Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Marlo the Mediator

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

The somewhat anticipated face-to-face moment between Cynthia and Nene finally happens on "Real Housewives of Atlanta," and it's just as not-very-exciting as we anticipated. Don't worry though: Marlo is here to bridge the gap. Or at least wear crazy outfits. Plus, Eva eats alone, Porsha is back at work, and Kenya is married to a jerk. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. Check it out on YouTube and joining me is the hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Carram of the Rose Pricks Bachelors Podcast.

What's going on Ronnie? Well, how about you? Hi, you're still in New York, aren't you? I'm back in LA. I sure am. I'm laying on a bed in a hotel room in New York City. Wow. Wow.

We are coming off a pretty epic New York weekend. It was everyone who came out to our two shows on Saturday tonight. Thank you. We're probably two of the very best we've ever done. It was so fun. Crapins giving. We have to give a big thank you to Hannah Burner and K-Chestane for joining us on stage. And Lori Cooper Realty, Brenda's Realter, was at our early show, which was so fun.

But thank you guys so much for coming. I was like literally on a high. I did not go to sleep until 4.30 that night just because I was like buzzing so much in my hotel room. So, oh my God, that was such a fun weekend. It was fun. New York always treats us right. And we are going to be going next to St. Louis next week. We're going to

St. Louis is it next week? I think it is next week. December 6th and then we are at the very next night we have two shows in Philadelphia. The first one sold out but the second one there are tickets. The St. Louis show by the way does not have a lot of tickets left so we'll get those and then yes definitely come to our late show as you may have noticed our late shows are the crazy shows in a really fun way So come see us in Philadelphia and then after that You know the the the the tour bus keeps on rolling we go to Denver Seattle Then we have our big show in Los Angeles the 2020 Golden Crappies in January that'll be amazing then we go to Detroit

We go to Columbus two shows in Austin, one of them sold out, Houston, Birmingham area, Nola, Kansas City area, it's gonna be Lawrence, Kansas, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, home of the new real housewives, Salt Lake City, Kai, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, and Oklahoma City, more cities to come, keep an ear out for them but go to watch what happens dot com to get tickets so that way you don't miss out on epic experiences like everyone in New York just had and then everyone in Chicago had the weekend before that and everyone in Indianapolis had before that and so on and so on and so forth and so on and so forth and you know what Ronnie my Shannon Bulldoor shirt arrived today. Like I literally just opened it up.

It looks so good. I got mine with a nice Navy background and I'm gonna wear it when we do Krapins on demand this week. Oh nice. Yeah, Krapins on demand. We did not do one last week. So I'll be doing one this week. You'll find out at our Patreon along with our bonus episodes.

This week is a Vanderpump rules trailer breakdown coming midweek and Yeah, go get your merch and stuff shannable door tour tour. My fk's you talk is make talk of salad Ramona Christmas stuff Ramona Christmas leggings Honika stuff. Well, it's just jam packed cake It happens merch or just go to watch a crap and start all My voice got for Clems I was like remember the remember the Ramona T-shirt from the holidays last year So today we are going to talk real house of Atlanta

Which is chucking along I'm a little concerned about it so far Ronnie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little concerned. I'm hoping it's just like early season like weirdness, because I have to say, I'm not really feeling like the show is coming alive in the ways that I want it to. I'm gonna chalk it up to the fact that the cast has sort of been like not really filming together yet and they've got this, some of them are up in pride

and some are down here, there's babies everywhere. It's like not quite firing on the cylinders that I want it to be. I think it's pretty funny. I mean, to talk about it is harder, I guess, than to watch it because to watch it, I crack up still at every scene. Well, I mean, this seems to be crying, especially just kidding. But I still crack up through the show. But yeah, it's a lot of I would chalk it up to just major depression. I mean, there's like some major depression going on in this cast. Yeah. It seems very happy.

Jeff ladies, you've all just dropped a litter and, you know, like, I don't know, you're rich. Be happier. I guess we should also give a congratulations to Candy Burris, who finally heard a new baby was born over the weekend. Blaze, Blaze, Blaze Burris. So it was to hurt. finally heard new baby was born over the weekend blaze blaze blaze burras so I was to hurt uh oh cuz he came out like a blaze get it get it took me a moment and then I realized the world play you are doing

with blaze no relation to Richard's blaze of glory. Yes. So congratulations, Candy, and the fam, et cetera. You know, fun stuff, babies. Yeah. So many babies on the show. So many babies. It's actually out of control. It really is. Yeah.

I want to have a baby. It kind of just makes me want to get birth. OK, so you know what? I want to do more. I want to ignore Canyon like Mark to ignore can you know like Mark? I'm really enjoying the mark is ignoring Kenya story behind the previous leaves is who can't who comes first can you or the baby And Mark refuses to look at her. Yeah Speaking of cold shoulders. We actually pick up

With I will need to say hello to Cynthia Bailey on the Bravo Pride float. What will happen? And so we see at we see Nini walk up those stairs and she sees Cynthia goes, Hi Miss Bailey and then Cynthia goes, Hi Miss Leaks and then as predicted, Nini blows by her to give Kelly Dodd a huge hug, which honestly most people would want to do anyway. Yeah, but she didn't say how to wear it so there, darn, we were wrong. We bust our office bet. Yeah, like, well, that's a little bit of a draw because she said hi, but it was also like a very much a cold shoulder. It was a high, it was a high cold shoulder. It was a high cold shoulder that was like not very interesting to watch.

And basically, Nini is like hugging Kelly Dodd and she makes some very rudimentary small talk with Newell. She's like, you home for the summer and Newell's like, yeah, I was like, okay, bye. Yeah. And Newell's like, is it okay that we talked and Cynthia is like, yes, of course, it's up to you. I'm glad she talked to you. And so Cynthia's a little confused. I think Cynthia was ready for a fight. But then Neenie starts her victim thing again with that. She's like, no matter what has gone on with Cynthia,

we had been sisters. I can't believe she would have hurt me this way. OK. Cynthia also does like a classic bedmandal cormuv, which is like oh We're on a fight. Well when I see that person, you know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna give him a cold shoulder and then If they say something to me, I'm gonna have these very choice words for them and then instead Cynthia says you look good Miss Leaks Which is what I would do. It's something like really friendly and positive instead

confrontation. Yeah do. It's only like really friendly and positive instead. So Marlo was not invited on this float. So instead, she's just following it along into streets going, Hey, yeah, it's me, Marlo. And finally, they get sick of her, you know, just following along. So Neemie, that's her up on the float. And that was a really kind, that was probably the nicest thing that Neemie ever did was allow Marlo to like rise from the asphalt and like come up to the Bravo float. I know that was a really kind that was probably the nicest thing that Nini ever did was allow Marlotte to like rise from the asphalt and and like come up to the Bravo float at least for a little bit until Andy noticed her probably. He probably never did because he was like at the top of that thing. Andy Cohen like you know big Andy Cohen moment. Yeah, just kept poking his head over like like, you know, big Andy Cohen moment. Yeah, I just kept poking his head over like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha quite work right. It like makes it halfway through a whole swipe and the stops.

All right, when you're or when it's like or just like swings back and forth in a chair, like the fans, when you put the fan down, it just swayes back and forth. You'll like wait a minute. This fan isn't fanning me. It's only swiveling. It's so weird. This fan just asked me about how big my dick is. How's it really? There's an emergency. Watch out in New York. There's sirens outside. It's crazy. I like it happens here. I can't hear them. My God, there's an emergency every two seconds. No one even pays attention. It's like, whatever time you're on. I've got to I've got to streets across the Acapa. Can I tell you something? I, I You know like I think like last week or so on the bonus episode or maybe two weeks ago

I was talking about Thailand because as promised before I left Thailand I said I'm gonna come back and talk about Thailand on stop But one thing I talked about with Thailand. I talked about going to Bangkok and I said you know It was like a really exhilarating city and sensory overload But it's just a lot. It's like very stressful and, you know, there's just like so much stuff happening all over the place. And then I was walking around New York City. I was in Times Square on Friday night.

And I was like, like, why am I making these observations about Bangkok as if this is like any different from New York City? It is, New York City is like pure madness at times. Like I was walking around and I was like, this is crazy. This is like, this is way, way more stressful and uncomfortable and anxiety creating than anything I experienced in Bangkok.

But here we have musicals. That's true, that's true. I did have, I was able, I was able to have all this craziness like at least in the same space that Padty lapone exists and which makes it easier I know no matter what happens in you nor in New York You know that somewhere Bernadette Peters is watching TV and eating some hundred calorie popcorn It's a nice feeling to know isn't it? Yeah, makes me feel good. So yeah, so pride parade Yeah, it makes me feel good. So yeah, so pride parade.

Yeah, so pride parade is basically a bunch of probable bitches on on the pride parade and then Cynthia's Cynthia's kind of walk-wonged with her big fight and Nini, I mean Cynthia and Eva are basically just sniping for sniping from the side Because Eva sees Marlowe and she's like whatever in a lap dogs here And they're justed, sniped, but there's no real fight here, you know, and it's boring. And then Eva's like, it's all love until pride is over. Right. And basically promising a big fight, but then she's not going to give a big fight because she's just going to eat her food at a sidebar instead of the

regular bar, which Eva, listen, you're being paid for this. Yeah, I'm going to go eat at the side bar. You don't get to do that. Right. I mean, it was sort of like a funny moment, but ultimately you should sit and fight sit and fight. So then um Trixi Monaco of Atlanta comes back with one of my favorite moments of Trixi. I love when she sings about Royal It's like a class. This is so classic. This was really like This is why people Tune in to Trixie like this is why she got her career in the first place and she like went back to basics

She she stopped with all her experimental shit. She's like I'm gonna give them what they want We're the Queen of the castle bow We're the Queen of the castle. Bow! With the Queen of the castle. Bow! With the Queen of the castle. Bow! And that's what I like about a tricksy monical song. I like royalty.

I like girl power. I like like a command. And then... That's it. And they just repeat it 20 times. Exactly. Yeah. And this also dubtails so well with, of course, her most famous song which is

God said God save the queen God save the queen and guess what the queen is me the queen is me I love that that's actually had a twist in it this one just says the where the queens of this castle bow Well, what it made this a real banger is if she said we're the queens of this castle bow and guess what I Beow this castle to then like, has the twists full, triximonical. So we're the queen, the queen of this castle is Porsche going to a psychiatrist. It's a queen. Yeah. Queen.

It's a queen of this castle. It's a queen of this castle, Porsche or the shrink. Yeah. It's like, we must bow down to having a 10, 30, a.m. appointment in a suburban therapy office. Yeah. This strip mall is my castle. This strip mall is my psychiatrist.

Bow. Bow. This strip mall is my psychiatrist. Bow. So I, what I thought was very fascinating right off the bat was, um, uh, Porso is wearing a t-shirt that has, it's a heart and the heart has two little eyes in it. So it's like, Portia's not just staring at you

but her little heart is staring at you too. But the therapist was wearing a necklace and the pendant was an eye also. So I liked how their clothing was having a staring contest. Yeah, they were having to stare off. Yeah. Porsche's sad heart versus the one-eyed therapist shirt.

Yeah, all we needed was Tamra Barney's evil eye hat to really just blow it while that hat. Yeah. So the doctors, like, well, I hope you feel as good as you look, little sad heart. Like, that's my shirt. She's like, sorry. Okay feel as good as you look little sad heart. That's my shirt. She's like, sorry. Okay.

Well, your face is okay too. Porsche is like, well, today, if finally settled in, this is my situation. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Talk about something else. I'm bored. This is only episode four. I know. And the thing is this is that she posted another photo with Dennis and the baby yesterday.

So I mean, it's also kind of annoying to sit through this to knowing that she's going to get back together with him ultimately in real life. Yeah. But I do like how Morsha phrases things. She's like, because the doctor says, well, do you think maybe you just trusted him too quickly and he didn't have to earn your trust? Because, well, knowing his dating history, I should have considered it more.

But hell, when I was pregnant, I was sitting on the couch and trying to grow our daughter. I just thought that was the funny, the straight-up button. I know, that is funny. I was like, she's like watering herself. Yeah. She's like a farm to table restaurant

and had someone's late for the reservation. Like, I grew this. She probably also was trying to grow a plant at the same time. a table restaurant and had someone's late for the reservation. Like, I grew this. She probably also was trying to grow a plant at the same time. Yeah. So he was trying to keep a succulent alive. She probably thought the entire time she had a succulent inside her. And then she's like, oh my God, it's a baby. So, um, Porsche is like, when he made these decisions, he threw us a side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, bloody blah and the therapist is basically like Well, just you know just one thing to consider is that like you're like really upset right now And do you want to make a life-changing decision when you're upset? I'm like isn't that how she makes all her decisions? Yeah, that's actually good. That's actually got married in the first place. Why not get divorced that way? Yeah, that's how she got that's how she got married in the first place. Why not get divorced that way? Yeah, exactly So if you can't make if you're a portion you can't make a life altering decision when you're upset You're never gonna make a decision. I mean, you're right. It's porcelain Yeah, so the doctor's like well, I'm not saying get back with him But for the sake of the baby can you forgive him?

Yeah, basically what she's saying is do you want your baby to have hot dog money for college or not? Listen don't you want your baby to go to hot dog university? Okay, well, it's gonna need a strong letter of recommendation from the hot dog king himself So think about that think about that before you close the door and Dennis. She's like the door is bolted No, I'm not talking about a literal door because you know that poor she was like literally locking a door in her house, but like there I fixed it. I know, but she's a kind of person that wonders why she's always being robbed. Because she's like, the door is bolted. And she's like, but could you forgive him? She's like, maybe like, well, that's not a bolted door. That's not a bolted door. No, that is a door that is actually just like closed, closed and locked maybe to the generally, but also like easily picked.

Yeah, it's just like a screen door. It is a screen door. It's a screen door that actually has a hole in it. It's a part hole. It's it's basically just like some drapes that you walk through. It's just a dog cast with a door. It's basically just like a large atrium. It's a gazebo. It's a a dog cast with a door. It's basically just like a large atrium. It's a gazebo. It's a gazebo. Very easily accessible. So Kenya comes over to

Candy's house and shades her about all the stairs that she had to climb. Right. Yes. And she has exciting news, which is that Brooklyn's trying to crawl. So that's exciting for Kenya. And then Candy is talking about how her baby is gonna be doing November, which spoiler alert blaze, just blazing into this world, as I already said. So there's that. So it's like baby talk and baby talk. And you know, I was just like loving that.

Yeah, Ben's favorite, Ben's favorite plotline child. Yeah, my favorite plotline updates on the kids. Oh my God, my baby's almost to, oh my God, my baby's starting to walk a little bit, but now she's like trying to say words, oh well, now you gotta enjoy these times while you have it. Well, precious memories. Yeah, and then Kenya's doing that thing

where she's trying to like make herself equal to everybody else. Remember when she told Kim Fields, oh, you know, I'm a television producer just like you, you know, both of us with our stored careers and produce, being and acting and can feel just like what? Yeah. During this, you know how it is being a newly wed yourself. Like, uh, candy is not a newly wed. Yeah, I was like, when that came from, you're talking about, but this is not Kim fields.

You're talking to them. Okay. I'm surprised. Can't be with that. But candy had an actual being a wife and engagement life, a wedding. And she's on her. She's about to have her second child with his man. Could you stop? Yeah. Please. Uh, they've like opened up like restaurants together. They've like built roller coasters that probably weren't even like filmed like they have so many things that they do like the candy bars roller coaster or amusement park, you know, I'm just imagining because the coffee's hitting me now, but the point is this. Cania is having some real issues with Mark and and candy has even seen it. She said that like you know she's seen Mark bossing Kenya around that Kenya is surprisingly submissive in her relationship with Mark Which also is curious because Kenya was with Matt before Mark and Matt was like

kind of overbearing and abusive and so it's sort of strange that Kenya is this, it seems like there's a really strong woman who is like, you know, star shit, she's not afraid to fight and yet puts herself in these situations where she's very submissive to these men. Yes, like abusive men. And I'm not saying anybody's physically abusive, but I would not be surprised if some sort of abuse story of mine came in here in the future

and it's hard to be emotional, emotional, like there's a lot of different types of abuse. The point is like where there's like an inequality in that relationship. And can you basically tell us that she's like if I swaddle Brooklyn, Mark takes her out of the swaddle. If I put her in the crib, he takes her out of the crib. If I neglect her for three hours, he takes care of her for three hours. She said that he doesn't like when she's going to change the diaper while the

baby is asleep. He's like, just let the baby rest, which is weird. I mean, it's like a, it's weird arguments they're having, you know, I mean, I don't know, I don't know when's the best time to do it. I just think it's weird that if you swaddle the baby, that you unswaddle the baby, like that actually, that actually bothers me. It's like, to me, it's like, I hate, for instance, when someone gives me a sandwich, but they don't put like,

like if you order a sandwich at a restaurant, but there's like not enough like mayo on it or whatever, and so you have to like open up the sandwich and then like put more, put like the mayo on it or what it or mustard, and you close the sandwich up again. And for some reason, it's just like never quite as cohesive of a sandwich.

Things start falling out of it, falling apart, bread slides everywhere. And it's like, don't undo the swaddle. Don't undo the sandwich. Don't undo the swaddle, Mark. Well, basically, Mark is like one of those people who invented the bowl restaurant. It's like he took a burrito, he enrolled the burrito,

and then he just called it a bowl Yeah, yeah, so he's like turning the baby into a bowl Yeah, he's basically taking credit for being Chipotle right now Put that baby back in the burrito, sir Also, what parent unswattles their baby? I feel like parents love swaddling their baby because then it's like a little bit less work You have to do the baby swaddled swaddled up is not doing it going anywhere and it's cozy and also adorable. Like that's probably like peak baby cuteness as a baby in the swaddle. Well, I don't know that Kenya swaddling

the baby right in the first place. That's true. Kenya could be just like wrapping that whole baby up and like, and just like, kind of putting it next to the laptop, you know? Yes. That's true. She's probably like trying to plug it into this

lightning port. Yeah, it's like Jack's like wrapping a Christmas present. It just like comes like all like wrinkled and like bunched up. Come on shoes, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Diss and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up,

why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative

designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So she gets really upset because, oh no, this isn't the difference, sorry. So Candy's like, well, you're gonna have a trip, right? And she's like, I'm not having some stranger come take care of my baby. So I wanted to take the nanny, but he doesn't want the nanny on the trip.

And candy's like, look, I know that we're both strong ladies and we have to let them in think they're in charge, you know, because they think they know everything. And candy's like, yeah, charge, you know, because they think they know everything. And Kenny is like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, but at least we all know that candy is in charge of that house. Yeah. I don't think there's any doubt with Kenya. I'm not so sure. And it makes me uncomfortable because I'm not really a candy lover. And I don't like feeling protective of people. I don't like, yeah, I understand that. But at least this, I'll put this, this, this, the scene gave candy a chance to show off some real vocal range with some classic

Candy Burst modulation because she's like no they're figuring out their their flow Sarah's like marriage and then followed by a classic candy laugh No, she was that laugh No anyone I can't do that I'm sick That was that last that you know No, anyone I can't do that I'm sick. Oh, but I I was like that shows that like she was like a small hot and then like a long I don't think it sounds like she had it a new little sound effect in there that I like to It was like all these high pitch high pitch pitch, and then like a car kind of sputtering on the road.

She's at some point she's just going to start doing like whoopee cushion noises and like explosions like like those old Casio keyboards, you know. Yeah. So next up is Cynthia and Eva going to dinner at Tao. Where we get to hear Lichy Martini a lot. Lichy Martini? Lichy Martini? Would you like a Lichy Martini? Everyone loves a Lichy Martini. So it's a table that's set for three and even it's like why are there three people? Why is it set for three? Yes, it has pulled us in the air. She's going to surprise her with someone

she doesn't want to see in quotation. Yes, exactly. She's based, she's invited Marlo to dinner and Eva can't stand Marlo. And Cynthia says, if there's any bullshit, then I won't be here long. And Eva's like, well, then you won't be here long. Because her name is bullshit.

So yeah, this is gonna be a problem. So I was also worried that there was going to be some weird nini ambush because Marlo apparently is the one who set up the dinner and Cynthia thought it was weird that Marlo was setting it up. So then I thought it was going to be some strange nini shit, but it wasn't. No, but there was a lot of leechy martinis and a lot of leechy martinis big having a big moment on bravo two things that are having a really big moment on bravo right now Thailand and leechy martinis. Yeah.

So Cynthia is just basically explaining like look here's the thing with Marlow just oil tea to me, but you can't tell me that she doesn't entertain this bullshit. You know, she doesn't ever check me. And I'm like, it sounds familiar. but you can't tell me that she doesn't entertain this bullshit. You know, she doesn't ever check Neemey. And I'm like, it sounds familiar, A, Cynthia. Yeah, seriously. It's like, well, I'm not going to put up with this shit. Now, let's order.

Okay, I will have the California roll, the spider roll, the dumplings, the chicken dumplings, the pork dumplings, the salad chair over there. I'll just go buy the chair. And the way they were counting it up was hilarious because they were adding her bill up as she went along Yeah, also by the way ridiculous it was she ordered like four pieces of yellow tail and was like $32 Take a seat tau. Okay. Take a seat. First of all, everyone says your food is bad So there's that second of all you're like a club

So like, why are you trying? I mean, I understand why they charge $8 for a piece of yellowtail because they are a club, and that's what clubs do. But seriously, take a seat. Okay. I was so offended by those yellowtail prices. It should be like for one piece of yellowtail, $4 max, but really it should be like $2. And you get like for $4.95, you get, it should really be $4.95 for two pieces of yellowtail I feel very strongly about that You're basically just very cheap basically. You're just never going to towel

I won't go to towel unless towel wants to sponsor our podcast and prove us wrong and show us why they're a wonderful restaurant Why thank you to how in advance we would love to have dinner there on your bill It's been in I on real housewives, our scenes would take place in like the Ralph Sushi bin. Well, yeah, it would. Well, the thing is that there's a Tao in LA now. It's up in Hollywood. And anytime I have to drive by,

it's just like the worst people going in. The worst. But again, I'm willing to revise my opinion if Tao would like to invite us in and show us why they're actually wonderful and why we as podcasters sometimes could be wrong. So Tao, thank you in advance for dinner. It was lovely. Do you like how I'm like, you're into you. I'm literally trying to scam a free meal at Tao. Yeah, because why not? No, just not care. Tao's like, we don't care about you. Tell us like we have Cinque Bailey here. We don't need a

podcaster We have a giant pita Are you okay over there? You're ranging turning over. I'm here. Oh, okay I can you not hear me? No, I heard like shifting and sounds and things like that. So I was I said did you mean one of these? Oh I was moving my notebook. Oh, shut up, Siri. My shut up. Siri wants to. Siri is like, I nearly has another thing about town.

And I said, Jesus, Siri, did you say mean one of these? And she said, I'm not sure. Oh, Jesus is to swatch every time I'm laying down. So when I move my wrist up, it's like, what? What did you say? Like old lady, Siri. If Jean, remember, Jean is lady cereal. What was that? What was that?

You want something? Tau? Tau, you mean a tower of pizza? Gosh, no, I went to tower of pizza with Fritz years ago. It was wonderful. You know what? You make a tower of pizza. Don't complain to me when you're covered in grease and cheese by the end of the journey.

All right. Do you want you, you need a towel? Is that what you're saying? Do you ever see, you ever go to the lens? Things, oh, it's closed, isn't it? They closed down. Well, that Beth and Beyond has good towels. I don't know.

You may want to check there. No, Jean, I wasn't even talking about towels. I want to check your hamper, huh? So Marla comes in. Marla comes in. And she's wearing such a big stiff dress that she has to enter from the stairways sideways. Did you notice the?

She looked like she was wearing like she was playing a card in Alice in Wonderland, like one of the cards in the Queen's court. She did. She looked like she was wearing lump crap made. It was like, you know, when you like, when you like eat a crap and you just eat like the crap gills, that's what her, that's what her dress look like. Yes, card crabs. Yeah. Oh, so she comes in sideways and even it's like oh hell no, bye. I'd like to take all of these to go please. I'd like this, this, this, this, okay, you can leave some of that board. Yeah. She like gives like a piece for

Somarolo. Marla doesn't even like it. She clears the table. It starts to go and Marla's like, you don't have to run. Why are you running? Where's sisterhood? And she's like, we are not sisters. Good bye here. You can have some pork. Yeah.

She's like, I paid, well, I made Cynthia pay $168 for this. And I'm not wasting it with your presence. Yeah. And she doesn't even leave. She just goes to a sidebar, it with your presence. Yeah, and she doesn't even leave. She just goes to a sidebar, which cracked me up. Yeah, I like that. So Cynthia's like, well, at least she left you some duck. Marla was like, bye girl, your life's a fraud and you're broke.

Wonder why she left the table, huh? So yeah, then even as a look, it's trying to build bridges over there. And then even has sort of an interesting response. She goes, I wish Marla would just jump off a bridge with all her curiosities about my life. I was like, well, you know, it's not the best shade she's ever done. But, you know, I mean, the best episode today. She says a lot of random things like that.

Yeah. But she doesn't want to be like pointing at the camera and like doing a pop-by eye. So it's supposed to make it like really shady,, but you know, she's making it after it. Yeah, she's normally like very good, probably one of the best in the cast, but this episode, maybe she has pregnancy brain or something like that. They're coming off like a little bit like Mad Libs.

Like, I wish she would certainly take that fish tank and go swimming to the crocodiles with it. If you know what I'm saying, I'm like, I don't, I don't, Eva. Yeah, she could take a fork and it's turn ice cream for all I care. It's a quater. You're doing madlibs again. You're doing quadlibs because quad often sounds like she talks at madlibs. So, but with less flourish, you know, at least quad has some flourish with her. Yeah, quad tries to sell, she really sells hers. Just like the Abernathy of the Cuda cool cook and a Labra.

Joe the Daffodil has it baby, which is an actual quote. Jill the Daffodil has a baby. Baby. So Marla's like, well, I just had to walk inside way. It's my desserts. So Cynthia's like, okay, okay, let's talk. She goes, she is not broke. Stop calling her broke.

And Marlow was like, she had three or four jobs until she met us. And she just got that. Yeah. Like, oh God, shame, shame working people. Shame. Shame on you working people. And then Marlow is being like, let me tell you what, I don't respect better. First of all, you know you're a bisexual and you're not honest about,, like she just Marla just immediately starts going in. Marlo works so hard. She works

so hard for that peach that she'll never get. She really does. Yeah. So then even as eating fries and her confessional, she's like, yeah, I really don't care. So Marlo orders like me. She's like, obviously, Lee, she Martinies, please. And Cynthia is like, I guess I'll have one too. So they bring to Lee, Jim Martin, he's please. And Cynthia's like, I guess I'll have one too. So they bring to you, Lee, Jim Martin, he's in Marla, goes, those are both mine. Yes. Well, it's like classic Diane, we used to moment in Bullets, so for Broadway, we'll have two martinis extra dry. And he's like, Oh, that sounds great. Oh, you want one two three? Make it three. So the waiter, so Marla's like, yeah, I need a shot. So the waiter. So Marlowe's like, uh, yeah, I need a shot.

So Cynthia's like, so you're a mom now? What the fuck is going on in this world? Yeah. And Marlowe, yeah, Marlowe starts talking about her nephews and like, she gets maybe like five words at and Cynthia's like, well, no, well, is dating a girl. So let's talk about no well instead and set it like the one thing that you've done ever in the history of the show that humanizes you. Marlowe's like, well, you tasted the cookie jar and look at you. You're fine. Look, well, what does that mean?

Like you can try and don't worry. You'll turn out heterosexual. Marlowe, you're really, you're really walking a fine mind lately, lady. Uh, yeah, I, I was like basically thinking about picking duck at that point. So and cookies to be fair. So I was like, I would love to taste the cookie jar right now. I taste anything I like. I was thinking about people with three jobs

beating the shit out of Marlow in a parking lot. Hopefully, there'll be ends. With cookies. So, Cynthia, so of course they start talking about Nini and Marlow is like, well, the streets have said that you called Nini toxic as if you can't call Nini that, which is by the way an Extremely accurate word to describe Nini. She is the most toxic thing that the show has ever seen so

She is well, Kim Zolsey acts pretty toxic too, but that but they're like two types of toxicity, right? Like one is like sludge and one is more like acid rain, right? so So basically Cynthia's like, you know what? I don't want to take the high road anymore like every single time people are like, uh, like, oh, you gotta take the high road. You have to go apologize to Neenie. It's like Cynthia's always the one who has to go to Neenie and she just doesn't want to do it anymore. Yeah, because Neenie's the one always giving shit and being abusive. She says she's like blowing my brain out and people are saying,

oh, that's just NeNe. You know, I'm not gonna second that too. I get that. That behavior is totally, it's just how they are. But then Cynthia does one thing and they're like, oh my God, Cynthia, you can't do that to NeNe. Yeah, exactly. And I actually really understand that.

And I think that that situation applies to many things in life, many, many things. And I think it's bullshit. It's a bullshit dynamic. And just because one person acts like a monster reliably and all the time, doesn't mean that then they get like a free pass, you know? And then someone who, who like tries to sort of like act nicely and then like, like has like a moment of messiness suddenly, they're like worse than the person who is a monster all the time,

but it's like at least open or like up front about being a monster. I don't know. Trust me. Yeah. Are you triggered? I'm triggered everyone. I'm triggered by the scene. Tao triggered. I'm triggered by portion looking for shoes because that's like every day of my life. And I live in a wood bedroom looking for shoes every day of my like where could the shoes be? There's only one place it could be. They're not there. Where are they? Are they under the bed?

No, and then closet. No, and then to the clothes. No, and then the bathtub. No. How can I lose my shoes every fucking day? That is that is very interesting that that happens. That is that is very Interesting that that happens Maybe get like another pair of shoes that way when you lose one you can get to the other ones right away There's at the same shoe because I can I have such a fat foot. I can only buy shoes online And so I have like three pairs of the same shoe every all my cartoon character and then I'll find two of the left shoe You know oh Jesus So anyway, you do have a dog that probably like picks up the shoes and moves them around.

I don't think so because you look so stressed out every time I'm looking for my shoes. He's just looking at me like, oh my god. Well because he knows what he did. He just called it. Dog guilt. The dog knows the dog's like, oh shit. I moved from on his shoe again and now he's mad. I got got to like, cool. Maybe I look really, really guilty right now. So she's going back to work finally, at this nation. And she's getting her baby ready for work and everything. And now they're doing this thing where instead of saying, Porsche sister, they're saying, Porsche's assistant Laura is on the phone.

Yeah. Well, I think there's like a Laura and a Lauren. I just know they're saying long and oh, because then they show her later, they show Lauren later, and they're like, Porsche's assistant, Lauren. Well, there was also like, they're just straight. I think they just are like bored and they're just going to like thoughts around with the kairans because it's like the only thing to do right now because they, they show Porsche getting dressed in her room

And it's nice as 8 35 a.m And then like she brings the baby to they call an uber and she puts the the baby in the uber and it's like 903 a.m. as if like I'm thinking okay, we're gonna see how long it takes To get into a car with Porsche. Oh, she forgot the bottle. So I'm expecting it to be like 907 915 930. But it's just like, nope, we're only going to get 835 AM 903 AM and we're just going to drop this whole thing. We're just going to give random times in the middle of the episode just because why not? Yeah, just adding urgency to it or something. Yeah, urgency to a very like non-urgent

moment as Porsche gets into a car. I don't even know really why we needed the scene. I think they were just trying to cobble together an episode. Basically, I think that what happened, I think this was like a placeholder episode. They knew they needed to create some sort of drama between Cynthia and Nini and then sort of like sort of like build something around that. But then while that was happening up in New York, literally nothing is happening in Atlanta, so they just have to fill time with watching Porsche gather bottles of milk and bring them to her Uber. I forgot to milk.

So then Nini is in, is she's at the boat house in the park and she tells some kids over the back and she's like, are you kids cursing? There are adults here. Really? I didn't see any on TV. Whoa, burn. This is that fun loving Dini added again. Dini, Dini known for her proper decorum in public spaces.

So then Marla comes up and full on dream girl sequence. Yeah. Dini's like the same studio studio 54 bitches is the boat house. Yeah, it is like a gold sequin jumpsuit and like she has a tith that's about to fall out of it. And it's also by the way like 1 p.m. and everyone's just in you know lunch, flowy lunch garb. And Marlow is so extra.

I mean, I just don't know if like, I don't know whether or not I should just like, love it or just roll my eyes or maybe somewhere in between. Marlo. Fucking love it. She's hilarious. At least she's herself, you know. So Marlo is like, well, I went to Lutra Cynthia. She didn't tell me she was bringing Eva and then Eva left the table. Well, at least I got some poor. But all I did was tell everybody what a bridesmaid said and then we got the clips of You know why Marlow is so hateable and so completely wrong So basically Marlow is telling Neenie that she needs to make up with Cynthia Which is not really the nice the best thing to tell Neenie and Neenie Neenie is now acting all innocent

She's like, you know Cynthia was going to every blog and every podcast and every outlet to talk about how terrible I was. And then I finally did one interview, you know, and now a lot. But it's like, even if you did just do one interview, you have spent years and years being awful to Cynthia. And when you guys had your last fight, how about this like doesn't Neenie remember when she went on like her fight with Portia from I think two years ago or so when it was like the same thing it was like she was mad at Portia over some stupid bullshit

and then went everywhere and talked shit about Portia went on to watch happens live and say that Portia should be fired or whatever it was. I'm just saying that Neenia is hypocrite and not enough fun. Totally. And I love how she lists it. She's like, she has gone on every interview. So she even went on candy. So wow. She's really making the big, the big interview runs over there. Yeah. And again, and again, Neen, Cynthia and all the interviews, Cynthia was saying, like, I feel like she was always come to gun their friendship. And Neenie was the one in her interview, just like, she's weak. She's, you know, whatever she said, she's weak. She's

stupid. She's like afraid of life. Whatever it was, but she goes after Cynthia as a person. So hers hit more below the belt, not that it really matters, but, you know, Yes, that's those are my thoughts. Okay. Okay. So Neenie's like, you know, I was a real sister to her. A real sister. And the last thing I want to do is cry. Is that octopus because I'm not eating fucking octopus. And she's like, yeah, well you eat calamari. And she's like, not that kind. Yeah, and I was like, so we get to see Marlo deep throat and octopus. And she's like, yeah, well, you eat calamari. And she's like, not that kind. Yeah. And I was like, so we get to see Marlo deep-throated octopus. Yeah. And then I was like,

okay, that's cute. That, uh, well, that was a nice scene. And I was like, oh, no, the scene is still gonna go. So now, and he means like, well, you may, you know, I like appreciate you trying to get me to like have a talk with Cynthia. But I'm going to tell you right now, I am not going to have a talk with Cynthia. Dun, dun, dun. So then it goes to commercial. And then we come back and we're still at the same scene. I was like, wait, there wasn't even a, was there a cliffhanger there? Why are we still with Neenie at the boat house?

It is still going on. This seems to be going up for 10 minutes and nothing has happened. Yeah. And Neenie's just getting mad because someone's telling her to apologize and that's her biggest trigger. And she's like I have to be the one to give the apology and these people just get to sit back and look at me like I'm dead wrong No way she gets up and Stomps out because Marlos but but Marlos like I like can you at least acknowledge that there's some part of it that you also contributed

Towards this thing and that's what he needs like now and runs out of the boat house and that's when he needs like no and runs out of the boat house. And it's like the saddest chase scene ever because he's like, I'm leaving. But instead of getting into a high-speed taxi cab, she's like, get away. It's like one of those really slow bike petty cabs. And she's like, I will run away. She gets to this thing is like, and I'm too lazy to like walk at a normal gate, just to reach her. Like literally Marlow could have just like casually

strolled up and been like, we're still talking, but no, she's just like, well, she's on wheels. I mean, it's a poor guy. It's one man on a bicycle lugging Neenie leaks. How fast could it possibly be Marlow?? Or make it effort? Yeah, get a skateboard. Or another Petty Cab. I would have loved like a Petty Cab version of Fast and Furious, but it'd be like the slow

and the mildly irked. The slow and the not even curious enough to follow you at a slow walk walking base. So let's go to the op-jian. Let's go see Dr. Jackie. Oh, good. What's Dr. Jackie doing in her life? I need to know.

I was worried that we were going to like not have another scene that had something to do with babies. So this was made me really happy that we did this. Yeah, congratulations. Here we are. So Ace Todd and Candy go to see Dr. Jackie, because they're gonna have an exam with the baby. I. Yeah. And Candy's like, yeah, now I see what it feels like

to be a dude during the pregnancy. It's poor woman, like once her feet rubbed and her back hurts and men just sit here, you know? Now I know what it feels like, but I like it. Yeah, and then, you know, there's some discussion about who's gonna cut the cord, and like, you know, Candy says Todd can cut it, but she will do it too if necessary.

And then Dr. Jackie basically is telling them that when the baby comes, they immediately bring the baby to Candy who's gonna be another room, and like put the baby on Candy's chest, etc. And then that's gonna be like it for Candy and Chadina because I am imagining as someone who's not on through this myself I imagine that they immediately sever the relationship so that way there's no weird situation with the surrogate in the baby I would imagine because I've seen a lot of lifetime But I don't know yeah, I don't really know, but that's what they make it sound like.

She's like, okay, the baby will come out. Someone will cut the cord. A trapdoor will open. Shadina will fall through it. You'll hear screaming and grunting sounds as a giant plant eats her. The plant will be fed. Go to sleep for the night while you rest with the baby and leave out the back door. Okay. We are the hell? We are sending Shadina to a place that will just call Fadreland. You will never see her again. By the way, Apollo's out of jail. Did you know that? Hot. Did you see those pictures? He's like looking great. He looks... well, he's always look great, but like, you know, I...

Joe is one of the best gyms in America. You know, I see why it's catching on. Yeah, but you know, some people go to the best gyms in America. You know, I see why it's catching on. Yeah, but you know Some people go to the jail gym and they come out Joju dice, but Apollo comes out like Apollo, you know Yeah, but Apollo went in Apollo and Joju dice went in Joju dice. You know what I mean? You can only you can polish a diamond That's true. Yeah, you know, you can't just make a diamond out of dinner Yeah, Joe just came out to be circony him Yeah But you can't just make a diamond out of dinner. Yeah, Joe just came out, keeping circonium.

So then we're back with Porsche. So she's going back to work and she's like, here's your and my job. We just about everybody's tea and pop culture. But right now pop culture is all about my tea. It's like, okay, I wouldn't go that far. Ma'am. Yeah. Pop culture is all about my tea. It's like, okay, I wouldn't go that far, ma'am. Yeah. Pop culture was never really that shocked, okay?

Although you did get us with that bestiality headline. I will have to say that. Yeah, exactly. And I think we should, like at some point, I would like someone to circle back to that. I feel like bestiality and pretty Jessica are these two things that Bravo just dropped on us but hasn't really followed up with.

And like, that's like really not cool. Like it's Thanksgiving time and the best way to show thanks would be to have maybe a B.C. D.L.D. pretty Jessica explanation episode on Dallas and Atlanta thinks. Yeah, so we need for our holiday times. Gather the family around. Yeah.

So, yeah. So the point is that it was great going back to work was great. She had so much fun and she brought PJ on and they kept PJ on the whole time. And they she had so much fun doing it because kept her mind off of things. And now she's actually excited to be at work. And now she definitely wants a daytime sitter. So that way she can work more and more and more. And especially if she has a nanny, she's going to be able to heal better

because she won't have to communicate so much with Dennis, the nanny can do it all. And that way she can like have her, like be with herself and heal more. Yeah. And she's like, I've had nannies during during the day, but you know, some dannies are just like dowsing me with some information. Then the other nannies, like worrying about her money. And then other nannies just want to talk about my job all day like bitch go wash the baby. And you know that's like such a nanny of a real house wise watcher like girl. What's meanie really like. Yeah exactly. You change the diaper please. Basically like okay that's like what I would be like as an Annie. So tell me everything. What about Cordell? I'd be very bad.

Very bad. You're like bringing up information that everybody's bored with. The word is like Cordell. That was five seasons ago. Asked me about the hot dog guy. Yeah. So now we're over at Kenya's house.

Because when Candy was at the, at Dr. Jackie's, Kenya sent some urgent messages like you must come over Please come over like I'm going through like a crisis. I need you here right now And then Kenya comes over and Kenya's like hi, and she's like setting out like crudite's or whatever like wiping down her counters All happy and Ken is like Like not no not knowing what's going on. This is why Kenya can't keep friends, by the way. She's this friend.

It's like, I'm at the hospital checking on my baby. And Kenya's like, you must come over. You must. I have to complain about my husband, which I couldn't possibly do over the phone. I need you to drive all the way to the well and the ground to talk to me about my husband. Jesus Christ, stop wasting my time, Kenya, okay? Yeah, seriously. So, Kenyan and Kenya both want a breast reduction, so I'm sure we have that to look forward to on a future episode, dual breast reductions, possibly by Dr. Curve

himself. And Kenya is like feeling a certain sort of way because she wants a reduction, but she can't have it until she gets rid of the milk in her boobies. And she still has, she's still lactating, even though apparently she hasn't been breastfeeding in a moment. So like, I guess that was the emergency. I don't know. But ultimately, this seg weighs into talk about Mark and basically Mark, when Kenny gained weight from pregnancy, Mark got turned off.

And their whole love life has kind of dried up. Um, dried up with an odd term. So the, um, basically she was talking to Candy earlier about how awkward her anniversary trip is going to be. And they got in a fight about the nanny again. So she just went on the vacation with the baby herself. That's the question. It's Jackson K. Ghost trip. Yeah, yes, because they fought so much that she's like, fine, I will go on the trip with the nanny and the baby. And I guess he was like, well, I don't want to be on the trip with the nanny.

So I have fun, bitch. So he left her and it's just candy. It's like, yeah, this is really awkward, you know, because you're not supposed to tell your friend leave the guy But leave the guy Leave the guy. This is obviously not gonna work and you're obviously not gonna make it work because you're completely completely ignoring I don't know I have no right He does

Fucking douchebag too, so I mean, I don't know who to root for here Well, I'm't know who to root for here. Well, I'm gonna root for Kenya because this guy, first of all, like he said he didn't want a nanny on the vacation because then he wouldn't be a real vacation for him, he wouldn't be able to like relax. But then as Kandy says, so then like you having to 10 to the baby every minute, how is that a vacation?

You know, like what's the deal with that? I just feel like it's, I don't know, I think that marked something. I think you were saying what I was getting was that he wanted to go on vacation it's his first year with a baby and he wanted to go on vacation with the baby. I'm like spend time with the baby

and he didn't want, like when you have a nanny, that's like another family member there with you, you know? Yeah, I think that's what he's saying But then here I am in the position of standing up for this jackass who's a jackass So well either way, I mean candy's basically like tell tell mark how you feel and then that's when Kenya starts to cry and Saying that they had an argument and you know she you know They they're sort of like this implication that this was like a bad argument and like he said some real nasty things to her. And, and she just, Kenya, all Kenya says is that Mark doesn't compromise. And then she goes, and I'm not a fighter. And of course, I just show a montage of Kenya fighting with everyone on the cast. Yeah, the bullhorn right before she gets dragged across the floor.

Yeah. And so basically, like, Kenya basically says that Mark, when they were dating, if they had a disagreement, he would be like more refrained about the words that he would use or like, I guess, she's basically implying that like when they had arguments, there were like arguments. And now he just like goes in on her and, you know, is awful to her. And then the producers like, well, what does he say or what's his tone? And she's like, I'm not going to say, I'm not going to say. So obviously things are like really bad.

They are. I just noticed after watching Kenya for so many years, that Kenya always finds a way to frame herself as a victim of something. Always every single time. And I've learned my lesson with Kenya, but in this case, I think this guy is a total jackass, but he doesn't seem like he was a secretive jackass where he was like nod to jackass and then suddenly was a jackass. He seems like a pretty overbearing jackass. So my, my basic cloud is get him away from me. Okay. You can choose to have him in your life. I choose not to have him in my life. He's gross and he's abusive.

I don't want to mirror me. Can you get him out of here? Yeah, he seems like a total douchebag. And he should have brought an A. He chose not to go on to Turks and Kekos because she wanted a nanny there. Just think about that. Just think about that.

That's like, what sort of judgment is that? Is that a judgment you want out of your husband? I don't think so. I think you want a husband that says, not only where you get a nanny, but we are going to get like a nanny for the nannies that way. Like there's no like, there's like we will get a full night of sex

and sleeping in the next day Interox and Kiko's and paradise not like I would rather stay in my cramped apartment in Brooklyn and have no nanny Then go to paradise and have sex I don't know if my logic is tracking, but it felt really good as I said it Well, could you go boy? Thank you. That's all I needed. All right, well, that brings us to the end of the real house. So I was in Atlanta.

Everybody. It's a thrilling episode. I'm hoping next week things start to pick up. It looks like the cast will be coming together and we'll start to get a little bit more, you know, like substance, I suppose it's just these one-on-one conversations about babies. So we're looking forward to that. and and then we're gonna have Real Housewives of Orange County and then we're gonna have Mary to Medicine. I think Thursday. Okay.

I don't know. Well, whatever it will be here. We'll be here. Just subscribe and just see what comes down the pike. Bye, everybody. Bye. members you can listen to Watcher Crappens add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.