Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Atlanta Returns!

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

The Real Housewives of Atlanta returns and in the height of 2020's turmoil. Porsha is a hero, Marlo is aiming thermometers at everyone, and Cynthia's boob is out. A lot. This week's bonus is a catch up on our personal lives. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are really sorry. Okay, this one happens, but there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Carapins! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. On Hill Proves, it's me Ronnie, and that's been over there, hubby-in.

Hey, what's up? How are you? I'm doing just swell today. Thanks, how are you? I'm okay, I'm a little extra smoky today in my voice. It sounds like I've got another voice behind my voice because I got to do faith flavor. Okay. It's like frying my throat in a very different way. But you want to tell you, okay? I'm like three different kinds of fruity petals. Okay. Wow. It sounds disgusting. It is disgusting. So what do you lack in your lungs with, Ben? Shalak in my lungs with just like lots of sugar,

just inhaling sugar, I have a pie, I have pie, I've got ice cream, I've got cake here in the house. It's just like, I don't know, I'm out of control. I can't stop myself. Cause it's COVID, it's COVID, the bugger. Okay, I got rid of all the sugar in my house, even the table sugar, like even cooking sugar, because I was getting so ridiculous with my COVID-ass.

And so I got rid of all of it, and now I'm just eating like bags of tortilla chips. So now I'll probably get fat and chip of tooth. So thanks a lot, Corona. Yeah, it's everywhere. And I know I had my birthday last week, so I made myself a cake. So I got, so it's like, the sugar is just really on, it's everywhere. And I know I had my birthday last week, so I made myself a cake. So I got so it's like the sugar is just really on. It's like everywhere. It is everywhere

for me. Well, it's a good day to be talking about corona ass because we are on real housewives of Atlanta today, which is about corona ass, okay? Yeah. So we're all feeling it right now. It's amazing watching these COVID shows on Bravo that are starting to take play, you know, it's taking place back when COVID became like a huge thing and everyone started to have to stay at home and everyone's complaining about the weight game after a month one. I'm like, just wait. Just you wait, don't to book. Yeah, exactly. Well, actually what's interesting about Atlanta is that they finished their season during COVID. They did their reunion in May or so. Late May, I believe.

I don't remember what it was, but they did. I think it was in May. And then they started filming the new season. It looked like it was that was happening in early June. So they, I think, are the first ones that we've had so far that have actually finished a season in coronavirus and have started a new one. Yeah, probably.

That doesn't care. That's a big impact. Yeah. Propels like you're shooting, OK? We might be doing it in your driveway, but you can still fight about something. Just find something. Yeah, exactly.

And because it does start in June, a June was a very intense month, at least here in the US, and it actually seems like it was around the world too, because in the wake of George Floyd, we obviously had a large amount of protests and discussion about Black Lives Matter, et cetera, and that's when this show comes back into production.

So the series begins with a lot of discussion about that. And so we have the women weighing in. And it's very serious, appropriately so, of course. And Kenya is talking to us about how the world has completely changed and they can't travel, they can't socialize the way they're used to socializing, they can't do anything, except film real housewives of Atlanta. And it's almost like they're imprisoned in their own homes.

And so she got really depressed. Yeah, and it's interesting watching housewives because of course the people that are most making it about themselves are who you would think it. It is. It's like Kenya and then Shannon on Orange County is also very like not on the only one, but it's like, okay, we've all we're all dealing with it. But of course, she's also got to deal with the divorcing and Mark and all that. All that. Yes. And getting rid of her, apparently

she gave her car with the doors that go up to the sides. To Mark, was that a Tesla? I don't know what that is. She gave it to Mark. Yes, she says in this episode, she bought a car and gave it to him. Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

And I think they're still together. I'm not sure. I think I just saw a picture of them all together. But who knows what the timestamp was on that? Yeah, I don't know. Cynthia shows up and she's for her interview. Because it's very much like breaking the fourth wall Like we see the producer we see the camera rigs and everything like and Cynthia's like, oh, this is my first my first interview since since COVID

She's like, well, it's been very challenging for a moment It felt like the world stopped my family and I were quarantined in Los Angeles and we were afraid to go outside But then when the George Floyd protests happened they found we're like we have to go outside, but then when the George Floyd protests happen, they follow me like, we have to go outside. They went out and they protested. Yeah. And they asked can be the same thing to start off. And she's, you know, she starts talking about Black Lives Matter and the George Floyd thing and how, you know, it's time to stand up and fight for the injustice against African Americans. And then she starts crying. And she's like, great

fucking question, you guys like, wait a crying and she's like, great fucking question you guys. Like, wait a second. She's like, thanks for being me cry at the start of the season. Yeah, she's like, wait a second. Started off guys. Yeah, and then they talked to Portia who really has like, sort of gone in touch with her, like, like, sort of her, I don't know what the word is. Her inner protester or inner professor, family lineage, family heritage. Like like sort of her her I don't know what the word is her in her protestor in her

In her family family lineage family heritage her DNA. She's gotten really into the DNA Yeah, exactly. I'm not trying to say it in like a in like a joky way and She just says that she just was like so furious about everything like Brianna Taylor and everything and George Floyd and She just so offended at the blatant racism that was happening to her people. So she just felt like she just had to yell it from the rooftop, you know, no justice, no peace. Yeah, and then we see her going to protests and getting gassed. And, you know, she's describing like being at the protest

and everybody's innocent, you know, peacefully protesting and then boom, boom, boom, gas pellets are shooting and they're all running. It's like Jesus Christ my God this world. So in another, in another words we're like wow this is a great, we're gonna have so many jokes, we have so many jokes about this opening. It's gonna be just like just a barrel of laughs for us. Well yeah well what are you gonna do? But they had to address it.

The other serious things that were happening in the world. Yeah, I'll be a canyon. I'll be like you know what COVID did to me? It gave me a jokeless real house was of adventure recap. How dare you Corona, how dare you? So now we're June 1st, we're in Atlanta. Yeah, Portia is a protest and everything.

She's talking about like, you know, Bullock's flying by her and she and Dennis had to go out for running. She had shitting her eyes and everything. She's talking about like, you know, bullets flying by her and she and Dennis had to go out for running. She had shitting her eyes and stuff. And, you know, they're, and how basically she's showing how like they're just peacefully protesting and like the, you know, like how this is a very aggressive response

to these peaceful protests just rolls in. And we see it happening through her eyes. Yes, and then we go to the opening, the peaches. So we start over at Cynthia's house, and Cynthia's in her favorite place of all time, the kitchen. Cynthia's just making use of those kitchen counters like never before. Yes. She's putting it together a little meal, and then she has a table in her driveway. So she brings it up the driveway and candy shows up and she's like

Look at you you're looking really sexy right now because Cynthia basically just has her tits out She just like she's like you know what I'm not the only one out of quarantine so are these boobies Yeah, she's basically wearing a robe that's open and kind of taped at one part. And so her boobs are coming all out. And the song that's playing when when Candy drives up is they don't like me very much. I don't care. I don't care. They don't like me. I don't care. And I was like, wow, Candy is already out of her house. She was really different. And it's candy. Where are you playing that song for Candy? They don't like you very much. Everyone likes candy. Are there no scenes where Kenyles driving up?

Okay, save it. Literally a song called candy everybody wants by the 10,000 B&A X, okay? So Cynthia is talking about how she was in LA for four months. She was just like stuck and that she's like, Mike and I were tested during quarantine and I'm normally thirsty for Mike But I'm thirsty for you now, Candy. I'm like Cynthia, please stop trying to sell Mike on us like

We get China works and Mike we get the ear penis works I would like to congratulate you both on that But at this point you look like just old people on an an infomercial like we are we're having sex again Look at us. We're doing it like the old man really sad But then he's smiling real big because he took that, you know, that vitamin pill, you can only get it when in the morning on TV. They're both like sitting in a separate bathtub holding hands like a Seattle's commercial. It's like, okay, we get it.

Thanks, oops, I cracked my pants. So they're talking about like COVID tests and everything and everything and You know just like comparing throat test versus nose test. I still haven't had a COVID test yet Thankfully knock on wood. I haven't had any need to but I feel like the longer I go without a COVID test The scarier it's gonna be if that makes sense. Yeah, I can't imagine you getting a COVID test. You'll be you'll be crying Well, I'll have you face timing so I can hold your hold your hand over the phone. Have you had one? You haven't had one, right? No, I haven't left. I have no reason. Yeah. I have no reason because I haven't had to leave for anything. Yeah. My COVID test is called a scale and it's broken out. I threw it away. So my COVID test is called my appetite.

As long as I'm hungry, I feel like I don't have COVID. Yeah, or as long as you can smell things. As long as I can smell the amount of days that I haven't taken a shower, then I know that I don't have it. Yeah. So then they're talking about like candy sex life, which has just been steady. And then Cindy is, that's when Sidney is boob, just falls right on out. And she's like,

Tiddy sent, Tiddy sent. I'm like, wow, you're really gonna, like it was bad enough that you really pushed, you know, 50, 50 synth, and then 51 synth on us. But now you're gonna do Tiddy sent. I mean, like, it's time to go on to a new pun brand. Yeah, she's just gonna give that thing a party in like the dinosaur museum.

Yeah. They're gonna serve food as proof. So Candy is talking about how she's stuck with the kids, but you know, she's at least spending time with her family because the big thing with Candy has always been, Babe, you work too much. You're never home. You never even see the kids.

I do everything. So this is like COVID karma for Candy. She's got right. She's got to be there and actually spend time with the family, which is horrifying. So sorry, Candy. Yeah, that's a lot of family time. So then So this is in the asset that she gained 20 pounds in LA like join the club and And then Marlow comes over and she of course has one of those like guards, those like shields, which actually apparently don't really do that much because it's still pretty open. Yeah, about the check cashing place mask. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So she comes in and she's of course being, you know, ridiculous. She's like, to, well, I guess it's sort of not ridiculous, but still kind of, still extra in a very extra time.

We like taking temperatures and, you know, measuring out like the distance, like six feet between chairs and things like that. I was like, she is ridiculous, and I aspire to be as ridiculous as her, because you know I wanna bring my little measuring tapes every outdoor place I could choose. I know you were on Amazon looking for one

of those little temperature gauges that you, it's like a temperature gap. Oh, I already have one. You do? I knew it. I knew that. Well, well, no, no. That is so been.

If Ben was around me for Christmas, that would be in his stocking. Well, no, well, here's the thing though. It's not as crazy. It was like over this, over the summer, I had like a really bad allergy attack. And I was like, I probably should have a thermometer because like if I did get COVID, like, you know, they always say, well, if your temperature is at this point, oh, you know,

it was, I tried to get a, I tried to get a COVID test over the summer except these like, I was like, I had like a sore throat or something like that. And then it was like, you can't get a coat of a test unless your temperature was something. So I was like, well, I don't even have a thermometer. So then I went to look and get a thermometer. And I was like, oh, let's, I'm going to get one of these cool ones that you can just aim at your forehead. So there was like a reason behind it. There was a reason. Well, if you hadn't bought one then,

you would have last night watching this show. Yeah, I would have. That's for sure. So she comes in shooting her little gun. And she's like, oh, it's amazing. I live for the all beyonds. I live for you, mannequin. This mannequin's wearing sequins. I gotta take your temperature first, Miss Bailey.

So she's like shooting everyone in the head with this little gun in her check, cashing store mask. And they're all at 97.3. So everything's fine. Right, which is what, by the way, that's exactly what the thermometer almost always shows. I don't think I've ever had anything other than 97.3 on that thing. You're basic. Sorry.

You've got a basic temperature. So now they're like, again, like Cynthia's boobs fall out about five more times, and they're talking about their different boobs shapes, et cetera. And then Marlo, they're talking about Portia and Marlo apparently texted Portia and said, I'm proud of you, Portia Luther King, but please be careful.

And then they're all talking about how, like they're just so proud of Portia and how far she's come, which of course, you know, the users are only too happy. Undergrads. I'm Rarararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar every cast member talk about how proud we are of Porsche and then we cut to Porsche like, but where is the entrance for the for the real world that's underground? Oh, bless her. So, um, have they talked to Kenya and Cynthia's like, well, I've tried to see her, but it's it's always her thing. I don't, I don't want to say she sounds

depressed, but she sounds very down. Yes. Why is depressed about where she's depressed? Okay. Who's not depressed? Yeah, she's literally going through a divorce during your pandemic. So they say that they haven't really seen much of her. They try to FaceTime her and can you say, hello?

And they're like, hey, beautiful. And then she's like, poor connection. She like, fake support connection hangs up. Like, Kenya, we can't hear you. We can't hear you. And Marlow's like, are you on Metro? What? So then, then we go over to Kenya and she's going to the lawyer.

Like, I feel like it's not a real house when I was in Atlanta episode if Kenya doesn't go visit a lawyer. In a new car. In a new car. In a new car. So she's now- He's got to be Kenya and a new car going to a new lawyer. Yeah, so she's bundled up in this thing.

She's telling us how she basically can't zip up her dresses because she's like 30 pounds. And so she's in this thing which has this top that has this little kind of like, it looks like it's a pussy bow, but it's not. It's like this weird little like embellishment on the top that I just could not stop staring at. Yeah, it was like a baby present, bow, you know, like with wire to shape it. It was a weird bow.

And she was saying how she couldn't zip up her dress so like her hair was covering the back of her dress. And I thought, it's time for a wig. It's like, it's definitely, definitely time. A full on cousin, it wig, you time, a full on cousin at wig. You know, it goes down to my feet. Yeah. Yeah.

So she is talking to her boy on the phone, and she's like, oh, you know, I'm on the way to the lawyer because Mark just, I went to New York to see Mark, and he just didn't greet her. You know, he just went straight to Brooklyn, so she still got like the jealousy with the Brooklyn. And, you know, he just has straight to Brooklyn. So she still got like the jealousy with Brooklyn. And, you know, he just has to work. And I'm like, wow, Mark hates you.

I'm shocked. Get out of there. Get out. I know why he's, yeah, exactly. And she's like, you know, I've been a wife who's tried everything to be respectful, to be kind, and to feel like the, to feel like the, the last six months, like my marriage has just gone downhill.

I'm like, yeah, divorce him. He's awful. We saw him on TV. He's terrible. Yeah, sperm donor. You got it. Now get rid of him. Yeah. And so she's like, I'm just sick of being sad. And Brandon's like, yeah, we're sick of seeing you sad. And I was like, and so says America. So she misses the exit and she's like, oh my God, I was supposed to turn, and now it's telling me to turn around. Like the map is being made to me, the map just ignored me.

The map probably told Brooklyn instructions on how to get off this freeway. Yeah. So then Kenia arrives at the lawyer's office and she's talking about how like COVID has really adversely affected Mark's businesses and that like, you know, she is the first person to take the parent of what's happening to him and that he's always insulting her and that she always has to walk around on eggshells around him and she's

just not that person. She goes, I mean, I'm a great communicator and I guess her saying, basically your daughter's a hoe, hey, let's talk about you. The fact is you're a real cut fitness just like last year and everyone. Right communicator. Yeah. Oh, and she's dressed in her, hold on. I have to click something up on the internet. Betray's mark. Antony. Does Clea to Patrick Betray? Yeah. Does she get rid of Mark Anthony? She does, right? Doesn't she betray him? Oh, I don't remember.

Damn it, I hope she did, because she's dressed like Clea Patrick, and I'm like, Betray him! Betray him! So she's telling her lawyer, Mr. Weenis, attorney Weemis, or Weems, sorry, Weems. She's telling him, oh, it took a village for me to get here. You know, it's not just traffic

It's things at home. I have a new nanny and the kids always crying around the new nanny Like housewives complaining about COVID with their nannies and their Yeah, I mean this scene is basically like every other scene Porsche I'm sorry Kenya's had with a lawyer. It's like she goes in she says that there's no pre-nup The lawyer is like there's no pre-nub, oh, but then what about the child custody? Who's going to do this, who's going to have the child, and et cetera, et cetera. And it's like the same, it's the same stuff. And the lawyer's like, what's Mark's relationship with his other two kids? And she's like, that's a loaded question. I'd rather not answer it, which

is her way of, it's her subtle way of doing like the Eagle Shade, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then she tells him that she's like, I just wanna go over my options before I actually file because I really don't want there to be an issue with assets. Which is why you get a prenup. Which is exactly. And she tells him that she purchased a car

and she gave that to him. and she paid for her home in cash So she doesn't want that to come into play and I don't know what the divorce laws are like in Georgia But you're lucky you didn't get married in California or I think Texas, too Isn't Texas I think Texas is like an equal state to read just the other person gets half Yeah, I don't know yeah every time I can invitation invitation go to a wedding in LA. I just RSVP Don't do it Just send in a prenup for them to sign Yeah, so so then they like wrap up the scene but the camera the audio still going and

And this they keep talking and the lawyers like um you literally beat yourself up because this dude and like I know how like black women especially black women celebrities Will give anything away for your career and everything and then you go say hey, let me have his family But his failure is not your failure his failure is not your failure and she's like got it So I should get back together with him. It's like no, can you know you're right? I should get on a plane to go to New York right now So then more Porsche iPhone footage at another protest. And she's talking about how she's in Kentucky with Dennis and they're going to meet other protestors for Breonna Taylor.

And she talks about that case and stuff. And then at the end of this segment, she ends up getting arrested, right? Well, I mean, oh no, she ends up getting arrested, right? Well, I mean, she makes a video saying, listen, everybody, I would never harm myself for take my life. And if I'm arrested, it's because I sacrificed myself for the cause. And yeah. And I like that she's protesting and she's out on the street, but she's also wearing a Louis Vuitton face mask. She's like, I'm still a celebrity. Just so you guys all know.

Yeah. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapance commercial. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Up. Shooo! Okay, so then we go over to another scene that we really need. Candy and Todd washing their car. We'll Todd washing the car. Yeah, exactly.

So they're washing the car and Riley's out there. Riley is, you know, is, is supposed to go to NYU in the fall. So she's gearing up for that and, you know, Todd's asking Riley if he's intimidated, but if she's intimidated by going to NYU. And he's like, just so you know, I'm gonna have eyes on you. Kayla's gonna be there. I'm like, oh great, I'm sure Kayla's gonna be real like like watch out for Kayla in New York City. Yeah, you're doing something. Stop that. Yeah, I'm telling I'm telling So yeah, she's talking about how NYU probably won't have classes due to COVID, but she's getting the hell out of there anyway

Because she doesn't want to be around her family anymore. She's like, see ya. And Candy, then we start talking about her father, because Candy tells her she's on a limited budget now, because her school is so expensive. And Riley's like, yeah, but I feel like my father never did anything. So it's time for him to provide. And Candy's like, yeah, but you're the one who said Did she say I should get him to pay the back child support or I shouldn't

Uh, it was something. I don't know. There's all I know is that block was a hundred thousand dollars And then when Candy asked for it, he told her like you're acting like a broke bitch and then she was like But like But you're the one who's acting like the broke bitch because you're not giving your child support and so she's getting frustrated with that and then Candy's base, base, base, he's saying, and on top of that by the way, he's also dropping around in Bentley's and so she's like Tells Riley like, okay, so if your dad does pay the back support Would you be open to having a relationship with him?

So we're sort of back to this thing where Candy is trying to get Riley to be open to having a relationship with her father. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I have a family around me. So like I've moved past the point that he's even necessary, except for the money. So I'm going to wait to get that money, which good for her. And Todd's like, well, you know, it's been a long time and she's only gonna get confused

based on his actions, you know? Like me and Kayla, when we were going through our thing, you know, people would tell me, whoa, I wouldn't even bother getting back into that. Like, here's what I think we should do. Rather than worry about block giving you money, Riley, and then worrying about how you have to have a relationship with him, how about he gives me the money, and then I'm going to invest it in a new restaurant concept called Close Face Dining. It's a really

small restaurant where everyone has to eat on top of each other, and I think it'll just do wonderfully right now. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Hot your concepts. Old lady tacos. Let's see it now. Let's see it now. So then we go back to Portia marching

and there's helicopters following the march and that's pretty much that. Yeah, and then we go there. Yeah, helicopters. They keep showing that helicopter. Yeah, the helicopters following them. They keep showing that helicopter. Yeah, the helicopter is following them. And then Cynthia and Kenya. So Cynthia goes over to Kenya's house with Candy and Kenya basically walks him into a mud pit in her back. Yeah, because she's decided, fuck Mark, you didn't want a pool.

So she's going to build a pool and she's going to build a special playground for her, her little baby, which is like three stories up from the pool. So I know, I was like, I was like, you, baby wanna aim the slide in a different direction. I was like, this doesn't feel like it's smart. So like, and then I did something for my baby, five blocks away.

I decided to finally do something for myself, spend thousands and thousands of dollars on a pool that I probably won't use that often. Yeah, the fuck you, Mark, pool. And you, by the way, did we mention on the podcast, I know it was online that Toya and Ujian's Dreamhouse is up for sale. My God, I did see that.

What do you think's going on? Do you think they're in money trouble again? No, they learned their lessons. Toya learned her lessons if there's anyone who's capable of learning things as Toya Now what a what a neighborhood doubt without sidewalks What I should have did was check to see if the house Had a foundation now that didn't sidewalks are out uh... so she probably got sick of walking up and down that guy down closet who wants to go up and down in a closet nobody seriously especially carrying a drink

because then you leave your drink down there and then you're like oh damn i left champagne down there now there's fruit flies all over the place yeah disaster okay so then uh... basically they're like, wow, a pool. Great. Spending money on a pool in COVID. Smart idea. Great.

So then they're talking about swimming because they really have nothing else to talk about. And Candy is like, I can doggy paddle. And Cynthia is like, oh, so you can doggy style and doggy paddle. And then Candy does one of her laughs her And then they go inside and chat and Candy, you know, they're talking about how nice Candy's house is and how clean it is and Candy's like, man, my house is gone to shit, okay? Because Miss Peggy hasn't been able to come and she's like the other day

I caught myself folding clothes and it took me five hours and I still wasn't finished. Okay. So now I have to do one loaded day and mop the floor every day. How many, how many sweatshirts does Todd wear? Why did it take five hours to do all that laundry? That's crazy. I'm gonna fold all that laundry.

Okay, Todd, her, you know that her mom probably just drops off laundry at her door. That's true, too. Right away. She probably drops off off laundry. It hurt her. I think you. Right. So probably drops off both the aunties laundry there. The babies kids have a lot of laundry. I, um, Kenya was like, well, I just wake up to launch. Are you the first thing you do is you wake up.

You put a load of laundry in and mop the floor. And I was sort of like inspired by that. I was like, I kind of want to have that discipline. I want to wake up and mop a floor. I got, I, I, I, and then of course today, you know. I was like, I kind of want to have that discipline. I want to wake up in Mopaflora. I then of course today, you know what I did. I woke up and did not mopaflora, or even come close to it. I did, I kept really clean at the beginning of it.

I was like, wow, good habits. I'm gonna go walking every day and clean my kitchen. And by I think the second week, I was like, fuck you kitchen. Like who cares? I'm just gonna go for anyway. It's like I'm stuck in here alone. I'll be in a tortilla wrapper prison.

I'm fine with it. Yeah, I had a period of my life where I was really obsessive about cleaning. And then it was a short period, maybe about six months. And then I have not been able to get back to it. I hope, I mean, I clean. I clean. Dom is more tidy than I am,

but when I see this and like, wow, Kenya makes it sound so easy. I could do that. I could wake up a mop a floor. I'm gonna mop a floor. Well, that sounds disgusting, but you know what sounds really fine? We should talk about Mark some more.

So Kenya's like, listen, I'm a housewife without a husband right now. Kenya, you've always been a housewife without a husband. You've been on this show like 20 years, okay? Yeah. How the husband for five minutes. Exactly. And so, you know, she's telling them that she brought Brooklyn to New York and the first day that we're fine with the second day, he was picking fights. And, you know, and Kenya's like, you know what, he has all the power. I mean, you go up to see him, but he should be coming down to see you.

I mean, you're the one trying to figure out how to fix it, but he should be doing those things. Yeah, and they're giving her good advice. They're like, yeah, I don't think this is gonna work. You gave it your all, good job. Now, get out, get out of it. Yeah. So she says that she saw the attorney and they gave her,

he gave her the operation. Ronnie, he gave her the options of separation agreement. He gave her the game of operation. And she's like, and if I have to hear, one more time, that poor guy, she's like, she probably hits it on the edge. Like, she loses if she doesn't hit the edge. Excuse me, sir.

We're going to have to operate on you now. We have to take out your wishbone. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, so yeah, they're like, get out, Kenya. Okay. Like, you've worked hard enough at this. And both of them tell us like, he treats her like shit, and they can't believe she's putting up with it. So it's mostly, it's more of the same with Kenya pretty much. Yeah. So now we go back over to Cynthia, who is again at her kitchen island, and she is dealing with her, she has a big old calendar and her assistance like, I think I have to get you a virtual calendar because if this catches on fire, you're screwed.

And I'm not saying I'm gonna light it on fire, but I have to say it's but ugly and I kind of want to light it on fire. So let's get you online. And then Mike is working at the same time because Jill is there at the same time. So he's walking around going business business. I have business on you. Oh, hello business. She's like business business business.

He's like, business. It's like, okay, you two, you're both working. Yeah. And he's like really awkward with trying to sound like all sexy because he's like, hey, I got my final copy of his book. Oh, and by the way, I'm happy that your booty grew in quarantine. It's like, okay, that sounded really natural.

Yeah, he does another like, my dick works too. He's got a whole scene of that. He's like, yeah, I really like that ass. Yeah. Oh man, I really like that ass. Yeah. Oh man, I'm so glad for quarantine because we've been able to bang all day long. We've been 30 times a day, yeah, banging. Yeah, I think it's nice banging here

because there aren't kids everywhere. When we bang, and I do like to bang because your ass is bigger now. And you sound like a car trying to start when we bang, which we do bang. If you ever banged a car or in a car, that was funny. She puts her head under the pillow during sex and goes, so she's happy that he's there at Lake Bailey because,

you know, they, they nitpicked about everything, but they passed the test and the quarantine has made them stronger. And now it's time to get planning for their wedding on October 10th, 2020. Is there perfect dates? They got to have it. They've got to have that perfect date. 10, 10, 20. And so there's a new law that there are no gatherings of more than 50 people. And she's like, but we have 250 people. And he's like, well, it's just a warning, but you know what? At the end of the day, you'll get nothing for nothing. At the end of the day, it's our day.

So, you know, if we just have us in a minister who cares. And she's like, yeah, I think for women, it's different. You know, I've been married before in a dead dinosaur museum, okay? And I don't have a very good memory of the last wedding, so... We'll look at it back at you. And it's like her mom and her sister trying to hide her marriage certificate so she can't get married. I know, which always felt like it was a very fake thing that the producers just arranged. It did, but still so funny all these years later.

I know. And there's all these things I forgot about how they were like broke. And she couldn't go on a honeymoon. She started crying at the table. So, yeah, she has PTSD because her last huge wedding just wasn't the huge wedding she wanted. So she needs to have her new huge wedding, which also can't be mistaken for her huge wedding vow renewal that she had that she made everyone go to. So now it's time that she finally does get a part

to celebrate her and her love. So she's just like, she just wants an amazing day that she can have with her friends and family. And he's like, well, but this is life. I mean, who knew that COVID would happen, right? And she's just basically like, she wants to have a big party. And that's the end of it. Yeah. Pretty much. I mean, she's like, well, if things aren't open by 10 to 20, then maybe it's God just telling us to do it at a different time.

And he's like, well, why do we have to move our perfect date if the world isn't perfect? It should just be about us. I'm just like, but I deserve it. I deserve everything. You've already had everything, okay? Did you return all those wedding presents you got twice?

Yeah. You've already gotten like two truckloads full of free shit from people, okay? You don't deserve everything. Your third wedding, you do not deserve everything, okay? Go to city hall and buy everybody hamburger. Also, there's like way to obsessed over this cheesy ass 10, 10, 20 day, okay?

Although, who else got married? Oh, Kelly Dodd got married that same day, right? So Mike is like, he's like, well, why don't we get married that day and have a ceremony later? And Cynthia's like, mm, and he's like, if people can't be there,

you don't wanna be married. And then he's like, mm, and then so he starts getting mad that like she's really in it for the people. I'm like, you realize you were marrying a model. Like she professionally wants attention from strangers. Like that's- Yeah, in reality, you don't start. Like literally like, the definition of a model. Like she professionally wants attention from strangers. Like that's like the definition of a model is like you are on display as a model of something like your job is having eyeballs

on you. Yeah. When he said, look, I'm hearing it wrong. I don't give a fuck about the wedding unless I'm with you. And you have to ask yourself, do you want a marriage or a wedding? And I was like, wow, that is the first time anyone on housewives has ever asked for it. Yeah, I think you can ask it about every wedding that's ever happened on the housewives show. Yeah, exactly. So I think probably in her mind, she's thinking, if we move this wedding from 10, 10, 20,

we won't be shooting and Bravo won't pay for it. So we have to have it on 10, 10, 20. Oh, maybe. So then we're back at Portia's March. And she's marching in the helicopter. She's still following her. And then she sees that people around her are getting arrested. And then she gets arrested.

And so she's carted off. So then she's arrested. Yeah, she's arrested. So then we see Candy and Candy isn't her new restaurant, which may be really old lady gang. Yeah, I don't know if it was the same restaurant space that Todd was trying to turn into something last year, but it's a new place. It looks all right. And Don Juan is there and everything. And Don Juan's like making fun of her for her hair. And she's like, shut up. And Todd is like trying to talk up this concept of having a lounge because they're basically making a

stay-house. And he really wants to have a lounge, which by the way, my, what I cannot stand lounges in stay-houses. I hate that concept. I know this is a really specific nitpick, but there are enough stay-houses that have lounges and steak houses. I hate that concept. I know this is a really specific nitpick, but there are enough steak houses that have lounges. I'm looking at you, mashtros, and super, super annoying. It's just like really loud music, and you're just like there to have,

if I'm spending all this money on a steak, I don't wanna be hearing your shitty ass lounge music. Like let me just have my steak. And then on top of that, candy's like, uh, we have to socially distance. Like we can't have tables close to each other. So we need that space. We don't, we don't need people lounging.

We don't need people lounging in a restaurant. God, Todd drives me nuts with his restaurant ideas. Yeah. And it's also just so stressful watching people opening restaurants right now. And we're seeing a lot of it on these shows where everyone's like, my new restaurant's almost, it's like, oh no.

Don't do it. Yeah. So she talks with Cynthia on the phone and they talk about Portia and how proud they are because Portia is arrested that was in the blogs and stuff. And so they're worried about her and then we see that Portia's been released and she's cheering with everybody else outside the jail and she's like, yeah, you know, when you first get into that jail, there's spider webs and nothing sanitized. Which, I love the Porsche review of jail. There would no hot dogs.

Spider webs actually kind of surprised me. I kind of felt like there wouldn't be spider webs. I feel like spider webs is like a cartoon jail. Yeah, they're like, when you've seen jail on like bugs bunny, you know? Yeah, I'm not saying that I think the jail is like really clean, but I also feel like enough people are going to that jail that the spiders like don't have a chance to make a web because there's too many people in there. Yeah. Like, why would a spider make a web in a high traffic human area? Oh, spiders.

That's how they fight. And I think spiders are just misunderstood. I think they're just like, look, my art, you know, like they want to go somewhere where it's going to be seen. That's some intricate shit that they make. And then what do we do? Get out of room. I'm actually, there's a beautiful spider web on my window right here. And like that, I appreciate that. But you know, it's not art are those spiders that are just like, I'm just going to, I just want to close pin some, not close pin, but it's a called close line someone. I don't know the way they just like those spiders that just do that one

Line across a path. It's like Why are you doing one line? I'm not starting human. They're starting. No, it's not starting. It's them just saying like I'm doing one line and And all they catch are humans because What are the odds that the fly is gonna hit that one tiny line? It's the odds are terrible, but humans walk, it's always like on my face. It's like, I am the single web, the single strand web catcher. It's always on my face.

But don't you, aren't you proud of those spiders? Because I feel like those spiders are really putting forth effort. Like they're out to catch the big fish, you know? They're like, I don't want to fly. I want a fucking band, okay? I want a band. I'm always impressed how they can hang up that line. I mean, they must basically at some point, they like start on one leaf, let's say, or a branch.

And they see an area like, I'm gonna go for it. They must just jump right off and then just like try to go as far. I think they can't jump that far. I think that they jump down from the bush and then keep that shit hanging. And then they're like, you know what? I could just make this a straight up and down like skyscraper type spider web or I could walk across the sidewalk

and climb up that other bush. And then they have to poop at all that silk and they're like, ooh, ooh, and then they slowly make their way across to the other thing and then they climb back up it and then they've got to straighten it out like around something where it sticks They're so happy that they started their like stupid spider circus and they're like now all I need are performers And then I walk through and destroy it. Yeah, that only took two days of my life

Everything's gonna go great from now on. I'm gonna get everything. I'm gonna get the biggest thing I've ever gotten Ben just ruined it my art my art. I don't know I still resent, my art. I don't know, I still resent those spider webs. I don't know, I just don't understand the evolutionary purpose. Like the other ones make sense. They're like, super spider webby. Like, you know, it's gonna catch all the little bugs, all the bugs that are like, look at this beautiful art. I think we have to have an art walk

and then they get eaten by the art. But like the other ones I don't get. I don't get the evolutionary purpose. Well, you know what, art evolves. And I think they're just trying to make it bigger and better because there have been so many famous spiders over the year and they're like, oh, all these movies and films about spiders, they make us look stupid, you know?

Charlotte was writing like a different thing every day for the pig to read, you know? And then you've got like Cheetah Rivera hanging down on Broadway singing stuff. And then you've got like the ending of it. We're like the big villain that's even scarier than the clown. It's like a big spider like all these big huge spider man. For a line.

I mean, a spider man. Spider man. There's, um, uh, there was another spider thing. I think I literally took all the spiders. You did take a lot of those. No, there was one more spider that I was going to say, but I forgot what it was. It was like another really good spider. Oh, um, Lord of the spiders. You did take a lot of the, no, there was one more spider that I was gonna say, but I forgot what it was. It was like another really good spider. Oh, Lord of the Rings, there was that one spider

who was rude, by the way, that was not art, by the way. That was, that spider was non-nordist, that spider was a rude spider. What it did to Sam. Yeah, did you know that there was something called the Spider-Ham? Because I looked up famous spiders on Wikipedia. And I came across spider ham.

Spider-battler? Spider-battler? Yeah, for us. So yeah, I think spiders are like, they feel the need to compete now, you know? And they're like, it's not any good just being a regular spider. You know, you've got to do something really fucking special. So there was like an edgy spider that went to the jail and was like this could be my spot. Yeah.

Edgy, like, although it's not really in jail because it could probably just like walk very easily from like the jail cell to like anywhere it wanted to go because it's small. Yeah, I don't know, but for whatever reason, Porsche didn't even appreciate it. So you wasted your fucking time. You might as well have just made like one little strand across the sidewalk for Ben to run into for all the worth that Aegis to enforce it. She makes that that's exactly right. Portia, but what Portia did get a take away from is that she, she, she had bonded with the other protesters that were arrested and she said that she had never, like, changed her life

because they were like sharing their souls about a soul that had been lost with souls she hadn't met. And her biggest takeaway is that she would do it all over again. Yeah. And then she says, this season, keep your mask and your wig on, Ty Boo. And then it looks really funny the rest of the season. Yeah, I feel like they had to have a serious episode

because all the serious things happening in society and they kind of just had to get that out of the way. So it was like, okay, cool. This is like some serious stuff here. Yeah, it was a good episode for sure. But then they go back to regular housewives, high jinx. It's like, it goes from this to who fuck the stripper in the back and of course it's Kenya who brings that out. Then she tries to throw Tanya under the bus by saying it was Tanya and Porsche are boning that stripper. I'm not getting too excited about the stripper thing because that thing happened in

October. So that's going to be the end of the season. I think it's going to, I think we, I'm a little concerned. I didn't love how the, that like we were going through retreads of Kenya and Mark and you know, candy and block and Riley was not the that content there was not the most centrelating to me, but you know, who knows, maybe next week will be we'll we'll we'll bring some interesting stuff. Yeah, the season looks pretty fun.

I'm except for the new girl. Portia says, I will quarantine a bitch. Yeah. Sorry, come on. If that's not a promise of good things to come, I don't know what it is. Also, did you know speaking of Cynthia and her million weddings and Peter wastes all of her money, did you know that she's suing Peter? No, that's wonderful. What happened? I know it's my great news. I'm so proud of her. Because he didn't pay back alone of a couple hundred thousand bucks allegedly

allegedly yeah and good for her successful entrepreneur of course he would pay back that money yeah it's a lot of people's food so anyway that brings us to the end of real housewives of Atlanta everybody thank you so much for being with us today We'll be back tomorrow with a little below deck action You guys have asked for that to come back and guess what? We're real easy. Yeah, we're persuadable So we're bringing it back. We're gonna do it. We're gonna like it. That's right It was actually a really good episode of low decks. So I'm excited to talk about it. Yeah, it was so everybody Thank you so much for being here. We will talk to you next time. Bye.

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