Watch What Crappens - RGIP: A Votre Santé Claus

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

It's Christmastime on Real Girlfriends in Paris, which means there are miracles — Margaux leaving her apartment! — and yuletides wishes — Kacey begging someone to do her Visa stuff for her. But most importantly, the angels sing... or cry to their coworkers about Yoanne.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Watch what crappins. Watch what crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends. Hello and welcome to watch what crappins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today. Or should I say, how should we? Is Mr. Ronnie Karam.

Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, Ben. How are you? Ben, bonjour, Ben. Bonjour, Ben. Hi, welcome. It's Real Girlfriends in Paris Day, which is becoming one of my favorite days because I just love this stupid show. How are you doing today, Ronnie? I'm great. I'm loving this show too. And, you know, one of the things you look for in these shows is for people to start to lose the nice because, you know, we know this is just like a new group of people that was kind of thrown together from Craigslist auditions or wherever they came from. And sometimes it takes a while for them to really.

start getting offended and showing their tree signs, but not this show. This show's right here. And today it's Casey. I know. I knew. I knew what's going to happen. Whenever somebody retends, they're like the nicest person and I love Nintendo Switch. I'm like, ooh, wait for the breakdown. It's going to be big. Yeah. When I watched this episode, I totally thought of you because you called it. You're like that crinkle nose. And you were right. By the end episode, I was like, Casey, I was rooting for you. And now like you're at the bottom of the list. Well, actually, No, Victoria's at the bottom of a list. Victoria, to me, is Victoria, like, her turn as the villain was so great last week.

Last week's episode was so, so good. I've been telling everyone about it. But before we go any further, let me just remind everyone that if you are one of the 30 million people who's been watching House the Dragon every week, we do do a House the Dragon recap on Winter is Crappening. We, our recaps are released on the Winter's Crappening feed on Mondays. And then we release the same episode here on Watcher Crappins on Tuesdays. But if you want early access, go subscribe to Winter's Crappening on whatever platform you use,

whether it's Stitcher or Apple, whatever. Also, come join us on Patreon. We always have lots of extra content there for the full Crappence experience. You got bonus episodes, Discord server. We have video content. So go over to patreon.com slash watch or crappens. And lastly, on Mondays, we do take a seat, which is a live audio show on Spotify Live, where we talk about pretty much like gossip in the Bravo world.

And we'll talk and then you guys can call in. And then we talk with you. And it's a whole big social fun thing. We have a lot of fun doing that. So check that out on Mondays at 7 on the West Coast and 10 on the East Coast. I don't know what time it comes on Paris time because I didn't put that effort into it. but I think about nine hours after whatever 7 p.m. is plus nine hours, that's when you can listen to it in Paris. That was my transition to get back into the recap.

Ooh. Well, congrats. Thank you. Here we are with real girlfriends of Paris. So you were saying that she's moved to the bottom of your list with Victoria. That's moved them to the top of my list. I mean, now those are some camp films with that. Yes, Victoria and Casey.

I mean, yeah, it's important. It's important part of the show, conflict, especially in Casey's case, because it's a conflict with herself. And I love that. I love when someone is just so mad at themselves, so they take it out on everybody else. You know, I relate. And so I love it, especially when they're wearing really stupid glasses. Well, Victoria, you make a good point because a lot of times the people who at the bottom of the list are usually my favorites. I have to say, Victoria is my favorite storyline to follow because I'm just like obsessed with

the low functioning Chloe Colette, you know, that's, that's really, that's big for me. But in terms of like, I don't know, likeability, I'm like, I'm like mad at them right now. The, we get the previously's and we, previously's on real girlfriends in Paris, we get to relive the wine splash, which really was like, honestly one of the best moments of the year for me. It was so amazing and just seeing that wine splash on Yalan's face. And again, him going for that, like, licking the few drops falling off his nose. I'd like, it's just so good. It was such a great moment for all of us.

Well, for me, my big thing was, did we talk about how small the bowling balls are in Paris? I mean, what the hell? What are you bowling with, like, children? Those aren't even children's bowling balls. I grew up in a bowling alley. What balls are those? Are they baseballs? What are they?

I just have to assume that. Everywhere around the world, that's the size of bowling balls, but in America, our bowling balls are just big and fat. Yeah, we're like, yeah, bowling balls. We're going to have the biggest bowling balls in the world. Our bowling balls have been apparently eating microwavable food with microwavable processed food, according to Margo. Our balls are the best in Texas. I think Margo is my favorite because I find her to be fascinating. Like the fact that she got out of her apartment this week was like a big triumph You know I think she was and then she shows up and she's like not good enough for me

I'm like not good enough for you you smell like dog pee from your couch get over yourself fucking kidding me exactly so anyway so we open up and this scene the way we open up the episode I'm just dying of laughter Victoria's in her apartment she's smoking a cigarette because you know France. And she's like very sad because she had this fight with her best friend slash employee that was massively unprofessional. And she's crying. So she pulls out this big ass iPad. I mean, she might as well pull out like a flat screen TV and put it on its side. And she starts to face time her co-workers, Lara and Maja, who I believe her mother or daughter. So she she facetimes them to tell them what happened. And she goes, Laura. And she starts sobbing to him.

She starts sobbing, and she's doing that smoking, like somebody who doesn't know how to smoke, where they take a little bit in and they go, you see their mouth kind of puff out, and then she blows it out. It's like a little kid learning how to smoke. So she's like, and Laura's like, are you laughing or crying? She goes, it went really bad. I mean, I lost my shit like a psycho bitch and like that tornado inside of me that I like thought it. under control like I just wanted to teach him what a good friend is and then you know Laura and Marja were like you know if she were a real French girl she would just smoke cigarette and just stare at the window properly no not these tears and crying right I feel like

in France you need to learn how to cry internally yeah I feel like the tear ducts are inverted so when you cry you your cheeks might puff up a little bit because there's like a water gathering inside of that there those are in terms Colonel Ducks, man. Maja's like, okay, we need to fix this situation. Okay, first of all, put black and white filter on your face time. Second of all, I call accordion player. Okay, go over to Victoria's house and help her out a little bit.

She's a sad accordion playing the background. And she's like, stop. You have to stop trying to be a good friend. He went to see your boss, Ginny, the girl that can actually fire you to communicate how happy he was about you. And he called everyone in the company about how crazy you are. You gotta love the guy's Gumpshin.

I mean, yes, and just that he took the time to call everybody. He's just like going on his cracked-ass phone. He's got like a little bloody index finger for trying to swipe through. Well, he did promise you are done in Paris. You were done in Paris. Sorry, I would not believe

what she did to me with potato. They're like, with fruit? No! Yes, the palm fruit. It was bad enough for divine, but the palm fruit, I'm doing like a German accent. So Victoria is like, I feel guilty.

I shouldn't have done half the things that I did. He knew exactly what would provoke me and he did it. He did it on purpose. I was just trying to be a good person. Like, oh yeah, yeah. You were a great person in that. And he was not provoking you until he said that thing when you actually threw the drinking fries. But you were yelling and screaming before that.

And you can't tell me that that guy has. been anything other than that guy the whole time that you've known him. That's true. Like, Yohan has never just shown up and been like, oh, really? Why don't you tell me about your feelings about me? And I'll just not say anything about it. I felt like he was very calm and collected during all of that. Yeah.

Well, I mean, the thing is that, well, he kept on, like, smirking and laughing to the point where I was like, is this, are you, like, is this all staged? But I think it was actually real. But, but she, I mean, she's acting like. I just wanted to be a good person. I'm like, well, how about you try being a good employer first and have this meeting in the office the way you should have had it? And you don't start talking about how he's been a bad friend to you.

You just focus on the professional shortcomings he's been having. Right. And so Laura's like, well, this isn't, no, no, Laura, it's the daughter. She's like, this isn't teaching you more about Joanne. It's teaching you more about you. Yeah. He's been super manipulative. The unspoken part is, and you suck.

He's being super. manipulative and he's strategizing on how to like backstab you and that's like unacceptable. And Victoria is just like sniffing her a cigarette. Like the fact that she said I was just trying to be a good person. I mean it was just it was like it was exactly the sort of, you know, breakdown you'd expect like you know like it was just so it was so it was such a deeply unprofessional moment on top of an already deeply unprofessional moment. But also so, like, it was perfect. And then she hangs up and drops the face and lights another cigarette to show us how stress she is badly. And then she's sitting next to this tiny little teddy bear on the couch. I mean, seriously, what's it going to happen when you finally get rid of that damn teddy bear?

And some baby is stuck with that secondhand smoke teddy bear. Like, why is our baby's first words coming out like Jody Foster? So then we go to Ajah and Margo. Margo has made it out of the apartment. They're going to a place called caviara, and I'm just like, oh, my God, look at all this food. I want to put that in my mouth right now because I love giving blow jobs. I love sex. Oh, and the, look at Paris.

Look at the people of Paris. Look at Parisian pedestrians. They showed a guy going up the stairs with a blown out umbrella. And I thought that was so funny. I like, are they? Is he actually doing it right? Because this show is like, you're stupid. But you've been using umbrellas wrong the entire time.

I know. I was like, ha, ha, you're inelegant and not French anymore. So they're trying to find things in this story that have fives for a housewarming. And Margo's like, yeah, I think we're going to need some foie gras. It's like, all right, all right. Listen, I will give her a foie gras. But what was weird is that when she said Blenies, she was like, I'm like, wait a second.

I don't think Blenis is a French word, okay? That deserves a Russian accent, man. I think. I don't know. And the guy's like, would you like to try something with mamelah done on it? And she's like, is there cinnamon in it? Oh my God, I told you there was going to be cinnamon.

Yeah, we'll get this. We'll get the Christmas marmalet. Thank you. So then I just like, she's like, the biggest difference in food culture in America and France, Americans are just like about getting as much money as possible out of their customers. But in France, it's about the food and savoring the moment.

I'm like, well, as far as I can tell, that guy just upsold you on the Christmas marmalade, so. He's like, would you like these marmalade a super-slice? Would you like a Diet Coke with his momolade? Apple pie or apple slices or salad or french fries with these marmalade. Yes. So he's like, uh, foie gras with caviar on the side. And I'll just like, oh my God, this is worth it.

It's the caviar and the foie gras. and the foie in one. Ew. Fish eggs and duck liver. Delicious. I trust it. I personally am ready for it. Let me tell something.

As much as I make fun of really anything happening on this show, I literally want to be each and every one of these girls. I want to be doing their life. Like, I want to be with them. So then Margot... These are like Emperor's New Clothes food to me, where everyone's like, oh, my God. So basically, this guy, like, shoved food down a goose's neck. with his fist until the goose died, and then we cooked its liver.

And people, and it's delicious. It's really expensive. And I was like, oh, my God, that is so good. Well, whatever. Enjoy the shit that you put into the ground and had a, had an, and covered with more animal shit. And then it grew up and made a leaf and you ate that. See, it all sounds gross if you think about it.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Vegetables are grown out of shit. But what is, what is corn syrup grown out of? No one really knows. I mean, we say corn, but is it really? Well, that's a good segue into talking about what Margo misses about American food. She's like, I miss junk food and microwavable foods. I just, I love anything that's microwavable because it cooks so fast, you don't have time to bail out halfway through, you know.

And anything with artificial coloring, anything that's processed. I love, I miss artificial coloring. It's so funny. It is a very specific thing. I haven't had Cheetos in a long time, so I bought like the H-E-B brand. Like, they're neon. I mean, your fingers are covered. What is this on my finger?

It's neon. You know, I was like, does this burn? Or is it just that it looks like kind of nuclear waste that it's burning? But I'm with you, girl. Yeah. So then Margo's like, oh, what's new with your, the guy you went bowling with who's German and whoever he is, what's new with him? And I'm just like, it's good.

I mean, like, I work New York, New York hours. And he's a bartender. So like we basically see each other from like 2 a.m. to like 12 p.m. So like we're sleeping half the time. And did you want to hear the full story? You look like you're already zoned out. Yeah, I don't do full things. Yeah, I didn't really.

Yeah, I wasn't really asking for that. I was just asking so I could say, oh yeah, Victoria's neighbor Gabriel has said, wait, I'm sorry, Victoria's neighbor is setting me up with an Italian guy. And I'm like trying not to get too excited. Really? Could you try to get excited? I'm just like, could we go the other way? Let's go the other way down that road. Let's just try it.

So she's like, yeah, I got out of a two-year relationship a year and a half ago. It was actually supposed to be a four-year relationship. And now, you know, I'm ready to rumble and I'm single and ready to mingle. Yeah, it was really supposed to be a four-year relationship that I got out of 12 months ago. So they're like, what game should we have for the housewarming party? In my mind, by the way, I'm like, does anyone have a new place that needs to be housewormed? I don't, I don't know. So then, I just like, we should play pin, play, let's play pin the wiener on Chris Evans.

You know, Marco's like, I don't get it. And she goes, Chris Evans. She says, no, no, the other one we like. Who do we like? Tom Hardy. She's like, yeah, I love Tom Hardy. They're, ah, Tom Hardy. And they leave, and it just closes up on the shop owner guy.

He's like, oh, God, X-0.99 cent, stupid Americans. I know. They fell for old Christmas marmalade ploy. He pulls out a jar of smuckers. It smells like orange marmalade. He goes and puts another check on the board, like, sold another one in the marmalade contested work. Stupid girls buying Christmas marmalade on March 5th.

So then we go to the cops on horses. Oh, simpler times, am I right? And is Anya and Mathieu walking together? And she's like, oh, my God. I am so excited for you to meet my friends. You're really going to love my friends. This is going to be so amazing. And she looks really nervous.

Yeah. Because she goes and she meets up with Kristen and Fred, who are the owners of like a chateau in the south of France. And by the way, two things I want to mention here. First, Anya is wearing a brooch, but the brooch is a fried egg, which I really, really liked. And the second thing is, I don't think we've actually mentioned this. I think we keep forgetting.

And if we did mention it, I apologize for bringing it up again. And her confessionals, she's wearing an ariola shirt. Have we talked about this yet? We did in the preview video that we did. But yeah, she's wearing like a little booby shirt. There's boobies on the outside. So we give two thumbs. I'm giving two thumbs up to Anya's her sartorial humor.

So anyway, so she is, Ania's still pitching this thing of like Firestone events where you go to a place and everything you go get everything there is for sale including the house which okay good good luck good luck with this idea you go somewhere where everything is for sale they have art they have jewels they have um food i'm like marshals you know it's called le marchelle in france so they meet these friends and um she also gives tours at the leave i don't know if you mentioned that. She's like my other friend who goes to her as a loop. So they have this meeting and she's like, oh my God, Kristen, hi. And Kristen's like, oh, I brought a bag. I'm about to marry poppins the bottles. All done. Mary Poppins. Get it? I'm like, fly on an umbrella. Do something.

Drinking wine at a restaurant does not make you Mary Poppins. Okay, Kristen. You're already pushing me, All right. So, Anya's like, she's like, well, I would like to talk to you about my business. Because my idea is for a business that's aimed at sophisticated, high net worth grownups who are interested in culture and art. Like, just say it, rich people. Okay. So she's like, okay, so here is the plan. We will gather people together.

We will have dinners and we will have earrings out there, but we will pair the champagne with earrings. They'll want to buy earrings, but they'll also want to buy champagne. And they'll say, what could I wear with my champagne? It'll be earrings. And what they'll say, what could I drink with my earrings? my earrings. It'll be champagne. It'll all work. And if they want to buy a suit, they can buy a suit too. And Kristen and Fred are like, uh, we know you want something for us. Well, I got this idea because at the Louvre, we had this dinner in front of the Mona Lisa. And it's really hard to

cook for a woman who never really fully smiles. It keeps everyone on their toes. We all felt very fat and judged the whole time. And that gave me the idea to start this business. So the original idea was how do you live with art? Oh, that's a good idea I just came up with about my good idea. So anyway, I'm very interested in this. Should we shake on it? Done deal? Fred goes, uh, no, not yet. Um, I still don't really

understand how we could, I don't know what this is. I don't know what's going on. And Matthew's kind of pulling his hair because he's like, oh, he's got this smile like, look at us, doing business, business. Oh, I can't wait to whip out the watch from my pocket. Commercials. Here comes one right now. And Fred's like, no, fuck no. friends like, I was told I was come here to put the bottle of wine on television. So are we going to do more of this?

No, but I like it. I mean, if, you know, if they like the wine, I mean, this could lead to a new business for you, like a new business opportunity. Like wine, which I already have business. I know. So you're saying you lady with no experience and watch, watch repair boyfriend are going to be the one that's going to make us break through. did I remind you we already have Chateau? She's like, she's like, um,

she's, um, they get it. I know my life will change. Yeah. He goes, uh, yes,

we only deal with professionals, but it sounds like an opportunity. Dot, dot, dot. Oh, I actually haven't heard that French word. No,

no, dot, dot, dot, dot, as in, please stop talking because I don't know how to finish this sentence any more uncomfortably. Huh.

I'm just like, I can't believe my friendship with someone who also gives tours that the Louvre has not peed off. It's almost like we didn't taste the same porkloin in front of the Mona Lisa. She's treating me like I only do work at the Musei Dorsay, but I'm in the Louvre too. So anyway, yeah, basically Kristen's like, yeah, so, you know, just send me a document. No, she's amazing. And she's American.

She's the American wife. She's like, oh, look at us. We're both Americans. and she's so fake and you can tell that she's American too well besides her accent but Ania's like yeah well I'm putting things together and I mean

I can find a brand that makes the most sense for your story and this is going to be great right and Kristen goes yeah sounds amazing we can figure that out yeah we can sounds amazing she goes we can try to figure that out yeah we can try to figure that out what works yeah

just a smile plastered on her face like one of the moms just told her she was going to have to do carpool that day because the other mom has a business and she's like, great, no problem. And then slams the car door and it's like, that woman's a bitch. And I'm sorry you had to hear me cuss, but fuck it. It's true. Now get me a chocolate croissant now before we go back to our chateau. So Casey's in bed and suffering from that problem. We all suffer from where your phone is vibrating, but you can't find your phone because you didn't even have the inner. to put it under the proper pillow before you fell asleep.

Yeah. Her place is even more of a mess than it was the last time we saw it. It's just going downhill. And she can't find the phone. And then it's actually just Anya asking, like checking in about like, hey, are we meeting up today? How's your visa going? And Casey goes, she's like, I'm pretty busy today. Can we meet up tomorrow?

Which everyone knows is a lot because she's been pretty vocal about not having a job. So she just oh she's got like 10 jobs Yeah She's the one that's like teaching and she's doing the tutoring where you play Nintendo Switch instead of tutoring Yeah It's very serious Ben okay you're right you're right So then um so then uh ajah is she is in bed and she's facetaming a guy named Mike who's in New York He's like hey you I'm going to go get some coffee and she's like oh I missed New York

you know, if we don't have coffee here. Basically, they just melt cheese. You drink queso here. There's no coffee in France. But, you know, I'm still working, but I'm trying to find something else to do because, like, my company wants me back. But, like, I'm not going back to an office in Long Island. And I was like, yeah, girl, I don't blame you. Yeah, I think that whole Paris, like that, like that pivot from Paris to, like, Syosset is a hard one.

So I support her on this. That is. And she's like, yeah, companies like mine will pay more in America than they do in France. So, like, getting a job in Paris isn't really my goal unless job is a new word for, do you, yeah. Tudaloo, America. I'm a French bitch now. So then, Emily, I'm only with a crazy mouth movement.

It's like, hi, I'm at the office. And it's like, she saunteres into the office and, like, looks at herself in a mirror as she walks. into the office. And she's like, oh, sorry, I'm a little late today. Wow, good job, new intern. I know that's what I was thinking. Super serious about moving up in the world. Intern who was just gifted this job that she didn't even really understand or know or whatever. Sonia Raquel. So then she's working with a lady named Lola and she goes, oh, actually I was waiting for you. So she's like, yeah, thanks. It's not a compliment, Emily. Lola is the lead intern. I just love also that Lola is forced to speak broken English, but Emily can't be bothered to actually learn and speak

the language of the country she's in. So Lola's like, there's a big e-commerce photo shoot. We have to look over looks and tell models what they have to wear and double check prices in box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. I can do Paris with the ultimate goal to bring my mom's business here and now I found myself in fashion e-commerce, e-commerce, so that stands for electricity. We're gonna have electric clothes. We should have blouses that you can read texts on.

I love that this was Emily's real, like she's finally revealed the true goal. It's like set up a satellite shop of Gina's interiors on the chans lees. Like that's just what she's gonna do. Yeah. And so she goes, yeah, well, I haven't really studied fashion and then Lola goes, oh, well, what do you want to do here? She says, I have no idea, babe. So, I don't know. That's why I'm here. Do you think Paris would be open to my mom having like a Calico fabric store here? What do you think? You know, Lola had to go through like four months of like

hit jobs. Yes. You know, or like cleaning toilets or something to get this. And this girl's just waltzing in there like, what even is this? Oh my God. El Elmo Commerce. Yeah, I love Elmo. He's big in America. This could work. Do you think Sonia Raquel would be open to my mom having just like a desk here so she could do her interior design here? What do you think? Should I ask Sonia herself? What do you think about just sending models down wearing throw pillows on their head? Hey, is Sonia Raquel interested in just buying my mom's business? And that way it's just like automatic. I've come up with a new fabric for the models. Flooring. What if we rename this loose sight? Hey, what if Sonia Raquel renames her business, Gina's interiors? What do you think? So, Emily's like, oh, my God, because she's like, okay, these are hangers. These are what clothes go on.

She's like, oh, my God, the more I learn from you guys, the more I want to do fashion. Hey, this sweater is so cozy. And then she starts touching all the clothes. She's like, oh, my God, I love this. want. It's not your clothes. Get your fucking hands off the product. Wait, hey. Do you think this blast would look good as wallpaper? I just see so many possibilities. It's like I'm doing wall fashion. I was in the fashion industry. I used to work at a button factory. So it's my first job in New York. So I pretty much know. Okay. So I just like the idea of Emily just walking down and saying,

Hey, I'm starting every century. Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we incorporate more buttons in wallpaper, right? I love fashion. So now it's Victoria. She's like coming up the street and she's going to have a meeting with Jenny. So she's like, I'm really nervous to have to talk with Jenny because like, Jenny is like the sweetest, nicest, most giving.

kindest person I've ever met, but the moment you disrespect her, it's not pretty. Yeah. I'm like so serious about showing Jenny how upset I am that I even drew like little teardrops coming out of my navel, okay? Like, it's just like that serious. So I had them on my eye, but Gabriel told me that was for murder. So I move them. Ding dong. And so Jenny opens the tour and they both that gets so American girl with each other. They're like, hey, babe. I'm so glad you're able to come back to Paris so fast, babe. And Jimmy's like, we have so much to go over.

Okay. I'm barely holding on to my sanity right now, thinking about how I had to fly back from the first date I've had in five years because you created a PR disaster for me. So I'm not a great place, but we're going to get through this. I'm sure. I'm sure I will. Did you notice that right after they're like, oh, my God, catching up, we're going to catch up. They both at the exact same time go, ha. Like this tandem sigh.

So Victoria's like, yeah, I'm a little stressed, but I know I got this. And Jenny's like, I know. So you want to take your coat off? Yeah, you want to take your coat off? Or should I maybe put that on in case you throw anything at my face? I don't know. What do you want to do, Victoria? Like, we just need to get to it, Victoria.

Mike, I'm really, really stressed. You know, it was really humiliating for me to hear about this happening. I was really, really upset because you are compromising my company that I worked very hard to get. I sacrificed financially. I sacrificed everything I was going to have by the time I was 41. No kids, no husband. Oh, wait, hold on. I was going to finish this, but my ovary just fell out on the floor.

Let me pick that back up. I really have nothing that a woman should have, basically for you. Yeah, I put all my faith in you, and all of that went out the window at the moment you couldn't handle your emotions. And I can see that you're trying to come up with some joke about Margot's groceries at the window. and I just don't want you to go there, Victoria, right now. This is a serious moment. And Victoria goes, this is not an excuse, babe, but I had nothing but good intentions. I was putting in all the effort for it not to turn out that way.

Okay, I had no idea that I would ever see this. And I'm not blaming him for my actions, babe. But I was not expecting to see that side of him, babe. And I tried to approach it the best way possible. I found an old trapper keeper and wrote in big, font like, you're a bad friend, you're mean, me no like you no more. Okay, I tried everything. It's in a notebook. So I was serious, okay? I even used a calligraphy pencil, even though I don't know how to calligraphy, okay? What side of him did you think you were going to see? There's one side,

okay? I don't think there's like 90 sides of Joanne, okay? You saw Joanne. I don't think anybody who watched that was like, oh my God, Yoanne wouldn't act like. that. Of course he did. So she's like, I'm trying the best way possible, but like, and Jen goes, yeah, I'm tired of hearing the details, honestly. The fact is, you guys gotten a major altercation in public, in Paris. I mean, we're already getting recognized because we're like this American company in Paris for the first time. I was like, oh, my God, guess what they have in Paris? thin women in ballet clothes Jenny

My God, get out of your own ass Listen, it's bad enough I have some woman named Gina trying to get her daughter Emily to have an internship at my company Now I've got to deal with this, okay? Like, is it worth me risking The face of my company? This is the real deal.

I have a lot of money going into this project And this event, whatever this event is, it is critical. Do you know how much money I could have spent on children? I wasn't using it for this business. I could have bought like 19 children. So you did this to me. I could have already had a family medical situation where I had to go back to the country town I lived in

and then fallen in love with the guy from my high school and realized that big city life is not for me. And what I really need to do as a woman is live at home on a farm while he repairs cars. And we could have had kids. I could have done that. And I chose not to. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm going off the rails.

I just wish that I had spent some of that money on a waiter to bring me a cup of estrogen. That's really all I need right now. So, Jen's like, so Victoria says, oh, my God, babe, the last thing I want to do is sabotage anything to do with Chloe Colette. She goes, just know that if anything like this happens again, there's no way I can keep you in company no matter how good your basic black stretchy ballet skirt looks. And of course, I'm not talking about you throwing wine in Yohan's face. I'm talking about the fact that you ordered fries in public.

What were you thinking? So she's like, you're going to apologize or you're out. So then we get Margo cam. Oh, my God. So Margo's doing a cam. And she's like, I'm getting ready for this double date with Alberto, which is my blind setup. And like, look at me. Like, I'm super and goofy and awkward.

I really am. I'm like nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Hold on one second. I love that they're telling her to try and do this nice, light, giggly, fun, girly, she's just like, I'm like really fun and nervous and giggly. I'm so awkward.

I'm so goofy. Look at me. Look at me just being goofy sitting in my dog's pee. So. Goofy Margo Margo She's just a regular Amy Adams there

So How do you open windows Am I right? To be fair I don't think Margot understands Frigurators Because she's having a lot of issues

With them That continued this episode later So So she goes to an ice rink And she's like I just want to put myself Out there more I'm such a hopeless romantic

Hold on one second I still got a little more in there Sorry. Does anyone have a tissue? No? Okay. So, oh, no, no, man, na, na. This is our song.

And she's like, yeah, like, I'm a hopeless romantic and I want to find love. I just, like, I don't have, like, a timeline for love. But, like, I'm going to, like, freak the fuck out if I'm still single when I'm 30. Well, I'll start freaking the fuck out. And then I'll probably just give up on it. I'm going to get halfway through. freaking the fuck out if I'm still single when I'm 30. So Victoria arrives with her neighbor, Gabriel, and the Italian guy, Alberto, who has

like a full caveman beard, as in like the beard starts at his eyeballs and goes all the way down his cheeks. Like, he hasn't, like, tamed it in any way. It's so cute, I think. And Victoria's like, be it. She's like, I'm hoping Margo and Alberto will have a vibe, because that's all I want is to I just want to be a good person. And I feel like they're both chill people and Margo's been complaining about cobwebs down there.

And I'm just like trying to help out, babe. Yeah, I'm going to really help her out. I got her like a semi-attractive guy and I'm going to face away from him the whole time so he can't really see my face. So that they all, the four of them gather to put on their ice skates. And Margo goes, wait, these are wet. These laces are wet. It's like someone was using them on a surface that might actually become wet. So then they go skating and Alberto just keeps falling down.

I think he's so cute. You know, it's like, look, with me trying. And he just falls over and over again. And Margo's like, his skills are not good. I mean, it's almost like he hasn't taken ice skating class since he was three years old. He's crazy. I love this, like, privilege of being like, I can't believe I know someone who doesn't know how to ice skate. I know.

She just turned off that he failed out of the gate. Like, you didn't even get to halfway through and then fail. Like, you just immediately failed. So she's, like, talking about being raised in New York, and he's like, oh, so what are you doing here? And she's like, I'm trying to figure out my shit. Like, I'm a little all over the place with work. I'm, like, in my exploring phase. Like, all over the place with work, you haven't even gotten out of the place to get to the work, you know?

Yeah, I'm in my exploring phase. right now I'm trying to figure out like how windows work and um she's like yeah like he's nice and he has a great structure I just want to restile him so bad could you say that when you're not wearing a giant pink feathered job in your confessional like who are you yeah she's like the shirling hoodie situation was like so so so so bad and like but that's just like my styling brand I would have done very minimalist like a little shaker you know I would have done a good job but Gosh, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Anyway.

It's like be a stylist. What I really love doing is styling people. God, I wish I knew what to do for a living. I know. I know. I'll create an agency with no experience. For stylists. I mean, crazy.

For stylists, that way I can be near styling people. Right. So then they're all eating on the steps. They're all having like, I was going to say ice cream, but it's actually like some kind of bread which, you know, I hope it was a croissant. And they're doing like, let's do, like, cheers with our croissant. That's amazing.

So, Victoria, so everything Gabriel's told me that it was like, like, Gabriel's an extreme foodie. So, like, I came home the other, wait, guys, listen to this story. I came home the other day, and he was like, oh, my God, do you want risotto? Because my friend, Gabriel, I mean, what's his name? My friend Alberto is, like, making risotto. And it was like that best risotto I've ever had in my life. Like seriously.

And I was like, is this rice? It's just risotto? And they were like, no, it's risotto. And I was like, dead. I like died right then. Babe. And Alberto, once again, I'm so sorry for throwing that in your face. I was like really trying to be a good person and be there for the risotto.

But like, I don't know. When you brought up that it was carbs, it was like a lot. But like, babe, it was so good before then. And Alberto's like, yeah, so whenever you want to cook, I will cook. And she goes, I'll let you know. Oh, fuck off. Like, all she had to hear was risotto and she was done. She's like, trash.

I know. She's like, is that microwavable? No, it's fresh. Okay. Don't call me. I'll call you. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

So she says. Oh, my God. Like, you're the prize here? Are you kidding? this handsome man who ice skates even though he doesn't know how and offers to make you risotto after buying you a croissant and you're like I don't know how to open a window I don't know I wasn't totally overwhelmed with alberto but I thought the risotto was attractive I was like well if he's gonna make you risotto that's a pretty good one so um uh so so margo's like yeah he's sweet

but I'm not feeling that chemistry like my vagina isn't dancing you know because like you know when you see a guy and you get that feeling and then your vagina starts dancing, mine wasn't dancing. Yeah, that's what vagina's dancing means. It's like this feeling, like you get a spark and it like shoots down to your vagina. I'm like, oh, okay, Margo, I think we got it. But thanks. So then this teenager sees them with camera crew and he's like, oh, hello.

Like he comes up and he comes right up to Victoria, of course. And Margo's like, oh my God, he's like 15. God, Victoria gets all the men, all age. ranges. So he comes up and he's like, ah, phone number. And she's like, um, how about Instagram? He's like, okay. And then he like,

turns to Gabriel and goes, oh, is she a girlfriend? I'm so sorry. And Gabriel's like, no, no, it's good. It's good. That's my neighbor. Isn't that hilarious? And then she tells us, Frenchmen are always doing the most to get your attention. And like, this kid

is going to have so much game when he's older because like, points to Gabriel for like how he's even handling this like it's so crazy and then she says I mean he definitely has some balls like he is gutsy as fuck like he sees us sitting two and two and with a guy twice his age you guys I'm like this is how I am I've learned I'm not like I don't see men or women or boys or girls I see followers like wow steep meanwhile watch like some like hot y'all young girl walk up to Gabriel now and be like, hi, excuse me, you're so like attractive. Do you mind if I just get your number? You know what?

Get out of here, bitch. You don't know if he's not my boyfriend or not. Get out of here. Come on. Get out. The girl goes home like wearing French fries. So we go to a photo shoot that Emily is working at and she's over, she's looking over the shoulder at the preview pictures, you know, as I scroll up on the computer screen.

And she's like, oh my God, you know what? It should be like tucked in. It should be like tucked. into parquet. Wait. Hey, hey, I have an idea. Can we put like Travertine on her? What do you guys think? And she tells us at this photo shoot, I feel like super shocked at like how my advice or opinion like it's going over. Like it like has a lot of way. You know what? I like that angle better. And she's like, okay. Oh my God. I just like changed everything. I can't wait for that. Sonia Raquel X. Emily. from Girlfriends in Paris co-lab

that's going to hit the runways this fall. Layla's a new creative director, and she's like so inspiring. She's like worked at Balenciaga. And like other amazing houses, not in houses. I mean, I've kind of worked in houses. My mom is kind of like the Sonia Raquel

of Joanne's fabrics, you know? So then like, then there's like a picture. She goes into the dresses. I don't have to say this part because I loved it. She goes into the dress. dressing room with, I guess, a photographer. And she's like, so which look are we doing next? Oh, I see. So you, you put them in a different order. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Shut up. Like, you memorize the order of all these racks.

Give me a break. No. She's like, fashionable is a broad term. Like, everyone has their own definition of what is fashionable and like what is not. Like, I would like to think I'm fashionable. I just wear what makes me feel good. Just watching French people watch this, be like, not fashionable, no. I know, I know. You guys, everybody who knows Emily knows, Emily wears lipstick. So I'll say that much. That's fashionable wearing red lipstick. Disgusting American.

It's my favorite Emily moment today. So Emily's like, you guys, like in this picture, I like the pony toe, because it's like cowgirly. Like, people love cowgirls. Yeah. Hey, I understand exactly what's going on, and I know exactly what Leah is looking for, and I'm just like, have confidence and I have opinion, yeah. So I just, like, hope that this could result in a job. Like, maybe there's a future in fashion with me. And you know, this bitch is going to get the job.

And Lola, the head intern, is going to be out on the street again. I know. And Lela or whoever goes, oh, this look, it's very American. She goes, yeah, basically, I love fashion now. So this can go in the microwave. So now we go to Anya's apartment and she's like setting up teacups and everything. And Casey comes over and Ania's going to help her with this visa situation. And she's like, so are you going to try to do the auto entrepreneur visa?

Okay. Because I feel very compelled to take Casey under my wing because she's been through the, I've been to the French visa process multiple times. I did my opera visa, my teaching visa, my master's student visa, my, my, my, my, my fried egg broche visa, my French husband visa, that was my favorite. I'm currently on the promise to buy too much from China, too much China from thrift stores for fancy T's visa. So I'm really hoping that that works out. I knew that this was, this friendship is going to start going sour because when Casey comes and she opens the door, she goes, Casey goes, oh, hi. Oh my God, look at you. All pink today. Normally, I'm pink. I was like, oh, that is,

that is a bravo sign for shit's going to go down throwing it down that is like the house of the dragons when alison shows up in a green dress like that's the version of it that's literally vanderpump and erika remember like oh pink is my dress like you don't rob a color bitch So, I mean, it's like, okay, so did you make the business plan that we spoke about so that we can present that to the prefector? And Casey's like, oh, I haven't done that yet. And like, I, like, I said, well, what about the letters that you have the, that you're supposed to get? Oh, I didn't get the letter. I have them in my head. They're like drafted, but like in my head drafted, but not written. Yeah.

She's like, you don't have the letters? No, but I'm drafting them. Yeah. I literally have plans to draft letters. When is your appointment to go to that? Take it's actually on Friday. And I was like, huh, huh, huh, huh. So she says, you know, you have to come with 14 different papers.

Electricity bills. Prove that you live in your apartment. A bank statement, proof of income. Directions to your favorite, croissant. Okay? How many times you've gone to Louv and gone on a tour with me, Anya's tours? Yet they ask for all of that. You need more papers at the prefecture, then I need plates on this table right now to eat a pair with this poor person.

So she's like, so your plan is that you're going to give all of this on Friday? And she's like, yeah, well, yeah. I mean, that's why I'm here with you. And you're going to show me what to do. And then I'm going to go home and I'm going to do it. And she goes, okay, let's go to the visa wizard. I'm saying, the visa wizard, you need help going to the visa wizard. Yeah, go to the Visa Wizard website.

And she's like, okay, so what's, what's your account? You made an account, yes? And Casey's like, no. Anya's just like staring fire into the laptop. Casey's like, let me write that down. Make account. Can a four, let's see, can a foreigner create an auto? Address to French consulate in your place of residence.

Okay, that means you have to go back to L.A. And Casey's like, ah, ha, ha. And she puts her, like, does this hand motion above her head. And she's like, what is that? She says, I'm trying to crawl out of this hole I'm in. Can you not see? Oh, my God. Okay, look, I'm going to stay up like the next three days.

I'm going to get it done. Like, that's just how I roll. But if I do have to go back to L.A., can you, like, book that ticket for me? Can you just do it for me, please? I know. And she tells us, I'm a buzzer-beater. So, like, if that's what comes from being a procrastinator, then, like, make a name tag and stick it on me.

Procrastination nation. Anya's looking at her like, it's been lovely knowing you. I'm sure I'll see you in the United States someday. Yeah, Anya's like, they're not giving me enough free thrift store China for this. Like, I quit. Fuck this.

So now we go back. I'm kidding me? So now we go back to Margo's apartment. And now it's the latest chapter in Margo's refrigerator follies. So Ajak comes over and she's like, hey, so I told my housekeeper because I, I, you know, because I left all those food in my fridge, like, just throughout whatever's bad. And he misunderstood it.

And he threw out all the stuff we bought at caviari. And I'm just like, everything. Is your house cleaner, Yoam? Well, you don't need to throw out the stuff that look bad. So I did. Everything. I don't like that. It looks stupid.

I don't want to eat that. It's doing it out. Yo, I'm just like in a little French maid costume. He's like, like he's in a clue. It's on like a fur coat with like a little apron over it. So, I just like, I am devastated. That's the only reason I'm showing up. I mean, you don't have penis here, do you?

Is there any penis in the house? No, okay. Yeah, I'm really sad. And Margot, Margot says, yeah, I mean, we re-bought stuff, but, like, it's probably not as good. And, like, I got home yesterday after my double date because, like, you know, I don't know if I told you, but victorious lover, got me up with this guy that he did his master's with. I'll just like, yes, I fucking know. I'm just like.

Our last scene was filled with the details of this shit, okay? I was just like, wait, are we just going to gloss over the fact that you re-bought this food? She's like, I know you just went to the local supermarket and just got frozen sliders. No, not at all. I totally did not get frozen sliders. There's no foie gras with a goose that digested, like, you know, fresh caviar before it was slaughtered. Okay. So then Margot was talking about Alberto and saying how she's like, I just felt bad for him.

He was like, he was very sweet. I'll give that to him. But I didn't make my vagina dance. Yeah. Hey, and so then they start talking about to the... Do you know what vagina dancing is? That's when, like, you see a guy and then you get this feeling. And I know what vagina dancing is.

All right. I can figure it out. I can figure it out. Okay. Hey, maybe that'll be my job. Like, professional explainer of what vagina dancing is. No, try again. Yeah.

And she's like, what is your vagina? And she goes, your vagina is a boy? Because she says, what does she say? She says, she says something like he's not, he's not dancing. Like she sort of mixes her senses up and she refers to a vagina as a boy by accident. Yeah, it's not what makes him dance, she said. And she goes, oh my God, your vagina is a boy? Like, what's his name?

Mine is Guadalupe. Margo's like, well, I don't have a name because let me guess you started thinking of it and you gave up. Yeah. So Margo's like Then they're joking about that they believe The Anya probably named her vagina And I was just like I bet it's named like Genevieve And Margo's like, Or Hemingway

And I'll just like Mattois Schlong is probably like Oscar Wilde or something Which is funny Because I don't think she's making a gay reference on purpose But So then we go to Emily Cam My favorite part of the show She's like, guys

I don't know if I need, I don't know if you can tell, but like, I'm in my closet and no comment needed. I have too much shit. So like, oh my God, I don't know what I'm going to wear it. Anybody who knows me knows, I like lipstick. Yeah, I just got like all this clothing from Sonia Raquel. They're like, here, you just take it. Take it. We love your mom.

You take all this clothing. And then like, Lolo was like, but wait, I want some. And they're like, no, Lolo, you don't get any. so funny this workplace. Yeah, it is hard to watch half the cast struggle. You know, it's like, oh my God, I spent all of my money to get that foie gras and you don't have it. And then you see this girl in her two-bedroom apartment where one bedroom is just used for racks of clothes. I know.

So then everyone's getting, everyone's getting ready and people are arriving. And Margo, now Margo and Arja are like, they're in new. dresses and everything and then all of a sudden margar goes oh my god what's that smell am i burning bread am i burning bread and she pulls out she has made like very sad like little ham and cheese hors d'oeuvres that were like frozen and she somehow managed to fuck those up i was like how do you fuck those up and they're like fall up ham and cheese croquette frozen frozen oh my god and meanwhile the bellinis with the christmas marmalader and the trash and the little the little squares of bread are falling off. I was like,

you can't even do that. This is so funny. And then it's like salmon, you know, on top of a plate of Oreos. Like there's just like one little piece of raw salmon. So then people are arriving and they're going to be doing Secret Santa, but no one seems to really know how Secret Santa works, even though it's in the name. Like all the directions are in the name. But Anya shows up and apparently everyone,

no one also knows how to wrap their Christmas presents. they're having her wrap all the presents. They all made on get to it. That's funny. She's like, well, Jews know Christmas. I mean, just like all the Jews wrote all the Christmas songs, a Jew wraps the gifts. It's very on brand. And then Victoria rubs.

Oh, my God, babe. And they walk into the living room. And then we see Margot's Christmas tree, which is so Margo. It's kind of like, it's just like an assemblage of like pine branches or something with blinking lights. It's like the equivalent of a motel that had like a vacancy sign that was flickering, you know? And Casey's like, oh my God, your place, like it feels like so like a home. A sad home. It always cracks me up when people say that.

You're in a house. So then Casey's like, yeah, I want to stay in Paris and like Paris is my home. But like the cup is empty. And it's hard to pretend that the cup is full. or even like half full because like the cup is empty. And I hope you'd like that saying because I'm going to use it like 20 times than the next scene, everybody. So buckle your seatbelt. Well, to be fair, the cup is empty because Victoria spilled all the contents on someone's face.

So then Margo is giving out like Santa hats and everything. And Victoria goes, babe, oh my God, I forgot how secret Santa works. Do we need to Google the rules? You know, Casey was like, do it for me. Do it for me. I don't want to. Do it for me. Please, please.

So Ani is like, the rules are different because I think this is like the first time. So like you're not supposed to tell people, but I already know whose gifts everybody got for each other. So like it's so unfair already. So Audrey goes first. I just want to say that Margo tries to explain the rules. She goes, so we're just going to hand sporadically the gifts out and then guess. I like this idea that like you sporadically give gifts out and like have a guessing moment. Like every 10 minutes a gift goes out.

I mean, isn't that how sick? It's not white elephant. You just give gifts to people and it's a secret. I think the whole thing is supposed to give gifts. And then at the end, I think you, you guess who. Yeah, it's like not, it's not intricate rules. Yeah. You get a gift, you guess who it's from.

So, Aja gets a waffle machine from Victoria. I would be offended. I know. That's what I was thinking, too. Yeah, she gets, I'm surprised Victoria even knew what that was. If the skinnyest person, if like the skinny girl brings me a waffle machine, She's getting the fuck out of my house. I will keep the waffle machine.

But I'll never talk to that hooker again. And we all know it was a re-gift, right? Like, was that so blatantly a re-gift? Like, you could see, like, all the fingerprints that of, like, of people have previously gifted it. Like, that was so obviously. It's, like, crusty. She's going to open it. It's going to have, like, dried up batter hanging off the edges.

And Gabriel's at home, like, um, where's my, uh, my friend Miguel, basically? Gabriel's, like, licking all of his apartment. Meanwhile, poor Adja, I mean, she has, like, friggin, like, support. going right through her kitchen. You think she has room for a waffle maker in that place? The whole thing felt that's aggressive. So then Emily gets a coffee table book from Margo, which, you know, cheap. I mean, you're very rich.

Yeah. A coffee table book? Give me a coffee table. How about that? Emily's like, I love Tasha. And Margo's like, yeah, I thought you would. I was like, you guys, stop saying that you were the one who gave the gift. Like, you're ruining the fun of it.

So then Victoria gets a gift certificate. I love this one. I love, go on, just say it, but it cracked me up. I love experience gifts. Awesome. Oh my God, this is from awesome. It is, by the way, the cheapest of all the gifts. It's like the lowest effort one, which was, it's a certificate for brunch for two.

Can't wait to booze and bond. Billiance gifts. Because it's also kind of a passive aggressive gift. It's like, I'm buying you a sandwich. But also, by the way, experience gifts are like, it's a shopping spree. You're going like hang gliding. You're not going down to the corner cafe. So then Casey's like, oh my God, I love this bag.

It's a bag. And Emily goes, it's literally a U bag because it's pink. And then the origin story of the future Anya and Casey Trouble. I love that the pink just keeps coming back. So Casey pulls out like a nice water bottle. Shut up. I lost my other one. Who knew?

It's like, yeah. Like I don't think anyone, I think it's just like you can make an educated guess that you've, that she's, at any given day, she's lost her water bottle. And I like that everybody knew that Emily got the water bottle because it's like such an Emily thing. Merry Christmas. I think it's a water bottle. It's like, does this have your mom's lipstick on it?

It says Sonia Raquel on it. So then Casey's like, there's like a nice little like note in there. So Casey's sort of like fake crying about it. And then now for Anya's gift that she's going to receive from Casey, she has to like get down on a knee and she has to like put her phone up because basically Casey is doing an elaborate Dropbox moment. And honestly, is this what all Gentiles do? Anyone? She's like nighting her, you know? Yeah.

And so she gets on one knees and Casey's like, yeah, hold your phone at. And Aja goes, yeah, I just like, I want to drink. No, hold on. So they do it. And she has bought her a ladyship, which whatever happens with Casey from now on, that's a good gift. Yeah, that's fine, I don't know you could do that. Yeah. She buys her like a tiny little plot of land that officially makes her a lady.

I mean, that really is knowing Anya, you know, that's a good gift. I'll give her credit for that. Yeah. So then they sort of settled down and Ania's like, okay, well, now we have to have official girl talk. Is anyone going on any dates? And like before anyone can say anything, Victoria starts like, starts her spiel. And she says it in a way as if they all care and you can tell no one cares.

She's, well, Amela. Like, we're still talking and she was supposed to come here for news. years, yeah. And unfortunately, due to COVID, France had to close its borders to people. And it's just like, I don't know why France had to do that. Like, I'm not blaming France, but like, I'm trying to be a good person. And like I had good intentions and inviting her here. And like, I just feel like France didn't realize that. And she says, Gabriel knows about him now. And then she tells us, I'm very open and honest. And I was like, wow, another episode just cementing your villain status. Yeah. And she's just going, on and on. Like, Gabriel knows about Amel and Amel knows about Gabriel and they just like know about each other and like I like being, so she's going to be able to come in January and like we're just like so. Everyone's just like passed out asleep while she's yammering on. So then someone asked about Casey's visa. There like any updates on your visa? And she's like, well, I managed to finagle my way into a prefecture appointment, but I just, I don't think it's going to work out. And

she's wearing like these yellow sunglasses and I just have to point it out. because they start getting more and more wonky on her face. Like, I don't know if she's, like, getting nervous and, like, wiping her face, but they're, like, completely crooked on her face by the end of the scene, and she looks fucking deranged. So, Emily's like, well, I can tell you that I was, like, stressed out about it, but it always works out, and she goes, no, it doesn't always work out. And you know what?

I stopped being friends with a girl who told me it was going to all be fine, so don't tell me it's all going to be fine, because I'll get upset with you, and I don't. Want to get upset with you. Sorry, I forgot to turn this off. So then, Ajah's like, well, have you, like, just, like, enrolled in the Sorbonne for, like, a student visa? It's too late to enroll. They're like, no, you can do it literally any time.

Just take an English class and you get a student visa. She goes, oh, my God, I need to write that down. I need to write that. I need to write it down. They're like, huh? She's like, will you sign me up? Because I literally don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.

Like, where's the website? Like, tell me the website, okay? And I'll do it right now. Just tell me the website. Will you do it? Will you go to the website and do it for me? Please. Please, please.

Oh my God. And so Casey, Amia's like, well, let's not do it right now. She's like, seriously, like, I need to do it now. And Mark goes, like, seriously, maybe when you're stressed and, like, calmer, like, I'm so welled up right now. What were we talking about? I know.

And Casey's glasses are completely askew now. And she's like, can you just do it for me? Just do it for me. She's turning to a rat to rabbit. She's like, please, please, please. She's losing it. And they're like, you're a grown woman.

You know, and she's like crying now. And Ania says, every woman goes through this. What is this? Her first period? It's a signing up on a website. Everybody goes through it. Yeah. And then Casey's like,

fine, there's no options I'm going home. And they're like, just sign up at the Sorbonne. And she goes, and Margo's, well, with this mindset, you will. I'm like, oh, all of a sudden Margo's going to act like she's the go-getter in this group. Yeah. And so Casey says, as much as I appreciate them trying to encourage me, it's like a frustrating knowing the reality that I'll most likely have to go home half empty. The glass is half empty.

That's just it. And she tells them, in my mind, the glass is half empty. and like I have to go home. And like I'm praying for a miracle that like a miracle would be dope. But in my head, like, yeah, I'm going home. And on the plane, I'm going to ask for a Diet Coke and it's going to be half full. I mean, that's it. That's it.

It's going to be half empty. Everyone just is like, huh. And then the episode is. And everyone like immediately hates her because this is the worst. I mean, this is the worst kind of friend. that. The kind, like, not only being a flake, but being like, a website, can you sign up for me? Yeah. Really? They've all had to do it. They have even Emily, who is really become, you know, Emily is, like,

such, like, her whole character is that she's like this girl of privilege. They've all had to do this, and they're all just looking at her like, are you, like, what is wrong with you? Just like, and being a teacher, like, most of, a lot of being a teacher is paperwork. You know what I mean? It's like grading papers. And, you know, that's the most, of what you're going to be doing and you can't even sign up on a website. Come on. Oh, God, it was such a hilariously pathetic display. It was so funny. But also seeing her get so, like, upset with everybody about it. I was like, yes, this is what I need in this show. Someone who's going to get mad at people for telling her everything's going to be okay. Yeah. Yeah. Fun time. Fun, fun show.

Yeah. Well, everyone, thank you so much for being. here and for listening. We'll be back. God, big week. We've got more Beverly Hills. We've got Salt Lake City premiere. We've got Southern Charm finale. It's huge. We're recapping all of it, so just stay tuned. And we will catch you on the next episode. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. Dana do. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good.

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