Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Hi, Wig!

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

Tanya smuggles in Kenya's wig on this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta. Will it send Kenya over the edges? For this week's bonus about lamps and the alphabet, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham, NOLA, Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yeah, and I'm screaming for Porsche because I love her and she makes me laugh and then I'm screaming at Porsche. Like, grind! because I love her and she makes me laugh and then I'm screaming at Porsche like grind. I actually stopped the show like midway through and just started to laugh. I was like oh my god I I was just cracking up at you know the idea of of Tania trying to come for for Kenya and I was like oh God this is gonna be such a disaster and I was like I love love it. And then I was also like, this is why Kenya is such a great addition to the show because, yeah, when, as they were all talking like, oh God, she's gonna go after Kenya, she's gonna go after Kenya.

And you know, as a viewer, you know, oh God, this is not gonna be pretty. Oh God, Kenya is gonna tear her apart, oh God. And like, to have that kind of dread while thinking about a cast member is a really special thing, I think, you know, because if it were, if it were Tanya were trying to do this to Neenie, you'd be like, Oh, okay, Neenie's gonna have a hissy fit, you know, and I don't know. To me, it's, I don't, it's, it might be funny. I might be like, Oh, that'll be fun. But when

you know she's gonna try to go up against Kenya and you know Kenya is just gonna be so evil I was like I'm like looking forward to seeing how this this This plays out and I think that's the sign of a really good villain Yeah, and Tanya really is fearless she went for Neenie too and kind of for no reason So she's not afraid to fight with anybody and you know what girls got a lot of energy So I watch out for Tanya because you know that people are gonna be coming to Tania with tons of dirt On tons and tons, but she chooses the weird things to fight with like with Neenie last season She was like, oh, I can't believe you would say that fortune and then direct it towards me at the temple

I'm like that's nothing you're gonna get mad at Neenie about that's the one thing Yeah, what was that? I'm like, that's something you're gonna get mad at. Nini about that's the one thing. Yeah, what was that? What was the fortune about that she, someone wasn't gonna get married or something? Yeah, well, yeah, because it said something like, you'll marry the right person and then Nini said, and if not Paul then someone else, you know, and she said something that Nini was actually really not that much.

She really was not in the wrong, but Tanya was like, woo! Yeah, Tanya was just ready to fight. Yeah. And went for Nene, which was pretty promising, and now she's going straight for Kenya, and straight for Kenya's business. Loving.

Also, once again, another great episode, and no Nene to be found. So there, I don't know why she's a full-time cast member. There have been multiple episodes where she's not even featured. It is ridiculous. Yeah, I think my guess is that she had a multi-season contract and it's just playing out. That's what I think and that she's obviously she's getting paid a certain amount per episode.

And so they're like, fine, we're just not going to put you in a lot of episodes. Yeah, she's like, I'm leaving early. I'll come on that trip for two seconds, then I'm out. Yeah. So anyway, the episode we are back in Atlanta, where we have left Toronto behind us. And it opens up with Eva lying on a couch, reading her iPad. So we're back to some, you know, Eva who had showed so much potential is now back to just lounging on couch.

I mean, she is pregnant. So, you know, listen, I'm not gonna take the couch away from her and you know what? I wish I were lounging on a couch most days. But hello, you're on TV. We need something a little bit more entertaining than this Well, she's talking about how she's pissed off that candy went and tattletailed on her to Who is it Porsche? She's like, I don't even realize I had a beef with Porsche, you know, and now candy who I've now dubbed salt bait because she's drunk salt

And she keeps doing this thing where she's like, now I'm gonna name somebody this. And she names Candy three different things in the same time. Yeah, yeah, exactly. She was like, okay, if you're gonna stick with, if you're gonna call her Saltbait, that's fine. But then you can't just like,

then rename or something else. And be like, you know what I call her? A class A instigator. That's what I call her. You know what I call her? I call her Candy with the pot, because she's stirring the pot. You know what I call her? Candy class A instigator. That's what I call her. You know what I call her? I call her, candy with the pot, because she's stirring the pot. You know what I call her?

Candy of the vacuum, I'm calling her the vacuum cleaner because she sucks up information and puts it in the bag. You have to clean out the bag. It's like, come on, Eva, which one is it gonna be? Yeah. So she's really mad about it, but what are you gonna do?

You started it and she's like, I mean, I never even said, I never even said that word, okay? And then it cussed to her saying it. Mm-hmm, just keeps getting caught over and over again. Like if you're gonna be so big to talk behind everybody's back, then just, you know, as they say, so Lisa, Lisa Rinna says, Oh, no baby, oh, no.

Although Lisa Rinna has had a few non-owning moments that were hilarious. I don't remember what you're talking about. What are you talking about? I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember saying that. Nope. By the way, I also liked how at the top of the scene, what Eva is just lying there. She's telling us how Michael, her husband, has been telling her to slow down.

I'm like, slow down from what? What is Eva doing that is so hard to get in her life life She is one of the slowest moving housewives and again I'm not saying that because she's pregnant like last see last season when she was not when she wasn't pregnant Also very slow moving she is I don't see you're gonna see someone who's like you know Frantically doing this and frantically doing that and frantically this and that as more than the average person So I just thought it was... I mean, she drives a Jeep. Hahaha.

Is there a slower car than a Jeep? I know. I know. I mean, I know she does modeling gigs. I know she's got a kid. Okay, I get all that. But that's like standard, standard, you know, responsibilities for adults, you know.

But they make it sound like she's freaking like on planes going you know all over the country and teaching seminars and modeling and launching Salmon Flays with cream cheese in them. Okay, he's like calm down on that pizza party planning No, really stressing yourself out there. Wow. Yeah, wow So her storyline is that her husband Mike is Yeah, wow. So her storyline is that her husband, Mike, is going to adopt her daughter, Marley, and it's finally time for the name change to become official. So that's their story today.

So she's crying and talking about that. Let's just keep it in everything, but I don't need to talk about it. Do you? I don't know. I just feel like, should we be concerned that there was a siren in the background as you started talking about this storyline? It like, like, warning, warning, this storyline

will not get more interesting. It will not. Um, in Los Angeles, there's always a siren in the background. The other, I'd live down the street from a church and the other day I got home and I was laying down because you know, that's what happens when I walk through the door. I'm like, I'm exhausted. I'm laying down. So I laid down and then you know that's what happens when I walk through the door. I'm like, I'm exhausted. I'm laying down. So I lay down and then you got to slow down.

I'm like, yeah, like Eva. So I hear it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, because there's a church and it has beautiful bells that play like at random times during the day. It's playing this beautiful song and then I hear this crack head out front like, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I'm going to hit them in the head. And then I hear this crack head out front like fuck you

Wow the church bells and a crack head screaming welcome back, right so good to be back So then speaking of going back to places we now go back to the Korean spa with with some of some of the ladies Porsche candy Tanya and Marlowe And we've actually been here before. It's been, I was shocked. They showed a flashback to the last time the ladies were there. And it was six years ago. I was like, I remember this scene. I cannot believe it's been six years since this scene happened. Wow, where does time go, Ronnie?

Oh, and I've only gotten hotter. God bless. God last time. You know what, yeah, these like last time we were here, we were all going at it. So I hope they don't remember us because that was pretty embarrassing So Marla doesn't want to wear the uniform and for us is like everyone gets the same clothes you are gonna be basic today Yeah, no fashion at the spa. They'll have to wear these like varying shades of orange and sort of like weird mismatched these varying shades of orange and sort of like weird mismatched things that I think this, I think this spot just goes to local shops or whatever, just tries to find whatever's orange,

because it wasn't like they were all in the same orange shirt and the same orange shorts, it was sort of like a hodgepodge of creamsicle colors, you know? So they're all sort of like walking around and they wind up in this wind up in this like room where they're getting pampered and stuff and they're talking about, you know, orange is the new black, you know, making cracking jokes about the uniforms and stuff and Porsche is like, do you get massages in jail? Tantania is like not the ones you want. Yeah, I'm more like, hey, Porsche, I wore this orange, did you wore pork orange too, right?

And she's like, no, I didn't go to challenge. It's kind of like shot. Got there. So sorry. Again, what the hell's going on? What happened to someone fall over at Whole Foods? That'll stop the whole neighborhood over here. It's either the Russian old folks home or someone falling over in the Whole Foods. Yeah, because they were reaching for the off brand churios. Oh God. Um, 365 brand Honeydose. Oh God, I hate the 365 brand with such a

passion. Ah, you do. I really do. I really just hate their Ziploc bags because they never really completely set up. It's like, well, what did you think I was gonna do? Actually close and this food fresh. Sorry. Oh God, I feel like every 365 thing is like, now I feel weird going on the record about this, but I feel like all the 365 shit is like pale versions of big brand stuff, but we truthfully,

the big brand's probably just create the 365 shit and put it under 365 labeling, because you know that's what they do. Like all the Trader Joe shit is made by big brands, but they just are called Trader Joe's. So I know that's probably what's happening, but until I get confirmation, I'm just gonna lean in to the fact that I do not

like the 365 brand. All right, well, if it were for 365, I wouldn't have anything in my house. I would never walk into Whole Foods. I only get 365 brands. Well, you can get that every day of the week almost. But I also eat a lot of food with free to burn on it. Because I keep it, I'm like, I'm going to freeze this banana and use it later for a smoothie.

And then by the time I make this smoothie, I'm like, Oh, for damn you, 365. Never again. Hi, Whole Foods. Do you have any of those 365-zip lock bags that do nothing? I would love those things. I also just generally do not like going into Whole Foods, so there's that too.

All right. Well, I can tell, I am like, in the back of your mind, you're like, just take deep breaths Ronnie, take deep breaths, Ben is rant about something that you hold very dear to your heart. Yeah, I love me, some, some whole foods, some 365. I think you're just trying to start a fight. I guess I love you too much to let that happen.

I do like the, I do like the fresh produce and like the meats and everything at Whole Foods, like that's their strong point, but like regular stuff tries me nuts. Ben, that's true. Okay. Come back, Ben. Come back from the whole world.

I'm saying, I'm just gotta, I had to let my truth out there. Point is Korean spa. Korean spa, yes. So they're like, okay, let's talk about the trip because what the hell else are we here? Let's talk about this fight in Marla's room on the trip. And they're like, okay, let's talk about the trip because what the hell are we here? Let's talk about this fight in Marla's room on the trip and some for it's just like, all right, here's the tea I want to know about in that last dinner who's cheating who was cheating because Kenny was getting around to something

She just kept saying well, what do you think if your husband was cheating with somebody beautiful your husband was cheating with somebody beautiful Porsche was cracking me up imitating this how can you just kept turning right to time your space and going yeah But how would you feel if she was but you Really you wouldn't mind even if she were beautiful beautiful And Porsche is like well first I thought it was me, but then she kept looking at you. And yeah, she was talking about you. And Tony is like, I've known this girl for 48 hours and like a second and she's like

making me put my egg in my uterus. She's like, put your egg into uterus. What are you doing? Yeah, I was very confused at first. I thought she said she was making me put my single leg back in my uterus I was like is that some weird Canadian expression for like staying at home with your man I didn't know what was going on and then I had to like rewind it three times before I was like oh Single egg back in the uterus. I was like, I don't know. I don't know Yeah, she's like that's enough. But then she's now, you know,

now my husband's my future husband's cheating. What the hell? Yeah. She's like, you know, she isn't shot about telling me about me. Okay. She isn't. She isn't at all. I mean, you know what? Paul and I were very transparent on our social media. And if that's your definition of cheating, it does not apply to us and it just cuts the candy Who knows about the cookie lady just sitting there her eyes are going left and right like a Felix the cat clock. She's like And Marla says one thing I will give positive to Kenya is that if she's sniffing around she knows something She doesn't just come to this without anything and telling me it's like whoa wait a second maybe I have something on her and all

the girls like what's hot in Tania what are you like what does Tania possibly have on Kenya you know she's like I have some fresh maple syrup from Canada I'm gonna bring to her I've I've got something on Kenyanets in this bag. It's a hug! It is a hug! A six pack of moles and ice! Whoa! Canada's finest! Well, after she left, Canada, she sent me a text message and she said, Hey girl! I was like, hey!

She said, you still can't read it because I'd love something at the hotel. So me and Paul go to the hotel and there's a packet and you just don't take a random package across the border So I open the package and he was a phone charger And a wig Yeah, I was like oh Like I have the wig And so So yeah, I mean the girls are all like I, this is still like really fun, T, you know,

but I think we were all expecting, you know, something on the same level as cheating allegations, right? Because- I was expecting like heroin needles or, you know, like a toddler. Yeah, I was expecting, you know, Kim Zoolciacs toe, you know? But the thing is that like, you know, Kenya is coming to Tania as, you know, fishing around and hinting at, you know, but the thing is that like, you know, Kenya is coming to Tanya is, you know, fishing around and hinting at, you know, infidelity with Tanya's fiance. And I feel like the wig is like a funny, it's a funny shady moment, but it's like, that's not, that's not going to be going.

It's, it's, but it will because it will who's insisting that she's never worn a wig because of her Kenya can you can you more haircare product and they're always coming for her and then saying she's wearing a wig and even the Editor it's like Yeah, circle the wig line on top of her head during that lunch where she was insisting on not wearing a wig They made a montage of Kenya bragging about her natural hair, which was hilarious. And they made it like a murder documentary. I know they grained all the footage. They're like, watch what happens live.

And it kind of sounds like it's far back, you know. Yeah. They like pretty much like shit every angle. I mean, you're right. It is funny because this will get under Kenya's skin as much as if Tanya had said oh I have a video of Mark you know meet me got with another person you know I just Thought it's pretty bad. They play the Ding ding ding ding ding really bitch Ding ding ding ding ding ding really bitch

I have hair you do not I have hair you do not I have a face you don't have a face really bitch Really bitch and portions like you know she does have natural hair under that wig And she says I've been telling y'all for years to choose a secret shopper of go naked hair and that's okay I'm not gonna tell you the account name she buys it under but she does So then tanya wants candy to bring the wig to Kenya. So Candy is like, you know, you always call me KMZ, but not, and then you wonder why I'm in the middle shit, because you're making me bring this wig to Kenya.

I'm gonna call you KPS. KPS costal service. Caddx. So then Candy is like, you not come for Kenya unless you have some savage moves, which I loved because you made this little fist and she'd been singing all week on the promos, you know? And it's so true, like I love that.

She's like, you do not, like you have to have savage moves if you're going for Kenya. And that's when I sort of stopped and started laughing. I was like, this is hilarious that there's this person on the show that is so crazy that like, if you were going to try to take a stab at her, you have to bring like such an A game, you know, and I couldn't tell was Candy saying that Tania was bringing a savage move or not. I think she was saying she was not, but everybody was cracking up because Tom is showing them the wig and Marla is dancing around with the wig. So I have that wig. Oh, I have it. Marlowe's like, this is how she fools you. And Portia says, that's why she got mad. I mean, I guess she had one on the whole weekend.

I thought she just had one on that day. And Cynthia's like, yeah, I mean, it was obvious. Let's see how to wig. And then the producers again put on screen. Kenya's different looks from the entire weekend. She'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So Eva is in her Jeep waiting for Mike somewhere and she's talking to Cynthia on the phone

and she's really nervous about going to the court to get this, this name change because the sperm donor, it might show up there and cause trouble and object to something. It's since he's like That's great. I've got something called two-buck chuck that I'm having mag Mal unbox right now. So can I call you right back? Love you back. Yeah, Cynthia literally because he was like yeah I'm just really nervous because like what happens if like the sperm donor shows up and like this is a really big deal for me Da da da da da da and Cynthia goes well You stand the course and we'll be eating pizza

and I'll be drinking margarita for you. I was like, that's great support, Cynthia. Like, listen girl, I'll be eating this pizza on your behalf. Thanks. Thanks. Yeah. So then we get like that piano music again, a branded playing. Really bitch.

Well, not only that, it was like this piano music was playing. And then we saw a close up of someone actually playing a piano. I was like, I don't know, what is this artistic moment happening right here? And then it, and just like, I don't get it. And then music then sort of starts becoming like Edward Cisterhands, because we see Portia and Lauren and the baby, like walking around and there's like a baby point of view. And the music is like, woo woo woo woo woo.

I was like, is Kathy Baker your favorite gonna merge? I'm not sure what was happening here, but they were shooting it like half of a horror movie. I don't know what was happening, but the Stroller cam going up the stairs. I was like, is this signifying that the baby is drunk? Like what is going on here? I really did not know. I did not know. I was fully expecting Edward's signifying that the baby is drunk? Like, what is going on here? I really did not know.

I did not know. I was fully expecting Edward's his or her hands to show up and be like, it's your new baby sitter. So they come in with the baby and Miss Diane is there. Mommy Diane. And they start talking about how Porsche's Dennis showed up to reengage, reengage Porsche, basically, reengaged and she's like well

I thought it would be nice if you guys talk to him so then he can say his side and apologize Maybe and Lawrence like he doesn't have a side, okay? Like he can apologize, but is there a side? I don't think there's really a side to it It's like yep, you know, and she's like no, no, no, but he wants to say you know He wants to say his piece that I don't know. And Lauren's like, is this mandatory? Do I have to do this? Yeah, well, don't feel bad. Dennis doesn't want to either. Yeah, and nearly does the audience. So, yeah, Lauren has a good take on it. She basically thinks that like, they're all like, Dennis is doing all these grand gestures, but like, and Portia

seems to be falling for them, but like, it's the grand gestures don't mean shit. It's all about what he does, you know? and that's my that's been my concern I've been very scared that Porsche is gonna fall for it Yeah, and she's like, but this is different I'm like, oh good And she's like, but he can't tell you all you sorry because he's contentionally blocked and Learned like he is not blocked. Yes, he is and his mom goes. he is not blocked. He's like, yes he is. And his mom goes, he's not blocked anymore. He's like, he's started a costume.

I don't think that Miss Diane or Lauren are obligated to unblock Dennis, you know? I mean, maybe it's probably would be important, you know, as he is the father of the baby, and if there was an issue that they should get in contact with him. But you know what though? He fucked up and yes, like, I don't know. I just... I'm just so anti-denous that I'm just gonna always take whatever size against him. Yeah. I'll take, I'm just taking stands for no reason.

Uh, well, Eva got her baby name changed. It is now sterling. Boom boom boom. And then the song really bitch. Yeah, yeah, I go really bitch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, gone with the wind fabulous, which really because we're like killed that song.

I'm so excited. I'm like, crappies. She's saying that song live. Loved it. Yeah, by the way, just not nothing to do with the Katie other crappies, but you know, Michael Sterling, the father, I actually really like him. And I really hope he doesn't turn out to be like a dickwad, because I'm like, you know, he's

actually a pretty good guy. I really, really hope it works out with him on Bravo, you know, because we've been down this past so many times. Oh, these guys seem great. And the next season, he's like like just the worst Yeah, but usually the guys are obviously the worst and he's nice, you know Usually the guys are like Matt. It's like people that you don't have to really You guess a lot about yeah or anybody that can you dates or really Porsche, you know any one that pours your dates, you know Or really Porsche, you know any one that pours the dates, you know, I'm just worried. I found somebody on Facebook And I said that I wanted his firm, but maybe I would marry him as long as he signed a

What did she want that guy to sign? She wanted to have a baby with a guy, but he wanted super. Todd. It was like a great baby nap Yeah, that's what she that's right. She wanted a pretty baby nap and he was like bye Yeah, it's time for She wanted a pre-baby nap and he was like, bye. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows? It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. The crap in this commercial. So, Kenya and Cynthia are meeting and Cynthia is like, I see you have a peach bulini. Can I have that? Yeah, and Kenya shows up dressed. She has like Leaves on her skirts. There's a lot of talk of like oh, I see got your leaves. You got your red shade But she's like, ah, I got my shade ready. Like are my leaves beautiful

And Candy comes in a snake outfit So they're all doing odd things today, costume wise. Yeah. So Candy's like, well, I heard about a guy with a snake. So she tells us a whole long story about why she's wearing a snake outfit. Basically, she heard a story about a guy with a snake, and he would sleep at the snake. And all night, the snake would sleep with him. And then the snake stopped eating. So the guy took the doctor to the snake to all night to snake would sleep with him. And then the snake stopped eating.

So the guy took the doctor to the snake to the doctor and he said, doctor, he's not eating. Is he okay? And the doctor said, is he sleeping with you? Because of he is, he's sizing you up to eat you. And that's why you can't leave snakes lying next to you. I mean, do you need to go the doctor to find that out like? All right, here's one thing I'm not gonna be doing anytime soon sleeping with a pet snake, right? I used to have a snake For real? Yeah, I had a five-foot ball python and I used to sleep I thought I was because my cousin Jim who's always really cool had one and says like I want one cheese You had a five-foot python that you slept with yeah

Felicia no how do you even but first of all how do you even sleep with a snake how does that happen she would sleep around my neck I'm like slither around oh Jesus but not squeeze but like pulse like oh Felicia yeah Felicia my snake oh God, I cannot believe you're alive. And I would drive around with it, it would go under the seat in my car and chill. Oh my God, I was never, man, I know that people,

I know that people like snakes as pets or whatever, I, they're not my kind of pet, but I feel like even if that's a pet, like don't sleep with it, because it's not, it's like it could, how many news stories do we need to have of someone who's like Oh yeah, I have a pet boa constrictor the guy had a pet boa constrictor and the boa constrictor got out and killed him Yeah, well, I wouldn't do that today. I was just in high school. It says like I'm a badass

I sleep with a snake named Felicia, but I was always of course kind of terrified at the same time with the snake, even though she was really nice to me and stuff. But every day I'd be like, yeah, my snake didn't, like try to kill me today. I'm a baby! So what happened to Felicia? She died. And I know that there's an obvious joke. I think I killed her because what happened was,

this is actually kind of pissed with the show. She got sick. She stopped eating. I'm not even kidding. She stopped eating. I'm not even kidding. She stopped eating and so I took her to the doctor. No. This still sounds like I'm making it up but my family can verify it. I took her to the doctor and the doctor said that she had an infection and he gave me Shots to give Felicia and so I was giving her shots and I think I slowly stabbed her to death because I Didn't know really how to properly give it shots and he showed me how to do it And she did not like her shots by the way

And I was like God be calm Felicia. You're getting a shot. We all have to do it But then you know, I woke up one day and she was dead But she dead around your neck. No, she was in the closet. She had like a little room closet sometimes that she's left in. This is making her. I mean, I don't know how we've gone. This is where our eight-year anniversary is on Saturday in Columbus, by the way. Have you? I don't know. I must have mentioned my snake, Felicia. I mean, come on.

I mean, first of all, it's hilarious also that you have a snake that is named Felicia. Was it named after Felicia Rashad? No, it was named after Felicia Galant from another world played by Lentidano. It used to be my favorite soap opera. You have a snake named Felicia, named after Felicia Galant from another world, and you would sleep with a snake, and sometimes a snake would go over to its room. Yeah, when I was gone, he would drive. And he would drive.

And he would drive. When you were nine? No, no, I was in high school. Oh, yeah. And then sometimes this snake would just hang out underneath your car seat while you were driving. Yeah, when I was going around. I'm like, my, if I ping the snake, my friends would like like no, I'm not driving in this car with your snake you fucking maniac

That'd be like, I'm cool Like bless your heart RIP. Sorry if I killed you It was either you or her so you know, I know but then when candy said that I was like was would Felicia have eaten me? Yes, like was this the problem the whole time because I'd never heard that story like oh I know but then when Candy said that I was like, would Felicia have eaten me? Yes. Was this the problem the whole time? Because I'd never heard that story. Like, oh, Felicia was probably trying to size you up because there's no way she could have eaten me.

Right? But she would just take bites. She would strangle you to death and then she would just, in my mind, I think she would strangle you to death and then just go, look, I mean, those boa constrictors would ever kill things that are so much larger than they are. In my mind, I think she would drag you to death and then just go look. I mean those bow instructors would ever kill Kill things that are like so much larger than they are and then they're like all right. Yeah This is it for the year. I mean they kind of have actually dieting down to a science I mean talk about intermittent fasting like okay. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna eat a goat and then

I'm gonna spend about 400 hours before I eat again I'm gonna spend about 400 hours before I eat again. Okay, point is Kenya Cynthia and Candy are talking and we just heard this mixed story and Kenya and Candy both ordered crab cakes and then Cynthia orders chicken skewers and stuff to go. Like five things. Yeah, so Candy and that's important

for later in the story. Yeah, it's important for us for later. It's not important on the show that much, but it's important for us. Yeah. So candy is telling them that she met up with other girls to get a foot massage. And Cynthia's like, well, thanks for the invite. And can you guys, oh, the place in Duluth, you know, they're both offended that they weren't invited. And candy's like, well, you remember when you were

hinting at the table that someone had a man that was it. Faithful when you were hinting. Like hinting really badly. And Candy was like, I was just bringing, I was just asking questions. Ha! So the way that comes off and delivers crab cakes to Candy. crab. He appetizer, which was quite large by the way Yeah, and Kenny goes I ordered crab cakes, but only she got them Yeah, and this poor waiter who suddenly has to go face to face with Kenya more of all people is like I assumed her

Was an appetizer I assumed hers was an appetizer. Uh, it's kinda just giving her a look like. Who the fuck do you think you are to think that she's gonna get an appetizer and not a vote? Yeah, she's like, mine weren't appetizer too. And he's like, okay. Those cupcakes look beautiful. And he's like, okay, I'll bring them.

And I was like, what a shock that can use a dick to waiters. What a shock. What a shock. Oh man, this poor guy. They probably told him, like, listen, some of the real housewives are coming in today. shock. Oh man, this poor guy, they probably told them like, listen, some of the real housewives are coming in today, we're going to put you on the table because you're our favorite waiter. But don't worry, I have to take their order and it's very easy. Like, but I don't want to be on TV. I'm scared of being on TV. Don't worry about it. It's really

cool. It's really easy. Done a million times on Bravo. Nothing will happen. Just just make their, just, you know, take their order and bring them their food. It's fine, you'll be fine. And now here we are. Yeah, now he's tied up and they dumpster out back. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha hinting at her that it was her husband and then I thought about when you were talking about the cookie lady and kidney goes Oh did we tell you about the cookie lady? So guess what while the meanwhile like a day after the spa day We see this in the flashback Cynthia's like well, I didn't really think it was that deep So I told Tania Tania and so then we see her telling Tania about it and Tania's like I see the guy's girl. I just I don't think it was that deep. Oh her telling Tania about it and Tania's like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh House of Love or Hibachi! So, Sempthy is like, Well, I was happy I told her, Will, can you be happy that I told her?

No, but I'll deal with Kenya. Oh yeah, you were very scary Sempthy. So then, Candy's like, oh, S- No, R- Ali, I have- W- So she, like, brings the- She, like, gives Kenya the wig, that's in, like, a little bag.

And, Ken- Keny was, like, pretty chill at first. I don't know if she was caught off guard Or then also simultaneously filling with rage very quickly. But like, she was caught off guard first before the rage kicked in. She says, oh thank you. I asked her to bring that. I asked her to. Like, oh yeah, yeah, totally new about this the whole time. It's not a secret at all.

And Candy's like, yeah, but then everybody said you had a wig on the whole time. She was, I had it on at the festival. And if I had a wig coming out of my ass, what does it matter to you? Yeah. So yes, it feels like it's not that deep. It's not that deep. And so, can you just like, well, is that deep? Because I have a very successful hair care business. Oh, like, you have a hair care business. I don't know how successful it is. And candy, so, uh, Sally Beauty supply. How dare you? It's pretty successful.

Oh, that's right. I forgot. She is in Sally Beauty. I take it back. Yeah. And she had an Instagram post this week, where she's like, that's all my real hair. And she has a hairdresser showing every single inch of her scalp, which is funny because this wig goes

under your other hair. But okay. So she's like, you see, oh, candy says, well, she said that you came at her about her eggs. And candy's like, now see, that's fake. I've had many conversations on the fun with Tanya about IVF. And I mean, come on. I mean, if she was more than happy to talk to me about it in the room.

Yeah, so now Kenya is starting to like, now she's starting to get really mad, you know, because she feels like, she's like, oh well, I, you know, I never came at her. She always seemed happy to talk about the IVF and now she's making sound like I was like cornering her whatever. She's like, so she's like, you know, now I do have a problem. I've only tried to help you. So then I was like, oh, this is gonna be a blood bath. This is just gonna be terrible. And they can't help you. They show a close-up of the white bag with a wig in it under the table. Yeah. I did notice that. That was like a funny cutaway shot. And can you guys? And I do have to you about her. Your is with a bitch and she's rabbit in Tanya So she goes a beautiful girl stunning beautiful. It's like she really does say beautiful a lot She goes she is messing with the wrong one. Okay. Does she not know that I am the shade assassin? I'm just I am so nervous for Tanya right now. I just see this

sweet little deer in the In the road about to get run over by Mac truck. I'm very nervous. I wouldn't be so sure I believe in Tania and I'm at I Kenya, so I'm I cannot wait to see what Tania pulls out for this Well, who knows maybe well Tania made just like revert like lean on her Canadian niceness That might that might save her she's like no her Canadian niceness. That might save her. She's like, no, isn't this understanding? No, of course I love you, Kenya! I don't know.

It's gonna get brutal. Well now it's time for a pizza party. Oh yay. Going to prove that you don't have to be rich to be on this show. Let's go to a Jackie cheese for the next housewives party. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, so that it looks like Eva's, they never really explain what's happening, but we just were

perhaps to assume that this is a party to celebrate Marley getting into her becoming an official sterling. Yes. Yeah, that's what's happening. So then they all start talking about the wig thing. Tania's like, I'm so did you deliver my package? Yeah. Yeah. And then, you can't just like, um, so did you deliver my package? Yeah, yeah, and then he can't just like see now, right? She wasn't too happy with you. Well, she can say whatever she wants at the end of the day. It's a wig No, and Cynthia goes, well, you didn't know she was wearing a wig. I mean, it was obvious she was wearing a wig

So now they're all trying to make it sound like of course, Kenya was wearing a wig. So now they're all trying to make it sound like, of course Kenya was wearing a wig. It's just, of course she was. Come on. Kenya is the one who says never. Yeah, and Tania Basley says that she just, she brought the wig to the spot, just like, oh well, she was just gonna give it to Kandy and have just Kandy bring it to Kenya,

not be a big thing, but then when Porshios are riling her up essentially, talking about that Kenya was insinuating that there was issues in Tanya's marriage that's when Tanya was like I'm gonna switch to overdrive and be like I've got the tea! As in Toronto! And Candy tells her well she didn't confirm that she was talking about your husband cheating and even it's like wait a minute whose husband who's husband's cheating? And can't he's like, we don't know because she never said. And even goes, where's my husband?

That's looking around the room. So then we go over to Portia and Dennis and the baby. And we're finally at the family summit and Dennis surprises Portia by saying that he's also invited his mom, Gina to come to this family dinner and Portia was not expecting that. And Portia seemed to really put off by that. I wasn't totally sure why, but um, because she was supposed to be apologizing to her mother and sister and now he's bringing backup because his mother always sticks up for him. And she's like, yeah, I need an apology. Like this isn't about your mother standing up for you. Like I need you to apologize to my family so we can move on.

Yeah, I was sort of my, yeah, my take on it was that basically also a mom softens him. And so it's like no one's going to go in on him if his mom, I guess the same thing if his mom is there. Yeah, because his mom's tough. Yeah. So of course, just like, well, this is going to be awkward for everyone. And it goes, yeah, but the issues we had, isn't an issue for your mother and sister, right? She's like, uh, yes, it is their issue because you cheated on me. So let me just give you that little tip. It is their issue. And they're, yeah, they are your issue. Okay. Exactly. So, um, so Lauren and Diane come over and they're like, oh, and they're all doding on the baby, but they're fully ignoring Dennis, which is great.

They're being so sweet and lovely, but their backs are turned to Dennis. He's trying to give this smile, this charming smile. Hey, look at me. Future, sun and law, angel, right? And they are just not falling for it. Yeah, he's like, God, long time no see, right? And Diane says, Oh yeah, long time no see, but we do see the baby in your face every day. Yeah. Two of your faces, but only one of them is blocked.

Crazy how that works. Yeah, she's like, yeah, we see your face in the baby. It's really, really annoying to us, but we see your face every single day. So then his mom comes over, Momadjina, and it's pretty awkward. And Portia is still, you know, spinning this positive thing with us. She's like, well, he's sitting down with my mom and sister, and that's putting his money where his mouth is. Mm.

So they all sit down for dinner and Dennis is like, in full Dennis charm, he goes, cheers to the food. Like, wow, well said, Dennis, well said. So he's like, well, I could have done this individually, but you know, I already had a conversation with my mom. We couldn't have gotten to this point without you guys helping with PJ.

So thanks for that. Me and Portia have been through some rough times in the past few months. And Lauren's like, I felt like a year. Yeah. And then, yeah, and Gina's like, yeah, I mean, yeah, it did feel like a long time.

Gina's like wondering whether or not she should be putting down Lauren or just rolling with it. It felt like she was about to push back and then she was like, oh, I guess maybe I should like, I'll just be quiet, never mind. Yeah. And so he says, well, you know, we were dealing with my infidelity, I understand. And we have more work to do, but at the end of the day, it's important to stick with each other and root for each other even in the down times.

You know? Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's like, you know, we made a commitment and we need to stick with each other during the downs and root for each other on the ups. I'm like, no, don't talk about accountability, but then like sort of imply that by saying, oh, we all need to root for each other or whatever.

It's almost taking it off of him. Like, this is like a failure of the family unit, not just him. I didn't like that at all. Yeah, and then we find out he's saying, you know, the mom and they have the baby, but they're blocking him. So he can't even call to check on the baby. And Porsche is like, come on, Danny, that's not true. You were on the iPad. You were on the iPad. I couldn't understand what you were saying about the iPad.

She was saying if he wanted to call the baby, he could call the iPad. He doesn't need their personal numbers or whatever. Exactly. And yeah, because he's just trying to slither out of this. And by the way, the other thing I don't like about him saying that like well, I made we made a commitment to stick by each other It's like well, you're the one who violated that okay? If no one's at fault because they didn't what like Cheer you on or root for each other during the downs or something like that No one like you're the one who broke that commitment so don't don't don't sort of

Quietly guilt the family. Yeah, of course, just like, why would my family be reaching out after reaching out to you after you cheated on me? Like, what the hell? Like they were, they had to hold me up physically. And Lauren says, yeah, and you know, like, you know how difficult it is for me to be a single mom. How could you do that to her? And Diane says, yeah, I didn't wait all these years for my daughter me to be a single mom. How could you do that to her and?

Yeah, Diane says yeah, I didn't wait all these years for my daughter to just be a baby mama You know now she's joined us all in the statistics, you know, and I was really heard about that Yeah, I was surprised that Dennis did not pull out the old But what about me no one reached out to me like I was fully expecting that maybe it's because I'm just so used to watching jacks on Vanderpump rules because I thought that was going to be the next line out of the smell Well, he kind of was saying that right. I thought he was kind of saying that when he was like, um, you know, like we're going through a hard time and then you just cut me off He I guess you're right and then and Porsche is like, you know, well, you know, I guess what your mom didn't call me during this either so there you know and And she's like, you know when I've been in the wrong Gina has been very swift in letting me know that I've been wrong. And then we

get a flashback. I'm assuming to maybe their little spin-off show where Gina was saying, telling poor show, you know, you better have a private ceremony or whatever and just get married. I mean, do you want to be a baby mama or a wife, which was very, I want to say it was foreshadowing, but like the easiest foreshadowing in the world because everyone was foreshadowing this before anything like after the first episode of the Dennis. So the 90 tattoos of other girls' names was probably the biggest foreshadowing.

Seriously. So then he was like, well, okay, look, I get that, but after I heard what happened, I blasted him every day. I just didn't know where it was my place to step in with you And so porc was like I appreciate that and Dennis is like but today is for an olive branch. So let us fix it Yeah, I'm like, hmm. I just feel like I

Get this feeling like he is ex- he expects that because he says these things, he goes up, he reproposes, he does all these things that like, that he therefore expects everyone to be like, oh, okay, you've changed, everything's fine now. And I think that's, you just have basically have to, you know, eat your humble pie until people have healed if they ever do and decide that they want to trust you again. And I get that And I get the feeling like he doesn't understand why, oh, I've said I'm sorry, so why haven't they just fully accepted me, why have they, you know, why I said what else do I have to do?

It's like no, what you have to do is you have to be patient and wait for people. Well, I'm a sucker because Porsche is like, he's my best friend and boom, and starts crying, and then he's crying. And I'm like, oh God, he's my best friend and boo. And starts crying and then he's crying. And I'm like, oh God, he's crying. Now I feel bad. Not thinking.

Well, I felt bad for her, not for him. I did. I was like, oh, maybe this can work out these crazy kids. I don't trust him at all. I don't trust him, never have. I don't. And she's like, well, him showing, he just showed that my family's feelings are important.

And I've never had anyone care enough about how my mom felt and how my sister felt to apologize. I was like, oh, you made him do that. But okay. Yeah. Also, this was such a fake display in my mind. I mean, just because you have dated losers in the past who didn't even care to do this, doesn't mean that therefore Dennis is, you know, some sort of great gentleman.

I mean, who knows? Time will tell. I'm maybe I'm just being caddy. I reserved the right to be caddy, but honestly, it felt very insincere to me. Oh, man, well, we end with another sad portion of scene. Come on, show, stop doing that. Show keeps giving us such fun episodes. And it's like, I know a terrifying horrible portion seed all cry about I

Know well, we did also get a trailer for the rest of the season which looks really good And I'm so excited to see how this tania and Kenya thing shakes out. That'll be very fun. God and Neenie spitting it Kenya. Wow Wow Well, that's something even for Neenie So we will be back with that I think we're off the next couple of weeks of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I have to check that I read it on Facebook I don't know if it's true or not, but yeah, well this will be back when it's back. Yeah, I mean we'll be back every day Anyway, we're just always around

Everybody thanks so much for listening. We'll see some of you in Detroit and Columbus this weekend for Vanderpump rules and Real Housewives of New Jersey. Go over to WatchartCrapers.com for your live show ticket links and bonus episodes. It's Seth Rach. We love you guys! Bye! Hey, prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapcraftens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.