen just got all messed up. So now we're back over at Britney's

house and she's sitting on a couch next to, of course pillow that says Mr. and Mrs. Couchy. Oh, what's on the couch, too? Oh geez She turns into shadow my door a little bit So Lala comes over and say hey girl, I've been texting your I know you little great great right now. You're so cute Lala is dressed like some sort of strange, like Austin Powers, Paisley spy. She's in this, she's in like a business suit

or something, like a full on suit but it's just aggressively Paisley. I just feel like Lala, it's so close to getting her looks right, but never quite lands it. She's trying so hard to be like a rich, old divorced lady in Hollywood, you know? Like you're the young married one. Just enjoy that. You'll be the old divorced one soon enough. You know, she's dressing like one of those ladies who's who know like she senses she looks stupid,

but it proves how much money that she got in her divorce. So it's worth it, you know? Yeah, she's going to like, like demand a role in RANDS production company and then she will sort of like annoy everyone in the office. And she'll try to like, re-enlight projects, a better like, seemingly, they're like really about something, but they're really cheesy and poorly written, you know? Yeah, like the streets of Salt Lake. The ref street, the ref streets of Salt Lake. Yeah, or like the real story behind Madagascar,

you think it's all about funny animals? Well, no, guess what? Some of those animals are sick. It's like, it's a cartoon in Lava. There's no back story. So Lava's like, thanks. I'm going to Danis Comedy Show tonight, and I said, that's why.

Yeah, that's why I dressed in a pantsuit. So I dressed in a $10,000 pantsuit. So Jack's calls up Lala, and he's like, hey, did you say that Brett's coming to my house, and she's like, well, I'm going to talk to him tonight. And then Jack's, some reason that pisses up, because he's like, well, where you going to talk to tonight. And then Jack, some reason that pisses up, because he's like, well, where you get to talk to him? She's like, I'm going to Dean his comedy show, and I guess they weren't invited.

He's like, fuck it. Y'all can go to Tom's. Fuck it. Okay, relax. Relax, sir. Were they not invited, or do they just not go to anything that's not theirs? Because they didn't go to that dinner party either.

Were they not invited to that? I'm curious about the invites on this show, because it's weird, because they never mentioned the the other events and then they just never show up and lets us about them in some way you know yeah although I think they kind of they've kind of like figured it out because they could like either stay home and just like chill out or they could drive all the way to the west side for a comedy hour. So, I think they got it sort of figured out in a good way. Uh, so Lalo's like eating candy or something, which I'm only pointing out because she's just terrifying.

Stop doing that to your face, just stop it. I don't know how many times the season I need to say it, but stop it. I'm afraid for the candy. So anyway, she's like calm down, Jacks. And he's like, my wife thinks I'm cheating because I'm at the gym Did she tell you that? Stay there

Yeah, he goes what wife what wife yosner husband for going to the gym. I'm like Why I'm so don't get to see their husbands? Yeah, like literally every wife every husband is always at the gym Yeah, like no, okay, it's what I said was it's weird to your fight with all your friends And send him these ratings that word is gonna go back to the site. Please, I love you. I always love you. Let me just hang stuff on it. Cool guy. By the way, I've been saying you're a cool guy in my head all week long. Ever since you went, I haven't even gone back and watched that clip. For anyone

who doesn't know what we're talking about, it was last week when I bring you some glasses on her dog. It said, you're a cool guy. You guys said, hey, can you sleep on sunglasses? You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. Cause it's so pretty.

So he hangs up on her and she's like, well, all I'm saying is it to some behavior was before yeah, Britney welcome to your life And so Lala's like, you know like I guess you know we're gonna come so don't worry about it. Did she get a DJ? Because Randall said that you guys totally need a DJ and Britney's like do you know where she's like yeah, I know this kid named James K K Canva that's Calla So Lala totally think she's gonna be having some sort of like redemption storyline now James right

She's like look we were fighting, but now I'm calling upon you and I'm gonna empower your dreams right? She's like head Jamison I don't know if you're available for a DJ gig at Jackson's house. Oh, I'm gonna do appreciate you and what I mean Sof but already said yes to Tom and then afterwards a promise for care. I take a two ice cream social at last. Okay. Sorry good Also, I'm sorry. I just said James KKK Kennedy. I don't know why I made him like a grand dragon I met DJ Kennedy DJ made him like a grand dragon. I met DJ Kennedy. DJ. DJ.

DJ James Kennedy. DJ James Kennedy. It's okay. Am I college? There was a fraternity called Tri-Cap, which in case you know Greek letters, when you see it on the thing, it's three Ks in a row. Oh my God. Okay, okay. But to be fair, to show you how old my school was, it actually pre-existed the KKK, which is why it was still allowed. And, encouragingly, it was mostly a minority frat

when I graduated, so there, take that, KKK. So Brittany still doesn't get any of this, and she's like, a lot of them say I'm great. So Brittany's like, why would you play something something on the sun, die at the same time and someone else is to be a jerk? That's why Brittany, what are you not understanding about this? Yeah.

It's like, so what are they supposed to do? They've been disinvited or they're just supposed to sit around and like, just not have fun? It's called you're on Vanderpump rules. Being a jerk is like part of the contract. Yeah She's like, well, this is one person does something wrong and then the other person does something wrong Yeah, it's called retaliation you twit you idiot Britney It's kind of like the TV this whole time. I love watching Britney get what she got get what she deserves so so

Same quickly. I mean, it's like instant karma. It's amazing Yeah, Lala is like next up for me I'm so excited but like pretty like yeah Yeah, it's like someone doing something wrong and the other person does something wrong to you It's like oh, so like when someone shoots on you and then you go back to them So like that is that what it is like wrong and wrong? Oh God So then how about this how about this this? Actually, if you really want because that was me just being, you know, snarky, but how about Jack's cheated on her and

then she went off to Vegas and fucked up random guy. Remember, which by the way, I fully supported, but it's kind of the same thing is happening here. So she is. Yeah. So Jack is making another video and he's just like kind of outside the gym And he's like what if you get where I live here. He go. This is my new house That's it. Yeah, he goes yeah, yeah, I was waiting I thought there's gonna be more to you But that's literally it. That's like this whole scene My new ass I'm still the gym totally not getting a blowjob in the park. Well, he goes,

well, this is what my life will probably divorce me because I spent too much time here. And I guess he didn't have his ring on. And I'm sure like when this actually happened, there was a whole thing like, did you see that Jackson have his ring on during his IG or something like that? Yeah, they've had a lot of those stories this year.

Yeah, people on Instagram freaking out because Brittany's not wearing her ring or Jackson's not wearing her ring. And then they do something later on in the show when Brittany's making hamburgers Where they show her taking off her ring and close up and then putting it on the counter and close up I'm not saying really is this the big is this the big drama that we're trying to protect Jackson Brittany from We're showing reasons they took off their ring a couple of times in an episode come on guys. Yeah, it's like rush them on for wedding rings so now we go to the West Side comedy theater and Stasi and Bo are there practice those two heroes are sitting in the audience. Wow,

that editing really didn't did a number on me. So anyway, they're practicing their comedy laugh and then Lala and Max show up and Brett shows up not in plaid. He's been shamed out of his plaid. So I was very excited and Stasi is like, oh my god. It's so sweet that you guys both came to support your girlfriend I'm almost like yeah supporting like gang bang And Max like oh did you guys did you guys to like she? Now did you did you cuz she's like asking where we're going after this and like I'm just gonna say not hawk I'm gonna say not hawk that's what that likes I'm not not

that's my hawk my hawk you know how to do that how good who owns it I don't know but they mentioned about 35 times the span of three seconds on the show let me guess Mohammed has opened a restaurant called night hawk yeah probably

Mohammed yeah the other one is the special. So then Brett is like, you know, he has this weird situation with Max, so he's like trying to get like a fist bump from Max. He's like pound it, pound it, pound it, and Max is like, I don't know, I don't know, but he like, it's like a reluctant pound. Yeah, reluctant pound.

It's like Dano's entire story arc. Um, they're at the Westside comedy club, which is my friend's place. My friends. Is it really? Yeah. Um, so sorry, I didn't say anything shady about it. Well, it's not their fault.

I mean, this guy, Jesus, can we just, it's like in one of those old movies where they have the fool, you know, like where there's the king and he has the fool in the court, the jester, whatever. And then they always kill the jester. Like in every king movie, they end up, the king ends up killing the fucking jester. And I was totally rooting for King Henry VIII right now. I was like, please kill this person. This person deserves it. Where is this theater, by the way? It's all the way by the ocean, Santa Monica. It's on the promenade. It's kind of in a back alley in that promenade area. Oh, okay, got it.

You know, there's a new board game that just came out called Santa Monica. It looks really cute, but I just got triggered because that's like Santa Monica. I was like, I feel like just to play the board game, I'm gonna have to spend 45 minutes getting to my board game. Well, going to Santa Monica now is like, okay, do you live by the gap or by the Nords? To Nordsie. Is there even a Nords trims over there? I don't know. I don't know. There's a cheesecake

fact. That's the biggest fucking mall. Oh my god. Okay. So, um, so this guy, this guy, this guy, you guys the warm up guy. He's like, okay, hey, what's your name back there? He's like, max. Yeah, okay, are you gonna pound your friends bump? Fist, no, no, okay, and what's your name? Bo, oh wow, that's a strong name. Like, max and bo, bo, and max, uma, Oprah. Am I right, everyone?

No, max, he goes, max, yeah, that's a strong name. And then what about you, fella? Oh, Bo's your name? Oh, never mind, never mind. Bo's like, what the fuck? Oh, name comedy? Like, that's where strong name and the what about you fella? Oh, Bose your name. Oh never mind never mind Bose look what the fuck? Oh name comedy like that's where we're at right now name comedy and that's this opening joke for Everything you know it is. I'm gonna just one guy because of his name But then give another guy compliment because of his name. How are you feeling? So Danny gets out there. She's like um um, anyone here are any stranger things fans?

Yeah, I really really like to, uh, 11 because I get a lot of nosebleeds on the weekends, you know what I'm saying? Which, I actually didn't get until right now. I was like, oh, but now I get it! I'm trying to talk to me. Wait, I get it. I was like, uh, I was laughing despite myself. And she's like, anyone here have a toxic person in your life? Like, I mean, I have this one guy

who only calls me at obscure hours. And like, he only, like, comes around when things are really bad for him. And when he needs money, yeah. But my dad's not all bad. Yeah. They have like the cameras on Max. He's like, she's talking about Max.

I was like, it's gonna be her dad. And Stasi says, I really like connectivity. It really speaks to me. She's actually funny. She doesn't seem actually too bad up there. You've seen a lot of bad standup on Bravo. And I feel bad sometimes, because usually they only cherry pick the worst moments, but she doesn't seem too bad. Oh yeah, it's, you know, I feel bad sometimes because usually the only cherry pick the worst moments, but she doesn't seem too bad.

Oh, yeah. It's usually like, Resa, Asian people driving in my right? Remember that. Oh, my God. Oh, I remember. Hey, Ronnie, you know where we should go to right now? Where? Nighthawk. Let's go to Nighthawk. Oh my God. You guys want to cut a nighthawk? Let's go to Nighthawk. I think we should go to Nighthawk. Dana comes over to the table. She goes on a ditch just to get a my hot? I think it comes on the table. She got one of ditches.

She got a night hawk. It's like, I'm a nice comic, Dana. You're taking like half the crowd with you. The second you go. So then we have another Jack's update. He goes, a little update out of the gym. Ring is back on. Marriage is still back on.

Annoying, right? Like, I know how I feel when I have 50 million people asking why I don't have my ring on. Ugh! I like, they probably ask that because you just said your marriage is going to end because you go to the gym too much. And I don't have my ring on. Ugh! I like, they probably asked that because you just said your marriage was gonna end because you go to the gym too much and you don't have your ring on. You got to love Jack's pumping up his own Instagram numbers on Instagram.

Yeah. So over at Sir, Rickel's like, calcuating on a table and this guy's like, shit, I get the lamb or the duck. And I was like, well done, sir. Well, great line. You really sold that one. Rikail has never been more confused.

She's like, we don't sell livestock here. Do you want sea bass? So Ariana is teaching a guy to make a drink. And she's like, that disinfected my face. That was so fucking strong. It's like, are you just trying to make this restaurant look like someplace that nobody wants to go to? It wasn't good to a restaurant where the bar trainer is teaching people to make weaker drinks. Yeah, seriously. So Lisa comes on over and she's like, hello. And now she's doing like the same

look as before with like a slight variation. slight variation, blazer, lingerie. But instead of a tie with a bunch of bejeweled scarabs on it, she just sort of has a weird black cravat or ascot. Like, who is doing this to Lisa? Can we go back to season one Beverly Hills Lisa styling? Because that's real. Like, it has gone so awry. I'm not on board. I think it's hilarious. It's like she's always been because that's really like it has gone so awry. I'm not on board.

I think it's hilarious. It's like she's always been glue gunned. You know, like somebody's just like, I can just see Rosio with there with like a glue gun and some, you know, Michael's products. It's just getting her ready to go out every day. Make me sparkle darling. So she's like, Ariana darling. Have we sold that a little depression story line, sweetie? Did me touching we solved that little depression storyline, sweetie? Did me touching that horse's dinky soul, you're in time. Tell her life. She's like, actually, yes.

So, um, so they're gonna be doing something at Covenant House. And then Arianna tells, uh, Lisa about this whole Pu Party debacle and everything. And Lisa's like, oh, and G, you're not having it on the same day are you? That's absolutely wild. Oh, I'm not saying that I'm going to come by but I do love a pool party and supporting other people's pool parties so you never know. She's like, well here's the thing, when you have someone bullying your friends for years and years and years and years and she goes Who jacks?

She's like yes jacks everyone's like fuck that guy, you know, and what is anybody losing by not being friends with jacks? Really? Let's be honest. Seriously? Oh, that's just please be professional as we give away my holy sweaters to those poor people are right darling Oh dear dear. I don't know what to do. I almost feel like I'm talking to get another broken bird in the evening A broken bird in the evening what got a bird could that be perhaps a hawk a hawk at night? Nighthawk let's go to my talk and now wek at night. Nighthawk, let's go to nighthawk! And now we're at nighthawk, magic!

So Dana, thank you guys so much for coming to my stand-up at Nighthawk. Thank you so much. Sassy's like, it was such a relief that you were so great because I was afraid I would have to pretend to laugh and I only had to sort of do that. Yeah. And she and I come say and say, ha! And she can, I can't really walk here because it's like a sock closet! I'm like, I'm really walking! No, like so did you.

She says, no I didn't because I wanted to work cute shoes because I'm going out afterwards. And Stasi's like, oh my god, I see this bitch still going out on her Instagram stories, and it's so inspiring that such a sad, lonely, aging woman with frozen eggs and no man on the horizon is still trying so hard. Good for you, Gina. Good for you. Anyway, Dana, congrats Dana. I can't wait to come to one of your shows. And from what I hear, there's competing pool parties in the valve tomorrow So I wish I could go but like I'm shooting so Anyway, I'm shooting just want to remind everyone I'm shooting

Shooting I'm gonna film so I'm gonna film with Cal Richards. We're talking over together So she's like how's that gonna work you guys have to pick or you are you gonna hop to both of them like back and forth and Mala goes No, I'm not hopping from both to both because I'm a fucking adult and I'm not going to some fucking Frat house with no furniture, okay? We don't even know if there's gonna be food there I'll be going to Jackson, Brittany's like and a dough No, it's shut the fuck up. L. Lala is to me down there now with like, like, if Jack's at the bottom, I'm not sure Brittany is second to the worst or Lala is, but Lala is now down there. She is so ridiculous.

First of all, a common area on her with the people who pretty much kept Lala on this show. There were those ones who were friends with her for a long time, and now, because basically Randall and Jack's are friends, because Jacks makes Randall feel young, and Randall makes Jacks feel rich. So they're friends, which is why, and Rand probably is like, I wanna go to Jacks' party. So now Lala's like,

mm, I'm gonna be an adult at the party that has a blow-up slide, okay? I'm gonna be an adult. Like, what are you talking about? Because there's no furniture. For granted, I'd tell Randall to buy a Shaz lounge. Yeah, I'm gonna be an adult like what are you talking about because there's no furniture for crying I tell Randall to buy a Shaz lounge. Yeah, I'm gonna be an adult at the guys party who just last week was screaming in public about some girl Sex tape to anyone who would listen Yeah, also like to be totally fair can't I don't understand these if they all live so close with each other

Can't they actually just hop from one to the other can't they spend Sometime at one some to the other. I don't understand why they actually do have to really because the whole point of it is telling jack's fuck you And you can't do people like that like why would they try to go to both? Yeah, no, I agree. I wouldn't go to jacks is I'm just say but I think that Lala is like real like she's so obnoxious and like the the amount of entitlement she exhibits by now being publicly ranz girlfriend is just so obnoxious. Yeah girl, you don't type resumes with your vagina, okay? That guy could have, that guy might have accomplished something, but fucking him doesn't mean you

did, okay? So get off of it. And stop trying to act like an adult on Vannapromprules. Do you realize why we love Sheena? It's she's never trying to be an adult. Yeah, yeah. So, well, except for the whole freezing her eggs thing. She's like,

but she doesn't want making out with a guy from the bachelor at, so they works for me. All right, I want to grow up. I'm a surzer rescued. So Sheena's like, wow, Doc's toxic. Me and told me I was dumb. And I shouldn't have planned my video, which I'm shooting, like a film. Tomorrow, I'm shooting.

Don't mention that. On his big day. And I was like, guess what? Your big day was on June 29th. Dummy. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Yeah, and she's right and by the fuck jacks like of course jacks God makes my blood Boy, all of course. He's like a stupid pool party is now like his day this important thing when he literally had a whole like a whole half Season dedicated to this to his wedding and now he's trying to pull it again. I'm glad she never is Yeah, I'm glad she knows that that your day was June 29th, honey, you know

Yeah, I'm glad you know said that your day was June 29th, honey, you know It's just so fucking funny because it's the young people versus the old people the season You know, it's like the old people are being youthed out and the old people are like trying to shame the young people like Oh, we're so mature. I can't believe we're talking about relationships right now when I'm engaged and the big end of the season Fight is about who's going to whose pool party. Yeah, I just can't make this up Yeah, I mean, and that's the thing like like people like Jackson Law they have to start saying like well I'm doing this because I'm an adult. They have to say that otherwise They otherwise have to face like growing irrelevance, you know in the context of this show Yeah, so stars who's like um someone needs to say something to Jack's

and I'm like one of the only people who could do it because to be quite frank, I think he's scared of me. Probably. So, um, so then Lala's like, um, uh, hello adult here. Can we talk about people that are actually talking at this table though, instead of people who are not here. Anyway, I heard you win the anime that last night. Whoa. Like, it's like real mature, Lala. She's like, what's the vibe? I mean, hi.

So now Max gets all moody. Max is like, Max is trying to be all like, emo, like John Qsac or something in an 80s movie. Like, no, no, no, I don't feel bad for you right now with your sulking and your Haul's tail. Yeah, yeah, so he's like oh, there's no vibe. It's just like it's the second time we made out like And Dana's like did I do something to you? What is your problem? And he's like you made out with my best friend. Yeah, like we talked to night to go, Tom and Arianna's too night to go, hey bro, control your chick dude, control your chick.

Oh god, ew gross. And like Max, just because you said how you felt doesn't mean that then she has to fall in line. And by the way, this is what the flashback was, him saying, you know, I'm cool, but I'm not, but I'm cool, but I'm not. But you can do your thing, but I'm not. So she's like, that was the most ambiguous thing ever.

So just because you finally came around and said how you really felt, guess what, it was too late because guess what? Guess what times to? She came back to you after she dumped you for a Jones on third versus Jones on Santa Monica mistake and groveled for you back and you turned her down, then now you messed up.

You messed up. Yeah. And Stasi's like, well, she doesn't owe you anything at this point, okay? And he's like, yeah, but, you know, it's my friend. It's like my friend, bra. And he's like, so dude, we made out, bro. And now that's nothing, okay?

I've been in LA for like a week, so I can say what it's like in LA. And now they, that's nothing, okay? I've been in LA for like a week, so I can say what it's lacking LA. And in LA, that's nothing, all right? It's not like we're fucking, and Dana's like, okay, Brett, you can try and deny it right now, to look good, but we have a thing, okay? We understand each other. And then Gina jumps in, and she's like,

have you care about us feelings? And why are you doing this like, moldable times? I'm just wrong. She's like, she's not the fuck up. So if you think he's someone's feelings for her, then why do you keep making out with her? You know, all of that, because you're saying basically

to Brett, like if you think that Max still has feelings, why do you keep making out? And Brett goes, she know, no, just no. You're not allowed right now. You're not allowed right now. It's like, I'm everywhere. I'm not allowed. now. You're not allowed right now. I'm like, I'm everywhere. I'm not allowed.

She's repeating herself. I'm maxing like you're lying, bro. You're lying. Tell her that because she's real gas up on you bra. Tell her right now you don't feel it. Because she's real gas up on you bra. It's like, what do we agree? Who says that?

She's real gas up on you, bra. I'm breathless. Do I know? I'm breathless like, I don't. He's like, dude, I don't okay? Like I'm interested in having her in my life I guess kind of like knowing her, like maybe like being told my perm looks good. But like, I don't have feelings for her. And then everyone gets quiet.

Yeah, everyone gets quiet. And all that goes, that doesn't even make any sense what you just said. And both like Dana is probably mortified right now. This is like, she's probably so embarrassed. And what a douchebag Brett is. Brett is the one who asked her out. He's been pursuing her. And then because he's like afraid of upsetting Max,

he's denying that he has feelings for her. He's like, no, no, I'm just interested in her, but I'm not feelings for her. I don't even know her. Which is by the way, the exact same thing he did to Shina. He's just such a worst. Like this guy shows up, he can never do anything but gossip about everybody else.

He hasn't been with her one time, but he hasn't brought up Max. So, that can be my number. Yeah, thankfully, for some weird reason, Stasi has become a voice of reason. He wrote it, and she's like, um, pick Elaine. If you're not certain about someone,

then you can't be bothered by who she dates or who she does You know I'm saying I'm not like as you guys are being really messy La la the one who just started this whole thing and then went Lot yeah, exactly she's like so who's dating who who's fucking you anyway you guys are so messy So Max is like look I'm not saying don't fuck anybody. You don't make out with anybody. I just don't want to hear about my friend. And she's like, you don't get to just say someone's

your friend and then they're off limits. Like I'm not in your little weird box, especially when he's fucked everybody in town. Yeah. My God. I can understand if Max, I can understand if Max is getting annoyed because he's like, you know what? It didn't work out. Oh my god. So I can understand the max. All right. I can understand if Max is getting annoyed because he's like, you know what?

It didn't work out. Everyone just, you guys do your thing. Stop asking me about it, just do it. I don't wanna deal with it. So that makes sense to me, but his whole thing. But I do have feelings for you. It's like, okay. Okay, sir.

He does it. Brett just told him he had to, basically, to have a story. He's like, dude, your best friend is hooking up with your friend and you're not mad on a television show. Are we going to be hired? Like, are you going to make an effort for us to get hired back? Like, come on. And so Max is making an effort looking like he cares, but he does not care. So back to Jack and either does Brett, none of them, and care, which is kind of the central problem. Right. Dana, there are just so many more fish in the LAC and they're just, they're way, you're hot.

You know what, to go back to the, like if you are gonna be like, hey, I'm hot, I deserve someone hot too, then you know what, there are hard like moves, like incredibly hot guys in L.A. Outside the surf pool, you know, you can, they're just, expand your horizons. Anyway, so now the next day,

Jack's back on Instagram, he's like, I feel like they should put a mattress in this place. And also, I think the male trainer heard me call them girls because they took it out and he's so hard. So guess what, turns out female trainers, they really are little girls after all. So there we go.

So over at the Covenant House, the Brittany and Arianna are with Fanderpump folding clothes that they're donating. And Brittany sees a cashmere sweater and she's like, I don't even know what cashmere gives thanks to me! And Lisa rips it out of her hands. It was kind of like a moment of a brutal honesty of like really where Brittany's mindset is. I mean, even though she was like, quote unquote joking,

I kind of feel like that was at that moment, it was like a primal instinct to go grab that cashmere sweater. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So Vanderpump is like, how are you Miss Taylor? I can't wait to hear you cry in a funny little accent in your paycheck. She's like, well, I've had rough couple dies, Lisa. Right, Jackson's race, Jackson's people, and then I was man, and then we started fighting,

and then he got into a cage with a spatula, and I was like, that's not what a spank is for, Dan! Ha ha ha ha! Ooh, but these are the best moments of his life. New house. Beautiful new muffin, which is sort of a microaggression against you. Ah ha! Oh, and look, look what else he has that's brand new. A seven of speeds from behind your ear magic.

So Brittany's like, it's just saying, Tom, we're looking for my failings, because now everyone has to choose whether to go to his house or our house, and that's why I hurt my failings, and it hurts my failings, because shut up with it, hurt your fucking feelings, okay? This is all your stupid fault. my family and it hurts my family because shut up with it hurts your fucking feelings okay this is all your stupid fault yeah and at least it's like well maybe he hit their feelings which is like one of those like end of it's like one of those teachable moments from a 1980s sitcom you know

and Arianna's like um hi I'm actually here in this scene too and listen Brittany I think you're just basically collateral damage in Jackson stand and she's like, okay All right, first of all, I don't know what that means, but people need to have respect for me As I do for them, I have so much respect for them, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all cool guys They're all cool guys in my book, except for Sandevol Please say it hurt your feelings again, please So Ariana's like, well, I mean if it't for you, I don't even know how many friends Jacks would have and Brick gets all pissy and she's like, I think everyone but Tom's

saying about me friends with Jacks. Her, my feelings, I would say that otherwise. And so Ariana was like, first of all, it was everyone else's ideas. It was like Katie's idea, it was Dana's idea, et cetera. Which I didn't roll back the tape to find out who actually originated the idea. Tom? Was it Tom and then they all co-signed it? Yeah, from what I remember, it was Tom, but everybody else was like, fuck yeah, I do it. Yeah, everyone like jumped, everyone like fully supported him in like a very supportive way.

That kind of felt like a group decision. And it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. And Britain is like, well, I will ask Heidi Maloney. And then Arianna just makes cringe face. Like, oh, she's a poor, stupid person. Poor Covenant House. They probably invited the cameras in, hoping that they would get like some good, you know, good screen time where we could see what their cause is. And honestly, anyone who watched the show and hadn't heard of Covenant House still has no idea what Covenant House even is.

Poor people, poor people, charity, charity, poor people. Yeah. So then we go over to Dedefee and Hollywood and Kady and Schwarzer on like a little dinner date. And Schwarzer is telling her about this whole like the god in it, oh, my investment thing and like whether or not that he should parlay the investment back in and Katie actually is like, yeah, I think you should. I think you should.

Parlay. So toddlers and TR is, I love it. She's like, Tom and I have come such a long way and we're such a good team now. Well, a few days after he just totally embarrassed me in front of people and said that's why he refuses to fuck me. But anyway, overlooking that, like, yeah, we're like a super team now. Yeah, we've really come a long way. Literally, it's a long way to get from Valley Village to this restaurant and Hollywood. It was Literally, it's a long way to get from Valley Village to this restaurant in Hollywood. It was a really long time. So Britney calls and or Britney texts, right? I guess does she call her text?

Well she texts first and she goes she texts Katie and goes Every on a let me know this poor party was your idea in the first place my feelings are hurt And Katie's like wait a minute Let me imagine an empty bottle of fratge in the side of the fridge store and I'm crying. Okay, you call it. It's like, what did I do? What did I do? And Tom's like, there are some kind of propaganda, blah, blah.

And she's like, and then Lala texted me, that's not cool Katie. Oh, shit. Oh, blah, blah. Like the only person, like, you know what, like, like Brittany was at the bottom, I should list, of course, you know, one up from Jack. Jack's just like inherently at the bottom. Brittany's at the bottom and then should list, of course, you know, one up from Jack. Jack's just like inherently at the bottom.

Brittany's at the bottom, and then Lala chimes him with a not cool Katie. Okay, you know what Lala? I think Lala is lower than Brittany because the thing is this, at least Brittany, like there's some semblance of like she's defending her man. Lala is just back, is just being awful, and there's nothing there's no you can't even have some sort of like perspective of why she is being like this She's just being awful. Yeah, so Brittany apparently got herself all around her And so Katie calls her if it's I don't think Brittany was expecting because Brittany is immediately like hi, I just want you to know I'm not blaming you by any means and she's what? You just called me, blaming me.

How about you blame Jacks? Cause he's someone rage-dexing everyone and being a fucking fool. So you rage people, Doc, you rage-dex people off the top, Katie! Yeah, so I like, that again, showing Brinney's like, you know, she's like, no, I'm not blaming you. Like you rage-dex people all the time.

I'm like, okay, so that sweet attitude is bullshit. So then Tom Schwartz does one of the best things he's ever done in the history of this show, is that he grabs the phone, and he's like, she took accountability for the rage-dressing, and we dealt with it, and now Jack's doing it, and so we're doing it with that. You're being an idiot.

I was like, oh my God. Tom Schwartz. It's about time he unleashed that on some being an idiot. Oh my god. I'm sure it's time to unleash that. I was like, I was like, oh my god am I really enjoying Tom and Katie for this scene. I can't believe it. This is amazing. Yeah. Katie's tricky like that because she'll sometimes like remember that whole season she had when she wasn't around Stasi. Yeah, yes. And she everyone was like, I like her. What happened? I like Katie all this episode. I was weird. I feel like I've been liking Katie ever since she got onto a big five of his shorts a few episodes ago about that prank. And I've been sort of like okay with Katie. It's weird. Well, you know, it's war war, you like the people who are fighting the people that you don't

like more than you don't like them. Yeah, I mean we were allies with Stalin at one point in American history. The VP of war. VP of W, or as I like to call it, World War 83. Yeah. So now we go back to Jackson's house and there's like the blow-up slide that's up and Jackson's talking he's just got so much that's going through his head You know, he's like I say things that don't mean and then I have to come back in apologize

So I say instead of saying things that don't mean I go to the gym Yeah Yeah, he's he's really stressing how much he's going to the gym. This guy is totally cheating Like he's totally cheating do they couch him cheating because he's obviously fucking cheating and he also does say things He means by the way and like the things that he doesn't mean or when he apologizes He's means everything he says this fucking guy Which usually you don't use this something to diss somebody like God he always says what he means like usually that's good He's just doesn't mean well, so

Britney's like you're so muscular. He's like cuz I go to the gym. I go to the gym She's like but you apologize you did it and you took responsibility You see what Britney's learned to do. She's learned to take what someone else said in the argument against her and use it against them Because that's just what Tom said about Katie She took responsibility and she owned up to it and now you're bringing an asshole so now she takes the exact same argument Yeah, yeah, no, you know, you did start it and you apologize, but you owned up to your mistake Santa Vosio has an apology Why would Santa Vola apologize to you? What did he do to you, Brittany?

What does he have to apologize for? Yeah, he didn't do shit. Yeah. So Brittany, so she's telling Jack's about what her fight with Katie on the phone. And Jack's does, once again, does his whole sanctimonious victim thing, where he's like, everything I've done, they've all done. But for some reason, the spotlights always on me. Cause you usually do it first

and you usually do it in a very malicious way. Yeah, and you do it with Coke-ray giz. Like you have right now in the scene. His eyes are about to pop out of his head. And he's like, I told you not to trust any of these people. Oh, those people are not to be trusted. This is like a classic abusive, right? This is classic manipulative abusive behavior, right?

Where you isolate the person from a friend group, you make them distrust them, and then you become the center of their world. So they have to depend on you and they can't kind of like leave you. I mean, I get it. According to me, a non-psychologist. No, I think he would actually have to disagree with that.

I think that he's abusive obviously, but I don't think he's trying to separate her acting He's probably like go out get off the couch I think he likes it when she's gone. He's just an abusive monster in general this fun Yeah, but but it's but I'm meeting that he's always had this thing of like circling the wagons around the relationship, right? Like keep it always between us between us. It's always be, like, it's just like a very classic pattern, like I can't believe you would say that to them, this is, like, it's a way to cut her off emotionally from other people and make her emotionally dependent on him.

Listen, I took this psychology class 20 years ago, okay? So then, Jack's is like, listen, we have the people that I want here at our party, okay? These are people that are engaged and mature and have mature conversations. Oh, oh my God, I like the, I can't even describe how angry it makes me when people act like this, like, oh, I'm married now. And therefore, the only people I want to associate

with are people who are engaged because they are inherently more mature because they made some sort of commitment to each other like this That makes literally no sense. Yeah, some of the most immature people that I've ever seen or met are married and engaged So as an immature person Yeah, so Arianna is over her house glating everything and Rekellen James come over and Everybody basically comes to their party starts getting there and then short says telling them about the rage texting fight

and katey's like she said that i've reached acts and i was like yeah you do but yours come at like three in the morning in your drunken they're not like all your manipulative and everyone hates you and short schools uh... actually uh... i'll never mind i'll'll just go over here. Also, I thought it was funny as that Katie is like, yeah, Brittany said that I was one of the came up with the idea and Santa was like, dude, I can't believe that what?

She said that. And I'm just wondering until they realize that Ariana is the one who told Brittany. Yeah. Because they'll get a they'll get mad about that for sure. So let's see. Then over at Jackson's house, um, Brittany, Brittany's rolling meat. And I was like, how's this gonna be a burger? I didn't really understand that because I'm rolling.

So what the fuck kind of burger is that it's a big, it's a bowling ball. You roll it and then you smash it. You sort of, you pass it. But she didn't smash it. Did you see them? They're barely smashed. Oh, they're old. Another thing to make me mad So we see like there's like an empty slide and no one's there basically and so Lala shows up and then Brett and bring you like She calls Brett brat and then she's like I'm so sorry I'm making burgers around one of your face right now

You're making I got like a rasp for you or something. So, um, Sid and Stassian Bo show up and Bo brought some corn hole. Um, and then we go back to the other party, which is like, significantly more fun and all the newbies are coming over. Danica's like, wait, this is adorable. There's like, tense the back, like, what? Like, what? I'm gonna go push someone in there.

Okay, I'm gonna push push someone in there okay I'm gonna push someone and Charlie Tulsa's Tom and Ariana is lit like he wants to be at Jackson's retirement party I mean he's closer to my dad's age than my age have fun old person with your mishie green things to eat probably so yeah so Dana so Dana goes into the yurt and is like talking to Katie and she's like, oh my god, my thought photo is definitely happening in here. And then meanwhile, back at the other party, Lala is talking to Brett and asking about Max and everything.

And Max had texted Brett that morning and was like, hey man, taken some time to think about it and I'm super bummed out at you, dude. I feel a little betrayed, even though you fully, fully kept me on board with every single thing that was happening and I said I was cool with it, but I feel a little betrayed and I don't wanna lie about that feeling. And Lalo, so if you have legit feelings for Dana

and he's like, I'm a bros before host, dude, like, look, when you actually penetrate a penis with a vagina, no way. When you actually penetrate a vagina with a penis, that's when you have feelings, okay? It's like I committed World War 83, dude. Yeah, because he said, when he was interested in her, he didn't associate that with having feelings.

I'm like, I don't understand his logic, but it's clearly a logic he has developed so that way he can be a fuck boy, but then still try to seem like not have to commit anything and still try to be like a good guy. Like cool guy. He's sort of like trying to do the Carl thing a little bit. I don't know.

Jackson's like, he's like, you're actually, like you're a good guy. Like, I mean, I did the same things he did, but like you're really he's like you're actually like you're a good guy like I mean I didn't I did the same things you did but like you're nice about it like I didn't even care with anybody Think that was the old Jackson you know the old Jackson give a fuck with anybody thought when we fucked other people I'm going to the gym. I'll be right back. Yeah I put my dick in anything that move and that does include punching bags so Savannah's talking to Katie, and she's like,

I'm sorry, I'm hot. Someone should be loving me and fucking me and no one's doing any of those things. So, anyway, I'm hot. That's the point here. I'm gonna just remind everyone again. I'm hot. And see, so Ariana and Kristen and Carter are talking

because of course she looks a long Carter, you know? So Ariana's like, so are you guys back together? She's like we're dating No more questions. Yeah, oh this press conference is over. Thank you mirror post out And classic Vanderpump rules the game of telephone She's like seen it told me that Stasi was making fun of your party. Like you don't have any furniture and stuff. Yeah, and I was like, okay Regina George get the fuck over it. You snob ass bitch. I was like, whoa Ariana Not in the mood

Sick of that furniture shaming. Yeah, it's like, yeah, they're making fun of you. She goes, yeah We'll just stay in your one bedroom apartment that you turn into your second bedroom into a shoe closet copy sheet up Just go ahead and do that. It's like, whoa. And then we get like a nice montage of many, many white girls to working. And then Tom and Tom are talking about the offer for the god in the tomb, and dude, a bigger space means there's more potential for failure. But then Schwartz starts crying about pouring in his heart and soul into the barn. And you know, yeah, just his tears smell like Tiki, though, like total of the years. Yeah, and remember. So then Katie comes in, James

and Katie are there and Tom asks James to DJ for him, and James squeeze and jumps up and down a lot. And then he accidentally hits Katie in the boob and Shorts is like, oh, part of me is gonna miss asshole James. Like that was really good. Could you do that again? Just come in and elbow or write the boob. Oh so funny James And Katie is like, you know, you've shown some vulnerability that I haven't seen from you and you know, you've shown growth and you've shown that I haven't seen from you and, you know, you've shown growth. And you've shown growth, oh, girl, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna go for an easy joke.

Not an easy fact-shaming joke. I won't do it. I won't say growth also. All right, all right, be cool, James. Be cool. I love Katie, like the American Idol judge of where everyone else's growth is. She's like, you know what, you've grown enough.

Now I can be nice to you. So they hug. You've really learned how to control your instrument. So, yeah, so it was actually really nice. She was like I wanted to rip your head off But I also feel like you do have a strong resemblance to ranch. So it made sense So then Britney makes her ball burgers and Jackson's inside like chugging gate raid and Stasi comes in to have the little talk with him He's like we got a to talk to Squat.

I'm striving. He, uh, so I was like, um, so I feel like how you've texted people. It looks like you're losing your mind AF. So, and he's like, I am. And then he tells us, my brain is like sprained. Like us, sprained. You've been up in the frame. New, new, new terminology for having a sprained, your, is like sprained. Like us brain. You mean it's a new brain, new terminology for having a sprained.

You're a sprained. You sprained your ankle. Do you walk on it? No. That's just the way your brain works. Don't walk on your brain. Thanks for coming. Anyway, I got to go back to injecting bleach into my

forearm to protect myself against this disease. So he's like, so, uh, you know, you know me, Stasi, it's just like, I'm always about everybody else being happy. I'm just, I'm just always wanting everyone else to be happy and I don't take time to make myself happy. What? She's like, um, you sound a little bit like a victim and I have to say, like, I'm like, I'm not into this whole thing that, like, you're a good guy and then, like, once you're you're an asshole, you're an asshole all the time. Yeah, yeah. So he drops that immediately.

And so he's like, all right, well, but, you know, like, the cheating and stuff, it's like, you know, I cheated and then we got married and I'm like, it's so fast. Like, did I do the wrong thing? Like, it's like, I'm now going to be me and her and then is got married and I'm like, it's so fast. Like, did I do the wrong thing? Like, it's like, I'm now gonna be me into her and then is she gonna start thinking of like, what did she do? And Stas is like, yeah, that is exactly what she's gonna start thinking.

And he admits, and finally he admits that when they were for the year leading up to their marriage, they like, shelved all the issues they had from the cheating. You know, and now there's downtime. It's all coming back, which is what we said would always happen. And now he's like, it's hard. There's just like a lot of pressure. I mean, you know, he's to be able to hurt people.

I used to be able to cheat on them to hurt them. That's how he used to do it. I'm like, you probably can still do that and probably will still do that. Well, he's crying because that's what he's basically either doing or thinking of doing right now. You know, he's like, oh, I just, I just want to cheat so bad somebody stopped me.

And she's like, um, you have control over how you treat people, dude. And he's like, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm gonna cheat on Brittany and take it out on Brittany. I'm like, oh my God, you're already, you've already, you've gotten so good at faking this bullshit crocodile tear when you get caught at something that you're already doing it before you've even been caught.

It's so jacks. Exactly. Exactly. And then we see... Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, just to say, because he's cultivating an image of himself as someone who's like tortured and still plagued by demons. And so if he does cheat, on the off chance, chance he does cheat it's not because he doesn't like Brittany it's because he just hates himself so much.

Yeah man it's a mental issue and he deserves to be forgiven because he's brain is a brain issues. Yeah. Should be forgiven because he learned that from Tom and an argument and then it says next week on Vanderbilt rules and then we see him talking to a sound of all in a fight and he's like dude but I'm like candy cat. It's like, I'm like a handicap person. You can't. It's classic jacks.

Classic jacks. Oh my gosh. Well, I got, I love having my blood boil with this show. I think that's when the show is at its best and I'm sad we had to sit through what like two or three really dull episodes a few weeks ago to get to this good stuff. So, but I'm happy that it's good and hopefully the season's gonna end on like a really good note because I would like that. Yeah, well time will tell, won't it? Well thanks everybody so much for being here. Yeah, thanks for being here. We'll be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Beverly Hills. Can't wait for that.

And until then, have a great evening, everyone. Bye! Bye! and add free with Wondry Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.