Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Love in the First Degree

Episode Date: December 19, 2017

The Real Housewives of Atlanta brings us our first scene with Sheree's new man. Collect that love, baby! This week's bonus is about Ben's bday weekend and Ronnie's Austin Bobby Bender performance. Plus Married to Medicine, of course. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramp, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Cindy Burgers, Gerson what an amazing person You can't have a burger with that bird Megan bird Just saying okay Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Kristie Dowdy the OG Prem. And our super duper premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the most gorgeous girl in Texas.

We love you. Hello and welcome to the Watcher Crappin's Podcast. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Carram from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, which is all new this week and Here I am with my gorgeous Bestie partner Mr. Ben Mandelker the beside blog in the Banta Blender and Store of my heart. Hello. Oh Wow, I got an extra credit this this this this day today

You stand right next to the sack of cholesterol in my heart. Oh, I can contribute greatly to that. Stop, Klogan Mahal, being don't you clog up my heart. I'm talking in that stupid voice because real housewives of Melbourne is back. And even though we don't watch it until it is in the U.S., I've got a credit Gina forgiven me. Life. So thank you, Gina. Well, the good news is that Tabitha coffee show will be back very soon. So hopefully we'll be able to cover that, which gives us another reason to bust out an Australian accent. Oh, yeah, yeah. You were being nothing but an extreme

woose. Tabitha, it's causing like relative, relative success. I think it's what it's called something like that. It's called look have far Tabitha can stretch her face at. And still see. I think Tabitha was actually Kate McKinnon's first impersonation on SNL. When she was a featured player, they did a parody of watch what happens. And she came on playing Tabitha. And I was like, this is pretty cool. Tabitha finally made it to the big time when which is getting parodyed on SNL, which apparently is a big deal for certain people, I guess.

I made it to SNL. That's what Erica Jansett a million times when we saw her interviewed by Brian Moilin at the Vulture Fest. She's like, well, when you've been parodyed on SNL, am I right everyone? Everyone's like, everyone's like... Everyone's like... Yeah.

I have a bunch of SNL, everyone else! Well, I was apparently on the SNL, so... I mean... Will you apparently on the SNL? I don't think so, I was... Eric and Jane on the SNL. So, when I was back, parody, well, I'm SNL. Get it, everybody!

Thank you! Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Well, I can't help but think that perhaps maybe us and all when in the army this year was due to me being poutied on it. So I will accept this on behalf of us and all. Thank you very much, Academy. Be the church lady.

My ride us. No, thank you, everybody. Today is not real housewives of Beverly Hills day. Be the church lady of my right, I said, oh thank you, everybody. Oh. Oh. Oh. Today is not real housewives of Beverly Hills Day, so... Who'd you see about sterling? I'm sorry for manipulating you to thinking that we were parodying you today on SNL.

Hello. Hello. That's Erica. We'll be discussing you on Wednesday when the premiere... the day after the premiere episode, when Watch Your Crappens will do a recap. I'm so excited to see you. So far, today is Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Real Housewives of Atlanta, I don't know why I'm just noticing this, but Kenya is like, her opening is, while some were saying, I can't, I was saying I do. So they're not married because they're not positive people. So what you're saying? Yeah, they're like a bunch of I can'ts. Well they're not saying I they were saying that Kenya can't do something. Oh, we're some were saying I can't I was saying I do. Well that's just a bad sentence. Yeah, no, it's the I mean what can you expect? Yeah, for what her

her one last year was good. I just remember it was I remember thinking it was good. Don't make me twirl. You like to swirl. I wish I can remember Kenya's line. Oh, well, and it's going to be too annoying to look up. But I'm going to try it anyway. Remember what I was mentioned by Beyonce.

Everybody everybody would be on say say 12 a time Do we remember when Beyonce powered you derecha Jane back in 1999 She knew what I'd be turning into um major question of I think the season so far for me is our sweatpants from Walmart back in because Surrey's wearing them in every episode. Why? I'm wearing my targets. What pants as we speak? They're probably cuter. Saraje's look like the $5 ones that are really thick and they get like

piled. Oh, yeah, they get like pills in a couple of days are really thick. Yeah. And she's also jangling a lot. She gets out of a car and she's like, I can't jangle because I have nothing to jangle right now. Let's see if this jangles. Does this thing jangle?

No, just sort of clicks. now. Oh, wait, I guess in the jangles Oh wait, I've got keys here we go. Okay, take three. Here's my straight impersonation You got a say you got a say you got a say you got a say you got a say you got a say you got a say you got a say you got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You got a sword? You been on it? You been on it? So anyway, so like some people have wanted, I'm finishing my basement. That's her big story line. She's finishing her basement finally. Yeah, because I need to get special doors for special places like the one set.

Yeah, there. Single, single, single, single. This episode is fully. Yeah, she's at a door store to check. Yeah, she needs doors for her one seller. And so she's there and then Porsche shows up and she walks in and she's like Oh, you're giving me Hey, and then there's like this

This guy who's running the store is like old British guys like what's happening? And she's like I'm getting things from my basement because I want a theater a sauna a spa parties Oh lots of parties. Oh lots of lots of parties and for us because yeah You need like a fabulous going up Oh, you need a knob That's what your edger is like. Oh, that's a good idea. You know, she's just have like a giant knob like in the motor room You got up You guys swing indoors. Do you guys swing in swinging doors? Do you guys swinging basement doors?

Do you guys swinging basement doors? So they start going out a tour of doors, tour, a tour, a tour, and so I'm putting my keys away. So I'm doing extra jangles. I know I keep looking around, like waiting for a viola to bark, because that's the mailman noise that Bueller writes out easily.

I figured at a certain point, we just started annoying the listeners listeners. But they're looking around and he's like, this one watch here, this is a double dual. It looks like a double dual, but it's a single dual. And they're like, just whatever one wants, a door that no one knows how to push open. A trick door for Porsche. just to blow her mind a little bit more. You'll need a knob. Yeah. So while they're looking at doors,

we then cut to Candy visiting Cynthia. And you know, uh, Cynthia welcomes her. Is the first time Candy's been to Lake Bailey and says, Cindy walks me like, I mean, Candy, she's like, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I finally got my in right. So then Kenya comes everybody and he now she's here because she's like Is that the is that the new doorbell? No, it's Kenya And since he's like oh looky there. It's Miss Daily time

Is there a magpie outside? Is there a magpie outside? So they're talking about Kenya's grandma's funeral, which is, of course, sad. And Kenya is saying how it was a great tribute, et cetera. And then we go back to the door shop. And now the women are talking about Cynthia's reaction. Her sort of like, her big emotional moment in Napa, which was really not that emotional. She just like walked outside for a second and like. She's like, I sat at the bar alone.

I put my eyes into my eyes. Hello. I dabbed my eyes with the tissue, John. I sat at the bar, not an island, then it was strange. And since he was like, listen, I was real upset with him. But then with you, because I was like, maybe I should be mad that that's my best friend. And I didn't know. And Kenny is like, look, it's not a secret that it's really ridiculous that Mark daily, I'm Mary, ha ha ha! And Candy's like, you're supposed to be best friends.

Yeah, yeah, because Candy is like, well, you know, he's been in New York a lot, and it's hard because you know, down here, I have a restraining order against Matt, and you know, that's the effects where we can go, and like, we're mainly up in New York, and Cynthia's like, chau, that was New York yesterday.

We could have had a drunk yesterday. No, that's not what that laugh she does. That like, I was in New York yesterday. It was that laugh. I like it cuts back to Forcia. Wait, was it Portia? Yeah, Portia and she's like, girl, when I got home, there was headline news. It was a max blora.

Her internet explorer. Yeah. I'm, by the way, I'm so excited for candy's reunion tour. Like I even got my net scape page going. I found them. The owl. Ow. Oh, hold on, candy's calling. Do you know you can get a free owl membership with your burger and fries?

No, that's AOLI. So stupid. I'll never not cough laugh had an AOL joke. Okay. Thank you. So, Russ, you were my favorite thing. It's so it's such a special day when you can finally make the America online slash AOL Pong even waiting for all your life Thanks someone like poor should I make that happen? I had a way to send out 2017 I am proud well, they did just cancel I am you can't cancel me no

Oh I like spilling the tea I like being so much tea I can spill a tea and then more tea so like AT&T Yes, don't be giving me a mail So stupid we're just gonna be making yeah, we're just getting different email service. We're not even hunting anymore We're just they tech tech things. That's a tech thing to Porsche. Yeah. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you.

I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. I'm not gonna get you. sporting goods everything everything he looks like both the people who work there and the inventory Yeah, he's like wider than a Hawaiian role. I was like good. I don't think he was white. Oh

personality darling. I mean, oh in the brain in the soul. All right vanilla vanilla. Yeah Well, she said she likes the swirls so she got some vanilla. That's for sure. Hey, oh Back to the puns. Good old ice cream. I moved on to Frollo. Back to come down. Yeah. So now, so actually what Porsche is really talking about with her explorer pages, she's like, she's saying,

you know, Shere, you were so lovely to open up about your convicted felon boyfriend to us. And then I get home and look what's on Tamarattattles. It's pictures of you guys and they're saying that like, you guys are getting married and like, I can't believe it. And so Shrez like, first of all, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, says, I'll definitely marry him. Like, how long have you known him?

Okay, you know he's not everything he says. He's in jail for being a con man. Okay. Exactly. But I still approve. Yeah. So, yeah, Miyamoto Lakehouse, Candy and Cynthia are talking about how Shre is wearing about the Jail House photos

and how Shre was wearing a sweatshirt or a t-shirt that's in Wifey with Tyrone, which is probably where the confusion came from. Yeah. Did you see the pics online? Yeah, Candy's doing full eye flares about this. She's like, RALS! RALS!

They're at us. Candy's like, Why is he in prison? And Candy says, Mimi said, please scan people, for millions of dollars. Look, that's more than a lot of your husbands have done.

Okay. Your husband sits around and waits to get hired for things. I can't blame Kenya's husband, even though I don't believe he's real yet. Cynthia's husband, a useless piece of shit who's just like getting her to sign cosine rents. I mean, look, stealing is still a job, okay?

It's still work. Yeah, I mean, at least it's like, you know, if your boo is gonna steal, at least make them steal millions of dollars instead of a few hubcaps like Apollo. Yeah, so it is called a criminal with really good, with really high wants, you know what I mean? Yeah, and that's good for a relationship.

So Kenya starts to sing the Erica Bad Do song, You better call Tyrone. And then he can't he's like, yeah, except, except he has to call her because she's not allowed to call him jail. Collect. So, why, why is Portia saying, ain't no world where boys, she don't have a man. Because she's at home making a vegan salad or getting a vegan salad and these two girls come over, they're match makers and Porsche, she's looking for a man. So there ain't no world where Porsche doesn't have a man. me horny cucumber's eggplant garden horny garden horny it's funny that she gets so horny through like like she actually gets horny looking at a cucumber and carrots like that's she's very literal with her hornyness yeah she's like green god green god is oh yeah so they like, so what's your sex history?

Is your sexual history? She goes, how long have you got? Yeah, still, so what are you looking for in a guy? She's like, ooh, someone who's supportive, successful, confident, wants a family.

I'm like, okay, so like the, like other things that Portia likes, he breathes air Has a face The good one of those girls goes well, I know a guy who worked for Obama for the time. She's like, okay Anyways, it could be horse racing. It could be car racing. Um, it could be turtle racing. Um, my friend, it's a German and he's amazing. Love can be anywhere in anybody unless he bald. Yeah.

Yeah, she says she's down for ball-tatted guys, but they have to like have some facial hair. Otherwise, they look like a big ol' penis. I think that's what she said. Maybe that's what she's talking about, but this scene is why I love Portia and that's why we got here. For a thumb, she said thumb. I don't know.

Of course I thought penis. So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So looks lovely. And then she shows this other room, which is like the boys' room. And I don't know if you noticed it, but there was a Casper mattress in there. And I was like, she better have used our code.

Yeah, bitch. I'm gonna check our crap in's charts to see if there's a- Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt

Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Oh, now might be a good time to tell people, like, what is up with these like random musical interludes? You guys have suddenly started to include in your podcasts. Those musical interludes are because we are working with a new advertising company. So rather than us, like we're still reading the ads,

but rather than us having to remember every single episode, like, oh shit, we have to go stop everything and read an ad. They, we just do the ads, like beforehand, and then the company dynamically inserts them. And so we have to put a musical bed and they know to insert the ad in the middle of the musical bed. And that's why, so sometimes if we're just singing, do they even insert them? They're supposed to cut out the musical beds.

No, no, no, I don't think they're cutting them out. I think it's, I don't know. I actually have no idea what, it's going to start in 2018. So for right now, since there are no ads being dynamically inserted, you just hear musical beds. Yeah, like this one. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba You should write what time is it what you should mark down the time with me 1559. Well, that was a good great musical bed. Better than better bed than ever. That's on you, so good man. We're gonna actually like probably next year when we get our acts together, we're gonna make we're gonna

make the musical beds like a Patreon thing. So we'll sing about you in our musical beds for if you're at a Patreon level. But we're workshop is a, we're workshopping that. Yeah, we'll sing about people like, Kelly Grant, the grandmaster. Grandmaster, blah blah blah blah. Anywho. So, so yeah, so so Porsche is giving a tour of her house. She also has like a little girls room and she has a playground outside, which is also kind of hilarious. Yeah, it's creepy, which I'm not sure if she owns this house if she's renting, but it looks like she just kind of walked in and said, it's big. And it was from people with a little boy, a little girl, and a playground, and it is creepy, and that's what they're telling her.

They're like, this is a little weird, and she goes, You think it's scary in him, huh? You gotta be prepared, boys, we're in girls, we're in with them! What's wrong with that? So anyway, the... What was that? You got me? You got playground? You got playground? So basically the ladies are like, okay, we're going to set you up on a blind date.

And so we have that to look forward to later in the episode. The youngest is a blind person that can drive. Oh, I like to eat because I'm vegan now. You have to have you can friendly right? So we then cut to Cynthia. And we just see her walking over some rubble and pushing back like a peeling Nasty old fence door and I'm like this has to somehow involve Peter

It's also like the multiple it's also multiple times that she's done that this season Remember she went to that abandoned barnhouse to make that date And also she's one looked exactly like the other because it is and lazy ass Peter still hasn't done anything with it She's been paying rent how long? Yeah, exactly so of course she does she walks to this fence and Arrives in like an asbestos wonderland and it's like Peter being like But it's book how you like it. How do you think I like it? It's the same Should have been paying rent for since last year. They even show a clip and nothing has changed Peter, including your ass.

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, John. Uncle Ben looks hot enough to boy the steamy potterized job. No, he doesn't. No, especially because Uncle Ben has a contractor named Claude who's standing next to him who is like super hot. It's kind of like a hotvert. Well, an even hotter version of Leon. I'm like, how could you be talking about Uncle Ben when you've got Claude next Uncle Ben?

No, Cynthia. Something must be that the fumes from this decrepit plot of land have gotten to her head. I saw a comment on Facebook, like, is she gonna steal Neenie's storyline and look, we divorced but now we're getting remarried. I called this last year. I was like, this girl is taking everything from Neenie, okay? And she will take this storyline. There will be

another wedding. It will be a donated location. God knows how it's going to top the dinosaur museum. Oh, God. It will happen. Trust. But not on a spin off Cynthia. Sorry. Yeah. And Peter is like, so what do you think? Like, it is a rundown lot. What else? It looks the same as it always has always supposed to be impressive. There aren't more cobwebs. It's called the Witsey nail. What's the rest of the thing? He's like, I'm going to murder him.

I'm going to murder him at Lanto. Like, yeah, literally. He just looks like a kill house. I'm like, you already tried doing bar one at Atlanta. We've been to this part of the zoo before Dolores So you have bar two, okay? This is yeah, bar none He's like shining a flashlight like oh over there. That's gonna be the kitchen and that's gonna be the dining room The restrooms over there. That's a family of raccoons. They live there. They'll just hang out there. Oh, there's a possum

There's more raccoons. Oh, there's a bat. Yeah This new dynamic with me in Cynthia You know, it's gonna take me time There's more raccoons. Oh, there's a bat. Hmm? Yeah. This new dynamic with me in Cynthia, you know, it's going to take me time to get used to. I got to check myself because we're not together now, but she's still paying the rent. That's still the same. Okay, bye. Thanks for coming. Bye.

I got a pit in my stomach feeling like this was the first insidious attempt to backdoor pilot Peters spinoff about bar two. Or did you get that feeling? Yes, but now that you said in Sidious, it is kind of like a horror movie set as well. Yeah, it was like there were definitely ghosts there. Bob one. It goes really like listen, we're just trying to get out of here. We haunted the wrong place.

Okay, we want to hunt something much better. We thought like, okay, this will be great. Someone's going to build something here. We get to terrorize a family or some like young people. But instead, you guys bought a plot of land. You've done nothing to it. We want to throw someone up on the ceiling and there's no ceiling. Yeah, that little doll for in the movie is like, I just want to go to old lady gang. Please let me. It's like she's the victim. Yes, it is. Just like, listen, we're all hiding under the swimming pool. We just want to rise the surface and like, just leave.

We don't even want to kill you. Okay, you can keep your whole face. It won't melt off. You can get we won't even take your little girl. Okay, we won't we won't turn on the TV. There'll be no static. Just please let us leave this all let's go look there's a pool that's a battle okay and there's mosquitoes in there please take care so shiree is with her kids right who's shiree uh well also um oh there's another well no there was like a moment also with p and Cynthia where that just a Where's it Peter's like so I've been following you on social media. I've been looking for pics of your new boyfriend

And she's like, oh, well, I mean, I don't like a boyfriend. I mean, there's someone that I like He's like, oh, well, I'm very happy for him. I was like, oh, I hate their relationship. I like Cynthia. Why are you just like? You've got I mean will seems like he'll drag you into despair also, but for now he's hot Can we just focus on him because all Cynthia does is steal from other people She still storylines from Neenie and now she's just gonna steal the whole rent a boyfriend saying from Kenya blatantly I mean at least Kenya's could pretend better will like blatantly from a Craigslist stand and I love candy for seeing it Which will be to in a moment. Yeah, so now we are at Chateau Shirei and we're 10 better. Will is like blatantly from a Craigslist stand and I love can be for seeing it, which will be to in a moment. Yeah, so now we are at Shatto Shirei and we're with Shirei's

17 year old daughter, Kaylee, who's about to go off to Howard University, so she's hanging with her friends. Yeah. Yes, okay, great. This was so exciting. That's all I wrote. They were doing like a toast and Shirei's like, you got one there? You got one? You got one? Oh, it's like that's all I wrote they were doing like a toast and she was like oh You got one there you got one you got one oh scrapages You guys got swing your doors you guys got swing your doors You guys want to double doors? So then where can't be yeah now we're a candy because we're going back and forth because I think what we're seeing is like juxtapositions and parenting like being like

Candy with a baby and Sharazed like like formative milestones, you know, Ace is learning to swim and Sharaz Dodgers going up to college. So now he's the candy She's with Todd and a swim instructor in ace and then Kayla who's Todd's daughter She's with Todd and a swim instructor in Ace and then Kayla who's Todd's daughter. Yeah, she's still super exciting It's like Kayla and Riley fighting for it droll voice of the air she's like I took a swim lesson, but I still can't swim It's like thanks for coming by Riley. Yeah, thanks. That's exciting. It's great great story Kayla because I can't she's like I don't know what that is. I'm like come on Kayla Kayla Great, great story, Caleb, because wow! Can you doggy, Pado? I can't, she's like, I don't know what that is. I'm like, come on, Caleb. Okay, love. Can you life fest, bro?

Can you even just like try to visualize what a doggy paddling would be like and then figure it out? And then thoughts like, come on, baby, swim. Wow, you swim, baby. Yeah, good for you, Ways. You're swimming. I can't believe how much he's swimming. He's like a year. He's so he can barely talk. I mean, he doesn't even potty train. And yet he's already swimming. Yeah, he's so cute. I love him. He's cute.

He looks like a little old man. You know what I'm saying? It's like a baby. But look like a little old man face. He has mama Joyce face. He's definitely Benjamin buttoned, you know, like he definitely looks like a middle-aged guy shrunken down to baby form. When he cries, he's like, there's a wrong kid. See? No. So serene. She's like, kids, I've built this big beautiful home. And now my baby's gonna be gone. And it's time for some real talk. Let me put it on a new wig. It's like, is this your serious wig?

She's like, big girls, big girls, okay? Look, I'm gonna be a big girl with my kids, with some big girls. Now have a seat. Yeah. Yeah, so she tells them that she's been invited to be an ambassador for domestic violence for an organization.

And they just cut to Karaa, and he's like, Blink, blink, blink, blink. All right, well, Kaira is not getting in. So, anyway, I just want to talk to you guys. It's actually a very emotional, strong, powerful scene where she's talking about her abuse. And the kids are like, you know, Tara, Tara, Terry, whatever her name name is she's saying how she was in shock and Kayleigh tried to talk about their dad, but then he was, he was being ridiculous.

So she just drove off plus was like after a soccer game. Yeah, he said he brought it up after soccer practice, but it was an appropriate, inappropriate time. Yeah. Um, let's talk about this. Maybe after a different sports practice. Okay. Can we like maybe talk about this when I'm not stuffing my face with orange wedges? Hey, look, I just got a free orange crush That's like all I remember about soccer is the soda's after yeah, yeah orange crush shin guards, so then I'm picking Yes, no like skyro. What do you think? He's like, um, I don't know. I'm like, okay, well, he's pretty at least.

Yeah, Cairo. Cairo just does that thing where he sucks on his lips. He's like, it's like, it's like, as long as you're getting your lip balm place properly, I guess everything's okay. Yeah, but they are like, those three kids are very sweet and they seem like good kids and they're all really cute together as a family. I think she did a good job.

They're like, we think you're like Wonder Woman. Where's movie in the world? Oh, did you finally watch it? So half of it on a plane. I don't like that she just needed a dick. Okay, immediately she gets a guy with a big dick. I was like, this movie is already pissed me off. Don't be jealous. I just don't like my Wonder Woman needing a dick. The whole point is woman power, you know? It's very woman power. She doesn't need like my Wonder Woman needing a dick the whole point is woman power, you know I'm like it's very women power. She doesn't need him. That's if you watch the whole movie You see she doesn't need him. He needs her. Yeah, whatever she doesn't need him, but

They need each other. Okay, it's like listen a lady I said he saved her life. I was like this is not tip for tat. This is tip for tit Okay, I want Wonder Woman. I don't know Maybe if you watch rest of the movie you'd see that she does a lot more saving than he does. Like, when it got to the Julia Roberts, like, trying on closed section to look pretty, I was like, I'm done. Well, my favorite part about it was how, like, um, Gal Gadot, brought that, that, like, it is a very Israeli sensibility to it because, like, everything she was just like, why do you do this? Why? Why you say this?

Okay, step on your side, what's wrong? She did have Linda Carter's just confused. But she was like, okay. All right, why you do that? Why? I don't wanna work look, okay? Okay, I work look. Why you have to do this?

Why you act this way, man? Why you act this strange? And what? I want to go save the world. OK, fine. I have to save the world from areas. OK, that's all. That's how it is. It was just like this.

Why do we wait now? I want to go save world now. Why do we have to wait for you? Why do you man act like this strange? It's like I've left it at the island. It's not even like you need a secret to get into the hidden island. It's invisible but as long as you don't like accidentally boat into it. Yeah, I mean it. This hidden island has been here for this long and nobody has crossed

this part of the ocean. Like, they're like, oh, we are not used to found an accident. Oh, let's try to kill one the woman and the lady from House of Cards. That's not even a Nazi accent. Well, remember that kid? That's like Wonder Woman Nazi accents, okay? And then Robin, what's your bench from House of Cards? It's like, I am totally talking like this, but just like the lady from House of Cards. Yeah, she was in a whole other accents.

She's like, I am good teacher and I will teach you the ways of the magic island and the bulls and the arrows. I'm first lady, but with ponytail. I don't the first comp. I die of AIDS in force of comp, but really I moved to secret island with ponytail. And I teach young girls how to be battle warriors. It's like click. No, thank you. I would rather be experiencing some rather. Did you even get to when gal, when Wonder Woman, what went like the World War I scene where she

walked across the battlefield? Hell no, I told you I got to the pretty woman part where she tried on different outfits. You literally like the, the different outfits was the best part. I love that part. That was when it died for me. I felt like I was bearing feminism once and for all.

I was like, okay, feminism. You've been choking and now you're dead, bye. Well, maybe if you watched the whole movie, you would have seen the way she throws off the shackles of those clothing and walks across a battlefield like without them. In a mini skirt and a golden push up bra, wow, you've really changed that one.

Well, wait a second, wait a second, you can't have it both ways, Ronnie. You got mad that she put it on over that shit and now your mad that she takes it off and shows that shit. Exactly, you see it's a conendrum. How would you like to dress, Ronnie, if you want to talk about toxic masculinity,

what sort of woman works for you, Rondle? Oh my gosh, she's a ray because she's got a door. She's got double doors. That's really a single door. That's power. Okay, she's like, I've got a big crew wig. I've got a wig made out of large curls. Okay, you got a more?

You got a kind of more? You got a secret oven? You got a secret Amazon? I'm like, says Amazon got to see good Amazon. I'm like so it's Amazon prime Bancy Amazon is accessible to all okay. Yeah, so I'm speaking of magic powers We then see candy taking Rally to a place called I fly See now I fly which is an indoor. It's like an indoor Skydiving situation.

And Candy is, Candy goes, see, no, rally. And I, oh, definitely, three of the seekers. And I'm like, yes, that's what I always think about with Riley, Rills. She's like, woo. She's really, really, really, really, really, really. Yeah. I kind of, this is my impersonation of Riley

on the Great American Screen Machine. Oh. I love Riley. She's turned into a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful energy girl. She's just very low energy. So it's just funny about thinking of her thrills.

I'll tell you what was thrilling. That royalty-free candy-burr skydiving music, that shit was my jam. Did you hear that music? I was like, yes. Yeah, it's like, oh. M-m-m-m. Oh.

M-m-m-m. Help. M-m-m. So she's like, darling, I'm sorry. Did I never home? Mike, can you tell everybody that you're really sorry for not being home, but the fact that you're not really home.

Okay, so cancel your dildo business or whatever, but don't just ignore your kids in the be like, I said I was sorry, but I'm on the cover of essence. Yeah, but she's also, by the way, shot like almost every scene at home this season. So I'm confused. But then she had, it's like her first time being home in four weeks. Yeah, you know, it's like Todd's unpacking for her in the background. Yeah, candy wants to do more stuff with Riley and it's like her first time being home in four weeks. Yeah, you know, it's like Todd some packing for her in the background Yeah, Candy wants to do more stuff with Riley and Riley's like, oh, you're always busy. I'm like whatever happens at better late than never That's like nobody believed that song

Yeah, but he believed it because I didn't feel it but Riley's smart. She's she has an angle She's like well my birthday's coming up. I She has an angle. She's like, well, my birthday's coming up. I want a G wagon. I'm like, oh, okay. You're making your mom feel guilty about not being around and then you're like, I can have a G wagon, please. Yeah, I can't. He's like, you're old enough to come on tour with me. And she's like, no, G wagon. She ain't getting a job. So I might come back. They're like, Hey, right there, you ready to get a job? And she's like, No. Okay. Okay. Kale is like, Wow, your G bagging looks cool.

But I personally want a wagon. It's the same for us. It's like, it's out of email. So it's time to get ready everybody. Everybody's getting ready. For Indy to my net things. So Cynthia's house will comes over and he's oh someone sent a car. And it was will I can't believe it will sent a car child. Yeah. Yeah. So some driver comes pick up Cynthia. And it was will I can't believe it will sent a car to yeah

Yeah, so some driver comes pick up Cynthia She's dressing like a orange you know beachwear thing And she's all done up and she she's going on a boat date apparently she's going on a double date with candy and Todd On a boat with will and boat Barra boat. Yeah, you know how Cynthia is on boats So she's all dressed up and she shows up at this boat and Will's like in shorts and a t-shirt. I'm like, see, this is not right. We already I'm gonna hug you way too long and look deeply in your eyes and say little nothing's it nothing

and candy's like, I'm a little if you're about this guy Do you remember um, I'll you probably don don't remember that show on MTV called tough enough and the guy who wanted it was like where you get to like You try to be a wrestler and the guy who wanted his name was maven he became a wrestler in the WWE That's who will looks like which is by the way not a bad thing cuz maven's hot No, I didn't see it, but I believe you I just don't like well. I want them to throw him in He seems like a total rental to me and candy just immediately calls him out She's like well, no, I'm a little overprotective and he's like yeah, I saw your cat. I when you looked at me She goes yeah, I did because you were on the steep hobby for dating and then on another pilot for dating

Thanks, yeah, I also By the way, I also liked the fact that like That's they were talking about like I guess Peter and stuff And Todd like if they're like because they're feeling out willing everything and they're like well You know you got big shoes to fill Peter etc Because Will was brought up Peter and everything and I like that Cynthia said, you know, by the way, when I divorce Peter, you divorce Peter too. It's about time someone says something like that on these shows. Yeah, exactly. I'm your friend here. Okay. Now get Peter's borrowed three wheeler

out of your goddamn garage before Pedro calls the FBI on you. Okay. Exactly. Exactly. And Will Will's big defense for being on these shows he's like wait wait wait now that second show was just a pilot I never accepted that yeah I know never mind never mind totally different I like the Cynthia's reaction that she's like guys if it doesn't work out we'll just break up it's not that deep and candy's whole reason isn't really giving a shit about Cynthia. She's just like, nah, I got the heat for a long time. Now it's Wiggles turn. Yeah. And then Todd was like, I am not an opportunitist. And Todd is like, hmm, I'm just afraid he's too smooth.

I don't know if I trust this guy. I'm like, you're the one whose friends with Peter and Apollo. Okay. You don't have to float above your head. Okay. With like a Chanel with a Chanel pin. You're wearing a shirt that has so many little cutouts. It looks like you're perpetually sweat stained. Yeah. Swim. Come on. Swim. Well, swim So Portia goes on a blind date and she sees this chubby thumb looking guy, which is what she says she doesn't want. And she immediately turns away and tries to run away. Yeah, she's like, which I actually, I feel like that was a proper instinct. I was thinking Brad Pitt, George Clooney, I wasn't ready for Mr. Clean. Now look Mr. Clean would be in a

Proveman that guy worked out at least. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if Porsche is Mr. Clean's type. I don't know if he swings that way Which way The Porsche lady the lady way. Oh, maybe that is her type. Oh, my god. Maybe that is her type if you know, I'm saying yeah Oh, my god. The gay is the appropriating Mr. Clean. You see how we are. So while she's dealing with that, we then come back to Cynthia and she's talking to Candy about Will and they haven't had sex yet. And she's like concerned because she's like on the one hand, doesn't want to have sex

too soon because the hell just tossed it aside, but she doesn't want to wait too long and then find out that the sex isn't good. And so Ken is like, see? Nah, sitting to be able to look at his hands because if there are big fat fingers, then he's got no big. Yeah. So she's like, she's like,

I'm 50 Cent now. I want that joke. I want big pun. I like that. I was laughing. I just didn't give a prop, sprick a joke. Who am I kidding? I want Uncle pun. I like that. I was laughing. I was just going to give a prop, sprick a jerk. Who am I kidding? I want Uncle Banger. Yeah.

So then, yeah, so Kenji's like, just look at his hands, whatever, and you'll know this house is dick. And so then they get back, they reunite with the guys. And then he's like, well, Kenji says I should look at your hands, so I don't know the size of your dick. I'm like, Kenji's like, see,, he's like, I started going to heavenly. Oh, Cynthia,

Cynthia, Cynthia's queen of subtlety. So back on portion, and did you know that when the scene ended, they did a close up of his hands. What were they big? Can't tell. I needed like a quarter for scale. Yeah, you can't tell on TV.

Yeah, you can't tell anybody TV. Yeah, you can't tell anybody size Yeah, so back at back at Porsche. Yes, back at Porsche. She's like the guys like give me a hug and she's like It's kind of hot. Is it not? It's like why are you rhyming now? Yeah, and she's gulping down water and he goes, oh, first time, you totally hit the jackpot. She's like, yeah. She goes, well, my mom is staying with me.

So I might have to leave in 30 minutes. Yeah, that's bad. Bad scene. She's already building, building in the excuses, that's bad. She's like, I'm gonna have to leave early. She's like, I'm going to have to walk out of here. The church finger up, she like holds up her little finger. She's like, ah, it's pretty funny. Sure will never leave without at least an appetizer, which you got to respect. And she gets nuts about you. And he goes, I'm messy. She says, ooh, I can get down with that.

Yes, no, like I don't clean. And she's like, ah, like The one the one glimmer of hope was there and then she's like Yeah, and he's oh sorry go ahead. No, no you go she's like you might recognize me from such television shows as Dish nation and real housewives of it the answer and he's like You don't seem like you have the ego. She has what does that mean? And he does good looking women are usually know, just so put off by you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. She's like, oh, I think you're talking about waffles. She's like, they go my ego mom said, bye. And then she's like, oh, well, I'm not really good looking.

I look like you want to get home. I'm just bald, no hair. I'm like, I have plenty of hair. When she leaves, she goes, I'm going to go stroke my B.M. Thanks. Yeah. Well, he's a nauseous, because he tells her, because they drink some, they could do a saki shot, a saki bomb.

He's like, well, now maybe you'll loosen up over there. I'm like, that's not what you say to your date, sir. Patrick. He's really gross. And I'm glad that she knew it just say to your date, sir. Patrick. He's really gross. And I'm glad that she knew it just by looking at him. Yeah, I mean, the name is appropriate because you is like Patrick from SpongeBob. SpongeBob.

Hey, that's a little boy. I just got it. So, Saray, uh, Saray and Doc, who's Doc? That's Jack Daniels, her life coach. Oh, yeah, back at City Bank. Yeah. Uh, he's like, I'm so proud of you. And she's like, well, you should be.

Because part of my homework was to have a trip for myself. And also to Kill a Cockroach. Which I just did. I got a bulb. I win. Now, that's why I'm here. Where the classiest thing I could find? Jogging pants. It's like, yeah, Saray, please get something else.

You're wearing those great jogging pants wherever you go. Yeah, exactly. So they're talking and then almost on to get the phone call from jail. It's Tyrone. She's like, I got to take this. I was thinking myself, you know, the good thing about having a jailhouse boyfriend is that when you say it'll be just two minutes, it's literally only gonna be two minutes, like that's as long as you have, like she can't go any further than that. She's like, you know, I'm very serious

about coin and that's why I collect, collect, collect. Like collect call from the prison of millionaire feeling guys, I'll take this aside, she's so excited talking on the phone. And he's like, hello, babe. He's like, Sheree, when I'm just got back from the gym and you know how that makes me feel, I just can't wait to pick you up and carry you all around that big old chat to all of yours and you can show me every single room

you have and where you keep things like you're safe and you're jewelry because that's where I'm gonna put more presence in those spaces for you. And she's like, He's like, He's like, So cheesy and so full of lines.

Yeah, he really is. He's like a DJ. He's a jack-and-all-stress. Hey, baby. I just got back from the gym. I'm in the Shake Boshance. Hey, baby, I just got back from the gym. I'm in the shape by Surrey program, baby. And Surrey tells the story. I think she's either tells us her jackdannials after their call about how basically they were dating several years ago and then out of the bluish,

he just stopped talking to her and later on when he called on her birthday or something like that. She found out that he went to jail and that he stopped calling her so that she wouldn't get dragged into the investigation with the fed and she goes, that showed integrity. I'm like, yes, the integrity of a embezzler con man who kept you out of the fray.

Well, tons of integrity. Because when the feds come, they come from all directions. As Stasi would say on Vanderprung rules, that's notebook A-A-F. And he's like, OK, baby, God is good. And then they hang up. And she has to admit this to the doctor. He's like, who was that? Capital One, did you make a payment?

And she's like, no, I'm orphan Yeah, whoa, and she goes I love how we communicate collect She's we we talk all day Mike or two minutes of the day Yeah, how do you talk all day? What tail is this? Yeah, are you guys sending smokes smokes to each other? And that's pretty much it her life coach is like I'm not getting paid enough for this shit by the way Have you paid your first bill yet because I have a sticky note here that says please pay your first bill Yeah, and also she's like I love the way he treats me. I'm like he's in jail the only thing he does is call you She's right. I'm like, he's in jail. The only thing he does is call you. Straight past the way. I'm right that down.

I like that. He is where he says he'll be. I'm like, he can't go anywhere else. He's waiting for me. Like he's waiting for release, okay? Yeah. Yeah, that was it for Atlanta. That was fun.

You guys, we did not show it at the top of our episode, but you know, we got live shows, watch your crap and calm. Come see us in Boston and Detroit and buttoned Houston and, um, Chicago to show us Chicago to so watch crap and calm. Let's out those shows. Baby, baby. Let's out those shows, baby, baby. Also, 10th of March, wine glasses are back, coffee mugs are back. You can find links to those at watchwotcrapids.com. We're just search, watch what crappens on Amazon, guys, because we're fancy like that, OK? Yeah, we'll be back tomorrow to talk some Bander pump rules. Love you, guys.

Bye. Bye, boy. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.