Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Edged Out

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

Marlo tries to launch a new wig line on "Real Housewives of Atlanta," but she's upstaged by Kenya Moore's edge cream. Just another day in the ATL. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Kristy Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just saying okay?

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Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. He makes us squeezy, Ritchie D. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson.

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Always ready for Nicole Pass already. One day your Rachel's in. And the next day, you're out. Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Let's go on a bender with Lord and Fender. Yes we can, with howly, caroling and an an.

Yes we should, with Carrie Bridgewood. You're the windum beneath our wings. Joe Windum. Nancy C. Centicisto. Holy Grant, the Grant Master. Somebody get us ten C.C CCs of Betsy MD! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony!

Incredible edible Matthewsisters! And... Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Watch what crap means! Watch what crap means! Who cares what happens when there's so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I'm Ben Madelker from the Real House where there's a kitchen island, a new episode coming soon hopefully. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious co-host of the Rose Prick's Bachelor's Podcast,

which is coming back in January. It's Ronnie Karen. What's going on Ronnie? Well, hello, Bing. Hello. We just got back from a whirlwind tour of St. Louis and Philadelphia. It was so fun. Thank you guys so much.

Our late Joan Philadelphia where we recapped Beverly Hills. That will probably be up around over the holidays or something like that. We'll save that for later. It might even be a two-parter because it was like a long, it was a big episode. So thank you so much everyone who showed up. And of course this week we are finishing out our 2019 for live shows this week, first with Denver, where we are going to recap this week's Real Housewives of Orange County.

And then in Seattle on Friday, it's Krapinsmiths. We encourage everyone to wear your holiday, your most festive holiday garb. We are going to be celebrating the holidays, every holiday that's possibly known to man. At Krapinsmiths in Seattle, there are still tickets left. It's we're gonna to have so much fun. We're going to recap real house on the New Jersey.

Truly the most perfect thing to recap around Christmas, right? I mean, bring your sprinkle cookies, bring your sweaters, bring your nut crackers, whatever it is. So to get tickets for that, it's watchacrapans.com. And then tomorrow, it's Tuesday. You know, Tuesday is when we always announce our new shows and our pre-sales. I can guarantee some of you are going to be extremely happy. We are going to be announcing shows for two major cities that we've both gone to with two of our most loyal fan bases.

One of the cities has been way overdue. So stay tuned tomorrow for that announcement. That's gonna be amazing. And then here's what's happening in 2020 for us. Starting in January, we have the Golden Crappies and Los Angeles. They are literally five tickets left. If you want to come, there's literally five left. And then we're going to Detroit, Columbus, Austin, Houston, Birmingham, Alabama, New Orleans, Lawrence fucking Kansas. Someone told us that's how we're supposed to say it. Lawrence fucking Kansas. That's like the thing. Um, Omaha, it's, she's like, you better say

Lawrence fucking Kansas. LF, LFK, people will get it. So if you don't get it, blame someone. Um, Omaha Salt Lake City Vancouver or land out Charleston Charleston. Hello Oklahoma City. As Barry Park and Washington DC will have a few more shows added onto that roster soon enough. And yeah, it's gonna be a very exciting six months. And that will be taking a break. Yeah, we're gonna have some good times from the next few months. So thanks to everyone who comes and we'll see you over there. If you still need Christmas, Steph, better hurry up and go to crap. And okay, go to crap and merch.com or just find the store links at watch a crap and calm. There's Shannon Bould or T shirts. Still till the end of the year. There's also Ramona leggings for Christmas, Ramona Santa Claus,, remonial shirts and ho ho ho, okay.

Remonial shirts, when life gives you salads, I mean, when life gives you taco, makes taco salads, there's four dork shirts, there's a lot of stuff in there. So go get it now. And also we do a lot of crap and it's on demand videos. If you guys want to watch these, we do at least one a week. And those are on our Patreon, along with our bonus episode. So go over there. And I think that's enough shilling for today.

I know. I do want to say an apology because I actually wore my Shannon Bulldoor t-shirt to our Philadelphia show. It was under my sweater. And I forgot to take off my sweater and show it and show the glory of Shannon Bulldoor. So it was cold. What the hell?

I know I was cold. And so I just forgot. So Shannon was with us that entire time that for both Shaz and I like I got home to the hotel and I was like, well that was a lovely night. I'm just gonna take off my sweater and Oh my god there I am Shannon Bulldoor! Oh, I've relicked once again once again. Brain leaking. I was due to brain leakage. You can thank Kelly Dodd for that. Yeah, also by the way, congratulations to Shannon and Mador for being the Peloton wife before

Peloton wife was even a thing. Did you know about this? Yeah, Peloton wife. Yeah, Chan and Mador, the original Peloton wife, the original scared wife whose husband just wants her to lose some weight by the next holiday season. Classy at everybody hugs. Can we talk about Atlanta? I think it's it's, sorry. holiday season. Classy at everybody hugs. Can we talk about a later?

Oh, sorry. Let's talk about it. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. this is for a wife. I mean a wife who wants a bell of tons like no fuck you. Okay. You know what? I want as a wife money jewelry Vacations take your fucking back and shove it up your ass. How about that? Yeah?

By the way, Peloton if you want to advertise with us, we're open. I would love I would love for Peloton to be a sponsor because that would be great I don't have any space anywhere for a peloton, but just you know, I'd make space for you Peloton I'd make space for you daddy The problem is is that I really love to use the products that advertise with us especially the bras Love the bras But I love to use the products and you know I'm gonna get on a goddamn Peloton You know that is not gonna happen. I would I would actually do it. I would become the peloton wife gladly,

because you can get on it and I'll stand in front of you and eat chips while I stare at you intensely and talk about how much you're, your, your keen wasex. I would love that, I would love that. So today is Atlanta, you know, you know, Atlanta really brought a smile to my face this week. I was cracking up.

I was like, this is why we needed Kenya back. This is why you need Kenya back for some like big, messy situation. It was really good. Yes. And did you see, well, we'll get to it later. I'll look it up while we talk about it. I was going to talk about Nini telling. Nini telling Andy off on No, it's a gram. Oh, oh my god. I can't wait. I'm gonna tell you yeah, yeah, I would love to hear it I would love to hear this so basically on watch what happens live Andy showed a picture of Neenie wearing that same red dress at the bravo I guess it was that the bravo watch what happens doorbell ringing day whatever that was It was at the Bravo Watcher. It happens doorbell ringing day, whatever that was.

She was wearing that same red dress that she's wearing in the diary room sessions. And they were teasing, you know, they were teasing her like, well, last time her strap broke. And I guess she fixed that strap. And then Eva is on watch what happens live. And she's cracking up like it's the most hilarious, the shadiest thing she's ever heard. Someone having a broken strap. And so Andy's like, I didn't mean it to be shady.

Wasn't really that shady. And she's like, oh, yeah, like I don't mean stuff to be shady. Yeah. So then Nini goes on Instagram. She's like, why is this even necessary? Andy, I don't appreciate this. Oh God forbid. I'm very addressed.

Why so just goes off on. No, you know what this is? Because like didn't Nini back out of Bravovo con that's what that's what this is It's payback from Andy. He's gonna get you some way one way or another. He's gonna get you got you got you got you got you You're gonna talk about your strap breaking. Yeah, he knows It's like the guy on it's the guy in Seinfeld who when you breaks up with women He says things that are like that like haunt women forever and Elaine like he breaks up the lane and he's like, yeah, well whatever shut up big head and she's like big head that was like so stupid and then like

she spends the rest of the episode being paranoid about the sides of her head. This is Andy Cohen doing that. He's like, wow, nice strap that's broken and now like Nini is gonna spend the rest of her life. Like did my strap break again? Andy Cohen. Every time we see Mimi from now on, she's going to be reaching for her strap to make sure they're pulled out. Yeah. Good. And you know what, Mimi? Your your contributions to this season continue to be underwhelming. And you try, you tried to make this episode about you at the end didn't work. Because guess what? I guarantee, I mean, I have not taken any empirical evidence on this, but I guarantee everyone, when they were done with the episode, they were not talking about, wow, when Nini stormed out,

that was so much drama, they're like, oh God, Kenya coming in with a marching band with edges matter. That's what people talk about. Kenya wins. Kenya versus... Their edges matter. Kenya beat Nini. Yep, and you know, I'm not huge, can you fan either?

But God, that was, that was pretty glorious. It was hilarious. I'm, I want to start doing means shit to people and they're going, I'm a business woman. Ha ha ha ha ha. I think you should. I think you should. Every time Ben gets an order to me, I'm just going to say,

I'm a business woman. Ha ha ha ha. And every time Ronnie looks like he doesn't want to face the world. gets annoyed with me. I'm just gonna say. I'm a business woman. And every time Ronnie looks like he doesn't want to face the world, I'm just gonna get in his face and say, we're going to Toronto! Caron of all! Oh god. I know. Did somebody give Tanya Tanya pills? I used the more Tanya than ever every episode. Tanya is like, oh I'm gonna get more than five minutes of screen time today. Okay! Woo! Tania is like oh I'm gonna get more than five minutes of screen time today. Okay

So speaking of which the episode opens up with Portia and Tania They're at like a medical office and Portia's like are we gonna work out and Tania goes We need to get our booty back after that baby. Porsche is like, are we gonna get stuff removed? It's like, you don't even wanna remove that part. Whoa. Porsche's butt has gotten so big. And it's like one of those like Victorian dresses, you know, where a lady walks and like she has a bus

that goes like out like a shelf, you know? Yeah. Like a little parasol. It is the beautiful fluke. Huge shelf. It is a giant, giant shelf. And it will, someone will be very happy to nestle him to it. I'm sure with

their. Yeah, I love my Porsche and her big butt. And I loved it. The doctor was like, so the producer actually tells her, so were you doing this to get in shape again to start dating after what happened with Dennis? And she's like, I'm not doing this for some man. They

get what they get. Which I think it's hilarious that Portia's body image is just like, you know, me at Halloween. Right. Such a fucking bitch at me. Yes, I gave you up an old Roku remote control. You fucking get what you get and get off my step. That's right.

Yeah. So Portia is like, uh, she's like also having issues because she's, she says she doesn't like her organs sitting outside her pants, because ever since the C section, her organs have been all over the place. I'm assuming that has something that's like a reference to Lady Business down there, but I'm also like having these weird images of like Portia's liver just like hanging out on her chest or something. Like, oh, my liver got out again.

Oh, yeah. When you get a C section, they open you up, obviously. And then they have to pull out all your guts. And so, and you're still awake. I mean, my sister, I know this because of my five children that I have. No, I know this because my sister told me. She said, basically, you're still awake

but you can't feel anything, you know, like neck down or whatever. But you're still awake and you see your guts being pulled out. Don't need to see it. They're just like, okay, well, here's your organ. It's going to put that on this little couch desk. Here on the side. Do we have a coaster for this kid me?

Okay. Okay. Shadow Madoros is area in section, aficionado. Okay, well, we're just going to put some cream cheese back in there with you. Cause you know, cream cheese stuffs a salmon well, and it also stuffs a lady very nicely. So just a little cream cheese on the house. Yes, and then they pulled a little baby head out and it looks like an alien coming out of all your guts. It's terrifying.

Basically, so there you go, everybody. I hope anyone out there who's pregnant just got some reassurance from this podcast. I know. Hey, thanks a lot, Jerks. I know. Like, uh, if anyone, uh, if everyone wants to, we'll just, someone play this podcast for teenagers. Okay. Make sure there's no teen pregnancies.

So this is what happens. You know, it will get on the outside. They could put on a tray. They're stuffy full of cream cheese and uh and then the hot food is just scared so many people a lady at one of our shows is really pretty lady I said oh my god you look great she looked great okay she goes I'm pregnant I was like geez well you still look great like what do you think I'm saying yes and you look great beautiful she's all mad she's like I'm pregnant I just want to hear it so um so Portia gets but they're basically one of these places where they

They quietly electrocute you and then say that it's the equivalent of doing 30,000 abs So Portia gets on this machine and they attach this belt to her stomach and she says As it starts to like she's like getting like zapped, you know, it's my way great As a star still I usually getting like zapped, you know, it's like it's my way great Like just all her noises are coming out And Tony is like don't worry. It's just like taking a big boo And the way I was shaking is Tony okay, so this thing is like the old days You know how they show things in the 50s where they just strap them into these machines and it just shakes their jelly around They're just like she's eating And that is basically what I did

while I watch a scene doing Tania just going, whoa, that's like, I feel my boobs hitting my face and my underarms hitting my back. And I'm like, oh, shit, I hope that, I hope these get thin by doing nothing, things really work. Because if Tania stays on all season, I will be a stink. I am actually sort of fastened to try that like electrocute your midsection thing just because I'm just fascinated by it. Like, I don't think it's gonna work. I just, I just want to know what I want to be where the fitness trends are.

So I have a friend who's getting her license to do all that like freeze your freeze your fat off and, you know, freeze your neck fat or Kuypella or all that stuff and a penis enlargement. She's like, do you want me to try anything out on you? I was like, everything. I like, I want a penis on my ear. Okay, I want everything you can possibly knew. I want to try a cool sculpting also because it's not invasive and I want it to reduce my man boobs. So that would be lovely.

I want cool sculpting and, but it's like, it's so expensive. I'm like, is that $20? It's like, that's $,000. Okay, you're never going to do it. But I also want to try to find somebody in training, you know, maybe they'll mess up and I will actually get a penis on my ear and you know, like things maybe may seem sad, but listen, you get what you pay for it. I'm paying nothing. I'm going to have to be skinny on the only half of my body. I'm there. Yeah, I feel like I'll just go to like a, like a, what's it called, like cool, cool sculpting, like student in training, and then like they'll mess up.

And then I'll have like a band of skin around my chest that'll make it look like I'm like Mr. Freeze wearing a bikini or something, you know? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sounds good to me. I love a bargain, because then you can still tell people, well, this was free. You know, I don't know if you could feel better than them.

Yeah, well, the reason why I'm my nipple is up at my collarbone is because I did free cool sculpting. So, anyway, speaking of low-range things, Marlow is going to have a wig launch and she's invited every single person, but she is not invited. She will, she texted everyone but she didn't text Kenya and then we get a flashback of Marlo on the phone with Portia. This is when they were at, when Portia was at Jitterbug class with Kenya. And so Marlo is speaking on the phone with Portia on speaker and be like, I want you to come to my rig launch

and Portia's like, well, Ken, can you come? And she's like, yeah, oh no, absolutely. Please invite Kenya and they get off the phone. And Ken, he goes, who was that guy? Oh, Ken, yeah. Absolutely, please invite Kenya and they get off the phone and Kenikos, who was that guy? Oh Kenia. I, I laughed very hard. I did not. It was like, oh good one Kenia. Good one Kenia.

I'm mad. But I thought it was funny that Marla is of course wants to be friends with everybody when she has something to launch. You know, that lady has a lot of Instagram followers. So I'd love her for now. Okay. I'd love to come to my party for now. Yeah, for now. Well, everyone's an opportunist on this show. So, Tonya's like, I just think that we should get the group together right now because, you know, it's episode six and the producer said,

let's get the group together right now. So I thought that's a great idea. And see, her big trip is to Canada and this answered a lot of Ben question. Yeah. For the preview that we did of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Ben was very confused about Carnival and Toronto. Well, here's your answer. I had some very ignorant comments because I was like,

Carnival in Toronto, like really? Like why don't they just go to Rio? I had like a lot of like Carnival in Toronto, like really? Or like why don't they just go to Rio? I had like a lot of like Carnival privilege that I expressed. And actually a lot of people got a lot of like very nice support of comments from people who are like actually been. Carnival is like not just Rio, it's actually all over the world. So I was like, okay, great, I'm an idiot. And then on top of that, we learn on this episode

that this is actually the like what what the second largest one outside of Rio Sounds like that. So it's huge and I was just being a Toronto dumbass So I apologize to all the Toronto's were like shut the fuck up and we have a great carnival because I believe it because Toronto's a great city Yeah, it's a bit like the she said it's the biggest one outside of where I was in these yeah so She said it's the biggest one outside of where West Indies. Yeah, so West Indies just up the the ignorance about carnivals. Okay, I went I say to three hotel in Vegas. That's what I know about carnival. Okay, every night they would come out and do a carnival and I was like, wow, dad. Wow, I was raised at

the Carnival. Carnival and not carnival. Oh, nevermind. So by the way, interesting that this is two trips in a row that Tanya is spearheading because she also was in charge of the Japanese trip. Yeah, I was wondering about that. I thought she was, but then I thought maybe that was Eva's. Well, it was Eva and Tanya together. Oh, yeah. And this is like a Tanya one. You know that this probably also pisses off. Nini. know she wants to have some sort of trip to, I don't know, where Delaware. But like... I think the producers must secretly hate Nini and just want to get rid of her, but they

just can't get rid of her because they're doing everything they can to just go anti-Nini. I think that the producers also hate Nini and I think that she makes their lives very difficult. And this is probably a decision that came from Bravo brass that or like maybe even higher, maybe some idiot like like at Comcast who just like knows that Nini is famous and doesn't really watch Bravo and was like what we're getting rid of Nini but she's a star and so like they're like I think Nini is being forced upon them by like some executives who don't even watch Bravo. Yeah um I would go with that. Yeah, I like that. Tonya's like, hold on, I have a surprise.

And then she runs out like a mucket. Like when the muckets are running, she's like, she literally goes up and down. At Porsche. I just like, understand what you were saying. And you were so right. That is exactly how she moves everywhere. She has like little poles on her hands. She is and they just show you see her hair Just going boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and she was like, time is like rummaging to the waiting room. And they were like, no, I put those feathers somewhere.

Oh, God, all time is ticking. Time is ticking. Yeah, she came back in a full new outfit, complete with a new belt and everything. So she comes in big orange feathers and screens. We're going to go live. And Porsche just springs out of that chair and because Tony is doing a bounce, it's not twerking, but it's a Caribbean kind of,

like a booty shake dance, you know? And she comes in doing that and then Portia just jumps out of the chair and just starts joining it. Like, it was such an instinct for Portia. She barely even knew what was going on, I believe, but she just knew, it was like, oh, it's time for me to shake my booty

and I'm gonna do it right now. Yeah Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bella-Sive and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast Disantel each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So next we go to County in Todd, who is a very fancy version of what game is this? The next four. It is the next four, right? Yeah, it's the next four. Okay. But there's also some tricksy mon Monical. Did you hear the Trixi Monical?

We'll see you like connect for. Connect for. Connect for. Connect for. Not three, but four. I think that Trixi Monical's connect for song would be like, connect for what? Connect for what?

Why should I connect if I'm not going to connect for you? Yeah. No, but she said she. One, two, three. Why? For what? are connect if I'm not gonna connect for you. Yeah. No, but she said she. Uh, three. Why? For what? Law, it's actually her ballad. I'm like a checker in our connect for board. Life seems good. And then you press the switch on the

checkers for out. That's way too many lyrics for tricks. You're Monica. It is. It's a little as a little show toon scene. It's a little it's more it's not so much about it's more of like a twinkly song in her like an jaloid webber tribute musical. But I think that's like what she's planning to write but what comes out is connect four one two three what why connect for why connect for what so no this one was actually Well, it's funny because it's like it was you know it's more of like an R&B sound right but it's still tricky Like clearly tricks he wrote it because the lyrics were like today. I'm a little bit hurt I'm a little bit of this and a little bit of that

I'm a little bit of this and a little bit of that Is that what she was really singing yeah today. I'm a little bit hurt. I'm a little bit of this and a little bit of that I love some trick seats. Oh And why can't Candy just have a regular connect for like who the fuck buys a fancy I liked it and also who plays connect for with their husband? Is that something that has been in wives to you? I also want, like, if you're gonna be gaming, like, I have Candy and Todd, I have recommendations, like, we can get Beyond Connect 4,

like, the world of gaming has evolved. I know, you know. Okay, so Kayla comes in, she's like, Hi. Hi. Yeah, Kayla, like, really one of the most captivating people on Bravo, so she comes in. Hi, and Todd's like, what's popping? Nothing.

So it's really great that you want to go to New York City to follow your dreams of being in fashion. I say, wow, you know, I'm so proud of you for just saying, I'm going to try something. And Kayla's like, yeah. Wow, somebody said they're proud of me. I'm gonna try something and Kayla's like Wow Somebody said they're proud of me like oh no, sorry. We were talking to the firm They like shit on they like so not pay attention to Kayla. I like to also when he's like did you have fun in Europe? She goes yeah, it was fun Okay, well sounds like you're really proud

fun. Okay, well, sounds like you're really proud. So we talk about that Kayla being mad at Todd because he doesn't show any emotions and Todd's like, I've got to make Jeff. I've got to make you a tough. And Candy says that she just stands back because it's not her biological daughter, but Todd better not treat their daughter like

this because that's not going to fly with her. And I think Kayla, of course, you must have go to New York now. She just saw Riley's apartment. Exactly. She's not really keeping that lease up, right? Because I'm so moving into that apartment. Okay. I can show Riley how to make ice.

Yeah. I feel really bad for Kayla because I mean, she like, I guess the thing that annoys me is that like Todd didn't even know about Kale until like what, three or four years ago, right? And now he's like, oh, I got to make her independent, got to make her independent. And she's like, I need affection from you. It's like, Todd, how about you focus on like giving some love and affection for this girl who didn't even have you in her life for all those years, like rather than trying to

like toughen her off. Like I think that she probably has a lot of independence in her. I wouldn't worry too much about that. Yeah, you've already instilled that in her. But is it that he just met her? He didn't know that he had? I think that he didn't. Don't you have her?

I could be wrong. People can chime in. I'm pretty sure that the story with Kayla was that he didn't realize he had Kayla until like a few years ago. Oh my God. My memory is really terrible. Okay. What's his last name?

Todd. Todd Todd. I don't know what Todd is actually. Todd Reelhouse was a big daughter. Well, while you look that up, here's the other thing is that like he's all like, I want to show you how to be independent and fend for yourself. I'm like, says the guy who's like, basically living off of Candy's wealth

and using her money to start like all sorts of failing cottage industries for not industries, but side hustles. Yeah, say it again, I was looking, I started looking up Todd's daughter, but then they're just saying they didn't speak for a month, you know, because it's all the recent news. So I have to dig a little more.

But say what you just said again. So I want to hear it. No, I have a rewind function. It was a very Ronnie Kerr rant also. I think you'll like that. It bothered me that he was talking about how he wants to make her independent and stuff and how defend for herself. When Todd seems to be just like living off of Candy's money

and just like using it to like start up all sorts of like dubious side gigs. Yeah, which I guess she's going to go after him later this season because I've been sticking up for Todd saying like he works at the restaurants and you know like we see him. The restaurants been successful. Yeah. Yeah, like we see him doing stuff and like he did TV show he was producing TV shows and stuff Which I don't know if they're still long or not, but he was doing that So you say a stick up for him because he seems to do more than just someone like laying around taking money But I just want to go at preview that she's gonna go after him later this season So I'm excited for that part. Yeah, I just wanted to go at him because I didn't like that like she's

Clearly yearning for some like love and affection and some sort of like Anything and and also I really didn't like when can like to hear that that they didn't talk for a month like I'm sorry. That's bullshit It's one thing for the kid not to talk to the parent, you know for a month because the kids like moody and the kids young But you're the parent and you're the adult and you're not gonna talk to your daughter for a month like like get the fuck over it I'm sorry like I know I know you guys are like helping your aunt stuff, but you're the father. And on top of that, you did miss a big chunk of her life.

So how about you, um, don't waste a month by not talking. Sir. Sir. Yeah, agree. Do you have anything else on this scene? No, I'll probably just start ranting again about a family's dynamic that I only know a sliver about and just making very, very severe statements about. So I'll probably, let's move on to Kenya showing up at a place called the Gathering Spot,

where she is like, she meets up with like her team. And she's like, all these sales are coming in for Kenya more and grow. We perform so well in Sally Beauty stores that they gave us over 2,200 more stores. And the guy is like, cut chain girl. But I like that she got so many plugs in like one little second. I know. She's like, I missed last season. So let's just let's just mention I'm in Sally Beauty. I'm going to be in 2,200 more stores and my edge care is doing well. And I just bought a lawnmower too.

It gets a little better. Yeah. Hashtag Sally Beauty. Ben's favorite story. Sally Beauty. I don't know why it's noise me so much. I do not know why So even it takes Marley to play some tennis and then guess where Cynthia's at

The kitchen island. Yeah, her kids in island her favorite spot in the world. Yeah, she's cutting an avocado Which is classic Cynthia and she's like no well guess what I'm making like, Noel, guess what I'm making? Gwakomole. Oh my God, you make the best Gwakomole ever. This show has the least energetic children of any show. I have. I have. Because it's so funny, because their mothers are so full on.

And I guess that's why, because the moms take so much energy. I mean, like, Noel, Riley, Kayla, Brent, Brent who works in comedy. What other kids? Oh my God. Yeah, we haven't seen him this year. Yeah, that's why that's probably why they had to get rid of even Briel honestly has no energy. Yeah, Briel's another one. I just went to Chick-fil-A. Yeah. So yeah, so Cynthia is making some guacamole, which we're always giving Amanda on summer house shit for making guacamole She's like wow Amanda's guacamole. It's like you know, that's just mashed up avocados, right? Well also the origin of our Amanda our guacamole thing is because it was like I think season two She was like making guacamole like it was either a lot or she was like just every scene it would cut to her making guacamole

And we got mad because we're like she probably thinks that she's like this every scene it would cut to her making guacamole and we got mad because we're like she probably thinks that's like this is she's so special because she made guacamole it's just mashed avocado and she thinks like oh try my guacamole my guacamole my guacamole yeah but avocados are the most expensive thing so actually the person who does make the guac is really like the richest person in the room and so I think that's why people do it. They have like, yeah, I made the guac and it cost me $50. Enjoy it. Yeah, like nice, nice French onion dip that caught was a packet and some sour cream for $3 total. You put that in your... Hello. Do you make welcome only with French onion dip is that what you're telling me? No, see, you know, you you just

know, no, no, I was here. There was a connection, but then it was hilarious because it just seemed like it seemed like we had a fight. It did. I thought you got mad at me for me mocking the way that you make your guac with French onion dip. I would never do such a thing. You know that right? Well, you know that like Melissa Clark, uh, New York Times, uh, uh, food writer and also prolific cookbook author. She once posted a recipe for, was it, I think it's P guacamole with P-E-A guacamole. And it was like a big controversy and everyone got mad at her and it wasn't even her recipe

She just like posted like John George's recipe and it was like a whole controversy and you know what I made it And it's actually delicious So that just goes to show what's the point that there's French onion soup in there? No, no the point is that we can do fun things with guacamole like ad French onion soup mix to it if you want Oh, yeah, I see why people are furious because that's not guacamole that's peas well no well there was avocado but there's peas in there too no that's not fair I'm I'm infuriated all right what's your twitter I'm gonna go I'm gonna go bully her on twitter yeah bully mosa clerk she's such a fucking

bitch that mosa clerk with her delicious You and your fucking pee. Yeah, Melissa Clark. Oh, yeah, wow Nice use the Insta pot once you throw your face in there and Raise it in a surprisingly short amount of time. I'm gonna ruin her life Okay, it's official watcher crap and has a rivalry with Melissa Clark That's it everybody we're taking her down we're taking her down. We're taking her down. Don't want to ever have anything from her ever again. Yeah, that would be so full of ourselves. We're like, we are going against the New York Times

everybody. I know. I would love that. I don't love that. I don't love that. Oh, I'm sure they would be terrified. Watch out, Allison Roman. You're next.

Okay. So let's go on to, so basically Cynthia's making guac, and she tastes it with a spoon, and Noel freaks out like she's Tom Gleekio. Yeah. Yeah. What would you put the spoon in your mouth? Take that out right now. It's like, I gave birth to you.

Yeah, Cynthia's being such a classic Melissa Clarke in that moment. I was like, get off my screen. Yeah, and also you've had Peter since, you've like had sex with Peter since then. Get the fucking spoon out of the guac. That's what I say. Okay.

I can't believe how much we just talked about guacomole because this one five second scene. I know, because that's really all that happens. So then Neenie shows up at a restaurant and I'm assuming the season is shot out of order. Like most seasons because Neenie's coming into this acting like it's her first time back on screen and she is just going to remind everybody how charming it hilarious she is.

Absolutely. Following all over herself and she's following all over the host to Stan and she's like I have a Fun loving movies and seeing a life coach and is just Smiling and happy that's the making jokes with the waiters. She's not gonna Woman of people yeah So she so she sits down and Candy joins. But before we even get into what they talk about,

who else was massively distracted by the lady in the background, wearing a t-shirt that had a giant smiley face on it? It was like, but the mouth was open. It was like the t-shirt was like a monster. Did you see that? No, I didn't notice it. Oh my God, I could not stop.

Because every time I cut to candy, there was a lady and she was blurred out, but you can still clearly see her t-shirt. And her t-shirt was like a black shirt. And then there were these two eyeballs and then this mouth that was like smiling and open. Like, like. And like, it's like all I could do was look

at this ridiculous t-shirt. All I could see were Nini's big victim earrings. She was wearing crucifixes the size of small Baby, it's like okay, Nini. Yeah, you're the biggest victim biggest victims into Jesus. We get it needs Yeah, so Nini invited Candida to lunch and they're hoping like Candice hoping to be the start of new beginnings to launch and they're hoping, like Candie's hoping to be the start of new beginnings. Um, it's kind of funny because Candy was sort of wrapped up in that, in that, like, messy stuff with Kenya and Cynthia and that recording at the end of last season, but it seems like Nini is fine too. Nini is not going to come for Candy because she knows Candy has a huge amount of power,

so she's instead playing nice, nice with her. And Candy comes right back for her full force, which, you know, is what you have to do with bullies. If you want them to leave you alone, you punch them back, watch them cry. And then the very next season here, they come on their knees because no one else will speak to them in the entire cast, you know. Yep. So she's like, well, I guess I'll go to the highest paid according to who said that she's the highest paid. Probably me because I estimated. I mean, she has like one of them.

So I think Cynthia said it because people were saying, oh, you're always kissing the ass of the highest paid. And she said, well, actually, that's candy. Someone in the cast said that. Probably. I mean, candy must have like so many streams of passive income just from like her songwriting over the years, you know, hello, like just to have no scrubs enough. That's like that's enough, but she also has all the

Destiny's child stuff. And she also got a songwriting credit on that and she's in song. So like, Candy, like she has to be above and beyond wealthier than all of them. Yeah, so for whatever the reason, Nini's kissing her butt today. And Candy's like, yeah, I don't have any idea why she's reaching out to me, but whatever. I love a lunch, you know? Pretty much. So, Nini describes it by saying, like,

well, we don't always see eye to eye, but we see each other. Like, we understand each other. It's basically her way of saying like we're both rich and And like we're the most like we're powerful. I don't know what it is She was she was she was echoing the line where she said I see you and candy said we see each other. Yeah, right? So She's playing really nice, you know like acting like she didn't know Candy was gonna have a baby. Yeah.

And then yeah, they're talking like catching up. It's lovely. And then they start talking about Portia and Dennis. And he needs like, so Dennis, was he like sleeping with the pets or something? And then we find out like more finally we get a little bit more clarification about these rumors It's that I guess maybe that Dennis Light watching animals having sex Things like that. Yeah, I guess I don't know. She's like what do you do? Just watch it on the internet? You need to check into a pet smart. Yeah He has portion needs to be checked for a rabies rabies shot like I just loved that there's this ongoing Strange B.C.ality thing that's going I just loved that there's this ongoing strange

B.C.ality thing that's going on with Dennis that it's just like a casual thing at the top of it's like it's like Cynthia making guacamole you know oh Dennis yeah he's into like animal sex. So then she's talking about the pride parade and of course she tells it in her way she said oh well hello Cynthia hello Cynthia and that Cynthia was kind of giving her attitude. Yeah. And, um, Candy's like, well, okay, but you did just do that interview. The week you knew you were going to see them. So yeah. And he said, well, but Cynthia had done eight of them, you know, as if Nini has never never said a bad thing about anyone. You know,

she always acts as she's been forced into the situation. Yeah. And she's like, and not only has Cynthia been talking about me, but I talked to someone that we have in common. And unfortunately for her, they recorded what she said. Yeah. Don't don't don't guess who else recorded it.

All of the TV cameras, no one cares. With your stupid fight, Cynthia doesn't like you anymore. Do you understand? You're trying to start a fight with somebody who gave up on your stupid ass, okay he doesn't like you anymore, do you understand? You're trying to start a fight with somebody who gave up on your stupid ass, okay? You mess that up. You fight up another relationship.

It's over. Stop trying to start fights with people who don't care about you. And bravo is trying to make it like a mystery, even though like on the previously on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, it's Yovanna saying, yeah, she was talking to me, and I have the receipts as she reaches for her phone

to like show people something It's like it's not that much of a mystery here Another end instance where I'm just a dumbass because remember when she said I have receipts I have receipts and I was like you don't have receipts show your receipts Yeah, I'm like crazy on her because she didn't show her receipts So I guess they just cut that part out and make him a huge mystery. Yeah, because remember we said it last week We're like it was weird because she was reaching for her phone as if she was going to show something but then she never showed it. Yeah, so uh, Nini is like, well, you know, I'm seeing a life coach.

And then, and then Nini is like, I can't wait to see all these girls and I just like elicits a classic candy laugh. Yeah, she's like, I don't know if they can't wait. And then he's like, well, that's okay because she's coming. And then she makes that like wacky face and starts rolling her eyes at different times. Oh, just me, she is so wacky. So great to have her here. Yeah. Get rid of her already.

She's not doing it. Yeah, she's not contributing anything. So then we see some clips of other people doing things around town. Eva's doing something with the kid, just hanging out with her kids and then Porsche's like posing for an Instagram photo and like her assistant has a full-on lighting ring and she's like trying to show the shoes and she falls over which is actually it was funny but I was also like this is a lot for Instagram. That's Porsche though. Porsche loves an extra Instagram post. Exactly. So then we go to a hardware store and it's hilarious how everybody walks in and just looks

at it like what the fuck is this place? They look at it like it's hilarious how everybody walks in and just looks at it. Like what the fuck is this place? Look at it. It's like it's the crazy shit they've ever seen in their life. I know. So Cynthia, it goes in, oh, sorry, what we're going to say, babe. I just said, I know. I just said, I know.

I was agreeing. I was signing off on your observation. So Cynthia comes in and she's just that customer. Everybody in service hates. Like when we say, how are you doing today? We don't mean how are you doing today. It's a nice way of saying hi, okay? Your responsibility is to say, good, how about you?

And then our responsibility is to say, good, what can I help you with? Okay? We're not saying really, how are you? Cynthia. Yeah. So instead Cynthia is like, Charles, I'm renovating my bedroom so I can make space for my boyfriend, and he's like, well, that's commendable. Yeah, I'm a good girlfriend. Actually, a future fiance. Okay, Cynthia, enough. Okay.

Put your history back in a book and nobody cares. Nobody needs it. So he's like, well, I don't care. Those axes are handmade if you want to touch one. So then Kenya comes in and she's like, is that Miss Bailey? Ha ha ha. Yeah. I know it's a bunch of axes. Hi, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So Candy comes in and she's, I feel it.

Did you notice that they were making it very clear that candy is not part of their like little to some like percandy is like stuck beside these two she's stuck with these two tall people and at one point they walk away and candy is just kind of walking behind them like No, you know why no it's not that candy was left out candy was doing what I love to do in a hardware store, which is walking and be like I love the smell of hardware stores like I know at for a moment. Candy was probably like I never come into hardware stores But every time I do gosh, they I love the way they smell in here I think she was having some hardware store appreciation at that moment. Yeah, she's like Do you have any connect for games made out of crazy building materials? See no I would so of any Connect4 games made out of crazy building materials. See, no, blah, blah, blah.

So Cynthia is gonna be building her, she's gonna build a closet, because in her last house, she had a closet that was full of Cynthia Bailey wallpaper, so she wants to, she wants to just like, like recapture that moment and everything, and like, she's talking about how she has high self esteem and Kenny goes, where'd that come from?

Can't be said that. No Kenya said that. Kenya was like, where'd your high self esteem come from? Which I love. Yeah, and she's like, well, I know that everybody's saying I'm so insecure and you know, I have no self esteem But I did have wallpaper with my face. So Is that wallpaper available in 2200 Sally beauties? So candy's like well by the way speaking of I saw a Neenie and they're like what?

She's like, yep, went to lunch. I saw her. And since he was like, well, you've come a long way since we were both talking on the phone secretly and got caught after reunion. So yeah. Yeah. So Candy basically just starts relating what Neenie said that like, you know, that Neenie was saying that like Cynthia was talking shit. That's why she did that interview and Cynthia's like, I respond.

I respond I respond so that's not totally true because it's not like she was responding in all those interviews to something that Neenie is about that day but she's responding in general well she's responding to questions and she's also responding to being treated like shit by Neenie and that's a lot with you get treated like shit, you're allowed to vent about it. I believe that. And then like it's bullshit that then Nini gets mad that Cynthia is reacting to Nini's abuse. Oh yeah.

Nini is constantly mad about everything all the time. She's the biggest victim ever. So Candy's like, well, she did say she's going to a life coach and they all start cracking up. And Candy says, is it Jesus? Cause that's who she needs. Jesus. So, uh,

can't, candies. Uh, so then candy says that like, well, by the way, uh, you guys have a mutual friend who recorded you talking shit about Nini. And I, you know what? I like Cynthia's response. Cynthia's like, you know what? I don't really care what this person has.

I'm sure I was like, I'm sure I was talking about Neenie in defense of all the things that Neenie said about me. And honestly, I don't care if there's receipts, you know, because the truth is, if I'm kissing Neenie's ass and like I'm, then I'm her friend. I'm like Michelle Obama, but at the moment that I'm not kissing her ass, then I'm drawn on the floor So who the fuck cares? Yeah, she's like she can take the recordings and shove them up my ass and I was like whoa, okay. I love this Cynthia

But she said she can shove them up my ass. Oh, I thought she said her ass No, she said my ass and then it cut to her going and I mean all the way up her ass So she corrected it. Oh, but it's funny when Cynthia gets all nasty like she tries to get like real house. Why be and she always kind of messes it up, you know. I had a friend who like I remember like like 15 years ago, he used to like his way of like I'm like me like shut the fuck up or like saying something like that like how do you like it last? He would always say he always would intend to say, well, wonder how they'd like it with my dick in their mouth.

Like, it's like some, you know, like, yeah, like, I'm gonna dominate you, you know, sort of like a bro way, but you'd always mess it up. And you know, it was like, well, I wonder how they'd appreciate it when they're dicks in my mouth. Is that it, like, that way? Like, four or five different times.

I was like, I think, in my mind, I was like, I think it's supposed to go the other way around if you're trying to like But thanks now I've pictured you with a lot of things in your mouth. So that's fine You did it. We get a softly argument by doing that so things who's hilarious so next up Cynthia is Talking to evil on the phone about the Marlow wig party and is talking to Eva on the phone about the Marlow wig party and Marlow's like, yeah, I did blink three times because I got a text from her and since he's like, a group text or a private text and she's like, oh, a private one and she said she sincerely wanted me to come. And I didn't respond. I wish her well though. Good luck. Good luck old Baron woman. Yeah, yeah, they and then they start talking about, first of all, Eva's talking about how like how funny it is that Marla's even doing a wig

launch concerning that she has so many ill-fitting wigs and then they start talking about Eva and Nene's recording. They's whole recording thing and there's like this, I think is this where they're like suspect number one, Yovanna, suspect number two, Marlo and. So, I'll speak number two, Marlow. And, you know, Cynthia being the, she still will push over at hard. She's like, well, child, even though it's very obvious that one of these two women probably

did this to me, till I know better, I'm just going to be very friendly to them and share more personal parts of my life with them. They better not mess with me or I'm going to be nice to them at a party. They better not mess with me or I'm gonna be nice to them at a party. They better not mess with me otherwise I will share more secrets with them. Yeah, yes. So then we get Tanya and Portia in the car on their way to the wig launch and Tanya, you know, Tanya's like

such a good friend of she's always setting up the scene. She's like, are you ready to go to Marlos Wig Losh? Oh, wow, this is gonna be so exciting. Oh my god, my heat cedar, my, my seat heater. Oh, heat cedar, I'm so excited. I can't even say what it's on. It's on level three. Oh, it's warm. It's your butt warm, too. So she says, yeah, you know, this is exciting because it's the first time we're all going to be together. And Portia's like, no, it's not. She it's not she goes oh don't you remember the baila queue? Nini wasn't there. She's like is that why it was fun? Yeah, I was just like oh you mean that time when we all had fun. So then Portia starts talking about the you all may remember a few months ago like not long

after the reunion Portia and Nini had this like, Porsche like leaked all these texts that she had exchanged with Nini. I didn't pull them up, but it was long and it was great. And basically Nini was having a tantrum. And Porsche was just like laughing at her over texts and was like, okay, whatever, but like Porsche, so handled Nini, it was amazing.

I really recommend everyone to go back and find these texts. So Porsche starts- They can't because they were deleted, remember? So she posted, oh yeah, that's true. I'm like, no, they were only posted in one place. The internet wouldn't repeat things. If that were never archivos.

Yeah, sorry, I don't know where my brain was. That's okay. But yeah, because Portia said what happened in the closet that day. And Neenie was denying it. So she starts cursing around calling her fat and mispiggy. And she just had a baby. Porsche is like, yeah, yeah, so I was just like, fuck this woman. And so, so she basically Porsche is just setting up for the audience.

Why she and Neenie don't get along anymore? Because essentially after the whole closet debacle, Neenie was a total biaj to our sweet, sweet Porsche. And then there's this whole text thing, and I think it was the best thing that Porsche ever did was to leak those texts. It's not a nice thing to do, but Neenie needed to be exposed,

and that's exactly what happened. Right. So Porsche is basically like, if Neenie's there today, I'm not even gonna say hi. Antonia is scanned a lot. She goes, not even though, hey back, not even a hey back. Nope. blonde Porsche is called a shi- Oh my god.

I mean, I can't imagine someone saying, hey, I'm not going, hey. I hope the carnival can fix this So next step we are at the I am her event I am her she is I am her it really should be I am she and she is I but that's fine. It's called like um Pretty good nomative so anyway, so Yovanna arrives, Candy arrives, and Candy's like, oh, it's cool. There's like a wig wall and sort of thought there'd be more fabulousness here. And then we just see a shot of like all these bear undecrared

walls. There's basically like a bowl of like Reese's pieces peanut butter cups and that's it. Yeah, and Kathy's Kathy. Does that just call her Kathy? Kathy's cracking up at herself for saying it needs more fabulousness. She's like, well, that was that wasn't my sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh,

so Yovanna thinks she's like the new lead of the show. We're just the layers like. Hello, welcome, welcome to the event. She comes over in some like big long hair and this little like see-through dress. Yeah, well, she wasn't in blonde hair, but she didn't have that sort of like, she had, she had long hair.

Oh, I just want hair. I meant blonde hair. But there is a lot of blonde hair. Cynthia has like a blonde afro that looks amazing. But yeah, Yovanna, Yovanna is so done up. I almost didn't recognize her. I almost thought it was someone new, like a new friend of. I was like, who is this person? Yeah, she just keeps trying different looks because the last ones get fired. So even though I'm a totally new girl, I'm a totally new

that bitch. Yeah, that bitch. So even though, like Yovanna, clearly recorded Cynthia and has an agenda, she's still kissing her ass. And so she's like, oh, wow, Marl, I didn't know as you're gonna be here, because Marlowe thought you weren't gonna be coming since Nini's coming and Cynthia's like, nope, I'm coming on my cast member unlike you, so yeah, I'm here. Yeah, and she's just being really overly nice to Cynthia.

So Candy goes, before we go any further, are you the one who recorded Cynthia? And the famous, yeah. And you have on us like, who said I recorded Cynthia? I mean, why would I record Cynthia with my iPhone voice recorder? I would never do such a thing. I don't even know who Cynthia is.

Who Cynthia, are you Cynthia? I don't know, I'm not guilty, Cynthia is. Uh, who's Cynthia? Are you Cynthia? I don't know. I'm not guilty. Not guilty. Yeah, she's totally guilty. And Candy says no one said she did. I'm just asking you because someone mean he said that one of our mutual friends recorded Cynthia talking shit. And she's like, well, why do you got to tear me up like that? She's like, I'm just asking. And she says, well, I'm not the spy. Oh, not at all. I mean, it all I'm that bitch, not that spy. OK, I'm not that bitch. I mean, that's not that snitch. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's good.

Well done, Ronnie. Well, well, you think could use a problem. Ron, you know, if you've on it, if you've on it, we're smart, she would have said that. I'm that bitch, not that snitch. So then Cynthia, of course, like, it's like clear. The like, you're on his base, like sweating it's like, clear at the moment, like, Yvonne is basically like sweating, like,

loosening up her invisible collar and like, you know, trembling and Cynthia's like, well, Yvonne is adamant that she's not the spy, so I'll just have to take her word for it. For now. Oh, yeah, Cynthia, yeah, you're really, you're really gearing up to go to the bottom of this. Yeah. Yeah, you're really you're really gearing up getting to the bottom of this. Yeah So You've honest like is Kenya coming? Cynthia says no and she and candy's like she's

Like she squeal she's not Can you yeah, I can't do I'd that say can't oh and cuz Eva's not coming either and candy looked so sad She'd look like it was almost as if Eva had told Candy, oh, when I see you today, I'm gonna give you that permanent patty that you left at my house. And Candy had been like looking forward to that peppermint patty all day long. Like today's the day I get my peppermint patty back.

And then Eva's not coming and she's like, boop. I think she was thinking, why do I have to come to work? And nobody else has to come to work. Are we all getting paid for this episode? Because I want to get that a lot of here too. I mean, I personally liked my peppermint patty narrative,

but yours is probably more correct. Well, maybe she was thinking, what did I have to come to work when I could be eating a peppermint patty? Yeah, I could. That's probably what it was. That's bad. Like that meeting in the middle. Because you know, Candy probably eats a bunch of those. She probably sticks them in her Connect 4 set and then like releases them and lets them all tumble out.

And then Tom's like, no, my daughter cannot eat any of them. I'm going to make her death. She has to pay for her own and Kayla's like, okay. So then Tanya enters so Tanya likes she's like yeah she's like oh yeah and then Portia's with it so Portia's also in blonde and so Portia sees Cynthia's blonde wig and she's like great wigs think alike which I thought was actually a great that was like I was like that's like a teacher great wigs think alike, which I thought was actually a great, that was like, I was like, that's like a teacher, great wigs think alike.

Yeah. So then this poor intern has to give a speech and she looks terrified. She's like, welcome to Marlow Hampton's hot, elegant, drastic, hair, instal, dramatic, elegant, hot or is it hot or hot hair installation. People are like, hey, and then Marlow comes out with her, Nees is her Nees and nephew. She's like leaning on them like their crutches. Yeah, she's like, you can't make fun of me today

because I brought my Nees and nephew who I'm taking care of because of hardship in the family. So good luck trying to take me down. I have my protection. Yes, so everybody who's her and she gives a speech kind of, she's like, welcome to my hair installation. Save seven weeks for every day of the week. Whenever I'm sad, I have a wig. Whenever I feel low, I have a wig. Whenever I feel broke, I have a wig. I can be hurt. Borscht is like, you never broke, Jaime.

It was basically that Kimberly Loczong. Seven Wigs for Seven Wonders. Whatever it was called. Seven Wigs for Seven Brothers. The musical. It's basically the story of Perum. I think the story of Perum is that there's a king, Ahash Baros, who has a different wife, a different girlfriend every day of the week.

And then Esther is like one of them and something happens. I don't know. Esther's like, I'm one of, I'm her. Okay. Esther has a great wig. Yeah, Esther's just got a great wig. Yeah. Esther's just got a different wig from me.

I learned more about this on my new podcast. Ben bastardizes a pretty basic Jewish history. So Mimi is showing up. Everybody's celebratory. And then Mimi's just like sauntering up slowly. And then the music stops when she enters. She's wearing like a dress that looks like she's got a bunch of dead tunas hanging from her.

That's a dead tune. That's so there's slow motion on every woman's face as Neenie walks in, but they're trying to make drama out of nothing. And it's obvious because Candy is just bored. I was like, you had to make Candy's board face slow mo too. Yeah, he's just like, or she's like looking for the exit sign Candy's board face slow mo too. Yeah. She's like looking for the exit sign and happens to see NeNe. Literally no one cares.

It's like, and I guarantee most that footage is because like a UPS worker walked out with a box and everyone thought it was theirs. And they're like, let's just place this with NeNe walking in instead. So then Marlow gets really excited when she sees NeNe. Yeah. She's like, oh my god. Neenie's here. Yeah.

Which is so sad that she has to be so excited that Neenie showed up. But of course Neenie's fucking late to the event. Yeah, to her own friends event. So it's bullshit. Yeah. Neenie's like, hello, hello, hugging everyone. And then she taps Porsche on the shoulder. And she goes, hi.

And Porsche just fully ignores her and starts talking to someone else. Like, did you try that wig on? It was great. Yeah. And Porsche said, did you see that? That was called the PW hurt. Mm-hmm. I loved it.

And then, yeah, Cynthia and Neenie, they like do like kisses on the cheeks. Like they're all fake and Cynthia's like, well, if you're going to be all fake and kiss you on the cheek, then I'll be fake and kiss you on the cheek. I was like, oh wow, you really showed her. I'm gonna play the same game that they're playing. Kiss me, kiss me. I then, yeah, kiss me, kiss me, I'm in. And then Portia shows a lot of personal growth. She starts walking around the room going, I'm looking for the burger man. I'm looking for the burger man. I was like, wow, she really has moved on

That therapy is really working. It stopped her from just shouting out hot dog grandma. Yeah, yeah Yeah, exactly. I mean made by this time next year she might be on to front fries Yeah, she's like need me turned on me after pretending she was my sister to fuck her Got nothing for her and I don't regret that, thanks. So Marlo is like, she decided that she is going to do like a contest, and she wants women to ask two women to come up and snatch a wig from the wall and put it on a model, and then they have to like, they've got five minutes to achieve the best flat curl to hairwigs.

Of course, she chooses Nini and Portia, because she wants to stir up drama, right? So this is gonna be Marlo's big dramatic moment she chooses Nini and Portia because she wants to stir up drama, right? So this is going to be Marlowe's big, dramatic moment. So Nini and Portia are game. They get their wigs, they put on the models, they start doing it. It's like, it's actually going pretty nicely and then all of a sudden we hear... That was my first time in a draw drum line by the way. I guess you were wondering. Oh, I was like, what the hell? What the hell's going on?

That was my drum line. That was my, that was. That was the drum line. I'm so stupid. I was like, I was looking through my notes frantically like, Oh my god, I can have drums come in. And I was still like, oh my god, where is he? I don't, I mean, I don't know if it sounded like drums,

but that was my, I've never done a drum line impersonation. Maybe I should have been like Wow, that's really good actually Because I haven't cut my nails Get a good Good class I got with choice B, but I love in this first of all Second of all of course Marlowe's unprepared for her own contest. She's like, you have five minutes. I need a timer. Okay, of course you don't have a fucking time. Then, of course, it's just like dancing on the ground the whole time. And then,

Ivana is trying to jump in so she could be part of the scene. It's just a huge mess. So, Porsche wins, but then he's like, of course, I didn't even have a hair dryer hair iron that was turned on Like there were so much of these ladies just being so themselves in a span of five seconds. So yeah, we hear a drum line and The drawers come in. Yeah, they all can the drummers come in and then here comes Kenny going Can you have more hair care? Can you more hair care? Ha ha ha ha ha! Can you have more hair care? And they're wearing signs that say your edges matter. And my mom's like, what the hell is this?

Ken's like, hi, hi, and Tonya loves it. She's like, oh! And Porsche is cracking up to you, but she's like, this is so wrong. Okay, she's like, I have a wrong bed. God, I a problem I will be using that product yeah yeah she's like today your edges don't matter okay you're insane for doing this but tomorrow yes my edges matter and I will be using the product so Kenya's like well Marlow isn't known for wigs or good hair or edges she's balled to the back of her skull so I'm not

interested in supporting her wig line I have have my own hairline to support. You're welcome. And Marlo is actually pretty chill at first. She's like, oh cool, Kenya, yeah, yeah, pass it out, whatever. You know, like, you know, she's like not angry just yet. She's like, she's playing it cool. She's doing her thing. And then, you know, knees like, this is the Kenya I know.

Every time I see her, her horns get longer and longer and longer. I'm like, she literally has brought in long horns like they're playing. They're playing like they've got trumpets and trombones. Yeah, me and that's so mad. And she keeps saying she keeps trying to diss the bad. She's like, there were only two people in that band. Like another weren't and it's on TV. So nice try. So we're grapes. Yeah. So Marlow's like, does it hope all bros? The edge cream and she's like, we're not gonna talk about your unibub. Or whatever Kenya said, maybe she said, you know, bro, I know why we're down in unibub. She said unibub. She doesn't say unibub because it not sensical Okay, it's just typical Kenya. This is where she's just saying putting words together And Marla fights the same way where she's like well, you're poor. Oh Yeah, it's true so candy sees Kenya. She's like she's like you mess and Kenya's like I am a business woman

And this is a great opportunity to promote with women who are wearing wigs over their edges. It's synergy So Marla's like come on can you participate? We're playing games. Come on. Let's go this way. She goes no, that's okay And that's when Marla takes a big drink out of her hand You're not drinking on me, Mitch. Yeah, she's like if you're not gonna like if you're gonna crash this but then not play my My not prepared games then we're gonna kick you out. So she's like all right, well then security security On security is a good a I was like you need some Karen Huber in there. I know cuz her security wasn't listening to her Yeah, yeah, where's my security and then the guys like exhausted walking from the front He's like oh geez. It's basically the guys from like TV's bloopers from practical jokes coming out with

Brums and and like mobs, but like And Kenny is like well really Marlow are you trying to Kenya me? Kicking people out is my thing and then we get a montage of Kenya kicking people out of places My favorite was when she was like and you can get off my boat Yeah, I love that. Kicking someone off a boat in the middle of a lake. So, so now like Marlowe is trying, because everyone really only cares about Kenya,

which is amazing, and Marlowe is like trying to like turn the tide, and she goes, so if everyone's here to support Marlowe, right? No more Kenya more, we want you to go. No more, can you more? We want you to go. She's like doing, it's like a protest. And of course, Yovanna jumps in, you know? She's like, yeah, no more, can you more?

We want you to go. So like, basically all like the bit players are trying to do this protest thing, but no, it's like not catching on with anyone else. I know, there's like three people doing it. So then Nini is like, for some reason, Nini charges out of there. She's like, I'm leaving. I don't know why. Like, I think she's zero attention. Yeah. She's like, I know why.

I was fighting with her. I know why. I don't know why. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, she says when she leaves, she gets her bags and leaps. And then Yovanna chases her out. And she's like, Nini, Nini won't stop her car. So she hits her window and then Ninianna chases her out and she's like, me, me, me won't stop her car so she hits her window and then me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, I'm just like, girl, if you hit that window, I will kill you, get your hands off my car. She goes, where are you going?

I thought you were here to support your friend. And she's like, this is not my life. Okay, I'm not doing that for anyone. It's like, oh, okay. Okay, you're trying to have like a scene. Like, because Nini thinks this is gonna be in the trailer, like, Oh, yeah. He's trying to have like a scene like because Nini thinks this is going to be in the trailer. Like, oh, this is going to be a moment. But like no one cares. Like literally no one cares. No one traced after Nini. Like even the

valleys and probably even bother getting her car. Like, yeah, it's over there, bitch. Yeah, I think she just parked it right in front. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So of course, Yovata comes back in and it's like, well, Nini left and Porsche is like, yeah, because it wasn't about her. You know? So Kenny is like, Well, I'm gonna go, I have to check on Brooklyn. It's like, oh my god, even when you're being an asshole, you use your baby as like a defense shield.

So obnoxious. Well, I mean, they all do, right? Because again, Marla walked in with her like, niece and nephew, then Kenny does that. Like it's just like, you know, it's like baby guards, baby shields. Yes, baby shields. Even though the niece and nephew, Marla's niece and nephew are not babies, but still children shields.

You from shields, yes. You shields. You shielded by youth, which is why I am now pregnant. Yeah, so Kenny goes, she leaves to go take care of Brooklyn and Marla goes, and you wonder why you're single and paying child support. What does that mean? Don't know, but attract, unfortunately, for Kenny. That is such a Marla thing to say.

Like, wait, what? Yeah, I had to rewind it, and I was like, I think she did just say she's single and she's paying child support. I guess she's saying that her husband's never there, so she's single and she's paying child support, meaning the husband's using her for money. I don't know. You can't really read into too much of what Marla is saying because she's just putting random words to get to the show. Yeah, pretty much. She's like, Cusco card, stapler, radio. She's like, fell, crawled. So she yells after her, baby daddy is paying less than

your, less than you will or less than your old. And so Kenya's like, yeah, she's just jealous. And my product was snatched out before hers. Yeah, she makes some reference to Marlow's dusty dry wigs or something like that. So Kenya leaves and Marlow's like, oh, shock's foiled again. And Cynthia's like trying to like, trying to smooth things over and she goes, well, you know, child, she showed up, which I think was great. And then she was like, what?

Like, it wasn't like she showed up to support Marlow, okay? She showed up to troll Marlow. Yeah, Cynthia, who's so tough now and not just kissing people's ass because they're more dominant than her. Right. She was totally being nice. And Marlo's like, she doesn't like me, she should've stayed home like Eva did. Yeah, I respect Eva more.

So then, can you drive away and she's telling your friend? That was fun. I'm a business woman. I'm a business woman. I'm a business woman. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Sally Beauty. That brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Yeah, hey guys. Thanks so much for listening. Um, and we, uh, oh, by the way, we should mention We're not doing merit medicine this week because we just have so much on our plate and it hasn't been that good the past few weeks So we're just putting it on pause because instead we are going to recap project runway because it was the season premiere So we're gonna do a little project runway recap this week instead and You know stay tuned for all the programming updates. And in the meantime, tomorrow, we have below deck. We also have announcement of new shows. And I think that's it. Don't forget to come see us in Denver and Seattle and Seattle's our

Krapitz moose. So, fun times. Thank you, Ronnie, for being a friend. Yes, and did we already announce what we're doing in those? We did. We did. I'm sorry, you did it to beginning the show. I'm an idiot, but it's Dallas. You guys forgot it's O.C. No, actually. O.C. Yeah, we're doing O.C. in the first show. In Dallas. Well, that's only the first one. O.C. in Denver. Yeah, we're doing O.C. in Denver. And we're right. I messed that up. And yeah, I don't want to talk about me as racist ass again this week. Oh, no. I have to go back and fix that. I've really stripped the fun for now. At least it a live show. I'll say Christmas. Like let's keep it a little lighter. So we're going to do OC in the first show and then

we're going to do New Jersey in the second show. So we'll see you for Crappensmiths, everybody. Bye, everyone. by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.