Watch What Crappens - RHOA & Married2Med: Welcome to ATL, Bitch!

Episode Date: November 6, 2018

The Real Housewives of Atlanta return for a new season and get ready to head to Miami, and the cast of Married to Medicine fights in Antigua. Enjoy! This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the new Vanderpump Rules Season 7 Trailer. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

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I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Shivone she don't take no baloney. Hillary Parker the Parker Soros. Rifty Wowity Dowity. Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go Hylow. Hot dang it's Jessica dang. Megan Burg. He can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Ayan, okay. Suzy, going to the Tobin. Anna, God, I love that banana. Anderson.

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And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yio Browse, I'm Ronnie Caram. I'm also on the Roseprix Bachelor Rost, which is coming back in January, the first to be exact, and here I am with my co-host, Friend, and Gorgeous Little Scoundrel, Mr. Ben Mantelker, hello Ben. Hi, what's going on?

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Also, we are going to Seattle this week We're going to be doing our real housewives of Dallas recap in Seattle's can be amazing, okay? Then next month we are going to be in Nashville and You can still get tickets for that over watch at crappens.com. It's also where you can get links to our Christmas and Honecatee shirts so where you can get links to our Christmas and Hanukete shirts, both our Ramona Syncrap based, okay? Ho ho ho, okay? And happy Ramonika, go get those over at crappensmerch.com or on our website, watch at crappens.com.

Also, there are very special Ramona leggings. It's Ramona Santa Claus. You'll find those under the Ho ho ho design over on our website. Yeah, yeah. And if you're coming to our show in Seattle or Nashville, You'll find those under the Ho Ho Ho design over on our website. Yeah. Yeah, and if you're coming to our show in Seattle or Nashville, like where your crap and scarb and you know, it'll be cool. Yeah, so that's all that stuff out of the way. And at today is a very special day because it is the return of real housewives of Atlanta.

Yeah. But on top of that, there was some craziness. Yeah. On top of that, there was some craziness with Yeah on top of that. There are all craziness with what? Marriage of medicine. Is that what you were gonna say that I step on you? No, I don't care Step on me. Oh, you want okay? Yeah, Mary to medicine was insane And so bravo's kind of fucking over Mary to medicine. They moved it. This is the last week. It's gonna be on Sunday Yeah, which you know, I just feel like that's not very nice. They're moving it to Saturday. Like, who does that?

Yeah. I know. It's going to be all alone by itself on Saturdays. That's sort of weird, right? Yeah, I don't like that. I think Mary D'Amedicin has worked very hard. It really has. And it's been a great season. I think this is the best season since season one. And the show just gets kicked around. This happened last season.

Last season it was sent to Friday night. I mean, maybe marriage of medicine is just the ambassador for different nights on Bravo because now Bravo has a Friday night thing going on. They've got home by Bravo. I actually did not watch any of the new shows that premiered this past Friday, like, Sweet Home and buying it blind,

but that's okay. I did watch Get A Room with Carson and Tom, which continues to be hilarious and like just so, so good. So maybe that's the plan with the marriage medicine. They're gonna start up something new on Saturdays. I don't know, I guess time will tell, okay? Maybe that's where Dirty John will be. No, they won't know, I guess time will tell, okay? Maybe that's where dirty John will be.

No, they won't put dirty John on the Saturday, will they? Yeah, never. No, no, they've got like real kids. Yeah, why would you do that? I get building a night, but Saturday, and Mary D'Medicine's doing well in the ratings too, so I don't even know, okay? I don't even know how to explain it,

but we're gonna kind of have to fuck it over too, because you know, Atlanta started, so we're gonna still cover Mary D'Medicin, but they're going to be a little shorter. And this week it was okay because really the whole thing about Mary-Demettacin is that ending girl. Mary-Demettacin is really good at just having a good fight at the end. Yeah, but first we're going to talk Atlanta and then we'll get to Mary-Demettacin. Atlanta is back, we have a new cast, and of course, leave it to Kenya Moore to upstage her previous show by getting birth to her baby Saturday, trying to steal headlines away from Atlanta's premiere.

Yeah, but doesn't it really just help in the end? Yeah, probably. And apparently the baby's real. I mean, that's a real baby. That's huge news. I thought it was going to be like a Beyonce baby where, you know, it's just pretend. Well, no, she, she had some sort of complication is with her pregnancy at a pre-clampsia or something like that, her feet were swollen. So I think they had to induce, I don't know. I mean, like, leave it to me. It's not really really article about it,

because guess what? I also don't really care that much so Point is this is Kenya had a baby and then she had pre-dis you know look at her Instagram picture of her swollen foot, you know Yeah, but it's like congratulations to her and her little yeah months again So we have no Kenya on the show anymore Instead we have Eva and then we will be getting um the bellbiv devote lady that we have Eva and then we will be getting the Belby of Devote Lady. So this season opens up, we get some real jazzy opening music,

just sort of like to get us in the mood, Atlanta is back and we see Neen making tea sandwiches, like little finger sandwiches for tea time or something. There's a big end of time. I love watching Neen Mimi pretend she's fancy. We saw this when we covered some season one, a season one episode of the live show this summer where Mimi is in the country club

and she's acting like she's really fancy but she's ordering a baked potato or something. And there's very Mimi, memories of that scene here because she's like, oh, you can tell the difference between the chicken salad and the tuna salad. I was like, like, oh, you can tell the difference between the chicken salad and the tuna salad. I was like, yes, Neenie, you're so fancy. I know. You can see that, like, Lauren Manzo somewhere was like, what about the egg salad?

Then we see Cynthia once again in her kitchen, face timing with the dude at a basketball game. At this point, we don't know who he is, just a guy who's out of basketball game. Yeah, I wrote Cynthia has worked a lot on her personality. And by that, I mean her kitchen. Yeah, it's like, look, I have a whole, a whole jar full of peppermints. And I was like, wow, it's a new Cynthia. Yeah, she's, she's like, these days, I've just been feeling blessed. Well, I mean, technically it's more my kitchen island

because I put a sond on it that says bless this home, but... Oh, I'm gonna go through this season clean. And by clean, I mean my counters. I feel fabulous. I mean, I'm, I bought some fabulous, and I've been springed down the counter. I'm so like, no, well, do not give me any Windex, ma'am. Unlady.

Listen, I am working on my acting. I've become a real method actress. Well, that, I mean, I've purchased some method cleaner. Yes. It's been a rough year, but you know, we're all up and up, girl. Listen, listen, it's been a tough year but what's important is that I've been focusing on all of me, ALL, that's all.

I'm pushing maybe getting married, but I'm making a pledge to you, sir. A lemon pledge. There's just been a tide of emotion rolling over me. So next we see Candy over at her rehearsal for Escape and Tyne, he's like, what's up with these mics, there are ants. Which I just thought it was funny. I'm glad that Tiny's going to be a character now, the real housewives of Atlanta. I've needed that. Yeah, exactly. It's nice to have a little crossover from Tyne and Tyne over in the world of Bravo. from TI and Tiny over in the world of Bravo. And then we see Eva, who's with her baby?

So there's that. And then finally, we sort of land on Portia and her new boyfriend, Dennis, and they're driving. And Portia is so rude. Can you leave the show? And Portia basically takes over her hairstyle. OK. So now she's taking over her hairstyle. And she also kind of takes over all her stories, you know?

It's like after like, oh yeah, like going to a bar or a restaurant and marrying the owner immediately. Yeah, pretty much and then trying not to show them to everyone and then later on she's gonna get pregnant. She's basically taking all of Kenya's stories, which is kind of a pretty impressive move. I mean, that's how you get ahead in life, right? You co-opt and then you make it your own.

I guess, but Portia's way more fun. Kenya's stressing out, because she was just a mean, a mean awful person most of the time. But at Portia's fun, I don't, like I know Portia, people still haven't forgiven Portia. I forgave Portia pretty quickly.

Like, I think he will forgive. If you make me laugh, like I forgive you, okay. If we can forgive Marlo for cutting some lady's face, you know, and then like all the traps are doing it in the suit, I say we should forgive Porsche too, okay. Oh, I think we've all forgiven Porsche. I think everyone loves Porsche. You know, she's just Porsche. She can't help but being Porsche.

I mean, talk about forgiveness. porcise for given silo, she's even marrying the guy. Yeah, so Porsche is driving along with this guy and she's like, I said at the beginning of the year that I'm gonna marry the man, this could be the year that I'm gonna marry a man. And this year I'm gonna get married to a guy.

Whatever, I was like, you say that every year, like every single year, you know, you say it at the beginning of every year, eventually you're gonna be right. I secreted this. The power of the tongue is real, girl. Oh, that it is.

Yeah. The power of the tongue has always been the way to a wedding ring. Was I the only person who went to Catholic school? So Dennis, we learn about you were actually on this podcast, yes you were. So Dennis, we're gonna learn more about Dennis now, which is that he owns several lounges and hook a, he owns a hook a lounge and a nightclub, and he's the owner of the original hot dog factory,

which is quite the is quite the resume. It's, I'm getting some like Peter, Peter Thomas vibes off of him already. I kind of am too, except that Peter Thomas didn't really own anything. He had like bar one and then he had like the Cynthia coffee shop by Wormart and Luther King got shot, remember? Yes, of course. Beep, beep, beep course. Bebe is brew. Um, yeah, this is like a guy with real jobs. I think I didn't look anything up, but I know that they're real because

poor should won't stop making hot hot dog jokes. She's like, he's the positive Atlanta heels close and the rich no hot dog factory. He bringing hot dog coins. America loves hot dogs. These hot dogs are going to put a ring on my finger Let's just say I like him doggy style. Let's show him what these wings do You know, I'm gonna wrap my bun around you. Winnie and be a mama. It's like okay, for sure. Okay. I Relish my time with him. I

Can't wait to catch up for last time. I don't know where he's from, but he's a Hebrew national. I'll tell you that. I have to mustered up all the strength to be with him in the morning sometimes. You know, sometimes he likes white buns, but I just put up with it. Curryversed! He's cheating with funds when he tells joke I tell him he's on a corn dog on a stick oh so stupid okay so Mimi I didn't write down all the taglines because I figure I'll hire all season to notice all these taglines

But meanies is hilarious. She's like I'm the glue for my wig and my family Yeah, that was like these taglines were really were really something else this year That one was a really notable one the glue for my wig and my family That's like almost as bad as charay last year who was like, call me a bad waiter because I'm always spilling the tea. I just love it. Mimi keeps her wigs on by sheer force of her attitude. You know, like you will stay on with. Last time I checked her wig came undone though. So I don't know how good her glue is. So

Cynthia then she fully steals from Ramona Singer. She's like, I aged like a fine wine, and now I'm ready to chill. I'm like, no, no, no, you cannot touch the fine wine. That is a Ramona singer, okay? Like a fine wine. I only get better in time, and I'm ready to chill with Avery, who's my toilet.

I'm kind of like my best friend, I'm gonna chill and just hang out with you, girl, twine. It's lime with with that Cynthia's? Cynthia said that yeah I'm like a fine wine. Now I'm ready to chill. I don't think that's how it works. Yeah I. This is something that's how wine works in general.

I don't think you age it and then you chill it. I mean I don't know how white's work. White wines work but red wines definitely know Yeah, you know age white wines. Do you I thought that was a lot for red wines. I never see I'm a fan You chill that I don't know you guys. I'm ignorant. Okay. I'm not saying I'm not ignorant I'm just saying I don't think that's how wine works and it's just it just confuses me with Cynthia You know, it's like what is this 53 is this is a

Sierra 53 or 52? Oh my god. Yeah, exactly. And then you have then we have candy. She's like, no, I can't love the sings and my jerks. Which I feel like that's a solid one. That's like a good you know, good one. I feel like candy should just read her LinkedIn at this point because every season is like look a candy's new job I'm excited Excuse me everyone I sneezed Bless you very intense. There's a lot of candy candy brought out out brought it out on me Um, Eva goes I live a model life. Now I'm ready to be a top wife, which, you know,

I get it, America's next top model. That's not so canceled. I don't know, I was like, I don't know. I was canceled. And Porosha is finally, I was like, I took a lot of left hands, and now things are just right. Like you're still driving in circles.

Finally someone on your block that you could marry because that's the only way that's the only place you ever went. She's just driving. I'm just imagining her and like like a big wheel just going around the round and circles and then called the sack. I'm late to work. I just keep making love turns. You know what, before we jump, go any further in this episode before we dive into it, we want to do a little cross-promotion with another podcast. I don't know if you guys have heard of who weekly, but they are really awesome podcasts that's out there.

And they basically are a podcast about everything you need to know about celebrity is that you don't know. Celebrity Goss. Yeah. Is it where? Yeah. Can you name it? Can you name a Rita Orasong?

Can you tell the difference between Bryce Dallas Howard and Ila Fisher? The job description of Justin Bieber's new wife? Because you answered no to all those questions. You should check out who weekly. It's a podcast hosted by Lindsay Weber and Bobby Finger. And it's all about the least famous and most entertaining category of celebrities, the who's? Every episode goes deep into the biggest who liberty stories of the moment. And they even have a weekly call in episode and you call six one nine who them where they enter the most burning listener questions like the fact is just in beaver's wife do i want to know

that you know i don't have a wife me neither i know it the eternal like really christianian staff i think he always was but either way way, who weekly airs twice weekly with new episodes on Tuesdays and Fridays, so tomorrow go check them out and you can check it out wherever you can get your podcasts. So everyone, go check out who weekly because they are also, this is like a little crossing. They're going to read, they're going to endorse watch or crap on their podcasts. So we're trying to support each other because this podcast community, we all help each other.

We all rise up together and it's, you know, like we are so happy to take on any listeners from them and they will be happy to take on their listeners from us. So big hugs, group hugs in the podcast world. And vice versa. Yeah, everybody hugs. Yeah. Okay. So let's see.

Now we start with Porsche and she's back at the jeweler again. Yeah, the same old jeweler and Lana's like good see you She's like a Russian red head, you know She give them goodies for you. This man is from the football right? No, this was a wini guy. Oh good coming Yeah, yeah, she gives Lana gives me like red shoe diaries, soft core porn, you know, like, you know, in those soft core porn movies, they always have, they always have someone be like, I am a business lady

and they sort of cram her into a, into a ill-fitting business suit that doesn't quite look right. Like it's like Shannon Tweed trying to like convince us that she's the CEO of a fashion label and you're like, okay, it'll only be like a few minutes before we take it a lot. You know, you know, that's what Lama is. Yeah, Lama is a very sexy Russian name

and my dentist, the main lady at the dentist's office is Lama and she's always like, how are you today, Lama, Lama, Lama? And I always like, how are you today, Juan Bal? And I'm like, you, that is so, it's just in the numerology of that name Lama, you know Lama. Like listen, here is how much your crowns will cost Juan Bal. I'm like, oh God, they should hurt,

but you're just a damn sexy. Ha ha, sexy, dentist. So Portia and Dennis have been together for five months Sexy dentist. So Portia and Dennis have been together for five months and he said that he loved her on day one. And in Portia's mind, that is like so amazing and romantic. But in my mind, I'm like, girl, be careful. Cordell Alert, don't you know this is the pattern of like possessive men.

They like to lock that shit down immediately and say like I love you They lure you in they lock it down and the next thing you know like all the tunic hands have to be ordered in a specific way Yeah, but Porsche doesn't care if they're possessive. She's like you can literally buy Porsche Yeah, like she doesn't care if she's possessed she didn't care with Cordell the only time she cared was when he kicked her out of the house and chased the locks It's not like that was her decision. You know, she'd still be with him happy as a pee-and-a-pod. That's true, too, actually. And this is so poor, Shatu.

Like, I went to his club and he said, I love you, and now we're together. Like, okay. I hope you at least got some free onion rings. I mean, she was Christ. She gets like a goodie bag of catch a packets every day. So, um, yeah, basically they're just looking at gigantic half million dollar rings, which yeah, I just don't trust. I mean, congratulations on your hot dog business. Yeah. I don't trust a man who just drops, uh, well, we didn't see him drop this much. This is no, he does

looking at this is is classic Bravo. Let's look at all the expensive things and let the audience assume I'm gonna buy one of these. But actually, after looking at these fancy rings, I'm going down to the vending machine and getting a candy ring. I'm gonna dig up my mother and we'll take hers. Like, it's my mother's ring.

Yeah, it's a- Yeah, it's a- It's like a ring made of like sausage casings. Yeah. So, uh, monos, I mean, it cuts with the hot dog theme. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. It's very, it's for a very specific crowd.

Sausage enthusiasts out there. It's actually like a ring of mini sausages, just like a bunch of links all time together. Just ring cuts the mustard literally. He really hit it out of the ballpark. Oh, good. Okay, so I got hotdog buns. Let's go out to the movies. Let's go out to the movies.

Just imagine the hot dog dancing. I'm imagining like a twizzler being so resentful that it doesn't have the lead in this dance line. It's always that hot dog that wants to go out to the movies and have themselves in fun. Hot dog going to sew to walk it out. She's I guess she's the soda then. And the popcorn has always been so confident. It's like wearing a bucket.

And it's like, so it's like, I don't care. I'm gonna get it out there and dance like Ricky Lincoln, Harris Frey. Like, what do I care? Porsche has been dreaming of the day that she gets to join the hot dog, the popcorn, and the so as they go out to the movies. And now she's closer than she's ever been. Yeah. Oh, for she. So next up, speaking of movies Neenie is carrying my favorite snack Which is a giant basket of prescription medication? So I'm like this is gonna be such a fun scene

But then it's not it's poor Greg. I know poor Greg. He has stage three colon cancer Which I did not I did not know about that and get in the gossip rags And that's so I feel bad, you know, and Neenie was saying like, you know, she's been taking care of him and she's had a lot of tough moments crying alone. She's like, if my car could talk, it would say this bitch cries too much, which is really funny, but it's also sad. Also, this bitch says a lot of really mean things to other, to other drivers. Can you imagine being Mimi's car? Oh my God.

It's like this bitch is sticky. She's like, I'm the glue. Get it. The steering wheel is like an abuse victim because you know, she just beats that wheel when she's screaming at me. Like even when she talks and she starts like hitting the table or whatever, poor steering wheel. By the way, I just want to point out that Nini's tagline.

I think it's the first time in the history of playground taunts that someone has willingly chosen the glue instead of the rubber. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Whatever you say to me bounces off you and sticks to me I'm glue you She's someone's like I'm rubber your glue. Yes anyway. Oh, I was gonna finish that Yes, go on

So she's basically talking about Greg's cancer and and it's really, really sad. And I was like, wait, wait, I have a strong opening guy. I mean, it's not like you can just pretend he doesn't have cancer for the opening just so I have a fun opening to watch, but yeah, I don't know. It feels like a weird thing to complain about, but you know, also like who doesn't complain about cancer? Like it's the worst thing that ever happened.

So just, you know, we haven't said it for a while, so just our regular shout outs cancer, fuck you cancer, go fuck yourself, fuck you. Go fuck yourself, fuck you. Also though, I mean, like, I'm not saying we have to avoid hardships on these shows, but like maybe a transitional scene of like Cynthia rearranging like pepper shakers.

Maybe that could have eased us into it rather than going from like Porsche being so happy about like hot dog love, and then going directly from there to cancer. That's a big turn. And like just like maybe like, you know, Cynthia is like putting some napkins in a holder or like something like that to be like, oh man, I wish I had a scene that had something more going on with it. and then you'd be like okay Then now we're ready for cancer scenes. Yeah, it's empty like opening an aged bottle of white wine that tastes like shit

So that's boss on it. Yeah, I don't think I did this right Okay, so the next scene is candy at rehearsal with escape Yeah No, they're not rehearsal. They're in a limo. Yeah, they're in limo and they're going to, they're getting them an award from ASCAP because they, they like sold platinum albums and stuff. It's like lifetime achievement and it's pretty cool. It's like very exciting and Tamiya is like, yeah, what sort of food do you think they're

going to have there? Like shut up Tamiya. Yeah. So then Cynthia, okay. What do you think they're gonna have there? Like, shut up, Tamika. Yeah, so then Cynthia, okay, so the best thing about this episode is... BAM! It's like Cynthia porn music. Yeah. But, but, but, but, oh well, baby. Yeah, she's, like, we're watching her put frozen grapes into her glass.

And she just, like, drops them in there, like with, like, reckless abandoned. I'm like, girl, you were going great, you're a glass, like, dropping them from, like, three feet above, like, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. So first I was, like, grapes and wine. At first, I was like, what is she doing? Why is she putting grape, like frozen grape and then I realized her eyes keep basically taking a place of ice cubes so then I felt stupid.

Cynthia's, yeah, that's like an old, that's an old, old street or old food network trick I saw on some show. Also they teach you and wait watchers, just put grapes in the freezer and then it's like having little drops of ice cream. No, it freezer and then it's like having little drops of ice cream no it's not like having frozen rates yeah just i'm just warning all of you now

yeah so yeah so we know we're sent to his at because of her kitchen because that's her personality and her kitchen has a whole jar of peppermint so you know she's making that with somebody yeah yeah exactly and then of course her phone rings and it's she still has the generic ring tone on it, you know, like the, like, the, the, whatever it is, you know, I, I, it's like so generic and yet I couldn't replicate it if you asked me to, you know, it's like the

starter ring. I know, actually, I can't think of it either. And we can never think of it when we talk about it It's like and no, yeah, that's that's that was a team I think but Don't don't don't don't know. I would like it if she had the a team But she has that generic like you know just a generic one and she has She has a case she has like a zebra skin on her phone so she's not against customizations but she's like satisfied with the generic apple ringtone. I don't understand. Yeah.

So she tells us about my keel. Yeah. So she tells us about my kill. Yeah. And of course Cynthia, you know it's love because she can name drop in the same sense She's introducing her guy. She met him. She's like, I met this guy through my good friend Steve Harvichal Even together. He says it was love I asked a hundred people if they like my kill and these are the answers. Yes, yes. Yes, the reservations. No. Cynthia's most comfortable way to love over FaceTime.

It always has been. And so they FaceTime and she tells us what makes him different is he swam in the cool waters of Lake Cynthia many times. And they try and make it sexy because the music's like, I'm a pro! A pro. Wow. She really meant like he literally swam in that lake. Yeah.

He got some parasites. Because the first to their vagina is cool waters. It's like, that's not very inviting you know Well, it's better than like a swamp. So so Mike is he's a sportscaster for Fox Sports Which he looks so familiar to me and I don't think it's because of Fox Sports, but maybe it is I don't know but um they're talking and then There's her to get like a little hot and heavy and then no, I'll just walks in and like ruins the mood and so they're starting to get a little hot and heavy and then Noel just walks in and ruins the mood. And so they're having a nice moment.

And I think he says or she says something about the fact that Cynthia's drinking wine, like, oh, wanting down, drinking wine by herself or something like that. Cynthia's like, I don't drink a whole lot of wine. And while she says that, I don't know if you noticed it, the frame behind it was just like 12 wine bottles. And she also had a fish bowl for a glass. I mean, she had a really huge glass. Yeah. There's a challenge.

And then she was telling us how no well met him and they were apparently at her house. And she said, they met because Noah came home early one night and it was awkward and I'm saying too much now Whoa what happened He's like river rafting, you know in the frigid waters of like you know Cynthia or whatever He's fly fishing She's like and no one can tell you a river ran through it saying too much saying too much now.

So now we go to Eva with basically with her boyfriend, Mike, or fiance, Mike, and her child, Marley, and the baby. And they're at a photo shoot. And it's kind of like a beach-narrac scene where Eva's talking about how Mike gets along with Marley so well, because he met Marley when she was one and He's basically the dad, etc. etc. etc. And they're gonna take a family photo And then she's like all right. I'm the model now it takes them all out

And then it's just like sma sma sma yeah, the real reason she's she's going there. It's like the olem Glenn in the mall It's the olem glenner olemills Yeah, the series olemills I think it's like the olem mills in the mall when Is that only Glenn or only Mills? Yeah, they say it's years. Only I think it's like the only mills in the mall when your mom's a camera horror. You know, it's like, all right, get out. Yeah. So she models and she's space. She's like the difference between Cynthia's way of modeling and my way of modeling. It's about 20 years. It's like, oh, okay. Yeah, she you're starting with age shaming. Not liking it, but she does work in a smize. Yeah, in there. And she, uh, she clearly is going to have a super fascinating, um, you know, season storyline about getting married. And you know, we love that. So

that's something new. I like that she's age-shaming someone when she's using her stint on America's top model in every single thing like I Can't wait for Eva's scenes of Man, it is hard having a having a toddler and also having a Four-year-old girl. It is hard like I may have to get an Annie. I can't wait for that scene too. Yeah I'm not yeah, I'm not into her so far. So next up, Mimi, at Swagolicious, her boutique. No, just, oh, I thought it was just Swag. Oh, this was only a Swagolicious.

Oh, this was only a Swagolicious. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow, well, her name is Miss Guy that tripled down, okay? Yeah. Had an delicious to the end. Yeah, I don't know.

Nothing says, hood couture, it's just to the end. Yeah. I don't know. Nothing says, uh, Haudet Couture, like adding an delicious on something. Yeah. So we've added a new character who I love. She's going through. She's going through her Asocaftams basically. Yeah. And then she's like, um, there's an empty hanger to a vorus. I was like, oh my god. Yes. He is the most bored the most bored assistant in history of real housewives. He gives the best

Board shade than anybody. I'm it's like he's bored, but he also hates your guts. You know, yeah Yeah, yeah exactly. He's clearly doing this all For the gram to be like I just want to get some photos with Neenie. That's all I want. Yes, but he got stuck there, you know? He's like, ugh. Because Tivores is like a magical name. Like she got him stuck in this box, you know?

Yeah, he's just standing there. She's just ripping, no, caftans off of hangers and he's just standing there like, ugh. So then Porsche comes over and she's like I was the Craig twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk twerk That's yeah that's pretty much what it was that's Porsche going through this entire episode yeah she puts these so fucking happy you know we talked about this in the Vanderpump rules trailer sometimes bravo ladies like the only thing that matters and the only reason to wake up in the morning is

Will I have a husband? Well, so will some man validate me, you know, and Porsche is one of those people, you know It's like she's got a man and she's just gonna dance through the entire season now she's just happy now and Neenie tells her that she's she's gonna be doing her comedy show Miami And you know then when she comes gets back she's going to be doing her comedy show in Miami and you know that when she gets back she's opening up swaggallicious as seen in Vogue. So you know Porsche of course is like oh my god you're going down to Miami with that so funny because I'm going down to Miami with no one in particular. My friend, my buddy, me.

I mean, he's like, I know this is a man. Porsche. And to Porsche, just standing there like, once my aha fresh gonna arrive. Yeah, to Porsche is just hating them, the store, castams, the flooring, everything. He looks at the camera like fuck you, bitch. Yeah, because then Porsche gets into some crazy

hyper-color purple and teal thing, and like comes out as I twerking and dancing all over the place into Porsche's like, I'm gonna have to steam that. I'm gonna have to get the Porsche butt out of that. Yeah. She is the dancing all around. She's like, look, this is how I'm gonna make eggs. Track, track, track. This is how I'm gonna make pancakes. And then somebody just starts calling out things she can do in the kitchen. She's

like, check the boiling, Porsche. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, clean the stove, Porsche. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, So messed up at district. Candy and her family are having dinner there, like pre-show or the night before, whatever it is, but she's with the whole gang, you know, she's with Todd and Riley and Ace and Kayla. Um, and Don Juan, of course. And you know, we're getting updates, you know, sing now, but I need last 52 pounds and she's getting her glow on. Don't want no drama, don't need no drama in bad drama.

I mean extra. We. And Riley says up as this like supermod model teenager who's just completely over it. And I'm loving this in this version of Riley. Yeah, because basically we're having shades of Emily on OC because Candie Todd kind of want to have another kid because they talk like, don't want to leave no friends behind. don't want to leave anyone behind and they is talking about embryos because he has two embryos they have two embryos left in the freezer and

they're thinking about having them and probably is like no no don't have a mom no I just lost the baby weight from the last one you know she's like I have to raise these children you guys are never home Yeah, she's doing that thing where she's saying they can't he works too much and Can he's like see now? I don't work too much. I go to every single parenting thing and every teacher meeting and then her phone's like Oops, I I missed aces Parenting meeting while I was talking about how I go to all the parenting meetings.

That was pretty perfect. And then Tom's like, yeah, but we have, I have Daddy Daycare and Riley goes, do we want to be honest about Daddy Daycare really? And then we see like a shot of Todd and Ace behind the wheel of a car. Was the car moving? I don't know. Oh, was Ace really driving the car? Is that what you're asking?

Well, I mean, I know Ace wasn't really driving it, but like I hope that the car wasn't actually in motion with Ace just sitting there behind the wheel. Well, I mean, they're the same size now. You know, why shouldn't you allow a big drive? If Todd is allowed to drive, ACE is allowed to drive. Yeah. So, um, so they're, yeah, you know, Todd is basically like, listen, if we want to have the lifestyle to which we're accustomed to slash married into, then we have to work for it slash your mom has to work for it. And I can just say things about what she should be doing. If I want to live the life, your mother has accustomed to me too.

Yeah. And then, Rob, it's like, well, money just matter if you're not around. I'm like, that's true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. Take the money. Okay.

You're almost out of school anyway. Take the money. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Like, yeah, theoretically, that's true. But, you know, that money does afford you a lot of things, like the G-Wagon you got, and probably the personal trainers that you were using.

Yeah, you have a stage in your bedroom, young lady, okay? Yeah, lady. All right. So next, speaking of rich people, who is Miss Chick-fil-A? Because that lady deserves a peach. I mean, she is the richest woman in town. The only thing people in buy-bomb the show is from Chick-fil-A, okay? The food, the drinks, Portia has this gigantic Chick-fil-A cup in the nice scene. There's always at least one housewife with a Chick-fil-A

cup in her hand. She, Portia comes into her house and she just goes, woohoo! And another, I think this guy's new dominant for assistance. No, no, he was there last season. He's quiet. He's a quiet gay. Not anymore. Not anymore. Well, basically, Portia's with her sister and this guy talk about Miami and here's an idea. Why not invite all the girls to Miami Because of course, this is the new thing on, I'm really all the Bravo shows, and I'm not opposed to it at all.

I actually like it to do an early season trip, because it kind of forces the cast members together and to create some sort of drama that will hopefully carry on the rest of the season. I think it's actually a smart tactic, like not making us wait until, you know, the big cast trip, that's three quarters of a way of the season. I think it's actually a smart tactic, not making us wait until the big cast trip that's three quarters of the way through the season where all the real shit happens. So get some shit started now. So this is what this is going to be.

Miami is going to be the early season trip. Yeah. So basically, Porsche calls all the ladies to come to the trip, you know, and works in her chair a lot and dances around. Yeah, and then I like, I would say that she, we're gonna say that she calls Candy. Yeah, I was gonna say the one of the last people she calls Candy. Which Candy when she's on camera, even if she's feeling anger towards somebody is usually like, how? But on the phone, she's just like, oh, I'm gonna pause. Yeah.

Well, I had forgotten about Candy's ringtone that she had made. Because of course, it calls up. It's like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Hopefully, I answer by the time I finish ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, hi. Hopefully I answer by the time I finish ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing hi Hi, Pasha hi and then Porsche's like, hi, this is Porsche

Just like a huge slurp out of her soda She's like how's everything going candy's like Well, she's like, oh good, well, everything's going good over here too. And candy is like, yeah. So, it's so much. I love it. This thing, candy, the last person they can't do wants to hear from is Porsche and there's a producer next We're being like you have to answer the phone. It's part of the show. Just answer the phone So anyway, so so porous is like we're gonna come down to Miami for an uni etc

And then can you say who else is coming for so well? No one else can really make it so it'll just be you and me But we can fly together and can do like see now Where's like I'm just kidding It's time for commercial. It's time for celebrity beef You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm that Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic

celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowball She loved triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how

much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now after the commercial break, it's time to pack and it's time to go to Miami and Porsche has now switched into this like big red with it's not a big wig but it's like bright red wig and she's wearing this like white pants and her ass is just huge in it and there's like this shot of her

Running up the stairs and all you see is Ass and legs and it looked like it looked like like a swordfish steak at the supermarket going up a staircase, you know? You know, like not a filet, but like a steak with a cut across, just like that going up. Also, Portia's the first person I've ever seen who Fantasia's Ronald McDonald hair on American Idol

was a good choice. Is that how I'm gonna do that? Because she's wearing like Fantasia Red. Well, it's it is. Um, it is sort of reminding me of Beyonce's hair in, um, that movie she did with, uh, Allie Lerner and Ejerselva, which was a very, very strong film. Yeah, you might remember it from the clips at the Oscars. Everybody. What was it called? It's called like I keep on I keep on saying the movie was called

unbelievable, but it wasn't called that. I don't remember. It's a great movie. Very important. It really super super great. So yeah, she's running rachis excited for this weekend because she knows she's going to get proposed to and she gets to go on a private flight, honey. And she she's getting into the car and she's bouncing hull around and she's like, my titties are sweating. I'm man, I should have kept my little titties. These big titties do nothing but sweat. Yeah.

And I'm glad she pointed that out because the whole time I'm looking at Porsche, I'm like, Jesus Christ, Scoliosis. Yeah. I'll do that to yourself yourself doesn't your back her? I that's honestly that's a lot. It's a lot. I have scoliosis. I don't even have I barely have a Beacup my natural breasts and my back. Yeah, I have my I have my man boobs. Those are gonna be scoliosis enough So then Eva is packing with her kids in one of them fart. And she's like, did you fart?

And then they crack up. And then Cynthia's, Nini calls Cynthia. And she's like, are you going to come support me in Miami and my comedy show and all this stuff? And Cynthia's like, I have a conference call. Good one, Cynthia. Yeah, I'm hanging up on her, which that's really going to help to totally ignore Nini until you see you see what you really need to do is build up

meanies rage wash his already in a really hard place you know yeah exactly also synthia is so the person on the conference call that ruins the conference call this is in the on a conference call this in the uh... what I'm sorry, we, no, you go, you go. Uh-huh. Yeah. And you're like, Cynthia, do you like, there's all, you don't have to be on the speaker phone. It's only you there. What? I'm sorry. What? Okay. It keeps interrupting, but never says anything. Yeah. Like, what did you say, Cynthia? What was that? I was like, oh, what?

Yeah. No, no, no, you go. I guess I'll just try. No, okay, then it runs. Yeah, I guess I was just trying to just like chat. I mean, I guess what I just want to say that, like, I'm just really happy to be here on this call. Oh, really?

After five minutes of like, stop and start, that's what you get out of it. So then we go over to the Ask Apartheid ceremony and Candy's on the red carpet and Ace is crying you know and having a little fit because it's way past his bedtime and so John Juan who you know poured on Juan and poured Ryan because they both get stuck as the babysitters. Exactly. Supposed to be Todd earning his keep. But see from the red carpet candy is just like where is Todd is he there to take the

baby and Don Juan's like probably at the bar. I'm not sure if he's over at the bar. Of course Don Juan, I mean how many times has that baby been given over to Don Juan? Like you're just take Ace. He's like, oh, I guess gets his full on Tom and Jerry Face. So then, yeah, so, you know, so, Tremandu pre makes a little speech about escape and they get their ward and it's nice.

I'm happy for Candy. But now we go to someone else gives the speech and then Candy comes up the inches. Oh yeah. Oh sir, we like to thank our fan glue as well for sticking with us. It's like Riley's just texting like, booring. Thanks for remembering.

Yeah, Riley is a good. Yeah. Thanks for referencing me at the end of your speech, mom. So then over at Miami, Florida, portion Dennis are writing around in this gigantic car. And he's like, why did you have to bring a suitcase for every damn day we're here? She's like, it's turn up weekend. Like, literally, in Miami, it's turn up weekend.

We're gonna get glad turnips. We're gonna have so much fun. My friend's husband has cancer. So we're gonna have fun. Like, only Portia can work cancer into a party sentence. You should make me still like wanna go. My friend's husband has cancer so we're gonna have fun like only poor chicken We're at cancer into a party sentence. Yeah, make me still like want to go And then Porsche just talk about like everyone's gonna be there like Marlow and candy you know candy and this is like Yeah

I like like I know her really I'm just like, really from where? Because, uh, I don't know. Yeah, this is our, we've met before. I mean, I go to OLG once a week, which is also right there. He's like, I live right there. So I go there all the time. She goes, well, you haven't been since I'm that you. And he's like, uh, uh-huh. Forresta turns into the lady from airplane who's like, Jim never likes his coffee before

the moon, whatever. He's like, he's, that is never talked to me about OLG before. But I'm not gonna be getting proposed to you this weekend, so I'm only thinking of that. Um, and I don't really think much of it at this point until we see the coming this season clips where candy's like I got some Yeah, well, I mean I mean she does eventually get proposed to but I don't think this night is gonna be the night because they get their Airbnb and Like guess what there's a chef there and flower petals around and he has a surprise for her here it comes and it's clearly not a ring because the box is like wide and square it's probably like a selection of e-cigarettes but they you know bravo tries to make this think it's gonna be something big and exciting and that's pretty much it for

that so why don't we move over to some Mary to medicine. Just you like to pick right down and Mary to medicine. Yep, Mary to medicine was so good this week. I was really, really into it. You know, it's the usual fun stuff. We open up with a whole bunch of typical scenes. Mariah is taking leaves off of a yellow rose, which is surprisingly docile for her. Although I think she probably enjoys that feeling of tearing something off of something else, you know.

And Jackie, Jackie is like, Jackie is with her patients and she's like, I'm seeing fewer patients. I've stepped away from the practice. So I'm seeing fewer patients, but I'm spending more time with them. I'm like, well, that doesn't accomplish anything. It does that then. And so I could, and I'm spending more quality time together. And then they show the clip of her washing his car. I know. Like they're never going to let her forget that.

I've earned 10 punchouts on my auto zone card. So I make it, I move that we just moved towards the end because basically this is well I was a big couple trip to Antigua. Yeah, she calls Antigua. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, they they had to they had to Antigua and like there is drama out I'm gonna say not the end end but I would say to the middle part of the end So they go to Antigua and they started to pronounce I say Antigua. Is that wrong? I thought that's Antigua could be Antigua. I don't know I thought I should have looked it up before I had Making fun of Toya, but I don't leave it though the truth or jeep

I'm gonna look up Antigua. I know and Antigua now. Antigua. Antigua. Antigua. Well it's spelled Antigua. Well is this spelled Antigua? Actually I'm not sure it is. I think it is Antigua. I think you're right. I mean who knows. You guys look when in doubt it is Toria. Trestoria. I don't know how it's pronounced. You know what I mean? This may just be the blind leading the blind. It's definitely spelled Antigua. I've never... No matter how it's pronounced. You know what, I may, this may just be the blind leading the blind. It definitely spelled Antigua. I've never, no matter how it's pronounced, I've never heard Antigua before. No, it is an Antigua.

No, you're right. I think it is Antigua. Well, there we go, Jeet. Well, that, Eugene. So the thing is this, so they split into two villas for this whole thing. And by the way, Jackie has destroyed her leg by being aggressive with her fitness, which is funny. And she also tapes every fitness session, I guess, to use for footage, because we actually

saw the cell phone footage of her hurting her ankle randomly. Yeah. Glythni, Glythni Leg is the new hit. So the one villa has Mariah Simone, Jackie and Toya, and the other ones gonna have quad contestant. And Heavenly, so Toya takes Contessa and others over to the second villa. And apparently when they get to the second villa, this drama happened where a crab, you know, damed to walk in front of Toya and she got startled and flailed her arms and slapped Contessa right in her mastectomy area.

I know. Poor Contessa. What are you laughing at, geez. Well, I'm laughing at the lab's crap. What's he doing? He, I'm laughing that there was a crab. And then when they told the story about what happened, because you could hear the audio, but they didn't have visual footage of it. So when they told the story,

they showed the villa in black and white, and then you hear the, Oh my God, what I should have dated is a crab coming by. And then you hear like a pfft in your contestant being like, ahhhhhh! And then you just, sorry, I'm sorry. But that was a crab. That was a cat in the middle of the road. I'm sorry. And they show footage of a little crab scurrying away

in black and white. Like, there's the crab who did it. Yeah, there we go. There we go. Tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, tilt, the crab's running away. The evil crab, date line. The crab got away.

The crab. And so, the crab's got that. Oh my god, that like that like just cracked me up so So now so now this is this sets the tone for what this first night in Antigua is gonna be like yes because contest says Breast got all swollen and bruised and she's in bed with Scott and she's like is my breath swollen? He's like I can't tell she's like but is it bruise? He's like I can't tell and she's like well, I'm trying to be a team player But I she could have done that on purpose like I don't know that she didn't do that on purpose, you know, which

I mean toys a jackass, but she's not gonna punch you in the tit on It's not like she's walking around like I'm gonna hurt her with the second I see a cat in the road Yeah, exactly and by the way then they flash back to the crab a second time conversation like hey remember in case you forgot about that crab here it is again Not damn crab come out of nowhere Contestants like well tell you this she didn't hit me in the face. She didn't hit me in the head She didn't hit me tell you this. She didn't hit me in the face. She didn't hit me in the head. She didn't hit me in the knee.

She didn't hit me in the arm. She didn't hit me in the shoulder. She didn't hit me in the stomach. She hit me in the chest. Okay. I pray that was an accident. I pray. Am I a little bit down?

A little bit down. A little bit down. So then they're having a thyroid eyes. Yeah, to represent a romantic theme. Yeah, fire and ice burning and frigidness. And so they're all getting ready to go out to this big dinner and everything. And by the way, Ujiin and Toya's bed was right in the middle of the room. And that's also a design thing. I really hate, you know, at the beginning of the season, as bad was right in the middle of the room and that's also a design thing I really hate, you know, at the beginning of the season, there was a scene of quad in a bed that was like up against the corner. It wasn't flush against the wall. It was like a triangle of space behind

it. And remember that really bothered me. Another thing that bothers me is when places float a bed in the middle of the room like trust me nuts. It really does. But look at least there was a sidewalk outside. Hey, Eugene, let's just take a casual walk from here to there and I'm sure I'm not going to. Oh my God. Wow. Toriel loves the sidewalk, man.

So they're all getting ready to go out and everybody's gathering in the living room. Scott comes down in the wrong color. He's like in light blue. And so like, why are you dressed like that, I lead. And he's like, um, well, Contessa had a misstep today. Toya saw a what she described as a hairy cat in the road. And her elbow hit Contessa in the breast. And she's like, uh, that was about elbow.

That was my head. Because I was like,'s like, that was about elbow, that was about head. Because I was like, look out, that's a moose. Rodel Big Donald was in the road. And so he's like, he's like, well, either way, her breast is swollen. And then Curtis is like, well, do you need the ER doctor? We've got one here and he goes, that's what I do for a living, so thanks. I was like, okay, do you need the ER doctor? We've got one here and he goes, oh, that's what I do for a living.

So thanks. I was like, okay, you know what? This couple is kind of, they're kind of dicks at this point. They're pretty good. Yeah, they are. They're also being a little dramatic considering their doctors. Well, actually not so much Scott, but Contest is.

It's like, I get it. Doctors make the worst patients, but you're a doctor and you should be a little bit more chill about all this, okay? But you're like crying and you're like coming up with conspiracy theories about toy in the crab. I'm like, you know what? You have to like lead by example here a little bit. Like you're in the army. So just like, I know it hurts and it sucks and it's like, it's scary that it's that it's swollen up, but like, you gotta suck it up. You're a doctor. I'm sorry. Yeah. I just, I think I feel bad for her, but it's like at it up, you're a doctor, I'm sorry. Yeah, I just, I mean, I feel bad for her,

but it's like at this point, now you're gonna make it a fight that Toya punched you on purpose. I mean, because of a crab. Yeah, I just, like, the Toya was blaming the crab. Like, this is truly like the Oliver Stone version, which is that like, Toya was never scared of the crab.

It was a conspiracy. She was waiting, basically, Ujjin ran ahead, put a crab on the side of the road and toy I waited for the right moments that way she could slap Slap contest in the boob and blame it on the crab the crab blows its brains out in the bathroom I've been complicit and something that's been terrible crab apocalypse now So crab pop-a-lips now. So, Moran's like a soul. Did you really accidentally hit her? And she's like, yeah, the crab came out of no

ways. And Simone's like, well, she had already mentioned that she had pain. So maybe her pain was from before. And then Tori's like, well, I don't want this to hurt our vacation. You know know let's just forget it yeah and the she's like now i can't imagine what could have damaged her breast like that but the fact that toy it did it

probably makes the damage seem worse than it is like oh god these ladies were gonna have a breast fight you really will so they all get on the party bus and they're heading towards their fire and ice thing. And again, they're talking about Contessa and heaven is like, where are you now, Tarya? That Contessa was thinking that maybe you did it on purpose. I don't know.

Like maybe you did. Did you do that to me? I was like, new vlog. And then everyone's like, everyone knows that if toya was really going to come on Tuesday, she would like, she would come for you. She pulled her hair. And of course, they show the flashback from season one the epic pool party fight, etc And Quad is like now you see here. I

Inshurred her that it was an accident. I'm like, thank you for ensuring her I proclaim this was accidental Accidentum monumental Now miss Get the Stop Stop What has transpired has been a confluence of various actions and deliberations that took force in the arm and towards the Brestacles and the chest of face and bones and

Toys like she did to get the fuck out of my villa dead. Oh my god. Okay, now you're gonna kick the injured person out. Oh, Toya. Like you just can't, Toya is unteachable. And then Toya, that sounds like a children's book. But then Toya, then Toya is unteachable. I'm unteachable. So then Toya starts to sob in the bus. And everyone, I just, for some reason, it cracked me up because everyone's just seen

it and they're also going, oh, Toy toy oh toy I just I just love that to happen at random times in life that's like oh you'll see your people and oh toy oh oh I'm on a crab bro that's that the version so okay, so they get to dinner and Mariah, I mean, Toya and Eugene being the head to this party is already insufferable this trend. They're like every single thing they're like, look what we did. Look, you did not. Okay, super production did this. Yeah, let's not pretend like you bought everybody a mansion on the beach. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So they set up this whole dinner and they're all sitting there and like, well, we allowed

the doils to get the giving. So now we sit through like a really annoying sequence of everyone giving each other gifts and quads, spending the entire time just like sipping from a soda. And be like, oh, well, what a hot panne I has no gift, but I have the gift of the sister circle, the gift unto itself. Um, one is the loa-list number, let me know. The gift that I have is the gift of a brand new silly set of mattress that I stole from Dr. Gregory.

They're all giving each other diamonds, which is weird and really nice jewelry. But Eugene's like, I purchased a diamond. This is the size of the diamond you'll get. And it's like, it's big as a baby fist, but it's just cubic. So while they wait for the real one, whenever and Torrey looks pissed. Yeah, Torrey is not about that. Yeah.

And Torrey, but Torrey only got him a booklet of vouchers that's like, I could give you a tug, man. She got hers from Spencer's gifts. I mean, like everyone else, like, like you said, diamonds, or Chanel, or cufflinks, she literally got like a gag gift for him. Yeah. And thenly's like, uh, daddy, I got to do some Versace Kuffing story. I know you ain't got a shirt, but maybe you'll get one. I thought he does work on dress shirt. Yeah. Hey, I got you some Versace scrubs. So while pork quad has to watch everybody else get a gift.

And then, uh, Heavenly... But she handles it well. She handles it well. Yeah, she handles it well, yeah. But this is where Heavenly gives her a gift, or is that later? Yeah, so Heavenly's like, in her daddy, I thought it'd be nice to give something to Quad because she's alone and sad and sealing people. I was furniture and stuff and like, you can't spit, I can't hear without,

ah, so here you go, Quad. I was like, I can't hear you. And my cousin break down. And then Tori's like, okay, now we're gonna do shit stirring. This is the game we came up with called questions. Ooh, jeez, the first question is for Eugene. Did you ever think a step outside of marriage?

And shape enough to fuck you are you kidding? He's like I'm not taking any steps. I don't have to take So so yeah, so then, so when Toya, there are some other questions, but when Toya asks, have you ever thought of stepping outside of our marriage, Quad goes, oh, you should ask Doctor G, that question? And Toya is like, oh, why would I ask Doctor G if he's ever stepped out on the marriage? Why would I ever do that? And what we skipped over is that earlier in the episode, Quad reveal that she went to the club the night before and saw Dr. G dancing with the lady and when they asked her, why were you at the club? She's like, oh well, not a friend.

I had to pick something up from her. So naturally I went to the club to get it and happened to see Dr. G there at the dance and with the girl. That was so odd for me to see that. I know the way she made it sound like obviously someone called her and said uh Gregory's here dancing with some hoe you know. You need to see this and get it this way, like, you need to see with your own eyes, that make sure it's like, you get this leverage.

But she makes it sound like she's picking up drugs, you know. Like she had to stop at the club to pick something up. It's like, are you admitting to a cook? The habit, like, what were you picking up at the club? She's like, there was an edible arrangement that I was sent accidentally to the club, and I couldn't just let it sit there and be edible for other people So yeah, so she says like oh well you should have asked dr. G that question because he and she was like well Why I don't even understand it?

Which is hilarious. She's still so rattled from that crap. She can't have picked up and she forgot and so everybody's like oh Victoria, you know, she's always doing the wrong saying the wrong thing. And she goes, well, I forgot because what I wanted to ask you about was why you took all the furniture out of the house. Because the whole beginning of the episode was them all reading the blogs, which only this show has that where every cast member is reading the blogs at the same time. Yeah, always about who's cheating on who within their friend group. So that's where they all found out in the blogs that quad went in the middle of the night walk. Gregory was gone and took all the furniture out of. I know. I'm by the way, he's sad blogs that they don't have anything better to

report about report on than like cast members, merits medicine off season. So, I mean, as we sit here talking about them. So, yeah. So to yeah, so quasi, well, the top lot say a lot of things. They say, so many things, you can't believe it all. And Quads basically says that Greg is just being petty and getting back at her. And like, she doesn't really deny stealing everything, but she says that he's being petty. Well, I like that Torrey goes, well,

I wouldn't take all the furniture out of the house because I wouldn't be leaving the house. It's that that was funny. And her husband's like, oh, great. So then it turns into quad going on, a quad monologue, you know, sabilog, where she's like I Saw my husband Dancing with another on my face

Well, I'm not breaking the door Like going crazy because they're all booking her Mariah especially is Mainly because Quatt is actually very well composed up to this point She's like listen don't believe the tabloids and then this one Mariah who's drunk is like well I mean, I think that your friends, we just wanna hear something about your life, anything about your life, that's all. We have questions. We just wanna know something. And everyone's like, she just told us,

what else do you wanna know? She just did. And then Mariah's like, I just simply asked you a question, and she can't speak for you some raya is just now starting to stir the pot and that's when Quad is like oh Mariah is trying to come for me so I will turn on robot crying boys I saw my mother's work and I was some dancing all I got I'm having a mistake shit

you don't have to say anything quad you do not have to Like she's like screaming at Mariah now Mariah and Evan Lee are screaming at each other now and Heavenly's like bitch fuck you okay, so then it cussed Jackie talking to us and she's like heavenly spiritual journey It's a damn mess journey. It's a damn mess. Changes rates. Yeah, exactly. I mean, while Quad is like the fight has now moved on to Heavenly Mariah and the Quad is like, no, I will not have you fight over me. I will not have you fight over me.

Continue please. Yeah. Then Mariah, okay, Mariah and Heavenly are screaming, Mariah takes her glass and breaks it on the chair like a shank, like she's gonna stab Heavenly with it. Yeah. And then Tor is like, this ain't the Shawshank Redemption. It was hot and so bad. Quad is like, this is not the Shawshank Redemption. This is the lamb shank Redemption in from my cookbook.

Also the Shawshank Redemption would be funnier because she could just like dig a hole in her slowly with a spoon. Yeah so Mariah literally has a broken glass in her hand, Grand Tattato style and Damon is like oh no baby no don't say these. That's not nice. I'm sad. I'm sad, you know He's like no one can defend quiet against me, okay? I know her the longest and what did she say? Heaven links oh, so heavily looks like a fool. Yeah By the way Mariah's Mariah's argument makes little to no sense

Like what what are you talking about everyone Everyone's saying, hey, calm down. And she's like, no, I've known her the longest. Like what? Yeah, so I could be a gentleman class. I want, which makes no sense. And then heavenly, whips out her famous yo mama. She's like, yo mama look like a fool. And then she kind of throws her chair.

And oh god, eating now. That's family, that's family. Aiden, a yo mama joke isn't family. Get over it. Yeah, these topics are just literalists. Okay, like they are strict interpreters of mama jokes. Like, you know what, like, and fuck you Aiden, your wife is sitting there, she's broken a glass

and holding in her hand like a weapon and you sit there silently and then heavily makes a yo mama joke. And he's like, whoa, that's family. That's that thing at two far. Like your wife has broken glass in her hand that she wants to throw or stab at someone and this is what gets you man Oh my come on. They're the worst those two and she more as like go get your wife She's had a line when you're gonna tell your wife get your bitch get your bitch

Okay, because if I get her it's gonna be ugly and then daddy's like I don't want it disrespect your wife But inaudible grumbling talk And Margot's everybody at this table has a mama everyone has a mama like Please here's what you have to understand about your mama jokes like you know that remember that show on MTV called Yo mama like that wasn't about oh my god They're probably broke the TV. He's like, how dare you do this to my wife. I mean, like, the fact that, I mean, that's the funniest thing about this show, the fact that Mariah keeps taking the Yo Mama

joke so personally, and the fact that Heavenly can't help and make them. And the fact that Heavenly was so good all season, and then she just explodes with the Yo Mama joke and hurls a chair across the sand. It's kind of amazing. So now the husbands are starting to fight, which is rare. Usually the husbands stay calm, but daddy's all upset now and then have a Mariah goes, I'll pico to guy that. Oh, chopped up and served on the side. I'm like, oh, geez. Well, that's delicious. She said that. I'll pico to gaiow that hoe chopped up and served on the side

Well, that's delicious. She is that that I would have been very proud if have if Mariah had been showing up here with pico to gaiow and some fresh chips this whole time. I might like her Yeah, I mean See Mariah you just have to like you have to frame your arguments in a way that we can understand Pico to gaiow someone all right I will I will see where you want to go with that. Like if you had called Quata Corn Tortilla, I'd hate the bitch too, you know? Yeah. But if you say rapper and some nice flattened flower, I'm like, that's that's my

friend. What are you talking? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm afraid of it. Yeah. I'm afraid of it. Yeah, I'm afraid of it.

So that's the end of that. Next show this show will be on Saturday. So we'll check in and see what's going on. But until then, tomorrow's Real Housewives of Orange County. So we'll see you then. Until the end, go listen to Vanderpump Rules trailer over on Patreon. You can also get tickets for our show this week in Seattle

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