Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Nope-a!

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are still in Greece, and Nene and Kenya bring on the tragedy. Will they ever get past this? And hey...are these cats getting fatter? To hear this week's bonus episode about Love is Blind, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live is coming to Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Toronto, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. The Bay Area Betches! Betches!

You're the Wyndham beneath our wings, Joe Wyndham. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Let's run some errands with Emily Arons. Oops, she did it again, it's Brittany Montana. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Hava Nikola Weber. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good.

He makes us squee. It's Richie D. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. You don't touch the Nikki Morgan Ladders. One day your Rachel's in. and the next day you're out. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Lisa Wallet, now that's what I call wall entainment. Higher than high res, it's Lauren Perez.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying okay. Christy Wawardy-Dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high low. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson! Christy, wow, where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson!

And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Mina Kuchikuchi! She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. We like her more than a smidge, it's Kelly Cartledge. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Let's take off with Tamala Plane. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Yes, we should with Carrie Bridgewood. Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony.

Incredible edible Matthewsisters. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Stump, the Stump Master. Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Is a frog's ass watertight? It's Rosen's Seity. No one can do it like Andrea Jewish. It's a black and white Always ready for Nicole pass already. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Is a frog's ass watertight? It's Rosen's 80. No one can do it like Andrea do it. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD. Nancy C. Centicisto. We love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys!

I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I love you guys! I'm Ronny and that's been over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, how's it going?

Good. Well, congratulations because Ben has another episode, brand new episode just came out right now, of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's up on YouTube. Congrats Ben. How do you feel? Thank you. I felt great. I mean, what a wonderful way to spend the quarantine, right? Just drawn some cartoons. So yeah, go check that out on YouTube. It's a nice distraction for how crazy the world has become literally the world. Sometimes we say that like, sort of symbolically or whatever the word is figuratively, but really it is a crazy situation. So I hope everyone is staying safe and socially distancing and staying indoors,

keeping cozy. You know, last week on the bonus episode, we were talking about coronavirus coming through, rolling through, and I was joking that I was looking forward to the quarantine because it'll be like a snow day and yada yada yada. And it occurred to me a few days later, I was like, you know, I was joking, but the truth is that for a lot of people who are being quarantined, it's really, really impacting their jobs and their careers. And, you know, if they really can't afford to not be at work. So I just want to say, like, I give a special shout out to people who are really going through

it right now and hope everyone's doing okay and keeping their head above water and we're hoping that you know our podcast You know at least be you know a little bit of like levity in a pretty uncertain time Yeah, well of course we're joking about it last week, but shit sure gets real like over. Right. I mean it's like wow Okay, then. Yeah, this is a little more serious than we were led to believe there in the beginning. So yeah, really scary. L.A. just passed their, you know, worst closures of restaurants and everything's canceled, including us, including our last shows. We are canceled for the next two months because everybody is, you know, justifiably freaking out and being careful.

So we've decided that this way, by the way, but it's actually important to clarify something. We're not canceled. We're postponed. Our March and our April shows. So Salt Lake City, Orlando, Charleston, Madison, and Oklahoma City, those have all been postponed until the fall ideally we're working on getting new dates Because every single event in the history of the world at the moment is like being postponed to the fall Those are all being postponed till then your tickets if you bought them will be honored if the new dates do not work for you You will be able to get a refund you go to your the point of purchase wherever you got your tickets You will get a refund. Hopefully you'll be able to still see us when it comes around. Right now, our May shows are still on, but we're sort of like an awaited see pattern along

with the rest of the world. It's a super massive inconvenience, but our first priority is making sure that everyone stays healthy and that we don't over tax hospitals. And you know, it will just be shady, we'll be shady on the internet instead. Yes, so instead of doing our show in Salt Lake City, we decided, fuck that, we're gonna still do our live show. But since we have to stay in our houses,

we're gonna do it on Instagram live. So everybody, we're gonna do it at the same time that we would have done it in Salt Lake City, which is 7 PM mountain time, Mountain time That's 6 p.m. Pacific time. That's 9 p.m. Eastern time. That's 8 p.m. Central time. Just go look at our Instagram for more info, but yeah, we're just gonna go on Instagram live and we're gonna do a live show Anyway, we are gonna be covering the season the final final reunion of the season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. So come join us for that. Anyone is welcome.

Yes. Okay. And you know what? It's free to the world and I have one other thing to chill. Okay. As many of you guys know, I'm super into board games. I love me some board games. Ronnie has had to tag along with me at various, various cities that we've gone to

up and like, oh, there's a board game store and he's got to come into the board game store with me. Well, I have been invited to become a co-host of a podcast called Game Brain, which is a LA based board gaming podcast. It's basically about this gaming group that I've been lucky enough to be welcomed into. And it's essentially essentially there's there's basically one host and then the the co-host revolves around people in the game group So I'll be on every you know every I guess probably six to eight weeks and my very first episode just dropped like 10 minutes ago So if you're into board gaming It's a totally different podcast and watch what crap and so Kai

But still go give it a listen and you'll hear me this week opining about Board games, so that's cool. Yeah, that's congrats. I'm actually so so excited because I love board games and I've like You know Ronnie and you and I were sort of like unlike Dolores and And Jackie we're cut from the same cloth, you know, and we like having our opinions heard And so I've had all these opinions about organs for so many years and now finally finally I have a platform where I can Spout off and be nonsensical, so that's that go check it out very cool right on bit. Okay, thank you

Pathways whoa, Pathways all over the place If you look in the sand and you see not only your steps, but somebody else's foot steps. So Jesus is a board game, okay? Ben is making paths on the beach. So I just make a board game about that. Yeah, can you tell I've been stuck at home with my family? You've got like everything.

I'm like, wow, let's relate this to the Bible somehow. How about that? Well, can I ask this to the Bible somehow. How about that? Okay. But today, the day... Well, the canasta by the way, canasta was the answer to a New York Times crossword or clue the other day, by the way. And I thought of you. Was it Manif from Heaven, the clue? Canasta. Okay.

The clue is what's Ronnie doing right now with his mother? That's it, canasta. Was the clue. Rhonda babysitter. Canasta. It's like handing a baby an iPod so it'll shut up, you know? with his mother. I said, Kanasta was the clue. Rhonda babysitter. It's like handing a baby an iPod so it'll shut up, you know. Jack here's three decks of Comcads. Ma, I think Kim cards.

Kim cards. I don't know what they're called. Anyway, just gonna get myself more and more trouble with the Kanasta community. And listen, I don't need a Kanasta podcast coming after me. It's a Kannasta apocalypse. Yeah, I have joined a new podcast called Knasta Apocalypse. It's how Knasta players are dealing with COVID-19. They're from Valiant.

Knasta is my mother. We'll just binge somebody out for nothing, every single episode. Just like me, her son. Oh, goodness. Well, enough about end of days and can ask let's talk about we what are we talking about this episode? By the way we should mention that one of the victims of by way this is metaphorical we got to be careful because there are actual physical victims.

But one of the side effects of, I can't say side effects either, what's the proper word? One of the strange outcomes of this. I'm just having fun watching you flounder around. Yeah, it's a life flounder. Just trying to find the right words. I'm laughing at the pool, guys. I know. The point is this the real housewives of Atlanta their reunion was supposed to take this week and it has been a good canceled because of coronavirus. How about that? Yes, and I know I feel better than a lot of people because you know the NBA stuff happened that was a lot of the whole season was canceled, right? So, you know, that's what's straight guys,

really started taking everything seriously. They're a quage, this is serious. And I was like, aha, Bravo wasn't canceled, because what? It is slowly but surely, probably, not canceled, but, oh, who's floundering now? So now I'm floundering. All right.

Yeah. No, Bravo is, yeah, it's taking its toll. A lot of the shows are no longer in production. Thank God New York is wrapped Their watch happens live is on hiatus so It's that we have Andy on Instagram apparent on he's doing IG live things. I tuned in last night He's like guys. We just have to keep socially distancing and You know, it's gonna be tough. I'm a dad. I've got a kid. All right.

Yeah, here's a cure. A kid. I have a kid. God. Hey kid. He's just interviewing his side. He's like, hey, little Ben going. How about those boobs out? When did you get a dick? Love your new neck, Ben. Love it. So anyway, real house was Atlanta. That is what we're here to talk about today. I have to say one, one, another strange aspect of this pandemic that we're going through is how already attitudes have started to change about touching your face and being around people.

And now watching reality TV, I notice so many things people do. I'm like, you can't do that. You can't do that. Even on Love is Blind, which by the way, we have a very special bonus episode this week. We haven't recorded it yet. It'll be up later this week, but we are going to be doing our Love is Blind bonus episode.

And even when I was watching that, and Barnett is like sitting there talking to Amber, and he's like picking his nose and rubbing his eyeballs over and over again, I was like stop stop doing that You're spreading the disease that hasn't arrived yet. Oh god If you watched the reunion of love is blunt his jacket is the coronavirus It's like a visual representation of the virus. I literally got I literally got through half of the reunion last night And then I started to develop my hourly psychosomatic symptoms

So I was like you know what this is too much for me. Let me deal with my psychosomatic symptoms. So I was like, you know what, this is too much for me. Let me deal with my psychosomatic issues. They went away and I was like, I'm, I'll watch the last 30 minutes of reunion. But I mean, I feel like the reunion's not gonna be much more than Nicholas Shave being like, I mean, tell me about it. Women, right?

You know what, I am so proud of you for coming on here being yourself. Like me, Nick Lache obviously Wow, it's funny. I'm not concerned about this coronavirus because as far as I can tell I'm old is 98 degrees. Am I right everyone? Okay, okay, so we are gonna recap real housewives of Atlanta today and yes, I was thinking the same thing I'm like, you know throwing dishes. Okay, that's one thing. Get your fingers out of her hair, please. Yeah. Yeah.

Get your fingers out of her hair. Yeah. Exactly. So, um, we, uh, the women are on their, uh, trip to Greece. Still going on. They're having fun. And, uh, we opened the up, the, up the episode. It's the morning, uh, Porsche is hanging out with her baby and her mom who are like in another building or something. Neenie is struggling with the time change. You know, just sort of stuff like that. Cynthia is dancing around and she's got, she's branded her butt to say chill.

Uh, chill. Jail. By the way, Cynthia, okay, we are, I promise we will recap this, but this is Atlanta adjacent. Cynthia posted on Instagram last night. She's like, job, we're socially distancing. And since we're socially distancing up in,

wherever they are, wherever, portal ranch, wherever Mike's place is, they decided to like do this like TikTok thing. I guess your dad was doing it on Instagram also, but there's like, I guess is there a TikTok thing going on when you do something with your elbows? I mean, in this house there's always some TikTok thing going on. I don't know what the hell it is.

My niece looks like she's got some kind of a tick. Let's take. Now I see what they call it that. It's a tick. It's a tick of TikTok. She does it everywhere, talking, standing in line. My dad was telling this more rose story yesterday, like about a friend dying and my grandma,

how are we gonna take care of my grandma through all this? And she's standing behind him, like, gyrating, like to herself. It's the weirdest fucking thing that kids are going through. It's just, but it's not just kids. It's also the Bailey household.

It's the chill household, because she's like, jav, we're so quarantined. So we're going to socially distance ourselves right now. And then it's like, it feels like 12 people are doing this like dance, where they do a little elbow thing and then they move out of the way because then Melissa Gorgers family did it also. But I'm like, you guys have so many people over right now.

This is not socially just, you guys literally have like 12 people over. I understand a lot of them are your children, but there are other people that are not your children there. And you guys are all there. And then it all ends with Mike doing a pelvic thrust against the camera And he's like not wearing underwear whatever so his dick is just like flapping in our faces I did not feel like this was there was enough social distance Chiu chauk chiu chauk So she's not on TikTok, but she's gyrating her butt and it says, Jail.

And then we go over to Kenyane, Candy doing a photo shoot. Um, I don't know. Everybody's doing a photo shoot on the beach. She's like that. Yeah. Sleeping cat. And you're like, what is Marlo? How did Marlo bring staff?

Like Marlo's barely even all this show at this point. Like, how did she get a staff? And it just got to Maro getting her hair done. And she's got those weird like sujelles under her eyes. What a heartless. Yeah, Daniel stopped having them all so last week. Yeah, they're like, Dr. what's that doctor? Dr. Dr. Sholes.

Yeah. Dr. Sholes Souls. And she's like, I love this villa. I just wish my friends were richer and could have staff here like me. I'm like, you literally gave out some Greek dollars, some euros to some people on the street and handed in like paint brushes

and said, here, pretend like you're my makeup artist. Yeah. So then, Candy and Ken, you're talking. And Candy's like, so how are you gonna do this today? You know, with you and Neenie. Yeah, and she's basically like, she basically is trying to get Kenya and Neenie to have a conversation

to start like patching things up, et cetera, et cetera. And Kenya explains that she didn't really wanna, she didn't wanna have the conversation last night, she didn't wanna have the fellowship last night because she just didn't wanna to turn into a Kenya and Neney situation where it turned to a whole big argument. Basically, I think reading between the lines, she just didn't want it to become like a reality show moment.

Even though, of course, that's what it's destined to always be. Yes. Or maybe reading between the lines even further, she wanted to have a moment where she was just like crying, like the crying divorcee going through pain and didn't want to turn it into a Kenya and Neenie fight, she wanted to be a Kenya moment alone. Yeah, she's basically like, look, let's split up our scenes. I've got a lot of season, okay?

I get to cry for an episode and then Neenie can call me a stupid slut in the next. There's also, I mean, technically there's also the uncinnacle view Which is that she literally just filed for divorce the day before and the last thing she wants to do is get into a giant fighting match with Neenie because she knows it's gonna happen. So there's that there's that view too. Yeah So she's like yeah, fuck Neenie I'm not buying this. Yeah, I'm not buying this like Neenie just wants to be nice to me crap I'm not buying this. Yeah, I'm not buying this like me and you just want to be nice to me crap Which is proper if that's this correct and I don't say Kenya's correct very often. This one. Yeah, she's she's dead right so Cynthia is

They put down a taking photos at the beach and she's like is this the Angel and see Yeah, all right, and then like a then like a sheet walk you branded the fucking see Yeah, oh I see Welcome to the city of chill fans. Yes So anyway a sheep walks up to them, but it turns out it's actually just an old man covered in very white Woolie hair all over his body and he takes photos of them. So I was Lebanese. It's like my future walked up to those ladies on that beach.

I was like, look at God old Ronnie, looking good, buddy. It definitely looked like the cloud that that goes after Mario and Super Mario brothers with a lot of two on top throwing spikies. I was like, where is, I was like ducking out, since things have just like ducking ducking under the coffee table like, no, he's got those spikies at us all. Yes. And then the cats of Greece, of course, are trying to do their job and ward off evil spirits by surrounding me and at all times. The cats everywhere needy goes. The cats are just like, get out evil spirits, get out, say to them how they really are. They're really trying so hard. So the women head off on today's adventure,

which none of them seem to realize is going to be going to eat a meal 200 feet in the air. So they get into the, they all hop into the van. And of course, as soon as they get into the van, Tanya's like, oh, oh, oh take they asked this old guy to take their picture, right? Then they don't just pose for the picture and say thank you. They actually walk into the sea Pose themselves like in the middle of the ocean. What the hell are you doing? Could you let this man off of off of work for Christ? He's like this back waxing appointment. Let the man be He has a shearing appointment in three minutes. Come on. He's about to be totally overcome. Oh, so yeah, they get on the bus and Candy is going to take them all to this restaurant on a crane. Hundreds of feet up in the air. Yeah. And then, you know,

they're talking Candy announces that she's going to be having a baby shower in October. I'm assuming that will probably be the season finale, but I could be wrong. And then they start talking about, you know, because it's a baby shower, they're talking about the surrogate and stuff. And they're asking Candy if she's going to stay in contact with the surrogate. Because most people, I think, don't, it's like once the baby's born, it's like goodbye surrogate, because you don't want any sort of complicated Relationship but Candie's response is more like actually I was thinking about hiring her Because my response needs a manager Yeah, the girl gets things done on time so far so I

Can feel like this is not I don't I don't because she's candy-basis like Really like shitty. And then we see like a flashback of Candy bringing Shadina to some event. And Porsche's like, oh, see all the cousins. Everyone's like, uh, that's the baby in there, Porsche.

Yeah, I like that they're respecting the surrogate. And she's like, yeah, she's gonna be, you know, she's, she's been nothing but good to us. So they're gonna take in the, and Shadina to see the candy factory. I mean, I think it's very nice. And I think that one thing that I love about candy

is it seems like she does pay it forward with people. But I just can see that like having the woman who cared your baby now is also on your payroll in terms of, I guess she's on the payroll already. But like working in a managerial position, I can just see that getting a little lot of weird gray areas popping up. I'm just concerned about the candy factor, okay? Just the one any issues for Dawn? What? Not me, she'll put Dawn on right in this place. So be like, excuse me, I built this child inside of me. So good you're back down, bitch. Thanks.

of me so good you're back down bitch thanks so then someone asks Cynthia if she wants to have kids with Mike oh god oh yes yes of course of course you know I can stop a baby I still get my period every two months or so it's a regular but I haven't got one about two two to six months but regular but I haven't got one about two two to six months but God that's really hot and greased this time of year right. And Neenie's like uh where her I got. Where I got. I think that Cynthia and Joe Gorgah should I'm into that. I'm into that fanfic. So raining, it's raining, they get to the restaurant and of course Neenie tries to start doing this freaking out thing but everyone just ignores her, so she kind of drops it. Yeah. Yeah, well Portia's like, is that a cream? No, ma'am. No ma'am. It did look a little sketchy from the outside. It did look like they said at one point,

I think this Porsche who's like, I've never even had a construction site before because that's what it looked like. It looked like a random crane. Like one of those strange carnivals you drive by that you think, surely no one goes that, right? Like that's per all the, that's, I mean, forget about coronavirus.

This is where all the danger is here. I've been talking about mortality rate. It's this carnival, but that was where they were eating. Yep. And, you know, basically they strap in like they're on a roller coaster or something and they get lifted up to have this dinner. And then Cynthia's like, wow, this is a, oh, this is a, I'll taste it. I'll taste it.

Mmm, top shelf, top shelf, this rosé, this top shelf. And Kenya's like, but it's scudon though. Are you short about that? Are you short about that? Ha! Which is funny because I actually have heard that scudon tops, first of all, I don't think it makes it,

I don't think it indicates anything either way. But if anything, I've heard that it's better for the wine. I think I heard that somewhere. I don't know. I mean, I could be employed at the Bayley wine cellar at this point. But I mean, it's definitely better for like Simone on below deck. That's for sure. But that's that's as much expertise as I have on the matter. All I know is that there is a school of thought that says screw tops are actually preserved the wine a lot better than the cork. I don't know, but when I was waiting tables we had a very nice bottle of wine. What was very expensive and it was screw on. Sit there.

Okay. So Marla's like, this was the closest to having these girls are gonna get. And Tony goes, no you didn't. And then, Jan, just like, look over there! And then it's like the... Roar! Yes, I don't remember if it's the pantheon or the... It's the acropolis, sir. Acropolis, right.

I said or the acropolis, I got it in there. I can't remember, I can't remember which ruin is where, sometimes. But anyway, it was acropolis. Full view, and they were very excited. And they was like, oh, like some poor person down on, like 200 people, though, just got like a plate, just like throwing at their head.

I mean, he's trying to be like, oh, I can't. I never would just ignore it, sir. And so she, you know, she drops it. And then they get food, and me and he gets a grape leaf. And she goes, what is this? And then Cynthia's like yes, yes, this wine. This wine is excellent. And then Kenya comes in for a wine attack. Yeah, she's like so why do you think about this? Ha and Cynthia's like, hmm child. It's not too sweet, but there is a

foodie effervescence reminds me of jail, huh? And Kenya's like, oh, what would you bet? What would you want to pair this with? And she's like, um, chicken nor seafood. Even though the rosé might overpower the shrimp and the seafood, huh? She's like, well, I personally prefer the rosé. And Kenya's like, so when you choose your wine, you just ignore the meal.

You're about to eat. And then dinner is served and she's like, so we order another wine. Yeah. And Porsche has like whisper into, Porsche has helps Cynthia out. She's like, just say that you rather allow a residue with a red meat. I mean like, wow, if Porsche is having to give you a little help there Cynthia, this doesn't look good. Yeah. And so can you can you see that she's like, I don't know that I would listen to porches and fires. I mean, how many red wines are there, Cynthia?

And she's like, there are several red wines. The world. She's like, it's like, okay, well, how about you name four types of red wine then? And Cynthia's like, uh, how many variations How many selling it yours? Well, you know shows how many variations and Kenny's like No, Tony how many are you selling it your little spot and everyone's like She's an asshole and I guess she's mad that Cynthia has kind of made up with Nini.

So this is her revenge. Maybe I'll get them to talk or whatever. So this is her being mad. Yeah. And then Nini is getting mad because Cynthia called Nini a toxic friend. But then like, here is Kenya coming for her. I mean, I still stand pretty solidly behind Cynthia calling Nenea toxic friend.

Nenea is the most toxic friend. I mean, not that she's not. Bleach being toxic doesn't make lice all not toxic. You know what I mean? Exactly, they both can be multiple toxic things in the world at one time. And mammothoxic, okay. Yeah, Cynthia likes, Cynthia's actually really good

about latching onto to Toxic People. She should do a deep dive on that. Maybe she should do a companion piece to go with Open Mike. About why she likes Toxic People. Oh god. And then I cheated on another Toxic person with another Toxic person. Uh, some are like, please don't get read anymore, Cynthia. It makes me feel bad for you. It's like, no, no, it's fine. The read only has power if you bind the read. Purchase like, no, you were read.

Yeah, you were read. Yeah. So then they, they're dinner table, lands back on the ground. And in his like, thank God I can mark this off whatever invisible list it got on. This was stupid. I don't totally understand the thrill of,

I don't understand the point thrill of, I don't understand the point of eating 200 feet in the air myself, although the food looks surprisingly very good. Yeah, and you see the whole city around you. Yeah, I mean, when the acropolis, when the acropolis, you know, appeared as like, okay, I get it because now you can see the acropolis. So that's cool. Yeah, but, um, so then in the van, back in in the van they're all going shopping at the market and Tania is still like does anyone know how to say hello

We said yes Oh And you have to snap like this She loves those like two syllable Greek words She loves those like two syllable Greek words, right? Yesssssso obaaah! And Marla just looks it up on her phone and she goes, Oh, actually, it's Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss It's time for a... Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So they're not we're at the market and Tonya's just so Tonya she's like They are like basically they just even though they are celebrities here They just turn into full on basic tourists over there They just like they're buying all the chachk. They are like, Porsche is leaning up on a ruin, you know, and Kenya's like, get off that. You're disrespecting other cultures.

Porsche's just like, you know, doing something for the gram on like an old pillar. I don't even know how she got down there, but she's doing it. Reading craps, they're having a rich time. Yeah, and then what are they doing? They're like posing for pictures on something and Kenya yells at them.

She's like, You are being disrespectful of their culture. Yeah, that's what I was just describing. Oh, you were, I'm sorry, I was lost in my notes. I was reading along while you were talking. I'm so sorry. I'm like, and then she's leaning up on a pillar. And Kenya's like, don't be disrespectful to other cultures. And I was like, how do they get down there?

And you're like, I know. I'm so sorry. And then she's leaning up on a column. And what was that? What was she doing? She's leaning up on a column. What was that scene about? Well, I'm sorry.

This is called a marriage story on Netflix. Okay. It's like, it's our version of a marriage story. How could you not listen to me? I was scrolling through my notes because I got lost. No, I had to address it, because I knew people listening would be like, what's going on?

Yeah. Sorry. So basically, the point of the story is that really nothing is happening in some montage of them walking around Athens and having fun times. And then they finally go into a restaurant where they get to smash plates at long last,

which I don't know about you. It takes every time I see scenes of people smashing plates, Greek style. It takes me back to an episode of Three's Company when Jack Tripper had a bunch of Greek people in his restaurant. Do you remember that episode? And I think he, all I remember about it was that he, I think he, he like really, his restaurant was struggling and he needed like a big payday. And so all these Greeks came in and he was so excited, but think he, he like really, his restaurant was struggling and he needed like a big payday. And so all these Greeks came in and he was so excited, but they broke so

many plates that he wound up back like in dead again. I missed you. I really heard the noise outside and thought they were having sex together. Anyways, oh, oh, oh, but for real now. Yeah, so they get to smash a bunch of plates and they have to say something that they're very passionate about while they smash plates. And Porsche is like, motherhood. And Marlowe's like, I don't know what she says.

I think she says something about money or something. And candy is like, yeah, it can't just like, my children. Which is kind of just funny. I don't know what, it's not funny to be a passionate parent and be passionate about. I just feel like when I say the phrase something I'm passionate about, I think about like a hobby or a like or a desire.

So when someone says something like, I'm passionate about my children, for some reason it's funny to me. I can't describe it. I get it. I get you to your child. Of course you can be passionate, but just yell like, I'm passionate about my children. Yeah, I'm passionate about pizza rolls. That's like my favorite thing. I was kind of the same way. Like, why does everyone with a kid have to say their kid? I just go like that. There's something else. There's other things in the world. Okay, get a hobby. I just feel like that's like everyone should everyone should be passionate about their kids like I would have been more impressive

Candy said I'm passionate about biking or I'm passionate about Refurbishing my banisters or something but like children seemed easy and it just felt like it felt like It just hit me in a weird way. Yeah, they were all real easy answers. Neenie didn't even mention her kids She's the only one who didn't say her kids. She was like Happiness Neenie not even trying And then more shopping more shopping can you tell sports that is not gonna fit your ass And for she goes yeah, we need to go to that minus side section

Yeah, and then for us to start negotiating to get like a basically a free shirt or something It's just like okay. I want this one and I like that one for free. Please And then it is like what she's like I have an Instagram following a five million people, so let me have that for free. It's like, wow, I'm sure all the five million people are going to now fly all the way to Athens because they heard of one Chachki stall. Yeah, at the store it left to the left of the wooden dicks. I know, pay the poor lady the $25.

I mean, I don't know much about Greeks economy, but I feel like anytime I read a headline, it's always like Greeks economies and shambles again. Let me give the woman $25. And Kenya's walking, where I'm going? Where is Cynthia? This place might have blonde. Where is she?

Where is Cynthia? And in another corner of the market, Tanya finds evil eye jewelry, which is very real housewives of Orange County. Very, very, very, very. Yeah, it's very, um, tamer. A show tamer Barney trunk show. Uh, yeah, tamer Barney.

Get it. Did she give the evil eye or she got the evil eye? I think she got it from. Right. Got a hat. She got a hat that evil eye and then like I got back to Gretchen, but it was, it was, it was like I it was like one of the nadir seasons it was I think it was like the peggy tennis season yeah so um the evil eye they learned

about it and it protects you against shade and she's like maybe we should get one for a Cynthia taking out a table of cramps of bars. That's what that's all. Okay. What did you say, asshole, asshole? It said sassu, sassu, because I couldn't remember it. Tassass. Tassass. Tassass. Tassass.

So, yeah. So anyway, Kenya is like trying to get Cynthia to buy some Greek wine. And then a producer just totally comes for Kenya. The producers like, so you flipped out on Tanya about the wig. So why are you pressing Cynthia so hard publicly about her wine knowledge? And Kenya's like, um, those are two totally different things. Like, I don't have to re-explain it. Like, think whatever you want to think.

You know what I'm doing is. Yeah, shut up. You average writing these questions. You know what, if this is what it's going to be, I'm going to block away. Why should you not have to answer those questions? That was pure shade. And you didn't only make little comments. You said that she didn't know what she was doing.

And you wouldn't only work in businesses that you know, something about unlike her. So shut up. Can you answer the question? She eventually says that she was just having fun with her sis. And, you know, and Cynthia should know what wines are about. If she doesn't, then. Answer the fucking question. She eventually says that she was having fun with her sis and you know, and Cynthia should know what wine is about if she doesn't, then they can teach her, you know, so what, what's the big deal? I'm like, mm-hmm. Yeah, very supportive.

So, then the van goes back to the hotel and Tanya and Porsar hanging out and then they go hang out with Cynthia and give it to Talk.. So we got you a praaa-see-ya! It's an OBA! Like Tania doesn't work when you throw a necklace on the ground. OBA! I'm passionate about OBA! She's just knocking over that like free standing closet in the middle of the room. They're, what are you doing? OBA! She's been banned from so many CB2s at this point.

She's like, I'm sorry, I can't control myself. I went to Greece, I've never ridden the same. Opa! I'm sorry, ma'am. We're gonna have to ask you to pay for that and also leave. Ma'am, you cannot come back into the barns and noble. You've been throwing books at the wall. Opa!

Ma'am, I'm sorry. This is a respected seafood restaurant. And just because you see Opa on the menu, does not mean it's the same as you yelling about plates So they tell her about the evil eye and Porsche is like is the word of anything negative and Cynthia's like this is the sweetest thing Anyone has ever done for me Why don't you get me this before I met Peter? Why? Why? And Tanya's like, well, basically, we're

doing a big house Kenya. And Portia's like, yeah, that was not a good look for my friend's business. And Kenya's the most sensitive about her brand. And so why would you want to make it known that Cynthia knows absolutely nothing about the wine industry, like zero? Why would you want people to know that Cynthia knows absolutely nothing about the wine industry like zero. Why would she want people to know that Cynthia knows absolutely nothing. She doesn't even know what wine is.

She thought she was opening a soda shop. I mean, you might as well put up a billboard that says Cynthia knows nothing about wine and Cynthia could then maybe see that she knows nothing about wine and then get mad at Kenya for announcing that she knows nothing about wine and then get married, Kenya, for announcing that she knows nothing about wine. Yeah, and Cynthia's like, listen, that wasn't a read. You know, I wasn't bad, I love red, red wine. And speaking of red wine, my favorite kind of red wine is Pinocchio.

No, stop talking, stop. Well, like I always said, the most treasured wine in my cellar is Mena Shevets. Mena Shevets, a wine for... no? Well, my most popular wine at the cellar is Tricoco. Well, one of our most prized wines, one of our special things that really, really only for a delicat palette, it comes from a very special winery called Boone's Farms. Boone's Farms Wine, very special.

Better toast. It's not even a liquid, Cynthia. Red wine vinegar. We said lots of red wine vinegar. It's useful. So Cynthia's like, well, you know, I get her sense of humor and if she's being shady, you know, I don't realize it because I don't have my shade to take to Apple. And Porsche is like, well, I would end it by letting everyone know that my friend has the best wine and the

business. I said, well, that didn't happen. And I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. But unfortunately, I'm on chapter 97 of all the women that Max fucked before, so I'm really open-mic. And there's a lot more going on in here than I ever thought. I mean, you want to talk about varietals. Wow, look at all the women he's fucked, so. Um, anyway, I'm gonna go burn up on my wives, and we're watching my DVD copy of, uh, forwards. Oh, it's called Sideways. You don't even know the names of the wine movies.

I like the first it goes. That would be like if you said, I use Kenya more edges and look, my edges are still gone. And she's like, okay, well tell me another example of someone being shady. You ask. Yeah. Well, she's basically saying, you can't make a single joke. Like with Kenya, you can't make a single joke. Like with Kenya, you can't make a single fleeting joke about Kenya more here.

You can even say that and she'll just like, yell at you, you know, yeah. I thought she was fucking with Cynthia about her edges. No, no, no, no. She was saying how like it's so hypocritical that Kenya can like poke, poke Cynthia over and over again, but you can't even do it once to Kenya.

Yeah. Well, you know, but that's more of a Cynthia issue than a Kenya issue, if you ask me. Yeah. Um, so then Porsche is like, well, you know, you just, you had a relationship with Mimi and it didn't feel wholehearted with you. So don't let the same thing happen with Kenya. You have to treat teach people how to treat you. And she's like, well, it's a standard moment for Kenya, so I'm going to give her a pass.

Yeah. She goes, but what I'm not going to do is let Kenya be purposely mean or disrespectful. I'm like, oh well. Good luck with that. You haven't stopped her so far. Totally fine if it's accidental. Mean and disrespectful. So then cats and by the pool.

A lot of great, a lot of great cat footage from me. Cat B-Roll was on fleek as college witches used to love to say. So then it's the next morning and everyone's waking up. Porsche is making a batch of amazing looking scrambled eggs. I don't know if anyone caught that, but they looked wonderful. And then the big plan for today is that they're going to to Vineyard. They're gonna go to a Greek Vineyard, and they're all sort of like assembling, and everyone is sort of wearing flowy, light flowy things, and Candy comes in, she's like, oh see? No, no, I didn't know. We were wearing flowy things fancy flowy things and we see she's wearing these like crazy tassely

fringy pants Which we're like fasting to look at that's also like why are you wearing that to go wine day? Stay we'll look at Marlo Marlo's like up in the club Can he say Marlo is totally dressed to go to the club? She's like a crazy. She's dressed crazy So then I was thinking like, do you think God gets mad that people can't get off there? Is he like a human where he's like, can you get off your phone for two seconds to talk to me? Like Marlowe's in bed scrolling through her phone and she goes, give God the glory and praise for waking me up this morning.

It's like Jesus, you talked to me two seconds a day, put your phone down. Wow, you're making God sound like Damien from from love is blind. Well, yeah, he can be bitchy God. Okay, so they go, Cynthia's, well, Kenya is being really nice first of all. And but Cynthia's like, well, I have to brace it to back the haters. So how can you hate her, Kenya? And so they're in the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We found an old man you'd like and then Cynthia does her laugh, which I'm surprised after all these years We've never commented on Cynthia's laugh because Cynthia's like they're chill. She talks like this But then her laugh is like Papa. She's like Every time she laughs Like have you ever noticed that it's

Listen next time she laughs. It's like really cute, but every time she laughs, she's like, oh, oh child. Gugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugugug It's like a weird I probably am not doing it really. I'm not doing her or pop-i justice His pop-i's I'm like gg but Listen, she's got like a little bit of a pop-i laugh It's from pop-i the movie. Thank you very much. That was Oliver's song. Thank you. I thought for a moment you were viewing into some light Carly Rae Jepson

territory and I got excited. Carly Rae better leave all of all of oil the fuck alone. Oh, you know that Carly Rae Jepson will be playing olive oil in the next, you know, Fox live musical. As olive oil, it's Carly Rae Jepson. I will be furious. I'm already furious. Leave Shelley to follow on. Yeah, she's gone through enough. I movie terrified me as a child. What was the scary movie? It was scary film. The tentacles, the tentacles and Robert Altman directed it. Nothing makes sense. I know. And you know that the times like this, we need to ask ourselves, how did pop

I get made? Yeah. Well, you know that the set for pop-up which I believe was filmed in Malta has the set has stayed up and it's become a big tourist attraction. I think there's like a shopping destination around it but basically the pop-up is that it's like a thing to do in Malta. Well there you go. So enjoy that Carly Rae Jepsen. Yeah, suck it Carly Rae. Yeah. that Carly Rae Jepson. Yeah, suck it Carly Rae. Yeah. Um, so they're talking about old man and Tania's like, okay, why don't you please subscribe to us so we can be on the lookout for him.

What kind of man you want and don't say anything about money or what he can do for you. Oh, but. And he'll be rich and do everything for me. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, oh my god, you're talking about money. be rich and do everything for me. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, oh my God, you're talking about money. Yeah, basically, like, Marlow has like a financial cutoff, right?

What was it? What was it? Was it like a, the ESF a million or something in the bank when she meets them? Something like that, because then Candy started talking about Todd. And she's saying how when she met Todd, Todd only had like $100,000, which I still don't even

believe, to be honest, because he was like a PA. And she was like how when she met Todd, Todd only had like $100,000, which I still don't even believe it's to be honest, because he was like a PA. And she was like, but she saw someone who was smart and ambitious and a really go-getter and she knew that together they could make millions or rather candy could make millions and Todd could fritter it away on trucks and random breakfasts,

but off some of her businesses. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, he's smart and he hasn't been shit and Porsche goes, come on lemonade. Come on lemonade. Oh, Porsche, my hero. Yeah. So Marla's like, well, I'm looking for more and more important things now.

Like, no, I just want to partner. A partner that's not broke, okay? Because listen, I'm gonna fuck you, I'm gonna suck you dick good on holidays. Yeah. Which holidays we talking about, does Arbor Day account? So. Talk for a couple of days.

Hmm. So what does Nene think matters the most in relationships? So now, they keep on deferring to Nene, like that she has just this fabulous, fabulous marriage. And you know, they keep saying, well, she's been married to longest. I'm like, except that they got divorced in the middle of it, by the way, don't forget.

And isn't Greg current, isn't there a current issue with Greg at the moment with talking to some girls? Yes, well, that's really, the blog's been saying, good ol' Sashon Medea, the bitchiest housewife of them all has been saying that they have an open relationship and that they cheat on each other all the time. But the Greg was going after some lady that works for Neenie. She worked as like a manager or like a regional manager of the swag stores or something. And Neenie had a fit and fired the lady and made all of her employees sign up NDA. Yeah. So I guess that's coming up soon. NGA, non-Greg. I don't know how to know the rest of it.

Non-Greg. NDA, but non- But non disclosure agreement, non-Greg agreement. Yeah. Oh, I'm like, what's the A-stand for again? I forget. Wow, this quarantine is really taking it all. Yeah, and it kind of makes sense because the way that Nini is talking, you know, giving her big marriage advice, Porsche is like, well, when it's broken, how do you fix it? Because the trust is broken in.

And Nini's like, well, listen, you know, people fall into situations They shouldn't and just because of mad cheese doesn't mean he's a bad man, okay? You know you go through these things But you still need to show up show your ass back home and I bring my ass back home to you know mm-hmm So it's fish. It's very fishy. What's going on? Oh a fish like an oh So anyway, oh Sorry, yeah anyway, so they arrive at the vineyard and Marlo is in like Toledo boots up like running all the way up her leg for this vineyard trip and

Here's Ted a wine rider That's right. So he starts talking about, you know, this is the cradle of wine making, you know, Dionysus and all that shit. Which is kind of funny, I was, this is funny, to probably only me. But like, there is such a history with like Greek myths and stuff about Dionysus and wine and wine and wine.

Everything's about wine. There's like a Greek god of wine and all that stuff. And why is it that, when we think about like wines of the world, I feel like we think about France, New Zealand, California, Italy. Why do we not really, why does our mind not really go to, or South Africa even at this point, but why do we not think about Greece, Ronnie, when it's like has such a story history with wine?

Because you can be famous for one thing. It's like Lorna left, you know, Liza's sister. She's perfectly talented, but there's also like Liza and Judy Garland in the same family. So poor Lorna left is like, no, anyone wants to hear her sing karaoke, you know, it's like Jeff and Bob Bridges. Yeah. And Greece has, you know, wine, sure, but they also have pita bread and hummus. So, I'm fed a cheese.

Like, who the fuck cares about wine? Okay, I'm eating. I don't know. I don't know if that argument really tracked when you talk about France because France has croissants and baguettes and cheese. Yeah, but France isn't about like, let's eat. They're like, let us eat a bite. You know, like that.

Remember that opera, that lady on Oprah, have French women eat. Yeah, gone off on her for years. Like I will never let it go. I hate that woman. So furious with her. Like, eat like a French woman. You eat a bite and you are fooled.

I'm like, fuck off lady. So France is like that. They're like, oh, you enjoy food and moderation. It's like fuck you. So I'm sure they have a lot of cream and butter. Great, good for you. But yeah, in Greek, you know, in Greece, they're like, oh, you enjoy food and moderation. It's like fuck you. So I'm sure they have a lot of cream and butter. Great, good for you. But yeah, in Greek, you know, in Greece, they're like, eat! Okay, well, that's good.

I think it's a great theory. Thank you. So the women have arrived at this vineyard, and they're with this rider. And Porsche is like, wow, we should introduce you because our good friend Cynthia has opened up a winery. And Cynthia's like, it's a one seller, one seller, not a winery. Basically just a room in the next two fantastic Sam's, that sells some rosé.

Yeah, she's like, yeah, it's an experience. It's an experience. It's like a 4D Shrek experience. Like what is it? Experience. You go and drink some wine. By the way, next time we go to Atlanta, I'm totally going to Cynthia Bailey wine seller, by the way.

Okay, have fun. So then, Porsche is like, I'm going to uplift her. Because she's bomb and she was bomb done yesterday. And more or less like, do you have wine crackers? And salami. Like, did she have wine crackers? And salami. So, like did she do her trip? Did she do her like wine tasting a tritur joke? I don't know.

She's, so they, he teaches them how to taste the wine and how to do it and swirl it and all that. And he's like, and then you can spit or swallow. And Tani's like, oh, I have a preference. Oh, I'm always swallowing. Oh, I always swallowing. Oh, I'm a preference. Oh, I always swallah. Oh, I'm a mouth. And Ken's all furious.

So Cynthia is like, what makes a bottle of wine more expensive? The ear, and he's like, the ear and the myth. She goes to the myth, like, I say, about to some grease. It's like, no, that's literally something that's happening Yeah, I About this $5 bottle of wine Greece, but you can have it for premium of $300 the myth So Marla's like you know it'd be good you get a picture bottle of put a picture of me on it. I think that would be great branding be good. You get a picture bottle of, put a picture of me on it. I think that would be great branding. And it's just like, yeah, we'll, we'll say that's for some of our higher and

models. Yeah. The wine that will only swallow you back on your birthday. So they walk out to the patio to talk and Portia Nini split off to talk, Portia pulls Nini aside and Tania's like, oh what should we take with Lano? And Kenya says, oh I'd like to buy one in each of what we tasted for my friend. So, um, then Cynthia's like, wow, child, this evil I bristed is the real deal Lord alphaz I know I'm sorry everyone I'm gonna go back and listen and be like that doesn't sound anything like her But I swear to God she laughs like that. I swear I'm not I'm not denying you. I just can't believe I've never noticed that I mean what the hell

I just can't believe I've never noticed that I mean what the hell So portion nini's big talk that we've seen in the previews all year with porcages Yeah, so she um actually I was kind of impressed with this conversation Yeah, it's actually was a good talk and nini But shut the fuck up and apologized which yeah Bring me like a normal person and I was like fuck. I'm like Neenie again I hate that I hate when I like Neenie because then I get so burned I'm like I refuse I refuse to like Neenie, but she was like like a normal person listening to her friend But then you know, I was trying to remember I was like what did they what would they find anybody again anyway?

And I met and then they showed a flashbacks that it was the closet fight and I was like, okay, that was ridiculous because Neenie I Neenie's whole thing was that She was mad not just that Porsche went in the closet, but that Porsche said like Come scared, right? That was the whole thing that she was mad at right right? That there was some issue with the belt, right? Yes.

And that was, sort of, she was scared and insinuated that Nini was getting physical, which obviously she did. She didn't seem like Naka producer, or a break of producers, too. There's something. And yeah.

But she got mad that, sent that Portia was saying that she touched her. And she's like, oh, please, like I touched your back or something like that. And then that's why she's such a, like a DM or a text war or something. And NeNe was calling her like a big fat pig and stuff when she's pregnant.

You know NeNe, always good to see. Yeah, because I think that, basically I think when, NeNe, I don't think was as mad after the incident happened, but I think when it played, when the show, when it played it back, when the show, when it played it back, when the show first aired, they, when Portia said,

I'm scared. They, it was like over blackness as if like she was like panicked in the closet. But what we've seen now significantly later, this season and maybe even during the reunion, was that Portia was taking her mic off and was with producers and saying like, get me out of here, I'm scared.

She was joking, like you could see, she was just like being joky and she wasn't really scared like that. And so they definitely did make it. The producers made it seem way darker than it was. But either way, seeing this remind me, oh that's right. Nini was mad about this situation about Portia saying I'm scared or whatever that she assaulted her and then was a total nightmare at the reunion and then got into it over Text afterwards. I was like that's right. I forgot. Neenie was being heinous during this time. Of course. Yeah, of course. Yeah, she was terrible. So then Portia's like, okay, look, I know that we've been on the outs, but here's why I was sensitive. I was pregnant.

I have this baby. It was really hard. I have postpartum depression. I'm trying to breastfeed the baby with one hand and then I'm texting you and another and you're calling me fat and all this. And it was just like this terrible time and I had to put down the baby to text you back. And she's like, I took my baby was right here. My titty was it. I had to take my titty out of the baby's mouth, but the baby down and go online and post it. Yeah. Oh, she's like, that was, it was just bad, you know, and then you didn't seem to even care. And then I was like, fuck this then. I like go of it. And he needs just nodding, which is crazy. I can't believe Neenie doesn't jump in with how poor she did everything to

her, you know, which is her normal way. And poor just like, you know, that hurt me the most because we were supposed to be the best friends, you know. And Nini covers her face and starts crying. I was like, what is this? Why is Nini being a real person? You can't just be a real person all of a sudden. Well, maybe she knows she's about to go into war with Kenya.

So she's like, okay, I can't fight a war on two fronts. Well, and that's true. And she's been trying to get everyone on her side so she can shoot the damn show because it's been hard for her to shoot with nobody to shoot with and So obviously she's trying to do it for that but that she came in with that amount of I don't know. I know and then it was weird. It was weird and strange and you know She actually says I'm sorry and then you know and then there she says that she loves

basically being a big sister for Portia. And then she also says like, you know what? Like last year when Greg had cancer, no one realized how hard that was for me. And last year was the hardest time of my life, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I get that. And in fact, we had, I think, an extraordinary large amount of sympathy for her for most of last season because what we saw her going through real shit and we actually enjoyed that she, not enjoyed, but we appreciated that she was letting us into that and being really kind of vulnerable

in the beginning of the season. But then by the end of the season, once you kept on saying over and over again, like, you know, what about me? What about me? What about me? And Greg is literally going through chemo and stuff like that. It just kind of got old. Yeah.

And so basically they make up. And they hug and, you know, cry, they cry with each other and hug and Porsche. The guy makes you so much. I can't, I've been really hard without you. And she says, sorry. And then Neenie is like, you have to give me some eyelashes, do a little bitch. So Porsche takes off her eyelashes. And Nini is like, no, I don't like

those creepy crawlers. They're both taking out their eyelashes. So now they go off to dinner, the whole group goes off to dinner. And they're at this restaurant, this outdoor restaurant. And there's like all these cats that are circling around. And Neenie hates cats, and she just keeps on yelling at them. I go away, get out of here, go away. Just losing your mind. So, we're saying Tanya talk, and they decide, well, first of all, Tanya's like, you have something on your shoulder,

and she's like, oh, that's me in these face. And then Tanya is immediately tied sticking her. I don't know where. Yeah, to do that. Yeah. So it makes me like love Tania. She's like, oh, my God, tell me everything. And she literally says that while she has her tie stick out,

like, tell me everything. Why get rid of this stain? So she's like, oh, my God, what a great trip. We're all getting along. Oh, me. And Porsche's like, well, let's try and make everybody get along by having a party. Instead of having a burn party where we burn all our problems, we'll do a ruins party so we don't ruins our friendship.

I'm like, it's a little bit of a stretch. I was like, I think one of the things about ruins that makes them ruins is that they actually still exist and people actually now flock to them and preserve them because they're around. You know, okay, sure. Of course, sure. So now there's just cats everywhere. There's cats on the tables.

There's cats under the tables, there's cats on chairs, there's like, swindlers from the ceilings. There's even a dog that starts lingering around. And you know, it's just like, it's madness. James Corden's thirsty ass stumbling around in the back is cats, a lot of cats. So they decide that they're gonna have this party for everybody to get their talk, their talk out.

So Neenie is still screaming about cats when they come back to the table and Neenie's like there's too many cats I can't and we're all like because Neenie's feeding them Yeah Neenie's been feeding all the cats She keeps throwing pieces of meat and bread at them Fry she throws a french fry like a kitten Which is total this is a total that's Ne Nini's logic in a nutshell, right? Like she throws something at these animals that make the animals flock and then she gets

mad that they flocked. Yeah, and then she gets mad at them for, you know, being nice to her. Yeah, so Eva calls very exciting. Eva's having a baby. Don't know if you guys need that, but she's gonna have it today. Yeah, and then they announce that we're going to have this big party. Yeah. And Porsche is like, you get to take anything off of your chest, put it amongst the ruins. I don't be done. I never thought of ever again, except when we put ropes around

it and tourists come and take pictures of it day after day after day. And we'll always be remembered of what was once there. And Kenya is like, well, I don't understand why Porsche wants us to clear the air publicly when she and me need just clear the air privately. Well, then clear the air privately, Kenya, who stopping you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, it's it's not a terrible point, but your point is even better, and then

just do it privately. Yeah, she just doesn't want to be forced to have a scene with me, which I don't blame her. Yeah, but you're on a TV show. So Kenya's mad, like visibly mad. Neenie's like, oh, Kenya's not here for a portion of taking over her hostessing duties. Mm-hmm. So now they go back to the villa and they all change outfits, which makes me think that this was actually shot the next night, they they they don't change until like there are comfy clothes after a day of being out and about.

They are in full on fancy outfits and this is where Marlo is really dressed like she's going to the club. She's in like a like a like a little cocktail dress with blue sequins and they're all so dressed up for what's supposed to be like a wind down moment. So I think this was the next night. Well, they get set up for this thing and Porsche's got flowers and Dennis, which they're from Dennis, right? You know, it wasn't explicitly stated. It could have been from one of the cats, you never know. So you got the impossibly cheating on you right at this very moment, flowers. Yeah. And then they basically just get set up and

Let's see all the girls arrive and Porsche's like well We appreciate you guys giving us a break taking a break from hosting duties for a night and giving us a chance Because tonight we are putting things into the reliance. Okay, so Tanya's like this about positivity and the spirit of peace Everyone has a crown Oh Tanda you just do the crown crown on the ground and broke it. Oh You just killed the cat with the middle crown So uh, so candy takes she's like she's like I want to go first She takes the crown with the laurel or whatever it is and then she

She gives it to she give the other one to pour so she's she's like, I want to go first. She takes the crown or the laurel or whatever it is. And then she gives it to, she gives the other one to Porsche. She's like, okay. Tell us what you and Neenie were talking about. They're like, no, no, no, that's not how it works. But I don't know why they were being so secretive about their conversation, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, Porsche said what happened, you know. She's like, well, we got together, we worked out.

Okay, next. And can you is so pissed?. And Kenya is so pissed. Yeah. So, Cynthia then takes it, takes a crown and gives another one to Kenya. And she's like, child, I felt like initially we were joking around the other day about the Bailey wine cellar, but just kept going and going and going and going and going and going and going. Sort of like the list of Mike's tricks. Anyway, just felt like was it really a joke or am I the joke? I mean it's a question I have to ask all the men in my life, but still I ask it to you now. You're not a joke. It was me having fun. I am sorry. Your businesses speak for themselves, which ones are still around. You're a queen and my sister. And he needs just not buying any of this.

She's like, oh, really? Okay, so she's never gonna hold Kenya accountable for anything. And you're supposed to be good friend, Roond, your engagement. Oh, friends just make mistakes. Well, I don't recall her ever saying friends make mistakes with me.

It's like, really? She said that for how many years with you? Exactly. Walking about. Exactly. It's like really she said that for how many years with you exactly about exactly. So, um, so so now, so Nini is, um, Nini tells Cynthia, she's like, you know, if that were me, you would have gone harder. I guess we were, and we were closer than anyone in the circle. And Kenny is like, well, things change. And then he goes, yeah, things change because you wanted them to change because you're a big ass bully bitch. Which is also what Nini is.

Nini just helps. Nini's like, okay, we're fighting, that's it. Therefore, it's me to sit here and we're gonna have this fight, yeah, I have things to do. Yeah, Kenya's like, you just called me a bitch. What is this? She goes, what are you gonna say, what are you gonna say about? She's like, you want me to fight you? And then you need starts going, you're a negative betty. You're a negative betty. I was like a negative betty.

That doesn't even have a iteration to it. Negative betty. Negative betty. I'm sorry. You're like negative Nancy or something or blue betty. I don't know, but negative betty. Yeah. You're a melancholy Sharon.

Yeah. You are a, you're a melancholy Sharon. You are a rude, mapsy, right? You are an unhappy Celeste. You're a terrible Richard. You are a morose, Jordana. It's actually hard to not rhyme them.

I know. I'm like, I wanted to be like, you're a morose. Marina, I don't know. And then she starts screaming, you know, Boeing, Neenie leaks, because she's joking, you're ass. I'm like, what are you, what does she even say to you? What are you talking about? Neenie is now just in crazy mode, right? She's just screaming to scream,

and she's gonna scream whatever means that she can. And no one's more confused than candy who literally sings And he's like I'm done commenting now Okay, so since he's like I would like to give my crown to me and she's like I don't have anything to say take it off And can he's like well? You had plenty to say a minute ago. Is this the bipolar, Neenie? Yeah. Here we go.

Oh, who's more bipolar at me? Neenie or Ken? Yeah. Fight. Let's fight. I know because Neenie is like, I have nothing to say. And if you don't have a crown, you should be shutting the fuck up. Says the woman who just started the fight by talking out of crown order.

So yeah, Neenie is like, there's no one more bipolar than you. And Kenia is like, that's why you had to gravel, gravel and ask all the everyone to be friends with you again. Which you also had to do. These two is like the fight of the biggest hypocrites, right? Kenia didn't have to ask everyone to be her friend again. Kenia came back on this show and had to start trying to be nice to everybody to get into scenes again too. But Kenia had to go on an actual apology tour. Neenie and had to start being trying to be nice to everybody to get into scenes again too. But Ken, but Neenie had to go on an actual apology tour. Neenie really had to and so that, of course, Neenie is, she, Neenie just responds easily with, you know, well, that's why your husband left bitch because you're bipolar.

And she goes, Oh, I'm a bitch now. It's like, were you not here five seconds ago when she called you a bitch? Like, what the hell? And why is it so bad to call you a bitch when you call Tanya a C word? Like, yeah. And we need to go. Yeah, exactly the first time in your life.

And he needs like, Mark is twirling right out of this marriage. Him and his nose ring, by Mark. So yeah, they just start screaming bipolar at each other. And then Tanya squeal, stop! Tanya, who just started this whole thing. She's like, I need a plate to break this up. So Kanya's like, Nini, you can't even blink your eyes.

And Nini goes, bitch, I don't have anything on my eyes. It's like, what? Nini's like, too bad your husband don't like you. And she goes, and he'll like yours. And she's like, yeah, your husband doesn't like you. He was an attention whore. He didn't even like you. And she goes, Oh, you tired, kids, you're dry. Yeah, you're tired and your cat is dry while your husband's gone, bitch. Meanwhile, Portia goes, this is exactly what we did not

want to happen. I'm like, it happens every time there's a fucking like, let's get it all out on the table party. And the mean he goes to the place that Neenie always goes just calling you ugly you know she's like and your titties are wrong and your booty is wrong getting new implants it's all wrong and then Neenie tells us she's like well I'm just gonna read her now every time I see her okay fit contacts okay blow up booty okay wig okay yeah so so Kenya, so the things, somehow they managed to like, swim her down for a second.

So Kenya gets her crown, she gives it to Tania and she's like, I just want to say thank you to Tania for being compassionate, you know, because like, you know, with everything you have, but you didn't have to be. And you know, thank you for not bringing up stuff that I'm dealing with now, you know, basically a dig at Nini.

Yeah, she's only apologizing to Tanya too, or being nice to Tanya to get back at Neenie. Yes, and Tanya's like, it doesn't just take it completely. She's like, well, I would like to genuinely thank you because that really hurt. And Ken is like, well, I'm a little disappointed that I don't get the same apology

because I was very hurt by what you did to me. Yeah, and Tanya's like, well I genuinely have to say that I didn't feel sorry because you brought this woman into the fame-poss character, but you know, uh, you know, but I bumped some sorry because, you know, like, well, it's just where I felt it went really too far as you know when you talk about you talk about how this hurts your business and what you said hurts spouses and things like that Em portion is doing the unequal scales of justice. She's like I didn't match didn't magic and you're like Porsche She's I'm sorry He didn't so now Porsche is gonna get it from Kenya and he's like a married woman wouldn't do that to another woman That's low. that's low.

Yeah. And he needs asked for popcorn, by the way, and all that she's like, ask me the popcorn. So, which is actually an important plot point. Yeah. Kenya is like, oh please, Neenie, you have done so many things and she goes, you just shut up before I fuck you up. And she's like, actually she's gonna throw

a popcorn at Kenya, but doesn't. Yeah. And she keeps doing it like the terrifying popcorn attack. That's about to come. Yeah, and Kenya's like, oh please, please, assault me with a peanut, please, please, even though it's popcorn. So the meaning gets on me.

He's pretend throwing them and stands up, but they're like holding her back while she's pretend throwing popcorn. What the hell? And then finally, she's like, you're a dumbass bitch and then should we see her like, throw the popcorn kernel or whatever it is or a popcorn, whatever, peanut kernel popcorn, who knows?

Because the screen goes black and says, SUBE continued. Can he go, please get a jail again? Oh, this show. So funny. So funny. So funny. Well, I encourage everyone to go listen to some of these laughs and back me up or maybe correct me.

If you don't, you don't even bother correcting me because in my mind, it always sounds like Popeye and that's just the way it will be. But that's it in my mind. Everyone, thank you so much. Come join us on Thursday night at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern. You know, they'll look up in your own time. So I'm sure you can figure out your own time, you know, from that.

And come join us on Instagram. We're still alive for our live show that we're going to do. Yeah. Real housewives of New Jersey. Yeah, it's going to be super fun. And next episode, we are talking Shaz of Sunset, which had a similarly explosive final act which I cannot wait to dive into. There's so much to say

there so we have that coming up and then later on this week keep an eye out for our Patreon bonus episode which will cover Love is Blind, the sensation that is taken over pre-coronaw America. So guys, stay safe, social distance, wash your hands, do all the stuff that you should be doing, don't be silly okay? Even though it's a very exciting night at YouTik tonight, don't go there, don't go there, stay inside. And we'll talk to you all later. Bye! Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.