Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Baby Boom

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

We're only on the second episode of "Real Housewives of Atlanta," but already Kenya has found something petty to fight about. But that's what we're here for, right? Also, babies. Lots and lots of babies. Everyone has a child suddenly. Even Marlo! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Houseware of Kitchen Island.

There's a brand new episode up on YouTube, so just Google it, Real Houseware of Kitchen Island, and enjoy. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious co-host of the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast. It's Ronnie Cara, and what's going on, Ronnie? Hello, Bean. Hi, hi, hi. I miss you. It's only been a day, but I miss you. I miss you. I always miss you, Ben. You're always in my heart.

Oh, Ronnie and I had a super fun, crazy weekend in Florida. So thank you, everyone, who came to our Florida shows. Captain Lee and Leah Black came to our Fort Lauderdale show and Jackie Seagal of the Queen of Versailles came to our Tampa show. So it was a really crazy super fun Florida weekend. So thanks everyone who showed up, who came, who and any of that, people got drunk. The lady who got dragged out of our Fort Lauderdale show, I salute you. She was having a great time. She really was. She was like, I just getting dragged out. She like saluted us. She was great. That was super fun and guess what?

It's just gonna keep on going. We have a new show to announce tomorrow, but we're announcing it tomorrow, but keep your Keep your ears open for it. In the meantime, this week, we have so much fun stuff. We are going to Indianapolis and Chicago. The Chicago shows are completely sold out But there are still tickets for Indianapolis So if you couldn't get a ticket to to bravo con hey come see us So here's what the plan is in Indy We are going to be recapping the latest episode of Dallas and the early Chicago show We're gonna do the latest episode of New Jersey and for the late show

We're gonna do a classic New York episode It's gonna be season six episode 10 Bon Voyage Ramona, okay? It's the one where Ramona She goes into the woods and has a terrible childhood memory And I just skim through some of the episode and it is hilarious. So that's season six episode 10 bond voyage Ramona. You can it's on Hulu and I think you could probably get it from iTunes. So again, then going forward, we got two shows in New York next week, both sold out. Thank you guys. And then in December,

we got St. Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle. We start back up in January with the Golden Crappies here in Los Angeles, and then we're going to Detroit to Columbus, two shows in Austin, Houston, Birmingham, Alabama, New Orleans, Kansas City, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, and going back to Charleston. So it's just like amazing. We're to have so much fun at all the shows. So that's all the show updates. Anything else I have to say, Ronnie, that needs to be addressed. We have our Shannon Boldore t-shirts up still. Those are pretty fun. So go get those. We've also got Twork, Dork, and Windlife. Because you talk those, make talk those solids.

Those are up at crappensmerch.com, which you can find it. Watch at crapens.com. A link is there. And we're also going to be released our Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah T shirts. Everybody and like, okay, uh, the Christmas one says, um, what does a Christmas one say? It's Ramona in a Santa hat. Well, whoa, whoa, so it says something something something I cannot believe I don't remember and then the There's all you have to say is Ramona all you have to say is Ramona in a Christmas hat and that's like done sold

And then the leggings are Ramona in a Christmas hat So those are gonna go back up tonight. So go buy those for Christmas. Okay everybody well Thank you for everybody who supports that stuff. That really helps us out. And today, we just recorded our bonus for the week. That's super fun. We talked about Ben's trip to Thailand, a little bit about my trip to Mexico. Talked about dog movies.

It was a fun episode. And I got one last thing, which is that we I'm gonna be sending out the newsletter this week so make sure you're signed up at watchrocraftens.com Yeah, I'm gonna say that so unenthusiastically. It's a really good newsletter. I wrote it on the plane So I had like more time in the world. So it's like a novel. It's like Something to read while you're working out this week Perfect I have not written mine yet. So I don't know what that's going to turn out to be. Who knows? No.

It's a world less fit. Okay. Let's get on to the real housewives of Atlanta. Okay. Yeah. Atlanta. Second episode. Going strong. It's exciting.

Uh, yeah. It's really good. I mean, they're doing something a little different this year. Have you noticed how they're shooting it a little differently? Um Like really long Porsche scenes and then we'll get a commercial and then get another Porsche scene or like Cynthia's in almost every scene Yeah, they're not switching it up between each y there's they're doing something weird with the format And I'm kind of liking it and it's not just tricksy monical songs anymore. Yeah, now there's like actually artists

No offense tricksy. But I mean, like, long form artists who don't just repeat the same line over and over. I know that too. I thought I noticed. I was like, whoa, it sounds like a real song. Like a real artist I should know. Yeah. And also today we got taglines.

Yeah, most importantly, taglines. Yeah, most importantly taglines. So here they are. We start off with Kenya who says, I was gone with the wind, but now I'm back and twice as fabulous. Yeah, I don't think anybody needs gone with the wind back. Those were some rough times. So saying that to sing that. And of course, Kenya is going to be twice as terrible now. And it's been like six years since that say. I don't know. Let's give it a rest.

Yeah. Then we have Eva. I'm living my dreams, not above my means, which is the first time we've ever had poor bragging. Yes, that's very true. It is poor bragging. She's like, I Shop it was the format. Yeah, pretty much. It's like who needs success? I dress for less She's like I won't even do marshals I'm doing good. I've got home good So then porches like the Phoenix has risen and I'm saying, bye Ashes. Which is really one of the silliest housewives lines we've ever had. And it's also one of Portia's most clever. Well, I liked what was the one she had. She's had some really

good ones. I like the one that was like, I'm too blessed to be stressed and too, I always forget, I was getting the too blessed to be stressed and too like tall to be in a mall. I don't know, but I liked it. To stress, we're making people crazy right now. I know people. To be blessed, poor chef.

And to. To be blessed to be stressed and too sexy to be thirsty. When it does sort of trail off air, doesn't it? It does. I mean, this one, she, first of all, she doesn't know what the Phoenix is. Like she probably doesn't even know where Phoenix is. Okay. But the fact that she knows that the Phoenix has risen from the ashes, like that she could, I mean, I would like to congratulate her gay for riding that she is she is probably she probably had a moment of panic Because she probably thought that like Godzilla came in and leveled Phoenix like what happened to Phoenix?

This Phoenix has risen. Sorry Scott's down This Phoenix has risen and I'm too sexy to be thirsty. No Porsche.ia. No, you you put two things to know that's an old one So then Cynthia who's having an incredible season so yeah, Cynthia I have to say this is Cynthia's best season already Like she's already I was thinking the same thing. I'm under her own. I don't know what it is There's a confidence about her. I agree. You know what it is because she's with a good man Not saying it's the man's is not because the man did it for her. It's that she's happy.

It would be sex. No, me that she's fine. She's not with fucking Peter and you know, and she's not with Will. She's like with someone who she's feeling loved and like, well, we'll get into it. It's like what no else is later on when she's been well basically like, I've never seen you in like a confident place before. And I think that's what she is. And she's so confident that she's just getting faceless in the

middle of filming. Because like, when? One testimonial her face is one way. And then the next testimonial, she has a different face. I mean, Cynthia is just like, who cares? I'll do whatever I want. I will get a brand new face halfway through the season. And you can suck it. And it's gonna work. And it's going to work. And it works. They're both beautiful.

So Cynthia hers is the only time I look back is to see how far I've come. Which you know makes sense like when you're driving and stuff. I mean, she does do a lot of driving scenes. So I just picture her eyes in that rear view mirror. Yeah. She's basically talking about how she pulls out of driving scenes. So I just picture her eyes in that rear view mirror. Yeah. She's basically talking about how she pulls out of her driveway. Yes. I'm in candies. Yes. No, no, no, you go candies. And then candy is don't check for me unless you got a check for me. Um, don't check for me unless you got a check for me. Now should

that be don't check me unless you got a check for me. Well, I wasn't sure if I heard it right. I don't check for me. Well, if it's don't check me, then that's really going to enter Shirei territory who by the way, I still don't know why we got rid of Shirei like. Yeah, I don't know. Why do't know what happened all with her prison boyfriend and her winter spring summer joggers and her baseboards Yeah, and her you know, I mean shadow charade's got to be foreclosed upon by now, right me. I assume that I don't know I'm I'm sensing it's listed on Airbnb. That's my prediction Air who's gonna check me boo and boo. Air who can you check me boo, boo, boo.

Air sorry. Sheree, B&B. It'll just be her. So you know, you know that if Sheree were like an Airbnb hostess, she would just be all up in your business. She actually wouldn't even leave. She would just write every guest a terrible review. Yeah, she would. Um, so then we get Neenie. Neenie's is, I'm on a spiritual journey and still traveling first class. You suck, okay?

You're an obnoxious woman. You're very mean and I hate how you're smiling in the opening. Her mouth is like wide open. She's just giving a big fake smile. I'm so mad at Neenie, okay? Can't get over it. I am a tutor yet. So I don't know if I'm like less mad than I was. So I don't know. I know I haven't had a remodeled. I know I actually like this line a lot, but I just don't feel like it's true. Like I don't think she's on a spiritual journey. I think she's like on a journey to swag a good boutique to check in on the inventory. I

don't think that's a spiritual journey. Yeah, I'm not sure about Neenie's spiritual journey, but I'm usually spiritual journeys don't include like how much money you have. Yeah, I think you don't talk about that, you know. I feel like she should have had a pond about closets, right? Like, I'm, well, I mean, it's hard to make a pond about closets without sound making it sound like you're,'re like outing yourself, not that she's gay, but

I'm just saying like, but I feel like they're like, that's what it should have been like, like something like don't come into my closet unless you want me to hit you with a with a belt. Just a very straight up no word play, just a general warning for all of us. Like, I don't care if you come out of your closet, but you better get out of mind. Something like that. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So, Candy and Cynthia meet for lunch.

Mm, wow. This was actually like not much happened in the scene, but it was actually, I thought it was a surprisingly delightful scene. It was just, it was Cynthia and Candy and then eventually Porsche joined up, and they were just like chatting and laughing, and I felt like I was hanging out with my girlfriends,

and I was like, this is kind of, I'm kind of like digging this, it just was like nice. It was like a nice, I was like, it was one of those things. It felt like you felt like you were hanging out with your girlfriend. I know, right? I'm just picturing that.

You at like a salad place, just hanging out on stools, laughing, laughing together. It's like those, you know, isn't there like an Instagram account or a blog that's like, um, women eating salad alone and laughing, and there's like all these talk photos out in the world of women laughing while they eat salads alone. That's what I am. It's you. That's your memory of you. You alone at like a mean greens. Yeah, I'm like, oh, man, I had such a good time with Candy and Cynthia and Portia the other day.

It's like Ben, you were, you were a life partner. You didn't give your apartment. So there, I actually like watching people get along for, it's just such a change. I'm like, hey, let's do something really different. How about we just all get along and have a good time. Yeah, how about that? Yeah, exactly.

I don't need it all the time, but it's it's fun It's something new guys. Let's write in real life So Cynthia and Candy are there first and Candy has been I guess she said she's like she's like Finally back from touring. I guess she's been taking her dungeon her sex dungeon cabaret thing or burlesque around to wherever So she's back from that and they're talking about her new baby that's coming Coming down the pike with the surrogate and she's like they're talking about like Where are their babies gonna be and can't he's like well at this point the baby just gonna be in our room

I'm like can't do you have? You have a house that's attached to your house like Like you have a whole house, I guess mansion. How do you not have room for another baby? Candy does not want to walk around her damn house, okay? Of course, he could build another room or what I'm sure she has rooms, but it's, you have to wake up and then walk like down long hallways, you know,

when you're rich like Candy. Do you need that baby right next to you? So just roll over and like snap it on the head like a snooze but you know what I say I say kick kale out okay sweet girl but she's like 21-22 she can get an apartment in the city give that room to the baby that's ridiculous I mean I know that like actually I actually know that like most most new parents have or like most people have their babies in their same room, you know, beginning, but they're acting like, if they're, if they're, I really don't know why I'm like really so impassioned about this, but I just feel like if the time comes where they need to have a room for the new kid, please do not do the Heather DeBro thing and like sell a house and build a multi-million dollar house in its place like just kick Kayla out and like she's an adult. Of course, Kayla. I love Kayla.

I say. Kayla's nice, but she's an adult. She can like get in her own apartment or move into the guest page. I say every baby needs a crate, okay? That's what I say. Get that baby crate. Tell us about it. Baby needs a crate.

Just log avert. Todd needs a little foot stool. I don't know. That part Todd, part Todd has a little foot stool. So candy is talking about basically their Madokan, yeah, because Kenya spills their, you know, their gossip instead of letting them tell Porsche the gossip. Kenya did it and say it's the same storyline from last year, you know, it's like, wait for me to say it.

So can you finally Porsche arrives and Porsche opens up to them probably more than she ever has because usually she's trying to pretend everything's okay, but I guess she can't really pretend everything's okay. You know, it's like the people magazine of Atlanta today has like B.C.L.A.D. splashed all over the cover. So, you know, there you go. The fact that like as they talk about Dennis and his infidelity, that B.C.L.A.D.D.

keeps getting thrown in there so casually, like I don't understand how people are not making a stink about this. Like, it's two episodes in a row where it's like, I don't know what's going on with them. Other women, animals, I'm like, why are we just throwing animals in there? Okay, and especially as gay people like gay people We often get lumped into this situation. We're like, oh you make a marriage legal next thing You know what?

Beastieality like for some reason there's like this stupid slope when like when you turn gay next up as bestiality And here is like, oh yeah, bestiality as someone who has been lumped in with the next stop is bestiality. And here, there's like, oh yeah, bestiality. As someone who has been lumped in with the beast on the bestiality, like, fear train, why can't we have some more bestiality fear train from Dennis? Why? That is so true, because when I was young, I'm from a very religious family.

And when I was young, that's what people said all the time. If you allow gay marriage, why wouldn't you just allow a man to marry a goat? It's like a oh, yeah. And so I guess it is like that. It's like, once people accept gayness, now they're just like, okay, he's, he's into beach reality. None of our business.

I'm like, wow, maybe that crazy lady at church really. You know what, maybe I just, I feel like, you know what, a man marrying his goat probably would be a more stable relationship than a lot of things. We see on Bravo. Let's be honest. He'd probably cheat less than Dennis. I know. I think so.

I feel like if Dennis found the goat, he couldn't take back the race. You know, listen, that goat's level will be unconditional. You just give it some straw and you, I mean, you can step out on that goat and the goat will not mind. The goat's like, I know what I'm married. And I'm okay with it. Wow. So Portia comes in and then I so she's she's talking about how she's she has not gone back to work yet because she's still really like emotionally fraught. Well, the dentist thing and then also like you know the idea of having to like not be with her baby every single day is hard for her. And then in the middle of this,

it's like the side to order. And I just love, I don't know if he knows this, but Porsche is like, she just turns to candy, he's like, you like wings, right? You like wings? You like wings? And he's like, yeah, you like wings, you like wings, right? Can't you like wings? Yeah, you like wings, can't you like wings, right? I just like this. Candy just has no say in it, like, yes, she must like wings. Yeah, and she's like, I'll do. I'll also do a Hany and Coke. And Candy's like, oh, so I guess we gave up on breastfeeding, huh?

She's like, well, I did it for three weeks, but, man, even only doing it three weeks, I've got one nipple up here and one nipple down there. I mean, geez, I need them to be spread evenly. And if I have another kid, well, I'm not going to have another baby. Because I'm not going to have another baby. I'm not going to have two babies with two different daddies. So don't tell yourself that. First of all, who cares? That would be, it's not like crazy to do that. And second of all, you're basically

tying yourself to Dennis forever. Stop. Just stop right now. Yeah, my will not accept this. I like you, Portia. Yeah, you're hitching your card onto the wrong hot dog. Commissures. Here comes one right now.

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondria. And the funny thing to me is that I feel like I've seen a lot on various TV shows or just talked to people about press feeding. And I remember what's her face. Rudy from the Cosby Show I'm Blah- blanking on her name, but she was on Slavery Big Brother. It's first season I think it was, and she quit. She

essentially quit or she asked to be voted off because she had just given birth and so like her milk was drying up because she wasn't breastfeeding and she's like, this is my milk, this is my baby, my baby relies on my milk, and like there's so many people who are like, this is important. Like, this is like mother's milk, you know, and then pushers like, my nipples up here and the other one's down here, uh-uh. I'm done. Yeah, I'm done.

I'm gonna have some honey, okay? I'm having honey, okay. As far as I'm concerned, that baby can drink almond milk for the fridge. I don't care. I don't care if this one's. I paid a lot of money for these nips, and I'm not allowing them to get crooked.

Yeah. Finally, I'm understanding motherhood. Like, this is the kind of motherhood story I can follow. I paid a lot of money for these nips, and I am not allowing them to get crooked. Finally, I'm understanding motherhood. Like this is the kind of motherhood story I can follow. Yes. So, yeah, so she's not just talking about Dennis, and they're basically like, what's going on with Dennis? Like, what is happening? And Porsche is saying she's not sure that she can work it out.

Yeah, she's like, well, you know, we're still texting, but then we're texting about the baby, but then that sprinkled in with texting about my feelings. And then that sprinkled in with my hot dog order. And then that's I just. Yeah, she's and candy's like, now, is it just about the cheating because people get past the G.A.D. Well, they'll be the Audi. Did you check the goats? And the big thing here, like we just glaze over the bestie-ality to get to, you gave the ring back. What the fuck? And she's like, he asked for a back.

Who does that? Oh, I thought she didn't give the ring back, but I think you're right. Because then I was looking, I was like, where's the ring? And you would think that I would have thought. Yeah, I would have thought. Yeah, I guess the ring didn't mean a thing, you know, as one of our cast members, one saying, yeah, if you're, if you're marrying a man who takes the ring

back, don't try and get back together with the man. And don't tell me you're not trying to get back together with the man because you are trying to get back together with the man. Okay. Yeah. Get a ring. Get a ring. So keep your eye on the prize. Yeah, but ultimately, Portia wants Dennis and PJ to have a good relationship. PJ is the daughter. And, and the women are just, they just want to prop Portia up and like help her get through it, et cetera, et cetera. So, you know, it was nice. Yeah, it's a nice scene. So Eva has been filling in for Portia over at Dishnation, and she's exhausted because, you know, she's like full of babies herself. Yeah, a lot of baby. Everyone has a baby on this show like there's babies babies all over the place. So like my water broke. There's so many babies

my water broke. Like Jesus, my nipples are like in two different places now. Yeah, this show is basically like filmed on a baby monitor at this point. Nothing but bass. By the way, my nipples have always been in two places. Let's carry on. By the way, next episode just could be poroushows during in a mobile mobile. Mobil. It kind of already is.

I mean, they're really capturing, you know, postpartum depression. I mean, they're really capturing that. There's nothing like watching poroushows just sitting depressed with her baby in her house with like LED strip lights running behind her in different colors I mean, that's the most depressing shit I've ever seen. It is so even is over at dish and She gets a call from Cynthia who appears on her phone as Mava and This season Cynthia and Eva are best friends because that's like what Cynthia does is that like every season She has a new best friend

that she's close with, which is gonna be a problem for Kenya now. But so Cynthia is basically, Cynthia tells Eva like, oh, just so you know, you were a hot topic of conversation after you left Kenya's party, because as people may remember,

it's really hard to, let's see if I can state this clearly. I will not be able to but Porsche Porsche I can't remember How it all came up when Eva no Kenya was telling Porsche was telling I can't okay Porsche was talking to Eva. Eva whistle when he said she didn't want her baby to be around. She just didn't bring her kids because she doesn't know if people are going to fight.

She's never been around Kenya. Then Porsche ran and told that to Kenya right away because now they're best friends. So Cynthia's tattletelling on Porsche for telling Kenya. Exactly. There you go. Okay. So. So and I'm very proud of myself. You did that really. I like my brain just to those eyes like Russell Crowe and beautiful mind. That was Russell Crowe. Yes. And like watching numbers fly around and it came to me. And I was just Jennifer Connelly standing

in the corner being like, wow. I'm gonna get an Oscar for this. Yeah. So, Eva's mad. And also Cynthia is talking like she took three Adderall. She's like, hey girl, okay, this and everything is going on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, bye. And I'm like, man, Cynthia is going to work the hardest this season. Like, yeah, I've never seen Cynthia with this much energy. And it honestly makes me kind of uncomfortable.

I'm not sure. It's a lot. So Eva has sort of like the line of the episode. She's like, you know, this happened last year. I had to gather everyone like a ponytail. Like let it go everyone. There aren't enough edges in this group to keep gathering them like a ponytail.

Yeah. So even it's like, I do not have time. And Cynthia's like, well, you need to read her. Like you did Marlowe, Marlowe, Cha. When Cynthia, we got a good old fashioned. I took your read. So that was even best moment. Yeah, it really was.

It was when I even approved herself because so far, she had been like a wedding storyline. Yeah. Um, but yeah, she proved herself and she's going to continue that today. Uh, but Cynthia brings up gay pride because it's New York City world pride and a bunch of Bravo people went. So I like that they're making that kind of a crossover event for all the different shows. We'll see how that works out. Yeah, I was very exciting to see Sonia Morgan

in the previews for next week's episode. Like, who'd have thought Sonia Morgan would ever make her way on to real housewives of Atlanta, but here she is. Here she is. make her way on to real housewives of Atlanta, but here she is. Here she is. So Kenya's house. Oh my God, there's a lot of sadness in this episode. Let's just smile. There's just like between the breakups and the babies. It's just, it's, it's a lot. It makes me pine for some of the other, it makes me pine for like New York or Potomac, where they're just messy and and and that's that. And I feel like they're trying to be messy like they are trying they're they are injecting that B.C.D.O.D. wherever they can. They are dropping B.C.D.O.D. but at the end of the day we're still

looking at sad women with babies, you know. Yeah, I don't like that they're sad but both of these situations like it was so easy to call it right at the beginning like oh you're America hotdog guy you've known for five minutes. He's also fucking someone else and has like, you know, tattoos of, it's like a keychain store at a tourist, or the tourist store with like a cheek, keychain rack, all the girls on him. And then Kenya, wow, you met your husband at a restaurant,

new him for like five minutes. Come on, Bull. Come on, make an effort. So Kenya's face timing with Mark and like, basically doing it so I Brooklyn can see her dad and he's like upset with how Brooklyn's hair is and he hates the dog and like Kenya, Kenya basically says that even though he has other kids,

he kind of acts like he has no idea like how to be a parent. So. Oh, I thought she just saying he's got two kids. So he's treating her like she doesn't know anything about. Oh, maybe that's, you know, maybe I'm just like missing all the finer nuances of the show tonight. I'm just like, I hate when the dogs in the house stop letting the dog kiss the, kiss the human and why, why isn't there gel in the, the baby's hair? That baby looks like a boy.

I don't like my baby to look like a boy with the fuck I'm gonna have swimming we are already being competitive with the parents like fuck you dude Yeah, you're not even here to see your fucking kids You're not even making an effort and when she's like when are we gonna see you again? He's like we'll see yeah, how about you go fuck yourself. I hope she takes you for any every penny you have You're an asshole even I'm standing up for Kenya. Yeah. Yeah, this is where you do this to me.

We have turned a new leaf. This is shocking. Shocking. He's a horrible human being and you made a huge mistake having a baby with him. Although that baby is one of the cutest fun babies I've ever seen in my life. It'll be a really gorgeous baby than child and adults

because those are good genes. I think that those are solid genes. Yeah, but what a prick. Wow. Speaking of good genes, we now go over to Cynthia, who's driving with Noel, who was having anxiety at Howard. And I was like really worried. I was like, oh my god, please say that you didn't drop out also because like, there's a really, really strong track record of Bravo Kids going off to college and then dropping out. And I actually feel like in some ways they are like drawn to the cameras and they want to come back for that. But she's still in school, so I'm very happy.

And you know, that's good. So I'm happy. Her big news is that she's fluid. Yeah. And Cynthia's like, well, I knew that she was fluid child, but I didn't know that she's fluid. Yeah. And Cynthia's like, well, I knew that she was fluid child, but I didn't know that she was flowing. Yeah, I don't know. She was out there being fluid, flowing. Yeah. Cynthia's like, I mean, no, I was like, stop making a title for it, mom. It's like whatever, like sometimes I like girls and sometimes like whatever mom.

And she's like, okay, well, so world pride is around the corner. So love us. Yeah, that's great. That's great. Which it is. Yeah, you know, good for you. I'm so glad I wasn't born in a time with that many options because I'm terrible at a salad bar.

Okay. Like I will think, I will think everything. I feel like I came from a time where it's like your gay or your that was like huge, you know, right. There weren't as many options and man, I'm almost grateful for that because I can never make up my mind. Lath was simpler back then. Oh, life.

Remember when you was simple. simpler back then. Oh, live. Remember when you was simple. So I also, I also thought it was funny because Noel, she's like, so mom, did you miss me when I was in college? Like you and Michael all boot up and Cynthia goes, well, you left and might came. And it's like, oh, did you have to make a coming joke to your daughter? Yeah, that was pretty good. And no, Wells just grossed out. No, I was like, it's just totally false flat. She's like, I was fluid, but I think I've actually now committed to something. And then No, Wells basically shading Peter.

She's like, you know, I'm happy for you, because I never got to see you and my dad when you were in love. And like my only example would be you and Peter and, you know, yeah, definitely don't want that. Yeah. I'm just so happy to finally have role models. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

And Cynthia's like, well, you know, I hope that you bring home the next goat you date. We'll all celebrate. So does your fluidity involve goats? Cause I hear there's some guy who married one. Is your fluidity involved goats? Cause I hear there's some guy who married one. No. So let's go to Bravo's favorite new hobby, the trampoline park.

Trampolines and this time to make things a little more exciting, they put the trampolines in slow motion. Ooh, the drama about his falling and bouncing. Changing guitar, but it did So candy is meeting Marlo and listen Marlo No one's having a very happy year. Can you maybe bring some fun? I know Marlo is also even Marlo's having a good time Marlo like someone like told Marlo by the way this season we are gonna be focusing on sadness and children She's like, okay, um, let me just get we are going to be focusing on sadness and children.

She's like, okay, let me just get my sister committed to the mental hospital and I'll be right back with you. Yeah, exactly. That was really sad. So her sister, one of the her sister's kids called and said, can you pick me up? Mom just got taken away. And she said by the police and they were like, no, the mental, you know, the mental hospital or whatever, because she's bipolar and something else, I forgot. Well, either way, I mean, obviously it's great that Marlow's taking care of these kids. But at the same time, I also have to wonder, man,

if Marlow is who you have to go to, wow, these kids, this is hard, this is hard. Yeah. And they call her, Candace is like, what's your nickname for her again? And I was like, last resort. No, just kidding. Uh, it's a Monty, which is cute.

Um, but Marlow's, yeah, Mommy auntie, Monty. And, um, this is really fucking sad and good for Marlow taking care of those kids. I know. It was actually a show like a softer side of Marlow. My first instinct was why are we at a trampoline park instead of Marlow's house watching this shit go down. Like, this is a spinoff if I've ever heard it. If Mimi can get a spinoff for her fake divorce, then Marlow can get a spinoff for her like new facts of life situation. I mean, why wouldn't we want to see Marlow at a trampoline park? She showed up in sequence. She like, even can't, she was like, like, you are in sequence in sequence trampoline park. Like the truly the worst option in a big bouncy area sequence.

Yeah. So candy is now friends with Marlo, obviously. She's closer with her and they're talking about Neenie and God, what's going to happen with Neenie and candy is like, well, she did reach out to me. So maybe that means we're moving forward. And Marlo is like, well, just because just because you have problems with maybe that means we're moving forward. And Marlowe's like, well, just because, just because you have problems with NeNe, I don't need to be in the middle.

She's like, yeah, but you didn't really stand out for me in that whole closet thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And Marlowe has like, well, you know what? You know, it's like I said, like you shouldn't listen to what people say. And Ken just like, but I listen to you. She's like, exactly.

You shouldn't have listened to me when I said go into the closet So then we get a lovely ballad for another porcissine Really liked it almost put on my shazam, but then I was like what do you 90? Sam, do I have shazam? Well, I don't know. How did the ball go? It was like, I take care of you. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, I take care of you. And it's Portia.

She's at home with the baby, of course, and in an effort to increase the show to maximum baby load here comes Shamiya with her baby. Yeah lots of babies. So that's why I wrote down right here. I said so many babies. So Portia's like before Shami and I had our babies we be talking about what the next wig we're gonna get where's the vacation? Where's the hookah spot bitch? I was like, whoa. Look at a place bitch. Portia is hilarious.

I never said any random talking about bottles, babies and beams. Yeah. Um, so they start talking, uh, portions like we're drinking. Okay. Yeah. Like, and don't even worrying about, don't even worry about pumping and dumping. Cause this hardly has any alcohol. It's only got 5%. Shamia's baby looks terrified. Her eyes are like bulging like where am I? Who is this scary lady? I feel like there's some bestiality happening here. What's going on? Her baby was giving Porsche the funniest looks. The whole scene, they kept cutting to that baby. She's like, are you feeding my mom alcohol? You know I have to suckle from her cheat soon, right?

Yeah, I'm a child. Oh, I was looking how much alcohol is in wine, because I literally have no idea. 11%. But I wasn't wine. I thought it was like a brand. I thought it was some sort of like, it was a wine cooler.

But when she said, that's just hardly anything. Well, bottles range from as little as 5.5% alcohol by volume to as much as around 20% is what it says. Because I thought 5% is normal, isn't it? Like, portions. This is light. Porses like it says it's 1% and they meet it so seriously they say it again. It's like, no, that's 11%. It's one repeated. Yeah. One to one percent. The range is one to one percent. So they start talking about Dennis again.

And Portia, love you. Sorry for everything you're going through kind of, even though you did it to yourself by being with this comeback that everybody told you was a comeback for the beginning. So kind of feel for you. Really don't want to hear about this for the next 19 hours of my life. Yeah. So basically Portia and Dennis, they banged. And she's like, it wasn't my fault for real.

I just got out of my six weeks. And she basically says they went to therapy together. And on the way back, no, not to therapy. They went to like a doctor's checkup. And on the way back, Dennis was like, why don't we go to the liquor store? Which is like pretty much as red a flag. That could be, like I think at that point, you just, that's like where you know where the night is going

at that point, and you guys are broken up. If you say let's go to the liquor store together, you don't go to the liquor store. But, But Porsche said to dope, and she's like, he said you wanna, you wanna go get some liquor,

you wanna go to the liquor store to get some liquor? I was like, okay, well that's a good thing to go to a liquor store for. And then we started watching this movie, but it turned out to be a series. It's like, Porsche is the easiest, easily as strict person at all time. Have you ever seen this movie called Frazier? I said sure, then we'll watch a movie called Cheers. It's going to be amazing. Got to free two hours. Cheers is gonna be amazing.

Gotta free two hours. So they like then they got sucked into this series because Dennis needed to see how it ended up I really want to know what show it was. I like desperately need to know like this is like game of thrones No playing in the background. Oh God. So, uh, yeah. So then basically, uh, he stayed over and they slept together. I should say that's the, that's the crucial part. And I am just completely shocked. And you know, you know, you're right. That's your baby's father. You have fun. So then Cynthia is in the car because that's what Cynthia is and she's trying to pair a little park and then Kenya comes up and her new Tesla with like those futuristic doors that go up.

Yeah. And that's basically me trying to order my phone around. Like I'm the only person who doesn't know how to say, hey, phone name, I won't say it to make everybody crazy. You know, call so and so. I'm the only person that I know who still can't do shit like that. Yeah. Well, I never know the questions you're supposed to ask Siri or tell Siri to do. Like, there's a whole Siri can do so much,

but I just ultimately just wind up saying things like, where, like, where is McDonald's? And then she doesn't, she's like, I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. I'm like, no, where, and I'm like, fine, mind And I ask her so formally as if as if I'm interrupting her. I'm always like um excuse me Siri Where's McDonald's you know, like I'm always like so tentative and I don't know why I'm like she works for me Okay, she works for me I know I'm like that too and then I always say thank you and she never says anything back and I'm like well Excuse me for having manners. I know exactly. I'm sorry Siri that I'm trying to be a friendly boss

Apparently it's unappreciated. Yeah, sorry for trying to lift your spirits on a work day. Geez So Kenya's like Closed please door close dark close I had it with this door this motherfucking door, close, door, close. I was having with this door, this motherfucking door. No, she finally gets it closed. And then she's meeting Cynthia at some spiritual place called Three Corners. Yeah, and then we just see this guy

and he's just sitting there in a football jersey, but also various kuchmaw and he's like, Hey beautiful ladies. I was like this is not what I was expecting in this like house of budas yeah welcome to the rate corners so she's like well since I was accused of having that energy you know I'm I need some protection and you know with Eva oh god Eva said Eva said one thing. I know But I appreciate this I like that Kenya is gonna go after Eva because it's going to make Eva get all prickly and It's a stupid fight and it doesn't have anything to do babe. Well, I guess it does have to do babies

It is does have to do babies, but it's gonna be it's gonna be petty It's like I need some patty-ness on the show right now because everything else is too serious. It's a lot, yeah. And Kenya's already using that baby for every fight ever. She's like, you are bringing bad energy around my child. Like, oh, God, here we go. She's gonna return Eva's gift, which is very Kim Richards. It'll be lots of drama, I'm sure.

Yeah, good luck at the home goods without a receipt. Yeah Well, so now the thing is that now Kenya is getting met Cynthia because Cynthia is defending Eva Well, that's how can you see it as Cynthia defending Eva? Cynthia is merely just saying what the situation was Which was just like a casual comment and trying to like she's trying to like basically diffuse the situation and Kenya's seeing it as like, no, you're defending her. Oh, and you guys are best friends now. I thought we were best friends

and like, I'm the only one who's ever been a good friend to you and like, you always like go after Nini and Al-Eva and they treat you badly, but I'm the only one who's a good friend, which is usually the thing that an abusive person says. Yeah, that's Kenya. But Cynthia's also diffusing it because she was part of the problem.

We see the clip and Cynthia is like, yeah, she, you know, she's never really been around Kenya before. So she's the one who said that. Yeah. So she's probably going to get dragged in at some point. So she's like, don't get too mad. I do like that. Cynthia has such a backbone now.

She's like, take your tone down. I'm not Brooklyn. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so then we go over to a place called Fomileos, which is, um, it's basically a Pridel Shop candy. He's like, please tell me we're not at the Pridel Shop. But, uh, because Cynthia's brought them there, but Cynthia's looking for her world pride gown.

And so even though it is a Pridel Shop, it is also a gown shop. So Cynthia's not dropping any hints allegedly, although it's clear that she is. Yeah, she's like a totally normal to wear wedding dress for pride. Yeah. A wedding dress that says,

Jill on the back of it. Yeah, I'm wedding fluid. I just have a wedding every day. Different kinds of weddings every day. That's my right. So Eva joined that. I might as well want to have a wedding. So that is funny. So Eva joins in. And the story lady is like, she's really bad, a customer pattern. She's like very like aggressive about it. So she's evil enters and is looking pregnant and this and the store lady is like, oh my goodness, you're so cute. When are you do? She was like that. She was super awkward. Do you look really cute?

When are you down? Yeah. She was like, this is the line I'm supposed to say when I see a pregnant person enter the store. So even even it's like, oh, you know I'm supposed to say when I see a pregnant person enter the store. So even, even it's like, oh, you know, I'm two months and I've told Candy first and Cynthia's like, I thought, I was your new best friend. Why are you telling Candy first? Not me. I mean, of Candy, she got me a necklace. It says, Jail, did she give you a necklace?

Did she give you one? So Cynthia is all competing over best friends. Oh, so the, um, poor Cynthia, she's always just on the butt end of these situations, isn't she? So we learned that Eva has not spoken to Neney ever since the reunion pretty much, which was surprising because Eva would say that Neney's her big sister and had Neney invited Neney to make a speech at her wedding,

which Neney did very, very grudgingly. And so basically Eva and Cynthia, I'm assuming no one has really spoken to Neney because she was such a monster at a wedding, which you need to do very, big rudgingly. And so basically, even in Cynthia, I'm assuming no one has really spoken to Nini because she was such a monster at the reunion and everyone's like, fuck this bitch. But, you know, we know she's coming back into the into the picture. Yeah.

So they're talking about, you know, who's gonna fight with Nini, but then it comes over to the Kenya conversation. So Cynthia's like, well, you should have come to lunch with us the other day because we were talking about how Kenya whistle went to bring that stuff up to Porsche. We wanted to bring it up. Yeah. And really stuff. Yes. And then they tell her about the other stuff that she's in trouble for saying about Kenya, like not wanting to have a kid. Kenia, because Kenya brought that stuff up as a gift to Porsche since Porsche told Kenya that Eva said she didn't feel comfortable with her kid there.

So this is only episode two. Oh my god. They're like lost in the woods. Okay, and it's episode. I know. And so Eva's basically like, yeah, I'm not bringing my kid around. They're like, I like, if I will bring my kid wherever I say it's appropriate and like it's no like it's answer bus

No questions asked like I choose what I'm gonna do. I don't even know Kenny's middle name. I don't even know her real eye color I don't even know if they're shampoo and her shampoo bottles Yeah, and I'm witter on that, but this is gonna be a season of everybody fighting in the name of their child like yeah I am a mother how dare you tell you're attacking I am a mother. How dare you tell me you're attacking my baby. You're attacking how dare you attack me as a mother. Oh, it's just going to be truly, truly awful. So Eva's going off now, you know, and she's mad that Porsche was talking about her, and she's been feeling in at work for Porsche. Which I guess is kind of a favor, but it's also like making you more famous.

So, I don't know, I think thank you's her in order as well here, man. But she's going off on Porsche, and she's like, she has enough business to worry about. Should I bring up the blogs? Why doesn't she worry about blogs? Oh God. And then when, he was, what, why don't you just sing Dennis with a bow, Dennis with a bow? Okay. Well, I've, first I wrote down Cynthia saying,

turn down, bun, turn down. Which is great. But we both went haywire on our notes, because here's my notes. Eva is, she stopped stopped Colin, Colin, get her C. Steck Dema, J.A. O.M.L.M.G. and she got to worry about N.P.T. S.P.F.N.A.L.S. I feel like your fingers were not aligned with your keyboard. You know, when that happens, like the most surreal thing. That's what happened. You know, when you start typing and you're like, oh, wait a second, why there's so many semi-colons?

You're like, the words are not matching my fingers. You clearly like had your your your hands like two letters over Yeah, as tumor TP get home every pume Either Poland Either way Either way, they were clearly talking about Porsche and Dennis like maybe getting back to get like that They will probably get back together again and even starts making this joke Which I forget the context of like Dennis with the bow Dennis with the bow I guess maybe that's what the kid I don't know what it

was but the most important part for me yeah the kid is like Dennis with the bow yeah Dennis with the bow but the most important part is as they were starting to get shady candy started to do like a tornado alarm did you hear that because in the background she started going, Where is Helen Hunt? I can kill you. Where is Helen Hunt? And the Pepsi dance. The cross is green.

You go back and you listen, you will hear a candy doing a tornado alarm. And it is the funniest thing. Mimi just flies by a trailer truck. thing. Mimi just flies by a trailer truck. Okay, guys, I know that you're all dying for this. Let's talk to Portia about how she feels about Dennis. Can't wait. So Portia's in the car talking to Lauren on the phone. And Lauren is talking about her, how her marriage was miserable miserable too and she knows how much it sucks but it's also really hard doing everything alone. I'm like wow okay hang up on Lauren and call somebody to tell you to dump this asshole. Yeah exactly so Portia arrives at therapy and she's

like already very upset she's like man like if I have to wake up at like 11 a.m. to go to this therapy session this must mean that something serious is happening so she shows up and there's like already very upset. She's like, man, like if I have to wake up at like 11 a.m. to go to this therapy session, this must mean that something serious is happening. So she shows up and there's like another one of those like real songs playing where it's like, uh, life is hard. And then it like fades out and I was like, what's happening? I thought we were gonna get to see therapy,

but we weren't allowed to. Yeah, well, we get 35 minutes later and she's like, ah, like she comes out crying. And apparently Dennis, you know, she was saying, you better tell me the truth. You better tell me the truth. And then he told her the truth and she's like, how dare you? Yeah, which I don't blame her because the tree sucks because he's

fucking somebody else. Well, she was like, yeah, it's sucked. Well, sad. No, it sucks. It's hard because she sort of like knows it. But like this to hear the actual truth, it's like it's still can she's sort of like knows it but like this to hear the actual truth It's like it still can hit you like like a pile of bricks. So she She heads home and Lauren comes over and then there's like Crying and Portia basically said that like the therapy session started and like immediately Dennis just was was bawling and

And yeah, and he told her that he cheated et cetera and then Now she's basically saying that she's done. She's done with Dennis, which I don't think is true, because I'm pretty sure I saw on her Instagram a few months ago, like, love my dentist. Something like that. So we know this is gonna like, I think they're gonna ultimately get back together

unless I'm mistaken, and I'm too lazy to look on Instagram right now. Yeah, I don't, I'm portions one of those people where you know they call, I give them a couple of times on the phone crying about it, but then you have to just stop because you know this is her whole life now. It's gonna be calling and crying. Then we got back together and then they don't call you back. And then you know they call you back.

I'm sorry I haven't talked to you but you know things were I was just trying to work on my relationship and I'm so sad. Oh God I've been on that cycle so many times that I'm mad at Porsche for it and I don't even know Porsche. Yeah, there you go. Exactly. So that is the Atlanta episode. We'll be back tomorrow with some below deck. We have a new city to announce that we've never been to, okay? And once again, in case you missed it, we are covering Dallas this Friday in Indianapolis. We're covering Jersey for the early show in Chicago.

And for the late show, it's gonna be a classic New York episode, season six, episode 10. The one that's called Bon Voyage Ramona. We're really excited for some classic classic Ramona hysterics. So get your tickets for Indianapolis at Watchwrapins.com and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone! and Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watercraftens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.