Watch What Crappens - Return to New York!

Episode Date: June 5, 2012

Return to New York!See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Countess speaking. We have arrived. Gems, jets, silhouettes, champagne in the sky. Fine premieres and fireworks every single night. Hey everyone, welcome back to Watch What Crap Is, a weekly podcast about all things Bravo.

I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and joining me this week is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. What's up, Matt? Hey, thanks. I'm glad to be back after a nice little vacation away from you. Yeah, you had a little vacay and then we were off for Memorial Day and Ronnie, we've lost in the woods. I believe he's camping tonight, which is a shame because he missed the Real Housewives of New York City premiere, which we will certainly be talking about. We're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about Real Housewives of New Jersey, a little bit of OC. But mainly we're going to talk about New York City, and quite frankly, that's all I need.

I know that's – I'm sure that you feel the same way. I mean, I might have left work early today to run home and watch the East Coast broadcast because it is that important in my life. It is that important, and we'll get to that soon. But why don't we start off with some gossip? I have some gossip fresh off the presses. Okay, well, you hit me with that, and then I'll let our listeners hear a little juicy tidbit from my end. Okay, well, I mean, I guess this isn't really gossip.

It's more like interesting news, and actually I put interesting in air quotes. I'm doing air quotes right here. I was listening to a local radio station out here in LA today, 92.7, formerly Jill FM, which played exclusively music for divorcees and cougars. So naturally, I love it. Of course. Of course. And they had a promo on the radio today, wherein they said that on Saturday, there was going to be a three-hour kickoff thing for something called Slade Radio, or maybe it was Radio Slade. Either way, Slade Smiley now has a job. You know all this talk that he doesn't do anything, he doesn't have a job? He has a job. He's going to be doing weekdays on 92.7, one hour every day, and he's going to be playing music and

doing quote-unquote celebrity interviews and gossip and giving you the real inside story. Now here's the real question. Will he be also dropping in some of his comedy gems? I actually think so because I then went to the website, the 92.7 website, and they talk about how he's continuing to do stand-up comedy all across the nation, which is too bad for the nation. Too bad for the nation.

I mean the funny thing is like I really want to slam him for – well, I want to slam him for various reasons. But it's kind of like – When you say slam, do you – what do you mean by slam? I mean it both ways. Let's just be clear. But at least the guy has a job. I mean it's not going to be a lucrative business. I think that Gretchen Christine Butte is still where the

money's at. But hey, at least he's, you know, maybe he had to do this in order to marry Gretchen. Like, maybe that was one of the stipulations. I don't know. I just I don't wonder who would actually want to hear Slade every afternoon. I mean, look, it's working already because we've mentioned this radio station. And by the way, this is

not a Los Angeles radio station. It's based out of Ventura. So it's like a suburban station that just somehow gets onto my radio. But man, I can't think of anything worse than an hour of Slade. Well, to be honest with you, can it be any worse than Alexis Bellino on Fox 5 with the booty doctor? Yeah, I actually think it could be a lot worse because Alexis Bellino with Dr. Booty and her recurring segments, those are hilarious.

Those are funny. You know what? She should really win a local Emmy for that. That would be hilarious. I agree. And it could be presented to her by her porn star boss. I think that we should take out an ad in the trades. I would love to.

For your consideration, Alexis Bellino. She wouldn't even understand what that means. Like, what are they considering? Oh, that's way too big of a word. But anyway, I just have one other little tidbit for our listeners out there. I actually had secured tickets, well, what I thought were tickets for Ben, Ronnie, and myself to go see a taping of Bethany Frankel's new talk show up in Burbank tomorrow so that we could talk about it next week on the show. But when I got reading all these emails from the producers, it got ridiculous, and they asked me, Ben, last week.

I didn't even get into it when I was telling you guys that we're not going. They asked for pictures for all of us. They asked, like, all these ridiculous questions. And part of me is like, if we're not hot enough, do we not get to sit in the crowd? Like, I don't understand. For the audience, we weren't going to be on camera. I mean, we weren't going to be guests, right? No, you were not going to be guests. This is just to sit in the crowd. Like I don't understand for the audience. This, we weren't going to be on camera. I mean, we weren't going to be guests, right? You were not going to be guests. This is just to sit in the audience. And it really, really pissed me off. So I wrote back to the

casting producer or the segment producer, whatever the hell it was called. And I just said to him, I was like, this is completely ridiculous. You're not promising me that I can sit with my friends. We have to show up like four hours in advance with no guarantee that we're even getting into the show. And you want my photo because maybe if I'm not hot enough, you're not going to let me be in the audience. This is ridiculous. This is a lot. These are a lot of a lot of hoops to jump through for a talk show that in all likelihood is going to be pretty terrible. Well, yeah, I think it's actually only airing this summer in like six markets.

So good luck to you. And to be honest, I'm like her biggest fan or I was her biggest fan. I had her drinks before everybody. I bought the books. I drank the Kool-Aid. It was Kool-Aid. And I tried to drag everybody on board. And now this is the repayment?

Forget about it. Why were you talking to a casting director or a segment producer? I mean you should be talking to an audience coordinator or the press. Whatever. Maybe that's what it was. But they were emailing and I was just like, you know what? Forget this. It's not worth our time.

It is not worth our time because – excuse me. But we are the proud broadcasters of the Watch What Crappens podcast. More people – That is not enough. Put our podcast, Ben, then watch her talk show, Let's Get Real. Yeah, Let's Get Real right now. And all these people are listening right now and we're going to say don't get tickets to Bethany. Bethany Talk Show.

What's the name of her show anyway? It should be called Be Frank. Oh, that's great. That's a great title. They didn't hire me. Oh, wait. I can't even get in the audience. Anyway, let's get real and move on to the mega amazing star powered sensation that is the real mirror of the Real Housewives of New York City.

So great to have these women back and to have some new faces, too. I have to say this is still my favorite of all the Real Housewives. And watching this 90minute season premiere, it just reminded me why on so many levels. You know, I think that there's no other Real Housewives franchise, maybe Beverly Hills, where a conversation can be so perfectly awkward. You know? You are so correct. I mean, Beverly Hills is right near the top of the heap for me. of the heap for me but you know earlier today when i was thinking about how excited i was to speed home through all of the red lights to get home to watch this i just i remembered like new york is the best it is you know because the thing is this new york and to some degree beverly hills

there are some pretenses that they exist in polite society so when they call each other out for things like interrupting, et cetera, it is just like the most cringeworthy thing you could ever imagine. The other thing here is, look, Orange County is so like the land of the bizarre. It's not like a real place. Sorry, listeners that live there, but it's just so bizarre. And Atlanta, they don't really all have that much money. And Miami was a disaster disaster as we all know and jersey is just in its own world which i also love completely but in new york like they do roll in some serious social circles they do get invited they do have like serious rolodexes and a lot of them have major money and that's what makes it so much better yeah and yet they will still act like

tacky little poors that is true and we love it but why don't we get started with the introduction of the three new housewives i know that we were very concerned when we heard that alex and jill and uh especially kelly you know my favorite crazy kelly and then to a lesser extent – what was that other chick's name? Cindy. Cindy, that they were biting the dust after this season or after last season. So we were concerned, but are you now fully on board with the new ladies? I am fully on board. I feel like they actually – at least two of them fit right in.

There's a third one. Who is the novelist? What was her name again? Carol. She's my favorite. Well, OK okay so carol let's start with carol then okay carol she won points for me for making fun of mommies who only talk about their kids okay can i can i like kind of um recite the quote that she said because it was genius okay carol says, this is very paraphrased, obviously, but she goes like, yeah, babies are boring and mommies that get together just to talk about babies are totally boring and I don't have time for it because it's all boring. I don't have kids. And I was like, I'm in love with you. like she kind of just like fell off everything she did after that was kind of sort of like boring and annoying and her teeth were distracting me and she's sort of pretentious and like acting a little over it i kind of feel like she'll be that one person i feel like she'll be okay but i don't think she's gonna bring that much to the table i have to say i feel like aviva and heather

are where it's at for the new girls there's no doubt about that the only thing i really like about carol is that she's really icy and distant and flippant and egotistical and she will be great because she will think that they're all lunatics and just be like, F this, I'm out of here. Yeah. Hopefully she'll be the Greek chorus for the season.

And I mean that seems like it would be the perfect thing for her and she should be because she's a writer so I like to think that she might be somewhat observant. And good for the show for stepping up their writer game because previous to her, the only columnist or writer on the show was Kelly Ben Simone, who – Well, whose new book is out where she claims that she can turn you into a hot person. Yeah, well, actually I could oddly not believe that. But whatever about Kelly.

She's old news. She's gone. She's no longer with us. She's gone. Okay, well, let's talk about the other new ladies, and I do agree with you that Aviva and Heather are going to bring the majority of the drama this season. I mean, a perfect mix for Ramona and Sonya and a nice tag team combination there, I must

admit. Well, you know what? Heather's already brought the drama. I have to say, Heather, she is going to be i wouldn't even say a sleeper bitch she's going to be a big bitch she already is a huge bitch if you ask wait wait wait can we come up with is that like the new for a sleeper bitch that's amazing that is amazing well you know when she first came on she looked sort of sweet she's got that big goofy grin you know and she seemed nice and da-da-da-da-da. She is the biggest bitch. What are you talking about?

I actually liked her after the premiere. No, she – oh, here's the thing. She is so fake. I could not have said that any gayer, by the way. She is so fake. No, but she is really – she is crazy fake. Okay, so she has Ramona enter her office. They have a nice conversation and then

she proceeds to bash her like crazy or how about like she talks about how uh she hates ramona's one-upping one-upping and she hates ramona's story about uh avery almost being a stillbirth and then she's like wow thanks so much for sharing that with me like shut up you bitch look she does talk mad shit already i mean we've seen these women for, like, 90 minutes, and that's including commercials. So behind her back, she is already talking mad shit in the confessionals. Yeah. And she's being fake to Ramona's face. But I would have to be fake to Ramona's face, too, because Ramona is so reprehensible.

Yeah. I mean, this is, like, one of the all-time classic, like, Clutcher Pearl's gasping moments in Real Housewives history when Heather had Ramona over to her studio in her office. And when she was talking about her son's having to have a liver transplant when he was six months old and Ramona one-upped her with, well, I thought Avery was dead when I gave birth to her. I mean, Ben, it does not sink lower than that. Well, but here's the thing. I will say this in Heather's defense. I didn't say that I didn't like her. I just said that she's a bitch. And I think think that which is kind of a term of endearment well

she is kind of the ideal real house as character which is that she can be at once a huge bitch at the same time you sort of see where she's coming from it's like it's like or not even that you see where she's coming from you sort of are like you go back and forth on whether or not you're on her side it's sort of like you know with luann ramona you're you go back and forth on whether or not you're on her side. It's sort of like Luann, Ramona. You're constantly going back and forth. Do you hate Ramona? Do you love Ramona? Do you hate the Countess?

Do you love her? I mean it's sort of like that's what makes this show, the whole franchise in general, but especially New York, so good because you have these women who you're constantly going back and forth. It's like they're just all evil to each other immediately. Okay. Well, you know, it's like they're just all evil to each other immediately. Okay. Okay. Well, I will say this. At the moment, I know, again, we've only seen one episode so far this season. I am firmly team Countess and so anti-Ramona it's ridiculous.

But before we get into our returning favorites, we also have to address the third new cast member, Aviva, who is known as the woman with half a leg missing. And that is just really unfortunate that that is her claim to fame because I actually love her. Well, I was under the impression that her claim to fame is that she is the dating Fran Drescher's brother. That is not the case. That is. That's Fran Drescher's

brother, isn't it? Yeah, but isn't that her husband or is she just dating him is what you're saying? Oh, is that a husband? Yeah, they're married with kids. They're married? Oh, well, look at her. She has Fran Drescher as a sister-in-law. Good for her. She just moved on up a little bit more.

Exactly. She'll probably have a better shot of getting on to Fran Drescher's show. Happily never married or whatever it's called. Yeah, I mean, she has a better shot than Heather from Real Housewives of OC reigniting her acting career. Heather Page-Kent. No longer Heather Page-Kent. I know. Nay, Heather Page-Kent.

Now Dubrow. Dubrow. Dubrow. I'm sorry. Well, no. So here's – I like Aviva. I have really nothing bad to say about her. You know, there was a lot with the leg.

Okay. Speaking of the leg, can we just like get there for a second? Yes. there was a lot with the leg okay okay speaking of the land can we just like get there for a second so like i think it's kind of crazy that she is willing during a mani pedi with cameras on her to explain her tragic accident i mean good for her that she's overcome that like i couldn't i just would never be able to overcome that because i'm you know a sad pathetic person and i would probably kill myself but was this entire 90 minutes not devoted to her chopped off leg to ramona's stillborn child to heather's baby with liver disease to heather's father who just died to carol's husband who passed away to cancer and to everybody else who got um diabetes and then went

blind like what the hell was going on there were a lot of illnesses going around i have to say but you know what though i you know i i i i thought there was a lot of harping on the leg and i didn't really see the big deal i mean like you know it was not it was really not too shocking to me i mean uh i thought it was good that aviva talked about it although the story behind it was sort of like interesting like there was like a something with a conveyor belt and like a farm i felt like it was like some deleted scene from Footloose or something like that. No pun intended. More like that was on purpose. You've rendered me speechless. I was going to say it sounds like something more from Saw, but your Footloose joke was an unintentional joke was even better. Everybody Footloose.

Gotta cut loose. Cut loose, footloose. I have a feeling that she could dance better than Julianne Hoff. Is that terrible? It's not terrible, and I think it's empowering. Okay, now let's talk about her handicap for one moment. We knew we were in for a good season premiere when the show pretty much opened up with Luann saying, you know, she's so poised and so graceful and so charming, you never would know she has a handicap. I know. has a handicap. I know.

What a quote. Luann, nobody can deliver like a tacky, evil, bitchy, amazing and truthful one-liner like the Countess Luann de la Seppe. I mean, she is just a force to be reckoned with. I mean, I couldn't believe she said that. I don't think she even realized what she was saying. She doesn't realize what she's saying. But know here's the crazy thing like a lot of people you look at the jersey cast and you think like oh the star of that cast is theresa you look at atlanta you say the star is nini some people might say kim you know i think a lot of people look at the cast of

new york and yes bethany's an alum at this point and a lot of people say ramona is the star of that cast i just have to say thank god they did not get rid of Luann. I think that she is TV fucking gold. Well, she is. I don't know if they couldn't get rid of Luann because Luann and Ramona are too amazing. Like, I don't even know that Ramona is considered the star. I often think of Luann when I think of New York, you know. I think of Luann first, then I think of Ramona.

Actually, honestly, back in the day, I thought of Jill. I thought Jill kind of summed it up all together. But now she's gone. Yeah, well, she screwed herself with that last season. So toodles, Jill. But anyway, let's talk about the Countess and Ramona. Clearly, there's still major issues. Last season, one of the big fights that we followed throughout the season was Ramona's way of criticizing Luann's parenting skills.

She said that she was only a weekend mom because obviously she was spending time in the city with her new boyfriend Jacques. And the kids were staying in the Hamptons where she only went for the weekend. She threw in a lot of other digs and then it got really nasty at the reunion and they were really going at it from separate couches. It doesn't seem like those wounds have healed. Do you think that they can ever patch things up, or where do you see this going in the next few weeks? They can never patch things up. Okay, let me ask you, though. Can they never patch it up because Ramona can't say I'm sorry, or because Luann would never forgive her?

I think it's both. I mean, first of all, these two women are so up their own asses that they both can't see how or why they piss each other off. Luann never sees how anything she says comes off wrong. And Ramona refuses to believe that, you know, refuses to apologize for anything because she feels like she's just saying the truth. But she doesn't realize she hides behind this idea that, like, you know that she shouldn't have to apologize for saying the quote-unquote truth. She doesn't think she can hurt anyone's feelings. But the thing is this. The reason why it will never work out is because they have like four seasons. This is season five, season six of New York.

I can't remember. This is five. This is five. They have four seasons of simmering tension that's so bad. This is five. And then was going off about how Luann was a slut, but Luann was on speaker, you know, all that stuff. I mean, I can go on. I can go on. And I am going on. The point is this.

There's too much bad blood. They will never be friends ever. Which makes for great TV. And I love that Luann thought the appropriate place to address the elephant in the room was during one of Sonia's cocktail parties at her townhouse, which is attached to a parking garage. Very glamorous, very glamorous, which I'm sure she doesn't even own anymore because she had to sell it to pay her debts, which are around, what, like $17 million? Good luck with that.

Somewhere in that area. Yeah, I mean, I loved it. Seeing Ramona and Luann go at it for the first time this season, it felt great. It felt like watching old rivals, like watching the Yankees and the Red Sox go at it. Oh, I was going to say MTV Real World Road Rules The Challenge because that's how excited I get. But the cherry on top was Ramona's eye makeup. Did you see that? Oh, yeah.

It was like blue, right? She had like pink lipstick. She looked like a Gem in the Holograms doll that got her head dunked in a vat of neon. It was crazy. She – I mean she – Ramona always outdoes herself every year. I'm only sad that in any of her confessionals she doesn't have big crazy hair like she did last season. Remember last season she had that 1980s thing going on with her hair was big and she had a big green spot. It was out of control.

It was amazing. with her i know she had a big she had a poof it was it was out of control it was amazing well speaking of the other party i definitely do you know sonia's party was a little lackluster because the girls didn't get too into it it's really where they were just introducing the new characters but the second party of the evening which was a dinner party that ramona and mario were hosting in the hamptons is where i thought more interesting stuff definitely happens. Well, so... Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world.

Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of

life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.

Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Well, for me, the best part about that dinner party, there were a few moments, was Heather, Mario, and Ramona getting into it. So the background on that was that Heather, much like me, interrupts people a lot. What? Wait, what did the av club say that you did to me um i think i steamroll you you steamroll and trample me although note that you actually just interrupted me to make that i'm taking back the night take back the night just like that or

he's getting on to his own steamroller okay um but it's only it's only because ronnie's not here um we are gonna steamroll each other, which sounds very inappropriate, but I think it's probably benign to say that. So off topic. No, but here's the thing. So they're talking. Heather is interrupting a lot, and she's also talking over people, and you don't get the sense that she's really listening. And Mario, getting fed up, makes a snide little comment, comment as he often does about how she's cut him off three times and then ramona turns to heather and says yeah you do do that by the way what says that to a guest in their own home who is not a good friend exactly

and so then heather though heather responds i was like oh well you know i was doing it because i it's funny because i noticed that you do that to me also. Well, here's the thing. I think that Heather said that just because she was pissed and that's how she, you know, kind of flipped it right there. She didn't – I mean she didn't really – I don't believe that she saw Ramona in that light. But as soon as Ramona, you know, kind of attacked her and was double teaming her with Mario, let's be honest, I like that she tossed it back at Ramona. Fuck you. Well, what was great was that what ensued then was one of the great passive-aggressive fights of all time. The three of these people – this is like – by the way, as much as these people are not wasps, this was a very waspy moment.

The three of them engaged in a very vicious attack on each other but with smiles on their face and like chuckling the entire time. And hair flips and cocktails. It was absolutely amazing. Like this is like a master class on how to be a wasp. It was like Christmas at my fucking house. Let me tell you. I felt like I was at the Whitfields because honestly there was – if I seem to remember, like they – Heather says, well, you talk a lot. And then they said something.

Well, I guess I'm – I guess you're a fast person. You're very fast. And I'm a New Yorker. I've got a lot of things to say. They start to veil it all in these weird euphemisms and everything, and they're laughing. But I'm like, these women are attacking each other with knives right now. It's amazing. And then, as usual, Ramona makes up some excuse.

And it's like, oh, I have to go check on meatballs and like runs out the door when aviva walks over it's like ramona is really looking for the escape route a lot already in just one in one episode and normally she's a bulldog and she stands her ground i don't know what's going to happen this yeah well but you know what the ramona you know i would have left also because it was an increasingly tense situation and who wants to stand that you know they sort of said their pieces so now this now let's get back to heather here because you mentioned something before about how um you know when ramona came out her heather went right back at it i feel like uh heather is a little bit of a princess and now here hear that let me speak this out um i think uh if you noticed whenever she got one-upped whenever she felt whenever she perceived that that she was being attacked or whatever.

She – it ruffled her feathers as it would anyone, but she really – it really made her mad. And then she would go on a little campaign behind basically Ramona's back and would basically smear her to death. But look, Ben, you know this. I mean this show and this franchise, it's all about having allies. And yes, allies can switch from episode to episode. They can switch from season to season. But with a new crop of cast members in there, I mean you can say the same thing about Luann when she had a decaf cappuccino in the last few seconds of the episode with the ladies where she just really wanted to talk shit about Ramona and then hit the pavement. I think what – I guess with Heather, the reason why it irks me a little bit more because the truth is they all do

this, but she is really super sweet and smiley to them. You know, she's really, she's, she goes above and beyond in the fake department, I think. And I think that's where it really rubs me the wrong way. Cause they all do this. I actually just think that she's kind of like smiley and giggly and laughy and maybe not the most brilliant person. So like it doesn't rub me necessarily the wrong way yet. It very well could in a few episodes or minutes.

But I don't know. By the way, dear listeners, for the record, I was on Team Gorga before Matt was. And I was on Team non-Cindy Barshop before Matt was. You were also on team Kathy way before me, too. Yes, so I'm anticipating that Matt will see the light and start to hate Heather. Okay, I'll see the light and start to hate Heather,

and you'll see the light and start to realize that Carol is the secret weapon. You know what? I am open to Carol. I will be open to Carol if you will be open to hating Heather. You know what? There is nothing I enjoy more than saying, yes, I'm going to be willing to hate somebody in a few weeks. So, like, I can commit to that fully.

I like this negotiation. It makes me feel very empowered. That works. It does work. But there were a few other highlights that we should probably – Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. I have to harp on Heather for one more thing.

We touched on it a little bit. But, I mean, can we talk about the fact that she's at Sonia's party and then she just says, well, my dad just died like five days ago. And Luanne's like, what? Why was she doing that? She was like, I know, crazy, right? Crazy. And then I love that it cuts to Miss Manners part two, Luanne in a confessional going like, honey, you just don't do that at a cocktail party. Yeah, exactly. But here's the thing.

Normally Luann is crazy and her Manners book, which I own and is autographed, is completely ludicrous. Luann nailed it on the head right there. I mean you don't talk about a dead dad like two days later at a cocktail party. And especially not in such a perky way i mean like at least show like some sadness or bring it up in a way that's a little makes a little bit more sense you know yeah it just didn't feel so right but i do think that she's kind of like mugging for the camera i mean again if you get lost in the shuffle cindy bar shop you're not going to last another season and these women all they want is to get another check from bravo and another contract that says you are welcome back for the following year so look yeah she has

to talk about the dead dad she has to talk about the liver disease for her baby she has to talk shit behind ramona's back guess what now she's in and we can't lose her yeah now um so in terms of the other things the episode i cut you off before when you were trying to transit to something else so what was the thing you were going to talk about which there's so many. I mean, where do you want to start? Do you want to talk about... I want to talk about Sonya for a second because here's the thing. The other highlight for me, and by highlight I mean terrible moment for

the women involved, was during Ramona's dinner party where Sonya was talking about her ex-husband, but sometimes she still refers to him as her husband, and Ramona cut her off and, in my opinion, embarrassed her in front of the entire dinner table. Not that the rest of those people are not horrifying. Including a date.

A potential date. Who, by the way, I thought was very cute. And he played tennis, which I'm obsessed with. So Sonya should have gotten on that. Matt, you have to start going to Ramona's house for dinner parties. Apparently I do, even though I know I would, you know, she would murder me in two minutes. But anyway, I just think that like, you know, and we did see this in the season preview, which we'll get to in full detail in a second here.

But I do think that Sonya and Ramona are going to start to butt heads this season. I think this was just the beginning. And I just think that Ramona is rude. Yeah, Ramona is, we didn't see enough of like the fun Ramona. We saw more of just like the evil Ramona. But, you know, she's been the evil Ramona for – we didn't see enough of the fun Ramona. We saw more of just the evil Ramona. But she's been the evil Ramona for a long time. I mean remember season one when she made her first splash? I mean remember that first dinner party, the first –

Yes. Like at Jill Zarin's house? I mean Ramona, she's a force to be reckoned with. But Ben, it's been a while since we've had turtle time. It's been like a tack dog for quite some time. Well, I think we're going to get some turtle time. And I have to say actually, Sonia, I was enjoying Sonia. I felt like this was like a little bit of a return to form for her because last season she became kind of bitchy and awful.

She was bitchy and awful and she got way too much into this burlesque crap. I mean I'm still glad and you must agree with me here that you're still glad to see that she is cooking up a storm in the toaster oven. Yeah, and by the way, at this very nice dinner party, did you happen to notice that they were serving pigs in a blanket? Oh, yeah. It was really classy. I was like, wait a second. At the same time though, it really made me want to have some pigs in a blanket. And funny story, I actually have some frozen ones in my freezer, but I haven't cooked them because I feel like to do that is sad.

If you made veggie ones, I would partake. Oh, my God. What do you think about this? We have to talk Hamptons for one quick second here. So what do you think about the fact that Ramona's house is gorgeous and is big bucks? Luanne has a glamorous house in the Hamptons as well. I found it very funny that every time somebody arrived at the party, they were like, oh, I rent a house, but I rent it for nine months out of the year. Or, oh, I don't want to dive into that pool.

Or, oh, yeah, I'm from upstate New York. I would never buy a house in the Hamptons. I'm a mountain girl. By the way, another Heatherism. Another Heatherism. Well, I'm from the Berkshires. I'm from the Berkshires. And by the way, that was also – that was before – by the way, that comment was before she got called out about interrupting when she made a dig about Ramona to Mario about Upstate New York.

She says, well, I know Ramona doesn't think there's anything up there, but there really is. It's like, bitch, you got to settle down there. Again, she's trying to make a good first impression, not necessarily with them but but with viewers. And I do think that that happened. But a few other highlights we must talk about. Victoria, Luanne's daughter, she had an art show out of Luanne's garage, and she was charging hundreds and thousands of dollars for her artwork, which featured pretty much robotic naked lady dead skull things. You know, I didn't think her art was that bad. I thought her art was actually pretty good, to be honest.

I thought it was fantastic, and I actually liked a few of the pieces. And had I been there, I would have spent $300 on a piece in a heartbeat just because she came from the blood of Countess Luanne. However, were you not disturbed slightly by some of the subject matter? No, I thought it was great that it was dark. Do you think it's because she comes from a dark place, a dark, broken home? Well, yeah, I would say so. I was more fascinated by Victoria. Like, she sort of changed over the years. She's sort of become a little more, a dark, broken home. I would say so. I was more fascinated by Victoria. She sort of changed over the years.

She's sort of become a little more, I don't know. I don't know the polite way to say this because she's underage. But she was perhaps more feminine in her youth. She's a little sturdy now. She's a little butch now, which is fine. I don't think she's a lesbian by any means. But she does love a – I you know her style used to be strictly equestrian chic and now i think she's moving into a goth phase now which i'm excited for fashion

wise i'm excited for it too but you know i have to say i was kind of i was really excited to see her develop into a wonderful new like waspy debutante. And to see her, now she's going in the artistic route, which is probably a better path for her. I have to say I'm disappointed, because I really wanted to see her, you know, going to... I was hoping that she'd go off to Choate, and from Choate to Yale, and... I was going to say, following her, like, you know...

I have his aspirations for her. ...is going to be amazing, because I'm dying to see where she ends up going. She'll probably go to, like, Sarah Lawrence at this point. You know, is going to be amazing because I'm dying to see where she ends up going. She'll probably go to like Sarah Lawrence at this point, you know, artists and all that. Then it will be full on Birkenstocks. Wait,

actually, you know who goes to Sarah Lawrence? It's Jill's, Jill's Aaron's daughter. Doesn't she go to Sarah Lawrence? Oh, well then Victoria better not show up there because Jill will not be having it.

No. Oh, well, no, no, Jill and, no, Jill and Luann get along just fine,

right? Well, I just don't think that Jill will have anything to do with luann now that luann's on the show and jill is off that's true well no i think that jill will actually try to i just always try to sort of like ride luann's coattails a little bit i'd say although she would probably say it's the other way around but yeah i mean because she owns zarin fabrics yeah well and oh here's another thing jill must be livid that her spanksx collection, whatever it's called, is not getting airtime. We totally have to talk about this. The yummy tummy thing is getting airtime.

How many – okay, look. We know that Bethany Frankel does the cocktails and then Ramona did the Ramona Pinot Grigio. That's just never going to stop. We're only going to see more and more nasty-ass drinks come out of these ladies. But Bethany has shapewear. Jill Zarin has shapewear. And Heather has shapewear. Like does this mean that Heather has the best shapewear now or she's just going to get the most screen time for it?

I will say this. To Heather's credit, when she had like her little staff meeting, she's the first, I think, housewife of all these women. Perhaps Candy Burris excluded, although it wasn't. Never mind. You mean owner of department store tags? Yes. She's the first one who seems to have, like, a legitimate staff. Like, she doesn't just have, like, one or two people and they sit, like, on a couch or they go to a coffee shop.

She has, like, a staff. She has, like, an office. Speaking of another slam that she delivered when she was talking to Ramona, she was like, yeah, well, I actually like to come into my office and like interact with my employees. Like I don't like to just work from home all the time. Like clearly that's what you do. Yeah. And then she slammed the learning annex. I'm like, Heather, be careful because next year you're going to be on the cover of that thing.

I was just going to say, yeah, if you don't play your cards right, you are going to be doing a weekly seminar. Oh, yeah. But look, you know, look, she was – I think she was the breakout of the three of them because look how much we were talking about her. Aviva, I did like Aviva though, and I have to say I like in the previews for the season some of the things that Aviva says, particularly – Okay, well, yeah. Let's talk. I mean before we get to Jersey, we have to talk. I mean our favorite thing, Ben, our favorite thing is always like – and coming up this season on The Housewives.

I mean there is – like they tease us so much with like 19 amazing things that are going to happen. So tell me a few of yours. We'll address a few of mine and then we'll move on. Well, I just really like when Aviva looks at the girls and goes, you're both white trash quite frankly. I love that. OK. That's the best thing ever. We just need to talk about that for a second because they showed that like weeks ago in the first previews and I immediately was like, oh shit.

I love this lady. Yeah. And I also love when Ramona goes, calm down. It's like she's channeling her inner Oprah. Yeah, exactly. There's so many great things. I love that. I think they all are fighting with each other.

I think the only one who's not fighting is Carol who who's probably off writing about the kardashians somewhere okay that's that is the problem with carol i don't care to read her interview with glamour and the kardashians but however um i was kind of surprised to see that you know after this premiere it seemed like aviva and heather were going to be allies bffs for the season but clearly that's not the case and i and i it seems like heather's going to be the one standing on the outside alone by the mid part of the season you know it's so hard to tell you you can never tell and the thing is the previews never really indicate the gravity of the fights i remember uh kelly ben simone's first season and you know all they they would

show the clip in the coming up the season of her saying, Bethany, like, I'm here, you're here. And you'd think, oh, it's just like a whatever. But when that fight came. And it was the biggest thing ever. It was the biggest thing. So that's going to be fun is gauging the severity of these fights. We also don't know, like, half of those moments could be in the next episode. You never know.

Well, one of them that will for sure be in the next episode is Luann confronting Ramona. Oh, their little meeting in the park? Their meeting in the park. It's like very Ingrid Bergman-like, you know, on a park bench, you know, very poetic. So the big story was that I guess a girl at – was it Noelle's birthday party? A girl passed out in the bushes at the Lesseps estate, and she was wasted, and they had to call an ambulance and get rid of her and she was only 15 well noelle was turning 15 so clearly they're all significantly underage and luann's like and she must have been drinking beforehand or snuck booze in i'm like yeah right

you know you were serving cocktails the way and god bless you god i was just saying any good she would probably her defense in court would probably be like well any good party has fabulous catering in an open bar. She was probably singing. She probably had her drag queen headdress on at that time at Jules Aaron's birthday party. And she's probably singing songs to all the kids, serving them champagne, pretending they're in Paris. So I guess this girl passed out, and then Luann tells the story. And you could tell Luann was mad because she, her face was angry. She got like the creepy trembles and Luann doesn't get the creepy trembles.

Yeah, she does not. And so I guess apparently Ramona called up Luann and said, stop trying to make me apologize because if you do, I'm not afraid to go there because I know things about your kids or something like that. Yeah, but OK. something like that. Yeah, but okay, I think that what that I mean, that wasn't just about like, hey, clearly, you're a bad mom. And you throw parties where there's underage drinking and children are like dying in your bushes. I think that she was also hinting at a few other things that she probably does know about Noel and Victoria through her Hampton spies, which no doubt she has, because she has all the money in the world, and she can afford them. But like, I do want to say maybe less than a year ago, there was, you know, money in the world and she can afford them. But I do want to say, maybe less than a year ago,

there was stuff in the news about Victoria making racial comments about her using marijuana. So diehard viewers and listeners of our podcast know that Victoria maybe does have a little bit of a salacious past. Listen, it does not take a genius to figure out that perhaps Victoria and perhaps Noel, who was neglected since he was a child on Taco Night, as we remember. Yes. They are kids who come from wealthy parents who had a very public divorce. It does not take a genius to realize that perhaps they might have some dark phases coming up for them. You know, so perhaps they might go. That's why that's why this artwork

and the art show was fantastic and that's also why like i'm not surprised that ramona has dirt on them but let me ask you this you know it's something that we see every time with uh during the reunions for any one of the franchises for housewives and the women get very very very upset when you start talking about the kids. I'll give you an example. Recently, Sheree kind of was talking smack about NeNe's son shoplifting, and NeNe was about to stomp her fucking head in. So, like, where do you think that there is a line drawn, a line not drawn? In my opinion, again, I don't have kids yet,

so I'm standing over here on the sidelines and I'm saying, look, you're dumb enough to put your child on the show. All fair game. But what's your take? I think that still – even if someone else is dumb enough to put their kid on the show, you should probably go with a moral high ground and not make fun of the kids. Although this is coming from me who was just saying it's saying some things about victoria and noel but the truth is this you know whenever we talk about the kids i generally try to keep it maybe critical but respectful you know um i think that these women some of them do go in for the kill

and make judgmental make some very judgmental things but then again so do i so but you know i'm not on the show though and there you know and see, I feel like when we're as bloggers or podcasters, I think the kids are to a certain degree fair game because these women are putting their kids out there and their parenting skills out there. So I think it's fair game for us to talk about it and be like, I don't like whatever she's doing, whatever, with the understanding that these women are sort of being portrayed in a certain way. They're kind of like characters to us. They're not real people. women are sort of being portrayed in a certain way. They're kind of like characters to us. They're not real people. But for their other cast members who know them as real people and who have the

power to affect what we kind of see, I think it's probably best to put a muzzle on it. No, I totally hear you. I mean, I love the fact that Crazy Ramona's already making threats which are making Luann

just jump off a bridge almost here and you know because of the kids I just you know the shows would not be as powerful as they are I'm talking about them like they're Pulitzer Prize winning or like Emmy winning shows they should be but they wouldn't be as powerful if the kids

were not a part of the equation here and at this point Bravo kind of is making sure that if you do come on the show, we get access to your kids, your significant other, your pets, your maids. It's the whole shebang because to be honest with you, like I don't like that we don't see Sonya's daughter. Yeah, I think that's weird because it actually – it sort of colors your perception of the people in certain ways. your perception of the people in certain ways. Right, and the goal of this show as a viewer is for us to sit back and judge them and

look at rich people and watch them fall and watch them fuck up and that's what we want to do. We want to judge the complete person not the person without their child. We want to judge them as terrible parents. Yeah, I can only judge Sonia as a dummy who puts her

fists her blackberry up a toilet and takes off her clothes and sleeps with strange men and cooks out of a toaster oven. As a fixation of the toaster oven. And by the way, I still am waiting for her novel about – what was that? Wasn't she writing a novel about something – a mysterious lover – like a woman having a mysterious lover or something like that? She was doing a whole hell of a lot of things, which I don't think came to fruition because now – She missed out on the Fifty Shades of Grey boat. I'll tell you that much. Clearly.

But as we saw in the season preview, I think that her only real goal this year is to sue the shit out of her ex-husband and take all of his money so that she can keep her house and keep her lifestyle. Good for her. and take all of his money so that she can keep her house and keep her lifestyle. Good for her. Well, speaking of kids and good portrayals, et cetera, et cetera, why don't we use this moment to transition to New Jersey? Because really, of all the housewives, family and children play the strongest role in this one. And I thought this episode, this week's episode, this super gay episode,

actually had a lot of very sweet moments moments actually and yeah it totally did i mean we do have to say here that look you know just because new york is starting and it is our secret love child and we are obsessed with it jersey is not that far into the season i mean we still have a hell of a way to go with jersey and you know there's still a ton of fireworks so we're still obsessed with that as well and last night you know the episode didn't have too much going on besides all the gay stuff which we'll get into in a second but it was kind of a more muted you know nicer quieter family oriented episode and i enjoyed that like i still was through i was totally you know enthralled even though it wasn't like Cat Fight Central. Exactly.

Well, because you know what, though? They've got a great balance of characters on there right now. And I think, honestly, the emotional centerpiece of the show was Rosie talking about coming out of the closet and telling that to Victoria. That's her name, Victoria. And Joseph, her niece and nephew. It was really, honestly, it was a very sweet and moving moment. It really was. It definitely was.

I mean, she was talking about how, you know, her father, who's now deceased, was, you know, very concerned for Rosie being one of his daughters, you know, that she wasn't going to get married and perhaps that had connotations of being taken care of as an adult. And, you know, I just thought it was like a really touching moment. I know that we talk a lot of shit on this podcast and we are total bitches. And I just really thought that last night's Jersey's Jersey episode was totally sweet. I love Kathy. I love Rich.

I love that he would never think anything about, you know, not letting his kids spend more time with Rosie. He just thought that it was like a great thing for her to be honest and it don't it really only made all of them closer to be honest i mean i think uh the way kathy got so emotional talking about rosie the way she talked about the pain that rosie must have gone through etc it was honestly very moving and i watched with a friend and she was tearing up quite a bit as she should i mean kathy loves her sister rosie and i just i really like their

relationship kathy is she is the best mom the best on all these shows she's the best mom she's probably the best mom on reality tv i i might give you that i might give you that but i will say that like you know i'm totally rooting for rosie i'm glad that she's a part of the show i know that andy cohen likes her and that she'll continue to be part of the show. Let me ask you this. Could a single lesbian ever be a permanent cast member and elevated to housewife status? I think theoretically, yes, but we have yet to find the one. You know, they did try on OC last season to have that lesbian. Don't get me started with that, Jim. Fernanda.

Fernanda. But you know what, though? Here's the thing. This is going to sound really stereotypical. Would you not love to see Rosie going on dates? I would love to, but here's the thing. I think they want the women to be somewhat glamorous, and unfortunately, Rosie sort of lacks in that department. But she's great, and I love the way she interacts with people.

I love the way she talks to people. And I love the way she interacts with people. I love the way she talks to people. I thought it was really funny when she was in the hot tub and Cliff Robinson's wife was hitting on her, and that was very strange. I love Rosie. I love the Gorgas. I love the Wakilas. They're all – I feel like they're just good, fun people.

I totally – I could never imagine – I totally want to hang out with the Gorgas. Don't you? Don't you want to go to a party with them? I would love to, although I have to say I cannot imagine for my life my parents ever doing any of the things that were going on in that hot tub, you know? Ben, little do you know. I know. Exactly.

And I really don't want to think about that. And I feel bad for these kids who have to see their parents do all this stuff in a hot tub on TV. What about Joe Gorga flashing his junk while he was changing the street right in front of the camera what was that about he must be very proud he's you know because he knows he's a good looking guy and that people like him and you know whatever i say more power to him that right now he is in a he he can almost do no wrong he can do no wrong he he can do wrong but he can almost do no wrong yeah he, he and Melissa are like a perfect spot right now. But let's transition over to the other side.

You're right. Then we got Teresa and Joe Giudice. And so the other part of the story was that Caroline's gay brother was getting gay married and in their like fairytale house in Chicago. And this guy invited the Manzos, obviously. And then he also invited Teresa and Joe. And first of all, before we get to Teresa and Joe, Dina was invited and did not go because there's this feud with Caroline.

And what we got the, we finally got some insight into it, which is that Teresa allegedly told Dina that Caroline was going, said that she was going to undermine any opportunity that came Dina's way. And so now they have a big feud. Well, here's the crazy thing. Like when I watched the show earlier on, you know, when Dina was a full-time cast member, I kind of liked Dina and I kind of thought that she was reasonable. But if she is truly siding with Teresa over Caroline, she's completely nuts too. Yeah, that's exactly like, why would she believe Teresa

about all this? And also, I have to say, I was a little offended that not all of Caroline's siblings came to this wedding. Okay, look, there are 11 siblings. Caroline was there, her brother Chris, who is Jacqueline's husband, was there, and the gay brother

who was getting married. The others were not there. Apparently the wedding was thrown together kind of last minute, but I don't think that matters. But you do what you got to do for family, but I sound like a person from Jersey. What is going on? But don't you think it was kind of weird? I mean do you think it has something to do with the fact that they don't – they're not down with the homos or what was the deal? It could have been that. I mean it was – it does sound like it was thrown together quickly probably at the behest of the producers but um right because they were

like we're gonna pay for it so you might need to have it next week while we're still shooting yeah and quite frankly i just i do believe that like you can't talk about how close your family is whatever i don't care if there's 11 siblings whatever a wedding is a wedding and if it's your sibling you show up only three of them were there and the mom i just thought it was completely bizarre but do you do you think that there's any i mean we'll never know this but do you think there's any chance that people are not fond you know some of the siblings are not fond of caroline or maybe she's becoming a bit of a diva now that she's a tv star because i think that that part of it or maybe they're not maybe they're not comfortable being on camera too

and some of them might even be Team Dina. You never know. Exactly. Well, anyway, so we're rapidly running out of time. So let's go on to Teresa and Joe. And so, you know, Teresa, well, I mean she's just awful in general. But the big signature moment for them, I think, was that on the bus, they were on a shuttle or a party bus back from the rehearsal dinner back to their hotel. Joe Giudice, of course, is drunk.

And finally I think – this is the first time I think someone has finally mentioned that he may have a drinking problem. Caroline in her confessional says that he has a drinking problem, which – or she goes he may have a drinking problem. She said he's a shell of a man who she met four years ago and he seems very troubled. He seems very troubled, very dark, and he probably has a drinking problem which i kind of liked that caroline went there because yeah i like it's about time somebody said it yeah i liked it no i have to say i'm loving this season watching the decline of this friendship i think it's totally fascinating knowing where it's where it's going to be and watching it erode has been great and so then and jojo dice makes some ridiculous comment to greg the resident gay

about how he has he probably has the loosest asshole of them all actually i would think that joe judas has the loosest asshole because i think he spent the most time in jail out of everyone here so he's probably taking it up the ass but according to jacqueline he's above the law which he clearly is and then you know actually caroline had actually a great oh it was a caroline was a kathy had a great um i think it was kathy. It was a Kathy. Had a great – I think it was Kathy. Had a great confessional. I forget what she said, but she had like amazing comic time where she said like she prolonged this thing where she was like zip, none, zero. Do you remember what that was for?

That was an amazing moment. It was Kathy. It was Kathy, and they let that camera hang on her. It hung so long, and it was fantastic. So I just want to give kudos to kathy for once again doing a great job and being the best person of all time okay well let's talk about i mean so next week we didn't actually see the wedding it was all lead up it was more like rehearsal dinner so next week we're actually going to see the wedding and apparently like

you can already tell caroline is seething you know, because Teresa is there at this family thing. She can't she cannot handle it. So I think next week, Teresa makes a comment about Caroline's hat, which does look hideous. And that maybe sets Caroline off or something. I just have to say this. Look, I hate Teresa with all of my being. And her husband, Joe, is the nastiest person ever on reality TV. joe is the nastiest person ever on reality tv but do you not think at this point that caroline is like caroline is i'm worried is not going to make as good of tv as she used to because she's

kind of just like pissed and i need her to fight with theresa otherwise she's getting there she's getting there but don't you think she's just like she's like getting to be like an old lady who's just like complaining about everything you know theresa the way theresa operates is terrible the way she wants to sweep everything under the rug and have positivity and love and just move forward but caroline is harping on some old shit and i feel like caroline doesn't need to get over a few things well here's the thing we've always um suspected this that what caroline's really mad is about what happened to punta cana that was never shown on tv And that would honestly be enough to make you that mad. And quite frankly, as we saw in season one, you push Caroline enough, she eventually snaps.

Must I remind you of her famous, let me tell you something about my family, okay? So Caroline, she will get there. Just wait. Just, you know, she's like an old lawnmower. We're just revving her up. But soon she'll be cutting that grass down. She did say that she is a ticking bomb. She didn't even say

the phrase is ticking time bomb, but she only said ticking bomb. It kind of annoyed me. But anyway, she's a ticking bomb. She's a bomb. Let me ask you this. Jacqueline, does she need to be there? A lot of people don't like Jacqueline and don't think that she brings anything to the story. I still love her. I just

miss, however, that Ashley is not living under her roof because that's where the good juice is. Yeah, Jacqueline is pretty useless, although she's had some funny comments this season. So she's somehow, like, endured herself to me a little bit. Hey, she hosted Field Day, so you've got to give her some credit there. She did, and she is capable of being super passive-aggressive when she needs to be.

And, of course, she has to be there because she gets into such a fight with Teresaa that she doesn't show up at the reunion so so true so we have more okay um do we have anything else on jersey or can we do real quick okay no i have a few more things to talk about okay go um number one yes kim d's breasts when she sat down to have with theresa go Go. Oh, my God. It was like two greasy tangerines, okay? Coming out of her armpits. Coming out of her armpits. She's just not pleasant to look at.

Although I will say thank goodness for her for sort of telling Teresa that she should go to therapy with her brother. And by the way, here, another example of why Teresa is awful. This guy, this poor guy reaches out to her and says, says we should do therapy together and she pretty much is like saying no she is awful she's an awful woman um don't you like how she also called it physical therapy yes two some moments last night she called it physical therapy and then she also didn't know the word for trunk as in tree trunk yeah that was she's... She's a genius. Thank you for reminding me of that, because when I saw that, I was like, I have to make a mental note to bring this up on Watch What Crappens. And I would have forgotten had it not been for you, Matt Whitfield. Okay, last topic, because it's always our favorite topic when talking about Jersey before we move on for two seconds about OC.

Melania, the Tasmanian Devil. She is out of control. I mean, she's a disaster. She is a nightmare, that girl. She will be in jail with her father. They will have a little crime ring together, perhaps. Now, that is a reality show that I would watch. Yeah.

She is a nightmare. And she will – was she the one eating the makeup? Or was that the – I almost called her Audrina. Audriana. Audriana. Yeah, Audrinaana Patrick came in. I was just going to say, Adriana Patrick is free to eat makeup. Her schedule is kind of open.

Okay, we have gone very long, but we do need to talk about OC really quickly, and then we will wrap things up. OC, to me, has kind of been sucking this season, and now with New York in the mix and Jersey still on fire, like, I kind of don't care. However, the ladies did end up in Costa Rica, and fireworks were started. Well, first of all, I think OC's been all right. I think it's been better than last season. Second of all, it is kind of, you know, I think it was funny that Alexis Bellino only went down there for two days. I mean, if you're going to travel all the way down to Costa Rica, which, as we all know, is in Mexico, you might as well make a whole week of it, by the way. Jesus doesn't let her out of her chains for more than 48 hours.

So, Dad, did you notice – so she made a whole big stink, by the way, when they were ziplining. She was acting like she was a ziplining pro. And then when it finally came time for her to zipline, she was scared to hell. But then when she finally did it, I don't know if you noticed it, she was like maybe – they were like five feet above the ground. It was like a very shallow zip line. Did you see that? Yeah. Most zip lines are like in treetops like hundreds of feet in the air and are absolutely scary.

There's no way they were more than like ten feet off the ground. Yeah. I mean the later ones looked like they were much higher. But that first one, they were like – it was like me like zip lining like over my couch. OK? It was like as benign as could be you know which we should try next week we will do that we'll put that'll be on a podcast so anyway though the real the real story here was that um they all ganged up on alexis at dinner and i loved it

well you know alexis is like a great you know she's a moron but here's the problem like i don't like people punching on her because she can't defend herself like you know we've seen so many fights in the housewives history but at least they're like fair fights this is not a fair fight yeah but i think you know what those what she has in her corner is jesus and righteousness so it kind of is a fair fight because that's true because Jesus trumps all. And by Jesus, I mean her husband, Jim. Yeah, exactly. She's got so much righteousness that I'm kind of down with them all, all ganging up on her, you know, but you know, I, I will have to say though, she made all, she, she only made one salient point, but I had to agree with it was when she turned to Tamara and was like, why do you have to be so mean? And you know what? She's right. Tamara does not. Tamara is a mean witch.

She really is. They are so mean to this girl. I don't know why Eddie is with Tamara. I mean, Eddie clearly wants to be on TV maybe because he thinks he's a model actor. But, like, Tamara is pure evil. Pure evil. But I do love the way that Heather tried to sort tried to sort of like get you know heather who's trying to be all sophisticated was more than happy to get the ball rolling on this confrontation

with alexis and you know what i thought it was i i thought it was great because you know what alexis did need to be called out because they do they have a rolls royce a phantom a this or that i mean they're just ridiculous and then the car changes like every two weeks they move houses constantly i mean it does not make sense and clearly Fox 5 is not paying her a ton for her Emmy-worthy segments. So, I mean she's totally pretentious. There's no doubt about that. Peggy was getting really into the good stuff at the end of last season with that and now Peggy is gone. So we're not going to bash Alexis, that might be a problem because it makes me believe that she's falling under the brainwashing of Tamara.

And I do not want Gretchen to be – no, I know Gretchen was not bashing, but I know that her relationship with Alexis is now strained, which makes sense because Alexis is a moron. But I don't want it to be the Gretchen and Tamara. I don't want them to become BFF. I cannot stand the thought of that. Yeah, that's definitely not the best. But on the plus side, now you might get the Vicky and Alexis show, which is kind of salvo. I don't know. I don't know about that all i want to see is all i all i watch oc for

anymore now is to watch brianna tell her mom how stupid and awful she is and that she's with the wrong man yeah well that's that's almost good enough almost almost look i think that the os i'm imagining the oc season is about to wrap up right because they're on their big vacation so yeah we have about five more episodes i'd say yeah okay so there's still there's still plenty of time do not worry do not worry listeners we still have a lot to to handle um and um you know we're gonna get more craziness from costa rica tomorrow night on the show which we will talk about next week but um do you have any other main points before we kind of wrap this up? Yeah, you know, I don't have any other main points about OC. I mean, it's just, you know, it's Alexis.

She's an idiot. That's what it always comes down to. It always comes down to that. Well, let me ask you this. Tardy for the Party just had huge rating. Or not Tardy for the Party. Oh, we have to talk about this. I'm sorry.

We have to talk. Okay, I'm glad I brought it up because I'm still watching this and it's actually fantastic. And the ratings are through the roof. The ratings for Kim's sp about this. I'm sorry. We have to talk about Kim and the Rays. Okay, I'm glad I brought it up because I'm still watching this, and it's actually fantastic, and the ratings are through the roof. The ratings for Kim's spinoff, Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding, are actually better this week than some of the OC Housewives original broadcasts. Now, that baffles me because, contrary to you, I think the show is a piece of shit. But that may also be because— Oh, it is. It is a piece of shit. But that may also be because – Oh, it is. It is a piece of shit, but I like him. I don't love shows about people getting married and their process.

But whatever. We're not going to talk about that. We've talked about that aspect of the show many times. We're going to talk about her hair and the wig coming off. Kathy Griffin mentioned this on her show, which followed immediately afterwards, which is that they kind of expected it to be like a bald, thinning hair, ogre head or something. No, you expected her to look like Dr. Kimberly Shaw Mancini on Melrose Place when the lightning struck and Marcia Cross ripped off her wig and she had scars and a demented face. That's what we were promised.

Yeah, but instead, she actually had perfectly lovely lovely hair and then it actually made me mad. Why are you wearing these stupid ass wigs that are so big and make you look like an idiot and you have this really nice hair? I mean, admittedly her haircut was a little conservative. It looked sort of like Texas to me, but she has nice hair. She does not need a wig.

I think it looks better than any of her wigs. Listen, you might think that I'm a horrible person, which I kind of am. I am not for like the fillers and the Botox. I am so pro hair extension. You have no idea. I thought her real hair was so flat and so Texas and that she needs massive wigatry. Well, she can – but here's the thing.

Fine. Add extensions. I don't care about that. But a wig has a heavy look to it it looks you can see a wig and i don't think it's a nice look then it goes with her big diamonds her big boobs and her big ball of lifestyle she looked so much more sophisticated with her with her normal hair she really did she could do something like that she looked like a real i mean i was made her look older like a real old housewife but But that's only because of the way it was styled.

If she grew out her hair properly in a more youthful haircut, she would look fantastic. I think her hair – she looks better with flat hair than big, wavy volume for sure. I love some volume. We'll agree to disagree on this. What do you think about the funny like little Ariana Brielle segments that they toss in with them like cooking or being silly. I just, I like those girls. I like her kids. Well, I like, I like Ariana.

I always say that she's a little angel and she's going to be ruined by this entire reality show process. Brielle is already a lost cause. Yeah, that's probably true. We have to wrap this up though. As much as, as much as I'd love to start bashing some more kids. Okay. Well, the good news is we have a lot of New York coming at us. The entire season five is still under wraps, but we just saw the premiere.

It was fantastic. Still more Jersey. Still a few more OC episodes, which means we're getting close to that reunion. And this summer we are going to have the return of Flipping Out. And we're also going to have Million Dollar Listing LA, which I'm secretly obsessed with, Team Madison Hildebrand. And you know what? Next episode, we didn't talk about this one. But you know what?

Next episode, why don't we talk about the new Summer by Bravo commercial? Let's pin that for next week. Let's totally do that because Madison is looking mighty fine. All right. So thanks, everyone, for listening. Matt, always lovely chatting with fine. All right. So thanks, everyone, for listening. Matt, always lovely chatting with you. Thank you.

And hopefully we'll be reunited as a threesome with Ronnie next week. Yes. Let's tell everybody where to follow us on Twitter. I'm at Life on the M List, Ben. I'm at B-Side Blog. And don't forget to check out some of the other shows on the Sideshow Network. And thank you guys for listening, and we'll be back to do it again next week. Great.

All right. Bye. Bye, guys. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free

with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.