Watch What Crappens - PumpRules: Who Gets the PJ?

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

The girls finish up their Let's Torture Kristen wine weekend and move on to stressing about how many drinks the Toms will get on the menu. Also, LaLa vows to find another BJ for a PJ sitch af...ter dumping Rand. To hear this week's bonus episode about the Oscars and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. What would crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors? Aaron McNickalus, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Just saying, okay?
Starting point is 00:00:38 Christy Wowardy-Dowardy, Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobel-owny. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson, hot dang, it's Jessica Dang.
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Starting point is 00:01:19 Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Soul okay with Wellington to pray. And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- We love you guys! I have come to pray for the rest of my life. I've been so much for my friends. I've been so much for my friends.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I've been so much for my friends. I've been so much for my friends. I've been so much for my friends. I've been so much that happens. There's so much that happens. Oh, but these are the rules around it. Who cares what happens, but there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Karen.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I'm also on the Rose Fricks Bachelor Rost podcast. And here is the cool Joss! Ben of the Ben Ben cartoon series the real housewares of kitchen eyes land hello Ben well hello Ronnie well what a lovely treat to get to talk to you on a Tuesday night that's very rare for us well you know it's even more rare is talking to you on a Monday night which this is a Monday night. We're doing this immediately after the airing of Vanderpump rules. What a thought. What I thought the reason why we're doing that is because we are going onto Michelle Collins serious XM show tomorrow. And so, you know, scheduling scheduling scheduling,
Starting point is 00:02:41 we just had to do our thing tonight. So we're super excited. Also, super excited to go into Michelle's thing and I think that Laura Marie is going to be on the show with us. That's what I just saw on Michelle's IG which is at Mishkol go follow her. Oh I love Laura. Well that would be nice. I know. I have a feeling we will be having a big old, uh, big old Gab Fest over Vanderpump real tomorrow morning and I can't wait. Well thankfully we'll get all the good stuff out here Screamy show calling Yeah, but right now just to show some shit because what else would we be if we weren't chill and shit at the top of the show tonight Episode is being live streamed on TV party get the TV party to watch that
Starting point is 00:03:20 It's an app on your phone if you miss it you can always catch our live streams on our Patreon page. We have a crap ins video on demand service. So we're taping this for that as well. So, hi people watching on a big screen. Hi, don't have a comment. Also, we are going to be live in DC next week. That sold out. Sorry, but don't miss out. Come to our Cincinnati shows. We're sold out for one of those shows what we're having uh... happy hour show on march the saturday saturday saturday march this something to find out just got a crap ins watch what
Starting point is 00:03:53 crap ins dot com and that's also where you'll find links to louis and the lexins and shirts for limited time only i think that's all been right yeah um... that's it i mean watch watchcraftens.com anything you need go there. And any questions you have about live shows, join our Facebook group, Watchcraftens, live and loving it. So... I have just here thinking out for the live viewers right now. Yes, oh I see. Ronnie is making a wardrobe adjustment.
Starting point is 00:04:20 He's becoming chased. He bunded himself up. So... He's becoming he's becoming chased he bund himself up So Band of pump rules a band of up rules So let's just dive in I really enjoyed this episode not that anyone cares Stupid personally, but I sure love the opening song which was I've got nothing to say to you say to you There is nothing I can do I can do I got nothing to say to you, say to you, there is nothing I can do, I can do, I have nothing to say to you, say to you, say to you, there's nothing that I can do, I can do. I can do. Wow. It's a song about one's isolation and one's existence
Starting point is 00:05:01 being futile in the larger universe. I mean, it's deep. Trixie goes deep. I think they just didn't give Trixie Monical enough time to write down. You fell down on the floor in a short romper. You fell down on the floor in a short romper. Oh, for Christy. I think that she was calling up her agent to complain, but she couldn't help but sing. She's like, you know what? I'm sick of you giving Lala all the opening slots and Vandipump rules Okay, you know what I gotta say. I've got nothing to say to you say to you. There's nothing that I can do I can do pull right that one down. It's a hit. It's a hit. I'm back Can I have a guitar in this one? No, Trixie. You're overbudged. Oh damn it. You'll get two lyrics from me, Paul I'm just gonna say two lyrics repeat them over and over again and get my royalties, okay?
Starting point is 00:05:43 So my royalty Sorry, okay? So my role to Sorry, so the girls are still in solving or is he like to call it so boring and It shows them all like oh look we're together. We're girls. We're waking up in the morning It's girls together and then it's just she not on the floor alone with her cell phone Which is it's own kind of romance guys? It really is it was sweet it's a fine romance lots of swan in the top yes does that mean I'm having a stroke if I smell burnt burnt things or it's specifically burnt toast um it might just mean that your house is on fire well fuck it I guess we'll find out yeah where were we this podcast on um, well, we did have that one episode by the
Starting point is 00:06:26 remember, remember, my building did catch on fire for one. Yes, that has happened before. That's why I'm like, whatever we survived that. So yeah. So, um, I'll tell you what did not survive anything was Katie's, uh, Katie, Katie didn't survive Kristen's night of craziness. She, she has such a hard time. She didn't even sleep in the same room with Kristen. We know this Because the camera lingers on Katie's bed and says Katie's bed on it's totally made I mean it's a totally made bed unslept in Totally untouched yeah, and Katie's like in super Aggressively passive behavior mode where she's just walking around in her sir uniform
Starting point is 00:07:02 Which is like wait even it's even picture because chris can't work at sir anymore like she got fine yeah so Katie's like I'm at it you and I said have a job as a waiter yeah I think Katie was having like a Celeste town's end moment in at the mall where she was like you know what I'm really pissed I'm gonna wear my sir outfit only for people to say pictures me and selling well it worked because the guy at the winery is like hey Brittany chris me, Kristen, Lala, what's up, guys? Am I right? Yeah, we're all on first name basis, right? So, um, so Katie, like, walks into the room, and Kristen just goes for like this big clumsy hug. She does this thing,
Starting point is 00:07:36 where she's like, I got weird, like, I don't even want to say a Frankenstein mummy hug. It was just like a weird, like sad, like garden clippers hug. You know, like in the middle of like an, like an off-rhythm band and she's playing two tamberines at the same time. No. Oh, oh, oh an awkward hug and she's like I love you a lot. And Katie's like, um, I love you a lot too, but like that's got a stop, Kristen, like Katie who starts everything, you know, yeah, great. Yeah, I like picks and picks at Kristen until she goes crazy and then it's like, why are you know? Yeah, great K.I. Yeah, I like picks and picks at Kristen until she goes crazy and then it's like,
Starting point is 00:08:26 why are you crazy? Yeah, me and while Kristen her only defense was to sniffle. She's like, I don't know what we have anything to say, but... Like... Seriously? Trying to say seriously with my sniffles,
Starting point is 00:08:40 and it's really hard, I think I'm going to hyperventilate. Yeah, it's like, I need to figure out how to like deal with James, because like obviously, James isn't going anywhere. Kristen, you don't work there anymore, okay? Get a grip. Yeah, really? Like literally get a grip on something, because you're sliding everywhere. Get a grip on the rails in the shower right now, and just a cold steady for two seconds.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yeah, cool. So, cold steady, we can get you a special room that has bars. Apparently, Kristen, the light before, was when even crazier, and was knocking on all their doors, and trying to get cigarettes and threatening to go home, to which I say, why was this not recorded? What exactly? Here we go with another low-budget.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Let's give the camera guys a night off. The girls are being lame in a toy store and solving. Yeah, no. You have to be paying a cameraman at at all time and if not a camera man producer should be there with their iPhone. An iPhone is good enough for me. As long as it's steady, we just need an evidence. We need to see Kristen knocking on every door and solving and freaking out.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Yeah, I need Vanderpump's son Max just walking around with the GoPro on his head. I really don't give a fuck, but take care of it. Yeah, he should be doing something. So yeah, so basically Katie's like, well, my convenient narrative is that I really don't give a fuck but take care of it. Yeah, he should be doing something. So yeah, so basically Katie's like, well, my convening narrative is that I think the real reason that your upset is because of Carter. So yeah, she's like, yeah, this isn't James. It's Carter. We've decided we're taking down your relationship.
Starting point is 00:10:00 We've already done, we've already dealt with James, okay, next we're taking down your boyfriend. Okay, are you on board or not? Okay? You want a job on the show? Yeah. Yeah, so they're deciding this is all Carter's fault, which to me is hilarious. I can understand how it would be having, you know, a couch surfer at your house, but. Yeah. I mean, Christen's no walk in the park.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Listen, but let's face it. Carter's not even a couch surfer. He's like a couch wakeboarder. You know, you're like, oh, you're like the less interesting version. Yeah, he's like a couch baronator. He's like a couch body border. Like really, you're not even going to get up on your feet, really? He's just a pork loin marinating on a crab. You're like, I'm just taking the surfing away and turning him into a pork I'm just not my marination. I'm on to marination now. Okay, you do whatever you need to there's an entire religion that won't even touch him The men and nights. Oh, oh you mean the Jews my people. I was thinking about like marionite
Starting point is 00:10:57 Maybe that's what he meant, but I guarantee men and nights. He's very anti-menonite. He is very like a men and night unfriendly too Yeah, or as they would say on this show. He's like anti-menonite. He's very like a menonite unfriendly too. Yeah, or as they would say on this show He's like anti-menny Okay, so He's an anti-menon Speaking of which yeah, we now go over to the Mondrian hotel, which is originally called the Mondrian menonite No, it doesn't work. One three night hotel. Monty tonight.
Starting point is 00:11:25 There we go. It's where you go to be a whore in your 20s. I mean, aren't the men and I so once you take a break from religion for a year and just fuck everyone they can to see if they want to be Quakers or not. I think you've actually now mixed three things together. You mix Quakers, Amish, and Men and I. It's I barely even know what Men and I are. I think they were a little bonnets.
Starting point is 00:11:43 My name is Ronnie and I'm here to make religion fun again. Yeah, I would like someone on TV party to just give us a quick like this is what men and nights are all about because I could I actually think there's been some men and nights on a flight of mine recently. So I want to loud actually so they're being anti men. There were quite a lot of men's right now. It was old-fashioned people. They were wearing like very like humble clothing with bonnets But they were on a plane I don't believe their religion then there I said How dare you wear traditional clothing on a plane? Maybe you're just a fan with terrible fashion
Starting point is 00:12:17 You guys I don't I don't know what I'm even saying why are we beating up? Okay, I know why I don't even know what men and nights do I I don't know like their their neighborhood like I don't know anything They are big fans of the deodorant men in I'm an in oh That's that's some tricks. He work right there. All right. I'm gonna do a commercial. What's it called for? Men in all right by men in there. I did it $20,000. Please All right then. Oh, I mean, boy, men in.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I thought I, that time someone came for the buy-man in jingle. You're right, that is the lady's jingle we've ever heard. Buy my bet, my, buy-man in. There's not even any, there's not even any wordplay there. Oh, I guess maybe the wordplay is, is it like, this is by men in or you should also by men in? Oh, oh, maybe yeah, I guess so. Wow, I never put that together. Thanks. Okay, so we're at the Montreal or otherwise known as the anti-menin hotel. The anti-menin, anti-menin, anti-menin
Starting point is 00:13:21 hotel, which is the original name, It's called the AMAM hotel. And we're not sure what's going on because all the guys are just like asleep in there and stuff, but we hear a Scena muppet growl. Did you notice that? The scene starts off like this. But I don't know who it was. Sheena had Super Mario brothered herself from the drain in the drain and solving to the drain and the Mondron she was trying to crawl out of the drain. I did a warp sound. But then they just plunge her back down. Girl, you crazy. So, Jack's is I think talking into sleep. I might have just missed this line, but I think Jackie said jiggie sucks sucks you need to get over it
Starting point is 00:14:07 I don't think I started that's what I read I didn't really write too many details about the scene because it was sort of like a oh jacks is tired and he can't drink the way he used to be able to either hook up with a girl and like oh we're adulting yay yeah, he's grown so much okay here's my issue with this episode. Don't need to see Jack's grow. I mean, I know he's not growing. I don't need to see Jack's pretend to grow.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Also, I don't need a lot of pretend to grow. And I certainly don't need Stasi to pretend to grow. I'm at this. If I know when you yell at somebody and be a fucking terrorist, get out of my way. There are young terrorists ready to strap on the vest right behind you. Yes. Yeah, I agree. I don't want to see any personal growth on this show. I think it's disgusting on Vanderpump rules. I think we need nothing but like regression. So does he literally cried for somebody else's feelings today? I know.
Starting point is 00:14:55 And I was like, who are you? What has happened to you? Is this what love does to people? Because I never fucking want it. That's what love can do. It's, you know, I'm'm just I'm upset with all the the personal growth especially because I actually feel like maybe there really is no personal growth but they just like to talk like this personal growth which is just as bad if not worse. Yeah it's called being a sociopath okay and it's way worse in the end. I'd just rather someone not ever go to therapy so they don't learn how to lie to me so well. Yeah. So, um, uh, so the guys are just hung over and Schwartz has some
Starting point is 00:15:26 like funny moment where he's like, oh, oh, gosh, Jackson's regretful about the girls coming over. It's nice because you know, normally at this time, he'd be on to a pregnancy scare. Oh, gosh. I'm like, that's nice, but that's like, that was like what I was going to say. So. like that was like what I was gonna say so. Yeah, line. Yeah, so then the girls are still so buying. Did you know that Jack said it was gone so buying? I said, Jack. Jack was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:15:55 I was like, I was like, I was like, he said, I was like, I was like, you know, and he said, he can't drink that much anymore. He was like, he said, he's my honor. He was like, I was like, he was like, I was like, under a blanket and I was like, Jack, under a blanket, he's like, I know, I'm an adult man. I was like, Jayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay It was hilarious. Like you were on the ground. Like hilarious. And then it just cuts to Christy and like,
Starting point is 00:16:29 seriously? Seriously. Yeah, I do remember, and I also remember you blasting Aurem's pivotal hit, seminal hit, stand in my ears. I did not appreciate that, okay? Seriously, seriously, stand in a place where you argue. How about now?
Starting point is 00:16:44 Where's the seminal hit sit? So then this is where we get the waiter. He's like, Brit Brit, hey girls, I'm your waiter. High-crested. What can I get you? And I was like, okay, too comfortable. Back the fuck off, okay? Yeah, first name basis. No. You knew things were not going to be right because they were at a place called Demetriv in yours Which just made me think of Demetriv from Blood Sweat and Heels. It's a big deal. Yeah, you don't want to fuck with burial. Yeah It's a big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. Super. It's a big deal. It's a big deal
Starting point is 00:17:13 So the way it is like do you have someone ask for how long? Why am I writing this down? Do you have water? That's the next thing I wrote down like is that I wrote down to I wrote down to because it's like us like wait wait Do you have like water and he's like give me sparse She's like give me sparkling water or wait wait is like no we have flat But oh we actually have some but I can get you some pely grino I'm like bitch you just ask for flat what for sparkling water just say yes Here's some pely grino. Don't make us go through your whole flat water. I'm all yeah It's like I could be sparkling with a couple of little like tastes of like spirt of olive spirt.
Starting point is 00:17:46 It's gonna be spurt delicious. Just like thanks, wait, wait. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I like calling it, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Oh. Oh. Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. So yeah, so Lala's like, yeah, so basically, when ran, he was like, like don't, so basically, Ren Ran, he was like, don't drink anymore, because when I drink, I'm like Lala and drinking is like a terrible combination. Apparently, I don't take it like a champ.
Starting point is 00:18:15 So it's not like my pussy, which can take it like a jam. Yeah, I can take PN2V, but I can't take vodka in the me. I can't take VN2V, okay? Okay, I can't be. Not V me. So can't take V in the me, okay? Okay. Can't be me. Not V in the me, got it? So she's just Lala. All she can do is sniff the wine. So she's just like sniffing it from the glass,
Starting point is 00:18:33 taking in the aromas, and then it cuts to she, you know, sipping her, it's going, ah. One thing I can really get, I can always feel like some kind of empathy. What am I trying to say? Kinship. One way I can feel kinship with this cast is the way that they all attack sobriety because it's like a five-minute event and then it's over It's like you just have to get through that day, you know, and that's like I did it, you know I was served a chip, you know Yeah, it's like a thunderstorm in Los Angeles. It's, oh my God, there's lightning and thunder.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Whoa, oh my God, it's a storm. Okay, it's sunny again. Yeah, thanks for this chip. All this is missing is some salsa and a margarita, okay? Yeah, yeah. Now, the good news for Lala is that she's not alone because Brittany is also not drinking. She's like, I was like, I told Jacks,
Starting point is 00:19:21 I was like, I got so drunk last night, I got sick from something. Like, maybe it was a Cheetos, maybe it's a jerk that I ate by accident that I thought was like chocolate dirt, chocolate sand, and I ate like, I told Jacks, I was like, I got so drunk last night, I got sick from something. Like maybe there's a cheetos, maybe there's a jerk that I ate by accident, that I thought was like chocolate dirt, chocolate sand, and I ate it, and I was throwing up every single hour on the hour. It was crazy. I was like, I was like, I thought your suffigates with like coming out of your mouth I was I was like I was like I have to go see a doctor because maybe I'm like allergic to something like
Starting point is 00:19:53 I don't know what it could be and she is like um you might have an agave allergy because you drink a lot of tecilla Like coming up on the next episode of the Doctor's China. I'll just- A gov-a-allard. Do you have a gov-a-allard? I think that you may have an agave-a-allard. I have to- I told all of that on West Kabeena. I remember my name song. Agave-a-allard. I heard it with the big agave.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Agave-a-allard. I heard that was a big agave-a-allard. I'll break-a-talk about that one. Do you have a talk about agave-a-allard? Maybe I biology outbreak. Talk about that. Did you hear about the talk about that? I'll go about that. Maybe I'll go about that. I really should talk about that.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Did you drink alcohol and that? I've never had that. I took my car. You can get allergic to that. So let's see. Brighton needs like, yeah, I'm not talking to a doctor. I see I'm allergic to certain. I'm like, yeah, getting wasted. Okay, I'm allergic to something like yeah getting wasted, okay?
Starting point is 00:20:45 Everyone's allergic to getting wasted you dumb dumb Oh, Kristen probably slipped her some lavender and you know what I thought was hilarious I actually finally looked up what that lavender was because I did solicit questions of like suggestions over what it might be and after Careful examination It turns out that remember I made a joke that she was eating garlic. She really was she was eating a garlic flower It was it's something called society garlic Which is such a Kristen flower of course she would drink a flower. She's like, yeah, I'm in society But she's eating garlic instead
Starting point is 00:21:13 Vanderpump's like I heard what you did to society, Kristen Dodie You ate society's daughter so much promise Wait, I got society. So Brittany's like, well, what if I got to stop drinking? Never looks like it looks around. And I said, hey, hey, stassy. Where we being bitches when we called those boys, Stossies that can know, they're lucky we didn't fly back there, take their fucking nuts out of their groin, so like put him in a drink, chop him up in a fucking
Starting point is 00:21:48 blender and turn him into protein shakes, it would give Jack's manbees and make him redo his titshop. I miss that, Stasi. She's like, we weren't being bitches. We were actually being very lovely people and I am so mad about it. Yeah. And so let's see. She's like, no, he didn't have to call me. and I am so mad about it. Yeah, and so let's see.
Starting point is 00:22:05 She's like, he didn't have to call me. Like, he totally did it perfect without me even telling him. Like, the old me would have freaked out, but like, progress. I'm like, okay, so you're making progress for not ripping someone's throat at. And Jackson's making progress for not like, trying to choke somebody with his-
Starting point is 00:22:21 Yeah, Jackson's making progress for having very basic courtesy to his girlfriend. Great. So then like the scene sort of shifts. And there's like this weird moment where all the girls start going, look where we are. It's so pretty. It's so pretty.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Look, it's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's not ice. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. Isn't it pretty?
Starting point is 00:22:43 It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It's so pretty You'd have somebody to yell at get your frustrations out on but no That's a pretty ass pretty so like most of the cast go most the girls go off to play cornhole Which I think we were robbed of being able to see that visual of sheena trying to do cornhole. How do I do that? I Don't know I totally played cornhole. I think I'm I can see the atom. I don't know. I totally played cornhole if you don't have a name. That's sacks.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to overpower. That's all I'm. I could see Shina just like stepping in the cornhole and spreading her ankle. Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:23:34 Ah! I brought my ankle out of the cornhole. What happened, Shina? I stuck in the cornhole. I'm sure that we were all shocked when Shina said, when Brittany Britney said I love that guy we played all the time at home like no, yeah, we know Britney We figured she actually plays real corn. She just chucked the corn across them long So let's see here so Kristen while they're while they're playing cornhole
Starting point is 00:24:01 Kristen starts pouring herself this giant pour of launch. Like, oh, I'm mad. So she pours a giant, giant pour, which I get very excited about, you know. And then Stasi's like, um, cute ring. It's like Katie's not there to be mean to her for Stasi. Six Stasi's like, what I'm supposed to be nice this season. So Kristen's like, oh, and she goes, well, you seem to be doing better today. Yeah, like, I mean, mean like it's just like James went away for so long and I was like back and this time Like yeah, but you tell everyone like what you're sad about you talk us what you said about
Starting point is 00:24:35 I ain't just talking about we just sat about say it so I don't get in trouble talking about how you support Carter Seriously seriously, are we talking about me and James are we talking about me and Carter or we Talk about me and gravity or me and lavender aka society garlic. What are we talking about? It's like the only friend I have right now are short rompers The only friend I have right now is beetle juice and I have to give his outfit back So yeah, so it's a bad guy while well, you know, you do all the work, you pay out the bills and she's like, yeah, like every morning, like screams at me and like every day is like, what the dogs bitch? And I'm like, but we're defending because like,
Starting point is 00:25:16 he's not like that all the time. He oh, yeah, the classic. He's not should eat all the time, which is really a great way to frame your relationship. White, I think that should be their vow. I promise to be cool with the fact that you're not shitty all the time. I promise to not call you a bitch all the time for the rest of our lives. Yeah. I do work. So, Kristen tells us that dating Carter's like having a teenage son playing video games
Starting point is 00:25:45 in the basement all the time. I'm like, hmm, yeah. And you know it's not a good idea dating at your teenage son. So like it's something. Let's move for, let's move Carter along. Yeah, you're getting into some creepy territory there. I've just had such bad luck with dating
Starting point is 00:25:59 that I hear someone calls me a bitch every day. I mean, I earned it. You know, I have to like, I'm just thinking with myself like, I earned it. But then he says, walk the dogs. To me, I'm like, that's a man who cares about the dogs. That is so touching. Like my bar is set so low at this point. I'm like, sounds like a prince to me. Well, then there's like a tender Christian moment because she's like, you know, he's not trying hard enough because, you know, he has a bet to sleep in and a apartment to wake up in and a girlfriend to take care of him.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Sad shoulder. She literally does like a sad shoulder roll. She like punctuates it like a, hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Sad shoulder roll. A sad, sad, sad shoulder.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Because normally her shoulder is like, I just said it, I said it, but this time I was like, I know what I've said it. Camila grammar. I've said it. Sorry, it disappeared because I forgot to pour a cup of water. So now I just have this humongous crystal geyser. Just a geyser. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:58 It's a. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I still working on my coffee. Guys are being made out of cheap, assed in plastic. And I was trying I still working on my call. I was thinking of cheap ass thin plastic. And that was trying to drink it off the camera. And then it, you know, I squeezed it and it went all over the place.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Sorry. I had an emergency over here. It's okay because there's a huge emergency happening at Tom Tom. Lisa is there and she's like, I don't like the flowers like that. Why the dead leaves off? Oh, I can see the bottom of the vase, the bottom of the vase. I'm like, you're so concerned about the dead leaves on the plant. When you literally have like Harrison decomposing on the bar top right there.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Harrison's like, wasn't that jiggy? Was that Harrison? No, I thought it was a jiggy at first. It's Harrison. Oh, but Harris, what do they drug their dogs? How is it that every dog they have? Well, schnookies not like that, but I don't they drug their dog? How is it that every dog they have? Well, Snooki's not like that
Starting point is 00:27:45 But I don't like Harrison being that low energy expect maybe it's the clothes they wear I Feel like they are training Harrison to be the next jikki like next thing you know like I think it'd be like mommy dead and dearest Like jikki was never never had alopecia. They just shaved him and like watch Harrison's gonna get the alopecia soon to like We can't believe the odds both of them all about Harrison's just waiting in the wings like yeah, I'm sleeping on this bar. Oh, yeah Harrison's gonna murder Lisa with the boy with the boyfriend that he met on the internet So the tom's come in and Santa was like whoa is like a pinch me moment bro
Starting point is 00:28:25 I'm behind like beside myself seeing my name on a place like I'm never gonna get used to that Dude I didn't mean you can actually pinch me. Oh Sorry, sorry work Bubba. I just like playing cornhole So Lisa has brand new news. This is like this was like my favorite thing that happened all season Lisa's like All right you two I've got big news. I met someone named And she's a top mixologist and I invited slide to come over. She's the nickel in of cocktails She's the nickelane of cocktails. She's the Sly Stro. She's the Sly Stro.
Starting point is 00:29:11 She's of the family stone. And she's coming here to make drinks because you little woozy pussy couldn't handle the pressure. Now let me tell you something about Sly. First of all, you cannot look her directly in the eye. You cannot speak in her presence. You cannot make jokes about Vess near her. And furthermore, if your cocktail isn't good enough, she will cut it!
Starting point is 00:29:36 Cut it out! Am I right? If it's a load of crap, we'll throw it out! Tumblek-Bow! We've dedicated months and months on this menu. And then he said, We spent a hundred grand, It's been so much time,
Starting point is 00:29:51 At what point do Tom and Tom get to contribute to? Tom Tom. I see it again. Up in light. My name. Tom Tom. I'll add them back in, I'm back in, bro. So Tom's already like, But Lisa, but...
Starting point is 00:30:05 And then Lisa's like, Tom, you're not a mixologist, which is so rude to say to like your partner. She's like, you're not a mixologist. Listen, slide. She's going to teach you things like, cross-utilization. She's going to teach you how to make things today.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Time, hey manna. How to cross-strain your employees. How to check in on this girl's system. Have you... Have you learned about Minila folders? She'll teach you! Business, business. She has Minila folders made out of martini shekas. She is going to serve you up a jargon cocktail made with gross utilization. Now listen, I've always been the type of woman who knows when someone is better than me and knows more than me and I listen to them. Now that hasn't happened yet but I'd like to think I'm that kind of woman now.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Get out. Now be sure to get a haircut. It look pretty improper for Miss Sly. Okay, because she's up there. She's up there. She's amazing. I'm such a sly stan. Oh my god. So then we get Arianna and Lala going horseback riding. And Lala's like, um, I haven't been on the horse in years, so just to be on an animal that beautiful, like, you can feel it breathing. Okay. Now while I don't disagree with this, okay, horse is great and everything, I don't want to watch Lala be peaceful on the horse, okay? Yeah. Is this where I register my complaint to consider it registered? I also, some receive
Starting point is 00:31:41 commercial shut up Lala. You better fight with fight. I also like not here for very simple Obtivations about organisms like you are touching a living thing so you feel it breathes. That's usually what happens Yeah, literally what living things do okay watch enough of them and you'll learn that So I don't know if you noticed that one of the horses totally was bird box bird boxing like it was like It was just that had a full-on thing over its eyes like they had put a band. Like it was like it was just had a full on thing over its eyes. Like they had put a bandana. I was like, oh my god, that horse is being led by Sandra Bullock somewhere. I was like, why did they do that?
Starting point is 00:32:12 And then she walks and she's like, ah. Oh, it's done. It's like, most people, they have to talk the people down. They're like, it's okay. The horse is going to be safe. But with the Vanderpump rules people coming in, they had to like really work with a horse. They're like, you'll be safe.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Just keep rowing horse. Yeah. So then Stasi and Lala are a talk, wait. Oh yeah, no, so the girls are watching them. And Stasi's like, so if that horse up boy or a girl aeth, and Kristen's like, and like puts her head down between the horse's like, so is that horse a boy or a girl aeth? And Kristen's like, ooh, and like puts her head down between the horse's legs. And she's like, well, there seems to be an area that something can like come through.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Right? And she was like, I think we should go back on the lady not shitty area. Pat intended. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa MAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH like, oh, I have to admit something. I'm in a funk and I was like getting ready to make fun. And then Lala said something that I thought was so sad and point and she would basically talk about her dad and she was like, I'm just coming to accept that my dad is a memory and I was like, oh, Waller. Waller, a big hug. So the little button on your remote control that says when sly is about to cry we So I did you can just tell me what happened. Yeah, no, it was just like a nice moment I was like winding up to be snarky and as I was reading my notes
Starting point is 00:33:54 I was like and then a lot of it and saucy are walking around and then suddenly Lala's Having emotional moment better. Okay. I was like so shallow about her dead dad like what are you gonna say like it's so sad But so I press fast forward I'm like, okay. I'm like, oh, I was like so shallow about her dead dad. Like what are you gonna say? Like it's so sad. But so I press fast forward, but then when I turned it back on, Stasi was like, oh my god, she's like sobbing and I was like, what am I watching right now? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Stasi was having a flashback to losing on the Amazing Race Family Edition. She's like, no, not in New Orleans, my whole town. So, so now we go over to the Phoenix, ooh, where Jackson, the Thames are there and Jackson's like not drinking and Tom basically Tom SantaVall is trying to force everyone to drink and no one's drinking with him. He's like, dude, we have to get ready for slides, dude. Yeah, these are like the, these are the friends you're warned of having a where you're like, I'm not drinking today. Yeah, you are. Of course you are. It's bros night, bro, dude, come on. It come on it's a dude of the Bronx and he's like no I'm not gonna drink. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:34:48 I'm not yeah, yeah, here he are. It's a kid of a drink. Jeez Yeah, so Jackson basically asked to talk about slide and Jackson's like um, I have a question like I'm Jackson even I can figure this out that like if you don't have any drinks on the menu What exactly are you guys bringing to Tom Tom and Schwartz goes my story. Just curious. Just curious. Just asking. I could have sworn I heard Tom Schwartz say my soul.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I'm bringing my soul which would explain why sometimes this smells like river water. Yeah, yeah, your pondy soul. Yeah, it's getting a buzz lovely in there. Now there's a cocktail everyone can make. So Tom Tanavolger starts getting himself into a tizzy about the potential of like having all his drinks next by slide. And he's like, oh, like, we have to have a cocktail on there.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Like, if I don't have a cocktail, like, me, and this is like real. Like, this isn't just like vodka, triple second, fresh strawberry, puree, mixed together. And you could just imagine Lisa being like, How dare you! That is a cutting-edge cocktail! It is best served with...
Starting point is 00:35:52 ...tutata! Oh, really? You're speaking to the creator of the Pump Tunis! And both of them... She does this, and there's a clatter of smoke, and she just disappears. He says very defensive about that cocktail. And then Tom never teased like, he could really pull out. And then it's just like, Tom said, Tom, Tom. That's only one Tom, which is me.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Then it's just going to be me. That's going to be called Tom. So I have to find another Tom. Is anyone no Tom's, Salik? Oh, is Tommy a little like I'm sure this time, but
Starting point is 00:36:37 I'm sure it's a pressure I'm sure It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's It's� It's It's It's It's is Anyone know is Tommy tune available. Oh, yes, it's coming to my capray. No time to start a bar Yes, I will come to Mexico Tommy tune What was that you want to our bar called Tom the Wann sure I'm in
Starting point is 00:36:56 Man, you know, it would be great if they got if they just called it. It's about Tom Tom. I'll be happy It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
Starting point is 00:37:27 from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Next, we have another amazing, tricky, monical song. You want to do this together, Ronnie? You do this song?
Starting point is 00:38:17 Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one. I don't play by the rules. I always make theme. Okay. We're doing different versions. I don't play it at all. I don't play by the rules. OK, I always make them. Oh, OK, we're doing different versions.
Starting point is 00:38:28 I don't play the rules. I don't play the rules. But I wrote down all the words because they were pretty exquisite. Go ahead. I want to hear you. I'm just going to, unfortunately, shockingly, the tune is not in my head.
Starting point is 00:38:40 So I sort of have to make up my own tune. But I think it goes, I don't play by the rules. I always make them up I don't play by the rules. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,assy for wearing PJs on the PJ. PJs. I'm like, oh yeah. I love a visual upon. It's like a rebus puzzle. I'm into it. The plane is like, the plane's trapped. We're here. The plane is just like on its side. And like, I don't make up the aviation moves. I have my own So the I don't buckle my seat belt. Oh, I don't buckle my seat but on a PJ on a PJ
Starting point is 00:39:35 I leave my tray down. That's what I do because I'm a wild child tray She knows like I'm a big crazy. I'm only my seat back table down. The land she was like, Oh, oh. She know, why did you leave the tray table down? Because it was a PJ. So the girls, I'm going to work with like a scar,
Starting point is 00:40:03 like a big line from the top from our temple all the way across She looks like a superhero. Oh, she did. Did you get into a knife fight? No, that's right table. I have a Absolute power. You can put your diet coke on my forehead I thought I was golden up to just a folded up half wide. So, um, yeah. So the girls, the girls arrive at, uh, at Sir, and they're like, you know, they're all like, I can't believe we were on a private plane, and now we're back to being waiters. Yeah, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Katie comes in her Sir Restaurant Uniform looking like yesterday, and then, um, while I was like, my brain is fried, and they're just trying to get into it, and Brittany's like, I'm so happy, because I'm just so tired. I heard her. Oh.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Hi. Everything's making me lay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, remember when Jack's had that affair on me, I tell you, Bonnie, you just can't stop giggling. I'm just giggling through the day. Oh. So yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Then the next scene is the resistate Equality California ball over at pump, which is like a Billy Leithing So she's heading up this thing and Lisa's hired James to DJ there and James, you know James just really doesn't know when to quit You know, it's like he's either saw I think he should only be allowed to speak to Guillermo because with Guillermo He's always very apologetic and sobby, but then he gets to lease and he's like, what can't I have my job? Lisa Marlies, huh? It's not fair
Starting point is 00:41:32 You said that you needed to see some tangible proof Lisa. Well, that man. Oh, is that man? What's that mean? I'm gonna drink for five minutes Lisa. I just serve everything. I deserve my job back Lisa Yeah, exactly meanwhile, I also have to say that when Raquel walked in I'm excited to serve everything. I deserve my chalk back Lisa. Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, I also have to say that when Raquel walked in, I'm like concerned. I feel like Raquel is like tied up somewhere. I feel like she'd like walked in through it. She walks in like, oh, the light and just like wanders into some ropes and just tangles herself up. I was like, what's the most important thing about those huge trees on the patio? She's like a stuck in a one of those Christmas sites from Osh. She's like in one of those traps, you know, when you walk over the patch of leaves and then a new
Starting point is 00:42:08 skits your leg and you're dangling upside down. She's like, oh, bear trap if you will. She's in a bear trap. She found a bear trap. They put like a bear trap in pump. There's like one bear trap, but she walked right into it. I've caught dinner. We need the poo trap says CM writer exactly. dinner. We need the poo trap, says CM writer, exactly. We need the poo trap, yeah. So, yeah, so James is talking about, talking to Lisa, he's like, I was at boys not, and I was a good boy Lisa.
Starting point is 00:42:35 I was, I was, I was being so good. I had an honor, Palmer. It was so lovely. I'm good, I'm good. Tendrary evidence. I'm a good boy now. Yeah. And it's like, what do I have to do? I get a tattoo that says I'm good, tangible evidence, I'm a good boy now. Yeah, and he's like, what do I have to do? I get a tattoo that says I'm good Lisa,
Starting point is 00:42:47 and go all out, do a tattoo on my stomach, alright Lisa? And she's like, listen, congratulations on that having a drink between breakfast and now, but I'm still hot, you're James! And he's like, being a little, you know, smart assy with her, which is really not how to get your job back from Lisa. No, that's not how you do it.
Starting point is 00:43:04 And she's like, listen James. You have way bigger problems He's like like what? She's she goes the rest of your life I went to a Tiffany's and guess what there's a photo of you walking in there and they say band band I walked into a Tiffany's and saw a mother teaching her child how to walk. And it's the first time I've ever cried in a Tiffany's. Fix yourself! What your mother neglected to say is that you took your first steps in Tiffany's waffle house.
Starting point is 00:43:35 That's what it was called, for a name. For a name, Tiffany Waffle House. So then Stasi is over at her house with Bo, who's trying to figure out how to use her scooter. And she's just on the couch I'm never buying another pillow again, which I mean I feel like we've all been there Yeah, I'm lucky. I've avoided the leather pillow Like I never got one thankfully because I'm too cheap to buy most pillows because pillows tend to be surprisingly overpriced But yeah leather pillows should all just be burned like what's the point?
Starting point is 00:44:04 What why yeah, they hurt they're. Like, why do we need those? Ties. Like, who needs a tie? What are they good for? What are they good for? So both get out. Yeah. So both, he's Daci lying there with sunglasses on and she's just like, and he's like, wow, you're like the drunk blonde Ray Charles right now, which I felt like wrong for hearing that. I was like, mm-hmm, I don't know why. It just like made my liberal senses go off and we're pleased. Yeah, I think you know you're too liberal when that sets you off, you know. I think he was talking about the dark glasses, okay.
Starting point is 00:44:35 No, I know. I, oh, but I just felt like... I guess after Stasi's history. Yeah, after Stasi's history, measuring a black eye color. So we're still a bit of a rascal, are you sure? Okay, let's leave Ray. Medging of black honor. I'm not a prosecutor so white. Okay, let's leave Ray Charles out of this, people. I just feel like we could have, there were some better, better sunglass options.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Maybe, I don't know who, Rachel Lowe maybe. I don't know. No, Tid. Yeah, I just, I felt weird. I felt like a weird person right now watching it. So anyways, Dossie's like trying to guilt trip him for a really no good reason. She's just like just for sport and just like not working
Starting point is 00:45:08 and she's just like, my bad. Those, they're going, she just like turns transparent and disappears off the couch. I know, he's like, why are you looking at me like, cause she's like, I should be mad at you for hanging out with all those hosts. And he's like, why are you looking at me like that? And she's like, it's an manipulation tactic.
Starting point is 00:45:23 He's like, it's okay. She's like, God damn it. a manipulation tactic. He's like, it's okay. She's like, damn it. She's like, she's just surrounded by bow, kryptonite. It's terrible. Bow. Maybe bow is the problem. Maybe bow is where all the problems started because he's too nice and normal. And he like made Stasi normal. And it's like a top down effect, you know? Yeah, I mean, who the hell cast an emotionally non abusive person? Yeah, who's very friendly. Yeah, not right. So the producers can sense that there's like too much nice, niceness happening.
Starting point is 00:45:52 They're like, okay, you guys are going to go to Christina Kelly's barbecue. Who maybe that'll help, you know? So they start talking about how they're going to be going there and they're talking about the private jet and basically, Stasi's like, yeah, I'm like spoiled. Like a PJ, it was amazing. Like, you know what you can do on a PJ? You can like stand up and like go to the bathroom and then surfact down again and even get like a free beverage.
Starting point is 00:46:15 He's like, you can do that on Delta too. He thinks, do they have videos playing on the back of the seat and she just goes, like, I'm like,... i went you know and he tells us i don't wear pjs on the plane cuz sometimes i get wind boners you know you can't get rid of that you say potato salad potato salad still don't get rid of your boner if that's potato salad you get rid of the boner okay i forgot a boner all
Starting point is 00:46:41 fourth of julya k potato salad is the shit if there's anything that could give me a boner. It's potato salad. Let's be honest. Oh, don't tell me skin on So then we we go over to Baba Baba the Baba House and Schwartz is getting ready for his big meeting with... Sly! And he's trying on different shirts. He's like, oh, Bubba, I want to have a good look. You know, I want to have a look like a young CEO, you know, like Tim Cook. I'm like, Tim Cook is 60 years old.
Starting point is 00:47:20 I think it's Zuckerberg, babe. And she's like, you mean like Charlie Sheen called and he wants a shirt bat. Zang. He's like, oh, I just want to have a look of someone really responsible and really cool and that. Someone everyone looks up to. You know, like a, like a Bob craft, you know? Oh. Even a Bob Villabay. Great. Anything, just anything. And he's like, you know, Tom's real upset about maybe not possibly getting drinks on the
Starting point is 00:47:48 menu. But I'm like, whatever, who cares, out. I fall right down and I stay down again. Because why should anything get me out? You know what I'm saying, babe? She's like, stopping. I drink a cider drink. I drink a cider drink. I drink a whiskey drink. I drink a soda drink. I miss my big
Starting point is 00:48:13 important meeting. I sleep in a river bed. I sleep in a dumpster. I drink another cider drink. I drink another cider drink. The black had peace called they want their lyrics back. How dare you that's Chamba Wamba a Scottish protest band. Oh, there you go. Up next on Watch What Happens. The Pussy Barriott. Do you know that's Chamba Wamba. I actually had that album and they're like really anti-establishment. So when that hit came out and everyone wanted to license it, they were so mad. And I think that a car company, I think it was GM,
Starting point is 00:48:51 or Nike, well Nike's not a car company, but a big company, a big corporation license it. And they took all the money from being in that corporation's corporations commercials. And it donated all that money to a special interest group that fought that corporation Yeah, yeah So now we go over to because I'm gonna totally skip Tom Schwartz's Rudy analogy, because it really bothered me. So we, we got, this is a very triggering episode for you guys.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I'm triggered. You know what triggers me the most? Is that we then go over to Christina Kelly's house, which is in Santa Monica. And like, I'm like, this is the second time we've gone to the West side on Vennipum rules this season. Like, I'm like not down for this. I do not like the West side propaganda. It's pushing on for rules this season like i i'm like not down for this i do not like that the the west side propaganda it's pushing on us in this season okay i know that a lot of people think that that so snobby and i guess that that's true but you have to understand the people on the west side don't want to come over here either they're like fuck that why would we go to that shit hold
Starting point is 00:49:57 that just a scared of us yeah um and it also goes to this episode really prove what we've been saying this whole time because this whole time We're like where's Christina Kelly? We missing that bitch on our tea. I mean that woman is an ice cold monster Okay, I want to see her on my TV. She out too. Why and she we know when seen her guess why Westside Bye, I never gonna see you again Christina Kelly So saucy arrives looking about five years old or cuz it takes that long to get there And so she goes there and she goes Christina they're not many people. I would come out to the West side for but you are a hundred percent
Starting point is 00:50:32 Number one and then they cut to she knew walking like hi There's number 45 over there So Yeah, they're acting all acting like they've done this huge thing, but I come either the West side and they have, they have. You hear, is this for you here, Stasi talking to, uh, no, you hear Jack's talking to the guys and he's like, at one point you hear Jack's talking to the guys. Yeah, it is a little bit later, but yeah, I mean, I hate the West side. Like, I hate coming here, but I do want to get a house and settle down I'm like Jack you're such a fucking moron okay and be
Starting point is 00:51:08 like Santa Monica's the cheap place to live. Yes, it's really expensive over there you dope. Yeah he's like you know to be honest I'm not like a huge fan of the West Side but the Pussy's great over here just I mean magnificent young chicks coming over here thinking this is what L.A. is all about the beach. Oh Never gonna have to worry about getting caught on the west side That's true pretty Drive is like would be driving down like we'll strip a little more. I didn't see the signs for the four of five like So It's like going passing the gates of Mordor.
Starting point is 00:51:45 So, anyway, Katie shows up and then, like, people are showing up and then Chris and Carter show up and when they're pulling up and before they even get out of the car, we just hear them bickering. Chris is like, chill! Just give me a second, okay? I'm trying to think right now, stop being an asshole. Which made me wonder, like, what was she thinking about? Was she having like a beautiful mind moment but it's like a
Starting point is 00:52:05 Really sad beautiful mind moment where she's like at the at the board and there's like one digit and then like a smiley face Not even like a percentage or a division. She's like three emoji Four I bet that every time Christian thinks of number it is it numbers It is a beautiful mind moment because it's just numbers flying all around like. Oh, it's like a whirlwind of numbers like in that movie. She's like secretly a math genius, but she's so annoyed by the numbers flying into her brain that she just swathed them all away and gets drunk and said,
Starting point is 00:52:38 so beautiful mine. She can take 20% of anything. You know, it's like, wait, or wait a beautiful mine. So they, yeah, they're already bickering. And now all the girls have told her that they're totally anti-carder. So Kristen has to come in and be totally anti-carder to like get the girls. Yeah. What they want, which is really funny because she's sure to have conversations where she's sure the girls will hear her standing up for herself. I'm like, oh, yeah, exactly. So she's like, she's
Starting point is 00:53:04 like, Carter, I'm in Santa Monica and I'm trying to be Santa's fuck. I'm like, oh, yeah, exactly. So she's like, she's like, Carter, I'm in Santa Monica, and I'm trying to be Zana's fuck. I'm like, first of all, no one has ever Zana when they arrive in Santa Monica, because they just have to get to Santa Monica, and they're the opposite of Zana, okay? And then Carter, Carter's like, you're not very happy. And she's like, yeah, well, you bark at me, and you raise your voice, and you cuss. Like cuss. It's like it's Kristen suddenly from like the beautiful state of Oklahoma. They are Oklahoma redemption moment after Friday. I've sat and you know it's like you'll just sit there and then you'll like tell me things
Starting point is 00:53:37 you don't like about me. And he's like, um babe the first thing you do when you come home is bitch at me for 30 minutes about whatever, whatever your day was. I mean, first of all, that's kind of what happens in a couple. How are you? My day sucks. And then you, yeah, it's part of the point. That's the fun. It's having someone to bitch to.
Starting point is 00:53:54 And then they're like, yeah, they make you feel better than they bitch. And you're like, wait, no, I'm not done with my bitching. So then you bitch some more, you know? That's what it's about. And then Katie, who totally has a life of her own is behind them like she has like found a ladle she's found a ladle and is like grabbing the ranch out of the bowl yeah she's totally just like reaching across to get her head in the shot And this is like I'm confused cuz like she said everything with Carter was like totally fine, so So Kristen's like um quarter. It's like it's always like your way or the highway and that's like not how it works
Starting point is 00:54:43 Especially when I'm running most of this shit. Yeah, including the highways. I just got hired to run the highways in Los Angeles, okay Yeah, so he's a photographer assistant and the rest of the time I pay you know and as much as I say I love him Like I love the drive which I guess she's saying that he has drive to be more than a photographer's assistant I'm not really sure what she's saying. She's saying that as hot as she thinks that he is She's attracted to drive more than physical beauty. And so, you know, as evidence by her previous relationship with James and of course that affair with Jack's the most driven of the server-waters who turned down a job at the Tampa Bay Local hockey team social media office because he had so much stuff haven't been informed of
Starting point is 00:55:33 Worked-read it or Existed so Brittany and Jackson Lollar outside and yeah, wait right before sorry for that though Kristen is like oh quarter. They're talking about like, I wanna go straight along, I can't live in circles, which is funny because I always imagine Kristen walking in circles until someone like, shoves her and she's like, oh, okay. And then-
Starting point is 00:55:54 I think she's one of those toys, you know, there's like a little plastic thing and you put the pin and you start making circles, but it goes all over the place and makes like, oh, oh, oh, and then you have like a dark polygram shape or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah, gyros, gyro something and other.
Starting point is 00:56:09 I loved, loved, loved those. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you're just, she's making, she's making a circle, but she's really just like, oh, oh, it's like making like a bunch of us. I think that she's just like a, She's just like a shitty shopping cart. One wheel is busted, and if you just let it go, it's just like... Ugh! Just crashing to the side.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Ugh! So make that noise, and it crashes. And you have to write it. And entire time you're like, this is supposed to be my fun time shopping. And instead, I'm like this. And you're like, do I get rid of this cart? But that means I have to get rid of... All that I've invested in this, and you're like, do I get rid of this car, but that means I have to get rid of all the all that I've invested in this car with all these groceries. I've got to, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. So I'm just going to live with it.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Wow. Okay. So, um, I start talking about therapy. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I'm like going to therapy two times a month. I'm like, really helping anything. and cardicus Oh, yeah, well, he's mostly on my side you might notice Chris is like what the Sunning for therapy is I'm like hearing that that's how you think therapy is like winning points and stuff That's like showing me your brain right now And he's like just saying Yeah, he says more to you I'm I'm just saying he's literally on my side. We play video games together and we're on a squad. We're in League of League of League of Legends and I think this year's gonna be the year where I become pro. She's like oh
Starting point is 00:57:35 Also, Spyro graph. Spyro. Oh, thank you Spyro graph. Thank you. God that sounds like such a difficult word for children That's why we ever remembered it. Yeah, so yes, naturally. So this is when Jack arrives, which we already discussed, and then Lala shows up too, and she's like, excuse me, Kiki, Pupu, Kestinai, Kototo, Shishi, um, I think I need some, you know, Vivi, I need some Vivi, okay. And they're like, what? What? They're like so furious that she was sober during all of the girl's trip. And then now she comes to the West side and wants to drink. They're like, we don't even understand this.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah. And she was like, I don't know what I'm like. I'm feeling like maybe things are not great. Lola, lola, lola, lola. There I am. So the so lola is like, yeah, I just, you know, I'm not feeling like myself, you know, this non-drinking thing. I'm not feeling like myself.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I was like, oh, so you have an official problem then. Great. You're only yourself when you're drunk. Okay, got it. That means sounds right to me. And then Kristen's like, this cheese is like sweet. You agree with me on that one therapist? Hey therapist. Isn't this sweet?
Starting point is 00:58:46 Yeah, point for Kristen, Jim Kristen. So then Ariana and Katie are talking. It's the first wives of the new Tom Tom Club. And Ariana's like, wow, the guys are like totally doing drinks right now. Katie's like, yeah, like, have you heard from them today? Cause like Tom is really excited. And they're basically all talking about how they're gonna re-dow if they don't at least get one drink on the menu.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Yeah, and everyone's like, yeah, they're like coming up with some really cool stuff and it's like a flashback of the apartment in the fall. It's like, dude, I'm in the ice cube, dude. Drink from, dude, dude. It's a symbol, it's a symbol ice cube simple so ice cube of life ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The Frozen Shot tonight. Ah! I saw the line, well I didn't see it, but I was, I had the Oscars on in the background and I heard Aaaaaaah! LEMMAMAMAMAMAM! And I was like, oh the line king, they were probably playing like, I don't know what went in the
Starting point is 00:59:54 past or whatever, and I wasn't watching it, but then I turned to the TV and it was like the live action! The line king come out! Please send me an info, Amanda from actually the commercial Directed by slide is there nothing she cannot do So I also have to point out that Katie she has like I think she found some like Forgotten props from the movie labyrinth and like attached into her ears They're like these knockers with her earrings were like knockers with like the looops and everything Which is pretty cool, but they were so heavy her port ears were
Starting point is 01:00:27 totally being dragged down to the floor am I Katie save your love save your love over at Tom Tom Vanderpump's talking to slide I got a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of talking to my aunt Josie otherwise known as slide and if you misbehaved you'll I got my loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa loppa I feel like she was in a best. That's what my memory was, but so slides they're like, yeah, I'm a maxologist and then Pandora is like next to her and Pandora is like in like a little shawl. She's Pandora looks like she just stepped out of a Brenda Blath in a movie. She's like Hello?
Starting point is 01:01:13 Hi, I'm your daughter. I'm your daughter. I'm your daughter. Remember me? I'm your daughter. I'm a stemless. Oh he could not be possible that you're my daughter. I'm a daughter. Oh yeah Then Brenda Blathen just turns away from Pandora and she's not going So slide the button hanging out the other end of the bar. Is that your moment with Pando? So Slime, I don't know if she's in witness protection or she's really that much of a lesbian, but she's like full on the grunts. And I was like, I don't believe you, lady.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I think that you're making things up because her name is Slime Cosmopolitas. And I'm like, no, ma'am. Okay. You're not going to like your own quiz on a drink to name yourself and your last name. What is your real name? What do you really look like and where are you from? Joanne Schwartz. So, really my name is Joanne Schwartz. I'm from North Bergen and you know what I really enjoy a beverage but I had to rebrand myself is slug god bless so the times arrived Ronnie Ronnie had to pick up something from the floor I was scary for a moment but
Starting point is 01:02:40 then I remembered that he's basically the slide. A podcasting. I made you think I was gone but then I returned to slide little one. Or little voice. I like him. We mix two different Brenda Bluff and movies together by the way we put little voice, antics and lies together. Yeah, why not? They're all the same pretty much.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Secretly they're both slides down. They're all the same pretty much. So... So... I'm sorry, Pandora. I can't possibly be a mother. I'm sorry, I'm so cut. Okay. So... So the Tom's arrived. And this is like, Guys, it's very important that you watch and listen
Starting point is 01:03:20 and learn from the best! The best! Oh god! I mean, this watching slide, worker magic, makes me think that having a drink on the menu is just a dream of sliding away, bro. She puts the slide in sliding away, dreams, too. And they don't give them the news right away, which is funny. Like Vanderpump really puts them through pain. She's like, slide, do your tricks. And it's like, well, we got some simple things here.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Sometimes you just gotta do a vibe, get on it, and then put some purple champagne on top, and boom, it's different. And they're just, oh, God. Yeah, we're here of cross materialization. Yeah. What was they cross? Something another? Cross utilization. Cross utilization. This is like what sliders is a lot more complex than making just a beautiful cocktail. She So she makes it cost effective and learns how to use multiple ingredients
Starting point is 01:04:27 In one tree one drink multiple ingredients multiple ingredients one tree cross utilization Listen you to pip squeaks all right. I don't care you put a pepper and a habanero and a cricket leg and some Cermet whiskers and some unicorn dust and you reduce it down to some seam and I jerk myself off into it too. Still doesn't not as good as a whiskey sour with a little bit of kosher salt in it. Am I right everyone? Hit it with the kosher salt just in, right? Does anyone even really know what unicorn twat is? No, then why are we serving it? Am I right? Frozen shot machine. Frozen shot machine. How about a frozen up my ass machine? That's stupid. How about this? We take a margarita and throw into some piece of dill and say,
Starting point is 01:05:16 guess what? It's a dill margarita from the Scandinavians. Oh, so, uh, she's, uh, Vanderpump's like, so, did you like any of their cocktails? And she goes, am I tied to a lie detector? Do I have to be honest about this? Because guess what? I got some brutal honesty coming your way. You better crank out that ice machine because this is going to be some sly realness on ice, okay? Here's what I got to say
Starting point is 01:05:47 Kind of made it through they're pretty good yeah pretty good guy like ten of them so good job boys good job I had a little few tweaks I was like you know what in your martini mommy I had some vermuth I don't know something crazy out of box sorry trick you but I wanted to sexually ambiguous guys tears to finish off this martini got that ingredient all right got ten of them on there I'm gonna charge twenty thousand dollars for this day and I've given you nothing all right just use less straws about that meanwhile in the background Pandora like whatever the mood is of the music Pandora's name again so the music is like dun dun dun dun Pandora's like oh the music like good
Starting point is 01:06:20 she's like ah you just like who oh and then Pandora's hot husband is just like giving the big smile the whole time another thing that they did not add in this season which I was really hoping that they were gonna add is stuff that we've seen on Instagram with Pandora and the Tom's getting super bitchy with each other because apparently she created a bunch of those drinks too Because remember when Vanderbump is like Pandora has been creating drinks this is
Starting point is 01:06:49 Because you have not turned in your list and apparently she did create a bunch of them So I was hoping to see that drama on on the camera But that would explain that one cocktail on their menu that's called Brenda Blethens really my mother I was like that's such a specific name for a cocktail. I was like, oh, and then I ordered it because I mean, how do you not order the Brenda Blethan as my mother? I always said one of my children was adopted. Everyone assumed it was Maxwell. Just because you put your child through the metal detector slide, he slide at the airport, doesn't mean that he's adopted. So, Sandivall is so excited that there are cocktails, like so many of them made it through.
Starting point is 01:07:28 He's like, oh my god, dude, that's so great, I had no idea. That would be like, one, but it was like 10, oh my god, dude. No amies, no amies, dude. And Vanderpromp's like, I love to see Tom and Tom winning Which is why I set up almost impossible situations that I rig the outcome of Thank you for watching Don't you agree Pandora my renal daughter? She's like
Starting point is 01:07:57 I don't want you to see my daughter I never been back away I don't want you to see my bad. You're not gonna be able to see my bad. You're not gonna see my bad. I haven't been back too late. I had a daughter with a bartender and I don't make sense now. Yes, do you want to come meet your father now? You know. I don't know what he is.
Starting point is 01:08:18 You know that 98% of our audio-sistering right now is who the fuck is Brenda Blathen, okay? Listen, you didn't know who Paddy's a phone was either Google it. You'll thank me later, okay? I'll take your think you cheesecake in our PO box You know, and if you know it's good for you, you're gonna go Just say a thank you cheesecake You know, I still want my carny Wilson mini cheesecake because So feel free to send those to our box also
Starting point is 01:08:43 And by the way secrets and lies start there at that movie is just devastating Little voice I thought was a better movie. I loved little release Yeah, I was a bridge of blood and also in Billy Elliot or was that somebody else? She probably is she always is a working class mom with the son as dream or child who has dreams And then she has dashed dreams and she cries midway through Hmm. I love just like the white British Viola Davis. There's always like tears and stuff For some reason I feel better about have a good shaky face cry like She always has a choice has a crying denial, you know like I'm so love
Starting point is 01:09:24 I don't know what you're talking about You must be mistaken. I'm gonna cry now look at the wall. I like when violet Davis shakes her eyes and then tears start to come down the middle There was a seed and I planted that seed and that seed is long dead now. That was my version of fences We so are the only job in the world that knows what it's like to be a human or something than whatever it feels like. How? We get to away. With a cocktail at TomTom.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Oh my god, we're officially loopy. Sorry everybody. Okay, so let's get back to Casey, Brittany and Laura! Sitting on a couch inside, talking about their fevees, been ticked away. Yes, so Lala is like, okay, excuse, excuse, let's go to the couch cause I wanna talk about my futilings and she's like,
Starting point is 01:10:19 Rand and I were like not the same. Like, it's not the same anymore. Like, I gave up alcohol for him, and I were like not the same like It's not the same anymore like I gave up alcohol from And I come home and like He's doing he's like partying like I've never been seen but you didn't even remember my name He was going like Gaga and I'm like no la la Like fuck that skis. You he just kept singing shallow with me. I was like, um, I give a plan for you on a wine trap.
Starting point is 01:10:49 And he gets waste. That doesn't work for Lala, okay? Doesn't work for Lala. Okay, he goes, oh my god, you're drinking. I'm just like, yeah, okay, like he had partied to the point. He didn't even know what he was saying. Slurring his words. That doesn't work for a lot.
Starting point is 01:11:07 He's your cross. I'm sorry. I'm just reaching for this dip over here. Keep talking. Keep talking. So she's like, yeah, she's making this big deal. Like she's quit drinking for years, you know? She's like, I can't believe my husband fell off the way. It's like, sit and Nancy if they had ever made it. I know, but I would be pissed off too if I went on a wine trip and I was good because my man said don't drink anymore because you're terrible when you drink and I'm gonna not drink in solidarity and then I came home and then he was way said I'd be like
Starting point is 01:11:36 fuck you I just went on a wine trip and get the drink to wine but he's not drinking around her doesn't that count she's the one who gets mad when she's angry she's the one who gets mad when she's angry. She's the one who gets mad when she's angry. I like that. So that one, she's not what she's saying, that she's getting drunk and she's getting so angry, because she's emotional about her dad, so she's always screaming in the yelling at Rand. Yeah. So then she's like, so Rand said that like, I've been unloving and harsh the past week, and we're on a break, you know, and so Yeah, are we getting to Disneyland?
Starting point is 01:12:10 Did you even think about me in those breakups? Like, did we just forget about our trip to the cabs on outlets? Yeah, is this a temporary breakup because I'm totally not going to be sitting next to you right now. This is Yeah, like when is the PJ coming back in the picture because I may have to recalibrate my friend group. Sorry Yeah, who gets custody of the PJ Yeah, and so then apparently there was this moment where brand She lola goes He kept my Gucci slides. Yeah, he like took them from me.
Starting point is 01:12:45 I was like, I want you to remember, which I don't even know what that means. Did he like take her shoes and then was like, see you know what her badass shoes? And he's like, oh, I want you to remember what it was like having these Gucci slides without me. He's basically like, oh, remember what you're missing, bitch, which is the shoes.
Starting point is 01:13:01 You know, what's he gonna do? Lift up so his six back. Remember me. Yeah. He's like, you're gonna miss the shoes. What's he gonna do? Lift up so it's 6 back. Remember me? Yeah. He's gonna miss these shoes. A lot of like, yeah, she's like whatever. Like, he was paying for my rent, but I can be for my rent. And I can drive my own car.
Starting point is 01:13:13 And like, that's no big deal. Like, okay, so like, maybe the only difference is that there'll be like no private plane to make a nose. But guess what, honey, there's a lot of dick out there for me to suck to get on a private jet. I'm pretty good. Well, that probably wouldn't have been There's a lot of dick out there for me to suck to get on a private jet Pretty goes well that probably wouldn't have been where my hands happened at least law laws optimistic And then we got a midseason trailer of the rest of this season on then to put rules Are they doing another 24 episode season?
Starting point is 01:13:45 Probably but if it's any consolation that midseason trailer was really good. It was, yeah, it was pretty good. A lot of yelling at people. So that's all we need. We just need them to yell at each other. That's all. Yeah, if we just need a little good yelling and cheating and Jack's can yell that for something. So I'm in.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Oh, and some yells at Katie and tells her she's a bully, which I fucking love. And then she's like pretending to cry outside Great so we need so everybody. Thank you so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow Well the next day with Housewives of what did you hurt me so you can find tickets for our live shows coming up in Cincinnati day-time show get there Saturday March Our live shows coming up in Cincinnati, day time show, get there Saturday, March 7th, but weekend. No, the next weekend. It's like March.
Starting point is 01:14:28 No, it's after, because our, our, our, our, our, our South by Southwest is March 12th, so it's the Saturday after that. So it's around like March. Yes, around March 12th. So I don't know. Something like that. I could look at it. You know what we don't know, but the way you can know is go to watch what crapens.com.
Starting point is 01:14:41 Okay. Yeah. That's where it is. Get your way on stuff, your leggings, your shirt, etc. And if you miss this on TV party, hi TV party, if you miss this on there, go find it on crapens on demand on our Patreon. Okay, that's also where we do our Google hangouts every month
Starting point is 01:14:58 and we will be doing that this Thursday at 6 p.m. Pacific time. Basically, you come on there and we all party together on Google Hangouts. We'll need a Gmail address, be a Patreon member, and you'll need some earbuds. Earbuds are a sense. A sense. So get over there. We sure love you guys.
Starting point is 01:15:15 Thank you for everything you do for us. We love you. We'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone! Hey, prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. at 1dry.com slash survey.

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