Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: The Final CaCaw

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

Vanderpump Rules ends its season with one final reunion full of screaming, crying, and Katie victimhood. Put a fork in it. To hear this week's bonus episode with Danny Pellegrino, Annabelle DeSisto and Hannah Brown and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Straight to the Rosé" and "Rosé All Day" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Baltimore and Nashville. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to talk about on YeoBrops. Our Monikaerim you can also find me over on the Rose Prax Bachelor Rose podcast. That's off to a real fun start this season. And here I am with Mr. Ben Maddleker. Ben is also from the Cartoon, the Real House Warrows of Kitchen Island, but you can find on YouTube.

Hi, Ben. Hi, I really gotta get my ass together. You know what, I'm resolving after we're done podcasting today, I am going to finish writing the new episode because I gotta get a new one up there. Okay, got it ready. Do it man. I know.

Okay everybody, so here's some quick chills. I love a quick fast chills. Shilla. Shilla. Shilla. Thanks everyone for coming to Irvine last week. So fun. Great live show.

Great. We have more coming up this summer in June. We're going to. I'm not sure how these all fall, but we're going to Pittsburgh. No, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Baltimore. It's we're going to Milwaukee in June. And Pittsburgh is Pittsburgh in July. Okay. And Milwaukee and Baltimore and Cleveland. Where? Cleveland.

Milwaukee's, I'm not even really there. I mean, the point, ultimately, if you go to watchacrapans.com, you can see the schedule. So, like, that's what matters the most. Yeah, and it's your last week to get straight to the resume and Breakfast lunch and dinner. Rizzie all day t-shirts and Our shut up brand shirt if you guys like Game of Thrones So those shirts are up for the rest of the week and next week it's gonna be due so go get those shirts now Hey, and then also thank you to everybody who's watching this live stream right now Hi, we're live streaming this on our Patreon. And then these videos are also

available on crap and on demand over on Patreon. We're also going to be streaming this week's recap of Real Housewives of New York City on Wednesday night. Yeah, it's a nighttime. Check it out. Yeah, well, that's all our sales. Great seat. I should also mention that that that should have ran t-shirt or merchandise. Like get it if you T-shirt or merchandise like get it if you like him a throne And also get it if you're really angry back him a throne's right now Because it works both. Yeah, we won't say anything about it. Yeah, I don't want to get in trouble with the general public No, no, we're not God forbid that we ever do that

Food to a public So let's get to this Vanderpump rules final reunion of the season. I know so uh to spice things up when they did their like previously on the reunion they like uh they would show like James getting mad and then everyone yelling at James because he said he supports his parents like I spoke my parents too and Katie being like what about my compassion and it was like all kept fading to black, you know, like it was like Avengers endgame Which I didn't see but I assume there's a lot of fading to black over dramatic parts, you know? Yeah, well in the theater

They use like kind of a strobe to make it look like you're going slow motion You know, and it was kind of like that and I was like, you know I don't really need this cast to be slower. Yeah, no, don't need that. Yeah, they were worried that you know we wouldn't be caught up so they were catching us up with everything and you know yeah yelling at him for helping his family and then Katie's big plea of I've been going through a hell of a ride but James parents gets divorced. Where's my sympathy? As if forgetting that she's used that every other season as her sympathy card.

You don't get to play your sympathy cards every single season lady. Yeah, yeah, don't say you've been going through hell of a ride. That's like getting off of Space Mountain and someone complaining like, oh my god, I just did goofy's little mountain mining thing, whatever it's called. It's like, well, I was on Space Mountain, okay? So you were on a ride, but you were not on the same ride, okay? Oh my god, could you imagine Katie being on space mountain space mountain would be the victim? Oh, space mountain would have a sad story like I was just victimized.

She would ruin space mountain should be like hmm going traveling through space. This is a convenient narrative. What about my adventures? She get mad at the at the ghost that travels that that that chases you at Halloween. Yeah, yeah, that space. She'd go on the Matterhorn and try and be a bigger victim than the fucking monster. She's got an accountant. And then the monster who has a roller coaster invading is terrain. My, my, his habitat. She finally makes a new friend.

It's matterhorn monster. Yeah, she's like angry at the teacups when she's the one who's spinning them around. Like, oh my god, this made me so dizzy. Well, then stop spinning the teacup to when she's the one who's spinning them around like oh my god This made me so dizzy. Well then stop spinning the teacup Katie She wants every ride at Disneyland doesn't she? I know the teacups are like we were not meant to hold this much ranch The ghosts are furious at the haunted mansion. Yeah, so this comes to a head when Christian's like Oh, when are we supposed to look sorry? sisters like stories raised by bunch of assholes? And so James is like I will not talk to people talking about my parents

Also, I need to do a line so I'm leaving the stage. Yeah He leaves to get a little more geeked up and Vanderpump is like this is going to Vanderpump is like this is going too far and she goes to follow James off the stage and she stops at Kristen and she's like you are not doing yourself any favors Mrs. Mary Passei. It's Mary Passe! Call Lisa Vanderpump. Yeah, she said just take a breath you dumb fuck. So Lisa walks off and And he's like I mean Kristen you're jumping in on every single question. She's like you're welcome. Kick off. You're welcome

So she really doesn't show I have a fuss on my microphone. Sorry. I was like what is that? That's not false. So Lisa goes to give James a pep talk and she's like James you're going to lose the battery He's like what oh what already wore I won the ball over a she's like oh You're part of the show put yourself together and defend yourself. I'm like huh Lisa Vanderpump What an interesting thing to say love your recent work on Beverly Hills by the way love it love it Good point. I wonder if this is tape before after she was like bye people said that I said something I didn't yeah I mean Lisa come on now don't you know yeah Lisa take your own advice we love you but stopping such a pussy yeah be be like James Kennedy after his

parents have been called assholes and get back on that stage and curse everyone out Unreasonably. Oh, yeah, or hell be like James's parents after everyone's called them an asshole. Just take some of James's money Get back on yourself just ask for some money Lisa just just ask yourself for a job just like James's mom Master of total. So she's like, yeah, get back in there. And I love how Lisa just like takes these young people and just kind of gives them an opportunity, but also gives them an opportunity to really just ruin their fucking lives.

Oh, absolutely. You know, and she's a kid in there. It's very important that you have your say and I make my executive producer Dollars. Yeah, and then they so Lisa and James come back and Lala who's like now trying to be the voice of reasons like guys We have to stop talking about people's parents. It's like you know what Lala? You've lost your right to really say anything it like like productive or or interesting on this reading at this point Miss maturity stands out.

Yeah. But when we cut back, Katie's like, um, Andy, you don't know what it's like. It's been for me. Okay. People have been hateful. And Stasi's like, yeah, people have been really hateful. She was, yeah, people are telling me to go kill myself. Why?

Just because I mean to him, I mean, come on. I did that to him. I was like, Katie, give me a fucking break, you fucking victim. And I just had to get that in there because she says something later. That's really funny and pertains to that. But shut up, Katie. Shut up, Katie. So now, I've been telling you to kill yourself long before James came along.

So Lala. So now we're talking about Lala's anxiety attacks. And basically, she says that in retrospect, they were driven by alcohol. And she's like, you know, when I was in Mexico, I wasn't near Randran, and my menial moms was far away, my dad is gone. So like, what the fuck is this life?

I'm like, you're in Mexico on a beautiful page for a vacation at a luxury resort. That's what this life is right now. That's what this life is. That's the life. Yeah. Yeah. It's also Molly. Okay, that's what this life is right now. That's this life. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's also Molly. Okay.

So then, uh, the next question is for Shina. Shina, you were the one who said that everyone's up, Lala's ass, and you were sure to specify that it was even before she had a private jet. So what's going on with that? Shina, come on, come clean, Cena. And Cena's like, um, Axe, I'm thinking about everybody gravitated towards her. So I'm not sure she paid more attention to them than the man I like that was my own insecurity stalking because like it's really hard

You know, like we were in a pool together overlooking the ocean in a beautiful place. I was sad. Yeah I'm like, I thought I'd be someone that someone would want to make out with. But, and Lyle was like, oh, she's you, you know, I never want you to think that I put our friendship on the back burner. I actually threw it in the trash and, and sent it off. Sorry. You know, put it in the trash and add a compactor and compact it down to a little square piece of trash.

But God, I gotta give it to you. Just blow right back up. Yeah. I'm saying. I compacted you into a little cube and then I put you in the recycling bin, just to piss off someone who'd have to sort you out and put you back in the trash.

Even the homeless guy who took all the bottles wouldn't take you. Yeah. I mean, it is amazing. You are resilient. Yeah. I mean, you are gonna last longer than most materials on this planet.

Good for you. And seeing the flight. Yeah. I mean you are gonna last longer than most materials on this planet. Good for you. And seeing the flight. Yeah. Like all happening. Yeah. So then the next question is for the Tom's. Now the Tom's, you invited James on that trip and started a whole controversy. And Phantom Pump's like, yes, good job, darling.

And so like, why did you do that? And Schwartz is like, oh, well, you know, I was just like, stupid and naive. I got caught up in the moment. Whoops, I'm just a cute little boy. Oopsie-dupesie. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, it's just so hard not understanding when Katie's gonna get over stuff. You just never know. And Katie's like get over stuff.

You just never know. And Katie's like, uh, oh yeah. I know when Katie gets over stuff. Never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever. So, um, how did Ariana feel when Schwartz is the one who said, I would love you to come James, but then Sandevolg got all the blame.

And Ariana's like Do I really have to say this? It really annoyed me. What a surprise. What a surprise Yeah, and Tom's like did I really say love? No, yes, Tom and Katie's just like sitting next to Tom like Like rolling her eyes and like giving him dirty looks the whole time. Wow, this really looks like a good relationship. I know. It gives you to see that no matter your problems, you have a really strong relationship. Everyone's posting on the internet today like Tom Schwartz is abused and I just know

Katie's at home like throwing Nanny's jars against the wall. You're like anything she sees like little potted plants. Yeah. Yeah. Tom's like Nanny's jars. Oh, my head today. Nanny's. Little potted plants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Tom's like these jars Well, I get it. I was just in the supermarket. So then um shorts was like, oh, I think just like it was maybe in a moment of Caratiss. I was like, Tom did it. Oh, who's a moment of cowardice? Also known as my life

And Katie's like, yeah, um actually you put it all on him the whole time. It wasn't just a moment. And he's like, well, listen, we're voices so scary. I know what to do. Oh, shorts. Scary. Scary. So then Andy asked the question, Jack's probably put this in a stack because this is what Jack's always says.

He's like, James, everyone hates you and you pretty much hate all of them too. So why would you even want to go on that trip? And Katie's like, yeah, I want to know. I'm curious. Oh, scary. Scary. Scary voice. Oh, scary voice. Oh, terrifying voice. Oh, terrifying voice. Alright, and I was like, I can't believe this is my boyfriend's business partner. She's like, these people just bought a house in my neighborhood. So, yeah, so why would James even want to be there? James's like, well look, okay, I went to the trip in 2014 was a great time and then Hawaii. I was called a lot of beauty

Okay, but guess what Jackson's the one who got arrested I'm not gonna bring it up even though I literally just brought it up right now But like Jackson one got arrested and I came at I came back to Jacqueline because I wasn't a lot of beauty Okay, I was like and they cut the leases face and she's like Good wine Okay, I was like and they cut the leases face and she's like Oh Good one And then the third trip the third trip was in daz mexico and that's the trip. I became an international DJ I brought over I became an international DJ on that one

And then lol I was dancing and Kristen was shaking it on the floor All right, it was all happening guys It met it. Yeah, it was great moment. I'll press play on that CD player Was a CD player I was at one of those fancy new Coca-Cola machines We can mix the cherry coke with the vanilla coke and you can make some Sprout and then you're like whoa Yeah, I was I was like remixing the soda international soda DJ baby. Yeah It's all happening so the next trip I felt excited and at the time guys at the time I was hurt. I was hurt my feelings guys hurt my feelings. I'm like this would make

This would be such a good little speech if you didn't like cause I want to see where like in the next two minutes Which I know you're gonna do yeah, every like every time he like gains an inch like every time He just ruins it from the hell that's so so frustrating. It's like watching a terrible football team. So so does Tom think Katie is a bully, I guess Tom Sandeball does this Tom Sandeball think Katie's a bully for getting James fired and he starts to answer and James is like, the question is red of it. Okay, it's a red of it, question it, okay. You know, because a lot, you know, she's like, fat, she's fat, she's fat. I don't know why you're saying this,

but basically, it was like. It's a relevant, it was what was leading up to it. And it doesn't mean I was okay or was I was right in saying it, but you were pissed, Tom. You were pissed leading up to it. You were pissed leading up to that. It wouldn't about me, Tom, like he watched that. I'd be totally geeked out out and Tom's just doing that like

he's getting that face where he's like gonna start screaming and crying and I'm like, please, yeah, scream and cry. I need this right now. I know but he keeps it in, you know, but he doesn't admit he's like, yeah, I think if Katie had said, like, had instead what she said, James still have a job or I think that's what he said. So then Andy is like, well Tom Schwartz, you seem to be a bigger pussy today than usual. Do you agree that Katie has said things as mean as James has said and Schwartz is like, ah, well, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, She says my name her so I don't have to hear that voice. Oh scary voice almost came out of her mouth. I mean

She said some pretty rough things back in the day back in the day She's yeah Before cuddles, but she's be whoa But she's changed she's reformed she's come a long way and I love her. Baba. Here's here's a jolly rancher Baba. And she's like do not compare me to him at all. Tom. How has she changed? Can someone please tell me how Katie is fucking changed? And this Katie trying to shoehorn a redemption story arc into this reunion just because Jack Scott went this season. That's not really how it works.

Too like Katie. Yeah. So then Andy's like, uh, Katie, is it a positive thing for you to be like, your go-to insult? It's like, make fun of shorts as dick. Like at a certain point, it's like not gonna work anymore. It's like, I love my dick. Oh.

And Lisa's like, Oh, instead of going for the jug jugular it's going for the dick Get it He's like I love my dick. It's very nice all prove it and Andy's just like puts his head down so he can reach Thumbs-grat Yeah, classiest boss in the world, you know. And Katie's like, people misunderstood that because what I was saying was that sometimes, you know, when a dick is like soft, it's like this, but of course, when it's hard, it's like this, reformed everybody, tell your friends totally reformed.

Yeah. And meanwhile, she is just like having the best time. She's like, I'm so glad I get to tell everybody that all the one time on me for two hours. So now Bo comes out on stage. It's like the big Bo moment. And and he starts listing off. He's basically like, well, bow. Well, let me tell you a little bit about some of Stasi's X's. Jack's flipped up everyone at Sir, Frank were end to pull customers under her over his head, and Patrick made repeated, unsolicited, unwanted comments about Lisa Vanderpump's ass. So where does bow rank amongst those people. Yeah, and I like the Andy Ener. He's acting on his, he's acting on his going for the juggler in this, this, but he should have said, uh, Jack's fucked Stasi's best friend.

Uh, Frank took a sex tape of Stasi that Vanderpromp had to pay hundreds of dollars to retrieve. And Patrick had a man. Patrick, just say Patrick. Yeah, Patrick had a bad button, is really the the worst of all those things So LVP's like I love bow I even tweeted about it. I don't know if you noticed I know this I saw just I know you did I checked for your like Because you know see did too did he see this? Has he responded? And says, oh, man, he's not checking!

That's not. But she's like, I think that also he's very lucky to have Straszy. And then not only kissing your butt Straszy, I will go back to telling you you're not important enough to hate next season, but for now, Straszy is a wonderful girl and she needs to get over her insecurities. Yeah, so, um, yeah, so we're just like, a lot of talk about Stasi, et cetera, and her, her man and she discovered that Patrick cheated on her like big surprise, big surprise, hashtag man. You see Katie's reaction, she's like, I didn't know about this.

Storing it in the file to use it again later against her. That's fucking vipers. So Stasi tells us that yeah, he cheated. And both says he's never watched a show except the pilot. And he was scared of Stasi, of course. And we learned that Kristen is the one who was the matchmaker because Kristen met Bo 12 years ago because they were both working on an independent film

called Loneliness of the Long Distance Streamer. And we got to see a clip of it, which actually made Peter's sci-fi masterpiece. Look like a masterpiece. It was like, Bo was like lying on the ground. And Kristen's like seriously get up, get the fuck up Mariposa get up. No, let's kiss And then their kiss was weird it was like It was like watching like it's like watching two tunas go at it

So it's like fish on the fish action Like like like we're like fish on fish and Jack's like we are the most incestuous group ever. Did you notice Jack's is hateful eyes the whole time his eyes were just like that mean squint like. Yeah he said he said unfortunately is that like for him, in Sestras is like a really wonderful thing. That's like a positive. He's like, isn't it great? Isn't it great we're so in Sestras? Dear sister, I love going to bed with you.

Happy birthday, he's got his own line of cards. Okay, so now it's a fight between Stasi and Bo because he didn't want to go to bed and wanted a party with her friends all night. Yeah, and and and Stasi hates this shit and I wonder if Ami's just picking out her because he's always phrases it like this to the guys. He's like, how does Bo keep cool around Stasi? It's like, how does Tom number two take Katie's abuse? Tom number two is a fucking cheater and Bo wanted to stay up till six in the morning like doing drugs and parting with a fucking douche bags of Vanderpump rules, okay? I think the girls kind of had a point on this one.

Yeah, exactly. And then there's like this whole like prolonged moment about like, hey, well, why was Stasi so mad at Bo? In Mexico, when he was just trying to encourage her to have fun with her friends dancing up on that platform and she's like How many times have I described this? I was in a maxi dress, I was in spanks, and I cut a hole in the spanks so I could pee, and I didn't want to go up to an elevated platform where everyone could see my vagina, because I'm actually a celebrity and people would take pictures of it,

and I already spent $900 or I guess Lisa did to get rid of my first vagina scandal. So please Andy, like what about this you not understand? That's a boring answer, boo! That's a boring answer, not a married polsa. scandal so please Andy like what about this you not understand Answer not a Mary Posa Yeah, parents like echoing in the back she gives it like a one-star yelp review She's like I'm sorry. I just didn't feel hot. No Try again cook She's like I was wearing outmail colors spank's Chris and Chris is like that's not it

You know you were just mad because he was trying to control you because he said to go dance Nailed it. Yeah, Mariposa. Yeah, I think Kristen is in her own, you know Thunderdome over there She really is my like that went in her own Thunderdome One Kristen enters one Kristen leaves, but then why would we watch that? So that would be amazing. She's just like jerking and hitting herself. Playing the blow the blow the dog. She's like swinging around. I would actually totally watch Kristen gangly Kristen on those cables like bouncing around while Tina Turner watches. So I like when what did you notice that when Stasi said,

listen, I was wearing oatmeal spanks. I didn't want people to see that. It cut the and these face and he's like, ew. O, meal spanks. I don't want to be here anymore. So Stasi's like, listen, I said no and that's it. And like I didn't want to be questioned on it anymore. And Chris is like, that's what this is about.

You said no. Like, are you trying to disagree with her or agree with her, Chris? want to be questioned on it anymore. And Chris is like, that's what this is about. You said no. Are you trying to disagree with her or agree with her? Chris and I don't understand. Yeah. And stuff to like stop telling me what you think. She can set look on her face where she kind of moves her lips. I yeah. And Chris is like,

who can make a car? And then the next question is, oh, wait, I have to say something at the very beginning of this. Please. Please. And he's like, so what do you think triggers her dark passenger? Because they keep bringing up this dexter thing, the dark passenger. And both like, well, you know, I think it's a mixture of alcohol, adderol, X's, but

you know, I've done nothing wrong. I just love that everybody's blaming every kind of substance For their bullshit and I'm yeah, I'm into it. We just I decided to bring up. I mean, there's it come probably I mean, there's probably some truth to it. I mean after all I mean we spent a good amount of this podcast me like well, they are clearly high They're clearly I'm coke, you know, so like finally when they admit it You know, we got like well, I'm just I'm just you know, yeah, but they're blaming the wrong. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say I just had to bring that up cuz we're through it. We're through it. Let's we need to through line and that comes up later

So sorry for setting it up Yeah, don't tell me what I think Ben. No, I think Yeah, don't tell me what I think, Ben. Don't tell me what I think. Um. No, I don't like that answer, Ronnie. No, try again. Kakao. So Buzz, like, um, so when Bo finally broke down and started

sobbing and said that he felt like a battered boyfriend, Tom, did you guys not become natural friends after the hat? Like what the hell, Swartz. And we're like, well, you know, it was just over and over. And then that dark passenger would come out. These guys are making like serial killers seem like so cute and fluffy. I know. It sounds like a girl visiting jail trying to marry Ted Bundy.

I mean, why don't you, they just need to raise their prices on whatever vessel they're on and price out the dark passenger, okay? So at this, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Like what a funny witticism I just made about vessels and dark passengers and ticket prices. I am so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever.

I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. I'm so clever. Listen we turn out a million of these episodes. They can't all be winners, okay? So So anyway, so Andy's like so what's worse the dark passenger or tequila Katie and she works like tequila Katie for sure Sorry, sorry. I'm the worst. I'm the worst Katie just hit me in her mind

Okay, it's like oh my god. They should be friends. I'm like they are. I'm like friends, okay. You two can have these little imaginary bad people. You are the bad people to understand. Yes, I like that you think that they go away at a certain point of the day. Yeah, but they don't they don't they're here I'm wearing a different out, but I'm wearing a different bra than to Kila Katie like you still her bitch So what what's going on with Stasi's mom like what what you guys think about when Stasi was was like Oh, oh, Stasi's mom was like oh don't act like yourself. You'll scare him away my daughter's terrible yada yada yada And I was like I don't know why she would say that and Sasha's like yeah, why would my I was thinking like why would my mom say that? I'm like because she watches the TV show, okay?

Because she raised you to be like that Like what do you think maybe she was saying it proudly, you know? Yeah, and then Stasi's like well and and he goes and then to top it all off She said she hopes you grew up to be just after woman at Christmas, which is less admitted. Huh? Lurie is handy, it's hilarious. That's what you were gonna say. The real question is, which half will she be? The car or the car?

Who's she be, Mari? Who's she be, Posah? That's the question. Stasi? Wait for your answer. Stasi, wait for your answer. Stasi, did you know this Kristen kept doing that? She kept putting her hand up to her chin like she was leaning on a table but she wouldn't.

She just, uh, uh-huh. Wait for the answer. She's this generation's Leslie Saul. Let's install. Yeah, definitely Leslie Saul. You know she probably has some sort of reaction anytime the 60 minutes commercial comes on She just runs into a wall and falls at the floor Damn, but I hate those 60-minute commercials

Tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck-tuck- took took took my clock. I will let's get married. So Andy's like so where do you stand with your mother now, Stasi? I'm a dad and so I can really feel these mother daughter things going. All right. Does he have the question? Am I a dad? I'm not a dad. At least some of you're still not wearing those oatmeal spanks for crying out loud. So Stasi's like, well, we didn't like speak for eight months. Till this weekend, at my sister's shower, and she apologized and totally took ownership, and then she apologized again. And I said, mom, break that wine bottle over your head. If you're really sorry. And she did. Has as well as some of the glass. And she did. She's bleeding internally at the hospital right now and the dark

passenger has never been happier. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap-in-s commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, um, hey remember that time with the guys, had guys not out at the Mondrian and then the girls came over, which was totally spontaneous, not planned by production at all, and then like you guys called the girls like, what was that like? And Brittany's like, oh, man, I was like, well, Sasha's like, I was like, put those hose on the phone. I'm gonna tell them to get away, whatever.

And Brittany's like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was bowling on fire, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Jack's like, well, I didn't really know what to do, but I was like, well, let's call him. I think it's the right thing to do. And both was like, yes, we called him. It's like, okay. So then, that was a great time.

And I like that Jackson is just fucking freaking out and so proud of himself for not doing it. And this is where Jack starts veering into that. But look, guys, just because it's been a year, it doesn't mean I don't still have some work to do. I still have some work to do. I'm still kind of that guy. I mean, still inside.

I'm like, okay, so Jackson's just cheated. So this just Jackson made the he cheated. Because this is like a lie of Jackson, just like setting the groundwork for a cheated again. But I'm still trying. Still trying. Yeah. So then now like, Chris, what was the deal with you in Solvang, which was great because we got a montage of Chris in like,

flopping all over that pretty little town and eating flowers and like... Be like, Merlowe is for basic bitches. I hate this one. Merlowe's the basic bitch of wine. And then she falls down, she's like, Oh! Oh! How Merlowe can you go?

Oh! Oh! She's like, it's so fucking embarrassing. Like, oh, it's all back. She's like, oh, no, I'll just talk about everything else in the season too. I was talking about that flower that didn't even know it was garlic. So, I'm Andy's like, so you seem to be triggered by James getting a job back at Pum.

Does it really affect you, Kristen? Really at all ever? Why? Why would it affect you? So it does affect me. I wish I could get rid of it and then she comes back to it shoulder and James comes back awake And he's like I'm not your life anymore on a get over it get over James Kennedy never getting this again This is my boom not touching this boom again, okay never touching it again He likes spits on a door. So Stasi thinks that Kristen's whole meltdown in SoulVang

was because Kristen has these terribly all these issues with the Carter and she was basically projecting them on to James that moment and Kristen's like, no, I was like literally mad at James at that moment. It was not about Carter at all. I just feel like I pay for everything for James and he doesn't pay for anything.

And so I just had to stop hanging out with James. It's like, okay, you're talking about Carter now. Well, James does is sit around my house playing video games all day. It's frustrating. And then he grew that beard. Like how am I supposed to kiss you over that beard every day? Like, you're talking about James.

You're talking about Carter's stupid Galba James Kennedy. Get over me. I know it's hard because I'm an international DJ but get over me. Yeah, and then she and he's like, but why did you finally break up with Carter if you love Carter so much? She goes, well, it's just that, it's just that he didn't respect me enough to pay his own way. And let's hear the feel taken advantage of. And my like, uh-huh, yeah. That's terrible. Yeah, Lala who's been so good about paying her own way with Randall.

That's what Lala's about paying your own way. Yeah. So Andy's like, well, Kristen, you seem surprised that your friends, your best friends told you to break up with him. And Katie's like, um, we never said to break up with him and literally cuts the hurt going, get the fuck out now, Kristen, get the fuck out of this relationship. And then both like, well, I think that, you know, the problem is they only hear the venting. And so, you know, maybe say some good stuff instead of only venting. And

I just thought, you know, you need to be quiet. Because you're not gonna be using bottles. Bottle. Don't fight. Stossy's bottles. Don't fight. Stossy's bottles because like, here's a problem. And I like watching, but I think he's a good addition. But girl, you've already made Stasi happy, which is really not doing the show any favors. No. Let her be mad when she's mad. We need this.

Yeah, let her have her moment. Okay, this is kind of her thing. So just like, just so cool. Yeah, be quiet. So wait to get beat again. Okay. Yeah, so Kristen's like, well, I know it's like you know They were like I was venting but like car stop being a jerk

So it was like not a jerk anymore. Call call and sauce is like yeah because we called him out And Christians like well, that's what it took it doesn't matter and as I said before call call And they're like and Katie's like, but that's sad though. I'm like you know what Katie Katie your sad Katie's like, but that's sad though. I'm like, you know what, Katie? Katie, you're sad. You're sad. You're like a lump of velvet over there. He was only nice, because he got called out

and I just wish he had done that for you and not because of what people thought of him. I'm like, oh really? Like, Jack's, like, Jack's is doing right now. Yeah, Jack's is totally not trying to have a redemption to her because everybody fucking hates him. Like none of you have done that, Stasi. Like you didn't do that.

I mean, come on. I mean, and Katie has definitely done that. Katie, I mean, all last season, which is like, I'm just chill, Katie. I'm chill, fun, loving, Katie. She brought up her PTSD again in this episode. I mean, in this reunion, so whatever. By the way, I also think that in general in life,

like, I mean, obviously, yes, we would want Carter to have changed his ways for the love of our Mariposa Kristen but like sometimes in life you know you you act a certain way and you get called out for it and like when you call someone out what do you want what do you want when you call someone out you want them to change so like now you're angry that he changed because you called him out. Like I'm not, I, I listen, I can't stand Carter. I think he's like a waste of space on this show.

But I'm just saying like, you called someone out, he changes a result of it allegedly. What else do you want? Now you're mad, don't be mad, okay? Yeah, I mean, you're talking to somebody who literally changes when people call him out. Hi, you have to, what are you gonna do? Yeah, that's how people learn.

Like how else do people learn? Sometimes you need to be called out or you need to say to someone, hey, by the way, you shouldn't do this. We shouldn't act like this. You shouldn't say that. You know, if someone said, fuck you, you'd be angry.

So if someone changes, lean in. Yeah. So Christians are like, well, the bottom line is, oh, ow. Oh, my shoulder's just hurt my head. But the bottom line is oh My shoulders hurt my head The bottom is he's gone now and and he's like, but you just said But you just said that if you ever get married it would be the Carter right and she goes, let's stand by that Jimmy Carter of course

Underrated president Duh what a man So he's like so are you dating? She's no Andy. He's still living with me and everyone's like why why She goes because our dog got mold by a pebble okay, and he was like our baby I'm the only fuck twice I just when it all happened. I needed quarter physically mentally emotionally and stability wise. I keep falling over oh There was so much food in my house that Noah was eating

I mean it was crazy like Lisa Lisa Vanderbump to see I'm crying over a dog anything anything Lisa So nandies like said is anybody believe that they're really broken up and Stasi's like They're broken up the same way that she does not dating autumn Okay, Chris like You know what on the ladder of that Your tough love doesn't work. That's why I go to Brittany only I went to Brittany only. I went to Ariana even if that's how desperate I was.

I didn't know that. Your love doesn't work for me. I sit at home alone and I fucking cry because I'm scared to cucka call you because you guys are annoyed by me. Fuck you. I'm like, Kristen, you're all like a reason. You're all reasoning behind every single thing you've done for the past like a

Years is that you're giving tough love when you bring like when you bring someone to like Ambush James you're giving quote unquote tough love when you're giving bring someone to like ambush Tom You're giving tough love everything you've said has been tough love and this has been like the lightest tough love We've ever seen on the show which is that they have quietly been like we're not really that into Carter Okay, it was one scene ever where they express that they don't like Carter and you're like you know Wilting under the pressure And stuff she's like well that's not fair that you just move on We don't give you the answer you want so you just keep moving to other people to torture them and

She's like oh it doesn't work. Okay. And then you guys get annoyed with me and then I solve. I mean, I listen to so much with you guys. What about Patrick? What about Patrick? Listen to that for two years. And Katie's like the difference is we get our shit together. Chris, which is the centerpiece of the season is that they're

allowed to do whatever they want. Be hypocrites because they admitted it to do whatever they want be hypocrites because they admitted it. Yeah. And now they're not hypocrites anymore. Yeah. Christians, like, it was eight years of me listening to about you and Tom and I never walked away.

And Sasha's like, we're not walking away from you. You dumbass. She's like, oh, well, that's why I don't come to you guys anymore. Like so you're, you're first you're using them of walking away from you, but then you're saying that you don't go to this. Yeah. Like this is full Mariposa right now. This is full Mariposa. This is full Kakama Reposa. So Kristen's like, oh, Stasi says, you can still talk to us, Kristen. She's, well trust me. I don't want to. And Katie is like, um, Kristen, you made it my business for two years, all this shit.

So forgive me for having an opinion. And Chris goes, I forgive you. Katie is like, I just wanted to be happy. Look, I have very good instincts. And Tom is just like, Kristen, in an effort to make you feel happier, we've brought you this bouquet of wildflowers you put from it, told from a traffic median on Van Nijs Boulevard, would you like to eat them? Yes please, thank you! This is what true friendships really about.

Oh God, so then social media is lit up saying, both the best thing that's ever happened to Stasi and Jack's is like, totally. And she goes, yeah, I guess we both upgraded at the end of the day. And he's like, what's it like to be, what's it like to not be the most liked one in a relationship and Katie goes, welcome to my line.

Yeah, pretty much. At least you're self aware. Yeah, so that's where I guess your tweet aware So Schwartz and Katie they're a big fight in Mexico and and he's like whoa Schwartz you must have grown some big Balls to have that fight. Can I see him? Can I see him? No afterwards? Maybe okay? You know the best way to measure balls in a mouth? Let's try that out. Come on. Come on. Come on. All right. Well, I can't say no to my boss. Right, Baba? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

So, keep that out. So Schwartz explains that that fight was, he was like, he goes, oh, well, you know what that fight was? It was just the last rumblings of some pent up resentment on Hav, had over the course of a relationship. It's like the last spotter, and I'll never, ever, ever speak up to Katie again.

I've learned my lesson. I'm like the last, the last resentments of the eight years. Okay, all right. That or not has been- He's the last burp of resentment. And she was, last time I asked for attention She's just vile this girl is just fucking vile like everything that comes out of her mouth And I was like at last time you asked for attention this episode began with you screaming because you weren't getting enough attention

For your sad story Seriously literally that is how it opened up and so then so and he's like well, I guess it all I guess it all comes down to the Katie just needed some more loving since you got busy or whatever and and he's like were you so busy at Tom Tom at least it goes A lot of people have jobs and are still decent to their partners And he's like I know Okay, he's like but I tried to communicate and like you're just not that good at listening He's like you're right. I'm no good. I'm just like nope, and he's like

And they cut to Tom Sand of all who's so mad He's like squinting his eyes and just looking around like I really want to yell at this one in Yeah, I really want to yell at this one He really does and so Andy's like so that a grand remand romantic gesture where you put a bunch of candy bars on the bed How did that work out and Katie's like honestly? I had to take a shit. I had monosimus revenge But you and then shorts is like, oh, but we booked it for, we saved it for a later day. Yeah. And Jackson's, then they're all like, yeah, we all had. And Jackson goes, yeah, I had severe anal leakage. And he goes, I didn't, I didn't have it at all.

Oh my God. Congratulations. You guys just wrote your house. So then Andy's like well I hear a think of great rivals. I think of the hat fields in the McCoy's the Dakota fannings sisters Superman and low with me Everyone the system van dot pump team everyone the system van dot bomb so then it's like I mean Ariana don't you think it's weird that your husband is still friends with James after everything that's happened

and because they were talking about the jacks and James I didn't really see how that tracked you you know, because the question was, is it weird for Tom? Is it weird for Tom that like his current girlfriend and his ex-girlfriend are now friends after being rivals? So for Britain you'd be like, but isn't that way over for James to be friends with? What's weird for you that James to be friends for you and James be friends or for Kristen Arianna be friends Like I don't understand I don't understand that juxtaposition Like why would you compare Arianna and Kristen being friends with Tom and James being friends? I think just because they punt they had a fight like I

Guess because I thought she was just saying because James or Chris I guess because I thought she was just saying because James or Chris Because Kristen used to be I don't know. I think I know it's like a really but I'm not I mean I know I just answered Actually, I think it's weirder that Thomas still fronts with jacks. I know. Thank you someone finally said it Someone yeah, so good for her cuz fucking Britney shut up over there breaking She's trying to like bring nothing but Diablo sauce to this show fucking beer cheese And you're ex you're excusing this fucking monster that you're sitting next to just shut up over there already Yeah, seriously

So yeah cuz Kristen's Christian's like yeah, I mean I still think that Tom and Ariana did something while we're together And I'll see I'm really glad cuz I love them both Mariposa of approval Yeah, and Ariana's like So then the questions hey the second that jacks proposed to Brittany she started planning the wedding check I started planning that way when I was five Which explains why like it's like all time is the train themed Yeah Why like it's like all time is the train themed My little pony's everywhere I have not revised my plans

So does anybody give a shit about Britney's wedding at this point? No, Lala got upgraded to bridesmaid so that's fun and they'll be 12 bridesmaid bridesmaid so that's fun and they'll be 12 bridesmaid. There's a little money as somebody. Why did Kristen think that she would be a bridesmaid? I just like, well, Bernice brother West told me that like I was her very very best friend in all of Los Angeles but then like, I mean I thought I was going to be out but I get it I've never been married before and you know I've got a cock-hawk problem so no, I'll get it. Okay, it's like it's not because I'm married. There are lots of other reasons that I would be the bridesmaid. Oh, no, there's not really, okay, matron.

And also, Kristen, I think you misunderstood the brother. I don't think he said you're Brittany's best friend in all of LA. I think he said you're Brittany's best friend in all of LA. I think he said your Britney's best friend in all of LA. I don't even have Britney a Southwest ticket. And then he's like, Lisa, you did a beer bong. And she's like, I don't know how to get in. That beat I came rushing in at 90 miles per hour. Sort of like, oh my cast members with their accusations! So,

uh, well in the finale, Tom Sandivalk get ticked off quite a list of lies that Jackson's told. Jackson's like, I didn't see that one. And Brittany's like, yes you did, we watched together. He's like, oh yeah, I'm like, so you're lying about not seeing the lies. Yeah, so he's like a cheater. He's like, I didn't even see're lying about not seeing the lies. Yeah, she's like a cedar. He's like, I didn't even see the season.

Why would I be upset? Luh. So we can blame everything on editing, which he does. But Brinney's like, we saw it. It was funny. I mean, it was no Joey and Chandler funny, but it was still funny, funny. Oh, look, we are not saying that Jack's

wasn't a piece of shit in the past. Okay, Jack's wasn't a piece of shit in the past. It's just, no and he's not. He's dying. He doesn't lie anymore. He stopped lying all of 30 seconds ago right after he told that last lie. Now, Jack's telling everyone about how you were living with Channing Titan again. Oh God.

And then Tom goes, yeah, he used to have this like this look bug. And then he had this Chanel ad, and he was not the person in the ad It wasn't him and everyone starts cracking up like stupid jacks. Yeah, you see This is why I lie. This is why I lie. This is why I say that you know because he's playing it's like he lies because his friends are so unsupportive of him Yeah, because he lies. And he goes, well, you know what, I'm just, I'm still a work of progress. And he's like, yeah, it's been the seventh reunion

and you've been saying that every single, every single year. So, and then, and then when he's, when Andy says that, like, yeah, I've heard you say this before, Brittany just is like, yeah, yeah. Like she was like laughing like it's hilarious. I mean, no, Brittany, That is a red flag red flag Whatever I mean there's there's so many there's so many. It's like just I don't even feel bad for her anymore. Just have fun

So then Tom's like yeah, I remember when you said you were chatting pain or swimming. That was such bullshit. I'm just like oh that was true You know it was a hostile it was a hostile a model apartment It was a model apartment so people come and go you know He was literally living in a model apartment in like a condo duplex This is what you could get And Tom's like well, I remember that because Channing had just blown up he was on this huge mountain-do ad and Jack Jackson like it was before mountain du was there dude I love that I love like that Tom Sandevol's like male model like database is so specific like because does anyone remember Channing Tatum in a mountain duad? Channing Tatum is just like please stop saying my name please stop

just like, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop saying my name, please stop like a terrible person who cheated all the time, but like, you know, eventually he just wound up just sort of puttering around the house when he turned 78. And you know, so there's hope for me. Basically, Jackson's like, maybe I'll get a new kitchen one day too. He's my hero. Jackson, I'm a work in progress.

I'm a work in progress. You know, it's just different because I'm working progress guys. I'm just, you know, any man who says that is just cheating on you. I'm telling you that right now. And any man who says that they're not perfect. I'm not perfect means that they're just lengthy groundwork to make a mistake and say I told you I wasn't perfect. They're lowering, lowering your expectations, isn't it? Yes. So then Vanderpump is, let's see here. So then we get Sheen and Adam.

We get the clip of Sheen and Adam's big fight. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please, please, please, please, please, please. She's like, I had never seen him that angry before. And so then I really thought that that would be the last time

I'd ever speak to Adam. And I thought he would, like, would like never want to talk to me again And I hadn't even got to show him that I made a panorama from yet and I was like I can't believe this is really happening But do you man I don't right now And he's like yeah, I didn't want anything from him until you didn't get enough attention Ha and Vanderpump goes yes, you made the worst choice ever by cheating in Jackson's he went down on her He went down on her he went down on her yeah she apparently met the met the male model that she'd like quote unquote she'd

win but although I totally support her hanging out with that guy because Adam autumn clearly should have made a move if he wanted to be with Shrinna so she met him because he was a male model who was fanning Nini leaks leaks at Watcher Happens Live Los Angeles. So... God, what a resume. Fanning Neenie leaks and eating out Sheena. This guy's really gonna work a lot. I feel like next it's gonna be that he valid like Gretchen Rossi's Toyota Camry.

Yeah. I say that as a Toyota Camry owner. So then Sheena, and he's like so Sheena how old are you? She's like 34 33 going on 34 and you said that Botox makes you look 26 She's like yeah totally does that's why I can hang out with all the 25 year olds and the penguins and he's like hmm I disagree. I think Botox makes people look older. So, what's up, Rude? It was so like me, I don't know where.

It was just like randomly like just, and he just goes in on Sheena. Of all the people on the stage who deserve to like have like severe shade, don't at them. It was not Sheena. It's not Sheena, I know she's so nice. And Andy just for the record, guess what else makes you look old?

Age. Yeah. Both talks never heard anybody. I think it has. It's heard a lot of people, OK? So she's like, wow, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, what is for me? Look, I'm like, it's not.

She's like, yeah, I mean, Gina's different because she started when she was like 12. Yeah. It's her primary source of nutrients. So then the next question is like, were you thinking of Adam while you fucked Ethan? Where do these questions come from? I know. And how did Adam react to the penguin?

She's like, oh my god, he loves penguins like saucy, it loves ranch, it all. So the first thing about that was like ranch on the penguin and all the way to that. Yeah, I was literally thinking about ranch and I was thinking about autumn, what do I want to say about sex, but it's also kind of thinking about my TV and like how it now doesn't have Rob anymore and like I don't know how I'm going to get up there in seven minutes or less. It's like really don't have something for me, I'll die. And he's like, well, why wouldn't he go, why wouldn't Adam go down on you?

And she's like, oh this is very personal to say. But in a relationship, when someone says I'm not going down on you, isn't that a huge factor? And does it have anything to do with Kyle P. Traini? Oh. Oh. And she goes, but I said, what down on me the next day? No one.

It was no one. It was. Like, we know, because Jackson's told everybody to burst your bubble, to burst your going down bubble. Jackson's such a prick. Can the woman just have her? That's her one dollar man, I'm not psyched. Can you just have that?

Well, she was, well, because he was talking about how Ethan the male model went down on China, but now she's just talking about how Adam went down. Adam, I can't get it back. Yeah, please now she's talking about how Adam went down. Adam. Because by the way, I'm very good. Yeah, I'm very competitive narrative. I take it back with an implied apology. Yeah. By the way, the she knows Penguin Trick did eventually work.

She said that like really want Adam over again. And I continue the day, but like he hasn't been with anyone else because he's just like, oh my god, I was like the mother of my penguin. How could I cheat on her? Err. The girl at our life zone Irvine, we were talking he's just like, oh my god, I was like the mother of my penguin. How could I cheat on her? Err. The girl at our live show in Irvine, we were talking outside and she said, oh my god, I went to one of the restaurants,

the surr, whatever. She's like, I saw Adam and I said, hey, you know, how do you feel about the penguin? You know, do you just love the penguin? And Adam told her, took another girl to see it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha been saying that the penguins name is spot, but looking back at when they showed the clip, when they showed the paper, it doesn't say that the penguins name is spot, it just says this penguin has been adopted in honor of Adam Pot. No, she, oh, she said, I thought she said spot, but I guess it's.

I still like calling it spot, because I think it's... I think she did... I think Spogs. Because I can imagine Shina naming a penguin like a classic dog name. Yeah. Wawa. You know, it's like I have that thing when people name... Like there have been many people I've met who've named their dog Bear. And I'm like, why are you naming your one animal after another animal? You know?

So I'm just imagining Shina would name... I could imagine her naming a penguin something like lion or something. Finger nail polish. Finger nail or fingernail polish. It's gonna like lose myself in my thoughts. So, anyway. So now we pivot back to Brittany and hey, Brittany, say, what happened?

Anyone in your family having any reservations about Jack still? And she's like, well, I have to say that when I saw that footage, I was very surprised by how Jack's treated my family. I screamed bloody murder at him. And then I said, okay, we're still getting married, though, right? Because my dream's about five years old. And Jack's was like, you know, I was a rough week. I had everyone in town.

I was, you know, entertaining my sister, you know, you know, the brink's nagging me, nagging me, and I was like, what about me? I was like, yeah, that's the point. Like, he's trying to excuse it, but he doesn't even see what he did wrong. Exactly. He's like, they were nagging me.

What about me in the relationship? That's the point you selfish fuck. Yeah, I thought this was actually such a telling moment because when he was like, he starts off with like a sort of like a perfunctory admission of guilt. He's like, well, the way I talked to them was inappropriate, but I had the pressure of entertaining my sister, which is like, what's he talking about? It's not like he had to take her to Hamilton or something. And he's like, I got a few drinks in me and like,

and while he's saying this, Bernie goes, it was a lot, it was a lot. So she's already like, making excuses for him when what he's saying is bullshit. Like he did, there was not pressure entering your sister that's like, that's fake. They're asking him questions, questions that need to be asked, especially because you have a checkered pass at best.

So someone's gonna ask you questions, deservedly so, and you're gonna like interpret that as like everyone coming down on you, so therefore you say, what about me, what about me? Get ready, Brittany, this is the rest of your life. The moment you question Jack, but anything, it's gonna be, what about me? What about me? Good luck with that me good luck with that good luck with that totally

She's like, why don't I had to speak sometimes? Okay Don't know how to speak. Oh, well the next question is just Brittany's family get offended the jack said he bought their baby Because the vernacular is not really great and he goes yeah, I didn't see that part Because the for Macular is not really great and he goes yeah, I don't see that part And he's like you lived it and did the interview and just like what didn't you get about it's English? Singlish you don't have to be a world famous DJ to understand that Yeah, it's hard to get some else like Andy mouth And he's like I mean Jackson's like Andy look I don't have a family okay

You're leaving Apple family so it's very time so and he's like yes you do you do I love my friends. They are like my family you're right, Andy and I love you guys I'm thankful for it and he's like no you literally have a family jacks you have a mother Okay, and by the way, this is, I killed his mother on TV. Yeah, and by the way, don't forget, like it was only what, an episode ago, two episodes ago, when he was,

there were like so mad of accusations of playing the quote unquote, dad card, et cetera. And then here he is literally saying, I'm not trying to make any justifications, but I don't have any family. I mean, like, that is a verbatim quote, you know? Um, yes, and he's like, but you have a mom, like, and what about your sister, Jack? Don't you have a sister?

So it's like, so his mom invited and he's like, and Jack goes, you don't think I don't want my mom and my wedding. I'm like, well, based on the fact that you have not invited her, then yes, I would say you just want her. I think you just said she was dead. Yes. Don't act like a victim. Like if you want your mom and your wedding, invite your mom. Like it's like invite your mom.

You can still be mad at her, but invite her. Because you know you're gonna bury the hatchet at some point. So it drives me nuts. Yeah, and it's like it's a live too short for this. And Brittany's like, I think that the mom should try. There, I said it. And he's like, Savannah, prompt you know the mom. What do you think of this?

She goes, well, she can see his pain over the television. That's pretty gross, yo. It's a comment on her to reach out. Yes, much like my friends, have reached out after they accused me falsely of licking things to redraw a knife. And Jackson's like, well, what would you do, Annie? What would you do? And Braden, he's like, it's hard because we were going, we were gonna go. And then we were told to wait. And he's like, yeah. And you know, then this gets really sad. I don't want to make fun of someone's dad died, but I will say Oh god, so sometimes when I hit I don't know if you have this problem on your MacBook But if you put your wrist too far down while you're typing it moves your cursor to a different place

Because I don't have that you know, I don't have my I have a whole space for my wrists over here I've got like two big squares of no buttons, and you can just put your wrist down right there, and it's like a whole world of like, then there you go. But this is what it's like, this is what that problem went to. She brings me, says,

it's hard because we were going, and we were told to wait, Jacks, and he died, been disgusting things. You will never be around me again. I'm like, whoa! Whoa! What just happened? Yeah, so I mean, basically, I mean it's a sad story. I mean, and the thing is like we don't know really what the truth is because Jack's... He really does lie. And I'm not taking away his grief, but he lies. So it's like, it's hard to know, but it sounds like it did happen.

Like, there was some weird shit going on where the mom didn't tell him, and that's like, it's hard to know, but it sounds like it did happen. Like there was some weird shit going on where the mom didn't tell him. And that's like, that's really terrible. But I just feel like be mad at your mom, but still invite her to your wedding because. Yeah. And then he said, regardless if my dad said, don't tell the kids, I would say your dad hasn't told tomorrow, get on the plane. Well, first of all, if he was in stage four, like she wouldn't necessarily know that, and he's also basically saying that the dad did tell the,

you know, say don't tell the kids. I mean, you've got to respect your father's wishes, you know? If your dad didn't want, and this is, you know, not being mean or anything, just my opinion, if your dad says he doesn't want you to see him like that, your dad doesn't want you to see him like that, you know what I mean? So I don't know, we don't really know what's going on, but of course, the Jacks will continue to make it all about him this entire time.

I did like it. He say, did like that. He said, I understand that my mom lost your husband, but I'm the kid. I'm the kid. Yeah, you're 40. I mean, yeah, it just seems like a whole family of fucked up already.

So while he's talking about this and Andy's like, well, what would your dad have thought about the wedding and Britney saying like, well, people really like, like he was texting like, uh, Jackson sister and they're talking about the dad. And James just like, he's just texting on his phone. And so I was like, are you kidding? A F? And James like, oh, get the fuck off my dick fuck off. I don't give a shit. It's not your job to tell me You know, it's like it says like um No one's allowed to talk to me like that like that's crazy He's like, you know, I talked to me like that either. I'm an international DJ And for it's like you tell you talk about my family

Like she's gonna start crying and and he's like it's not nice to him So what am I supposed to do I'm there talking to me and he's like it's not nice and you're wrong and James like oh Oh, it's not okay. It's not okay. Vandenpromp's like do not do not talk like that to Andy That's not okay. He's like what you want me to say though? My team's shot of off dude. We're trying to be on your side. We're trying so hard. Like Andy and Lisa have been like two of the four people who have been supporting you.

Like, why do you do this to yourself? Like, please, you gotta work. I'm thinking, who are your allies? Oh my God. And then Vanderpump's like, if you keep talking like that, you're gonna lose all your supporting us. Is that a threat, Lisa? From you, Lisa? Well, maybe my god. And then Vanderpump's like, if you keep talking like that, you're gonna lose all your support. And he goes, is that a threat Lisa from you? Lisa?

Well, maybe it is. It's fire at you like five times. She's your boss and Andy's your boss. And they can both kick you off the show. And then it's like off to like, like a three month stint on some VH1 show before obscurity. So yes, it is a threat. So what's in store for James? Like, you know,

I'm just gonna work with my music girl and travel America. And then I'm gonna go DJing. And it's just gonna be a great time. I mean, we're gonna take over the world. Public politics for everyone. Yeah, girl. Yeah, girl. And then this Tom number two, have a message for all the haters out there. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, he's taking some real restraining Andy, not to go online and yell at people, but I know not to feed the trolls. I'm like, you literally bought the troll three boxes of candy in Mexico. So, you know, I just, I just want everyone to to know my wife is beautiful and sexy so you can suck my classic take Okay, I get the the shame that Katie takes for weight which I've said a million times is ridiculous because she's not even fat

I'm like she's not even close to being fat. We've seen you in a bikini, okay? So I get why that would be hurtful, but I love that he only mentioned that stuff because Katie doesn't only get shit for that Katie gets shit for that and everything else about her because she's a hateful, hateful, vile human being. Okay? That's why. That's why. That's why. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, 100%. I co-signed that. Um, so then Peter comes out with- I might get alone now. I might get a hateful loan now. So Peter comes by with low job shots and then Ken and Bo and Jiggy and Harrison and

there's a platter of mamas beer cheese and it's like it's over, it's done. And then Peter hands a lot of love drinks. Is that alcohol? I just talked about being an alcoholic. So thanks. And then he's like this is a drink from from sir, it has barely any alcohol in it at all. Yeah, I know kidding. And it's $35 thanks.

So then everyone gives a cheers and chats goes, so can we send this one to the morgue and officially call it dead? It's like, what a last line. No, what a last line line but it is the last line which means that the number rules is officially done and we break we do like uh...

i'm hoping that i hope that some some fissures were created in this reunion in nexies and we're back into crazy catty form i have hope for it i don't know what's gonna happen i don't know what the future is for the show given that they're all growing up, etc. But in the meantime, I feel like summer houses are only hope. Because I'm super into summer house. Yeah, well, we're going to go talk about that one. We're going to be doing another one of these videos. Wednesday night at 8.30 p.m. Pacific time. That's when we're going to record real housewives of New York City and as always those videos will be available with the entire archive we're almost at 40 videos now which is crazy. So there's like

around 50 hours of content in there so you guys can find that over on Patreon at Crafts on demand. And shirts and live show tickets, etc. at WatchWitCrafts.com. We sure love you guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. music. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. slash survey.