Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: What Would Mandela Do?

Episode Date: April 11, 2018

Will Jax follow in the path of Nelson Mandela? Or will his Reiki progress succumb to the world around him? Such are the questions that plague this week's "Vanderpump Rules." Join us for a recap of all these important issues. Plus, important Taco Bell news. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardity, dowity! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird! Jessayon, okay! Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master, give, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap,. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that

we just love to watch and talk about and enjoy and hug, etc, etc. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSABlog.com and the Banta Blender podcast. Joining me on this joyful, wonderful Tuesday is the one and only Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. And also the RosePrix Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Oh hello, Benjus. How are you doing today?

So good. We had a triple date with that guy. What is Ron Pelegrino? Yeah, I lost an email, so. I'm looking through that. Yeah, that guy. Danny Peellegrino, love that guy. It was such a nice friend date. Oh my God, we had so much fun.

Ronnie and I went over to Danny. Pellegrino is recording studio as it were. And we talked with him on his podcast, everything iconic. So if you want to hear more of us and you want to hear more of Danny, go check out his podcast, Everything iconic, which is everywhere. The best part is that there's also an interview with Kelly Benzmone and Joel's Weinstein.

So you know, all of the junkies go and get involved because we had so much fun. And we're going to continue to have fun all this week leading up to Sunday. Sunday is our big show at the Irvine improv where we will be recapping a classic episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. It's the naked wasted dinner party from I think season three, right? Or is it season four? I don't remember. You can look it up. Nick had wasted. I'll know on Saturday morning. Yeah, exactly. It's called Google everyone. And so if you were new to this podcast, because you just found out about us through Dan, through Dan's podcast, welcome. We're having a show this Sunday, Irvine,

and we're very excited to announce that we have a very special guest for the podcast. Taco Bell. Oh, hell yeah, Taco Bell is going to be coming over there. So we're going to be covening around there and like doing some spells, doing some Dorito Shell spells. Yeah, no, they are bringing their taco truck and the tacos will be available after the show is over and they're going to have some gift cards and they're going to have some swag and it's just going to be super awesome. So if nothing else come for the Tacos.

Yes, you can hate us all you need to but don't ever hate a Taco. Okay, don't hate a Taco. It's not nice. So go to watch our crappens.com to buy your tickets. And I'm so excited. I love these live shows and we're doing so many of them and it'll be great to reconnect with our Southern California audience, although as far as I'm aware, I think there's going to be a contingent from North Cal coming down. So.

Oh hell yeah, little crappens babies from the North Bay area, whatever you call it. Yeah, Bay area. North Bay. North Bay. Bay area. City you call it. Yeah, Bay Area, the Bay Area, Bay Area, city by the same other Bay. They both that city on rock and roll, you know, setting my back. You know, had some wonderful moments in this

Vanderfomps rules. Did you notice when she when Katie she goes, Katie are you off and Katie said, yeah, and she goes, me too speaking of me too before we jump into it I have to circle back onto something hilarious that's happening with Kim Zolciak Kim Zolciak beer man I think we mentioned it was on the bonus episode or on yesterday's lantern recap how Kim Zolciak commented on Marlon Wayans Instagram,

playing the victim because he basically shamed her for looking like she was in white girls, white chicks, part two. So she was like, I've always been a fan, but that was really hurtful. Oh well, I guess you're going for a laugh. And then Kroy chimed in and was like, yeah, real cool, grown man, making front of a lady's face and Apparently TMZ tracked down Kim Zosiac and I was like, so what are your thoughts on Marlon Way and it's just like Yeah, it doesn't seem right that like in this me too moment that a man would be making front of a woman's looks It's like no Kim. No, you don't get to claim claim. Oh for Christ say your lips. Yes. Yes blow up dolls unite You're a break. Oh

My God. It's just it's so hilarious and then TMZ found Marlon Wayans and they're like so what do you think? He's like I'm doing God's work, so It's just a hilarious hilarious feud that's happening but No Kim you don't get to you don't get to do that, okay? You did this to yourself and you have a long history of being a nasty, nasty person to people and then you play the victim. It just doesn't work.

You know, eventually someone is going to clock you and you've been clocked. Yes, you've been clocked. Not even that bad and not even that bad, to be honest. Yeah, I don't think it was that bad. I mean, her lips really, the picture that he posted that, I was like, damn, and then they posted another one today. And they're like, look, it's us shooting range. And we're Brielle's lips.

I was like, what a sheet of target. I think she's like, they should say. She looked like a duck on the wall that they're shooting, like here's the rubber duckie. like don't let your daughter in that situation, you know, please give her a yellow jacket. It's aware. Yes. I feel like they should just lie to people.

I know what jackets are when you shoot. Okay, that's right. I've been in a forest. I feel like they should just like, anytime there's going to be like a jumper, they just lie both Brielle and Kim down on the ground ground like have them face up and just have people just jump right onto those lips saves the day every time Yes, it's like the Alexis Belino jumping park. Yeah, trampoline. Yeah, the trampoline park Zolciak lips God, well if anybody's feeling unsafe in this world. Just no, Briel has a gun now. So, oh, that's good.

Oh, yeah. That's really good. But, um, on to more, on to, on to lighter fare. Let's talk about banter pump rules from last night because the season is just a season that won't stop giving us great episodes. I mean, just when you think it can't get any better, Jack finally loses his mind. Yeah. At long last. If you're going to start

tonight with Pasta, you need to keep that shit going all night or look what happens. Okay. Yeah. Be prepared. Meet her out your pasta. Yeah. They need some Strega known as shit up in here. It just never ends. Pasta coming out of a cauldron. Yes. Well, we're speaking of safety. Let me help you all. Keep a steady stream. Okay. Where you're going to do it, Jacks did. I mean, who wants a violent animal playing hockey or doing stuff for hockey teams? So the episode begins where the last one left off. We're still applying the El Carmen and we're still at dinner and we're at a catch. I'm a catch. I'm such a catch.

Sorry. So the waiters and the waitresses at sorry, you may have heard the rumors that were catches. It's true. Sorry. Yeah. Like the thing about it is that I know I'm a catch. So like among fish. So I can't believe I didn't notice that they were at catch when she's always saying,'m good I'm such a catch such a fuck like that. I'm such a classic Kristen line. Yeah, yeah So we open and I was hoping it was gonna be a billy-bealy episode because she's like okay Here's what's happening Lisa Vanderpump, but then we didn't and it was that but yeah We're in catch and then we're at the part where in the middle of the fight from last week where James is like Kristen shut up. You're an attempt to seek a Christian.

She's like, fuck you. And she throws a drink on James and Lala is the one who's like, you just got drink all over my stripe dress. Okay, vertical stripes plus water spots doesn't work. Okay, bitch, not gangster. Yeah, I was hoping that this would make Lala just stop with her shoulder obsession, but it didn't. Yeah. So James is like, what fucking trash, you pathetic stupid whore.

Stupid whore. She's a ratchet, it's fucking whore, whore. Yeah, ratchet, stupid whore, whore, whore, stupid whore, face full. And Tom's like dude stop bro stop look no did I already say ratchet ratchet ratchet ratchet and clank ratchet and clank that's what you are you like a video game or a little fox chimagot a robot that's what you are christian a video game to the left to the left put your belongings to the left christian and then christian's just standing there with her

Her Kristen face. This is her face. But she's just going sorry to Lala. Sorry. Lala's like Kristen and she's like, sorry Sorry, she's older And Mama's like that's so fucking ganna. Okay, it's ganna. At which point my boyfriend was like, please never say ganna. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Of course. Lala. Yeah. So then, uh, Stasi, so then Stasi tries to calm down Lala and and Stasi's like, listen, I understand you have liquid all over you, a and law is like hit throws a drink and then like Stasi is like well who also makes up and tells an entire group of people that they had sex or hooked up I'm like are you guys having a conversation does this any of this making sense?

No, but it was really fun to watch. I love how serious Stasi got you say um Listen, I know you have liquid all over you. Just how everything starts in the ER. Listen. Lala, I know you don't want to hear this, but the best way to get the liquid out is actually with more liquid. No, stassy.

You need a club soda. No, no, I don't go to that club. Okay, I don't need a club. I'm Lala. The only club I go to at the club for my pee, which takes the D like a pro. I am a shoulder pirate. This is ghetto.

This is pirate ghetto. This is ghetto and I'm gangster bitch in this ghetto, gangster bitch ghetto ghetto. She's like, I thought catch would be cool. And then here we are and it's cool, because I just got a drink on my pirate shoulder outfit. It's not so, like, like, Sassy's staying so calm and it really bothers me.

But I like that she's like, she's matured and she's like, okay, I guess I have to be friends with this slut because you know what, frequent flyer myols are a pain in the ass. And if I had a friend with a plane, I would probably be nice to. Sassy's just in a very happy place, because she knows this is the perfect excuse to go back to the hotel room and order pizza with ranch sauce on it. She's like, oh good, I'm in the excuse.

So then, yeah, so Lala is like, I came to catch to get me a call. And then she keeps doing this thing like, I'm the only one who has his back. I'm the only one who has his back. I'm the only one who has his back up in his position. Like, is this supposed to impress us? I mean, this guy was yelling at you, berating you in Big Bear, and now you have his back. I actually, I feel like it's not really nuts. It's, I don't think you should have his back. Yeah, she's like secret service in her mind. It's like you're protecting the wrong person. Okay. So James, of course, is, I don't know what's happening with James if they changed his meds. I've said this for weeks in a row.

Men, of course, men cry, okay? Cry, men, I cry. I'll cry at a commercial. Don't cry every five minutes, okay? Yeah. Get it together. When you're crying this much, just change your drugs. Okay, change your meds.

Go to your doctor and get your meds changed. Yeah. So he's like, Brick-al, you won't believe, but Christad did to me. Ginger meds go to your doctor and get your meds changed. Yeah, so he's like You won't believe but Chris that did to me And then the whole table and I thought they were my pros They were my pros before my house. I never said babe. I never said I don't know what to do right now babe I don't a girl And then I was like is he just talking to a deadline? No, it's just Raquel.

All you hear is, Ooh, I like it. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S How am I supposed to know my sleep number? Blink, blink, blink, blink. So Tom's like, well, what do you want to phone with, Mikal? And he's like, yeah, that's not fair, like, it's bra. And Tom's like, get off the phone. You can cry to her later, OK? And he's like, he goes, look, dude, here's the thing, OK? You and Kristen were alone for like a decent amount of time.

He's like, whoa, that doesn't mean a bun to bra. He's like, well, I'll't mean a bun to brow. He's like, well, I'll then what's the other explanation? I love in this group, the only explanation for hanging out until the middle of the night is that you fucked. Yeah, exactly. Do you know how many diseases I would have if that were true? Yeah. I would be a walking fucking scab.

Well, don't overlook the oddly arranged pillows because that was really the smoking gun here, the smoking pillow, the oddly arranged pillows by the by the hot tub So James I wait until these people see an L couch. They're just gonna freak out Yeah, James is getting just more and more British. He's like I Huck up with Chris there. I'd help up with her not at all not at all Here's what I've been brought With their were bikes bikes on the beach and don't want it to take a bike

So we say take a bike and we went into the beach on your bike. No, no, not on your bike Right, please say it wasn't on the bike Right and then we went into the hot tub for a second and it was just me it was just me oh my god You're just stop talking because you're making me believe that you fuck her now Yeah, and now he's like it's another case of bullion. It's not a case of bullion. He bullion Bullion Now he's like, it's another case of bullying. It's not a case of bullying. You bullying me. Bullying, bullying, bullying. Oh, I love that Tom's in a TV movie from the 80s. He's like, dude, are there other things you might have

did that you don't remember? Did you black it out? Draw a picture on this piece of paper and then tell me what it is. Okay, just some squiggle lines. A bird, you fucker. You fucked your bro, you did it bro, you did it bro. You did it bro, you did it bro.

He's like, we did get into town and we found a fortune teller I mean like what what's happening here? What's going on with the future and he's like do you all look in my bowl And I'll do the ball he did a big old dance and he danced up and down and next thing I knew I was a frog I'm like, I think you're trying to get the princess in the frog Before good and tiana I used to go my air with a fork and then before you know I watch up on the set and I have legs. I haven't been able to talk ever since.

I haven't been able to talk ever since. I'm gonna remix that. See you next Tuesday. Down Neptune's shack. Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I dare to see oh she's like her own backup Kiss the girl Let's all let's all how I love let's all I love when chef Joe cuts and serves little to us on Oh new pillow arrangement That's where we'll be

So Stasi is over in her room explaining how she gets pizza. This is how waiters call. This is how, once a waiter always a waiter, right? And I live by that. So when you call someone else, you're like, hi, how are you? You forget that you're the one being waited on. And that was just amusing me. She's like so overly nice.

She's like, can I bring you anything else? Do you like, ma'am, we're bringing you to you. Yeah. But she's like, I wanna see her. I'd like to see her pizza. No, a sea salad, a margarita pizza, and some balsamic, which by the way, that's how I don't eat the margarita pizza,

but I do use balsamic as a crust dipping sauce. Oh. You know what, we're bonded now. We're bonded forever. Balsamic as a crust dipping sauce? Oh, you know what? We're bonded now. We're bonded forever. Althoamic for the win. Although, honestly, it's only a mid-range condiment for her because Dossi does her rankings of pizza condiments. And she's like, Sriracha ranch,

followed by ranch, followed by balsamic, followed by plain hot sauce, and then honestly ketchup. If she's drunk, yes. If she's drunk, I would strunk and I shrug some aisle'll see ketchup. If she's drunk, yes, it's like when I was drunk and I Stuggs some I'll use ketchup. I love adult stossy that this is her biggest risk You know, you used to let some you used to let jacks put himself inside of you, okay? That's that was when you peaked you can't just follow it up with some ramps of racha, okay? Climb another mountain girl. Actually, I think with when it comes to jacks. That is an upgrade

It's an it's an upgrade, but it's like less pain. Like you're on TV, okay? And I don't want to just think about your butt hurting. You know, when you need to go to the bathroom, if you're your pizza mixture, like jacks hurt, you need to find someone worse than jacks up your game. Am I crazy that I don't have condiments with pizza? I just eat pizza. Like the pizza is its own

condiment for me. It's already like condimented up with its sauce. Well, I'm getting old, so my teeth will crack if I have a potato chips. So that's where the, you know, the liquids come in with the crust because I always get it a lot of things, but like fattening food isn't one of them. They're crusts here. They bake it. It's like really hard. And so I have to drown in some box. Domino's. No, domino's isn't, but I mean, come on, that's like really hard. And so I have to drown. For dominance. No, dominoes isn't put on me. Come on, that's dominos. I don't find I have hard. Yes, he says, I don't, I don't find that. Have you had crispy

crust? Ironically, they're cross or not? I heard it. No, they're not crispy, but they're so thick and chewy. They're like really rough to get through. Girl, I have to be it. Oh, crispy crust experience. True. There used to be a pizza place near me that would put sesame seeds on their crust and it was delicious. It was a really great innovation. It's gone now. Yeah, how about we just make a decent pizza, L.A. Let's try that. Yeah, how about that? Everyone's like, it's crazy different.

It's organic. I don't want organic pizza. I did not stick it in Christan pizza. Pizza bird me, Raquel. pizza bird me Raquel pizza bird me. I was just trying to be nice to eat it at burn to talk my mouth Pizza is fully in me My leg just pizza just break my leg They asked if I want pizza. I said a little bit and then they're like, okay, here's the pizza at burn me it burned me Yeah, I don't want a weapon. I want pizza me. Yeah, I didn't want a weapon. I want pizza. Yeah, for anybody, you know, wondering why I can't take James's bullying seriously. This is why because when he's like,

see, this is it, this is bullying. I'm like, no, it's not. And if you're going to compare it, like getting your like broken in school to this, I can't feel for you. Because now everything's bullying, you know, so about the boy who cried bullying. Yeah, the boy, the boy who cried fireball and also the boy who cried Rukka Rukka so jacks

uh... jacks is apartment tom's or jacks is room my room my my room route no my room bro so tom's like shots and tom is wearing like rubber gloves for some reason because why not uh... he finally realized after several years you know maybe it's time to start wearing rubber gloves for some reason. Because why not? He finally realized after several years, you know, maybe it's time to start wearing rubber gloves around this gang. And Jackson is thinking of becoming an adult and like taking a job, making tweets or whatever. So he's like, we're going to, it's our last night in Mexico. So we're going to get turned up.

Is it turned or turned? Turn, turned. I'll say, I will say turn, but I won't say turned because that just confuses all sorts of people. I'm like, okay, Matlock. I just don't understand texting. Yeah. William Sapphire over there, deconstructing the language. He's like, this is what we call the mandula effect.

The Mandela effect. Okay. So I'll educate you later. Okay, so I'll educate you later, okay, that joke meets Cretches of the days. Let's just move on to Lala's room. She's talking to you. Well, before Lala's room, Jack makes a ridiculous speech, I'm not speech at toast, it's not ridiculous in and of itself, it's just ridiculous in the context of the show. He's like, some ships are made of wood some ships are made of steel The only ships that last are friendships. I was like all these ships are sinking. I'm sorry

Yes, you've wrecked every ship on this show the only reason they're still on the ocean is because they got fillers He puts the dick in moby dick Oh Except he's the one that nobody chased us in the ocean. It's chasing them. Call me Brittany. You know, Moby Dick did take what's his bun's his leg. That's why the captain kept, A hat kept following him through because Moby Dick took his leg

and the captain A hat was real upset. Don't forget I saw the opera. Moby Dick. So if Jack says Moby Dick dick then who's Captain Ahab? It's probably Stasi James is James his leg got broken from bullying so he's like we're going to find that way we're going to find that way

hey hey we're gonna be Well actually I really think really Captain Ahab could be any of the women on random rule I feel like they're all out for revenge on Jacks they are except that a hab is the one that's chasing the whale. Well, that's kind of like

she knows she needs to be the most vengeful at the moment. So I kind of feel like captain a hab maybe she know it. And I think her leg is her smile jacks took my smile away. Jacks Jacks my smile off until I get it back for we're gonna kill everybody on this But I'm gonna end these like to another whale Gaties like you're chasing whales like I just there's a better use of your time Like it's just a mature chasing whales like I just have to shake my head

Shaking do you hear it my head is shaking left and right. It's shaking. It's so image, it's like a convenient whale narrative. What a convenient narrative that whale has. Did anyone realize you could just go to Carvelle and get a Fudgey the whale? Did anyone realize that? It's so much better than Jack's and it's more delicious. Oh, so over in Lala's story of my dancing. Lala is in bed with a baba. And James is there and he's like, I think he's just running with a sarcastic joke.

I would run after him, put my leg, Boolean. And Lala's like, I am so proud of how you handle that. Like I was like, he just called people's seawards and... Yeah, he basically had a tour of him. He had a tantrum. Exactly. And I was like, I'm just afraid.

I'm afraid because Christian always has a cardboard cup plan. I don't want her to come after me and Raquel. My precious Raquel, my sweet Raquel. He's like, and Lala's like, listen, dude, we're like M and Dr. Dre. He's like, that's gangster. And she's like, ain't nobody gangster like us. And then sucks on her, Baba. I'll bring down her house first.

I'm gangster like that. Yeah, you guys are like the men and the dead brothers,. Okay. Yeah, you're talking about burning down people's houses You're not m in drae shut up wiggies a wiki wiki Yeah, you kind of haven't gone through their hardships and life Yeah, guys maybe m&m but even there Like you may have had him you may have had m&m's but I'm not even sure Not even sure and Ray. I mean like maybe you have seen some sitcoms with Dre and Demetayo in it, but that's as close as it comes. Dre and Demetayo. They've partied at Dre's, so they're like, yeah, we're like M&M and

Dre. It's like bringing M&M's into Dre. It's like a great thing to bring into a club. She's probably eating M&M's like, they spelled this wrong. That's kind of gangster in its own. Missy fellow gangster way. Yeah, it's kind of gangster. I feel like M&M's must stand for like Missy and Miss demeanor. I'll just leave it there. I'll leave it. Yeah, I love her. I leave it because now I'm going through a catalog of Missy Elliott songs Don't even get me started. Okay, that's my girl. catalog of Missy Elliott songs don't even get me started okay that's my girl get your freak on okay that's not true Stan see you not missy Elliott so like that look and

Kristen's face when she threw the drink I'm like yeah we heard it it was the look of pure joy it was like Kristen coming back to life wait a second I can throw a drink at someone for some reason. Okay. I'm in. Still on the show. Still got it. So Katie, Kristen, Stasi, Kristen standing there looking like someone grabbed her by the ankles, slammed her down

on the ground face first. And then I don't know, covered her in like, like blister medication or something. She's not looking good. And Katie is like, Kristen, I'm going to be honest with you right now. You're making this so much worse for yourself. Like this is Jerry Springer level. So much just throw, Cher.

Katie said, please. I know. With her choker, that's too tight to the charms. We're all sticking straight out. Did you notice that? I was like, Katie, you need to like, let's, let's too tight to the charms are all sticking straight out. Did you notice that? I was like, Katie, you need to like, let's, let's give it some slack there. So she's, yeah, she's all worried that somebody's gonna bite her neck. Yeah.

Chris is like, do you know what the fuck I've been through today? Katie is like, but you threw a drink. Like, what was the point of that? I'm like, okay, Katie, the point of it is that it makes good television. And I understand why you're sensitive to it because of everyone who's been on this show, you're the one who's had the most drinks thrown on you and involved in by your husband. And also, you're sensitive to it because you're the one who asked to clean it up later. You know, it's another way to think where you like, who does that?

Like, Christians should know what a sticky floor feels like. know what I mean is just a route like throw a fork Throw a floor so throw something dry You know max says max shouldn't have to be over here to clean up your anger. Yeah, so when Kristen goes What do you don't you know what I went through today and she's like yes, she goes so remember how that feels Well, she hasn't been through exactly what you've been through. Yeah. I don't even think she knows why she said yes. Have you ever had two pillows on an L couch to hot tub

and then somebody used to you sleeping with James. She's like, yes, Kristen. And I handled it better than you. She's like, anyone knows you put the pillows back in the proper places after you cheat on your boyfriend, Kristen. Max shouldn't have to clean up your pillows. Okay, Kristen. So Katie starts, nothing's getting through to Kristen. So Katie's like, oh, like she's trying to cry, but it's not working. And she's like, it hurts me. Okay. You're just making a worse girl. Oh, Kristen's like poop in the bathroom. Like,

you're disgusting. Now, Kristen doesn't poop in the bathroom. Like you're disgusting. Now, Kristen doesn't even know where to go, because she's in between the two queen beds and the hotel room. So she just faces the wall. I didn't even notice that. I just noticed that Stasi was like, um, can I get my pizza now?

Are you guys done fighting? And Stasi's like, Kristen, look at her, Kristen, look at Katie, Kristen, come on, I'm like, this is like Stasi's version of Yonluffix, my life, it's like Stasi fixed my life. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and.

Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Stasi vans and. Oh, I'm worried for you. So, Christine gets into bed in the way that only Kristen can't.

She's shrugging, like her shoulders are moving, she's potting, and she's rolling her eyes, as she pulls the cover, so she's like, ooh! It wasn't good. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I think that now would be a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and he could do the like seven-minute glasses like amazing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life, but come on, some days, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the the Amazon music or Wonder e app. So the next scene is brought to us by the song, huh? I was like, what is this song? I think at this point the the orchestra is just showing up and being like just put some words together because here's how I think it went. Take my hand, welcome bitches and everything.

What does that mean? And are those the words and download the libretto for the show? Somebody? Anybody? I actually thought the words are more like, D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- Pulling their lyrics off of staples receipts. Yeah, it's like Glues sticks Anyway, we're over at Tom Tom and by the way, thank you all the Everything iconic people who came over to listen to podcasts and how have decided they are they're done with us Thank you so nice having you here, so All their new listeners who were like Well, yeah, that's the kind of the retention rate on this show. Oh Someone was asking us last week like you know, how come you don't have more haters with some of the shit that comes out of your mouth

I was like listen if you can't take us for one minute, you're not going to be able to take us for five. I'm like, I'm out. Yeah, there's, if you can't, anyone who had, like, anyone who would hate us would have to then listen to us for more than 10 minutes. And that's asking a lot of, a lot of people. Anyone who listens to us and automatically hate us stabs himself with an ice pick in their temple and just dies. That's why we never hear them again. They're not listening. They're not listening long enough to hate us. They're already gone.

I don't know what that was. I think I had a fever dream. Now in different disgust, we're rich in that. What? Did you? In different disgust. We're rich in different disgusts. Is that another royalty-free music song? We're rich, we're rich in different disgusts. Oh, in different disgusts.

Oh, I thought you said like in space, different not like in different discussed. We're rich in that Oh, I thought I was like been as so much smarter than me. What did I just say? I was like do I back to Google it? So what did I just say? Anyway, well anyway, we go over to Tom Tom Where Canon Lisa are looking at at blueprints and stuff. It's like business business business business Construction construction business And he is a brilliant designer whatever brilliant restaurant builders like And he's a brilliant designer whatever brilliant restaurant builder. It's like We're gonna let our love hasn't been as small as them one three two walls we put up the electronic

And then He just fades out at least I was just like I remember when we opened you will in picadilly circus for David furnish the pressure I remember it. It was the world's fair of 1907 and we thought we are just getting electricity, we must make an impression. The party went well and I told David, don't blame me that Elton lost her tooth on saltwater taffy. Nobody knew what that candy would bring. Nobody.

I think we went over to the new Tate Martin Museum. I were like, wow, look at that. It's a painting that's just squares. Pickle dillies sounds delicious. I love that the music playing below her is like, I love that the music playing below her is like Okay, this is your Piccadilly circus orchestra music Piccadilly memories And then and at least so Lisa gets a phone call it's Tom to end of all and she's like oh great It's gonna be Tom being like guess what Lisa have an idea for chair I have got an idea for you need for arms and go on my wife. She's like a Christian would say

Like I have Tom why don't you dead yet? He's like It's me Tom, you know like we're really living it up here in Mexico Like trying out different hot girl recipes maybe looking at some you know, like we're really living it up here in Mexico, like trying out different hot girl recipes, maybe looking at some, you know, forms, and then they show clip of him talking to the waiter, who, look, we've all been to Mexico. He like, bro, look how many tequila, and they're like, oh, he's smooth, you know, because that's what they tell you, so you'll tip them or whatever. And he's like, yeah, it is is smooth but it's a smooth criminal.

Does it have the bite of the scorpion I don't think so. Sorry I just went into Eric and Jan instead. Still works. It's hard it's the same soul. It's the same soul. Eric and Jan's done here and Tom's up here dude. I think or maybe it's the other way around. I don't get my phone. the other way around. Yes the same.

It's like literally this, for me it's like literally the same. There's five. Anyway, Tom wants to do a progress party at the construction site which is not like a real thing and any time it does happen it's always a disaster on Bravo. Exhibit A, the progress party for cut fitness where tamra had to kick out elixis baleano exhibit b when i had to bro had a progress party for her mall house and there was a big fight between Megan and vicki so Tom wants to do it for tom tom and least the van from slake

no too no it's just walls of course not no i'm like secretly it kind of looks better than sir Yeah, really keep it just just get some hanging lights in there and will be good Now I'm gonna sell my caracas now I have Eric in my head. Thanks a lot, man I'm as party so she's like oh right then I like that he lists it like he's five He's like well I was thinking because like very on

I like jacks and like, you know, time number two, I'm like Katie and like she now and Diana, maybe I'm like Peter. Yeah, no max. GG. They want to check out the place. I'm making it. So the boy is a little boy list.

Yeah, he's like, I you know, dude, I think it'll make people feel more connected when it's finished. I'm like they're all your friends. They already are connected It's like their show Yes, and they're all under construction like they get it. No one wants to live inside She knows while she's a the doctor. You know what I mean? So she's like fine. I don't care if you feel it's important to you Now it's everybody behaving tell me all the gossip about the young people in Mexico. And he's like, yeah, everyone's getting along. What?

Do you not remember the huge fight that you just started last night, sir? Yeah, exactly. This was you who started this. So he tells Lisa that Chris and James, like up you know he spreads that gossip at least a van from psych I have to say the only recipe that Kristen do he knows is a recipe for disaster get it get it she's a permanently broken bird welcome to Christian Christian. Um, anybody want a hurricane? I feel like that joke probably would have been made more sense. If Bravo hadn't cut away apparently the footage of Christian wanting to come up with recipes

for Tom Tom, did you hear about this? Did we talk about it? I think I'd have the scene. She's like, I cried. Yeah, Christian apparently has been rallying really hard to to offer up culinary insights for Tom Tom. Yeah. I dropped some bell peppers. Whoa. The recipe for disaster. You know, I do think it's kind of a double standard that she loves when the guy's fuck up, but the women, it's like never again. Yeah. Well, that's that society for you

Well, I'm not on the whole societal level just Vanderpump is just so weird like this shit that jacks gets away Gets away with you know, yeah, I mean Kristen did say either dick Diana, but at least she was offering her something You know what is jacks ever offer you in a fight, you know and to be fair in England dick is like a food spotted dick Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God, Kristen, we just got your job at congratulation. You're going to be a waiter again. It was a cultural mix up. You're welcome. So Jackson Brit are in Jackson's new Mustang thing, his classic Mustang last year. It was one of those Dodd's charted things. Nope, nope. They're still in Mexico. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just saw Jackson Britt, and I wanted to talk about them

driving around Burbank. So no, Jackson, there's still in Mexico. And Jackson tells Brittany that he's going to call Kelsey. I tell her, no, how the trip is going. So Brittany pretty much has to leave. Because apparently there could be no distractions when Jack's FaceTime's Kelsey, even though there's going to be a camera crew there, et cetera. So Brynny has to go to Stas's room to do her makeup, which is so utterly ridiculous.

But anyway, so Jack's to start the phone call. He like steps out onto the balcony slowly. It's like the meditative process begins. He stands out there and looks out and of course immediately looks down at a scentfully clad woman going by on a bike. You know, this is how his head clears. I like that he's posing like there's a camera in front of him. He's like, look at me just looking over the balcony, but it's below him. So it's like, why are you showing me your nostrils? You know, it's like he thinks he's showing like a dad and a doctor's like, why are you showing me your nostrils? You know, it's like, he thinks he's showing like a dad

and a docker's commercial, but he's really showing, you know, disaster. Yeah. So, um, so we face times with Kelsey, who's accent has become a little British in the past since we've seen her last. And she's like, are you taking time for yourself right now, Jason? And he's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm trying to, I just, I'm feeling so attacked by everybody. Everyone's just like, attack me. I get it from all ends. I'm just trying to be a good person. Yada, yada, yada. And when somebody's attacking you, I just want you to sit and breathe. I mean, out of your mouth, so oxygen can get in. And focus,

the good stuff, you know, it's like Nelson Mandela, right? He's like, uh-huh. He could see the bad Mr. Round him, or he could like look into the future and see like, you know, like being on TV. Yeah. You just remember that you are basically Nelson Mandela. You can see people attacking you, or you can do like Nelson Mandela did, and think about a future social media job for hockey teams.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, remember how Nelson Mandela did and think about a future social media job for hockey team. Yeah, you know, remember how Nelson Mandela like came through everything to learn how to tweet. Remember that? You could do that, Jacks. Now, you better get out of your mouth. You better get out of your mouth. And Jacks is like, Nelson Mandela, I'm pretty sure he was fighting for the rights of Providence. I was like, what Providence Rhode Island? No, the TV show. Yes, with with Nina, what's her face? What's her name? He's like, that was a good.

Catch up. One like, one like, catch up. He failed. Jack. And he's like, or whatever. Yeah, the producer goes, uh, do you know what country he's from? And he's like, or whatever. Yeah, the producer goes, uh, do you know what country he's from? And he's like, Africa. I know he's part of Oprah's book club.

I know that much. And I know he was on American Idol, Mandela. No, that's Manteesa. Yeah, he should never have done that country gate, that he said that gay stuff, you know. He could have been something. Mandela, he, he, uh, Mandela, he has that like really caddy podcast, right? No, that's, that's me. Ben Mandelker.

Not Mandela. Yeah, Mandela. I've just been trying to get written, I mean, written to make me one for like years and she's like, that's a ham sandwich. It's like, oh, there was a in there. So he's like, no, of course, I know who Mandela is, you know, from touch by an angel. That's Delaris. Of course, I do know Mandela is.

They made my computer monitor. That's. And that's, you know, this. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Like to bring me privacy is like such a British thing. It's like a different country, you know. Hey, man, the ghostly! Sass is like privacy. I could go for that also. She shows brini out and like pulls out a giant thing of ranch to guzzle. Yeah, she's like, I totally understand. Which is why I'd rant Kristen in the top.

So, Jack's still talking to Kelsey and she's like, for the next two two weeks Your decision is that you won't be making any decisions. I'm like that's been his whole life. I'm pretty sure and he goes Okay, well, thanks so much. Love you Yeah, and she's like Hitting yourself mad with a rock. Thanks Jason So it's time to go home and no one has a trapper keeper with cleaning instructions, which is weird. She's like, oh my god, Rob doesn't leave us anything. Oh god. Well, I know they love me because I feel that.

So she's like, after being in Mexico for three times, I'm so excited to see Rob. I'm having my kids, I'm gonna tell them it's like, George. How come I can't seem to call them George? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Ford days has felt like four months, which is funny because it's felt so slow, but Rob can do everything so fast. Like he can go to Max going back in like seven minutes. This was felt like four days, like plus 19 years, mainly 17 and a half years, plus three,

plus like hit the squirrel with your knuckle or it won't take your order. Like that's not even math, she's not. Okay. You know what's funny? I sort of like that it feels like four days because it reminds me of four weddings in a funeral. My last funeral, because Rob and I are gonna get married four times. So Kristen's like, oh, I want to struggle James.

And the worst part is I can't even leave this room here in Mexico. I have to take it home. I'm like, okay, Nelson Mandela, too. You're all victims. So back in LA, it's real food daily. And whether a Christian did or did not have sex with James, which I don't think she did. She got a scene with Carter, which I mean, eight off, you know, so I have to share the rest of it. Yeah, I hope you sent him an ice cream gift certificate because you owe him big now. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, they got a scene at like my least favorite vegan restaurant in all of Los Angeles. It's the one that like, it's the one with like, hey, here's a Rubin and it's just like leaves and you're like, huh? What? Yeah, it's a Rubin from American Idol, too. It's just all leaves and you're like, huh? What? Yeah, it's Ruben from American Idol too. It's just all the cash from American Idol. Ruben, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, the waiters and waitresses. Yeah, I have to eat Ruben's stuttered.

Oh God. That's the exact opposite of veganism. I like that real food daily. It's always cracked me up that it's like, real food daily and then above it is fake leaves. Yeah, the entire thing, that's not always droming nuts about that stupid restaurant, real food daily and they're like, here have our fake meatloaf, have our fake rubin,

have our fake burger, have our chicken that doesn't have an e, it has an apostrophe. So, Kristen's like, how's it going? Did you come up with any more Instagram memes for a T-shirt line? And he's like, no, just took care of the puppies. So she's like, oh, Mexico would have been better with you.

And I wish you were there. And I wish I never went, because everything was fine, but the James Kennedy created a rumor, and then we went to back Jackson, Britney's place. And it was like 7 a.m., and then there was a pool, and then the chalmers riding bikes and pools, and like, the horses. I don't know.

And Carter goes, dude, you're really pissing me off right now. Like, you'd be so furious if I did what you did. Like, I'm so furious. I'm so mad. And after all that stuff that she's saying, all I can say is, you and James walked on the beach together. Like, that's like the most innocent thing that could have possibly happened. Okay, sir. Are you listening to this? I'm gonna have a chat with Sandevol.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna like give him a piece of my mind. Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice at this restaurant. I'm gonna talk to Sandevol on a beach while we're walking. Wait a minute! You're right, you're right. I would never do that to you. It's sad that whenever I think of Kristen and Carter, I just think of them watching turtles racing because there was one episode like two years ago where they went to that that that bar on in Santa Monica where they watch turtles racing and ever since then I just think of them watching turtles.

Like to me, that's what they do in their free time watch turtles. I can't believe you walked with that turtle on a beach. Yeah. So then we have Shina and Lala. They arrive at Sur and Lala is like, I always look in that mirror. She's like, yeah. Did you notice how Shina has decided to just hit the machine now with her knuckles? Because she refuses to get rid of her claw hands. Yeah. So funny. I've learned to adapt. Yeah. That's called evolutions. Okay. everybody's the last rock in the Bible minus 30 So Lisa Lisa arrives with bigger cuffs than normal. They are like they look like snap dragons

She looks like her hands are just stuck in giant snap dragons or maybe crocuses a crocus You think you're all gonna wear pirate colors. I'm the master. I'm a crocus. Crocus, I don't know. You think you're all going to wear pirate colors? I'm the master. I'm a sleaze. She loves a pirate sleeve, and this is her most parody sleeve yet. So this is my favorite aspect of Vanderpump, when she's just outwardly mocking,

I mean, she's just up front mocking everybody, which I guess is every scene. But please come back to Beverly Hills, this version of Vanderpump, because the version that's on there now is really, really trying me, it's trying my patience. But this version, she's like,

oh, look at you, la la, safe and sound. What have you done to your lips? Oh, good Lord, God, what happened to her? La la. And she's like, I suck on this bottle cap thing and I start to have her way too long. And the least is like, like um I suck on this bottle cap thing and I start to have her way too long and these places like he's telling me what's been the pump rosé you were sucking on no oh la la

oh la you don't back on I'll show you what they look like when I first do it and then she shows a picture of her of I guess I guess she's doing that Kylie Jenner thing where you put the the or candle. I don't know children I was one of the but were you put the vacuum up against your lips and then it pulls out your implants really far It was no it was like it wasn't even vacuum it was what Lala did There was like kids were putting their lips into bottles and then blowing them up You know and then next thing you know they're swallowing tied pods and just killing themselves.

Survival to fitness. I don't know why this is bad. It's like, thanks, just do. Thanks, that's what you do. So, gangsters. Like, when Eminem and Dre were like, whose lips can we make bigger? Let's suck on a baba till our lips get really big and have a lot of volume. Yeah, I remember when you popped up on that tide pod

Remember that time when two pocket he was just about to cut out a little triangle on a sweatshirt 50 cents the only one that keeps surviving everyone's like why he just had a side pod martini and he's still alive Vitamin water is very effective. Okay, so the lips. So she's like, all right, enough about your insanely disturbing face. What happened in Mexico? And she's like, it was great.

We all went in on Jax. It was like femininityism. And Fanner Prum was like, why Jackson? Why Jason Jaxerie? So she's a jacks are he so cuz he's a fucking idiot I'm always out of here with the fucking idiot. Fuck that guy. She goes it took Mexico for you to see that's Wait, so wait there's more jack's is like gonna take Brandy to Florida to do some sort of social media job

for a youth hockey team or something like that. Lisa's like, what? I didn't know about that. How could I lose, Jack's? He's one of our very best bartenders. There's only so many good bartenders in this city and they all look for me. Hey, I love that she's actually cheering that he's moving.

She's, she's, she's, what on earth are you talking about? All right, Jackson's leaving things are looking up. Jackson, Jackson, you never know what to believe with Jackson. He talks a lot. Like, he told me he was going to be a bartender and he still hasn't done that either. Get that! Get that! He told me he was gonna be a bartender and he still hasn't done that either. Gah, gah, gah! Gah, gah!

Oh, Jack, he does talk so much. That's why I had to take a crash course in speaking. Baboon! Get it! Get it! And then, uh, she just keeps... No one else is there yet, so she just keeps hammering while she's like, Oh, Lala! I just can't take anything seriously out of those lips right now. I mean it's like doctors. So James and

Rakell are at Sir and she's like look at you. Wow. Did you know that when they walked in the restaurant he's like like, you go first, Baba. I was like, oh no. The Baba disease is spreading. Okay, now we have it as we have Doreed and PK picked it up. Lala's calling her Baba Baba, and now James is calling her Kel Baba. If this is the problem,

well, he'll just keep saying Baba until Lala starts sucking him off. Yeah. Okay, so he's like, look at you. She's like, we're gonna need another soon. I'm Tuesday. And James is, you know, he is so on edge. He's looking around. He thinks he's gonna be sabotaged. It looks like he's, you know, he looks like he's like in the mentoring candidate or something like that. He's like, it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. I don't know for more.

Oh, how? But Kristen's going to sabotage my cell you next Tuesday. He's like to man. Sure. He encountered it that they're like, okay, when we say a specific word, he's just going to fail at things. The word is Tuesday. Oh, you read.

Hey, I dropped my record. He did go through hypnosis last season, so you never know. You dropped my own record. I know, he went to him. He sabotaged my CD. He went to hypnosis and it led to him eating ice cream. It's like the opposite of every hypnosis I've ever been to.

I know. So then James' bit is again reassuring Requel that nothing happened. He was, I definitely, now that I'm sober, I'm sober for Sue next Tuesday, and now that I think back on Mexico, I definitely know now it was a ridiculous joke. It has been confirmed by my inside brain says, it is confirmed, ridiculous joke. And she's like, just be smarter about it. Oh, we that are never associated with her. Tell like when he's like, especially after Kristen and she goes, right.

She says so cutely stupid. And he goes, or Sam check, Sam check bad man. He's a bad man. Bad man. He's bad man. Sound good. Bad man. He's bad. I got your keys I got your keys and anyone was that is anyone how with a Toyota Corolla I'll have your keys so now Jackson Brittany are on

their way to work in Jackson's new classic muscle car what I'm like yes exactly and I don't know if you noticed this but I of course was looking trying to figure out what neighborhood they were in nice other day drove by a place called battery hut and it just seemed to make sense that these two would be But I of course was looking trying to figure out what neighborhood they were in, a nice other day drove by a place called Battery Hut. And it just seemed to make sense that these two would be driving around in a neighborhood that has a battery hut in it, you know. I know. And if they were good friends, they'd pick one up for Raquel or things.

She has a long night ahead of her. So Jackson's like, he opens her door and she's like, what the hell did you sleep with, Jackson? He's like, nobody, can I be a gentleman? She's like, have you put more thought into Florida? Have you learned what a tweet is? He's like, have you studied that grammar program I gave you on your iPhone, Jay? He's like, I have put more thought into Florida, but I still can't understand why it's called

a peninsula if they don't make pencils there. Is that where Nelson Mandela's from? It's like, if I go to Epcot Center, well, as you know, it's a Mandela. She's like, I want you to think about my tea to sell my try to say. And he's like, of course, it's a good start for us. You know, look, I've been here 15 years

and you've been here two minutes, I get it. Okay, so now your time's shaming her. Are you proud of yourself for being here 15 years and doing nothing? Leave Brittany alone. Okay, she's been here two minutes and she's got a fucking leading role on television and a spin-off, sir. I think she's winning. Exactly. Spin-off, comma, S-U-R. I also want to point out, I have a long-standing theory that people who drive muscle cars are all assholes. Sorry, sorry if I need you guys drive muscle cars. If you don't think you're an asshole, you might be an

asshole. I'm sorry. And honestly, this just, you know, adds more fuel to the fire. Jack's is driving a muscle car. There's a lot of Dodge charges around this neighborhood, sir, that are what you all am. I apologize to all the Mustang owners who are now very angry at me So if you're not an asshole, but you do drive a muscle car Just know that people think you're an asshole and that's that's that's not my fault that they think that you have Associated yourself with assholes you've associated yourself with jacks. This is the chosen a GTO is what jacks is driving I believe this is the chosen car of Jacks. You have chosen the chosen car of Jacks.

Think about that. They'll get up, okay? I love that you're like fingering your desk while you do that. You're like, I am here. It is my point. I am. I was being very political. I actually, you can't see it.

I was tenting my hands together. I had my palms right flush together, making a little like shark fin, and I was doing I was going, think about that. You have aligned yourself with Jack's tail or with your car. Just like I've aligned myself with circus bears on my vest. Yeah, because it goes many different ways, okay? And I have a line myself with like sensible, safe drivers with my Toyota Camry. He like that car stolen. So Jack's turns the conversation.

It goes from his fake hockey tweet job to, is your boyfriend Adam gonna be there? It's like, okay, we knew that when you open the door, you were immediately gonna start a fight. Because that's how you roll. He's like, look, I'm a gentleman. You don't bitch. I guess so jacks. So I think you just a nice guy. And he goes, there's no such thing as a nice guy. Nope, nope, nope. Uh, what can you do to be sort of a camera? Yeah, he goes, he needs to know his role and it's 20 steps behind me. You know what for a guy who says he's not mad at Brittany for a guy who's like knows this is all she knows maneuvering. He sure seems to be putting a lot of blame on the Brittany or implied blame and he's put her on defensive where she has to be like well, I think he's just not he's not a guy don't go after like she should not have to be un-defensive. She should just be like get over it Jacks. Yeah. Um, that's what that guy is like.

20 steps behind you, but he's definitely at least 10 years behind your ass. So just you calm down over there, buddy. He's hot. He's on something. Yeah. So Tom, number two and Katie, they're like, blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah party plan our saucy comes over and they're like, okay, what do we need for the puckering part party? Okay, we need a doorway. Yes. Lights. Yes. We want a window. Maybe. Okay, good talk. Let's talk about everybody else now. Yeah. And I like that as as Katie was writing her list, she writes in zap chance refond. I was like, thank you. That's what I wrote down. I didn't know the font, but I said she's still writing in her wedding font. I was like, I was like, how do What that's what I wrote down. I didn't know the font But I said she's still writing in her wedding font. I was like I was like how did you like write like that? I don't know she's that's her wedding font

I think that that's when she had to address all her on wedding labels And now she's like just trying to remind people that she's still married because she still got the font in her fingers Yeah, she was fully writing in zap chance for it chance I've never seen a human actually write in a font, you know Yeah, and it's not even like calligraphy, you know, it's just like bad. It's like a 1990s fancy font. Yes, it's that font where they have you know that place where you go to and there are people ride around on horses and you eat chicken legs.

Medieval times. Yeah, it's like medieval times. It's not even because that's like more of a gothic font. Zap chanceery is like the chosen font for if someone, if something's like out of order at a place that's supposed to be pretty. So like you go to a nail salon and it's like this chair is out of order written in Zap chanceery because it's a nail salon, so they try to make a little fancier than just like using times, you know? Yeah, or it's like we'll be back in five minutes Zap chanceery or they try to make a little fancier than just like using times, you know? Yeah. Or it's like, we'll be back in five minutes, zap chanceery.

Or, or cash only zap chanceery, because we're still an approachable but fancy place. Cash only, that is a really good call. Yeah, like every cash only, and like it's usually like cash only in red zap chanceery. And then thank you, signed management in like a blue I Love that Helvetica is just standing in a corner all o'ealing. Yeah I was like I've been adopted by Scandinavia, so you all can fuck yeah They're like a Helvetica's like you guys try so hard so hard

And comic sands is basically like she's not going to be like, Hi, like, oh my God, Comic Sans. Comic Sans is she know, yeah, totally. They're like, we don't know why Comic Sans always is here. We've told Comic Sans to leave so many times. And yet she keeps coming back. It's Rachel. So, so let's see. Tom, they start talking about all of this and the girls are so foolish. It's Dossie's like, she made a bigger deal out of it than she should have. Like if someone said that about me and Peter, who I did fucking a hot tub on this trip, or so and so or so, so I would just laugh.

I would just laugh it off and Katie's like, yeah, like it sucks if people think things, but who cares if it's not true So you two are the biggest fucking hippocryphal? I know don't they know Kristen by now Kristen's whole like Rayz on detra is to overcome and say for something Should be like I don't want this 100 grand candy bar. Oh, throw it down on the floor of a supermarket Yes, man. We weren't obligated to buy it. I don't care market. Yes, man, we weren't obligated to buy it. I don't care. Yes. And then Tom number two, who most likely is the one who wandered off to another hotel and fuck some stranger? We all know that right. Or a pillow. Yes. How'd they arrange? Hashtag. God, they arranged. Or an elk out somewhere.

Yeah, he's like, do I think they banged on the beach or no one was there? No, well, maybe just the tip. I'm like, oh my god, poor things, but probably still hurts and Stasis like if Patrick ever did something fishy like this with his axe I would go find some tinfoil filled with water put it in the freezer But I have to have a holder to make sure the tinfoil cone stands upright otherwise water is just going to fall out of the cone. So once I get the holder up, I put the tinfoil cone in it. It freezes, makes it an ice dagger, stab them in the neck, then let it melt, throw away the tinfoil, no fingerprints unless they developed a technology where you can take fingerprints off of water in which case I'm fucked AF. Do you know how hard it would be to kill somebody with a cone?

It's like, especially set with a slippery ice cone. You, she just end up hitting yourself with a face with the flat end. Yeah, I don't think the, the, the, the, the icicle dagger is really gonna, that's, it's hard to make that really sharp, sharp, although I guess it could work. it's still really cold it could work I mean I for she at that point she should like work a straight a sort of like

pain glass guillotine situation a la ghost you know yeah spoiler yeah yeah yeah just throw him over a boat just throw him over about or just say Patrick man bun and then let that word soak in and he's like, oh my God, I have a man bun. What am I doing with my life? This is crazy and he'll just jump off a building. Just utter the word man bun bun let it sink in truly and if it doesn't just all over again goodwill hunting style except don't say it's not your fault say man bun man bun man bun everyone on mine is making fun of your man bun he's like dead he just dies he

slips his own throat he goes to the van go a museum almost has a tear for saucy and then just dies museum, almost has a tear for saucy, and then just dies. So Brittany, wait, I was scrolled. Why did I scroll up? That's weird. Okay. So sir, I can't imagine what you got bored during my No, I wasn't worried about a man bun. I wasn't bored. I was just like, where am I? And I scrolled around. I just want to talk about Jackson's muscle car again. It's like my favorite topic. So back at Sir Wesley's like, Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do even get anybody food at any time. Hey Wes, did you know that if I were dyslexic, your name would be so.

That's like that's enough, there's nothing that's all I was. I had nothing else beyond that. I actually had to think about it. I'm like, no, because that's SO. Well, okay. So this is think about it. Like, Nanny K would so. Yes, you have to understand that when I call people idiots on this show

I'm really hating myself. Okay, I just I just made a link back to me. Yeah, I know like we said you're remake found these people But I'm the one making stupid jokes about how the word West spelled backwards is so like that's there's no punchline there It's like not even I'm literally I was about to say earlier what Why couldn't Jack's look up Nelson Mandela before he did this interview? He couldn't even make an effort to look him up with all this time, and then I realized, oh, I didn't look it up either.

At least you generally know, at the very least, he's from South Africa, and he's like an icon in the fight against apartheid, right? Yeah, it doesn't his wife love shoes. He just died like last week. he's like an icon in the fight against apartheid, right? Yeah, it doesn't his wife love shoes. Just kidding us to melt the bar. She just died like last week. A Mel de Marcos? No, when he meant Ellen.

I know, but I was making an Mel de Marcos. You're like, no, a Mel de Marcos. Yeah, hello guys, get on my ignorant shoe joke. Where are we? We're all stupid on this spot, okay? Can we find another international first lady that we can drag into this? We've got a Melden Winnie. Who's the camera-oon lady?

Would it be? Lula? Oh, I'm so sorry, you're a man. But I did love your name for the new restaurant space. Lula, Lula. What's Margaret Thatcher up to these days? Oh, she said too. Yeah, she said. Um, but Merrill did her a good, a good solid with that portrayal. Okay. I lost it. Did her a good, a good solid without portrayal. Okay.

Did her a good solid history? Hestra. Hestra. So let's see here. Um, Vanderpump is like, hello, she not look at you still pretending to publish glasses after all these years. Remember in the first episode we were making fun of she does glass polishing when we did it last week or two weeks ago. I love that she's just back to the same old space work.

She's like, the last of family done. I found my smile. It's so you're still happy with what's his face come on, day. She's like, yeah, so happy. You can marry him. I hope so. I mean, luckily, I know it likes to name Madison for little girls

She's like take your time, she knows because we're looking for houses Yeah Lisa Vanity was like no, no, no, she's like Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm It's delicious. I'm like, I'm like, I'm really trying to hug anybody. I'm just saying, why don't you come out? And then just come out. And I was like, oh, how's that feeling? You got mad? Oh, so the truth comes out.

She did just nods and smiles. And she's like, yeah. You don't even remember your own lies. There wasn't even a period in between those lies. Well, it's to be fair, when Lisa said the truth comes out. She knew she just thought she said, Rob loves you, right? Yeah. Yeah. Anything that doesn't make sense or she just hears this Rob loves you. Seeing how good you see here's like, how could you not marry Rob quickly? More quickly. That's what Lisa said. The truth did come out,

Rob does love me. No, no, the truth comes out about your scheme. My scheme to marry Rob, it's true. No, you scheme about Adam Oh, the Adam likes me and Rob together. It's true. He does So she's like, well, he's really pissed off now and he's probably gonna burn down sir Angel Jeremy back here Bring him back to me my little angel man Well, I guess worst case scenario. If we lost the restaurant we could always hire.

Nick Alain to redecorate it, Maestro. Did you see the giant swinging tiktoky, tiktoky, benzylamglock thingy putting going into TomTom Tom? I, ah, it's like counting down the menace at me and Robert going to be very kissy possibly. Nick Alain said, if given the chance he would right we decorate sir all based around a giant crystal Samins that you I thought I should I am saying I know Sam on So at night time everybody's working tonight because it's a shoot night. Let's face it everyone's working and

James and Raquel you know blah blah blah. Thanks for happening people are working drinks shaking. I was I was cracking up that Tom is behind the bar with Jackson Ariana and he's not doing his cocktail moves. He's marking it like he's rehearsing He's like yeah, all right. I was a jigger to the thing flip up and I kept it here Then I bounce it on my nose and like catch it with my butt cheeks and then bore I got it I remember that what five six seven eight so so Jack's goes he sees Adam Adam's Adam has arrived and he said why is he even here you know it's not even it's not even tonight to work this is fucked up I'm like, he's here because production was like, you should come. So he goes, he sits down with Adam outside.

And he's like, so why are you showing your face here? Like, you're not even scheduled working. That's Balzy. Yeah, I guess you have a crush on my girlfriend. And he's like, Adam just looks at him. Like Adam is one of those people that when you see him on Instagram, it's like, boner. And then you see him like just as Adam and he's like,

he just has that dumb face. It's like, I feel like like if you were to like put like, like, like you're like a microphone up to his head, you just hear like a Christopher cross song. It's like sailing. Takes me away. Yeah, it's like dad carpool music. He's just that kind of guy. He's always sitting there with his mouth open You know, and he's like, what are you yelling at me for? Like he just had a jolly rancher or something. And Jackson's like, whoa, whoa, I got it. Wait, why is my seat wet? And then he picks up his seat and he's trying to like unscrew the top.

I mean, Jackson's on whatever Jackson's always on, obviously, because now he's trying to, he's concentrating on how to unscrew the seat of the chair from the, yeah. And he goes, I don't know how these things work. Jackson, it's a, it's a giant screw. You turn it till it comes off. Even I know that. It's a chair. There's not a lot of, I don't't I don't think most chairs require a user manual

Yeah, he's like well, I'll just stand then you're in a restaurant. There's like nine Mac outside chairs the sacrifices he makes you know He really is a Nelson Mandela Yeah, like Nelson Mandela he takes a stand Yeah, Nelson Mandela that was this whole problem. He just couldn't figure out the barstools and it was torture It was torture So yeah, so so Jack's is going above and beyond to say that he's not mad because he's really angry at Sheena and really its women's fault at all, you know at the end of the day and so he's like I'm not mad bro I'm just like isn't weird like I don't know. It's just it's just weird

But I'm like not mad at you bro like I get it, you're dumb, and that's becoming from me. So, you must be really dumb, and you didn't know what was happening, and I'm like, yeah, what was funny was, it happened, like, this all happened the night that I was at your house. And Jack's like, oh, I have my house. I have my house.

I have my house. At, at my house. At my, you received a text from Sheena at my house, at my house, at my house, at my, at my, you received a text from Shina at my house. You received a text from Shina. You're in my home. Have a home in a family. I have dogs. Like your turkey sandwich dogs. Yeah, I have a home in a family and I have dogs.

And he goes, this is not a candy cane relationship. I'm like you should tell Brinny that she's like candy cane that love that about jacks. He's like yeah so he's like yeah bro I'm not mad at you I'm more mad at sheena but it was my home it was my home it was my home did you touch my nest did you touch my nest so he's like you know this is thing you see that you touch it it's like you're like all dealing with a lot it's like she no, it's just, you see that? You touch it? It's like you're all dealing with a lot. It's like she's just doing a lot of stuff. Like, she's just keeps saying rob and everyone wants to know.

They're ahead when they hear about rob. And this Adam guy is just looking at him going, he's like catching flies in his mouth. And Jackson's like, okay, you good? Okay, I'm good. Can I get you anything? Do you need me to bring you anything? All right, should I bust this table?

You know what? Never mind. Fuck that. The chair's done. He's working in this place. Let's go on to. All right, shut up. That's this table. You know what? Never mind. Fuck that. The chair's only been working this place. Let's go on to Yupp and write a terrible review about this place. And then he just leaves his drinks there. Like he's the worst employee I've ever seen. Yeah, exactly.

So then we see Ariana gets up onto the bar and is like, hey, everyone. Shots. If you want a shot, you actually have to come to me because there are these giant chandeliers here. So I kind of can't move. So get in line. I'm up. I've got got a meeting I've got a meeting to not have these on the bar in my restaurant so that my girlfriend can like dance around like that so yeah meeting meeting. Well I suppose that all depends on what the

Maestro has in store for the lighting. Maestro. So then we get, let's see, Jackson Brittney. So, Jackson goes up to Brittney and she's like, meanwhile Lala knows all the words to James the song, which is cracking me up. Before Jackson goes up to Brittney, she and Katie are like clocking out of work and she is like, are you done? And she's like, yeah, and she goes, me too. Yeah, I'm about to do. Yes, so let me see here. There's so much going on there. I just keep coming back to in my house, in my house. Yeah, that's what happened because Jack's

confronts Brittany about Adam and he's like, she knew what's texting Adam in my home, in my house. And like, first of all, it's, you guys both share the house, it's not a house, it's an apartment. And second of all, in my house. And like, first of all, it's, you guys both share the house, it's not a house, it's an apartment. And second of all, you gotta relax. Okay, it is possible to receive text messages in other people's homes,

and it's not the biggest offense in the world. I know, he's like suing team mobile. He's like, how could you? Yeah, and so Jack starts doing this. He's really starting to do play like mind games with Brittany. This is how he operates. He puts like even though he is the one who has really committed the most sins in this relationship, he will always do whatever it takes to make Brittany feel guilty. And she falls for it and she gets really defensive and he's like, you're okay with your friend doing that.

You're okay with your like, sheena manipulating you, depending the situation, going behind your back and trying to set you up with someone else. Why won't you say something? Why won't you say something to Gina? You're okay with that her of all people divorce So in my house in my house and so Britney's like well if you want to yell at sheenah You do it. I'm not gonna do that. She's like So he goes over meanwhile she's sitting there with Ariana and Lala and whoever else and They're like oh god, so James is there and Ariana's like Can I ask you one question where did the pillows come from?

Now everybody thinks this is an actual thing. Yeah, and that it proves anything. And it out. Yes, it proves nothing, people. So James is like, oh, well, well, I said I was going to sleep day. So Jackson boy gave me some pillows. It's like, that's so nice. And he set them. Did he set them up for you? I was waiting for that part because that's so fucking jacks.

And he was like, Chris Den was listening to Fleetwood Mac on her phone. And I just like cracked me up. The idea of Chris and being drunk The for her phone up to her ear just you know like in a learn slide Don't stop thinking about tomorrow Seriously, I want to think about tomorrow And then Tom number two was just riding bikes in the ocean. Nobody really understood that one.

Still don't to be honest. The Jackson's just doing this because he looks like a stupid sad dog. And that's why I was doing this. So Jackson's like, can I join you? And she's like, yeah, which I don't know what's even met by that, but it was funny. And so Jackson's like, I talked to Adam and you say you're my friend, but it was my home. It wasn't a setup jacks, I wasn't a setup. I have to multiple people, I wasn't a setup.

Yeah, and he goes, Hold everybody, it's a setup. What do you talk about? I know, that's what's hilarious. She keeps denying it to jacks and then she probably goes and tells everyone else. And I think I actually support it because she doesn't fucking care. She's just like, whatever jacks is miserable. So I'm just going to fuck with him and he fucked with me, so I'm going to do it back to him. I actually support it because she doesn't fucking care. She's just like whatever, Jack's is miserable.

So I'm just gonna fuck with him and he fucked with me, so I'm gonna do it back to him. So he's like, the woman can't even keep a husband, but she's gonna tell me how to run my relationship. I'm like, first of all, this language, the woman can't even keep a husband, as if that's like her obligation in life, as in like, I hate this thing,

like man are inherently always going to fly the coupons up to the women to tie them down. No, Jacks. It wasn't about her keeping the husband. It was about Shay keeping Shina, because Shina was the better option in that group, oddly enough. And she's not that great, but she's better than Shay.

Yeah. So she's getting pissed, because everybody's saying it's not that big of a deal. And Katie's like, um, guess what? Christmas is not the only person that fucked up because this is like the 47 millionth time jacks fucked up. I'm glad we have Katie here. Okay. Yeah.

Go back to practicing your font. It's just so immature. So yeah, so it's the way stuff life. So jacks is like in my house, house she in my house and she's like um but you fucked faith so what's your fucking argument and everyone's like yeah jacks you don't only have an argument you don't have an argument jacks he's like raky raky raky raky raky raky raky they're like wise jacks hanging itself with a rock so somebody stop him so Vanderpump and Ken come in like wobbling and Vanderpump is basically bringing Ken in on the

dolly at this point. She's like, he's squeaky squeaky. So hello Billy Lee La, where's Billy Lee La? I don't even want to be yeah. So she knows she, Jack's still yelling at Sheena and she's like, listen Jack, I don't need you to kiss me Hello, but it would be nice to acknowledge me. Yes. Oh god, I started saying hi in five seconds. One of these roll-out-the-fucking red carpet for you, Lisa. But I just rolled out the red carpet. Well, Jacks is the thing that really tip Jacks, like, just pushed him into the red, was that...

Is that James said that Jacks made up the whole golf... The incident that happened in the golf course. So Jacks is like, what? I didn't make that up. I didn't make that up. And so, now Lala starts to yell at Jacks. Like, listen, James doesn't remember that, so it didn't happen.

And Jacks eyes are bulging, Lisa walks in. She's like, I want to be acknowledged. And Jacks is like, I'm sick of everyone. God damn, script on me. Why does everyone come from me? And he's like, sticking out his middle fingers and everything. And Lisa is like pulling I'm sick of everyone. God damn script on me. Why does everyone come from me? And he's like, sticking out his middle fingers and everything. And Lisa's like pulling Jackson's side. And she's doing this thing where like,

she's busy trying to shush him like, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, angry birds, angry birds, calm down. No biggies here, angry birds, be a broken bird, be a broken bird. No angry birds. Too many pigs got harmed in the family give that video game So he keeps saying he keeps saying flipping the script jacks us stop pretending anybody has ever offered you a script to flip So James is like calm down bro calm down bro and can say I don't want you to get in from Lisa No, not for Lisa. I'm gonna like a spock out

No, not fully soft. I'm like a spock out spock. And Jackson's like it's not fair He starts like baby now. He's like it's not fair and he's like I get that it's not fair But you know what else is unfair the sugar to wine ratio in sangria no one's ever figured that one out Move it. Let's not fair. It's a corner. How am I supposed to reach into there? So jacks so jacks like goes stands by the host to stand he just is sitting there still angry flipping it flipping middle fingers to the room And he's like I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry again. I'm sorry. I can't help it. Okay one more time One more time. All right. Oh one more one more finger. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so then Lisa's like all right now Mr. Mr. Mr. Taylor Sorry, I was in James mode. All right, Mr. Taylor

You're being arrogant and obnoxious. You're being a baby and he's like, you're not listening to me. It's my favorite response to when someone calls you a baby and someone says, but you're not listening to me. So then he goes outside and he's like, fuck all of you guys, just script flipping. And then he goes outside and he's just like, take off my mic and then Trump comes at and he's just like take off my mic and then Tom comes at me like Bro, and he's like what now you're buddy buddy with Adam. I can't believe he did it in my home He's like oh god, what am I supposed to talk to him?

Do you want me to go yelled him right now and accuse him of fucking somebody and trying to ruin this relationship? Cuz I'll do it bro. Come on I'm a fucking somebody and trying to ruin this relationship because I'll do it bro, come on. Oh my God, so Jackson's just, he's furious. Lisa tells him, I am listening to you and I don't like what I'm hearing. How about that? Zing!

I'm telling you to leave. No. So, Jackson is now furious. Tom's trying to diffuse a situation. Jackson just, he pulls off his microphone and he walks down the street. And as he's walking down the just, he pulls off his microphone and he walks down the street. And as he's walking down the street, he punches a pay phone. And I'm like, having pay phones been through enough. I mean, that pay phone was just lucky enough to even

be around. All right. And now you got to punch it. The poor thing. What about the poor person that has to touch that pay phone next? There's enough germs on pay phones already. He's like creating the super bug having his in there The pay phones like I'm still here. I'm still here Wow, and as the as the phone falls off the cradle we hear Rick L talking to James That was actually Rick L's cell phone that was just like like she just carries around a giant paper on a dolly She just has it on a rope That might hate all of my quarters. I

Called star six nine And that brings us to the end of band-up pump room That was a fun show. So in the spirit of band-up pumppour rules, Taco Bell, you're a vine, our show, watch crappens.com, get your tickets. It'll be a fun time. And tomorrow, we are back to talk Real House as a Beverly Hills, and do some listener mailbag, crappens mailbag, so that'll be fun. And I'm not mailbag, I mean, crappens spotlight. So that'll be fun. And I guess we mailbag, I mean crap in spotlight. So that'll be fun. And I guess we'll just see it tomorrow guys. Have a great night. Yeah, we'll see you then everybody. Bye. or you can listen and have free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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