Watch What Crappens - Revisiting the RHOA Series Premiere - Live from Atlanta!

Episode Date: August 27, 2018

We took our show to Atlanta over the weekend, and what better way to celebrate the hottest town in reality TV than by taking a trip in the wayback machine and revisiting the first episode EVER of "Real Housewives of Atlanta"? This was back when Nene and Kim were friends (and had different faces), when Deshawn Snow had hope, and Lisa Wu Hartwell was, well, a thing. We had SO MUCH FUN recapping this episode, and to make things even better - we had four special cameos from Lea Black, Kate Chastain, Kelly Dodd, and Lisa Rinna to celebrate Ronnie's birthday! You cannot miss this episode, and honestly, you can't miss our live shows either. Be sure to buy tix at http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins, What crap bins, what crap bins, Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Rapins Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me shortly is my lovely wonderful co-host Ronnie Karim. We were in Atlanta this weekend. We had the most amazing time and the plan was to come back today and recap the latest shots of sunset episode which aired a few days ago. But the thing is we watched it and it was a super sad episode. It was about MJ losing her father, which is really

devastating. And it was a very touching portrayal. The whole episode was really about the friends coming together to be there for MJ and to reflect on her father and loss and death. And basically it was like a watcher crap in his mind field. Sure we probably could have made an episode out of it. We probably could have found the funny. We probably would have made some like snarky bitchy comments about Morgan or Nima saying that he was realizing that he needs more gold in his life because Mike is showing him the light Which is like the saddest sentiment of all time

We could have done a lot of that, but we we really felt like you know what let's just put a pin in that and we'll just come back to Shaz later this week with a new episode and it's actually perfect because when we were in Atlanta We recorded a second episode because when we were in Atlanta, we recorded a second episode. We recorded a recap of the very first ever episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. And we had an amazing time, and we were originally going to release that. It's just a bonus episode. But we figured, you know what? Rather than do Shaws, the Super Sad Shaws episode, let's release the Atlanta episode on

the main podcast feed because it deserves to be heard It was Atlanta and Atlanta now just a heads up something happened with our recording device and We lost like six minutes like sort of at the at the front end of the show No big deal didn't didn't impact any of the recap But we just sort of lost some fun banter about being in Atlanta There's probably some other really fun pattern that we forgot You know, it's now lost in the ether

But hey, that's why you got to come to the live shows because you never know What you might see in the live shows may only be seen and heard in the live shows You guys don't want to hear me talk this much. It's ridiculous. So let's just move on to the Atlanta show It'll be super fun. We're gonna love it. Enjoy So let's just move on to the Atlanta show. It'll be super fun. We're gonna love it. Enjoy Wow, thank you guys so much Wow, so we obviously just did one of these right and it was so much fucking fun and happy you were still here. Oh my god. Oh My god

It's part two. It's part two I'm so glad we're doing Atlanta first episode in this yeah in Atlanta We see Gar I see a garish t-shirt Gorge Wait, I have to say this also we saw backstage. We were looking on social media, and we saw what might have been that bitch. We saw what might quite possibly have been the greatest caution that has ever come to a watch or crap in a live show.

Someone came dressed as Kim Zolciak on Instagram, whoever you are, that was the most brilliant thing we've ever seen. So, kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill. And you know, he ain't gonna know a lot some... We're taking a photo of you later. He's like, this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Yeah. So you guys... And it's so sad because he's like, oh my god, look, John McCain died.

This is the most amazing Kim Zollsie act. He's like, wait a minute. It was getting dark back there. It was getting dark. You guys, welcome was like, wait a minute. It was getting dark back there, it was getting dark. You guys, welcome to Watch or Crap Ins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. Cheers.

I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. We've known so many of you for so many years on LInterneto. And to get to meet you in real life is really awesome. So thank you for being our friends for so long We've got so many TV guys and people here Trash talk TV people. I mean it is so great one of my best friends Annabelle Desisto flew in here Annabelle Desisto of Adderall and compliments is here with her gorgeous mother Nancy and Annababel is wearing an ASEC Haftan. So representing Bravo. Love Annabel.

Her podcast is Adderall and Compliments, as if you don't know, but go check that out. It's my girl. Now, for those of you guys who were unable to attend the early show, here's what happened. We spent the first half talking about- Sue, what's up? Talking about sharding. And we spent the second half stacking things on our head. So it's great. I'll say this.

I'll say this. Yeah. And you may also be wondering, why is there a lovely cave? They made this cave. Is the lady here? Oh my god, the cave was amazing. We already have a slight flushes. The cave was amazing.

I love you. The cave was amazing. Thank you. And the reason why there is a cake here is because today is Ronnie Carrams birthday You guys thank you so much for supporting Tito's the way you have tonight I mean the love you've given me is always you know touching. I mean I even squirted some outer layer Given me as always, you know, touching, I mean, I even squirted some out earlier. Yeah. Which I'm mortified by, so thanks. But really, thank you guys, and thank you my lovely, life partner.

You're welcome. Now earlier, the Internet lives with you, no. Now I'm sorry to report that if you didn't come to the early show, what you actually missed was a surprise birthday message from one Leanne Lockins, Dorotic Haram. But the good news, the good news is we still have some more messages. Surprise, birthday message from one Leanne Locken to Ronnie Carram. But the good news is we still have some more messages for Ronnie. Ronnie, you gotta come back to the front of the stage. You thought you were off the hook.

We have a few more. We have to come to the front because we can't see the screens from back there. It's not like we're gonna do a tap number So okay Can you have a do you have a view do you have a view okay? All right, so we have some more birthday messages for Ronnie And they're gonna start off the messages are gonna start off from one of our great friends the podcast Who was just on to nice ago miss? So Carl Carl you can rotate on video too. Oh, I heard it's your birthday, Ronnie.

I'm just so excited that it's your birthday. If anybody doesn't want to celebrate your birthday, Ronnie, I'm just going to slap them with my purse. I'm so happy for you. Here's your little birthday tree, Ronnie. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you, Ronnie. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Ronnie. I wish I could be there celebrating with you. Great to see you. You're having a great time. Halo is clearly exhausted. Halo.

Do you want to wish, Ronnie, happy birthday? You know Ronnie. You always listen to him. When I'm mopping you on his podcast, we love listening to you guys. Hi Ben, happy birthday Ronnie. Ronnie happy birthday, we're at Belize at the Beach Cheers. Cheers. I was recording my session as a kai kai.

Oh my goodness. So we are here in our neighborhood. Ronnie, I know you should come by my house to the old crib you've been there before, but I just wanted to wish you a happy, happy birthday and I miss you and I'm just hanging out with you and Katie and Becky and let's get together. Really a quite woman.

We got people here, yo. We got people. We got friends. We got friends. We got friends. Yes. Alright. Let me see you. Love you.

Bye. Happy birthday, Ronnie. It's fun. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. That's Lisa Rina. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday, Ronnie. So for those listening at home, that was Leah Black, Kate Chastain, Kelly Dodd, and Lisa Rina, all wishing happy birthday to Ronnie. Oh my god. home that was Leah Black, Kate Chastain, Kelly Dodd, and Lisa Rina, all wishing happy birthday to Ronny. Oh my god. I want the Lisa Rina filter.

That bitch looks amazing. Yeah. Thank you so much. That was so nice. Anya Mio. And no, wasn't Kimi? No, I know, Benio. Benio.

No, I have to say this though. I don't know if you could hear Lisa Rina, but she said, happy birthday, you fuck. But I just crawled up Lisa Vanderpump's asshole and died. How are you? How are you? Happy birthday to you. I've never been told to go fuck myself in such a fun way. Yeah.

So, thank you all. I really don't like you. I really don't like you. You're just like her now. Own it, baby. Thank you. That is amazing. And you've got to love that Leah Black is hawking her handbag in the video.

Yes. How she knows. Fucking Leah, I love her. Great is hawking her handbag in the video. Yes, as she knows. Suck in Leah, I love her. Great. Thank you so much. So, yes, yes. So, you guys, so obviously tonight we are all gathered here in Atlanta, which we're loving, by the way. Well, this is super annoying.

Our audio file from the show broke up, but unexpectedly stopped. And when it resumes, it's about six or eight minutes later. So unfortunately, you miss all our conversation about the fact that we were staying in the same hotel that they filmed several Atlanta reunions in. And who knows, we probably talked about swinging Richards again. We talked about how crazy it was to be in Atlanta or a capping in the house of Atlanta and how, you know,

how things had changed, yada, yada, yada. Nothing too important, probably some funny moments. And I think where we pick it up again, Ronnie was sweating or something, and I started dabbing his forehead with something on the table, and then I realized it was a diaper that was left over from the baby brewing discussion from earlier in the evening at the Dallas episode show. So that's where we're at. Chris, I like diapers.

Dippers are great. In Atlanta, we use diapers. Yeah. Thank you for this, by the way. Yeah. So we start with Lisa Wu, who's like, if it doesn't make me money, I don't do it. So now we know she was paid nothing for Atlanta. I know you're on season one of Atlanta. You paid to actually do this. You know what I mean?

I mean, Dishon. Dishon was a one season wonder, but God. The one that got away. I mean, she really did get her back. Find a shan at whatever parking lot of Wendy's that she's living in. She's a pastor now. And bring her back to this show. I need her back. Yeah. Do you guys remember the episode where

she'd do that big fundraiser? To raise $1 million. I mean, that's one of those times where it really reaffirmed my knowledge, not even belief, my knowledge. A positive attitude doesn't mean shit, okay? You can envision whatever you want. Get a job. Get a job. I'm going to say it 30 times today.

Well, the best part about DeShawn, obviously, one hit wonder, one season wonder, and you know, she's like one of the most forgotten housewives of all time, but everything she says, and everything she does in this premiere is so like woefully deluded. Even her tagline, she's like, I always knew I was destined for greatness.

So did half the boys we met last night. They're going to make it someday. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. So then Neenie, I did not, you know, Neenie has really changed over the years. Facially dentistically. I mean, Nini has had like new eyeballs put in.

Like, she's literally a whole different human. She's been upgraded. Yeah, she is like so different. She's like a Terminator. But really, Nini's soul, I think, has always been Nini. And it is so many things I thought came later. We're right here here the sound effects Yeah, like there was one point today show where she was like

But what is she doing yeah, and she just commits the whole time she's so needy I mean she's Neenie with terrible hair and like a five dollar dress, but she's still Neenie You know, it was the Neenie we fell in love? It was the Neenie we fell in love with. There was the Neenie we fell in love with. That's her. And it's like, I don't remember the feeling when I watched this first episode. Of course you take Neenie off the list. Like of course she did.

It's like a logical reaction to you, you know? If you're a producer, yeah, so good. So her tagline is, I don't keep up with the Joneses. I am the Jones is She's like something like a fire through the well. Yeah, it's like her own aerobics class just snapping in circles It's like hypnotized like you're like That was I mean that was one one of the early sassy tag lines. I may have ushered in the current era of sassy tag lines.

I don't know, I'm not enough of a student of the tag line. Oh, let's just give Neenie credit for it. Yeah. Why don't we? Oh, I guess all my tag lines mean nothing to you. Oh, no, no. Hashtag tag lines and friends. Oh, no.

Oh, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. So then Kim, now girl. Kim Zulciac. One of the most awkward things about tonight is knowing that Kim is in danger. Like anyone who knows Tsushamadiyah, that bitch, knows that Kim is in danger. I mean, her face.

I don't even know what to say about it. knows that Kim is in danger. I mean, her face. Yeah. I don't even know what to look. I don't know what to say about it, OK? I can make a shitty judgment on really any stoplights. I'll go on to half an hour about how they change their own house. Well, there's stuff to say about stoplights. There is.

It's a lot. It's a lot. I feel like they changed a lot. I mean, all the time. They changed the time of the yellow light just to give you a ticket. Like seriously, I'll bitch about. But Kim, I'm like, I've no,

I would. Kim is a force onto herself and not, you know, you know, with who would have thought that of the Bravo Kims, Kim D, Kim G, and Kim Z, that Kim Z would be the one who's the worst? I never would have thought. And that's a, that's a hill of a climb. That was like the meanest thing I ever said about Kim Zolsey-Eck's pretty bad. Yeah, I like that like she's worse than Kim Granitelle Whoa, she looks like sorry like some iMacs movie one day you know, it's like

Kim in the wild it iMacs and she'll just be on some tree like Kim looks like she was iMacs, but then like adapted to an airport TV screen. You're like, I feel like I'm not seeing this right. Some things don't need to be that big. But this is original flavor Kim, and she's still a shallow and disgusting as ever. But this is where I realize that my knowledge that positive visualization means nothing is wrong, because this delusional bitch is living in a mansion with a husband and multiple cute children. Multiple children. Okay, I can see that's debatable when I just said I

can see that it's debatable. I love I love a boo but I really love a groan. Kim Greeninital. No. Because she, this whole time, is like, I'm rich, you know. But it's just the original camera she's so, I think it's before they really perfected Valium, you know? Because like it's good now.

But it's like back in the day, she's just like, in Atlanta, money does give you class and power. Like her face is just like this, and it's not because she had boat talks. I don't think that was a thing, but her face just doesn't move. It's like, and her eyes are half closed. And her fake hair is like a pile. Yeah, it's like someone dropped Linguini on her head. But you know, the thing is, with the sad part is I think that she's just like stating how utility companies work.

Like yeah, money gives you power. Like, I'll pay my bill to call on Ed. It's like, I, I then of course. Be kind, rewind. It's just like obvious things. So then of course, we at last, but certainly not least, we have Shre. You got this one? You got this one?

You got electricity. But this was actually- You got electricity. This was a different era of Shiree when it's like she hasn't had a sip of water in three days. So everything sounds like- She's like, she's like, people are in two days. Why am I so stressed? You're like, it's someone give her a glass of water, please.

And now we have the term thirst. Why am I success? You're like someone give her a glass of water, please. I now we have the term thirst. If we only understood back then, you know. I love, I love, people are intimidated by my success. What was she successful at? People are intimidated by my success. Well, my success is arriving in September spring summer. So here's the most shocking part about this. The entire, like Atlanta is like a legendary umbravo, okay?

The entire franchise begins with the Sean Snow. The first scene ever is DeShawn and she's, what's so weird is that the show is edited in such a different way back then. They're giving interviews like people who are like working around the house. The gardeners like, yeah, well DeShawn, she likes two lips. You know, I didn't like, what? So it opens and like. And also it opens with golfing, which is, you know, they have their like, it's rich. Everybody's rich.

They have those shots. Yeah. And Atlantis is like, it's a guy golfing. And they do it like every scene. It's a guy like. Yeah, golf. Ritz. Ritz.

And like, you know, there's like a certain rhythm into the way shows are now. We also know that when a season begins or a series, there's a certain way they're, they, they star, you know, there's like a certain rhythm into the way shows are now. We all sort of know that when the season begins or a series, there's a certain way they start, you know? Like, well, my name's Dishon, and you know, I've actually been living in Atlanta for eight years. But instead, this is back then. So it just opens like her mid-sense.

It's like, go, go, go, go, it's just like, I couldn't have looked anywhere, but you know, we decided to live in Atlanta instead. You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, live in Atlanta and say, you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, the scene's already starting. It's starting in the middle of De Chant's delusion. Yeah. Which is so cute. I mean, I really think she's cute. And she's nice and she's a dodo bird.

But like, she's such a cute. She's very sweet. She's very like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I got a printer in a water machine and my refrigerator Stereocases the lawns and what you call it front doors But who cares curling iron I Want more like she's so completely just like I don't know why I was dangling this. What was that supposed to be? I'm like Creating like the underwater effect. I'm like this is like gay Catholicism these things

Because before I grabbed it. I was like I was doing like the Rosary beads like Okay, yeah, so she's like we couldn't wear anywhere, but we chose Atlanta because it's the land of opportunity We built this house and we worked with somebody from California Laurie Halperin who gets the second ever interview in Atlanta And also we see this lady we never see again ever on TV and she's like Hi, I'm Laurie Halperin and what I decided to do is design this house and she's excited. Like, thanks Lori, I'm glad you're on the show, goodbye. And this shod makes it sound like we created it in California, but now it's in Atlanta. And this designer goes, she spent a total of three hours with me. I put a checkerboard floor in her closet just to fuck with her.

So, Doshan walks into the home. They walk in the home for the first time. We've never seen it. And it's like, once again, it's like, Ever since I was little, I was destined to be somebody. I'm like, you're just looking at Travertine relax, okay? So she's like my new house is 19 trillion square feet

Big So she's married at the time to Eric snow who is this adorable NBA player and she's like to Eric Snow, who is this adorable NBA player. And she's like, the best thing about being married to an NBA player is the lifestyle. I'm like enjoying now, bitch, because it's gone in two years. I mean, say that. I didn't know the news. I asked Ben, I was like, what did happen to Dishon?

Because I really, I was like, she's either still really happily married, or she's like in a when he's parking lot. Like, it could go either way. Or both. And I'm sad to know that it, I was like she's either still really happily married or she's like in a when he's parking lot like I it could go either way or both and I'm sad to know that it I still don't really know what happened because Even when you talk about her even when you start talking about her, I'm like I just stop listening you know, well, it's even worse than then she goes and this is just the beginning of it all To Sean I know you guys, right? This is so sad.

There's a lot of sadness in here. Sorry. What's funny? We are so close to the Sean, I mean, in the world. She could be like, next door, eating dinner. I literally eat it when these three times we eat. Yeah. It's crazy.

I can't believe I found him. So she's like, she's like, I always dreamed of this. A biggest state with a chandelier. Ever since I was little, I destined to be gray. So then they're playing around with their kids or whatever. And she's explaining the husbands away six days a week during the season, you know, fucking hookers or whatever you do. And she's like, the the hard thing about it is being a single parent. Get a husband who's home. Sorry. Like seriously. Well, I'm sick of these, I'm sick

of real housewives being like, oh my god, I got this husband, really great, totally a centerpiece. Never home, so crazy. I think it's like drive up to Los Angeles one hour. So that's the best part. The best part, the best part, whoa, settle down. The best part is, I just want to do Ramona for a second. So, the best part, but the best part, she's like, oh my God, I feel like a single mother. And then she does the class.

I think she's like, well, we're hiring in a state manager and executive housekeeper, a maid crew, a chef, a governess, like with that nabby or something like that. Deshawn Abbey, a nanny. A nanny. A nanny. A nanny, okay. I mean, she really thinks she's going

to have a governor living in her house. Yeah, that rich. I can't wait for my first filibuster. So then, then we do a hairpin turn. Oh, yes. Oh, wait. I have to mention one thing. So since I got this off of a torrent, you know, it was like recorded on some of these direct TV or whatever, at the time. And so the little things that started popping up at the beginning of the show where the old classic provost is.

And one of them was like, coming soon, the return of Project Runway. This is literally Heidi Klum, OK? She pops up on the, she pops up, oh, I have a wireless mic. Oh, my God, yes. So she, you know, here's the TV and she pops up. She's like, What the fuck is this show?

Uh, Wow. Uh. Back when Carol was a George S. James model. Oh, the days. Yeah. Now I run the marathon. Oh. Okay. You guys, my physical comedy seriously exhausting

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listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, um, okay. So now it's time for Nene. And this is Whitney. I guess was just into double snaps. That's her thing because her thing. It's like Nene. She's like. She does it again. She's doing some weird things. Snap on, snap on, snap on, snap on, snap on, snap on. So, I just wrote down, woo! Did she say that? Yes, wrote it down. Because Nini goes, if you ask anybody about me,

people will say, Nini, she's real fun. And then she goes, and then it cuts to Nini going, woo! Yeah, that's a little haste. Laura! Just some girl at a party, because she's like, I'm fun, you know? So, Neenie, thanks for illustrating that. And now here's what's great. This is what's great about these early shows. The early seasons, they don't really know what's going to happen.

Neenie goes, I'm around a lot of women who are very wealthy. And they cut to her with Kim. You can't. Listen, we're not doing that pretty frankly. Okay, what's the matter? What's the matter? Okay, you want to find it. So Nini is like, I live in a city in an exclusive, gay community. And then they show like the club the country club, or whatever. And she's like, there's celebrities, athletes, bankers, strippers, gardeners, pool people,

deer, this thing called deer that we see. I'm like, okay, you're wrapping up. So she's ordering at a restaurant there, I guess, at the club. And she's like, I think I have the grouper with a mashed potatoes. And Greg is like, no bread, no bread. She's like, fine.

I'll take the lobster tail on a crab cake. I'm like, wait, crab cakes are all bread. You've bothered me on a deep culinary level. No, she's like, no carbs. I'll take the crab cake. We've all done that. You know, when you lie to yourself on Dr. Fatkins diet, no carbs. I'll take the chowder. Yeah. I'll have french fries. I mean, they're natural. Yeah. So, um, she's, uh, let me see. Oh, so she's pretending to be classy. They're like with this other wealthy, wealthy couple at the country class.

And she's trying to pretend she's all classy when she ordered. She's like, and I'd like the mashed potatoes. I was like, ooh! The mashed-shed potatoes. But she tells the guest, she's like, well, I'll tell you the secret to a man's heart. And it's not through his stomach.

You know what she does? It's through his elbow. I love it. So yeah, Greg was trying to calorie shame hurt. But it was actually, it was also a totally different time because then we saw little Brent. He was what, eight or 10 years old, he was cute. And they were having a birthday party

and what I loved, it was like a normal birthday party. They were like, they were like at the bowling alley or something, there was a cake that looked like a train or something, there was a car, there were balloons, it was like normal. And I was like, we should say it for this moment because it's all downhill from there You know on all the shows all the shows do I mean do we tell Armstrong?

I mean come on 30 thousand dollars on a three-year-old and then Greg's like I would like to present my child with his first check with his first check $1,000 and I made it out to Reglics invest me Made out to leaks LLC. Yeah

So let's see okay, so then we get a classic Neenie family video So you know in a family meeting so you know how Neenie's always like, I'm the queen of this castle. Like she does it every season. And you know she doesn't see her kids, because she doesn't even know like what room they're in or whatever. She's like, whoever's here, come down here, come down here. So they sit at whatever table.

And Neenie is hilarious with this, because she does it every year. And she's got like a stack of paper. She's like, now. Now. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying.

That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying.

That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. sheets. Yeah, I like that. I like when someone like waves authority around for like a very

small chore. Like, it's like when people print shit, it's like this big. It's like cleaning room. That's all she said. What was the rest of that paper? It was like repeat until Bryson gets it. So then we go to our very first Kim Zolsey Axeine. Oh! Now, I'm gonna actually need to ask Cortez. Cortez, you handsome devil. Would you please bring me a drink? Oh, well, Cortez. You handsome son of a bitch.

Thank you. So, we see Kim, she's just like shopping, you know, living that Kim live in the fast thing. When you've got power in class, you got money, you know? And she's just like, but there was like something, there was something sort of endearing about him at this time because she was a little bit more upfront about who she was than she is now.

Like now she's like, I'm Claudia Schiffer, and you're like, no, you're like wax. But like, back then, she was like,. But like, back then she was like, she's like, I'm very materialistic. Makes me feel good to have brands and top of the lawn things. Which is cute, because she's like a Talbot's, but like, I respect that she's like self-aware.

Like for one moment in time, she was self-aware enough to know she's materialistic. Yeah, it's like, I'm very materialistic. It feels good. All of my named brands. I could die tomorrow, but it'll be in Dior. I'll die in Dior. Dior is like, we're shutting down. No, we're not allowing that.

I've done another course of course, Kim. She's like, oh my God, the yellow is pretty. Got it in normal way. Where's the tree religions? He's like, oh my God, the yellow is pretty, got it in normal way. Where's the tree religions? My God. So, another ominous moment, she goes, Nini and I have a great friendship. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, it's also, it's also the beginning of a great tradition of Kim being super problematic. I'm a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. It's also the beginning of a great tradition of Kim being super problematic. I'm a black woman trapped in a white woman's body. I'm a black woman, thank you. I'm like definitely a white woman. You're a piece of... Trust me. You're a piece of tin foil in a jar with a wig on.

I don't know. I don't know. Do you know what sort of courage it takes for a black woman talking to wild women's bodies to see with all the black women and listen to them out of reunion? Shut up, Kim. Remember when she said that?

You are so white. You are a claddy of swiffer, OK? So yeah, and me. And then she goes, people always said I should have been black anyway. Did anyone say that? I was just checking. Anyone in this room say that? No. Kim Dullazolciak.

So then Nini comes in and she's like, King him. You know how she always pronounces Kim? I love it. King him. She's like, King him. I am so fun. Woo!

Was Nini! Nini'm so fun. Woo! Meenie! Meenie! Meenie! Woo! Oh, yeah, it's Meenie. She's fun. She's definitely my partner in crime. I'm sorry.

I don't mean to bust in on your notes, but I just looked over Ronny's iPad. And I just saw it. It goes, just he just wrote, Kim Dead Eyes. I'm sorry, I remember to do it. Look at her eyes. It's like I was just doing Quartz, Quartz, the husband from Dallas.

It's the same, it's the same face, but like, it is, right? It's just like like I love brand names She alive like stick stick a temperature of a meat thermometer in her. I want to make sure that she's moving You know, so okay, so she says I don't know. I don't want to go to I don't want to skip ahead. I want I don't want to skip ahead. I don't want to, yeah. We have to make sure we get all. When ever I'm lost, I'll just do that.

Oh, that's my subtle signal. Okay. You should just carry on. So then she's talking, now we have like, Kim buying shit montage and she's like, in Atlanta, you're it with money. And I'm just like imagining Kim as Pennywise, the clown. He's like, I'm it now.

Come into my gutter. I don't know if I'm my gutter. I didn't have to. Someone else bought a firmaid, so I got power. My gutter. So then we see a wig. A wig is going down the water. A little child is chasing a wig into the gutter.

Come on in. you want your wig? You want your wig? I got in here, most terrifying film of the year. Wig. My God in her music, and just remembering, and I was like, dammit, I wish we had that episode to recap you. Dummy Tarty for the party. Whoa! I personally had a soft spot for the ring, didn't mean a thing.

But not just any version. I am a fan of the all-Akopella Kim Zolciak version The ring didn't mean nothing Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the ring didn't mean nothing. Let's take it up. Let's take it up. Let's take it up Ring didn't mean I think to you. I see you're out there still doing your thing. So I'll keep the ring. Set you free. That's free.

Big bank account. You got that, a black card. You got that. Next time I catch you cheating, I'm going to hit you in your pockets. Done. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm gonna hit you in your pockets Down in the street You're a chill, you're a hot boy And I'm upgrading my ass to rain And next time you act naughty

You bum me a ring to shut me Okay, we can't, we can't She said you bum me a ring to shut me up And that's just what we did God bless her God, Cam, you should have been born black Wow, she really is Wow, I can man makes you wonder about the other songs that that could have remember she also had tight rope

There's a top rope between me and you and it's a rope That's taught Kuzi Kuzi keys my beer, cold. KUZY! Wait, let me give you a beat. Let me give you a beat to help you out. Okay. KUZY!

KUZY on my beer! KUZY! I miss it so much. Real, Karana, Beermann, I like Swimpools I like Swimpools Ladders, they help you get up You can also go down

Ladders, Music Oh, Music, Music Solo Cup So low cup. Fog horn. I love the fog horn. Have you ever heard a fog horn? Not in the fog. Wow.

Wow. Her biggest hit was recording the ever so popular dial tone on a telephone. Whoa, whoa, that number is not available. For Mexican press one. I can't so ignorant. I'm sorry. Okay, so then we get a scene and then we go right back to Kim and she's at home now. And at first when you watch this show, you might think this is totally a fake scene and just set up so Kim could be acting rich. But now that you know Kim, it's like I believe that this totally happened exactly like this. Hi, I'm on a bon escalade today, daddy. Full eloted with TVs, the bigger tires, sour cream, bacon, oh wait, sorry, I thought we were talking about potato fully loaded.

Cadillac, full of, never mind. Make sure I'm coming down there, make sure you got it. I want everything you got in there. Head, wrist, hand, wrist, wrist. I want tires. I want my chairs to have hair. This is not, not three. I want one where the gas goes in. I want an armrest, but I want to go this way instead of this way.

So I just wrote pilot plastic hair. I mean, that's a really fun to write. So this is obviously when we meet a very important character in Real Housewives lore. She's like, I have a man in my life. He prefers to remain a mystery. I just refer to him as Big Papa. Big Papa.

I love it when I call him Big Papa. I love it when I call him Big Papa. Yeah, he's like really, really celebrity-lock famous, like really. He don't even like to be in public. I mean, he's not a celebrity. He married, girl. He doesn't want to be in public. Big Papa was like, didn't we find out who Big Papa was? Who was Big Papa?

Who was Big Papa? like, didn't we find out who Big Papa was? Who was Big Papa? Who was Big Papa? Exactly, whatever. Someone in Hajjar? He worked at the phone company. He was a taking a charge. Oh my God. Okay. My cousins, the cousins of the carims are the Hajars. Not even kidding you. I might know Big Papa.

So your hour Big Papa. So you're the hour Big Papa. So Kim goes to this, she goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean.

She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. She goes to the ocean. What do you need to do him writing it? And she's like, K, bye. And then she goes, I was like, she has a land rover already. And then she's getting a giant escalator. It's like, she's like not only problematic,

but she's bad for the environment. Like, she can't even worry. I'll tell you this, she's not recyclable. You're outlawing straws, outlaw Kim Zolciak, okay? If anyone's gonna kill a turtle after they're thrown in the ocean, it's that bitch. So they're at the dealership in Brioz, you know, like we see little Brioz back in more innocent times. You're so sweet, man. She was so cute, but we should have known because she goes, can we have spinners?

We'll roll like gangsters. We should have seen it coming. So then Kim is like, well, big papa is somebody I could marry for sure. I hope I get the big proposal. So sad. There's nothing to say about it. It's just hilarious. But then, yeah, she's like, I'm getting the car is that okay? And he's like, okay, and she's like, writing her checks.

So I just have everything in it. And he's like, yeah, I can't say. All right, we took it. You're gonna look at the car. It doesn't even look inside or anything. Do I know everything in this? That's Chick-fil-A inside, right? Do I know if it's a fair price or not? No. Am I driving off a lot in five minutes? Yes.

Is it made of turtles? Maybe. Do I know what a road is? No. Am I drinking and driving? Yes. Did I just crash my car into a little tree and almost a big tree? Yes. Yes, did I just crash my car into a little tree and almost a big tree? Yes

Was that a speed bump or a homeless person? I don't know then oh So then we go to Lisa Wu ladies and gentlemen Lisa Wu God I forgot what a little ball of woo. I mean, God, I'm glad her name is Wu, because she bets a woo and woo-hoo. She's like going all the time.

It's like, I'm gonna say woo. Yeah. She's like, I'm so busy. I'm so busy. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. Oh my God. Let's sell bags. I want to sell some bags right now.

Paper, let's sell paper. That's called the cocaine addiction, ma'am. Yeah. She's like, she's like, well, work is the cocaine addiction, ma'am. Yeah. She's like, well, work is my life. I'm a real estate broker. I'm the owner of Heartwell and Associates. I also have heart to heart baby. I paint, I design jewelry.

I build tables. It's off sweep if I have to. I'll do that, but then I'm going to sell the brew master because I do not do things for free. I'm learning trapeze. And they really show her doing all these things. She's like, real estate, real estate, painting, painting, talking.

You're going to be the best kid ever. It's like, whoa, whoa. I bet all her friends can't stand her, because she's like having a nine-month-year-old. It revives you. It just gives you energy. It's like you're a full of shit. You know, all her friends are like, fuck her, fuck her. What are you talking about?

So then we see her husband and her home and you know, she's like I do everything including bowling so they have bowling night and I do it all. Yeah, pins, whatever so who says oh I do it all. Yeah. Penz, whatever. So, who says, oh, so- I don't know who said anything because they had like, her microphone on. And then under it says, one.

I was like, who is this? Who is this one person? No, it's Toshan. She goes, Lisa has a very large home. In fact, we're bowling right now. Someday, I hope to be a professional bowler myself. I feel like throws the ball into the wall. Did you notice?

So Doshan is there and she's talking. And no one's mic'd. It's just like echoey at all. Everything just sort of sounds like this. Yeah. Like wow, this is happening in a live show. I'm like, you remember that part? Exactly. So Ed and Lisa got married a month and 23 days after they met. So who would have thought

they would have broken up? I mean, it's a shocker. They broke up too. Yeah, he went on to Keishanipoleum. What? Rudy? You learn something new when you come to Krabbins. You learn something new when you come to crap ends. You learn something new. I don't believe in reading, so. OK, so next we go over to, oh yeah, at least it's like, I can sleep when I'm dead. I'm like, you will be if you keep jacking yourself up like that.

OK, so then we go over to Sheree's house. You tell her, yeah. Oh, let's do Sharay. So this is very important. It does not get actually mentioned on the show, but when we see Sharay, the very first time, she's sitting at a table working on early sketches of she by Sharay. We think, we don't really see them very close and you can't watch it in HD. So I don't know what the fuck it was. But I think it was like a lot of like dollar store notebooks that were because they were draped over some to the kids.

It could have been adult coloring book. Yeah. Design house. Little did we realize that some days Shere would be answering the seminal question, how are you going to have a fashion show with no fashions? So she has all these assistance walking around a little like she's super important. You know, Sheree has really not changed. Like she was humbled. Remember how she got humbled and like lost everything and everyone's like, oh my god, Sheree is so real now. And then she pretended to be living in that house. And then she couldn't

let them in because it wasn't finished. So she'd be like, oh, I'm just sweeping, I'm just sweeping. I'm just sweeping. Just sweeping on the front. Just sweeping. Shatto Shrew. And they're trying to Kenya's trying to come in. She's like, nope, nope, just sweeping.

So Shrews on the phone, there's a lady on the phone being like, get yourself prepared for the Rolls Royce luxury rent lounge. They're expecting you. They really want you to come. I'm like, you know that was her daughter calling her. You're like, she's like, the next that was her daughter calling her. She's like, the next one. Yeah, the Rolls Royce luxury lounge. And she's like, everybody wants me to

go. I'm like, girl, she probably thinks Groupon is like really inviting her places. Yeah. I've been told I've been living social. I'm always invited on luxury vacations, Hawaii, you know, nice big room. Like, so she's now talking about Bob, and again, she's all like, I'm like, did she just have peanut butter, like, so yeah, so she is working on She Bicepare, and she's trying to design sexy, classy pieces.

She goes, she goes. My lifestyle is demanding and I consider myself among one of Atlanta's elite. I'm like, you consider yourself among the elite. Well, that's good. She goes, I consider myself to be president. So pay me your taxes. She goes, I want the world to know who Shirei is. So I decided to throw myself a birthday party.

And then later on she's like, I invited 50 people. I don't know how that's telling the world. Yeah, we're gonna have a huge party, 50 people. MC goes, well, I'm a single mom, because I'm currently going through a divorce. And the thing is holding us up is, I want to lump some. I'm like, this isn't a lottery. Like, you don't get a choice. I'll take some lump crap if you have a chance.

Yeah, so she's spraying about her staff, talking about Lawrence. I think this is, we're so, we don't see Lawrence. Lawrence. Lawrence. But she mentions Lawrence. She mentions Lawrence. How pretty is Lawrence? We see Lawrence.

And he's a good singer too. He's so pretty. I forgot her assistant was a Vanderholy who feels daughter. It's also a weird thing is popping up. We all sweared. I hope you're not sitting on nails again. No.

Ronnie sat on, like, literally he knocked the cushion off his chair on Thursday night and didn't realize he sat back down and all these nails were just sticking off his car on it. I didn't even know. I know. Um, okay. So, yeah, let's see. Cake, Lori the cake lady.

And, you know, I feel so bad seeing all these fake employees around Shere because, like, I've worked my ass off as a waiter my whole life, and I know people, we know that Shere doesn't pay. You know what I mean? We just know this factually now. It's like Lori the cake lady, did that for free. Yeah, okay.

So I just felt bad for everybody, especially event. Because event is the personal assistant who you know It's she's probably been sacrificed in the backyard like literally after the first season So because she did everything wrong, you know, Shere is like do not miss this up event. Yeah, do not this was great because this was This was also our like our first indication that Shere is secretly crazy, you know And this is also before she learned that there was value and just like letting it out. So she tried to keep everything in.

So we learn there's a florist is supposed to come. And the florist isn't there, it's late. And so her, like Tiffany says, or whoever, if that says- She says to rate this, she goes. She goes. I'm her earrings are doing this. Yeah.

And if that's like, he can't come over today. Shreys like. Thank you, that is not what Shreys said though. All right, everyone settle down, settle down. Bye, bye. So Shreys just leans forward and she's just like, what not? Yeah, what? And then if that's like, I don't know, and Shrej just goes, he has to come out today.

Should we get Tiffany in here? Just see Shrej, I was like, oh, this is like wait until season two and Sheree just lets it out. Who got check me boo? Hey, yes. She goes, Tiffany's like, oh he knows, he knows, he knows, oh my god, huge Sheree poster. Sheree poster. Like, we're out of rally. We're out of Sheree rally. There's a poster of Sheree.

This is like American Idol. This is what it was. Remember it was like, bo, bo. American Idol. How is New Office destined to be something that's so American Idol to say that? Yeah. That's what all those kids say before they become

heroin addicts on the street. I know, sad, right? OK, so next up, and Neenie meet up and By the way Kim shows up in a Range Rover. I'm like you just bought an escalade and you're not even driving it Anyway, when I see things like California Ford, I just black them out like they're not even there, you know I just see I see like a Toyota camera. You know like everything's like So Kim's like, Mama, you lost so much weight, Mama, Mama, wow.

And he's like, Woo! And he goes, Kim is so fun. And she would do anything for you. She truly has your back. That's a direct quote for beta. She goes, when Kim and I get together, watch out. It doesn't matter if we're watching,

we're rocking Gucci or Prada or whatever. We have fun. I was like, what kind of thing is that to say? It doesn't matter what we're wearing, we have fun together. God, me and Ben, I could be wearing old Navy, I could be wearing a tie from Ross. It doesn't really matter.

We have fun together. Like, I would like your friendship transcends your shirt. Fucking weirdo. I would prefer you to stop wearing old Navy, though. I would think we'd have more fun, not it was. So they're all having lunch. It's like, Nini and Kim and Kim's mom, Karen, is there just sort of like in the corner.

She's like, Kim's mom is like this, you know? Oh my God, before she got disowned for refusing to use a porta-padi, I mean, that is the best mother-daughter break up of all time. They literally still don't speak, because Kim wouldn't let her use the inside restroom at a party. It still hasn't been used. It's the wedding.

So, so now we start to get into the first inklings of drama. You know, now we've met everyone. So, we start talking and I had totally forgotten that this is how this whole feud started. So, basically, Nini and Dashawn went to Uptown, which I guess is near here, and they saw Shiree, and Shiree was like, what are you doing here? What are you doing here? What are you doing? And they sort of like reenacted. It was like a Discovery Channel special.

It was like, Zapruder or something like that. Like Shiree, it just sort of just be like, what are you doing here? But it's like Nini's voice coming out because she's narrating it. Very exciting. It was also footage that they shot for like the sizzle reel or whatever when they were trying to sell the show.

So you know, they're trying to like make a show so they're like, we're gonna fight. Okay, we'll fight. And so it's a stupid fight with like a handy cam sitting there in a party, like to explain why they're mad. So Nini's like, did you hear from Shirei last night? Well, it was very nice to hear from her. Woo-hoo!

So Shirei, she hears about the party and Shirei invited her and she's like, that is really nice. So then she goes, Shirei goes, class you at the Mimi, okay? A lot class you at the Mimi. uh, syregas ah i'm classia the meanie okay uh, locked classia the meanie

ship-based boards ship-based boards hehehehe does she have power-suggets? the baseboards never forgot the baseboards oh yeah, well, it's the best line that syray has ever uttered in my opinion you got baseboards You got electric? So, so Nini is confused. Nini is confused.

You guys basically. Alright, settle down. I told these bitches to begin and I was like, paste yourself, you're here for a lot of hours. I was like, oh no, no, no big deal. She's like, fuck you. Thank you, Giovanni. I love you. Giovanni. So basically, after this incident that happened in Uptown, they didn't talk for a month, and then all of a sudden, he needed gets invited to this birthday party, and you need sort

of surprise, it wasn't expecting it, you know, but she's gonna go and she's gonna work the room. And Kim's like, I'm not sure how they're gonna interact. I mean, you can smell the animosity, the hatred, you can taste it, you feel it, you can deep-thread it, but I already got a new car. So now we have Shiree. And now it's like day of the party or so. And Shiree's getting nervous because the guests have started 50.

And now it's at 100. It's getting larger and larger. It's spiraling out of control. I have tacky friends like this where because I'm you know an improv person So when anybody has a party we'll bring 20 people, okay? Because everybody's hungry like we just want your food like what come to your house We will take yourself anything that you leave on the table like if this were a party I would literally like be putting this in the trunk of my uber right now

I have waiting outside and that's how charay is because she's like This person's ringing seven people, that person's ringing 10 people. I was like, Shere does improv. I love her. I can't sit by. Yeah, so basically she's like, she's basically harassing her staff

and she's like, this party has to be perfect. You got a perfect party? You got a perfect party? You got a perfect party? You got a perfect party? So you got a perfect party? I don't want any a perfect party. So she's like, she goes, now, this party, it's talking to him.

So she gets a bodyguard to keep people out of this party. And she goes, I'm going to leave it up to Tiffany, to come out of this. And Tiffany's like, God it, man, God it, man, please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. So then, now this I thought was amusing. I only noticed it at this point. We cut to commercial and we see the lineup like holding up the peaches.

And Lisa Wu has the center peach. It's so crazy going back to season one. I'll open with Tashon. Lisa Wu has the center peach. What is this world? It sports and it's so amazing to see who beat the shit out of who to get that center fucking spot every time you know. Like Wayne Candy first got it I remember being like yes, queen, yes queen you finally fucking

did it. All you had to do was yell at some people and cry a lot like I could have told you that but. I'm so proud to watch this girl grow up who does so much for herself and really works hard on the candy. I bought her like a Rolls Royce sedan. I mean, I don't know what, like I said, I don't understand that. Yeah. Riley. Riley.

Remember when her opening line was like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't want drama, Don't need drama. By the way, I feel like it's always important to say this because people are like, what is up with that voice? The thing with Candy Burris is that she has the most impossible voice to mimic, because it goes high, then low, then high, then low, and then does like a vibrato in between.

Yes. So we've been trying for years and years to get it right, but all we can do is go, Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh. Ha. So we've been trying for years and years to get it right but all we can do is go It's like a broken printer Wait I love fucking can be okay, so Is this where shopping with Siree? Oh, so Siree is seeing Nancy goes. Yes it is. Tiffany.

I want this day to be spectacular. I want to feel like a queen. I want to look at happen. I'm not like, oh no. So Siree goes to the store. She's got like a little cap on, like some weird shit. And she's like, everyone knows me for being stylish. I'm like, you look like a Newsy right now

The problem with men these days They're intimidated that successful women. Mm-hmm. Well, thank God. No one seems to be intimidated by her Yeah, it's all that law jargon. You're spitting out all the time Yeah, and I like she doesn't want me she want to make sure that no one has the same handbag as her at the boutique It's just like this the only one right I got the only one like first take a seat Shirei So she's yeah, so then we go over to Dopey Dishon Wait before we do the shon I just have to say one of my favorite sherry lines of the entire episode she goes I'm fashion I'm style If they can't keep up

That there's the problem Thanks, Sherey Anyway, sorry And she's making the bed. I was like, ah, ah, ah, wouldn't you think, ah, wait, why am I making my own bed? This dream sucks. So she's making a bed, and she's like, I really need a house manager, because I'm making a bed.

Okay. All right, we got it. She by charade. This girl's like she by charade. All right. She by charade. Literally has nothing to do with what we're talking about. So, so, don't be the shaman music. Okay, so, okay, so Lindy. Oh my god, Lindy, a candidate for house manager. This is so good. Okay, so this is where Julie Roberts goes to that store and the store people won't let her buy a dress because she a hoe. And then she goes back to buy something because she's rich now and they have to like suck it up and deal with her. That is Lindy. Lindy is that lady who has to deal with Julie Roberts

coming back with money, okay? So it really is because it's a reverse interview, right? So she's like, uh, DeShantel says, she's just here on a trial period. Yeah. Like she's got a really tester. Yeah. So Lindy's like, okay, what exactly is it that you're looking for miss snow and she goes and the past? Chef would get groceries. Will that be possible? We want potatoes. So they should get that. How do you envision that?

She said, how do you envision that? Like getting potato. Those hard-hitting potato questions trip up everyone at the interview. How do you envision getting potatoes? Girl, that's like my dream. I dream so stupid. I don't aim high. I'm like, I want to be rich enough to have french fries for every meal My mom's like Ronnie you're literally rich enough for that right now you fucking complainer and like

Want more I like that potatoes are her priority like she's like the night before she's like oh Lindy's coming God ask her about the potatoes God ask her about the potatoes because we don't get those potatoes It's gonna be a problem. Yeah, and this sounds like, we don't like to deal with the employees. Usually the house manager does that. She said the right age. She said her, yeah. So then the house manager is like testing her now. So she goes, your father's coming in town tonight and this sounds like.

Oh. She's like, it goes. Two very important things. She goes, two very important things. Your father has requested Bailey's and Cream and Vodka, which sounds like the story of that. It's like I had Dishon and forgot. So she goes,

may I store that in the guest room? And Dishon's like, do you mind? Dishon's like, her mind is blown that someone's gonna bring her just sounds like, do you mind? Like, just sounds like her mind is blown. This someone's gonna bring her dad Bailey's, you know. Does he want potatoes? Because that's an important thing. She goes, yeah, well I request things, you know, when you have guests, it's my responsibility to request what they would like in their room. Like us, we have

like a PBR back there. You know, we get it, we totally get it. So she's like, may I store that for you? And then she goes, also they wanted salmon. May they have food choices? May they have food choices, Mrs. Snow? And Dashaun's like, Eric comes in. He's like, what the hell's going on in here? And Lynn enters the, well, Dashaun's like, uh, Eric comes in. He's like, what the hell's going on in here? And, uh, Lynn, and she's like, well,

Dechon's like, well, Mr. Snow, uh, Lindy wants to know if, you know, the guests can have food, whatever. He's like, absolutely not. Yeah, he goes, we're not going to ask my father, okay? If you ask my father, he will ask you to do everything. You know, which is like being like, Rhonda, my mom, like, Rhonda, would you like us to get anything

for your state? Ronnie's actually be like, how about a decent personality, some respect for his mother, a college education, a relationship worth a shit, a child possibly, safer driving, not gaining and losing 100 pounds a year, just to piss me off It's like some parents you just don't ask what they want. Yeah, you don't ask. You're opening up a can of can of worms So then her heart I

Love Lindy. I wish we got to see more of her and she wore these giant buttons like novelty buttons I was was expanding her coming with like one of those like non-fatal pencils be like on the same manager. So anyway, we then go over. Finally we see Laurence that is Salon and Shere is getting her hair down for the big party and she's like I'm getting ready for a major major major major major major major events night My birthday There's gonna be pigs in a blanket there major event So go okay settle down now we all love Lawrence and we know it was 10 years ago So styles have changed but her hair looked crazy when she came out of it. It was like my juice Because she doesn't stop bossing people around while she's getting her hair done

You know what I mean like if you can't stay still, your hair's gonna look stupid. And Sere is like the pro, she's like, she's like, what do you do? Like she's like, start bossing someone around. It's like, it's trying to like straighten, you know? And by the end, it's just like, oh, America, she keeps moving.

She looked like Kathleen Quinlan when I was talking. You remember Kathleen Quinlan? Yes. Also I have to give credit to Lawrence for being one of the only ever gays on Bravo who has not turned out to be a shady backstabbing little bitch. Yes. God bless him.

And you know that man is a success because he can keep his mouth. He lines his lips and then he closes them. Okay? Yeah. So everyone wants to bring friends to this party. It's all mad I didn't have a drink. I've got like 20 bottles of tea to those in case. So, remember when Kim had a friend named Corey?

Remember Corey was like Kim's bestie for a while. That was fun. So anyway. Oh my God, this stoner. This guy was great. He's like, I really thought, does he? He's like Kim. Like he's just like dead on.

Corey was a woman, by the way. Oh, who is the gay guy? Are we not at that part? We're not quite there. This guy was great. I really thought, does he? He's like Cam. He's just like dead eye. For a career was a woman, by the way. Oh, who is the gay guy? Are we not at that point? We're not quite there. Well, so now it's like 25 minutes of everyone talking about their fashion. So everyone's talking about what they're

going to bring and everything. And Shere is like, I would not put Neenie and Fashions in the same sentence. This is Shere. This is Shiba Shere. OK, like a mod Shirei. So then we go to Nini. Now we've just watched everybody with personal stylists

and dressers and stuff like that. Nini sitting on a bar stroller at her house with like, you know, doing her makeup. But I thought it was really cute. I kind of miss porn Nini. Like, is that weird? No, season one, Nini was the best Nini there ever was. It was.

And we talk about it on the show all the time that Nini has become so unbearable, but she was so fucking greatenie there ever was. It was. And we talk about it on the show all the time that Neenie has become so unbearable, but she was so fucking great at first, you know. I'm like, you really did root for that friendship with her and Kea, you did. She's still funny in her interviews, but like. Yeah. She's a testimonial queen, yes, but still.

She still reigns with that, but God, she's become a cow of a human person. Yeah, she was great. Okay, so now Kim's designer. So Kim's designer, oh, thank you. His name is Dean Pardu. He is Kim's personal. He shows up wearing a train conductor hat.

So that's already a problem. So he's like, I'm Kim's personal stylist, my shopper. And sometimes I make custom things for her. I'm like, oh, my God, do you really do find your soul partner in your gay sometimes? Yeah. Because he's just like her. So he goes, you want a drink? It's five o'clock somewhere.

And I was like, oh, I love a dead meme queen. So can't believe it. They all have this elevated sense of their importance in Atlanta and the world of fashion. This kid is like, well, people will definitely dissect what I'm wearing. They do it in the grocery store. They do it in the back alleys. Bowling alleys. Clinics.

The grill and chill. Ow! That's what you get for labeling me. People are really going to dissect it. Supparing frogs. Okay, so uh... Stopparing frogs. Stopparing frogs. Oh, frogs.

That is like who's going to dissect what you're wearing. It's like a BB Catholic school girl skirt Yeah, we know Kim. We've seen it So that was for you Annabelle. Yeah, Annabelle tell me now Because Annabelle's like oh my god. I'm so embarrassed cuz you're always making fun of people wearing too much BB and I love the BB. I wear it all the time That's like I don't know what anything is. I just think BB is like the cutest name in the store. I'm like, BB! Or as Kim calls it, bib.

Bib. Hey, babe. Babe. And you know what's funny? So Dean makes her this crazy dress. And she's trying it on and it's like big and poofy right here. And she's like, oh, well, it's too big in the front. Fast forward to 10 years later, everything she wears is a big puff in the front fast forward to 10 years later everything

should wear as a big puff in the front no kidding you you could have turned that dress upside down I mean we'll still put ten years later so Kim goes on one sexy motherfucker so this dress is real me true different fucking sexy bug. And Dean's like, yeah, you're fucking sexy, yeah. It's a damn fucking sexy. And Dean's like, Kim picked one of the sexy species in the collection. It's short.

It's schoolgirlinspired. And it speaks to Kim's personality. Like, is it like a flounder? I don't know. It's got a little pocket in the back to put tips in. It's just an ashtray. He actually does not have ashtrays. You pop the head and like a little capri comes out the butt.

Now, this is why I love when poor people get money because I say things like this. I love this purse but fuck, it's $5,000. While I'm on a close ride. It's a hat, that's why, it's a hat. Wow. That is a fireplace screen to give. You're holding a plate. So over it.

Ah! Dishon is so thrilled to have a barber chair in her house. It is the funniest fucking thing. She goes, look, I got a chair. You could get your hair done in it. And then she just spots. He's like, the many facets of a chair. You can order your potatoes in it.

So yeah, so she just gets she has dressed. And that's the other one. He was like, that dress isn't in the store, is it? Because I wouldn't want anybody seeing me wear the same dress as somebody else wore. You know what? You know what? No.

Jeans, do you say? No, I was gonna say, one of these days, we need to get another shady stylist, like the one on Game of Crowns. I don't know if anyone watched Game of Crowns, but on the very first episode of Game of Crowns, some shady stylist gave these two them in the exact same tacky jumpsuit,

and they only discovered it when they arrived at baggage claim with the Tucson International Airport, and they pulled at each other's hair. Like, I can't believe you're wearing my jumpsuit. It was a great show, and you guys really should all watch it. I'm not, it's not even a joke. It gets like a hilarious show. So the Nanny is over there like,

well, I'm wearing a party dress because it is a big event And so she puts on like some cotton like cute tight thing. I was like, mm-hmm. Okay, and then She's doing herself, which I really liked, you know, she's like designing herself for whatever Yeah, and then she goes You got to love Neenie for being the only one to wear a cotton pillow case like that's too small and to be like, I could definitely Upstage the birthday girl Like her confidence

Yeah So we see Lisa going through her closet She was like, I'm gonna dress like I'm gonna bling, I'm gonna bling, I'm gonna bling And then we're over at Chateau Shre and Shre is getting all create did I go over anything to but that I Want to make sure I'll just say I'll just comment on what you say no, I'm sorry I don't want to like over No, it's been 10 years, you know, so anyway so chat so Shre is part is coming together She's getting stressed the cake is arriving everything we meet her creative director, I love the fact that Sheree has a creative director.

She does. So then we go, he's like, I want a party with 50 people, she's like, create it. Create it. So now we're at Kim's townhouse, and Nini shows up to pick up Kim because they're going to grind over together. And what I loved about this, that when Kim came down the stairs, like, and she's all that, you know, she comes down the stairs And that was back in the day when she didn't have hideous self-portraits all along the wall It was just like abstract TJ Maxx or I was like

That was the top that was for the days. I know, but I wish she did have them because I wish she had like a self-portrait from every year Because it would have been like the haunted mansion that dis me land I wish she had like a self portrait from every year because it would have been like the haunted mansion at Disneyland. Or you just pass and the pictures change faces and start morphing in the different faces. That's what you call brutalist art. I feel like if you took Kim's face

and you slammed it down into a newspaper and held it there for a while, you could read the headlines off it after. You love a silly putty joke. I love this guy. I'm like, please Ronnie do silly putty tonight. God, I hope he does a silly putty joke tonight. Silly putty, oh, it's kills. Oh, wait, everyone loves this. I mean, give it up for silly putty, everyone. Silly putty. Actually, I actually have to say like this act, I was sad. You know, some of it is sort of sad to see how some of these relationships have deteriorated

or how some of these people have just like gone on the deep end and like watching Neigh Hugging, Brielle and Ariana, I actually got genuinely sad because it was so sweet, they did have such a sweet relationship. I know he was like, are you gonna say something? I was like, no, I'm listening.

I thought it was so weird, right? I was like, what's happening? I just wanted to feel the feels for a second. So, okay, so Nini and Camber are gonna go to the party together and Kim's dress doesn't fit right. So she's like, I had to alter it. So we gotta go to the show gas station to pick it up. Yeah, show station.

With Huneu, you know, that's another thing we're at knowing now what we know. It's like that is the future home of Cynthia Bailey I wear. And also, I love when a location becomes famous. And also bar one. And bar one. Wait, question. Who here has actually been to bar one? Wait question who here is actually been to bar one But one one Has any of a question is Cynthia Bitt Cynthia the Cynthia Bailey agency is that near here? Is it real? It's not real. It's a real

Bless her heart you know what Cynthiay needs to start selling? Leaf blowers. Yeah. She's really given a good reputation to leaf blowers. I'd buy one from her. Well, what was funny about this shell station scene, okay, it was funny about the shell station scene. Yeah, the shell station scene was that,

like, at the time it felt so like, like, oh my God, this is so funny, she's like keeping it real or whatever. But really, it was just, you know, like, oh my god, this is so funny. She's like keeping it real or whatever. But really, it was just, you know, like, it's like, no, Kim Zolciak is basically our gas station. Like, she's just like a gas station on Bravo. You know, this was the dance floor. Yeah, I was just enjoying her. She's dependable.

No one wants to go inside of her, you know? Ha ha ha. Hey, hey, hey. So we get to the party. The party is happening. The party's very excited. A guy named Antoine comes out and he starts singing his song and he's like, Sheré, I'm glad I could be here for you to celebrate my birthday, your birthday, and my birthday. Here's my gift to you. Shirei, God of cancer.

Shirei, is your kid. Come to boot. I love this room. It has four walls and a ceiling. And Shirei's like, this must be the first thing I've ever heard. He knows me. He knows me. So then, Kim and Nini arrive.

That came flying. Not yet. Kim goes, we decided we were gonna arrive fashionably late. And hour and a half. I'm like, that is not fashionable. There's nothing about you fashionable right now. Yes. That's also called rude, bitch.

And hour and a half later. Yeah. And remember later, remember later, season when everyone came late to Neemee's party in the Hollywood Hills and she wouldn't let them in. You hypocrite! I just remembered it right now. Freshly angry. Yes. and when everyone came late to Neenie's party in the Hollywood Hills, if she wouldn't let them in, you hit the crit! I just remembered it right now, freshly angry. Yes.

So this was the moment that real housewives of Atlanta started to become legendary, because up until then, it was fun and cool, and then like, Nenie and Kim walk in, and it's like Kim Zolsey, Iq, for two, whatever. And then, but then Neenie goes in, and her name's not on the list. Oh!

Oh! Yeah. And from there, the legend begins. Oh, and then we get to see Dini just lose it and refuse to let it go. And we also get to very beginning of the Nini sound effect train. Okay.

Okay. Because when she comes up, of course she walks because she's dedicated to her things, right? So she comes up and she's like, doing the circle, the circle snaps and she's like, you gotta make a statement. Because people say, where's nini? Bam, bam, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub Kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikik So, you know, season one, Shere was a monster. And this was like, like, when we started to see it because Tiffany's like, so Nini's causing a scene and Tiffany goes up to Shere and it's like,

oh my god, I had a total oversight. Like, Nini was on the list, whatever. Shere is like, hmmm. Oh, hey, you're a Lash just look good. You're a Lash just look good. Yeah. Okay, whatever. I was like, oh, Shere.

Yeah. She gave him the villain of season one, right at that moment. Yeah, and Shere says, now I know she thinks that she's done a mom bar, but it was Tiffany, you know. But you know it was Shere. You know it was Shere. And that's what makes it so delicious. And Nini knows that was Shere. And she is not going to believe for one second

that Shere did that on accident. Which she's right. You know, you've got to call it. She's right. And Nini is like, she's like, I've been to gotta call it. She's right. And it is like, she's like, I've been to Sheree's house a thousand times. There's no security. Her gates don't even work.

And of course, Doshon has to weigh in. Oh, yeah. Doshon's like, the whole point of having a staff and a team. And so this won't happen. Now shut up with your potatoes. I've got trinkets and what is color. So, Mimi, this is also Mimi's first furious rant about security. And I'm saying her first.

We didn't have the whole Walmart debacle on camera, but you know, this is like what scarred her first. We didn't have the whole Walmart debacle on camera, but you know, this is like what scarred her originally. And she's like, security pulls me to the motherfucking side. Oh, hell no. Like, that's what Nini was done. Because they even invited her back in. Oh, yeah. So good. I know. So then Tiffany's like, sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry. And he's like Bang bang bang bitch bang bitch sideways bang bitch And Syregas I hear throughout side yelling screaming. I didn't want that on this party on my day This ain't that kind of party This is the counterparty. Um, that's...

Well, my favorite thing is, you know how it ended? It ended with Kim going, I always have Nini's back. She's been a great friend to me, so I'll be a good friend to her. No matter what. No matter what. Isn't life great?

Isn't life great? Isn't life great? Don't we just love brother? Yes. I mean, look at this. Look how far we've come. And Mimi also set up her concert storyline forever. She goes, there is no forgiveness. And I was like, yes, bitch.

It's like, you guys really set this up. Well, so coming up, coming up. Oh my god. So then we see such great scenes for the coming up. Oh my God. So then we see such great scenes for the coming season. My favorite of which is when Kim goes to the singing teacher because she wants to release a song. Oh, we should have invited her. And the singing teacher goes, you know, the problem with you, Kim is, you don't really know what you're doing. And then it just cuts to Cam and she's like, Huh.

And that brings us to the end of the real last lives of everyone. Guys, it was such an honor to recap Atlanta in Atlanta. Yes! You guys were awesome. The whole night was awesome. Happy birthday to Ronnie. Thank you. Thank you so much for my cake. Thank you for the cake.

Thank you, everything that you guys have done for us. You know, to you, to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Rami. Happy birthday to you. Thank you, suckers. Thank you, we love you guys. Thank you so much. We're so done. We're so good. We will see you next time. Good night everyone. Thank you so much.

Thank you, city one, Red. Thank you, Cortez. Thank you all. Good night. Hey, prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us

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