Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Tea and Sympathy

Episode Date: January 9, 2018

The Real Housewives of Atlanta come together for PSA that's dangerously close to devolving into another Donkey Booty war. This week's bonus is a recap of Married to Medicine. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Kristi, why were you dourty? Kelly, rawr, Barlow! Our kind of mess, saying, just saying! Megan, you can't have a burger without the burger! And also our super premium sponsors! Our lucky little grand-topper, Kelly Grant!

And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother f***er. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to watch what crappin some podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yo Brows. I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, which is back and killing it darling. And here I am with my gorgeous little bestie Ben Mandelker of the Beside blog in the Banta Blinta, Halloween. Oh hi Ronnie, how are you? Doing so good, Ben, happy Monday, etc. Happy Drizly Monday. It's Drizling here in LA, which is the equivalent of, you know, a category three or four hurricane in LA. So this

is just, yeah, it's very exciting. It's the film geostorm happening here. You know, geostorm has happened the day after tomorrow has has arrived here in LA. There's a light drizzle. My succulents on the balcony are being threatened with being overwattered. People are like help the elderly help them get inside it's wrinkling. Mary McConnell is in a bunker somewhere looking at a computer display being like oh dear god dear god save us all. Mary McDonald she's like the last person alive in the in politics so she has to be the president. She's like

I never thought this would happen as Secretary of Education. Alfred Woodard is somewhere. Put your hand on a she's like met a homeless girl and she's taken her in and they've like found a unique bond that is larger than any storm could sever. And HBO's like, let's make this storm about music. make this storm about music. Yeah, there's a quartet somewhere like playing music on a patio of a restaurant being like, well, if this is it, let's go down together. Kathy Bates is floating by on a blowup dinghy. It's like one of those like inflatable unicorns. You see the pool parties. So that's where we're at today people. Yeah, that's that's where we're at. Welcome to the show. Welcome back. It's our first Monday back in a while,

a real housewives of Atlanta with us. But before we get right into that, come to our shows. We're going to be in the new town every month until 2019 people sometimes do a month. Okay. Yeah, maybe you can three sometimes. Yeah, Boston is coming up and Boston is not completely sold out. We added a new date there. So go check, I think people went and we're like 8 a.m. Why would I go to an 8 a.m. show? No, it's not really 8 a.m. It is 8 p.m. Okay, okay.

Oh my God, that's next week. I know, I'm freaking out. I can't believe it's this late. I just texted the dog walker like it's not too late Dog I'm sorry. I've lost electricity can't talk You guys yeah Boston people go buy those tickets, you know, we don't want to have we want to sell out that Boston show We want Boston to maintain a reputation of being one of our stellar cities that sells out. So the Boston people did an amazing job with our show on the 20th. They sold that

shit out in three hours. The 18th though still tickets available. So yeah, like so go Patriots nation TB 12. Oh, we forgot to mention our special guest is Tom Brady. So you guys, I guess you have to come Tom Brady. What's it like being hot and wearing a fanny pack at the same time? Tell me everything Would you like to sell to be on the real house? I was a Boston to to pilot that franchise. Oh, I'll never forget that because I never actually watch a super bowl But I was with you and your boyfriend and friends This was it just past time?

Super Bowl. Yeah. Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Yeah. And I was like, Tom Brady, where it's a Fanny Pack, I'm dying. Like that's what I took away from it. That's what I learned about football. Fanny Packs.

They're still okay. They all wear a Fanny Packs. They're not really Fanny Packs. Just think you put your hands into warm them up. Oh, well, thanks for ruining my life, Bean. Sorry. Sorry. You're only discussing this with the fantasy football champion of 2017 in my league. Also everybody, thanks for buying merch. Go get some more. We've got some more coming next month

I think we're gonna start doing some tote bags in there right now. We've got high glasses, wine glasses shirts and Maybe something else. I don't know. I, go to watch what crapens.com to find ticket links and merch links. Now for the real housewives of... Oh, you went... I was going to say, I just want to give a shout out. Very cool. Two different people, two different podcast listeners. Can you watch me this weekend in public? I want to give a shout out to... I'm trying to remember, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my memories a little overwhelmed. Okay. I believe it was Yasmina who is at the Apple store and was a Caitlyn at the restaurant. And so thank you for coming up. It's always like such a thrill to meet listeners in public. You know,

that's it's like a crazy surreal thing for us. And just thanks for saying hi. Thanks for making him feel famous every but they're listening. Yeah. Everybody want to give I just want to pay it forward, give a give a thanks back and a little shout out on the show. Pay it forward. You know, I'm gonna bring Helen Hunt into this. I will always bring Helen Hunt into it. It's possible. So always. Real housewives of Helen Hunt. Real housewives. Yes, Atlanta. Atlanta, real housewives of Atlanta.

We haven't talked about this show in a few weeks because of the break, et cetera, but it's back. And you know who else is back? Derek Belanx. He's like the resident photographer of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yes, he sure is back. And they're playing like clownish music. And can you go into this office? And there's a painting of a dude holding a gun to another guy's head. You know, it's art, so whatever. But it's just like, I want to spread the word on important issues.

Like you're standing in front of a picture with someone getting their head shot off. So, I don't know, maybe standing in a more sensitive part of the room. We're talking about very important things, ma'am. She's like, I want to talk about how we should all be anti-violence. It's like a gun to some guy's head. I always get concerned when Kenya decides that she's going to make a stance about something quote unquote important because you never really know what's important in Kenya's world. I mean, that you can be talking about garage windows is you're gonna be talking about, you know Donkey booties, but in this case it really was something important. Um, you know spousal abuse Leaving voicemails on your husband's phone instead of having a real relationship with him. Et cetera, et cetera

Et cetera. Yeah, et cetera. So she goes Derek is one of the foremost exceptional directors He's one of the foremost exceptional directors. He's one of the foremost exceptional fucking canya. So then we see clips of canya's like donkey booty video and then Nini stripping in 2009. I'm like yeah Derek's on it. He's? Derek for a while. Their Derek was popping up on every episode because Atlanta was in this was in a very strong photo shoot mode. In fact, all the housewives were like circa 2011 it became a thing that all the housewives were doing photo shoots at all times. And so Derek just became like every episode was like, so I decided to hire Derek Blanks. He is one of the four most

wonderful photo, photographical directors of Atlanta. And it was like every episode Derek blanks, she'll be like, okay, I'll take a picture of this bitch now. She's like, if I had one goal for the PSA, it would be for it to air on national TV. I'm like, you've got to love that can you can fame whore even with a PSA about domestic violence, you know? Yeah, and I love that it's going to become the new project fight. Yeah, well, yeah, so this is going to be interesting too because, unlike her other endeavors, this one is, she was smart. This one is sort of hard to, sort of hard to make fun of it because it's about spasal abuse. And it's very serious. It's like, ah, damn it. She got us. We can't make too many jokes about it. Otherwise, we'll look like Craven monsters

Yeah, but you still can't make jokes about Kenya because she's pretending to have like her production meeting a survey enters and she's like I wanted to be cinematic. It can't look like a rinky dink thing shot on an iPhone, okay? I'm like, yeah, like what do you want him to make the color purple right now? It's a PSA Kenya Well, I just like that she said What she said I can't look like a rinkening production that someone shot on an iPhone and then it cuts to Sheree walking in a Britney Spears wig I was like Hmm, I think you may have some Talent challenges. I know Sheree walks in like a cast member of Tamsa reen

Which was as a matter of fact shot on an icon on an iPhone was as a matter of fact, shot on an eye. Shot on an iPhone. There you go. And Kenya's like, did she come from Kim, so see X trash bin? I love that. Siree, where's a wig with roots? It's on.

Bray sort of. No, it's just like straight up circle of roots at the top. It looks weird. So Siree sits down and she doesn't like that Kenya has already arranged so many things. Because it's supposed to be a Kenya Moore and Sharay with Field project. And Sharay's like, you got storyboards?

You got storyboards? You got storyboards? Kenya says he wants to make sure we don't look cheesy hitting the points. Who's we? And Kenya said, well, I'm the executive producer she's like this supposed to be a co-production you shady asses the reason I'm you're shady asses the reason I talked about it in the first place because maybe you brought it up in the

parking lot and I didn't give Canyon an official yes but I'm here for the cause yeah I was like oh gosh please don't turn this into another Kenya versus Fadres situation over a domestic violence PSA. It's one thing when it was over a donkey booty video, but not over a domestic violence. Please don't let it go down this path. Have baseballs have hit you? You got a beast of baseball thoughts? You got a beast of baseballs?

So yeah, they're going to start a fight, I think, about. It looks like they're about to start like a PSA fight. so she's like can we talk with him there? Ken is like what spells are you gonna conjure up troublemaker? She's like what are you gonna trouble maker? Ken you goes aside from being talent what other jobs do you see yourself helping with it's not being executive producer? She's like well I'm not familiar with brilliant a production. So I want that experience. Okay, Shere. Just hand the whole production over to Shere. As she says, she has no experience.

Yeah, perfect for the job. Shere. So Ken, you're like, okay, you could be an intern. And she's like, you see all this? This would never be an intern. I'm like, okay, maybe crap services. Best boy, I don't know. Grip. Can you just say? You're calling Crap. I just wrote PSA fight. Yeah. So Mimi is at home.

She's like sondering around her kitchen with her flowing robes as usual. Marlow comes over. I was trying to work on my Neenie voice. I'm realizing that Neenie is the next final frontier for me because I don't really have a Neenie voice. I'm not sure if you have one. And I was like trying. And every single time I tried to do Neenie's voice, I felt like I was being a racist. I was like, everything that came out of my mouth just sounded so like it just didn't sound like Neenie. It just sounded like I was

just coming up with stereotypes. I was trying the boilerplate stereotype sound. Yeah, and I was like, I can't, I'm not try, I'll try, but please know that if I try to make a Nini voice and it sounds offensive, I apologize ahead of time. I'm not really trying to be offensive, I'm just trying to sound like her. And it's just, you know, my, I never know how my accents

are gonna come out, you know, you can try as best you can, but like, you know, my, I never know how my accents are gonna come out, you know, you can try as best you can, but like, you know, I don't think I have a lonely voice. I mean, it's been a long time, but I don't think I have one. She's a hard, she's a father. She's actually very hard to do. Yeah, well, guess who's not?

Marlow. Marlow. Yes, Jimmy Chuse. These boots are made for walking, baby. Yeah. these boots are made for walking, baby. Yeah. So Marlow comes over to visit Neemie and they're hanging out and they're talking about Kenya's PSA. And I guess Kenya has invited all of them to come over to to talk about, you know, to be part of the PSA and how Neemie is going to inevitably see Porsche there. Yes. They sit down at the table to talk and then he goes,

now look at yourself in that table. Then that's glass. You can see yourself. And Marla's like, Oh my God, look at you, your heart. I missed that. How did I miss that? It was so fast, what it was so funny. And that's also what I do in places like casinos or places with meard ceilings.

I'm like, everyone's ugly here. And then I look up and I'm like, finally a hot one. It's like when golem looks into a river and sees his alter ego. Does he master Bay? I never got to the so neat. Yeah, they're talking about the PSA and Marlos like, it's the PSA that she's not really married. But

and my even he's like, it's the PSA that she's not really married, but... And Marlowe's like, Marlowe's stopped that. Yeah, she's like, stop it, Marlowe. This is about domestic abuse. She's like, okay. Is the abuse that someone has to pretend to be married or... Uh, Marlowe. Marlowe, stop.

Don't you have to listen, don't you have to live in the same house to be considered domestic, booh, don't you have to live in the same house to be considered to Mastik, boo. What if you fly international? We're just Kristen playing Marlow right now. Kristen for better overall. Sarah's, well, Kristen's my like, seriously, Sarah's seeing Marlow's more like, seriously,

seriously. It's like more forceful. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Seriously, it's like more forceful someday someday someday So uh marla's like well, I want to have a party so that me you and Porsche can sit down And if you feel better we can invite Cynthia to and he needs just rolling her eyes and eating her Kirkland chips Yeah, she has you see in a very slow deliberate way like like a nutcracker I Like my displeasure will be shown by how deliberately I chomp on my cracker. I'm in my, I, I, jip. I mean, he's like, Marlow never have anybody over honey.

It must be crazy to have us all over. And Marlow's like, it's a tea party. I like that Marlow never has people over. That's kind of a funny. It's like me. It reminds me of me because I won't let anybody in my house because it's disgusting. Okay. It's dirty and disgusting. And I'd like to think that Marlow lives like that too. There's just like hamburger wrappers all over the place and like upturned Domino's boxes and you know, like, and the soda cans behind the couch. She probably just gets sick of having to enter in a million security codes, just unlock her door to let people in every single time. No kidding. She's got like a whole page of codes. Yeah.

So then we head over to Lake Bailey Child where Cynthia is, guess what? She's at home in the kitchen and Noel walks in and goes, hey, Mom, what are you doing? She's like, oh, you know, just doing my cooking my linguine, no, my linguine chop. Classic, you know, you mean he's like, look at me. I cook all the time. And there's Pam's dropping all over the floor. You've heard about my famous linguine chop. I call it my island, the guinea because I eat it on the kitchen.

I know. And Noel's wearing her sweetie Todd double buttons. She's like, let's make me, hi, his mom. So Cynthia's like, they have little thing, little talk like, you're my daughter, I love my daughter. She's like, you're my mom, I love my mom, ha ha, you're dating. Yeah, cause no else like, I just went to spin class

and it was so hard, I don't think you could do it mom. I'm because even though you look great, you're old, so ha ha ha ha. Shus could do it, mom, because even though you look great, you're old, so ha ha ha. So it's five times. Shes five, child. Lots of magic. No one this good ever made that my classic and we need before, child.

So we'll call us up. Link we need this, will, child. So yeah, we'll call us up and it's like, bruh bruh bruh bruh. We need to say what are you doing? And she literally is like, oh, you know, I'm making that link we need. You know, that link we need to talk. I'll send you enough with the link we need, oh, you know, I'm making that linguine. You know that linguine out time

I'll like Cynthia enough with the linguine, okay? No one cares Cynthia. She's like vegetarian linguine top and he's like See now if there was turkey in that I'd be on my way over and she's like, oh turkey We can make that we can make a Thanksgiving if you want This is actually Cynthia's arc. Will there or will there not be Turkey in her famously green name? It's gonna go on for five more episodes. I know, I'm glad we got to add that to the leaf blower pile.

Yeah, just like, John, I'm really down on Catchwatch a movie. I'm like, okay, this is a great scene. Yeah, thanks for taking out 10 minutes for the scene, okay? Yeah. So next up is the old lady gang. And now, it's just a garage band orgy. I think they were like, I don't know what music to play,

but just search for unused and garage band and just throw all the loops together, okay? Well, that's what Candy's voice sounds like. You know, it sounds like a bunch of loops that are showing together. Or it hurt. It hurt. So Candy is like, she's checking in on the customers at the

OLG restaurant and she's like see now rally how are you this evening how are you how's your food? Yeah she just kept going. I'm so sure can't these waiting tables. Yeah, she like took away like a little like a saucer from one table. It's like take care. So let's see Riley sister is working there too. Everyone's like, that's blocks. Otherwise that Riley had a half sister from, yeah, from a chip off the old block. Oh, I'm sorry. And Kayla, who I hope is not doing anything where she has to talk to people. Hello, welcome to old, our specials for tonight are on.

I'll be right back. Let me check. Or as a host, this one, there's a long line. Our specials for tonight are on. I'll be right back. Let me check. Or as a host, this one, there's a long line. She's like, is Sam here? Is Sam here? Going once, going twice, I'm giving away your table. Is Jeff here? Is it's like no one can ever hear their table being called? It's like the generation is just keep getting lower and lower in energy because

Riley also probably like last call for Jeff. Jeff last call. Even the buzzer's probably like. So mama Joyce shows up with her sister's Nora and I couldn't remember what's the other aunt Nora and Bertha birth uh of course uh what you doing can he's like oh you know chiptap me up and now chiptap and I love that they all has something to say Mama Joyce is like can we talk to you? It's a back to noise. Yeah, I can't just like when these old hafars have something to say, you better get them in private because you don't need everybody hearing this shit, okay? Yeah, and Mama Joyce is like, we want to change with hostess and the hostess and the hostess and the birth of ghost.

We're gonna be here all night. We're gonna be here all night with this. host is in the Bertha goes We're gonna be here all night. We're gonna be here all night with this I know I like when candy goes you have to take these ladies and private they show the clip in the The wedding dress shop where they were fighting and trying to beat up Carmen and Bertha goes you have a mama Well like and Joyce is like holding her shoe up like an axe ready to strike this woman. So then yeah, then And Nora's like my thing is the cooks and dirty pants, dirty shoes and pants hanging off the behinds and the pants on the pants and the pots and the pants and the pants and the pants and the pants You're in the pants like okay, Nora. You should make a song called pants on the ground. That's hard to do, ma'am.

Pants on the ground pants on the ground. Todd's like, well, you know about the general manager, so we're gonna have to have a meeting for a new general manager And she's like, where you gotta get people in here who are honest and want to stay? You probably will have to pay them a little bit more and stop complaining about their dirty shirts. Yeah. Yeah. Probably I don't I think that's probably a thankless job being the general

manager of O. L G. It's a huge restaurant with meddling old ladies and, you know, celebrity owners. I can only imagine that it's a full disaster to run. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our freshly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job

in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wendry app. So, speaking of disasters, we then go over to the Dish Nation office where Portia is there, and she's talking to Ricky Smiley, her co-host on it, and they're being flirty and Portia's like,

let me be clear. Ricky is not my boss, and nothing is affluent unless I want it to be. I'm like, well great. This is great that this is airing like the same night as the golden globes me to extravaganza. Yes, what an odd, what an odd relationship because she walks in and she's like, Hey, you didn't smell me today. And he's a smelter and he's like, hmm, that's one of those square things and she's like, that's right! and he's a smelter and he's like, mm, that's one of those square things. And she's like, that's right.

It's like, what? Well, she starts smelling him with porn music playing and she goes, yeah. That's rampart on time for it. And he's like, yes, it is. Yeah, the poosters are being hilarious. They're trying to like stir up some sort of romance because every time they sniff each other's chins,

it's like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. And he's like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don Have you noticed if she gets this like weird affected voice whenever she's talked to somebody outside her circle? I have a notice but I really got her I haven't noticed that and Marlow calls and she's like oh you're in you're in hair and makeup story of your life She's you want to go to T T. At the Hamptons because my name is Marlowe Hamptons. No relationship to the Hampton in. Oh, why did what's the Booker flashback?

I wrote Booker flashbacks. I've been cold with Marlowe. San Francisco was the first time that I can get with her because she told me about Buggers. I guess she had a bugger in her nose. Yeah, they were talking. they were like hanging out. And Marla was like, you have a booger. She's like, oh, I can't look at it anymore.

Just please wipe it with please, please, bat in the cave, bat in the cave, bat in the cave. You got a bear, you got some bears in the cave. There's a bat, don't scare the balls, get them out of me. Yeah, Marla was good on that trip. She was helping people with keep their buns on their head. She was helping boogers stay out of the nose. Marla was like that good upkeep kind of friend. You need that. She's finally figured out her role. Yeah, just helping out with general.

I mean, yeah, grooming. Yeah, she's like a mama bird who's just like taking out like little dead insects from their baby's head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So then we go over to Chateau Cherelle, where she's sitting on a table, she's like, oh, no, good, I got her. I got a writer, a grocery list. I got to do a grocery list. And she's like sitting down to write her grocery list, which you can tell is like her big task of the day.

Like, I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this for grocery list for me. No one else. Yeah. Extra, extra, extra large socks. No, that's for Bob. This for me.

This is for me, yeah. Also, did you notice it's a scene open? She's like, I didn't happen day in the man in Mr. Coffee. Yeah, he lives at a one two three four Maxwell House. Maybe I'll maybe I'll make a Mrs. Coffee with I'm ready but not right because right now is me time Take it slow leave a filter in myself Candies like making her own ding dong boys I'm gonna get that door because it's from here. She looks shocked by when the doorbell rang, Shrey looked up like, you got a doorbell?

The rumor is that this place is still uninhabitable. You know that right? She doesn't really live there. She's just going over there to shoot. And that she's really living in a tiny apartment, waiting to get the permits, because she did all this stuff, that she wasn't allowed to,

and then didn't pay any of the people that did the work. Oh, I just thought she was shocked because no one got electrocuted. And they press the doorbell. She's still off? She's like, oh my God, who did I just kill? Who's dead? Oh. So she's like, oh my god, who did I just kill? So she's like, oh candy and candy's like,

And she's like, oh, but the cleaning lady is coming. I just got back out of town. So super dusty has nothing to do with the fact that I don't really live here and I just open it up for the day. Has nothing to do with the fact that I don't really live here and I just open it up for the day So then there was one these great Sort of like word volleys that I feel only happens with candy burrs because candy asked if Sherey had her meeting with her kids yet And she's like I did and candy goes you did and she goes I did and I could have just gone on for five more minutes You did I did and I could have just gone on for five more minutes. You did I did you did I did you So they're talking about how she had to talk with her kids and stuff like that and then Candies like well now You open up about your relationship with me because I'm more open-minded with felons, but Nini said,

he's a con artist. And she's like, now, look, we can go down a list of shit people done that go to put damage. Which is not a denial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, really really needy? You and Greg both have mug shots. I was like, well, we'll play it. They both actually have coffee cups, mugs with their faces on them. I know, because I ordered it from them from Cafe Press. OK.

You got Cafe? You got Cafe by Press? And Candy's like, when is he out? A few months. Is he coming home to this? I know fool. I know fool. Don't let me be a fool.

See? Now, it's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool's fool I don't know drama can't need no drama

The the note that ends the scene on my pages only this show I know fool don't let me be a fool Be It's like a sound box just being shaken up. I love it. Yeah, it was it was bizarre So now we go to Marlow's house um and Cynthia shows up and he's like, Chuck. I've never been here before and I was like you never been to the Hamptons And he goes, I mean, I've been to the Hamptons in New Jersey I'm like so the point remains you've never been to the Hamptons because If someone poor Cynthia Bailey she someone told her she was going to Hampton's a book

to take it to Atlantic City or something like that. She's like, I thought the hampton would be a lot nicer than this child. It's the Hampton Inn. Yeah. Just like, why is there a, I love the Hampton's. Every time I go there, I go visit Kaffatchay. The Hampton Inn, she's like, love the ice machine, child. So let's see young twink Jonathan comes in.

She's like, Jonathan, children one I love. Got poor twink. He looks like he was just taken out of junior high. He's probably got like one of those little bracelets where if he tries to go past the front door, it shocks him. Yeah. So poor sure rise with a clear head and a heart in love. I just want to be heard in love. I'm clear. Oh my god. Okay. I hope they can receive that.

Smell me. Smell me. My heart smells clean. They're talking about how Cynthia's boobs are big and Cynthia's like, Child, instead of being 50 cent, I should be, Titty's cent, get that, it's Joe, come 50, sort of sounds like 50, let's Titty. It plays really well at the Hampton's in New Jersey. Where's Neenie Liggs? She sounds like the giant he just discovered that her husband has been killed by Jack.

Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Where is Neenie Liggs? Yeah, we're five. Oh, son. So Mimi is crawling up the stairs. She's like, where's my drink? Marlos. I love the Bob.

So, it's a practice time. Why does everything? This is about me. It's not about Bob. that. So let's see. Marlow's like, wait, let me see. Jamarlow was saying, I mean, he's like, look, Marlow twisted my bun on top of my head, honey. So I'm here to see if Porter will take responsibility. I'm like, I don't know how that sentence makes any kind of sense. Yeah, it made none. I didn't really know what was, I was like, okay, I'm just going with this episode. I feel like this episode was cobbled together with scraps of other episodes.

I'm like, okay, it's up against the Golden Globes. They're not going to give us our, they're, they're a list material. Yes, the idea of Marlo as a host is because she's like, all right, everyone, here's your tea. And then Cynthia's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why does this taste like Fadcon Grandbury child? And she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why does this taste like vodka and cranberry child? And she's like, because it is. Cynthia's power of deduction never fails her.

This would pair well with my famously greenie. Oh, Marla's like, OK, ding, ding, ding. I have a speech. I love fun. I want us to have fun, because you know what's fun? Fine. Hey, it wants to have fun. Let's have fun. The end. Yeah. So now it's time to mend Nini and Porosha in their fake feud. So, you know, and by the way, this is also the first time we got to see a new interview look from Nini where with a plunging decolatage, which showed a lot of booby,

it was not a great look to me. which showed a lot of booby, it was not a great look to me. I like the color of the top, but there was too much, there was too much, too much showing in the middle for me. It looked like a topographical map in there. I don't know. I never noticed that stuff. It's like rare that I noticed. I think it took like three seasons for me to notice that Kenya's boobs were like barrels. They were shaped like barrels. It takes me a while to notice. I just don't naturally look at boobs. Well, either way, Cynthia and Marlo start this summit by acknowledging, hey, Nini and I,

we didn't talk for two years, and Marlo isie and I, we didn't talk for two years. And Marl was like, yeah, and we didn't talk for four years. So, you know, there's hope that you can start to become friends with Neenie again. I'm like, why? Why are they addressing this all to Porsche? Like Porsche, the one who needs to change, shouldn't they be talking to Neenie, saying like, listen, Neenie, you have a pattern here. So why don't you just like shape up a little bit because they're, they both know that they were the ones who had to grovel last time to get back

in Neenie's good graces or it won't work. So it's like, okay, we'll teach you how to apologize properly to Neenie so that she'll take you back. Get on your knees and have some dollar bills in your hand, okay? That's the only way you're going to win this. So it seemed like Portia sort of was ready to grovel because she's like, you know, you used to call me your little sister and you were there for me 100% when I was going to divorce. We spoke on the phone all the time, so it was like very solid groveling,

and then Portia says, you know, and then I would, you know, when you were up in New York, I flew up to see you, to see your shows, and I tweeted it out, I posted all about your shows and then it cuts to Nini and she's like, mmm, giving me a tweet doesn't show that you're a friend. I guess it does. Those are very expensive to buy when you have that many followers.

And you know, you think it's nothing just to flap to New York to see your dumb show? That's like time and money, okay? And also, yeah, Portia has a ton of followers and guess he would be the first one to bitch that Portia did not send a tweet out about Cinderella or whatever it would be you Nini you'd be the very first person to be like she didn't even send out a tweet about my show what sort of friend is that and these two they fight about the petty

if shit in my love it she's like well when there was an issue when I texted you and you didn't text back or call back I mean I thought do we even have a friendship and Port She's like, well, when there was an issue, when I texted you and you didn't text back or call back, I mean, I thought, do we even have a friendship? And portion's like, you texted my number two times and never again. I'm like, okay. So it was just two times so it didn't matter. And also who cares? And then you go, that is so incorrect. I have phone records. And she's like, you had all the time in the world when you were down and out. But when you got up, you couldn't talk about it anymore. I'm like, what are you talking about when she was down and out? You went on national TV and said she should get fired. So yeah, well that was the real the real crux of the issue there Is that nini feels like Porsche is becoming famous and she feels left behind and she's just projecting all the stuff on to

Porsche that's basically what it is because I'm sure Porsche did do not respond to a text or two, which is not cool by the way. I hate that shit. And you know, that is hurtful. It's really annoying when you're there for someone and then all of a sudden they don't like respond to your text or they just I see out like no one wants to be ghosted. Okay. It's a really obnoxious thing to do to someone. I get it.

But that being said, I think that Neenie is, I think she is projecting her own insecurities and her own brother's ego onto Portia. Yeah. And Portia just goes, I'm tired of being the adult. When was that again? She's like, I just pulled my pants. Baby vegan. And so Neenie just keeps, she's literally rolling her eyes really big and Portia goes, I just pulled my pants. Mm. Baby vegan.

And so Mimi just keeps, she's literally rolling her eyes really big and partially goes, you could get two cracks about this. I see it in your eyes. I feel it in your touch. You never know how much I love you. Do do do do do do do do do. Mimi's like looking up from her cell phone, like what I do. Yeah, Mimi is now doing the fake. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- She's not willing to grovel to be like, no, Neenie, come on. I really want to she's just like, okay, you're not taking this seriously.

So so whatever. I'm not going to do this. Yeah. And then Marla just eat celery and they're all quiet for a minute. And then Marla goes, y'all are all for guests. And I will never invite your asses here again. The Hamptons are closed for the season. Where's Anna Gordon goodbye, New Jersey.

Good bye. So Candy and Todd, they're getting out of the car because that's all these two do in the season It's always candy in her big ass SUVs getting out of the car like See now general manager in a few time You ever to be America's next top general manager interview time you agree to be America's next general manager of all of G and so um basically looks like he is dazed he looks so out of it today like oh god here we are again I feel like I have the only one around that I've been just around that little mouse for hours and

hours and hours and I still can't catch him. Sorry, I interrupt the dude. I had to get my Tom and Jerry's joke out. I mean Jerry comes from behind and hits him on the head with the pan. He's just like, oh, Todd's like general manager, right? Because if you don't have the right team, he will bring everyone down. And Don wants like, okay, now you're going to make these people crazy because you cannot just bring someone in here and make everybody crazy because I'm the one who has to deal with them. Yeah. It's like, now be honest, they're famous and lazy.

Okay. We need a non celebrity who can never sleep and come in when we buzz the host to square. Okay. That's it. You're going to go to bed with table seven's host to square. So this guy, the candidate, his name is Aaron Bugs, and he walks in with the bow tie. And I immediately, immediately get a con artist vibe from him. I don't know. I think there's

something about showing up in a bow tie and a, and a, a blazer for, to be the general manager of restaurant like, O L G, which makes me feel like this guy is a crook. don't know why but it's just my real bond bow ties. I mean clip on bow ties You know, it just seems like he's just ready to take your money Yeah, I need so they're asked look. I'm smart. I have a bow tie But here's what I'll tell you I went on Yelp and 71% of your reviews have been three stars are worse and candy goes Which sucks? We're really good I'm taught like we're learning we're, we're really good. I'm taught that we're learning, we're working,

we're learning, you know, learning working. He's like, oh yeah, you suck, so hire me. So yeah, I mean, that was good that I went on to help and did some research, but then they're like, so what would you do? He's like, I just motivate the staff to do the best that they can do, I forgot what he said. He said something like that, some bullshit thing.

I was like, this is not a general manager. This is not a general manager, you know, who they need, need they need Peter and I'm not talking about Peter's brew I'm talking about Peter magical from sir they can handle that crap shop crap shoot I need to have a thought to come in there listen here I get singing with your guests sitting right they the guests don't want to hear you sing you know you have to do you yeah to shut up and just hit the feed What's the point of going into a restaurant and singing when people just want food? I can't wait for Tabitha to come back by the way Like soon

Yeah, it's coming up soon. Well, you would think it'll be today because the commercials are on every damn day So Todd's like he went to yelp, which means he did his research. You're hired. I'm like, oh my God, that's all he did. That was the whole interview. Like, I went to Yelp and he's like, oh my God, we love when people educate themselves. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna hold benefit, I'm gonna have the benefit of the doubt, give them the benefit of the doubt and think, say that this guy

was probably already hired and they just recreated like a, like a quick interview. But then that being said, Todd's business acumen has been nothing short of terrible for many years now. So it doesn't surprise me if that was actually the real interview right there. What? Talk about it.

And then Don Juan's like, now look, it takes a lot for you to work for you all, OK? He needs to be in the long run. Because it's going to take one time of your mama coming in here and jumping on somebody. Yeah. It's like you're hired. Here's your protective gear, sir. Exactly. So then we now go to the shoot day for Kenya's PSA. And this is what things get pretty serious. It's actually a pretty powerful extended segment. But there were some amusing parts in between

here and there sort of, but it was a lot, it was pretty heavy stuff. Kenya's like, I'm Steven Spielberg. She's like, okay, when does ET come in on his flying bicycle? They're like, no, this is a PSA. She's like, damn it. So Shemia shows up first and she sits in the director's chair and she tells her harrowing story of abuse, which is pretty terrible. I mean, you know, story of the about this crazy argument that she had been in and being knocked out of her

shoes literally. So I was like, who this is intense? I'm like, uh, hello, we're trying to do a podcast here where we're like making fun and making jokes. Um, you're kind of like, this is a little hard right now because you're being powerful and serious and sad. So everyone's just sort of showing up and can you call Sheree to get ETA and sure it's like, I got to do an accident. I got to do an accident. I don't know why it was funny to me because it's not funny when you get an accident. But there's something I just imagined a poor sap who we're ended Sheree with feels because that is not Oman you want to rear end never because she's the one who's immediately like oh my neck out I can't move my neck out and

it's all they're getting her saying my neck my neck a lot on camera it's like is this gonna is this gonna finish building Shateau Shreye that's like the one person you know how often she stops quickly she's just up short on the highway. She's like, please, John. Damn all these cut their antelope bricks She just keeps sliving on her brakes on the freeway Everyone just knows at this point like oh, there's sure it would feel she's like just stay like five car links behind Welcome to chateau State farm insurance I know my house got paid for.

I would just hate to have her yell at me. If I, you know, like, you know, hit, hit just hit that fender lightly, she comes out and she's screaming at you. I mean, I think I would love it too, because it's like, Shreya would feel screaming at me. It's kind of an honor, but I'd also be terrified. Yeah, she's like, oh, I need $5 million.

Oh, sounds. Oh, sounds. Wait, if I, I have only, I only re-rended someone once. It was very, very lightly. I re-rended it. It was basically a love tap. And so we pulled over. And this woman, she had a Volkswagen bug, a vintage one.

And the defender was cromed out. I was like, of course, I ran the one person who has a cromed out offender. Like the whole reason why you have a fender is it's supposed to take those little bumps and things or whatever. It's a fender. It's supposed to help with that. So it's like, oh man, I just cromped this out. And so I immediately go into what I call the classic gay defense, which is I go, oh my god, are you okay? I just want to make sure you're okay. Oh, I feel so terrible. Is everything okay? Oh no, it's such a beautiful fender. And she was so concerned about my concern. She's like, oh, sweetie, sweetie. No, everything's okay. It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. Have a good day. Bye. I was like, bye. Oh my God, feel better. And she drove off as like, Bobbitch. That is so pretty girl of you to do. The first person I hit somebody, I was 15, because I could get my driver's license in New Mexico. So I was 15 and I'm driving along. And I hit this lady, I mean, it was not hard. I had screeched on my brakes a full minute before.

So if you can imagine that it was like really long because I sensed what was coming that's the sound also candy makes when she's about to crash to someone and the lady got out and she's like I'm okay I'm okay we switched information and then she told the insurance people that I dislocated her cornea. Or I she had no, I'm sorry, that's wrong. A detached retina. And it cost so much money. And I will never forget it. I was like, I totally got screwed over. Oh God. That's such a bullshit. That's what charade is doing right now. She's like, yeah, detached right now. That's that I'm going to get paid.

My basement will be finished by this detached right now that I'm carrying around with me. In my hand, look, here it is. It's in my hand. You want to look at it? Yeah, good old Shere. So Shere is in a car accident, but she's on her way in. And in the meantime, Cynthia's mom, Barbara,

takes the seat to tell her story of abuse and it was like oh it was a wowser it was a one of you know she had to grab a kitchen knife and she was ready to murder this man. I, for some reason I can't remember the details of it because it was so shocking but she said she did it in front of the kids too right? Um yeah she got a knife and she stuck up for itself and Kenya's like did you cut him? Did you start him on fire? Have you seen Donkey booty videos? Do you like that better or did you like my video better?

Kenya stay focused. So Barbara yeah she starts Barbara starts basically balling because you can tell she does not talk about this a lot. Very very, it was like, oh my goodness. I'm like, I'm like, what's happening on it? I was like, what happened to like, when Porsche was talking about how like she and Ricky, like, I don't know, I was like, what happened? Like, what happened? I'm like, the fun parts.

No, but it was good. I did the really. What happened to my stuff? I happened to find parts. No, but it was good. I did the wrap-in to us. And we're the white men or the victims of the situation. No, but it's very, obviously, extremely powerful. And there were a lot of people online who were really like, oh my god, I was crying, et cetera. So it was. Yeah, it was really.

I respect, don't take notes. So the next thing I have is the right going. I have a bulging disc. A bulging disc. So to get slammed in the back high speed is torture. Like I'm in pain sitting here right now. Like right now. I'm in here. My disc is bulging. Okay. A million dollars basement. Then tell you friends. So but she she finds the strength and she gets she She pulls herself together to do her to do her line And I just heard the laugh at one part where she goes she starts saying her logic. Oh, I'm a little horse And I started laughing because I was imagining her actually inhabiting the character of a small horse

Also like she's giving a musical audition. She's like here, here's what I have to oh my voice isn't ready. Why did I write Kenya praise to an orange? I don't know what that means, but I wrote that. So She's like, well she ran me and been in a car wreck, but Porsche is a car wreck or something So she read the use and she's like, could I have some lemon honey water, please? So then she's like, there is no excuse for abuse That was there. I was a little surprised actually because didn't Porsche allude to the fact that Cordell was sort of abusive. Wasn't that in the past? Is that something that happened? I think she alluded to physical abuse. I

think she was saying that he was controlling and stuff like that. Okay, because I was a little surprised that Porsche did not actually have something more to say like that, but maybe that's for a good reason. I don't want to I don't want to say that Cordell is an Abuser if he's not But I was also surprised that we didn't get to see the final PSA by the way Also, I'm surprised that we didn't get the blooper real because you know it's like 10 minutes long There is no excuse for the boost. Oh, well, we got one Oh, we got one. Do it again, do it again.

Yeah, there's truly nothing as entertaining as watching the blooper reel of a domestic abuse PSA. And they were showing the clips for next week and someone's like, we got to talk about the elephant in the room. And can't he's like, elephant, live long, honey. Oh, man, did we tiptoe well enough around this last part of the show? I hope we did. Sorry to probably not me. Yeah, probably sorry to anyone who thinks we're being too light-hearted or like disrespectful. We tried. We tried our best. Hey, look, I didn't take notes for

the last 10 minutes of the show. Okay, what more do you want from me? That is, I have to say, I'm proud of you Ronnie. I'm crap Everybody thinks I'm trying to be your accident We'll be back tomorrow with bulging disc. No, we'll be back tomorrow with Vanderpump rules and then the next day with real house Wavs of Beverly Hills and go get your tickets for watch it crap and live over watch what crap and stock com We also find a link to merchandise. Alright, don't fuck it up people. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Bye. Talk later. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com. www.slaftserve.com