Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Save the Fails

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

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I take the fifth with Janus Smith. We love you guys. Well, hello everybody, and welcome to Watch What Crappin and so podcast for all of that crap We just love to watch on Bravo. It's me Ronnie. That's been over there. Hi Ben. Juney noon. Hey, how are you good? What's going on with you? I'm just freshly invigorated from this week's Van Opom Rules episode. So that's what's happening. It was a fun one. I'm glad Everybody welcome to the Van Opom Rules Day. A couple little announcements. Come see us on our other shows or listen to us rather. I do the Rose Prick's Bachelor roast which is covering listen to your heart and too hot to handle and Ben is doing the Game Brain podcast and The Real House Wares of Kitchen Island on YouTube to go check those out and

We are gonna do a crapence live quarantine this Friday night for Real Housewives of New York City. We're gonna do a pre-show on Instagram at six and then we're gonna move over to the watch what crapens on demand over on our Patreon, which is at the $5 level. We're gonna be doing that at 6.30 pm Pacific time. So come join us for those, those are always really fun.

And we've got a couple of small business shout outs to do today. Go support your fellow Geraldine's for struggling right now during this crazy time. You want to start it off then? Sure. This one's from Susanna. She, her friend, Cheris is a dancer and a Pilates teacher and just private and private and do its over zoom and also teaches a great class every Sunday at 10 a.m. 1 p.m. 10 a.m. Pacific 1 p.m. Eastern. It's a pay for what you can get with the suggested fee of five or $10 an all-or welcome. It's called Pilates by Charis. That's P-I-L-A-T-E-S-B-Y-C-H-A-R-I-S,

Charis is Charis, like CH-A-R-S-I-S, dot com. And our Instagram is at Pilates by Charis. And I'll just stick with that one. Actually, Susanna has a bunch. We'll come back to them over the week. But for right now, let's start with Pilates with Cheras. And then you can go over to Aurowok Farm. They are a family-owned brand of pepper sauces. They do spicy fruit, spru- Spicey fruits, spreds as well, and dry rubs. And they're inspired

by family traditions. Their mission is to offer all natural ingredients, while being vegan, gluten-free, low sodium, and low sugar. They use real ingredients for real flavor, and all the ingredients are sourced and manufactured in Northern California. Okay, they can be used on meat, vegetables, even though they're vegan, and even in mixed drinks, AeroWalk Farm is the next generation in spicy condiments. So go visit AeroWalk Farm. That's A-R-A-W-A-K-F-A-R-M-A-P. Oh, great. And since you did mention the farm,

I would be remiss if I did not mention that Susanna also, when she said, okay, I've got a bit, I've got a small business shout out, but she said she also has a recipe, and I was reading it while you were saying that, and I'll just share it real quickly, because it looks really good. She says it's a healthy recipe

that is actually super fucking delicious. You roast or new, a sweet potato, and scoop out the flesh, so you have one cup of mash then melts 10 ounces of dark chocolate and into one can of full-fat coconut milk and then mix it all together into a pudding consistency. You can do this in a blender or by hand

and then you freeze it and it becomes the most magical, no-churn ice cream type thing. I like that. An ice cream type thing. Or you get room temperature, which is how she likes it best, but she says it's great. It's cinnamon and cayenne. So, there's a fun, healthy thing. So get your sweet potatoes from the farm and then make this funny thing that Susanna suggests.

Well, there you go, everybody. All right. So, here we are with some Vanderpromp rules today's episode is called Mercury's and Gayd-Rade. That's for sure. That's for sure. I really like this episode because it got me really angry and I feel like the past two or three episodes of Vanderpromp rules have been a

little dull, classic, you know, mid-season footage cobbled together to fulfill an episode order by Bravo. But this week we had some good stuff going on. Yeah, it was a fun episode. And then we also get an amazing, tricky song. I did what Father Money, I I do a father thrill, yeah. And it's people waiting tables. Like nobody does, nobody waits tables for the thrill, okay?

Okay, Trixie, back it down. Yeah, I mean, the biggest thrill was seeing Brett change things up this week and sort of road test, kind of a French poodle look with his hair. He's decided to not have product in about 85% of his scenes this week. So he just has this big curly mess that just hangs into his eyes, like the worst French poodle you've ever seen. And I don't know. I I product in his hair.

Yeah. Right. He totally he looks like a fantastic Sam's poster. You know, when you're like getting your hair cut at fantastic Sam's, they have like your models. And he's like, yeah, look at my natural curls. Yeah, right. Yeah, it was it was, you know, I, it was just a lot. It was a lot of look. And it didn't really work to it in my opinion. No, it didn't really work. But he's like that sad girl at school, who's not getting attention. So he's like, look, I have curly hair today. You still suck. Okay.

The sad girl in school who shows up in curly hair one day. Yeah. Like, sorry, but you still suck. Okay. Yeah. He's still probably jealous of every girl who got to go to the Bahamas and came back with braids. It's like, I want to be that girl. Yeah. So Dana's like signing in on their computer. New computer systems. Love it. Hope you stayed with squirrel guys. And I just, but he comes in with a new permello. And so Ariana is behind the bar. And Danica goes up to talk to her and she's like, how are you? So we might be sending some tickets over here cause Jack's is gonna be an hour late.

And she's like, why? I don't understand why he's gonna be an hour late. She's like, I don't understand how he gets away with hot the things, he gets away. Like I bet that if he pushed Brett Willas, he probably would not get suspended. So I don't understand that. And then yeah, at which point Brett comes up to them and they're like, wow, your hair is really curly. He's like, yeah, you know what I'm just, when I'm chill with my

hair, this is what it does. And my mom's always like, get that hair out of your face, get that hair, let the world see your beautiful tropical fish face. but sometimes you got to cover it up with the curl. Yeah, there's a fish in your bushes. It's literally like the clownfish hiding in the enemy and the enemy, whatever you call it, I don't know how to say it, enemy enemy enemy enemy enemy, that's what he is. Whatever that sound is, that's what his face is hiding in is. Here is the omnibus and his face is the clownfish. Seena goes to try to be nice to Dana, which by the way, just stop. Dana hates you, okay?

Just stop trying to be nice to her. She's gonna fuck you over every chance she gets. Just stop being nice to Dana, okay? Yeah. So she's like, Harry, um, she's like, uh, she's like, how are you? Um, I think I told you where are the balls, ring. So we got a ma-a-a-a-a.

Yeah. Uh, and Dana's like, oh, was it as good as gold? Uh, no, actually it's a new song called One More Time. Um, it's like an R&B baby making song. It's kind of like a new thing for me. Like, R&B, you know, unless we're talking about, like, um, rob and brat. Uh, R&B. I will say when he agreed to do this, like, I mean, like,

those little smudges, like, oh, I know you guys like, kind of, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and then get mad that the girl who's been here longer than you is trying to do it as well, okay? It's a limited pool here, lady. And don't act like you're the victim here, Dana. These poor guys, the ones who had to sit in a car with Sheena for two and a half hours driving out to Palm Springs and probably a stop at the outlets. Yeah, so you want to call it the Sheena Thirsty? He's the one who drove to Palm Springs just so he could get a little like, just so you can get some extra likes for his YouTube, okay? Yeah, and based on the footage that we saw, this all took place on a inside, maybe on a soundstage, so there wasn't even a need to go to Palm Springs.

Like, I didn't see any windmills, I didn't see any classic Palm Springs geographical landmarks, so he was the idiot who decided to drive two and a half hours away. No, I just, you could have shot on LaBrea. I just assumed they were doing this in her bedroom in Palm Springs. They could have done it in Murry and Del Rey, how about that? Which is actually probably worse. Sorry out there to the person on Twitter who keeps getting mad at me every time I sighed

with saucy on how far away we're in a Del Rey. Actually, we got someone mad because we talked so badly about Culver City a few weeks ago did you see that someone treated us very angry really. She's like Culver City is way cooler Hollywood's only cool to people who are transplants well a I am a transplant transplant and be I live in West Hollywood Ben is a loser who lives in Hollywood okay I live in a Hollywood. Ben is a loser. He lives in Hollywood, okay? I live in West. Ben, I'm a transplant. So it is cool to me.

We always have the controversial hot takes here on Crappens. So anyway, she was like, yeah, so this video was like, oh my god, we were like, you know, like, we just like turn on the bed reminds, because like we're actors, like we're like, we have fun with it, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, you wanna see some footage? It's like raw footage, you can't like hear anything, but it's saying like hey, you're watching some footage. It's like raw footage. You can't like you or anything

But it's like raw footage, you know, it's like real like professional mouth. Oh, so I put before the dink Oh, my baby. I'm like you she must stop acting like you're fucking bro's dream over there The whole episode I'm an actor You shot an all black and white but then I wore red for one scene. I was like a really serious video So she shows her this footage and Tania's like wow while you're full on doing it there. She's yeah Topless I might be I mean like I'll do anything with the graph You know I'm saying like even Holly Hunter had to do it in a piano, which is this is basically a sequel to that

Holly Hunter hard to do in a piano, which is basically a sequel to that. And Dana's like, I don't even know to say like I am so uncomfortable. Okay, lady who invites people to her stand-up shows. Yeah, I'm allowed to say you feel uncomfortable. Stand-up shows in like a bar in No-Ho. Yeah, open mics in No-Ho. Like you're not the one to say you're uncomfortable. The federal or whatever it's called. The federalist, the nationalist, whatever it is.

So anyway, then we see you. Why don't you just change this plot line? You know, to stand up night at like Nazi headquarters. So then Tom's hand of all and Jacks go to a sneaker cleaning place called Hype the hype. No, it's called wipe the hype WIP I Think I've seen some brothers. I think I've driven by Adam Melrose me like what the fuck is that? Oh that totally look like a fair facts place to me

But what what do I know? I could have been it could have been honestly like Melrose and Fairfax. It's there's a fine line Technically, there's an intersection between them, but yeah either way they grow in there and Tom they're gonna They're there to get their sneakers cleaned and They're like I think it was jacks who asked but Kai could wrong, because I didn't write it down about like what their, like proprietary methods are for cleaning. And the guy's like, oh, no, sorry, we don't give that out,

because it's, you know, our business. It's basically, and then Jack's rolls his eyes, like he's so above all this. And then he turns out he has a giant creative sneakers. I'm like, don't act like this is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard, and you are the one toting like a U-Haul of sneakers here. Oh my god, Jack's and I just have to point this out because it's just so fucking Jack's okay.

Santa Claus like yeah, I found this place online and Jack's goes yeah, if my dad was alive he'd say yeah, get some comment. You'll be Jack's we get it. Okay, we fuck get it. It's almost like he's going to go into this just saying my dad and depression, which he's learned from Ariana, to get away with everything that's about to transpire in the show.

Yeah, exactly. And it just occurs to me, I didn't even put the two and two together that in the beginning of the episode, he gets met a Ariana for being able to like blame everything on depression. And at the end of the show, he blames everything on big mental issues.

I didn't even put that together until right now. He hears it from her and he's like, well, Tom says that that's acceptable, so I'm depressed, so everybody has to forgive me. Also, if your dad were alive and he would say, use some comment, then fucking use the comments. Spare us the time. I mean, we don't need to see you here at this sneaker shop.

Yeah, hopefully your dad would say, stop buying so many fucking sneakers. How about that? How about like, save for your future, Simon? Your dad would say stop buying so many fucking sneakers. How about that? How about like save for your future sign? Your dad would probably say so How did your mom enjoy the wedding? Oh He says so do you have that money that you owe me? Okay, so

Jack's like well, I haven't had any said nerds to hang out with Santa Valle because I don't think he's been a very good friend to me. Yeah. And then we see the pastor fights of the past, the past, the pastor fights with Tom sandavol, deigned, deigned to be like, dude, why did you, why do you have this pastor, you know, you got to think about these things. When he, he, deigned to challenge Jack, something, leading up to his wedding. Yeah. So he's like, but you know, I need to get my sneakers cleaned and why not let Tom Sadevah pay the gas? And he just keeps saying Tom Sadevah over and over again.

I think that's his way of like distancing himself. He's like, he's not my real friend, so I'm just gonna say Tom Sadevah over and over again, double name. Yeah, seriously. So then of course, Jack's credit card is declined. He's like, oh man, this always happens and we see

Like an actual montage of his credit card being declined over the years, which is sad if you have a montage It's not sad for like a real life person. It's just sad if you're like on TV and you have if you haven't Enough times that there's a montage And hey, they could have thrown in like the felony Just a shoplifting, right? Along with that. That's just bad. Yeah. He's like, Hey, sneaker guy, I'm a little older now. Mary, my dad would ask me, should I keep the tags on my shoes? Is that cool now? The guys like, I take my tags off personally stupid. So, Jackson immediately is like, all right.

So I went to Christians and help her cut the grass. It's like immediately on the shit talking to everybody. Immediately. Yeah. So I went to Christians to help her cut grass. And she involves everybody in her relationship for a year. But then we all know about the other guys, Christian. All right, we all know about the other guys, Christian. All right. We all know about the other guys

Yeah, and at this point I didn't even realize he was trying he was actually trying to Like jumpstart a conversation about this whole situation we learned about later in the episode Which gets really dropped in the middle of the note in the middle of out of nowhere Which I really appreciate but but then he but then when Tom doesn't bite which I really appreciate. But then when Tom doesn't bite, then Jack then tries to kind of turn it on to Tom. He tries to get a rise out of time and he's kind of like, he's like, yeah, man, I mean, you know how you and Ariana,

what's going on with you guys? Is everything okay with you guys? I kind of noticed, I don't know, everything finds like, dude, we never did better is like but like like I've noticed it like you know She makes a bunch of backhanded comments, you know what I'm saying, you know, you know She's like not a great not a great girlfriend not really supportive everything okay I you seem to guess have a lot of tension you guys are basically falling apart right guys are miserable, right? No, no, that's true. He's like yeah backhand to compliments. He's like

No, bro, you know, we don't really like main call or anything he's oh really so you've never said you're being a bitch right now stupid no no no and he's like really because I think she's been a bitch many times it's like fuck you dude I know I have it's like you don't you don't verbally abuse your girlfriend here. Let me do it for you. You know? Yeah, and if Tom Sandivall ever said something like that about bringing to Jack's, oh, you've never hear the end of it. Like Tom just hasn't been supportive of me.

Tom does, like, it's just, like, Jack's is so overboard this episode, which is what he always is. It's just that the editors finally had time to just like show us, remind us how terrible he is, right? So Santa Claus is like, you know, Jack, I'm gonna give you some really good advice, dude. I know people come after you and question you, but like sometimes it's good to just stand back and not be responsive. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm 100%

out of that. No, no, no, 100% bad at it. Yeah. And sand balls like, well, it's something that would really help you out. And yeah, Jack's like, no, no, I'm bad at it. And so then sand balls like sometimes when Jack gets bored and he finds someone to pick apart, you know, with his anger and focus on just so we can feel better about himself. I'm like, yes, we that is like very, very like like it only took eight seasons for for someone to catch on. Yeah, Jackson's like, well, you know, someone can say, hey, yo, your hair doesn't look good today. And I'd be like, hey, yo, I'm going to cut you like a fucking pig. You know, no,

it's perfect. Fucking jacks. I hate that. And you know, no, it's perfect. Yeah. You know, I'm only horrible assholes say that that and then he does coke face rubber He's like starts pawing get his face like a cat, you know, he's like This episode really reminded me that there's a there is like a very small Spectrum between Jackson and Donald Trump like this, I just was seeing so many similarities, all episode long, and I was really getting triggered. He's like, you're losing. Pretty much.

Like everything Jackson says, I can imagine Donald Trump saying either on Twitter or just at like a coronavirus conference. I can imagine him saying, like someone being like, so what's going on with the testing? Oh, here's a question for you. Your wife. You ever just tell her she's a bitch sometimes? It's like, uh.

It's a president. You have that. You know, the, uh, so yeah, he does cook. Here's my question. This is what this episode got me questioning. Why don't we have better drugs yet? It's 2020. Why are we still people, still watching people suffer

from the effects of obvious co-cadixion? Co-cucks, okay? I've done plenty of coke. You know, I want to stay awake sometimes as well. Okay, I get it. I get that it's everywhere. But we need better drugs. Okay, I'm not saying, I'm not even saying don't do drugs. I'm saying, give me better drugs to do. Please, I'm begging you at this point. This is ridiculous. I think he's just high off of mowing those lawns. It's just it's so fun and there's that valley village air just going right into your nose.

It's a natural high. And when you come off that, you just become a monster. Oh, God. Speaking of too much Coke, Trixie this week. Okay, this is her new song. Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So it sounds like Erica Jane, like trying to get out of bed in the morning. Could we change the song, Trix? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohity. It's this big jeep, a big giant jeep, which is hilarious because later on, Jack's is, you know, bemoaning the fact that they might be guzzling gas to drive to the

beach. And he is the one, he is the one who has the fucking muscle cars and the SUVs and like the worst cars for the planet, right? That's why he's so concerned with gases in entire episode. He talks about gas in every scene. The first one is like, let Tom pay for the gas. You know, but he's like, I don't want to pay for gas to go to the beach. And yeah, you're right. We totally see why. And I go to this dog park and.

Yeah, I used to live across from it. Yeah, this is right behind your house. This is my dog park and it's the worst. I cannot believe she's parking in that tiny little parking lot. It's built for like two cars and a handicap spot. And that car, I can't even believe that car fit up the ramp. Well, first of all, also, since we're gonna get into it, okay, so I used to live on that street along free.

And during the day, there's a lot of parking. So I don't know why she's not parking on the street, like every other normal person. And why she's not parking on the street like every other normal person and why she's like, like, hill. I guess so. Cause like, no one ever parks in that little area. And so she has this big-ass car. And she's going up, by the way, the driveway is like, just a straight driveway. And she's like, I hate this freaking driveway. I'm not a mess in how it feels. Yeah. Seriously.

And also it's like, not the most challenging driveway. So so she finally partially goes, I'm like, I feel bad for Brittany that she has to like really have these moments of victory over like what's going on in the household that like getting up the tiny 10 foot driveway at the dog park is what where she has to find her victories. Well, that is a rough driveway. I used to drive one of those little tiny fiat box with those. I got thumb. I look so crazy in that car. Even I had trouble parking in there. I can't believe her. Okay, so anyway, the point is Brittany stole a dick. So she pulls up and she puts sunglasses on her dog and she's like, Genghisly, you're such a cool guy! It's dog abuse.

And I'm so scared for the babies. I'm so scared for the babies. So Brittany is like, so how are you feeling now that you're in gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! It's so weird. I thought I was going to be like, oh, I'm in gay. It's I'm going to be chill. I'm Brittany's like, oh, come on, you guys thought I was gonna be like oh, I'm okay. It's I'm gonna be chill I'm pretty like oh come on you guys thought I was being annoying. You're gonna be double

Which is four times seeing that I Feel like that was Britney's appeal to the audience of like Hey, you can still lock me because sauce is gonna be even worse But I think that like saucy being a bridezilla will be far more entertaining than Britney being a Oh, it's my fiery tail. Yeah, you know, it was a bright nila Yeah, Brian no So Stasi's

Sustah� that's comparing so they do and she's like oh my god. How annoying are we? Has everybody seen these by the way everybody in your tiny wood ship, Mark? Yeah, exactly. Who cares? I'm happy. It's all the manners. And then Stasi tells a story about how she put up a picture of her and Bo on Instagram.

And someone said, I've never been more excited for two people to get married. And Jack's wrote under it, really, that hurts. Which is so narcissistic. I wonder if the person, if it was someone that, like someone in the Broadway universe. No, like it was a rando. Yeah, it was a rando.

I remember this. I think I remember it. It wasn't like, or something like that. No, I think it was just like some ramp. Wait, was it? Maybe it was. I remember when this happened and cracking up on that. Maybe it was that I think it was just a rando too lazy to look it up either

way no matter who it was jacks is just such a narcissist that he I mean he really thinks that it's the second coming of princess die getting married in in the 80s you know he had a him and a Brittany oh yeah and that was happy it was happy. We're happy. We're down great guys. There's a love story for the ages. Okay, I'll revise it. How about like Mariah Carey and Tommy Matolla? How about that? Oh my god.

Dennis Robbins and himself. Yeah. Jennifer Lopez and anybody. So, yeah, so they talk about that and then Brittany's like, sorry, sometimes he's new tension or, but he's happy for you guys. Now I know you and Chris are on the ass, but you know, her not being there really killed her, not to make you feel bad or anything, but we're gonna have a bull party. Can I invite Chris, Stan, or not gonna come to someone on my freezman party. That'd be terrible has never been terrible This one about Maine even Chris is saying Maine

Hey, Shoshy one wearing some sunglasses You're cool girl You're typical guy typical guy, you're those guys We wearing sunglasses I thought the sausage would whip those sunglasses off that dog and just slapping it across the face Like enough, I'll go to your damn fuel party

I don't care if that Kristen's there. By the way, also, for Brittany having to say, well, Jackson is an attention to her, but he's really happy for you guys. He's like the first of several times this episode where Brittany has to decode what Jackson's really thinking to the group. And I'm like, this is sad that this is your role

for the rest of your life, or at least until he cheats on you, which is a few months from now. But like that's sad that's sad that you have to be that person You shouldn't have to be in that position where he just does anything and then you have to be to clean up crew You know and she even says later on well, that's what I'm married. I knew I was getting into like yeah, but so it was like the best That was the smartest thing she said in years. Yeah Because it is what you married, you fucking moron. So that's fine with it.

And I don't feel bad for you for two seconds. Yeah, exactly. Especially with this show, it's publicly available. At the very least, we've been telling you for years. At the very least, on the answering machine, Rose. And so she's like, well, good, because I'm glad you're coming. Because I love those. I love cooking. I love cooking. I love cleaning.

I love with my stepmother. One of them is going to be going there soon till I take all the rides out of the fire place. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon

music or wonder ya. That crap ends commercial. Okay, so we go over to Sir and Jack shows up for his shift and Ariana is teaching Dana how to make a cocktail which is hilarious because Dana just went to bartending school and still doesn't know how to do her accounts with the liquor. It was hilarious to me at least. I was like, huh, you went to bartending school and there nothing, huh? And Dana just, she just really wants the bartend. She just wants the bartend. I was like, okay, great. That's nothing. Huh. Um, and Dana just, she just really wants the bartend.

She just wants the bartend. I was like, okay, great. That's exciting. She goes, I'm dying to bartend. It's like, wow. Uh, so then, Sina goes over to Jackson's bar and it's like, hi. Wanna see for the show? My music video.

Because not really the Texas shot. Yeah. She goes, rode. What's up? You're ass. You know, I'm just, I'm just really tired of people not being honest like everyone Yosemite for being a liar in this and stuff, but like everyone else is full of bullshit like Kristen and Tom and Ariana I'm like, okay. All right. This is another example another example of well, I won't get into it

But it's also just co-create like don't do you don't do coke right before work do it after what is wrong like to have to teach you Seriously, so she's like um, I think that question is like my transparent Um, man, maybe because she's like very skinny and she like moves around a lot So you can barely even see them because they go so quickly, but she's pretty transparent Yeah, he's like nah, she's a liar. I fell up fell for a big line and pinker Yeah, he's like nah, she's a liar and I fell up, fell for a bait, a lion and pinker, stinker, whatever it is. And Tom and Ariana thought was fucking liars. And then he tells us, you know, they just have a facade. They want to look good. Like, they don't belong together.

They don't belong together. And buying that house together. That was a mistake, yeah, that was a big one. I mean, you want to talk about transparent. What's transparent is, uh, Jack's like very obvious projection. Like he's so unhappy in his situation. He's clearly projecting onto Tom and Ariana. It is hilarious. Yeah, you know what else is transparent?

Your facial skin because you keep pulling it to your tight. Just stop picking it yourself. He's like, at this point, you know, you know, at this point, I've gone through so many changes in my life and I just, like, maybe I could help. Yeah, Jacks. Yeah, like, what changes have you gone through again? Could you do my entailing me?

And he goes, I don't know miserable Ariana that much. I think she's absolutely miserable. I was like, literally talking like Trump now, miserable Ariana. What? What? Like this little nickname he just came up with? And she was like, I'm not sure,

like, that's not measurable. I should just struggles with chronic depression, which is a brain thing. It's like chemicals in your brain. I don't know, they do something, but I tell you that Brett snapped my breath off. It was hot. And he's like,

all right, you know what? That's fine. But every time you're fine, and then if you don't like something, you go, I don't like the way this conversation is going, whoa, so the press,

so where? Yeah, Jack's like, anyway, I don't like the way this conversation is going, whoa, I'm so depressed. Where? Yeah. Jack's like, anyway, I wish I could keep talking longer, but this is really boring. And you know, my dad died. So my dad died. Okay. I don't really want to talk about this. Okay.

And I'm also getting married. I'm getting married and my dad died. Ugh, what a pig. What a sad. I mean, talk about murder somebody one day. Okay, mark my words. That guy is going to murder somebody one day. The king, the king king of pulling cards, like filling the blank cards to get out of conversations or

obligations is Jack's. Yeah, so then Dana, I had to rewind like three times to see what she said because she's like, I got him access because I'm going to lie. What? I got an access and believe in her. I got him out because I was like, I got in Max's base, look at him, I'm gonna laugh. What? Are you going to Max and Bleakton? Are you going to Max would bleed? I was like, stop talking to Sheena.

It's apparently rubbing off on you. It's contagious. Yeah, Max is doing a beach cleanup event, which is thrilling. And but Ariana's not going to go because she's going to be hosting a dinner party. And she's like really excited to host a dinner party and she just wants a chill and cook and do all sorts of stuff.

So she's not going to go. And Jack's is also not going because the beach cleanup is at the beach and he lives in the valley. And you know, I would say actually in this case, it's one of the few times I would say, I understand. I actually get it. I get that and I support if you live in the valley and not wanting to go to the beach. However, all his then subsequent excuses are terrible and I don't support them.

It's like, why would we get all in our car? It's a six-carth going to the beach. Did you notice that this started off with Shina standing there with a cherry harpoon on her fingernail and then she just put it in her mouth. That is so disgusting. No. What I did notice is that. It was the best thing I've ever seen. She knows just, because she has those long ass nails. She harpoons the cherry and then she just like puts it in her mouth.

I didn't notice that. That is hilarious. I also thought what was funny is that Jack's is like, I'm not going to go to the beach clean up, because I live in the valley and she can go, but it's the ocean. Like it's like shocking to her that anyone would maybe spend their time doing something else.

It's the ocean. Yeah, I'm just like, whatever, stupid, do something else. God, get worked up about something else, James. Yeah, like if he said, I don't wanna go because I don't wanna slip all the way over there and I'd rather spend my Saturday doing something else and I'll donate to something or whatever that's fine But then he's like the reason why he's not going is because I mean it's so far away I mean we're driving down there in six cars. It's hard to feed the purpose. I mean like I guess you know like the environment

You know, I'm saying I'm like um You know, it's like two different things. I mean uh first of all you all, you could carpool, which is what it seems like most people did. And, uh, second of all, the fumes from your car are different than the pieces of plastic that are killing all the, you know, the tuna and whatever else. The worst is a yellow red snappers. Shrimp, you know, shrimp. And I'm just going through all my animal crossing fish I'm like the sea bass and the Sea bass oh my god. There's so many sea bass. There's so many sea bass and animal crossing

I never want to win again never never Listen, I don't want to go either just because I don't want to go to a party that has clean up in the title go find yourself I would throw I would throw a rival party called I pay taxes for people to do that for me party Yeah, and clean for streets in a bar in a gay bar. Okay. How about I don't litter in the first place You fucking jackass is party. How about that? Yeah, how about that? How about like donate to bet midler and clean a highway? How about that? For those of you who are wondering why the hell I just link those two things bet midleridler, that's one of her causes is that she dops highways and cleans them up. If you don't go that, you're not welcome here.

If you don't know that you've clearly never read a sign on the side of the highway, that said, this highway was adopted by Bidler. So then we go to Vanderpump Dawgs and Lala is still pretending to work there, which is hilarious. She's putting down grass and pump comes in and she's like, hello! It's like a puff of smoke in there stands Vanderpump. And Cessa, her main henchman, is like, hi Lisa! I hate it seeing his face again. Me too. Lala and John Cessa are having a lip filler off. They're just like, they're trying to,

who's gonna be the supreme of the fillers at Vannapump dogs right now? Yeah, filler wars. A little worse. Oh my god, Lisa, the cacquita in the merges. She's so, you're so cute. Have we gotten the new shipments of puppy Wappies in from Puerto Rico?

That was Lisa Vannapump's attempt to like encroach on Bethany Frankl's territory. You know what, this is a crisis, okay? You know what, I'm Puerto Rico, okay? You say I'm Puerto Rico, you don't get to see a puppy from Puerto Rico, that's my job, okay? Here, I got a puppy, it's called Skinny Girl Puppy and it has me in three weeks intentionally, okay, and look how much better it looks, okay? No, it looks better, huh? All these puppies will be named Kashcard And they're only going to poor people. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah! Not just a magician, I'm a comedian too! Glad to see the Ola-la still in existence. And Lala's like, I don't need a cocktail to be a little vulgar. I'm like, I don't think that she's talking about sobriety.

I think she's talking about personality-wise. Like, Ola-la was feisty and fun, and Nula-la was kind of insufferable. I think that's what it was. Nothing to do with sobriety. Or maybe she just means because your face is so fucking crazy. She can't tell if you're 60 or 20.. Who's that old Lala? Or when Lala pretended to actually be poor. So Lala's like, I don't need a coach. I'll be a little vulgar. And Lisa goes, this is so random. Lisa goes, a true dad. Like what? So she said, can you believe I'm almost 10 months pregnant? She goes, yes, I can. I can't. I can't believe it. Lala.

Because it's like every single episode. Can you believe I'm nine months and a half? It's almost a press a sober. Can you believe it's been nine months? I've been sober. I can leave it's been eight months and a half. It's like, yes, Lala. I'm very proud of you. I think it's great, but you keep announcing it. That's what you do when you quit something. I stopped eating titsy rolls about 36 minutes ago I'm like oh my god. It's 37 minutes now. Yeah, 37 minutes 10 minutes. I Support the titsy roll journey, and I also support the sobriety journey. It's like you know It's like all my friends who do CrossFit, P90X, have babies, go to Coachella, I support you. I think those are all great. Do I need to hear about it every day on Facebook? Probably not.

So, then we go over to James and Rekels and he's set the table on Nice and she's like, babe, where did you get this Q-Solar wear? I guess she hasn't heard about CosPlus World Market yet. So, she's like, oh, I've got flowers and I'll make it flamin' you on tonight. Okay, girl, I'm gonna make a nice, pretty sweet meal for you, girl. Yeah, and he just talks about how he's serious about rebuilding his relationships and so excited because he was invited to Clan up to have to be a truth max and He's so excited. He was invited. He's like, I hope that I can still be enough even though I'm so bought Yeah, I was like well of course you're enough. I think you're the ultimate you and you're sober

He's like, yeah, yeah ultimate you when you're sober. He's like, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm pretty fun to be around when I'm so much because you are so fun to be around. James, you're so fun. He was, I know, I know. Yeah, and I think it's so funny that he's afraid that he won't be himself. No one wants you to be yourself. Okay. Yeah. They're used to you drunk and calling them fat idiots, okay? Exactly. Do you realize how lovable you are in this current situation? Like that's that's okay. That's okay to be lovable. So it's a beautiful day and a la It's a beautiful day and a la I give a little backup

So the beat everybody arrives at the beach. For a clean up day of the beach or max. It's not about the beach or max. It's our first. Guess what? We're going to clean you. Because it's the thing. Clean up day of the beach or max. Mm-hmm.

And Kristen goes up to Stasi who's sitting down. She's like, oh, I want to hug you. She's like, don't please. No, I'm at hug you. Sorry. Oh, sorry. That's one of the reasons. Kristen descends on Stasi like a umbrella. Like imagine, like, she is like an umbrella at a cafe,

like at a cafe table that suddenly closes on the diners. Like, it's like the latch breaks. And I'm just like, like, that is basically what Kristen does. Stop. Stop. Like, why is there a cafe umbrella around my face? Oh, it's Kristen. And Stasi gets that was awkward as it's called grace you, Tweet.

So now max, max makes it's called grace you, Tweet. It's a great line. Someone write that down. That's it's called grace you, Tweet. So, uh, uh, so Max now makes a really impassioned speech to I guess endure himself with Leonardo DiCaprio or whatever. He's like, the ocean has always been a really big part of my life. You know, like I was born in Hawaii and I was raised in San Diego. Those are two big beach towns, you know. I'm like, well Hawaii is more of a state. But he's like, you know, like there's plastic and there's trash in San Diego. Those are two big beach towns, you know? I'm like well, Hawaii's more of a state, but he's like, you know,

Like this plastic and this trash in the ocean and it means a lot to me that the ocean is clean because I myself I'm swimming in that. I'm like you're swimming a lot of things that are not very clean max Let's be honest. He's like save the whales and also make my swimming morning better also make my swimming morning better. Oh, so shorts is like, wow, you're a vegan and a trash picker upper. You're doing so much. And then Katie, they all have like gloves on paper bags. And so Katie, there's like a piece of trash and Katie bends over to each for the trash. And I guess there's like a breeze or something

and she goes, oh man, it blew away. I'm like, it's a, it's sad that even the trash is trying to get away from you. It's also sad that like, this is like the most listless attempt at picking up trash ever. And that like the trash blew, you know, six inches away. And you're like, oh man. She's just already fucking exhausted.

She's so funny. And she's this big dark cloud on the beach. She's wearing like a floor link black dress on the beach to make a dress. And she's like, he brought us to the cleanest beach I've ever been to. This beach is cleaner than my house. I would actually I would I don't know if I'd be happy or upset about that because I'd be happy that I wouldn't have to pick up a lot of trash,

but be upset like I drove all the way out here to not pick up trash. I don't know how I feel. Yeah, I would have been in the car with air conditioner. I'm like, hope you're doing great out there. So Dana and Brett talk and she's like so went to Palm Springs this week and Ha and he's like oh yeah yeah went to Palm Springs. We're shooting a music video. I think it's called one more time And it's about like you know having sex a couple of times I guess she is one more time apparently Gotcha, and he's like I you know, hold on one second.

Let me put on my soulful face. Oh, I felt a little violated at some point. Like when she was licking the u-walk, we axed out of my ear. Little did she know it was just a big piece of pome that got stuck in there one day, jokes on her. I had to say no to her a couple of times. If I wanted to have sex with her on camera, I usually could have for that video. And Mama was there now. And she's like,, ah! And he's like, yeah, easily. And she's like, hey, you want a blowjob? And I was like, no. And that's hard because they're really like blowjobs,

guys. This guy's so gross. Leave Shina alone. My God. He's so full of it. He's trying to be all demure when he's the one. I mean, this is kind of funny, right? This is like a me too role reversal here because he's trying to be all demure when he's the one who is actively like selling his body on his YouTube channel, you know? And that's like his whole like reason for being. And now his office and he's like, no, no, it was too much. Although, technically, from the me too movement, what we've learned is that like just because you are varied, like this is my body, my body whatever doesn't mean that therefore you are like allowed to be taken advantage of by in a situation but in but you know I'm saying just academically but at the same time I would not say this is a very academic scenario. So it's not an academic scenario, okay? This is not me, too. This is Shishu, too.

You got Shishu, too. Okay. Yeah, Shishu, too. And also, she's not as employer. Yeah, she's not in a position of power above him. She has never been in a position of power. Like literally, she can't even reach her light switch. She truly has no position of power.

Yeah, she offered me a blowjob. Yeah, right. Maybe she was like, oh, a castle blow, you know. Like this guy's such a little tattletail. And he's such a jacks in the way that he tries to just go talk shit about everybody else to get attention from whoever he wants attention from, you know, it's not going to go to a big victim to Dana.

So she feels sorry for me instead of getting mad at me that I totally went and fucking shot sex scenes with Sina all weekend, you know. Yeah, he has a little gossip ass with, you know, you leave Sina alone. He's like, yeah, well, you know, I guess she offered me a blowjob because I was doing her a favor. So she was gonna do me a favor and then it goes, um um do you think she can see the difference between you doing her a favor and her giving you a blow job or so then then we get so then we get into the real fun part of the episode uh so jacks texted max about this beach thing and he texted max to say that it was uh the whole beach thing was a dumb idea and that everyone's pissing him for planning this.

Where'd you pull that out of thin air? So again, like the comparisons just never really end for me. So, so Jack's texted and said, I don't think you understand. We'll be driving for four hours. You have to counsel this dumb idea. It's dumb to point this. Nobody cares. It's frustrating.

It's frustrating. It's frustrating. These are frustrating. It's frustrating. These are all separate texts, by the way. So these are all continually rolling in to Max's phone. And Max is like, yeah, you have, like, he's trying to like, one up me because like, oh, yeah, he's so busy. Tom's like, uh, wow, he's trying to win up you. I never heard of that one.

Major one up or over there. When I have a jump rope contest. Mark, you know what? Like, why don't you read some of those text a lot? Text all out loud to us, Max, you can use your apple watch. Then I jammed you. And Tom's like, yeah, I think he's jealous because the wedding's over and he's not getting attention. Ding, ding, ding, ding, call it. Yeah. Yeah. He's a monster.

So then we see like other like shots of people doing things Charlie's doing like a photo shoot on the beach Which is very Charlie and Tom Schwartz is like oh man, you know, I was quarterback Sixth and seventh grade Like yeah, that sounds on brand for Tom Schwartz like reliving you know the peak of his life You know, I've never sprained down because I'm a true ball at me life. You know, you know, never break down because I'm not sure about that me. So Kristen comes over and she's like,

Oh my god, you come in my vent and then she tells us my job as an entrepreneur is never done. Like, yeah, you're really on the front lines of this war with your fucking T shirt. It's Chris. Yeah, seriously, wow. We've reserved a seat for you on Shark Tank. You and Mark, you've been discussed. scus. Maybe you and Laurie Griner can talk about.

I know what a winner is when I see a winner and that's a winner. So she tells us that she's having an event for James May and she's asking the guys if they're going and she's like, well, she knows that I saw she knows I was like, wow She knows how she is she was coming and she said no, so and Tom does yeah, I saw Shina. I was like, wow. Shina Ashtaz, she was coming and she said no, so and Tom goes, yeah, I don't think Adi's coming either. Mm. Not because she's mad at you,

but I think she's just really determined to get that piece of trash that blew a foot away from her. Might take her all day, maybe all week. So then Max is reading more texts from Jacks and he's reading them to Brett. And Jacks is like, after you're done showing everyone my text like a little girl, maybe you can answer my question.

It's like, hey, like you are the biggest gossip and that's what you actually do all episode long. Second of all, what does this mean? After you're done showing everyone my text like a little girl, so you're gonna just go to some some very like outdated Play around taunt about this like what does that even mean like a little girl is such an oaf?

And He said I don't I don't like this one. You just skip my party on Friday cuz I don't like Tattletails I don't like Tattletail. Yeah. I don't tell. It says the number one toddler. And literally. And he's trying to you, he's trying to do the wedding thing where it's like, oh yeah, you can't come to my wedding then. But it's just pool party.

Like everybody is dry, dying to drive to the valley for your city pool party. Yeah. By the way, because it goes both ways. All right. So like I get it. No one wants to go to the beach, but also no one wants to go to the valley, all right? Yeah. So there, take that, all right?

And there you go, Culver City, you're not alone in this. No one wants to go to the valley either. There's actually a lot of places in L.A. that no one ever wants to go to. I think you pretty much have like a 50 foot radius. And after that, you're like, fuck everything outside of that. I'm not going there. Yeah, one thing I think everybody who lives in L.A.

has in common is the only neighborhood you like is your own neighborhood. Nobody wants to be driving anywhere else. You want to stay within two miles of your own house. That's just life, okay? Yeah. They have a neighborhood. I'll tell you everything that's wrong with it.

I'll do it. I'll do it. So Brett's like, just chill, bro. You don't have to get out worried about it. I've got curly hair. And he's like, you were great, dude, man. The other day, she never told me just, you know, Dan, it told me that she still has feelings for Matt, like, what the fuck, Brad? Speaking of

tattletails, he just read you a tattletail text and you're like immediately going to tattletail. Yeah, exactly. He's like, how do you really feel, though, on Max's like, I think we cut really quickly to Stasi going up to Dana and say, um, so everyone's telling me you're in a weird love triangle. Also, who are you? Can I have another soda please? Thank you. I'm back to Brad Quinn, but how do you feel like,

okay, okay, look, what if I fucked her? How would you feel? He's like, uh, go ahead, bro. Okay, what if I fucked her on a train going 10 miles to the west But then that factor on a train going 18 miles to the east how much miles an hour would I be fucking it and would you be mad? Don't care, okay Max is just like listen I just want to have this moment with the ocean that I can swim in now because we cleaned it up a little bit just want to have this moment with the ocean that I can swim in now because we cleaned it up a little bit.

Yeah. And so Dan is telling the girls, well, there are friends. So it's unfortunate situation for me to be in, but like I told him, I wish I might even before max. There I said it. There I said it. I just said it. Oh, yeah. I just said the unfortunate situation is that your standards are so low that you're choosing between Brent Max. That's the situation. That's in great twist. Oh my god. So it's in grace, so. Yeah, so she's like, you know, it's all fun and games to be with the emotionally unavailable hot guy. I'm like, and which one is that the hot guy?

And she goes, until it becomes time to actually have a real conversation about your feelings. I'm like, and who gives the real conversation about the feelings. I'm not seeing anyone eligible for these qualifications. Yeah. So then Tom, to the group, everybody's like, big thinking now. I'm probably littering because this is Vander Pumper rules. So you know they got up and it looked like they're probably creating more of a mess than they started. You know they got up to leave and it looked like that madman seen with the family at the park And they just get up and leave all of their picnic there all of the trash So he's like Well, I was jacks here and Britney's like wow

Chris and I guess he just didn't want to drive that far and Max like well Everyone said that he was like really mad about it and like it's it's a dumb idea. And like, he's really mad. So yeah, it's really mad at me guys. Yeah. And yeah. So I'm just like, no, you're doing great. Don't listen. Don't listen to that.

Don't listen. Don't mind what Jack said. I'm like, enjoy having to say that every single, every single day of the rest of your life. Yeah. Projects towards like, he's on his man period, Baba. Oh God. You shut up over there Swartz Stasi can stasi go shut up shut up six great Tom Brady Like you can still manage to be offensive to women even

Trying to stand up for just shut up. So it's just an asshole. So short, he's like, you know, being in front of Jacks, the race checks are just part of the deal. However, I've come up with this technique to deal with them. You just delete them as they come in. And then you can sleep peacefully, and then you can wake up peacefully and live happily ever after.

Yeah, it's actually what I do with Katie too, to be honest. And life in general, God, I love an ostrich. So Brittany is like, well, you know what? Here's the thing, um, um, um, Jackson, me as soon as I got here and he said, I'm sorry, I should have came. It's Mark, it's Mercury's Peter a. Yeah, Mercury's in K to read. I've, I thought that, uh, I thought that she was lying at first, but when she said Mercury's in Gatorade, I was like, okay, all right, no, she's talking to Jacks to definitely said that.

Yeah, and Stas is like, Jacks is such an idiot. He would literally do anything or blame anyone to have solved himself or wrong to, including Mercury's Gatorade. So Brittany's like, well, he'll blur down anything and say things, you know, me and then he'll feel bad about it lighter. Cause he's wacky like man. Yeah, it'll be hardcore.

Sorry, afterwards. Wow. So it's sort of like an abusive cycle. Got it. Got it. Yeah. And she immediately starts texting like the tattletail on Max for just telling everybody what just happened.

Yeah. You know, that's what she's doing. And Max, well, he just sent me like five paragraphs of stuff yelling at me and she was like, you shouldn't have done that. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick're there to do and so it's fine. So then, uh, Raquel, this is big, this is big for Raquel because we go over to Sir and she gets to do a fridge scene with Lisa Vanderpump herself. I mean, that's a huge, it's a huge honor. And Raquel almost misses it because she's so busy counting sparklers in her hand. She's like one, two, three. Oh, you have a lot of sparklers there. Oh, look, I started over. I'm gonna get that ice from social. So hello, I just texted you all other half. Oh my god, what part of me is missing?

She's like, brandically looking at her circles. She's like touching her legs. Like, they're still there. I know, you're significant to other. Other what? Hmm. Well, I don't know any other metaphors. I've got my means, please. Alright, listen here, stupid. Listen, what I'm saying is I was texting your boyfriend, which, you know, I'm texting your boyfriend more than my own children these days. I know where is Max anyway.

Someone was asking on Facebook this week, where is Max? Is anybody seen back? He's worried about Max. He literally, she's like, I text your boyfriend more than my own children. It's not hilarious. And it's like, max is behind me. So with like 10 plates in his hands,

like, mother, cut your piece, move out of the way. Mother. Okay, I'll just stand here. Mother, mother. Where is that? Where is, where is my favorite child Pandora anyway? My favorite and only child Pandora.

So they talk about James getting sober. And Rick has like, yeah, we went to the club last night, and I got a cover. So I could go with him. And he didn't even have a set. So, well, you know me, I'm a fixer and a mother. And they want to make it right. Our link is not just being about sober. It's about being honest with me, about being Suba.

I'm a fixer, I'm a mother, I'm a child, I'm a lover. I'm a restaurant tour and a glamoletie, save dogs just for fun. Oh that song is so fan to pump you. Haha, pump it. Get it. So then we go over to dinner party prep at Ariana and Tom's house and Tom's like, Ariana, this looks beautiful, dude. And she tells us she's managing her depression better by focusing on things she really likes and one of the things she really likes is having dinner parties.

So cook away. Cook. And I see potatoes in there. So, yeah, it's always strange to me when people channel their emotions into cooking food. By the way, last night, I made a chicken blinces for three hours and thought up with chocolate chip cookies and oh, me all raising cookies. Oh my god. I have no idea what that's like to channel. She loves it. No idea. Well wait until she learned how to channel her emotions into eating. That's really gonna be fucking thrilled then. Yeah, by the way, chicken

blinces. I'm not sure about that. That honestly confuses me. I like blinces. I love blinces. Um, you know, they were good. You know, I don't know if it's worth the effort because uh, blince, I was my first time ever making crepes. It know, I don't know if it's worth the effort because, uh, once I was my first time ever making crepes, it was a, it was a big night for me. Last night, you know, quarantine, it was a time for experimentation. And so, uh, uh, that was hard, but, uh, delicious, delicious. Yeah.

I like the planets. Yeah. I'll send you a recipe. Oh, it's chicken, but you can make a, I'll put something else there. Listen, you could probably do a mushroom. You could probably substitute the chicken for the mushrooms. That's what I'm making today. Yeah, because the filling had very much like a mushroom flavor.

Believe it or not, I'm going to try and make dumpling mushroom dumplings today. I tried to order wonton wrappers and target it without. I don't know. I want to make fresh. I want to make fresh. I saw we know those Facebook cooking videos that are like really fast. Yeah, they make everything. And it's so easy. Yeah, they're gifts basically. fresh. I saw we know those Facebook cooking videos that are like really fast. Yeah, they make everything so easy. Like, yeah, their gifts basically and they go by in five seconds, and you're like, oh my God, I can make homemade dumpling wrappers in five seconds.

And I'm sure it's not going to join into that. That I'm going to have fun trying. So anyway, it's like that grilled you sandwich made in an egg made in an omelette. You know, he saw that one. No, I haven't seen that one. Okay, I'll tell you this really quickly. It's out there, it's basically like you crack a bunch of eggs into a pan and then you put like a, you basically make a grilled cheese sandwich, like you make the fixings for it and you put the sandwich in the egg and then it's like a grilled

cheese or a french toast, maybe it's a french toast, but you put it in there and then you cook the whole thing and then you flip and you flip the bread over and then you cook the whole thing and then you flip and you flip the bread over and then like fold the eggs over it and you just wind up making this omelette that has like a piece of French toast in the center of it. It's amazing. You'll see it and you will be, I know you'll make it. Yeah, that sounds really good. That sounds right up my alley. So people start coming in and Arianna's just said, yeah, I'm like, I'm karate chopping the negativity

out of my life. And so Katie comes in and she's like, love what you haven't done with the place. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha there and the jacks saga has continued so he's sending more texts and he's like, I guess he sent him to to max and he goes, if you're talking shit, don't bother coming to my house on Friday. Tom, he's like, yeah, talking shit, don't come to my pool party. If you didn't talk shit and you can disregard this, I like it to be continued to zero in adventure. Yeah. Bloop. So you did talk shit about me, bro. I'm not coming to my pool party for the official.

Wow. How devastating that Tom can't go to an identical pool in an identical house on an identical block. That's too bad. Tom said it just been like, I don't want to go there anyway. There's toilet paper on the trees. Gross. So then Max is getting a text and it says, wow, you're really crying to my wife because you I don't want to go there anyway, there's toilet paper on the trees. Girls. So then Max is getting a text and it says, wow, you're really crying to my wife because you can't come to my house.

Really? Wow, dude, you aren't coming. Cry all you want. I don't think Max is crying. He's crying about the squid he found on the beach that had died because it ate a, you know, soda can. And then Max sex back. Dude, I don't understand where this is coming from. And he just wrote back, stop texting me.

That's how I love that, stop texting me. So Tom's like, guys, do you dare me to throw a rager the same day as Jackson's party? Everyone's like, yes, yes, yes, yes. I think like all of America was like, yes, please do this, do this, do this, do this. Yeah. And so she is like, um, let's be real. Today it's not about Jack's and that's his problem. Okay.

The weddings over. I'm not about you. Sorry. Yeah. Here's the Harris-Jack's problem. He's don't want to send over tension. His 40th is passed. His wedding is over.

He's not in my music video. And he's not my music video And he's not my bra off. Sorry. That was bruh and it was really hot. I'm a penguin. I didn't get him an apple watch Classic jacks So terms like yeah, let's teach you a lesson Katie cuz my panties just got a little wet thinking about it And they all stare at her like what the fuck Katie she's like what sometimes I like to go low. Okay Florida. So uh so then they all sit down and Ariana makes a toast like I love cooking here some potatoes enjoy. So who ever picks up their phone first has to buy Tom and Ariana a table.

All right. I don't know what's happening, but I'm enjoying Katie today and it's making it. She was being funny all episode. It was really weird. And then and then on top of that, they're all eating again. Katie goes, there better be a sheet cake for dessert. Like wow, wow. She's so this is a turning point for Katie.

It might be. I don't know. So Max is like Dana, could you come outside? Because like I need to talk. Oh, God. Here we go. Like okay. You know what? I'm like really bad about expressing how I feel, but I feel weird about seeing you in Pratt and like I didn't feel worried about it, but then he said I should feel worried about it, and then I didn't feel worried about it, and he was like, dude, you should totally feel worried about it, and then I didn't feel bad about it, and he was like, dude, you're not going to get any scenes unless you feel weird about it. So now didn't feel worried about it. And he was like, dude, you should totally feel worried about it. And then I didn't feel bad about it.

And he was like, dude, you're not going to get any scenes unless you feel weird about it. So I feel really weird about it. So yeah. Also, I saw Dad Crab today and it kind of fucked me up. So I'm just in emotional space. And she's like, yeah, that's cool. And I know you're trying to have this moment between us

where I'm LC and you're Steven. But the truth is that the new flashy things can come around and I'm gonna be in your rearview mirror soon, you know? And he goes, yeah, no, no, I mean, yes, I've hooked up with this person and that person and this person and that person and that person and those two people together and that person and this person this morning and that person this afternoon and this person and that person and several people and him and her and it but I have my past but I've never moved forward like I did with you and by moving forward I mean almost

took you out to one of the Jones's restaurants. Yeah, what is he talking about moving forward with her? You went online, you went and like had sex two times at her house and then got caught with some you know like crazy lady from San Diego. He's committing a Jones. He loves the ocean. So anyone who brings him back to that place, it's got to take him to take her to Jones. And she's like, but you just kept moving forward.

And so why would you do that unless you just don't care about me? And he's like, no, I was scared. I was like, I don't like like like her to like, cause like, you know, like if you fall in love and like like somebody and not just like like him, then like you can fall in love with them. And then sometimes that can hurt. And like, it's hit me before.

Oh my God, how many people have you heard? I'm so sick of fucking douchebags. Every time they get, you know, caught being a douchebag, they, but I've been hit. Yeah, welcome to humanity. Yeah, because look at the humanity. Yeah, because how many people have you fucked over? Because fuck boys, they like, you know, they always, they, they,

what they just walk all over these women, right? Because to them, it's like, oh, she's an option, she's an option, she's an option. I want this one tonight and oh, here's a new one, but then as soon as someone is no longer an option, then they realize like, wait a second, I'd like to have that as an option. I want this one tonight and oh here's a new one. But then as soon as someone is no longer an option, then they realize like, wait a second. I like having that as an option. And so he just likes her because he likes having her as an option. He doesn't like her for her, you know? Because if you liked her for her, then he would have taken her back after she apologized for dumping him. And by the way, Dana, don't forget the reason why you guys stop moving forward is because you dumped him.

Because you got your Jones's confused. Although I still think it was a totally fair dump. Because either Jones doesn't matter. You know. So they're putting on this cutesy face. And he's like, I'm like making like big little boy eyes, like big eyes. And he's like, but you know, I mean, I want you to like be with him if you want to. Even though I'm not okay

Oh my god, dude, what are you even saying? Yeah, she's like me or not. He's like yeah, but you know, I've been hurt before whenever a guy says I like you But I've been hurt before they're already setting you up for them to cheat on you and that's it That's all it is. It's like when someone for them to cheat on you. And that's it. That's all it is. It's like when someone, when you're having a party and someone's like, oh my god, I can't wait to go there and then you circle back like, you know, two days before, and just a reminder, the party on Sunday, I was like, oh my god, I'm, I'm going to totally try to be there. That's like, okay, you're not coming. Yeah, that means they're not coming. Exactly. Learn to read the signs. Yeah, read the signs.

And then when she says, you know, I never stopped caring for Max. Like, what is there to care for? What is, what is, what do you see here that's like worth caring for? Okay. Dana, Dana's ridiculous and thirsty too, and just want scenes. Like, I actually like her better than I like the guys,

but she's, she's making me crazy too. Like, she doesn't care for Max. She's so dead inside. I don't believe one thing from her either. Like, oh, you really care for Brett really? No person without amount of intelligence. And she does him to be intelligent. I'll give her that. No person with any kind of intelligence would be like, oh, yeah, Brett's a viable option. Nobody. Nobody. Literally. So I'm not believing her either. You know, and I get the struggle like

it's real. It's her first year. You got to stay on a show and do whatever either, you know, and I get the struggle like it's real. It's our first year You got to stay on a show and do whatever you I mean look your gateway was Peter So you've on you're obviously damaged in some way, but yeah, I don't feel bad for her either Just fast forward pick one and move on so we can just start cheating on each other again. Okay. Yeah So now we go over to Kristen's pop-up event and Brett is back to full perm. It's like even more in his eyes than ever before, like a full on poof. And Jackson's like, did you get a perm? Well, because I'm going to title title to someone.

So stop texting me. So, uh, so then, uh, uh, jean, I don't know why this, I thought this was so funny, but there's like the shot of Dana just standing there and she No walks by and she no walks by she goes She was like announcing herself with like a yeah, she kind of bumps into her doesn't she she's like She's like hi. Hi. Hi. Um, can I get some more stuff on this? Thanks, let's have K if you guys didn't understand that because I didn't she said can I get some more soap on the soap arm? Thanks. Let's if, if you guys didn't understand that, because I didn't, she said, can I get more syrup

on my soap arm? Yeah, there was a soap arm. I get more gawd on the gawd on the gawd. I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, but I need more syrup on my soap arm. Thank you. So Dean and Brett and Sina were all talking. And Sina's like, OK, we have like a one more little thing

to do. So Tina Turner has called, who did she say? She's like, she, Tom is gonna call you. Just, she's gonna have a Friday. Okay. Yeah, I don't know who she's, yeah, Tina Turner is calling in, she's coming in from Switzerland and she's gonna like do like a guest spot on my track.

So, he's like, well, will you be batting my ear or licking it? Cause when we shot that that like it literally simulated sex Just um yeah, it's called acting bruh. Don't take us a cereal By the way, Brad was only saying this because he was in front of Dana and wanted to show that he was serious about Dana, right? Yeah, so she's like arm. It's called acting. Hello And spread's like yeah, you know, I came there in jeans and you were like, take them off. I mean, who wears clothes to bed?

I mean, like, I wasn't saying good, man. I just got close to naked and we can be boyfriend and girlfriend at last. He's like, yeah, you know, I think Shina and my idea of sex is different, you know, like a sex scene. Because when I think of sex scene, I'm like, leave more to the imagination. What is this 1940?

Like, what are you talking about? Says the guy who's short-listened all his videos. And on all of his Instagram, now he's like, less is more. Less is more. You literally have a bush on your eyes right now. Don't talk about less is more. And she just wants to show everything. And then while he says that they show a scene of her like twerking in the bed and shaking her ass up and down haha haha haha you're trying to make it look like you were victimized at such bullshit.

Yeah exactly. He's like, I just was on Conebush because, oh, well, sorry. Because no, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about it because, you know, I don't want you to, he basically is saying like, I don't want you to feel let on. Don't be so cocky. It was like a music video. It was just like a very excellent music video. My Tino Turner is going to have a guest spot in.

Don't be so cocky. Don't be so cocky. And she goes, it's called one more time. Like it's a music video about banging one more time. So for them to come back, like, oh, I didn't know it was gonna be half naked. Like, that's the concept. That is a very concept on the video.

Yeah, I mean, I felt uncomfortable too. I mean, I'm like, well, I'm like, well, I'm going to make sure I'm as an actress. And I have to look at, I have to look or act sexy. Like, I can do that on like that. And you know, it's like, it's not just like really hard to act really sexy around someone who clearly wants to be my boyfriend. So like, I was really hard for me to like, try to find that middle place between, between like, I don't want to make them think like, yes, I will be your girlfriend. But to like trying to find that middle place between like I don't want to make him think like yes I will be your girlfriend But I do want to show that there we do happen to see in chemistry So it was like really hard for me. I felt really uncomfortable. Yeah, he's like you did not but you did not feel awkward

I don't believe you and say um yeah cuz I'm gonna my job I'm literally an actress and if I need to like look and act sexy believe me I can turn it off like an act sexy believe me I can turn it all my ah. I'm going to be co-starring in a movie with Joanna Krupa and the corpse of Sherman Helmsley. Okay, I'm a relaxress. And he goes, come on, I don't believe that you didn't love fighting and licking my ear.

I'm just like, I'm gonna go buy some t-shirts. Good shot, good shot, good shot. Good shot, good shot. So then Jack goes up to Max. He goes, first, I just want to say I'm sorry. That was not my intention. What do you mean it was not your intention? Like, what about that was not your intention?

Like, what were you meaning to say? Like, oh, I do want to come and I do want to invite you to my party, but I'm tired right now. So that wasn't my intention. And you know what, I'm the first one to apologize when I do something wrong. My eyes. It's just, you know, it's just a starting to show, but I've been going through it for a

month. I'm going through some real mental problems right now, some mental issues, and I'm angry all the time. I call it an episode. I'm just, I'm so angry. Some might even call it, I don't know, depression, depression. Oh man, sorry, I act like that way because of depression. And shorts is like, yeah, melling jacks, I'm 90% sure this is bullshit and he's just trying to spin it around a great Bitty for himself, but what do I know? He's like, yeah, you know, I know part of my rage Chexing was inviting you to my party, but come on you guys can come come on come on come on come on Yeah, well, she's obviously heard that they're gonna throw a rival party and is now trying to backtrack

So transparent speaking of transparent So then she knows complaining to Charlie about the whole bread situation and Charlie's like um It's a music video like if you're a model you kind of know what you signed up for It's like going to the Olive Garden and not getting pasta even I had a Strand of pasta to the Olive Garden and not getting pasta. Even I had a strand of pasta at the Olive Garden. It was screen and crunchy and I- Hey, I'm solid. Whatever.

It was delicious. It was delicious and unlimited. So she was like, Bra, we need an Olive Garden. She's like, okay, I guess this conversation's done then. Good talking to you. I'm gonna go find out why people like Avocados because they're disgusting.

It should be banned. I'll. Enjoy getting bored with Brett's stupid conversation. Sheena, I'll be over here. Yeah. So she's like, I don't want you feeling uncomfortable and now I'm feeling comfortable. So you don't have to come on Friday.

He's like, okay. And she's like, I mean, I could say you're fired, but I'm not paying you. Ha! You're saying you're gonna fire me because it felt uncomfortable? To me? And she's like, no, I mean, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because it makes me feel stupid and bad.

Which is true. It's like, dude, you're making her look like a fucking idiot in front of this girl, who she's already looked like an idiot in front of a million times. Yeah, you know, just so you can get some points. Fuck you. I'm glad she said that. But also, even though it is not an academic situation, if it were, it's kind of hilarious

because she does the exact wrong thing in a meeting situation. Like, first of all, she's not enough hiring. I guess maybe she is not hiring in firing position, but like if someone says, you put me in an uncomfortable situation, sexually, you're fired. She did fully did the wrong me to think, but I mean, again, this is not really a work. I don't like not I'm hearing it because then when we talk about it,

it sounds like we're saying something about the me to you thing. And this is not that. You are not being sexually attacked, Brett. It's not using that shit for your own gain with a girl you would. I'm just laughing because you know, even if you were thinking like, oh, I hope I'm not doing a Me Too thing, I just like to think that like,

because in her way, she was like, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, so you're fired. I mean, it's just like the exact wrong thing which is what I think is so funny about it. And she's like guys in a lace sock like if I'm being sexy and flirty I'm coming on too strong if I'm being like shine quiet then I'm not confident like how am I supposed to know what a guy wants if I don't know their algorithms of their Apple watch like how am I supposed to be friends? I mean, he says he just wants to be friends.

Like, how am I supposed to know what he wants? Like, how about he just like speaks, tell me clearly what he, like what he wants. I just want to be friends. Like, again, like so much ambiguity. Yeah. And she's like, how about I make it easy for you? I don't need you.

We're good. Thank you for your time. And he's like, no, we're not good because you just flash your fingers at me like that. That means we're not good. Is that cherry juice that I got on my face? Okay. Where did that come from? So then, uh, Jack's like, hey, Kristen, so why isn't Carter here? Why is he Carter? He's like, uh, he's working, which is shocking. Working means that he's basically at best by looking at TVs.

Because he doesn't, that's his way of watching TV. He's like, yeah, I've been been watching this great show. It's basically just like a slow drone shot over trees and then like a extreme close up of an iguana. Oh, it's so good. Dude, have you seen the five minutes about the tree frog change my life? Well, well, have you seen the one about the bear trying to catch the salmon and the river?

Oh god, it's so good. So like, but he was here this morning and then she tells us, yeah, when Stasi left me out of her engagement party, I felt vulnerable and alone, cycle Carter and we fucked and it was really good. So blooming Stasi now, let me stasi for why she's back with Carter. So she's like, and then Kristen does this random thing while she's talking to Jack She turns like everyone else in the scene who does this she turns and she goes oh Can we get to to kill us no cones. Thank you so much love

So Jack's like yeah, you were telling us that you were flirting with a guy and like you was sending you sex emojis But then I find out you hooked up with this guy and there's a video and Carter saw it. She's like, um, that video is four years ago and Carter knows that already. So I'm like, well, wait, what? Why are we being so cavalier about the fact that there's a Kristen sex video out there? What? What? What? What? And Jack's fucking Jack's of course is going to try and use some of sex video got some because this is jacks You know Yeah, he's like he's like you're gonna look at you're gonna look at me dead in the eyes and tell me it's four years ago And she goes first. It's not your business and also four years ago. Yeah, so why are you getting at my ass for it?

He's like so you never had sex to be so go and then it got the Chris and telling us Oh of course I'm lying to jacks He's like, so you never had sex to be so go. And then it got the Kristen telling us, oh, of course I'm going to jacks. But he has the biggest mouth ever. Yeah, and it's not of any was business, but mine and the guy in the video. Oh, she's like, go ahead, ask her wife. She knows everything, which you're stupid to trust Brittany

and think she's not telling Jacks everything. I mean, that's just idiotic. And Jack says like, yeah, well, she said that I'm not supposed to know about it. And Kristen just like glairs at Brittany Brittany who's standing down these steps and Brittany's been watching this whole time And she goes I didn't say a word Christian Hey, her from other people you're a cool guy Hi, Jack's put these sunglasses. Oh cool guy cool guy. That's Joe cool like snoopy. Yeah, we're seeing when snoopy puts on sunglasses

He becomes so cool. Oh wow. And she's like, then how did he know about the video? Which totally existed four years ago on Badamax. And Jackson's like, yeah, you know what? I'd have more compassion for Christy if she was just honest. I mean, doesn't it get tiring telling these stories? Like, I mean, you were at special ops for four years,

driving super important people around when it turns out You were just like a chef for like three months in the military before getting discharged. I mean what the fuck? Serious like so jacks um Jacks tells the rest he goes up to the group and he's like Christmas denied that you had to sextate from from two weeks ago Whatever and Chris like um, you can do this, but not next to my booth. Coco Maripos out. And he's just tried to yell like sex tape, sex tape, like trying to sex tape shame somebody just so disgusting.

And so he like storms off because Brittany's like, come on, Jax. So he storms off to Brett and the guys. And he's like, yeah, she just wants to deny, deny, deny. And, um, Lot-Los, like, dude, this guy, oh wait, did you already say all this stuff? Well, it's like this guy who's just been talking to you, sent her a video doing mouth-on-dick. So yeah, Jack's screaming and then a fight breaks out and Brittany waves him off so he goes inside to cool off for whatever and he's like She's such a fucking liar. She's last last last Yeah, I'm like mm-hmm. Yep. Also she lies to you because again

She well, she it's kind of funny because they both are liars But like that how they especially love that they lie to each other because they don't trust either with them with the truth So when he's like, come the hailed day, I'm Jax, you're just yelling out to random people. He's like, well good, everyone should know, everyone should know. She lives in her own world. She's like, what is going on with you?

What is going on? God, so then we get to see him with James going to see Vandercump to try and get his job back as usual. And she sips his Coke and is like, ew,, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da again. So Rick Hall comes over and goes, would you like anything to drink of rosé? Perhaps. Oh, just the Pope have a balcony. She's like, what? What? What is that mean does the Pope have a balcony? Um, no, no, no, yes, he does. Rick goes like, I'm so confused. Does everyone know the Pope drinks rosé on the balcony?

Okay, I'll give you another one is a frog's ass water tight Can I go to the bathroom? You're exposed is the sky blue um what's actually overcast today so no it's not so basically James is like I'm so bad he said look at me I bought silverware I'm so much I'm so proud of you you can DJ at pump tonight little man he's like he's like white cool case back baby Back in business and ain't it grand let the good times So then we go back to Jackson Brittany and now they're at home and he's like, what's the difference between two and four weeks You're saying you's not a big deal if it happened to you two weeks ago four years ago four weeks ago What the hell brand name?

And she's like why are you getting mad about things that have nothing to do with you, Jax? Put on these sunglasses, be a cool guy. There you go, cool guy. He's like, what? I'm not allowed to have that day. Oh, yeah. Oh, great to have Jackson.

That's a victim here. Oh. You're pulling out the victim card before you're done being the villain. You're terrible at this. Also, if you're having a bad day, why are you being so mean to other people? Like, it's like, that's nothing to do. You having a bad day has nothing are you being so mean to other people like it? It's like that's nothing to do you having a bad day has nothing to do with you being vicious to all these other people Yeah, so she's like you are a lot of a bang a day

But which is all the exact opposite of her wedding, which was the best I ever But you can't take it out on me. Okay. You can you take it out on me a lot. No, don't just move it Like why didn't thank you just move it. She's like, why didn't it fake you so bad? And then he's like, ah, that's the sound of his look. She just gives her this insane evil look. And by the way, totally, woo, rubbing your face, licking his lips,

like totally jacked out of his mind. And he's like, so what does that change your mind? What does that change your mind about being with me or something, just go then. She's like, God, no. I mind what does that change your mind about being with me or something just go Man, she's like god no. I've stayed with you even after you fuck that 90-year-old lady or fuck Jack fuck faith in front of that 90-year-old lady Yeah, and he's like you know stuff just gets into brains sometimes that you can't help like I have to surprise I have you super low and then my nose hurts. I don't know what it is He's like I get triggered.

Oh my God. Really, Jacks. He's like, yeah, and then like I smoke some weed and I gave 20 pounds, so then I got to lose it by taking Adderall, and then it's all up and down, up and down. And she just looks at him like, mm-hmm. Yeah, I can't win.

I can't win, like the typical thing. Yeah. Meanwhile, by the way, during all this, it seems like he's building a fan on the countertop. Did you notice that there's like a fan and he's got a pole on like, what are you doing in your kitchen island? I don't know. So Brittany's like, well, it's just like, it's like leading up to the wedding.

We didn't fight. And as soon as the wedding's over, I'm just not good enough. And as listen, we're married now. Sometimes we're going to fight, right? We're not the beavers. And if you want that, I can give it to you. But we're going to have right? We're not the beavers and if you want that I can give it to you But we're gonna have to move to Kentucky the other place. Oh super charming

Just like don't forget there were cameras there when you were in Kentucky and you were a fucking monster then too Okay, location does not change your personality. I also like Brittany when she was like well I'll lean you up to the way we didn't fat not once and now we're fine now that the wedding's over It's almost like that wedding was a band-aid for fundamental problems in our relationship So she's crying and just like I just don't want you to go back to your old ways I think it's what's my old ways what's your old ways your whole season has been about how you don't have your old ways anymore Yeah, you never had new ways. Let's be honest, he never had new ways. His old ways are his current ways. Yeah, so she's like, yeah, the old ways are when you're made to me. He's like, I'm

never meeting you. Yeah, and she's, and then he's like, why you crime because I mean to other people, unlike because it reflects on her and it's embarrassing and mortifying and it's also just like mean and sometimes people cry when people are mean. Yeah, and he just gives her like crazy rage coke eyes and we fake black. And she realizes what her future is. That's why she's crying. Yeah, idiot. How fun.

A couple of sticks. Yeah, seriously. Oh my God. Well, that brings us to the end of random pumpkin rules And a pumpkin we will be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Beverly Hills in the meantime Go sign up for crap and it's on demand so you can be there for our live show this Friday night and We're gonna do another recap this week on crap and it's on Video yeah for the summer house finale So we'll be doing that. I don't think we're doing that live, but that'll be Friday.

So go sign up everybody and thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. You're a cool guy. Cool guy. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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