Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Bridechilla

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

Porsha fights a broken system in this week's Real Housewife of Atlanta while Mike and Cynthia fight over their wedding date and Drew and Ralph fight over everything else. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Summer House season 5 trailer. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people lose their hands, they can't guess what happens, but there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapin'. So podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Browse. I'm Ronny Carrom, that's been Maddlegar over there, hopin'.

Hey Ronny, what's going on? Hi, you, hun. I'm good, I'm good, how are you? Good, okay, a couple things things everybody. Happy almost holidays. Happy holiday season. We did an epic three-part recap of holiday, a movie on Netflix with our friends over at 90-day gays. That is going to be released next week. Monday, Tuesday Tuesday and Wednesday. It's a three-parter It's also on crap and it's on demand if you want to watch the video Go sign up over at crap and it's on demand on patreon We also did a really long crazy real house was a Potomac recap

Earlier and that's also on crap and it's on demand because we wanted to go frame by frame of the fight So that's there We're also going to do a crossover with Kate Casey next week because we are taking next week off. So this is it for the week. This, the recaps this week, the six we have coming this week.

So we'll still be here for this and then we're on break and that's that. I think that's, oh, and we have the crap in slides. We have the crap in slides coming up. The crap awards. Yeah, the crap, we we have weapons life is coming up the crappy awards Yeah, the crack we're getting the crappies will be back in January We will have more information about the what when those are going when that our broadcast is gonna be

It's gonna be like when we did the Salt Lake City premiere. We had a really great time with on location live So we're gonna do that again with the crappies Which we think is gonna be really really, really, really fun, because for the first time, you don't have to be in Los Angeles to come to the crappies. So that's going to be super fun. We'll have more information about that when tickets go on sale, etc.

But in the meantime, the polls will be opening fingers crossed January 1st and we've got lots of fun categories. We're working on the nominees now, but already there's a lot of really good, a lot of really good, a lot of really good eligible moments for the crap is this year. So we always love having that. So just like stay tuned, we'll have details as soon as possible. If you're not following us on social media, give a follow to watch or crap and at watch or crap and on Instagram and at what crap and on Twitter because chances are we will be making the announcement on social

media. So yeah, we want everyone to be able to come to the crappies where it's I'm excited for it. Yeah, we're super psyched for that. And now, guess what we have? Real housewives of Atlanta. Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, going to be down. I'm like, so I'm just saying this right now, because I got, you know, when you get into an argument in your own head, like when you're in the shower, I got into one, like with, I got into an argument with Neenie leaks in my head, and I feel like bringing it to the podcast, which is like, no, Neenie, it's not because you're not here, that the ratings are down, the ratings are down because last season kind of sucked. And when you have a season that sucks, because of you, so when you have a season that sucks because of you. So when you have a season that sucks, ratings usually drop for the next season. So, ha!

God, I know. So take that. I know you know how when it comes voting time, you have really passionate people who are out there going door to door and getting their votes and doing whatever they can. That's how I feel about this. I just feel like calling everybody I know

and being like, please watch Atlanta, please. Do it for me. I actually am really enjoying the season. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. The first episode was very serious and important, but it was also pretty slow. And I think that also probably had an effect. But it was important stuff.

They had to talk about it and continue to talk about it. But now that we've actually gotten into the season, I'm actually like, I'm into it. I'm surprised how much I'm into it. Yeah, they're mixing like the very serious with the very fun. And I think, you know, people want to avoid the really serious stuff because we're all living in it, you know, they get spent a pretty traumatic year for a lot of people. And so we're still living it and people like, I don't want to watch it on TV.

I want housewas for escapeism. But guess what? Some things you cannot escape from. Like, really? Like, 2020. You're not escaping from 2020 and either are the real housewives. Exactly. And case in point, this episode opens up with, it's been 165 days since Breonna Taylor's

murder and nothing has been done. Imagine if you were your child, Portia Williams. So Portia is back in Kentucky fighting for justice. It's amazing. And she's saying that she just, you know, nothing's been done. So they're there to interrupt the community and remind them that Breonna Taylor has been killed and they want justice, you know. And they're, she's like feeling like this is her Selma moment or someone, she's, the people are saying this is like a Selma moment which connects her very much with her grandfather who was on the bridge in Salma. So that was very, very meaningful, meaningful way to open up this episode. Yes. And then she's arrested again. And she says that this more time, this time was more difficult because she had been arrested before. So this time they kept her there for a long time. Like she was one of the last people to be released.

this time they kept her there for a long time. Like she was one of the last people to be released. And she's like, you know, this is uncomfortable, but this is what we're doing. You know, this is what we're doing. Now it's our responsibility to be uncomfortable and confront that. Yeah. So then, you know, we go over to Kenya.

We go to Kenya's dogs playing on the bed or two time little dogs. Naturally. Maybe that's why people feel like it's weird with the house, so I've just done something really serious, because then inevitably, there's a really awkward transition from like, Kenya.

I'm sorry. So Kenya trying to figure out how to use a phone tripod. With Brandon, hey, baby. And then we go over to Marlow, who is, she's given Riley a graduation gift. It was like a camera. I was like, you need to have a camera on New York City. Yeah, Riley's like, yeah, well me and my roommate said that we would take pictures this year. So this is really cool. Okay, let's gonna help. Hi, I'm Kayla. Okay. Say cheese. What?

Say cheese. Hey, here you. What'd you say? Okay. Here you are. You say it. No, you say it. Click. Hey, you took the picture. You didn't say cheese. I'm like us in tolerant. Can you say something else? Tofu. Now, I don't know if we have a tie-in with Canon or what, but there's a lot of cameras in this episode. Because Riley gets one and then the toy-ass one later. Yeah, cameras.

So then Cynthia's at a bridal shop with Mal and speaking of which I am Mal, Hey, I'm Kayla, I am Raleigh. So we should take a picture now that we're all together. Okay, Mal. What we say cheese on three what? I am Mal you already said that part. I'm on my side. Wait, what Mike's not even here. It's in my heart. Is this truth or is this me cheese at the wedding? So, uh, yeah, so Mal's like, oh, hi, I'm Mal.

I was just like, okay, she's like, okay, so, uh, the guests are gonna be in black. The brile parts are gonna be in white, and Mike and I are gonna be wearing neither white or black. I'm like, okay, great, exciting, fine. Well, they're gonna be wearing silver and gold. Jail. So then we go to Drew, who's making pancakes with her kids and man, Drew and Ralph can't even get through pancake making

without fighting, okay? Yeah. Now Ralph is a giant asshole as we saw last week, but here's my suggestion, don't have three babies with a giant asshole. Let me tell you that this man did not just turn into a giant asshole recently. This is a well oil giant asshole.

Yeah, he's been this way since he was probably about eight years old. Okay, he is an asshole through and through. I know he's got big arms and an adorable smile, but he's an asshole. He's a huge asshole and he has a very large keyboard, which is like normal size for a keyboard, but I almost feel like he carries a keyboard around

to make himself feel like he has a bigger deepness. Like, you know, like people say that about sports cars, but like I think in a pandemic, since you really can't do the sports car flex as much, he's like, I'm gonna order a giant keyboard instead. Like you know that like, you know that like, I'm gonna order a giant keyboard instead. He's like, you know that like, you know that like, like, Joennette had like a perfectly fine sort of like mid-size,

like, Casio keyboard that she just used. Maybe she had a guitar and he's like, no, I'm gonna get an enormous keyboard, right? Yeah, I want a $10,000 gigantic keyboard. She's like, okay. So they're arguing because they're making, they're helping make pancakes. And so he puts two of the kids in the high chair,

but standing up and he's like, yeah, you can't do that. That's not safe. And he's like, come on. What are you saying here? It's like, oh, god. Am I the only parent here? He's like, oh, he's like, it's a platform. If he tries to climb off, then that's when they'll be an issue.

It's like, by the time the kid climbs off of that platform, he's fallen onto a stove top. Yeah. I think he is the pancake. Okay. And speaking of pancakes, we do have to discuss these pancakes. Can we discuss the pancakes? Sure.

Because 2020 has been a year in limited fashion. There was a lot of pancake discussion earlier this year on Real House, as a Potomac. And I'm surprised it has not been addressed on the reunion about who truly had the better pancakes. I will tell you, if Drew had submitted her pancakes in the running, she would, I mean, they were just a disappointment to the pancake nation.

They were like, did you see those pancakes? They were like little silver dollar pancakes, right? Were they like little pancakes? They were pale, they were pale. They were white. They were white pancakes that were like three inches tall. I'm like, what are you making English muffins? What pancake is this? Maybe they're healthy pancakes or something.

I was horrified. I'm trying not to concentrate on the pancakes because I've been gaining so much COVID weight that I'm like, don't look at the food and then you won't eat it. But then I looked out and I'm eating a stickers. I already made pancakes yesterday. So I was actually happy because I was pancake immune because I already had the pancakes

instead of creating new pancakes. So they are getting ready to practice for service because the mom's a preacher. So Drew's like, well, yeah, things between Ralph and I aren't great, but we decided to just table it, which we, that sounds healthy. Which we learned in this episode, they say about everything.

You know what, we're gonna table that. It's like they're gonna throw off a tampa. Let's put a pin in that. Let's put a pin in that. So you drove off to Tampa and then said, you just were going to the beach, but you went to Tampa, you went across state lines and we're missing for three days, but you also surveilled us the entire time. Let's just table that.

Let's table that. How big is this table? How big is this table that we're discussing? Is it made of reclaimed wood? Is this table tall enough for the kids to stand up on top of and almost kill themselves? Yeah. That's all this table. kids to stand up on top of and almost kill themselves. Yeah. That's all it's just David. Yeah. So the theme of Jeanette's sermons can be bridal your tongue.

And Ralph's like, well, why do you have to look at me when you say that? Why? And she's like, well, I had a discernment that some stuff was going on yesterday. And I came up here as someone who's quiet. And I try to be a person who doesn't take sides with anybody. And he's like, oh, really? You don't take sides. And she goes, listen, you I try to be a person who doesn't take sides with anybody. And he's like, oh really, you don't take sides. And she goes, listen, you want people to be

on your side all the time because, oh no, we need to talk. Because now here you are in my house writing a sermon just to get back at me. And she's like, I didn't say that. And he goes, yes, you said this with me in mind. Yeah, well, stop inspiring her. The thing is this, when you're a preacher, I feel like one of the perks is being able to do a passive aggressive sermon like that is like that's like one of the fun things Like oh you pissed me off. Guess what? I'm doing a sermon. I'm putting you on blast in front of everyone

So don't piss me off, you know now. I love a bitchy muse I mean one of the most famous ones is the Mona Lisa like she's like I'm just not gonna smile then fucking painter Yeah, go ahead paint me. Get back in me. You make a painting about how I never smile then and see how far that gets you. And then of course I ended up not going her way and then it became the most famous painting ever, but still I'm all for a passive aggressive, you know, muse. Yeah, I just think that Ralph is being so like, like, you can't be screaming at your wife who is upset because you disappeared for three days

and Jeanette stuck with her daughter who is panicked and she asked to kick into mom mode for her grown daughter. And then you then expect her not to somehow like have that impact her life and inspire her to wanna talk about certain things. It doesn't work that way Ralph. Yeah, if church was bitchy, I'd go every week. It's like, if you were dating Carrie Bradshaw, and then like you do something shady to her, don't be surprised when she writes about you in her column.

Yeah, you're like, I don't like being blind about what you're in the wrong house, sir. Yeah. You're literally with Carrie Bradshaw. So, uh, Drew's like, God, he's argumentative, and I just take all the accountability, and I'm really just tired, you know? And I have to remind myself why we came together in the forend his arms.

There they are. His arms there, there they are. Yeah, Drew's annoying because she makes excuses for Ralph, and she's like, you know, the way he talks is super straightforward, and sometimes my mom takes that as disrespect. I don't know, your mom is, your mom is like very direct too, okay? She understands being super straightforward so like don't make excuses and like gaslight of your mom or whatever.

He is disrespectful and he is straightforward with his disrespect. Yes, agree. To fight with your own mother, don't fight with my mother, okay? I fight with my mother. Okay, that's mine. Yeah. So then we go over to Kenya's house and she's like, Oh, look at me, Puffing Pillars and doing laundry.

Ha ha ha ha. I don't believe for one second that Kenya has been doing her own laundry. There I said it. Wow. I said it. I said it. I said it.

So she facetimes with Latoya and Latoya is struggling to park on the hill. It's like one of those things. Latoya is just being wacky. She's so confused with parking that she has to face time, Ken. But also, more manner is notoriously terrifying. Yeah. That's deep run down into the ditch. That's true.

So, yeah. So Latoya comes in. That's true. So, um, uh, yeah, so, so let's try out comes in. She's got a camera on like so we already know this could be a photo shoot of some sort and can you say how she has just like great chemistry with Latoya and they just like totally get along and she's just great everything about it was just like wonderful. Which means that they're gonna tease some sort of like lesbian kind of like flirtation or they're just gonna have a big fallout. Next season, I think that they're, cause they're really laying it on thick. This is one of those typical scenes of like, look how good a friend's we are.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh yeah, let's dance around. And then they're dancing. They're like, I like to keep, I like to keep up. You're so shady, you're so shady. Oh yeah, Mal. Oh yeah, Mal, am I supposed to be in the scene? Get out of here Mal.

I parked my car perfectly, I am now. Am I supposed to be in the scene? Get out of here, Mal! I parked my car perfectly. I don't care! So I want to go on a date. Well, Latoya wants him both to sign up for a dating site. And can you say, what? Only fans. Ha ha ha ha ha! By the way, they're clearly not going to have a falling out because if they were going to have a falling out,

then Latoya would be probably a full on housewife. So I think it's just gonna be a knowing flirtation. It's just gonna be one of those annoying story lines of like, I kind of like a girl, which is like so played out and tired. Yeah, I think that Kenya is just going to use Latoya as her weapon. You know, she's gonna like aim her at people

that she doesn't like and try and get Latoya to do all the dirty work. And it's going to make Latoya look stupid or something, and that's why she didn't get a full-time role. Yeah. So here we see Latoya being put to use to change Kenya's image regarding Wigs, because Latoya is like, I'm just not a wig person. And Kenya is like, well, you know, every now and then when your hair is jacked up, sometimes you have to wear a wig.

Which explains exactly why I had a wig in Toronto. See, everything is fine. I've always been calm about wig usage and understanding about wig usage. Ha ha ha. So then they start talking about. That was pretty funny that they're like, hey, let's just erase all of Kenya's

negative wig talk over the years. And she's always loved wigs. She's always been down for an occasional wig. That's just, how do we who she is famously? So Latoya is like, well, let's call a wig a wig. And Drew's, that is not a wig. Okay, that is a pet on your head. So they're like making fun of Drew's wig.

Yeah. Oh God, for a a bid someone has natural hair people You leave Drew's hair alone. It's beautiful. So Kenya's like we cannot be friends. We are too shady with each other Other than that any other issues with Drew She's like no not really you didn't get offended that she called you out on wanting to date people even though you're still kind of married but separated Like no She really goes no Can you say she still needs work this one yeah She's like no, I mean look I've forgiven my guy we forgiven each other and whatever and can you say I get you

each other and whatever. And Keny is like, I get you. You want to be a free spirit. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So then, Latoya is like asking Keny. What she is going to do is start putting herself out there, you know, dating wise. And Keny is going to move forward with her divorce. And then Latoya is like, well, that's what we're going to take some pictures. And Keny is like, pictures, what pictures? I'm like, you saw's what we're gonna take some pictures and kind of like pictures. What pictures? I'm like, you saw her bring in a full on SLR, DSLR into this household. Don't act like you didn't know. Don't act like you didn't put on an outfit.

So like, for a photo shoot. I know. Can you look a good gorgeous. She's like really tight jeans and like a booby shirt and everything. And like, she looks totally hot. She's like pictures. Cheese. Cheese. Say cheese. Hey, it's Mal. We sure and everything like she looks totally hot. She's like pictures cheese Cheese say cheese

I'm dying on Malbus did someone say please no, I think she said cheese. I said cheese What what what how do you press how do you take a picture? So What? What? How do you press? How do you take a picture? So, uh, but wait, hold on before we take these sexy pictures, I totally didn't prepare for what about my ring? I have to show that I'm still married. Yeah, Drew's like, I'll edit that out. And then that was it. Yeah, that was it. It was a commercial. It was one scene and then commercial. It was a cliffhanger. Like, will she ever edit that ring out?

How good are her Photoshop skills? What does Latoya even do for a living? So then we go over to Candy, working out with Cynthia, and Kenya comes over, and Kenya is like, you've got a hill over here like More Manor, which is like, I guess this is the theme, is that everyone has a steep hill at their house in Atlanta. Yeah. And, uh, aircase, ass and stuff. And they talk about like, oh my god, I'm so fat.

And it's like, I have fallen into a fat of 30 pounds of fat. And so they're going to get some personal training done. So they work out and they work out and they work out. And then they sit down to have a fruit break at a nearby table. And Cynthia starts giving her update on the wedding and she's like, well, I still wanna invite 250 people and even Kenya's like, no, like why are you doing that? Why Cynthia? Why?

It's a pandemic. And she's like, well, we're gonna see you around you. And Candy's like, I would not, she's like, don't even ask me what I would plan cause you know I would never follow the rules. And Candy's like, well, you can always get married at the lake with a tent in the backyard.

I can make it beautiful. Mm-hmm. And Cynthia's like, well, I feel confident moving forward with the wedding as long as we're here to all the COVID rules and regulations. I'm like, uh, you're not going to. You're not, We're here to all the COVID rules and regulations. I'm like

You're not going to You're not you're inviting 250 people to an indoor wedding. I mean You're not I'm glad that you feel confident But you're you're creating a very like reckless event. Yeah, so Ken is like, well, if you hire me to be your planner, so it feels like she's always the wedding planner in my mind. And I can you go, yeah, I can do your prenup too. Mm-hmm. And Candy is basically like, don't wait until the last minute to have your prenup. Just trust me on that.

I would see flashbacks of Candy and Todd fighting about the prenup, which I was like, oh gosh, I was hoping that that storyline would be behind us. You know, I have to say prenup storylines are like vastly annoying to me. To me, they're up there with vaginal rejuvenation and cryotherapy, and they're even worse because they seem to take up more space

and be treated more seriously. And it's like, I'm just not interested in watching scenes of them meeting with lawyers and talking about pre-nubs and being serious about, like I just don't care about, I just don't care about the pre-nub. I think a pre-nub should be automatic on any, if you're a reality star and you're marrying someone who's not a reality or any kind of star,

or if you have any kind of money, pre-nub, pre-nub, pre-nop, always pre-knop. I should just be easy. They should just have simple, they probably do. You could probably just like sign up to a pre-knop newsletter and get your free pre-knop. Just be like, is that right? You don't get any of my shit, okay?

The end. Yeah, it's like one of those boxes that comes once a month with like, it's like your bark box, but for pre-knops. Yeah, exactly. So then we go over to Porcia, who's pulling your bark box, but for pre-naps. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So then we go over to Porosha who's pulling up to Tania's place and Tania comes out the door. Woo!

Oh, baby! Oh my God! And she's like holding up like, what is she holding up? A baby. Oh, the baby. She's holding a baby. It's her niece. She's like, who's a baby. It's her niece

So porous like oh my god, so they're all hugging it because it's been four months since they've seen each other and Tania's like oh my god. It's just been so busy. It's been the pandemic, and social rights taboo. Oh, love you, see? These girls are gonna get it on, woohoo! So they hop in the car, and they're gonna go, they're talking about someone named Fallon, that they're gonna go see, and they're gonna go to our house, and swim in her pool. And I guess the story is that Porsche met Fowl and she seemed really cool.

So, and Fowl and invited them over. And Porsche was like, don't threaten me with a good time or something like that. Yeah, so Fowl and we already know is a failed audition. Yeah, Fowl and she was not the opening. So poor Fowl, we already know Fowl and it's going to be a feature. She's also not interesting. She also seems to be from a fully different age bracket. It just seems weird.

It was bizarre. But for right now, they're just heading to Fowl and it's place. Antenna is like, oh, this is so much fun. I appreciate the estrogen. Whoa! And so let's see. Pull, pull, we're going to pull.

We're going to pull. And then they start talking about relationships in COVID. And Tanny's like, well, you know, sometimes with Paul is a blessing and sometimes, I was like, just go somewhere, please just go somewhere. Yeah. And poor, she starts talking about Dennis and how she's had to compartmentalize with all these different parts of her life. And then a big argument and they've broken up and she had to compartmentalize with all these different parts of her life and they had a big argument

And they've broken up and she had to do it for herself and so she's been doing all those all those other stuff So she doesn't have to think about Dennis so There's that and then they finally arrive at a mansion and They show up and they walk to the front door and Tanya's like, oh my cheeks were out a little bit. Oh wow, I hope no one saw that. My cheeks were out a little bit.

Oh. And she starts rubbing her butt on Porsche. And it's just like wacky. And then Fallon comes and she's this very beautiful lady with the mansion. Of course, as we've mentioned, and she mentions, you know, every chance she gets. She's one of those housewives auditions

that just talks about how rich she is a lot. Yeah, I don't really understand. You get all the show and you'd know that this is a failed audition and it makes us seen a lot sadder to watch it. I'm like poor Fallen, like, she seems nice enough but apparently this isn't going to be good enough because she didn't make it. And it's not. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. And so she brings them to the pool and then we just see this like older gentleman's sort of like shuffling along slowly and I was like, please don't let that be our husband. Please say that's her dad. Please, please like make fun of him like a daddy's girl and this is her father and this is her father's mansion and she grew up in the lap of luxury and then that her storyline is that she's a sheltered princess. No, it's her husband. Yeah

There he is. It's her husband Yeah, and You know, they're all fist bumping and he's like look at those flowers Those make me want to get married again because there's like white flowers and she goes well We may just have to renew our vows for an upgrade on this ring. Ha ha ha ha. I'm the queen.

Oh, congratulations on the ending of your marriage. Yeah. We're doing the housewives show. Yeah, I'm really well. Hey, Ronnie, you know what's a really, I know we're in a pandemic and everything and we're being really mindful of social distancing and we're being mindful of not spreading germs with each other.

You know what's a really good idea to do? Let's... Hookahs. Hookah, yeah! Let's do hookah! Let's share a hookah! Do you think maybe they all have different tips? I think they did have different tips that It looked like they were taking them off,

but it still felt like, it's like, hmm, let's do an activity that involves blowing air in each other's faces. You know, what's showing tips and saliva. I don't know, I just was like, this just doesn't feel like- Well, the whole episode's kind of like that. They all show up in Maspith and they all hug.

They're actually up. Like Cynthia doesn't ever in Maspith and they all hug. I know. Like Cynthia doesn't ever see him later. Yeah, everything I'm like this doesn't, this doesn't feel like a good way to not pass the coronavirus around. So, Fowl is like, oh well, I didn't poke holes in the hooka yet. So, I'm gonna use my earring, my diamond earrings. Yeah, she's poking holes. She's like little holes, little wop holes. And so they're talking about wop holes and Porsche is saying, Porsche starts talking about how like a big, a big wop. She's like, if you have a big wop and it's,

and it's whopping, then that's bad because then you're just swimming in the ocean. Yeah, we gotta find you after that. So then they throw each other in the pool and everybody's whacking and giggling. kicking things like, girls, I love girls. Let's talk about the deep issues of I know I mean, 20, I mean, while Simon's just to the side just sitting and staring at the mother and all the pool swimming around, it was just very bizarre. It was like a bizarre place. It was because they move over to the hot

tub and he's sitting like way on the other end of the pool just staring at them It's creepy like you see his little figure above them So then palan's like I'm Portia. Did I hear something about you getting the team? And she's like, yeah, I got arrested and I cried for three straight days because of Jacob Blake when I got back and They started talking about how they can do something and they're not helpless and talking about the trauma that that Portia's talks about the trauma that black people live with right now because you know if you see other black people getting arrested or killed that's traumatic etc and it's like very serious they're all talking

about it and I got you and gived. She's bought them like really extravagant booze baskets and stuff So then we go which by the way is also so like that's so thirsty like people come over to swim in your pool And you give them like extravagant gifts afterwards like okay, we know you want to be on the show You know you know you want to be friends with everyone, but this is a bit much Well, hey listen if you ever want to buy a friend, I am forced to. That's true. That's true. So then Drew is we're at Drew's house,

and they're packing to move to this new house, but of course, Ralph hasn't moved any of the boxes he said he would. And so they bicker and bicker and bicker and bicker. I need this couple off my screen. Yeah, basically, they're moving into a house around the corner that's like a huge house and Ralph the Ralph drew is already like it's our house our house and he's like I'm not saying it's ours until I buy it So he's very much like it's my house like I bought it, you know

And then he starts talking about the process of what like buying a house is and he's like you listen You just focus on packing up. I'll take care of the house, like very condescending and patronizing to his wife. And she's like, dude, we're a couple. We're supposed to be doing this together. Can I be involved in this process a little bit? Like you say, you're attorney, it's our attorney. And he's like, just pack.

Yeah, and then she's like, well, I just don't want to pack and then wind up in a situation where we have nowhere to go. And he's like, do you think I would put my family in that position? I'm like, yeah, you left them for three days and didn't tell them where you were. So yes, I do believe you might leave your family high and dry.

And she's like, do you think I would put my family in Tampa in that position? I mean. So she's like, stop saying I. It's like, well, I guess I'm just going to remove that word from my vocabulary soon. They bicker at each other and bicker and then they get in the car and bicker and bicker.

And then they drive to the house and they bicker and bicker. And he's like, why are you giving me such a hard time? And she's like, well, I'm just saying that we both have areas that we can grow. For example, you think that children should be a lot of standout stools to the time. And I don't. It's like, well, sometimes I get things wrong, but at least I admit it. It's like you literally do not admit it. You literally, we watched you, we watched you resist accountability for leaving for three days, okay? And by the way,

Drew is like, Drew is definitely an enabler because she was like, well, Ralph just wants to be a knight in shining armor. I'm like, no, he doesn't want to be a knight in shining armor. He's a control freak. And he doesn't want, like, he wants to keep you under his thumb. Like, it's very blatant. His thumb attached to very big sexy arms,

but whatever, still an asshole. Yeah. And she's like, well, I called the counselor and I want this to be a home we can grow in. So we should go to counseling. He's like, well, I called the counselor and I want this to be a home we can grow in so we should go to counseling He's like, oh, so you already spoke with her and gave her a bias to prejudice to prejudge me like let me tell you what I want to fix on old Ralph She's like well, you're the one Can you just say good job finding a counselor? Okay, like I didn't even do anything wrong

Are you agreeing to counseling or not? I mean's like, yeah, I'm down for it. We need it. You too. Yeah. That's gonna be a disaster. A full disaster. He's terrible. So now, speaking of terrible,

Mike and Cynthia go to a venue, like the Coffinus town estate or whatever it was called. And they meet up with like wedding planner and then they all, they all, this is, I wrote down this, it's exactly what you just said. They all have these visors on and they're hugging. It's like such like,

it's like safety protocol theater, right? Like, they're not even wearing anything that's helpful. Like those visors, they're like, they don't, you're supposed to be wearing a mask, right? Like the visors seem cool in everything. But like the check cashing place visor is. Yeah, the visor is a bit like, it's still like, the whole point of the mask is supposed to,

the whole theory of it is the mask. If you are like basically asymptomatic or you have something, the mask is gonna help keep your shit inside, right? And like that, so the visor is like, cool, I guess it's more, it it you know it's it's not Bad but on its own it's not really that helpful and on top of that if you're hugging and your visors like riding up on your Forehead Basically your only covering your like your eyelids with the visor. It's like not

Not the best my mom wears one of those and she gets so mad when they make her put on a mask. She's like, ah, and she always shows us, because I wear this everywhere, and no one has a problem with it. You know, she throws shade at everybody. And like, mom, I've literally heard you say that five times to people,

which means that you don't just wear this everywhere. Obviously, every time I'm with you, someone makes you put on a mask, like, you think you'd be getting used to it by now. It's like literally the easiest thing to do. So she really loves that check-caching thing. I think that would be harder to wear that.

I know, that's the thing. That's more obtrusive. That's like more, I mean, it's not pressed up on your mouth as much. So I understand a discomfort of a mask sometimes, because sometimes it gets hot. And I imagine especially in Georgia, with that heat and humidity, it's like, ugh. Yeah, it's mass.

Mine would be all fogged up if I was wearing one of those. I'd be like, are you back there? I don't want to slide this check under the little slit unless I'm not here there. Anybody? Mine would just be dirty with all the tacos I would try to stuff into my mouth and hit the visor. Damn, and I forgot I had this thing on.

Yes. Just have salsa stains on it. Anyway, they're going around and getting a tour of this wedding venue. And Cynthia's telling us, again, her storyline, Mike just wants to get married, no matter where, about. I think that weddings set the tone for the marriage. And, uh, Mal's coming. He's like, Hi, I'm Mal. Hi, I'm Mal. I'm here to set a tone. And the tone is, Hi, I'm Mal. Cheese. Cheese.

Is there going to be a wedding photographer? Because I could do that. Cheese. Oh, is this a Shakudiri room? Finally I can say it. Geez. I brought my Kodak advancex. So the lady is like, Oh, I think it would be really nice if we had an, an aerialist. What'd she say?

An aerialist, that way they can get sprayed from above. But they were like, what is it? An airlist? And she's like, no, an airlist. An orlist? No, an aerial, you know She's like no an airless an or less no an area that you know Some of the list we want to have an a list star. Did you say cheese? Do you want me to take photos from the air? And Mike Mike's like oh so stripper like no like like a classy stripper. It's like sounds great At this point Mike's visor by the way is essentially a Yamaka

It is like just all the way back I'm like why don't you even have this thing on at this point like Mike's visor is the best because he doesn't even pretend It's either on top of his head or it's like way pulled below his nose. Yeah, I'm just like it's just like flagrant disregard So they play that music. I don't remember what movie it's from, but it's movie music and it's the same music Vanderpump rules played when Jackson's mowing his lawn at the beginning of the season. This is the perfect, perfect setup. So we see this romantic place to have your wedding and look, here's a Sharkuturi room.

And it's a golf course. Yeah, there's just like these sprawling grounds. And Cynthia is very determined to have it indoors. You know, I'm like, Cynthia, like this is, Cynthia really frustrates me because it's like, okay, it's bad enough that you are bringing 250 people together in a pandemic when you could, which could very potentially be a super spreader event.

But then you want it to be indoors. At the very least, could you put up a tent? Could you put these, they've got sprawling grounds. It's October, shouldn't be as bad in Atlanta. Why is this not an outdoor wedding Cynthia? It actually makes me angry. It's half and half. Part of it's going to be outside. So she's like, this place makes me angry. It's half and half like part of it's gonna be outside.

So she's like, this is gonna be good enough. And you know, we can have we can have part of it inside part of it outside. It'll be fine, but that's like, it's like, but if you have it inside at all, like it's not like if you get extra credit. Not like like coronavirus, like, well, they did some of it outside. So I think I'm just gonna move on to the next event. Yeah, it's not up there.

Just you. Yeah. Like, why are you not having this all outside? Why are you so insistent? It's sort of like this, it's like, I don't know. I feel like Cynthia is very selfish in this instance. I think she is too, but then what's his deal with having to get married on that date?

Like, he has to get married on that date. No, I don't think he has to. I think he's sort of like, I think he's like, with a challenge right here. Special date, that's a special date. We have to get married on that date, like he has to get married on that. No, I don't think he has to. I think he's sort of like, yeah, I think he's like a challenge here. He's like a special date. That's a special date. We have to get married on that date. And she's like, why?

Why don't we just wait for this to get past and have our wedding after? And he's like, no, you just don't want to marry me. I mean, I will say this, their arguments, like their, like their stances are very fluid. So it's a little hard to follow. But like, like, I'm under the impression so it's a little hard to follow but like Like I'm under the impression that he's like listen

We don't need to have all these people what matters is us So if you want to get married on that day then then then it's this and if it's like I Think he's like challenging to be like If it's not if it's gonna if you're if you don't want to get married on that day You know it's for love like if you don't want to get on that marina. Yeah, it's for, if it's gonna, if you're, if you don't want to get married on that day, not for show, you know, it's for love. And she's like, if you don't want to get on that, yeah, it's for love and for show. And he's like, no, it's not about show.

She's like, yes, it is about show. Yeah. So then, and so then, Mallory's like, Mall's like, well, you know, we could have a small wedding in Lake Bailey. I'm sure the snakes won't mind. Yeah. And that really pisses her off. She's like, you know, um, clearly on 10, 10, 20, yeah, I'm 10, 10, 10, 20. I mean, clearly. And of course, she has giant earrings that say 10,

10, 20, 20. Like, yeah, Cynthia, Cynthia, you're supposed to be one of our more reasonable cast members here. Okay, like, first of all, why do you have promotional materials already from your ears about this wedding? Like, this is Cynthia. She's like, I've already branded it, you know? I'm not going to rebrand this shit. Okay. So Mike's like, listen, if we can't do it that day, this is my day too, right? You know, like, why don't we make a decision that we're getting married on 10, 10, 20, and that's it. And she's like, that was my sister. And all I require of her is to have my back. Yeah. You're my sister. So I'm riding all the time. That's it. Do you remember you're wetting with the dinosaur? Did she? How much of a back do you want Mallory to have? Well, how

much are you really expecting from her? Although she did kind of have your back with that one trying to stop you from marrying Peter in that style of the store museum. Mallory has really never been in the wrong, by the way. Maybe like more business. Yeah. Mallory is like, Mallory is like, why are you having all these people during a pandemic? Let's do it outside. Your place will be easy. It'll be fun, right? You know? And Mike is like, and the thing is, Cynthia's just like dead set on this wedding that she wants to have. And Mike is like, Cynthia, we're wearing masks right now, which is also LOL, because again, his is like at this point on his elbow.

And he's like, we're wearing masks right now. We have to plan for the idea that there might be restrictions, that we might not be able to have 250 people. And it's like, do you want to, I just, he's like, I just want to get married to you. Like, I just want to get married to you on this date. And I think that for him, it's like the reason why he's like, if it's not the state, it's nothing. It's because if she isn't interested in getting married with him on that date, that just shows that she, she cares more about having a big party than actually getting married to him.

Right. So then they get in the car and fight some more about it. And then she keeps trying to mess with him. She's like, well, look, we might have to do plan C or D or whatever together. You know, I don't want you to be like, oh, it's a pandemic. Everybody's going to be in mass. I mean, we have to decide. And he's like, but it shouldn't matter who's around us. But I want to share with friends and family. But I don't want to take that away from you. Then don't take it away. And she's like, um, you know, he goes, he goes at one point.

He's like, so on 10, 10, 20, are we, are we going to be married? And she's like, I don't know. For me, it's not about the date. He's like, yeah, I'm glad. She starts messing with him. He's like, what the hell? Now you're changing your story.

And it goes 51 seconds earlier, her going, clearly I'm team 10, 10, 20 and showing her earrings. She's literally wearing your earrings and say 10, 10, 20. She's like, no, what I mean is I want to get married on February 10th, 3,001. Oh, God.

So he goes, well, you know, people, when you, people don't ever say, hey, how was your wedding? They say, how's your marriage? That's what they say. She goes, well, that depends on who you're marrying. Oh, what's that thought was funny? Because she's like, you're marrying a television star. And I will be having a wedding that people talk about.

Yeah. It's like, uh, so that they just basically bicker and bicker and keep going and going and this car scene goes and goes and she's like, well, listen, he says calm down. They're about telling each other to calm down, right? Because he's like, well, you said you need your wedding. She goes, I didn't say need. Don't say that I said need. I didn't say need. I want. I don't need to get married.

And he's like, well, calm down then. Well, if you're going to put, I want, I don't need to get married. And he's like, well calm down then. Well, if you're gonna put me, get it right. Because I wanna get married to you. I don't need to. He's like, okay. So do you wanna get married on 10, 10, 20? She's like, I want to get married to you on 10, 10, 20. At the place we just looked at.

And he's like, well, are we going to get married on 10, 10, 20? She's like, I don't know. He's like, okay, well we going to get married on 10, 10, 20? She's like, I don't know. He's like, okay, well, then I know. Then I know. She's like, all I know is that I want to invite 250 people and I want our wedding to be in a scaper room and we're all gonna be in there, trapped together

until we can find their way out and there will be no masks allowed. Okay, that's all I want for our wedding. And dinosaurs. I am dinosaur. He just grabs the camera and the car and twists it away. asks aloud. Okay, that's all I want for our wedding. And dinosaurs. I am. He just grabs the camera and the car and twists it away. He's pissed. Yeah.

Because it's clear she just, she's trying to sell it like, oh, no, I want to have friends and family there because I want to, you know, I want to show how proud I am that. I don't know how to have her big fairy tale wedding, you know, and I, there were two weddings. So far, I've missed two weddings this year. And it was the same conversation. It's like, well, but can't we do it? What should we do a smaller version? Well, I don't want to do a smaller version. Everybody's going to be in math.

What am I going to have to do? Post-pone my wedding? I guess what? They both postpone their wedding. Yes. I think it's like, to me, it's an easy thing. You either just agree, like, you know what? Let's have a big thing and let's just postpone it till it's safe or do the small thing and say, we'll have a big party later. But this argument feels strange. I mean, obviously we know they wind up getting married and thankfully, I actually don't think

that their wedding was a super spreader event, even though I think everyone was calling it a super spreader event when it happened. But to me, I just think that this is just like so selfish of Cynthia. And I think it's like in the end of like one of the reasons why we have such huge numbers in this country. It's just like someone saying like, no, I insist on continuing my life as normal because this is the way it has to be.

And it's like, you have to make adjustments, because a lot of people are. And the fact that you're not willing to do it for your wedding is so selfish. It just really, really pissed me off. Well, there you go. That's the end of that. The actual wedding is fun. All the pictures from it were fun,

because everybody's in the check-ashing place masks, you know? Yeah. Like everyone's all dressed up. But she still did have a lot of people there. So we'll see. I mean, I don't know. I'm ready for this season to move on to some new stuff because so far, it's like Cynthia and Mike still talking about the Chihil wedding. And then it's not going to.

It's not going to. It's not going to. It's divorced still. And then Porsche still mad at, you know, hot dog king. It's not going to move on to anything because I think the climax is going to be the wedding. But I think the Drew stuff is fun because Ralph is such a dick and that's like it's like really fun to just see how much of a dick he is and just see like what like how that's gonna unfold over the course of the season. I'm looking forward to that. Oh, then next week it looks like Kenya is gonna really be an asshole too. So you know we have that to look forward to as well. Well everybody that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Atlanta.

We will be back tomorrow with below deck. If you want our Real Housewives of Potomac extra long video recap, go over to crap and it's on demand. That's also where you will find all of our videos and our three-parter holiday recap next week with the 90-day gays. We'll talk to you next time. Love you guys! Bye!

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