Watch What Crappens - RHOA: A Very CHILL Engagement

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

Mike Hill finally pops the question to Cynthia on this week's "Real Housewives of Atlanta." But never under estimate Kenya's ability to undermine a good surprise. Plus, more fun with mystery husband Marc! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Kristy Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying okay?

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Incredible edible Matthewsisters! And... Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Watch what crap means! Watch what crap means! Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens I've been through cravings, I've been through cravings, I've been through cravings I've been through cravings, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens

I've been through cravings, who cares what happens when there's so much that happens I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewears of Kitchen Island. Joining me is a hilarious man. It's Ronnie Caram, the co-host of the Rosebrick's Madjaro's podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Hello, Ben Jamuni. Well, how are you doing in this countdown to Christmas slash Hanukkah already started. Oh my gosh, I'm doing so great.

I love Christmas, the Hanukkah, the Santa Claus, the elves, just very excited for the whole thing. I am too. I am making some applesauce ahead of a lot of a situation that's going to be happening tomorrow. And I went to sprouts. And I have never seen so many different types of apples. I mean, the Apple Apple world has blown up there. I mean, you have the standards like Fuji and Galah. And then you got

some of the things that are like a little fancier like jazz. It's a jazz apple and then there's like snap dragon apples and sugar bees and then there was one that was called Lady Alice apple and then there was juicy apple and all these crazy apples and it was like that was just the beginning. I'd never seen so many different types of apples and then it's annoying because it's like well, which apple do you choose and they were there different shapes and sizes? And I'm like I want to try them all I wanted to make all use all sorts of apples altogether But you can only do so many so how it is am I right ain't that the truth? Ain't that just live just so many apples You just can't do at all You know what there's you know what at for as many apples as there are in the

world or at sprouts, there are even more water crap and live shows. Start. Come see our jazzy apple live show. Yeah. We are the granny Smith or at least the Liz Smith of live shows. So we start up again on the 17th for the golden crappies, which is sold out. So we're really excited for everyone who is going to be coming to that. If you're looking for a ticket for that, if you didn't get a ticket, definitely go on to our Facebook group, watch our crap in live and loving it, because a lot of times people have last minute cancellations and stuff like that. So go on there,

join that group. And then here are the other shows. We have Detroit, we got Columbus, we got, we got one show left in Austin, that's not sold out, we got Houston, we got Hoover, Alabama, which is the Birmingham area, and Nola, and Kansas City, AKA Lawrence fucking Kansas, which is really not Kansas City, but you know, it's the region, Omaha Salt Lake City, home of a new house, why it's okay. Vancouver, British Columbia, Orlando, Florida, Charleston, South Carolina, Oklahoma City, Asbury Park, and then three giant shows to end our first six months of the year. DC San Francisco and Boston. Whoa, huge, huge shows there. So definitely get your tickets at watchrocrapins.com. Beautiful job, man.

Did you like that? The spirit of Luan took over as I was reading those. And I was like, I'm gonna go with it. I think maybe I'll just always read them as Luan because it was fun for me. Yes, I loved it. I'd loved doing those live shows. It's crazy having a little time off

Being just at home. I've been going to movies Just I don't know lots of like little family things. I can't wait to catch up on movies I my number one movie to see is parasite. I cannot wait to see it. So that's oh, yeah I cannot wait until that comes out on video. Good to be watching parasite I didn't know that someone made a biopic about Daniel Stobbs, so I'm just like very excited to see it. Parasite is about an old worm that won't leave a house. It's like getting some older worm to pay for the house.

She must still live in. Like, I will not leave this hole. I mean, really, like so many of the Oscar contenders could be about Bravo Stars knives out. I mean, speaks for itself. Star Wars. 1917. 19 Little Women. Birthday of like so many of our stars 1917. You know, I have to say I hate that preview for 1917. Hate it. I'm sick of it.

I don't even want to go to the movies because I know that they're going to make me watch that goddamn preview again. What is it like World War One? No. It's like, oh, we have to save. It's only this troop can save the country and by the way, your brothers over there to save too. Because God forbid, it's not enough that you're going to save the country.

You know, it has to be some guy's brother is over there. And then it's a really long preview. And then they just show this guy running. But he looks like it's like if you asked me to start running. And it's just awkward and funbly. And I'm like, just poor guy. And they made him shoot at 30 times. And he just has to run for 20 minutes.

And I just feel bad for the guy, you know. And I know he's probably like, you're my turn smelt. Yeah, it just looks really yeah, like talking. I, um, Malik, Malik, Malik, um, I, I'm the flight back from, uh, I think it's from Seattle. I started to watch, I started to watch this movie called, it was a documentary by Peter Jackson of all people that came out last year called something like, and they to watch this movie, it was a documentary by Peter Jackson of all people that came out last year called something like, and they will not be forgotten or their stories will

not be something like that. And it's basically, the whole gist of it is that Peter Jackson found all this World War I footage, and then he used his magic to colorize it and like change the speed of it. So it didn't look like old, harkey jerky newsreels. It looked more realistic. So people said, Oh, it's so amazing. So I turned it on. And I'm watching it for like 15 minutes. And it's still like black and white newsreel stuff. And all you hear are like, they found like archived voices. So in fear, like, this is all like amazing and great, right? Like we're learning, like, these are the voices of the soldiers. But this is what the entire thing was. It was like, someday we would have beat jam. Oh, you always have beat jam every day if you had apple jam those were the good days But other days you had the beat jam. We didn't know what we're doing. We were young boys

I was 15 and I said I was 18 and they had me there So I was there I was in the I was in the war some days We would be raining hours in the rain. All the days. It was not so really what it would rain I'd say that's queen mom crawling over us? It was like that like nonstop. And I was like, I'm sorry. I fast forwarded. I fast forwarded to like the colorize part.

I watched some of it. It was cool. And then I just like, I switched over to the Ritha Franklin documentary, which was much better. Oh, my yeah, better choice for sure. But are you sure that Peter Jackson didn't direct this episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta? Because that's exactly how this episode starts. Like, that's a great cycle.

Old News Reel footage. It's like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. B.J.M. Cynthia used to beat Jam and her kitchen with mine, K.O. Well, also we are gonna be happy couple and he he

he he he was since like child on a good day I get to be on my kitchen island but some days I haven't got to go over to the family room for a belly cue my new business Cynthia be champs

hashtag I think it was be. John. Maybe it was Apple jam. We got sick of it was hashtag. B. Jam. We are gonna revise history. The World War One soldiers have to have B. Jam. Yeah, B. Jam. This episode was an extra 15 minutes longer for no good reason. I guess maybe to fit in some silly news real stuff like you said and maybe even an errant French narration. Oh, this was so great. This whole episode, some of the main plus episodes, I mean, fucking hilarious. And I was cracking up at this beginning part. This whole time, we news real footage.

And well, before that even starts, you just hear the French, the French thing. It's like, yeah. I always think that's just a foveau. So, I was just a show of a foveau, a foveau, a foveau, a beatch up. And cards come up to tell us what's going on like an old-timey movie. There was once a couple in love, and then you see this old-timey movie. All the women wanted with to get married

with that being called thirsty. And then they got stu- Cynthia twerking on the ground, poorly. Mm-hmm. And then- and then- And the man was okay with that. And then it's- And then they- There's all this old-timey footage. And then, and then, and the man was okay with that. And then it's, there's all this old timey footage. And then it's like Mike with Cynthia's family asking for the blessing.

He's like, ah, it's like, I just want to, I want to someday, I'm going to ask for Cynthia's hand of marriage. And I just want to make sure that, that I want to get everyone's blessing. And the mom just goes, okay. Yeah, who does that? I would like your blessing right in front of her. She's asking, he's asking right in front of Cynthia. Yeah.

And then of course, Mal's like, I am. Um, you have my blessing. Will you help with the wind seller? It's really cool to be there. Please help me. Mal's going to open up a Mal seller where she just keeps versions of herself in the seller. Hi, it's me, Mal.

Multiplicity Mal. Hi, I'm Mal. I'm even more lifeless than the first Mal. Yeah, I multiply myself by accident, so I put myself in the seller. Lots of people to polish glasses now. How do you shrunk the Mal? Oh, whoops, I'm still the same size. Oh, well. Well, that's a big bowl of cereal. I mean, it's a regular size, but still it's a big bowl.

I like to think that Mal believes that she was drunk in, but it was a Mal function drunkenness. And so she's just the same size, but she still says that she's shrunk and shrunk. And if I just didn't work, why is everyone so big? We're in the same size now. Oh. Well, look how big that ant is. I mean, it's normal size. Rick Moranis quits acting forever.

He's like, that was the most boring movie I've ever been in. I'm not the worst reboot of Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Honey I Shrunk the Mal. So then we've got a lot of awkward time cuts to, they're telling, they're labeling every scene this time. It's like Wednesday, now it's Wednesday. Yeah. And it's, it's old time music still.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shit, I'm shit, I'm shit, I'm shit, I'm, two days before proposal. Yeah. So Mike brings Noel and then his two daughters to Solomon Brothers because I guess maybe K. Jouler's was closed. I personally would recommend Jared, but you know, so he goes to Solomon Brothers to get a ring.

And so he's just there with the girls. It's actually kind of sweet. I mean, I actually like Mike. I think he seems like a pretty good guy and his daughter seems sweet and everyone seems to like Mike. I mean, I just, I feel like when you start with Peter and then you get Will, I think I'm just happy. No one can ever be Leon.

Leon is obviously the gold standard, but you know, I think Mike is a pretty strong contender. Yeah, Mike's pretty hot, not really sure about the whole marrying things we need to don't live in the same town, the marrying people you don't live in the same town, the marrying people you don't live in the same town. But I think I like him okay. I don't know.

I don't trust Eddie Mann on Housewives. I don't trust any new husband on Housewives. That's fair. That's fair. And so the girls are like happy for Mike and Nolalgo's. You guys have such a spark that love just radiates off of you. There's something about this show where like all the kids are barely able to

emote. Have you noticed that? Yes, they put every single child through shock therapy before they put them on the show. Do we discuss this or is this something I talked about with Dom? Oh, we've talked about it a million time. Like how right? It's Riley. Riley. Caleb.

No, when there's a scene with Kayla and Riley in the same thing. Oh, I have to work for my money. I don't know what a nice tray is. You don't even know what a nice tray is. I have a job. I don't want a job. Like, oh, geez. Yeah, like this show, I mean, these kids, they are just bored.

They are bored, right? They just, the last thing they ever want to do is be on camera. Yeah. So this is pretty interesting scene. So Caitlin's like, okay, Caitlin is the ring lady. She's like, okay, let's get this wrapped up. The ring, I mean, like the scene is totally great, but like wrap it up. So let's go over to Baby Hot Dog, my favorite. So Baby Hot Dog is pulling up Porsche's strap, and Porsche's bow session is officially out of control.

This baby is gonna be bald, okay? Well, I guess, let's as we talk about edges on this show. Can we leave the baby some? Cause poor baby has like 19 bows. I didn't even notice, but that's why she did say she love bows. Yes. Last week, I think. She's obsessed.

This baby has so many bows. Well as much as Portia loves bows, it doesn't compare to how much Dennis loves a tracksuit because he has pulled up in his Most apologetic tracksuit. He has come over and like it it's like it's more I think as there's more purple and was a purple and black this this week maybe purple and white I don't know, but he was in, he was in yet another of tracks. God, but he's not in a tracksuit. I know. And it's, it's weird because I thought God, Porsche's ring is different on her ring machine thing.

It's like, it's just the music that follows the sky around wherever he is. So he's brought over a bouquet of hot dogs to apologize. And there's like a personal chef there. Hot dogable arrangement. An edible hot dog. Edible. By the way, I fully support a hot dogable arrangement

if someone ever wants to send one. I will send you a bouquet of hot dogs, Ben. Thank you. Thank you. Your birthday is now covered for next December 4th. Well, it is Hanukkah right now, Ronnie. So you're not off the hook. Darling, you've got eight days of rundling.

Eight days of hot dogs. International. What's the matter? But I'm only going to send you seven buns. Because that's how hot dogs work. Ain't it everybody So Dennis comes over and the thing is this is that Last week all season long Portia's been angry at Dennis and mad and she's been working through it understandably and she had therapy of Dennis last week and you know

Portia has been like okay, I'm going to fight for my marriage, which is fine. But I kind of thought she would go through a phase of like, like, reluctant acceptance or, you know, struggling to let this man back into her life, even though she said, yes, no, she's like back to normal now. She was like, made a macaque. She made a macaque. I don't even know why she just made him a cake Yes, and got all dressed all hot and everything for him to come over Yeah, Portia's they I just you know, Portia's gonna be like that, you know She's the one who calls you talks your head off for two and a half hours about how she's sick of it

She's not gonna take this anymore. He cheated. This is the last step and then they get back together and you're the asshole forever saying leave them in the first place Exactly and even although the producer does ask Porsche like have you given Dennis the cookies and she goes no Right. Yeah, I think there's been some cookie cookie Cookie taking um, so Dennis is, are you ready for your trip? I'm just thinking of like the Monday night football theme song. Are you ready for some football? So, Porsche, basically, she's going out of town with the other girls, you know. And the baby, this is the first time we've ever seen the baby's face move when Dennis holds her. Then she starts kind of like spitting,

coming to life, which is interesting. But then he only holds her for like two minutes and then goes back to eating his lovely steak dinner, which every man should get after fucking cheating on you while you're pregnant. Exactly. And the thing is that he's like feeding the baby and then the baby's like taking the bottle for like a little bit

And then he just like basically pulls the bottle out and the baby starts crying and Porsche is like um You only gave her like this like a teaspoon of of like formula. What the fuck? Yeah, so he's like well, we're gonna have to upgrade this ring situation And by upgrade he needs to give you one back because didn't he take the other one back? Monster And by upgrade, he needs to give you one back. Because didn't he take the other one back? Monster. He's a monster. Yeah, you're right. You're all right.

Yeah. But he knows how to keep, he knows how to keep Porsche interested. That's for sure. Because she's like, yeah, now that we're back together, he wants to put the ring on my finger. That's a big deal. That means we're a family.

It means that there's true trust. It needs to be rebuilt. I was like, okay, please you're depressing me now, Portia. Like, I love you, but this is depressing. And we've already got Mark to deal with in this episode. I know, seriously, Portia. Well, at least, at least Dennis, at least tries to act like he is in love with Portia, you know. So then we go over to Cynthia, who is, it's a day before the proposal. Wow. And Cynthia is getting a tuna melt with iced coffee.

I'm like, ah, so this way, I'm glad they documented this. That way she can always remember my last day of being single girl. I'm sorry. I got a tuna. With avocado in it. With avocado. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, this, she goes to eat at a place. It's very representative of her storyline. It's called the grind. Okay. So she's eating it when waiting forever. So you know whoever she's meeting is always late. Who's always late? Marlo.

Marlo is always late. Okay. We know personally from this podcast. Marlo is one late ass. Yeah. Yeah. People, I, people don't realize this, but what was it?

Well, probably at this point, like four or five years ago, right? What was that? It was a long time ago. It was close to when we first started doing it. And she was going to come on the show. I mean, it was like not even 20 minutes. It was like an hour and a half or so. It was crazy.

And finally, we were like, no thanks. What the hell? Yeah. Yeah, we, I mean, like, listen, we love us some Marlow, but we also love our time. Sorry, Marlow. Sorry. The hour has always welcomed to come back on the show. Like, that's fine. But like, you know, we're not gonna wait 90 minutes, okay? You don't have to tell her like three hours earlier, you know, like you do with your late friends.

Yeah, your late friends. That's a brush with the fame with Marlowe. I also actually, I'm gonna bring this full circle. I actually want some Marlowe in the wild. I saw her at Joey's Cafe on Santa Monica and sweet sir, she was in there. And at Joey's Cafe, one of my favorite things to get there is the tuna melt.

Wow, that is full circle. It's a full circle. It's a simple, full circle. It's a circle around something really boring. It's like when you're waiting for your food to come at a restaurant. Yeah, that is. You draw your finger around a salt and pepper shaker. It's that circle.

That is definitely a simple, full circle. That is a simple one. One walk, it's that circle. That is definitely a Cynthia full circle. That is like Cynthia. One walk around the kitchen island circle. Commissions, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle.

And we're the host of Wonder 's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So she's talking to Eva on the phone because that's the only place that Eva's going to shoot now is on FaceTime. Yeah, exactly. She's going to have a baby every season. Yeah. And so yeah, they're talking. Cynthia's really trying to make this snake gate thing happen. And it's not gonna happen. It's just not catchy enough. Okay. Hashtagger. I know you love a hashtag, but snake gate. The

smot, smot good enough. Yeah. It's not. And no one seems to really care about it. So it's like it's barely even like gate, you know? Like, don't you have to be a gate if something is like an excessive controversy, but this is just like some like a passing interest to Cynthia. Yes. Well, I need clarification. Let's make gate, stay gate. So she has Marlo. Marlo finally gets there. And Marlo, Marlo is like, oh, hey, I haven't been to this area yet. Behind the zoo. I haven't been to this area yet behind the zoo There's nothing inherently wrong with being next to a zoo, but for some reason the way she says it and knowing that Cindy invited her there It somehow feels so appropriate that of course Cindy. I was like let's meet behind the zoo

Yeah, that's because it's right by the seller the Bailey wine seller hashtag Bailey wine seller So she's like, okay, well, you're okay with sitting out here because it's kind of hot. I guess I'll sweat. They are. So they start talking about Kenya coming in with her marching band to Marla's big, big opening of her way. Yes. And Cynthia's like, well, okay, congratulations. And Marla's like, well, besides her interrupting it, your friend your friend your friend interrupting it and Cynthia's like, yeah Well, can you did making entrance back? You invited her so she came and then Cynthia does this new thing with her new eyes I have to say also best surgery on bravo not sure if it's surgery if it's tape if it's just a lot of Botox

Whatever Cynthia is doing. It's the best on Bravo. She looks amazing. But she does this new thing with her eyes where she just squints her eyes, like when she's like, I'm giving you attitude now. So Cynthia just gives her that squint. And Marlow's like, that was disrespectful. It was me launching my business. Who would do such a thing? I'm like, you would.

If you would 100% do that, Marlow. If you knew anybody with a drum you would have done that let's be honest. Yeah, I mean It's like I feel like she has done something like that I'm just trying to remember what it was, but I'm pretty sure she has done some ridiculous antic like that before yes And Cynthia says well my relationship with Kenya is different than yours and she's like, what do you love her? And the music stops and Cynthia just gives her that squint again. Bailey squint. Yeah, see, this is this is what happens when you have Cynthia Bailey. I wear is that you can learn how to squint behind the shades. I don't know what I'm saying. I know you would think she'd be squinting less,

but yeah, I don't know. So Marla said he said she has the new fillers. So they're very like squint, squint forward fillers. Yes. And Marla says, well, you said it was different. So I thought maybe it's different. So I said, well, I mean, it's different. Just like I know that you have a different relationship with Minion, even though you're not telling her off in public, doesn't mean that you're not giving her the business behind closed doors.

And Marla, Marla's basically her whole thing is that she just wants to make sure that Kenya is not running all over Cynthia and Cynthia's like, listen, she knows what time in this child, like, I can get her together no matter what. You can lay your wig on your end table every night and not worry about that honey Yeah, so Marla says well, you know, I just worry cuz we've come so far in our friendships

Have we really that's why I've ratted you to lunch Meanie told candy that she had a mutual friend who recorded me don't don't don't squint squint squint who recorded me, don't, don't, don't, squint, squint, squint. Would you just tell me, just tell me, first of all, you'll know if Mini ever releases this recording, which I'm still doubtful of. But if she ever records it, guess what? You're going to hear who the other person was talking to.

So the answer is there, ask for the evidence. Sir, it's seriously. Also, like, it's just like truly the least consequential detective story of all time trying to figure out about this recording. And then especially when I love that they talk about a recording when they're being recorded for a reality TV show on top of everything else. Yes. And then we get a break because there's a very very dramatic

scene. So we get a break and guess, did you see this? I was amazed. It was Miss Gail Simmons doing a movie preview, doing a Bravo movie preview for little women. It's like, okay, A, how many little women are we going to have? Okay. How many times are you going to remake that movie? It's enough Okay, stop with the little women second gale really Like gale. Oh my god. I love gale Simmons But my dear friend gale Simmons have funny someone must have a sense of humor having gale of all people Promote little women. I don't think so blizzard heart. It is so gale. Like the warmth in this

preview is so gale. She's like, wow, they were so transporting. They had gravita. I was like, okay. And then she tries to cry. She's like, I have a daughter. So it's definitely something I felt in my heart. Really gale, little women. When was the last time anyone called you that? Poor Gail, she only agreed to do the promotion because she thought it was called Little Pies. Blessor Ha. Sorry Gail, Little Chicken Winks is a different movie. I know. Oh Mara Louise Alcott is the name of a nice cream It's not the name of the author of Mary Lou's all it's not Ben and Jerry's Alcott

Gail Oh Oh, God Louise and male cut sorry Mary Louise. I'm like Mary Louise Parker Alcott Mary Louise Parker has nothing to do with the Mary Louise Parker bun gal I don't know. Okay. I'm gonna stop I'm gonna stop because now I'm not making any sense. It's also a very important scene. Did you record me? Are you recording me now and Marlowe's like are you recording me now while I'm being recorded? By Bravo so Marlowe starts to cry. Yeah, she goes right. Marla says, okay, Cynthia definitely say something. I won't record it.

Oh, Marla's like, that's, that's awful to do. That's awful. That, that you would have that tuna melt so close to my face. It really smells. That's awful. That's awful. Why would you ask them to put tuna? Why would you ask them to put avocado on a grill? Why? So it's bad enough reading tuna while speaking to my face, but you also had a grill. So it's just that much more potent, really Cynthia. How many mushy things do you need in one sandwich Cynthia? Oh Why would you melt something on top of tuna why? So Cynthia's like Well, I got it snake gate cuz only a snake would do it

I'm like actually snakes don't have opposable thumbs so good luck working on your recorder Yeah, exactly last time I checked there are no snakes on the press corps It could literally be any other kind of ad about hi. I'm herman p snake and I'm here to interview you I'm just gonna turn this stick to phone on just one second. Oh, oh god dammit another interview ruined Well fortunately I can curl my tail to hold this pencil, but I can't hold a pad because I don't have hands can I get some help Hi, uh, could someone just please press this button down? I'm I can sort of like Nudge it a little bit, but I will you know that it's just it's fair. No one. No one's gonna help me No, Barbara Walters could you do this? I, we know that it's just, it's fair. No one, no one's gonna help me. No, Barbara Walters, could you do this?

No, oh, you're tired, okay. I support you, dear, but snakes shouldn't be reported. How about you, Debra Norval? Can you, can you, Jane Polly? Oh God, this is gonna be a day. Oh, so Cynthia, let's see. So Marlowe's like, when have we been together that I could even record you? And second, when have you even talked bad about Neenie to me?

And Cynthia's like, well, that's just it. I don't think I do. Hashtag Snakegate, hashtag B Jam. I like, I like that Cynthia. I didn't even consider the basic logic of it of like like I think Marla recorded me and didn't think oh Wait, I haven't been alone with Marla in four months and the two times I have been alone with her I didn't talk shit about Neenie like why didn't Cynthia just like remember when she had conversations with people one-on-one like Yovanna where there was actual footage of her with Yovanna

Neenie's biggest henchman. Yes. So Cynthia is now confused and so she's squinting and just nodding a lot like she's figured something out, but she hasn't. So Marla could have turned this into a big fight, but she didn't. She was just like, I would never do that. So Cynthia's like, well, in the spirit of positivity, you know, I was thinking of not inviting you to my Billy one seller hashtag B. J.M. hash

Cedigate hash wine gate. I was thinking of not inviting you to hashtag wine gate But I'll invite you and Marlos like, well, you know what speaking of positive energy. What about Neenie? Maybe you should be positive with Neenie So, um, yeah, so anyway, so you have course Marlos trying to like reconcile, reconcile Neenie and Cynthia, ongoing and Cynthia's like, mm, no, yeah. And now, Candy and Todd and their tiny penis truck.

Oh God, so this scene really triggered me. So Candian Todd, they show up at a decrepit old house and there's a broken window. It's in the middle of nowhere. And it turns out this is actually the future home of Olaji Tacos and Tequila, which is the Mexican sequel to O.L.G. O.L.G.

O.L.G. Yeah, so he's like, you know, a taco place. So it's going to be a speakeasy kind of setup. Yeah, that meant yeah, exactly. Todd is just like, oh oh he is just becoming the worst I can't stand like his ideas are so basic right they're so like okay we're have a taco rest so we're in a house in the middle of suburbia and then there's going to be it's gonna be a taco restaurant but then also a

speak easy to come on now and it has everything that's gonna trigger you for sure has Todd has Todd spending candy's money Then it has Todd not only spending your money, but getting a place that needs $500,000 or whatever of remodeling Yeah, and then it even has a scene laying out why he does all of this because you know We talk about this all the time about him spending all of candy's money And I'm like, I think he's just trying to work Here we go next for the nation. Thanks, Ed.

Yeah, because we literally get like first of all candy is like not happy about this because apparently they Todd got the lease on this place or bought it like seven months ago and hasn't done anything. He's like he keeps saying okay this is what the interior is going to be and candy's like um it's been sitting here for six months. Okay. And he's like, Oh, but babe, everything I say is going to happen. Come through. I haven't had one fumble yet. Like, hmm, are we sure about that? Cause I feel like every month, every year, you have like new crazy ideas. And it's like, Kenny's ideas that are not the fumbles.

Yes. And she's like, yeah, but you're kind of missing the point, you know, like I love working, but, you know, do you keep, you, you know, like I love working, but you know, do you keep you? You had to sign another lease you have this then you got an 18 wheeler whatever the hell that is. He's like And she says well, we can't just keep spending money when we don't finish projects. He's like Stop stop And he starts doing that begging your mom for candy in the store, tones. Yeah.

And candy basically says that Todd has felt pressure to make, make his own money to prove the world that he doesn't need candy as money. And that's why like, that's why he, he does this every single season. But the thing is that he, like, I'm sure he makes money, of course, but so far we haven't seen Todd be like much of a Presario about anything. So like, um, yeah, I don't know. Well, he runs the restaurants and does all that stuff. The thing is he's trying to prove that he doesn't need her money, but he's using her money to do all of this stuff. And not only that, we see a clip of Mama Joyce, like, he's in giving you a dime, candy. And then he opens a restaurant,

but it's using the mom's image. So you're trying to prove to her mother by using her mother. I don't know. It's just, yeah, I just, I just kind of feel like I'd be much more impressed with Todd if he wasn't always, if he weren't always like trying to like kick off some other entrepreneurial thing. Like just, if he was just like, okay, I'm here like the candy's corporation and we're overseeing this and that and that, whatever. But you know, it's like, you know, I just don't trust people on these shows where every single season they've got like a new idea, a new thing because it always feels like they're just like throwing stuff at the wall and waiting for something to stick and doesn't really it doesn't speak to me of like Oh, I'm a really business savvy person. It's more like hmm. I've got a platform. I should capitalize on it

What do I like? I like staplers. I'm coming out of my own type of stapler and it's like this is not like authentic to who you are and what your passions are. Yeah, I like staplers, tacos, and, you know, horn jazz bands, but you have to have a password to get in. Yeah, that's why it's like things like Sonia with her toaster oven or a fadre, who has like, I was gonna do a funeral home and then was, I had a donkey booty video, but it's also a lawyer, like, it all is just like, what are you, what is it?

Like I understand it's a lot of it's probably mandated by the producers, like, can you like start some things that way you have something to shoot, but it still is like, it's just like crazy. When suddenly they just say, oh, and this is what I like to do now also. Yeah. So, Candy's like, come on, just get it together.

Like, finish one thing. And I've been through a recession, you haven't. Okay. And he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like,

Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, Yeah, and he's like, And he starts like,

Shaming her for like preparing for the worst, which is what a good business person should do. You know, it's like, it's like he hasn't even heard of a recession before. And he's like, wow, you're the one who's normally like, go do it. Go do it. But now you got me scared. It's almost like you're scared of success. And she's like, uh-huh. Oh, don't you can't play that with me. Yeah, she's like, I am success. So, and let's, let's not like over, you mentioned this before, but let's not overlook the fact that with the renovations to O L, O L G, I'm sorry, to O L G breakfast and some other place and O

L G, that's all going to cost $660,000. Yes. And she keeps asking, she, she lists it. She's like, so what about this project? She's like, oh, 100,000. Yes, and she keeps asking, she lists it. She's like, so what about this project? She's like, oh, $100,000, and what about this project? Oh, about $100,000, and what about this project? Oh, just a few $100,000. Oh my God, go make some money, how about that?

Yeah, yeah, seriously, drive Uber. Yeah, so you'll get that $500,000 for a remodel and no time. Yeah, but either'll get that $500,000 for a remodel in no time. Yeah, but either way, she's, Candy is like, I've out lasted a recession. I know how it goes and I'm safer in my moves. So like, take me out and date. Yeah. So now let's get to Cynthia.

At her Bailey seller, she's like, last year I found this amazing space for the wine seller and the Bailey room. Bailey room, which I guess is a party rental space. I don't know. I feel like Cynthia every season does something with a large empty room. It's like every single season there's some other large empty room that needs to be like debuted. Right. Yes, but this one's gonna have lots of plastic vines in it. But every one person really needs to see some plastic IV vines stapled. Yeah. Exactly.

The thing says why I'm like plastic IV. Yeah. Oh, so she's going over it with her party planner and then everyone starts to get ready for this party and just so you guys know it is 1207 PM. Well, can you send her? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then I was like 148 PM Porsche is getting into like she's trying out a yellow outfit, but it like shows off too much of her post pregnancy pooch. And she's like, I can't wear this. I'm like, why do we have time stamps about like when she got into a Tweety Bird dress?

Yeah. So then Mike comes in and he's not dressed for the party yet. He's just in his regular shirt, his regular t-shirt, but he hugs Cynthia and he looks right directly in the camera which is another reason I don't trust him. Why? I don't know, but it bugs me.

He's like, hello camera. Hello, my first love. He's a sportscaster. He's like used to looking directly into the camera That's like that's like okay for him. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'll get off him for right now But then he's wearing a t-shirt that says tequila helps like nice thing to wear to a wine cellar Yeah, seriously. Um, hello. Are you promoting the wine cellar or the nascent oh L. Lay oh lay gang? Yeah, and then candy and toddler arriving everybody's basically just arriving and giving them shit, you know like oh Congratulations with your most expensive bottle

I'm gonna totally buy this with my own money. Ha ha ha. Yeah, of course Todd does that and so then Candy's like, say no, Cynthia, I'm so proud of her. She keeps coming up with different ideas. And she sees it through. And then we see like a montage of all of Cynthia's businesses, which I'm pretty sure have all disappeared. Right? We see like the modeling agents. We see the Bailey agency. We see like the book bags. We see the eyewear, we see like, I don't know, decorative napkins, the Bailey napkin, I don't know, like it's just like so many things. I'm like, what happened?

Bailey napkins rings. It's the Bailey. Yeah. The Bailey one vines now available at the Bailey seller on the wall. I don't know if any of these businesses are still around. I would Google them, but it's a long recap already. And honestly, I don't care. But I haven't seen Cynthia Bailey I wear because I would buy it.

She loves a big aviator, which is like the only kind of glasses I can wear. Yeah. I just thought it was funny that Candy was acting as if Cynthia is like the next, you know, judge on charge rank. And I'm like, yeah, quite. Damn it. Now I'm like, hmm, yeah, quite. Damn it. Now I'm looking at Cynthia Bailey, I wear,

let's see here, home, Cynthia Bailey, I wear. I do, there is a site for it, coaxinthiabaleyiwear.com, but it doesn't show up under any of the Google shopping, you know, when you Google something, it says shopping. So I, Everyone shows up there.

Yeah, so I guess you can only get it from her website. So anyway, she's paying her host monster. We know that much. Well, that's good. No, little victories, small victories. One thing I can say about Cynthia is she pays her server bills. Oh, wait, no, I got, oh, I found the Cynthia Bailey on, Cynthia Bailey I wear, it's on Google shopping, uh, specifically it's in Walmart. Oh, wow.

Good for her. Look at us. We're shaming someone for being in Walmart like we're tamer Barney. Look, no, she's in Walmart. She's, uh, she has an aroma. Wait a second. This is organic Cynthia Bailey aroma therapy soy scented candles soy scented Oh, she has Yeah, sorry. You have Cynthia Bailey. It's the or it's Cynthia or Cynthia Bailey apparently has soy scented candles with essential oils wow Soy scented mmm sounds delicious has soy-centered candles with essential oils. Wow. Soy-centered.

Soy-centered. Mmm, sounds delicious. Uh, so wait. Oh. Wait, okay, this is really, okay, I'm sorry. I'm down this path here. If you go onto Google Shopping, you can get a Cynthia Bailey

in a red dress cardboard cutout life-size. Yes, please. Oh my god, a life-size Cynthia Bailey. That is only if it's squinting. No, no, she's striking a pose. Because, you know, oh wait, wait, one last thing. Someone on Poshmark is apparently, I guess, reselling their Cynthia Bailey

reading glasses and they put them on a little fern. daily, uh, glad reading glasses and they put them on a little fern. It's like, Cynthia Bailey glasses made for ferns. I'm looking at Cynthia Bailey shopping too. Wow, Walmart, that's really cool, Cynthia. Okay, I take everything back, except that I go to the bottom of the website for I wear and it says we have amazing partnerships. And it has the Bailey Bailey agency at the bottom. so I clicked it and it says error looks like this domain

isn't connected to a website yet so she's paying for a server she's just not you know keeping the businesses open but hey I wear some Walmart who the hell am I to say something no I listen I'm not I'm not gonna shame that that's like a huge deal I mean our shirts are not in Walmart. Rub it in. So, okay. Everyone's arriving. So I said to candles.

Yes, so I said to candles. So we know that this party at Hashtag, Bailey Widensellers smells like soy. Basically, in plastic vines. It smells like tuna and soy. It actually smells delicious at this point. It's now turning into a meal. Oh, so poor chick arrives. Marlow arrives. Marlow's tits are out. They are out. Yeah, she's wearing some weird like ice skating. She's kind of wearing that designer who makes all

the wedding dresses. What's his name? The mom, the, I forget his name, but he makes like the sheer we always tease him because he makes like the sheer wedding cream colored wedding dresses. Oh, yeah, I know that guy. Oh, God. What's his name? He's a Persian dude because he was on she's on Charles of sunset. He did Neenie's thing. Yeah, so it looks kind of like a Nini wedding dress, but anyway, so everybody's kind of talking and joking around and my kill whisper is to Candy, he's like, hey Candy, stick around, okay? Stick around, stick around, Candy, stick around. She's like, oh. Pedram Couture, Pedram Couture. Pedram, yes, Pedram.

Yeah, so yeah, so Candy is like, okay. So Cynthia is like receiving gifts and everything and Nini sends over some fresh sushi to go with the soy. And then on top of that, there's a card that says, I've been a supportive friend and today won't be any different blah, blah, blah. It's just basically saying like, I support other women and I'm getting credit right now

for being a bigger person right now publicly. and congratulations on the opening of your new business. Nini Leaks. Yes. And Marlo makes sure she reads the card out loud. She's like, read it out loud. If you can share the worst, if you can share all the bad, you can share the good too. So do me a favor when you read it. Can you read it really closely to this flower that's on my lapel?

Thank you So Cynthia has to like read it and then she asked her pretend to give a fuck, you know Because she's reading it to a group of people so she's like and tear she's like the fact that Nini put it in a paper She's like the fact that Nini put it in paper Was beyond anything I expected the fact that she's not here because we're fighting over nothing basically Well, it sucks. I'm like okay and turn on Kenya in five four three Yeah, so Cynthia's all choked up and Candice even blotting her And Portia goes, y'all hear crying from a card and some cheese? Yeah. Yep.

So Candy attacks. Ken, yes, she's like hurry up because my kills probably going to propose hurry up and get here. So then more people come in. Ken, yeah, comes in and Pep Dope Inc, which is fitting. Yeah, she's a giant stomach ache. So she's talking to Cynthia and Kambi and she's like, listen, we're all married now. So I wanted to invite a rope, you know, taken. So I wanted to invite you to dinner. Mike is going to be there. Mark is going to be there. Let's do a triple date.

That's what Cynthia shows. I love your Kenya laugh. So Cynthia shows Kenia the card from Nini and she goes, wow, it takes a big person to apologize, but I don't see an apology in there. And Kenia's like, well, she does some things. She has to apologize. She just thinks you'll just let bygones be guy bygones. And Cynthia is already like, well, I think it was from a good place. I know it can be like to throw shade be funny be hilarious But it's not the right place for time for that and then she squints at the camera. Uh-oh here we go

Yeah, and then Cynthia gets back to the the real the real Priority of the night, which is trying to make snake a thing. Child, I still don't know who snake it is. They're like, what? What's that? Snake gate? You know, snake gate. Did a snake come through your gate? No, snake gate. It's, you know, about the secret recording. Oh, you mean recording gate? No, snake gate. Snake gate just keeps saying it over and over snake it snake it snake it snake it. So, um, that close up on Marlowe and Yovada. That's that sound effect.

That's thanks one and two. So Kenya's like, is your mom here? And Cynthia's like, his mom is here. And Kenya's like, oh, so all the family is here? Well, I'm telling you, Cynthia, I have a feeling. I think that Mike might propose. This mom is here. And Candy is like, oh, so all the family is here. Well, I'm telling you Cynthia, I have a feeling. I think that Mike, Mike proposed. My stomach has butterflies, hence the color of my dress.

And Candy is giving her this look like. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A Candy's like Just in case anyone's out there seen frozen to I cannot stop doing I mean my nieces I don't know what that you will one day you're gonna be alone at home This she keeps hearing a voice and it just keeps going. Aaaaah! It's a lot of not just fucking thing ever and everybody out there with kids is probably beating the steering wheel right now. Like, shut up! It sounds like that part of one of my favorite 80s songs by Howard Jones. It's like, you know that song where it's like because if you feel scared

You know Okay I might as well have some song now it's okay. It does it is from a song We'll go over it later. I'll play it for you later and we can try to watch what it is But I'm gonna make every puppy of my car crazy and I've not been able to stop singing that. So anyway, Cynthia's like, well if he was gonna propose he would have invited my mom and she's not here and then we see the mom coming in the friends. Like walking in. It is such a dick move, Kenya to do that. Like so, so dick. And actually when she starts to say like well all of my family is here at candy I if I remember correctly candy is seems to realize what can you trying to do and

Candy tries to move the conversation in a different direction and can you as like can you like no? I am going to burst this balloon. I'm gonna rain on this parade right now So can you as a gross person? I don't know how anybody is friends with Kenya. Yeah, it was so obnoxious And so candy like when Cynthia goes away candy is like furious. She's like, why would you bring that up to her? That is so not cool like and then she tells us she's like, why would you do that? Bitch So Yovanna thank God Yovanna's here to lick some butt for, you know, to lick Neenie's butt. Since Neenie can't be here, a little proxy.

So she comes over and she's like, just wanted to make sure you got Neenie's gift. What a great gesture. Get outta here Yovanna. Okay, you have nothing to do. Like, you have nothing to fucking do on your own. You're pathetic. This is so sad to watch. I know.

She really needs just like, stopping so obvious that you clearly recorded her. Like, very, very obvious. So, um, yeah. So then Candy is just like gritting her teeth with Kenya and Ken is like, should I say something to her? She's like, don't do it. Say, don't say, don't say,

and other, she's like so angry. And then more people start to arrive and Candy is like pacing around outside cause she's just so angry, you know. And then it starts to, we start to, Mike is starting to like get ready and he's getting nervous. We were sort of just seeing like clips around the party. Like Marlowe and Jimmyami and Porsche are talking about Dennis

Yes, and then Marlo. Yeah, Marlo is talking about Dennis and how she's just trying to get Porsche to get over it Just take take hot dog back just take him back. What's a big deal and They're talking to Shamiya and she's like well, we haven't going to therapy and Shamiya is like yeah I think therapy would do good and Marlolowe's like, the main thing is just, Porsche just communicate. Just communicate. He was fucking someone while she was pregnant. Like seriously?

Ask him when he's fucking next time you're pregnant. You know that way you'll know. So wrong. You know who should communicate? Marlowe, when she's running 90 minutes late, for our podcast, How about that? Five years we've never forget. I know. Where's like suddenly, like, what's like been on earth?

We're like, we haven't talked. And now we said it. And now we said it. We didn't talk about Marlow being late to our podcast. We didn't talk about how she was booked to be a guest. But now we said it. Camila grammar. So Cynthia and Mike, they're giving their speech to think everybody for coming. And he's like,

Cynthia Bailey's time everybody. So she's like, I'm not going to say that. And when one is saying something, find out the wall, mouth just kidding mouth don't say anything. Oh, I don't get to say anything because I'm so tiny now. No, Mal, get the same size. I'm trying to make my speech, but apparently people can't hear me because I'm so small. Don't step on me. You're you're human sized. Oh, This is you know, this is gonna laugh for the next five years on this podcast. That's how I'm going to throw them out. I think that's been shrunken by Rick Moranis, but he's normal size. So I'm just a chunking by Rick Moranis, but he's normal size. So, um, does anyone want to fall into a glass of wine by accident?

Is this an ocean or a glass of milk? So Cynthia's like, uh, well, I'm not going to say that. Does anybody else want to say something? No, Cynthia, it's your event. Why would anybody else want to give a speech at your wine event? You fucking weirdo. Why would anyone have anything to say about being in a wine cellar? Like I want to thank my mom, my dad, for being such supportive parents that allowed me to

get to a place in my life where I could take this afternoon off to be in a wine cellar. Yeah. Um, Eva wants to take the mic, but she's like, Ken, yeah, do you have anything to say? And Ken is like, um, no, I'm good. I think that we've come to a silent agreement. And now she knows not to come for me and thus I send for you, baby girl. Yeah.

So even make some stupid toast. And then she's like, I know that's, that's indeed been working on this seller for a long time. So congrats, even though it's above ground, it's not really a seller. So then Mike gets up there to do it. To do it. To do it. He's like, he goes, I would like to propose. And everyone's like, I go, I go, uh, just, uh, just that's a fake arue.

Or is it? I don't know. I don't know. So he's like, sorry, sorry. Okay. Here's the Cynthia's new ventures You know, I have to admit when you said you were opening a wine bar. I said you don't know a thing about wine I mean you drink it, but why the hell would you of all people open a wine bar where you have to actually have knowledge of said Subject to open with any serious.

It's like G's nice toast at the wine bar you dick. Well, when Cynthia said that she was opening up a wine bar, I said, wow, that's going to be three strikes. And your out bottom of the ninth Cynthia loses the game. But guess what? In this series, she went up with game number two, and here she is here to knock at home with a wine seller. No, are these sports analogies lost on this crowd?

Are they wrong crowd? Wrong audience. I put dot, oh, daughter comes up. I was like, who's dot? At first, I saw that and I was like, Dwight, Dwight's here. Um, I am dad. So you're too. I'm dad. You're the useless. I'm sick assistant. I am not in a relation to gene. Okay, that's a lie. Gene and I are actually best friends.

So his daughter comes up. She's like, you're doing get wrong. You have to toast with something like this. It is champagne. Cynthia Bailey champagne. So he's like, what're doing it wrong. You have to toast with something like this. It is champagne, Cynthia Bailey champagne. So he's like, what? You want me to pop this? Oh, M.G. It is a ring. Wow, we, you are the last. Oh, I just got it.

Yes. He's the one me to pop this and the, no, but the bottle had a question mark on it. Pop the question. Wow. See. Wow. Wow.

He's really, yeah, he's really going. Wow. Wow, wow, that's a, that is a top 10 sports center highlight if I ever saw one. Oh, I know you don't know what that is. No, no, I was still laughing. I'm just like that. So he's like, Cynthia, you are my love, my life, my heartbeat,

my emotions, like, you know nothing about wine. I'm so happy. Well, you accept me for my past, my life, my heartbeat, my emotions, like, uh, you know nothing about wine. Well, you accept me for my past, even though you don't know the difference between a Cabernet and a Zinfeldell. You are here for me in my present, uh, present that involves you not understanding the difference between a port and a Bogeylai. the difference between a port and a Bojolet. Okay, so he kneels and then the kids are holding two pieces of a mirror, like the little orphan Annie heart that's broken into but then put back together. Like the parents have one part and she has one part and it says family and gather font.

You know, I love a gather font. It's all over housewives. And their names are like like on one side it S Cynthia and Noel on the other side says Mike and other Kayla and the other daughter and They out the entire time I was just thinking where do they get that heart? Where do they get that do they get that custom made and how much do they spend on it for this like one moment gag? Mm-hmm. I was just thinking well, thank God that mirror comes apart easily I was just thinking, well, thank God that mirror comes apart easily. Just gives it a housewives marriage, you know, you can just take it apart very easily. Both can go to the individual homes.

That's a pre-nut part right there. That's a pre-nut, that's something that Mark would not appreciate. So then everybody, you know, is so happy for her blah, blah, blah. And Mike Hill ends the proposal with, she doesn't have to be thirsty anymore. Ha ha ha ha ha. Like you're kind of an asshole. Okay. Well Cynthia's happy. And she, uh, then it's like the next day she's at Lake Bailey with Mike and they are, um, on day one of a very boring engagement. And then we go over and we see Eva and her children are running around and being kids.

Eva's sitting there holding a roll of paper towels, which is so Eva this season. Yeah, yeah. I really am mad that she's pregnant this season because I felt like I felt like her bitch flower was just like blooming. I don I thought after the reunion, I thought we were, I thought we were like entering a great Eva era. And instead we're having Eva being exhausted and pregnant. It's not what I want. Yeah, I said we get Eva with paper towels. Eva with a paper towel.

Yeah. She probably it's not, it's probably not even select a size. Like come on, Eva. And now the meat of the episode, can you and Mark together in the car? Oh my God. This is kind of great. This is kind of awkward and awful and great. A Tesla fight. What we've always been waiting for. So can you there, they're off to their triple date with like candy and Todd and Cindy and Mike. And Mark just looks so bored and so miserable to even begin this car with his wife.

I mean, the guy really does have just asshole face. He has the face in his head. He just looks like a total asshole. And he's got like a great smile and you know that he's coasted by in life on that smile. Yes, yeah, he's a good looking guy and probably coasted yes. And I've been totally on Kenya Kenya side even though Kenya's a monster

And I can't believe I've been on her side, but this guy just seems like such a prick Well, thank you Kenya for evening out this playing field because God she's such a dick too, but first we start I don't know. Well, we'll get to that. Well, I'm starting it early. I'm starting my Kenya. I hate her together early But at this part she, but at this part She's not at this part. We're just seeing what an asshole this guy is, right? Yeah, so Kenya is like Talking about how How Mike proposed To Cynthia and Marcus like oh wow, was she surprised and she's like well

And like basically it comes out that she ruined the surprise. And Kenyans like insisting that she already knew. And Marco, so you switched. So you snitched. You sold out the guy. That's a big surprise. Kenyans like, well, she knew it was coming. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Sad. So it wasn't a surprise. Changing the subject. Do you know what I do? I summon the car. I can tell the car, come get me. And he goes, uh, you can probably tell to come get me in New York. She's like, well, I mean, it doesn't turn major corners or anything. He's like, Oh, it doesn't turn great. You want a self-driving car that can't turn great car loser. Yeah, that becomes like his thing for the next

five minutes. Oh, really, driving a self-driving car that doesn't turn. I mean, look at this idiot. This idiot that I'm married with a self-driving car that doesn't turn. Am I right, everyone? Am I right, everyone? Hey, everyone, look at this car turning. It's because someone's driving,

because on a song song, it doesn't even turn. Oh, he's such a jerk. Yeah. And then he's just so evil. And she's like, he drives like a sports car, right? And he goes, oh, great. So you've got my child in a car and you're driving fast and yourself driving great and you're probably speeding because you said sports car. And she's like, um, I don't speed.

There's like, you got a speeding ticket the other day. So whatever. Yeah. Oh, did you get the speedy? Did you get the speed ticket? Or was it the self driving car? That can't even turn around the corner. Anyone high five, someone high five. Hot. And he's like breathing hard. He looks like he's, I don't know. It's like something's wrong with this guys. This is not a good, this is not a good guy.

Well, he is not a good guy. He's a real dick. I'm sorry. And so, candy, so now everyone's like arriving at the, at this restaurant and Todd's being all nice to Candy because he's like realizing that he might be running out of money from her. So he's like, wow, you look so beautiful tonight. Your makeup is just amazing. And I love it when you do it yourself because that's one of your other pretty. You're pretty. Also, you spend less money so that I can

spend more. Wow, look at us in White Jeans and look for both were twins. Wow, we're twins. It was cute because he was wearing his outfit first and Candy was like might be fun to match Todd and now he's annoyed but I think it's so cute that Candy wanted to match him. So this is what I love a couple that shows up in matching outfits. Well, no, it would have been more disgusting if like they both chose to match, but I like that she just kind of wandered a nag. I'm in that way. And it was sort of like an affectionate thing.

Yeah. So Todd's like, hey, so Michael, now that it's official, did you pull out your phone and start hitting up your exes and being like, sorry. And since he's like, well, someone got a lot of compressed texts from their exes. I did not hear from mine. So that was fun. I think that Peter and Will are both still trying to repaid their bill from cricket wireless. Peter and Will send a text. Yeah, they both are, they're on a family plan together. The bar one plan. So Cynthia's like, yeah, I feel totally different today. I mean, I even felt different in the bed.

Oh, okay. So she's like, you know what was weird? The candy came in and she said, have a feeling he's gonna propose. I mean, that's just crazy. And candy's like, ugh. So before they can really commiserate over this, candy comes in. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha come say. So they swap around the seats for the women's that way they're not

sitting across from their husbands. Whoa! And they're talking about Cynthia now having to plan her wedding and Kenya's like, I've already picked out the perfect venue. And so they're like, wow, yeah, you know, it's not your wedding. You know, yes. So Mark is like, so Mike, how was the proposal? Were you nervous? And Mike's like, well, I was nervous. You know, I was, it was really hard trying to not tell

or what was happening at all. But I guess that worked out. Yeah, I'm so glad the surprise wasn't ruined by anyone. Anyone specifically at this table, that's really nice. Glad that didn't happen. Yeah. So Kenny is like, well, why shouldn't I plan the wedding? I'm good at sticking to a budget. Ask Mark. Mark's like, yeah, right? I'm not saying a word on that one. Loser. Yeah. Yeah. So good to stay into a budget that she bought a car that can't even drive on its own without a kerning curves. Well, I was just saying how it was so romantic because Michael

got on his knees and that was so thought out. How did you propose Mark? Go ahead and tell him. Yeah, because she said she wants to do over a proposal. And so basically the story is that like, I guess she was in New York and he was up late working or something like that. She came back to the apartment and I guess he wasn't ready for her and she surprised him by showing up at the apartment and he ran into the other room, got the ring and showed it to her and said, look who's official now. And she woke him up by the way.

He's like, well, she knew I was working and she woke me up So I had to run inside for the ring He's so romantic Yeah, he didn't even get on his knee or say would you be my wife? He just said look who's official now Yeah, and Ken is like yeah, what did you say so he tells us and then Ken he's like oh, so he didn't even ask you He just told you and he's like well just ask about the wedding, how romantic I was at this wedding. And she's like, Oh, best day of my life. Well, second to winning Miss USA.

And candy says, I think what we all were thinking, which is, I'm pretty shocked that Brooklyn didn't make it into the Kenya's top two days of her life. Wow. Wow. Third place, third place finished for Brooklyn. We have to only assume so he she's just poking poking poking and Yeah, he's a man. Which by the way, well because this is because here's the thing This is the way Kenya operates mark was like coming for her for the This self-driving car that can't turn turn corners So her way of getting back is to lead him down in nice passive aggressive confrontation

about their wedding. Yes. So she just keeps going, going, going, going. And granted, like he's an asshole too. I'm not saying her being an asshole makes him less of an asshole, but God, she's an asshole. It's like, why would you have all of your friends together just to make your mad look stupid?

You know, like, what's the fucking point? Like going after somebody. So they're just both terrible. And they're basically that couple who invite you out so they can fight in front of you. And then yeah, it gets real awkward. I mean, it gets real. Oh, they're terrible. So she's like, so what about this? I mean, I don't know if you guys did pre-marital counseling. And since he's like, well, I mean, we've both been divorced. So I don't know that that would be the worst idea. And Keny was like, and a prenup. Yeah. She says that knowing that she's fully going to call out Mark Rath, a prenup situation, in like just like a minute from that. So she's like to a listener in the conversation,

which is it's obnoxious, but I thought it was hilarious because it was, you know, I love watching Pacific Russian on TV. It's like my favorite thing. So candy starts talking about why she got a prenup. She's like look You know, I view it as mayor as like insurance for the marriage, okay? You never want to use it But things happen in life and so you just have it there And so it's not an issue of romance whatever. I look at as insurance for the mayor She has like actually a really really great response and take on it. And then Kenya immediately goes, Mark didn't want to pren up, so we don't have one.

Yeah, no pren up. And he's like, well, we didn't even talk about a pren up. I mean, you really have some revisionist history there, she's like, aha, we talked about it. And you said you didn't want mine. And he's like, oh, okay. So we didn't talk about it because of me. I mean, listen, this is how I work.

You even bring up a pren up and we're done, okay? It's over. I didn't understand his logic in this. He's like, oh, well, we didn't have a discussion about it, but if you did bring it up, our relationship would be over. I'm like, yeah, that's probably why you didn't have a discussion about it, you dickwad. Well, because she's saying they had a discussion,

he said he didn't want one and he's saying, no, we never even discussed it. But if we had, I would have dumped you. Right, but that's. But she's saying that we didn't have a discussion. No, she's saying they did have a discussion. He didn't want a pre-knock. And he's saying, no, we didn't discuss that. And if we had, if we had discussed it, we wouldn't even be in the situation because I wouldn't buried you in the first place. Because if you, if you want to be with me, you're either all the way with me or you're not with me at all. And she's like, well, I started my, I started off in the industry. I was a corporate wait since I was 17 and I'm a self-made person.

Now if you helped me build something and he's like, I did help you build Kenya more. It was a fucking mess and I fixed it and I look at you. Now you're doing great. Yeah. Um, and then they're like, so Ken, he's like, well, let me ask you this. Would you give Ken a half of Soca or whatever the name of his restaurant is? And he goes, you know what I told her? I said, you can have it. I'll build another one. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're on camera, you're on camera. Yeah, he's like, I'll take everything from scratch to do it again. I just wanted to add here when he says he fixed Kenya more hair car it was a mess and now it's doing really well, which now it is doing really

well. I don't know how much you did for it. But Kenya's like, oh, he's a dirty player. He's the type to grab dirt off the ground and throw it in your face. I was like, well, did he help you or didn't he? You know, because he's laughing like way too hard. Well, I think that, I think the reason why she said, dirty players, because I think that was his way of getting it on the record, that he like helped build Kenia more here.

Well, so you can play this game. You met your match this time, I say. Who are you saying that to? Kenia? Kenia. To Kenia. Because she, you know, she's trying to do this to him and get all this stuff on camera. And he's like, okay, well, let's get it on camera that I totally helped you build that business.

Exactly. So Candy's asking Mark where, you know, how like now that there are two years into the relationship, what does Mark see in Kenya, what's his take or whatever. And he's like, well, we're different, you know, you know, Kenya likes a little flash and she's like, when you say a little flash though, he goes, let me finish. You're jumping in, you gotta respect the conversation. I'm like, and then he starts saying, I don't wanna be Mr. Flashy, the flash is not real. I'm like, I will not take that away from you because not everyone needs to like flash,

but I hate to break it to you, sir. Your wife has been on TV for like several years. And if you don't like Flash, why did you marry a real housewife of Atlanta? And a beauty point. And a beauty with a fucking phone. She's like, well, I don't think it's Flash. I'm a self-made person.

And I'm proud of that. You know, remember that conversation we had about me driving a Bentley before we were married? And he's like, yeah, I said, let's take care of the house before we get the Bentley and she's like well my house is paid for it So why shouldn't I get it Bentley? Because you're talking about having a child and getting married to some like what the hell like you are not built for this I don't even know that she was ever I don't I don't know I don't know if I don't know if I take I don't know I should say I don't I don't know if I take Mark's side on't know if I take I don't know I should say I don't I don't know if I take Mark's

I don't this because I I kind of feel like what we're seeing in this in this conversation and in the Tesla was he is actually Kind of the way she's been describing him like there's been like a little bit of skepticism about you know Well, this is well as Kenya. You never know. She's always doing an angle to make herself look good But he has been kind of a dick and condescending and I don't know. I think that if she did want to get it Bentley, she's allowed to get it Bentley. I think I Allow to it's just that you're in a marriage like if you're in a marriage with somebody. I don't know. It just it works I'm not sure I'm not sure From watching them. I'm not sure if it would go the other way around.

I'm not sure if she would be able to tell him not to get it Bentley. Well, I don't think it's that you can tell somebody to do what they're gonna do. It's just I'm not on anybody's side. I'm just saying she's obviously coming from Mark publicly and for her to be like, why would I even have to discuss it with you?

Why do you have to have this discussion in public? Like it's just the whole thing is bizarre to me. Well, here's the thing is that he is, I feel like he really shows his hand at this next part because he starts saying that he likes people who are real. Like as opposed to people who are flashy, he likes people who are real, including Nini who is cool when he met her and then he goes She showed me the ultimate respect. She said hi Mark Let me introduce you to my husband and I found that to be the ultimate respect

Ultimate respect. Wow, so like basic manners. Yeah, basic common courtesy. What? and also like knowing that Ne Nini is like, like, like, he and his wife, oh I'm sorry, that his wife and Nini are totally at odds and that Nini is so obnoxious to Kenya. And then that he would like, like, just like, go out of his way to talk about how great Nini is. I mean, I mean, like in an ideal world, he would have his wife's back, right?

But even if you have a situation where it's like, look, I'm my own man, I can think what I wanna think. I feel like out of respect for if I were in Mark Shoes out of respect for my wife, I might think, okay, you know what, I don't think Nini is that bad. I think this is between my wife and Nini. But I wouldn't be like, well, Nini is actually great and she showed me the ultimate respect.

That to me is the ultimate disrespect to his own wife. Yes, of course. Yeah, he's coming back and like go and get her now. It's like she got one on him that he's going to go back on her. And I don't know who brought up Neenie, but they cut out whatever part, or maybe it just came up right now, but it seems so weird to pivot, like straight into Neenie. Seems like such an odd turn. But yeah, maybe, you know, maybe he is just like, fuck you then, Nini.

I like Nini. And so she's like, well, that may remind you Mark when Nini said, whether she pregnant with a buffalo, you got extremely upset because that was your unborn child. She was talking about. Yeah. I can't even remember what I told you to be upset. So then by the way, he also was like, no,enie's nice to me. So I'm not gonna dog her I'm like, but you will dog your own wife like do you understand how ridiculous that sounds?

So then he's like well, you know, yeah, I was upset when Neenie called you I said you were gonna have to get birth to a buffalo, but she tried to apologize and she texted you and you didn't text her back She's like no, she didn't. And he's like, but you said she didn't. She goes, no, she did not. And I would like to remind you, you were highly offended and so was I. Yeah, it's like, oh my good. Yeah. And so Mark is like, it's about respect and how people treat you. And then Candy is just like sitting there like, why are you doing this to your wife? Like, you see her face, you see how upset she is.

This is public. Like, why are you doing this to her? Yeah. And yeah, Candy is mortified. And Hill jumps in. He's like, well, you know, I will say, Mimi's always been kind to me, but if it affects my girl, it affects me. You know, for example, Cynthia doesn't know anything about wine.

And so I don't know anything. I'm just kidding. It doesn't work in every aspect. Actually, I know a lot about wine. What were we talking about? So then, so now Kenya is going to give a toast. And she's like, she stands up to give her toast, which is very extra. You're an restaurant, just like you can toast from your seat.

It's okay. You're not at a party. And she like I just want to go ahead go ahead good job good job go ahead good job good job good job yes deep in my I just want to congratulate this beautiful couple for just being you and a toast to candy for being that writer die friend friend. Wow, writer, die. What a concept. Hopefully, all you men are writer, die too. And by man, I mean mainly these two men and by these two men. Just really mark in that corner. Hope that writer dies your wife who's standing right here.

Yeah, she's basically like, congratulations to the two couples who are doing it right. And to mark who's doing it incorrectly, and Tomark, who is doing it incorrectly, but hopefully he learns from this very passive aggressive speech on gaming. Yeah, and then she adds in, and she goes, hopefully you're doing the writer-diving yourselves, gentlemen, as the women wear the crowns. Yeah, oh god.

The Cynthia's like, I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad. Mm. Well, I wonder it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad. Hmm. Yep. Well, I wonder if we're going to see if the separation of the divorce, if that happens during the season. I'm sure it will, because Kenya would not save that for off camera. No, that is totally Kenya on camera.

And I'll watch what happens. I have Andy asked how it's going. And she's like, well, it's cordial.ial we're speaking so I guess they separated so far okay well um that's it for speaking of cordial it's time to make a cordial goodbye for the episode um we hope you guys all have a happy Hanukkah today because it is Hanukkah and we'll be back tomorrow with some below deck and then on Wednesday on Christmas, we are going to have some, are we doing marriage of medicine on Christmas?

I forget what we said. Marriage of medicine or? I don't know, just go check it out. I think so. Works for me. Check it out. Check it out everything. Later this week, we have marriage of medicine,

Orange County reunions, it'll be super, super fun. Below deck, also we're doing a bonus that is full of your mailbag question. Well, that's what you're looking for a mailbag. That'll be for next week because this week we have to have top chef. Yeah, there's still a lot, okay? Maybe holidays. We're still just chugging along over here.

We're barely organized over here, but now you know that what's coming on the horizon on some day at some time. Yeah, just know we're never shutting the hell up. No, never. Okay. Bye, everybody. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today. Or you can listen to ad free with one Dree Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at

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