Watch What Crappens - Relationshep: A Shep In Every Port

Episode Date: December 14, 2017

Shep is looking for love, but the prospects are not amazing. Come join us for our recap of "Relationshep See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ranchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapans.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over

at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from visa blog.com and the Bander Blender podcast and joining me as usual on his cross country tour for love is Ronnie Kerr from trash talk TV.com and there was Prick's bachelor podcast.

What's up Ronnie? I found love in a water bug. Ben. Oh, you're so lucky. I'm ready to meet Shep's parents, okay? I think I finally earned it. Yeah, we are here today to talk relationship because why not? Why not talk about relationship? It's a new show. But before getting into that, we hope that you guys all develop a very warm relationship with the box office of the various venues at which we will be playing. We have shows, two shows in Chicago, we have a Boston show, we have a Detroit show, we have a Houston show, those tickets are

all on sale. DC is sold out. New York is sold out. One of the Boston shows is sold out. Chicago is actually down to I think 30 or 40 tickets to five. I remember the tally correctly. So Chicago, at least the earliest show is. So Chicago is about to sell at the first show and then I don't know where it's out for the second show, but that one's also closing in, circling the drain. So people, if you want to see us circling the drain, that's not a very nice way to put it. But we're watching crap ends. It's within the, it's, it works with our universe. Okay, I'm back. I'm back with you. I'm back. Listen, dear, you hurt my wonderful shows.

Yeah. And we are working on some other cities and dates, et cetera. So everyone always say a tune for that. But for right now, this is what we have. We have like nine shows. And we want to get a whole bunch of sellouts because we just want to impress people. We are insecure. We're insecure with our place in the world. And we feel like we can only prove ourselves by selling out venues. So that's really what it comes down to. And it's hard. Yeah. So

do it. We just want to be loved. So we get to hug and we get to get all our sweat all over you after the show. Yeah. I'm a big sweaty monster after those shows. Have so much fun. We're going to be doing those all year. So I'm very excited. And I'm also laying around a lot in December. Because in January, it starts and it never stops. So I'm really enjoying my bed, my friends. My friends, I mean, Pueola, my new body pillow, and I'm drinking some enjoying vodka, like to think my uncle Tito for being so good to me. Marijuana, thanks for that. And cigarettes.

And I hate it. I really appreciate your Academy Award speech. It is December. The Golden Crappies are around the corner, but we're going to be doing them a little differently this year. Stay tuned for details on that. I'll give you a hint. It involves tuxedos. A bunch of cats named tuxedos. That's that, that's that, that's that. A bunch of cats named Tuxedo. Tuxedo, the cat.

Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Annabelle Annabelle Desistos Cat, Tuxedo. Oh, is her cat named Tuxedo? I think it's something like that. It's like Mr. Tuxedo or Tuxedo or Tux Tux or Cat Cat. Little Cat. It's a black and white cat that looks like it.

I think it's Tuxedo. Any number two that involves cats and will be singing memory yeah involves anabel to sister singing memory and it out that's how and i will be on golden crappies and she is going to sing memory and she's going to float off into the ceiling of the podcast and i will be signing autographs in her mission dresses and about the system in her mission, dresses you a lot of it. Annabelle Desisto in her Patricia Cafften rising up to stage on a giant tire.

It's actually my preferred way of getting around Los Angeles floating on a giant tire with smoke underneath. And Annabelle, I hope you're listening because we just put you as a presenter on a tire of something with your cats Which I might not know is name, but we're in and you're in we're all in it the Annabelle system power our Featuring the cats experience Okay, well, we're in our crazy space, but the point is this golden crappy is stay tuned We're gonna do something really fun this year for it and I'm We can't announce just yet, but I think you're gonna probably put two and two together two cats and two cats two angeloid weppers together No one Megan Granger short of a proper idea of what's gonna happen

Okay, everybody so now welcome to relationship Relationship relationship relationship that's what I said said I know I'm just having to make um every time you say relationship kind of released Relationship relationship This is about that wrong. I saw relationship Have you ever been on a ship of relations So I remember that's me so six months ago I want a ship a relations and we

sell to I love man. That's my it's my device. I'm so macy. We are not making any sense. Okay, this we were officially not making sense. I'm feel like everything I know that I love man I learned from House Hunters International and that's not even a lie There's an episode that took place there and I it was awful. It was an awful episode. So anyway

Yeah, cuz normally today, you know We like below deck is having a reunion whatever, but we decide you know what? Real house is a Beverly Hills comes back next week and it to get, we'll be covering it on Wednesdays. So before that juggernaut, sorry, Stasi, drops into our schedule. We figured let's just give some time to relationship for a second. So we need to.

Yeah, guys, let's give it some time to relationships as Chef does to his relationship. One hour. Yes, exactly. 40 minutes if you fast forward through commercials. So did you watch the first episode, or did you just dive into the second one here? I did not watch the first because I didn't have to.

And I was like, why would I do that? Like, I didn't get an extra credit. I'll watch the previous least. Yeah, I watched the first episode. I watched the big fan of the previous lease. Yeah, I watched the first episode. I wasn't a big fan of the first episode. I like the second episode a little bit more. But the first episode, he was like, Gars and the girlfriend, Gars, I'm going to LA, Gars, I'm going to eat a grub, Gars, where's Betty? Gars.

I love that Cameron is still the narrator of this show. I'd like to see us on Southern Charm. Yeah. Because she's like, Previously on Relationship. I love that Cameron is still the narrator of this show like she is on Southern charm because she's like previously on Relationship. Relationship is an idiot. He tried to find a girl with that one was a slut. Then he went to Los Angeles or as we'd like to call it, Lies and because they have a lot of improv there and lie a lot. In the end, people did irresponsible things that I don't approve of. Also, I'm pregnant. My boobs are leaking. Thank you for watching.

Well, we're all caught up. Thanks. Yeah. So, um, so this episode opens up with Chef in Texas. And you can tell the editors are just bored with the show because they're not even bothered in putting on the proper titles. They're like, chefs, last, the car run says chefs last night in Austin to open up the show. I'm like, aren't we in Dallas? Are you in any way to get attention back there? Oh, geez. Well, I'm still in Texas. So my mother was watching behind me while she played Canasta.

And so I had to listen to her abusing this show. And she's like, did they just say Austin or Dallas? Are they even paying the fuck attention? God, no, I get why no one would want to watch these shows. But is anybody actually producing them? Who typed that? Like she was furious. I swear to you for the whole attention. God, no, I get why no one would want to watch these shows. But is anybody actually producing them? Who typed that? Like she was furious. I swear to you for the whole hour.

She was like, but are you going to say something about them writing the wrong town down? I was like, yes, mom. That's so funny. Because I totally know that too. Because I was, you know, I was like, okay, last night in Austin. Okay. I was like, wait a second. I'm like, I'm excited.

I'm like, look, parents, it's an Austin show. And then it wasn't even. I'm like, I'm lost. It comes by, banging on a trolley like, oh, shit. Sheps like, I'm a corny kid. Play games with me. You're going to pay. Gosh. Gosh. I'm up with my hands. Gosh. They're just hands, but they work quite good. It's like you make every line sound really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Mark gets his dick sucked at the roundup.

I know the guys you did it, gosh. And they're really talented, so we should all give them some respect, okay, gosh. So at the beginning of the show, when they were doing the previously, they showed Seth going, well, my parents have been together a long time. My parents are really something to aspire to, and they showed a picture of his parents when they were young. Seth's father looks like he got hit in the face with a pan after doing heroin and smoking goods away.

That guy looks so dazed and confused. I was like, that's what happened to you. Your parents were just a couple of drug addicts. So they dropped you out in the middle of a library somewhere, so you think you were smart. Yeah, exactly. Definitely a little lit, as they would say. And so this episode begins with Shep.

He's taking a bubble bath in Texas. And he calls up. He's FaceTime's his friend Clay and this is the way the conversation starts They just laugh. They just laugh at each other He's like a bubble bath bro. Yeah, I'm in a bubble bath. Oh, you're in a bubble bath, bro. Yeah, it's a bath So gone take me away gosh I wish I had a girl as good as gal gone I could take I could sure take her home

to my mom. Like he's to obsessed with his parents thing. And then every time they cut back to his parents, his mom's like, well, he'll shape, aren't you cute? Yeah. Like, why do we need to see them? He's acting like they're the head of the Rothschild family. Yeah. So, um, oh, wait, so sorry, Ben, I have to do this though, because we're only talking about it one time. I wrote down the theme song. Do you want to hear it? Oh, yes, um, oh wait, oh, so sorry, Ben, I have to do this though because we're only talking about it one time I wrote down the theme song. Do you want to hear it? Oh, yes, please. Yes, it goes. Oh, oh, oh, oh The end look wow they really they're pulling up the stops for this all the stops. They got a Session musician from fallout boy to do that one musician from Fallout Boy to do that one.

Relationship. Yeah, relationship. Arrow going through it like you, so Clay is going to set, ship up with the lady and they're going to go on a double date. So he's like, Garge, double Garge, yes. So he's on his way and one of the way, what's,

the way the show works is that His producer Sarah also plays a role on the show. It's kind of cool. It's like this breaking the fourth wall thing a little bit where you it's like You know we're like like we get to see the producer has an active role. We see her on camera. So they are taking Taking like an uber or something an SUV to this date and he's just talking to her and saying, gosh, I just didn't want to do a bunch of candlelight dates and corner, you know, like it's a same old conversation, same old situation, same old gars, gars, yes, gars, no, gars, this, gars, what's your favorite gars? Yeah. Hey, what's your gars? I'm a Virgo.

Gars. And he's, so she's going to say, she's like, I'm sharp. I'm going to set you up with this girl. And she lives with her best friend. She's a wild one. And Sharp can't stop touching his face. There's something weird with, you know, because Sharp has gotten a little weirder over the years

as we've watched Southern charm. Like, his face has gotten a little weirder over the years, as we've watched Southern charm. Like his face has gotten a little bit like, not methy. I don't want to say methy, because that's like accusatory, and I don't mean it to be that way, but pimply or dry, or there's something weird going on, like tired, I don't know, there's something there. But on this show, you're really seeing a lot of

certain, whether, whether, yeah, that's good. Yeah, he's basically like my best But after four years in the rain, okay, but he um, and you know like the wheels are too small like I'm too big for it You know the whole thing we can go down that path But yeah, he's getting getting a little weirder, but now we're seeing on this show that's all his all of his little ticks Like he's touching his face and like pulling it his own hair and then like scratching behind his ears and Yeah, I don't know if it's like early onset, you know Ronald Reagan or what but there's something weird going on Garsh is just that ever since I heard that song by the weekend. I'm just like gosh

I can't feel my face and I want to Is my face still there? Garsh. I thought this was a dream. Garsh I thought this was a dream. Gosh. So he's- Only in my dreams, gosh. Get out of my dreams and into my Uber, okay? Gosh. Gosh.

You can get into my car. You can get into my mom. You can get out of my dreams and into my mom's car. You see a proof of you, okay, gosh. I got a fast, gosh. He's got a job. I just got to the store. Hey, you want to go see the movie gosh?

Cars it's like just a bunch of garches talking to themselves talking to each other Katie is her is a Katie or Sarah so Sarah is the producer and basically they arrive at Topgolf where they run into they meet up with ship's friend Ray producer and basically they arrive at top golf where they run into the meetup with chefs friend Ray. They met at basketball camp when they were in fourth grade or something and Alabama basketball camp which is also in the news today so blame shit. Well actually was in the news yesterday and can you believe that election and what happened huh? Anyway so, so Katie... Oh my God, we totally were tricking them up until you said that and told my message to all of... Oh, well, everyone knows that we record this on Wednesdays

and not on Tuesdays. We never lie on our eye cow. Yeah, you know, but seriously, that election when that thing happened, and I was like, Anderson Cooper has to calm down, and then he was like, what? And I was like, well, what a world we live in in right. Oh gosh. Remember when it was okay to hit on 13-year-olds. When did the world change? Speaking of let's go see what chefs

dating. It's like some 13-year-olds from Alabama. It's like wait a minute. So the chef, Shep and Ray are on a double date with Katie and Summer. Well, actually Shep is with Summer and Ray is with Katie. And they are so Texas. I mean, like the big hair, the make, I mean, their makeup, their makeup was like put on with a spatula, I think. I mean, it was like the spattied daddy and this has been called into service.

Like this is what Shark Tank was made for. It was like somehow plastering just all this makeup on these ladies faces It looks like Bob Ross. It's not fair. Okay, it's my Bob Ross Bob Ross is summer Summer just has a stream running down her face He lives right there Well, look it looks like some swatchesches whoop with one brown mine it's a tree it's a tree. Some are like thank you she can finally speak now that they

given her a creek to speak out of. She's a bit of a bird. So, yeah, the girl like not to paint you, not to meet you. These girls, they're not Texas, they're ho. Okay, these are, this is some straight up up. It's like those American girl dolls. They can say the American girl dolls from Texas. It's the same damn doll with some bangs, you know what I mean? Well, these girls are just as they're, they have such strong necks. That summer girl especially had about 30 pounds of weave on. You know summer, yeah, here, this is just some advice to you summer.

When Kim Zolciak is your fashion inspiration, it's time to rethink certain life goals. Also, summer is like too hot. Why don't people name their children spring? It's like just hot enough, you know. They do. I've never heard everything they've spring then and spring summer autumn winter

yeah i've heard of autumn i haven't heard of the winter oh i know winter is coming winter is coming i know winter it's only one of our one of our listeners in winter with a why oops are well it doesn't count because it's with the why. It's kind of like, she's like, so my gosh, I've never dated a girl like that. She's like Laura Croft golf freighter. Oh, get it. Little bit like top golf golf. Look, can we do that again? She's like Laura Croft golf golf freighter. I messed it up again. Can we again no shut so so top offer thirty minutes ago

so Katie it turns out is an unmitigated disaster she's just awful and annoying and she's just also one of those girls that loves doing the super girly things she's like do they have pink balls and then she's like and then do this maybe that was summer who did that was the old I think it was actually summer she's like I don't know how to do this. Oh, maybe that was Summer who did that, but it was the old, I think it was actually Summer.

She's like, I don't know how to hit the ball. Can you show me? And so he gets, of course, all around her and everything. It's like, gosh, just taking you, hit it just like that. See, gosh for. Oh, gosh, yeah, he takes it all seriously. He's like, your hands need to be connected. It's like Shakespeare said a tree in a river runs through the but thy hand and golf a pick. And she's like, oh my god, that's so smart.

Yeah. And then chef explains why he's so romantic about golf. He's like, I grew up with a golf course in the backyard. And my grandfather was like a golf, he golf champion championig golfing, M-A-A golf golf. And so I got to be with a girl who knows how to act and how to dress in a country club setting. Which is what an ass. It's so pretentious, but I mean I do appreciate the honesty of it. You know, like one thing I've always liked about Shep is that he is just like a rich

kid and he doesn't He doesn't shy away from it. He's like, yeah, I need someone to be able to come to the club with me You know, it's like I mean I can't get mad at him. I can't get mad at him It's like my gut is to be like oh my god. What an elitist then Parmin's like well, that's just he knows who he is As opposed to those people that are like I believe love is love and I don't care if you're richer or poor But secretly they do care, you know? I just hate people who don't want to embarrass their mom at the golf club. Like, you're supposed to be embarrassing your mother.

It's called becoming your own person, you know, stopping such a pussy row by a little country club, bag it. You know, that's what I was broke up. I rebel. I rebel. I know what it's like. And I rebel. I was still with colorless shirts to the country club and you can suck a dick. Well you may be more of the summer Katie type

then. Well summer I mean Katie is like me out me out I don't know where she worked that probably cat like a literal cat but all she does is say me out she's like oh my god golf me out. Well one like, oh my God, golf me out. Well, one thing that was funny was like the day was the double day it was sort of like going along more or less nicely. And then at one point, summer hit a golf ball and Kitty goes, you go girl. And then the music was like boom. And she up looks over angrily. It was like, what? What's wrong? I didn't get it. But it was like sort of like a subtle implication that like you don't say you go girl at a country club.

Can I ask a question? Did you just say the word faggot? Because that is disgusting. And this show is not built on that. So I would like you to apologize. I will not take your gas lighting. Okay. You were the one who said it.

You guys, I got so mad at Shep, I used the F word. I'm so sorry i don't have to be club baggie to baritas out there didn't mean it i felt the guilt like two minutes later sorry did you hear me oh whoa oh i did but i felt like it didn't matter when you called straight people that at the time but then i realized later it didn't feel good later okay i'm sorry that ronnie is actually she r... Ronnie is the one who's like, I can't believe he would say he doesn't want someone who might embarrass him in public

while he is. That's weird, man. I was like, I think you're... Man, I've been more at fault here. Yeah, seeing I found Ben. So you see, I have to have patience for others. It's okay, right? Guys, if it makes you feel better, I'll never take you to the country club.

Oh, that's so... That's so relation-bed of you. It's okay. Guys, if it makes you feel better, I'll never take you to the country club. Oh, that's so, that's so relation-ben of you. No, because I know you would hate it. You would hate it. Such a good band relationship. Also, I've always been a member. I've always been a member of the country club. So suck it. Okay. And everyone from the El Paso Country Club, you remember me. Don't pretend you don't.'t that funny i'm not in the i'm not in a country club and i've never been part of a country club and yet i empathize with chef sentiment but you're the one who actually is in a country club and you have to want to know what it's like to be i know what it's like to be in that world you know where everyone's trying to top each other with their money and they're all being pretentious they're all trying to impress

each other even though they're all depressed and their husbands are all cheating. But they're like, look, I got a new suburban. I mean, this was a long time ago. And I just remember thinking, fuck you. I don't want to be a part of this. It's disgusting. You're a bunch of sheep. Even though there was a world my best friends too,

because that's who I grew up with. But just that whole lifestyle, it's like F you. So this show, basically what happens, you guys? I started going on a hateful rant because I was triggered Okay, so there you happen right now. I was like, oh, I love this waspiness I'm a Jew and I just aspired to some day be a wasp. It'll never happen Oh, you run towards it. I'll run away from it and we meet in the middle to make a podcast. Oh Or we could just follow Katie's life mantra, which is that's

how I live live. Just look cute. That's all that matters. Also, I love red wine with Dr. Pepper inside of that. My tender profile says feed me Keso and tell me I'm pretty. I love it. Oh, I love it. Shep is like, I feel like no one does either of those things for her. It's like no one feeds her case, no one tells her she's pretty. Well, no, it's around going, yeah. But she's also full of shit because if someone offered her case, I want to date, I bet she'd be like, he offered me. Like, then he realized I was a joke.

I'm pretty. I don't do that. But if they think I'm mama June, what an asshole. And then it was just like, they kept cutting back to all these things she was saying. And she was just getting more and more horrified. Like his waspie heart was just crumbling. And she was like, I only play tennis because I can wear the skirt. He's like, gosh, oh, god. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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Is that something you can eat? Oh, gosh. Gosh, she's like me how? And he's like, gosh, my mom's embarrassed enough that I'm at a top golf in the first place. She's never gonna let me back in the house, gosh. And summer, so step state summer, the summer hoe, she keeps pulling at her hair.

She's like keeps pulling at her weave and touching her weave. And he keeps touching his face. And I'm like, their odd insecurity to rats is going to make them fall in love. I was like, he's found the woman. You know, she's a mess. You know, she tries to cover up her bad qualities with makeup. And she can't stop touching her features. So yeah, yeah, I was wrong.

So chef is like, I can't deal with this kitty girl anymore. She's too trashy for me. So, he just basically swoops summer away and they're gonna go off to a barb together alone. And so, they're in their Uber and summer's like, yeah, my favorite book of the Alchemist. She's like, what? Instant boner, gosh, I love the Alchemist.

It's like a parable. You have to take a little deeper to think about it. Gosh.h. And she's like, yeah, I mean like when that mouse was trying to teach the other mouse not to move the cheese. He's like, no, that was a fable, Garsh. Just like what I learned with alchemist is alchemist is about the canvas name. Ow, I love that book. Because you know, the producer is like, look, he can't find anybody to date him at this point. So just pretend you read. Please just say you like five minutes. Yeah, just find the name of one book. And she walked into the bookstore into the A section.

Alchemy. It's pronounced alchemist, okay. Doesn't have her mouse in it. Yes, okay, just go. Just go with it. So then she's like, don't know I just I've lived such a cushioned life is like oh cushioned oh she's like what yeah cushion she's like I think I think you mean cushy she's like cushy cushion oh cushy she's like well maybe it's my axe oh I think you mean cushy I'm like chef just let it slide it's okay you don't have to correct her. You're being an asshole. Well, speaking of correcting, I thought she was saying,

well, here's the thing about my life. Like, I've got a very Christian life. And he goes, Christian? This is like, Christian. He's Christian. Oh, I thought she was saying Christian. No, that's why you, she was saying cushion. That's why he was saying cushy. Oh, well, that makes me feel better because I was like, Jesus was a lot of things,

but he was not someone who walked around with 20 pounds of weave on his head. Well, I'll tell you who probably lived a very cushioned cushy life. It's probably Mr. Shepherd himself. And I guarantee you one thing he probably never did himself was cook himself an honest meal. That's for sure. Yeah, I'll bet she doesn't know how to make a shepherd's pie. Mm-hmm. But maybe if he used Hello Fresh, it'd be a different story. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah, yeah.

Look, we use Hello Fresh. It is a box. It's a bunch of meals in a box. Everything's color coded, important. So you're not just buying the same damn thing at the store like, oh look, I chopped an onion and then made some olive oil stuff and then ate it and it tasted mediocre. No, this is a lot of new stuff. You've probably never even tried yourself. And it's easy to make because they teach you exactly how to do it. Yeah, you get three plans to choose from classic veggie and

family. Like the classic is like a variety of meat, fish and seasonal produce. The veggie has vegetarian recipes. I mean, obviously, with plant-based proteins and grains. And then the family one is just like quick and easy meals with all the yum-worthy flavor. The whole family will love, not sure if Dr. Pepper is included. Katie, I'm sorry to tell you. Yeah, each week, hello fresh,

creates new delicious recipes. With step-by-instructions designed to take around 30 minutes. For everyone from novices to season home cooks short on time, you won't even embarrass my mom. Yeah, Garsh, feel confident when cooking yellow fresh with the simple recipes outlined on pictured step-by-step instruction cards. I mean, you could try the Hall of Fame customer voted favorite, juicy Lucy Berger with tomato onion jam and a Rougaless ad. Garsh, just

like the country club. Hello, fresh is now offering light summer meals. Like summer, the girl I'm currently on a date with with really heavy hairs and not understanding of the word cushy or what a fable is or what an alchemist does, you know, but delicious. Yeah, Garsh, we love it so much. One time I made a pork chop and it was better than any other pork chop I ever made in my life and that's a true story. Even though I'm speaking in Chap voice, it's a bad story. Garsh. It's less than $10 a meal. Okay?

So, here's the special call. You need to go to hellofresh.com and use the promo code Crapins to check out. No, you're wrong. It's Crapins 30. Oh, 30, you know why? Garsh, every week I have to say this to you. Crapins 30. I'm so sorry. I would like to apologize to my mother for embarrassing her

and the country club for not wearing the color shirt. Well, I did it. Gars. Gars, that's hellofresh.com. promo code Crap in 30. Gars. Yeah. It's Crap in 30 because you get $30 off your first week

of meals. Crap in 30. Hello hello fresh.com, gosh. So we got that covered. I'm like anything on summer's body. Am I a right, Pippa? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

By the way, I think that thing he said about the summer thing that was from the, you know, they have winter stuff too. By the way, they're doing winter he said about the summer thing that was from the, you know, they have winter stuff to by the way They're they're doing winter stuff right now not summer. Well again, I know people named Summer so I'm keeping summer in HelloFresh forever because summer you're gonna last as long and chef's life is summer didn't know So it means you're already gone. All right, let's move on Let's move on to the next, after this date with Katie and Summer, so Sarah wakes up, she's like, oh, good morning, Gersh.

And the question is, does Shepp want to take Summer back Charleston? Because the whole point of the show is that he's going to these different cities to meet girls. And then he's going to invite them all back to Charleston. And then they're going to live in a house together and it's going to play out Bachelor style,

which I think is kind of weird. It's one thing to do like the Bachelor thing, but it's another do like this cross country dates where you are like, it's under the guise of like, I'm really dating people. That makes sense, this whole show, it's like this, it feels like it's more of a realistic view of someone dating, but then to then,

well it's like a one man, yeah, it's like a one man American idol, but it's more of a realistic view of someone dating, but then to then. Well, it's like a one man. It's like a one man American idol, but it's IDLE. It's just like the judge just travels all over doing nothing, having nothing to talk about. And just but judging a bunch of fame Hungry House, he don't even know what they want in life, but show up because it's not. So, Shep is like, so the question is, you know, when the date ended, Shep was saying that he really felt like Summer was deeper than he first gave her credit for it, then he shouldn't

be judging books by their weaves. But then, Shep, the next day was like, I'm not sure. He's like, he's like, I'm not sure if I'm going to take Summer back Charleston because I don't know anybody in my life that really quite looks like that which is Kind of like his way of saying she looks slutty She's just too much makeup too much hair. She won't fit in which is really it has not a romantic statement like the I the romantic statement is love is love and even though she doesn't fit in I love her and I don't care but he's like gosh

No, she's not getting a taste of mom's meatloaf anytime soon. Gorsh. Yeah. He's like, look, she's somebody's dream. Just not anybody in Charleston's. I mean, what's my mom going to say? Why don't you just go fuck your mom already? Okay. The guys like this who all they care about is what their mom's going to think are their moms going to say are their mom's judgment. Nobody wants to be married to that because the wife is gonna be sitting there getting dirty looks the whole time like she's not good enough for ship. I'm gonna compete with her for ships. Like you can't even comb his hair.

You have no you have no claim on good motherhood. Mother. Yeah. Trickery. So now um, chef is he's contemplating inviting Jesse to Charleston. Jesse was in episode one. He went on a really good date with her. They had a really good rapport.

She's really smart. She's funny. She's quick. She seemed as well red. She's very pretty. And, but he didn't extend an invite to her on the spot, which was surprising. He's like, gosh, I'm not sure.

She sort of intimidates me. But then today, now that he's gone out with two hose and Dallas, he's like, oh, maybe I should extend it and invite to Jesse. I don't know why I was waiting so long. So he will just is an asshole. First of all, Jesse's like, I'm gonna be picked. So we're gonna have a date in a library. Okay. Yeah, we're all buying it. Jesse wasn't in a library. They went to Sanstra and then they walked to the last bookstore in downtown LA and then they were looking at books.

Oh, I just saw it from the clip. But I was like, I'm sure chef's like, let's look at books. Hey, guess what mom does book club? Is there a book club around you? It's like, oh my god. They had a really good date. They had a really, really good date. It's probably the best best date that we've seen. Although later on this episode, there was actually a really good date. They had a really, really good date. It's probably the best date that we've seen.

Although later on, this episode, there was actually a pretty good date. But either way, he's like, gosh, you wanna come to Charleston? She's like, hmm, works busy. So no, which to me, I think what obviously is gonna happen is that, you know, because he's mentioned her a few times now during this episode, I'm bombed.

I don't like being rejected I think what's gonna happen is like four episodes down the line Just as things are going well with one girl Jesse's gonna show up in Charleston and she'll be like gosh What do I do now cuz I really like her you know? Well, do they tell these girls what the show is like do they tell them he's traveling around He's gonna pack some hose and a pickup drop ship them to Charleston because they seem like shocked that they have to go beyond TV, you know. Yeah, I don't know. It's a very good question.

That's what I was wondering too. And that's why I say it's weird because it seems like the show is very much just trying to sell this idea that he's going and having dates in different cities and getting no people. But then when you then have to then send them all to Charleston, they live in a house. That does not fit that naturalist vibe that the show is presenting right in these first two episodes Well, it goes to prove my original judgment that I can't prove because I'm never around shit But I feel like chef just smells like pickles and nobody knows why he's not one of those guys It just has an odd smell because like he'll eat a pickle and then put his fingers through his hair. And then it's like he looks cute on TV and on paper like he's

got a bomb, apparently. I mean, that's all I really know about him and that he doesn't come as air. But then you get with him and you're like, something smells like pickles and I think it's him. I'm out. Maybe it's maybe it's some of those those pickles from Boston that we got. Grilla's pickles. No, they'd love them if they were there. If you smelled like a gourmet pickle, that's one thing. Yeah. A Grillos pickle would have been delicious. Yeah.

So now, Shep heads up to Austin, which is funny, because I thought he already was in Austin. Ha, ha. When that happened, when they said they drive to Austin, my mom goes, promise from the back. Ha, ha, ha ha. When that happened, when they said they drive to Austin, my mom goes, promise from the back. She goes, I can't believe people watch this shit. I said, mom, we were just watching a remake of Little Women on Lifetime that changed book writing and detesting. So please don't judge my television shows. Okay. Back the hell off. So he, so Chef goes, he meets a girl named Amber at, at a food truck and already you

can tell they're going to get along really well because they have matching hat shirts. Like his hat is like this crazy bright green and her shirt is a crazy bright green and you just know it's like, gosh, it's like we're a top golf all over again, gosh. He's like, whoa, this is like Dr. Pepper and wine. I'm scared. And he calls Cam to get some advice. She's like, hi, she's up. What's up, loser?

And he's like, whoa, this is so hard. Like, it's sensory overload. And she's like, I have a child inside of me click. Yeah. Okay, good to talk to you. So he means Amber, the marketing director. And she has a dog named Moon. So at first, I was like, oh, this is one of those

fake Austin hippies. I hate you. Yeah, me too. Like she's like, I'm a hippie, but then she's stealing your weed. It's like one of those girls, but she wasn't. She was actually a nice girl. She was really nice. And this scene was important because it raised a very important question, which has chef Evergonne tacos before, ever. She's like, he's like, what's good here? And she's like, oh, well, the alpastor. And she goes, he's like, alpastor, that's my name. In Spanish, the chef heard, oh my God, well, I have to get the alpastor, because it's named after me.

It's like being like, burrito, they have something called a burrito. Yeah, it's named after me, because I'm cold. Burr, burr, it's named after me. And Judge L bird Bird it's named after me and judge Lansito and I love the OJ trial Yeah, the guy behind the counter in the truck is like yes That'll pass on and he's like Cassie Which I don't know but I do know that in Vanderpromp rules We talked about the shepherd and now we're talking about the shepherd again And it's like a whole fucking day of shepherd

Shepherds, yeah, yeah nothing. It's like we're stuck in a big old shepherd's pie And he tells he looks at dogs man or the dog man and he goes does every dog like this have different color dyes She goes no and he goes whoa that's so unique Keep dogs weird, right Oh, that's so unique. Keep dogs weird, right? So Chef Likes Austin, because he reminds them of all the great places he's ever been. And Amber specifically is like a long lost friend.

So there's some good chemistry going on between them and see normal. And looks just like Cameron, which I think is a good call for the internet. People are like, he's just basically looking for Cameron, right? But also, this started a thing that happens over and over on the internet. People are like, uh, he's just basically looking for camera and writing. Yeah. But also this started a thing that happens over and over on the show. He's like, where did you go to college? And she's like, well, um, LSU. And he's like, whoa, wait, no,

wait. She doesn't say LSU. She said somewhere. And he's like, how was batten rouge? I love that place. I love that college. It's like fun. It's great. I think chef has fuck somebody from every college in America Because every time we ask somebody like what college are you from oh my god? I love that college Here's what the sorority houses are like there. Yeah Yeah, he's like Chucolaga community college. I love that college Yeah, everybody has a Brazilian there for some reason. It's weird, Chucolaga Community College. I love that college. Yeah, everybody has a Brazilian there for some reason. It's weird, right?

So after this Amber day is the next day. And Shep has been set up with this girl named Priscilla, who's from Brazil, because it's like Sarah's friends, Kira's friends friend, something like that. So I feel like the date gets off on a very strange note because Shep shows up at the top of a staircase outside and Priscilla's at the bottom and he just flings a frisbee at her.

It's like, she's not a dog. Yeah, he's like, whoa, moon, catch. Oh, sorry. I'm so discombobulated. Oh, you fixed your eyes moon He's like Priscilla. Well, she's the queen of the desert, but that doesn't count where I'm from I don't know if my mom will like her so Priscilla's kind of an asshole Which I love about her and she's really dry and sarcastic and just gives him shit and She's also like a foothold.

They have this huge like height differential and you can tell that he doesn't he's not into a right from the get go because he's like yeah Priscilla she's a bit more age-appropriate, a bit more mature, which is cool, it's cool Garsh, very cool. Yeah. He's like, wow, this called if this show is called Guild Guild, Guild Flatianship, she might have a chance. Okay. Yeah. So, um, so basically, they're, they're talking about Brazilian culture because she's, she's was born in Brazil and families, Brazilian and they, they speak Portuguese a lot and everything. And Chepp is like, I was introduced to Brazilian culture by my nanny and she's like, what? You're a man. And he goes, what is that not cool? No, it's not cool, chef, to be bringing up your nanny on the date.

It's like second to your mother. Why don't you talk about what your mother likes about Brazil, you loser. And he goes, I know about Brazil. See, see, and she's like, um, that's Spanish, but okay, which happens to also be okay in Spanish. So hope you've got that bilingual loser. Yeah, they have zero chemistry and so, but they still, they go to a bar and they, they get beers. They got a beer like fine. I got a shine on whatever.

And so, chef is like sitting there being super dainty, he's eating a nacho, he's wiping off salt from the nacho, which to me is one of the most ridiculous things you could ever do to a nacho. Like, he's like, you're eating nachos, you're eating that salt, I'm sorry. No, it's not even the nacho, it's the worst white people that you can ever order,

which by the way, I constantly order and is delicious. Spinach dip, spinach and artichoke dip that he orders which I'm already embarrassed for him. You're right. It's like ordering a thin girl. It's ordering a thin girl a bowl of mayonnaise. Like could you say I don't give a shit about your figure anymore lady or what you want or what your needs are. So he's like brushing his salt off the tortilla chip and Priscilla's like, wow, you really complain a lot. He's like, gosh, you complain a lot. Do I complain a lot? I hate this place, makes me complain a lot.

So gosh, he's mean, she's like, oh, did I hurt your feelings? Like she hates him. Yeah. And yet at the same time, she's like, well, I want to, well, this was fun. I've got to leave soon, but this was fun. Like, we should hang out again.

And he's like, really? Garsh? And she, which is surprising, because I thought that she couldn't stand him. And he's like, you want to see me again? I'm not even a catch. I mean, and she's like, yeah, you're right. I mean, you are dirty and you don't work. And you have no ambition.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's a joke. Yeah, she's like, I'm just kidding. Don't be offended. And he's like, you can't say I'm just joking after, say I'm just joking after everything. And then he tells us, yeah, she's like giving it to me, but she hasn't earned that yet. I'm like, well, considering you've earned nothing ever,

I think we can give the girls some leeway. Oh, by the way, I have to say about the waiter because I haven't made fun of enough waiters lately. Some chef goes, I want to finish an artichoke dip and he goes, whoa, good choice. Fuck off. Thanks for your opinion, clear.

My dad, my dad hates one. Waiters, give their opinions. Oh, it's like no one asked for your compliments on my ordering skill This is like the way to rip you so that's exactly all my dad is like my dad So um so Priscilla's like oh, I'm sorry. I was just joking I was just you know giving you the business because remember before you said that you can you can take it when I ask if you could take it And it looks sort of like you can't take it, but I guess you're saying you can take it so you can you can take it when I asked if you could take it and it looks sort of like you can't take it But I guess you're saying you can take it so I guess you can take it. Ha ha he's like oh, I can take it

I have the skin of an alligator. She's like apparently not. He's like gosh She's like actually you literally do because you don't know how to me use moisturizers or losers Seeing Charles Stan and he's like god I wore my element shirt for her. This is burger spelled out and elements I'm beer too. I actually like that shirt. I was This is Berger spelled out in elements. I'd be here too. I actually like that shirt. I was like, that's kind of a cool shirt. So then ship, so then ship has like a bear. Hey, Ben, good choice. Thanks. Thanks. It's like a spinach and artichoke tip of shirts. So they just have like their whole report is so awkward because he's like, so,

wasn't he a ride getting get here or something like that. I didn't mean to like that. And then he's, and then he has again, like another kind of interesting comment about the day he's like, well, you know, someone like that who's like, raw, you know, can rub friends and friends wives the wrong way. I was... I sort of thought though. Hey, I appreciated the comment because it meant that producers had a chance to roll out the cat when running after Thomas. Clip again. BOWMEEE! COME BAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Come on, baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so I don't think I can date her, you know? But I think realistically that is something people think about. And I think, you know, I've certainly thought about that

for like when I've dated someone, I thought, is this someone that I can bring around my friends? Cause you know, for me, it's important that I can like hang out with my friends and a boyfriend, you know? I mean, please, it's Chef, who were his friends with me, okay? He's also obsessed with his mother.

Then you've got Thomas, he's like some drug dealer. He's always trying to trick his wife into failing drug tests or his ex-wife that he just used 20 years ago to have babies. And then who else? Jay D. He was like not paying his rent. Right. And he doesn't have a wife. So who cares?

I mean, you make a good point. You make a good point. I don't know. I mean, in general, when you generalize this stuff you're totally correct But specifically shut Yeah, I actually did not think Priscilla was great in general I believe it or not I actually think that what he said that she hadn't really earned the right to be like

Like joking quote unquote joking so hard. It was a fair statement. I thought she was a little She was a little like a bitch. I thought she was an. Yeah, she was, I thought she was straight up bitchy. She was like a bitching of way that's not fun. It wasn't like the way Cameron can be, you know. And I think that he thinks of, he probably thinks of like, who can I hang out with with Cameron, right? And he's like, this will not be a good mix with Cameron. Yeah, Cameron will kill her. Like she'll, she'll take that roast take that roast beef pot she used one time and slam it over her head, like she'll murder her. So, um, so, she'll go, oh, if that reminds me,

we didn't see that on Southern charm this last season, we didn't see that lady who teaches them how to cook, right? I like her. Yeah, we didn't see it. Well, she probably got fired after making somebody sick after letting Cameron leave dishwasher bubbles on one of the pots. Remember? I'm still mad about it.

It was like years ago. Oh, yeah. It was like drawing with a butt. You have just awakened a terrible memory for me. I'm telling you, it's like Antarctica's warming and it's uncovering all of these diseases that were thought long dead. Yeah. It's like that, but I just did to you.

It's like I just regained you, Polio. Thank you. So now, Shep goes off to New York City and he's decided that he's going to invite Amber to Charleston, which in my mind, I'm like, why didn't you invite her? Why did you give an invite spot on to the dumb rodeo girl from episode one?

This girl, this stupid farm girl, she's not stupid because she works on a farm. I'm just saying the farm girl is what makes her distinctive and she does rodeo. He gives her an invite to Charleston on the spot. And yet Amber and her moon dog who have great chemistry, he doesn't even get, he waits like a day to give her the invite. No, so he... Well, the dog bit him, Amber.

He's like, oh, and she goes, did he bite you? Because he doesn't buy anybody. And he's like, maybe it's a love bite. Or maybe you smell like pickles. So I feel like he left there feeling insecure. He wasn't sure. Chase by a moon shadow. Garsh, and bit me. So I don't know if you want to bring home to your your stick up or ask mom, a girl who carries around a 24 pack of

bud light you know I like that so um so Amber basically he calls up Amber's like you want to come to Charleston hang out and she's like um I just I feel weird dating someone on camera so no yeah I don't know if I could do that whole on film thing, you know Okay, you name your dog moon and you're an Austin hippie and you've already shot an episode so shut up. You need attention get over here So chef shut me set up with his friend Kate and she's like, oh my god I'm gonna introduce you to Bella and she's's 23, but she's like a mature 23. You're gonna love Bella.

So he's like, okay, Garth. She's like 23, that's not so bad. Hmm, how old does Shep? 37. Okay, so I was just curious. Yeah. It doesn't change my judgment. My judgment is still as strong.

Yeah. So Shep is like, wow, wait, hold on, let me get the young spirit. Oh, he goes, where's Sympathico? Well, Chef basically, he shows up on this date with Bella in Brooklyn, and he's just put on like a new little bomber jacket, and he like slips out of the car, and he's like, gosh, look at this jacket, it's too small, and the tag is still

on it. Well, you help me get it off? And I'm like, hey, that's a pretty clever, you know, flirty move, leave the tag on and be like, can you help me get this off? But it also highlights how helpless he is in life. Yeah, and she's just basically like, and he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

and that's the whole thing. And then they go to an escape room, which Bravo needs to just stop it with this. Yeah, they go and they go in there. Oh, go ahead. Sorry, babe. I can I can always tell when you hit the fast forward button. I'm like, oh, but you're right. Yeah, escape room. And then you know, we fuck so wall and it's over. Okay, back like drop the mic. All right, I'm like, so anyway, so they're in this cap room and well, whatever, we'll just, we'll just go. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, no, I'm kidding.

Room my flow is ruined, my flow is ruined. I know, hustle and flow, Batch, never let your hoe keep you down. Yeah. Yeah, so they go into this secret, they go into one of these bravo like escape rooms and they're into different little jail cells And he's like gores. I don't know where there's a key. Do you I think we have to find a key for the locks And she's like I found this piece of blood that looks like a roller type of wood

He's like how do I get the key I wish I said she has a long piece of wood. At which point he knocks himself out unnecessarily. He like bashes his head against the window. He's like, gosh. I know it's like they finally captured lurch. The prospects of getting out of this escape room do not look good. So anyway, after they get out of this escape room, Shep takes Bella to a place called the Bushwick Country Club, which is a bar, but I think we all know the reason why he took her there. And so Bella is very beautiful. She's got a little bit of a lived Tyler thing going on. And she's basically like, so you're 37 and single, what's wrong with you? He's like, hmm, born rich.

Yeah, born wealthy smell like pickles, anything else. So Katie's like, um, you have to ask her because literally everybody's saying that Sarah, wait, is there another one named Katie? Katie was the disaster in a top golf. Oh, okay. So Sarah's like, you need to like get her on your side or whatever. So he's like, oh my gosh, I'm freaking out. Like, how do you talk to 23 year old? Should I say something like step off the curb? What about Wiggy? Wiggy. And she's like, no, just go ask her. So he's like, so hey, I live in Charleston like, want to hang out. And she's like, ha ha ha. Yeah, she doesn't really answer. She just sort of smiles and is like, am I I'm a date with this creepy old daddy type

Yeah, she's like and pickles. Yes, so let me see now then Did you hang up? I thought you know I started to talk and we both started to talk at the same time You go because you know what I was gonna say and then escape room. Yeah, I had a feeling so I was like, let me, I'll just do this. So, because you were like, and then Katie you put the Dr. Pepper in the Coke, I was like, oh, and then Katie Lee Jolas went, came back. Yeah. And she's like, I want to be back on top chef

and I can only see Bruce Willis, ha ha. So basically it's the next day and where we're at with the show is that the whole conceit is that Shep is going to go around the country and invite all these girls to this house and then he's going to whittle them down. Except the problem is only two people have accepted the invitation. So they're like, uh, Shep, you have to invite someone. What about Priscilla? She said she wants it to see you again. He's like, uh, I don't know. And it's like, come on, Priscilla, do Priscilla. He's like, okay, like no, don't text her, call her.

He's like, oh, I'm like, he does not like her. Why are you forcing him to invite this woman into the house? He cannot stand her. He's like, can't I just text her an emoji of an eggplant and some salt? So then, so then he's like, all right, I'll leave my voice. Man, no one leaves voice, males. Oh, okay, oh, oh, all right, I'll leave a voice man. No one leaves voice males. Oh, okay.

Oh, Priscilla, hi, it's Shep. You want to come to Charleston? By the way, I will be participating in trivia tonight in Brooklyn. Weird, right? Bye. And he's like, Garsh, I was too verbose. I was.

I was so overtly communicative. I hope she can take it. So he is now going on this date with the girl named Arden. So when they said it, the commercial, they're like coming up on shepherds. Oh, oh, oh, it said, oh my God, she's having seizures and then you see him closing the door. And so I thought this girl named Arden was going to break out into seizures at any moment, right? Right. So I'm looking at Arden like, oh my god, what's wrong with her? She's about to have a seizure. She's about to have a seizure.

Like I was waiting for it and it never happened and I'm really upset. I was fortunate in that I fast-forwarded in the coming up next because either I just didn't want the surprise to be ruined or I just didn't care that much. Either way. I fast-forwarded and then I, so chef and ardent are at trivia and I felt bad for ardent and she seemed really nervous. She also seemed to me like someone who is like a nerdy girl and she was like somehow plucked to be on this show so she like borrowed her friends black dress and like did her hair and then she could tell she was like very uncomfortable in like being on this date and being in these clothes and she was just very sort of stiff and awkward and they were trying to come up with a naughty name for their trivia team and she just comes on like way too strong she's like

how about plantarose in Ordin's garden and he's like yeah yeah, that's great, that's XX. Okay, we'll go with that. That's hilarious. That's hilarious, just like the book The Secret Garden, where marriage mother is dead from a terrible plague. Wow, mom's not going to like this very much. What do I do? You're like a regular Charlotte Bronte. Do you know where that Umlaco's on that name? So he's like tell me more about yourself and she's like okay I live in Boston I have a client here in New York you in a Vermont and he's like oh my god I love University of Vermont everybody shows smart and they know how to put up tents and she's like you know what public ivy is and he's like, what does that mean?

And then they're like, oh, trivia time. He's all about Star Wars. And she's like, oh, jeez, it's like, oh my god. And he starts touching his face all over the place. He's like, oh my god, I have to win. I know. It's like this filmmaker inspired George Lucas to make Star Wars. He's like, gosh, has to be Kubrick, right? I mean, it's gotta be Kubrick. It's gotta be Kubrick. He's the guy. No, yeah's like gosh has to be Kubrick right? I mean it's gotta be Kubrick It's gotta be Kubrick is it again. Oh, yeah, it's totally gotta be Kubrick I mean yeah, of course. Oh gosh. I mean because George Lucas saw that movie and then he saw me that movie TXR XR TX XY dark empire and it's like gosh gosh

Why do I know this a gosh? Who was the director of steamboat Willie Gorsh? Why is there so much salt on this tortilla? Also, Gorsh. She's like, are you trying to wipe salt off of my head? What are you doing? Gorsh, I'm sorry, I'm so nervous. I can't stop myself.

So then Sarah's like, oh my god, I have to go. My mom's having seas urchins in the hospital. He's like, thank god, I got that question wrong and I'm so embarrassed. Yeah, he basically, so he, she leaves and then he puts, you know, just, I was called him Gar, she puts, origin into a car. It's like, Gar, see you later.

And then he goes to the hospital because he really cares for Sarah. And I don't know if this is sort of show where they're trying to imply that the end of the day, like the real love is gonna be Sarah, the producer, but he goes there to be, to be with Sarah and her mom and the mom's like, so am I on TV now? Is this what's happening? Am I on, am I being filmed? Something is wrong with my head. They say it's seizures. Have you found love, Shepard? Have you found love yet? He's like, do you mind if we use flash? She's like, I just said I was having seizures.

Also, Sarah's sister is there and she's looking at the camera crew. Like, are you mind if we use flash? She's like, I just said I was having seizures. Also, Sarah's sister is there, and she's looking at the camera crew. Like, are you fucking kidding me? My mom just almost died. Like, you're gonna bring, you're gonna let my sister bring in the reality crew right now, fuck you guys. But she didn't say anything.

And the mom's like, well, what about Katie? Someone gonna, I mean, what about Sarah? Is someone gonna take care of Sarah? I don't wanna leave with Sarah being alone He's like don't worry. I'll get under oh good or noober gosh. Yeah, and he's like gosh well You know the truth is Sarah. I want to leave with you right that moment But I thought we rude to leave our own behind so I put her in Uber knowing that I'd be right behind you soon

Soon or whatever and the music was like all sad and nice and then and then he I think he even says about it to the mom because she's like I think I'm gonna live and she's like yeah and at the end of this the big twist is that I'm gonna want to put Sarah and then he hugs her and it's like oh I'm cameras at home like oh my God thank the Lord she's next to Chef's mom and so it's like licking the TV and told that So mom's like now that girl can come to the country club. Yeah So that was that was it for that now it is Wednesday and

That was it for that. Now it is Wednesday and the exciting news is we publicly shamed Mike Bowman into doing a proper crap ins, what would we call it again? Spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. So it literally arrived a minute ago. So I'm downloading it as we speak.

It has not been listened to And know what if he calls me the f word the worst word you could ever call somebody and just total disrespect Which I would never do purposely Well, he might that's that's the joy of live podcasting all right So let me load this up into my into into iTunes hold on might as well be alive our assing editing it Yeah, Ronnie, oh, we forgot to put our musical bed. Like we did for Phantom Pump Rules yesterday. Oh, well, I'll just do that later.

Okay, I'm gonna load this in. We're loading it in. This is gonna be very exciting to hear Mike Bowman's big moment. I have to, like, it's a whole process of me writing and things like I've got a group it, put it in the right playlist, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, are we ready to hear what Mike has to say?

Yeah. Where is it? Oh Mike, I'm so glad Mike Bulman did this. You know, we sure love Mike. Oh yeah, you may hold on a second. Now I've lost it. See, this is what happened. This is what happens when we try to do a listener spotlight

on the fly. Okay, we're gonna get, oh, that's why I labeled it incorrectly. This is really compelling content. We're going out, there we go. There we go. Listen, this is from Mike, okay? Yeah. Hi, I'm Mike Bowman.

You may remember me from things such as the Watchwood Crarapins Google Hangout or the Mailbag where I ask stupid questions like what's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? If you remember, then the answer was thanks a lot. Yeah. Or you may see me in the WatcherCrapins Facebook group or the other crap and Facebook group that name always changes like ptidys when he's not on Sonya's yeah Or you might not even know who that I am at all who that one So I'm Mike Bowman from Green Bay, Wisconsin. I'm a financial analyst. I've been Participate, listening to Pledge of Crappens for three years.

Prior to that, I was a television without pity where my username was Rusty Spigget, which I used to use elsewhere, because that got shut down. And then I was homeless like Bethany wandering around the internet and then I wandered into watchered crap and I'm just bleeding everywhere around watchered crap and just like Bethany. Other than that, I'm bleeding on the floor. Maybe see some of you in Chicago at the show. That's coming of you in Chicago at the show That's coming up next May it'll be around my birthday, so yay

And now I'll just sleep quiet It's like an elegant person does Bye. Thank you Mike. Mike. We love you. What did we do the three years without Mike? I'm surprised that, yeah, I feel like Mike has always been there, but apparently not. Me too. What the hell, Mike? You know, Mike is, he's got a real dry sense of humor and he's always the very first person on our monthly hangouts

and we just really love him and he's so sweet. And as much as he's being like, whatever, you know, he's like a real, he's got a really big heart I feel like or a sweet guy. He's a really sweet guy and he's funny as fuck his comments are always really really good Yeah, he's keep an eye out for his comments on on the internet because they're a good one We sure love you mr. Bowman. Thank you for submitting your Your your your crap in spotlight. Oh, we didn't play the little crap in Spotlight music for him. Here, we'll play it.

God, I really didn't. Spotlight. There we go. Oh, I really didn't mess with your flow earlier. I didn't mean to do that. No, it wasn't you. It was my coffee situation was suboptimal today. And you can only say garsh so many times in one hour before your brain just

so they just shuts down spontaneously. Well, I felt like we had to get it in there because that's all we're doing for relationship. It's over, or relationship, sorry. Yeah. That's over as far as we're concerned. We're going to wait for Southern charm because next week our schedule is going to be at Lanter. Fandercount rules. Then Wednesday is real house. So I was above the hills, return.

And Thursday is Jersey and Friday is that other one we do. Oh, top chef. But you go out of town, but you, you leave on your cruise on Wednesday, do you not? Nope. I'm coming home tomorrow and then I come back here the 21st, which I don't know when that is. That's the Thursday. That's disgusting. So we could record at night, Jersey, so I'll still be here for that. And then I leave on the cruise Christmas Eve. So I'm only going to be gone the week that we're taking off for Christmas. So I'll be here for all the shows. Okay. Well, I'm excited for you. I'm excited for you. Me too. I'm excited that it's almost Christmas.

I can't believe it. It's almost the new year. And it is such a great year here. And it's Hanukkah today tonight. Oh, happy Hanukkah. Happy New Year. We're in the midst of Hanukkah. It's Hanukkah time. Oh my God, I'm getting you so many presents for every day of Hanukkah. Oh my god, I haven't gone to Hanukkah present yet, so this will be very exciting. Although everyone was really nice at my birthday over the weekend. I got a lot of little gifts, which I never get gifts on my birthday anymore. I feel like once I'd hit like 13, I had my bar mitzvah and that was it for birthday gifts. And suddenly this weekend everyone decided to get me a little something which was so nice to everyone Leon our friend Leon

she baked me a bun cake and Made me another cake and then my friend Daryl made me ginger bars. It was just like I'm just plumping myself up with all your gifts That is so sweet and it also reminds me to shout out to my friends Thanks for nothing you wore mother fuckers and I'm never inviting you to anything again. So thanks. Gosh, you just have to go on across country tour to find better friends and invite them back to LA and put them in a house and decide who's going to be your new

friend and let land and pick them for you. Oh, that's who you missed. Landon was on the first episode. Yeah, we know it's actually a shame that this show is on... It's such an intense period for Bravo Pro Remming because we would actually have a ball. We would have a really fun time going through it. Well, I sure did today. When we end an episode and I'm exhausted, that means it was fun. Yeah, it's um...

You just don't have to band with. And uh... And, you know... The varsity shows are all on right now. I'm sorry, Chef. Well, we will be back tomorrow with the little real ass wilds of New Jersey. Yeah. And until then, go buy tickets of WatchrootCrapins.com

and we sure love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to WatchrootCens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.