Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Sur Wars - The Last Jax Lie?

Episode Date: December 13, 2017

Epic revelations happen on this week's "Vanderpump Rules." First we learn the truth behind Faith's allegations. Then we meet Stassi's boyfriend. What a crazy time to be alive. Come listen to our recap of it all! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens, would like to think it's premium sponsor! Can't have a burger without Megan Burg, Cindy Burgess Gerson, what an amazing person! Just saying, okay, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go HIGHLOW. And Kristi D'Aurry, the OG Prem-Supreme.

Plus our super premium sponsors, Kelly Grant, The Grant Master, and Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother fucks. Watch what crap ends, watch what crap ends. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? What happens? What happens? What happens when there's so much that happens?

What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch or crap ends. The podcast that all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelger from bsidelog.com and the banter blender. And joining me I blog dot com and the banter blander and joining me as always on this wonderful Tuesday in December is As a man who will always be honest. I'm sure is

Ronnie Karen from trash talk tv dot com and Rosebrook's special podcast. I'm having a hard time remembering what we're all from today. Yeah, what the hell do you have? Are you forgetting that you are my boy friend and you're supposed to love me? Gangley come out from under the bed. He's done yelling at me now Man, I think it's because maybe I'm out of it because I didn't have I like rush back here from the gym I didn't have time to go to Starbucks to get a cold brew But there was a bodega near me. So I went in there and they have these bottled Starbucks cold brews and I'm drinking out of it and it tastes crazy. I'm like what did they put on like an I'm crazy in a bad way not like whoa I'm amped up. I'm like

I'm disturbed. Oh no that you're gonna be going fucking crazy in a bad way, not like, whoa, I'm amped up. I'm like, hmm, I'm disturbed. Oh no, you're gonna be going fucking crazy in about 10 minutes. You're gonna turn into crack head bin. And I can't, I'm here for that. I don't know, is it the straw maybe? Hey, let me drink it. It's the chemicals.

It's all the chemicals they put in there. It's so weird. It doesn't taste like alcohol, bro. It tastes like strained. It tastes like I'm drinking melted plastic. Well, you kind of are. I mean, those chemicals in that food, I'll tell you. Yesterday I went to Chile and I was like, can I have a doctor

paper? Because you know, I'm in Texas, so I drink that with every meal. And they brought it, including my wine. And they brought it to me. And it tasted like chlorine. I guess they just cleaned the machine or something. And I was like, you know what? I'll drink it because I'm an American and if you give me a glass of chlorine, I just think, well, it's clean and the pooled it is must-domic, right, Mass? Thank you. Yeah, thank you.

Exactly. Yeah, now I give this Starbucks cold brew, bottled Starbucks cold brew, a very negative grade, but I'm going to drink it anyway because I want my caffeine. Yeah, it's most important. Does crack taste good? No, you know people do it so they can sing like Whitney Houston. Just That's right. Exactly. I'm feeling crazy. I'm still in Texas and I'm gonna have a heart attack. My Apple watch keeps going off like buzzing me like Uh-oh, your heart rate is in danger zone and it's it's basically because of your heart rate is in danger zone and it's basically because of uh... doctor pepper it's everywhere i turn and i can't stop drinking it do you ever go to do oh my god my my phone just a spot hands start making noise did you hear that what was that

what was it what was it what was it what was it what brought up it was a podcast that i had been listening to you and i said the gym but like the my headphones are in there I wasn't touching my phone. It just someone was like, I wanna play the podcast again. Well, my father has learned what Mercury and Retrograde means, but he doesn't really say it, right? He's like Mercury Retro-Havla. And I'm like, what is he talking about?

I thought maybe it was a beauty queen, a new song on the Christian radio, I didn't know. But finally I figured out he was saying Mercury in retrograde, which he's like very Christian. So it's crazy for him to believe in that. Well, it's crazy for him, you know. And he's like, it's true, everything's going nuts. All my electronics are going crazy, and then my sister's like, it is true,

and then her car battery died, and her phone kept turning on and off. So maybe you just got a little mercurator call. Yeah, I think so maybe. But it's actually good that my phone made that noise because we just got a message. Someone Meredith asks, hey Ben and Ronnie, just checking in.

Is the Thursday, January 18th shown Boston really at 8 a.m.? I mean, I'm not opposed to working a half day to be among people who understand why I love saying, I got your keys, but I figured I would check. It is not at 8 a.m. I don't even know where you pulled the 8 a.m. from, maybe it's on their website or maybe it's on our website. It's not at 8 a.m. You know, it was maybe Mertith Hurd saying the tickets go on sale at 8 a.m. Pacific, but either way on the show I believe is at 7.30 p.m. on the 18th. I don't know, double check our website, but this is a great segue into

mentioning, hey yo, tickets for Boston are still on sale for January 18th. If you want to be with your Boston Peeps, come to the show and then you can talk about Tom Brady and The socks and chowda and baked beans the revolutionary war we can do it all at the Boston show on Hakikon hava diad Hakikon hava diad Yeah, Hakikon hava diad Blan about Chazelle Jink cell although she's no longer a jink cell Boston is free of the jinks is except until we come and then you guys are Jinks again

Yeah, Boston people There's a second show so go buy tickets for that DC sold out New York is sold out Chicago those tickets are still going on Houston We announced yesterday. We're gonna do dinner party from hell at Houston, Allison Dubois I know exactly when we're gonna be doing a concert and I love that about ourselves. I know that suckers. Know that. Go get those live show tickets.

Detroit. This tour is going to be so much fun. We're not stopping until 2019. So because yeah, we have so many things up now. So Detroit, Boston, DC sold out, uh, New York is sold out, but then we're still doing Philly, Boston, and somewhere else I forgot. Ben and Taylor.

We're not doing Philly. We're doing, what are we doing? Story. Story. Detroit Houston, New York. I can't keep track Chicago, but we have some other things on the horizon though, so that's the fun part. Yeah, so just check those out at watchwetcrapins.com. All the ticket

links are there. And today is a very exciting day because it is episode two of 97 of Vanderpump rules. This is going to be the longest season of Vanderpump rules ever. We heard they got a 24 episode pickup before they were even done shooting 12, which means three reunions at least, which means 27 episodes. So Buckleman, Jacks has a lot of scabs just spread around this season. And you know what I love about the idea of Vanderpump Rules 24 episode pickup is that it makes me think that it wasn't picked up for 24 episodes. They were picked up for an episode that's going to be shot in the style of 24.

or picked up for an episode that's gonna be shot in the style of now. Oh, no jack's got to do the hard perimeter open a socket These terrorists are difficult like they're really hard to deal with a lot harder than shame Dude Jack's got to the perimeter dude like all right. What's got to side on jacks. I got a side on him. No, he's gone dude Darling, I promised the president I wouldn't help you with your clandestine jacks capturing operations But I'll do it anyway keep it to secret Just out here. Oh watch So could Dicta I eat a dick Diana just like the random terrorist So, could Dick die? You'd have Dick died, no.

It's just like the random terrorist, Kristen. Kristen's like the random terrorist. He's killed on episode three. And then we're like, it wasn't the Christians. It was really the Russian. Exactly. Christians like the primary threat that happens in like the first four episodes was like,

I have a nuclear bomb, it's named Carter. We're gonna set it off. And then she gets killed and like, wait a second. It was jammed. She gets, she's one of the ones who gets like shot and deliver or something so it takes her while to leak out all the shiner That's been and she's just like I thought they were a great couple Stasi I have I have a meeting with you and your secret contact can you go meet your secret contact that a secret contact Who does that? Seriously?

undercover a aaf. Yes, Dossu would be the key for 24. They'd be like, darling, why did you impair someone? Cut off his head and put put the head on a stake right in the middle of your living room. You're supposed to be a secret agent, darling. I've always like wanted to do that aaf. Like literally, I was shipped off to China for two seasons, and now I'm back with a beard a-a-f. I'm so undercover. She just keeps kicking the jaguar that's chasing her. Well, you know the witnesses, James.

I don't know anything. I swear, I don't know anything. Boom, boom. Oh, okay. I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything, but I want protection. I can't offer you that. No, well, I can't say anything.

Okay, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Just give me my geek back at pump Leave it up to James to be the only person on this gas to using protection He's like I won't speak I will not speak I will not tell the truth if I didn't have a period. Oh So okay, thanks for listening everybody that was basically basically today's show. Kingsley is still under the bed. Britney's caught in a cuckoo trap. So the episode opens up with Gina. We're still back at Gina's party. And everyone's like outside talking about the fate situation like jacks, what did you do jacks, etc etc etc and they're all like jacks, I didn't do anything.

I didn't do anything. I just went, why is everyone saying all this stuff? And I just like at least the Vaterpump just meanders through with her giant feather matches. I know we've all taken a warm mass to discuss this but I spent $250 on this and I should keep it on and walk through gracefully. How fitting. I'm walking through a cast of nightmares as a mama bird. Let all the broken birds see a perfectly, but we're put together bird. Here I come. Cock, I don't.

Go. Cock, I have sent cock, Mr. Jacks Taylor will not pull one over on me. She said Mr. Jacks Taylor 30 times like she was trying to get him to sign a real estate lease. I don't know what the fuck she was trying to do. But it's when he's in trouble it's always I will not fall for Mr. Jack Taylor's high jinx.

He sounds like a crafty fox. Also I have to note in the beginning since I can only notice one new thing a week, because I'm not pressing pause. Brittany is opening, her swinging, her hair like way back, because she's got like, she's got like 20 foot long extensions, you know? And all I could think of, Brittany is so nice, they just let her get hair and everybody's drinks. Like, there's no way that that hair is not all over those glasses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm okay with it. Yeah, she's a hair nut. Yeah, it's like white rain darling. Would you like a white rain teeny darling? White rain. So, Cena, Tom number one's like, Well, I don't leave it now.

What's going on? And Tom number two is like, well, my instinct is to defend jacks. But you know, I can't get my eyes out of his head. He's like, that's because your mask is on top of your head staring at the ceiling. Brow. Tom and Tom's love has grown so strong this easy. It really has. It really has as evidence later this episode. So, jacks, you know, Jack's, as he would, this is why Jack's will never be a fireman

because he'll be like, Jack's LA is burning down and he's like, okay, I'm gonna get some shots. So, Brittney's like outside having a fit and Jack's is doing shots, okay? So, Shina comes up to him and she's like, what is he gonna run? And he's like, someone said I fucked faith and she goes, and you dad, and he's like someone said I fucked faith and she goes and you dad and

And he's like what the hell what could you be on my side? Could you be on my side and then it cussed a Brittany like I'm taking the Doubts, Jay Yeah, and meanwhile Faith is talking to Kristen and telling Kristen that Jack's had been lying to her face and You know and fake faith is then faith goes to Lisa and tells Lisa that she can prove that she's telling the truth about Jack's been lying to her face and you know and fake faith is then faith goes to Lisa and tells Lisa that she can prove that she's telling the truth about Jack's and but I love is that everyone keeps going to Lisa and apologize. I'm so sorry Lisa.

So sorry we're so sorry. I'm like don't apologize to her. This is her show. She loves this shit. No kidding. She's like outside counting dollar bills. Yeah. And faith is like, I promise you mama bird.

I'm telling you the truth. Have a little faith. That hasn't everybody had a little faith That's the problem faith gets it everybody get it Everyone get it. We're doing open comedy night open my ignite at sir coming up I never believe anything that starts with I heard because the most part it's not true But when it comes to Jack's Taylor it's true I heard it. I never trust I heard because usually there's a shepherd to say that and frankly who trusts the shepherd. I didn't ask what

you do. What would you like to order? The warm potato salad or the gigantic charred salmon? What's his, Mr. Sheeperda? The only I've heard, I trust, is when you say, I've heard the food at Sir Inspector Kula. Now, we want a rather soup. soup. Chef Joe, do we have any sort of red meat on the menu? Good job, Chef Joe, wonderful. Like I love their her standards are so low. Do you like to look see the kitchen windows? She's like hello Chef Joe, are you breathing? All right, we're ready to go. Oh, and another night it's uh uh. It reminds me that we do something in it is special. It's uh we we have these things called specials, and there are different tish-lets, not on the main menu, but available on certain evenings.

That's why they're called specials. We just like to shake it up a bit. And as we're talking about tonight, the Christians coming in, then it's a different kind of special. We no longer say the awkward I've been here for the all community for decades Where's my parade oh By our word do you mean really really seriously?

Guess we'll leave the of course Lisa who will never work for fucking 911 hey we're dying my husband just got shot he's dying on the driveway well you never know you know it's a night time when shooting's happen these things happen just calm down and have a nice tea why would anybody go to Lisa for help? Cause Brittany's like, I'm sorry, Lisa, you wouldn't believe what you did to me.

She's like, you don't know anything yet. But fate is running away. Please someone stand up and just be honest with me. Let me be honest. So, um, Jack, have I hear the truth? All right, let's all celebrate me and my mask. Good bye, everyone.

So then Jack's is inside and he's like, doesn't understand what's going on. He's like, you know, I've been doing great with Brittany, I haven't cheated. So I don't know why people are like so quick to say that I cheated. I'm like, because you're Jack's, and it's what you've done, this entire show,

all you do is cheat. That's why. That's why it's important to have good Behaviors than when people make an accusation against you people will believe that that you you were not Chewley you know, yeah faith is like got a piece of Jackson's plaque somewhere in her vagina And she's ready to show it. Okay. There's not gonna get you're not getting out of this one So of course James gives him the same answer He's like I don't get like why people don't trust me like why did they think that I slept with faith and James goes didn't you

And he's like, well, I've been you know really different with Brittany so like I don't know why people are so like he did it Like first of all learning English, okay, and second of all you have not been really different with Brittany You just found a woman to take your shit and it happened to be out in the middle of a damn show. Nobody watched in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of cow tipping. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't believe that you've been different

with Brittany at all, in fact. And I don't believe Faith is the only one, you know? I think she's just the only one that's come forward. Yeah. Of course not. Jack says that kid who takes every piece of candy out the candy bowl on his way out of the restaurant You know, so you can only see the fix for anybody else He just takes like every vagina that he sees on the way out and just does whatever he has to and Brittany's like

Well, I'm embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed and she knows like why it didn't marry Shay and Christians like you don't have any reason to be embarrassed Okay, you're be embarrassed, okay? You're like Brittany, okay? You made us all want to be better people. When does that start? Yeah, I'm really not this-seeing, because then Kristen then gets on-hears-she has her moment, she's like, Jack's still a liar.

I got it. I've had sex with Jack's. He can suck my motherfucking dick. No joke. Jack should go fuck himself. I'm like, okay, Kristen, Kristen just relax this isn't your fight yeah I love how the editors cut from her going yeah like I get it I fucked up but I'm a better person now and I've grown and then it cuts to her going he can suck my fucking dick and he's lucky I didn't shove us

to let her down his throat and then up his asshole oh that's you, that's wasting two shoes. Yeah. Okay, Kristen. Like Violet, Kristen. Yeah. So now she needs to decide to get in the mix a little bit more. So she starts yelling at Jacks because she's like, Bring me south side. Like, is she? And he's like, so what?

He's like, am I going to chase her down the street? She's like, you should. That's the level you're fucking like, Jacks. And you need not to do it. And Tom's like, bro, she in a bro, it's not like you saw go down. Like, oh, he starts like moving his head, like he's giving a blow job, but his fingers also pointing up and down. And I'm not sure what the hell kind of sex Tom is used to having,

but it was hilarious watching him reenact it in his sexual mime. Yeah. So Jackson's, Jackson's really mad at faith. He's like, what the fuck is she doing? I mean, this sort of shit that like fucks up people's lives. I'm like, yeah, so is cheating, Jackson. So is cheating.

Yeah, but I can't feel bad for Brittany. I'm sorry, but you know what else is something that fucks up people's lives dating jacks, okay? The guy is basically like coming with a label at this point. Everybody knows and you're still dating him. So yeah, like I'm low to take the stance of like she had a coming or she should have known better and never blamed the victim. But sometimes it's like if there is a label on the chlorox, don't drink the chlorox. If it says, if you drink this, you'll die. You know, don't do it.

Don't do it. It's not that we, it's not that we're happy for the kids. You know, like no one's happy for the girl who drank the drain note and Heather's and then fell through a coffee table. Like no one's like, oh, she deserved it. Spoiler. Just kidding. Um, but I was like, oh no, what did I do?

I got you some nervous now. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some nervous now. I got you some.

I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some nervous now.

I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. I got you some. as documented footage was there. So, I think once you really get on a very intense, like, antibiotic regimen for somebody, it's like a certain kind of commitment, you know, and it still hurts when they cheat. Well, here's where Brittany really went wrong. She's like, I just wish.

I wish I was the one who changed Jack's Taylor because I really thought he was changing for me and really wanted to be in this relationship but it turns out he wasn't changing I didn't change him. I'm like well see there's your problem you can't expect to change people and that's your fault. Yeah and you're wearing a satin dress with panty lines and you're getting into a mosque at Uber it's like life isn't getting better you know at some point you just have to be like, here I am and a prom dress from BB, you know, in a lot of time. And if I can't have me time, I'll have a me out of time. So she knows like, back me up, serious like, and then she's basically yelling.

And she tells us all of us girls are going to rally around Brett. And if that's true, we're going to go learn a bomb it on his ass. It's a wrong part but yeah it's fine. Spoken is someone who's probably cheated on everyone she's ever been with. It's like okay she. Yeah I mean I don't want to go there but she was the other woman. Yeah so James is like I'm taking you home because she cried and said she missed a period and you're not welcome home Britney couldn't get anyone else to tell you so she's turned to welcome that upside down Which means you're not welcome home and Jackson's like ruining my life and then yeah, Britney leaves in her Mazda and Lisa's like what is it?

Person who looks like Peter, but isn't shockingly better shape what you doing at my home here in the daytime i can't believe it someone is here it is a new car i cannot believe it yes because it's the next day in where a villa rosa hanky is there taking a dip in the what wall of course he's always taking a dip. That's where he lives. And Lisa's car broker Fadi comes over with a new Rolls Royce. And so Lisa is like, they're like, oh, it's the Rolls Royce I've always wanted. I don't want to ask for things because I don't want to be a brat. Like everyone else on this show, but I did sort of suggest my way. Isn't this a wonderful moment?

And then Stasley comes walk up the driveway. It's like, what, what, want want that I did not hint at I need to get better at my head I just kept hinting it at Ken I would say ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro- Hey, Ken. Oh, I'm just getting these roles Roy's then. Oh, Ken, what a wonderful idea. Oh, nice of you. Does it come with any accessories? Just also. Oh, the dammit. Well, what a pain in the ass, but she does have style. Meanwhile, Stasi's wearing like some shirt with like a million little strings tied around the sides. At least it's like, you're born with that kind of style. She says, Stasi's looked these days and sort of like she's hanging a bunch of gift bags

off her shoulders. Just the really long ones that come together look like a dress. Stasi's like, R-R-A-F like seriously? really long ones that come together look like a dress. It's awesome. R-R-A-F, like seriously? Like, I don't even have the central AC in my apartment A-F. Oh no, Kenis Center Rolls Royce American Theater! Oh, yeah! Thank you for the hinting.

Oh, dear. You get a Rolls Royce and a street version shows up. Yeah, here's a dollar. Yes, you can have some more Oliver twisty, Stasi, Stasi. You're born with that kind of Oliver twist gumption. So Stasi comes down, she's like, Hi Lisa, like I'm here AF, like,

and Lisa is like, wait, before you go, Italian Peter with a better haircut and workout regimen, is the gas in the car. I'm just like, don't you even know how to like put your gas in your car? Like, what do you gal an over at one? She's like, no, I don't. It's like, do you know how to go to the grocery store? It's like, of course, Dossie! What's the cause of my team doing the question?

Is that the grocery store? Of course. Is where you go to get diamonds? I know how to the grocery store. Go to the grocery store. I walk right up to Diana and I say Diana! I own you. Yeah, get me some meat in my refrigerator before you can done in this town. And she does it. Oh yes, there's been many, many grocery stores. My favorite one is one called Wahale Foods. Lisa, that's Huff Foods, AF.

Oh. Cheers, son. Okay, I admit it, I've never actually been inside Wahale Foods, I've just stopped it. Sign the, sign the petitions for green piece, I support green piece community. I once met a shepherd and a farm called Bristol. Does that count? I met a lovely man named Joe, he was a traitor. I went in and I was wearing Hawaiian shirts and I realized I must have been at a homeless shelter,

so I left to find a proper grocery store. There were these boxes on wheels that one rolled around, and I would tell Kent, look at that. Unfortunately, it's not a rubber. And now I have a rose, Royce. You would never believe what they can put into a can. Can you believe it? See that wordplay, Stasi? That's the sort of wordplay you get from my friend Ralph. He has a stroller. And now Ken is hired a can can can troop to come and then can can force what a wonderful hint we gave him

So they sit down together and Stasi's like oh my god. You're wearing my like favorite AF that's color AF She's like that means good vibes. She's like, I'm also wearing a cutout in the back of a button up shirt. Stasi day. I've forgiven Stasi. I've pressed the reset button on Stasi of Oliver Twist fame. You're welcome. So she's like, I understand you want to get into event planning as a J. O. B We don't say that word out loud in this house. You get the point, don't you? I'm hinting at you. You get the hint Don't you stussy? Not really Yeah, so stussy the clown music starts. It's like to don't don't like the stassy the stassy ever have a job clown music

And stussy's like well, I love styling, decorating, parties, cakes, like decorating cakes, party, cakes, rosé, I love environments and atmospheres. And so like invent planning, it's like styling an atmosphere. And the music just stops and leases staring at her. Like, is this green piece now happening? Are we re-stiling the environment now? So many words coming out of her, I don't understand it. Darling,

just a hole in your ozone, go fix it. Save the dolphins, am I right? So then, so then so basically, Stasi wants to be an event planner at Sir, she wants to start at Sir, and so you know this is releases like, you know, you know, you know, Stasi, you know, she's a pain the ass, but she does have her own sense of style and that can't be taught, which of course is like, I mean, she may have a sense of style. I don't know if it's a good sense of style, but it's definitely a sense of style Yeah, the sense of pirate style She's like granny pirates. Oh, yeah If ever we decide to open up a restaurant in the middle of the ride the pirates of the Caribbean Stasi would be the perfect pirate style to pull it off So um, so then after you know Lisa like, all right, you can do this. Uh, Stasi tells her that she's back with Patrick, um, uh, which surprises Lisa Vanderpump.

Um, and then, uh, Stasi starts talking about how she was so mad that she missed the whole Jack's situation. Go down to your party because she's always wanted to impale someone and have their head on a stick in her apartment. And she really felt like that was was gonna be her chance to do it And Lisa's just looking at her like well, why didn't you darling? You should have hinted at Ken. He would have done it But I love how Lisa is Letting stossy, do you miss she goes all right? Well, yeah, I'm those having a party on Saturday at the restaurant

So just go and then find part of the room and make it pretty. And make sure you upsell, all right? Do you want warm potato salad, which you want? Do you need a DJ, please? Do you need a bus boy? Do you need a pizza, Quilla? All in one. Cool, James.

Upsell. Upsell. Do you need more lavender highlights behind her Eastern artwork? Do you... We have a Buddhist statue and a planter! Purple highlights behind both please! Would you like to give your guest the opportunity to take a picture with a giant planter? It's like Santa!

Only it doesn't promise your children anything. It's planter clause, upsell stasi! You can sit on its lap. But don't fall in. That's for Krampus. So now about to spatter. We don't even serve buns on the table. So why would we serve men with buns on the head?

Explain! Explain to me the bun on the head. She's like, well, he's like smart, but then he like breaks up with me, but now we're back together a-a-f. Yeah, well, we'll see how long that lasts. So then the moment that we never knew we needed, but we were so glad happened. We went to commercial and we got to see an extended advertisement for the new pitch-perfect movie featuring some of our favorite Vanderpump rules cast members. This was shockingly good. I loved it. I love pitch perfect. I love every pitch perfect. I love Glee. I got him care. I'm into it. Even if there's Christian in there. But they were singing like, Trump gets on my mind. But it was like, it was a Vanderpromp rule stuff. So it's like, Trump crack, I'm scratching.

I don't even like take any notes about it because I was just in such shock. I think at one point, Shina like flipped her hair and did like a weird like Beyonce hand thing and she was like, fine, firm, teen news. She's like, I don't know what's happening. I just thought it was so perfect that they have a cast as off key and tone deaf as

Vanderprop rules, literally fighting pitch. Like, literally fighting pitch perfect. You're like, no, we'll think what we want to. Give me a D. And then she says five not engaged man rings. What how does that even make sense? And how does she know the only

singer in here and she's the worst? Like they gave her one source. They gave her one mind where she's like that's five engagement rings. And she flips her, you know, right.

And I was like she even speaks off to. Well, she is, and I was like, she even speaks off to. Well, she is, she is like an ailey auto tuned. So that's what makes it strange. Yeah. How do you auto tune? And Christians like, yeah, Christians like, nine. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It was a pretty cute commercial. They get to be really.

They were in some void. They, they like dubbed her over with someone because her voice was like, on the fifth day of Christmas, my true love get to me. I was like wait that is not Kristen. I'm sorry So I think it was Kristen. I think it was really Kristen It's just through the auto-tune stuff. I was really impressed with Kristen. I hope she turns her whole t-shirt mean line into songs now Just has an album like you can get to the top of the mountain if you just start climbing it we're not want what that's the way the cookie crumbles

follow the law the law the law the law yeah that's the way the cookie crumbles like oh god get she in the out of here, please. Such a ribbon. She knows, she knows ruining Christmas, okay. Get she in the out of here. So speaking of music, when we came back to the show, the, the, the music, the public domain music that they played, the loyalty free music,

how to really interesting lyric. Did you catch this one? Yeah, I'm so glad you got this. I got all the lyrics written down. It was like save me from this specimen. I was like I don't think anyone's gonna you save from specimen from this specimen save me because I can feel that something's happening.

I'm like wait, you're starting with specimen specimen if you can't run specimen just don't start with that you know what I mean it's just one of those words that just doesn't really work well in a song specimen well not when not when the entire plot is about sperm like come on people yeah save me with your specimen and then she and it comes in she's like five kids are ganging oh my god oh he just says this song was bad enough someone clear she know please so bring you um enters Katie's apartment and she's just yapping about faith calling her a

thirsty little bitch and jacks was dumb enough to go with it i'm like you know what i hate this jacks is the dog here don't blame faith i'm sorry don't blame faith i mean maybe faith shouldn't have done that, but like, it's just the classic. Like, like, the, I hate that phrasing that that faith is the thirsty bitch and Jack's was dumb enough to go to go with it. As if Jack's almost the innocent victim and he was swept up by faith's like master plan. No, Jack's the dog here. Okay. And Faith was the one who was dumb enough to go along with it. Yeah. That whorehouse faith is running at that old lady, 95-year-old lady's bedside. Yeah. Now, to be fair, I mean, Brittany, I think Brittany, she really needs to get her shit together

also because on top of the fact that she was handed with the both three seasons worth, or three or four seasons worth of antifim well documented jacks's behavior. She then tells us, you know, I came home once and there were fake eyelashes on the counter. I should have known. I'm like, yeah, exactly. That's when you leave him. Why would there be fake eyelashes on the counter? You dumb bitch. Well, you never know. Tom could have just stayed over one night after being out late. That's true. But Katie's like, how have you been?

Because Katie is doing this thing this season where she's sick of being hated online. So she's just nowhere ever. And she doesn't say much, but she says it with those like really serious eyes. Like, I'm really furious. And I'm going to talk about it with my eyebrows. But she's like, Brittany, you're such a good person. How are you feeling right now? And Brittany's like, I'm saying and I'm mad.

And I'm also saying and I'm so mad. I don't know how to put it. Well, you need to learn more words and they don't all have to rhyme. Okay. And you don't have to add extra syllables to them either my dear naming all the terrorists that were against in the CSI for this video so Brittany is she's just she's furious and she's an emotional rack and she's I'm gonna go to Vegas because I'm single now and I'm gonna act single and she's, I'm gonna go to Vegas because I'm single now and I'm gonna act

single and that's what I'm gonna do because my friend is my best friend is in Vegas. I'm just gonna go to Vegas that's what's gonna happen. I'm like really the worst thing you could possibly do right now is go to Vegas like that is never the answer at more times like this. I think your answer should be go to like you know go to like go to the peccara spa up in Ohio or something like that or like go to go anywhere but, go to like, go to the PCara spot up in Ohio or something like that or like, go to, go anywhere but Vegas, go to Palm Springs. Oh, Ling, if you want to know what it's like to be single, get an adjustable bed, a memory phone, body pillow, and a dog, okay? Just do it the happy way.

No one's happy in Vegas, okay? That's where Nicholas Cage went to kill himself with the list of his shoe. Exactly. Exactly. That's terrible decisions will happen up in Vegas. And did you notice that Katie, because she's a woman on the show and they're always trying to come up with excuses for their terrible man? So Katie joined her in this, you know, Brittany's blaming faith. And Katie's like, I don't know why Jack's does this. Like, I can't believe he betrayed her. I feel like he has a serious problem but he needs to get help for it.

Oh, okay. So it's just an illness now, okay? Well, I like it. This is like a horish sociopaths, okay? It's not like a disease you just heal. I also like that she has this bombshell revelation in season six. Like now she discovers that, hmm,

I'm finally decided that he needs help. Yeah, you're the one with leprosy on your wrist, okay? So then Jack's who is? So Jack shows up and importantly, this is something that really bothers me. Um, Katie and Tom's people is not centered on their door. Did you notice that? Yeah, they also have that gold frame around it, like they're on friends. Yes, and on top of that, the frame, the people is not centered, but they didn't put the frame around the people. So the people is outside the frame. I don't understand this. I don't like either, like I don't understand why it's not centered, but then furthermore, I don't understand why if you're going to put

the frame up, why you don't put the frame around the people. Isn't that what you're trying to frame? Frame the people darling. It's my new spin-off. It's going to be a game show on Fox when two idiots live in a apartment and see if they could put a frame around the people. All right Katie and Tom, you're up next. Are you ready to play? Frame that people. All right, first question. Can you frame the people? people all right Katie and Tom you're up next are you ready to play frame that people all right first question can you frame the people let me give you your hint

fatta bahaa friend the people friend the people would you like a friend would you like a photo friend? Oh, yeah, Lisa. Hey Jacks When I frame of people where do I put the frame? Okay, great. All right. Let's see what answer you've come up with. Oh, I'm so sorry You put the frame outside the people you failed to frame the people as a consolation gift me give you a glass of You failed to frame the people as a consolation gift me give you a glass of every piece angry. Oh goodbye Okay, he's like well, I blame this all on the disease that the people have said just can't get it shit together So Jack's comes in and he's doing he's pulling the old Jack's tricks He's like look. I'm in a collared shirt and a sweater like trying to look good. It's like a little boy It was not a sweater. It was a sweatsh it and it's like a little boy. It was not a sweater.

It was a sweatshirt. It was a Taco Bell sweatshirt. He's like, look, at least I'll get Katie on my side. He's like, I brought some ranch. Yeah, he comes in with a Dorito taco shell in his pocket just to keep Katie on his side. She's like, I don't know why I'm agreeing with Jacks right now. I don't know.

Oh. So Brittany is like in no mood for Jack. She's like I don't know why I'm agreeing with Jack's right now. I don't know So Brittany is like a no mood for Jack. I think you guys fuck She's screaming at handwalk Katie plays with Britt his ponytail, which is kind of like Katie could not have been more bored She was like hmm. I'm like Katie You realize these people are having a huge fight right now. He's try to be enthused I'm like, Katie, you realize these people are having a huge fight right now. These try to be enthused. She's like stopping herself from like getting the ranch out of the fridge. That's all she's thinking of.

She's like, do not do it. And on the camera again, do not do it. Do not do it. And Brittany's like, she's like, she'll be the test to see us jacks. And she looks at all the text and he's erased all of her, his own. So it's only it's only a faith fates that are shown like he's the worst liar ever. And she goes, well, this is my phone is blowing up. That makes you fuck her after everything I've done for you. And Jackson's everything you've done for me. And then he

stops himself because this is usually when he's like, all I wanted was a ham sandwich. So he stopped himself on the fight and she's like, I'm moved here. I left my goats and my mama. For you, for a man I met on Instagram, I did this for you. And Katie hugs her and just keeps staring at the refrigerator. She's like, wait, where did that, where did that smell go? Where did it go? I have the urge to follow Jack's down the hallways. Is that weird? Would you be mad? Well, Brittany has one of those like real good, like dramatic Tennessee Williams cries, right?

Because she's like, I hate you, get out of my life. And then she turns and like just sobbed into Katie's boob. I was like, ooh, this is like some good sobbing. This is like real deep like on stage sobbing. I loved it. Yeah, she's got her community theater down. It just goes to show you, even if you're doing Oklahoma with the cast of barn animals that your mom is raising, practice is practice. Sometimes you say things that takes me like a second to be like She's like oh you did such a great job little lambie that was really good

You're just a lamb who can't say no that was really good A plot horse a plot I've done everything for you Oh the Jay-axe and the farmer can be friends. Oh, what a beautiful. Well, y'all almost got that weirdo mrapiig. Y'all almost got it. Six unique restor ronty is where I'm going to be. So speaking of, let's get a sexy unique restaurant a

That's from Mexican night talkers use days which has a spot open Thankfully James is here with a new hole So James is there with Raquel Yeah at pump at pump. Yeah, and he's like well here. We are at pump. It smells the same common candles welcome Raquel Yeah Raquel whose extension is falling out of her head. It's like a, it looks like she has a waterfall of like, Gigi's extension coming out. Poor girl. Poor girl.

And she's wearing those mom jeans that are short shorts that are pulled all the way up past the butt crack or whatever. And so the cheeks are hanging out. And Lisa's like, to what do I owe the plant? Oh, no, do you have short to short little whole girl? Day job, boo. And then they show Brittany when she came in her night gown. Her friend, her friend, her friend, her friend her stuff, Holly with a 90 to her job interview. Right. And Rick, he'll I was like, oh, I'm sorry, just that we're going to Jean, Jeremy's birthday after this. I'm like, well, if

you're asking for a job, I think that is what takes the wardrobe precedence, not the random birthday downtown. This is the original journeys, right? I demand some respect. But I love that Lisa's like, slept shaming her when they open the

scene with a close up of a waitress's ass. It's in short shorts. It's like, what's the difference? Are they different if they have pump written on them? Like what's the difference? I don't really get it. Yes. Ding ding ding. Oh look at that. Kenneth bought me a trolley. Oh you're so good at kids. Never letting it go. Okay, never letting it go. So James was like, today we're here for Raquel, Lisa. Yeah, Raquel basically wants to work at Vanderpump dogs.

And Lisa is like, all right, so what do you do? She's like, what do you mean? She's just, what do you do as a job? Well, I'm a model of like, oh god. Oh, but I also got a school. She's, oh, do you? What do you study? And she's like, can you see our wedding?

She's, oh, well look at that. A professional kazoo player. Well done. This might be a hoe broken enough to take onto Mama Bird's wing. Lisa's like, hmmm. Well, she doesn't seem very bright, but she calls herself a model, and she's very pedestrian-looks, and you know, that it's my favorite kind of model, the broken bird. I do think she's much more attractive than she is, you're hired!

I like how she doesn't even hire, she goes, well I think you should be a volunteer because basically a volunteer is an old about calming dogs and cleaning up mess and you know you practice with James. James is like wiki wiki. Now that we're here Lisa, I have something, something I want to say, say wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki w you were actually making about re-care for the day. And it's like, well, I didn't want to waste your precious time. You're busy, so you know, I just wanted to kill birds with some rocks, which is like, no, that's not how it is, James. You just murdered innocent animals.

I'm calling you, Lynn. And because the you Lynn bird hit my rocks festival. James is, James is,s doing his typical plea. He's like oh, we don't Lisa. I just yeah, I love you. I miss sir I miss you. I miss Ken. I miss the pump Tini's. I miss the plants. I miss the planters I miss the purple highlights and Mr. Wampita to salad. I just miss you all so much And I just thought I'd come come back maybe do something on Wednesday night. It's a Friday night I don't know Lisa. I'm a good boy now, I'm good. I miss the refrigerator. Remember those long talks we had by that refrigerator?

Lisa, I'm only drinking ice cream now, please Lisa. And she's like, all right, I'll give you taco Tuesdays. We might be able to give it a try. I don't know Steve Aoki has also shown some interest Indeed, you're not sir I believe marshmallow is also shown some interest and same with Z But we could maybe work something out with you Oh look can sent me a zebra all All right, Ken, I'm no longer hinting. Stop sending me things. So over at Tom Jeremy's party, Tom Tewes there,

and Tom Tewes just wasted. He's been drinking since Sheena's party the night before. And Ariana's like, Shwarth is show wasted. He started at Sheena's birthday and never stopped. I mean, after a while, it's not cute, dude. Do something different. What?

I mean, why stop now? It's been six years. Exactly. You talk like, oh gosh, this is a second birthday party in 12 hours I've been to that Katie hasn't been invited to. Oh my god. I'm like, maybe you should stop going to these parties that your wife is invited to. Yeah, he's like, I'm really testing that saying, you know,

happy wife, happy life. You're not ever going to have a happy wife. So you might as well have a happy life. Is that what you meant? Cause we're here for that. Well, Katie's happy because you just set home like with a giant bowl of iceberg lettuce, dancing around to apartment to Liam is. Reading the they're like, yeah, I can't believe she's not here. Yada, yada, yada. And of course Logan's like, well, Faith doesn't touch either because she's not the one of the relationship, right, James? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

stop it. Brickett will see you right now. Of course, Logan's like standing up for the other Logan, you know, so I think she's at a bedbath and beyond. Oh, it's waiting to see the towels. She's like, this is beyond. Where do I watch the dot? Like, I get that word the beyond place,

but where's the bed and the bath part? I love Beyond Day. No. You're not working for Beyond Day darling. You're working at bed bath and beyond day This is gonna be a five hour recap about nothing. I don't even know what I was like I was quiet just now because I got lost in my own head thinking about a linens and things joke I could make I was like Could I make a linens and thing joke I could make. I was like, could I make a linens and

thing joke right now and should I? Salon jay of things, darling. I just like that at a time in our history, there were two bedding stores that like had some vagaries in their titles, you know, like it's bedbath and beyond and linens and things, you know, it's just like, let's just leave it open ended in case we want to add in you know Turtles I don't know. I'm not even home. Not even home stores can commit Do what they want this day name. Yeah, as I Tom Schwartz named it. Oh, why don't you go like one and something great? Let's do it. We'll never go out of business never ever

Palm store would be called sheets Holy sheets and we'll sell sheets that have a hole in them because I wake with my dick doom and jacks can like see it and be like oh my god bro It's like we're always we're always Middle Eastern Virgin So Brittany is walking down the hallway from Katie's house just development is hilarious by the way that they live right next door and it's like Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun She's like hi dogs, I'm sorry to leave you dogs. Go away, Jack! Go away! Did you have her in my bed, Jacks? Was in my bed?

Tell me the truth. Did you have sex there? You did! And Jacks is like, yes, it's true, yes. Tell me the truth. Did you have sex there? You did and Jackson's like Yes, it's true. Yes Even if he's the worst liar, he's so stupid. She goes remember when I found those lashes Where those hers and he goes no one was here at least say it was like the maid or like well It's what's funny is like when he decides to like not lie anymore You slept with her did you know of course not you slept with her, didn't you? No, of course not. You slept with her, no, of course not.

Those ad lashes, no one was here. Come on, Jacks. Yeah, it's all true. It's like, and he's like, listen, I've learned that like denying it for month after month after month, month after month, never works, I'll just fess up to it. And I'm sort of sad. I sort of like the month after month denial.

Because it's like, it's a great build up. Because at a certain point, it becomes like a mind game. Because we all know that Jacks did it. But then after like episode 18, you start to say to yourself, maybe he didn't. I don't know, maybe he didn't. And then he did. And you're like, oh yeah.

God, I love this show. I think it was a social experiment. Because online, there were actual threads, you know, on our own Facebook groups, people like, oh yeah, God, I think it was a social experiment because online there were actual threads, you know, on our own Facebook groups, people like, I actually believe Jackson's time. I think faith is just thirsty, you know, it's like a social experiment to see how many people Jackson can still trick with his lies, you know. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I did it.

And then he turns his back to get for the Taco Bell logo and she's like, I'm not Katie. That's not going to work on me. He's like, yeah, I did it. And then he turns his back to get for the Taco Bell logo. And she's like, I'm not Katie. That's not gonna work on me. He's like, oh darn it. She's like, I'm going to Vegas. You fed him a bitch. Cool Kingsley come out from under the bed. He's done yelling at me. It's like you're the one yelling.

Well, Jackson's, I like that Jackson's, you know, he's trying to make excuses. And he's like, well, you know, is when we were going through a hard time bring his like i didn't do that to you and he's like uh... does not compute do not understand that logic he's like uh... you're right like you stossy had him trained at least that well you know yeah uh... and i love that he's like we were fighting and they show clips of

their stupid spin off and he's like, we were fighting and then they show clips to their stupid spin off. And he's like, ham sandwich. And then he tells us he goes, gosh, there's just so many things going through my head right now. Like, I didn't know she was going to say anything. Oh, I don't know. Like, he's just mad that Fitz said something. Yeah.

Exactly. Exactly. He's just mad that he got caught. Yeah. So she cries all over her dogs and then ghost of Vegas, leaving her dogs in the most abusive situation they could ever be in. Yeah, I feel bad for dogs when they get used to tissues. She's like, oh, and then she's like, right into his hair.

I think Kingsley, that name is curse for dogs at this point. Yeah, Kingsley is not a good name. At least you didn't rip off anybody's face, so that's good. Sorry, Kingsley, wherever you are in that farm of the sky, Kingsley Richards. So back at the Tom Party, Jeremy Party, Tom's like, Oh, Bill, it's Long Beach Pride, and I want to go because I want to show Lisa that I want this partnership alive. Well, yeah. And so he is making plans to go down to Long Beach to, you know, like bury the hatchet

with Lisa because he realizes that she's his meal ticket. So while he's making those plans, James starts telling everyone about Faith's period, about how she basically didn't have one. And she might be pregnant with Jackson's babies and everyone's like In a Twitter or about this whole situation Yeah, James just walking through like Hello, it's me tech of Tuesdays. Don't forget by the way They might be pregnant faith might be pregnant like God James right after you're telling faith

No, come on you can tell me I will tell us so yeah, and I also like by the way Then there's like this weird moment at this party where the camera was kind of like drifting through picking up random snippets of Conversation and like apparently Kristen had what had gone to James the night before I was like oh We'll talk about a relationship. I still have some one resolved things But we didn't really hear any more about that. And then we see Shina talking to random girl, and she's, and Shina just goes, she hates him.

She can live with me until she figures some things out. You know, the girls probably like, who are you? I'm just thinking of my red bull and vodka. I'm just thinking of my red bull and vodka. Also, what is that situation? Like, even when I'm not there, I'm there. I just tell her to like sit in front of my good side painting Just cry to that cuz like I'm really feeling for her like that girl of that picture was so such a married Jay

I think I have one of each of the prime collectors, please so um, so then Schwartz is off in a corner in Tom Sandevolson's down next to him and they're talking about Jacks. And Schwartz just starts to cry. He's like, I'm just drunk, Baba. Oh, holy man. And Tom. Let's rock, dude.

What is it, dude? You're like the best guy in the world, bro. And Schwartz is like, oh, the first time I live, I realize I have no drive. I'm like, so it wasn't after the time when you freaked out after bartending for one day. That was too hard for you. It wasn't when you started this season wearing one of those old Navy iron pla- or a little tiny flower pattern shirts, and you know I recognize them because I have them I'm like you make money. Where are you wearing this? And he's like I have no drive and Tom's like that's why we've got over

Bro No, hey yourself No, hey The Tom sand of all sorts of cry and poor Tom sand of all HD was not his friend because you could see his fake tans And Porto Amsan of all HD was not his friend because you could see his fake tan Tracks and literally it's like the song tracks of my tears It was like the finally see someone's tracks their tears because it was like the tears is like cutting to the fake tan the tracks of my abiza tan Oh

Cuz abiza is not just a place where charity is done, okay? It's also a tanning salon on Fairfax and Willoughby. That's right. It is. So Thomas is like, I can tell I'm no psychic, no that, bro. But I can tell you the future we're gonna have a bar. It's gonna be called Tom and not la la la la. Gabriel!

Oh, wait, we're having a bar. Oh, I'm gonna go home now. This is too much. So, um, back in Hollywood, Brittany is packing her shit and she's calling her mom. She's like, Mom, how you jaded? How you jaded? I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go on a Vegas.

I'm not gonna look at him. I'm gonna slow my nose in the dogs a few more times. I'm leaving. He's just awful. I should have been holding him. I'm home. He's jaded. She's like, Oh, well that's just awful. I like I took my whole life from my mom. He's like oh, oh, that's too bad. Well Just they calm

Anyway, I got some coupons. I'm gonna go grocery store. Bye Yeah, I've got to put some white frosting on my lips. Can we talk later? Hey, now don't you let that little herpes ridden HP Vmo bill get out of there before you saw season two contract for our show you got that little bitch I will ruin your entire Ensemble cast of Oklahoma in that barn if you don't come back here with contract got it I hate him mom. I hate him. I hate him and she like Pushes over a little a picture of frame there. Did you hear that mom? Did you get that clank? That was a sound of my hatred as I pushed over a frame mom. That's good bear

Come back to Versailles Like was that the sand if that frame I bought you from five and below because I'm not happy right now Listen, I'll buy you that from Stein mart, okay? Don't be pushing over my Stein mart gifts, okay? You don't treat somebody like this if you love them, which means the hate don't love me Like welcome. Well, welcome to the show Britney. Yeah, you finally arrived So she finally decides to leave also and of note She and Jack's have the same yellow picture frame on their door too, but theirs is actually around to people That was very important for me to announce to the listeners.

Yeah, Jack says like she may not make a ham sandwich, but she sure knows how to center a people. Yeah, oh, you know what we have to do? Because we're gonna, like, they're gonna be ads that are gonna be, like, dynamically placing our ads and not in our shows. We were supposed to put a musical bed, like a six-second musical bed that the ads will play during the musical bed, but we supposed to put a musical bed, like a six-second musical

bed that the ads will play during the musical bed, but we forgot to get a musical bed set up. So we can do, while we do an acapella, um, shina and sand of all, sand of all, do it for six seconds, okay? Okay. I'll be shina. Okay. Okay. Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hoor! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hooray! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor! Hoor broadcast, dis and tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. That was so good. That was, I have to mark down. Where are we?

Where are we in our recording? Wow. 59 minutes. Great. Wow, we're really on. Just just search for that moment where your final cut pro commits suicide. Just like that moment when all the buzzards, because our flying to the window. Yeah, just wait for all the birds to start. Yeah, killing themselves against your window. Oh my goodness. We probably

actually have another ad today, but we forgot to look at that. So we'll just keep going forward. Let's forge on ahead. Speaking of buzzards, you know, slamming themselves into glass windows, let's go to Long Beach pride darling. Yes. Is there such a thing as pride in Long Beach? I'm not sure.

At least there's a home to it. I used to live in Long Beach, second in Sherry, when I was 20 years old. And let me tell you that town will never forget who Grandma Lisa was. I used to love that show, second in Sherry. That was a great show. It should have been one. It's like eighth in Ocean, remember eighth in Ocean on MTV. One of the most amazing shows that were totally forgotten about in the annals

of pop culture. Well, now that you're talking of annals, here we are pride. Get it! Get it! Here we are. So Lisa had Rosario or Rosio, rather, hot glue gun, a bunch of like, or Rosio rather, hot glue gun, a bunch of like puffy, like pencil puffs to a white hat and address. And she just whips that out every time she has to do a random pride. Yeah. It's like an odd craft project that Rosio made. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, at the Long Beach Prize, she doesn't have to do anything too special, but she, she arrives in some neighborhood with a guy who runs the parade. And she's like, Your grand marshal reporting for duty. I've been an advocate for the gay hours for a long time, Erby. Here I am, Ken, let's get this float to start it.

And it's basically the old Rolls Royce, which she hates the doors to. And he puts the top down, and she just sits on top of waves and he drives around like Rivalo game people Hello, I'm a sexist. I'm a gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay people, you know, it got invented out of an evening or something invented out of an Steve who fucked behind the back and never believed in it or a young faith game and it took a couch Well, long-lapse pride long-weeter. Oh, is that an aquarium I see? Oh, I get long-weeds pride. So, um, Tom and Ariana, like, run up to the side and they're like,

Hi Lisa, hi, hi, we're here, we're here, and these are the- Oh, look! It's Tom and Arianna One half of Tom Tom and the other girl The other Tom, oh, oh Lisa, he's like taking a shit right now. Oh Larious actually disgusting, but I guess it's his pooping right now Well nice of them to pop down actually he said pooping can pooping not popping pooping yeah we've all got to do I think I just did it as well though I like when she's on the car she's so dead pan on the car she's done so many gay prize by now she's like waving. So hello homosexuals.

It's so overwhelming and so emotional. They understand how much I support them. Look at you being yourself unless you're Mr. Jack Stadia. Get it homosexuals. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Anyway, yada yada yada. Handwave, hand wave, gay dogs. Here I am. Odd dogs, odd little gay dogs. So she's like, oh, look at there, the tom that pooped.

And he's like, sorry, I couldn't help it. And then can't start doing that thing. Where is like, thank you for coming. Now. Where's all the people that didn't come? Wiz Jax. Wiz James. Wiz Peter. Wiz Rosio. Wiz Gamma. Wiz, Wiz, where can I go? Someone just, someone posted in, in, in, on one of the watcher crappens, one of our pages, or who knows where, something that actually, um, sexy unique podcast remarked about, which is Lara, who I just met Lara last week, and she is just fabulous.

Love her. So funny, which is definitely gonna come on to our show, we'll do some cross-pollination. But apparently they describe R-Rakel as a balloon that someone eyes and a smile on. And I'm like, that is so stuck with me. I cannot get that out of my head. Like when you say Rakel, I'm just imagining a balloon with that someone true face on. That is perfect. And then when she talks, it's like when you let the air out of the balloon by like holding the air hole and like stressing it out. So it's like, the extension on the balloon. Yes. Oh, Lara, we have a long, wonderful friendship approaching us, darling.

Yes, darling. So, um, yes. So they, so so basically, Tom Tandoval tells Lisa that Jack's admitted to having sexual relations with faith and like, oh! And then, I think is this when also, Jack's, Tom, is starting saying, Lisa, I'm really sorry about all that stuff. You know, I love you and I want to do business with you. And she's like, oh, darling, I can't talk about this right now I'm just so massively popular. I've just been signing autographs and waving at people all day and

Pulling out of my old gay pride bag of tricks, you know our ours and I support the community etc I just can't talk about this, but yes, you can you can sit you know darling I'm not here for your talent or your brain and your ideas or your drinks or your money for that matter Just be enthusiastic, okay? Stand there, say, brahra, suss kumbaa, yaya yaya It's a go to God of Rolls Royce Yes, we got it, Ken! I mean, the only real reason why I brought you on board to Tom Tom Tom is because

I like the purple thing in your hair, reminds me the accent lighting and what you got rid of it. Oh, well, all right. So Tom, they all come up on this like fat guy bent over a bucket being, you know, lightly whipped by another guy and leather and times like, oh, dry smell. Because that's their plot line this year. He said it like three times. He's like me and Ariana Ariana are in the dry spell. So maybe she go with me.

And Ariana's like, well, this is like the flocker and the floggy. This is their communication, okay? And they communicate by like, they communicate through a whip. And there's like, say for it. So he's like, just hit me. She's like, okay, she gets really into it. He's like, I loved it, bro.

I love that when she hits him She just goes yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah So Lisa at one point Lisa, I guess is curious about what's going on with Jackson Brittany and she goes where is Brittany now? Is she absolutely broken hearted? I'm like wow her broken bird meters off the charts She's like it took me a little moment for me to realize how broken she must be right now I sense that Brittany is taking shots of tickwila right now very Our atmosphere and mr. Jack's Taylor is nowhere around is it Las Vegas? Like oh my god your your broken bird bird-homing devices are amazing.

And Schwartz is just, he's still sticking up for Jackson. He's like, oh, well, you know, Jack's just loves in a different way. I don't, that's a nice way to put it. I think it's not so much a different way. It's just like an asshole, terrible, doesn't really love in any way sort of way. Yeah. He's like, it's in his nature. Okay. He can't help himself. Papa. Don't tell me about Mr. Jackstay. He's so all the bank bonds out of my vault.

He's no longer invited to Mr. Pnuts plant a Christmas party Anyway, so sorry No, I'm coughing too because we're doing so much LVP boys that my my entire throat is like Is totally scratched up and like this cold brew is making weird shit come out of my mouth like I don't even know the shit I'm saying I don't even feel buzz. I just feel like I'm saying weird shit. I'm just like, I'm like, like ballpoint pen.

It's like what? Well, I'm lying down in the guest room as usual and just lying here for a couple of hours while we record is really not good for my brain. Like, everything hurts and the blood's flowing to weird places and I'm just sitting here going, oooh, oooh, oooh. Well, I oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh Between between the things I wrote down But here's one thing I did know I did know it we went to commercial and God bless Andy Cohen he finally cut that shaggy hair of his that he's been rocking for a few months

And it's back now to being super cute. So thank you Andy Yes, and I know we say a lot of shitty things you know on this show We're always giving candy shit especially for his interstitials where he's like well tonight We're always giving candy shit, especially for his interstitials where he's like, well, tonight we've got someone from Vanderprung rules and I might need a drill. And then he'll cut off because he can never get it in on time. I would like to say, I don't know if someone was like, those queens were making funny because you still don't know how to do this after six years. But that guy has been getting every interstitial in there, even with enough time to nod at

the camera. And I feel like he's personally telling me so fuck you queen well i think though this one that there was a little bit of a cutoff because jacks is on there so there was i think jack is like so jacks a lot of stuff to process tonight right and jacks like yeah well that was me did you quit no that was me doing the comics. Oh, Jacks. That was me. Oh, remember, remember how we're talking that Abby Cohen is Mercury and retrograde That's what we finally found these all remember that time 15 seconds ago and we're talking about how the interstitials cut off

So I made my interstitial cut off. No, I'm totally into you like a TV show. I'm just watching you like TV Like what happened probably how everybody feels and those interstitials get cut off. They're like wait a minute what happened? Hey guys coming up tonight. We got Jack's Taylor and pumps from Oklahoma sweet home Oklahoma home That's what that's what they're all about either way for as much as we give Andy That's what they're like. But either way, for as much as we give Andy, his hair looks great. And that's the haircut he's always had because he is super, super cute. And the shaggy-ness made him look older. And now he looks young again.

And we like when Andy looks in peak form. Well, it might also be that he's sitting next to Jack's. Like, everybody looks better sitting next to a sweaty scab. That's true too. And didn't you feel that tinge of sadness when they had a flashback earlier in the episode to hot jacks, his season one when he was cut and super modeling, I was sad. I was like, I missed out on it. His old face, his natural face was so weird.

And then Brittany is like, I'm going to punch him in his fake nose. Oh snap. So believe it or not, there are other things happening in this episode. We go when we come back from Andy's commercial, we have Stasi who is wearing some sort of monochrome picnic blanket. It was like this black and white ginkim something another again just as weird weird situation on. And she was very excited because... I'm dying. What? Did you hear me coughing?

No, I just heard you go, I'm dying. Yeah, I'm dying. Good, I'm glad this mic isn't picking it up. Okay, I'm sorry, carry on, please. And it picked... It picked up. Yeah, she's wearing a picnic poncho. A black and white picnic poncho.

It was like looking at a picnic basket, but it was from 1942. So you're like looking at a black and white. So she's there and she's getting ready to go out on a date with Patrick. Patrick, of course, is Stasi's boyfriend that she had left the show for initially, and then she came back and refused to be on the show, and then they broke up, and then she cried all last season but now they're back together.

And no one is more excited than Kristen. Oh my god, Kristen, it's like the boyfriend, you know, the boyfriend fucker. It's like the one he's gonna steal your boyfriend or trying to steal your boyfriend every time. Kristen just has a new toy to play with and she's thrilled. She's like, oh my god, your class is amazing. And you guys are like the prince and that lady he's gonna marry. This is like gonna be the best couple ever. I love him so much. I love his man

But I love everything about him. Does he have a podcast? What's a podcast? I love it. Speaking to me like I'm your heart Patrick. Oh I want to hug first. I'm gonna hug first. Okay. Tell me about P pods. I want to everything about him Don't let me go I wonder everything about him. So, Patrick shows up. I cannot support the man bun. And believe it or not, I have not as anti-man bun as everyone would think perhaps. I know a lot of people are very anti-man bun. I think man buns can actually still work for certain people.

Patrick's was a little too. It was too aggressive. It wasn't just like a man beehive back there. It was too much. I couldn't do it. I'm sorry, Patrick. I can't support it. And I know Stasi was very much in favor of it. She said she'd love the man bond, but I know because of Game of Thrones, but it's not like the, you know, it figures that she would like people from Game of Thrones because they like rape you or like they're horrible and abusive because, you know, it's like an old-timey show old-timey like it's from the 20s. You know it's like that sci-fi fantasy stuff where they're like, come on, heads get chopped

off and stuff. So of course she likes that kind of man. Patrick's kind of, here's my problem. I think he's really cute. Love his man bun, mostly because I'm jealous because I want one. But I think he's cute and stuff. I just don't like when strong women on TV, I love because they're so strong,

and that becoming these fucking pussies over these men. I hate it. It's happening right now in Atlanta with Kenya and her invisible husband. And now it's happening with Stasi, and I do not like it. I don't like it either. To be fair, I actually understand the impulse to be like, I am a strong personality, I am a strong woman or even I'm a strong man.

I'm like in so many aspects of my life, I am like the alpha and sometimes it's nice to like have a corner of my life where I'm the beta. So I get that. I actually do get it. But with Stasi, I just wanted to be all alpha all the time. Yeah. I mean, beta, you know, beta fish will kill you. That's the great thing about beta fish. Those are those fish you see in the pet store. They all have to be in their own individual little bowl and they have those beautiful You know what I mean, right? It looks like fabric just kind of slowly moving back and forth from the water

They go like a monochromatic picnic blanket? Yes. Yes, they're gorgeous fish. And they just sit there and don't do anything so people call them betas. But they have to be in their own individual bowls because they will kill you. But they will kill each other, OK?

You cannot have to in the same thing, or they'll kill each other. Maybe they need a beta blocker. Uh. Uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, little beta blocker. That's the kind of beta I like is what I'm saying. The kind of beta that it looks all calm until you put something too much like it in the same

bowl and it kills it. Okay. So people kind of beta stassy. That's my point. To be fair, that is the motto of VaynerPum rules. But something to do somewhere in the bowl and it kills it. of interpump rules, but something to do somewhere in the bowl and it kills it. Get a bunch of like-minded smelly fish and put them in a bowl and watch them destroy to the... So meanwhile back at Sir, we have an important update from Shina, which is, I'm so hungry, I haven't had any carbs today, I'm starving. Oh, Shina, you know when people are really starving how their bodies will eat all of their fat supplies and then start eating their brain.

So it kind of explains a lot. Oh, also, I had to say one other thing when Kristen walked into Stasi's place. She's like, hi, she's like, hi, dog. The dog ran away from her. I was like, okay, Christians here, Christians officially in the house. Dogs like either there's gonna be an earthquake or Christians arrived. It's Kristen. All the flowers start wilting.

All I know is I need to get into survival mode. I'm not having any carbs, I'm starving. So Brittany, she and her Tom and Ariana, Brittany comes, she's like, ha! That's like the saddest longest time ever. Yeah, she's like, well, she's like, I went to Vegas, you know, to act like I was single, but I didn't like any of the guys there, they all grossed me out. So, and I meant some really bad decisions, you know, like putting on this silver

bathing suit with SideBoop. Here, I'll prove it with a flashback. And they're like, yeah, that was a bad decision. And they're like, they're really honest, like, but how do you feel's very honest. But how do you feel? You look great. How do you feel? She's like, I'm going through different feelings. I go from really, really mad to really, really sad.

To really, really sad, sad, bad. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Really crazy. To really, really, really, really, really, really, ha, ha, ha, ha. Then I'm really, really really really really really had Then I'm really really glad Was it a really really really fired? I don't know I want I really really call my day Yeah, and she is like trust me. I know that was me like six months ago

I'm sick this has nothing to do with you and it's nothing like your situation, okay? She is gonna be that one all season long be like I can't get the ketchup bottle up I know that was like me six months ago Inside remember when I really really missed my dad It's like wait a minute. Oh my god. I found this amazing dress at Ross. Oh my god. That's like me six months ago She know you were not every one six months ago Yeah, that's me six months ago. She know, you were not everyone six months ago. Yeah, that was me six months ago, like when I had carbs. Remember when, remember, remember Ronnie, when the Atlanta Falcons, remember when he came over, we watched a Super Bowl,

and the Atlanta Falcons lost to the Patriots in the second half. Oh my god, that was me six months ago. No, she know, you are not my Super Bowl anecdote. Yeah. Britney, if she was like working at that football game, and she was the person calling it, she'd be like, they got two points. And I'm really, really mad and really, really mad and really, really, really, really mad. Really, really, really mad. I look there, Tom Brady. He threw a ball.

They got a touchdown. And I didn't want that touchdown Oh, I hate Tom Brady I hate him I hate him I can't see come out from behind that blacher. We can try to get I hate him Oh my god, that was me six months ago My ball was also deflated And she was like wow are we happy to take all your tables. Like, wow, that's so nice. She's like, I'll take all of your living.

You can go home now. She's like, no literally, I'll take all the tables from your apartment. I'm re-docating. I think you're one of me. I think you're tearing, tearing, tearing. I'll take one of my ancient VR prime family show six months ago.

I talk about how they were mine. You know, I don't understand why people would think our podcast is awful. I mean, we're just like going on and on and on about. So we're just like, hey, let's run bad with mad and had and sad. And then I can't even do it. I got up to F and I was like, I'm totally out of friends. I just can't imagine why we don't win over everyone. Did you notice that Max was in this scene like multiple times?

And they kept saying the car wrong would come on as they max and then he doesn't say anything. And then at the end, he's like, it reminds me of the scene in a six sense when all the cabinets opened up for no reason. I was like, huh, that's that's strange that that happened. Anyway, it doesn't have anything to do with anything So let's go on Well, he is he is the only one that anybody can that Bruce Willis can actually see working Like notice Max is the only one working and then everybody else is like, okay We finished talking in this scene. Let's just walk off without any plates in our hands

It's like fucking Max is doing everything at that restaurant Well, and as I mentioned a few months ago, remember when it was like one, 13 in the morning and I was at a stoplight and Max was crossing the street in front of me. And then the do not, like the, like the don't walk things start to flash and he like sped up his walk to get through. And I was like, that is a fine young man right there. Because with a long intersection

and anyone else would just take in their sweet ass time. But sweet ass time but he was like no no mother I have to get across the crosswalk I was like I like you know that he is he is a good man that max he is a good you know if your mother is Lisa she'd be sitting at home like I heard did you slowed in the crosswalk today I thought we could trust you. I'm taking back your used jeep. You know, as a mother, you do everything you can to prepare them for the world. And you try to do your best and tell them to do their best. And then you find out they slow down in intersection and you wonder, what did I do wrong? Is it because I did not let him meet his own mother is that what it was did I not let my hand blink enough when he was a child so Patrick and Stasi are at spring

down to the song and the life of the party tonight. The song. And the life of the party is just some sitting there having date, right? Wait a minute. Stasi's like, do I look like a skank, though? And Patrick's like, yeah, that's what I like it. And so the waiter comes by and is like, so what do we want? What do we think about for dinner? And Stasi's like, so we like sharing things.

So like, we're going to things. So like, we're gonna share a F. Okay. Brosses, sprouts, and other process parts. This had a process of all. I don't know. And then she's like, also steak. And then she goes, well, how do you like it? And at the same time, they both go, medium rare.

I was like, that's one, you know, they were a real couple because they both ordered a steak, both go, medium rare. I was like, that's one you know, they're real couple because they both ordered a steak, mer, medium rare. Love wasn't the hour. So she goes, I talked to Lisa today about a vent planning. And he's like, you're an event planner. And she just know, but I'm trying to convince Lisa that I am. I think you're that. Yeah, she's like, I get to that. I watch it for like hours. And he just looks at her like, uh, I'm the one in the man bun. And I have an incredible

look on my face. Like, this is not how it was supposed to work out. Yeah. He's like, okay, let me just blow her mind for a moment. This is going to be a real juggernaut. You're going to galvanize everyone. She's like vocabulary, AF. What are those words mean? Come on. You know those words. Stop pretending to be dumb. Or it's like people who can really sing, but they don't want to embarrass themselves at karaoke, so they pretend they can't sing. Yeah. She's dumbing yourself down for Patrick. Yeah. She's dumbing herself down for a guy with a bun. And she's like, I'm not used to being the one in a relationship That's not smart and then the example flashback was her tried to teach Jack's how a picture framework

And the irony is that she had to teach it to Katie and Tom because there's the one that's not around the people Yeah, she's like didn't get to the people part yet. I can't care the entire world by my shoulder. Off-center AF. So she tells them, I listened to your podcast and like it made me immediately feel insecure about mine because like, I want you to listen to mine and then tell me what to do. Yeah, and then that's when he's like, but you turned it into a juggernaut that's galvanized the civilization of mankind. And she's like, what small words please? What's mankind? I don't do well with compound words. Are those the tall grays?

Are those men that like kind bars? So he's like, well, I thought you'd have trouble with cultivated. She goes, I know what cultivated means. Are we talking about yogurt? I just promise not to say the C word anymore, okay? Oh. So yeah, Patrick is like, they get your podcasts once a week. I get you every day and I still want more of you.

And I thought to myself, can you imagine a 24, seven Stasi podcast? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, this is ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh I'm trying to hire a lift car for you. So, you really know how to drive your own bus. She's like, I'm not falling for that one again. He's like, no, I meant it. You can control your life. She's like, oh, dammit. I never know when he's kidding.

I'm always up for the task. Rabbit. How do you want me to respond to that? Just in the game or trying out? Just some way to keep going. Or are you suggesting that I start cleaning people's houses? How about both? Just tell me how to react. I don't want to break up over this MR state, okay?

Could you imagine how amazing it would be if you wanted to task, grab it, and Stasi was there. First of all, be very startling. It's like, okay, I need someone to clean my house. Like, Stasi. I'd be like, ah! But then, like, could you imagine just hiring Stasi and she comes over and she just, she wouldn't even clean, she would just belittle your everything in your apartment.

Oh my god, that's where that is so dirty. Seriously, you want me to clean this toilet? Like, honestly, like it'd be one thing if it was like a little dirty, but this honestly requires a hazmat game. Honestly, this pillowcase, literally, who does this? This is from Target? Ew, awful. She'd be like crying the whole time. She'd be like, oh my god, how does this shirt have a ring around the collar? And I can't even get a ring. I'm so past.

Every room would listen to different emotional response. One room would be disdain, and the other one would be like, this just this this this this duvet reminds me of Patrick. This just this this this do they reminds me of Patrick I just everyone's talking about two days and I'm thinking myself. Where's my do they from Patrick? The next is like her singing I dream to dream At least I found a job that you know, I think we've really learned a great lesson from our breakup, which is don't talk when you're apart and when you're together, don't talk about what happened when you were apart. Yeah, a great lesson. That really worked out well for Stassian Jax.

Yeah, he's basically impregnated somebody. Yeah. And she's like, I'm afraid that like, it's not going to work, so I want it so badly, okay? And then she goes, getting back together, like, it's more of an emotional commitment than it was getting together the first time because this time You're like oh my god, I like you and I love you and now we're gonna make the effort. So it's like harder now I asked are you gonna eat that steak did I order wrong to make a record or do it because I totally can Yeah, I'm sharing a half I feel like if you try to break up with me now. I'd be psycho and say you can't I Just every time she says I'm like that. I just want to do like have an audio clip of her cry

on her Snapchat after they broke up, which is mean with funny. I like that she's basically like, if you break up with me, I'm becoming a swim fan. Okay. Like you're gonna have to watch that movie. He's like, you're fucking crazy, okay. Just what?

I'm just saying I'm gonna make more of an effort. So meanwhile back over at Sir Jack's shows up at work and it's awkward because Brittany has to go up to the bar to order a drink and Jack's there and they're avoiding eye contact and Jack's shifting and being fidgety and he's putting his hand on his side and then up by his nose and by his side. He's like making like turning himself into a cactus, you know, one hand down, one hand up, you know, and then like, yeah, doing like, he's like on a tarmac.

Like this hands are like this way, this way. He's like wiping coke from his ears. And he's like totally discombobulated. It's like, I don't know. But Britney is the worst person to be like trying to avoid eye contact. Cause she avoids eye contact by looking straight into your eyes and be like, are you avoid not content? You avoid not contact. You do it. And then Tom's like, well, bro, well, bro, well, bro, me. Sorry, but I don't got any of them. And she walks. She's like, it's a pie! And so she walks away. But then there's a bowl, and there's controversy online, because people are like, there's lemons right behind them. But I thought they were oranges,

because I wrote it down in my notes, Theo. I was like, I think those are oranges, which of course this place would have oranges over lemons. Well, those also could have been the thingshway. Lemons, in which case, one does not remove a lemon from the nine lemons in the bowl. I think we learned that. So, Jacks,

meanwhile, if you ever wanted to see a master class in Jacks saying things that people want or need to hear, we have Jacks, I believe he was telling us in his confessionals saying that he needs to go to therapy to find out why he does what he does. He needs to get to the bottom of it. I was like, that's nice, Jacks, except we already had like three seasons of you going to therapy doing that. So like, this is totally insincere. Yeah, and it's also really selfish to like go pay somebody to have to listen to you, like talk about how selfish you are. You know what I mean? It's like, there's a better, there's like, it's adding selfish to the fire. Yeah. And he's, so he's telling Tom, like, well, I think I'm going to go home tonight. And Tom's like, the bro, don't think that's a good idea. Okay. Because she was just over here. She didn't even know what her lemon was. So he's like, no, no,

she like, what, we've worked together all day. Like she'll, she'll be totally fine. And then Brittany's telling the girls, girls, I got a confession to make. I'm really, really sad. I'm really, really mad. And I really, really had six or six this sad. I'm really really mad and I really really had six or Jacks this morning I couldn't help but that was all I need. And they're all like we did too. Chef Joe's like you're gonna. Yeah. So, so that was a very very eventful episode of Vanderprimprools, really putting a lot of the other shows on Bravo to shame, especially like Orange County, which did not have nearly as much activity as these first two episodes of the season, season six of Vanderprimprools. So good. I mean, look, this is our second weekend row we've done a a 90-minute episode of Vanderpump Rules because there's just so much. Oh, God. Why did you talk so much, Ben? Listen, sometimes we just have to do a running, running gag about Lisa Vanderbump saying

RRR and also doing sad and mad and mad. Rhyming is the new comedy. Damn sorry I don't have my timer in front of me on this wonderful trip. So don't worry we're gonna have a chef episode coming up and that will be 20 minutes long to make up for our over-talking in this one. Tomorrow is relationship and all day long. Everyone can go buy tickets to our shows. Go to watchrocrapins.com. Buy tickets to our shows so we can get some more sell-outs.

So we can brag to people that we sold out places like Boston, etc. And that's basically it, everyone. Have a great Monday, a Tuesday, and we'll talk to you later. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.