Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: That's a No From Me, Daug

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

Schwartz' friends celebrate his terrible parenting skills after his lizard dies on this week's Vanderpump Rules and The Witches of WeHo vote out a witch. For the new premium bonus on Netflix' Tiger King, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

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We love you guys. Welcome to Watchroll Coroppans, the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on EO Browns. As usual, it's me Ronnie, Ronnie Karram. You can find me out from Roseprix,icks the bachelor wrist, which is about to start covering Um, I don't know that new bachelor's show where they sing stuff in the chalice. I'm calling it in the chalice because I'm a perfect name and here I am with the gorgeous bed and mantle care of The real housewares of kitchen island cartoon, but you can find here on YouTube. And also, a game board, a board game podcast that you just started called Ben Loves Games. What's it called? I'm so sorry. I don't make it. No, no, it's fine. It's totally fine. I was invited

to be one of the rotating guest hosts on a board game podcast called Game Brain, which is celebrated it's one year anniversary. So if you like board games, go check that out. Yeah, do it. So today is a Vanderprim Rules recap. We are trying, we're testing out live streaming today for our Patreon app because we had so much fun doing it last week on Instagram live just doing, we love doing live shows and we do these, we a couple videos as you know a week for crap and on demand where you can watch it on your smart TV and all that through patreon so we figured we would try this live stream option out so some of you are watching this live and some of you will have that option just go to patreon sign up at the five dollar level you can cap that so you're not

paying a million dollars a month just cap it at five dollars and you can get that we've got new t-shirts up this month we've got vote been run 2020 which actually is not looking like too bad of an idea at this point seriously we've also got gather shirts but instead of gather they say isolate you know we stick with the times and what else bonus episodes all that good stuff on patreon i think that's all we have to play today, right, Ben? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think we're just right now just plugging this crap and it's on demand thing

and seeing how this works, integrating zoom with YouTube and Patreon. We're just sort of like, you know, it's crazy times and we're doing crazy things. Just try to make things work here and though in the watcher crap is multiverse. It sure is. I've got a lot of windows open on my computer, I'll tell you that, I'm just like, what the heck?

I know, I have a lot going on, but we're just trying to make things happen and we're experimenting with technology. Thank God for technology in these times, right? Connecting us all. Well, they, oh. Oh boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. Once we get it working, once we're sure that this work this work today this test which you can view this test as a

Crappens on demand video anyway if you're a member over there if we get this to work We'll try doing some live streams during the week for you guys stuck at home. Yeah, and that's because what's for everybody involved Yeah, because what's cool about this versus just your standard Crappens on demand is that this is actually live streaming to YouTube, so you can actually write comments along and stuff like that and everyone can comment, et cetera, just sort of recapture that vibe that we had on Instagram live. So yeah, so that's what's going on.

Yeah. Okay, everybody, so here we are with very, what'd you think about this episode? Then this is episode eight, 12 of Vanderpump rules is called all dogs go to have a dog meaning the dead ass lizard because you can't trust Goddamn Tom Schwartz to do anything. And people are calling Tiger Tiger King abuse. Why is nobody on town Tom SantaVall is asked for not being able to keep a fucking lizard alive for three weeks. Okay. I know. I know they really should. Oh, we should mention, by the way, that our bonus episode this week is recapping the first episode of Tiger King.

We've had a lot of people say that we should be recapping that show. But guess what? We've already started the process. Okay. So go check that out because we are already talking about Tiger King. It's very exciting. But yeah, you're right. Tom Schwartz, I mean, yeah, why?

The problem is that Tom Schwartz, he, here's what he really needed to do. He needed to release a country music video. And then he needed to blame all the problems with dog on a lady in full on, you know, cat print, which conveniently does happen this episode. So, you know, cat print, which conveniently does happen this episode. So, you know, yeah. I saw lizard and lizard's old man. So anyway, yeah, so I enjoyed the episode. I'm not going to lie. There's lots of petty bulls

shit in it. And we saw our friend Danny Pellegrino in the background during a scene. So you know, had a little bit of everything for me. I didn't see Danny Pellegrino. We were going to go to this party because we like Tom and Ariane in real life. And we were going to go and we had some crap and stuff. But also, I'm going to look stupid on camera. Could you, it's like who invited Dom Deloise to the party, you know? Well, one of the issues was that it was a Tuesday night

and it was in Glendale. So, a Tuesday night is just, you know, work days are hard. You had a lot of stuff in the thing or something that night. And yeah, and on top of that, like, I don't know how to dress extra. Like, and I'm not saying that, like,

I just can't be extra. It just, what am I gonna do, put on another plaid? I just didn't know how I- Well, I'm not saying that like I just can't be extra just what am I going to do put on another plaid I just didn't know how I did that to be extra old maybe does not sell extra okay it's like look at Ronnie in his extra Hawaiian print shirt like I can't yeah I just I just don't really have any have any things oh by the way here's an update for my dad. He said he went to Costco this morning. Dad. Why? Why? Because that's how parents are. Parents want the, I think parents want to die in the, in the coronavirus time.

I feel like my parents would be like, oh, apocalypse told ya. It's like, okay, you beat everybody to heaven, dad, congrats. Yeah, well, the good news is he said the story was empty and that they used Chloric swipes on everything he touched. So, he said it was actually the best Costco experience you ever had. You know what? It's time for miracles.

It's time for... This is life. It's time for your dad to start a Yelp account is what it's time for. Just your dad's reviews. Mr. Maddler's reviews on everything. Okay. Anyway, the point is this... It's the best Costco experience I have I had, Ben.

Talk about it. That's what I should have been. Extra. I should have just... Listen, the point is this. The best Costco experience I have I had been. Talk about that's what I should have been, extra. I should have just listened to Costco's and gone. I should have just dressed up like my dad with the Costco cart and just been like, does the best Costco experience I ever had? Okay. I do, I'm following along and I'm loving it. So here we go.

The first episode, okay, the first scene, Trixi Monaco has found the meth, okay, this cast is passing a bag around a meth the season. We see them all go crazy on it, mostly Jacks, let's be honest, and he wouldn't be passing it, so I don't know what I'm talking about, but basically they're passing around meth and Trixi has it right now. So it's like the talking meth, okay, Mick Trixi, Monica, has a talking math because she's singing, she's going, ready to go, just take it out to the flow. Flow, flow, flow, to the flow, take it out, take it out,

and let us go. How many lyrics are you gonna try and fit in there Trixi? Okay, you're Trixi. I need three words from you at a time. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, hey, let's go, okay? That's it. Yeah. Yes. And then, you know, yesterday on Twitter, right before the show aired, we had a pull-up.

And we said, the poll asked, what will Britney's first words be to Jack's? What will Britney's first words to Jack's be on tonight's Vanderpump rules. And the poll options were, we're married or you're my husband or high husband or we did it. So we got the answer to that. What when the poll? 50% of people said Britney's first words to Jack's in this episode would be, we're married.

I agree, that's what I would have voted for. Well, we were close. We didn't quite get it. The way the scene opened with Jackson Brittany returning to Valley Village is Jack's actually initiating it and saying, actually coming into our house is a married couple babe. Wow.

And then she said, you have to carry me husband and wife. So we were close, but didn't quite nail it. Yeah, you were close, the husband and wife is in there. So that was good. I also noticed that they have an American flag right in their front yard, which, listen, I'm an American. I love America. I'm a consumer.

Love that about America. I think we do carbs the best. I think we do junk snacks that we do a lot of things the best. Okay, I'm proud to be an American. But ever since 9-11, some people are like, I have a flag. I'm more American than you. I'm streaming, you're like streaming.

And of course, Brittany is one of those fucking people. Oh my God, do they not have a flag for the valley that you could put up? I actually think it was Jack who put that flag up. I would put it could put up? I actually think it was Jack's who put that flag up. I would put it on Jack's. I put it on Jack's. I would go for that. It could be a joint effort.

I'm surprised I haven't put up a, I'm surprised I've not actually hung something that said just my earring with a bunch of like cans just dangling down over their door. That's our wind time. Just a bunch of like old rusted, you know, Campbell soup cans. Like, like, like, we're so, like Jackson, you hear

that the wind's blowing and we're so married. She probably I guarantee that Brittany every weekend, she still made her friends to her rice at her, you know, and then, uh, and then this whole coronavirus thing happens and everyone's talking

up on their rise. She's like, it just says, it's just hard because this is supposed to be the best year of my life. I got married and I can't hit my right ceremony anymore. Fucking birds dead all over the neighborhood for meeting that rice. So the world the birds dying to be the best year of all. It's like we're supposed to go on our honeymoon and we couldn't even go on

our honeymoon because coronavirus is just it's just like I know that people are dying and stuff but it's just a hard for us. So then we go over to Tom Tom and everybody's getting to work and shorts is like hi Max. Waste of life shorts over there and Max is like you smell like liquor of course looking behind him on the wall like there's something on the wall behind him like well hey man you still smell like liquor, of course looking behind him on the wall. Like there's something on the wall behind him. Like, hey, man, you still smell like liquor. Max looks like a bowling ball that has just been waxed. What the hell, dude? Is it moisturizer?

Because it's like from head to toe. He looks like he's been waxed. He reminds me of a bowling ball. One time I went bowling, I think I've actually told this story before in the podcast, which just shows how long our podcast has been on the air for that I've even, I'm getting around to telling the story a second time. I remember one time going to Mount Kiscoe Bowl and a ball rolled up through that thing,

and it just said Ruth. And I just thought that was the funniest thing. A big red ball that said Ruth. That's what he reminds me of. Ruth, the bowling ball. I sat on the said rondel. Ruth. That's what he reminds me of. Ruth, Ruth, the bowling ball. I said, when I said, Randall, see, well, that, see that makes sense because you're Randall. But like, imagine just an anonymous bowling ball that just rolls up and it's like dark red,

Maroonish, Thomas Burgundy and just, of course, Ruth had a dark, because you know, Ruth is like, you know, I got a new bowling ball, but to thank this bowling alley, I'm donating this one. That's right. It's the roof Yeah, to Ruth and Ruth was a tricky bowling ball I remember my friend Sarah wound up to go like do her whole like you know to roll the ball and she

And the ball just like fell off her fingers and just it didn't even just like a flying back or forward It just fell down I'm fucking huge-finkered Ruth Ruth slippery Ruth that's what Maxis. Ruth, the bull. The gigantic fat slippery fingers. And you know people with their names on their bowling ball? Like that's actually because you care so much about bowling.

And then, so you get your bowling ball custom made in the bowling ball shop at the front of the sky lanes. Yeah. And when they do, it's like they measure your hand and everything. And so people who get specialized balls are like, oh, you know what? My thumb in the standard way. when they do it's like they measure your hand and everything and so people who get specialized balls are like oh You know what my thumb in the standard way. I need my thumb my thumb hold to be over to the ride a little bit more and then yeah You get the Ruth ball and it says fucked up ball you're breaking your hand from trying to get your thumb the way that Ruth liked it

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. I will I literally like it's like one of those like exactly right. I will I literally like it's like one of those like foundational memories. I will always remember Sarah's going right in like Pearl Ruth down the the the alley and Ruth just falls and it was like it's not like Ruth slipped off and she went off this way or that it just was like a straight on vertical plop and then Ruth just sat there and it was so hilarious that Sarah a middle just ran away and peed. So the point is nobody's bowling. They're all at Tom Tom and did you notice that Max just keeps winking at the beginning? He's like, Hey Tom, hey, Hey Tom, like jerking his head and winking at the same time. I didn't see it. He's the other Tom. He's like, Hey Tom, Hey Tom, I actively try not to look at Max when he's talking to be honest. Well, he's not looking at you

while he's talking. So that's true. May as well. So meanwhile, Tom and Ariana, sand of all are over at Sir bartending because you know Ariana is you know bartending that depression away and Dana comes up Everybody needs to help their depressive a bartending shift That's sir Next to like DJ Danny Danny What's his name? There's that DJ that they have after after James who's just like DJ And once his name, there's that DJ that they have after James, who's just like DJ Dani, because that's all anybody ever called him. I'm sorry, okay?

DJ Dani, you're not James, so stop it. Get out of here. So, Dan is like, so how was everything? Tell me everything. Tell me how was the wedding. And then we also cut to this random shot of Danica, bossing someone around. She goes, can you bring that cure royal? Let me show you this Raspberry.

Like put a raspberry in it. No, put a raspberry. Can you make sure the raspberry in it? Put a raspberry in it. Okay, thanks. Earning that manager tech. Care, here. Also by the way.

Also, who puts a raspberry in a cure Royal? For crying out loud, these people are monsters. So then back with Swart, he's like, oh, I really missed Tom Miss Tom Tom is the only place without Katie on a couch. Max is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so Swartz is talking about how he's mourning the loss of his lizard,

and he's going to have a big meaningful memorial at the Montreal pool tomorrow. Where the most meaningful things happen, is that the Sky Bar? Yeah. So he's like, oh, we only knew each other three weeks, but we were connected, bro. And Max is like, uh, uh, you know what? I'm going to get a RIP dog tattoo. Yeah, bro. Yeah, it's going to say RIP dog. Yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. Yeah. That's right next to my roof tattoo. Yeah, bro. So Max is a Ruth like they think they're bringing out this beautiful new bowling

ball. Everybody's going to want a ball with. And then it just thuds down right in the middle of the floor. And some girl with a way in peace. Yeah. He is a he is a Ruth. He's a Ruth. Sorry. Max is a plot Ruth. He's a Ruth ball. He's a Ruth ball that just fell off your fingers. Casting Ruth. Yeah. He's the reverse of Carl and Lindsay. The fingers actually coming out. So anyway, data, meanwhile Dana is talking about how Max, when she went to Max, apologized, how he did not accept her apology. And he does not want us to be together. And like we're not speaking. So, you know, it's going well. I'm like, it is going well.

That is like you were so lucky. Max is not speaking to you. Like congratulations. You avoided a huge mine. Well, not like you guys have been together for years, dude. And Maryana is like, yeah, like you don't even know if he's being honest or not until like you really know him better. Like for example, watch. Tom, I can tie a cherry with my tongue. Braille, you're not even supporting my jump rope career. That's when you've been together a long time. Right there. So Max has decided that Danica's been spreading too many rumors.

And so now he's going to ban her for Tom. Oh, no, he's going to 86 her. Oh, I'm sorry, 86 her. And these people, like, I get that you're trying to throw around restaurant lingo to make it seem like you've worked there for more than five days and have some kind of working knowledge that 86 means we're out of it. Or it means throw it out.

OK, it doesn't mean ban. It's banned. OK, so just anyone who's never had the pleasure of working in a restaurant is just full of shit. OK, wow. We're out of Danica. Nobody says that. If anything, if anything, we have actually just,

we have a good supply of Danica. Yes, we sure do. Dead I Danica, we're in stock, okay? Yeah, we are in stock. That is one thing that has not been, has not been binged on in the coronavirus apocalypse, okay? So yeah, I've got a 86er and Tom Schwartz is like, what? So then we cut to Danica who's by the fridge. Oh, well, we find out the story from Max. He's like, yeah,

like she's disrespectful, bro, and like she talks way too much. And like she's even been disrespectful to Richardson. So I love like every five years. There's a story line about how someone disrespected Richardson. It's like, it's back. It's back. Last time was when James disrespected Richardson and they had to have a sit down with Lisa at pump. I think that this cast is just like, you know what? Nobody disrespected Richardson, but we'd like to point out that there is actually one minority hired at Sir. back to Richardson, but we'd like to point out that there is actually one minority hired it, sir. Yeah, exactly.

So then we go back to Danica and she's wondering like, like, just talk about this whole situation. She goes like, like, I heard about me being rude to Richardson, but it was like stepped under the rug and like never spoken about it again. So I didn't think it was that huge of a deal. Like, I like that she heard a rumor about her. She's like, apparently I was rude to him. I don't know, I was just hearing, I heard this crazy rumor.

I heard that I was rude to Richard's and did you hear about that? Oh my God, isn't that crazy? Yeah. And then we see a clip of her telling the girls at lunch the other day, which we didn't see at the time. And she's like, he said, you're talking behind my back to people.

And I'm like, we're both managers, so like, if you have something to say, let's manage our talk, okay? Cause we're both managers, so. Yeah, and Max is like, you know, she's like nice to my face and everything, but like, as soon as she leaves here, she like goes to serve and talks shit, you know?

Like, you guys are both, you realize you guys are all doing that. And that's actually, by the way, like the reason why you're on the show, to get on the show, you have to talk to each other, you realize that's how the show works, right? Yeah, and Bambi get's other from someone else's restaurant, it's just so weak, it's just such a weak place to come from.

And if you wanna talk professional behavior, how many of your employees have you fought? Sir. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Max is like, yeah, she's screwed me over, to come from. And if you want to talk professional behavior, how many of your employees have you fucked? Sir. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Max is like, yeah, she screwed me over like multiple times. And like, you know, the whole

rumor about me saying on the owner of Tom Tom Ridiculous, then like, screwing over Adriana, that situation, Ridiculous. And then her spreading rumors to Dana, that's the straw that broke the can. Okay, you're so full of shit. Let's go over these. Okay, the whole rumor about you saying I'm the owner of Tom Tom, you probably did that. I have no proof. The screen go for Adriana. That came from Adriana. That's not a rumor. And then the rumor to Dana is that you're with some big booby, you know, Bimbo at which ever Jones has $13 Russell sprouts, okay? What's they both do?

Yeah, not a rumor. Everybody on Bravo this week is like, it's a rumor like a mic on shot. Oh, you know, this rumor. It's got to stop. It's not a rumor. Adam was sending bigs. This is not a rumor. Okay.

Max is fucking some big, titty Bim from San Diego who moved here for him. Yeah, and of course, you know, Tom Schwartz, who really, he's just, he's like, oh man, she's a disruption, she's a disruption, and I fully stand by your side on your decisions. What were we talking about again? He hasn't heard of it yet. Congratulations on finally tying the knot. Here's some rice in your face. It's like, bro, you're not at the wedding anymore. So Dan, Dan, Dan, Danica, I guess. So she's like, so that's what's interesting going on with me, Raquel, by this refrigerator, which we just totally

happen to be standing by right now. And Raquel's like, yeah, speaking of interesting, Lala has reached out to me and wants to talk about a lot of different stuff. Yeah. I mean, she wants to talk about James and I wanna talk with her about things and I just wanna tell her that what she said about me

was not cool and I'm really hoping that it's gonna be a big closure for us. Let me show you the text that she sent me and Danny Cariza and she's like, um, yeah, she told me about you and James and I wanted to tell you how my drinking has affected me and the people around me, especially the people I love the most. It's like, okay. So Lala's going to come in here and try and have a storyline so she doesn't have to pick up dog shit for a five minutes Yeah, exactly So then we go back over to living hell on earth, which is Jackson, Brittany's house and there's all these boxes in their living room and Brittany is like look at all these boxes. I mean they're from our wedding website remember when we got

We'll marry last weekend? God that was fun. We're married! As much money as I spent Kentucky, this better be fucking good. That's so much money. Yeah. First money, he says, has first much money as we spent on this wedding. These better be some good ass wedding gifts. It's your registry, okay? Yeah, you picked it out. You literally, you literally told people specifically what you want them to buy for you. And of course, they picked dish towels. Who puts that on a registry, okay? That's some weak shit.

Like, what is that? What Charlie's gonna buy you? Dish towels, really? You've got to get some more expensive shit. Yeah, Jack. All right. So, Jack's just like, if I were in charge of this registry, it would be a car park or tickets to the kings or maybe even a jet ski you know something I could use I'm like enjoy riding that jet ski through Valley Village. Yeah, a lot of coke and mirror trays

Okay, you can't get that in North Z's in Yeah, I don't know if you can register for a social media job in Tampa, so So Britney's like everyone has been sending me texts, first, next, notes and letters. Saying it was the best time of their law when was the best time of their life. I'm like, I don't think that you saw all the air quotes around that, that's sarcasm, Britney.

Yeah, being in that hot humid Kentucky sun, all afternoon, that was the best time of my life. Oh, really? You like it? Yeah. When Jackson's like, listen, I wanted to get as much basic white people shit in there as I could, all right? I didn't want to forget anything, you know, my speech, you know, that's why it was so good. Like I couldn't forget wings or friends, you know, really rough writing those. So he goes, I wanted to put him down in PowerPoints and the producers like, so bullet points, you're like, no, PowerPoints.

Well, what's the difference between a bullet point and a PowerPoint? And then they put up on screen, you know, like a PowerPoint presentation of why Jackson's an idiot. And that shit is so cute when you're like a hot young model in LA, like pretending that you were in the Navy or that you were a Marine and that you're a hero and a super model.

It's not really as cute when you're like, I don't know, like pouring over your really two tight polyester pants and your sweaty silk shirt and your fucking waxed face and age spots and like coconose. It's like a saturday be that stupid. You understand that, right? Yeah, it is much sadder. And I appreciated the producers trolling him with this shitty PowerPoint presentation

with like a font that's like a relative to Comic Sans but not quite. And then the bullet points said, pool party and this and that. So then we go back to Brittany and she's like, I can't believe it's over. I almost wanted a crowd when we were leaving the castle. I'm like, it will never end. Don't worry. It's not going, it's not over because you will never let it end for us.

Yeah. I'm sure that parts of your DNA will always be all over that castle. It's like that castle will never recover from the cast of Vanderpump rules coming in there rubbing their shit all over everything So she's like, no, I'm tired. Let's take a nap. I'm trying to say I was just thinking of an app Yeah, she's like hey husband and left. Hey, so you gonna carry me upstairs You know, it was a threshold thing every site or was a threshold So he carries her off and there's just like a trail of sad cans, you know, clanking on the steps. So I'm going to just carry it up the staircase.

Just carried. That's work. Why? Then we go over to the sky bar. And we just see this, we hear this Oregon playing. It's almost like a Southern Baptist funeral organ playing, but we're seeing the Sky Bar, and we're seeing just just lots of boobs and bikinis, but hearing funeral organs playing. And then we realize that we are here at the memorial service for dog.

This was very hard to me. Do some of that. Or just just this whole funeral for a dog. Pass the torch over to the kids, okay? Yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah, so Tom Schwartz starts, he has like a sort of like poster board. He has like easels and it's a whole presentation like someone had to go to kinkos for this right so he's giving his his eulogy is all sad and he's talking about how how dog was supposed to last 15 to 20 years but only made it three weeks which to me is like massive indictment on that household right like yeah hope you get pregnant, Sam.

And then he, you know, at first he sort of think this is all a tongue and cheek thing, but he's actually, Tom is like genuinely sad about it. He's, he starts talking about how dog was, he's like, ah, he really struggled with depression, and I really mean that. He was really lethargic and dejected and picked up knitting and it's fighting with his business partners. It was so sad. Oh wait

Oh, Bobo that was you They've brought in accounts just for Katie to sit on am I around doing terrible projects He's like I tried to do everything I could to resuscitate I poured hot water on him to do everything I could to resuscitate him. I poured hot water on him. Then I poured cold water on him. I'm like, so he died of pneumonia. Is that what we're going with this?

The fuck? I stepped on him, I sat on him, kicked him. I threw him in a basket. That was fun. Score two points. So, these like giving us your apology, and then these like waitresses and bikinis come over with these giant punch bowls.

And like he's genuinely getting himself choked up about it and you just have these like giant punch bowls and again boobs and punch bowls and we're cutting, they keep cutting to like sunbaters and giant ass and everything. The sad thing is that this stuff happens in LA a lot. You know, like you will go to a bar and there will be a funeral for a lizard happening, you know, just like a few feet away. So I just wrote the scene that's a struggle. So then Christian is there and they're like, where's Jackson, Brittany? Who cares?

Aren't you guys so glad they're not there? Like how peaceful is this? But it turns out they're over Villa Rosa. And because Lisa is like now just ahead of the mob. Like, yeah. Come and see me if you want to talk. I need Villa Rosa. It's like Jesus, we're in the same room right now.

Can we take five minutes and have a talk? No. You must take a ride by the first sword and then cross the mount. If you guess the riddle to get over it, it's like, oh Jesus. I know. It is really. I mean, I just, I can't imagine that it's easy to get to Velarest. It's like really hard to drive up into the Hollywood Hills. It's just it's twisty and turning and it's inconvenient for everyone involved. But you know what? Especially in Jack. Especially in picture you are, because the higher you are and the

twistier those hills are, and then there's streets with no name, or they all have, like ten of the streets have the same name, but it's like making a sharp, you turn downhill then a sharp, you turn up a hill and like, yeah, that's terrible. It is, and on top of that, if you are lucky enough to see road signs, what happens is, you'll get to some strange intersection where one road is going to the left, one's going sort of like sort of left, one's sort of going right. And like Ronnie said, they're sort of going up and down. And then they'll have road signs and road signs.

You'll see two streets. And the signs will just be pointing in random directions. Like, oh, well, you see a street to their left and a street to your right, but the road signs point up and down. Yeah, it's like why we use big adventure. He's like, what the hell is going on? I mean, a swan crosses your path because do you remember when Lisa swans got out and people were riding the West Hollywood Twitter, they're like, uh, there's a swan in the middle of the road and people are chasing a swan. If anyone sees a swan, I guess call this number. Oh, I don't remember that at all.

Surprise, I blocked it out. So, um, uh, yeah, so, so Lisa answers the door. She says, Mrs. Couchy. Oh, welcome. And, uh, Jack's has like a giant floral offering, huge, it was expensive. And he's like, oh, what is this for? And Jack's like, oh, we just brought it for you. He's doing that very, that voice he puts on only with Lisa. That drives me nuts, where he's super sweet. And just like, oh, you know, just this aw-shock sky. I'm just like your son who messes up every now and then I just brought this.

I'm just sweet inside. I hate it I hate it because it's so fake. Yeah, it's too much work, Jack So we know that you got that for your wedding and you didn't have to bring a plant and dye your eyebrows in the same day He looks crazy So she's like would you like a glass of K-lease everybody's extra so basically She's like we want to have a family soon. Okay, we used to spray and pray,

but now we just don't pray anymore. And I was like, wow, wait a step, mamma on the heart. I know. Also, just the idea of Jack spraying, Brittany is so vile, so terrible. I don't need that image at all. Spray and pay, pray. Vanderpump does a good imitation of Britney, though.

She's like, I've never seen someone so excited to marry Elusa. You came down the aisle like this. It was like a broken, pest dispenser. She's like, yeah, since we're giving away things that other people since we're re-gifting terrible terrible gifts. Here's the gift. I would like to give you a T-set From Tiffany's I lose Tiffany Tiffany Hattish. No you idiot. Just take it. Oh, it says To Lisa love Taylor Armstrong who's that? Oh never mind We got a Taylor Armstrong who's that? Oh, never mind. We got a Taylor Armstrong G-SAM.

We got a hundred percent real authentic Taylor Armstrong T-SAM. It just keeps putting itself in your luggage every time you go somewhere. Why is that T-POP grinding my luggage? Every time I pour the tea I get halfway up the cup and it goes, I'm out. I saw something about going Oklahoma on my tea. Yeah. So she's like, is my advice to you as a gorgeous married couple? Don't marry Jacks.

Who's you late for that? All right, give out. Yeah. And by the way, the reason my Lisa's giving them their gift now instead of at the wedding, she's like, well, I broke this all the way to Kentucky, but then I realized you probably break it because you're both animals Yes, brand-pay pray So yeah, so Britney's like yeah, well we're both a lot stronger because of everything that we've gone through And grown as a couple and individually so next time they cheat on now he's cheating, but at least he's grown. While he cheats.

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. That crap then's commercial. So then we see Dana and Danica talking.

Wait. Yeah, we're back at the party. Dana arrives, but Danica's like,, Max, can I talk to you? So she pulls him aside and it's like, so what's your problem? Um, like what's all this shit talking about me then? Yeah. And he's like, um, it started with you. Okay, not me.

She's like, okay, well, I have every right to tell you something. I have a right to tell Dana something. I've every right to tell Dana something. If like something about you, it was me the wrong way. Okay, it's like, am I supposed to be quiet if you send out a cure royal without a raspberry? No, it needs a raspberry.

Raspberry and a cure royal, please. And he's like, oh, oh, so she's your friend and you're just looking out for her then. She's, yeah, is that what you're saying? She's just your friend. And she's like, no, she works for me. And that's why I'm looking out for her. Okay, he's like, he's like,

you were a complete bitch to her, the first week she worked there. And she told me all about it. So I'm like, so you realize you're just saying that Dana talked shit behind Dana, because back is that what you're saying? Oh, I guess other people can do that. Yeah.

So I'm on and now you're talking shit about me and saying I'm 86 from my sister restaurant, my own sister restaurant. I mean, could you just have a comedy called sister? Is that a sister sister? No, I don't think so. Manager manager? That would be the name of our show because we're both managers.

You should have had a manager talk. My own sister restaurant that does not include my other sister restaurant, Pomp seriously. He's like, uh, why would I tell you I was waiting for you to try and come into Tom Tom so I could tell you that you couldn't come into Tom Tom. She's so that's how much of an asshole you are. You want me to try and come into Tom Tom. So you can tell me I can't come into TomTom. So you can tell me, I can't come into TomTom.

And he's like, yeah. Yeah. Literally what I just said. And she goes, you should have told me months ago, something like that. I actually wrote down you should have told me Moths ago, which all enough seems to like, I imagine them telling time and like units of Moths. That does actually make sense to me in a weird way. But so she's clapping like you should have told me.

And we cut over to the toms and stand up all like, dude, don't clap at max like that. Dude, it's insane. I don't like it when she claps. Yeah, I don't like it. There's someone have a juice box for me. I'm scared. And so I welcome.

Congratulations. This plant isn't gonna work So much clapping dude So then the Tom Tom's are talking and Santa was like hell the joy dude He's like, that was just really intense watching it like Dan and his energy like maybe take it down a notch Because Max says that she's a disruption, you know? Like, he counts wine glasses. So he needs to be focused.

Yeah, because they're like, how are you doing Max? He's like, oh man, I'm just sort of like, achy and rattled, you know? And like, that's why 86 are from TomTom, you know? Because I have to, I'm busy enough as it is, I have to focus, you know, and I can't have her coming in and making me upset. Yeah.

He's like, I 86, and Santa Claus is like, so it's personal, and he goes, no. And he's like, all right, so. And shorts is like, so it's not all personal, right? Right? Because remember when I said I was in your side, it's not all personal, right? It's all their things, too. And Santa and sandable is like all right percentage rise like what's the personal part of it is like 90% well that's that fucked up max because that's like all personal okay.

We all know the policy of Tom Tom you cannot any sick someone for personal reasons unless it's Dassy shorter because I mean obviously it's Dassy right You need to call them it to in the to a.m. In the morning the night before a screen with them call them a dumb bitch and then 86 them all right. We have to call bro. It's much more fun that way So you then so then short starts to but he starts to backpell. He's like oh, yeah Yeah, that's not right. Oh, I wish you would have told me that to start with. I was on your side.

I was being objective by just blindly being on your side and not asking any questions about the situation. Mom. He knew exactly what was going on. This guy is so incompetent. How does he have this job? It makes me crazy watching him have this job. He's like, I didn't know it was personal.

What part didn't you think was personal? He said he didn't want her in there because she was spreading rumors about his girlfriend. Yeah. It actually Tom Schwartz drives me nuts. Like really, really drives me nuts. Again, it used to be cute like a decade ago, but now I was just like, you're so old at sad, you know? I know. I know. You were like young and sad and could fit in like model jocks, you know? That was cute. Like cute young people are adorable, but are dumb young people are adorable.

I'm going to dumb old people. Trust me. So there's like a special place in nowhere for us, okay? Dumb old people just end up doing podcasts forever, okay? Save yourself. Save yourself. Save yourself. Okay. Don't, don't be committed to this, to this future.

So then Shina walks over to, uh, to Katie and Stasi. So obviously, Kristen sat here and, but like, I was like, staying in her room and like, she was like, she asked me to come over tonight. So I'm like, if you have anything that you want me to, like, rewind her, like, I'm happy to do that in a very nice right way okay what do you mean to say um it isn't even about Carter to me like it started that way is it annoying yeah but like Kristen like you can't have a conversation because like you can't be honest with me and like your life is off limit so So, and basically, Stasi's like, yeah,

Kristen worships failure, you know? And I can't with her anymore. So she was like, I'm rock candy. But I feel like we're there, I'm supposed to feel like we're like, she thinks you're unhappy about something in your own life and you're like, bitch, like,

I'm on her. Yeah. She said that like she's doing like a lot of social video work and stuff. And then she has like James May and like house renovations And like she's like really busy and like you know Katie like you don't you don't even have any sort of famous enchiladas That you can make on a reliable basis so so then the bite becomes about witches of what witches of we hoe wine which yeah, you know I don't know what's a great idea to begin with

They're also supposed to be three working this together and they're not all working it together. And Katie's not doing shit, right? Kristen seems to be the only one doing anything. And Stasi's like, I can't do, I can't sell something, I don't believe in. I'm like, you worked at Sur for many years, okay? You peddled that Jolani and Seabass to lots of people,

you can do it, you can do it. You can do it. You can put a book on the notes app on your phone, okay. You peddle that Jolani and C-Bass to lots of people. You can do it. You can do it. You can do a book on the notes app on your phone, okay? Using Siri, you can sell some t-shirts, okay, ma'am. Yeah. And Katie's like, um, that's convenient narrative because just because I don't on a business doesn't mean that I'm not busy, okay, I do, I do a lot with my day. And then we just sort of see her like around the house, knitting, sitting down, lying down, signing with the dog. A lot of sign, like she even gives us dirty looks so that like there's shitty, Katy faces

when she's alone in her house. Like they show her laying on her bed with her dog and she's like, she's like, I'm finding projects all the time. Like, what is she turned on? What's it turned on? Oh, no, talking about Katie, that's how that's how that's how annoying Katie is. She even gets my Alexa to be like, shut up. Because Alexa's Alexa's like, I have something to add to this situation. Okay. She asked me to do everything for her. She literally does nothing. I do her knitting,

and I'm a robot. She's like, and then it cuts back to, first of all, the poor cameraman who have to be stuck at Cade and Tom's house must be like, what are we doing? What is this show, even? You know, so they're getting her doing nothing, basically, and it cuts back to her and she goes, I'm finding the projects all the time. So Katie's doing them, but she's finding them. Yeah. So Katie's like, that honestly like pisses me off. Like I can go on Pinterest and steal other people's funny quotes too and slap them on a T shirt. Come on.

At least that involves some sort of motivation. At least Chris is taking the time to go on to Pinterest and find those quotes and decide they're good enough to go on to her t-shirts. At least there's that agreed. So she was like, okay, so all permission number one is all night. Yeah, please. And Katie goes, um, ecstasy is I give zero fucks and Katie goes, put that on your shirt. I'd, it would probably do nicely actually.

And if you did it, you would actually maybe like earn some money off of it. Yeah, probably a lot of Erica Jane fans are already looking at that. Yeah. What were you thinking about stealing things? So Dana and Max back to Dana and Max at the party talking. Yeah. So now they're talking about their situation and Max is back to Dana and Max at the party talking. Yeah, so now they're talking about their situation and Max is telling Dana that,

Danica is the source of all their problems and she's, you know, like she's like the worst and Dana's like, well, from my perspective, it sort of seemed like you were happy that things didn't work out and you were like excited to get this way out of the relationship. He's like, that's not true.

That's not true. I'm so sorry I got caught up. I was like, hey, I wonder if this live streaming thing is working. And so I looked at it and it's like all these comments, like, here's what we're having issues. Not the time to be looking at that. Sorry.

Oh, one of the issues. Buffering, buffering, spinning wheel, spinning wheel. So I guess that's not really working out. We're gonna have to try again later. Good experiment. Yeah, this worked out great guys. But anyway, the recap goes on, darling. I'm sorry, I even looked. So what was the last thing you said? So I don't repeat it. Um, it was basically a Dana saying that Max was happy that he had a, um, like a way to get out of the relationship. Oh, yeah, it's real. That's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, say we can't, okay? But like, I know I like you and I like knew it the moment I

like touched your lips. He's like bowling balls are not meant to stay on fingers, okay? All right, I have to be free. I'm sorry I've reached out this relationship. That's just the way it is. All right. Okay, you know, and so she's like, why are you so worried about what other people say?

He's like, no one, I'm not, but no one has ever talked about me positively. She's like, uh, I have, I guess that didn't matter. Yeah, I mean, who cares? This is so fake. You're stupid. Listen, I watched a bachelor. I'm used to like just pretending fake relationships are real,

but this one's sad. Like you're begging for max. Get some self respect. It's bad enough that you went back to let Max last week. And we're like, hmm, decided I'd needed a storyline after all. So I'm going to forgive Max. That was pathetic enough. Stay away from Max. Okay. Get some self respect back. If you're going to carry this, oh, day down, day and I literally like jump back into the pool. And like the, the actual pool that's right behind you, just jumping that pool. There's like three

hot guys in there. Just date one of them. Yeah. You'll already be the cleanest person on this cast. And that'll mean something. Maybe she was just triggered because the first time we met Dana was at the Mondrian when she was up in that suite that they got last season. So when she's like back there, she's like, oh my God, must find a guy to be with. Otherwise, I'm gonna be stuck in a suite again

with those guys. Yeah, look how far you've come. Yes, full circle. Speaking of full circle, we now go to Vanderpump dogs, home of so many controversies over the past year. And Lisa arrives with two big floppy dogs, and she brings them inside and Lala is there pretending to be a volunteer. She's like basically picking up a box of something. And Lisa finds her goes, LOOOOLOOOOL How are you?

Oh my god, I'm so happy. Just did some dog food. Yeah. And then Lisa throws something at John Sessa, who scurries away. I was actually surprised that we did not get a big John Sessa moment. Yeah.

Oh yeah, she's probably relegated him to the background for a while. Yeah, cause he had trouble. He's lucky to have a job that one. He certainly is. So they start talking, Jameson, Raquel, come in. Wow, everybody is shocked. She's like, I didn't know they were coming in. Oh, yeah, goob smacked. Wow, who would have thought another unexpected moment of drama would happen here at my store? I can't believe all these things, all these truths that come out that were never planned for. So, Lala is like, yeah, I'm just here because I'm volunteering my time. You're still good for Saturday, Brick out, but you're's gonna have to snack and some coffee and some

girl talk girl. And Lisa does actually seem to be a little rattled by the fact that James is there. She's saying how she really had to basically cut James off. And she's like, I had to make him listen by not saying anything at all. It's almost as if it were magic. I can't talk right now, but if you'd like to come to my house... Oh my god, she's here we go again. And so, um... Next up, for the Tom's Go shopping for extra clothes. Well, it has to be extra.

Whoa, what a coincidence. I found... I found some pants for a 9-foot tall man. And I got stilt! Nuts! Yeah, he goes, I have a confession to make. Don't tell anyone, I bought stilt. You just know, I just could hear the sound of Ariana's eyes, eyeballs rolling. Just I could hear the sound of like,

them rolling from the left and all the way on the right and, they just rolled. I heard them. Ugh. Uh, uh, I'm sure it's like, And all the way on the right hand they just rolled I heard them Quotes only heard on this show I also think that Tom described himself as loud flamboyant and I'm so I hear this correctly Epervescent Epervescent at pervessant? At pervessant. At pervessant. At pervessant. And Lala is leopard vessant because she's suing up to coffee in a leopard jumpsuit and a stupid headscarf.

She's sure it was giving me like gypsy cheetah. She was like the new like she was like Carol Baske and going to try to pass legislation at the state office, right? She was just full of like a lady and like a cleaning product commercial in 1986. She was just, she was so extra and then they were at this awful coffee shop called coffee doves, which I've never been to, but just everything about it was really annoying. Like the cups all said things like anti-bitch serum. Yeah. It's like very made for Instagram. Yeah. And Rick how says that and, and Rick Hals looks crazy too.

Like everybody just looks crazy. Yeah, so Rick Hals is wearing like some little house on the prairie, like, saloon hooker thing, but then with like a long red velvet black bow hanging down. So they get drinks or whatever and she's like, oh my God. Lala says, you look so girly and she's, you look like a badass boss ass bitch. She's like consulting her nose. She's like, you look like a, a, a, a, a boss bitch.

So I can really hang out, glad you were hanging out. I'm really glad, I'm really glad you were down to hang out. Ugh! I remember Kelsa like, um, there's just one thing I want to mention last summer. You put down my intelligence and it's one thing to question my character, but it's another entirely to totally question my intelligence and if you really feel like that I'm good to take my anti-bitch serum chylotate ago. We don't have to have this conversation I just want to say

You were really mean to me in a way that was really not cool and you know my character is my character But also Page one, oh, over. Okay. You were mean. So what do you have to say about that? Poor Raquel, I love that she thinks like putting down your character is worse than putting down your intelligence.

I mean, fine, that's just my character. Who cares? Yeah, it's one thing to make fun of my character Like that's that's pretty big There. Yeah, so Lala goes My time is very precious and I wouldn't waste it on someone who felt why I felt was a true idiot So like so you were racing on someone you feel is kind of an idiot maybe, or what are you doing with your time again, Lala? Just remind me.

Yeah, how's your time precious again? Just because one fat guy pays a lot for it doesn't make it precious. Okay. Like are you like do at the chicken fryer and like at three o'clock or something or you're gonna gotta make supper for Randall? Like what's happening?

So, Rikko goes, Thaan! It means so much to me. Thank you. So, Rikkel goes, THAAAANN like, it's really hard to stand up to a bully, especially when in my emotional state, but now that I've did it, I feel amazing. Raquel's like the cutest little thing. I just want to take Raquel in and pet her, call her hair.

Tell her it's gonna be okay, little crazy bow. To be honest. She is definitely that kid in the school play who walks on stage and then gets confused and then finally figures out what they're supposed to be doing and the audience of parents just claps because they're so happy for the child. Yeah.

So Lala's like, yeah, I just want to see how you're doing, excuse me, and I've heard a few things about James and then all of a sudden we go over to James at Filarosa and he walks into Filarosa and Lisa emerges and he's like, hello, how are you? She starts and I'm like, are we shooting today? Yeah, she just kind of stares at him and she's got a cup of tea as big as her head like the woman is just becoming ridiculous She's he's like hello, how are you and she's they just stare at each other and she's like all right Well, I guess you can sit down then and then she just stares at him I she's like you'll have to pardon me. I tried my first edible just now

Are you me and I'm I you I can't tell Speak don't speak Did you speak I'm going to speak For some reason I feel like I have a For some reason I feel like I have a martyrdom of responsibility for your welfare and I don't know why I sense you're not even my child I was half expecting James's mom to like show up and like, and I have governor You want him? You want him to be your child go take him he needs a good mother. I can't provide him such but you be a good mother to him I dreamed a dream a song. Good boy. Kicking the law. I couldn't keep him, Lisa. Go take him, Lisa.

So she's like, well, I saw the text, your girlfriend. Slut. Who skinks that horse, skinks that slut. Who a hall wait, here's a nice one. No, no, it's that again. Would you think of that? And he's like, well, you know, this is just words that come out of my mouth, Lisa. You know, those words just come out of my mouth when I'm angry, Lisa.

But just words, that's all. She's like, it doesn't matter. You use those words to the good, that stood by your side, sort of like when Kyle Richards said I was a liar. But I don't say it when I'm so but Lisa, I don't say it when I'm so but I'm so out, doesn't not say everything to me. You have to get help. He's like, I did Lisa. I went to my first A.A meeting yesterday.

And she's like, oh, a broken bed. Yeah. They taught me when someone calls and they say, I've got a flat tire, I'd be there in a jiffy, you know, you pull out your, you pull out your crowbar and you have them with the tire and then you say, good night, man, it's all on us, all right. That's triple A, you idiot.

Right? No, I swear, I swear it was, I swear it was AA because I had to go there and say, I'm doing a trip from LA to San Francisco and they told me all the restaurants on the way. I swear that was AA. No, I know it was, I know it was actually AA, so because the jukebox wasn't working and I hit it and it started again. That's Fonzy James. AA! AA!

No, no, no, I swear, I was, it was AA, I went there and I signed up and they gave me a couple of A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- this meeting. She's like, don't you fucking lie to me James, I know in your line eight of diamonds. What's that mean Lisa? Why'd your hair tear is dulling? I always know where you go. The reason why is I was never alone. So then back with the restaurant, Raquel tells La La. She's like, yeah, yesterday I drove into his first A A meeting and I watched him go in and then I waited outside for an hour and they didn't came back out again. They even gave him a chip. It broke my tooth and I tried to eat it. He used it made a really nice coaster for his gin and tonic so then So then James's talk James shows his chip to Lisa. I said he's like look Lisa. I'll have a chip She's like, oh, that's not the only chip three more behind joy. Yes

So yeah, he basically talked about how we had to stand up in front of the meeting and say he you know He was in alcoholic and was really hard and he starts to cry I was actually actually very moving. I was very proud of him because this has been overdue. He's needed to do this for a while. So I was glad that he's at least taking the first few steps to treating his issue or his disease. I mean, so then Lala is, I mean, yeah, like dumping alcohol.

I'm gonna be on TV. I'm like, well, at this point with James, I'm just like, okay. I'm basically on his side because I think that Lala is bullshit around here. So, Lala, I'll just say this. I've known enough drug addicts. I want the best for James to like James, but I'm going to make sure that my TV is screwed into the wall when James comes over, okay? That's-

Yeah, I mean, there's no way he is stayed on that wagon, but I appreciate that he's a least made it to AA now. So La La starts crying and starts talking about her first AA meeting, you know, because this is really about La La, yeah, at the end of the day. Yeah, and she's like, I love this. Oh my God, like I'm excited for you guys, and I'm excited for you and me, Raquel,

we're gonna have a great friendship for the next 24 hours or so She's like yeah, I remember feeling so broken so overwhelmed and Then doing a monologue from little women I Got a pause so you know it ended up okay, but it started out really bad. I'm excited for us So then back at the house, Vanderpromp's like, you can't do it. Now listen, if there's ever a slip up, and you really want to have a drink

and me a cold tea, I'm there for you James. And if I'm not available, I may pat you through to Rosio, but that's neither here nor there. I need to see Rosio and make sure she's okay. I need a wellness check on Rosio. Have we seen Rosio? We have not seen Rosio, very concerned. Where's Ros okay. I need a wellness check on Rocio. Have we seen Rocio? We have not seen Rocio. Very concerned.

Where's Rocio? I need a wellness check, please. Wellness check. So now back over at Jackson Brittany's house. Kristen shows up with her dogs and she's got like a little tote bag and Brittany's like, oh, you're wearing the bronze mides tote bag.

Oh my God. Well, I just can't keep this wedding up. I'm so saying it's over. Look, I'm marriage life is coming tonight. Like, of course, of course. She just assault you with wedding stuff as soon as you walk through the door. Yeah, and she's wearing her bride. I'm a brother!

Whatever robe at the same time. And, uh, Kristen is like, uh, yeah, well, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, well, uh, like, she became over. She told me all those mean stuff that they were saying about me and they said that my business was basically like cropping, cropping things off the Pinterest. Oh, seriously, seriously. And meanwhile, uh, uh, Jack's is all pissed because he has to be, they have to get dressed up and be extra for Tom Sandevolts birthday party. So I don he has to be, they have to get dressed up and be extra for Tom Sandeval's birthday party. He's like, I don't wanna be extra.

What's, it's annoying, you know? Meanwhile, Flash forward to next week at Jack's party where he's dressed up in a wig. Yeah, Jack's is so dull. It's so funny, he's like a little kid. You just had a princess party and a wedding in a castle with hooters' waitresses, so. Put on a wig.

Yeah, put on a wig. So then over at Tom and Arianna, he's trying on stilts and she's just tearing it herself in the mirror really hard like just focus on my own eyes. So I don't kill him. He's like, dude, I want to try peeing in the toilet with ease on. She's like, no, no, it's just going to be terrible. Hey, well, please don't do that. So they're back at Brittany's, they're trying on different clothes and stuff,

going over different clothes, costumes and stuff. And Brittany's like, oh, well, which is the wheel? So, like, was that, you're having another one coming out, right? Did you talk to him? And she's like, um, now, oh yeah, this is a interesting. Yeah. Yeah, we're still on the same thing. And Jackson's like, um, and now, oh yeah, this is a interesting. Yeah. Yeah, we're still on this same thing. And Jackson's like, um, you know what?

I think that you're like wrapped up in this shit way too much. Like, look at me in Santa, like just said it be what it is. Oh, yeah, you're so chill with the whole Santa, but yeah, he's like, just live. People grow apart. You know what? Yeah, people grow apart. That's just what happens. That's you, just the chill guy in the relationship, huh? Yeah, you were real chill about the fact that your mom didn't come to your wedding after you didn't invite her and then you're like, she didn't even text me. That just hurts.

That just hurts. I'm like, well, what happened to, you know, people just grow apart. Jack's funny how that works when you don't want them to grow apart from you. Yeah. So then Max and it's the party, it's the extra party. Yeah. So Max comes in dressed as Chip Hardley, which is one of Tom Sandivall's characters. And Brett is with him and Brett is dressed like Tom Sandivall dressed as Sia in New Orleans. And Tom Sandivall's character, I believe, was named Visa Mandrupump,

because they put it up there. And Brett is acting like he's sort of like too cool for this. He's like, um, yeah, no, it's like it's a great honor to be dressed as. What was it? Like piece of mandrupump. I don't even know. My ex was a makeup tutorialist. I don't even know. And Charlie doesn't dress up. She's like, every day I'm the most extra version of myself. So I showed up as me. Do not try and give me pasta. Yeah, I will tell you. If you want to feed me avocado, then I just won't be there. And then Stasi shows up as Marie Antoinette, which, you know, I get relating to people just remember that that bitch was beheaded. Okay. Yeah.

Listen, Marie Antoinette tried to force carbs onto the population. Okay, and guess what they did, they cut off her head. Yeah. So, Cena is- I'm extra fucked up! Ah! Ah! Oh! So, and then, Jack's like, the theme for my costume is that I'm extra annoyed. That's the end of all, it's making me dress up. That's my theme.

I'm like, how about the theme for our costume? Is that we're extra annoyed that we have to watch three weeks of your wedding Yeah, three weeks two years two years So then Lala sees Christy and comes over and says hi and Tom's walking trying to walk in and still Yeah, he's like just struggling in Carter is there also by the way Carter is still lingering around even though Literally everyone has said that they just don't even care about Carter. They don't care if he's there They don't they little no one cares about Carter and he still shows up

And then everyone's wooing and then there's just this bored guy juggling bottles He would show him like every two seconds and he's just like throwing the way he's like Just throwing him up kind of catching him. He's like the Katie bartender. The bartender. I think he likes the jugular though. Oh, maybe. Either way, Max falls on his butt because he's on roller skates

and he clearly doesn't know how to actually stand on them. So he falls on his ass, which is great. And then James is like trying very hard to stand the way. He's like, excuse me. I like similar. What? Can I just get some more up, please? Other what?

What? Please? No? And then Raquel goes up to Lala. I'm just like, oh my god, you're wearing that outfit. So beautifully, I love that. And Mama's like, so has everything going with James, you lose your boyfriend.

She's like, well, you haven't drank tonight. So it's going great. And Lala was like, did James go to his friends birthday party because everyone there was getting fucked up. Because Logan saw videos of everyone getting fucked up and like Logan saw it. So Logan. Oh, here we go with Logan again. What a shocker. I know. Also Lala, like if you're trying to be helpful,

why are you not just asking James this? Like, what are you trying to do here? So, Rekel's basically like, I don't understand your friendship with Logan, you know? And Lala's like, Logan's a good friend, okay? He lied for James like few years ago about hooking up and stuff, which was like. Logan was the one who brought up the hooking up and stuff.

He's the one who lied about it in the first place and then lied that it was a lie later. If it was a lie, who even knows what happened with that? But yeah, I love that she's making Logan the hero when Logan's the one who started that. Well, but also just like, I mean, I think at the time we sort of suspected that maybe Logan was like was falling on the sword for James, who knows who cares. But the point is that like Lala, it's pretending to be supportive of James when she is all too happy to bring up this messy situation with Logan, Logan from two years ago. And Raquel also, Raquel picks up on that.

She's like, this girl is so fake. She's like, this is a fake person. Yeah, Raquel's like, no, he made that up. And she's like, oh, you still believe that. Poor thing. Like, look, I know it was true. I've been there when there were deals like, I could upload a Shopify win.

And then you do something if you win. And Raquel'sles like what the hell Lala shut the fuck up man is not Tron And I was like don't ever say shut the fuck up again. Okay. Don't ever say that to me again Yeah, you know what I'm off like that with me. You don't want to pop off like that with me again And Rickles like I said it. She she's like, oh, oh yeah. It's like, I know we want to keep our heads in the clouds,

but you have to bring it down for five minutes. Like, you know what, Lala? Okay. For the amount of people that you have said, shut the fuck up to at worst, the fact that you can't even, that you are, that you are always so happy to say that shit to other people, but when someone says it to you,

when you are being actually out of line, is bullshit. Yeah, marrying someone with accomplishments doesn't mean you have accomplished anything, okay? Sorry, you're nobody, lady, get off your high horse. So we're gonna go like, why don't you focus on like refilling russles, I mean, Randall's lipitor, okay, prescription, okay, rather than this.

Sorry. So Rick tells like, believe me, you want to believe in she's like, yeah, like you want to believe your husband. And she's like, um, yeah, you should try it sometime. And then Rick, I'll just walk soft, which good for her. Not for her to that trap. Yeah. Lala was not being supportive. I don't know what I mean, I'm not saying that whatever Lala was saying is false,

but I don't like you can't act like you're just trying to be there for someone you have, you have this place in your heart or you're excited for this new friendship. And then you just like, come in, you just attack in that way. You know, like I heard he was getting drunk at this party because Logan said something. That's just not how you, that's just not how you, yeah, Lala, you're at a party right now where everybody's getting fucked up and you're saying you're sober So what's the difference just shut the fuck up stay in your own lane weirdo So then it's a Tom Sandivott has an extra extra extra cost to extra So he changed us into that and they give him his cake and sing happy birthday and then stay seeing Katie or talking because you know Katie

He's Christy and like right by them. So she's like Let's start talking about what an asshole Kristen is right now, right? So she's like listen, I want a girl's night, but like an epic one Like maybe wine night or like I'm okay here. So I want to invite Britney Ariana Lola that weird blonde girl who keeps thinking she's on our show. Diana, Carmen, maybe, Corm Billy Lee.

I would love for Billy Lee to come. That would be great. Just to show that I do welcome her at it. It's like every season, Katie has to organize some sort of social event and specifically exclude one person. Yeah. How many times have we seen this? Every year's Katie has to exclude somebody and make them feel like shit.

So, um, this is this one. And no one wants to go to your Kate, your girl's mic, Katie, okay? So, Stasi's like, what about Chris Dan? It's like, uh, no. So, of course, Chris Dan is right over. Yeah, she's like, hey, we got to talk about. So, uh, Chris is like, um, we're gonna talk about. So, Kristen's like, um, so, I know, you guys told you, you know, you don't want to be my friend or you want to break from me or whatever

the fuck it is. And I just want to know if you give a fuck about the business, still, because we are in it together. Cuckaw. Just like, um, I'm still in it because we have contracts, but the minute the contracts are up, I do not want to be in it. And Katie's like, yeah, even though things suck right now between us, like I'm hoping we can find a way to be professional. Okay. So then Kristen tries again, and she's like, you know, I feel like really,

oh, that went hurt. That went, I feel really disconnected right now. Okay. Yeah, it's like, yeah, no shit. There is a massive disconnect. It's weird for you to even say that in the Christmas. Like, it is weird for me to have to say that. It is weird. Everyone's like, okay. So then we go back over to Lala and Lala's with Logan and she's saying, um, talking about how bad our conversation with Raquel was and then Raquel is talking to James and talking about how like what her, her conversation with Lala was all about. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, that, uh, Logan said you were fucked up and James was like,

I wasn't there. I wasn't there that night. I wasn't that fucking Logan by the way, right? Also, I'm't there that night. I wasn't that fuck Logan by the way, right? Also, I'm not ordering a drink. Council that absolutely non-alcoholic beverage that I just ordered. So then Kristen, back with Kristen and the girls, she's like,

well, she told me that you made fun of my clothing line. So, what's up with that? And Kristen's Katie's like, yes, Kristen. Yes. But she said you were knocking on my shirt and she's like, oh yeah, well, you were saying that I'm unhappy and I'm like projecting it onto you. That's the most ridiculous and convenient narrative.

I've heard in quite some time, Kristen. I'm very, very happy as you can see by my huge smiles that I have all the time. But you got to love this show that they don't make you wait for payback. It's like next week, Tom Yelling, he doesn't want to fuck her because she's disgusting. And they're so, it's so fun. I mean, they're so savage to each other. She's like, Kitty is like, all I've done is listen to you bitch about wine and you're a miserable human being.

She's like, you know, you're supposed to be like my two best friends, my two sisters. And so I was like, we are not best friends and we are not sisters. Okay, we have not been sisters for a while. I don't even know you anymore. Seriously. Uh, those, those girls are such assholes. I just want them, I want them to pull an Atlanta. We're on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Every year they try and get someone who can just bring down Neenie, you know, because Neenie is such a monster.

And they need to do that on this show. Like I get that people are queen bee. Like it happened to Vanderpump this year on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, lover or hater, it happened to her. I mean, you shouldn't just let people like sit at the top and treat everyone else like shit. I want to see people directly come for Stasi and Katie. But you know, the thing is I think why that might not happen and maybe why the show for

a lot of people have had issues with it, although honestly, I actually like the season, but I think one of the reasons why people have issues with it is that there is no real queen B at the moment and there hasn't been one for a little while. When the show began, Stasi was the queen bee of the show and she had her minions, you know, and the witches of WeHo were their own little group. But these days, they're just, they're just part of an ensemble, right? And so there is no taking down Stasi because what are they taking down? They're just, it's like, she doesn't, she's not like that the top of the ladder at sir she has her books i mean she's

they're just not well just a living and someone like come up against the villains you know it's like these girls are just a lot to be mean because everybody's afraid of them you know nobody will do anything to them or stand up to them and any or try and make them look stupid, you know? Yeah. Well, yeah, the only one who was really doing that most recently was Lala, and then she just realized, oh, I could just be one of them. And Lala, in many ways, is the one who I would love to see taken down even more than Stasi. Stasi is just sort of like meledown and to just like, you know, Stasi. And Lala, though, is the one who is really high on her horse, who really has an attitude problem. And I think that she's the one who I'd be very excited to see get taken down a few pegs. But I think part of the reason that Stasi, like she's mellowed, we keep saying she's mellowed,

and I guess that would be true from like a normal level. But part of the reason she was so fast eating the first couple of seasons is because people were trying to bring her down. Namely Jack, she was always gaslighting her and lying to her and cheating on her and doing all of this stuff. And so it gave her something to react to. Whereas now it's just like... Yeah, well, also she was a waitress and she had an actual territory, right?

And so she ruled the roost. But she doesn't rule the roost of anything really anymore. And she's, dare I say, matured, which is really the worst thing that could happen on the show. So, like, I don't know, I mean, I enjoy watching it, which is a weHo squabble. Like, I always think that's really funny, because they're always putting one of them. Someone's always getting kicked out. And Stasi always gets the blame for being the one who kicks them out. But I actually think that Katie is the one who is really the driving force behind all that. And it's been a while since they've really turned on Katie, actually.

I feel like the last time there was a real turn on Katie was probably season two. There was a period of time in season two when they were really vicious to Katie. And it's been a while. So maybe like we could get that. It's time, people, it's time. All right, well, that brings us to the end of Vanderpom rolls everybody. We will be back tomorrow with summer house and we'll try this, we'll keep trying this live streaming thing until we get it right. Damn it. And then the time goes sign up

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