Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Turning the (Multiplication) Tables

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

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A little chill that's quick and done, sober. You do. So anyway, today we are here to talk about Vanderp Pump Rules for Union Part One, which is probably more fun than the entire season. It was pretty, pretty hilarious. I was cracking up the entire time. Yes, it was full of viled monsters, which is basically what we need. Yeah. The only thing missing from this was a basket of laundry for KD to fold while she sat there and did fucking nothing, but give dirty looks to everybody. Yeah, exactly. I mean, maybe there was did fucking nothing but give dirty looks to everybody. Yeah, exactly

I mean, maybe there was one there we just didn't see it Just like off camera to the side That doesn't the the bud to give her like a little table a little folding table or whatever. Yeah So we open with LVP with jiggie. Is it jiggie or Harrison? Is it Harrison? I think jiggie is being phased out by life. I don't like what maybe should have shown up to Tom Tom a little bit more. Mmm hmm. Well, we were opening it. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So we see Lisa sitting on in the dressing room and Harrison's like on the couch and she's like, is there anything you need to work out today Harrison? Any feelings towards Jiggy? Any resentments?

He's like, yeah, people keep dressing me in fucking flannel and I've got a lot of fur and then you keep taking me in public and putting me on tables and then people keep poking me to see if I'm alive and I have to keep trying to tell them I'm not Jiggy, nobody understands me. My life is fucking hell. Okay. That's my problem. Yeah, I was just kidding You're just a dog you're not really supposed to talk I'm not talking I'm in your head. Oh, no So

So then Lala shows up in a sports car to the reunion, which just really greats me. I don't know I'm just like over it. I'm I'm I don't love this thing where she is yelling at people like Raquel or yelling at or like shaming Shina for dating guys who just want to be on TV and then she has like a Lambo or Ferrari or whatever like. The point is that like everyone whores themselves out. Okay, so don't try to shame other people for it. Yeah, she's like, you just wanna be with the guys who wanna be on TV and I just wanna be on TV, but in my car is on TV, so it's better.

Like, she justifies her way is always like the higher class way. Yeah, it's more acceptable to like, you know, like, order yourself out to get onto a video on demand Called the row or gaudy or whatever, but like to get on reality TV. That's somehow more shameful. I'm a guess it is I'm just like point. You know what she doesn't You know, no matter how you credit no matter how you cook this cut this pie Making out with orange Robbie from the bachelor at is just fucking disgusting Sheena. Okay, that's like the lowest thing anybody's ever done on the show. And I'm rooting for you Sheena. Yeah. But making it with Orn Drabby and then just smiling about it like

it wasn't traumatizing. Right. They show the clip of it. Yeah. That's like the grossest thing that's ever happened on the show. Sheena, you should be a shame. I'm so glad I don't watch The Bachelor at No Really? What the significance of Orange Robbie truly is. I mean, you pretty much saw it. It was all there in about five seconds. First bomb, spray tan, fake care. Just wants to be on TV and we'll do anything. I mean, I guess like everybody. Yeah. So we're seeing lots of clips. It's sort of like a trailer for the reunion beforehand. And I'm like, I'm not going to go through all of it. I didn't recap it.

But I just like point the things that I thought were funniest what where when you see Brittany backstage saying I mean a really good mood today and then just cuss her be like shhh I am a heel b- I am a heel b- well yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it went so fast I think they had so much to get in on this reunion We didn't really get to watch Katie marinate and ranch. Yeah You know, I don't know Chris didn't like the jerking around her cock calling and her dressing room trying to catch a butterfly So whatever the fuck she's doing these days. Yeah, exactly. So um, it opens up, the reunion opens up properly with Andy saying hi to Lisa Vanderpomp,

and being like, you know, a year ago, we were on the eve of opening up Tom Tom, and now we're on the eve of opening up Vanderbump Garden in Vegas. Which is like the least interesting note to open on. Yeah, I mean, the biggest news here is the Andy Shaved, shaved which is nice because he's doing that new dad thing where he's like I'm a dad So Shade is taking the back seat so that's the thing cuz you know I'm a dad and so least of an op-up

We celebrated taunt on we celebrate the fan of pump gardens. It's almost like I didn't have a baby yesterday Okay, had a didn't have a baby yesterday. Okay. Had a baby. Still got a baby Yeah, I mean seriously seriously seriously seriously Kakao So it moves to Sandy next. He's like sand of all now. You're a bar owner in a meme off sweater You feel like a man now you feel like a man, huh? And times like well, I've always felt like a man, bro. So thanks dude Yeah, all right, so let's show a montage of you crying throughout the seasons again. Still feel like a man still feel like a man

And oh good and then Britt me Oh good and then Brit me Yeah wedding planning. Oh my goodness. Yeah, you know she announced it to everyone every day on Facebook She's like the saddest advent calendar ever You've just opened up a little door and take out a tiny wing to eat every day that you wait for her wedding. It's a tick-tack so Tiny wing I just got that at first. I was like imagine like an actual wing and I was like oh, oh, that's right. I used to work at haters Yeah, a little wing. Yeah, took me a second, but once they once they hit me hit me hit me a good way

me, hit me, hit me, hit me, good way. It's worth it. Buffalo soldier! Yeah, so he's like, yeah, so Jackson, are you helping with the webbing? And Jackson's like, no, I'm pretty much snorted the flower wall to care that, clean that up. But otherwise, fuck it, she's a woman. So, yeah, she does it.

Yeah. And Lala, you and Randall are engaged Muzzle Muzzle she's like yeah, she's you. I'm just so happy being in fiance Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep and you know having you know all this all this money that we have You know especially having that extra million dollars that won't most certainly will not be paid off to any rappers anytime soon that won't most certainly will not be paid off to any rappers anytime soon. This was filmed before. I know, I wish we missed. I wish that the reunion hadn't missed that because that's the best episode of Vanderpump Rules Ever. I know, seriously. So then he has to like talk to Katie.

So I cry, Katie. She's like, laundry there. Why aren't you even bothering with Katie Katie or Kay just move past Katie. She's such a downer He's like Katie are you ready for today and she goes, yes ready as I can be Womp, womp Just say yes as ready as I can be to talk about all that fucking nothing. I did the season. Yeah, exactly And then Andy clearly has nothing to say to James. He's like, James, great to see you. You brought your clefted chin. Well, I guess he couldn't make fun of his implants

or something. So he had to make fun of something fucking Andy. Yeah, that's true. No, no longer asking the women what they have all gone done to their bodies. So he has to go to the clefted chin. And then he location shame sheena. He's like so sheena thanks for making the trek all the way out here from wherever it is you live and you're kind of beach. Yeah, she goes, you're welcome. So there's another chair is it for Bo or the dark passenger and stuff. He's like, yeah, yeah you know really still love

extra comments even though it was canceled a long time ago yeah neither new thing to talk about and then Kristen he's like uh so Kristen we'll talk about why you look like the cabana lady from ad tv soon but in the meantime are you single huh she's like kakal I am and then everyone's like, Cacao? I am. And then everyone's like, what? At least the Vanderpump is like, broken bird radar activated. Oh no.

What do you do when you've seen a bird that you've wanted to be broken for years? Finally broken. And we're opening a new restaurant. It's called Kakao Kakao. Kakao Kakao Kakao. So then there's like a question about why Jack's bought James underwear and whatever. He just says it was a nice gesture and then it really moves on. So Andy starts talking about how James's friendship sort of ended with the group when he made it, when he did his little rap about faith. And James is saying that he didn't realize

that those two lines were gonna be that impactful and I think that we can all agree because it was like two throwaway lines. And if Brittany can forgive Jack's for actually doing the deed, can't she forgive James for saying a stupid line and a rap? I mean come on And James is like

Britney's like I heard my feelings You know what I'm really sick of Britney saying I just heard my feelings because I was actually there supporting like me and China were working that And I was like someone better like in such and such I'm like it hurt your feelings jacks did this to you jacks did this to you And then Lisa who's like the broken bird council on cacao and order is like James Jamesy Wainsy no no blainsy Was it meditated was it premeditated was it pre-planned did you mean to say such a horrible rhyme and he's like no Lisa

It was pre-star all right I came up with my head that's called freestyle Yeah, she's like no pre-meditation Yeah, she's like no pre-meditation not guilty Yeah, and so And so yeah He James basically is like I felt really bad. I was a bad boy. That's not a boy I felt really bad that I'm barris to you Britain And I don't want to say it so much because Christians over there make confacers at me

Christians over there make conflaces at me. CUT IT OUT! CUT IT OUT! CUT IT OUT! Christi, be naughty! I was being a naughty boy, but you're being a naughty girl to me. Christi, then. And Stasi's like, uh, yeah, you're only saying sorry because you weren't being included.

Like me in season three. Ha ha ha. You're totally taking a page out of my... This is the thing about this reunion. These people are also terrible. I don't know how we're gonna root for anybody here. We can't that well That's all such fucking hypocrites my god stoncy that's exactly what you did you came back crawling to me back on this show So of course that's what he's doing. It's called having a job, okay?

You know what like that's where this that's why this reunion was so good because this show is best when there's no one to root for When just for the moment that you're starting to root for James and Raquel, then James just says some vile things. Like, no. There's no one to root for. Stupid James, he could have really won this reunion by just staying calm. That's all he had to do, but he comes out of the gate like, you're fine. You're ugly.

You smell like poo poo. Yeah, he can't control himself. You're right. All he had to do was play it calm. But in certain ways, he almost needs to act up to provoke the monsters out of like Jackson, Brittany, and Katie, et cetera, because if he doesn't act up, then they're gonna be able to have a be able to do this bullshit thing. I'm like, no, we're just like growing up and we know we don't want to spend time with people we don't like. But once they get provoked, their real monster sides come out and James has a monster side

Which we all know about but they have crazy monster sides that they're trying to hide and We know we we are owed that to see their monster sides remember that they that they're there Yeah, well it doesn't take much push in that's for sure No, it doesn't all out in full force right at the beginning. And Kristen is cracking the app. She's just over there like, you know, it's what he did it. He did it just so that people would be chanted. And then bearers, it's like, okay, Kristen,

you know, you're your borrowed storyline that has nothing to do with you. You know, she's just gonna like keep riding that as hard as she can. And I'm like, but then now I'm mad at Kristen because I'm standing up for James. He was terrible. Why am I standing up for James? Yeah.? Yeah, I mean it was shitty of him to make that rhyme but also It's not like it's not like they were at Coachella, okay

It's not like there was an entire so heart-hunt that was about to start chanting something like the way Jackson banged faith It's not even a good a good rhyme. It was like a Rolls-Royce wreath and Jackson banged faith I guarantee that was not going to catch on. In, see you next Tuesday at Sir. Okay. Like I guarantee it was not going to be. Yeah, we've been part of the crab at that place. It's not going to catch on. Okay. Yeah. So Andy is like, you know, Jack, you said, you know, you said, how many mistakes can James make? And that's awfully rich coming from you as someone who's made a huge number of mistakes and asked for apologies for the past seven seasons. Yep, and then typical to ask answer.

Yeah, but the difference is, I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm changing. I realize I'm different. I'm totally different. I'm changing. I'm like, really, I've been reading your Twitter and your Instagram comments and you're not really changing.

And frankly, you're more vile than he's been. All the orange Jennifer Hudson, okay, you're not changing. All right, at least a van der pump is like, but you're older than him. What were you doing at his age? And Jackson's, well, I mean, you could say that all day. I'm like, yeah, but we said it right now. So just think about that for a second

and realize what a hypocrite you're being. Yeah. Yeah, he'll go on Instagram and be like, you're fat and stupid. Shut up. You just shut the fuck up. I'm blocking you. Like classy jacks. That's our response to like watch the viewers or whatever. Yeah. And then Lisa's like, what were you doing four years ago? And then we see a montage of Jack's four years ago, just farting in people's faces, being ridiculous, breaking things. I'm the number one guy in this group. Yeah, I'm the number one guy in this group. Oh, God.

And then Tom was like, the difference is, like, you were yourself, bro, and you still weren't like excluded, dude. That's the difference. And he's like, I've known you 20 years! And Katie goes, it's hard to be excluded from something that you were never part of. I'm like, Katie, okay, James is part of your group. I'm sorry to tell you this.

Maybe even if it's just for TV, he's part of the group, okay? He's been on the show for like, it's been like four or five seasons. Yeah, he was cast and I like the Katie acts like she's part of like the Heathers, you know, she's like, oh, hey, you're not even connected to us. Katie, no one wants to be connected to you. This isn't about like, oh gee, I hope I get invited over to eat some free notes and watch Katie fold socks. Yeah. Okay, it's a TV show that he was also cast on. Yeah, if her logic is that like, well, she like she, Kristen and Stass are always besties and then Tom, Tom and Jack's always besties and that's the friend group. Well, she like she Kristen and Stassero is besties and then Tom Tom and Jacks Roy's besties And that's the friend group. Well then Arianna is not part of the friend group then Lala's not part of the friend group then James is not part of the friend group

Brittany isn't so like what is And that's that's always by problem with Jackson's argument like he told us he's like well What what Katie even wants to hang out with a bunch of 30 year olds? Like that doesn't even make sense with James. Like it's stupid. Well, you're all having no problem riding Lala's PJ. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And in fact, Tom is like, well, what about Lala and Sustis?

Like Lala put in the time and effort to get to know us by flying us on a PJ to 10 minutes away. Okay? That's why she gets to stay. Yeah. Like we called Lala a stupid whore for two years. gets to stay. Yeah, like we call it Lala Stupid Horror for two years. She earned this. Yeah, they acted like she passed the SATs

or whatever she got flying colors on the SATs. Well, to be fair, if Lala's bringing a PJ to the group and James is bringing nothing but like some low level of rap songs, I guess there is sort of a point. Like I can sort of see it. So James is like well so Lala is like um my friendship with James is not just it's just one that like I missed tremendously but he messed it up and I said you can't attack my nephew I'm in James like James look at all of the room.

You turned on James a long time ago you turned on James the second you got the Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like to just be like, fuck you James. So I do sort of stand by that, but what I did not like was that then she pretended to make nice and then went with the mean girls. Like that I thought was really obnoxious. And James, it's just weird because James, I feel like we understand his hurt so much more than everyone else's and I feel bad taking his side because I feel like he's a shit person.

But I do see like a little broken bird child. And I don't know, like you just really see him hurting and he's got these pressures from his crazy mom and broke dad and he's trying to keep all the shit together and he lashes out because he was shot upon and has weird childhood issues and was broken, arm broken by bullies. And so I feel like when for Lala, Lala sees that too, and Lala knows that. And so for Lala to pretend to reach out again,

I think it was just like really nasty, really nasty. Well, I don't think James has, you know, James has reasons, but he doesn't have excuses. And that's all he uses, and he started solving. And like I'm so sick of that. And I feel like that's kind of our modern world. It's like you do anything, and it's, you know, I've said it a million times. It's like the law and order defense You just wait until the end where someone cries about how their mom was mean to them and they're like, okay

Well, you'll just get one year for all those 19 murderers that you did mm-hmm, you know Well, so James can't even look at Lala while she's talking. She's like um, James Can you give me a look because I'm using breath that is precious and I don't want to waste it Because every breath I spend on you is breath that I'm not breathing onto a rant, okay? And it is probably hard for her to breathe. I don't even know how she's opening her mouth at this point I mean she basically looks like two baby arms opening like a tiny little bit with like a little hole It's like a straw for an air hole. Jesus Christ. So he's like, well if that was the if you with the last bridge, consider it burned.

And see a lot of us like see, see how I ask, see how I ask. And which is everybody's thing. They start fucking with James and then they go say say So Lisa's like, but don't you have any regret about losing a friend? He's like no, I don't care I don't care at all and Lala's like I put my heart and soul into trying and saving it I'm like you went to coffee with him once and instead of him up that night like you had plans for like five hours from then and you Stood him up and then you waited in front of a restaurant for him to like try and fake it again because Vanderpump made you. Okay. Yeah. Come on. And then he's, uh, he's like, I don't have remorse. And then the criticism's like, see? See? Mariposa. Mariposa. Mariposa. Mariposa. Mariposa. So, um, yeah, so basically, yeah, uh, yeah, I'm sorry. I got lost. I was saying because Mariposa So yeah

Yeah, I'm sorry I got last time I was saying cuz I was cuckoing all over the place I don't believe you Lola you were trying to tell me I was going on a downward spiral trying to give me fake homie BS friend ship stuff you're completely fake as a friend and it was a pity me and that's a handout Then can say you hand that with chicken girl like was a pity me and that's a hand out then you can say you have that with chicken. Good. Good. And then Lala's like, I've been thinking

on your ship since last season. Excuse me, his ship is also the one that stopped and picked you up while you were drowning. Yeah, exactly. And honestly, that was really nice of you to say I was a ship because we all know it's just a shitty old canoe. Okay. So James is like, oh, and you're still aflit right now.

It's probably the ring on your finger, which was actually a pretty good burn. I was like, yeah, it's true. It is a flotation device. So you think Chris is like, don't talk to her like that. Stop James, stop! When Lala has the dirtiest mouth out of all of them

and says the nastiest thing, I mean, James has a terrible mouth too. But like, I mean, like, mean like oh Lala so precious that Chris needs to defend her and be like never post her. And I love how James has always response to Chris. He's like stop talking Chris Dan. Stop, stop. And I'll be like, oh you were so angry, James. You sound so cross, you need to listen to me young man. You only have 19 more chances to work in this dress. So Lisa, I'm really trying to change. I haven't had a beer in 10 minutes Lisa. I'm a good boy. I'm a good boy. I'm not yelling at people anymore. Shut up, Christian. I'm a good camera. She was like, yeah, like right into the camera. She's like, are you catching this Mary Posis? Yeah, she was like, Marsha Clarke and the OJ trial.

So, so basically, so then we go to commercial, we come back and he asks Gina, she's like, he's like, last season you were Rob Sess, and then we get to see a montage. Is she like, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob We're talking about it. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Let's get in the bus, friends. So what do you, what? What do your friends see something different

in these guys than you do? And she's like, um, I'm just dating a fuck boys because they're like hot and fun to hang out with. And then maybe someday we can all get married. I don't know. I'm totally not love with them. I'm not gonna come fuck boys anymore. I'm gonna come fuck Ben because. I'm not gonna come fuck boys anymore I'm gonna call him fuck Ben because I'm more respectful

Okay, if it's just respectful to call them fuck boys, then I will call them soon to be engaged to me boys Okay, I like that. I like how Andy framed the question because he's like and then you got batch loretts sloppy seconds from that guy Yeah sloppy seconds from that guy Robbie. Yeah So she's like, ah I'm like I'm in a relationship. I'm like like next time I'm in a relationship I'm gonna be in it like forever so like now's the time to enjoy my life being single And Lisa's like I don't agree. I feel that you wanted that relationship with Adam and it's not the rockatory I feel that you wanted that relationship with Adam and it's not derogatory darling, but you wanted something more and inside

Your bird was breaking My way further my feather falling through your bloodstream This a van der pomp you could not be more wrong. I'm just really happy to be single and on my own and I Cry myself to sleep every night, but like happy tears tears I just like cry with happiness and I send letters to the penguin and say this is from your father who loves you even though he never accepted him because he walked out before I could tell him about the penguin I'm so happy Lisa I'm happy on alone happy on alone on the bright side you know what's really good Loub tears Oh, the question is jack. So after three years of dating and nine months after, fucking a 95-year-old lady, fucking in front of her 90, fucking face in front of a 95-year-old lady. Probably also fucking a 95-year-old lady. I don't know. You don't have to change that. You popped the question at a fast food place off the freeway with semis in the background.

So, what do we talk about that? And Jackson's already panting. He's like, and then Brittany jumps and she's like, Hey, it was perfect for us. We love cramps, bots. I'm like, you don't have to tell us. You can't know, Katie. At first I thought, why are we paying paying for crafts and we've got them already

Then I realized these are the fried guy We love craft spots That's gonna be the name of our new dating service So then jacks is like that's the only place my dad loved in LA and all of LA that's the only place my dad loved in LA. Not all of LA, that's the only place my dad loved. And then, you know, Stasi, how hard was it keeping the secret? And she's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like broke. And then, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah. And then, or it also means that it's pretty much guaranteed that he's gonna cheat.

It's one of those two things, right? Either you guys nothing left to split, or he knows he's gonna cheat, so he doesn't want to give away the money. I think he's not gonna save any money or have any money. It's Jack's. Jack's is one of those guys who's going to be in a bar in five to ten years just hitting on chicks, like waiting for them to pay for the check, living in some little, you know,

shack behind a donut shop. You know, he's going to be like that L.A. trope. Yeah. So, you guys think you're right. Yeah, he is, but he's going to be like the sadder version of that. Yeah, I love that. Well, that's how L.A. tropes go. They never get happier. Yeah, he is, but he's gonna be like the sadder version of that. Yeah, I love that. Well, that's how LA tropes go. They never get happier. Yeah, very well. They just get sad. You ever see a flower wilt? So, so.

Like everybody's very did. That really nice cemetery in the valley just so they can live in a nice house again, you know. We'll see him in 10 years at the saddle man shopperating the mechanical bowl. Totally. So, but Lala is getting a, Lala is getting a prenup with Rand. And Lisa Vanderbub is like, are you Lala?

I'm like Lisa, do you think that Rand is not sounding prenup? Lala is number four out of eight. Okay, come on. Like there's going to be four more behind her. I love how she was acting like Lala was falling off a cliff. She's like, Lala! Yeah, Max holds my hand. I'm gonna throw you off this cliff.

You grab Lala and bring her back to me. Um, um, Mala's like, yeah, because he's worked for a really long time. And I want him to know that Lala's not coming for him. Yeah. And I want him to know that Lala is not coming for him. Yeah, he's worked really hard to revolutionize Hollywood with this crazy new genre called mob movies. I mean, Hollywood's just not ready for it yet, which is too bad, because God, he was great. Also, California is an equal.

What do they call it? It's not equal opportunity state, because that has to do with jobs. But people who are married, it's equal property. Is it called? I don't know. Equal called? I don't know. Equal fault. I don't know.

Something when you get divorced is automatically equal, you know. So what? So I think she could fight the, I think she could fight the prenup, especially after she has a kid. Yeah. So she gets to keep law, but he also gets to keep law. Yeah. That's the law and the law.

They each get a law. Yeah. So I can hang out with Kristen and her little kid, Kha and Kha. So yeah, look. Don't you guys love some good phonics, humor? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, so, so, so, Lala starts talking about how Rand proposed. And she's like, yeah, we had dinner on the beach and then like they brought over a video

monitor and it showed like a montage of our lives I was like me with his kids who just absolutely love they just love me so much and then This video played and then all of a sudden around and he was like on his knees and he was like I can't find my calculator Oh shit You does this Kalimari ring work. Can you marry me? it. Um, you, does this calamari ring work? Can you marry me? That's why I'm down here. And I was like, that was so romantic, Rand. And then fireworks went off. And he said, this was paid for generously by 50 cent, who said, I never had to pay him back ever. I said, aren't you spending too much? He said, don't worry. I have six years.

I paid this back. As long as I don't do anything terrible to fuck up this loan. This should be fine. And so she's like it was like a movie. And Andy's like, okay, so great story. My point is, he would go on the Kardashians and he went on flipping out but he won't come on our show. Why is that? She's like, well, I just don't want Rand to be on. It's just like a lot and he's like, yeah, but everyone's put their relationships on the show and I'm kind of your boss. I'm telling you right now you have to put rant on the show, okay? And this bullshit.

And she's like, I show quite a bit. We're not talking about your deco la charge la la. We're talking about Randa, I can't believe how she came dressed to a kid of Ruff road. And everyone, so then she and her jumps in. And she's like, everyone heard of a hundred and amazing, amazing addition as you are. It's really not bad.

And all of a sudden, maybe you should date somebody with a career that's important or something. Yeah. She's like, what does that mean? She's like, it means that like maybe if you have someone to do something to protect, no, no, no, what does career mean? Well, maybe if you had something important, you were with someone who had something huge to protect and she's like, that and she does like that's weird and sausage like, yeah, rude.

My boyfriend is as important as your fiance. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Randall, like, he literally produced the row, which can be seen on certain video purveyors, okay? Like that's huge. Yeah, that producer of Goddy, he's sure got a lot of pride to protect. So that's kind of rude, like my boyfriend just is important as your fiance.

And I mean Lala is being a little ridiculous. In a certain way, she has a point because like, yeah, like if you do have a career, you probably don't want to go on to reality TV. But at the same time, if you do have a career, maybe you don't date someone whose career is being on reality TV if that's can be a concern for you. Yeah, she's like, well, there are a lot of men

who don't want to be on the show and he's one of them, okay? And Brand isn't all of my life. I still have things to share. I'm like, name one, please. Yeah. Because really, the only thing you've talked about is what you get from Rand. Yeah, that's all you talk about. And like, unfortunately, the season we also, you know, there's also stuff with your dad. But literally, it's all about that. And then occasionally, you want to talk about your singing which is bankrolled by Rand. So come on.

Yeah. And Lisa's like, that's your most important part so you don't show it. And so I understand this is like such a Lisa Vanderpump thing to say to you. So she's like, well, so nobody here hangs out with Rand, right? I mean, it wouldn't be a natural fit because Because of course, nobody here even knows Rand, am I right? And they're like, no, we totally hang out with him all the time. She's like, oh, oh, what's in the insulation? Well, then he should show up.

He should show up because I didn't realize how much he hung out with you all. He should be on the show. Yeah. and then she's like he does and Chris is like whoa He doesn't interact with James Kennedy, but the rest of us. I'm like oh burn Kristen. Yeah, wow So yeah, so then Lala starts this is when Lala starts like going and coming for she knows saying that she know He's bringing sketchy dudes on to the show Just because they only want camera time And I'm like true. What did you say true? It is true, but it's like Lala like you are dating Randall Like the reason why you met Randall is because he called you over and offered you a role

And then you stepped to them that night and then you got on to both the row or whatever it was so like You hoard yourself out for a role, and I support it. So don't be upset that Shina is with guys. We're hoarding themselves out for a role on reality TV. Yeah, and Shina's like, um, um, what's the most awkward person like ever to be on this show on camera?

And Rob and Shay, new is important, and my job is important, and so they had the show like 100, and Rob did not want to do the show and you can ask almost anyone here. I like their shirt at it almost. And all of this like, um, oh really? I don't want to do the show. Come to my house for a dinner party. Come to my cast trip and my big bear rental.

Yeah. And seeing this like, what's me forcing Rob to do things. I was like really in control of Rob Remember and big bear Harry gave me a trapper keeper of cleaning lists Remember when he wanted to go sleep early and I was like I can't believe it going to sleep early But then he's like no I want to go see burly so it's like okay I'll go see burly with you also and then I had to like one big block as well I'm gonna sleep early and I'm gonna go sleep early with him too. That was like amazing And then this is what I hate the most of what about Lala when she's just like oh my god

I can't I just died bored I'm bored and bored with you and bored. I just can't anymore. Shut up. Mala Jesus Christ Also by the way you fucking fake sober person sitting there with your vape Like you swinging around her her weed vape in the thing. Like, I check, you know what? I can't board. Yeah, I'm a little overla-la-la. I feel like. I can't be like a lot anymore. They really need to fire half this cast. Yeah, so now we get talking to Tom about Tom Tom and Andy is saying, Lisa, you seem like you're sometimes frustrated with Tom and Tom. Like, what were the Tom's roles originally supposed to be?

And Lisa's basically saying how, well you know, Ken and I, we thought they would want to, they would have come by some more and come by the restaurant. We had opened arms. We thought, come on in, come on in. We have an open door policy transparency. But they didn't want to come by No, this is so Lisa Vanderpump it was cracking me up this hall Lisa was so Lisa in this episode and

And he's like cuz Tom's looking like he's getting that like squinty eye thing where he's getting really mad And so and he's like so did you guys feel like that? He's like no and He's getting really mad and he's like, so did you guys feel like that? And he's like, uh, no. And Tom never did. He's like, we wanted to be in gross Lisa. Like all we really wanted was to be a part of your world. And she's like, well, you know, at the end, we said no,

because it was so much work and we were behind schedule. And he's like, mm, okay. Well, it seemed like they were in charge of drinks and then Pandora and then Slike, amen. Did you guys feel totally neutered in my half-man and Tom was like, dude, we didn't just use Google. We spent thousands of dollars in months and months coming up with drinks, bro.

Yeah. Dude, we spent like six to eight months coming up with a cocktail and Slike comes in and just has like two days. I'm like, yeah, it's probably why they decided to go with Sly and Pendoora because it only took them two days. Well, they ended up using their drinks because it made them easier to make because they had so many ingredients.

I mean, it's hard to be on Team Vanderpump in this one because she's obviously full of shit. You know, and then she's kind of forced to admit the reality of it later. She's like, you know what, they were brought in for this. Well, the evil. Not for the business acumen.

All right. Yeah. So Ariana, so like, you know, Ariana has just been hanging out there the entire time just like everyone like, these morons. So, she's like, Ariana, what did you think? And she's like, well, I'm like hurt because Santa falls hurt and I take hurt very seriously. And like,

these guys spent like thousands of dollars on something that at least the van of pump would have loved. And at least it's like, but I did love it. I did love it. She's like, something worse than frozen shot machine, which I'm glad someone finally asked because that's really been like, where is that frozen machine? And Lisa has this whole excuse that barely makes any sense. She's, well that was Kinsbolt. You see, he had already planned out the bar, which he has done 35 times in my right and

my right everyone, 35. And so he was like, where is it, where's the machine? He couldn't find it, and then by then it was too late. I was like, wait is it, where is the machine? He couldn't find it and then by then it was too late! I was like, wait, what sort of excuse is that? Can cap that little machine in the bathroom and every day he would put one side of his nut sack in there. And now, after three weeks, it looks like he's got the nuts of a 65-year-old again. You see, there was a huge mistake. We mistook that for a goat cheese ball mecan so it got covered in cheese and made very very sad goat cheese balls and broke a few people's teeth so we had to

throw it out give it to Rosio. Well Chef Benny told us that was a screw talks machine. I'm so sorry I never wanted you to be a link. Oh I didn't realize we were using that to do experimental dishes with Chilean sea bass. Oh. Um, so, Tom's like, yeah, well, sorry I only had two days. I don't care how great she is. You can't match somebody who's been working for a month. And Lisa's like, we, I can't believe there's so much negativity.

We drink together. We enjoy this is supposed to be positive. And then Tom's like, well, that machine was after restaurant for three months, bro. So I don't know why dude Ken could do it. I did. Right. And LVP's like, well, then you should have been there more at the restaurant. Yeah. And I was like, that's why he wanted to be there when the bar was being built. I mean, how, how off is anyone else

listening to the bullshit around this room? Is it just me? What do you think, Andy? And he's like, what? I was like, I'm picking up my baby. I got a baby. Andy's like driving behind them on that little miniature BMW go kart thing that Theresa gave him.

A little rain truck. So I think Lisa, what Lisa wants to say, which she hasn't really said yet, even though I said it, was your people were hired for their personality. They're basically Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse walking around Disneyland taking pictures. You make minimum wage, probably, and have to wear a mask all day, okay?

So why don't they take this experience and make other bars? Because now they're bar, now they're owners of a bar That's like one of the best words and loss of answer list or what you know, but she can't and I don't know how much of that is like Sure, I'm a dude. It's her just admitting and not being able to admit it But she does say it she's saying it because it's working because on Ariana basically says you know, she treats She she treats them properly and seriously off camera, but on camera she does like a stick and these is like Well, I play with him, but they give me a lot to play with.

And Sasi's like, well you set them up to look foolish and she's like, um, she's like, well if you think they look foolish, I would love to have my name up there. But it's also like funny, I think it was here where like, you know what I mean to be fair, we see like a flashback of like Tom Sandevol being like downstairs at the bar and Tom Schwartz up in that little window that James D.J. out of and Tom Sandevol is like trying to throw a shaker up to Tom Schwartz

and he's like, he's throwing a two-short so it bounces up the wall and clatters back down. It does it like two more times and it's kind of like, well, Lisa may have a little bit of a point there Well, that's kind of the whole point of the storyline is like oh the wacky idiots and they can't get by without me It's like what show do you guys think you're on then all of a sudden they're gonna be like you know Bad ass loss like did somebody trick them and give them the wrong time to show without meeting Drunk in Las Vegas with Nick O'Ling. Yeah, I mean, they, you know, they like, I get their point. She is treating them like a couple of dopes, but I don't. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. She's treating them like a bunch of

dopes. They're acting more like dopes because that's their fulfilling their role and then that makes her treat them more like that. Psychology. So then Tom's like, dude. I always give 110% whether you're getting the cop whether you're getting the cocktail or Obama's getting the cocktail which is totally viable or Christians getting the cocktail Chris look Oh Kakaba yeah trying to think how she would be Obama with the bomb was like I'd like to have um one of the One of the

One of those taste button things Yeah, Obama's like yep, well, I'd really like Buzz button. Yeah, I would like a clockwork pink please So she's you know Lisa's trying to swim her way out of this because Ariana's right She does treat them like dops as a stick the thing is what do you do just change the stick now because that's kind of how Lisa is actually like a borscht belt Reality show star. They can press reset they press reset every see every season on the relationships with everyone So yes, they just you know, I mean she could like joke around but like you know it

wouldn't be too hard I bet like next season it'll be more serious like they'll be like yes we're working professionals you know but Lisa goes back to her usual excuse which is I have three to four hundred thousand people working under me I otherwise I would have chosen someone like Guillermo or Peter or Chef Joe or the flower arrangement over there. Oh, Panty. Panty, Panty. And then we learn, you know, we haven't mentioned this, but, you know, Jackson's controlled this entire season. He's decided he's going to film, he's not going to film. And now that Tom Tom were given a bar

He's furious and he's been he's trying to bring it down and undermine it and this whole time he's sitting back They're like, oh, yeah, well, they didn't even get to do anything. Oh, yeah Have they even been this not my business? It's not my business. Yeah, they've been paid have they been paid? Have they even been paid huh? Like have you even made one batch of fucking beer cheesies you fucking lose? Or why don't you mind your own business, Jacks? Yes, seriously. So they haven't gone.

Tom says they haven't gone any money yet. And Andy is like, well, as someone who's invested in restaurants, it takes a while to start earning money. And Katie is like, I don't think it's about the money. I just think they wanted salary or quarterly cake back. I'm like, bitch, that's literally about the money. That's about about the money Can't try to bamboozle me don't do that Katie

God Katie can't even bamboozle herself like you guys don't even know what it's called You know what I mean like you don't even know what you're asking for and who sits down and it's not They were saying on some after show that the the contract that they signed says non-binding at the top Why would you sign that? And why would you not know when you're going to get paid or how anything works? This all is so fucking fishy to me. And then Vanderpump does her normal, you know, avoiding the... Yeah. She's like, we spent two and a half million. I didn't say you have to come in at 10% because that would have been ridiculous. And then Sw like yeah, well our investment is our personalities. Yeah, Tom Tom shorts is losing his mind. He well Tom shorts is scared because he feels like he's like afraid

They're about to get fired or something. He's like no, no, no, it's all good. It's all good. We don't want money What will pay you Lisa? We'll pay you to be managers there But like so it's like so San have a what you honestly feel? And he's like dude honestly I love Lisa I love can but like you know we have questions they just like never get answered like how do magnets work they can't answer me. How do little seahorts is work you know you put a little pill in a bottle of water and then you've got a seahorse what the fricking know, you put a little pill in a bottle of water and then you got a seahorse. What the frick, dude?

What about sponges? Where does that water go? It just goes into the sponge is that possible? What I've known it ever invented circles. How would people drive? Yeah, what's it doing birds like they can fly but if I flat my arms I don't fly like that doesn't make sense They can fly but if I flat my arms, I don't fly, like that doesn't make sense. So I'll be peace like, well at the end of the year we'll all sit down and we'll go over all the bills. Look over the 2.5 million dollars I've spent it. We'll figure something out. I embrace you guys, I put your name up there. I never felt any negativity. This is supposed to be positive. And he's like, well, it is positive, but you know, like if I say I have a concern, you say I'm negative.

Do you want your money back? Is that it? I'll give you your money back because what am I? Just a punching bag this year. Just a sweet old punching bag with memories of Nani K. Take your money back Oh, I'll just you and cry in the corner in a negative space that you put me in Like it was ever about getting their $50,000 back. I mean so Lisa. It's just like a hundred percent Lisa and She's like will I don't want negativity so I'll give you your money back and you can still keep the five percent of zero So I'll give you your money back and you can still keep the 5% of zero you're going to get yeah You job yeah, exactly and then and he's and then Tom you're like you said Tom number two is like oh

No, no, no worry. You know we're sorting it out. Yeah, everything's fine We're gonna be so we're gonna stop a place to drink for free, right? Yeah, no, we're we're living the dream We we we gotta we have a bar on Santa Monica Boule right? Yeah. No, we're living the dream. We have a bar on Santa Monica Boulevard. Yeah, no, I'm so happy. This is amazing. Yeah, don't hurt me, Lisa. Oh. And then Andy's like, so when you gave that check,

why didn't you make sure you had money in your account? He's like, I don't know. It's certainly not because I'm just some dope. I'm a businessman. It was just a clerical error. See what happened was I didn't have money in my account and yeah. Um, I had a stack of, I had a stack of $50,000 sitting on the counter but I accidentally spilled ranch on it. You could probably guess the rest. I guess that's more of a counter

error. on it. You could probably guess the rest. Oh I guess that's more of a counter-air. And then, uh, LVP's like, yes, but he made up for it. He came back with that briefcase, with the handcuffed thing. That's what I want from them. Dope! Jokes, do you see that? Jouardu-yuuu! I do speak French occasionally. Oh good. So I see that they want to be taken more seriously, but that's not the role you were cast in. So unless you're going to rewrite the entire show, you guys are fucked. Yeah.

All this makes me want to do is go to TomTom because they do have delicious drinks there and honestly, cauliflower wings, cauliflower wings, wings. So anyway, now comes the real fun part. The real star. Are you okay over there, Ronnie? I see. This beolar is beolar doing something to you? No, I'm giving hugs. I'm turning on my hand. I see. This is one of the perks of watching Crap is on demand. You get to see Ronnie fiddling down there. Well, I'll talk in the meantime. So now we transition to the... there. Well, I'll talk in the meantime. So now we transition to the phone. Look, I'm listening. I'm here. I'm not just some dope who doesn't deserve my own podcast. Well, it's funny because Ronnie has he had to take off his his headphones to do

this, but he held one up to his ear. So he looked like he was doing a wiki wiki wiki. Like I was the records. You were my rap creation. Yes, I'm not even speaking these words. I'm just being played on a turntable. Wicked, wicked, wicked. So now we're talking about chicken wings at TomTom. Actually, another sad thing is that for people who don't watch crap is on demand, you are not going to be able to see the fact that Raquel is actually here with us right now. Welcome Raquel.

Hi, Raquel. Hi Raquel. It's a supper sweeper. Oh my God. Well, this is pretty amazing because I love a swiffer sweeper. I mean, they really are magical guys. Okay. They're not paying us to say that. Obviously, or we'd be rich. Yeah. But they are magical and Raquel came and pretty much cleaned the floor with all these fucking

old senior citizens. I was very proud of dumb, dumb little Raquel. Yeah, it was like little bambi. It was like little bambi. Little bambi just like walked into, it was like bambi just like walked right onto the highway and said, come at me cars, come at me. And the cars all tried to come at Raquel, but they all tried to come at her at the same time,

all the cars crashed into each other. And Raquel was in the middle, still standing. Yeah, you call somebody a Bambi-I bitch, don't act shocked when they get through a movie. Yeah. Oh poor Raquel. It was like, my heart was beating, watching her. She came out on stage and just like, white,

lacy dress that this crazy ruffly Fringe all over it. It sort of looked like you know you ever see like a cuddle fish Sort of you know the cuddle fish and sort of swims in it unlike the sides the cuddle fish is like little like Requel fringe. That's what that's and I'm actually creating a cuddle fish in my hands right now to really sell it Then it's really Marcel Marcel's going to be there But that's what she's sort of looked like, a swiffer cuddle fish, which was so endearing with those big. I think she looked like a wire toilet brush cleaner, but a very pretty one. Either way, your home would be cleaner after Raquel comes to it.

Yes. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what you think she looks like. Your house smells laundry fresh. Yeah. Okay. So she's like Rick Hell she has a shaky voice during all this. I mean, this is the scariest thing she's ever done and she's like Andy I had to pull out the ruffles just for you And he's like, oh, I understand someone had an exciting job interview. I heard it from someone who knows my baby, which I just had. The count?

She's like, um, I may or may not have had a job interview and I may or may not be working at sir and I may or may not Know what five times six is 29. Thank you She's and by the way when she says may or may not she's not she's not like trying to like Be elusive she really has no idea if any of this really happens in her life. She can't remember. And LVP is like, you will be working, it's sad. Like after all the shit I've just taken, your job approval has been stamped, ma'am. Yes. And then my favorite side of the whole show is Katie

with her terrible lipstick going, Katie, oh, Lisa. Lisa, like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, because no one knows, no one has known that, ah, that this girl was hired and they are so pissed. Katie's like, oh, God, and now I'm gonna have to try and recast this show again, you know. Yeah.

How much more nothing can I do for another season? Yeah, you know, and now I'm gonna have to try and recast this show again. Yeah, how much more nothing can I do for another season? Yeah, you know, and now we have Raquel and Harry working at sir. So James is building up his own little army. You can start calling him DJ of dragons. Okay. He is building up a He's building up a following. Yeah, I think Ariana and Tom should Stop hanging out with the rest of them, which it looks like they might have to anyway, because Jackson Brittney, we'll see what happens later. But they should just dump them all and start hanging out with Raquel, James, Billy Lee, Jesse, Adam, whoever else is over there that wants to be messy and Monica, the new man.

Monica. Look, I'm here for it. I'm here for Degrassi, the next generation, okay? Yeah. Although Monica is very anti-jance. He's cooking mother fuckers off the stage. Yeah, so um, so uh, Kristen, what made you decide to take down James for good? She's like, oh well, uh, you know, I've always wanted to take him down. I like, I took a break for a second because I was like,

quick off, quick off, my poster, but I'm back and it's like, oh, seriously, seriously. I like how Kristen talks about it, like it's some professional things, he's tense, he's like, well, you know, Andy, I've been trying for two years, real hard to take him back. Yeah, you know, I took it a qualification exam,

and I passed, so I feel like I'm my shots pretty good at it now. I'm Rick out, it's like, yeah, but my question is, why aren't you over it? And Chris is like, oh, because he's not changing, we're cow. Coco! Coco! May the Cocoa rest. So, uh, Andy's like, okay, so remember that girl hope was in one episode that we thought you'd be in around a lot more, but she wasn't.

So, like, what's the deal with her? And James like oh, oh, oh, I was friends with hair when I was friends with Logan during the Logan era But that's long over and Jack's like oh Logan like your boyfriend you guys are boyfriend and James like stop But I'll trade I'll trade if he wanted to be my boyfriend Yeah, I like that answer I like that James is like going to jump into Jackson's home of phobic bullshit. Also, Jackson, aren't you the one who fucks old men for money? I mean, did we forget that whole storyline?

You might want to keep that inside. You'd like. And so basically, someone was saying that, hope looked, hope looked, Raquel right in the eye. I think maybe it was Lala and said, and gave Raquel specific in the eye. Maybe it was Lala and said, and gave Raquel specific details and places of where Hope had had sex with James. And Raquel's like, well, that's it's impossible because Hope was never at our house that we were renting. But what was weird

was that there was an identical person who looked just like Hope, but she's wearing glasses. That was ugly Hope, and he... She said her name was Flope. So that's a totally different person. Well, Jack's gave you details, Andy. And he lodged you so what about that? What about details? Details of facility people, Andy?

Two tells the night. And so he's like, so why would hope lie? I don't understand. Like what would hope totally get out of lying on television in the first episode of a popular reality show? I just don't understand what's in it for hope. And Jack's, Jack's, James is like, that exactly, it's Hollywood Stoll! And he said is like that. Exactly. It's Hollywood Storl!

And he said it like Robin Leach. I love Hollywood Storl! I was like, well, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, okay? And Katie is like, yeah, it's this same thing that Rikkel gets out of dating you. I was like, you know what, Katie? You like don't say that to Rikkel, but then be friends with Lala, who's boning Randall, okay? And again, I No problem with the with the boning and the hoaring out, but don't be like

Don't shame Raquel for it, but then support Lala for it. Well Katie's hated everybody. He gets something out of their relationship because Katie gets literally nothing out of her forever. Okay, like she her big romantic night was like Fritos on the floor of the hotel room. So yeah, she's still waiting for Hidden Valley Ranch to like send her a love letter. She's done so much for it. But it's not so much for her. Yeah, and James is like, nice, nice, like James is completely off the rails, which I'm cracking up at. And Rickale's like, okay, I can see how you might think. Like, okay, there's Rickale, this beauty queen.

Like she wants to learn that. That's totally understandable. And all the girls are cracking up, but the whole cast is cracking up that she's calling herself a beauty queen. And Jackson's Nory in the corner, me, you just called yourself a beauty queen. I'm like, you call yourself a model, sir. Okay, she is a beauty queen. And Jackson snoring in the corner. Me? You just called yourself a beauty queen. Like you call yourself a model, sir.

Okay. She is a beauty queen. She was in like a state fair. And that's enough to qualify as a beauty queen. Um, this season she came to a party after modeling at the Tampingham mall. So yeah, last time I checked, she was walking the runway right by Claire's. So you check yourself.

Yeah, so he's like a beauty queen. Him and Kristen are laughing. Meanwhile, Kristen is switching herself off the couch. And then James goes, she is, how about yours? No, no. And then you just see him. And then you just say, yeah. And James is like, no.

And then Jackson's like, yeah, James is like, no. And Brittany just shrugs. And he goes, no, no, I don't think so. And Jackson goes, what is that finger? And he's like he's the one talking on it So now they start like talking over each other going at each other Yeah, and Rick L's like trying to like finish her beauty pageant response and she's like Well, I'm sorry. I'm gonna jump in like Jackson cuz Jackson wouldn't let him

He's like and you're gonna let him talk to my girlfriend that way You're gonna let him talk to my girl that way. You're gonna let him talk to my girl that way I'm like you were just sitting there fucking mocking you. Yeah, you literally just did that like it That's what you're not about jacks, you know, like it's like tattle talent He's like me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me you're a friend and James like because you be the hour I tell and then Brittany's like hey, just say she called herself a beauty queen that almost she say So before that though, Rical was like, she's like, I started competing in pageants because I have social anxiety.

And I'm like, I was just waiting. I was waiting for them to make fun of her because I was like, and they didn't. I'm so mad that they didn't take the bait because if they made fun of her and then was like them and they didn't I'm so mad they didn't take the bait because if they made fun of her And then they like are all sitting there like like all like tending to Lala with her social anxiety I would be like fuck you all but they actually didn't so yeah I just do get theoretical rant a theoretical rant because I thought it was wrong

Go on Rekelle try again. Yeah, Rekelle's like, um, but I can see why you might think that as a beauty queen. Like, is she just so for the same thing? Yeah. I would wanna be on this show. You're not a beauty queen, so that's Jack's interrupting again. Yeah, and Ariana's like, shut up, just shut up. And Britney's like, what are you say, shut up, just shut up, Ariana.

It's like that's not the point, Britney. See, this is where, see, at this point, now Brittany has been fully jacked. Like her brain is operating like jacks. He had, he spent the past like last season and this season, like trying to push this agenda of, we're gonna circle the wagons around ourselves and anyone who's not with us is against us, et cetera.

It's like a total like brainwashing, I'm an emotional manipulation. And now Brittany has fully accepted it and like is just Lashing out at everyone, so you think Brittany's an asshole cuz she's been brainwashed by jacks Yeah, why not no hell no that is some girl who totally sought out jacks on Instagram a total game here to get on a TV show Well, no, but I'm what I'm saying, is that like when she was mad at Jacks, he kept on doing this thing like, if you have an issue, you have to talk to me.

Like don't involve other people, don't involve other people. And it became this thing where like, she, Brittany stopped becoming Brittany, Brittany became part of Brittany and Jacks, which is like a total control technique. Right, that's what she was saying. Sorry, I'm gonna understood you. And your point is that she's also learning to fight like Jacks, which is like a total control technique. Right. That's what I'm going to send her to you. And your point is that she's also learning to fight like Jacks, which is something just to

check. Yeah. Okay. I see what you're saying. I got confused. I mean, the psychology of an appropriate guy is deep. Yeah. He is fully like.

Why didn't you say shut up to Jack, Ariana? And she's like, I'm just trying to listen to what Raquel is saying. It takes her a long time okay It's we're gonna be here all day if you keep interrupting She's practicing this line for three months okay James instead of just being grateful that someone's sticking up for him He's like You've got to know by Ariana yeah and then bring you like are you a friend of ours or not and Tom's like dude he was just he was saying something about Raquel why she was trying to tell her while she was trying to

tell her story that's it and then Brittany's like you're supposed to be our best friend it's like that has nothing to do with anything like Brittany you are Brittany is really, you know, usually the bitch flower blooms in season two. We've seen it happen on almost every Bravo show ever. Unfortunately, Britney's made up of inorganic things like cool rancher Doritos, taco shells from Taco Bell. So hers took a little bit longer to bloom, but we know it bloom. It's like the corpse flower. It just takes a few years and finally it blooms and smells terrible. So then, Raquel, I mean, I think like Raquel is like, she's like the corpse flower. It just takes a few years and finally it blooms and smells terrible. So then Raquel, I mean, I think Raquel is like, she is cracking me up with this like,

these lines that she has clearly prepared and she's like, it's situations like these where I'm vulnerable that push me to make me into a better person. I'm like, it's all about Rick L. I'm Kristen shaking her head and she mouths this tossy. What you've been talking about and they start laughing. Which is kind of funny because they all totally accept it when Jack says that he made Brittany a better person by cheating on her. Right.

The logic here is insane. So then the next question is, well, but I hope that she slept with James for three years and Lala confirmed it. So what proof would be enough for you, Raquel, that I had a baby. And Raquel's like, um, Lala, what's it there when all this supposedly happened? So I don't know how she knows anything. And Britain and bring his life well Well, I saw her saw it's all James sucking on a girl's teeth sucking a girl's teeth

Why you were dating a club and she's like a lot of us in Canada Oh, I was not believing in until I wrote the Canada twist and then he goes I had never heard this sucking on the boob in Canada Story is it because I was too busy with my newborn child? Because I'm a baby. Yeah. And Stoss is like, I mean, does not say something. I can't imagine being in a relationship AF where so many people have come forward and said to your face he's cheating and without even looking into it, you ignore it.

Okay, I will take that from Stossie because she will cut off your nuts a few cheat on here yeah but wasn't she with uh didn't Patrick like send moods didn't she find out Patrick was sending like nude pics to people I mean I don't know what I think she has more of a ledge to stand on because at least she got rid of jacks and you know she needs moving on from these losers and doesn't just stay with them but I don't know still a little iffy there. Yeah well James the thing is this what Stasi failed her logic is like you know if basically whether smoke there's fire if like people keep coming with these accusations like I wouldn't be able to stand for it but what Stasi failed in her logic she had a huge blind spot which is that people that just try and take James Kennedy down

Just try and take games Kennedy down like saucy. Why didn't you realize that? I'm gonna say that every time like my Starbucks takes too long to come to me like Anytime my mother accuses me of not calling enough, you're trying to take James Kennedy down that's all. And Lala's like, you're the store. And Lala's like, um, I don't want to take you down. He's like, oh, your friends do. You mind up, oh, your friends do.

So stop saying that. Stop saying it. Oh, your friends do. And of course, like, James, but meanwhile, Kristen, 20 minutes 20 minutes earlier was like yeah, I'm on like year three of trying it We've made some really great head-wanting James down so yeah And James is like shut up la la RC pit coming out your mouth So there's poop coming out you're shitting on the table with your mouth You're shitting on the table with your mouth. BOOM!

I mean, this is like, this is what these people have the internet sticking up for. Fucking James. I mean, this is how far you guys have fallen. Yeah. So then it's like, Ariana, what do you think? And she's like, well, sketch comedy, there's like, there's several different schools of thoughts. No, Ariana, not about sketch comedy about James.

Okay. Well, technically when they moved in together, I'm already bored by this, but when they moved in together, they said they were gonna press the reset button or some bullshit like that, so they did press the reset button. I only like really count like fidelity, like from then to now, so as long as it's been faithful now, it's like cool, I guess, I don't know, I'm bored. And Lala's like, oh, so he just gets a pass for everything. and that James wasn't faithful to when you what is it you believe that James was faithful or not

Raquel and she's like um I think that James wasn't completely faithful before we moved in and everyone's like okay like there we go but now he's very religious no not like that he's like you're literally doing Jackson storyline this is the same thing you know he's like, you're literally doing Jackson's storyline. This is the same thing, you know? He's like, well, that sounds exactly like Jackson. And Katie's like, yeah, you know what, Rick, hell, whatever, just do whatever you want, but it's gonna eat it you, knowing that he's a cheater. It's just gonna eat it you every day.

I'm like, you would fucking know. Didn't your boyfriend just get lost in Mexico all my and nobody asked any questions last season. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So does Santa Vall think that James behavior is acceptable? He's like, dude, hell no, not at all. In the case, like, but he'll accept a lot more of it. Hmm. He deserves a lot more than being just fired from Sir, which I guess is her valed way of saying he should be fired from the TV show, right? Yeah, or thrown in prison because they're all, they all keep alluding in interviews that James has done some horrible thing that no one can talk about.

Well, if he did do something horrible that, then that deserves prison time, then sure, but like, remember when Jack told us in the South by Southwest thing, like, oh, he's done some bad things I can't even talk about. That's what they keep spreading around. So they're all hinting that he's done some awful things. People say the same thing about Jack's, oh, he's done some bad things I can't even talk about. That's what they keep spreading around. So they're all hinting that he's done something. People say the same thing about Jack's, too, by the way. People said, I've heard some really, really vicious rumors about Jack Taylor.

So yeah. So then Tom is just like giving Katie that squint kind of side eye for he's like, well, so then we come back and Andy's like, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, oh, well, oh, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, well, oh, oh, well, oh, oh, well, oh, well, oh, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well, oh, oh, he does van oprop rules because he just lets this shady side out because he's like not afraid like with the housewives he's afraid of them some of them. Yeah, he's definitely better on non-housewives shows. Because you're getting better after say he's getting credit where credit is due. He's even getting better on housewives shows. Yeah, but this is just hilarious.

Like you're one of the few people out here with a college degree. It's like it's just like such a subtle shade to everyone else on the cast. It's amazing. And Rickel's like, it is. I'm going to get my master's degree to help children with learning disabilities or whatever she said. And which is nice. And by the way, Rickel has not yelled.

She's not lost her temper. She hasn't said anything mean to anybody. She's taking every question like a champ, you know, she's taking Q. 100% 100% So She's like a champ.

He's so stupid. So And he's like, Stasi, do you think that Raquel is smart? And Stasi's like, I don't know her. Okay, full on Mariah Carey. She totally, she totally Mariahed her. She's like, I don't even know her.

I don't like sorry I don't know who she is. I I have a lot of feathers in my face right now. Rick Kells like I wish I mean I'd love to get to know you stasi You miss a great Paul party You want to come to my next puppy party and stasi's like please like please let me out of this like I can't like Why are you doing this to me? I have to go in. And all the girls are just cracking up and they can't help themselves.

And that's why Raquel is winning this whole reunion. Because even the people trying to just shit on her over and over again, or having to like like her, you know? Like they're laughing at her because she's so good-natured. So, I have to point out, and I'm sorry that I keep talking Ben, but I have to point out that this is basically the Britney storyline.

This old Jacks and Britney template is now the James and Recal template. Right. Britney is obviously some girl who's using Jacks to come on the show. She finds out where Jacks goes, you know, she gets her plan. She wins and everybody for three years has been like, Britney is the sweetest thing. She would never do anything to anybody. And now when we finally see Brittany turning into the trash box that she is. Now here comes the new class.

James is doing everything that Jack's did cheating and lying about it, compulsively lying, losing his temper, being a complete narcissist. He's with a girl who's obviously using him to be on the show. Well, but also a fixer right like it's so poetic Right, and you know, it's like but both like Brittany and Raquel are like girls who want to fix these broken men Because it's trying to fill a void from whatever their fathers did What you know, it's like the classics like like daddy issue thing, you know So it is funny that they're also mad that they all are so annoyed at Raquel when just like two years ago

They were furious at Brittany, you know for standing by. They never like mad at Brittany But they but they they you know they were like, why how could you stand by someone like jacks, you know? Oh, yeah, they tried to break Brittany and jacks up of course, you know Yeah, we don't need to go to the hall. So yeah, so now So now Andy starts questioning Lala's feminism and Wondering why Lala doesn't really support Raquel and Lala's like just because you have a vagina doesn't mean I'm going to support you, you know and Basically what it what it winds what it comes down to is that there was like a group dinner in Vegas

that it was Lala was there and Raquel and James and Lala's father was there when he was alive. And apparently James called Lala a cut fitness right in front of the father and the dad just like walked away because he was so mad. And then Lala was furious that Raquel didn't like, like, reprimand James about that. You wouldn't step up to the plate for a female, which is totally different as when Lala and James were going off on all the witches of WeHo at that party

and talked about summer bodies, fat-shamed people, and, you know, et cetera, et cetera. Lala, yeah, that was just different. And also like, you're so mad at Raquel. I mean, I'm not, you know, I don't want to bring up a sort of subject for her, but like, what, your dad walked away, like, like, I feel like in that situation it should be your dad

who should have just like laid into James, you know? I don't know, I'm not kidding. I don't know the answer to that one really. I just think that Lala is coming up. I think that, and everybody has legit reasons to hate James. I mean, James is a total monster pig face, okay? But they're all that way. And so it seems like they come up with convenient narratives

every time they need them. And this sounds just so Lala to be like, that it was my dad that he was offensive in front of my dad. It's like, every time it gets mad at Ricardo. Yeah, every time it gets dirty, here we go. You know, it's the same thing. So then Stasi's like, you know, it's just hard to connect with you

because you're totally okay with what James has done and how he's treated every single one of us. You're all friends with Jacks. You're all kissing ass to go to Jacks' wedding. But I know it's different because he's changed. Yeah, Rekel is like, who did it make you happy if I publicly embarrassed him?? Everyone's like, yes, yes, we would love that. We would love that. She's like, well, I tried with this dress. Well, okay, I guess it's a step.

So the next question is a lot like I gave you a totally intense zero apology at the skating party, which is something you only hear on shows like this. And she's like, I have yet to hear some zero apology. And I don't know. She's even capable of that. Andy and Lala's like, you know what, Andy, it's just hard for me to care about what I said. But I don't care about the person. So be which, meanwhile, if Katie had responded to that, if Katie had said that when Katie had

apologized to Lala any number of times before this season, then Lala would have been furious. You know? So, I don't know. But then, so then, that was for a Lala, that was a different person. Yeah, that's true. So, it's for Klaus, like, learn some basic manners, which is funny, because that's why I think they all have basic manners.

And then, but when she said learn some manners, they all lose their shit jacksick Wait a second. I mean Chris is like is this really happening? Quick all quick all quick all fair post-so Really use the name to James Kennedy and you're talking about manners seriously seriously I don't think I need help from her on the manners situation and James goes oh whatever coming from the guy who shit's with the door open and And Jackson's and I still do so wait, you're gonna like Mitt you're going to like Be angry that James has bad manners, but then probably talk about

Deficating with the door open. Yeah, I mean, Britney's like hi wearing gay eyes And James is like honey you want some pancakes sure I'm taking a shit with the door open. Let's make some chocolate shit pancakes, huh? Oh my god. So then, so then it starts getting over to like, it moves over to Raquel and how she had that conversation with that girl named Alexis and how she basically said that Lala was like

dad blaming I guess that what they said you know playing the dad card etc. it's not to have a conversation or whatever and you know this like this gets into a whole thing you know about like Raquel basically saying it was Lala's excuse not to talk to her but of course Lala's like so the death of my dad she's she isn't is an excuse and then Lala's excuse not to talk to her, but of course Lala's like so the death of my dad she's you is an excuse And then Lala's like well, you know when you lose a parent like I'm sorry I'm sorry for your loss, but you were using it as an excuse to not Talk to me, you know, and then Lala just loses her mind Yeah, and she's like oh so this is my dad is an excuse. Let me explain something to you honey

Let me explain something to you honey. Let me explain. I pay every day That got la la la she starts going on some big thing about how when she's she's grieving She hopes that she has somebody that she hopes that she's surrounded by people who let her do whatever the fuck she wants to do And that's just how it is when you're and no one cheapens it with an is by saying that she what she's doing is an excuse for whatever blah blah blah blah So Lisa's like yeah, but it doesn't give you an excuse to lash out and Lala's like but she was talking about my my dad who died who it died It's like so she so she's doing using it. She's doubling down. Yeah, but Raquel the way that Raquel was phrasing everything was very smart She's got Lala spitting venom right in her face, you know, and trying to dance out of it with the dad card Which Lala is fucking using again. Sorry, sorry, but she is

Everkills like um, you weren't taking responsibility for your actions And you were mentioning it to Brit and everyone that you weren't in your right mind because of your anger But you weren't saying that to me who's the one who's suffering from your actions. I was like, hmm, who is this person? I know, but she's right. She's right. We don't take away the grief that Lala's going through and like, my heart breaks for her.

My heart even breaks for a jacks for anyone who loses their parent or a love on, you know? But she's literally, Lala was literally saying, I'm acting out like this because I'm so upset with my father, which is understandable. Totally. But she wouldn't just say that, Lala was literally saying, I'm acting out like this because I'm so upset with my father, which is understandable. Totally. But she wouldn't just say that to Lala

and get for an apology. It's a recall, yeah. A recall and get for an apology, you know? And then her point is like, why the fuck would I apologize to you? I hate you. Yeah, exactly. So, but then, I mean,

because basically she's lashing out a recall because she hates Raquel. And so that's why, yeah. But the fact that she's saying that she's lashing out Raquel because she hates Raquel. And so that's why... That's it. Yeah, but the fact that she's saying that she's lashing out because Raquel was talking about her dad, then it's like, oh, so actually you are using it. It's like the logic it's all warped and it's like really annoying because I don't want to come off as someone who's insensitive to someone losing their parent, but... No, but it's also very sensitive to someone being hypocrite on reality TV and addressing. Yeah, it's at the point it's at the point where they're just obviously at this point using it, you know, it's like because it's

like every two seconds that they're using it like this next jack section is ridiculous so yeah. So first it starts with Tom because Lala's like well I lost out because you were talking about my dad so that so there and she's just like I done. I'm done I'm done doing that thing and Tom goes but she didn't and she goes She says that in her interviews dude, okay? Like she drops the dad boom. She drops the dad card boom board board to you Tom But Boy not gonna talk anymore, but with you and Tom's like no and then she's waving around her weed vape and Tom's like look I understand what you're going through and she's like you don't know what I'm going through and he's like don't tell me what is my favorite Tom when he like leaves

Yeah, he loses mind He's like you just can't he bases like you just can't yell at everyone just to get over someone. And Jack says, if that's what you need to do, then yeah, if you need to punch someone, yeah, if you need to cheer on your girlfriend, then yeah, that's what you need to do. Yeah, pretty much. And LVP is like, well, I don't think Reef is an excuse to lash out.

And then the question is, so, Rekel, how's your relationship with James now? And she goes, we're doing great, Andy. We're raising our child's gram And Vanderpom's like, but do we hold him accountable and I mean I try to I mean numbers aren't always his strong point But like he keeps his receipts. No not an accounting accountable He keeps his receipts. No, not in accounting. I count to bull.

Well, I might supposed to say, I mean, I'm just trying to help him and see where his behavior is wrong instead of going bad, James. Bad, bad, boo boo outside, James. And everyone's like, haha. Yeah. I just try to hear him out and try to approach the situation differently. Like, Rick Hell, can you turn around? You walked over to the wall by accident.

Oh, sorry. I'm just trying to find telling what he does wrong so he can fix it. And Jackson goes, yeah, that'll help with teaching kids. Oh my god. Gross. And also, the other parallel here is that Brittany originally said that she was going to help special needs

children. Do you remember that? She came to LA to wait tables and then be a special needs teacher. That's right. I forgot. So, Jackson's over there being snide. So, Andy's like, okay, for Kel, held up pretty well. I mean, Tafada. Wow, who knew? I was so mad that Andy sent Requel off before asking her about the ice cream club and Winnie the Pooh. I was like, Andy, you have to ask these questions. Okay, you can't leave us hanging like this.

I wanna hear how Vickale's doing with the multiplication tables. Well, she pretty much nailed this. And it was funny, because she just got up and walked off instead of waiting for the cameras to go to commercial. Yeah. And she got a pause, everyone applauded her.

They're like, wow, you know, you do that. That's pretty really. She really sold the show. She sold the show. I was proud of Little Rikowl. You go girl. Considering it was the same night as the Met Gala and the theme was camp, she was like, you know what? I'm going to one up all those motherfuckers. I'm going to wear ruffles to the reunion and I'm going to be dough wide and and sweet and you know she won her hearts over and if there is a giant pipe I'm gonna stand in the middle of it and do this until it's clean Every wine glass clean So the next segment is Lisa's brother died and she starts crying and she's like I held it together during filming But it was difficult and I don't want to bring you down. I want that to impress it and it's very it's actually very sad

It is very sad, but it gives me about it But he gives Andy a chance to do his second favorite thing to say his first favorite thing is a Lot to unpack and a second favorite thing is still a raw So we got to do the second he got to do the raw and she's like and she was like I don't know for everybody all the time She you say that but I do I'll be back and so she leaves and then she leaves crying and then Then Jack and basically like okay, Lala you're turned to cry. It's the crying segment everybody Yeah, I didn't get it prepared to cry. Yeah, they're all, so Lala talks about the death of her dad, which is very sad.

And then Jack talks about how his father's death really destroyed his family because his mom took away the dad's phone and they just had no idea, et cetera, et cetera. They had no idea what stage he was in, even though he was in many articles last year around September saying that his father was in stage for cancer and

it spread all over his body. So really, I didn't know. This is a really sensitive thing and I don't want to go too crazy on it because it's fucking sad. I haven't lost my dad and I really don't know what that's like. But Jack's is Jack's. Wow, I did not realize that. But one thing that did not help was that James tweeted something along the lines of lines of luck. Okay, James. Oh, okay, jox your dad died

You have to get over it make peace with it move on simple you Lala. Mike James. I've been on your side And he's like the thing that's so frustrating Don't you can't be on James aside. He's just such a prick. My god. He is, I mean, he really is. And even if you can see where his work comes from, and even if you can see the little wounded boy inside there, no, he's a prick. He's a prick. He's just adorable, my god.

Yeah, it was wrong. It was wrong, you know. But then he goes, what did you have a maker, Twitter, oh, Pat, Raquel, because I think you did. Yeah, so you made a Twitter saying, you know, your boyfriend sleeps with men in all these homophobic tweets. And so he's pulling the homophobia card on Jack's rightfully so.

But you know, he's learned how to fight Vanderpump rule styles. Like it doesn't excuse what you did you ask. You made, like yeah, you made fun of someone who's grieving about their father. Like even we try not to do that too much. So I'm a horrible human being. Even I'm making it up for the air. Yeah, we're trying to be as sensitive as we possibly can, you know.

But then, you know, so, but the best part though is, because James' tactic actually works, because he's like, you know, homophobic tweets. And then Jack's like, no, I don't, I don't, no, I don't think I did that. I don't, I don't even know what a Twitter is. Like, what is that? And Aaron is like, Jack's, your number was connected to the Twitter account. You included a selfie of your penis, okay, Jack's.

Yeah, stupid Jack's, put his phone number on his Twitter. So Jack said in Instagram or a tweet or something that someone must have taken his number from the back of Sir, like the employee call sheet or whatever and use that to sign up but unfortunately you have to verify your phone when you sign up with your phone number, Jax. Also, unfortunately you also have to have the motivation to want to go to the back of Sir find your phone number and put out a fake tweet about James and having like homophobic

undertones to it and I don't think anyone actually really cares enough about that. Yeah, to make those, those take those steps. So Jack's has totally been caught now. So he stamps up and he starts going, you want to talk about my dad? You want to, which no one's talking about is fucking idiot. So he goes and ate silver to James and Andy's like, okay, he's like barely pushing jacks, because it's like, it's like a shot bitch.

Yeah, you know, you can say, shut up bitch, which is, I don't know. So yeah, so they're like, yeah, out of their chairs and Andy Cohen's like trying to get in the middle, it's like, trying to be the referee for a second. So then he gets jacks to sit down and down and Jackson's like your girlfriend is useless. She's a useless little bitch, which you know I mean let's not get mad at you. Charmets for talking to a woman like that.

Yeah. Okay everybody let's not do it. Yeah. Charmets and James is like look at your girlfriend. Look at her. She is. I think I look pretty good because you look like a disco ball. A disco ball, wow, wow! Isn't that what the guys dance under?

And she was like, oh my god, don't say anything about Brett, mate. And he's like, gotta have your babies in Kentucky. You put it all in there with those tail billies. Which is so rude, but like so funny in that moment in the context of this reunion. Oh my god, Jack's like And then just straight out of uh straight out of Jackson's play, but you talk about my family one more time But you talk about my family one more time And

Then James is like pointing and laughing is like who really got some peach coblah I think I will hey that's rude and he goes you make a fake Twitter to make come a Fubic comments and I get fired for one comment and they're like no no No, I did too for once in his life stands up and he's like That was the straw that broke the camel's back. That was a straw that broke the camel's back And I said oh shut up swelves. He got right me a poem about that Okay That's a nice little okey. That's a nice little okey.

Oh. Lala jumps in. She's like, what we're not going to do? What we're not going to do right now is make a conversation about a tweet about my dad and making about Rachelegan. That's what we're not going to do. And she's like, oh, I said I'm sorry for that. And Jackson's like, look at you.

He's like, I don't care what you think. Oh, man. God, God your hip-billy babies And like I mean there was actually Basically there was like a million things happening all at once and I was watching this like really like up to the minute that we started this Live stream so I started to have to like write down these things very quickly So but somewhere in them and then you know Tom sandivall is trying to, he's trying to like, be like, dude, guys, you guys are the ones who started, he's basically trying to say that, and they're like, seriously Tom, seriously, stop defending him, Cocoa, Cocoa, anti-mariposa, anti-mariposa.

Yeah, he's like, you're calling his girlfriend, Dom, and she goes, she is Dom! I'm talking to him, every time he says anything you attack him she goes oh what do I call call and then James is like it's because you're obsessed with me. You don't bitch. Why are you so obsessed with me? Second Ryan reference of the episode. And then Brittany starts talking and he's like oh shut up. You're you're in shambles jacks. He a feminist broken up which of course is like there he goes again Yeah, and then jacks is like oh, yeah, you watch talk about your mother. I'd have my way with her I would fuck her all night long. In fact, I just did yesterday. It was great. I'm sorry, Brittany

I didn't really mean it that this okay. It's okay, Dyax. I know you're changing Oh, so here comes jacks like attacking someone's parents, which is no about huge no no guys So then Jack's like you're on what you're so unwanted it's unbelievable. You can't even talk So then he starts making fun of his accent. I mean this show is the most immature piece of shit show that I've loved in a long time I know and James like I don't care I don't give a fuck about you bitch bitch So then Santaval he's like Santaval's again trying to like rain at all in and he's like listen, dude Jack talks shit about his girlfriend, so then James talk shit about Jackson's girlfriend and pretty like

I was talking about my family Goddy called you at hillbilly give me a break. Yeah Oh god he called you at hillbilly give me a break. Yeah, she's saying he's on my family I'm on family and Katie's like you sound dumb right now Tom like he's sound dumb Which is like total Katie argument level. It's like a little Katie argument about your dumb Yeah, and so Jackson's like oh, yeah, all you do is talk shit about me James and Tom's like, I am embarrassed. And Britney's like, Tom, you're his best man. Stop.

Yeah. Stop it, Tom. You have to stop that rat, Nile. Yeah, you get to, you want to go to that mess, Potato Bart, you better watch it. And Britney's face just turning so like... Pete's sport. You know what I mean? Just like,

and the fact that she's, and you could see that she's, yeah. Like, like, she is like, being like, we've given you this on. Did she say best man or best friend? It's hard to tell sometimes. Best man. Cause Thomas supposed to be the best man

and that's what I'm saying. And she says it like, he is my best man now. Tom number two. Yeah, like we give him just, we're gonna take it away. Like, brides, though, I mean, like, and here's the thing, Tom is not being anti-jacks. What he's doing is being like,

you know what, you guys have to realize, you guys keep poking at him and like, he's a prick and he's gonna like come back and say some nasty shit, which does not excuse James doing that, but Brittany and Jacks are acting like they are totally innocent and they're not provoking a situation and they're not saying shady shitty things. And I think that's what's frustrating.

Well, it was great seeing Monster Brittany come out from under the bed. I've been waiting to see that face, that face like someone who just got pulled over at a 7-11 on cops you know I just love it like one leg of pantyhose and one leg you know nothing I just I've been waiting for that and so you finally came to play so work for me and then a climax is Andy just going with his little card Guys shot the fuck up

And then the curtain comes down It was so good. I love this episode. It was it's like it also reminds us that this show has a lot of life left in it if if If done properly. They need to get rid of at least four people on this show I think I mean, I don't think there's any coming back from this especially if they're like we're not gonna work at the restaurant It seems like they've all wanted to make their own spin-off shows about like adulting But nobody wants to watch Katie fold laundry. Sorry, so she can be there, you know, coming in and eating a salad or whatever. Yeah, they're gonna need to change this up. I hope they are.

They've gotta start shooting soon, right? But they just, they need to keep the focus on the restaurant and they have to keep the focus on like, mean girls, icing some another girl out at the restaurant. And it's not fun when the entire cast is at one person, but what you need is you need the factions, you need to have Queen Bee's and stuff, and we need like,

yeah, and they all have houses now, so it's just, it's in a weird place. I don't know, I'm guessing. But Mander sure making it up with this reunion, it was very good. So well done, Vanderprenner rules. We'll be very happy. We'll be very happy. making it up with this reunion. It was very good. So well done Vanderprenner rules We'll be all shitty people. Thank you so much. We really enjoyed that. Thank you You're a wonderful will actually be back tomorrow with another video recap

We're not gonna record that one live But it will still be a video recap available in the morning for real house west of Beverly Hills So you guys can find that will also be back the following day with Summer House as usual. And go get your tickets for Irvine next week. It's going to be a super fun show, go get your t-shirts, etc., etc. We sure love you guys and we will talk to you later. Bye! you Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.