Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Scandoval Is Here.

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

It's finally here: the Vanderpump Rules season finale (S10 E15) we've been waiting for. Scandoval has gone public, and now we're witnessing the aftermath. Gather 'round as Sandoval tries to repair his image and fails epically.Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/83176675/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Brava that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today from the back alley of Sir is the one and only Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Devastated, freed, a new person, a butterfly that just came out of a fucking cocoon because it was the season finale, a scondoval, okay? Wormstash. As I like to refer to it, Wormstash. Okay, it's here we are.

The episode that everyone's been waiting for, wow, we have a lot to dive into. It's a whole bunch, but before we do that, obligatory announcements, of course, we have six more shows left on our Cheetah Brand Tour, more could not be a more appropriate name for our tour, given what's happening on Vendorburg Rules. But the Cheetah Brand Tour has six stops left, starting in June, we will be in San Diego, we're gonna be in St. Paul, Minnesota, Chicago, Columbus,

Boston, and we are going to finish it all up. It's the Foxwoods Casino in a beautiful Connecticut. So those are all going to be great shows. Hopefully they will coincide with a lot of these big, crazy reunions that are happening across Vanderbrol Roles and Real Housewives of New Jersey. Either way, regardless of what it is recovering, it's always great to be in a giant theater packed with your people, our people, Bravo fans. So cannot express how much fun that we've been having and we want you to have fun too.

And we only have six shows left and then we have to wait till next year. So go to watchacrapins.com to get your tickets. And then Ronnie, I know you're chomping at the bit to say something. It's chomping at the bit. All right, I'm chomping at the bits. Not chomping at the bit.

Okay, you can chomping at the bit too. Well, somewhere between chomping and chomping. You're doing something. Chomping or chomping? Now you can't make it with your chomping. I always thought it was chomping at the bit, but I feel like recently I learned it was chomping at the bit.

You know what? You know what? While you are gnawing at the bit, why don't you tell everyone what you've been working on with Patreon and I will get a clarification on this. Oh, this is a wee, this is a wee. Okay, so, we... I know, but it's a thing that you've really spirit.

I'm not trying to make it sound like, this is, I'm just saying that you have been very excited. You've been teeing up this announcement all week so I wanted to give you the floor. Well thank you. I've been chump champion get the bit. So basically we're changing our patreon. We haven't changed it since we started it. My mufusco. So we're finally changing it. One thing we wanted to give you guys because of course we're raising the prices a little. We're not raising it for people who are already signed up, but we are putting all of, we're doing more video, first of all, because we love doing these crap and on demand videos. But we also want to give things to people who don't pay, you know, who don't have the money to pay and stuff.

So we will be starting to make all of our videos for a forri the week after they are released. If you want them fresh, it's on the video level, still at crap and it's on demand, but there's gonna be a lot of them now, almost all probably, not all, we're not gonna say all, we still want them right to be feeling ugly or just not in the mood, or sometimes I just wanna pick my nose, you know what I mean?

Or like with we're doing a live show, something like that. But for the most part, we're going to move to video recaps. We do have a YouTube channel. It's Watchup Crappens. We've had it for a long time. We barely use it. It's been a storage shed. But we are going to start putting videos up there.

So a week after Atlanta, that video recap will be live for free. For everybody who wants to just watch what crap ends all the time, please stay subscribed because that's a help. But on your podcast feed, but those podcasts will all be on Patreon now. So still free, still five, five to eight shows or whatever we're doing right now, a week for free for everybody. And now the videos will be more and free for some of you. So go check out our Patreon, we're super excited. Go check out our YouTube, okay, really excited to be here, okay.

And now I actually get to see my little Benoony every day instead of just a couple of days a week. Yeah, it's like crap, we're just, crap in videos all the time. And we've also recently, because we're really on top of things, we've been playing with virtual backgrounds. We've been doing them unzunately. So for those, if this is going to entice anyone

to watch our videos, Ronny does have an image of the Sur back alley up. And I have an image of Ariana from Watcher Happens Live tonight. I took a picture of it, because Ariana is the best. And she, like this episode, watching Tom Sandevol go from home to home to sofa to bodega, just pleading his sad pathetic case. That was so offensive. His case was so offensive.

It just makes me, my heart goes out to what she's had to endure through this ordeal. So I am celebrating Ariana right now through my virtual background, which is really the best way to celebrate anyone I think. Listen, I like Ariana as much as the next person. I believe the only thing we should be celebrating on Sir is the garbage that comes out of it, which is why I'm in the Sir Alley today. Okay, well not have an angel looking over my fucking shoulder. This also just makes me feel like I'm like part of like a very cool moment in time of pop culture.

I'm like I'm on watch happens live also guys. Yeah, that's that is what Ben has done. He's put himself on one of the highest rated episodes of Watch What Happens Live ever. And I'm just like in the fuck smudging it on. And you know what? It's just how our lives actually work in real life. I actually look like I'm actively sitting on Ariana's lap. Like I look like here, here we go.

You look like a little boy in Ariana is like your big mama and you are sitting on her lap and she's approving. She's doing what she did for Tom said of all all of these years And she encouraged and listen I'm gonna go out and just start pissing people off immediately because I know it's gonna happen. It's bound to You are I you know seeing area on his face. I'm mad like I'm mad singing her face by you She her angelic little face just looking over your shoulder because I feel like she's being so supportive of you right now

She's like, Ben you can do it and you know what? That's what goddess Tom sand of all singing was this fucking woman supporting him and telling him he could do anything That's what rock this man. Ariana's fucking angelic supportive nature. You created Tom sand of all you told Tom go create a band Tom you can sing Tom. I believe in you, Tom. I don't know why I love this dick. I don't know if I love it, but I know what you're saying. There it is. Sometimes you have to look at the garden that the bad weed came out of and Ariana's holding the hoe. I say you supported wrong person, and now you have hurt my head. You have brought your problems and his pitch issues

to harm my ears, okay? So where's my apology? That's my question. We'll have to see, we'll have to see. Well, listen, yeah, Tom Tandeval and that cover band, not great to listen to at all. It has there ever been, I mean, we've seen a lot of midlife crises

on the podcast, oh, I'm not on the podcast, but on Bravo, like a lot of them, but really so few have been as cliche and by the numbers as Tom Sandeval. And he literally says, like, don't, as soon as I turn 40, I was like, I don't wanna be married to her anymore. I'm like, well, could you just have,

you can't even be original in your mid-life crisis, even your mid-life crisis is a cover band. Of other people's mid-life crises. You know, and I think that that's actually hitting it on the head, it's a cover song that he's singing badly. It's something he's heard before, where people have mid-late get old and then they want to change their life

And that's what he's no he's doesn't feel that he doesn't feel that he's too old He's not running around acting like a 20 year old because he believes he's too old He still believes he's like he does it. I don't believe the mid-life crisis thing for a second I believe you heard it from someplace and that's what he's trying to get pity for I don't think he's really having it I think he's trying to get pity for. I don't think he's really having it. I think he's delusional as fucking ever, the sky. I think he's like literally having him in life crisis, but I think he's hoping that that explains everything and it literally does not.

He's just a narcissistic pig who conned a lot of us. Me included, me included. But you're so conned a lot of us me included me included but you're so conned Ben Ben. I wish I was there to hug you. Okay, okay? Well, you're luckily you're not Ben has been calm. Luckily you're not all right. I'm fired up. So let's start You're really you're really well. You're also just fresh off it. You just finished it like I just finished it I've had an hour and a half dream and rage. Yeah Um, yeah, I know it is a late night recap Which is when I tend to get in trouble the most on our own show watch crap ends

So here we go. Let's do it's getting some fucking trouble Okay, so it's New York City March 1st 2023 Welcome to watch what happens live! We're in the Bravo Club House on the first day of Women's History Month with two ladies I'm making history with by asking them about their boobs! Sheenna Rigaal! Sheenna Rigaal! Who's hotter? Which Thomas Hunter? Tom or Tom?

Hmm, I love that they have the serious music playing over one of these stupid games on one now. It's like don't don't don't don't don't Women's history months 2023 Who's boobs are better time are times? Seriously, what a juxtaposition so um he's like okay, I'm the countdown number. I'm gonna count down to three and then you guys answer Three two Okay, she know I'm gonna need down to three and then you guys answer. Three, two, ha ha! Okay, she and I, I'm gonna need to hold on. It's not at one yet.

Three, two, I have a question, I have a question. Do I say on one or do I wait until after one? Ah, hold on, let me consult with producers. They say after one. Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it. Three, two, three, two, wow, wow, wow, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This is a clip that's very famous. They both say sand of all. But what I was gonna say was that Rick Hill also says sand of all. And Andy is like, wow, whoa, whoa, you said it too.

And it's echo, echo, sand of all, sand of all, sand. The correct answer actually was genital warts. You both got that wrong. Okay. So then the producers are like, all right. Are you guys ready to talk about this? And we see a split screen of Tom over here and Arianna over here and their own confessionals.

And they both say at the same time, no. So we start with Tom. Two days ago, Rekel was in New York, with Shana doing watch what happens live. And my band was performing at Tom Tom and LA for the release of my new single. Shut the fuck up. Alrighty, already I'm screaming at the TV.

You're in his single, shut up. Okay, let's look, shower songs by sand of all. Give me a fucking break with that. Yeah, I'm wondering what that, the name of that song was. It's just that his single, I'm like, is it about like LED lights doing mushrooms while waving a LED light in the field of pretending it's Coach Ella. Tom, it's the first single.

Let's see. Drops debut single. Let's see what it is. Well, he wanted to have a single moment and he now he has one. It's called superstars. Oh, that's sad. Is that dedicated to Rekel's galaxy projection? projector? Okay, so he's telling us a story and then we see Ariana going crazy cheering for him at Tom Tom at a phone cam. And then Tom's like, and then my phone fell out of my pocket and somebody handed it to Ariana for safekeeping. And I was like, dude. And then Custody Arianna, she's like, call it women's intuition, call it a light bulb,

whatever, and then we see a closeup on the phone in her lap, and it's open to the camera app. I love that she even picks up his phone and is supportive enough to think, you know what I'm gonna do with his phone? I'm gonna take pictures of him. I know he'll love, I'm gonna do the thing that he loves to see most on his phone.

Pictures of himself. I'm gonna take some of those. Yeah, and she just like had this intuition, which I'm still curious about. And Andy asked her on what happens live. And he asked her, what was this intuition? And she was just like, well, I would always be asking him

like where he was, later than I knew, it would be like shorts, shorts, shorts. And he'd be, and I'd like look at his phone and he'd show me his shorts. So she clearly, this was something that she was suspicious of already, you know? So she looked at it and she said that she found on the camera roll a screen recording of

Raquel and Tom on FaceTime and she goes my stomach dropped into my fucking ass which by the way is a big trending beauty technique in Beverly Hills these days it's just you just go in you see Dr. Naseef and they say put my stomach in my ass and I'm out of my stomach. I'm out of my stomach. I'm out of my stomach in my ass and everyone's feeling it. I know some of us pay a lot of money for that. We're crying about. We're crying about. So Tom's like, and normally I would delete something like that, but it would have been such a busy chaotic day. And you wanted to keep the vid in your spank bank, duh.

And brag about the somewhat aged out of pageants, but still young ass that you're hauling, Tom. Fucking Tom. Yeah, normally I had screen screen record myself jerking off to somebody on FaceTime and then I'd delete it. Now you wouldn't, why are you recording it in the first place? Just like to give yourself notes later

and then you're gonna free up some space on your phone for more notes, shut up, Tom. We're not gonna delete that later. Good luck to anyone who has a relationship with Tom going forward and always be thinking to yourself how many videos has he deleted of himself jerking off to random starlets? Or what's like a not a starlet? What's a tumbleweedlet?

Starlet is a little too, I don't think he's going to be with starlets, but something more down to the ground. Group B, group B lit, group lit. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what you would call it, but yeah, no Starlets, no Starlets in your future, sir. So he's like, and then we were outside so everyone couldn't hear us talk. And Ariana's like, and I called Raquel saying, if you have ever given a shit about me, tell me when this happened.

So then we cut to one of the most important witnesses, really in any case you could ever have she's like, um, wow. So Raquel comes up to me and I'm like, what the fuck has been going on? And she just launched a lot of me like it was no big deal just cause yeah, me inside of all I've been having a fair

for seven months, I remember just find out. And then I was like, ha, face shake, ha, ha, ha ha, face shake, ha ha. Face shake, face shake, eye cross. Waah! Waah! Waah! Waah!

Waah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so it's by the way too. You know, a lot of people have come out of this looking even better. Sina is one of them. Yeah, I think this has been a good moment for Sina this happened. This actually was a really good moment for almost everybody except the Tom's. Literally everyone but the Tom's. But considering, by the way,

poor Christina, she put in all that work this season. They didn't even invite her to even be at one of the, like, pow-wow, they didn't even invite her to, like the JV pow-wow's. They didn't even invite her to the JV pow-wow at James' house. Poor Christina. Worked so hard. Poor Christina. But she knew it was getting it from the fans,

especially to people, all the people who were the big Katie fans. Ooh, she knew it was getting it on Reddit. She was getting it on Twitter about, she's a terrible person. She was a maniacal. She was having a scheme, but I feel like this was a really strong she never redemption episode for her

um considering that this season she was definitely making some enemies online. So then Tom is telling us you know with that sad look where he's like kind of squinting his eyes and trying to look really deeply. Yeah, you know it's just such a bad actor. But anyway, he's doing that and he's doing that. Well, I did. It was really fucked up. And there's no excuse for it.

Victimize after this side. However. Try to foster some tears. Because I love Ariana. I care about her. I just don't think we're happy. I just really don't. It was fucked up and there's no excuse for it, but I will be giving several excuses over the next hour

and 15 minutes of your time. Thank you. Exactly. I really hope Clayaduval gets a facelift so she doesn't have to look like this shit anymore. Like seriously, I'm going to start a go fund we just to save Clayaduval from having to walk around looking like a mustacheless aversion of this person.

She doesn't deserve this. No, she definitely. Clay Addisol, Duval does not deserve so many things in life, but especially not this. Yeah, by the way, I think Clay. In honor of Sheena, I also have now put up my other favorite image of the episode.

Sheena, in that moment. Ha! You're like, it looks like you have a giant hair. It looks like I've got a hair. You know what, this virtual background thing is tricky because I do look like I'm wearing a Sheena wig now. You know, I kind of like it, so I'm gonna keep it. But like the drag version of Sheena

because it's got to be bigger than life, you know what I mean? It's like you're a drag for former doing Xenum now. Yeah. Connor. Connor. Good. Ascona. The drag version is good as gold.

By the way, side comment here. I really would like to talk about the good as gold remix that is now appearing on Uber, Uber Eats commercials. I believe did you see the commercials by any chance during this telecast? I've seen the beginning of it when they're like, hey, Lala's like, hey, here's the goodest gold remix and I was like, I just fast forward it. Sorry, I haven't given it.

I don't know, I feel like I've got enough hurting me right now. I've got enough attacking me. How is it? Tell me, just boy, like, it's a delight. It's a wonderful commercial. A real great showcase for auto tune.

And honestly, it's sort of like a Lala redemption moment for me. I'm like, you know, I see the Lala that I once fell in love with in this ridiculous, stupid commercial. But it's basically Shina and Ariana singing, good as gold, but like with Uber mixed into it, which is kind of a funny thing. And then like Lala comes in and then three of them are singing together and it's a joy. It's a pure joy.

Because you know what, that song is a Bob, and it will always be a Bob, whether it's remix or not. That song is a Bob. We play it in every live show and it is really a good song. Dun dun dun dun dun, because we're good as gold. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Duh, duh, duh, duh, because we're good as gold. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh art. It's good art and you know what it makes me realize that we are approaching enough of a Bravo music catalog that we are close to a Bravo jukebox musical and I'm I'm gonna be excited for it. I hope we can get Josh Groban. He's really big

right now but I hope we can get him. If you're hiring you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty and Here comes one right now. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty, and now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you gotta keep the overall cost down. And thankfully, there's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs, and that is Zip Recruiter. From pricing to technology, everything that Zipercrooter does is for you and what works

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Just go to this exclusive web address to try Zipper Cruder for free, that zippercruder.com slash crappings. Again, that zippercruder.com slash C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S. Zippercrooter, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronnie. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious,

especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff,

and guess what, we can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef,

or patties, and get grilling. Okay, so Ariana learned something on Wednesday night. She learned that there are evil, evil people in this world, and sometimes they're the closest people to you, and you have no idea. Have you seen this, so? Where the fuck have you been? You're on Vanderpump rules. You're just now realizing that you're close to evil,

fucking people. Jesus Christ. You know what? Fuck Logan, I'm gonna come over and watch TV with you. You clearly need somebody to start putting some labels on the shit that's coming across your screen, ma'am. So now it's March 3rd. And we randomly go to like James and Ali's apartment and James is like showing Ali fish that he made or something He's like look at this look at this. I'm like, okay, great. Good to see that their kitchen is doing well

And it's very rainy. It was during a very rainy time in LA. This was literally just after the big quote unquote Blizzard that hit LA and We have we were in that same rain. We're in that same run. So we were in the same ran. Yeah, we were part of that pleasure. Yeah, we're still alive. I have to give shout out to all the non-tricksies that are showing up to work today because Vanderpump rules is like,

you know what, we fucked around enough for 10 years. In our 10th year, we're giving full numbers to people. I don't want just one line anymore. I want a full song that goes over three intro scenes. So we get this one. Yeah, I have to put my back down before cruising around the town. And I was like, okay, they're going to repeat that five times. But no, then I saw a cute couple that won't make it out. My girlfriend has a jacket. So I stopped and turned around. I was like, whoa, this is a whole story. Your girlfriend has a jacket,

so you stopped and turned around. What does that mean? And then he just goes, like, ah! Wow, it's powerful. I mean, like, between this and that wonderful song they played last week, that sort of country, country-jitty, the music is great. And I especially, what I really like though

is the sixth sense of humor that this show has because the main course, the song was something like, but the sun keeps on shining and the cars keep on driving and it's just like raining everywhere but they keep you playing that lyric over again. The sun keeps on shining, the sun keeps on shining. Well, it's literally raining. That is the metaphor for this show.

It's just like the shit coming down on these people while they're just trying to make it's literally raining. That is the metaphor for this show, is just like the shit coming down on these people while they're just trying to make it big in Hollywood. It's true, it's like the LA thing, the only thing you really care about, it's like you may be sure, did you just get used and tossed out trash yesterday? Sure, do you have no friends? Is it the loneliest time in your life?

Sure, but hey, the sun's shining, and your car still works, that's what the sun's shining, and your car still works. That's what the song is about. Your car's still working. That's really all you care about when you live in LA. At least I can fucking drive somewhere. Yeah, that's like that's the thing. That's sort of one of the things that we hold on to.

It's like, yeah, there may be landslides, there may be earthquakes, there may be crime, there may be like, there are accusations often of like the city being just generally vapid, but no matter what anyone says, we're always like, but we got sunshine. And then when it rings, we're like, we don't have it anymore. That's all we have. It's just such a huge driving culture. You don't walk anywhere. It's just about driving. And you know, people say sometimes LA is the loneliest town, but also you hang out with more people in LA

because you're literally sitting in traffic with thousands of people for hours at a time. You're just kind of ice. It's like, it's like, uh, soundless disco. Yes. You're just your with people in the same club, but you're all set off from actually hearing each other. Yeah. There's something comforting in that. I agree. Actually, I met a girl, I met a girl once. This is my last comment about this, but I met a girl once who was gonna write a paper

for her doctorate about how driving an LA is both an extremely social event because it's something everyone has to do together and you'll have to cooperate and follow the rules of the road. And yet it is deeply anti-social because you're just in your car and you hate everyone else around you and you're not interacting with them.

Huh, things to think about, you know, when you listen to a song on Vendor Pump Rules, huh? Yeah, and the lyrics just keep going because the car keeps on driving. And when I get back to my car to blow off all the steam, I was checking in my pockets, but they couldn't find my keys. And I saw a parking ticket. It was staring back at me like, wow. Oh my goodness, this is a regular American pie at this point. What a story song this is. I hope this was Thomas first single Superstar. So then we go to Schwartz's house and his dog is humping an animal that I can only assume was in a serious relationship with the other stuff animal on the bed because that's how this fucking show rolls. So it's just even the stuffed animal sheet.

So we see Katie pouring tea and then just like more rain and then we see just like crows in the rain. They're really just like driving home how rainy and depressing that week was because I remember that week it was just a was just a sad week in LA before even I did this gossip. All for fuck's sake, you guys are still crying about that week and it's not just you, I know it sounds like I'm yelling at you. I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at my sandsholes.

Someone else I saw on Twitter the other day was like, oh my god, remember when it was raining? Do you remember when we could walk at the end and that being afraid, it was like seriously, it rained. Yeah, that's all, we, that, yeah, it didn't ring. It rang you. Wait, look, by the way, don't let me speak,

let the image of Shino speak. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm so mad that this is centered on my face because people can't see it. I'm gonna go back to the Ariana photo because honestly, these Shina hairs now really distracting me. We're gonna have to find a way to not start playing with their pictures during the show. By the way, I'm just saying that preemptively that I will be hypocritical about this very soon because I'm already thinking of all the different pictures

I'm gonna line up to start fucking with you with. Okay. I'm looking forward to it. I just, okay. I will. We're gonna have a backdrop, but the battle soon. Well, this is probably the most backdrop, backdrop movement I will be doing because I can definitely see myself already getting fatigued at the idea of going to the stupid fucking sub-manu and then

clicking on this. No, I'm watching you do it and I'm also watching you stare at yourself to see my hair. That's the thing. I can't do that anymore. Okay, now I'm more neutral. I'm focused. Okay, Kro's in the rain, guys. The original working title for this show, Kro's in the rain.

So, Arianna's sitting on the... Oh, sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, Arianna's sitting on the... Oh, sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, I was sitting on the... Oh, no, we saw that all these. This is a very long song, Ban, okay? Just fucking... It's a long story.

I can tell you in. You know what I mean? Yeah. So then we got a sort of... We see the dog something. Then we got a Katie's house. She's doing nothing in her grunge hat. And then the song keeps going.

The sun, it keeps on shining and the car keeps on driving. And then it cuts to what Katie is doing and she's making tea. I'm like, you guys, just don't put Katie in the opening scene. Like you don't have to include Kate. This song is too positive for Katie making tea and her grunge outfit, okay?

It's like the most depressing tea scene I've ever seen. And then the song, the sun keeps shining, the car keeps driving. You can sit home or you can take a ride shining, the car keeps driving, you can sit home or you can take a ride, you can get a tan, or you can stay inside, but guess what? The sun keeps on shining. It's very optimistic for one of the most pessimistic shows

in the history of mankind. So, humankind, so Ariana is sitting on the sofa, and this is already, we've seen the trailer a million times of Ariana saying, like, you know, I regret ever loving you. And we see that this is what the scene is. And I'm like, oh, we are starting right in this confrontation.

I cannot even believe this. So we just like launch right into it. So she's sitting on the sofa. Her friend Meredith, I feel like we've never seen Meredith before. This lady is there and she's hugging her. And then, but also more hilariously, they have a dog, I forgot what the dog's name is, but the dog is sitting on the sofa next to Ariana, and the dog is so awkward, the dog is like,

is this okay if I'm sitting here, I feel like shit's about to go down, do you want me to go a different room, I can do that for you. I'm like, is it okay that I'm here? I'll go to the next super. I'm just super cute, aren't they? It's like, I wish I could hug you. You know what I'm talking about? What type of dog was it? It was a cute dog.

I don't know. Is it a Sped's Mackenzie type of dog? It looked like a Sped. I thought it was her dog, but I don't remember what kind of dog it is. I just heard her dog. I loved its awkward energy. Like it definitely looked like someone who was sitting out.

It knows you're sad, but dogs know they know. It's like me. I'm like a dog. When you're sad and you're crying because something's really wrong, I want to help you. And I know that you're really sad, but I'm not really sure. If I hug you, I'm going to probably get mud on you because I was just outside or like, I don't know. There's so many bad things that can happen, so I just kind of sit there next to you and look at you awkwardly

and just, I don't know, just wait for you to tell me to do something. I feel like that's how dogs are with you. I feel like that dog looked like it was sitting on like a public bus next to a couple that was fighting. And I was like, should I change seats? Should I not change? I kind of want to see this, but I kind of hate this also. And my stop is coming up, like, what do I do?

I know, he's like, she's crying, but she also has treats. So what do I do? So I've picked this one up. So Ari on is talking about how she was with Tom forever, but she's like quickly becoming just ect out over him, like in different. Scope yet.

And this Meredith is holding her head, like only a girlfriend can hold your head, like a real girlfriend when you're crying and she just holds your head like this, like real close to your head and then she just looks off in the distance while she holds you and slightly rocks you back and forth. I just like to thank all my girlfriends for doing this to me, even though I don't, even though I'm as awkward as that dog sitting on the couch, just wanting you to give me a treat. So I can go like this.

Just look at gentle. So, Chris. Then she's like, yeah, I mean, he's just giving me the ik. Well, now his ik is on tour and you encourage that. So now you get the chance to experience what the rest of us have been feeling for months now. Ariana, the ik, okay? Ik. That's what it Ick-stress.

The Ick-stress. The Ick-stress. The Ick-stress. Tom Sandivall on the most. Tom Sandivall on the most. The Ick-stress. Yeah. So Ariana is, so meanwhile Tom is like looking

at himself in a mirror, of course, like elsewhere in the house. And Ariana was just like, oh, there he is. So she has a wine bottle in her hand, and it's a wine bottle from their very first trip that they took together and clearly it was something that they were saving, but of course now she's drinking it, which is great.

And so, Santa Vall just walks, this is the famous seed, we're seeing Santa Vall walks through the house and he goes in the kitchen, he's like, do you want anything? And she looks at him and goes, for you to die. It feels so good. He's like, well, that's inevitable.

Okay, so here's where I got super ragy again, because here's this guy, what is he doing in the house? What fucking nerve of this guy to be in the house and just shuffling around like, whatever, just a typical normal fight, didn't just fuck your best friend for seven months. Just, I'm just gonna make some non-dumpling latte over here while you sob, you know.

And you know who, we know what else? Tom doesn't give that dog treats, and that's how else, you know, he's a motherfucker. That dog doesn't even look at Tom. He's just like, that guy's not giving me treats. That guy's not doing shit for me, you know? Tom is clearly in the treat zone. The treats, right, Ron, do you keep your treats

in the kitchen? Where do you keep your treats? Of course. Yeah, there's a human near the treats right right? Do you keep your treats in the kitchen? Where do you keep your treats? Of course. Yeah. Like there's a human near the treats. I feel like all dogs, when that happens, they're like, I gotta stop what I'm doing. I was just about to lick my nuts, but you know what, there's a human near the treats bag.

I have to go there, I've gotta shoot my shots if I can get a treat, you know? And they don't, this dog doesn't even try with Tom. It just knows. He knows, yeah, dogs will tell you everything you need to know about a person and what I need to know is that Tom doesn't give treats. Fuck that guy.

So he starts making an ex-stompling latte and Arianna's like, so how was your night at Rekel's last night? And he's like, I was at Shortses. And she says, yeah, well, you were also at Shortses when you were on FaceTime, so you being at Shortses doesn't really mean anything does it. Gross. He was doing that. He was doing the jerk off video with Raquel in Schwartz's house.

Where it's a cheap bedroom. I was just saying probably on top of the cheating stuff to animals. Probably. Probably. He was probably like jerking off with the stuffed animal. You know, they were probably doing aking off with the stuffed animal. You know, they were probably doing a double facetime. Just gross.

By the way, to your point earlier, why is Tom Tandevol still in that house? He's still in the house. And he's just acting like whatever. It's just an argument. We're both doing things wrong here. I was not expecting this attitude. And I don't know why because I knew that he stayed in the house. We all knew it from following the news or whatever. But pretty gross is attitudes like,

what's up? Good morning. No, we had a fight last night. Oh, it's crazy, right? But we're drunk and all. And so she's trying to have a fight with him, right? She's like, so are you going to say sorry for what you did? And he just sits there and takes a long sip of his soda and like, flicks his hair and gives like one of his acting looks off to the side. And he's like, Pfft, every time I try to apologize to you, it just makes you more angry, Ariana. She's like, okay, you should still apologize, zone.

He's like, okay, sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. He's like, okay, sorry, I didn't want to hurt you. The amount of death that would be visited upon this house, if I were in that position, the death that would fucking rain down on this house. What's that? Are you going to do any of that? No, I thought there was, no, I thought it was a comma. I thought it was a comma, not a math theory.

You said the amount of death. I thought you were going to say the amount of death that would rain down on this house and you're getting all slow. So it was like being dramatic. I don't want to step on him right now. If you're like the amount of death, you wouldn't even know. I thought there was going to be something like that. So I was like ready for like the big Ronnie moment.

I couldn't even think of anything else. No, that's it. The amount of death. Everyone has to think about. Everyone, this is a thought exercise on the podcast. Think about the big Ronnie moments. I can't even think of anything else. No, that's it. The amount of death. Everyone has to think about. Everyone, this is a thought exercise of the podcast that think about the amount of death, okay? But yeah, she said it's bad. But yeah, how the fuck do you sit there and look at somebody who you just found out

fucked your best friend for seven months and is just sitting there acting like, oh, I know big deal. I thought Ariana, actually in this entire scene, I was so impressed with the way she handled it herself. You know, and by the way, I know big deal. I thought Ariana, actually in this entire scene, I was so impressed with the way she handled it herself. You know, and by the way, I'm not saying this because yes, we know Ariana, yes, there's a picture of her behind me.

Like I'm just saying, as someone watching this show, you know, for me in a high stress environment, A, I tend to cry, and B, I get flamix with my words, you can see when I get really excited on this podcast, I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, art jokes, you know? So I'm so impressed with how she both kept her cool, but she also just like, she just like, she stuck it to him so well in this, in this scene. I was so happy.

It was like very like satisfying for me. So he's sitting here saying all this bullshit, like, oh, I was in Schwartz's, you know, et cetera. And that, the fact that she would, he would say, every time I try to apologize to you, it just makes you more angry. It's like, well, actually, you know, it's probably gonna make her the angriest,

the fact that you cheated on her and lied on her, okay? Or lied to her. So, and she's like, good, well, let me be angry, okay? I mean, I don't care, Let me be angry because you should still apologize whether I'm angry or not. It's absolutely correct. You know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like a mother who's telling her teenage idiot

the same thing over and over and over. And she's pissed, but she's doing it again. She's like, here we are again. You know, me yelling get Tom on how to fucking Pretend like he's a person with actual feelings, you know, that's what it came across to me as and he's like I'm sorry like the way why I didn't want to He's like okay, so you didn't want to hurt me But then you continue to do something repeatedly over and over and over again

He's like dude we stopped dude that happened and over again. He's like, dude, we stopped, dude. That happened and then it didn't happen for a while. So cool. That's so good. So you took a pause. You took a pause in your fucking of the other person. Glad you got it some time, just like to chill, relax, and reset before you guys started fucking again.

So Aaron was like, oh great. Well, I've been with you for nine years and back when you lived with Schwartz, we became friends. Back when you were literally wearing combat boots and skinny jeans and I put up with that. And you didn't have a dime to your name, you're driving in 1997, Honda Civic. And I loved you then when you had nothing

and you got a little bit of money, a little bar. I love when you went a little bar because you're like, oh, it's big bar. And a little band, even better. And then this girl is gonna act enamored with you. Like, oh my God, I'm like, ugh, like really? That's what you want, like really?

Like, just want someone to gas you up. That girl is searching for identity and men. And she has no identity of her own. Willing stoop as solo as the fuck one of her best friends, life partners. And that's someone you think is a good person. You should be around. I was like, oh my god, I love this. One of many amazing monologues this episode.

I was like, this is, I don't know what to do with this episode already. It was a good monologue. Like, if this were back in the day when I was doing dramatic interpretation in high school competitions, thank you. Hold on. I'll wait to you guys sit down. Check it out. It's like a combo body. It's like a combo body. Yeah. Dramatic Interrupt Guys and Humorous Interrupt. Kick that to both.

Sit down. Sit down. It's not the time for a plus. This I would have probably chosen as one of my Samuel French bookstore monologues to do in a competition. It's a good one. But just do it as like Sally Field and like Steel Magdolias. Like, oh great. I've been with you for nine years. Back when you were short for a friend. So when you were literally like wearing gone bad boots and skinny jeans and didn't have a dive to your name.

Grabbing a 1997 hot Pacific. I love you, then, when you had nothing. You got a little bit of money, a little bar, a little pad. And then this girl's got an acting, never in my queue with like, oh my god, you're so, ah! I think I'm- I'm just joking, this. I think- Oh, I'm telling you, look at my face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sir, careful alley. So then Tom, just like he got, you know, pulled over by the police after curfew and he's been dragged home to mom again smelling my weed. He's like, I don't know how it happened. It just did, like we became really good friends. Like, I was seeking something I wasn't getting here and I know that selfish. What the fuck, dude? See, you're not getting something there so you go seek it somewhere else.

You pay your tab at the first city restaurant first. You don't just go sample from different restaurants for free the whole night, okay? Yeah, you don't order postmates into the restaurant if you don't like the food there. Oh, I guess some people really do do that. So either way, it's like, so like this is, this is the beginning of many ridiculous excuses from him about like,

basically blaming her. Like I wasn't getting something, I wasn't getting here. Like if maybe I was getting something here, maybe I wouldn't cheat. Like that is the implicit thing there. So obnoxious. I'm a shoes. Here comes one right now. Like that is the implicit thing there, so obnoxious. Come on, Shows!

Here comes one right now! Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion Podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 starting June 22nd on Max and listen to end just like that the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So he's like I was being selfish. She's like selfish is the nicest word you could use.

It's horrible but like me and Rick Hell became like really good friends and I was like, well I'm gonna let you do it. You're a better screamer than I am. I'm gonna let you do Ariana's line here. I don't give a fuck about fucking Rakao! Ah! And so she's screaming out of your friendship as fucking bullshit, Tom. And he's like, no, not, no, not. And I was like, what?

Now you're gonna defend your relationship with Rakao? Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, sit there and shut up. Just shut up. What are you doing? And then to, do you remember when this came out that they shot all day in Tom's house? The first scene with Ariana and Tom that they shot and Tom left and was threatening to walk off the set and yelling at the producers, telling them that that scene was trying to make him look like they were trying to make him look bad at the scene. I mean, what a fucking narcissist.

What? Just like all your words are going to be used. More than a rainy. It's raining murder. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. Like, no, we have a real friendship. It's like, dude, just like, you know what, even if it's real, just like, X-Nay on the Akelle Ray, please. So, Ariana's like, this is, it's disgusting, it's bullshit, and he's like, oh, you know everything. Hey everybody, this person knows everything. She's like, your friendship with Raquel is disgusting, and he goes,

well, guess what? It's fucking real, because she treats me with fucking respect. Something I haven't gotten from me in a long time, sir. Do you want to, do you want to emerge from this this year alive? This is ridiculous. What are you this is I could not believe you said that that he was again blaming Ariana She doesn't respect him enough, which is but Raquel does Raquel is a fan You know, so she's like, oh, okay, so I'm the scapegoat on the one to blame you had to fuck my fucking friend Okay, I see and he goes it wasn't about sex it was a connection where we were both respecting each other and giving each other Confidence oh my god. I don't fuck gen L the weight watcher's counselor

Okay, yes, it was about the sex you idiot if it wasn't about the sex this wouldn't be a problem You would have just been friends with her, which is what she thought that you were This wouldn't be a problem. You would have just been friends with her, which is what she thought that you were. It's not about this, X. Fucking around isn't on you, isn't really about the fucking. It's that she respected me. Yeah, well, you're taking someone

who's completely insecure and an emotional idiot and kind of taking advantage in a way and being like creepy and gross and giving her the attention she needs and manipulating her all the way around and then fucking her and your girlfriend's bed while she, you are so fucking gross, dude. You're nasty.

I can't believe that this is his defense. I'm still shocked. It's terrible. His defense is one of his many terrible defenses. So since the end of all's hike, he's like, well, you know, Ariana, this relationship, it's just, it wasn't the same thing to be Separated all the time like you go your way all the time. I don't want my way. We have no sex life

Like it just lost its mojo like you can't see you says I lost all my mojo I know sex life I lost my mojo. It's like you're the one who started up a cover band is our touring. That's you actively going away from your long-term girlfriend and your ship lap house to be with a child orchestra in a Gora Hills next to like a yogurt land. Also, why are you talking like Austin Powers, dude? Get your mojo, baby. Yeah.

I was like, was I? No. That is possible. I could just break it down. I love you. No, I love you. I'm not talking was I? No. That is possible. I could just break it out. I love you. No, I love you. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Tom Sendolval.

So, Arianna is like, oh, okay, yeah. Okay, I got it. So, fuck my friend. So, go fuck my friend. He gets your mojo back, sure. And he's like, but once I turned 40, I was like, this can't be the rest of my life. And she goes, Tom, that's normal.

And he goes, I know. And she's like, and that's why couples go to therapy together, which we could have, you know? We both have things. You either go through them together or you break up. And he's like, but I tried to dog you, dude. Like the last few months, the amount of times I got in the policy out of you, like I can count on one hand.

And she's like, the last few months, you were fucking my friend the whole time. I know. I just also love, by's like, uh, the last few months, you were fucking my friend the whole time. I know. I just also love, by the way, like once I turn 40, I realize this can't be the rest of my life, you know? Being in a committed relationship with like a super hot girl who's like totally chill and supportive of all my like, quixotic impulses, being successful, being famous,

being in a nice house, I just, I can't live that way. I could not. I just think this can't be the rest of my life. Oh my god. So he's like, I tried, I tried talking to you, and she's like, yeah, you were fucking my best friend. And he goes, yeah, well, you put pressure on me to stay in the relationship,

because two weeks ago, I was like, Ariana, I wanna end things. And you literally told me, I'm not letting you break up up with me and you'll have to force me out of this Okay, first of all you were already fucking her best friend. Yes, okay, and you would are you'd also waited for the cameras and everything else to stop rolling and every Who's thing you could have done the whole time, you know, and she's like well if that was true Then you should have never been in my bed after that night. And he's like, well, I felt bad. And he's like, oh, you felt bad. Tom, you have to end it. You have to leave. He goes, but at that point, it was too late. She's like, you were already fucking Rekel. What are

you talking about? It wasn't that. It wasn't that. It wasn't that. That you were like fucking someone else, it was like not part of the reason why you weren't here, it's not that easy. I mean, like, it's just like, he really is a child he got, like who knocked over his mom's vase and is like trying to fix it.

It is. It's like one in the morning and he's just stumbled in and his mom is standing there in his bathrobe with like a rolled up newspaper ready to whoop him. You know, it's like, what? I told you I was going out. And he's like, it's not just like somebody's like, stroking my ego that this happened.

It's not about the looks. It's like it came from like something much deeper like, Rakel's deep, fascinating personality with so many layers and interesting insights on life. I mean, as time went on, we became like a support system for each other, you know? Like, I would sing a terrible song and you'd be like, that sounded good. I was like, I needed that. And she's like, don't you dare talk to me about a deep connection. And he's like, I know you don't want to hear it. She goes, just shut off. You're disgusting.

Go say it to her. When are you going to see her next? Are you guys going to kiss and hug and talk about your deep connection? He's like, I don't know. I can't. It's like, how are you even sitting there having this conversation? She's sitting there trying to like

have a real conversation with this guy. And he's just like, it's your fault. It's almost like, okay, I forgive you. He almost like he's like, oh yeah, I forgive you. He's like, listen, I forgive you for trying to keep me from true love. I forgive you, Ariana. Can I please make you a latte while you think about what you've done to me?

It's almost like he's very insistent that this is a deep thing, almost to say, I know I betrayed you and I betrayed your trust, but it was for something really deep and wonderful, so that makes it okay, because I wasn't getting that here. say like, I know I betrayed you and I betrayed your trust, but it was for something like really deep and wonderful, so that makes it okay, because I wasn't getting that here. It's like it's so disrespectful. So Ariana's like, well, why don't you just say no. I was right or fucking die for you. I had, and I had her back as well. And the fact that she continues to smile in my face while also smiling on FaceTime with you is one of the most god-awful, disgusting things I've ever heard of in Siannaval's like, I'm sorry you had to see that.

She's like, oh, she's like, she's like, why don't you be sorry that you ever fucking did it, you moron? And then we see pictures of them all at Halloween. What's at these three at Halloween? Or was it Logan? I think I couldn't tell because the guy was dressed as the hamburger glor, and I was like, oh my god.

Never fucking be with someone. I like that all the signs were there. You know what I mean? So. And I was like, oh my God, never fucking be with someone. I like all the signs were there. You know what I mean? So then Santa Claus, like, sorry, you had to see that. She's like, why aren't you sorry? You did it. Why are you sorry that I saw the video?

Like this guy, how do you talk to this? I don't know how she's even still serving her mind. I would have just let everything on fire personally. So then she has kind of a little, another monologue where she's crying. And she's like, you know, I regret every moment I defended you, supported you, it stood up for you.

You're worth nothing. And I want you to feel that, deep in your soul. And I want you to hear that out of the mouth of the one fucking woman that stood by you and loved you and I want you to hear that out of the mouth of the one fucking woman that stood by you and loved you and was ready to hear, uh, ready to build the rest of my life around you. Hear my words and know that's how I feel about you. And he's like trying to try to get the victim points, but he can't, so he's just like doing

his squinty eyes off to the distance like, yeah, really upset right now. I can't believe Harry-Harr Ariana's trying to stand in between me and my true love. Brickell. A broomstick that can be it in patches. So Ariana's like, literally came to her first reunion dressed as a swiffer. And from that moment, I was in love with the effortless clean

she brought to my kitchen. I couldn't resist her. Literally she has so much static cling. So Ariana's like, I regret ever loving you. Any last words before we never speak again? Which I just love. I just love like a cold, like a knife that comes out cold just goes right into the abdomen.

He's like, no, I never thought this would happen. I thought we'd be together forever. Like you were sleeping with someone else. This is not like fate, intervene, and like sent you guys to different continents. You fucked right now. Yeah. It's not even only fuck fucked. It's like you had a relationship with somebody. You fucking not. So she's, she she starts crying and she's like, I would have followed you anywhere and I would have checked, well, I know.

But now he has any fans, that's all he wants. Just someone following him around with the phone app. Oh, it did. It's all he wants. Did you see on Instagram, someone I apologize for the account that I don't remember the name, someone took a screenshot from Like an early season season two when he was breaking up to Kristen and he literally said the caption

It's like my very presence Unnoiser which of course was the phrase he was using all last week. I mean this guy really doesn't change No, he waits until he's cheating and then he makes it your fault. I mean, it's classic. It's classic. And, you know, and it's like you were saying earlier, it's not even that fun because he's such a cliche, you know, it's just like we've watching this. I thought, you know, this is so sad to see on a show where you like these characters so much and stuff, but it's also like kind of boring in a way because he's just such a fucking cliche and he's not even good at it, you know? So then the piano stinkling and the song goes,

I love turned into rust and broken heart to dust, but at least we can drive. We can drive. Hmm. Beautiful. Beautiful melody to underscore this moment. And we're here at Schwartz's apartment, which is honestly, it's a style. Like I don't, I know not everyone is like a clean freak,

but like at least be like observant to certain basic levels of hygiene. It is just like you're sort of you are 40. It's disgusting. There's cameras in your home. You know what I mean? If they just like showed up, like if it was just like cops, you know, and they just happen to show up and start shooting,

and you had to sign off on it later, that's one thing. But babe, you knew the cameras were coming. Client, come in your house. Just do a little bit. So, SantaVal comes over, and he looks like a low-level con artist, like he looks like he's someone in a crime movie that the police have to interview to find out where the hideout is.

He just shows up looking. He's wearing the basic outfit they give you in cramped F-Dotto. You know? So, Shor's like, oh, level criminal who hasn't done enough crime yet to earn the high level set. It's just your black jeans, your black shirt,

and your little leather jacket and your cheesy haircut. Yeah, you're like stage one. So, shorts like, there he is, the most refiled man in America. Dude, this is very bad. I know, like, I think there's bacteria growing on your floor. No, with you, not with my apartment. So then, Sandival starts like sobbing, sobbing.

It's fake,, sobbing. Fake sobbing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, which is hilarious that he can do that with, uh, sound I wish Swartz, but not to Ariana at all. Yeah. So, uh, he's like, well, I'm not going to beat you while you're down. I go, dude, I'm sorry. No, to your the air the air cry. And he plays it like he plays the guitar. And so, SantaVall's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So Schwartz is like, listen, I just want you to know, like, this isn't good.

Like, we went from 4.8 stars on Yelp to one star. The priority is. The user reviews, you guys, oh my God. Bird this place down, collect the insurance and give it to Ariana. I like this one, which may have actually been posted before Scandalvol, found a cockroach in my pasta, hashtag, not about the pasta. That had nothing to do with any of this.

That was just a general update on what that restaurant's like. A disgrace to the strip mall that it lives in. Red Lobster had better decor. Hey, actually, whoever wrote that has clearly not been to a red lobster in a while because they've made an effort and dare I say their decor is enticing. Charming and lovely. Hello. It is. What part of it? And I end. What part of a captain's wheel mounted on the wall does not seem absolutely delightful

to you. I would like to know who that lobster was. Red Lobster. I like to call it Fed Lobster, because that's where I'm gonna be fed, okay? That place is delightful. And how dare you say something about that place? I, yeah, please don't bring red lobster into scandal, okay, red lobster is a super place. And I, I love it so much I once had an adult birthday there,

so how about that? So, um, yeah, Captain Lobster didn't go fuck some aged out, pageant loser. I will say, though, it was an ultimate seafood fest that probably got Santa Valle into this mess. But that being said, I do have to say also shorts, opening up the scene, be like,

this is bad, this is so bad. And he is And what he's referring to is the Yelp Reviews going down and not the fact that you cheated and lied in Ariana that you broke her heart that you probably got low Yelp Reviews, which were never going away. Well, it's that he got caught, you know, and it hurt their business. So, Sandivall is wiping his air tears and Schwartz is like, I exhausted myself, it's in Sand, he's like, but everything in it. And then we see the clip of Katie going, I mean, this place broke us. And it almost

broke you. And it did break me. So was it worth it, Tom? Was it worth it? And he's like, they cut out the part where he's like, oh, hey, how are you? Thanks for coming. Come on over. No, we're not talking about anything. He wants some seafood nachos. Wow. So Schwartz is like, can you maybe do a pose to explain to people that I'm not complicit in this? Like, you came to me, you can fight it in me. I said, Tom, out of respect for what you have with Ariana, you have to tell her, can you just like, can you like make sure people aren't mad at me? I'm like, really, this is your priority. I mean, I understand.

It does, like legitimately, if you're in a business with someone and someone is being like an asshole and stupid and doing, making terrible decisions that's impacting your business, that does suck. But also, like, you've had several months to take care of this. So, like. You're letting them fuck in your house. What are you talking about?

Like, isn't his place like their fuck pad or something? That's what it sounded like in this episode. So shut up like you didn't know and yeah You're gonna get the blow back too because you were enabling this shit And now you didn't say anything and if you did it was just like two weeks ago After this shit had already been going on forever and you're doing this bullshit story trying to cover for him the entire season So you didn't have to do anything. You know, and I get that you're best friends, you don't have to necessarily blow the whistle, but the fact that you were like encouraging it and enabling it with your apartment, fuck

you dude, you deserve it. You deserve it, you deserve whatever you're getting, sir. Yeah, so sand of all is like, um, it's like, I know, I just wanted to tell her and every time I wanted to tell her, I just got this vibe that she like just didn't want to know. Oh, oh, you know what, by the way, I take us all back. If I had known that there was a vibe that Santa Valls was picking up on, I, you know what, you totally and the right, how could I, how could I even criticize him? There was a vibe.

Of course he can't, of course he can't break this up and do the right thing. He felt a vibe. If Tom felt vibes knowing that like people didn't want to hear something, he would never have sung in the first place. Okay, you don't have, you don't feel vibes. He would have felt that. You don't feel them.

He would have fed Newton's to a child or orchestra already. They're just like, it's not a time yet. So. So Schwartz is like, I have to sit down because my world just got turned upside down man. So okay, so now he's gonna make himself to victim in all of this. Which is kind of, like he kind of is a victim in all of this, but he's just as rad

and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that he's not, you know? So Sande of all is like, well, I mean, Raquel, we have a really deep connection. You don't have to guys night, the Mondrian on, and then we see a clip of the girls coming. And then we're like, whoa, Raquel. And then he tells us, nothing happened that night, but the next day was like, see you next Tuesday or something, and then Raquel and I went to the Abbey, and we were just taking some shots, and then we like, just kissed kissed. So you weren't with other people at the Abby, that was a lie.

And also, Ali just jumped a whole lot by being the first one to call this out. She broke this story. Yeah, she's trouble. Ali broke this story. And just because a lot of other news outlets picked it up does not mean that the original reporter shouldn't get credit.

Ali, for Pulitzer. I also just as a reminder that these people should be going out and about and parting and getting drunk all the time because otherwise they missed a good shit like this. So, Sandebel. Well, it's also really another kick in the balls that he did this in pub. Did they're just doing this in public right next door to their job? So, you know, they don't give a fuck. Because you know there's like, there's like, there's like,

Vanderbump rules, Bravo fans that go to sort all the time they go the Abbey afterwards. Yes, we are them. So I think that looks like at this point, he was trying to get caught. Right, I mean, it looks like they were being as blatant as possible to get caught. And Ariana was like refusing to hear it

because she didn't want to break up and nobody would say anything or whatever. But this seems like it's asking to be caught so he didn't have to do the hard work of the breakup and actually having that. It could possibly note the courage to say something because the Abbey dude, making out at the Abbey. By the way, also like, that's our space.

Okay, can you take your, that's our space, okay? Can you take your, can you take your, I don't know, a normative scandal to another place. So then he's like, he's like, yeah, I know we kissed at the Abbey and I felt something in that moment that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm like, was it a proper note? Did you hit a proper note?

Was that what you felt? No, you heard music that's actually on key for the first time in a long time. Was it an acting role? Was? Was that what you felt? No, you heard music that's actually on key for the first time. Was it an acting role? Was it an acting role you felt? So he goes on with his, we've been growing apart and it's been going on for like five years, his whole song and dance.

He does this the whole hour and a half. Then we see coked out Jackson, Jackson. He's like, I don't even believe, like there was a relationship, like it's like a facade, you know what I mean? Like, I just don't even believe it. It's like a facade. So, can we not have, can we not commission jacks for, for as a character witness to your side

at Tom's animal? Can't we do better than that? Okay, that already shows how flimsy your case is. So, yeah. So then, Santa Valls, doesn't make feel like 20 years ago too? It was only 2019, but seeing Jackson's coaked out old face at 2019, it just seems like,

God, it's like looking at pictures of like when the Hindenburg happened. It's like this is history. This is really old history. I don't think I want to remember. So much has happened. So much has happened in the world and in Vanamprom Rules that it just, it does, it's like watching Charlie Chaplin.

So, SantaVall, yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm in a relationship with like zero intimacy and like the only time I can get off is like, when I watch porn in the bathroom and like I went into therapy and like, I don't know, like that didn't turn me on either. Like I don't know what to do. Have you tried masturbating a therapy and it not working?

I mean, God, if you can't splooch to it out there, who are you supposed to be able to splooch too? But the good news is my therapist is playing drumbo in my band now. So it's like pretty cool. To be fair, my therapist is a 17 year old high school student, but that's neither here nor there. So Swartz is like, well, that's all relatable, but you just had so many opportunities to sit with Ariane to talk about, do what I try to. And he's like, and then last week, I gave you an opportunity when I said, his time to tell her, because if this comes out, he's like, I know. So he said, you know, he knows, but he wanted to be on the same page as Raquel. He didn't want to just disrespect Raquel by outing her at the wrong time.

God forbid. He disrespects someone that he loves, you know, what a standup guy. I know, exactly. And so then, um, I then he was like, yeah, no, and then like, you know, like nothing happened with me and Raquel until like the life is beautiful festival and Ariana never even asked, okay? Like I said I was going to shortz is and all she had to do was follow me to see that I'm not like What is the what is the meaning of this this logic? So like it's Ariana's fault that she wasn't suspicious enough of you. Yes. Yes. He's saying she should have been suspicious

And checking up on me and literally following me to find out what I was doing. Like I've made it so obvious for her and she didn't even bother to follow me around. She didn't even care enough to be possessive. She actually trusted me. How awful. Yeah, so then you know, well, because with Kristin,

he had the whole opposite gas light where he could say, oh, she's just fucking psycho, where he makes you psycho and makes you start questioning him. And then you start following them around and looking through his phone. And then he could say, see, I told you she was psycho, but it didn't work because Ariana was just like,

why would I follow Tom? How boring. He's probably gonna go do something boring, you know, and I do not want to be a part of it. So I'm gonna keep following him. I've got to catch up on episodes 83 to 107 on love Island season six Yeah

So he's so short sick. I mean, I don't think you really want to put the responsibility on her right? I mean, oh god, like no people are upset with me. I'm canceled just for knowing you I love that it's all about him this fucking loser and then to work Sande ball is like oh, yeah, well just stay off social media, bro It's a cute you suck. Oh deserve you are you advocating some sort of your Cruisers I you're advocating some restraints or is that what I'm hearing from you? Oh, okay? I got it No, it's just saying fuck you like for even complaining like this is a problem for you Just stay off social media. This isn't even about you, this is about me.

You guys are both so selfish, you deserve the sad, washed up life you're entering into. Enjoy this next chapter, because I'm sure gonna enjoy it from my couch. Yeah, so now we go back to Ariana's house and she has now gathered the gaze. We know she's at that stage of grieving where the gaze have gathered,

so she's got Logan,'s got Brad Meredith is back By the way because Meredith like fully vanished into thin air once that like initial area on it and sand of all arguments Art because Meredith was there and I don't know where she went She just disappeared, but now she's back and Logan's talking about like there's some apartments available Near him or in his building so funny. He goes oh my god There are his honest funny goes, there are some apartments available in my apartment, Godfrey. Just like that.

I'm not fucking moving here. Yeah, I'm kidding. Well, I don't have enough glow sticks to make it through the hallway of your fucking apartment building, sir. She's like, yeah, Lisa Vanderbump actually offered for me to stay there. So does your apartment building have miniature horses

and a pool and a panoramic view of LA? Just want them to know. No, okay, I'm gonna stay for me to stay there. So does your apartment building have miniature horses and a pool and a panoramic view of LA? Just want them to know. No, okay, I'm gonna stay with Lisa. I have a bottle. So she and I come in, she's like, I'm out of some supplies. And I didn't see what they worded, did you? Rose, it was basically just Rose.

It was like two boxes. It was like two little boxes. It was like two little blue boxes. It was probably like collectors edition of the Uber remix of Good to Skulls. Kassingles. Kassingles corner. So um they sheen us like ah! Second oh my god I'm so sorry you don't deserve adding up last you do not! Did anybody bring me something? Like why is anybody bringing me something? I used to hear it still to read your guys. You did a- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH They look like this. Why? She doesn't do that.

Well, the reason why you haven't seen her crying recently is because I'm having like literally the happiest moment of my life. Like I'm so happy right now, there's no reason to cry. I like I'm gonna cry, because I'm happy but it's like a different kind of cry. I'll have a talk, I'll play this. She's like, it's not even like, it's not even like,

this is like a whoops, we kissed one time when we were on after the coach alla. This is like a full, long, long, long, long, long. I got it. And they're like, yeah like yeah full on and then Katie comes over and they hug and cry and she and he goes um here's some mine I think we can agree to put a slide our shit uh for now okay and Katie's like yeah it doesn't really matter today okay but could you watch from that balcony yeah I still hate you I hate you too bitch please I just want you to know that like I have restored your access to the members

on the pool. So I feel like we've put this beef this beef away. You're now a preferred member of this pool. So I'm glad to ask you. You know, I have access to the buffet. So I'm going to welcome. So Katie's like, uh, Katie actually says this is the first time she's even seen Sheena, because I think that like all the group events didn't even occur to me that Sheena wasn't,

they did not overlap because then Sheena had COVID for some of the ones who were seeing at the season or something like that. So then Ariana starts just telling them about like how she found the screen recording on the phone and Ariana's like, yeah, like he was at Schwartz's doing that and Katie's like, he was at Schwartz's, like you can get a boner with all those like

crusty socks hanging around, really? Wow. At least someone at Schwarze's can get a boner, right? So Ariana's like, yeah, and that's when I called Raquel, and I was like, you need to like tell me what the fuck and when did this start? And she was like, after the girls trip,

and I was like, you mean right after Charlotte died? Like, oh wow, this just gets better and better. Yeah. It's just you went home because your dog, you had to put your dog down. Tom's banging somebody. And he didn't. She says, yeah. Oh, go ahead. So I'm sorry. I can say that like he left, he lost his key. So then she had to actually let him into the house. He, after he just had sex the hotel, she left in the house in her car. She says, yeah, he's he first, she said they just kissed, but then she kept on him and he admitted that they fucked in her car that night. Oh my god. So she in a space. It's just like, so then, um, she is talking. She has her

amount of lockdown. She's like, together night. I was so much rage. I was so much rage in me. It's like it was enchilada night and there was not one corn tortilla in the grocery store I've never felt something like that again and I shoved her cows so hard away from me and she like Just ran back to my hotel room and I don't know if my nail caught her when I pushed her or what But she turned her hiding in the fence of the wall or whatever the fuck it was the moat or the mountain in the hill I mean, I don't even know what I don't know if we were in a swimming pool or what, but then she got swarts and she was like, she nip uns me, she nip uns me! Now here I would like to express something to the jury. May it please the court that it is scientifically impossible for me to form an actual fist because all of my

nails would break and if I make a fist this way, my thumb would break. If I make a fist this way, my nails would break. My hands literally don't work. I don't understand fist. The only handshape I can really make is just like all my fingers are going ha! Also ridiculous. She literally goes, um, I just like to say to the jury

that is physically impossible for me to make fists. And she makes two fists right in the camera. I also love the say of the jury, that is physically impossible for me to make fists. And she makes two fists, right? And camera. I also love the idea of Gina shoving Raquel, according to her shoving Raquel, and then running all the way back to her hotel. Like running through the streets of New York City, like, ha! So do the lobby the hotel, up the elevator. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Oh gosh. So Katie's like, yeah, well, I feel like Tom Schwartz news, yeah, because he made a comment at Bravicon and stuck with me. And do you remember the sweatshirt situation? And so she tells us that at Bravicon,

Raquel were at Tom Tom Ho hoodie with like basically nothing on underneath. And at the time I thought it was about her in shorts, but then I was like, she's a fan girl following you guys around like a groupie. And he was like, she's not around for me. Trust me. And yeah, that's pretty bad. And I do remember when that happened. Do you remember when she's like, oh I was just a fan girl and I was like you leave her alone

She's just wearing a ton of sweaters because she's nice Katie's like I feel like I want to draw blood. She's like well I want to I want to break that penis float that's up there and so they're like oh my god Let's do it Logan's like this is my moment. I've been wanting to do this for four years. Okay, Shina I will give you a hundred100 if you break the penis flue. She's like, no, I physically can't, cause my fist, like I can't make fists. I actually can't clutch a penis flue.

It just physically impossible for me. So Logan does it. He breaks it over his, and he is so proud when he gets it. He's so delighted. He's like, oh my God, I do not. So very honest, like, oh my God, I really didn't want you to do that.

They start laughing. So then we got to James Nallie's apartment and he's typical James kind of over love bombing her. He's dropped something, he's like, baby, baby, I'm just so nervous. Oh baby, so beautiful. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm nervous, wreckily, Oh, give me a kiss, just so gorgeous, so gorgeous, so cute, just scares me, scares me how people can do this, you know, who is so close to me.

I'm not even mad about Raquel, I'm mad about Tom Sandivall, she's gorgeous, gorgeous creature, got me on, let me pet you with my nose. Tom Sandivall is the definition of a backstabber. I always kind of looked up to him in a sense, you know, especially with my trust issues with Raquel, and then we see unseen footage

of like a few years ago with Sandevol telling, um, James. Doom, you gotta know, you gotta know and have enough trust in her to know that she's not gonna do anything shitty, okay? She would not betray you, man, and I'm not gonna betray you either, dude. So, James now James is crying back in the interview and he's like, it's just, it was just like a real waste of adventure. I like, I think that all the way, I like, oh, you's just a really waste of adventure. I like, I do the other way, I like,

oh, you're such a fucking piece of shit, bro. You're such a fucking piece of shit. So there's knock on the door. Do you remember when he fought to Christen? When he started fucking Christen, when he was gonna start that band with Tom Sandeval? Oh, yeah, that's true, dude. I know that was a long time ago.

I'm not saying it's the same thing. It's just the show, the history of the show. It's a wrap. I'm sorry to cough. Well, it's true too. I know that was a long time ago. I'm not saying it's the same thing. It's just the show, the history of the show. It's a crap. I'm sorry to cough. It swells something wrong. It's okay. It's okay. You think I'd have it down by now, but apparently not.

Well, you know, on this show, there's a lot of issues with swallowing apparently. So, I mean, I had a purple rose first. So, Zanao, there's a Lala and Katie show up and then James is like, I'll tell you a grinoe and Lala's like, how are you, Jameson? I feel like there's a lot of info, a lot of info happening right now. And so, I'm drinking it 430 in the afternoon, so there's that, that's not shocking James, are you actually like that sound like a sign?

So here's like, well, you know, my anger about Schwartz is out the window because now I've found out the sand of all and Rachele have been fucking the whole time. And Lala's like, there was a time where I was like, I think we're looking at the wrong times here. And then we see a clip of Lala being like, I think sand of all has a thing for Rekhaos.

Yeah, and yeah, through her whole, like it's her redemptive moment that she was like sniffing it out and everything. And she's like, you know, he did this to Kristen and he did it to Ariana's and like guess what? He got bored with Ariana's and he wants to be a sloppy drunk and she's fun and he got off on the fact that he couldn't sneak around.

Sk. Yeah, and do you think this is the first time that he's been creeping around? Because no one chooses right off the bat and I'm gonna cheat. I was like, oh no, Lala's going, Lala's starting this shit. I can't let what she does. So she starts going off and she's like, no one chooses right off the bat. So I'm gonna cheat some of my girl with a friend of hers. And his obsession with pickleball, so a dementia-addled Bruce Willis perform a terrible movie swapping into girls on the crosswalk in Nashville.

Mother fuckers! Okay, really didn't last, that's random. Your project. Come back, Lala. She's like a back Lala. A few years ago, I heard rumors that Tom and Billy Lee like go off and do whatever that they do. And then we see unseen footage at every union

with the Christians like, oh, Jesse Montana said that you guys went off and fucked. And La La was like, yeah, you know what? We need to open that case back up because it went cold. And I don't think it need to be cold no more. I'm like, okay, you're from Salt Lake City, go La La, come on.

You need to stop La La, okay, please. It's humiliate, it's embarrassing to literally everybody in America. It just stops. That case donating embarrassing to literally everybody in America. Just stop. That case don't need to go cold. Okay. It's like, oh, no. How does she get away with that?

She's like, cold cases, be cold. I'm like, okay, you know what, Lala? Okay, stop it. Yeah, stop it. I'm humiliated. So James is like, you know what we're gonna do? Let's co-requel right now. Like, oh my god, James is like, yeah. Or I'm gonna, you guys face co-recale right now. Like, oh my god, James, he's like, yeah.

Oh, I'm gonna, you guys face time. Okay, fine, all call her. So he calls her and Ali's like, I'm going to the kitchen. She's mortified. And Ali literally spends a scene like hiding behind the counter and like looking over the counter. Or like she's behind, then they cut to her

and she's like behind the cabinet door looking out. Like, oh my god. So he calls her. I like that she's like, I'm going to the kitchen as if the kitchen is not five feet away. She's okay I'm here right there yeah I'm I'm not a part of this because I'm standing two feet away I have to clear which part of the apartment I'm in even though I'm the same place so he calls her and Raquel answers which Raquel like literally is the dumbest person so she's like hey what's up he's oh man how do you feel about what you've

done fatty fat McFat fat and she's like well I feel real shitty about it I guess now like basically now that I got caught I feel shitty about it because it's all over the news yeah and so he's like so you incentive on it I'm now a Raquel huh huh huh Raquel are you an No, oh really? How about losing every single person who thought you, who thought you liked Los Angeles? Okay, did you fuck them to you? Okay, it's like, well, yeah, this is definitely eye opening,

which I don't like, it's eye opening for us, not for you. And she's like, oh my god. Oh, your eyes being open. You were the one, you were the one doing the sneaky shit. Oh, well, you know what, you lied everyone everyone's face you done diddly fucked yourself over Great use of diddly by James done did you so diddly done you diddly done fucked yourself Oh, but like all the people you were building friendship with you trashed it for Santa boss stinky little cock cock That is stinky little 40-year-old cock cock for seriously Rick Al stinky little 40 year old cock cock. Seriously, Rick Al, stinky and faulty.

That's hilarious, really. And Al is just like peeking behind like a box of girls cut cookies like, oh my God, please stop this. She's like, excuse me, I'm going to step into the pantry, she just hides behind a box. So she's like hiding behind one dry piece of rigatoni. Like, oh my God, James, stop! I could hear it all the way in the pantry!

So James is like, you're not the brightest chick, oh you. Let's not Dilly Dally round the bush. The smartest thing you ever did was creep around with Tomter. Yes, I have said, Dilly and Dilly Dally are in the span of 20 seconds. He's like, he's telling this girl off in like nursery rhymes. Like, Dilly done fucked herself, didn't she? Let's not Dilly Dally about that slap, it's loppy. You've done dilly-dally- Senderval for seven months And then he tells us, Judge me all you want! All right, James Kennedy, that's just struck back.

Honestly, I've been going through a lot of emotions lately and it's just what I needed. Sorry, no sorry. And he's like, Baaah, as he hangs up the phone. So now we go to Raquel's apartment, which we know that Raquel's been having a fairyt Tom Sine of all because there's LED lights everywhere. LED, behind every chair, behind every nook and cranny, there's an LED light, but also amusingly in...

The Galaxy lights. But it was more than just Galaxy lights, there wasn't it, there's like lots of like pink, high light in purple. Probably, but she definitely had the Galaxy light showing in the whole way. They're like definitely like lasers going on. It was like a planetarium in there. It was the the hallway. They're like definitely like lasers going up.

It was like a planetarium in there. It was a galaxy like, yeah. So she had that going on. Also, the reason this whole thing disturbs me, like I do, it's kind of a careful way, I guess I have to word it, but she is emotionally, like a child, it's weird. Like she's in this, We got in her apartment.

She seems completely disconnected from everything. She's got squished mellows on her couch. Those are children's things you get at the grocery store. My niece used to collect them all, you know? Like even she would be like, that bitch is immature, you know what I mean? Like they're, it's embarrassing. Like you're having an affair with it. It's just, well, this just the whole thing is creepy.

And I think that's why Arianna's like, this is disgusting. Like you're taking this girl who's like, literally a blank slate. You know what I mean? It's like somebody reformatted her drive or something. And that's what you're kind of with. It's just, yeah.

She has like a, yeah, like Rick Hell seems, yeah, something is, something is a little off there. Or I won't even say off, I'll just say that something is just not adding up. But also though, in a typical Raquel fashion, I noticed for the first time, it's probably been there all season long that over her sink, she just has a little sign that says,

say, lovey, it's like oops, oh well, say, lovey. Yeah. We're in a fair, say, lovey, because It's like oops, oh well. Say lovey. Random affair, say lovey. Cause that's kind of her vibe in this. Oh wow, this is crazy. So they pour them, they have like a shot together and everything and send them all, like, this is shot to being in hell, where we belong. She's like, oh God.

And meanwhile, he sits on his kitchen counter like kind of with his legs open, like, well, I guess I'm just gonna sit here and not expect you to come cut it up and kiss me in this scene I'm like really you two are gonna have a fucking romantic scene now. What is what are you doing? So she's like well actually I don't really think that we belong and how with her big Fucking weird smile that she's doing this whole episode and she's like I think we're just like two people the like fucking were friends I know you're two friends fucking

Okay, and we started having feelings for each other and he goes yeah, it just like came out of that field Like I tried to hook you up with shorts. I was like dude. You're sleeping on like I really on it You're an idiot. She's fucking amazing goes, um, you just called me Ariana. So he's like, um, can we turn off some lights here? I just want to pretend you're Ariana for a second. So Rick Hell is like, well, I get used to it. What would you rather he call you? Regret?

Regret. Because that's coming. That's all he's thinking about is Ariana right now. He's like, okay, here I am in a tiny apartment of a girl that has squish mellows on her couch and the galaxy light going off in the hallway because that's what we originally bonded over. Me saying that Erdo, Tom also using a galaxy light. Well, the it's like, uh. Well, the rumors today are that Tom and Raquel called the quits, but then Ariana was on watch out for the live. And she was like, no, she just sent him a letter.

Like yesterday it got to the house. So the day of the season finale, there's, yeah. So Raquel's like, I had to tell my family about you and you say, oh, your mom probably fucking hates me, right? Cause a little bit, but they don't really care about what I do in my life, which is I think how I got to this place.

But anyway, what about you? Cause what about your family? He's like, they love you. I love you too. Cause I said they love you, but I love you too. I was like, oh God, are you guys really professing your love? You guys are saying I love you, really? And then I was watching this with closed captioning

because it's easier to take notes. And it says, stage directions, blows raspberry. What does that mean? Because it happens again later. Raspberry, raspberry, like that. Yeah, it's not when you like do that, like, Zerbert kinds on somebody. Oh, I think just any time it blows Raspberry.

I don't know why that's called a Raspberry. I actually really resent that because I hate Raspberry's. So I don't like this. I was like, she's blown Raspberry's too. What does this girl up to? What's going on over here? Blown Raspberry's like, is it Rick L's? Is it Rick L's like, I know we always said we wouldn't do this

if it wasn't worth it. But I think the way it imploded, it's not, like, it's not ideal, Tom. It's not, and it's like, it's the stupidest fucking thing. Yeah. And then they, this is like their small talk, like how this is all exploded, now they're gonna fuck or something.

And he goes, I can't kiss you because there's cameras and she says I can't either I can't either You guys this is not romantic. Okay. What the hell is going on here? Is the camera person cringing? I wanted to see a reverse shot to see what this camera person is going through I think they I think they are definitely cringing. They have a reverse boner right now is going through. I think they are definitely cringing. They have a reverse boner right now. Yeah, they're like very close to each other, but not kissing, so they just wanted to puggings.

The preaches like, why do you think this happened? And she goes, I was just like, curious to know what it would be like. She's doing this, Ben. She's smiling and like lifting her shoulders and shrugging, like she's just found the lover. She's like the star in her own romantic mood. She's like, oh my God.

Yeah, I was just like wondering like what it would be like to be physical with someone that you love because I've only been in empty sad relationships. And like, I feel so sorry for you. I'm so I feel so sad for you. I'm so I feel so sad for you This is her victim story. I just wanted for once to have sex with somebody that I loved I've never had sex like that before have you ever had a man climax Off key it's so weird, but it was thrilling oh

So she's like I should have completely removed myself from the situation, but I didn't have the willpower to not see him. And then she's like, closing her eyes to him so he can see her cut, like little tiny cut that's in her eyebrow. Let me see, let me see your little cut. Also, he looks like he's got some kind of like a bruise or something on his eye. I hope it's from a stiletto being thrown into his fucking face.

No, I just hope one of those crows in the rain dive bombed him just out of revenge. So yeah, so they're like looking at it. She's like, it hurts. So he's like, yeah, well, she knows in the car, like on the car with like she said that she called Tom and Ariana were in the car. She knew it was on speaker talking about this thing and but he had Raquel on speaker too and he said that she knew it was bragging like I punched that

bitch. I punched that bitch. Which uh, hello, did you not understand her scientific defense? Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. I couldn't even say punch my fish because if I said punch it, it would have really hurt the back of my tooth a lot because I liked to use the half of tongue reading in there and I would like hurt the back of my tooth. I can't even physically form my mouth to say the word punch. Even though I just said it.

People don't realize this. People don't realize this, that my hands are actually made of canvas. So they literally just flop in the direction of the breeze. So I can't even make a fist or direct him in any way. They just go in whichever way, which I hold them up to the fan. And hopefully they just align in the way that I need to pick up a fork or something like that.

And she's like, oh yeah, she definitely did punch me. And I'm like, I took it like a charm. And then I was like, is this my karma? My, I mean, look, I'm never gonna say someone should get hit, no one should hit you, you know? I mean, I think that's crossing line, but yes, that's your karma. What the fuck do you think it is?

It's called, it's your consequences. How about that, your consequences? Yeah. So then, because karma sounds like you deserved it, where consequences mean you really deserved it. Okay, so then she's like, oh, so then, okay, so this is where it gets good, because she's still smiling and acting really fucking weird.

So then she's like, you know, all I have is you and my family and my sister. I'm like, that's actually a lot, that's more than a lot of people, you know? But she's like, but I, you know, I am starting to question whether even you have my best interest at heart, that's questionable. Like, am I really going to put my life on the line for someone who would cheat on someone that they love so much?

He's like, hello, well, ding, that's the smartest thing you've ever said since you've been here. Congratulations. And I think we know the answer to that, which is yes, you will do that. And Sandevol is well. Yeah, of course I would never do this if there wasn't something here. Now let's just lower those lights a little bit more. So I just don't even see your face. Okay.

So Sandevol is like, I can't predict the future. Okay, like who to say? Like maybe they'll work out, like things will work out like we're killing it. Like maybe they won't. Like when I kiss Rick Hell, like I felt hope felt hope okay like your best days aren't behind you you no longer have to be in a relationship with just like a girl with a bangin body with amazing face super great personality who's like smart and the only one that like everyone just seems to really like on the show. Those terrible dark days are over.

He goes, maybe I'm not washed up. LOL. Not as much as you're about to be. Don't you have to be somewhere to be washed up? Don't you have to be in the water to get washed up, right? I feel like that's, it's implying he was like an A-list start at some point, which he was not. Oh, he's going to be one of these this whole life.

He's like, oh yeah, when I was on tour. Oh. So, Raquel gonna be one of these this whole life. He's like, oh yeah, when I was on tour. Oh. So, Raquel says we fucked up because yeah, we did fuck up. He's doing that flirtatious thing. We're like, what a fuck. And she's like, could a shit a wooda? And he goes, would a could a shita? And she's like, oh yeah.

No, she had it right. Does anybody fuck your correcting somebody? Now you idiot. This is the whole, well, this is, no, she had it right. Does anybody fuck your correcting somebody now, you idiot? This is the whole, this is the whole crux of it. He wants to be the one to correct somebody now, you know? And he's wrong. There's also like, I don't feel like there's any real strong way to say that expression.

Like, I think whoever comes out with it, whoever says like, coulda woulda, shoulda, woulda, shoulda, coulda, whatever. You just go with it. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, actually, they both got it wrong. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. You just, with it. They should have cut a wooder, actually, they both got it wrong. It should have cut a wooder. You just, I would never correct someone.

I just would be like, okay, that's the order that you chose to make that expression and I will move forward. But he's with somebody on purpose that he can now correct because he is sick of being corrected. You go Tom, Tom's big day, I'm gonna correct someone now.

You're saying, what a cutishitta, wrong? Should have what a cut is shit or wrong shit of what a cut are you fucking Okay, so then Rekel's like if we could do it over and because I would do a lot of things over like you Over and over and Like and then it goes to black and it says after filming this scene Rekel turned off her phone and was not seen or heard from four weeks. So now we go over to Villarisa.

Ariana comes over and Lisa's like, darling I'm up here. I'm like, could you go down and greet her in their foyer? Please Lisa, for granted, this lady has just gone through like a traumatic break. I can't you go downstairs. I'm just posed Puffy for the scene darling. Please come on. Yeah.

So she does and she stops in her arm. And she's like, oh, Arianna. And Arianna just sits right next to Puffy who's waiting for her to sit on the couch. And so she's like, are you feeling stronger at all? Darling, it's been what? Two, three days. Let's see. My follow account has been going up for 71 hours, three days. I'm just pretending to not know exactly how much time it's been. Yeah. So Ariana is like, well, I've been like trying to like lean into my anger because the only thing that keeps me from dry heaving

I don't know and she's like, oh, it's not a consolation at all, but None of us expected this thing like when did this start? When did your little wings break off my dear broken Sparrow the web of deceit and it's shorts now how many people have been broken by this can they all fit in this room? She's like, I don't know it took to for today until Shorce even reached out to me and it was just a bunch of words that don't mean anything and he said something like he doesn't want to kick us, Fred while he's down. Well, he's not down, so kick him. And she's like, oh, he deserves a good kicking. And from what I've heard, she's gone completely into hiding. She hasn't spoken. I hope she hasn't lost her voice.

Just kidding. I can tell you where Raquel is. She's in this cabinet magic. So, so, I ran as like she should. She should move to another state and change her name back to Rachel or come up with some some other name that she can fake because she will not be welcome in this town again. Yeah. And, yeah. So Lisa's like, well, from what I knew of Raquel, I didn't think she was capable of being that secretive or sneak him, she's very dumb girl, very, very dumb.

So Ariana's like, well. From what they've, oh, sorry. No, no, no, it's fine, go ahead. From what they've told me, the physical connection wasn't there where it should have been. And then along comes this beauty queen that's clearly up for it. It was too much to resist, so I said you can have him. Oh, I will retake his your voice, your voice, your voice.

I mean, what a week for, what a time for a new little mermaid to become a talk about poor unfortunate souls. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's just like I hate him so much and she's like, you know, that's normal That's normal darling, but you're going to get through this hold on. Let me look like I'm crying to It's going to be difficult and it's gonna take some time But you will get through it and on the other side is a job in the garden of Sir, oh come on Lisa still you're still putting me back there. I don't want to work back The back bar the garden darling waiting for you your wing will be a little bit rough A little limpie darling when you fly, but you will no longer be a broken bed come to Pulling out little tiny bits of her hair and putting them in jars as she hugs her So then we got a Katie's apartment and Schwartz arrives and Katie's apartment remarkably,

much, much, much cleaner than Schwartz's, like orderly put together. At least at the very least we know she had the sense to say, oh, those cameras coming in here, I better make it look nice. So he brings the dogs in and she goes, oh my God, so fluffy. And he goes, yeah, fresh from the salon.

She's like, I mean you, are you having a lot of sodium? What's wrong with you? What do you smell like yesterday? What's going on? And he's like, well, I just had the most insane morning. Can I have a coke? Oh my God, how's Ariana doing?

Relatively speaking, I mean, I sent her a text. It was long. I just feel so bad the way. Oh God, I'm gonna, I'm gonna just, you know, move my leg up and down really fast right now, not look you in the eye. Okay, we're gonna have the scene, aren't we? She's like, Tom, how long did you know? Okay, it's like, oh, I didn't, I, uh, you know, I didn't mark on my calendar, I mean, uh, I guess, uh, I guess, sand of all told me like, a month ago to two weeks ago, to six months ago. But I think it was like a month ago, it goes, no.

No, it did, it, she's like, I don't believe that. No, for real, Katie, for real, that's what it is. She's like, mm, she's like, they've always had each other's backs. So now we roll the footage, the beautiful bean footage of the Tom's covering for each other. Yes. And then she's like, there are each other's, disgusting lovers. And she's like, you made a comment to me in October that was very telling. You said she's not following us around for me. Trust me, he goes, I didn't say that, come on. I guess you 100% did, he goes, no, he told me a month ago,

and I told him what to do, and that's the truth. She says, I know for a fact, his ego wouldn't take you trying to hook up with this girl all summer long. And he's like, I wasn't trying to hook up with her. And she's like, he was pretending while he was fucking her all along. And he's, I'm be-no, I'm be-nounced to me. He's like, so, so he's like, why did you,

why didn't you like encourage him to do something about this? He goes, Katie, do you know how hard this should have been for me to process? I mean my whole reputation is solid completely over this my reputation the guy who swam in a river right before his wedding My reputation is being damaged. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm more than a bar She goes so you did know and And he goes, nah, I didn't even limit any information. She goes, oh, exactly. So you don't get, so why don't you get on the right side of things

and tell everyone the truth for once. And then the stage directions say, menacing music plays. It's like, I love that they have like a whole playlist for Katie. Menacing music. It's a Katie scene. So he's like, who was just the one I stand? But then that was around September. Oh my god. But then I was like, who was just a one-night stand? But then that was around September.

Oh my God. But then I was like, oh, it's disgusting. Oh God, how could you justify it? And then he was going to talk to Ariana. And then it didn't work. And then he was going to make it work. But then he changed his mind. I didn't know what to do.

And she was like, well, why didn't you tell him to do something about it? And he's like, Katie, this is my bar. She goes, fuck the bar. He blew up his life. And he goes, I know, but she goes, you've been his bitch boy for how many years now?

And he's like, oh my god, I'm not his bitch boy. I'm your bitch boy. I'm your bitch boy. I'm just a dude trying to get by in life. I'm just a cute dude trying to get by in life. And you know what? I got, you know, I got a lot of my mind, my health, my wealth, my family. I mean, there's man eating crocodiles in Florida now

Like I hate to break it to you though What what is it not man? That is the line of the episode that is the line of the episode free he goes I've got a lot of my mind my health my wealth my family There's a fucking man eating myl crocodile in Florida right now. I hate to break it to you. I think I've been watching for 4 times. I'm pretty sure there've always been man eating. I hate to break it to hilarious. She's like, you sound like a country song.

Oh my god. So then we go to Ariana's kitchen where she's like somebody's died. She's got her whole kitchen is covered in flowers that people have sent. And she's just like sniffing them and just kind of enjoying all the gorgeous flowers, you know. And then we see the slideshoes, like the Adidas slides. Puff, shuffle, puff, shuffle, shuffle. So you're like, is this a drunk like back lady? Who is this? Shuffle, shuffle. And like, is this a drunk like back lady? Who is this?

Shuffle. Shuffle. And if camera slowly comes up, go go. Go go. That's the triumph and return of Kristen. And she's like, seriously? Seriously? I'm here.

So she's like, oh my god, you look like so skinny. She's like, what, Ariana's like, well, I have an eating show. We'll drink lots of water, get lots of electrolytes. I've been through this process before. I'm your stand of all due love right now. So, she gets, do you want some water or something? She's, I'm like alcohol. I think you're a ex boyfriend or not.

I'm like after, like, I need to drink after hearing about you. I'm like, I'm all right. And she goes, you mean also your ex boyfriend? She's like, ew, she is our ex-boyfriend Kristen, and they hug and laugh. And then we see the clip of back in the day when Kristen's going, oh, so, oh, so it's okay to fuck around with other people's boyfriends,

and she's like, um, I wouldn't call it fucking right. Oh, okay, so you're saying it's okay to hold couple of other people's boyfriends, is that what you're saying? It's okay to hold couple of other people's boyfriends, I'm saying. Well, he told me that you guys were breaking up. Don, did you tell him we were breaking up?

Good luck, Ariana. Good luck. You and Ariana, you and one rewerent Thomas every night, when you text him, you and not being sure if he's ever telling the truth, and you and sharing a bed with the best liar I have ever known, Marry Post Out. Kick off! So Ariana's like my manager texted me that us weekly reached out and that Tom's camp is saying our relationship was one of companionship and convenience and not romance. And Kristen's like, basically, he's basically comparing it to the joke of relationship I

had with him. That was convenience. That was convenience. And I heard him saying that, yeah, they convenience and I heard I'm saying that yeah They kissed but she thought like it was an isolated thing what happened with her and Tom I guess with the kiss before while she was still with Kristen and You know he or she thought it was situation based like he fed her all these stories and now she's like oh no That's who this person is and it's really shitty. She starts crying

She's like it's really shitty that it took me like nine years to figure this out. And Kristen is you wanna burn some shit? Because like true crazy person. And true crazy person fashion. The craziest in the group always takes up crystals or cards or whatever meditation bullshit. We say it all the time and of course,

that's what Christians do. And by the way, it's like fucking love. I also saw a glimmer of like why Christian and James are drawn to each other because Ariana also says, you know, that was like nine years that I wasn't defending you for his sake and Christian goes, oh, bitch, push on me.

I was like, bitch, push. This is just like a nice correlation with the dun dun dun dun, the picket of this I got to ring dun dun, the love, bitch, push. This is like a nice correlation with that. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun Oh my god, hold on, I've got two big metal tweezers things. Look, I've got one of them here Ben. Hold on, let me see. Oh yeah, let me see your tweezers. Yeah, this, she had this. Do you see them?

Yeah, I do. She goes, dong, dong. She's doing like a, listen to this vibration. dong, and there he goes like, wow, wow. Okay. Well, ashes to ashes, and there he goes like, and dust to side checks. Whoa, seriously, okay. Well, ashes to ashes in Ariana's like,

and dust to side checks. Whoa, seriously, that was pretty cool. Yeah, it's Beyonce, you know, something that I did not, I never shared with the end of all. So they burn things up and they hugged, she's like, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life is beautiful, so slay remost, slay, cacka-haw! Seriously, seriously slay, seriously. Seriously slay remost slay cacah seriously seriously slay seriously slay so um that day was

battles but you don't have to do it alone is this song and it's raining then you want to tell us a rain story from that week no I don't but would you like to tell a story about how you ate snow in Texas? To say, my friend. So it's a rain day and the song's like, you're gonna make it. So SantaVall comes to LVP's house and he lets himself in and Rosio's like, uh, hello. And he's like, oh, sorry, I came in, it's raining outside. She has, yeah, it's a glass door. She's like, there's no frown. But you think this is a poor person's house? This is a canopy over there.

Like, don't worry. Fucking idiot. You'll be fine. You'll be fine in the rain, okay? So Lisa comes in and she's wearing all black. Lisa does not allow a sand of all upstairs. So the truth is, I was saying Lisa should come downstairs, but honestly, it's a sign of respect

that when you come to Villarosa, you were invited to the upper inner sanctum, the truth is, I was saying, Lisa should come downstairs, but honestly, it's a sign of respect that when you come to Villarosa, you were invited to the upper inner sanctum, the way Ariana was, but Tom is only allowed to the first, like Teddy Melon Camp sofas, right? Yes, he only gets into the waiting room. Yes, so the Melon Camp, the honorary historical site, Teddy Melon Camp, historical site.

The trial of Teddy melanchamp text messages Those that's what the surface are so Yeah, he comes in and She's like oh Tom Tom for you. I would sign but I'd really just like to say the word for you He's like thanks for seeing me, Robby, Tashik. Oh, well, I don't think this is a hug worthy moment to you. And the weather really sets the tone.

Don't you think all those ships crashing up against one each other? Oh, those crows. Those crows are so grumpy up there. What's the beautiful hand motion you're doing over there, Ronnie? I just know to say. It's a sense of call. You just see tentacles starting to rise slowly above her head. Who? It's quite tantric and sexy, sexy and ectentacles. Well, I know you want to see me and I've heard so much, but I don't understand, Ariana's been here. Holds she wanted was a little happiness, a little freedom, a little ability to walk around a certain town, on around, do your do-do. I didn't want to hurt her. And like, Ariana has had a hard time trusting people. Lisa's

like, oh, she's gonna have now. This isn't a trusting place when you've been sleeping with one of your best friends You know, she's not even nicker Lane just poor Raquel at least turn gay for a lane I mean at least fuck nicker Lane darling. I mean if you're gonna go run below that key our mosa please Come on. I love this Tom has all this time while they're reshooting this for somebody to tell them something decent to say and he keeps changing his tap, right? So, you know each each time he comes in with a different thing this time He's like I really wanted to tell Ariana, but I know that she has trust issues So me not telling I didn't want to hurt her and make her have more trust it

So now he's like every everything he tries is him being a good person instead of just saying, I mean, ah, so frustrating. I mean, so anyway. Too bad wait, to Recrell's tiny little smidgen of credit, at least Recrell said like, yeah, I just didn't have the willpower to stop. Like at least she said, I didn't have the willpower. She didn't say, oh, not a whole thing about how like, oh, I wanted to tell Ariana, but I could tell Ariana.

I want just like I couldn't stop. But by the sand of all, it's always like, oh, well, she has trust issues. She has trust issues. So I was really in the tough position here of having to try to navigate this affair, you know, it's ridiculous. I was doing it for you and then he says, oh, and you know, there's no way that we were gonna wait until the reunion, we would have told her before, because there's no way either one of us would be comfortable with her sitting there defending us the entire reunion, when we were doing that behind her back,

which is bullshit, when were you gonna tell her? This was right when the reunion was gonna fill. Wasn't this like a couple of weeks before the reunion was supposed to fill? Yeah, they filmed the reunion very quickly. It's like, hello sir, get to confessin. So they're like, yeah, we just like, we could felt like as a human being,

like none of us wanted to have Ariana defending us at the reunion, because that would just be horrible if she was in that position. And then it's like, cut to September 14th, 2022, Ariana saying like, I love Raquel, I love my boyfriend. They're so trustworthy. Everyone should love them, essentially,

is what she's saying. And he's like, yeah, I mean, she gets where it looks terrible in retrospect, home. And he's like, well, I would love to have that a conversation with her, but she's so angry. And he's like, I've been conflicted about being honest, because I just don't want to hurt Ariana more than I've already heard her. And he goes, and now, I don't know that I'm ever going to get the jab.

Oh, the time to hang it. I don't know. I just like, I'm Jesus Christ. He starts Gen-Shaw. I swear at Gen-Shaw. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And it looks, and it's not really working. He starts Gen Shaw. I swear at Gen Shaw. It looks like it's not really working. So then he gets up and he goes to the side and he goes against the window. He fun. So fun.

Very dramatic. You know, like, very theatrical on stage going for the Tony award performance there. Oh, he's so terrible. And he's doing, he's up against the glass window pushing in. And then he's wide that big, you know, at least a van or a person. So we're the shit in her house. She's got a pot that's like seven feet tall, as taller than a person.

And then it's got pink things coming out of it, like those big furry things. It's just kind of like a droop out of it. Like snuffle up a gussys, but they're all getting shades of pink. And he's like crying right in the middle of all these snuffle up a guss things. And she, you know, the minute he starts that fake sob

and she gives that look like, bro, can, bad. So she's like, oh, it's been too much, I know. And she tells us, I will not turn my back on stand of all. I would always condemn what he did, but they've all been guilty of things, maybe not at this level. But it brought me that giant fir tree thing that washed up whether it all twink is pretending

to sob into now. So I've got to be somewhat grateful, don't I darling? This disco home didn't build itself. So this is like, it's like, where do we go from here? He's like, well, I just want Arianna to be happy. I wanted to get the long that she deserves. And I want her to be so happy that I'm just gonna go on to like the Howie Mandel podcast and just explain why she was the cause of all this. I just want her to be the cause of what I have been.

She basically emotionally blackmailed me and threatened to kill herself if I ever did any things. So she does the whole, you're not at a bad she puts on her little none have it thing like season sarandon in that that serial killer movie uh... death dead man walking so it's called yeah she pulls her dead man walking she's like you're not a bad person to him you just did a bad thing

now remember that when i fuck heaven cost well well these are that was uh... that was a difference since the end of the movie. Alright, well either way. You're still hired for next season. Goodbye. Her catalog really provides a range of experiences that I enjoy. So that was happy hour at a bar. We're going over to Coenka Boulevard, the Grandmaster Records, which is also where Garsell and Erica had hot toddies, I believe, last season,

on Beverly Hills. In case they don't want it to connect the dots. And so they're at the happy hour, we got like a lot of the gang here, we got Lala and Katie, Lala's like, this is kids, this is cute and fun. And Charlie joins, it almost seems like for a moment, we're going to get a scene of like Charlie, what do you think? Because you're like, Raquel's friend and you defended her. But no, we don't get that. She's just there. Oh, Charlie's already shown her. She thinks on Twitter comes.

Yeah. Going, oh my god, Charlie was hilarious during this on Twitter. She was. So of course, La Leste does up in her sent it to Darrell. That's what sure is. She's so ridiculous.

So she was like, I brought my sister, I'll just get that merch through. So ridiculous. So she was like, I brought my sister to our call call because I don't want to be alarmed. Katie's like, okay. So Katie goes, are you okay? No. And so Ariana shows up in a revenge dress. You know, she's like my final scene of the season. I look fucking amazing and gold.

And the rest of them are in black all sad. So then Lala's like, I mean, how are you doing? And she goes, I just wanted to borrow Ariana tonight. I would not imagine that this would happen today. Hold on, let me suck in my bottom lip and then cross me a very long time to pick up the phone because as you know I physically cannot make our fist which is what you need to do to pick up a phone So once I finally got that my publicist told me that Raquel has filed for a temporary restraining order I added it to my special box. I keep temporary restraining orders in this was from Rob

This is this is this other one's from Rob too. This is a guy dated in like season four. I forgot his name. This one is from the penguin that I tried to give, that I tried to, Adam for that guy. That's Adam's penguin. Spot?

Adam's penguin got it. The probably restraining order on me. I tried to visit him at the zoo and the penguin just like up running away and going for a fish. I was like, excuse me. Because you know, she no takes that adoption very seriously. We had her father and I have broken up now. So I'm gonna write you a letter.

Here's what I've been doing. Good as gold. The penguin was like, leave me alone. Please. Ronnie, you know that we have a penguin? We sure do. I have the certificate here somewhere. Oh, okay, I was wondering.

That's just if you was someone I think in Minnesota adopted a penguin in our own. During that season, it was really wonderful. I know. We have a child together. We have a penguin. That's the thing. That's the thing.

Ronnie and I were in it for the long haul because we had a child. We have a married child. We have a child. You know what? If ever we have trouble in our relationship, we're like, let's stay together for the child. Let's think about the children. Let's think about our penguin. The poor penguin that we never visit. We also visit our penguin in the next time we go, when we go to Minnesota, we'll visit that page. Okay, okay. Yeah, I'll go, that will be so cute. We can hold hands and take pictures. So, um, Lala's like, I just want you to remember,

this is not you forever. This is like just you for right now. Send it to Darryl's on sale now at Lala.com. So, uh, she and I was like, I can't believe that this person I took under my wing. And then like, like, I was a mother to her. And then I like punched her. And believe that this person I took under my wing. And then like, I was a mother to her and then I like punched her. And now she's taking it to a legal level with her.

Yeah. I've been like a mom and a sister to that girl. Like I even showed her how to make her cramped up. And for her to do that to me, I mean, like if I could make a fist, I would make one and shake it. But all I can do is just do jazz hands. I'm sorry. So, Katie's like, you gave her a place to live, and she is like, no, I paid for!

And Charlie's like, this is like, a dimension, this is like a dark, and like at this point, it's like a dark. See you next season. That's her line for the night. So, Ariana's like, I can't wait to be light years away from this. And Katie's like, well, so I just saw Schwartz last night.

And like he swore it was like one time and never was gonna happen again. So he didn't think anything of it. And she's like, ugh. She's like, ugh, you know, like he just said that. And then he like let me go and like champion their bar, publicize it, go to opening bar night and everything. and acting like he's my friend when he knew about it Yeah, pretty shitty and Katie's like, oh by the way he's coming. It's coming by the way and so Schwartz comes in like

Hey guys, hi, whoa, whoa, and try to guess and then the devil walked in and goes, yeah, oh, Courtney, hi, Courtney, hi, Coco. And everyone just ignores him. And Ariana goes, I don't think anyone here wants to speak to you, so I guess you should probably ask me if I want to speak alone. Good. OK, do you want to get a drink? And she's like, sure.

So he's like, whoa, this place is so cool. I used to have a bar cocktail lunch too. And Lala goes, yeah, we're currently trying to blow that up. So, Lala was cracking me up all episode. That was great. I can't lie. I'm like, I feel like the last two or three episodes, I'm like thawing on, like Lala was driving me nuts all season.

But the past two or three episodes, I'm like, kind of, and I'm curious. Well, Lala has always been the best weapon when she's she's going against some of that you don't like. That's what that's always when we've cheered for Lala. Lala's first season was going against all the mean girls who were being fucking horrible to her. I mean, God, I will never forget how mean they were and she now tells us later again, reminds us, but yeah, they were going so hard and like when she's telling

somebody to fuck off the you really hate God, that's what she's for job at. She's a good at it. She's a really good at it. Also really good at narrating an Uber commercial. That's Uber Eats commercial, so good at that. Okay, I'll watch it, I'll watch it. I'll find the bravery to watch it.

It's, I mean, it is terrible. That's like a terrible commercial, but it's like one. No, the truth is, I was just, the truth is we were just running behind tonight. We're doing a late night recording and you were waiting for me and I was like, just, I was like, I wanna watch that, but I'm gonna get through my doubts, man.

Oh, so Ariana sits down with Shwar. I did it for you, man. Oh, for me. I did it for you. Okay, hold on, time check. I'm just curious. It's one hour and 55 minutes. Holy Jesus of Mother of God and Joseph.

What the hell is with these three hour recaps we're doing of this show? I know, we're going crazy. Well, we've got two more big scenes left of this episode. So, Arianna. I'm not a board or anything. I was just like, wow, I said late night recap. I'm not fucking kidding.

What time is it? It's one of the 19 for you right now. Yeah, for like 11, 19 for me. Yeah. So Ariana's like, oh my god, time's wrong. I'm like crazy. I physically cannot even go into a different time zone because of my nails.

So Ariana's like, can I start by saying something to your shorts? If I hear anything about Sandevol being down and you feeling bad for him, I'm just gonna like get up and walk away. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not here to advocate for him. Even though he is really down, I'm just like pissed at Sandevol and like, I feel like he exploited my kindness and like our business and like we put our hearts and souls in that business, which as we know is the biggest victim in all this. Yeah, so basically he's here to be like, listen, we're getting slammed by the public and our business is going down the drain and we really need you to say something or put out

something like, don't take it out on the business or go out on your Instagram and say, guys, this isn't the fault of the business or something. This is clearly what he's trying to do. At least some eyes, it seems like he's trying to do. Because he's not making Tom the victim, he's making himself. He's like, he exploited my kindness and you know, also our business that we put our heart and soul into just, yeah, well, he apologized to your business before he apologized to me, which was literally pathetic. And he goes, yeah, well, I'm not excusing that. It's just like, my partners are freaking out. I'm freaking out. The line cooks

are freaking out. They've been there three months now. This is crazy. And she goes, well, of course you're freaking out. And he goes, but people are boycotting us. And she goes, well, why would someone want to give money to that man? And it's a cab, but the thing is, like, we've built a little family in there, you know?

She goes, yeah, well, he fucked up your family. He didn't give a single flying fuck about your family about your fucking family. How does that feel? I was like, yeah! This was my favorite moment for her and this whole thing. When she's finally, it's like, here's this man, baby, crying and trying to be the huge victim and asking for her to pity him. And she's like, no. You fucking sat there and enabled this shit for months and you deserve every fucking thing you're getting, sir. Yeah.

With your sitting here crying, pretending like something's being done to you. She's also highlighting how thoughtless and of all was. Like, yeah, he did fuck up your family because he was only thinking about himself at that moment and she literally says, because like, what did he think was going to happen?

He was going to cheat on me and walk away on skate It's like oh, yeah, well, oh, well, I just wanted to come and look you in the eyes and just say our booth arrived But also I'm like really sorry for the soul thing and I'm not looking for sympathy here But I'm just being painted as a co-conspirator Conspirator and it's like fucking devastating to me. Don't be mad at me America Yeah, you are a co-conspirator, so fuck off. So, Ariana's like, um, well, I don't think

that you're that person, but I will not have mutual friends with him, so I'm not your friend anymore. My God. It's over. Which is kind of what actually what grandma did at the very beginning of the season, when she gathered everyone on the rooftop and said it's like it's their him or me And we're like wow law off, but now it's sort of like when Ariana does it. I'm like yeah

So sure see to she didn't give a choice She was like, okay everybody. Let's have a meeting here's a choice. You choose pickleball over me. She was like You're dead to me. She was like, you're dead to me, bye. Yeah, she was like, dude, I was always assured by him that he was handling and doing the right thing. Because I am not it, he's not handling it. I am not it. I was this fucking writer, Dai.

I defended him to you, even. And like to try and like, I was like trying to make him go five days without drinking, so he can get his firm tested. So we could have embryos, and because he really wanted that down the road, and I wanted him to have that, and I wish that I didn't miss him, but I really wish that I didn't miss him,

but I feel like what I miss is not real. Which is- So she's crying, right? And so he's uncomfortable, so he's looking way and doing his finger-tuing thing that Lala called him out on. He's literally chewing on his fingers. Oh, what a whus. So,'s uncomfortable. So he's looking way and doing his finger chewing thing that law I called him out on. He's literally chewing on his fingers Oh, what a worst. So love that. So then two weeks later

Shina is Riding she's reading a comment on patreon and it's like you guys like no one called me know now I'd like play lately obviously with their affair and you guys just didn't notice and broadcast who's saying that? She goes someone on patreon. Well guys, we know you're not geniuses all right. I thought you were saying that we're not geniuses. Oh, that would make more sense. I was like, damn, you're just coming for your Patreon people. It's like fucking stupid Patreon people.

I was like, well, take your Patreon people, go to watch a Grappin's Faith here on for this video recap. I mean, obviously we're not geniuses, cut to Brock eating cereal with a rolling pin. So she has like, well, she's a sand-of-all filing line text on me and said he wanted me to hear him out. And she gives just this hilarious backstory about it.

She's known him for like 14 years and she goes, when the show started, we were at our first up front in New York and I had like no friends there and I had sand-of-all and I just remember we were doing the red carpet and no one wanted me in the photos and I keep putting my hands on me and bull me and I was like no you're a part of this you're a part of this NBC universal comcast upfront experience you're with all of us getting the photo. You know honestly I didn't find that funny at at all. I thought it was so fucking sad. And she was like literally crying

because she still traumatized how those girls were to her in that first season. Cause it wasn't just, at first you made it sound like they were the ones who were asked to go to up fronts, right? So it's like, oh, it's just Tom and her. And she was felt lonely. But then they show us the whole cast who wouldn't even be with her,

who wouldn't even like take a picture with her after the whole season was done. God, those people revile. No, but all of those people. I just love that, that like so many formative memories for Gina are wrapped up in things like going to the NBC UpFrance in 2013. And being proud at the time. But I did think that too, though. By the way, I just, just so you know, I actually thought that too. I was like, damn, they ever mean to her even at even at the upfront. Wow, this was a beautiful cast. And people ask where so much of my residual anchor comes from.

It's this, it is porcina crying right here right now people. This, I rest my case, okay. This was my witness. Thank you, she might. And I earned it, maybe seated. The irony that she forged a friendship with Tom Tandival at a place called upfronts.

I know. Also, I'm sorry, I would say place case closed and then bing a gavel, but unfortunately, I can't make a fist around the gavel because it's physically impossible, so I'm just going to have to say court dismissed. I'm just going to clap on top of the gavel and you'll have to pretend that's the hammer hitting. That I can do. That's the hammer hitting the desk. That I can do. So, then knock, knock, brock's on here we go. So Sandivall's like, hey guys, and he comes in with a big box.

And brock's like, oh, what's this? And he's like, I don't know, it was outside. Yes, I know. Yeah, you know what, Sandivall does, I would say in your image rehabilitation, bring little gifts when you go and do your apology to her because it's so funny, it's like the Kizx, Sina ordered.

And Brock's like, all right, well, I'm gonna take summer to the park. All right, well, tough one you put us in, bro. All right, gonna let you have a chat. All right, just some random Brock disappointment as he leaves. Thanks for that, Brock. So, Sheena is crying, and you know it's so funny because I think I also notice how she's

doing that thing with her face because I apparently wrote down in my notes, Sheena is crying like a sock puppet. She's like, So she's, so Santa Claus crying. I'm just gonna say, I'm like really sorry to like Ariana, but also like to you and like to the things that I send to you that night. Like I feel like really mad that night.

Because apparently, he acted like our friendship with nothing and he made comments like we're not even friends and like I'm no one to you. And he goes, this is like when I turn 40, I had like spiritual awakening. Like I was gonna break up with Ariana regardless. And she's like, uh, this is like when I turn 40, I have the like spiritual awakening. Like, I was gonna break up with Ari on a regardless. And she's like, ah, you didn't. You slept with your best friend instead. Ha.

I've known you for 13, 14 years, but I don't know you. Like the person, I know, wouldn't do this. The person six years ago that said he didn't have sex in Miami, which by the way, I knew it was true. And here we go at the classic. We had sex. We had sex. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. sex in Miami, which by the way, I knew it was true. Yeah, then we got the classic. We had sex. We had sex. No, we didn't.

No, we didn't. We had sex. And Santa Vogue goes, Arnana has always known the truth about that. Which sounded pretty much like an admission from Tom San de Valle, right? Yeah. She's like, so whatever, the Miami girl, this is the first time you've averaged it, because you're talking to Shina. Her original plotline on this show was banging a guy who was going through his middle

age crisis. You really think you're going to get some pity from her over this? You know, she's been roasted over this for years. So then he says there was one other time that he cheated too. And she goes, oh my God, you were sick. And she kind of laughs. And she's like, was it a rando? And he's like, no, he goes, yeah. Well, mo, I mean, that's not fair.

I'm not gonna go into it because like things with Ariana and I have not. So as somebody thing, it's somebody else in their circle that he doesn't want to. Ariana, Andy Cohen, ask Ariana on what happens live about this. And she said it was someone they all, you everyone like that Andy knows, they all know,

but not part of the Vanderpump Rules world. Whatever that means. So it was like a Bravo person probably, but that from their actual, so it wasn't like Billy Lee, because I don't think it was Billy Lee. We didn't even talk about that. You know, so much of this plot,

we've seen play out already. So it's almost anti-climactic in a way, isn't it? Because we already know all this stuff, but it could be Billy Lee, because if Ariana says this person's not part of the Vanderpump rules world, maybe she's being a literalist because Billy Lee's not on the show anymore.

Like no longer. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, but yeah, we didn't even talk about that part, but yeah, I know. So, um, uh, Sina, let's see, blah, blah, blah. So he's like, we haven't been good for a long time. It doesn't matter, Tom, like he still doesn't understand. It's not that you broke up with Ariana.

No one would give a fuck if you guys broke up. It's what you did and how you did it and who you did it with. Exactly. And then you're still pretty kind of blaming Ariana for it. So she's like, why won't you buy a house with her? So he goes, because I felt like it brought us closer together. Like, it felt like a band-aid, like, but how do I end in relationship? I was like, really? Like, you can't be cliche enough. You bought a house together because you thought

it would solve it. I mean, and then not only did you buy a house with her, but you took out a huge loan against that house that she owned while you wanted to break up with her. Like, it just gets worse, you know? And then she's like, and then of course, again, it's a new scene where he comes in with a new tactic, right? And now he's gonna really go over the top because nothing has worked really with anybody. So she goes, then you be in a dumb,

you're a hyper conversation with her and it goes, I tried to, she's writing a fucking killer self. Which is gotta be the lowest thing he's done so far, right? I mean out of all of the things this is the fucking lowest it is when I heard him say shit like that on how he Mandel My head popped off that day. I think my head popped off. It's and it almost popped off today Even not even though I knew it was coming. I know it. I love she knows response She's like well, then you know what you do you fly in ton. Yeah, you bring over Jeremy

You have all our friends there right around right around her. Like, we're doing now, like, you're literally saying, I'm leaving, I'm not happy. And then we pick up the pieces and then you left, like, you don't fuck her friend because the truth is, like, he's still in the same place as he would have been. If he had just broken up with Ariana. And I think that was like, I, this, this, it's just bullshit on his part, huge bullshit about, like, oh, you're like from an outside, a POV, it's like easy to say I should have broken up with her. But like, emotionally, it's like a climbing Mount Everest,

you know, because I love Ariana. So I want to look out for her. I don't want to hurt her. Like, you're sleeping with your best friend. You haven't, you're having a love affair, you're having an active relationship. So she's like, well, I don't know where we go from here because I honestly were like not friends anymore

because I can't support anything you've done anymore. And so she starts to cry and she goes, I'm really gonna miss you. And like, I know you don't deserve any friends, but like, I need to go make my baby dinner. Okay, I'm making baby until I'm out of tonight. So it's like, I guess I'll leave. Can I take this box? It looks really good.

So this goes out. So he starts leaving and he gets, I'm sorry, as he leaves. And then it says, stage direction. She blows raspberry. And that's how it ends. And it ends. I was left like, what the fuck does that mean?

I was kind of a little shocked that this is how the episode ended. I was like, okay, now here comes, cause I watched this, I watched the show without seeing like how far along we were. I just was like I'm gonna be in it. I'm just gonna go, I'm not gonna count how long, how much time has left.

And then it ended. I was like oh, oh okay. But wow, that was- I was wondering a little why it ended with Sheena too, but if you think about it, you know she explained that they were the friends longest, but also Sheena too, but if you think about it, you know, she explained that they were the friends longest, but also Sheena is the most forgiving out of everybody on the show. And at the end of the day, Sheena is the core of the show because she does really like

everybody, like she always tries to even when she does like this season, she's sick of Katie's bullshit, but she's still at her core, wants to be friends with Katie. Think you think? I think Shina just wants everybody to like her and they just never have. And ultimately, like when even Shina is like, you're dead to me. Like you are, you're we're done. I don't think we've ever seen that from Shina. And that I think was the ultimate ending.

I was like, by you've pissed off even Shina to the point of no return, sir. Wow. Yeah, I was sort of weird because I don't think there were any position that they could craft a decent ending for this. It's so Ron, so fresh, you can't put something uplifting because that feels fake. Like, I thought they were gonna do something

where they would sort of, they would show somehow, they could all the great cool things that Ariana's doing, like going to the White House and like going, not having a Bloomingdale shoot being a lifetime with all these things that are coming her way now. I thought they might do some sort of like montage of that. I would have liked them to see, like show the Tom Sandeval

or show the post that Rachel Recalput out about mental health awareness day and then seeing that she was really at the Miraval spa and then seeing Tom just being chased and hiding his face and looking methodier and methodier and his hair getting strawier and strawier. And then you see Rikkel hiding at the Miraval but even people there hate her.

And then you see Arianna at the White House and you see Arianna getting her own solo and you see Arianna like getting her own solo on watch her happen. You know, all the kind of ending and then it just ends with Tom drinking a 40 out of a paper bag in front of a 7-Eleven, like singing, you know, you know, an Africa. An Africa.

To somebody for dollars. Yeah, that would have been Africa, total. That would have been good too. But like, yeah, it was just him walking out the door. I was, they didn't even give him like a cinematic, like driving off into the, I won't say a sunset, because it was probably raining, but driving off into the rain, you know,

like there goes his car. You'll never forget it. And that's the end. So I remember, then I remember that specific day. There was raining. And it sat. It was raining, it was a rain, because there was a leak and I had to deal with it. Oh

Yeah, you actually did have like serious trauma on this rain day. It wasn't just like the regular LA person. I lost because I was I'm in the same way when I lived there, you know, you you forget what it's like the rain trauma But you really did have I lost power I had a leak I was freezing you and I got sick because of it Ben and I've been teasing you this whole time is just like a general LA joke, but I forgot your trauma that day. I was talking about you in a polygy.

I'm sorry. I can't believe it. I love you, Ben. It's like I tried so hard to express myself to you. And you were just like me, front of me, like you's on the line. I was. I'm sorry that wasn't the right time to be making fun of you.

You can make fun of me, I think brain and LA is always good to make jokes for. No, but that was like, oh, it was raining that day. You're like, oh yeah, I want you talking about some more. And I was like, oh, okay, wow. No, because I was joking in the beginning about how LA people when it rains, everybody's traumatic about it for like a month.

And so I was just making jokes on that. I wasn't literally saying you were like that. But now that I think back, yeah, that was when you're rooflessly can you lost your power for like days and you had to go stay in a hotel. You had to go to a hotel. Oh, that was bad. Yeah, I'm really, I'm such a fucking asshole then. I'm so sorry. You think like a best off of what we just talked about that you think this counts as being an asshole is making a joke about rain and we're talking about a guy who's throwing you know someone's mental health in her face while cheating on her best friend no you know you're gonna make everyone nervous you're gonna make

everyone nervous that we're gonna fight I know I know people already were you would know by the way you would know you wouldn't just sense it you would fucking know because you think you would know because I'm the biggest bitch in the world and that's true Like I can't hide it when I'm at bank account hide when he's mad either, okay? You would definitely know from both of us. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, but also yeah, you know, yeah, but also Just a quick note, you know, this has been such a fun show to recap for 10 years and, you know, we come on here, we make all these jokes. This really is just fucking sad and it was hard to watch. And some of the shows we do are so much fun.

This one is usually fun. Last week's live show was so much fun. This recap was, it's always fun in a way, but God, this is fucking dark. This was rough to watch and I'm so glad that the season is done. Like I'm having fabbit. I thought it was a fan, that's the answer. I thought it was a fan, that's the answer. I thought it was a fan, that's the answer.

It was a fan, it was actually like, the ripping television, I was watching, I was like, this is crazy. I actually felt like I was partaking in a pop culture event. You know, I was watching this live. Like I got on and I watched this live and I felt like, not only did I watch it,

Dom pulled up a chair and watched with me. He doesn't like this show and he watched with me and like it felt like a thing. It's just such an exciting thing to tune in with what feels like the whole country to watch something unfurl. It was like, but that's not why I loved it, but that was an interestingance layer effect.

But I thought it was very gripping. It was raw. And I think it produces a great job and piecing this together. And I think it was, by the way, a fantastic season with like lots of cringy moments. And I think it was fantastic, not only because they did a good job with the show,

but it really was one of the most unique viewing experiences we've had with one of these shows where we are given one narrative, dealing with another narrative that's unfurled in real time and having to navigate between the two both as viewers and in our case as recapers as well was really fascinating, tricky at times,

but pretty incredible. Yeah, good season. Well, everybody, thank you so much for being with us this whole time. And guess what? It's not over. There's still a month of reunion festivist to come. So, we will be back doing this. Hopefully we get to do another live show. One, at least one more Vanderpump rules live show out there. And this has been great.

Thanks for being with us on demand. Everybody who's out there watching and supporting us that way. And we love you guys. We will talk to you God tomorrow. I got top chef. Did you mean to upstage top chef your entire life? You fucking weathered ass aged ass leathery ass twink with dried ass. Hi chef. Happy hair. Hi chefs. please throw Tom Sandivall into a blast chiller. Thanks, bye! Bye everyone! Bye-o!

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin

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