Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Liars and Cheetahs
Episode Date: February 18, 2020NeNe and Cynthia come to a shaky truce on this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta, but nothing can save NeNe's animal print party from drowning in really large glasses of salsa. For this week'...s bonus Trailer Breakdown for RHONY, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Toronto, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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And today we are doing Real Housewives of Atlanta.
That's right. We're back to Atlanta. Very exciting. Big episode, big Nini Cynthia summit.
The one we've sort of been waiting for all season, but not really because I think a lot of us
really don't care about anyone mending fences with Nini anymore but you know we'll give it to the show will allow it to happen well i have to have it to nini
she is so she is so good at just repeating things over and over again to make you think that she's telling the truth and we all know she's a damn liar because everything's on camera we've seen it nini
yeah but i'm dumb and so i forget seasons that passed and you know this is housewives memory.
Anybody who watches housewives has this where the next season you just kind of forget
every bad thing and just start all over with people.
And I'm not liking Neenie so I think she's a monster but I'm like what did Cynthia ever
do to Neenie?
Because I forget or what did Neenie ever do to Cynthia?
You know?
I had like a flash of empathy for Nini at one point also.
And then I was like, no, Ben,
don't have a flash of empathy for this person.
She is an answer and she's making Cynthia feel bad
about calling her toxic.
Well, I'm not even gonna get into it now
because we'll get into it when we approach it.
Let's start at the top of the show,
which is actually what we're talking about right now because the show opens up. Yeah, look at that. Look how fast we we approach it. Let's start at the top of the show, which is actually what we're talking about right now,
because the show opens up.
Yeah, look at that.
Look how fast we got to it.
I mean, that was amazing for us.
I know. Well, first of all, I noticed
that the way that the show opened
was very much skewed in favor of Nini.
I was surprised at that.
It was sort of like this.
It almost felt like a mid-season trailer.
It just opened up a pre-credit sequence of like all like
Nini and Cynthia, they used to be best friends.
We hear a lot of voice overs or some archival footage
and stuff and we saw pictures of the two of them together.
Now we heard Nini saying things like Cynthia was someone
who was like a true friend to me.
I loved her like a sister.
I cherished everything that we had,
but now we're not friends.
And now she's dead.
It's like watching a date line episode.
This whole thing was date line.
It's like, they met.
Oh, we were best friends until I murdered her in college
and blamed some tourist.
Yeah, they should call it the first 48 reunions.
It was very date line.
I was waiting to just see Cynthia's body floating at a river.
It's like did Cynthia die? What is going on? We're as stone Phillips. Oh God only knows what he's done.
Geez. Yeah. He's too handsome to be innocent. With his name is Stone. Yeah.
Yeah. It's never stone Phillips. Yeah. We're just known as innocent. Okay. Yeah. I mean, have we seen Jane Polly ever since date line? I don't think so. I'd like to know what
Jane Paul is. Yeah, I just finished watching the morning show on Apple TV. So everybody I see now,
like don't you try and trick me, Steve Carrell sexual harassment, Matt Lauer ass. Yeah, so it's very date line and Neenie keeps saying things like it
was a betrayal in my eyes. What did she do to you? You're the monster here.
You're the monster who could not be in the same room as Kenya and is now putting this
all on as a betrayal. Yeah, I mean, I've sent this a million times. I'll say it a million
more times, you know, Cynthia. Yeah, she was a little shady,
but I also don't think it was the worst offense in the world. And I think it's, you know,
and what I'm talking about specifically is her pretending like she didn't know that Kenya
was going to show up. I really don't think that's the worst thing in the world. I thought
it was a, for sure, it was a weak moment when she, she should have just had the balls
to tell her friend, by the way, Kenya is coming, but she was afraid.
She was afraid to tell her friend, which is weakness on Cynthia's part, but it also says
something about Neenie too, that a friend can't feel comfortable enough saying something
to her, because she's afraid she's going to flip out, which by the way, fuck it, I am going
to talk about the toxicity thing.
That's what makes someone a toxic friend when you give everything to that friendship.
And like you do one wrong thing, it's like you lose yourself in it.
It's everything is that you're putting in everything to keep that person happy.
And that's where the toxicity comes in.
Miss Neenie Leaks.
Yeah, she's toxic.
No question about that one.
So that's how we start a date line episode.
We don't know who's dead.
We know that Neenie did it.
No matter who's dead.
I don't care.
Look around your neighborhood. Find out who died. Neenie did it no matter who's dead. I don't care. Look around your neighborhood. Find out who died.
Neenie did it.
That's what I say.
So let's go over to Swagaga.
Neenie is pretending to help customers, which is just hilarious to me.
Yeah.
She's telling some lady that animal print is the new black, which then in retrospect, remembering
this scene, makes me realize that this whole elaborate
what it was at leopard lunch, it's just a way for her to move some merchandise out of her
store. That's what she wants. Yes. Animal print is not the new black, okay? And stop saying
it. I don't know if you heard that on TLC 12 years ago, or whenever the fuck Lisa Rinne came
back on the scene dressing like friend-dresser in the nanny. I don't know what you heard
that, but stop it it's not
the new black it's not animal print is animal print it's just as fucking lame
as ever okay you guys are gonna look back in 10 years and look at yourself
looking like a bunch of damn fools and don't say I didn't warn you okay it's
stupid look stupid mini sells it okay stop wearing it although I did like the
animal print challenge on project run away this season I'm not gonna lie well
there you go
You know, at least that's using it in a new way. This is my yeah, this is like a caftan cheetah thing. Okay, stop
so Marlow comes in and
Who cares really they talk about going to
They're talking about basically Cynthia. And Cynthia has sent Nini a thank you gift.
She basically wrote a note that said, in the craziness of everything that happened, I'd
never got a chance to thank you for the kind of.
She's platters you sent passively during my wine launch.
And then we also got a flashback of Nini opening the gift from Nini.
I'm sorry, the gift from Cynthia. And as Nini is approaching the gift, she goes, wow,
that bag looks mighty wrinkly. I'm like, it's a gift bag. They wrinkle.
It's a freaking gift bag, okay? Call the post-service. Call the post-service.
I know. Call Hallmark Incorporated and demand better materials for their gift bags. Yeah, and Marlow who's way to invest it is like
I feel chills. I've got chills. They're multiplying.
I'm losing control. Because the thank you gift you're supplying it's wrinkle-fying
I wish you the rest of lyrics at that that's a part of the song that I just start like mounting along and making sounds
That's the part of the song that I just start like mounting along and making sounds
So there's an Eda man. Oh, I knew that my heart is set on you
Sit on true. It's actually
You're the you're the children I want the children I need I need a cool rider personally. So let's go over to Kenya who I'm sorry to I'm sorry to all of our audience that they had to sit through us sort of like
Feeling our way through our weird alianca bitch version of the song
What are you apologizing for you think these people just fell off a fucking turn up track? I know where they are
For you think these people just fell off a fucking turn up track. I know where they are
Anyone who's annoyed by us turn this off after 30 seconds. I know I'm not you that
You know what I'm apologizing because unlike certain people on this TV show I am capable of
Seeing faults with myself
Well, it's really fun. Yeah, it's really fun to see faults in yourself. It is fun. I built my whole life on it. I
Know we built a whole podcast Okay, so Kenya is over cooking now. Here's an apology to land sea bass. Okay. What do you want pump? Oh?
Yeah, she's cooking but not only to land sea bass. She's making
Miso to land sea bass. She just took Lisa Vanderpump and raised her an ingredient.
Chef Joe, get on that.
What is this miso?
Mm-hmm.
I'd like to get involved.
I have an idea.
I would like to take something simple
like a bean of a soy and turn it into a pasta.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
So, Kenya is making a Chalancey bass for apparently herself.
Cynthia shows up.
Then, Kenya explains that I guess the Chalancey bass was supposed to be for her and Mark.
Mark decided to leave because he remembered that he was married to Kenya.
Now she's going to offer it to Cynthia and said.
Yeah, he's totally escaped patched the hell out of there.
He's like, can you just cooking?
Yeah, I'm leaving.
I don't know what gave me the idea that a man who owns multiple decent restaurants
wants to eat your cooking lady who microwave stuff for the plumber in her first place.
I mean, I was honestly, I'm not gonna lie.
I did have a moment where I sort of stopped and thought to myself,
can you have made me so to lay and see bass?
She did that.
She's not.
There's no way.
There's no way, right?
She heated it up, right?
Because I don't see Kenya going to the supermarket
and actually buying miso paste.
Yeah, me neither.
I mean, I don't even know where that shit is,
and I've looked for it.
It's over. I feel like it's, I actually have a little tub of it that I recently bought.
And by the way, it turns out it's great and everything, but it's over by like the tofu's
and things like that and where kimchi's are.
Kimchi!
Well, that explains why I can't find it.
They not have kimchi in Austin?
Yeah, they have kimchi, but I'm just not often
in the Tofu section.
I did, I am learning because you know,
trying to change my ways.
So I did, who cares, who cares about my two?
I'm a huge, okay.
I'm a huge dork.
I'm the sort of person that like always checks out
all the sections of a supermarket just to know what's around.
So in the future, if I need something,
I know that I can get it.
That's kind of, so that's why I like, that's why I know this random shit because I will take a lot of
fun and tap around the store.
Yeah, you'll have a lot of fun in Texas.
The grocery stores are huge here.
You could do that for a week just scoping it out.
I believe it.
And then they'll change the aisles up, you know, just to keep it fresh.
You're like, damn it.
Where were the mezo pies?
So Cynthia comes over and she does a typical Cynthia thing where she uses your own lines against
you.
She's like, oh, thanks.
I came looking cute just in case I have to read a bitch.
And they have a very nice makeup where Cynthia is like, so why did you drag me to Cookie Lady
drama?
Yeah. Just because I took you to her store on camera
Totally not to start a fight doesn't mean that I wanted to be on camera in a fight, okay?
Stop stop letting stop not letting me get away with my Lisa Vanderpump underhanded bullshit, okay?
Yeah, cuz basically they're doing grace before having this me so Lansing bass and Cynthia's like dear Lord
Thank you for the food that you're blessing us with and thank you for this wonderful bounty that we're going this miso, Lansi bass. And Cynthia's like, dear Lord, thank you for the food that you're blessing us with.
And thank you for this wonderful bounty
that we're going to partake in.
I apologize for smelling like asphalt,
but I was going under the bus by Kenya Moore,
and et cetera, et cetera.
Yeah.
So she basically, you know,
she used grace as a way to be passive aggressive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some passive aggressive fighting and praying.
Dear Lord, please help my sister to not be such a bitch.
It's a great way to fight. Yeah.
So Kenya's like, yeah, I, you were trying to blame it on me by going to
Tanya and telling her in the first place that I was the one who had the cookie lady.
So you did it first. You threw me into the bus first. And Cynthia's like, I hear that, and I will do it,
because people need to learn to argue.
So one of the biggest things in relationships.
Listen lady, do you think people need to learn to argue
because you're dating someone, you know it's gonna cheat
on you any second, okay?
It's really just a matter of time
before that guy has his dick and somebody else.
Probably in the same building as you, okay? I wouldn't even doubt if it was at one of your
parties. You know what's going to happen? So now you've learned some therapy doc for
learn how to argue. No. She didn't learn how to be around people that you don't have to
fucking fight with all the time because her assholes. First of all, she did not learn
that from any therapy talk. She learned it because Mike put it in his book because this is
jumping for it a little bit. But she's like, well, you know, Ken, yeah, Mike actually
wrote a book called Open Mike. Did I tell you about that? You know, that everyone's like,
yes, Cynthia. And he always says, you know, you know, it's not about, you know, you need
to know how to love someone and you need to know how to argue with someone because she
says that at some point that that's what Mike said because she then says it the whole episode.
You know, she like learned one nugget when she went and visited him
in Porter Ranch, which is where someone,
one of our listeners found out where he is,
Porter Ranch, which, as we said, is Deep Valley.
So high five to you, Ronnie, because we both
figured it out, it was Deep Valley.
I didn't even know what Porter Ranch was,
so there you go.
Porter Ranch is always on fire.
It's like, whenever you hear about F fires in LA, whenever, you know, when
you see these fires, people are like, are you okay?
It's almost always at Porter Ranch for some reason.
Oh, and you're like, why is the rent so cheap?
You're, I'm totally moving out here.
It's beautiful.
It's actually beautiful up there, but it's deep valley.
And I still don't know why it actually agitates me so much.
I already feel myself getting like whipping myself
into a frenzy about the fact that he's in the deep valley,
acclaiming to be like in the heart of LA,
even though he never claimed to be in the heart of LA.
The point is this.
The point is this.
His book is named Open Mic, okay?
And he has as much of a brand.
This is how I know he's good for Cynthia,
because they have a terrible branding, okay?
The whole 50 cents terrible stupid.
This terrible stupid open mic.
What audience wants to sit through an open mic?
Nobody, okay?
You know, there's an open mic?
Comics.
Yeah.
They've ever been to an open mic night.
It's terrible.
If it's not comics,
it's people on their guitar and Starbucks.
Yeah.
That one Starbucks used to do that sort of thing.
Back in the 90s.
God, did they? That's terrible. Well, remember, coffee shops in the 90s. Oh God, did they?
That's terrible.
Remember, coffee shops in the 90s were very much all about like you go there.
If you want to, like, if you want to start up like teaching people how to speak Spanish,
you put up a little posting on the bulletin board with little things you pull off, you
know, and then other people go there and they recite poetry and they have music.
The Starbucks here, I'm in New York right now at the moment freezing my ass off
It is colder in my childhood bedroom than it is in Antarctica right now because the Antarctica actually hits 70 degrees
And it is colder in here in Antarctica
But the Starbucks that was the closest Starbucks to here used to have like singer songwriters come in and
play on their guitars and
Gross. Yeah to have like singer songwriters come in and plan their guitars and gross.
Yeah.
So, even as getting a sonogram thingy, where they're like putting the target price
scanner on her belly, we don't know how much that baby cost.
But it's Dr. Jackie.
Do you ever know?
Why is it that everyone who's not on marriage medicine goes to Dr. Jackie, but no one goes
to Dr. Simone?
Hey, that's a good question, actually. I don't know. Yeah. who's not on marriage medicine goes to dr jackie but no one goes to dr. Simone
Hey, that's a good question actually. I don't know. Yeah. What's wrong with dr. Simone?
They all go to get out there working it.
Yes. Are you filming here? Will you film here?
And then Riley and candy are shopping and Riley doesn't like.
Candy says that something Riley picked out is too skimpy and she's like,
do you see yourself? I can see your whole chest.
She's the mom, she's allowed to show her chest.
Yeah.
And then Portia is playing with her baby and Portia is wearing this shirt with hands all
over it.
Like, oh my god, I've got hands all over me, which is like so sad knowing that like her
husband's just leaving hand prints all over town, you know?
I know, Portia. I don't like that shirt for you. Yeah, she's playing with her mom and
PJ and she's talking about PJ. She's like, you know, PJ, she doesn't like to be put
on the spot. You know what? Like literally, I will put her on the floor.
And when you turn your head for two seconds, she's like way over there. I'm like, well,
she must get that from her dad. Yeah. She's like, how did he do that? Now, I'm going to need an apology
to your grandmother in your hand. I looked the other way and suddenly PJ is wearing a
teenage being an indiserdal tracksuit. And then over with Greg and Nene who we haven't
seen in a long time, they're role playing and Greg is being Cynthia. So they can practice
this fight. And Nene is just an asshole already in the fight.
She's like, oh God, you're crying, I'm leaving.
Bye.
Yeah.
By the way, the first person to cry in the fight
was Neenie for the record.
Well, tried.
She tried to cry.
Very, very hard.
She tried.
Oh, that was hilarious.
But you can't really practice for somebody
putting an entire wine glassful of salsa in front of you.
Like there's no practice for that.
Just when we were coming around to the Bailey wine seller, she does that. I mean,
we had a listener over the past week. I think one or two people tweeted at us and were like,
actually, I went to the Bailey wine seller. It's not so bad. It's a surprisingly fun time.
So I'm like, okay, maybe the Bailey wine seller
is not so bad.
And then here she comes serving salsa in wine glasses.
I mean, it was just, it was so offensive.
It was offensive.
And it looks like a hobby lobby, okay?
I get it, vines.
I get your plastic vines.
You're gonna staple them to the wall.
But I go to Michael's too much for that shit, okay?
It just looks like Michael's to me.
I'm like, when's your sale?
I'm on your mailing list.
Why didn't I get an email about the cheap canvas? Why?
I just feel like salsa and a tall wine glass. First of all, you're just asking for a stain.
It's going to be 30 seconds, so someone tips that thing over, especially, you know, you're
trying to put a chip in there. And as, you know, as you get, as you get deeper, you're
not going to be able to get your finger all the way in to get that sauce. Then you're tipping the glass which is weird.
Fingers are all it's just terrible. How does a wine tasting place that's going to be serving
little cheeses and crackers and nuts? How are there like no ramekins around?
Yeah, even a martini glass or something. Something.
Even a martini glass would have been better. It's open. It opens out.
It says, come dip in me.
And then we go over to see Cynthia calling Eva.
And she's like, guess what?
Meenie's coming here, John.
I mean, Eva's like, you are lying
like an expensive person, reg.
Yeah, she's just lying there.
So they are now here we go.
Here's the Cynthia Neenie meeting with the salsa and a huge wine glass.
I would have left.
Now that's when I would have left.
Yeah, I would have left immediately.
I would have, because on top of that, it wasn't even just like salsa in a wine glass.
There were two wine glasses, both with salsa, almost implied that we each have our own private supply
of salsa, but it also kind of looked like,
by having two, it made it look even more
like a weird salsa cocktail.
Because it was way too much.
As opposed to one central.
Yeah.
And you know, it was like some shitty like,
jarred shit, you know, that she found,
not even like a good jarred shit, not yet.
So it's probably some weird ass brand
that looks like it's artisanal,
but it's not, and it just sucks.
Cause you know, that's happened,
has that happened to you ever?
Cause that happens to me a lot.
I'm like, oh, well, I don't feel like making this at home,
but Ralph's just stalking Annie's salsa,
and I'm gonna try that,
and then you get it, and it's like worse than the
justito's brand.
Yeah, it was some like Costco,
cause there was so much in it, you know,
it's like you just pour it by the jug into a into a wine glass. So they start their meeting and
Neenie's like, wow, look at this so nice. And she's like, I know that a lot of strange, but you still like some salsa.
Yeah, I still
I didn't know that about Neenie by the way. I did not know that salsa was her signature snack.
Yeah, me neither.
You learned something new that you don't care about every day on this show.
Here's something I did know is that Nini considered Cynthia a sister, because guess what?
She said it about 15 times since the show began.
This is someone I consider a sister.
They start their invite talking because Nini has decided to have a leopard branch
for all the ladies to celebrate womanhood and sisterhood. Sisterhood. Sisterhood. Sisterhood.
Sisterhood. Nini, by the way, is the queen of a terribly themed event, right? From the...
Well, she's learned to cut down words at least. She's learned to add it. That's nice. It's just one.
It's a terrible pattern that we'll never see end, but it's at least one word,
which is very different from her.
Gay, guy, girl, guy, gay, seafood, scallop, chicken,
thing for his party or whatever the hell that thing was.
Yeah.
Gays and gals never forget seafood suhara.
That was only the first half of the title
featuring Kim Zolciak
Okay, so they start off with that and Cynthia's like well, okay, I guess I'm gonna start this
I think we deserve to have at least a mutual respect for each other and he's like okay
Then why did you say that I'm toxic
Why how could you say that I'm toxic? Why? How
could you say that I am toxic? What does that even mean?
Exactly. And by Needy, Needy just pushing this point, which is what she does, she once
again controls the narrative of this fight. She controls it. And once again, Cynthia is
on defense, which is what always happens
and that is why there is toxic because
synthia is always put in a position of being on defense the moment she does
something wrong by nini but the the moments that need ever does anything wrong by
synthia
there's really no accountability there's no there's no consequences for for
nini so that's why it's toxic
when you say good politician she knows just how to find a line and stick to it.
You know, you called me toxic. It hurt me. It hurt me. How could you call me toxic?
I've been so good to you. And then Cynthia doesn't remember one single thing Nini's done.
Not one. You can't name one thing. You suck at this. You suck at this. Like,
write it down in a notebook before you go. You you know we've seen people whip out a little notebook erica jane suggests she told Brian moilin that she
always suggests carrying around a notebook and that's what you'll on to foster
taught her because these ladies will bring up shit from fights years ago come
on Cynthia you've been doing this long enough get a notebook yeah I think that
Cynthia was uh maybe she was caught off guard by that she wasn't planning to
have to defend that remark she thought she's gonna have to defend something else and so because she was caught off guard by that she wasn't planning to have to defend that remark She thought she'd have to defend something else and so because she was caught off guard
She didn't really have an answer for it
But the truth is
Neenie is toxic. She's extremely toxic towards Cynthia and and
You know, I mean just look over the seasons all the things that Neenie has done to Cynthia the way that she's guilt
It's Cynthia about various things and and just come down on her.
And you know, I mean, Cynthia needs to move forward.
It looks like she has grown a lot, to be honest, but it gets me scared when she gets drawn
back into Nini's games.
Yeah, and she's like, well, okay, then maybe Toxic was a strong word, but I was trying
to explain the situation to you and you were close to it.
It's like, oh no, that's not Toxic, we just said.
Yeah.
Name why she's Toxic. There's plenty of reasons, okay? Do I need to do it for you? Cause I will.
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So Nini's like, well, yes, I was close to it. She's like, well, you know,
anything I had to say that wasn't positive, that was after we fell out.
So, like, that's not count, or she's like,
you said that I'm weak, and you said that I'm weak,
and insecure, and you said that I'm weak,
and weak, you said weak a lot.
You just shared weak with other words,
but you said weak a lot.
You were even telling your friend what your plans were
and you said, I'm going away for the weekend, but then you put week, the week part in airquotes
and then did a face like, I'm referring to Cynthia right now. I know that for a fact.
And so Cynthia is like, okay, I'm not interested in going back and forth. Okay, we both said
terrible friends. Let's just leave it at that.
Which, no, you shouldn't just leave it at that.
What you've done is not equal, I don't think.
So Neenie's like, well, the things you said about me
are way stronger than the things I said about you.
And she's like, really?
You don't remember saying anything horrible.
She's like, no, well, horrible is a strong word.
That's a really strong word, Cynthia, horrible.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, as far as we, in terms of what Nini said in interviews, okay, so she,
Nini called Cynthia Week, fine.
And Cynthia in interviews called Nini Toxic and all this and that, whatever.
But the difference is, it's not like you're just comparing the physical words.
You're talking about years that years of friendship abuse that Cynthia has dealt with from Neenie.
Then finally, she said, fuck it.
I'm done with this shit.
She's so obnoxious.
She treats me so badly.
She's a toxic friend.
Neenie is acting like the only thing that she ever did badly to Cynthia call her weak.
It's ridiculous.
Cynthia is like, cheer credit.
You're a really good friend when you're a good friend,
but when you're not, I mean, you just tear them down,
you go after them, she's like,
who did I tear down?
Name one person I've ever torn.
Name one.
I mean, Kim, who's a trash box, so that was fine.
Porsche.
Siree.
Porsche, Cynthia.
Everybody?
Like Tanya, Tanya. Who's meets guy?, like Tanya, Tanya.
Who's meets Guy?
Yeah, Tanya.
Your own husband.
Sure he did.
It's a phadre at some point.
I just can't remember.
Well, they did have a fight with,
she did have a fight with phadre at one point.
Well, she never liked you.
Yeah, your own husband was going to get cancer.
Yeah, I mean, go on.
Don't.
But of course, Cynthia is like, it doesn't matter.
Yes, it does matter.
You're having a fight making an effort.
God. And she's like, it does matter because you're my sister.
My sister. Cynthia's like, well, you're supposed to be my sister. And you need to be like, no,
but you're my sister. And Cynthia's like, you know, yeah, she just says that thing. Like,
you just tear me down. You're the first one to tear people down and all that stuff. And, you know, Sunini is like, you know, listen,
you have the whole side that you don't want people to know about. And you've done stuff.
And you want people to think it was me, but it was you. It was you. So basically, Nina is
saying that she's been covering for Cynthia all this time out of the goodness of her own sister heart.
And she is like, what side?
And Mimi said this all the time. She's saying this all the time now that Cynthia has this other side.
Name one. Name one thing. Please. I mean, it's you. It's not like you ever keep anything inside.
So, please name what it is because it's not like you're being so nice and keeping everything in all the time.
So just name it because I'm sick of hearing the same thing.
So something's like, well, Mimi, what I need you to know now is when I go to sleep at night,
I'm very happy.
Mimi's like, oh, so now I don't want you to be happy.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, what?
Now, yeah, suddenly, like I'm suddenly you're saying that I don't want you to be at peace.
Like she's somehow making herself the victim
of Cynthia saying that she's happy right now.
Yeah, Cynthia is like, well, I'm in peace.
I really am.
And Neenie's like, Cynthia, have your moment there
and have your moment.
She's like, this is not a moment,
but you know what, live your life.
You know, live your life.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
And so Neenie gets up and like stalks out of there, you know,
but this time, and I like how the camera looked like it was falling to the ground like a ghost movie
Not allowed to go outside what happened like they hit an invisible wall or something
Yeah, Neenie leads and Cynthia tells us, you know, this is like typical Neenie
She always leads and I always have to go chase her and you're thinking to yourself. Okay, so I'm thinking oh wow, wow, but this time she's not going to chase after this time. She's, oh, no, she's
chasing her.
And there she goes.
And she's chasing her more slowly than Forrest Gump, who she brought up.
But, you know, it's like a very slow Forrest Gump.
Yeah.
So Neenie's outside crying, you know, because now she's, she tried to do the threat thing.
Like I've told, you know, there's a side to you and I haven't told people but there's a side which
This is also a thing that Neenie does which is that she threatens people with some sort of like that
She's gonna out some sort of vague information that she's been doing them a favor because she's such a good person
That's what that's implied with that which is classic
Narcissist perhaps borderline behavior Neenie, I don't know.
I'm not a psychologist, but I absolutely love, you know, me, I love, I love to diagnose
people as having borderline.
Maybe I shouldn't do that, but sometimes I feel like, sometimes I feel like it's really
true, you know?
Well, if anybody, it's Neenie, my God.
So she's just standing outside this time.
She's standing on the stairs because she literally has no one to film us
Who's the regular on this show? It's like where else do I know she just has a banister to film with?
So it's a banister you were my sister. Yeah, so Cynthia is like look at me. Look at me. Neenie look at me
She's holding her head and Neenie is doing I love that even Neenie's fake sob is this
And she's holding her head and Neenie is doing I love that even Neenie's fake sob is this
You're even hissing in your fake sob
fucking snake gate Yeah, and so Neenie is she's like crying and she's saying I don't think you understand the way you had made me feel
I mean calling me toxic a toxic friend that was hurtful to me. So of course Neenie has turned this all around
She's made this all about the fact that that Cynthia called her toxic friend that was hurtful to me. So of course, Nini has turned this all around. She's made this all about the fact that that Cynthia called her toxic friend. When the truth is
Cynthia said this after Nini had been a totally vile, terrible person at the reunion. It's not
like this was set in a vacuum, okay, but Nini has now turned it around, made herself the victim,
made her like like like, like pulling
on heartstrings with the, with the classic, I don't think you understand how that made
me feel because I mean, who can deny if someone, someone's feelings are hurt, you're just
going to be like, oh, sorry, you know, like everyone always feels bad when I'm feeling
it's hurt, but so, just so, Nini.
Yeah, and not one single tear, by the way, and the thing goes on for another good seven
minutes. Not one single tear, by the way, and the thing goes on for another good seven minutes.
Not one single tear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Not one fucking tear out of your eye, ma'am.
And I was starting to fall for it.
I had to actually stop myself because I was like,
Ben, don't fall for this.
Just because you're seeing someone crying
and seemingly bearing their soul,
like don't fall for this.
Yeah, but she does.
She uses sucker.
And then she brings up this, how to argue thing again.
She's like, you know, you're just one of those people
that we have to know how to love
and we have to know how to argue as well.
It's like, okay, Cynthia.
Stop trying to rebrand his already terrible branded book.
Opened.
I know.
Yes, Cynthia goes, well, you know, I mean, child, I mean, you know, you could have called
me, I could have called you, and you know, just like, you know, next time just call me,
and he needs like, yeah, well, you blocked me.
Yeah.
And then she looks up at the water tower and it has a big neon be on it.
She's like, did you do that? For a moment, Neenie is getting jealous. Like, you got
a tower? So Marla is calling Porsche while she gets her hair done to see if she's going
to Neenie's event. And Porsche is like, no, I'm not going to Neenie's event. I don't
even understand why she invited me. We haven't had any conversation. And now I'm supposed to show up.
What an aggressive invite. It says the world is a jungle. And the pride in this group is real.
Let's stop lying on each other.
Okay, I know that was a play on my invite.
I still think it's about me. And she should have sent me an invite. though I wouldn't have got it because she was blocked but still she could have
There was no way for her to send me an invite
Oh god, I love Porsche. She is just
She does so much heavy lifting on this show and Marla is like well
I'm telling you this.
In Toronto, she was touched about you helping, or she was touched.
And then we get a clip of Porsche trying to hold Mimi back from murdering somebody.
She was so touched by that.
And then Cynthia, now we start getting the timer.
We're like, why are we getting this stupid housewives timer?
45 minutes until jungle brunch, but then it becomes clear later.
There was like a lot, there was actually a lot of timer in this episode.
Like, because there was like a lot of different things happening.
It was like a track meet.
Yeah, lots of timers going on.
So it's 45 minutes until jungle brunch.
Don't, don't, don't.
Cynthia picks up Eva and Eva is like, So it's 45 minutes until jungle brunch. Don't don't don't.
Cynthia picks up Eva and Eva is like,
I think I'm going into labor,
but I really want an enchilada.
So enchilada wins out.
Chilada, she's like,
I heard this restaurant might serve sauce out of wine glass
is I kind of want to check this out
because this doesn't seem like something that should be happening. Yeah
So they talk a little bit about that but even it's like yeah, I think I'm going to pretty sure I'm going out
Going into labor. Got to drop the baby in your car
Yeah, so yeah, she's like I was like trying to like hide the fact that she's having contractions
But basically the next time we want to see some walkimole man really yeah, I get it So she's sort of like, is like trying to like hide the fact that she's having contractions,
but basically the next time we want to see her walk some walk emolly, man, really.
But then she's just like sitting on the floor in the restaurant, like, yeah, I'm having
a baby.
Yeah.
And so Candy comes and she's like, oh my goodness.
Okay.
Well, I guess we should call Dr. Jackie. So they face down Jackie and Jackie's like, um, goodness, okay, well I guess we should call Dr. Jackie so they face
down Jackie and Jackie's like, um, she's how many centum, okay, that means she's having
contractions. Okay, tell Eva to go to the hospital.
And Eva's like, I don't want to go to the hospital. So Jackie's like, okay, I can talk
you through how to deliver the baby and get you like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not delivering a baby, okay?
I came for lunch.
Oh, lunch.
Please tell me you're not having anything high on fat or high on cholesterol or carbs
because baby fit is the new it.
And then Tanya enters in the most tannu way ever.
Hi!
Just to the hostess.
I'm looking for some friends, such a jungle party,
and I'm going to be dressing jungle things.
Oh my God!
She is.
She is.
Tanya, I mean, she is so like, at peak Tanya this episode.
And like you said, that was just the hostess.
And then when she finds out Eva's going to hospital,
she goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
it was like her system just overloads, you know,
it was like it was just like a short circuit. And then someone had to like reboot her from behind.
It's like too much going on.
And then Cynthia decided, Cynthia's like, I'll take her to the hospital like anything to get out of a stupid brunch.
Okay, I'll go to the hospital. So they leave and Eva on their way out.
Even it's like, we're not ready for the baby.
We don't even have a nursery yet.
Come on, last minute Eva.
That's okay.
This is their third kid.
At this point, they should know, just put together some,
I don't know, put a pillow on the floor
and put some boxes around it.
That's like a good makeshift crib, right?
Put a pillow on a plastic bag.
Clear out an edible arrangements basket.
Yeah.
You know?
Put it in an old Amazon Prime box.
I mean, Jesus.
Literally, Jesus was in a manger, okay?
It's like what cows eat out of.
What the fuck am I thinking of Amazon box?
If it's good enough for my salt shakers, it's good enough for your baby.
Yeah, yeah, it'll be great.
So now she leaves and now it's time to focus more on this jungle.
Well, I was confused because sometimes it was called a jungle branch.
Sometimes it was called the jungle lunch.
Sometimes it's called leopard lunch and sometimes it's called leopard brunch.
So already a lot of branding issues. Well, by the time these people show up, by the time Mimi shows up to her own event, it's called leopard launch and sometimes it's called leopard branch. So already a lot of branding issues.
Well, by the time these people show up, by the time Mimi shows up to her own event, it's going to be jungle dinner.
You know, it's like she's so late. She's two hours late to her own stupid thing.
I'm not even going to. I'm not even going. I am honestly, I've just been waiting to unload about this point, but before we get to Neemy being 2.5 hours late,
we have Tanya and Candy and they're sitting there. They basically sit there for so long and after an hour of waiting,
Kenya shows up because Kenya is one hour late, right? She's just one hour late, right?
So she gets there and Kenya's
super frosty to Tanya, which is crazy to think
that anyone could ever be frosty to Tanya, but Kenya is, of course. And Kenya basically
is wearing all white and then she only has like a little bit of print on her purse. So
she's trying to sneak around the dress code.
Yeah. And Kenya's like, well, listen, it took a lot for me to invite me, but she talked about me being big and fat.
She said my child was a buffalo, so I'm going to give her an opportunity to apologize.
And I just won't even look at Tanya at all.
I won't even give her the time of day.
And so, Candy's like, well, mice getting around the rules, and Kenya's like, where is
Neenie anyway? And Candy says she's late, and Candy's like, well, I've got to be places. uh... well mice getting around the rules and can you say quit is needy anyway and
he says she's late and can you say
well i've got to be places i'm not waiting for her which
i'm never on can you decide but good for you i'd be the fuck out of there too
who does that
exactly i would because can you only say for five minutes and then left
because and and it seems sort of obnoxious
like getting mad at nini
for being late when you yourself yourself, were an hour late,
but I actually understand the warped mentality of that situation, which is that, okay, I
should have been hourly, but you, the hosts are still not here, so you have no idea.
For all you know, I could have been there on time, which means that even though I just
arrived, you theoretically could have been disrespecting me for the past hour. Yeah, you're keeping your guess waiting for two and a half hours.
Yeah, so like in a weird way, even though Kenya was being disrespectful by showing up in
hourly, it's still not as bad as the potential disrespect that Ney was showing.
No, it's totally supportive of Ney.
Already respect.
Well, no, I mean, meaning that like I say potential meaning like had can you been there from the start?
No, I know what you mean. Yeah, Neenie is just so rude
Like it's her. Oh, well here's the rights people and make some come out and then comes to in a half hours late
Geez, well here's why I'm pissed about this. Okay, so Neenie Nash Waltz is in a 4.30 p.m. Okay
Poor candy and Tanya have been sitting there. I mean, how much conversation can they have at this point?
I'm sure Tanya can drive a lot of conversation, but at a certain point, you know, they were
just on their phones, just chatting with producers.
They probably weren't allowed to leave because they needed to shoot this scene or whatever.
They're there.
And Nini Waltz is in, doesn't even apologize for being late.
This is a woman who had a tantrum last season
when everyone was late to her to her natural hair party. Remember, this is a woman who like
got mad at people for being late for that. I think this is a vanitrip, I think it was.
But the point is this, Neenie is, I'm just I'm sorry, I'm like getting so live
about this whole situation. I can't I'm I'm overloading like Tania
Let me make it easy for you Nina's Neenie sucks, okay, and I don't know why anybody's even bothering to shoot with her
I would have been out of there in 20 minutes and I would have been fuming after 20
So Neenie comes in and say hi, and she got around her own rules and didn't even wear leopard and she just had a little leopard purse
And she got around her own rules and didn't even wear leopard. And she just had a little leopard purse.
Yeah, she did exactly what Kenya did.
And that's obnoxious too.
And as Kandis says, she's like,
say no, Ranny, you're late and not in uniform.
Eh!
Yeah.
And Kandis is like, well, we're the only ones here.
She's, oh no, no, I have some friends.
They're right over there.
They're all in leopard. And it's just oh no no I have some friends they're right over there they're all in leopard and it's all the Twitter people you know how Twitter
mean he criticized someone's events that those are all Twitter yeah and then
there's all these random people to people I think one of them we've met before
there's a woman there named her name is spelled m-y like Monique but with a y
instead of an o for some reason but I think we've her before. I think she actually was on that Savannah trip.
Wasn't she remembered that's her boyfriend.
Her husband went to the same school as Fadre,
and went to high school, and maybe they hooked up.
Do you remember that lady?
She left a real impact on me.
Yeah, I mean, a real impact on me.
So yeah, there's a bunch of rambos here we've never seen.
And Candy's like, so you do this we've never seen in candies like, so you
do this a lot now. So like, yes, I do have Brent for entrepreneur women like me who want
to rub shoulders with basically reality stars, you know, it's like what the hell are these
women showing up to a shooting tape? Yeah. Because NeNe doesn't have any friends, which
is what we just learned. Everybody else is out of there. Exactly.
And so Neenie is trying really, really hard
to push the sisterhood thing.
Like, I just want to say that, like, you know,
the only people I want to be here,
I don't care that Kenny left after five minutes,
the only people I want to be here,
people who want sisterhood, sisterhood,
she's really trying to push this sisterhood agenda,
which is if you want sisterhood,
how about you show up on time when the sister's arrive, okay? There's no sisterhood if you
arrive two and a half hours late. You're lucky in this case because you hired all those
ladies to show up with you. But like, don't talk to me about sisterhood and show up two
and a half hours late to launch when I'm hungry now.
Yeah. I am. So she's updating the ladies on Cynthia. And she's like, we had a good talk.
And Marla's like, well, I did talk to Portia.
And she said she'd talk to you and even invite her. And he's like, why would she be shocked
because you called her a big fat ham or something with a ugly, with an ugly monster, baby?
I mean, why do you think?
Yeah. You know, Nini, see, again, the reason why she's like pushing this whole sister
her angle, by the way is because
now when she does extend the quote unquote olive branch and she loves to say I mean it's
the saying but she likes she says it a lot now people deny her she's she can wrap it up
in this talk of oh well she's denying sisterhood she doesn't want she doesn't care about
sisterhood it's just so I'm like, I'm really triggered Ronnie. Well, she sucks. I mean, what are you going to do? And he's like, Oh, well,
she's not going to come to, she doesn't want any drama from me. Well, I just saw her in Canada.
She jumped up with some Hennessy ready to fight somebody. I'm like, Oh, so the same thing that
you were just told Marlowe, you were grateful for her doing. And she was protecting you.
Yes. Okay. And so she's about to start going up off on Portia, Portia. And she goes, and she was protecting you. Yeah, okay.
And so she's about to start going up off on Porsche.
And she goes, let everyone has an event.
I extend myself and I show up.
What?
No, you don't.
You were in a shame.
You barely showed up tomorrow.
You were an asshole the whole time and then left.
You barely showed up to your own event just now
you're two and a half hours late to your own event
okay
it's more talk about it this poor restaurant has had to block off that upstairs
the entire day waiting for this seem to be shot i mean
please how disrespectful
got and the restaurants called no moss which is how it is means no more
well portion surprisingly portion shows up with shamiya and Tania is like,
well, if the Lord doesn't answer prayers, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh would do that. So Portia comes in and she's like well she's extremely late but I've tried
to extend this olive branch to her a few times. We've got the screenshots of your texts.
So shut up. So Portia comes in and she's like well mother their hands said I should be a
bigger person. But who are these women? Yeah.
Who are you? Sepul Dennis.
So Neenie is like, well, Marlos at that table, then on Dennis's body.
That's for sure.
That's for sure.
So Neenie is like, well, Marlow said you didn't want to be in
bad energy. And that's not what this event is about. It's about lifting each other up
and sisterhood. I'm like, what part of lifting each other up is showing up to end two
and a half hours late. That is not lifting each other up. Okay. You can't be lifted up
if no one's there to lift you up. And Porsche like yeah Well, I looked at the invitation and it was about lies and jungles and snakes
It's like um, it was just a plan lying because it's a jungle event, okay
But it's just like I just found a pond and went with it
So so then Eva calls from the hospital and is talking to candy and candy is like I think it's candy
Maybe it's tania, but she's like oh Eva's on the phone and he goes well, I think it's Candy, maybe it's Tanya, but she's like, oh, Eve is on the phone and Eany goes, well, I'm talking to Portia.
I'm like, wow, really?
Sisterhood.
Someone just gave birth and or giving birth.
Really early.
And it could be really dangerous.
It means like, excuse me, I am talking.
I know.
Wow, Sisterhood.
Sisterhood, really, really in full force.
Yeah.
Um, so needing
imported to decide that they're going to have a ceasefire. And
porches like, listen, we have things to discuss, but I'm not
going to do this in front of all these people. I don't know. And
the jungle.
So then candy is, you know, you can tell candy is pissed because she does not like
waiting.
I mean, at least she had to access the food so she wasn't going to get hangry, which is
I'm not body shaming her.
I'm just saying, like, if you're going to be waiting somewhere, at least be waiting somewhere
where there's tortilla chips, right?
So she's basically like, I don't understand the point of this branch.
I mean, she's talking about sisterhood and this is the fake sisterhood I've ever seen
in my life.
Well, I'm just hoping they cut the part out where Candy tried to get all these ladies on
her MLM dildo company.
Because this is a missed opportunity.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, by the way, we didn't talk about that there was a shooting at OLG last weekend.
Did you read about that?
No, what happened?
So not the OLG, the OLG that we went to was the, is like the OG OLG. And then
there is another location and a guy opened fire there. But I think everyone's okay, but super scary.
So yeah, I was mad. I was like, how could you do that to my candy's restaurant? That is not fair.
That's not, not not fair. But like, and I'm not making light of the fact that people could have been got gotten killed
but i i was surprised i had this like protective
like response over candy like that is candies you don't do that the candy's
restaurant you know
yeah you should have done this at tod's taco place ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Go get your tickets for this week
over at WatchWithCrapants.com
and for Charles State and Boston,
everywhere else we're going.
And we'll talk to you next time.
Bye everyone.
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