Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Bae Area Bride

Episode Date: December 12, 2017

Real Housewives of Atlanta continues its tour of the Bay Area, and this week, it involves trolleys, Chinatown, Napa, and even a fake wedding to boot. Come join us for our recap of the episode! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens, would like to think it's premium sponsor! Can't have a burger without Megan Burg, Cindy Burgess Gerson, what an amazing person! Just saying, okay, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go HIGHLOW. And Kristi D'Aurry, the OG Prem-Supreme.

Plus our super premium sponsors, Kelly Grant, The Grant Master, and Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother fucks. Watch what crap ends, watch what crap ends. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? What happens? What happens? What happens when there's so much that happens?

What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hello, welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast that all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the Pantoblinder podcast. And joining me as always on this wonderful day is a man who always keeps his bun in order no matter what sort of fight he's having, it's Roni Karam from trashtalktv.com and the Roseprice Bachelor podcast, what's up Roni?

Messi Bun! Messi Bun, Ben, Messi Bun, Ben. How's it going? How are you doing? So good. I have today and tomorrow left in Austin. So I am in bed and my mom's guest room. Relaxing on a lovely fur pillow,

I'm not sure what kind of animal was murdered for this relaxing moment, but feels great. Yeah, that's good. You gotta say warm and cozy, because it's snowed there. Yeah, right? It's snowed, and then it was like 65 degrees the next day. You know, it's Texas. All right.

That's how is L.A. doing by the way? Because everyone's asking about those fires. And last time I was there, it looked like it got Bel Air and stopped at Beverly Hills. Is it still in L.A. proper? Or is it, you know, still just all over the rest of California? I mean, I don't, I don't even know to be honest. It's just a lot of fire. The sky has not been as brown and gross

as you would think it would be considering all the far fires, farce fires, but I would say everyone around me keeps sneezing. So I think there's definitely dust in the air, or ashes, or whatever. But for all the people locally who've been displaced, you know, our hearts are with you and stand strong and hopefully it'll be over soon.

It's just, it's just, we're not sure if that's right. We're not sure if we're gonna have to do that for another. No kidding, it's like this year of news, you know? Yeah, 2000. We're gonna go. Okay, so you walk outside, okay, Bella is burning to the ground,

so where you guys wanna go for dinner, like everybody's so traumatized, I think, by this point. We're just like, all right, okay, Bella, there's burning to the ground. So where you guys want to go for dinner, like everybody's so traumatized, I think, by this point. We're just like, all right, well, let me know if you need me to come pick up you, your kids, and all your belongings. All right, just give me a call. Yeah, there was a woman at Target today who was asking someone about a dog breeder.

She's like, well, I have been displaced from the ventrothires and I'm here, I need somewhere to take my dog to the groomer. And I was like, I was like, wow, it's crazy. It's like someone who's been displaced. And then I was like, that's very random. That's one of the priorities is getting the dog to the groomer. But I don't. Yeah, we love dog owners. Love their dog. You want to hear more about it? Go over and listen to the bonus episode. Today's all about dog love dog hate, emotional support animals. Yeah. My show here in Austin is Bobby Bender for my mom's ladies group yeah Mary to medicine Ben's birthday weekend it's a fun one yeah that'll be up either today or tomorrow but we know what we actually really want to open the

show with this and really fun stuff which is that on Friday, all these tickets first, so many shows of ours went on sale. And it was awesome. First of all, we sold out the Barry Ballroom in six hours, which is madness. I thought that was going to take a few weeks. I really was like, okay, here we go. Let's see, who's going to come to this. Tickets went on sale at 8 a.m. hour time and by 2.30 p.m., the entire battery volume was sold out. It's gonna be our biggest venue yet. So to everyone coming to that show, we are really excited to see

what it's gonna be like to play to nearly 600 people. This is, oh my God, we're pooping our pants. We're so scared of our pants. We also sold out. I'm scared. We also sold out our second DC show. DC is wow they really brought their a game to their ticket buying Yes, they really

Would DC they were like come to DC. We swear we will buy tickets and they lived up to it They are they really killed it so both DC's DC shows are sold out. We will not be adding another one. I'm sorry to say also Both DC shows are sold out. We will not be adding another one, I'm sorry to say. Also, Boston, the second Boston show is selling well, but it is not sold out yet. And Chicago, for the early show in Chicago, I think there's like 30 tickets left. And then the late show, I think there's 80 or 100 left. But those are well on its way.

And we still have Houston We have our Detroit show. We already sold out a quarter of that that theater. So you guys just go buy those tickets buy them tickets Because we're gonna we're we're having fun doing these these live shows and we want oh my god We're having so much fun and also the Houston show my mom and dad are coming my sister her brother my mom and dad are coming, my sister, her brother, Jenna, her husband, a ton of my mom's friends. Wow. And my mom, the Tonta doll has been lost. Okay. That one can find the Tonta doll.

Everyone is freaking out. So all the Canastal ladies are coming together to make a new Tonta doll. No. Just for watching. Right. And it will be at the Houston show. I'm not sure how in love with this Tonta, I'm going to be. So we might raffle it off be at the Houston show. I'm not sure how in love with this tone time going to be. So we might raffle it off over Houston.

I might just keep it. I don't know. I don't know yet, but we'll all have a taunta doll to make fun of during the show and call a dumb bitch when she gets her cues wrong on the crap as well. Don't ask stupid don't that you can live on that. Oh my gosh. Stupid. Yeah, I'm really excited for the Houston show because I kind of feel like Houston is is I Feel like it's the um the the the what's your name? I must say Jane. It's not the Lizzie Bennett

You know the one that the daughter who's like smart and intelligent and wonderful But it's the the older sister elder sister who gets all the attention And then the younger sisters, you know like and but Lizzie Bennett is really great in her own way and I feel like Austin Austin is a slutty hippie one Yeah, I just like oh look I got more attention because I wrote a song on a man to land and I'm pregnant You know in a flip flop and I feel like, you know, here we are talking about how Barry Barberms can be our biggest show yet. Well our second biggest show ever is going to be Houston. That's the really big venue also.

And so I feel like it is going to be a partay people. Yeah, I think, you know, should we, I feel like we should do the dinner party from hell at Houston. The real house was a Beverly Hills dinner party from hell, recap. Oh my god, I would love that. Let's do it. Okay. So we're going to do that. So we're sweetening the Houston deal because we decide that Houston needs some love.

And the real house for our Houston show, which is on March 9th, we will be recapping Allison Dubois on the housewives, on the dinner party from Hell episode, from season one of Beverly Hills. Okay, it's a fish. It's a fish, Ted's a fish, guys. It's officially a fish, so get your fish. Yeah. But today, we're not here to talk about Houston.

We're here to talk about Atlanta. Now Atlanta, I told my mom, you should watch it because we'd been out drinking. And I was like, you should watch it, it's fun. You like top chef. And she's like, I, these housewives, these fucking idiots on these shows, I got grumbled, grumbled. And I was like, yes, you're correct.

So right when it started, I thought, oh no, what an episode to bring her in on. Because it's like in the middle of a fight going into another fight. She took five minutes and she's like, I'm not doing this to myself. And she went to bed. Now, I have a lot in common with my mother, but it distaste for the real house. So I was just not one of them. I was enthralled and in love this entire episode.

Well, you know, you should consider yourself, consider yourself lucky because back in April or so when I was at home in New York, my dad walked in when I was watching Atlanta and he walked in in the famous episode slash confrontation of candy. I meant Porsche accusing candy of having a sex dungeon and then when they were like, you want to go down on me. Now you wanted to eat me out and my dad was like what are you watching but he was laughing though so he got Well this one open well first they showed the stuff from last week and they showed Marlo fixing that bun on me He said which was a little and my mom was like what is that I said it's her bun. She said what the hell's happening to it

I said she's fighting mom is like sports That's her coach Marlo and she's coming in to fix the bun and my mom was like, oh my god, don't they have Bobby pins? Like mom, stop asking questions. So also I started laughing and cheering and she said, why are you cheering now? Like it just started and I said because I love that no

matter what's going on. It could be like a nuclear war outside. OK, it could be torn feathering a witch. Like it could be any dramatic thing and Candy will always be eating in the middle of it They just show it close up of candy just jumping down on something whilst you watch this as fight So good, you know as I mentioned in the bonus episode I went to the Rose Bowl flea market yesterday and someone was playing a harmonica and I was like that harmonica sounds like candy burrs It was like I was like, that harmonica sounds like Candy Burris. It was like, it was like,

ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, because they weren't really playing it well. It was like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh That's funny because I've heard a kazee that sounded like Riley song. BADERLATE THE NEVER BADERLATE THE NEVER Alright, Siri, stop singing. Be quiet, okay. I like to play Better Late Than Never by Candy Burst's Daughter. So this is the UR Fight, which,ini, this continuing from last week, where Nini is just

saying, you are basically to whatever Porsche says. And then Porsche did something really interesting and then switched it around to UR Nini. So now they're just both UR and each other and it's so good. It's basically this. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You shouldn't even be here. You shouldn't even be here. It's basically this

You shouldn't even be here you shouldn't even be here bitch. I started this like I started housewives Yeah, that's what needy is sort of like land on was this proclamation like bitch I started this cuz her voice got like real deep and raspberries like I started this shit I started this shit. I'm like what are you talking about Neenie? What literally what are you talking about? I start charity it's begging Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Plum, Pl I'm trying to concentrate on my next wacky costume for tomorrow. I'm trying to think about a word. I can't. A sash, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a Um, that's where I'm starting, okay? I need silence until I put the rest of it together in my head, okay? So the best is they like Yankee, Nini away from the table and like pull her over to the elevator and she's still screaming at Porsche.

Just saying stuff like, bitch, I started this shit. I started this shit, you know, whatever. Like you would be nowhere without me, stuff like that. And the elevator door opens and these two girls holding Marchinis. And you could you could tell they had no idea what was going on because their faces were blurred out. They didn't even sign the release. They're like, we're getting out of here. They're like, what could you imagine opening up your elevator door and there's Nini leaks screaming at someone lost in the abali's like, Ciao, come down.

And then you've got Porsche Nini is like, I started there. I start charities, Megan, bloop. And then Porsche goes, why am I here then? Why am I here? Why am I here then? I'm like, I don't know, but that question has nothing to do with the statement. I started this. I think that Porsche was just having a coincidental existential crisis. Why am I here then. Where am I hitting? Where am I hitting? Um, and then, so then of course, Nini does this thing, which I find to be a little annoying and disingenuous, which is that she tries to wrap up her argument with,

I'm at it you, Porsche, because you came for candy, and she had your back, she had your mother fucking badge, you're wrong for that. I'm like, no, Nini, you're being petty, and don't try to somehow take a moral high road by fighting Candie's fight, defending Candie. You're just being petty right now. Neenie just seems like she's on something.

I don't even know what she's talking about. I don't even think she knows what she's talking about. I think she's just yelling at this point, random things because she just kept going. She had your mother fucking back bitch. She's the bitch. She's the thing, don't elevate her bitch elevator open bitch open close he won bitch and then she goes I closed

does close does close I have to really work on mine I don't think I have anything even close to an any voice well nini yells way more than I even do and I don't know I don't really have a nini voice either mostly just because I I do voices for people to actually enjoy and I just can't with her Like I'm just not enjoying her and she goes yeah My mom goes well she forgot to say bitch after that one. How's anybody gonna know what she's talking about? Sadie Told you it's like a walkie-talkie like bitch. This is me me bitch bitch. Here you mean me. I'm here to bitch Well, well, Nina goes down the elevator and Porsche's love for just charay and she starts to cry and she's like

What's wrong? You got feelings? You crying you crying right now? It's okay. It's okay to cry. So you don't get to be the self-help guru when you're the one who started all this, okay? So right. And Porsche, I mean, Porsche was just sad. She was, you know, I mean, I'm such a sucker for this sort of bullshit,

because you know, Porsche was really fucked up last season and she really shat her own bed. But she's like, you know like you know you know like you know it really sucks when you get to fight with someone and the entire table leaves with the other person like they just want to break me down and it's working and I was like I was feeling bad for Portia and I'm like I know I shouldn't like I know she's just you know doing the typical thing that people do when they get in trouble and then they sort of have to deal with their consequences but I kind of I that does suck it does suck when you have someone like Neenie

just starts yelling at you. And Neenie's being totally rational. They have a stupid ass fight. And then everyone needs with her. And you're just left behind with Shiree as Shiree shovels everything into a doggy bag. Yeah, Shiree is like whipping out all that temper where she brought in her purse.

Yeah. Yeah, it was sad, but you see the look on everyone else's face who were stuck with meanie. They're all looking at each other like what are we doing on meanie side stuck in a salivator with this crazy bitch screaming bitch. Yeah, like what are we no one knows quite what they're doing or why they're on what side they're on, but no one's comfortable on their inside. No one was actually handy. Candy is like you got you got you got a you got a pastry you got a pastry and then Porsche's like well we're at dinner in the

whole table these and with the one person yelling at me and I know it's victim but I don't want to be broke down it's not healthy for what I want to accomplish I'm a baby vegan. I hope this doesn't make you eat me. You're supposed to lift up Porsche guys. Yeah. She's like, she's like the last, last part I even had was a piece of bacon this morning. Wait, I thought you just was vegan. Yeah, but it's vegan bacon. It's just only pork. What? So meanwhile, Candy is pissed she's like Save now, right and y'all made us leave before our food came.

It's not right now. I love Candy's issues always like you interrupted the meal. Why couldn't you fought like afterwards after we had our food? I know Candy's like see. I left a roll in the basket. So now I was just about to blow my bread because they only gave me olive oil and I really wanted butter and I said could I please have some butter and they finally brought the butter out and then we got to leave a fine butter but bread. Really. That gave me a little bite and I said what's this?

Bradie. That gave me a little bit and I said, what's this? And they said, Oh, I'm sorry. I love all of us. I don't need none. Do I want none? Now, Candy is never going to forgive a composure because she left a bread, you know, a bread thing on the table when the fight got too bad. Never. The final straw, the final straw was fight got too bad. Yeah. Never give me the final straw. The final straw was a delicious sourdough roll. Yeah. You can call me. You can call me a rapist, but do not take my sourdough roll, man.

Leave no bun behind. So the meeting starts. Yeah. No, you can do it. You had a nice, you had a nice, well, nice white cup. You had a nice one. I just love how they kept cutting back.

Because Porsche is like, if you're supposed to be my big sister Why would you do a smear campaign against me? Where's my So candy mean he's like, She said, Bitch, you want to get me fired? I never said that a collar asked and I said, And then it shows the clip. Freak.

What-what did she say? It's what they brought. I'm surprised I even memorized it at this point because I show it at the 7-minute mark of every episode. She goes, Freak and fraud. Like I ripped those two. Fra-

Yeah. My Mimi. And that's you saying they should be fired. someone calls and says who should be fired like I understand I actually understand what Neenie was saying like listen They just ask me like if you had to get rid of anyone who would you get rid of and she's like freaking fraud But she wasn't like well I like everyone But if I had to get rid of two maybe freakin fraud she was like oh get rid of them. They are bringing the show down It was you know like you're not like miss innocent Neenie. And then she does her whole just

repeating things over and over so until people agree with her. She's like, she's making you seem like I went all out saying fire, polsa, fire, polsa, fire, polsa. By the way, I would like to thank the one person out there who got my Claude or joke From Game of Thrones last week. Thank you very much and thank you for the image that you made me of Nini in Game of Thrones Yes I did not get the joke, but I now know exactly what happens to Hodor don't tell I don't tell exactly Hodor is the new game of grunt. I he wins the game of Thoron's, okay. He's the new king, okay.

That's a spoiler. Sorry, everything. So, but the thing is with Neenie is that now she's, again, she's fired up and she's saying, she's talking about Portia and she's saying, you know, the biggest issue is that she just doesn't admit to anything. I'm like, you know, Neenie, if there's one person

who can never say that, it's you. You are the biggest non-admitter of anything. Every single season, there's one person who can never say that, it's you. You are the biggest non-admitter of anything. Every single season, there's some stupid shit that someone calls you on and you explode, and then you use that for the rest of the season to be angry at them. And that's bullshit, Neena. You gotta get it together. Yes, and then of course, Kenya is jumping right on the bandwagon.

She's like, Well, according to her She never even did anything wrong and I was like shut up. Can you know? No? No, no she's not jumping on the bandwagon She is fanning the flames because she has playing the long game against Portia She has seasoned after season. She has been chipping away at Portia ever since she was called Miss America instead of Miss USA Yes, she'll never forget it. And so I'm screaming, as I always do, as I watch this show,

shut up, Kenya. Look, I'm yelling at the TV. And my mom goes, well, I don't know why you don't like her, but I can't tell you this. She's only wearing makeup on one of her boobs. She goes, why wouldn't she wear makeup on both of her boobs? Go back and look, rewind it. Why aren't you looking?

Go back and rewind it. I was like, mom, I've had enough of Ginius boobs, okay? But noted, I put it in my notes, okay? Just like, I'm going to bed. Okay. Well, I'm glad you made your final statement of the day about Ginius uneven boobs makeup. Have a great sleep.

Well, I think it's a pretty, I think it's a pretty uh... i think it's a valid comment i think it's worth worthy of watch our crap and i think uh... we have pointed out far far less significant far more insignificant significant details so i i will go back and i will look for that uneven boob makeup and i will i will report back verdict. Do, and when you've got it, text my mom and tell her that she was right because she's only going to let it go once you've told her she's right. Otherwise, for the next two days, she's going to be like, did you rewind it? Did you see what I was talking about about the boob makeup? Well, maybe.

Did you see it? Well, maybe Mark does not allow Kenya to wear a boot makeup on both boobs. She's like, well, he likes a strong woman. And he's going to tell me which makeup to put my, which boot to put my makeup on strongly because he likes strong women. Yeah. So, um, so candy is, candy is, you know, they're all again, they're still all talking about Porsche and, and candy is like, you know, Hey, Porsche should have just admitted that she threw shade on They're all, again, they're still all talking about Porsche. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, She's so blindsided by this accusation is ridiculous to me.

I keep on saying it over and over again, but they keep on bringing up over and over again. Yeah, I just basically accepted Nini's a wrong cow and she's wrong about everything. And I'm not going to like her and I'm not allowed to turn her into a burger. So I just wait until she moves out of the goddamn street so I can keep driving her. You know what I mean? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Yeah, well you know Portia has the stronger observation, which is that Nini has fucked over Marlow, Candy, Kenya, Cynthia, and you know, like when is Nini gonna be held accountable for how she's done this to really all her friends? Yeah, and she's like, you know, now she's trying to start a bullying campaign. And these are, these people have said what porn should be in porn? And these are these people have said with Porsche for being Porsche Which I'm I'm just gonna keep forever in my heart because that's like the sweet Porsche. Yeah, it's just like she being Porsche. Don't hate the Porsche. Hate the Porsche. Hey, my you hate Porsche.

Um, but you know if you if you I'm surprised the women have really not put all those pieces together. I mean You go back. It's Kim, you know, Nini has fucked over Kim. She's fucked over Sharay She's fucked over Marlow. She's fucked over Candy. She's fucked over Kenya She's had a fight with every single person and in her mind she probably says well, I'm the queen They always come for the queen game of thrones, but really if you're having issues with all these people Game of Thrones, but really, if you're having issues with all these people, then S-R-N-Point you have to realize, maybe there's something that I'm doing that's causing this, and it's not just that you're too fabulous or too wonderful. Maybe you have problems.

Yeah, the only thing she's gotten common with the Queen from Game of Thrones is a really bad wig, okay? That's it, a really bad blonde wig that doesn't make any sense. Now, see, I didn't know there was a blonde queen. See, that's a split just kidding. Just kidding. They're all blonde on that show. You only have power.

It's just like modern times. It's like modern times in Texas. You have the most power when you're blonde. But also, Neenie, of course, they remember that Neenie fucked him over, but the squeaky wheel gets greased. And Neenie is nothing if not a squeaky wheel. But you know, I was thinking of that saying the other day because there's so many like texasie sayings like the squeaky wheel gets agrees or that girl is one kuku short of an est, you know, stuff like that.

And I was thinking, I was thinking, but the squeaky wheel needs grease, you know, so I don't really like that saying. How about if the squeaky wheel you know if the squeak how about it instead of greasing the squeaky wheel can we just replace the wheel get a real that doesn't squeak yeah how about just we get a hoverboard how about the future with no wheels yeah how about we listen to uh... michael j fox and just start writing around hoverboards and forget about wheels all

together quiet gentle hoverboards and forget about wheels all together. Quiet gentle hoverboards and only go. The hoverboard just it's not a squeaky wheel. It's just a gentle burr that causes mild attention. The squeaky rosy gets the grease. Thank you, Mr. Jet. So the um, so Nini is like, well, we're never going gonna be friends, but you know what, I'm okay with everyone. I'm fine with Porsche. Wait a minute.

Shut up, you get to like get it together. I'm sorry, this is, this is not, I'm sorry. Are you hearing my like ice coffee swish? Is that I'm really annoying? Yeah, oh, I'm sorry. No, I just heard the last ice, you know, crushy. Just pretend like I'm waiting through a pool of ice. I'm not drinking anything. I'm just merely walking to the microphone.

I'm in an icy pool. And this is just me. Over a hoverboard. The squeaky ice coffee gets the sip. The squeaky ice gets the bin. The amount of Foley that comes out of my side of the podcast is really unforgivable I should have more but you know I got those I got that mic where I have to be really far away I have to be really close for you to hear it. It's like if am I much louder now or right now? Oh before is your gain all the way down is that why I think my gain is up a little bit

So it's like picking up all sorts of different things like swirling ice in my Starbucks venting. Well, I'm on my travel mic. I'm not on my brand new mic setup that I have back home. I'm on my travel mic again, so I have my old one. So I can make all sorts of noise. And people just can't hear me. Yeah, like see what I just did. The raw stuff of a directional microphone. Yeah, I was just take I just did a time step right now and tap dance. No one heard it. No one heard it. Yeah, I was just take I just did a time step right now and tap dance. No one heard it. No one heard him. Yeah, and yet I'll be enough. Dom is giving you low eyelids there. He's it. No, I'm just kidding. He's not even here. I'm just so stupid. He just sends he's sent an amateurish tap step. Yeah, he's like wait a second. That was actually an out of time step. Any who so it's the next day at San Francisco, Francisco, and we see Cynthia with hanging out with Marlon

Shirei, and Portia is, they're just hanging out, and Portia is on the phone with her mom and talking about it the night before, and Portia's mom was like, well, as I don't like the way Neemee was talking to you and I will not talk about her in front of the group anymore. It's like, oooh. The unforeseeing repercussions of this feud. I love that no matter when Portia talks to her mom, she's like, hi mom, what are you doing?

She's like getting ready to go to a barbecue. Why is Portia's mom like living her best life? Every time Portia's mom is on screen or off, she's eating something or about to eat something fantastic. I know, I'm a little jealous. Me too, and she's always looking like gorgeous, and she's like eating back and cheese with her hands. I'm like, wait a second, this is just not a fair world.

She has like one of those, it's like, you know, when you go to the UPS store and you need to get like, need to get like styrofoam peanuts in your box. They hold the box into that That giant like plastic thing and the peanuts just fall out. That's like her with mac and cheese She just got one and just holds like a Tupperware under it. She shakes in mac and she just like globs out. She just lives a great life Her best life and she's like well I cannot believe that a woman at 50 years old would act like that towards a woman that she once called her baby sister. Like, have you seen how

Forza treats her own sister? Yeah. I cannot believe a woman at 50 would treat a woman who acts like she's 12 like that. I can't believe that. She should at least who acts like she's 12 like that. I can't believe she should at least treat her like she's 14 and tall enough to ride this ride. It's like, okay, thanks. Glad we called you, mom. Since she raised like, well, I'm nervous about today because my assignment is to do something for myself. So I thought maybe we should split up because that's for myself. Maybe I'll wear jogging pants.

Also, I hope Neen any as reinforced that button. She's brought some extra hair spray just in case. Yeah. She's brought some, she's brought a cult gun. I've never seen them. I've never honestly seen a more delicious bun than NEA's because every time they show that shot of it unfurling or every time I've seen a gif of it, it really makes me think of a cinnamon bun. It just looks delicious.

I just want to eat that bun off her head. Well, it's like someone's gonna try and make her likable. They're like, well, Neenie's still a cow, but remind people of cinnamon. I mean, I keep watching until next week. Just the way it was wrapped around was exactly like a cinnamon bun. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm just projecting a cinnamon bun on it. Cause I think we talked about that last week.

I know. I hated Neenie five minutes ago, but right now I feel like she's delicious. She's delicious. She's really able. Yeah. So she comes outside. She's been drinking already. She's like, hi, hi, hi.

And Porsche is like, oh, look, Martha's got crazy glasses. Mine are crazier. Like, okay, now we're going to be fighting with crazy sunglasses. She's got, like, I don't even know what Porsche's are doing. They look like some sort of steampunk binoculars that were like shaved off at the end and put on the glasses. It was like, it was crazy. Or like a Rococo. Like, she went into like the palace of of her side and then decided to like copy

Everything she saw every swirly Leaf she saw in the wall into her sunglasses Who told Was it porous chest she's like Candy that may help you onto the trolley. I'm gonna help candy because she's like door a girl And I didn't know what that meant door of the Explorer that may help you onto the trolley. I'm gonna help Candy, because she's like, Dora girl. And I didn't know what that meant. Dora the Explorer.

I don't, I seem to, I somehow missed that moment actually. I think I was still marveling in, in Portia's crazy sunglasses, which as you said, totally up stage Marlos crazy sunglasses. Yeah, there was, it was like a sunglasses fight.

And then Cynthia's like, well, there's a lot to see child Which is why I bought four different pairs of Cynthia Bay the eyewear Pieces she goes there's a lot to see child. It reminds me of New York in that way. I'm like, oh, yeah Most cities in fact She's like look has so many building it reminds me of New York in that way. I'm very excited I was speaking to the front desk and apparently there's a prison on a kitchen island. I would like to see that No, it's like where where is it?

Tyrone you got you got Tyrone you got Tyrone? You got her so Surrey is like well sister over there at the fisherman's wife and you got you can come to Chinatown with us to keep everybody from fighting. And so, Sere is like everyone's just sitting on this bus like a board with each other. Oh, the trolley, the trolley, the trolley, you have the trolley. And Sere is like, so, Kenya, how you feeling? Yes, and Shreys like so can you I feel it Thank you I think it's like thank you for asking I got the video today

It was edited for my grandma all that you see it like wow Let's raise the roof on this trolley hey Do you have an Apple TV so we can fling this video that can you hired the donkey booty producers to make up for grandma's like favorite moments from this universe. Look at it here, Kenya. Cindy was like, Chah, I don't mean to read on the parade here, but this is a little sad and I was just about to make a really hilarious comparison about how the sidewalks here are like sidewalks in New York because they're both fat and around builders. Wow, look at that. You have an iPhone with a video that you know, you know, that reminds me of the iPhone in Detroit right now.

That's right. iPhone I saw in Detroit. which is sad. And then Porsche starts to cry under her giant sunglasses. She has, it's like, she starts to wipe weight tears. Like you could hear like the creeks, the creeks and the groans of like the cables lifting up her sunglasses, like a set, like a backdrop and like a movie theater, so that we should get her finger under there. It's like, it's like the thing that knocks Brett Michaels over on the at the Grammy's one year. Yeah, Brett Michaels. It was like harder on Brett Michaels than diabetes Well, he got a stroke. It calls like a blood clot that causing that a stroke So my god, I take it back take it back. It was so much you make that mean joke about my My goals for anything out there is crying right now about my goals telling my said diabetes, okay?

Just remember every rose does have a thorn diabetes okay Just remember every rose does have a thorn every rose has to diabetes. Yeah, so Of course, it's like oh my god I am crying because this really hits home because one time I had an uncle to Wait a minute you're stretching okay, she's like we both know people who who could have been on Apple TV if this trolley had right and we just can't get past the bowl yeah so she goes she like scurries off to the back of the trolley and so then Cynthia is like child let me go with you so she goes to the back and she's like child what's going on she's like oh well I'm just a little scared because you know it's a trolley and I don't want people to troll me like child. It's a trolley not a trolley. Oh

She doesn't want to be bullied on the trolley I'm doing the trolley in campaign and then it's the trolley campaign You know if someone is giving upset including Porsche You know, I have to help them because I'm bigger than all of this now Porsche have you tried these semi tinted A-V-A-T-S That the the Bailey hour listen listen Porsche's feeling sad and I'm not chatt I'm not one to kick someone while they're down I wait for them to be on top of me So Cynthia is like, um, well, oh wait, so she goes first of all, and he's like, uh, you

know, of course, and Candy's like, no, it's everything's good. Charlie. See? No, Charlie. Like, what's up? She's like, it's a lot. And Candy's like, I can't candy because I guess she's emotional about something See? No, she doesn't deal well with hills. Yeah, it's a lot taken because like I had an uncle and now we're going down

The street that goes left and right and left and right and left and right like what's her city is this? I don't want to be as white asz and lands like we're in San Francisco Portia like Portia has no idea where she is so they need she's in the Alps these hills and he's like it's because you guys aren't talking to her and then he goes okay now wait a second glasses that was amazing it's in like see that's the needy I like thank you. Neenie is back. So I guess maybe at like low altitudes, she's annoying, but at high altitudes, on a trolley, she's hilarious. If Neenie didn't feel the need to just be a mean, mean, awful human being,

she'd be fine. Because I think a lot of the time she's being mean, she's just doing it because she feels like she has to be. And that was never what made her fun. I mean, yes, watching people fight on these shows can be fun, obviously, but it's never what made Nene fun. Nene was always funny before she fought, you know? I think that she's in, I think she's actually massively insecure and she feels very threatened about her place in life. And I think that, you know, she's afraid,

she's gonna lose it all at any moment. And so anytime she perceives someone coming for her, she's just gonna go back a thousand times, even if it's a rash, even if it doesn't make sense. And I think she also thinks, oh this is what makes for good TV, so it's good that I do this. And as a result, we just see someone who is so funny

and so charismatic who then teeters into like dark bitterness, that's just not as entertaining. It's just, it's not like when shit, the fact that she is still screaming at Porosha over some bullshit, petty shit, like involving things they said on dish nation and watch what happens, it's so stupid that it's not and it's not fun stupid That's like how am I supposed to how am I supposed to get behind this lady right now, you know And by the way, yes just real real quickly. I loved how charay like the night before was like oh Well if I had known that this argument would turn out this way. I never would have brought it up. I'm like yeah right charay. Yeah, right

Yeah, right like you didn't know it was going to happen that way. Sharay is like, what did I do? Yeah. That you got sourdough. You got sourdough. Candy's like, no, candy sucks. Still man. So Cynthia is going to get in trouble. Cynthia is going to get in trouble now because Cynthia's telling, um, Porsche, she's like, look, Porsche, I get it because everybody's been this, been through this with Neenie. I've been through with it. And then they showed the clip of Neenie on

Watch what happens or reunion or something being like, there's watch what happens. Well, again, she's like, yeah, she's like, well, Cynthia doesn't bring anything to the show. She's boring, you know, and she's like, and here's what you have to do to get over it. You know, you just have to basically let her have her way and then tell her she's correct. And that's I was like, that sounds like a great friendship. But that's how you that's how you get along. She goes, what she needs you to say is, you know, you hear her and then she has to receive you. It's like shut up Cynthia. Okay, you sold one pair

of sunglasses, okay? Thank you for making a fucking effort. So then, Nini, she raised like, well, you should be nice because you can't about each other. And Nini's like, I care. She didn't even care enough to help me. Come on.

So let's just get to the fisherman's worth. Because Shrekas, look, Shrekas, look, looks like we're coming to the fisherman who are. Is that so funny? Portia like dives down under the trolley like incoming. No, it's not a fisherman war. It's a fisherman was. I hate snow white.

No, it's not the fisherman's seven dwarfs. I did not support this worth i did not support this listen how we are saying is give peace a chance but i bought a condom no it's not fishermen warts it's i think prostitution should be legal. No, it's not Fishman Hawks. So let's see so it's basically like well, I'm ready to go because I got the opportunity to talk to Portia child and New knees all mad and Marla goes you flip flopper I don't know I actually thought it was a really cute moment because Cynthia's like well I was going to Chinatown because I wanted to have some like one-on-one

time with Portia, but I already filmed that scene, and I just really want to go to Fisherman's Wharf. That's what she said. She was like, I just want to go to Fisherman's Wharf. I don't know if I'm going to have to think that was really cute. She just wants to go get Chachke's and have like some middling chatter or whatever. Yeah. So they're standing in front of alcatraz and you know, so Siree's like blowing kisses across the water. Blowing kisses in the wind. And they get some pictures taken and then over in Chinatown, Siree, Marlowe and Porsche are together and she and Porsche goes, I love Chinatown.

I step off the trolley woods and I say wow now I'm in Tokyo. Oh my god. Which we know is a suburb of Costa Rica which as we also know is a city in Mexico. Which you have to travel through a wardrobe to get to. Okay we all got it. Fisherman's wardrobe. So they go to one of those places is doing like the Chinese letter, the Chinese lettering with those pretty pins because I can make fun of an ignorant ass portion, but I'm an ignorant ass ronville. Okay. And she's like, I want to wear my own own message something sexy

My god Can you get this up to jail? And then meanwhile over in Fisherman's Wharf Neenie and and Who is there as Neenie and candy and Cynthia was it and Kenya? I think they start talking about Sheree's man and they're like, and Neenie's actually met Sheree's man and Neenie's like, yeah, he's a con artist and I was like, wow, that is shocking. Not that he's a con artist, but that Neenie said it so calmly because I would think that

she'd be like, he is a con artist. She's like, oh yeah, he's a con artist. I was like, whoa. Yeah, she said it in that like, he's a con artist and looks down at her. Yeah. I was like, as Neenie being conversational, like not being like, like doing like, yeah, drag talk. Yeah. Neenie's not yelling. She's like, he is a beef of blow job 27. Okay. Drag queen big go. So Neenie's like, well, she raised tasting men is confusing. But if she's found in love with a prison baby, I'm all the way there for her.

And so, Candy's like, so you know this man, she's like, well, I met him before she did. What was he doing? He was a con artist, and they can't even look so uncomfortable with that. She's like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm on Mimi's side Please make this stop. I'm not used to feeling uncomfortable. And so can he's like, well, did he come you? And Nini goes, I'm too smart for that Well, it means to be seen. I like that Kenya was like well well, you know, Shirei is safe because, you know, that shout out Shirei isn't even under her name. We don't even know whose name that's under.

So he won't be able to count anyone out of that. Yeah, she's like, don't tell Tyrone Velma's name, you know. So Shirei is back up with Shirei and Marlowe. Shirei is like, let's just tell him. This is her. Marlowe, like, let's just have a party. Yeah. They decided they wanted to do something fun to cheer up Kenya since she's playing a little blue these days.

So Marlo comes up with the idea of a totally spontaneous idea of, hey, let's do a wedding ceremony, you know, since none of us want the wedding, let's do like a funny wedding. Like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Let's shop for trinkets. So they start like, we're just like, we're just like, that could be a double-edged sword. On one hand, she could kill us, and on the other hand, maybe she could get some cheese. And on the other sword, maybe she could come on bakeloping, but with the other sword, maybe she could stick it through the top of a club sandwich and little stay together So they're shopping for trinkets and there's just like this very little scene that I really enjoyed

It's not barely even a scene where they go to some place in Chinatown and Porsche asks for something from the cashier or clerk the guy working at the store and he like doesn't speak English And she has a look on her face. She watched someone get murdered. She's like, what? languages Yeah, so good. She's saying now I'm gonna spangles She goes on too. She goes what you got for us And he just looks at her and Marlowe's like, he doesn't speak English.

Maybe he was just shocked by Marlowe's gold skirt, crazy glasses, prada bag, and weird sweatshirt, which I'm sure all were like designer and cost thousands of dollars, but put together, it was like a strange, like hipster fail. Yeah, day madness huge in Chinatown, huge. He's like peeing himself. He's like I cannot speak. So at nighttime Cynthia is holding Kenya upstairs for this big surprise, you know. And Marla has found the wedding location, which is just a room in the hotel. It's like a ballroom in the hotel, you know.

But Neenie has entered, wait, who entered? Oh, Porsche brought all the queens, right? Yeah, so basically, they're all arriving in the conference room. And first, Candy shows, it's like, I think it's, Candy's there, maybe Neenie. Some, pretty much everyone there is except for Porsche, Kenya, and Cynthia. And Candy's there, and they tell Candy that, I think Marlow tells Candy that Marcus coming to the fake wedding. And Candy's there. They tell Candy that, I think Marlowe tells Candy that Marcus coming to the fake wedding and Candy's like,

what? No, really? Say it that way, because you're like oh, drama, don't need none but see that. He Marcus coming. And so she's like, Candy is like fully convinced and she has that look on her face where her eyes are big and her mouth

is just in that big smile like. Heeey. Heeey. Heeey. that look on her face where her eyes are big and her mouth is just in that big smile like and then Marlowe's her bowling ball glitter eyelids too. Yeah she could not she was like she choose like about to shit herself but then Marlowe like basically reveals that they have this giant cut out of Mark flat Mark and again it's like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh can you say Me maybe go I like that that flat mark like flat Stanley You just dress them up and have your nieces take them all over the world with them for pictures. Yeah, but Neenie's like He's flat man. Yeah, because his hands were choked up inside and actually Portia was there my fault and and he like flat flat Mark falls over one point She goes what is wrong with him I'm sorry to guys he has a weak back child And he's like my wedding gift to miss daily, which is Kenya is to is to put my different tincting to the sad.

I was like, I'm not totally sure what that means, but I think she's talking about Portia. Yeah, I'm gonna just guess that she's talking about Portia there. So then at this point, Portia then opens up a side door, and this is by the way a very low-rent party. It's like fluorescent lighting. I mean, this is where previously it was clearly like a, I don't know what meeting took place there, but it was... It was clearly like a... Maybe a small session for like, math tutors or whatever. So they're in there?

Yeah, there's still like, paper plates all over the chairs from the Continental Breakfast. Yeah. So, Portia opens up a door and like, 12 or 15 gay guys come in and I was like, oh my god, it's like the never forget white party gays and gals and seafood suara sponsored by Pontiac party all over again. Mimi is like, where's the shrimp? Where's the shrimp? Yeah, of course, it's like I was in the trolley

and then we clank, clank, clank and then all these gay guys got on, We're so lucky. So, um, so can you have these guys? These guys were hilarious, okay? Because they are so like the stereotypical. It was like a sketch where a bunch of people were playing gay people, you know, exactly. It was. It was.

This is like the sound of all of them. Yeah, it's everything. But I stopped off. Like, it was very, very smart. It was very smart. It all of them. Yeah, it's everything. But stop off. Like, well, it's very Christmas work. It's everything. Yeah. And they were all holding these paper devs that somebody made them.

But they were holding them with their pinkies all out. You know, like when you, when fancy people take a drink from a cup, their pinkies, every single one of them was out while they held the thing. I was like, oh my god. And there was one guy. There was one guy who was up at the altar. I don't remember what he was wearing. It was like a red t-shirt of some sort, but I don't remember specifically what it was, but to me, a reminder me of like

when you see someone wearing like a Tasmanian devil t-shirt, you know, and like at one point they told him to like shut up and he was like, oh, he like snapped into place. So Kenya decided she's just going to have a good attitude about it because she was the one who threw the divorce party for Fadre last year. Which sent Fadre over the edge. She's like that whore. Kenya had there. She's the one who tried to hoard up with my husband in a hot tub in Chile, but he had

an old. my husband in a hot tub in Chile, or piano. Or we have to. Yeah, so Kenya shows up and and Candy's like, here comes the bride, here comes the bride, here comes a singer, bride. I love that Candy didn't even bother googling the lyrics

to hear she's going to cry. Yeah, she's going to say it over over again. She didn't even do all dressing white. She's like, yeah, come to the bride. She comes the bride. I don't get enough money to sing the rest of the lyrics, Brad. See? So let's see. Candy's like, I'm not understanding her process. Wait, what did she say? She said something like she's like, I don't understand We can't meet the real mark daily. I'm not understanding her process right now

So they have the whole wedding and then afterwards they're like, okay, Gays you can leave so I think like, yeah, it's everything. I step off shady, shady, trade. Bye. So then Portia pulls Candy aside and apologizes again. It's basically like, I know you're not feeling me, but I just want to apologize again. And you know, I want to think it'd be cool. And Candy is like, no, look at that. Just want to be fun. Like I just want to be in a room and it was everything's fine as far as I'm just like, okay Thanks, and then Portia walks away and candy does like this big ol' eye flare like My fingers look rustin' off

I'm texting myself Fingers behind my back. She's cheap wing whenever candy gets mad She like rolls her eyes and then starts just swiping at her phone. Yeah. Yeah, Portia, I think that still does not realize that once candy writes you off, you were written off. Like candy is done with Portia, like it is over. Yeah. Well, she feels like I wronged her and I want to take the count of bill at least. I'm going to count ability, the lily, the accountability. It's okay, can be she's like Thinking she's gotten accounting degree now

I gotta see be K. No, that's CBA C. B. K. is a restaurant. Oh, I love pizza can't she? Sorry, so let's see no, no, it's okay. So that's good to use ice noise. So now they're going to the train to go to Napa. So they have to take like a train and then a bus. And for she goes, so wait, what are we going to do? She goes, well, we're going to go to Napa. And we're going to do it on a, how on a train? And we Porsche's like, wait, then we got to go someplace from a train. Well, then she was confused because they were taking the van up to the train because Napa has this famous wine train as seen on top chef, whatever season that was. And so she was just confused by that. And I mean, while was distracted because Cynthia was wearing her a big yellow caftan, once

again, proving the theory right that she only wears beachwear Yes, and a different pair of sunglasses again. Yeah, she's ridiculous I it's like she's the entire gas station display case. I also like they can't even Can you is like well at least she knows it's not the underground railroad So Porsche is like well she knows is not the underground railroad. So Porsche is like, well, I went Pp before the train. And so of course, I got stuck in front of me and Kenya. Yay. So she's trying to be really nice. Like she's trying to start small time. Kenya and Candy. Yeah. Yeah, Keny and Candy. Sorry. And she's like, oh, the waiter

comes over and she goes, do you have baby vegan options? like, oh, the waiter comes over and she goes, do you have baby vegan options? Yeah. And the waiter's like, of course we do. And Keny goes, how long are you gonna try to be vegan? And she goes, three weeks. And Keny goes, how long you give it? Keny, and Keny goes, three weeks.

Keny goes, well, see now. You you lose looking a little chunkier on the earth of second safe now vegan Yeah, what's the fuck's going on with candy like now she's just being me. I don't like when can't I like when candy's above it I don't like what she's a bitch because for sure cuz well you know guys. I was 175 Candy cuz yeah, you was getting kind of junky there I was 175. I can't because yeah, you was getting kind of chunky there. Okay. Or just like, you're right. Okay, I have to brisket please.

I'm like, it's not vegan. But it's available. Brisket's brisket. I only have the eat grass. So, Kenya's like, well, glad you guys brought it up, because my husband likes curves. So Kenya's like, well, glad you guys brought it up. Because my husband likes curves. But you know, he wants me tied, like to have curves, but also to be tied.

And he hates when I wear makeup. So I just put a little bit on now. Like a little bit, you're wearing like ring gutters on your eyelids, okay. Like he got humongous lashes. And she's like, and he loves a strong woman, but you know, he doesn't want me to be too strong,

because I have to catch myself sometimes. Like, am I being too strong? Because I cannot be an alpha woman. What the fuck has happened to Kenya? I know, because now she's talking about how he likes to say, like he'll, because he doesn't like it when she wears a lot of makeup, so he'll tell her, hey, can you tell, like, he'll tell her to take off the makeup. You're wearing too much, take it off.

And Kenya's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And I'm like, the Senate, the really cynical part of me is wondering if she's setting herself up to have some sort of storyline down the line where it's like, he was controlling me. I didn't even realize and now I'm liberated. Yes, so yes she is. That's what Kenya always does. She's done it with every boyfriend she's ever had on this show and she will be doing it with him. And there's a reason he wants to stay away, but you can't stay away because the more you stay away,

the more she paints you however she wants and it makes you have to be a monster when she's done with you. Fuck her. I found that with that Mark daily. So at the other booth on the train, Shreine, E. Marlowe and Cynthia are talking about Tyrone and they're like, so we hear he's a con artist and she's like, oh, he's not a con artist. He just is merely security fraud. Just security fraud. That's all.

Oh, only that. Okay okay never mind. Yeah, cuz me and he goes she goes well I do like my man, but he's incarcerated But when he was out we had a great run and me and he goes well he's gonna come out tricking Those stars he was drinking what? Trigger what she goes the stocks? You know like he was tricking when he went in and she's like, uh-huh No, no, no, no, no, who's on stocks? It's security stront and wire fraud Because my man knows how to work wire, okay wire froth and security stront tell your friends

You know, you know, I find you got a trick. Can't have a electric that why? He actually he stole someone's Wi-Fi Wi-Fi fraud. Oh, I do. Yeah, he like someone's wife. I that's it So mean he's like a con artist is a con artist. There's no cherry on top. He is in prison signing on to American online. Okay. So now what? So now Porsche is stuck along with Candy because Kenya, I think either Kenya went to the, I think Kenya went to the bathroom or something like that. But she either way, Porsche is talking to Candy and, and Porsche is asking about like escape

and Candy said, yeah, we were going on tour, we got through all this bullshit, but it's all good and Portia makes a joke like, oh good, I was hoping that we could make up because I was like, I want to go to that show and Candy's like, I'm not inviting your ass to my show. No, Portia, that's not the way it works. You do not get to come to escape. Oh, Mimi. Come here, come here. That's not the way it works. You do not get to come to escape

Mimi come here come here. So The like what did she say Marlowe's like what it was just say to you and can't be like well Sorry Like what I'm like, what? Train, ramen videos, auto parts, all right. Wait, can someone read boot candy? Like, snap her on the head. Okay, I'm plugger and Captain Dan.

That's my attempt to make the restart sound. So anyway, the earth, the earth is lighting up and down on here. That's not the end of it yet. Just wait for the earth to be solid green. Okay. So the ladies finally arrived at a place called Raymond vineyards. and there's this guy, I forgot his name Bob or something He greets him. He like runs the vineyard or something. He's like this flirty weird dude and Marlow has has now put on another pair of very crazy sunglasses Like well, I'm not gonna let Porsche out to me again today. I'm wearing some that look like a fun house with two holes in them Yeah, pretty much and he's like oh ladies. I'm so Tracted to your beauty

Jeuze on zone and these girls are not even gonna play with him Portia's like well no It's talking to me all scrunched some graces my feet slide to the side Roger rabbit Why'd you rabbit but the other ladies are like I'm not even getting in there and that looks disgusting and then Marla like deep-throated some grapes Yeah, that was crazy. He he literally like He had like it in a little bundle of grapes and he could use feeding the women grapes on this tour And he's feeding them like seductively and then he gives Marla He dangles the thing and Marlowe and she just literally

deep-throated the whole thing. To be fair I think Kenya or Nini someone like Push Marlowe's head into it also but it was like very intense and then after all this thirtiness she suddenly is like oh by the way I'm happily married and I have children and he's not even wearing a wedding ring and they're like what is up with this? Yeah so then they go house a wine and he's like oh you would love this wine It is made by John Legend Me and he's like well I'm not gonna blow give anybody a blow job for that. Yeah, she's like That wine is good. No, but I don't think I'm gonna be going on social media no time soon to ask if I can blow for a case of it

Who I can blow for a case of it? By the way, I also have to mention something that I thought was kind of crazy and was overlooked was before they started drinking the wine, because now it's nighttime, they all changed into different outfit, and Nini was wearing a top that had these long, tasselies, things, shoes, and she was shaking, and they're all shimmering,

it's sort of like a teen-aturner situation. And the guy goes, oh, I love those chains. And he goes and he swipes them. But he basically was swiping along by her breasts or her stomach. And I was like, that is gross and it's inappropriate. And I don't know whether he was hitting her boob. I know he wasn't, I know his whole thing was,

I'm hitting the chain, I'm not grouping you. But I was like, this is not the right climate to be having this moment. And I know it was thing was like, I'm hitting the chain, I'm not groping you, but I was like, this is not the right climate to be having this moment. And I know it was taped several months ago, but still it's like, ew. I was like, this is a weird moment, and I think it's strange that no one reacted to it. Yeah, I for one of them shocked, that John Pierre was inappropriate.

I just can't, I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you. So they have their wine and then they go back to the hotel and Barlow has arranged some kind of a dinner in like a wax museum. Where were they? It was all rare. They were at the vineyard. Oh, this is why they changed this is why she changed this why it needs wax museum. This is why they're talking about like the the John Legend shit. So yeah, so at this point Kenny has left because she has to go on a red eye for her grandma's memorial and So so they're all hanging out having dinner at this vineyard and they start talking about Ken just really shit with Mark and

The best part is because they're talking about Mark. He's anyone met Mark candy We learn that candy and Todd did like a dry buy of Mark's restaurants and they're saying all these comments about mark and every time they start talking about mark the the producers keep cutting away to flat marks sitting at the table. I was like this hilarious that flat mark is even there and be that they keep cutting to him as if he's reacting like what do you think the flat mark. Yeah so they immediately starts shit talking him and Marla's like loadststrick of vote. Well, Candy. Candy said something first, but then she was innocent later. I thought she said something like, oh,

an official that we can't meet. Mark and Marla's like, let's take a vote. Who thinks of non flat Mark is even real and Cynthia's like, I will not be part of this conversation about Kenya. And she goes to the bar and so, meaning he's like, what's wrong with her? Like they're not being mean at all.

But then Cynthia is sitting at the bar trying to pretend she's crying. Yeah. Cynthia, thank you for making an effort this year. But you were honestly much more entertaining with the leaf blower. Just go back to that. Yeah, please. Go back to that. Yeah, then Cynthia, you know, because Neenie goes out there, well, well, before even Neenie goes out there, she's,

Cynthia has this whole thing about how she doesn't want to hear people talk shit about Kenya. It's not right. She's her friend or whatever. And so they're all like, where'd Cynthia go? And Candy's like, see, nah, I like their friendship. And if she wants to support Kenya, let her support her. Because she got really high. Me. I like this. Let her support her. Which, by the way, I thought was a really nice thing

of Candie to say. She's basically like, listen, she's her friend. Don't try to turn them against each other. Like, just let her support her. She'll be back. Yeah, maybe it's like, I'll fight with you later in the season. For now, I'm going to go talk to stupid Cynthia. So since Cynthia's like, I just don't, I just don't want to talk about

Candy Child. And he needs like, but you cannot stop the women from talking about it. If they want to, everybody just wants to know why you are the one that was left out when you're supposed to be a friend. And Cynthia's like, you're right. Now I were the one that was left out when you're supposed to be a friend and synthy's like you're right Now I'm upset that I was left out. I'm not gonna lie now very upset and that entire wedding was about me Thank you for letting me cry at this bar. I mean the let's go back in yeah and Basically as the episode comes to a close Cynthia admits the group like I think on some level

I was really hurt that I wasn't invited and like I respect Kenya This is what you had to do to find happiness, but I was hurt. It's like done done done Cynthia was hurt Yeah, me Cynthia can say whatever she wants about me you hurting her feelings by saying she should get fired for being boring But at least Neenie's giving her a storyline so she can be less boring You see like we ended this by realizing Neen Mimi's a good friend after all. Oh, hey! And that was basically that. That was the episode. And there'll be more scandal and drama next week, I'm sure. The Jada. But until then, that was our episode.

But until then, that was hard. So, um, go buy tickets to our shows, our live shows, before they're gone. And tomorrow we'll be back to talk some Fander pump rules. EHA Mother Truckers, bye! Bye everyone! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.