Watch What Crappens - RHOA Married2Med: Hot Dog Day Afternoon

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

Real Housewives of Atlanta changes up the couples trip when half the men bail and Porsha spends a day at the hot dog factory. Married to Medicine ends a strong season with a whimper, but don'...t worry: there's a month of fiery reunions to look forward to! This week's bonus is dedicated to Top Chef. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live has added a second show to Dallas on Feb 8, plus announced shows in Vancouver, Irvine, Boston and DC! Find ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com **All of this year's Limited Edition tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com until Christmas! You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:02:40 our big Phoenix show. We're doing a Phoenix show. We're going to Phoenix. Everyone is not exciting. We're coming. We're going back. And unlike, unlike our last Phoenix show, we will not be going on the longest day of the year, which is not always the most pleasant day of the year in Phoenix. We're going to be learning about traveling a lot is when to go places. Okay. We live in LA where it's always like 80-ish. So going anywhere, we're finding out what winter means with summer really means. You know, we're learning a lot of things. Yeah, it's really exciting. So our Phoenix show is going to be on April 6th. We are going to be the, there's a pre-sale on Patreon. It's for anyone who supports us on Patreon. Those, the tickets will go on sale for Patreon people on Tuesday and then for the rest of the world on Wednesday.
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Starting point is 00:04:15 Yeah, it's going to be super exciting. So just when all else fails, just go to watchupcrapins.com. And there'll be links to anything you could possibly need there, all the information. And we're going to have more shows that we're going to be announcing soon. So, Gurd, your lines, because it's going to be a crazy 2019. Yes, but here we are still in 2018. I know we are we are here in 2018 and we are in Atlanta. Let's talk to some real housewives of Atlanta, shall we? Yes, please. Yes, please. I mean, look, this really gave me, I thought I was going to have to get to Porsche's wedding to get the scene that I've been dreaming of the entire season so far. And that is partial working in a hot dog shop. I mean, that's really like the season can end now because
Starting point is 00:05:11 that's really all I needed. Yeah, I was, yeah, pretty much opens there. And I was like, like, as the show was opening, I was like, oh, damn it. I should've named last week's Atlanta recap hot dog bun in the oven. And like within second, she's like,'s Atlanta recap hot dog bun in the oven and like within second she's like I got a hot dog bun in the oven. I was like well, I guess that's so much for that. Well, hey, like when you can when you can honestly tell yourself that you're on the same thinking level as Porsche. Yeah, you know, it's exciting. I don't really know how to finish that.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm actually there's no reason to finish it. It's just a dot dot dot. It's like everyone everyone knows everyone gets it Um, so Portia did something very bold which is that she showed up in like a Kim Zolciak wig. I was like whoa Portia Portia Ciac. Oh my god. Nothing could be as straw As straw like as a Kim Zolciak Yeah, you know that Kim Zolciak probably has like 10 punch out cards the hot dog factory You know, she like, yes, those hot dogs like she has the like,
Starting point is 00:06:08 she gets like the family, the family discount thing. She comes back with a giant like net of hot dogs. Yeah. That's rude. I always like to. Porsche. I'm in healthy now. I'm having veggie dogs from the hot dog factory.
Starting point is 00:06:23 So, um, yeah, you know Portia is doing a really good job of advertising her man's business for free left and right all over the place. And I've been mad at Dennis' mom for acting like she's doing Dennis such a huge favor because he's the one getting all the advertising and that's not cheap. But she's also getting her own advertising in. You know, she is like all hot dog workers, you know, like corn dog and a stick workers are like damn look at that blonde wig I need that yeah Yeah, his mom is like full on working there. I didn't realize that she was like really really working there Which was cool and I what I
Starting point is 00:06:56 What I was entertained by I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing I don't know if I'm gonna assign any value to it, but to me I thought this hot dog, this hot dog factory place was like, I mean, I knew it wasn't like an elegant restaurant. It's called the hot dog factory. But I thought it was more of like, for people who live here in LA, I thought it'd be sort of like worst-cut butcher, like downtown. Have you ever been there before? Um, no. Okay, so, but I thought it was gonna be sort of... Sorry, did that have more judgment than I intended no, no, it's a shame actually we should go there and you can get the vest I'm not going down town for a hot dog. Okay. I'm not traveling for a fucking hot dog. They're hot dogs. Okay
Starting point is 00:07:34 Everybody get over your little hot dog fixation like it's something goddamn new in the world. Okay, guess what? There's donuts to their sausages first and foremost and they have amazing fries. Well, I love that. Okay, I mean, I'll try. I'll try for fries. But the point is this, I thought they sort of had, I thought this was sort of like an elevated hot dog kind of like fast casual spot, but it was full on just like fast, it's a hot dog shop. It's like literally just like they were there.
Starting point is 00:08:01 It was full on fast food, which again, I'm not assigning value to it. I just thought it was funny because I just thought I thought that it was more the hot dog factory was more up market than it was. Well, this is a straight up hot dog shop. Okay. And by the way, just because I'm feeling extra angry tonight, because we're doing this on a nighttime instead of a daytime. So I've got the extra weekends, anger juice coming through me. Fuck you. Elevated fast food.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Fuck you. That just means more expensive. If I want elevated fast food, I'll sit on the stool of McDonald's. Okay. Now, second, my dick, it charged me a dollar for a burger. I dare you with this elevated fast food. I'm sick of it. Two things about that.
Starting point is 00:08:41 One, I feel like someone was telling me that all those new touch screens in McDonald's have like lots of cement on them, which is disturbing. It feel like someone was telling me that all those new touch screens in McDonald's have like lots of semen on them, which is disturbing. It's not going to stop me. I think I think screens everywhere I have it done the same thing. That's what I said. I'm just seeming all over this world. Second of all, um, I went to a restaurant today for lunch. I met a friend what a stupid restaurant is. You you've heard of this like, I'm creation, juice bar or something like that. I think it's called creation with a K. Oh God.
Starting point is 00:09:11 So this is like three right to the Bible, guys. This place being in there, I felt like I was on a bravo show. This is where a place that only comes to bravo show. They serve me a glass of water and this guy goes, would you like me to put some chlorophyll in that, but I didn't even hear him. I didn't even know what he was saying. And next thing I know he was taking an eyedropper,
Starting point is 00:09:28 full of green shit and putting it in my water and my water turned green. I was like, uh, what? Why is that? Why is green? Is that something people do now? I was so L.A. It was so obnoxious. That is so L.A.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Would you like some chlorophyll? Listen. Okay. How about some chloroform? Okay, I'm very into my sleep It was there was like so much going on and like the ordering process was like it was I wish I could have retained it all I was I was cracking up So like when you go to someplace like that Where they're putting droplets of chlorophyll in your water for some alleged health benefit?
Starting point is 00:10:04 You know a hot dog stand does not seem so bad. Yeah. And fuck you, creation's spelled to the K. Yeah. Like it was so obnoxious. And Ron, you would've hated this. They had both my water, my water became with like a metal straw, but then my friends juice came with a paper straw.
Starting point is 00:10:23 So it's like two types of straws that you hate. Yeah, it's like a metal straw, but then my friends juice came with a paper straw. So it's like, two types of straws that you hate. Yeah, it's like a straw street fight. I just be fighting all your pose or straws in the street. I was like, why don't you have like, just like all of one type? Why do we have two different types of straws happening here? And Owl and Ty just hurt my teeth. And you know what's gonna happen is that
Starting point is 00:10:40 someone's gonna come out and like, probably, I give it five years before the story start coming about a lot dangerous straw coming about about dangerous straws How dangerous straws are to people who drink paper straws and that were swallowing pieces of paper and they're getting stuck in our guts And now we're like to fish you know Just fucked for the rest of our lives, so thanks paper straw people Yeah, okay, no the point is this is not elevated hot dogs. This is some hot dog ass hot dogs. Okay. It's just a hot dog place and This guy is just watching Porsche and her blonde hair like he's worked there before
Starting point is 00:11:12 Did you see that guy in line? He's like this girl has no idea what she's in for okay? Yeah, the guy in line was just staring at the camera like he was transfixed and then staring at Porsche. He's like what is happening here? What is going on? Um, excuse me. I thought this was an elevated hot dog place. Hi. Um, do you have any rattlesnake hot dog? No, no, okay. Uh, I mentioned that because worst coach actually serves a rattlesnake sausage. Okay. Well, if people die from it, you get what you deserve. I've had it, it's delicious. Well, I wouldn't say that to you.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Until you were healed, and then I would say, like, God, I'm glad you're healed. You deserve that. Yeah, rattlesnake. So anyway, and how is, I mean, this is, I mean, it's like, how does Dennis, like, running a fast food hot dog stand? How is he affording all this, all these jewels is giving to Portia. I mean, you don't even have to answer that.
Starting point is 00:12:09 It's almost, it's a rhetorical question because we know he can't afford any of it, right? Well, don't forget he also owns a hukabah. Oh, oh, I forgot. The lucrative hukah hot dog complex. So the mom and he actually works here as you pointed it out. And she comes out, she's like, you better put that wig away. Stupid.
Starting point is 00:12:31 I just got to put on. And Dennis actually makes Porsche work. She's like, I thought it was going to be five hours. That was eight hours long or five minutes, she thought and it turned into eight hours. She was like, he's cracking the whip. Like, this is my first hot dog of the day. There's something like that. He was, I mean, he was like fully working. I mean, to his credit, he was not like, just like, he wasn't like Peter or Peter's Brute.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Wasn't like this fake, like running a bar thing. Like, he was really, I mean, he was, he was working on hot dog stand. I'm getting credit where credits do. Well, the big guy who works there, you could tell that he's the one he really works there because he just kept staring at the camera and staring at them. Like, get the fuck out of my kitchen. Okay. Like, this is my domain. Okay. This, this isn't the proudest job in the world to have any way grilling hot dogs. Okay. But this is my place to grill hot dogs. Yeah. I'm the king of this hot dog grill. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, uh, yeah, it was pretty small too. Again, I'm not gonna fix it too much on this hot dog place.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Well, you couldn't fix on it more than the mom is fixated on a pre-dep. So she's, where she's like, I'm gonna break. He's like, yes, because I'm losing money on all the fucking Oreos your eat that you're playing. Yeah, so she sits down with the mom and she's like I'm tired she's like you barely worked okay she goes well I think they're me and Dennis are obsessed with each other she just tell me is there something I need to know because you're moving pretty fast and I just want to be kept up on the progress of this relationship let's talk about that pre-mep again. Yeah. Has he given you a hot dog promise ring yet? He does that a lot. He's giving me hot dog dissemination. I've got 90 hot dogs running around inside of me, forming a hot dog baby. I just imagining the opening credits of Look who's talking and you know like the opening credits that movie where they see all the sperm like racing through the
Starting point is 00:14:32 To the To the the fallopian tube to wherever And I'm just imagining just little hot dogs instead just watching to see it really slowly like Dennis Let's go out to an egg That's a little plastic little plastic diamonds and stuff. So the next scene. Next scene is Cynthia at home. Does she get paid extra for only shooting at home? I think that she's like officially sponsored by some sort of granite kitchen counter company or something like that
Starting point is 00:15:05 or whatever material it is, not granite, but whatever she has. Because it's once again, it's Cynthia just lounging around her kitchen, leaning on counters and facetiming. This time it's Nini to deliver the bad news that Mike will not be coming on the couple's trip. Like Mike Hill was going to come. Yes. on the couple's trip. Like Mike Hill was gonna come. Yes, yes. And so now it's just gonna be sin instead of
Starting point is 00:15:27 Chihil, which is just the damn same, you know, because we were gonna get to see him and now we're not. And so Neenie, who is doing this nice act still, which I'm liking, I'm enjoying having this Neenie back. Yeah, I'm falling for it. But really, yeah, I fall for it. I'm very easily swayed. So she's being nice, but now really all she's doing is yelling and I think it's to convince herself to she's really nice to
Starting point is 00:15:50 Cuz she always has a little yell, but now the whole this whole episode she was like Well, that's a problem Cynthia because this is a couple of trapping one thing we know about this Oh the bunk beds and copper cup up like okay, okay, you're nice. We get it Could you be nice more quietly please? Yeah, exactly So then we go to Shemari's house and she's like fuss futsing like she's we're seeing a bunch of her wigs one of which looks like Tabitha from Whatever that no Australian New Zealand Tabitha whatever his show is called like get a room, no, that's Carson and Tom. Oh God, that is a show for Tabitha. Tabitha takes on Shomari. That could be a whole season of just, uh, she's like, I appreciate you here, but we need to work
Starting point is 00:16:34 on, we need to work a little bit here, the other things here. For instance, uh, everything that you're so endless is bringing over. For instance, um, so our stylist comes over and he's, and she's all excited. She's like, you know what? Like, I am not going to be labeled unfashionable anymore. And the stylist puts out just like the worst clothes we've ever seen. Yeah, they're pretty bad. But Shemari doesn't know the, I even wrote Shemari this time. Yeah, I'm proud. Sumari does another difference. Kishikas, okay, I like that. That's very tropically.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Tropically. This guy brings her a denim boostier. Okay, and then some sort of like polka dot, rhinestone, sheer leggings. Like what part of this is fashionable? I mean, this is make Marlo look like friggin, you know, a vogue magazine, whatever her face is. I'm blanking on an an all-time. Well, where does she say she's from Decatur when tour?
Starting point is 00:17:33 Does she say she's from Decatur? Is that what she says? Yeah, and I think that's also where she gets her clothes. Decaturing all. Decaturing. Um, didn't do it. She's just like, that's too big for me. Decadering. Didn't done to address this like that's too big for me. So
Starting point is 00:17:46 I was just asking because like you can find a gay for the cater but he's still from the cater, okay? But yeah, it's not gonna help find a local gay, okay? Yeah, like you like find maybe or just like oh like go to any mall That's like that's like you know like that's current, you know, like you're just like anything is better than this guy. Yeah. And then Ronnie's there sniffing her seat through pants and stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:13 He's like, I can smell your butt already, you know, classy couple. And basically they talk about a bunch of shit nobody cares about yet. Like, Porsche pretends she doesn't know me, you know? We're from Decatur, we know each other. Please stop acting brand new. Yeah. Which doesn't know me, you know? We're from Decatur. We know each other. Please stop acting brand new. Yeah, which unlike the clothes that she has so
Starting point is 00:18:32 Unlike the fashions she has and then and then like the scene ends on this weird no where Shamaris bits an ice cube and Taroni's Cups his red solo cup and he's like that's disgusting. She's like no He's like if I do that to you, you think it'd be gross. She's like, yeah, that's true. And I'm like, you know, there's been a lot of questionable oral hygiene on this season. I have to say, I mean, really, when you open with their sperm all over touch screens, this really doesn't bother me that much. Yeah, this is, yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:18:58 This is very true. So then I got my, my Bravo Direct TV glitch. So when I came back, I was with Candy and Riley. So did I miss anything of note? I think the Bravo, I think your DVR just fell asleep, but yeah, it was, uh, Candy with Riley and she's, Riley's like, what are we doing now? I'm like, well, we're packing for a couple. Good to wear it without being a couple. She's like, well, we're packing for a couple. Get away without me in a couple.
Starting point is 00:19:25 She's like, why are you know a couple? Did Mama Joyce finally kill Todd? She's like, no, it's not. Birthday weekend. Yeah, when I came in for me, Riley was saying that she wants to go on a trip. And Candy was like, see, no, Rally, we were just in to buy. Which is like, if that's true, and I'm not really questioning the veracity of it, but
Starting point is 00:19:53 like, since that's true, I mean, like, Rally, what are you talking about? You were just in Dubai. I'm with Candy on this. She's like, but that was a month ago. So Todd's not coming because he's having his birthday. Boys get away weekend on the same weekend or whatever, which that's fishy. I mean, you can't go, you can't go to a dinner with another couple talking about how like you guys get kinky and go open and stuff and then let your man go away without me getting worried. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:19 I like that. That is, yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that he was going out of birthday get away. That's what I must have missed in the glitch. But that's a lot. It was fun. So, Neenie and Greg are nice. This is even better, you guys. Neenie and Greg.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Greg is clean trying to clean up the marble countertop. And Jeff Lewis has told us many times who gets white marble, stupid, stupid people to that. That's what happens because you can't fucking clean it And someone put something fucking down on the fucking counter top then before you know the whole things fucking Stained I'm like okay, I actually did not know that and I'm glad to learn that because there was clearly a stain and In Greg was going nuts trying to clean it and he needs just watching him with like a mixture of confusion and guilt Because she was one clearly like spilled a drop of mustard on there. I was very sad for Neenie.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I was like, wow, this is bad when Neenie is stealing Cynthia's storyline. I'm standing at the kitchen island and watching a stand. And her best friend, the kitchen counter. Yeah, exactly. So he's like, well, this is gonna be a fun couple strip.
Starting point is 00:21:28 We should play some games. And she's like, how about Pillow Talk? And he's like, no, no, not that. And then we get a clip of the Pillow Talk night, which is one of the funniest nights in real housewives of the past. It's so good. Of candylling. I will frag your ass. That was just a legendary night and it made me wistful for past better seasons, if you will. So then, yeah, so instead, Nini's going to play Truth or Dare, which I feel like they just play Truth or Dare.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Like, like an episode. They go, like, I mean, essentially, they did with the peach, right? So, um, so it's using to do that. And then Porsche calls and Porsche has the news that Dennis hurt his leg playing basketball with Eva's fiance, which is adorable to think of Dennis playing basketball. If you ask me, yeah, are you sir? That was basketball.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I don't know. I can't imagine that. Fry basketball. He's like just counting a fry basket. He's just catching me. He's just catching me. And I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:22:34 and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:22:42 and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm not coming and basically the whole couple side of this trip has fallen apart and you know what I'm actually okay with that because I'm not here for the couples. I'm here for the ladies. Yes, a green. So candy and ace are next with their is this nanny new? I don't really know who she was.
Starting point is 00:22:57 She just was I feel like she's been in that guest house all this time and we just haven't gotten a chance to see her for the past few years. She's got like crazy green hair and then I don't know what she's doing. I'm like, it's great. It's colored though. She has like color. I thought it was gray hair in her hair either way. And she has like a punk hair.
Starting point is 00:23:13 And then she's got one of those attitudes. Like you don't know what she's doing. Is she the nanny? Is she the trainer? Is she the chef? I have no idea what she's doing. She's got an iPhone band and like a huge iPhone stuck to her arm. So I'm like, oh, she's the trainer. Nope. I thought she was like a chef because you seem to be preparing like many,
Starting point is 00:23:30 many fruit bowls all at once. Well, I think that's just working for Candy. I don't. I think Candy's one of those people who's like, well, I ain't gonna give you a title. It just makes you do whatever she says. So this lady is probably like, Chef Nanny train train. Chef Nanny train train. Chef Nanny train train. So yeah, Chef Nanny train train has like made about 13,000 giant bowls of fruit salad.
Starting point is 00:23:59 And she's just like they're agreeing to whatever can, can you just like talking and she's just like nodding? And we learn that basically everyone, it're agreeing to whatever can't, can she just like talking and she's just like nodding? And we learn that basically everyone, it's time to go to the, on the girls trip and rather than going up to Nini's house, which is north and then coming back south again, they'll just all meet at Candy's house. So she's setting, I guess she's putting out
Starting point is 00:24:18 like a giant fruit spread for everyone to enjoy on this trip, which is kind of boring. Meaning like, I would prefer like a cheese and cracker or a chocolate spread, right? And like a fruit salad spread. But that's how she makes them eat it in the guest house, which I love. That's how shady of candy.
Starting point is 00:24:31 She only has a guest house to put like literal guests who come to her house in so they don't mess up her real house. Well, that's like Ina Garner. Ina Garner built that whole barn. And she like basically entertains the barn so she doesn't have to mess up her house. We can't be learned from the best. And she like basically entertains the barn so we shouldn't have to mess up her house Ray my Love she really she really and Greg are driving over there and she's like Greg. I'm gonna miss you
Starting point is 00:24:53 board and he's like This sucks we got hit by the trips natures Okay, Neenie has glowing stars in her Bentley. Did you notice that on the ceiling star? Yeah, I did not Her Bentley has glowing stars Like a sauce party bus. Oh God. Oh God. She probably bought it from Reza. Yes, here have this have this car is beautiful Yeah, it's not only part and would say it costs a lot of money. It costs a lot of money to look that cheap Yeah, listen people of Bravo save your say it costs a lot of money. It costs a lot of money to look that cheap. Yeah. Listen, people at Bravo, save your fucking money.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Okay, save your money. We don't need your car staff stars on the ceiling. No, definitely do not. So, yeah, so basically this is turned officially into a woman's trip. And we see Porsche arrives. Dennis drives Porsche, I think. I think he basically drops her off. I'm kind of like, you know what, Dennis,
Starting point is 00:25:47 if you're healthy enough to make the drive to Candies, you're healthy enough to go to Destin, Florida. So I'm not buying this excuse. I don't even think you're injured. I think you're just wearing a boot. Yeah, he's not going because Porsche doesn't want him to be confronted by all the women in Candy. I mean, come on, Porsche knows this game
Starting point is 00:26:02 a little bit better. Yeah, exactly. And good for her. So then Portia goes into the guest house and it's just like the it's just like Nanny Chef, Chef Nanny train train is in there. And and she's literally doing this. She goes, to to to to to to to to to to to to and Ace is just sitting there and like a jumpy chair staring up at her like what the
Starting point is 00:26:25 fuck are you talking about Nanny Chef Train Train? Yeah and like and and candy I think is somewhere changing or whatever so it's just like Porsche Chef Nanny Train Train and then Ace and it's just like it's sort of odd and so Porsche just starts feeding Ace fruit and something felt weird, I was like, this is an odd thing. Just like having Ace hang out with Portia. You didn't even know. Finally, he's got someone on his level that he can talk to, you know. Yeah, exactly. He's like, so what do you think about hot dogs? And she's like, oh my God, I found him. So Ronnie comes in with Chamarray. And it's so sad because Cynthia sees them. And she's
Starting point is 00:27:04 like, um, okay, Ronnie, you can take my luggage to the so sad because Cynthia sees them and she's like, okay, Ronnie you can take my luggage to the fan. Thank you Ronnie. It's very heavy and sports from Marys just standing there and she's like Oh, hi, Shamari No one ever notices her sees Shamari. I hope this is a lot of time to do, okay? She's talked about fucking another another woman like 30 times What does it grow up to do to get a little attention around here? She's literally wearing see-through pants with rhinestones on them and a denim boostier. Okay, and she's still people still can't see her So yeah, so then like I murdered out rules raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:27:49 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking, oh yeah I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen
Starting point is 00:28:27 to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. It shows up and it's Tanya. Tanya is also trying hard to be seen and she's not working out as well for her either. So Portia's big issue is that she's pregnant but she doesn't want to tell everyone. And so she's concerned about the booze situation. And immediately everyone's like, oh my god, are you gonna have a drink? And she's like, no, I'm on an alcohol cleanse.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Like, oh, come on, you can take one drink. You can take one drink. She's like, no, no, no, I've been on for two days. I can't get out with that. And then Dennis went down the hill. And then Dennis went down the hill and then Dennis went around the block. And then the basketball hit him in the head. And then his knees fell on America around. And that's how Dennis hurt his foot. Like what?
Starting point is 00:29:16 Whenever she told whenever it's for sure talks now, she just gets that done. That clown music pulled out of the trunk and just played it over and over again while she talks. Exactly. And then Eva shows up and she's like, oh, what no one knows is that I'm beyond tired. I'm like, actually, everyone can tell because you're like walking in with a, I'm beyond tired face. Like some people are just like, you're showing it on your face all over not saying that you look tired You are bragging about being tired in your face. Yeah, and porcelain like look is Eva Let's have a good time away from our man cuz two of us are basically married now and even it's like oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:29:58 I got to put you down for the guest list Yeah Well, I know even put the same time to tomorrow. Yeah, Well, actually, we've put the same thing to Shemari. Yeah, yeah, yeah, super smart. So even the reason why yeah, Shemari gets like a pity and buy it. So the reason why Eva is beyond tired is that she just got back from an impromptu in air quotes by me in prom to bachelor at party. But she's being a trooper and she's going to go to Desimplard and I also
Starting point is 00:30:24 and her party, by the way, was in Miami. So, you, but she's being a trooper and she's going to go to Desimplard and I also and her party by the way was in Miami. So you know she's dealing with all that guys. Yeah it's a lot. So Greg drops off Nini and he's like this rain is my tears because you leave a Nini. I don't want my bootleaf and shut up Greg. Yeah. So Marlow also appears looking like a fortune teller. Yeah, Marlow is in a weird place today. She's like, I'm training a word and a word, a word, a word. Every Marlow is about to turn like an 11 year old boy
Starting point is 00:30:58 into a 30 year old man. Yeah. Marlow is about to turn Ted Turner into a frog like she's that So the women are all there and Greg is like now ladies. I want you to have an incredible time I want you to bond Takes a lot of lumber to make a bridge, but no piece of lumber is more boring than the other Except for the lumber that's hosting the bridge. That's the most important piece of lumber. So treat that lumber well and give that lumber the best lumber bedroom.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And that's how Dennis broke his foot. No, portion on your turn yet. And I want for all of you to come back and know something new. I just learned that with bridges that are made of lumber, that some lumber is more important than all the lumber. No, no, no. Ooh. Ooh. So she's like, I don't know. I know.
Starting point is 00:31:53 I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I was like, Greg, why are you giving a pep talk? They're going to Justin Florida. How can you not be patronizing when you're giving a speech to people on a gold microphone? It's that gold microphone stand like anyone's gonna sound like a dick coming off that thing. Yeah, I just I was like, please take your lumber bridge metaphor somewhere else. This is a time for girl's trip. So Candy tells Marla, she's like, you know what? I just noticed. I don't have one.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Welcome Matt. In my entire place. And Marla's like, oh, oh, oh. So I learned that no welcome mat is better than another welcome mat if you're making a bridge made of welcome mats. Oh, so then they all get on the van. made of welcome mats. So then they all get on the van and
Starting point is 00:32:51 Shemari is like dancing around and Porsche is like, wow, look at her. She's giving me competition with the stink leg. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So we get on and Nini, she starts passing round this giant jar, because she has this very convoluted
Starting point is 00:33:04 method for how to pick out bedrooms on this trip. So first things first everyone has to pick a number and then they have to hold onto their number for later So that starts the guy starts because every game we play this season on this show is gonna be completely crazy It's like past the peach, but then if you get the peach But you think the question is about somebody else passed the peach to that person, but also the shady to the person who was going to pass you the peach because they were next to the person who passed you the peach, but not that person. So what? Yeah. Boardgamer inside me like screams every time this cast comes up with a new game. I'm like, these rules are not consistent.
Starting point is 00:33:42 So yeah, so they're speaking of which they are now like well, it's been 10 minutes of report already So let's play truth or dare now rather than wait till destined. So So basically they're like gonna do they just start daring each other Doesn't seem like there's a lot of truth happening at first. So first Eva has to suck Shamari's fingers Portiva yeah has to suck Shamari's fingers. Portiva. Portiva. I got tingling. I have a J.J. But even didn't like it because Shamari is just obsessed with hand freshener. So or hand, what is it? Disafficial. Yeah, sanitizer. So it just lights a like chemicals. So then Eva, so now they dare Eva. And it's, they basically are like are like okay call your boo and talk dirty to him on the speaker phone and she's like
Starting point is 00:34:28 fine so she calls up what's his name Michael is that his name? Yeah, so she calls him up and she's like, Hey, what's going on? How's it going? And he's like, I'm good. And you just and Marla just goes, I want to suck your dick. Yeah, Portia's like you got to do. But I just wanted to say that I won't see you for a couple of days, but I'll be home in a couple of days and then and also it would be nice if you cleaned out the crisper. My crisper put some carrots in it. It's like she's so bad at it.
Starting point is 00:35:07 She just starts reading copy from a dehydrator commercial. I just want you to set it and forget it. So, it's like, of course it's like, your fun sets are so bad that you can am dry. That's a pregnancy joke. We're always juicy. I'm telling you that because I'm pregnant And I'm juicy. I'm like a big fat hot dog because I'm pregnant to go. Okay, Portia. We get it Could you not talk about being juicy while you're cooking my un elevated hot dog, ma'am?
Starting point is 00:35:39 Thank you. My very pedestrian Standard hot dog. Thank you. So then candy is dare to call Todd on FaceTime and show him her boobs. But she does she does and he's like, yeah, you got new titties, you got new titties and she doesn't. But she does call Todd and gross everybody out. She's like, hot, hard. I was missing you. And he's like, hey, hey, that's nice to hear. Thank you. Did I forget to do something? Did I forget to put stamps on the letters again? She's like now
Starting point is 00:36:12 Gromalengus You remember the time when you and leaked me from behind and I really like it because I was like right? He caused, I was like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, and everyone's like, whoa, that's enough, okay enough cheeseteer. This prank went too far. Yeah, he's like, hey, have you been drinking?
Starting point is 00:36:34 So then it's Portia's turn, and she's not gonna do anything nasty, because I don't know if you guys have heard that. She's pregnant. So she takes truths, which of course, Mimi, Mimi takes to make her look stupid, which, you know, isn't that hard to do. She's pregnant. So she takes truths which of course meanie Neenie takes to make her look stupid which you know isn't that hard to do But she's like Porsche has done is ever dated anybody on this bus or anybody who somebody knows on this bus or Anybody who somebody knows is possibly seeing somebody in the grocery store by somebody on this bus and
Starting point is 00:37:03 Or a hot dog so or a hattog. So of course it's really messy because it's basically just baiting on a situation between Portion and Candy. And you know Candy admits that she's like, well I know someone who dated him and they're like, when? When? She's like, well about 1.5 months ago. And of course, it's like, yeah, but that's different because we've been in a strict monogamous relationship. She probably said monogamous, yeah. We've been in a monogamous relationship. And then she tells us, Candy was just waiting for the chance to release all this key. And Candy's like, look, I didn't know it was that deep, okay?
Starting point is 00:37:46 But I did tell you that I thought it was weird that he tattoos all those girls on himself. And she's like, well, that girl you were talking about is that the same girl? She's like, yeah, Sherry. She's like, that's a different spelling. And Marla goes, Sherry with the lips? Oh, we believe that Dennis.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Sorry, go ahead. Are we believe that Dennis would actually use a tattoo artist that would be above, you know, like copy editing his work, you know, like it's got a little price. It's got a typo. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. because Porsche is like, we've been in a strict relationship for the past like however many months and Kenny's like, um, see, now, Borsher, you were with someone else at Shopee's birthday.
Starting point is 00:38:50 And there was only me. So this is the funniest turn. Porsche is not only lying about him cheating, she's lying about herself too. And I guess she's pulling a Pedro where she thinks it would be more proper if she's dating this guy longer before she gets knocked up and married or whatever I don't know what she's doing, but it seems like she's just trying to make it look like oh it hasn't been only one week It's been six months because that you know, I don't know if that's like more acceptable So it's her too because candy's like well you are cheating too then because I just saw you and she's like Yeah, but the reason I say six months is because
Starting point is 00:39:25 when someone asks you about your man, you know, say we've been together six months, except for those three months that we were having an open relationship. And the editors are like three minutes ago, you know, less than three minutes ago, and they cut to Porsche from less than three minutes ago, saying, we've been a strict monogamous relationship. Just so shady. And then we're like, I love when the editors are like, whatever, nothing's happening,
Starting point is 00:39:49 so we're gonna entertain ourselves right now. Yeah, basically, porches like, look, I'm lying, I lied about it because that's what I want on TV. I'm sticking to it, and if you don't like it, then fuck off. Yeah. Which is good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:01 So now that you've- She's learned, porch, I mean, look, somebody could have been bloodied by this point We forget what what Porsche is really like, you know and especially with pregnancy hormones going on I mean I'm proud I'm proud. I'm proud of you Porsche. Yeah, yeah So now they arrive at Destin Florida. I'm you know every time I hear Destin Florida I laugh I know I've talked about this before in the past over the last like six and a half seven years You've been doing this podcast.
Starting point is 00:40:26 But I once saw an episode of House Hunters where there was this couple that lived in Hawaii, beautiful, beautiful Hawaii, and they're like retirees. And their best friends like Fran and Pete decided to move to Destin, Florida. And they're like, well, we can't be without Fran and Pete. So they gave up their house in Hawaii to look for houses in Destin, Florida. And I was like, you are leaving? You're leaving Hawaii to move to the Panhandle. And then, and this woman, every single place they looked at,
Starting point is 00:40:54 she was just such a bitch about everything. She was like, look what I see. Popcorn ceilings. I'm like, you know what, you, you know what, give up that house. Someone else deserves it in Hawaii. Yeah. So that's why I think about that part of that lady. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I keep thinking of dust, the test and auto mall from the commercials here in LA. The test and auto mall. So anyway, so these, the ladies arrive in Destin, and they come into their house, which has no popcorn ceilings. And they're checking out all the rooms, like it's sort of like, you know, before Nini's game goes to next level. And so, Marla looks at a room, she goes, this room is very boring, looks like Eva.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Which I thought was funny, but no one seemed to notice it. And so then they all gather back around. Well, yeah, that did. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm like, I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:42:16 I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I was like, I'm trying to podcast your Siri. Even series trying to figure it out. Series. Lots of just like this is his boring as
Starting point is 00:42:30 Eva get it. So you just read a pile on like Siri Marlore said that twice. So mean what was that? I didn't catch it. Siri. No, no, we're, we're talking about the rooms on Atlanta. I'll look up rooms in Atlanta. No, Siri could just butt out already. I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. It's gene. It turns out it's gene not Siri all this time. I will get the butt out. This And that's how Dennis hurt his foot. Jean just pops up again. Is there anything else I can get you before you finish your podcast? No, you're good.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Okay, great. Okay. So everybody's, you know, looking around and then you need gather some all back together. And she goes, okay, here's how it's going to go. The number she pulled in the order you picked from the jar, but there's more to it from that. Because the name that you pick, the number that you got is the order on which you'll pick names. And then those names, you're going to be telling those people where to sleep. But the trick is that when they get into their bedroom, they have another jar
Starting point is 00:43:42 in there. And they all pick numbers. And two people have the same number. They get to cancel out another person's number unless they match number with someone else, in which case they swap rooms and then someone sends Cynthia to the bunk bed. Yeah, pretty much. It's like, let's just put Cynthia in the bunk bed and get this over with, can we? We all want to do. We need that. Why did we need a preliminary round of drawing numbers?
Starting point is 00:44:02 Like, it's like it's random. Like if you're, here's the thing. Like, I know, that's a classic band. Here's the thing. But if you're drawing random numbers in order to pick an order in which to draw random names, why do you need random numbers to pick something else that's random?
Starting point is 00:44:21 Like, couldn't you just pick the names out randomly? Like, it would be different if the names were all in line or something and you picked a name then. But it doesn't make sense to pick random numbers and then pick random names. Because Needy really has nothing to do. I mean, look, all she's done is get a bugger on a counter. That's all she's done today.
Starting point is 00:44:39 So she's going to try and start a fight with people and make them choose each other's rooms. Yeah. So basically, yeah, this is when Marla tries her joke again and even gets all mad. So everybody goes to unpack and then they all go to this big huge table. And I don't know why they dragged me up. But they're serving themselves food that their private chef made. And he's like, Hey girls enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Starting point is 00:45:03 She starts doing her test and auto mall voice, which she does for the rest of the episode. Hey, enjoy, enjoy. Sunday Sunday Sunday. You want some chicken? My love. You want some chicken? My love. Sunday Sunday Sunday. So as they're all saying, they're having dinner, Cynthia decides to stir the pot a little
Starting point is 00:45:28 bit and she's like, ah, so Eva Child, how's your bachelor at party that you invited none of us to? Tell me about that. I'm the model here. I'm the model here. Yeah, she's like, I was scrolling on Insta and I saw the Shady Bachelor party, and didn't invite us. I was confused at first. I was like, I can't believe that even made it on to kitchen islands.
Starting point is 00:45:50 We love kitchen islands Insta. Then I realized I was actually looking at Eva's Instagram. I got confused when Mimi's kitchen island started direct messaging my kitchen island. It's all this back and forth I got stuck on Eva's kitchen island. It's all this back and forth I got stuck on. He was kitchen island. I was confused when I thought I was looking at at eye heart countertops. Turns out it was Eva's Instagram feed instead. So Eva's like, oh yeah, yeah, that was just a surprise girl's trip and poor she's like, if it's a surprise in how come I was invited a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Which is pretty funny. Yeah. So like now it's like, okay, well, what sort of surprise is this? So Eva has this response that makes in a sense. She's like, well, I mean, I knew there's going to be a bass rep party. But like, I didn't know how many people were going to come. So it was a surprise. I was like, whoa, like, it was just supposed to be a small thing. But then there were more, I didn't know that we're going to be 12 people. I just, like, totally caught. And she does that thing where she's caught, but she'll just keep chewing. Yeah. It negates any guilt. She's just going to chew right across it. She's like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:46:58 I'll just speak because things very blase and people will understand. So the neat, neat, neat, I don't think, I don't think even knows what a surprise is. I think gender stands that complex. She's like surprises. Not we're going on a trip on this day. Yes. So porous. Of course, like, why wasn't you invited?
Starting point is 00:47:19 So then like, Eva's like, oh, like, I didn't, well, she was, I don't know, is that weird? Do you think this is weird? Is weird that you weren't invited? Which is like a weird deflection in my mind. Yeah, because she's like, right, your own battles basically. If you're going to have a problem with this, I don't want to fight all your, you know. Yeah. So Marlo decides to clarify in case no one understood what the potential issue is It just seemed weird that Porsche was invited and Neenie was not like thanks for the clarification
Starting point is 00:47:49 Yeah, Cynthia's like well the way you speak about it. It's actually the sister like you're super close Like you talk over time. It's almost like you're about to have sex on FaceTime with her with a cellulophone from Verizon Is that of Znotra? I mean, you guys are so close, Chad. That's almost like you could be one little acronym together. Like, Niva or evil. Evie, that's good chill. Either way, that's good chill.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Which is so, I know that you and Nini talk all the time. And Nini is like, we do not talk all the time. And so now we get that everybody's just sick of Eva going grab pretending she's best friends with Neenie. Well, the thing is this, first of all, A, this is hilarious because Cynthia clearly hates Eva. She hates that there's a younger model on the show. So she's happy to make her look bad.
Starting point is 00:48:40 A second of all, Eva also had this cockamame thing, which is like, well, you know, I was just, I was just, I was just been doing a million different things and I know Neenie was so busy, so I don't know if she wouldn't want to come, etc. Which is like the most annoying thing someone could say, because it's like, let me be the one to say no. Don't say no for me, you know. So, so now she starts to, Eva starts to walk back this like, Neenie's my big sister, because we see a whole montage, I personally like everyone, you know, like, Neenie's my big sister because we see a whole montage of her. I'm like everyone
Starting point is 00:49:07 You know like Neenie's basically like a big sister to me. She's like a big sister. She's a big sister So now she's like well, I mean like I mean, I have so much love and respect for Neenie And I think of her as a big sister even though we don't day. And like, just because we don't talk every day and I barely would want to even have her at my wedding. I'm just doing it because the producer wants. It doesn't mean I don't think of her as a big sister. I just call her big sister. And she also tries to get sympathy because she doesn't have sisters.
Starting point is 00:49:38 It's like what? She's like, I don't love sisters biologically. I don't know what I'm about to cry. It's like, that's not a victim thing, okay? You don't get to cry because you don't have sisters. Shut up for that. And then she goes, and then she goes, you know what, I call Nene Cis,
Starting point is 00:49:52 just like I call Maxine Walters anti-Maxine. I'm like, Maxine Walters. Yeah, you got the wrong auntie there. Maxine Walters. Did she say Maxine Walters? She said Max, that was not me saying that. I thought that was you. No, that was that was verbatim.
Starting point is 00:50:14 And I was I wasn't sure if she was saying Walters or going Walters. So I looked it up and the closed caption said Walters. She said Maxine Walters. Who? I mean, maybe there is Maxine Walters. Maybe there is a Maxine Walters who she considers an aunt. That's funny. Well look she can't say what she really wanted to say which is look I asked me to give a speech at my wedding because that's the only way to really guarantee that they're going to shoot it which means I get 150 guests for free, okay? Yeah. And B, I did not want the camera cruise on my
Starting point is 00:50:46 bachelor rep party because I just want to be with my real friends. So that's why he wasn't invited. Yeah. So then, let's see. So then we switch subjects because they're bored with this, you know, obviously she got caught, you know, Needy doesn't really care at that much anyway. So it's like, is there anything else that needs to be clear on this big ass table? Then tomorrow it's like no
Starting point is 00:51:10 I was like oh, Samari's here Hey, who invited the toll booth worker. Oh wait, that's Samari hey So she's like well, I had pillow talk with my husband and he's like, I love pillow talk. Yeah. Anybody want to play that game? Like no, Neemi, no. So Shamari, Shamari, she's like, I'm having some feelings about Portia because you know, at that boobs and bourbon party, Portia walked in with her friend, Darius, and everyone was like, who? She gets what it is.
Starting point is 00:51:49 I say. She didn't even come over and hug us and purchase. No, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't introduce you to him. So you don't know his name. So that's why you don't know. She goes, but you didn't come say hi. And she's like, yeah, because I wasn't feeling you that day because I heard that you said some things about me and then you said some things about red in a party and then Dennis went up
Starting point is 00:52:12 The hill to find out if that was true then he rolled down the hill then he hit a tree and that's how Dennis hurt his leg and I'm not feeling I love I Love the idea that like Porsche is mad at Chamari for Chamari being mad at what Porsche said originally about her. You know, it's like, if you shade someone and they get upset, they take it the wrong way, you don't really have a right to be mad at them. You have to be like, oh, I'm sorry, I overdid it. Like, you can't be mad at someone for being mad. Like, they react to you and then you're mad at them. No, it doesn't work that way. Well, they showed the clips because that that game was so
Starting point is 00:52:47 Contrived yeah, and convoluted. It came cause a lot of drama. Yeah, so they showed the clip and really portioned it only say like All right, let's fight bitch you are best because you were Brando, my look. Oh, bitch. Oh my look because you were both wearing a red shirt and white pants So let's play bitch. on my look. So then Shemari's like, yeah, but you said I need a makeover. She was, I didn't say that word and can't he's like, yeah, so then it's like now all of a sudden everyone starts focusing on Eva because Eva is the one who said that that Shemari needs to make over. And everyone's saying how Shemari seems to have memory loss when it comes to Eva's shade. And then everyone's saying how Eva basically
Starting point is 00:53:32 has like secret shade where she shades someone and then she's like, Oh, did I say that? I don't I guess at that. Which she's doing right now. And Shem, um, it might have taken me time to know even's non-shade throwing throw and shave showing, shave throw. But at I know she was saying, I need to make over. I would have shoved that peach right up in her face with her hippie rags in her poncho, okay? So she's like, at the end of the day, I know I'm Fab and sexy, so whatever. And Marlowe's like, look, I do know you're beautiful and you can't be ugly, nowhere, but the fashion, you could use some help, but that could help you.
Starting point is 00:54:14 She's like, sorry, Marlowe, but I don't take fashion advice from someone who looks like a Pirates or a Caribbean. Yeah. I think she pluralized Caribbean. Stingassian. I think she said pirates or Caribbean. Which I think I was fine. I was like Caribbean.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Either way, she pluralized Caribbean. Caribbean. Caribbean. I like this one the best. Do you think that that helps like people on these shows? Because this confessional wig is like a dark long wig. And I think it looks so pretty. It made me like, Chamari Moore.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Is that weird? Yeah, I like that one more too. It's like some wig shadow. So then they get up from the table and then Portion and Chamari hug. Like, yeah, we're both mt.k. I was like, you guys resolved something. How did I even, I didn't even realize
Starting point is 00:54:58 there was any resolution to this. No. Yeah, Portion's like, okay, I'll be my student, I'll be in. And now for a little married to medicine. Okay, I am going to go on the record right here and say that this was the worst episode of marriage medicine that has ever aired. Well, I don't know what they were doing. Why are you adding an extra episode if you don't need an extra episode of stupid?
Starting point is 00:55:21 Like, it was like a clip show. First of all, the previously the season went on for like 15 minutes. And then like, nothing happened. Like, nothing, the only thing that happened is that we saw, you know, Aiden had men and giants, which is super scary. And then he survived, which is actually amazing. And that was it. And then like the rest of the show was like a clip show. It was like, hey, remember that time in season one when Quad got into a fight with Carey?
Starting point is 00:55:49 And then it's like, we saw like five clips of that. And hey, remember that time that Heavenly cried and we saw it for sure. Like something of like Heavenly Crying or like everything was like, everything led to like so many flashbacks. Like what is going on? This is just like sloppy. This was just like terrible, terrible television. Yeah, it seems like they had an episode
Starting point is 00:56:09 order to get in, so they just put a lot of crap together. And yeah, this shows really been on such a role. I was surprised. I thought it was going to be a big blow out of a finale. But no, I mean, they do look like they're going to be making it up for the reunion. I mean, that looks crazy Yeah, but then they says a three-part reunion. I'm like
Starting point is 00:56:30 I'm like I've enjoyed the season quite a bit But there was not three reunion episodes worth of content to discuss like if you're gonna put two for Dallas I mean marriage and medicine is not three episodes worth yeah, especially when they've been giving it the shaft I mean they've been moving it around night to night and on the worst nights too. So if you're going to do that too, so then edit it and make it shorter and more fun, not longer and more useless that people are not going to want to watch. I think they're really fucking just so over. Yeah, I like, I like honestly, I could not believe what I was watching. I was like, this has been a really strong season and now I'm just watching this finale and they just didn't have anything to do. You know, we just sort of see these weird chopped up scenes and they were chopped up because
Starting point is 00:57:11 there's all flashbacks. Like nothing was happening. Like, Contessa, she's like, I'm finally getting the dad up always wanted. And we just see her dad with, we see like a million flashbacks to her dad. And then we see like the dad at home. And like, that that's Contessa Contessa is wrapped up it's like what yeah and then we see Jackie and Curtis she's like here's a plot of land it's not the city it's not the country but it can be whatever we want because the problem so we had they're in our old house now we need a new house
Starting point is 00:57:43 unlike the problem you have is the man standing next to you and he's still gonna be that same man in whatever house you want, okay? And I'm not gonna get you by literally stealing on a plot of land. In your literally stealing toy store line from this very season and not even like the whole season just like the past few episodes.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Like what is, what's going on? Yeah, and then she's like, hello world world Then we see Jackie do like an Instagram live. She's like here's a video about new beginnings like oh So and you know that everybody on Instagram live. It's like Yeah, exactly so then we have Cecil and Simone that there's like a little bit of a of a note worthy scene there because they have their Skype therapy with Dr. Ken and they're telling Dr. Ken about the Tammy fight from last week and We're just like going back into Tammy land and we learned that basically Cecil last year spent his birthday with Tammy and his birthday with Tammy and some, some moments having a really tough week and was like, if you walk out to have dinner with, birthday dinner with Tammy, then don't walk back.
Starting point is 00:58:52 And I'm like, okay, this is cool, but I feel like we covered this pretty clearly last season. Like why is this popping up? Yeah, I've already seen this episode. That's obviously just some made up fight for them to go through. So over that one. So then we get a quad quad and wait let me see no no oh yeah heavenly and contest that go over to support quad and her sister circle sister circle live something the so quad is they're talking to Carrie Hilson and quad is like I must
Starting point is 00:59:20 know what is going on with you musically It's actually a question that I would like to know from Carrie Hilton like where have you gone? Nothing you really nothing you really arrived too much, but like It's such a funny way to phrase a question What's going on with you musically and uh she's like I didn't know about Carrie Hilton That's when love comes down She's like, you know what I'm not writing always writing. It's like, oh, just like I wrote a letter that I left in the mail box for the man that took my heart out of my chest and crushed it on the floor.
Starting point is 01:00:03 I refuse to be a pile of ashes. It's not going to happen. I'm like, okay, no one's burning you alive. Why the laks? Was sister circle always four women? I thought it was three. Yeah. Oh, no, I, well, yeah, I know that one. Why do they hate one sister triangle? Well, as four as a square, okay? So I need five, five or nothing, because she's only seen with two women.
Starting point is 01:00:30 So I guess they're just like me. She's just like me. The other woman. No, remember they all went on to lunch to begin the season. It was four of them. And then, Heavenly is declared that she likes Contessa, by the way.
Starting point is 01:00:41 She's like, I don't give a damn, but anyone says about Contessa? I like the bitch. I do. So then Mariah is having a party from season one that she had that was called Doctors and what's it called? Adios. Doctors on the dock. Oh yeah. Doctor's bad. I mean, you know, this whole like, this whole reboot madness thing is bad
Starting point is 01:01:05 It's bad one even Mariah's rebooting her own party from five years ago like it's one thing to reboot Spider-Man 12 times But when Mariah's rebooting her C-series premiere party by the way seriously spider-man another spider-man I want to see it's supposed to be so good actually it got great Ray Spider-man so I need to see there's been five. This is a cartoon. It's Into the Spider-Verse.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Listen, you know me. I hate Superhero shit, but I'm going to see Into the Spider-Verse. It's by the like a movie, guys. Yeah. Um, so I don't know. I just saw that it was playing because I was looking to see when those queen movies were playing.
Starting point is 01:01:41 There's so many queen movies. There's a favorite. Then there's the queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody, then there's the Mary Queen of Scots. I'll sit the favorite with you. I feel like that's a movie that we should watch together. Yeah, I want to see that one.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Let's watch the favorite together. Let's watch the favorite in the Spiderverse. Into the Queeniverse. This is like, there's so many Spottemen. I can't talk to this many spot-a-men. So the best part of this party was that we got to see clips of Carrie who I still miss, and that we got to see how they all were on the first season. I mean, how hilarious. When Carrie and Quad were fighting, because Carrie had given Quad shade,
Starting point is 01:02:23 and so she's like, well, we're all at the clinic and quad's like, you want the anorexics clinic? I had totally forgot about that fighter. It was so wonderful to see it again. Oh, I hitchh struggled to believe me in my entire life. It's the one who saved me. It's so ridiculous. But then nothing happened at this one.
Starting point is 01:02:44 It's like, Heavenly and Mariah made up. Okay. I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you what happened. Cecil and Simon showed up. And Cecil was wearing a dumb fisherman's hat. I forget what you called us at, like a bucket hat or something.
Starting point is 01:02:59 I was like, why are you wearing this hat? This hat from like in 2002. What is going on here? And then not to be outdone, Eden walks out with a his stupid hat. I'm like, oh, yeah, I cannot not to be outdone. Curtis walks around with a dollar on his shirt or some shirt. Yeah. After he can't even walk.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Yeah, he can't even walk anymore. I don't know what's going on with Curtis. If he heard his leg, if he's the 20 pounds that he gained is just like making him unable to walk but I hope he's I mean I don't I don't know I guess I hope he's okay he's kind of a dick he fully knocked over like a candle and how do you knock over a candle it's like because they're all on the floor didn't you notice that she put all those candles on the floor she put like 30,000 candles on the ground like that's the ground for aria but also like if you see a bunch of candles like watch where you're stepping
Starting point is 01:03:47 I guess for these curtains he could barely walk. I don't know what was wrong with him Well then there was like a moment where um We're contested quad and toy. We're all sort of standing around And contest that was being nice. So she's like, oh you guys look good. You guys look good. And Quas, like, that's what I call fake face. And they're she's basically portending some sort of doom. Like, I don't know how much longer this is gonna last. Because you never know what's gonna happen. She said something like the honestly I was dozing off. And so she like guides Contessa away. And then all of a sudden, like the camera lingers on toya for a second and the music goes DUN DUN! And it goes to commercial. I was like, what was that all about?
Starting point is 01:04:27 And then nothing happened. Nothing happened. Yeah. Um, I mean really nothing, I hate to say it because it's so negative and I really like coming on here and making fun of these shows for fun. Like I find it to be really fun, but literally nothing happened. Literally. Okay, it's the end.
Starting point is 01:04:44 Yeah, it was. I mean, there was a moment, I mean, Mariah and Heavenly had like a warm moment where they're like, we're no friends. And, you know, Quad just like gave death glares. Like, I never trust a Mariah, a truce because they always come in.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Aren't you in there? You know? Yeah. And then there was like, I mean, there were, for me, some of the highlights in this were Lucy basically hitting on Daddy. She was like, hey, Daddy, how's it going? She's like, yeah, she's so handsome, baby. I've always liked you. And she's like, he's like,
Starting point is 01:05:20 I like to do, do you get to that's fun. Ooh, I was a placebo-saving carous. And then there was, I also liked when they're talking about Aiden getting sick and Eugene was like, well, you know, we're ER doctors and there's just like diseases all the time, contagious disease, like you may go to like, check someone's broken pelvis, they pee on you and they could have chlamydia.
Starting point is 01:05:41 And I toy a city next to him in the interview and she just has this look on her face like You know, I don't like Climidia And that brings us to the inner very de medicine, but don't worry. There's still a month of reunions to get to We'll still be with these girls in 2019 Everybody thank you so much for being here good get our live show tickets. That's Ron sale now 2019. Everybody thank you so much for being here. Good get our live show ticket since we're on sale now. You can also get all of our limited shirts for this year. Just go over to watch it crapens.com for calendar ticket links, shirt links, all that good stuff. And in the meantime, we'll see you later. Yeah, bye everyone. you Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad-free on Amazon Music, download
Starting point is 01:07:00 the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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