Watch What Crappens - RHOA: In-Spain in the Membrane

Episode Date: February 20, 2018

**Audio alert! We’re in NYC this week for Crappens Live and the audio is spotty. Sorry! The Real Housewives of Atlanta go to Spain, and NeNe has lots of Spaining to do. For our bonus episodes and premium extras, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on you old bros I'm Ronnie Kerr from the Rose Pricks bachelor podcast and here I am with the gorgeous immeasurable innumerable Wapoh then Madelker the beside blog and the banter blender. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. I love you so much. I'm just pulling random adjectives.

I know. Do it in numerals. No, I'm the numerable. There's like, there's so many of me. That's what a numerical means, right? That's numerous. So you guys, we always start these shows. It's like multi-benity. That's numerous. So you guys, we always start these shows. It's like multi-benity. That's like hard to remember words. We usually start these shows telling you, Condora Live shows, Condora Live shows. And yes, you must.

This one we're starting in New York City saying, Condora Live shows like the one that we're about to do tomorrow. And I at the Barry ballroom for 600 and sent people. Yes, mother, but it's going to be so much fun fuckers. It's going to be so much fine. Yeah, it's going to be I am beyond excited. I cannot wait. It's going to be like pure madness, bedlam craziness. We have a for those of you who are who got VIP tickets, we are doing a meet and greet. What time is the meet and greet at Ronnie again?

It's two hours before the show. So the shows at nine, the meet and greet at seven. Yeah, meeting reads at seven. Doors open for everyone at eight, eight, eight, eight a.m. I'm like eight a.m. eight p.m. shows at nine. It's at nine. It's a late show, okay? 8 p.m. shows at 9. It's at 9. It's a late show, okay? But it's going to be fun And it's really going to we're going to show DJ James Kennedy what a Tuesday turn up see you next Tuesday Coachella event is really about okay and just to set the scene we are both in New York Ben. Is it his family's home? You'll have to look gorgeous from the Instagram and I am in a loft hotel in Soho because I was like, oh, we're gonna be downtown I'm gonna be crazy and stay downtown. I've never done that when I lived here. Never lived downtown

so I Got this like little loft hotel and girl. It is a corner Of them the closet. It is just like like a loft there's a bunk bed in here and it's all made out of tile and the toilet and shower are in the room so you're in a prison cell that's pretty much that's a prison cell like in there's bars on the window and it's not some island called rikers I thought it was gonna be like an exclusive resort but it turns out there's like a lot of people in here. It's actually really, really beautiful. It's just really tiny and it at those and there's

so many places. Someone's probably going to knock and tell me to shut the fuck up because here I am yelling in a tile room like a crazy person on a bunk bed like a child. So I'm also on a different mic. I'm on my travel mic. So if I sound cray-cray today, that's why everybody okay? How has the downtown experience been for you? Have you been reenacting the big opening number of little shop of horrors? It is nothing like that. Well, it's very nice for it. It's very pretty, but it's like a ghost house, like the walking bed here. I go outside to smoke and I'm like, and people are like, oh my god, it's a fat guy, an old Navy jogging pants, you know, and they all start like running away. And then I'm like,

why am I eating somebody's arm? This is so weird. Did you? Have you seen Tinsley walking around lost looking for her blowout space? I just feel so lost down here, down town. I can't be my blowout guys up on me every side. Milvita, I am a total tourist because I'm looking everywhere for Bethany. Oh my God. That would be if you ran into Bethany. I don't want to. That's like my greatest nightmare is running into Bethany. Like, what if we ran into Bethany? That's the one person you would never think would recognize us at all. Like, why the fuck would she?

But that's like terrifying to me that she'd be like, oh my god. Is that you? Get over here, I'm co-fester. You know, you have a podcast or something? What's going on? You have pads, what's that? Like, what is it? What's it? What's podcast? What? Why doesn't want to see a people be part of like a broadcast people? I got to have a kid like what's going on? That's a joke. Okay. Okay. I'm not swallowing your tried to do it. You're Figgy tober retail. Get out of here. I would be terrified, but I feel like if I saw her within 24 hours of our live show, I think something would come over me. I'd be like, Bethany, you have to come to our show.

You have to. By the way, I actually wrote a comment last night, like two or two 30 AM on Lou Wands Instagram page. I've never done this before. And I was like, because she posted something like two hours prior to me, like, which we like girls, I'm doing cabaret. Look at this dress. And I was like, Lou Ann, come to our show at the Barry bottom.

It's sold out. Hoping that should be like, oh, the people, the people need me. But I'm no response. I also tweeted at Adam Ripon. I don't know why that makes me laugh so much, but it is. It's hilarious. I tweeted at Adam Ripon too, along with the rest of the world, including people like Britney Spears.

And I was like, Adam, you have an open invitation to come on to Watch Your Crapins. And actually, I tweeted that thing as being sort of like novel and then like two days, like two hours later, Britney Spears was like, at Adam Ripon, you were hilarious, you should come to one of my shows, like well, I can't compete with Britney Spears.

I hate to be rude, but who's Adam Ripon? He is a global sensation. He is, no, he is the American figure skater who the gay, I'm exhausted already just from Los Angeles but the theme of his figure skis his like

uh... short program or long program or whatever it was his team was broken bed he he he he he he i was wondering what all those tweets meant you like who's at him with the broken bird they gotta get this skating as a figure's and they said such and such uh... was it was a matter was like what's going what's the broken bird? I gotta get this skating as a figure and it's such and such. It wasn't matter. It's like, what's going on? What's going on?

Hey, this is totally something I should have said offline, but are you back up recording this just in case? I'll do it right now. I'll press record right now. This is a vacation episode. You never know what's going to happen up in here. I can tell you one thing That's probably gonna happen one of my parents will probably walk in the door Because I am here once again broadcasting for my childhood bedroom And my parents are in the other room and I told them okay guys I'm gonna go record that means like don't come in here and as we all know

My parents are masters of stealth which means you hear the creek of the door open. Man, you're mad. You want them to snack. Man, where's the tape? My dad will probably walk in here, poor thing, just having such a rough time at home. I said, Dan, what are you doing? He's like, taking care of your grandfather, taking care of your mother.

I undercooked a brisket. I said, Dad, this is like your version of falling down. You've never complained my whole life. Like you could sit on my dad's head and he'd be like, Oh, how lovely it was my spending time with you. You know, how much every time you could afford. He's like having a breakdown. I said, just come to New York, he probably would.

Well, maybe he'll take a lunch order from you again. He'll be like, if you heard of that broken bird guy, God, what a gay. What a gay. So needless to say, things are going quite well here in New York. But who cares about New York when we could be talking about Barcelona? Hey Barcelona, if you're there, we're sorry.

We brought the Bravo brought the Goddy to Gaudy. That's a little orc newvo joke everyone. Sorry for the noise I was getting two more pillows off the top bunk yeah here did you uh did you wake up liver and cocks in the past we're never gonna go through this week you know that right I know I hear like I hear like a clacking sound like something something's dangling. Is that is there, do you have like your prison tags or do people have prison tags and do

you have them or are they dangling on? Okay, is everything still clacking? Something was clacking right now. No, now it's not. Okay. But I have to say very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very when you're exploring different corners of your jail cell. I'm holding the mic too like I'm singing in an old jazz club. Oh, okay. No, I can hear you're, I can hear certain rumbling. I heard like a little, as you were like laughing, which is not unlike the sound my stomach is making at the moment.

That is my wheezing lungs as I die slowly from emphysema as we record this podcast. Don't say that because then who am I going to podcast with? I mean, I wouldn't want you to die either, but like more realistically, I mean, the show must go on. So try to stay alive. Do you like that I have a button on this? I can press up and down from when I mute? I never have to reach for the mute button again, everybody.

It's a glorious day. So let's talk some real housewives of Atlanta because this week's episode was hilarious. The women went off to Barcelona, Spain on the big trip. Kenya was not there. Kim was not there. Although Kim's presence was massively felt, leading more evidence. I'm like, leading, leaving, I don't know the word. More evidence that Kenya most likely will be fired as the rumors suggest.

Well, Kenya is very busy running for president, you know? You know how we talked about last week, people's opening lines don't really make sense till the end of the season when you're like, oh, I get it. Like a very deep mystery. Well, this is Kenya's. Well, some were saying, I can't. I was saying I do. Like, you're not Obama, Kenya, okay? Yeah. And even if you Obama, can you? Okay. And even if you were, he already been president eight years okay, find a different job.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's a good stance Ronnie. I'm glad you made it. Thank you. She's like, yes, we can have hair products. I'm like, well, that is the oddest twist on an Obama. On an Obama. Yeah, you are not a train that's been underestimated. Okay. Think about it.

Think about it. Think about it. Okay. Little fucking engine that could. Okay. So to warn you, to warn you about the bad accents you're about to hear it. What's up? What's up? Shamiya intro them. She's like, Yeah, we're on Shamiya cam specifically. It was that was what the Kairan said. Shamiya cam, which is about it's going to be the new global sensation. Did you see that on Shamiya cam? Yes. Instead of Shamiya, because after blackfish, we can't go see Shamiya. See world anymore. Now it'll be Shamia.

Shamia will just pass people and bleachers and pour water on them, talking about accents. I'm talking about how bad they should have been handled. Okay, usually eating someone. So, they're a Porsche by her ankle and just drag her down and her bathtub somewhere. But then she'll have an inspirational movie where she jumps over like a stone retaining wall and goes out to the open ocean. So so so they get their porches like boy, Bianna chose. I was like, okay, I was like, I feel like that's probably not exactly a Spanish.

But it's actually the best thing wish I've ever heard Porsche speak. Yeah. So, uh, and Nini is talking, she's, Nini is like, oh, my boobs are falling. And Candy goes, you said, what? Candy's voice was out of control this episode. It was like in full. See now. Right. Mode. This was a very candy squeal heavy episode. Yeah. A lot of. Like I felt like she was communicating with fish.

You know, like if she was letting like, Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Sa- Son, Son of Sonic Sonic Sonic, I want to I'm like, what do you do? What's it called again when dolphins lose son sound with the son of Graham? What if she's like

It's a boy See now Amber girl Yeah, no she's she was definitely hitting some interesting tones in her voice. So anyway, so they arrive at. There was a headless man dancing in the street. Did you see that? I don't know.

There's so much art in Spain. I'm not really sure what's going on, but there is a headless man dancing in the street. No, I just sort of carried town last night. So I was expecting to see some sort of headless man dancing in the street. You know, I just sort of tarry town last night. So I was expecting to see some sort of headless figure, but unfortunately I did not, even though having been in a tarry town's data mind, I did not see any headless figures, horsemen or otherwise.

Well, Cynthia's like, you know, I got this place on group, and apparently we can't check until night. So I've decided to take these girls to lunch and she's like, everybody I don't think that's how you say it. Well, it's like not a real word. So I think she, she has, she has the luxury of being able to, the luxury of transliteration, right? It's not to be an accurate science. Only Cynthia would misspele made upward. Jesus. Yeah. I mean, sent is a real word, but since so so some of the

challenges are like pinchy guys, but I can't just like, see now, right? I'm not good. A pincher guys, but the only bird going to pinch his pants. Sounds sounds fun, Candy. I love that candy is like sexual chocolate bedroom candy. I'm not gonna point a man Okay, Candy. Let's go back to talking about fingering cornholes, okay? Yeah, insure is like Shots of the string Who do you just ask this? You're doing shots of the string? You do shots of the string? So many of the words in this episode really just made me sad. And he goes eat a delicacy. Yeah. I was working on my Neenie earlier this week.

And I'm proud to say I forgot all the progress I've made. I was like, I was trying to do like a, huh, page sound. She's, she sort of speaks like she was Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim. I'm not even going to try to do Neen meaning because I sound like just a railing stereotype. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't want to sound like a stereotype, but I feel like Mimi is like the final frontier

and we haven't really, really tried to do an indie voice and I noticed that she has sort of like a round falsetto, right? So I was trying to new voice and I noticed that she has a round falsetto. I was trying to do a... See if they're all wrong. All wrong. I'll get back. I had gotten it like, okay, I was in my car and I was doing it in my car. I was like, this is starting to get sort of like Neenie, but no, I've forgotten it.

I can never get me. I won't even do it in my car because I'm like, oh my god, someone's gonna pass me in my car and they're gonna be like, that guy's racist. Now, I know that that's silly because of course so many of these are very typical, but it's not like, Shere is very Shere. Porsche is very Porsche and candy is very candy. Okay, there is only one me and she makes me fucking crazy and I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, we're just trying we're trying

We're actively trying to sound like these women just like on any of the other shows But the problem is we're not very good impersonation Sus so impersonators delicacies and so like it gets dangerous because people might think we're just being like oh you think all black women talk like this We're like, no, no. We are trying to get to this goal of our voice, but we just can't get our voice there yet. Yeah, you know what?

As Nini's a mountain that I just don't want to climb. Like every other mountain, I just don't want to climb it. She's like K2, you know? No, what is that? Super. K2 is like the most dangerous mountain in the world. I don't know. So they are so anyway Porsche

Porsche like for the education. Yeah, it was a really quick lesson that was like not that entertaining So I'm literally rolling back and forth in bed. I cannot get over how amazing this is doing this in bed I'm sorry for the noise But I'm just giggling like a little kid and rolling back in fourth and bad. So thank you, Carrie, on please. No, I just like that I'm teaching you about all the cold weather things like K2 and Adam Rippon. Broken bird. How? How damn it?

Well, why are you calling your number broken bird, stupid? Like self-fulfilling prophecy. He's like, my. Yeah, well stupid. So, so, so portion. Yes. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so portion. Yes. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so portion. Yes. So, so, so, so, Jack Limit did everything on his bucket list, you know? It's like a list. It's like one of those lists you're just never gonna live up to, you know? It's like my goal calories for the day. Guess who doesn't make that list anymore? Me, and I'm a happier, fatter person for it, Cynthia. Get over it. You're 50. We don't care. Yeah, exactly. So they're all getting on to a party bus and Neenie starts doing a candy impersonation, which is actually very funny because her impersonations basically like, well, I don't want, I don't want to do that. Why don't you, why should I do that? I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. They all just start cracking up, talk telling candy that she's dry. Well, business Marlow is saying how dry she is. And candy. You be so dry. Speaking of bucket list. Now that's someone living on her bucket list, okay? Marlowe. Yeah. Every day is her bucket list.

She's like, on my bucket list, I wanted to wear a red flower in my hair. I'm doing a bucket list. I want to look like Flamenco and spin. Yeah, she has an adequate. She's she's busy. She says that she has an adequate class and she wants to teach candy. Some etiquette, which is crazy because if anyone has etiquette in this group, it's probably candy and it's probably definitely

not Marlow. So this one candy, first unleashes her this one, she unleashes her next, you know, noise. She's like, looks at Molo and says, Oh, I need some etiquette from her girl. Bye. She sounds like when you wake up in New York City and forget

you're there and you're like, what are all those noises? It's like a trash dumpster being lifted, a little child being run over in the street, a bus trying to make a U-turn. It's like all these things going on at one time, you know. Yeah, I think the trash, trash. Definitely a garbage truck backing up, make sense, because you got to, but then also, I hear Doris slamming outside my hotel room and I know it's like Europeans coming out like what the fuck they get the fire along to like oh these New York fire alarm so strange to the lobby let's not go shave together.

Also wasn't Marla the one who burped for like five solid minutes last week at the dinner table at the dinner table yeah and then had to and then left and then tried to leave dinner early because she was gonna like, well, is she gonna go to nursing home? Oh, yeah, she said she had to go see her brother in a nursing home and Porta is like, that's close. It's late. She's like, I have to say, candy has so many lines today and it's so fun seeing her just have fun with the girls because it's kind of rare You know, she's either staying quiet or being pulled into a fight at this time She's just laughing her ass off at everybody and she ends up seeing by go because Marla's like oh I got another good class for you and she goes I've been trying to work on also the candy skeptical laugh that

She does that you know when you say something like candy you're gonna sleep in the basement She does like that you it's like that is like you're tripping laugh I don't think I'm really really expressing it to the best of my abilities right now So I'll also come back with that. I don't know who you are. It's just hard because it's our first show of the day. It's just, it's like a squeal. It's like a squeal.

I'm gonna do this hotel. Oh my god, my parents, me me while I'm trying to do their tax in the other room. I can't even imagine what they think is happening. I think this is our son. You know that they're just sitting there looking at each other, shrugging at each other. Making plans for lunch. Yeah, they're doing that. They're giving each other those eyes like that you will sign at your side.

That's your son. Well, the lunch process is full of lots of lots of weighty decisions. Like, well, we have chicken from last night. There's fish and if you have some fish, we have steak in the freezer. Do you want that? I don't know. It's like that for like half an hour. It sounds like Fischo. Yeah, exactly.

What candy is really saying when she says, is Fischdix. So Shamiya, Shamiya starts asking about Keny and Kim. She's like, so where are Kenny and Kim? Are they coming on the trip? And they're like, no, and basically, I think they're very late. She said, you're very late. You're very late because she's not up on the news. Oh, I thought she was saying they're very late.

Yeah, and basically, Nina's like, you know, Kim can't do anything without Kroy. And then they showed this montage. Kim showing up a place is and like making sure she can see Kroy. She's like, okay, I see you. Okay, I'll, okay, I see you. It's just sure getting out of multiple cars. I mean, the same car multiple times.

It's like, okay, baby, thanks with the silo cup. She can't get rid of her silo cup either. Why is nobody talking about that? Maybe because it's called a silo cup, not a silo cup. God damn it. What is wrong with me? I know that. I know. You have some sort of aphasia. So I have some sort of phantasia.

I love that. I love that movie, some sort of Fantasia with Mary Stewart Masterson. What if Fantasia just played every role in Fantasia? She's just like the Fantasia's apprentice. Also my candy burst in personation of Fantasia. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b, the only person that has blood clot, surgery, thyroid, cancer, heart attack, weave shortage, you know, a stubbed toe, a hang nail, and it's still negative, which is kind of true. I mean, Kim is still, Kim is super negative. And she, she hasn't like all these things haven't made her have a new lease on life. She just

starts to become more and more like, I've been through this. I'm Kim's old-sviac, you know? It's true, but, you know, Nini can't even describe it right because she's like, Kim and Kroy, they have a co-dependency on each other. Like, what? She makes it sound like they've got like a ticket out on each other.

Like, uh, she's such an idiot, okay? I can't root for Nini and I cannot root for Kim. I don't know. I was kind of rooting for Nini a little in this episode. Well, back and forth, because there were a lot of different instances that were, a lot of things were happening. But I did like when she goes, she needs to have an electric stroller, which doesn't even make sense. I think she meant scooter, but the idea of being an electric stroller is so hilarious. Oh my god. And then so Sherei goes Sherei just stick up for her friend goes, I don't know about the open heart surgery. That's the only one. She was just listing like artificial ingredients and like

candy bars. Like that's the only thing you can find to disagree with. Yeah, I mean, it's like, Kim has had every disease in the book and then claims to be happy. Bitch, I can't tell. She's like, she's got aspartane, half-fruit toast, corn syrup. Lemon's disease, which is similar to lime's disease, but even more sour.

So then, like, after like 10 minutes of the show being on, like, oh, hey, look, there's Eva. And Eva's just like sitting there, like, oh, there's Eva. And she's just like, she's just like, I, you know, being a model, I just have a Zoolander face all the time around, caddy women. I just look at them and try to they beat at the same time yeah I'm not sure about Eva I know you know I know it's it's hard to jump into this cast I get it but a other people have put more time in

Shamia and also Eva I'm not really into somebody wearing glorious wants in turbines when they haven't earned it. You have earned nothing. And stop talking about the mayor. He didn't know where you are. We will get to the thing. We will get to the thing that's for you. But for some of us, some of us have been on the EVA journey for many years. And I think that we would all, we would all counter what you just said.

Because some of us were there. America's next time model season three when Eva pigford first came into a life. Exactly. What kind of model is going to go out with the name pigford? These smart and the least changed your damn last name, if you're going to say, are you saying that there's someone out there named Eva pigford who's wearing a turban and that's something you don't like? It's like the most turbany name. Like her name is Eva first of all and her lesson is pigford. You know, it's like the most first of all and her lessen you know it's like not even like Mary Pigford is pig

a turban I think it's per to approve so hard. Just I'm not saying that she's but I'm cautiously optim lines this episode, but so we'll get there when we get there, but guess what we're still not going to get to the villa. They still can't check in there. So something that's like, I would take you all to a beautiful hotel that we won't be saying at,

but you'll get to taste the luxury before we go to our Airbnb or at the New Newcastle or ABCD EFG. So they go to this hotel for lunch and they're taking pictures on the balcony. And even immediately slips into the next top model mode. She's like, smiles, smiles in the balcony. And for this, it slips right into Portia mode. She's like, yes, he's a girl. Can we talk about awareness? If she opened a model agency, she might get the baby agency up front for its money. And then she just eats like a bunch of ham and shrimp off the table. Exactly. It's funny to use the term run for run for its money when there's clearly, like, like what, like, literally 50 cents in the

coffers of the belly agency. 50 cents, whatever Cynthia says 50 cents, she's not talking about her age. She's talking about the good stuff on net worth.com. Celebrity net worth or whatever that is. So let's see. Oh, so Candy makes an announcement. She's like, see my ladies

the the good news. Meanie is going on tour with me. She's gonna host a tour and do comedy and he's like, yeah, I'll y'all get raped in the new brand. But I know I kind of felt bad for for so many years, I was like, Oh, and handy. She's so happy about me. But isn't she, isn't she, isn't Neenie dropped from Candy's tour after those?

Yes. And for those of you who don't know what I'm saying, yeah, Neenie got dropped because someone was heckling her. And she screamed, why don't you just go get rich by your Uber driver? And then she had to make all these public apology announcements. And then of course she got dropped from Candy Sturr. So Candy, trying to support a friend, once again, backfires in her face because now you know that if NeNe is back on the show next year, she will be anti-Candy for not standing over her. Oh, I mean, look at the way she's the ones candy even after candy just gave her a huge job touring arenas that she definitely deserve.

Exactly. Except what's going to be annoying is they're going to be all under the guise of a different thing. It'll be candy and I she just hasn't been talked. We were we're in such a good place. And then she stopped talking to me and then I saw her at the supermarket and she grabbed some cabbage and I was like, I want the cabbage and I just don't play like that you know it's like no this is about the arena tour this is not about cabbage but you

have to say it's about cabbage or something you know meanie is so fucking ungrateful she even comes for candy in this episode when candy just gave her the job I know I know meanie you're a ungrateful fucking cow, okay? So now I hope you're in your car right now Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast Dis and tell each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon

music or wonder yeah. So now there's an Eva moment where she's talking about her man, the guy who's running for mayor of Atlanta and then her ex she calls her donor Kevin McCall who I used to follow on Instagram, which I don't know why just I feel like I have some insight into the Eva story because of that too. So she's talking about that. She's like, oh, is your boyfriend okay with you dating women as well? Like what?

Yes, she's just like, okay, I'm gonna get a job on this motherfucking show if it kills me, okay? Yeah, I saw it on the blog. You did a Missy Elliott or somebody? I know. I'm just giving it a few, it's like Missy Elliott or Miss Marple. I don't know, there was a Missy there.

Tweet, did you date Tweet? Was it... Was it Elliott Gold? I read some of his Elliott Gold. Billy Elliott, you were dating someone on Billy Elliott. The grip, you had a kung-fu grip on Mrs. Elliot. I just, the details are so hard. Can you just fill me in?

I mean, if it's like, new. I'm just gonna be like, well, I mean, you're beautiful. It's not hard to believe that people can say he dated women or man or had sex with pigs or, you know, not fuck by a donkey one time and an elevator or I don't know for a year. I heard that you have like a sexual fetish You know, that fuck by a donkey one time and an elevator or I don't know for I heard that you have like a sexual fetish with lampshades. I don't know. Is that true?

Also, lamp chops. I mean just tell us like we totally accept it But I don't want to leave the bones on the table Like it's just gonna tempt you and like what sort of lamp I would talk about lamb tops like that you eat or talking about like sherry Sherry will say... Please say it's not the puppet. Please. And he was like, he was like, am I lesbian? The answer is no.

Did I date Missy Elliott? The answer is no. Have they ever had a girl on a girl experience? The answer is yes, but still, why are you being messy? Which, I actually thought was really funny when she said that. Because here's the thing, on an American tactile model, even with getting into fights a lot. So I'm surprised she's even being so chill right now.

Well, she said at one point on the bus when they were... Shari Lewis, by the way, not Shari Wilson. Just wanna... Um, when on the bus when people were saying, well, uh, either child, I hope this isn't giving you a bad impression of the women. She's like, no, actually, it's good to know where the darts are flying. So I know where to keep my head. So she's kind of the size, she's smizing it up, if you will, to see like who's she's going to be able to go against, not as if she hasn't watched this show for every

single season. Exactly. You know where the lines actually, no, I actually, I'll give her that because we've watched it for every season. And I still don't know where the lines actually no I actually I'll give her that because we've watched it for every season and I still don't know where the lines are at any given time I wouldn't fucking know because you never know until you're in there you know what I mean yeah like who maybe meanie won't want something from you and be nice like she's being to Eva yeah or maybe you know each other's of you and try to get you kicked off and thrown in jail. And maybe all you want to do is go to carpool and get juice boxes ready for the kids. And actually, you know, Candymore is shoving you out of a chair. Things happen quickly. So Cynthia then starts talking, all this lesbian stuff.

Cynthia is talking about how she wants to go lesbian with the candy. And then Candy says, you'll know when she and Cynthia hook up because Cynthia will start defending Candy the way that she defends will, which is a lot funnier when Candy said it. So there. Well, it's not that it wasn't funny. It's just that I have this line highlighted,

highlight, highlight it. Oh my God. I'm about to call someone stupid. So it's good that I got my hypocrisy right up there. And I call it hypocrisy. Because the hypocrisy, delicate there and I call it hypocrisy Delegate delicacy It's really a delicacy. You know why all of this hypocrisy is leading up to you Barla. Go see we don't care if you're strictly dickly or you know

Whistley-pussy or whatever she says, but it's then Cynthia Gus Now Candy you know a lesbianic relationship. Isn't on my back. Like a lesbianic. It's like a tribe out of the old country. Well, I think that she was, I think she's been tongue-in-cheek at that moment. I think she just, I'm giving you a no but.

I'm giving you a no but, not a yes and. Hypocrisy. Hypocrisy. And then she goes, but if it went out, it would be a candy child. And then they all start laughing and making fun of her and she goes, I'll for it to be served, not conserved, child. What?

I didn't get it. And I was like, I can't rewind this five more times. Oh, no, I'm not listening right there. I'm not like what you should say. I don't put a Brit a filter on me, child. I'm not being conserved. I will not be filtered. I will be synthed.

I'm like, what are you even fucking talking about? Pretty simple. Get back on the bus. So. So Eva starts apologizing to Cynthia about being messy at the party. And this sort of opens the conversation about Will, that he have a girlfriend, that you do not have a girlfriend,

and then oh, oh gosh, guess what? My parents are printing something. Can you hear it? Can you hear it? Here we go. There's a printer right next to the mic. Like directly next to the mic. Oh no!

No! I don't know, they're like, get all your printing done before the podcast. And you know what this means. It's okay, I actually don't even hear it. Well, you know what this means. That means it's gonna be a knock. And then I'll be very quiet.

That's the other thing. My dad likes to announce that he'll be quiet. I'm going to be quiet. Do you just have the printing? Do you have the printout? So, well, this is where it's in the app. just a printing. Do you have the printout? So well, this is where Cynthia, um, and it's good that your dad's going through printing, because this is about as useful Cynthia sometimes. Cynthia, when she can't yell at who she needs to yell at, just starts yelling at whoever everybody else is okay with her yelling at usually that's

Porsche. Now, this is what brought us to the fight where she kicked she got kicked in the stomach Yeah, or she kicked portion of the stomach who kicked it who in the stomach always forget oh Cindy kick Porsche Okay, this is like hey bitch. She's like don't call me a bitch She cuz this is where Cynthia starts fights with people so she can fight with somebody that she's not afraid of and it has nothing to do with the other person So in this example, guess who's getting it again? Porsche so Cynthia starts going off about something that really was meany nothing to do with the other person. So in this example, guess who's getting it again? Porsche. So Cynthia starts going off about something that really was mean.

And Kenya. Right, she's going off about Will. And Eva. Because she doesn't think that Will, she says that she doesn't believe that Will fibbed. Because they're like, do you think it's possible that Will may have fibbed and like didn't say that he had a girlfriend when he really did at some point

and she's like, no, no, no, he wouldn't fib. He wouldn't fib. And then Porsche goes, but you asked me, I was shocked by the info. Should I tell her? I should. I'm not tell her. And Cynthia goes, be quiet, Porsche. I'm trying to finish child.

This is all convo. Me and Eva's confessing. Now the blogs and then me and he goes, no, no, no, no, no, wait. Did he maybe tell you a fib? And it's totally fine for Neenie to interrupt because something is terrified of Neenie goes, nah, nah, nah, nah, wait. Did he maybe tell you a fib? And it's totally fine for Neenie to interrupt because someone's terrified of Neenie. Yeah. This is why I can never like Cynthia.

She's a f**king asshole and she always goes for the weak one because she's weak and she's afraid of Neenie. So Neenie's like, are you sure that maybe he's not a liar and the girls are sticking up for you and she's like, what, I'm gonna believe some girl I've known for five minutes child? I'm like, you knew Will less than that. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And so then Cynthia,

you know, and Porsche is feeling all solzy because Cynthia essentially just missed her and she's like, well, Porsche, when you say that somebody told you that Will is being an opportunist, that's like when you said somebody told you they can't do you want to like drug and rape you, you know. So that, that, that created like a tense moment. Although Cynthia's kind of right there too, you know, because it's not her and it's an issue that's over and it's an issue she's already been apologized to for even though it wasn't about her. So fuck off Cynthia. And then she brings up

she goes, well, we have a history of you saying things about my ex-husband that may or may not have been true. And then we see the clips of Forrest being like, well, you better see how he pays his waitresses. I think it's in penis, which is true, Cynthia. Yeah, it's true. We've all seen the pictures and we've all read the blogs and we all know what's fucking true. So why are you even bringing that up again and trying to vilify Portia? Portia's done enough. And the past. Yeah, exactly. Like, stop hanging around with slime balls. How about that? Yeah. been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble.

I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble.

I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. I feel like I've been in a lot of trouble. Marla's like, is this lingerie snack? And he's like, child, you need enough. You're busing out of your down, boo, boo. So let's see here. Um, um, I passed Uncle Ben rapes and, um, Portia goes, but she asked me to tell her in Texas, I thought I was breaking ground with Cynthia. Like, no, no, I mean, just because like Cynthia was working on Habitat for Humanity does not mean you're breaking ground. I like the Porsche just picks words from wherever she's at and just uses them. Yeah.

Breaking ground. Cynthia, I thought we had put drywall on this sink. Yeah. It's like a whole Porsche. So they all go, they're done with lunch. They go down to the van and they start talking about licking balls and stuff and like to be lick balls one of the lick balls and they think they don't none of them really like to lick balls and candy goes see now. Right. I think that too.

But it is a must. I mean, this is more disturbing because last year candy women on her whole Todd won't clean his balls. Yeah, now we see why the finished. Clean his balls in five days, six days, 18. And Portia goes that's too close to the asshole. Which is much further away than you know of the China. Well, um, uh, you know, it's I think to each their own whatever you want to do. I'm not going to comment that either she wanted to save a giant or to see what you would do. I love making you uncomfortable with the word for

China. No, I'm just trying to forget how I can segue from T-bagging in vagina to Lusca Grata familiar. I'm like that's how the show did it. They're like, you can't be like, it's part of giving hurt. Am I dripping? And let's go to church. So they go to the Las Gradas, familiar, which is like probably the top tourist destination in Barcelona. And then if they get there too late, so they can't go inside and Porsche is so mad. She's like, how does she not know the hours?

We came all the switch. That's not the hours. What's the other friend of that? Yeah. Portia, they could have just like sent her into like a best by him. I'm like, here, is this a grout of familiar? Oh, in her defense. There's very rarely a defense for Portia, but she was saying that because they still couldn't check into the room. Because Cynthia was like, Oh, we'll have lunch. And then we'll check into the room child. It's on the bucket list. But then they were like, Nope, still can't check in.

Porsche was like, how we come all this way? You don't know what the hours are. No, I think that she was talking about it with the secret out of Amelia because they couldn't go in the sagrata. No, they still couldn't check in. I'm telling you so they had to wander around the street, some by hats. The the the horror of all of this cup going bucket list. And they made Shamiya do like a dance in front of the church.

She did some sort of strange kind of like jazz, Martha Graham, something or another dance. And I like that meaning was like she's supposed to be a professional dancer. That would never work in the strip club. I used to dance in back in the day, honey. Yeah, snaps. Okay, so then we get a commercial for this movie called Annihilation. You guys, can we just stop ending the world in movies and TV shows? Like never.

Nook could go off right now outside my window. I wouldn't even care. I'd be I'm so bored with the end of the world Like can we do something else? Did you see that? Because we both actually saw black Panther over the weekend separately. Did you have the so God, but did you see the trailer for rampage before it did they show it? No, I was at a screening at the producer's guild so Sorry, we don't waste our time with that kind of things as producers. Wow.

Well, you missed quite a ridiculous trail. No, because they have it. They're adapting rampage the old video game, you know, where you play like King Kong or Godzilla and you like bash a city. And it's like the rock has been raising a little gorilla for all his years and it's like his the gorilla is like his friend is one of those movies but then the gorilla gets like doused with some sort of like weird gas and that gorilla becomes oversized but there's also an oversized lizard wolf thing

and they're like destroying a city and it is like I mean I'm not opposed to like crazy you know monster movies like that like a Godzilla movie movie. I say sure fine, but this was so This was so ridiculous. This is like it was cringe worthy. The trailer is cringe worthy and so when you talk about annihilation I didn't see the annihilation trailer, but it could not be as bad as the rampage trailer. The rampage trailer Like if you're if you're buying tickets to see rampage ahead of time, if you go to Fandango and you're buying ahead of time, please reconsider all of your life choices. Yeah, you deserve to be on I-Late, okay?

Like, I don't care if you go see it. I don't care if you go see it, you want to check it out. But if you're like, no, I'm like, I need to go see it ahead of time. I mean, if you, now I had a time, that's fine. But like a week ahead of time, you really have to reconsider things, okay? had a time, that's fine. But like a week ahead of time, you really have to reconsider things. Okay, you do.

We'll recheck your life. Next on this grand adventure is that the ladies finally arrive at the villa and they get there. There's like these gates, they walk in. There's like a little flamenco performance, which is really, you know, it's like fun and nice. And then this lady Victoria, she's like, hello, she's like the Carol Bernad of Barcelona. And so I was very excited because I felt like Victoria was going to be a large player in the rest of this episode. But they were like, okay, put her to bed now. Yeah, the way I come to the place. Like, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, Marla Gus, red bottom bloody shoes. Social media how to do a girl.

Yes, work. But that may have been a cardi B reference. Oh, I'm not don't quote me on that. Oh my God. Something I feel like I'm in a different world when I recap this show. I'm like, what were you come from? I know it's hard. You guys are tired being a Ronnie.

It's hard out there for a Ronnie. So, I'm so excited getting here. I spent days and days researching it. It's a hard group, but you know, hopefully that lift me up in a blaze of glory. You fucking moron. Do you know what blaze of glory means? That's when you crash your car in a race in a blaze of glory. Okay, you go out in a blaze of glory and die, Cynthia. Or you are listening to a banjo v song of similar name. So, um, uh, stay going to this villa and they're like, they're acting like they're being put up in the hostel from the movie hostel, okay, because they're like, oh my god. How am I supposed to get my leg out of here? See? Now, after, yeah, there's like, we're seeing all sorts of decor choices like a like a little love seat that's in the shape of lips and Fuzball admittedly the idea of these women in the same space as a Fuzball table is kind of hilarious. But um, they're actually the greatest example of terror with the Fuzball table. It's like a close-up on one of the like the soccer players on the pole like this is what's gonna happen to you. You'll become human Fuzball players.

Where did they just show a Fuzball table like that? It was like this terrifying scene. I think it was something in black mirror where they were like, look, it's a foosball. Oh, now the foosball is playing by itself. Like it's like the second time in a week, I've seen the terrifying foosball table. Like what's next to player Piano? So, hey, they show a close play in that piano. They're like this place, they're like, we're used to luxury and they show a flashback of all these beautiful villas they have to hit at and like, and this place is crazy. And they show a close up of a flower on a towel, just resting on a towel. Like, oh my God, he's a man of the oven. I know.

Well, there's been a lot of talk online people saying, don't they, I mean, doesn't Bravo pay for these? Where are they all acting like Cynthia has to use a group on in this and that? Now, normally, of course Bravo pays, but this did raise some questions, because if Bravo didn't pay, and this place was given for free for shooting, they wouldn't have been

allowed to say all this mean shit about the place, right? Because I don't clip of every single woman saying something really horrible. No, it's to me, it was pretty obvious that basically Bravo paid, but they probably have, they had to take these ladies to Houston, They took them. Didn't they go. They went somewhere else in the beginning of the season, right? Didn't they have like a little mini trip somewhere? I forget where it was. I forgot. But they went somewhere, I think a San Francisco, they went to San Francisco.

Now they're in Barcelona. They have the and they're paying Neenie and they're paying Kim Zolciak. And especially if those rumors are true that they are getting all this money. And on top of that, all these women probably have big salaries anyway. They don't run out of money. That's what I say. You know, I probably just said that.

I'm gonna take you to Barcelona. Yeah, you're worth talking to you to take you to Barcelona, but we don't have money for a fancy villa. We have money to take you to lunch at the nice place, and then you're staying at this perfectly fine place, by the way. It means not high luxury, but it wasn't like some like it looked like a real world house or like it looked like it had been a real world house about seven years ago. And now it's like a really nice Airbnb. It can be as nice as you want it to be. You're still expected

to clean the bathroom. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Although I do feel bad, I do think that the Airbnb that the Shaza Sunset stayed in New York City was nicer than this one. And if you're ever staying in a place that's worse than a Shaza Sunset location, that's problematic. Yeah. Do you like to check yourself? You've already wrecked yourself. Okay.

Yeah. So I don't know why I said that. So stupid. What's wrong with that? It was it was evocative. It was. I'm blaming the bunk bed, okay? So now this is where Neenie pulls her regular Kal Neenie bullshit out of her ass as she does every time

She's like now Cynthia knew there wasn't gonna be enough bathrooms, but as the host. I'm not gonna share a room Neenie, you're not the host. What are you fucking talking about? You don't get to just say you're the host Cynthia plan the whole party and invited the whole party. You don't get to just call yourself the host just because what did you do? Nothing. That's actually funny. I totally forgot about that because you mentioned that on the last episode that this was Cynthia was like, yeah, I'm thinking about taking everyone to Barcelona and that need jumped in start making demands like she was a host. And now this episode she's fully calling herself the host that is hilarious and Cynthia is such a pussy she's not even arguing she's just like okay Neenie okay whatever

she's like my bucket list was the co-host a trip to Barcelona with you so I'm gonna let you take this she doesn't know it but we just check something off hashtag synth hashtag bucket list now next the co-hosted party with Danny Clever Bucklist. Now next, the co-host to party with Danny Cleffa. How do you say bucket list in Spanish? I'll bucket list though. So now it's the honor tradition of claiming rooms on a vacation on a reality show. So everyone starts claiming rooms, taking rooms, and candy makes your way upstairs, and finds this like purple room, and she's like, see, now, right, it is my room now.

Don't want no drama, don't need no drama. And as it happens, candy's room is, it's like the biggest room and it has a balcony and a bathroom and a couch and whatever. So of course, the sharks start to circle. And they keep tricking Shiree. Is that what was happening? Yeah, they kept tricking Shiree. She's like, I want this room. They'd be like, okay. And then she go, oh, this is a nice room to go. You already have one. She goes, no, I don't. And then she go back to the other one. They're like, no, that other room's here. Oh, okay. I'm going to have another room then. They're giving me, no, this one's not yours.

That other room is. And then she ended up getting stuck on the basement, which is the ultimate karma since she doesn't have a done basement yet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, Porsche is like, bye girl, down to basement you go, Hong Kong. And then she tries to get shady to Kenya.

She's like, if I wanted to be seen in a room with old a mildew, I'd have gotten a more man. Your basement's not down there. So yeah, I was it was funny because I didn't really understand what was happening to raise you sort of like walking back and forth. And then next year she's just going just went down to

the basement. Secretly, I like singing the basement, although it would have been funny if she pulled a Luan and said, well, I just thought it would have been Consider it considering I was just married to my new house and I have a new boyfriend named Tyrone in jail That how we get a nice room. I just it would have been considerate Do I get self-service down there? You got baseballs you got baseballs Gainer on phone call from a prison that on.

It's Tom calling the prison. Tom, by the way, gone to, do you see that Tom got into an issue in Palm Beach? I'm so excited that we're doing a show in West Palm Beach because every week there is another incident happening in Palm Beach regarding housewives. It is amazing. And I would not be surprised if real housewives of Miami gets rebooted as real housewives of Palm Beach because like it's getting that cast member weighed. Oh, no, that was a boat. I never mind. Well, there's Mara. Oh, yeah, but there's also Marisol Pattenham. Does not should not come back. No, she's not interesting.

She just hangs on to all these ladies. She should never come back as a cast member. If you relaunch real housewives of Palm Beach, don't have her come on. But oh my god, I'm so excited we're doing a show. I mean, it's not till August, but I want to see all the sites because Tom got into, I think Tom had an issue with the cops this past weekend because he got into a fight with a former business partner in West Palm Beach at a restaurant.

Well, also, I heard that Luan rejected her plea deal because she didn't want to serve jail time. And I guess there was jail time included in that deal. And so she rejected it, but now she's almost definitely going to serve jail time. I'm like, I think, Luan, what are you feeling like? Did you hear that? Yeah, I'm like, think. Luan, what are you feeling like? Did you hear that? Yeah, I'm like, Luan, you're a jack-to-plead-eal.

I mean, the cop has pictures on the internet showing the wealth on his, well, not really a wealth. It's like a red mark. He just got slapped. It's like that Marine in the real-world San Diego who got slapped by a robin. It's like, come on, you're a Marine and you're gonna call the police on Robin.

Well, this police officer has a red mark from where the wind slapped him. Hello, you have a click call from me. It's all good. She'll get put up in Danbury following the footsteps of Theresa and Martha Stewart and will come out of National Hero. Not that she already isn't one. Yeah, she's already there with us, baby. So I so the so the bedroom issue.. So Candy claims this bedroom up top and everyone wants it.

And they're all fighting for it. And now Nini is mad that Candy isn't letting Nini take the awesome room. Yes, and I don't care. But Nini is like, OK, everybody, we need to have a meeting. So she calls this group meeting. And then she has a fan that she whips out and meeting. So she calls this group meeting, and then she has a fan that she whips out and snaps. And she's like, now we gotta go to dinner,

so I'm gonna make this really fast, but we feel that the mature girls are mature, so the mature girls should go to the top. And then Candy guess, not fallen for it. She goes, no, but what I was saying was, I'm saying not falling for it. Not just, it's just what I was saying was I'm saying not falling. I'm not. See now, right. I'm not changing. I'm not changing. I'm not changing.

Jing. I'm not changing. That's what Candy does. She does. She puts, she puts a hard consonant in her words and she gets mad. We already talked about it. I'm not changing And mini does back off because Gave her a goddamn arena to her. Okay, and Mimi still has the nerve so she starts to you but then she's well first she tries to change a fight right because candy Disgust stop it Really don't want no bedroom don't read no bedroom So basically candy is like you know she's like

Like the moment like you hate talking The moment someone talks about your age, you always are like, don't talk about my age. But now you're like, I'm a chore. And then he goes, I'm the one girl who never says anything about age. And then it says on screen, it goes a flashback. It goes one minute ago. I do a flashback to a minute ago.

It was so shady. I love the producers are just as shady as the people on the screen. And then she's like, I did not say age. I said mature. I did not say age, which, you know, poor Neenie, God bless her heart. You know that that's, you know that that's kind of

what you're being said. How is that supposed to be any better? I don't like fucking shit. You're basically, so you're like, no, I did not mean it by age. I'm actually casting a judgment on you. You can not testify with stupid, okay? I'm sorry to quote old presidents

that we don't need to remember, but you can't argue with stupid. So Neenie's like, well, look, I'm gonna find Mr. Arthur. Or, you're talking about Chester Arthur or? Yeah. I'm talking about Abraham Lincoln. When he talked on that cherry tree and made wooden teeth for George Washington. And then in fact,

that's what's up. I'm not going to give up my shot. Oh, that's time. I'm not going to give up my side. He's like, and I'm telling you I'm not going. And then like Jefferson was all like memories. He's all moving on up to the east side. So mini, out of nowhere. And this is this is mentioned a couple of times she goes, so I'm going to go to my giant tub with some Chlorox bleach honey. See you at dinner. Now then, Sheray later says something like, I've got a, I've got a APB out on some Chlorox bleach. What is that? I think that they're trying to bleach all the linens and towels. I think they were just not happy with the amenities in this place. because I was like, is that a cultural thing?

What do people use Chlorox bleach for that? I don't know about because I need to know. Yeah, because I need to know. So Shamiya and so Nini actually, like you can't honestly, you can't, Candy is intractable and Nini loses this battle. So they all retreat to their rooms and Shamiya and Porsche are hanging out in a room and over Porsche's lines for her for her play and we learned that Porsche's eye got infected and Porsche goes. Listen, you script I got. They go into detail with Connie. In other words, she got a lot of lines.

So, um... That's as she would mean stage directions. Yeah. Oh my god, cross stage lift. I win. So yeah, she means like why are you wearing your sunglasses everywhere? Where we go? It's like they get cheaper every time we go somewhere and she's like you girl, you know, I got allergies to that eyelash glue. Yeah, she said my girl she did something weird or whatever. So then we upstairs Marlow is talking with Cynthia and Nini and she's Marlow's been like Do me a favor Cynthia when the girls talk about will just be graceful about it. I'm like, please

Marlow just drop this etiquette. You're not the one to talk about grace. She's like just be graceful about it Although I mean, I mean ever since Marlow Neenie's bond while she was fighting with Porsche, she has gone up in the helpful friend department. Yeah, Marlo is actually making an effort this year. And she goes, don't get defensive. And Cynthia goes, when did I get defensive? And Neenie's like, well, she was correct when she said, Porsche talked about Peter in the past.

I'm like, um, hi. Do you remember talking about Peter in the past. I'm like, um, hi, do you remember talking about Peter in the past? Cause you needed his ass. Like, you have a housewife fight with Peter for seasons. Okay. Yeah. Exactly. And like, it actually derailed your friendship with, with Cynthia. Well, you said it is a reason to yell at Portia Cynthia. You was. Yeah. So, um, so anyway, so we're sort of cross kind of between the two conversations and Portia saying how her feelings are hurt because she thought she was bonding with Cynthia, but then Cynthia was, you know, dismissed her at that lunch or whatever. And Nini, meanwhile, was like, okay, let's make this

about me. So she's now mad again. She's mad about Candy for saying the age shit, even though it was Nini who introduced the whole concept of maturity into this conversation. But Nini is like, we look the same age. Like how could she say this up? We look the same age. I'm like, you're the one who called yourself the more mature lady here. And we all know what you meant by that. Yeah. And Marlowe's like, well, I think she has a beef with me. She can't take my mouth. And she goes, but you say you're the one who said, you know, she's dry in the snatch. She says, yeah, but she says I'm a Mongol. No, no, she didn't say she said I think she's like, I think I

thought she said. And Mimi started cracking up and she goes a mogul and she goes, oh yeah, mogul. That's what I'm trying to say and he just flops over like I'm dead So meanwhile Shrego's into porceless room and she's like I'm from my pajamas yet I'm in front of some APBs on some bleach. That's not bleach moment and then like what about they ask her to like to I pass a towel or something or they're looking at the towel and she's like, you can, you can exfoliate with these. You don't need a Pumus stone stone for this. It's like Pumus, Pumus, delicateness. It's a crits. You know what's funny? Kim would not have saved you. Let's go. Yeah. And she's like, Hey, boo, hey. and Kim's like, it's the weather. No, tell me everything. Is there flamenco?

Tell me, did you see Vicki at Christina? Is the rain in Spain insane on the membrane? Is it true? It's just so many bars there is not what's called Barcelona? So for lovers, there's a slight chill at night, but it's still bars there is not what's called Barcelona. So for lonesome. There's a slight chill at night, but it's still nice. Okay, thanks for your trip. Advice review. And she's like, he guess who's not here? She's like, uh, Ronald Reagan.

No, well, I mean, he's not, but that's not who I mean. Ronald, no, why do you keep what he keep guessing? Ronald. Uh, don't look over. No, but he keep, but he keep guessing Ronald's. I don't know. Merissa, Tomay. Well, at least it's not around. But she's not here either. But that's not who I mean. By the way, I apologize.

My stomach is making weird noises. And I don't know if you guys can hear it, but I apologize. Every, it sounds like one of those, you know, those toys that like those little cans we turn it over at Moose that's my stomach sounds like every minute actually it's funny because we're hunger sisters because I was just having a grumbly stomach too and I looked up and I have a quassant wrapped in plastic staring at me from the desk. I'll see you later my little broken Quasantbird. Well, anyway, so they're talking to Kim and she's basically, and then they're like, well, Kenya didn't come and she's like, well, shit, I could have come there. You know, and

straight. You could have come, but meanie said that you have polio aids the the brachovirus each angle Both in your body and on your house a two cheeseburger meal from McDonald's Sun flew SARS And she also said you can't be without your husband and Kim's like she doesn't know what the fuck I do because I don't talk to her I'm like you just said last episode. Well, can Kroikom? It doesn't, you don't have to like, it shouldn't have to like talk to you to know

that you said you'd only come if Kroik could come. Like, I'm forced, I'm forced to say, well, I just wanted to say, I'm so happy for you for being a cancer survivor. Congratulations, cancer runs in my family. It comes like, wait now, what would you say? What was that? What was that? And then we got a commercial, and for some reason they cut to that egg building. Yeah, they love a good Girkin style skyscraper. They love a good Gurg and style skyscraper. They're like, look, in the city of Art Nouveau,

let us show you some new art. Get it. Let us represent cancer with this giant industrial egg. It's like a giant promise. It's like a giant supplement. Put it in your ass. So, yeah, so anyway. It's like a giant supplement put it in your ass. So, um, yeah, so anyway, yeah, so, um,

so it's shim, so it's shim. She's like, I'm not a, I'm not a cancer survivor. I don't want to know who the fuck told you that. I'm poor she goes, maybe I'm just understood. Are you a very low? No. I was a seriousdeterious survivor. Um, so Shiree, of course, I like how Shiree is just shameless about gossiping.

She's like, see, no, well, sorry, that was candy. You got candy, boss? Uh, Needy, Needy said something to the fact that Kim is the only person I know who has a stroke, a blood clot, open heart surgery surgery cancer, and bum leg, breast leg syndrome, three legs, everything with legs. You need a jazzy. She's like, mm, jazzy, that sounds good. It's like the one thinks she'll agree to.

She's like, she's calm and I won't fucking acknowledge it. You know, the same bitch who parks on the head kept spot, but she needs to worry about it with the roaches in her house. Oh, wait, I'm gonna get that video. Hold on, I'm gonna send that back. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Leon.

She did. Sorry. I accidentally turned on Siri during that and there was almost an issue. There's like a Siri button on my laptop now and I grazed it and then Siri was like, hello, how can I help you cancer? So there's like, what to do if you have cancer, a stroke, open heart surgery, thyroid medicine, bitch. Like Siri, go away.

This is not your moment. Dr. Roach. Um, so Kim is just like losing it now. Kim is like, is this bitch or real? This is not going to end well. It's like, that's exactly my plan. So the guys are cooking and Marlow is getting set up for dinner and she's putting a crown down at one chair for Kenya and a blonde wig down at another

chair for Kim. And the producers give the wig a chiron. It says wig and under it in quotes Kim. But there's actually a wig there. So everyone starts to assemble for dinner and then Porsche and I think Shamiya get nominated to be bartenders. So they're taking orders. They're nominated told by Neenie that they're going to be bartenders. Yeah, they're like, so what, like was everyone want to have? And she was like, hmm, of vodka and phanta hmm, uh, uh, vodka and phanta. Even Borscht is like, vodka and phanta?

I'm just getting pretty good. Uh, uh, that's what it is. That's what it is. She's like, you guys are shady as hell. So, Nini is still very cranky about candy and the age comments or whatever and she starts calling candy out about it and candy's like See now Neenie, you're the one who's killed, you're my accents are all derailed right now I'm like still in a very like the roaches Kim's old-si-axe roach moment is like derailing me but candy's like You can't for the first, you can't fool me first. You can't fool me first.

Now, you can't fool me first. See now, you're saying elders to somebody. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's like, let's be for real. Not that far from Social Security time. And then I believe there is one to skeptical laughs in there. No, still don't have it. Still don't have it. Then Marla, they serve soup from Marla goes, what kind of soup is this? Something with something they're like pumpkin. It's usually the way that's usually

the way it's used to go something with something. Something with something. It's always all this season with some something. Yeah. Waiter, I think I'll have something with something but maybe some something on the side. Something with something. So Cynthia's like, well, someone's kind of best a food child. And she needs like, ask the elders to do it. And Neenie starts freaking out. Did you say elders bitch? I'm gonna drag you bitch. And she's like, do not come for me. She's like, do not a hundred come for me. That means a hundred. I don't even know what Neenie's talking about. I go zero to

100. But Porsche Mia, she thought she was making a funny call back and like she didn't realize that had been like result that's why she'll never be on the show she's always just like a little bit off I know candy's like don't yell at us I am a zero to 100. And I've used all the passes you gave me, honey. Amen. Did you notice? The girls are touching the Kenya.

Yeah, exactly. They're like holding hands with the crown and the wig. And then Eva, Eva pipes up. Eva's like, oh yeah, Eva's here. And she's like, she's like, oh, this is a new level of shade. I mean, I'm from LA. This like Snoop Dogg, sit back, load joint. It's not that deep. I'm like, oh God, is Eva the new Teddy Mellon camp? Yeah, she gets to LA and she's like, hello, Mayor, we're dating and you are now the father of my child. That's how we do it in LA people. So Marla's like, since I said candy is dry, she's so

on me. Candy's like, you open your mouth. Oh, she gets candy was I had I made a special note. Candy ultra high voice because she was like, you know, the water keeps ready. You know, the water. Because they keep trying to come for candy and she's like, what the hell people? I'm not leaving the pumpkin soup. So well, Candie's like, um, if you tell me I need to take your etiquette class, I'm going to talk about how bad your etiquette is. I like how Candie, all her shade is very logical and she presents it very logically and she defends it logically. Like, well, if you come for me, I'm going to say this,

and you came for me, so I said this. Yes, she's just, it's like she's dealing with a bunch of old babies, you know? And Marlow's like, listen, I can be really blunt and you can be really dry. That's just the way it is. And Candy gives such a stink-eye. She like fully cranks herself around

all the way to her left, so that way she can do a full 180 degrees stink-eye all the way to her left. So that way she can do a full 180 degrees thing guy all the way to her right. She's like, S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s know why she had to bring that up in Spain. Can't get dry on it. Lath to do. You know, I think a lot of people think being called dry is a compliment. It's like you aspire to have a dry wet. Yeah. Oh, they're not taking it that way. And candy is just standing up. She's like, see, she's like about to go get some more water. Cause you know, she's not leaving the dinner table. Like, candy will leave a lot of things, but not a dinner table ever. So she's got and then she's everybody's got the girl.

Yeah, this is. This is fully like one of those TV shows where it never really happens in real life, you know, and you know, it's like a TV show or a teen movie where like a scandalous text gets sent out or it's like a movie show where a teen movie where like a scandalous text gets sent out or it's like a movie clue where they're like, well, I got a letter to who did you get a letter from? I got a letter as well. And it's always like that movie where someone's in high school and like something embarrassing happened the night before and someone's like a lifetime movie and you're being cyberbillied

and all of a sudden everyone in the school gets a notification they look up and it's our laugh and like, I'm seeing a freeze frame from your webcam and it was actually happening. And they always have a MacBook, starts playing wig on the on the plant. There was. Because the text from Kim and the cameras like zoom in on the wig. And Cynthia's like, wait a minute. Kim is not here. So how does she know? I'm not the conversation. Not on my bucket list. Hashtag not on my bucket list. And she's like, Kim said she can't be here without has been. And well, we should. Well, we should. Do I wait, but you're you but you're skipping ahead vitally,

which is that the Kim sent a text that said, Nene is sick and discussing. And I'm not just speaking on the fact that she made fun of a serious health issue I had, but I'm also speaking on the fact that she lives in a fucking roach-ness for someone who has two beautiful kids and amazing husbands. You should be worried about karma, but this is coming from the same person who takes

handicapped spots, and the handicapped. And then Mimi goes, fuck him. Okay. Now let me say my part, and then you guys can try it. Now let me say my butt, and then she starts screaming. And she's like, as far as my house is concerned, can any of y'all bitch you step in my house and say another thing. My shit is all me. Yeah, like brand new roaches. But best part is because Kim also sends the video that Briel took on Snapchat and they're all looking at it like, oh, I need this like, that's a big bathroom. And they're like, Shirei, this is what you were talking about. And he was like, how did you find out? And she was like, oh, yeah, I told her. You got passports?

You got gossip? I'm just waiting to collect the boardwalk boom. And then I'm going to win a mansion. To me, this was actually very satisfying because remember when we were talking about this on Brandy Glantville's podcast and we're talking about how crazy this whole saga was that Brielle took a picture on Snapchat, but then Kim released it and we're like, why would Kim release it? This is so petty and strange and why is Nini so mad? But seeing everything in this episode we now see why and it makes much more sense

It's still petty, but at least it makes more sense. Yes, and the timing was all off then, right? Yeah. Because when we saw it, it didn't seem to be coinciding with the blogs. And then we knew that Mimi started shooting late. And so it was all this weirdness about the timing of it. And now we see that she went back and got it and then posted it way after just to get back at Mimi, which is so funny. And Mimi's like, and you want to talk about my pool.

None of y'all even got pools. And Marlowe's like, I do. And he is like, I'm sure she has worms inside of her ass. Worms, okay. And then you can try. I mean, Mimi just keeps on trying. But you know, Mimi, you keep dishing it out. But then here you go again.

Now you're just saying worms and ass because she cannot come back. But this is like, this is exactly like rampage all over again. I mean, are you gonna believe, like, which monster are you going to believe here? Like, which monster can you take the side of? Because it's like, you know, yeah, Neenie, you need to relax. But then same time, it's kind of like, but Kim is really full of it most of the time. But Neenie, you know, Neenie, like, she went to the point of no return when she said she goes, her and her daughter are discussing honey. My mother fucking hut is brand spanking you, which is what you sort of said before. But when she's like Sophie's choice, where you just want both the kids to die.

It's like you both both. But you know it's kids to die. It's like a tickle both. But you know it's that when she says her and her daughter, you know Kim is going to latch on the bed like, how dare you call Brielle disgusting? How dare you do that? I know everybody gasped. I'm like, Brielle, not Brielle with her. I mean like honestly, Brielle's lips were on the third floor landing in this villa.

We all saw it. And then fortunately, well, she did send a picture of your car in a handicap spot. And he needs like, well, that shows you what a liar this girl is. I'm like, really? Because you're parked in a handicap spot. Well, so yeah, she's like, she said she didn't see me. I'm a big foot six-foot tall bitch. And she said, and she said she didn't see me in a handicap spot. She's like, my god damn husband has a handicap sticker because he's handicapped. Yeah, bitch. And you don't. And you weren't with him. Well, she was saying she was saying that she was. She was not. I don't believe no, no, there is no way in hell. She is using that handicap sticker

to park in the front everywhere she goes. You know, Neenie is that kind of person? You know, I do feel that way, but then when it comes to issues with Kim, I just can't tell. I cannot tell who is really telling the truth here. They're both being petty and they're both accusing each other of doing the same thing, which is lying and not being forthcoming. And they're both kind of really stupid. But it was hilarious. And the main point is as Borscht puts it, Well, that relationship clearly hit rock bottom. Hang your a hay, the handicap stickers and roaches in your face, then then rock swan, then something made out of pumpkin,

then below the bell. I like to, I like when she, yes, she summed it up perfectly. That's our portion. Shade, shade, shade, shade, talking roaches dirty. Now below the belt. And so he's like, but you made fun of her. And he goes, what did I say? And sure, he's like, uh, that she have Parkinson's, a canton, blah, blah, and he's like, she, ALS ML, S M L B NBA NFL.

I was talking on the hand. And he's like, she is an excuse person. And I stand by that, which, you know, I'm not gonna argue with that. And she is, she says, what are you gonna record a water bug in my pool? You bitches don't got pools. And the water's like,

I got water bugs in my pool or whatever. And he's like, here's the difference. I worked for every dollar. You spread your legs and got it from your man. I was like, that's true. I feel like she's also worked doing the same thing you have. She has the same job as you stupid. And she has her own TV show.

That's true. That's true too. I mean, I just feel like if we're going to compare a moral character, not that we really are in any place to do that, but if we were going to, I would say Nini has a bit more than, I mean, Kim'solciac, we can never forget that Kim Zolciac really is the bottom. She is the bottom of the barrel. And we have been very anti-Neenie this season because we feel like she's become a diva and

she's just, she just is so over the top and she is really obnoxious, but I feel like we must never forget that Kim's olsiaq is all that and then worse. Well, that's also not. Somehow, somehow in the end thing episode, but she's just a stupid ball headed bitch. And listen, I'm a stupid bald headed bitch. And I take umberts. I thought that was hilarious. Dispensance.

Ball had a crash. I thought that was hilarious. Dispensance. Ballfabric. Although, again, it would have been great of Claudia Jordan. We're there to shade Neenie about her edges, because it just, you know, it all is full circle. Remember when we learned about edges? Remember when we were like, I was an edge.

That's a big moment for our whiteness. We're like, what is an edge? We thought it was about her personality. We're like, is she saying that she's like dull? Like she's not like a sharpest she used to be. She has no edges. You know, remember when we learned like how a vagina worked?

Oh, you guys, watch what crap in this teaches us so, so much. I know. We love being in the bubble, you know? Well, that brings us to the end of all episode. We will be back tomorrow with a different schedule. Tomorrow we're going to do summer house since we are doing Vanderpump rules that are live shows. So Vanderpump rules will be Wednesday this week and real housewives of Beverly Hills will be on Thursday,

followed by Topshifl and Fraud. Yeah. And we'll try to get Beverly Hills up a little earlier than Thursday if we can, but it probably will be Thursday. We'll see. Just keep, you know what? Here's what you do. You subscribe and guess what?

The episodes will just roll into your podcast app. And you don't have to worry about looking after them. They will just arrive. They will come to you. We, Ben and Ronnie, will come to you. And if you go to watch our crappens.com, then you can also come to us and see us live. At various places, our next show is in Houston.

We have about a hundred tickets left there. Let's sell it out. A hundred, we just need like 25 people to buy a project. That's all. But seriously, come see us. These live shows are amazing. If you are in Houston, the Houston area, we really can't recommend coming enough.

It's that's as much as we're talking about this Barry Ballam show being, you know, our biggest show ever, the Houston show is going to be our second biggest show if it sells out. So that'll be a huge show as well. So we're very excited for that. And we'll see a bunch of people tomorrow and we'll be back to talk about tomorrow. So bye everyone. Sure. Bye everybody. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watch Your about tomorrow. So bye everyone. Bye everybody.

Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. survey.