Watch What Crappens - RHOA: We'll Always Have Closet

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

We covered all seven parts of Netflix' Tiger King on our Patreon feed, and have video recaps for six of those episodes on Crappens On Demand! Kenya cries in the Closet Love Built on this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta while NeNe tries to make us believe there's still a spark in her marriage. For the entire season of Netflix' Tiger King recaps with Crappens On Demand videos for epis 2-7, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches!

Betches! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela! Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Miss No Trickleys. Hava Niggila Weber. Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. He makes a squee, it's Richie D. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Niggie Morgan letters. One day you're Rachel Zinn, and the next day you're out. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying okay, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high low. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, she ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Oop, she did it again, it's Brittany Montana. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Let's take off with Tamala Plane. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthew sisters. Give them hell Miss Noel. Always ready for Nicole pass already. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Simple as rocket science, it's

Dana Easy. It's a frog's ass watertight, it's Rosen's 80. No one can do it like Andrea Jewett. Jamie. She has no last name Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD. Let's give him a kiss. It's Austin and Marissa Nancy C. C. C. C. Desisto we will we will Joanne a Rockland you I take the fifth with Dana Smith. We love you guys! It's what happens, but there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Carapans. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros.

It's me Ronnie and that's been over there, happy. Hi, how are you? What happy Monday, Ben? Happy Monday, how was your weekend? It was amazing, but we'll talk about that in just a minute. Let's get some quick plugs out of the way. Lifeshore live show. Oh my God, live shows.

Well, first of all, come listen to us on our other shows. Ben is on the Game Brain podcast, which is about board games, OK? And he also does the Real House Wares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon that he writes and stars in, does the voices for for Real House Wares or for Real House Wares of New York. You can go find that over on YouTube and I do the Rose Prax Bachelor post a

roast podcast and we're starting this week on ABC's new crap of a show. Listen to your heart which is like the bachelor was singing, okay? So go listen to that. That'll be out Tuesday tomorrow. And that's it for that. Our live shows obviously are on break like the rest of the world, but we're still doing some live shows over on our Patreon for Crappens Live quarantine. This week we're going to do the season premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We're going to do that Friday night and it's going to be... We're going to do a pre-show on Instagram live at 6pm Pacific and then we're gonna move over to Crappens on demand over on Patreon and do a live show at 6.30 Pacific 9.30 Eastern, okay? So join us for that, be on the Crappens on to bad level.

That's also where you get all of our video archives. We do a couple of video recaps a week. So we're gonna, we have all the Tiger King episodes up so you can go get all of those now. That's for this month and that's some fun stuff. What else, Ben? Oh, we have a really exciting thing because you know we love to, we love when we can give shit away and we actually get to give stuff away. We're gonna be giving away. And I, robot, roopa, robot vacuum clean, okay? Which we both have. I have my vacuum cleaner Ramona and Ben has Dolores. The I7 Plus, by the way, if you wanna know the specific model.

Yeah, and we're gonna be giving those away. And to win when you enter on Instagram. So follow us on Instagram. We're gonna have instructions going up probably today or tomorrow on what you need to do to win that. So be sure that you are on our Instagrams. Okay.

It's at what's going to happen on Instagram. Follow us. Yeah, we'll have instructions, but the first thing you can do is start following us and you can win your own Delora server of owner. And it's going to be a really fun contest. We will tell you what the contest is, when we can, we just have to make sure we're doing everything right before we announce it.

But that'll be super, super fun. And you know what, by the way, I'm loving my Dolores during these quarantine times, because even though I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with, I don't wanna spend that time back, you mean? Dolores, you do it. So, yeah, this is really cool. The things we have time to do that time vacuuming. Dolores, you do it. So, yeah, this is a really old thing.

The things we have time to do that we're still not doing. I'm like, I'm still not going to vacuum my own house. That's gone. And yeah, it is nice, because I live alone. Well, not alone, I have Bueller, but as far as human companions, I live alone. And so, you know, you would think that that would bother me more than it does, but it doesn't really.

But I have that little Ramona, and I just tell my phone, phone, I'm not gonna say her name right now, so I don't trick everybody's phone. I say, tell Ramona to clean, and then Ramona comes out, and you know, she comes up and sometimes will like give me a little kiss on my foot and turn away. I'll be like, don't be coy, Ramona. Get back here. Believe it or not, this is not an ad. This is just us really sharing our experience. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going catch up on some shows that we've been missing, because let's face it, Real Housewives of Atlanta is basically getting on the ground and crawling towards the finish line. What the fuck are you even doing at Atlanta? You're wasting my time at this point, okay? Yeah, it's really upsetting because, you know, we've been sort of alternating between Top Chef and Atlanta for a Monday recap, and we were like,

well, we did Top Chef last week, so we're gonna do Atlanta this week, so we didn't take notes on Top Chef, and Top Chef turned out to be super, super funny. And Atlanta turned out to be a piece of shit, like just a steaming turd. Like this season should have ended as soon after Greece, they should have come back and done the season finale. I believe since they're not doing a reunion that they are trying to stretch this out,

so they're cobbled together, stupid footage to make this season last and it's terrible. It was, the season was going well and this is the note it's going to end on. And I don't like this note. I'm angry. I don't because it land as my favorite one. It's one of my top favorite ones to watch. I mean, New York, I think is both of our favorites, but this is my favorite to watch. It has been from the beginning.

I've watched this in episode one. I love pretty much everyone on it. Even the people I hate, like I can kind of enjoy watching, except you know who. And I don't actually, I don't know if that's Nina or Kenya. Kenya is the only one. Like, Nina still makes me laugh, even though she's a monster from hell, and I think she needs to go away and be fired. But she still makes me laugh, you know, Kenya, I can't with her and her fake ass storylines. But, you know, even they're all enjoyable. I love the show, but man, towards the end, they just too many episodes, guys. Yeah, because, you know, it's one of those things where it's, I'm assuming it's still their

top rated show. So they're going to try to milk that first much as they can. But man, man, last night's episode of Painful. And last week's episode was Painful, but this one I was supposed even worse. Even worse. So it opened up with, we see flashes of things going around over in Atlanta.

And we see Dennis and Portia at a place called the Hair Outlet where I guess his mom works or something. And like Dennis is pretending, And we see Dennis and Portia at a place called the Hair Outlet, where I guess his mom works or something. And like Dennis is pretending, they're talking about like PJ, like in the middle of the night trying to like, get some of that milk out of Portia's boob. And Dennis is, then Dennis starts to like pretend like he wants the milk to and he's like trying

to suckle on Portia's boob. And like it was right in front of his mom. And I'm like, you're awful, you're awful. This is not how we deserve to open a show. This is like the least kinky thing about Dennis, by the way. True, that's all season. This is the reason of,

hey, it's Dennis fucking dogs. Oh well, anyway, let's talk about something else. Probably had an erection throughout the entirety of tire king. Probably. So then Mimi goesie goes over to swag. I'm like, welcome to swag. That was your keep pass. Did you pay for him?

Yeah. This girl's like, yes, I pay for them by being in your presence every goddamn day lady, okay? Exactly. It's like, you know, their least favorite days, those workers are shooting days because that's the only day that needs probably ever in her boutique, right? So they have to all of a sudden, like, you know, she gets to like boss them around when they're the ones we're calling, who've been running the shop this entire time. Yeah.

I think every employee in there, there's like 10 people in there. That story is as big as like a master bedroom, okay? Where are there 10 people working back? Seriously. So that was the day of Eva's big move. I feel like Eva, all she does on this show is have babies in move. I feel like it's just been nothing but moving

in babies for like three years. Yeah. And you know their desperate when they're showing Eva moving footage because it's terrible. It's like Eva sitting on the couch with just babies everywhere. It's like a baby swinging around on the fan.

There's a baby in a tiny car going across with a remote control. There's a baby crawling through a window. You know, it's just babies everywhere. Seriously, so she is like, they're packing up her house, her condo. Her, she's got a gay named Shanti Who's helping out and she's talking about how it's the final day of the condo and just a flood of emotions

Leaving this temporary living space that she's been in for nine months just a flood of emotions It's just a flood I was just mad the whole time because I'm not named Shanti I mean, that's the most amazing name. How did I end up with the whole time because I'm not named Shanti. I mean, that's the most amazing name How did I end up with Rondle? I love the name shot and I could imagine people calling me Shanti like hey Auntie Shanti You know auntie around the shanti. No name. I love Chancy I love the name Chancy and I have a friend named Chancy that makes me feel like a butler No offense to your friend, but is it no? Oh, no, Ch no, Chancis not the Butler. He's Patricia, all schools dog. Dog, yeah, by just loving him, Chancis.

Like there was a basketball player named Chancis Billups. Just, I don't know, I think it's such a good old-time. Yeah, it's such a nice, lovely name. It's like a soul-to-ring around the car, Chancis. Hey, Chancis, that a gun in your pocket? I happen to see me. I think you should be Chancis and I'll be Chancis for now. Wow, Chancis had a boner in your version.

We can send everybody in the 50s had voters all the time. Like any time you see a movie from the 50s, well, we'll always have bearish baby. I'm like, give any of your boner. Can we end this movie without you with a giant boner? and this movie without you with the giant go-mer. John C. The point is, okay, Shanty and Chancy, they'll be our spin-off podcast. Shant and Chancy. Take a Chancy.

With Shanty. The Chanty. I'm in. Sounds good to me. So, anyway, byhouse. Byhouse who cares. Although I will say that Eva does it the way that you like, because I definitely thought about you while I was watching the scene, So anyway, buy house. Buy house to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean.

And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean.

And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean.

And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. And then to be mean. So I know that we're giving you $6 an hour and that's a lot of money. So have fun moving our entire family's belongings into a house because she doesn't just sit and then she just shows up and it's all done. It's all done. Well, so here's what I've learned. Here's some life advice from Ben Mandelker, aka Chauncey.

Chauncey's life advice. My life advice is if you have the means, because not everyone can just pay for movers, and I understand that. But if you do have that money, use it on movers, because it makes life easier, and it also makes moves less stressful. And in fact, I think I've even given this little

Choncy advice here before, but I just wanna reiterate, I would always like pack up all my stuff and the movers would come. It would be weeks and weeks and weeks of me, like getting boxes and tape and boxes and tape and packing and stradzing the boxes full of department. It gets crazy. And then when my last move, because I had to do some minor move

because there was renovations that happened, so I had to move everything out and move everything back in. I did the whole pack, packed everything up myself. And then I spoke with the mover and he said that they, they will often pack up like an entire mansion in like six hours or something like that. And I was like a mansion in six hours. Well, you could probably pack up my one bedroom apartment and he's like, yeah, like 90 minutes. So for my list move, that's what I did.

I said, you know, I'm gonna pay the extra money and I didn't do any of the packing, except maybe like a few delicate things. They packed up literally everything, every dish, every whatever. It took them 90 minutes, what would have taken me three weeks of my life. And then of course, the last night is always like,

you're up until like 4 a.m. because you're just, you're always doing that. They do it 90 minutes, it costs maybe like $200 more. So everyone, life advice from me about moving. Wow, I like that. Get a shanty, basically. Yeah, basically, yeah. Yeah, I like that.

So next week, I don't do anything. I just leave everything there to tell people I've died. I call, so I'm dead. I'm sorry. I'm not doing the work. And then I just go on Craigslist and look for people who will deliver a catch for $20. And you know, it's worked for me.

So there you go. And I will say this, let me say this. Another thing is that the night before my most recently move, since I knew I was having the movers pack all my stuff, which I know it sounds like really privileged. Oh, you can't pack your own stuff. But it's one of those things like, fine, call me privileged. I don't care. You do it and you'll realize your life will be changed if you ever have to move again. But I was at dinner with friends. I was, I think I was playing board games. It's like, oh, yeah, moving tomorrow.

The amount of stress it actually removes from a very stressful process is, is worth three times the money that you pay for the, for the few extra hours for them to pack so there. Piece of mind. It's price is okay. Yeah. So let's go over to Kenya's house. Candy is coming over. Why? I don't know. I mean you have you're supposed to be spending more time with your family and you're at Kenya's house. Okay. I could understand even if you were at Chuck E. Cheese. Kenya's house. Come on. They have then they have some some much stuff to say. Like for instance when Kenya when Candy walks in, Kenya's like, hey miss They have, then they have some, so much stuff to say. Like, for instance, when Candy walks in,

Candy is like, hey miss pla-a-ha-ha-ha-ha. And then they start talking about how it's been 90 degrees. But like, it's gonna be cooling down soon, which is really good, but Candy doesn't want to get too cold because she likes wearing shorts. I'm like, we're 15 minutes into this episode, and all that's happened is that Eva like changed cushions on her couch

And is now we're hearing like the weather forecast. Yeah, and this scene goes on forever and I think you're right where they just said okay guys We're we want to stretch this out a little bit candy just talk about shorts I'm only one home is Kenya, so just go to Kenya some talk about your shorts and then Yeah. I mean, the only one home is Kenya. So just go to Kenya and talk about your shorts and then cry about how you work too much. Okay. Yeah. So Candy basically starts talking about how Todd has been like really letting her have it about not being around enough because she's been working so hard and and he and like Todd

really made her feel bad and of course can't be sort of to cry. And she's like, I always feel guilty because I do work so much. And I'm, you know, like, I, you know me, I can't stand this. I cannot stand Todd making your feel guilty. Don't make your feel guilty about working too much and then throw a freaking you're a baby shower for the fourth child between the two of you guys. The fourth child, you got a baby shower that you're renting out an entire film studio for as a themed baby shower. And then you're going to complain about her working too much. How about it's called go to like the ball pit at McDonald's and call it a day.

Yeah, I mean, this whole argument really, normally I would just say shut up up Todd But this one changed my mind a little bit just cuz Ace cried He's like I want my mommy to watch me like throw Legos. I was like okay candy. You know go home for a little while at least But I guarantee you go home and Todd's the child Yeah, you think Todd what I think Tom manipulated is I guarantee it. He was like mommy's never coming on me Mommy that's because of you. What do you think about that? I'm sure. I've seen it. Listen, I've seen enough of these housewives shows to see how parents treat their children.

They want something. Well, yeah. Candy is like, I make money for everybody I know. I support like every family I know. So, need the money. Okay. There. So that's her deal. And Kenya is like, oh, I can't believe,

you know, my long, my long marriage speaking to somebody every now that is gone from me. You never even lived together when he's talking about Kenya. Now, yeah, I feel, I felt like this whole thing was just baiting me into saying stupid shit because nothing knew happened. And guess what, I'm not gonna baiting me into saying stupid shit because nothing do happened. And guess what?

I'm not going to be baited into saying these things. I've already had opinions on all of these things. So FF, FF, FF in my mind. I have one opinion about something. So Ken is talking about how everything went to hell and that like she's been blocking more. They haven't had, she hasn't been talking with Mark because she's also been blocking Mark and she'll unblock Mark when he learns how to talk to her some bullshit like that

By the way, I support block mark because he's a piece of shit, but anyway, yes, so Kenya's now Kenya's like She's basically kicks out candy because she's like you've been here way too long Go home to Todd make him feel better. Here's my and her tip is this what's his favorite food and candy goes salad? chip is this, what's his favorite food? And candy goes salad. Okay, it's like, okay, we'll go get him a great salad and bring it to him at work. Now listen, we've all enjoyed many wonderful, wonderful salads in our lives. We've had our sad salads. Has, have you ever met anyone who said their, their favorite food is salad? Gross people say that. Yeah. That to me is a big warning sign candy. Yeah. In the first time you said my favorite food is salad, you should have gotten rid of him.

Yeah, 100%. Especially since if it's favorite food is salad, why is he not making like an OLG salad bar? How about that? Oh, God, don't give him any ideas. Okay. He's spending enough of candy's money. Yeah, that's all he needs I ate a salad today and I was like, oh gosh, this is gross And then they make eating salad like tossing salad jokes and Kenya's like yeah, but I'm gonna eat two salads Oh, yeah, I was like, okay, that's that's really the cherry on top of this sad scene is Todd eating candy salad joke. Okay, next.

I'm so glad I somehow missed that entire toss salad reference that I was happening to that scene. I think at that point, I was already just like, you mean about Todd loving salad? Now, you know that it's a it's a it's a wonky episode when Mal is amazing in the episode. Where did this Mal come from? Where has she been? I've never seen this version of Mal before. when Mal is amazing in the episode. Where did this Mal come from? Where has she been? I've never seen this version of Mal before. She came in some kind of metallic makeup

that made her look like robot Mal. And then she just went in on Cynthia and it was the best Mal has ever been. So this may not have been the best episode ever, but this was definitely the gold standard Mal episode. You go Mal. So basically Mal shines when everything else around her is terrible so

we're at the Bailey wine seller with Mal and Cynthia and They Cynthia's asking Mal about business and she's like how's business is business picking up She's asking all these questions and I thought like I was like waiting to find out what Mal does for work these days because the what you know They're talking about how, Mal's like, yeah, business is good. It's picking up, it's slow on some days. And Cynthia's like, well, are you guys offering more of an incentive, which I was like,

LOL incentive, she's like, incentive deal. And Mal's like, we're trying to, well, what do you mean? And Cynthia's like, well, you know, on slower days, maybe you like offer cheaper prices or something like on a Wednesday, she's like, well, what do you mean? And Cynthia's like, well, you know, like on slower days, maybe you like offer like cheaper prices or something like on a Wednesday. She's like, well, Wednesdays were close. And I'm like, what are they talking about? It turns out they're talking about the Bailey wine seller.

I like the sense that they've ever been in her store. She's asking questions. Like she's never even been in the Bailey wine. Like the questions that she was asking are the sort of questions you ask someone of the cocktail party about their job. Not about the business that you own. Yeah, since he has no idea, she just calls it the Bailey Wine Center and then Mal does everything, basically, is what we find. But where else would

they be? Where else do you see those plastic vines, but the Bailey Wine Center? They're either there or they're at, uh, or the seller. I don't know why I'm calling it the center. They're either there or they're at the Hobby Lobby, you know? Well, I mean, I knew they were at the seller, but I thought they were talking like, I thought like Mal had some sort of like, I don't know, photography business or something. But like, the fact that Cynthia didn't even realize that her wine seller was closed on Wednesdays is hilarious to me. Yeah.

And Mal's like, well, people need two days off. It's a labor law or something. And she's like, why is your butt so big? Listen, Cynthia, we really need to keep ourselves in shape. That butt is crazy. So Cynthia's like, OK, well, the problem with hiring families that family will check you back. And then she's telling her, you know, maybe we should do some meet and greets. And she's like, when are you even here, Cynthia? Okay. Yeah.

Exactly. And then when you find out, Cynthia starts saying how, like pretty much our whole family is in LA now, because Noel is in LA auditioning for a Salt and Peppa documentary. I mean, I don't even understand that part of it really. Like, I don't know how you audition for a documentary, was she like, auditioning, auditioning to be like the person who recreates scenes from Salt and Peppas. I think so. Yeah, I think it's like those actress who are hired on the ID channel and they're like, Misty was murdered. And then you see the back of some girls head walking down to a lake that she's going to later end up dead in, you know?

I'm like, you are, you, because she was going to Howard University, right? A very prestigious school. I'm like, you left Howard University to audition to be, to be it like, like, like to be a recreator on a, in a documentary about Saul Pappa. Come on, Noel. This, what about her dreams of being a dentist? This is what happens. Yeah. This is what happens when you go to LA one time. You're like, fuck that.

I know. I'm saying with Jill in LA and I'm gonna be an extra on the ID channel Her dad cannot be happy because I think her dad went to Harvard, right? I could be not happy He's like there is no way you're dropping out of college and they're like, yep. She's dropping out of college She can always go back to college College, you know college totally notoriously easy to get into yeah, I'm like yep, you know, college, totally notoriously easy to get into. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, you know, a degree, a degree from prestigious university that you worked hard to get into or being able to say that you were that person in the background of that scene in the salt and pepper dog. That was on who knows what?

I know they both have their values. Well, I think Cynthia should actually go to LA and go back to school and become a doctor so she could be on Mary-Domedicine because she's like, someone has to move. And I don't understand why it's only this show that has trouble. It's like, yeah, we want to get married,

but there's no way I'm going to live in the same city as my husband. So I hope it works out anyway. Like, it's not going to work out. We just, we're still in the Kenya line with it not working out because they refused to live in the same city. Is this just the new plot line of marrying somebody in a different city? Well, it is the, I mean, that's one of the ironies of the show, right?

Is that like, it's geographically based. So if she wants to, normally she probably would just move to LA, but if she wants to be in the real house, why, why, why, why is it Atlanta? She can't live in LA necessarily or at least, I mean, she'll, she can make a work, she can make a work, but that's, that's her thing. She know like, she's a bulletinsley from New York and just like go there and then come back for shooting and then, yeah, everyone will yell at her for that. Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, aside from the wine center, as you call it. I like calling it the wine center. It sounds like it's a place where wine goes for like counseling or traveling. It's like the wine center. Everybody's meeting up there. I'm gonna catch my wine bus. The wine o'clock, the wine bus is leaving it wine o'clock, all right? I think the real reason why she's not giving up

Lake Bailey is, well, A, obviously she wants to stay on the show and B, she read open mic. She's like, fuck this, I'm not selling my beautiful Lakefront property. Yeah, and she's made so many avocado dishes on that countertop. She's like, I'm sorry, I bet. That is a well-seasoned countertop. And she's spent a lot of time cultivating Lake Bailey as a thing, you know? Like, we have Chateau Cherey, we have, I don't know where else we have in Atlanta. We just pretty much have Chateau Shirei

And she works really hard to get Lake Bailey. I don't know if Ken does Ken does not have a name. It's just like the What was it the house that ditch? Yes, yeah, they call her so yeah, can you have what more manner more manner of course? Thank you. I was like I thought there was was something. More matters actually, my favorite. One of my favorite houses of all Bravo actually. Yeah, it looks like an LA house, like that boxy modern, you know, make mansion, like a beautiful.

I like make mansions too, actually. I've never been able to admit that out loud, but I do like those like modern make mansions, you know? I like a box and some hardwood floors and some glass, okay, that's it. Oh, I love a modern make mansion. and Macmatchins, you know, like a box and some hardwood floors and some glass, okay? That's it. Oh, I love a modern Macmatchin. I would I don't like as Eva's Macmatchin that she gets, but we'll get to that.

Yes. Well, Eva has one of those like planned communities. Yeah, Macmatchins, you know. It's time for commercial. It's time for it. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-up. Wondering app. The crap is commercial. Okay, so then Dennis and Porsche. Dennis is wearing tie dye. See how long we scroll through this. Here's my notes. I don't care.

I don't care. Don't care. Okay, surely I'll get to something else here. Nope. You're the highlights. She has like a brass bass and that thing for PJ. It's some sort of like shiny thing that she puts the kid in, which is fascinating.

That was amazing. Actually, that was my favorite thing. I was like, does that have a joystick in it? Doesn't it look like it should have a little joystick and then she can make the chair go back and forth and look like she's like right around his space flying around? It just looked like it was definitely from some sort of like, baby music video, right?

Like, like all the babies in the Nebraska astronauts. Yeah, it was very like a boozy jet soon, so I loved it. Yeah, yeah, I liked it. I was like, I wanted to be like, this is ridiculous, but then I was just like fascinated by it. The whole thing is that Dennis is complaining about how far away Portia's house is. And it's so far away, and he has a hard time driving from the hot dog factory to heat to the house and so then she's

like well then move in and he's like well but all my stuff is somewhere else. She's like well then move your stuff in and he starts he's just he's just a fuck face. He's like he's like well I don't want to move all my shit out here and then you get mad and put all my shit out and she's like well, the reason I got mad is because you cheated on me. So don't you done me? Yeah. So how about that? And he's like, no, it's too much moving.

And here we are again with the storyline where you're with somebody who's not in the same place as you. It's like, it's a closer geographical issue, but it's still a geographical issue. You know, I mean, Matt quest could have solved this entire season. Basically, are you really up to do? You put in one address and you put in the other address and you say, how far is it? What is it like with traffic?

Okay. It's like going on Grindr or Tinder or something. You know, you can see how far people are. Well, can you on Tinder? I don't know. I'll do that step. I think so. I don't remember.

But yeah, just go on map quest. Go on Google Earth. Okay. Guys, that'll solve the whole season. That should run the reunionquette go on Google Earth. Okay guys that'll that'll solve the whole season That should run the reunion Google Earth Google Earth. You just I would like so a listener from Wahatsi Minnesota says Aren't you guys too far because you're actually way too far to live together. Thank you Where if there's like two embarrass to ask the question itself? Someone else asking it. Google Earth is like Cynthia, how far are your new boobs away from me?

Okay, let's talk about the distance of your new boobs. Have you seen the bike path in your Carol Baskin's bliss? So, so then, so basically, Dennis is just, he's trying to put everything onto Portia. And he's also annoyed, because he's like, well, my friends were expecting a wedding to be on New Year's Eve for 2020. And she's like, yeah, but you cheated. We can't just hop back into it.

Like he basically wants everything the way he wants to be. And the entire time he's just drinking in his stupid tie-dye shirt. And he essentially also doesn he's like, he essentially like also doesn't want to, he just wants like fast-forward to the wedding. And she's like, no, I want to have a shower, I want to do all this stuff. And just because you fucked up doesn't mean that like I have to like give up all the fun parts of having a wedding. Well, he doesn't even want the wedding thing, right? Isn't he saying like he doesn't

even want to deal with planning the wedding again? And she's like, well, I'm going to have a wedding fucker. So he's like, well, I'm gonna have a wedding fucker. So he's like, why? Why do you need a wedding? She's like, I want it from my friends and family. And he goes, you don't have friends, which, I mean, this guy's just basically, this is my mom says, Cruising for a bruising. I know.

I think that he thinks friends, all friends are hot dogs. He's like, we don't have any hot dogs around. So you have no friends. Why do you think we need them? And she's like, well, listen, you know, you made a big huge event for everything else. And he's like, yeah, but I don't want to do a whole big thing for people who don't care. So he's saying, I guess, like, you want to have this big TV wedding. All these people have created us like shit, which they really haven't. I mean, they've just, you know, not been on your side because you're a cheater.

Yeah. So Portia does the best thing. You know, she doesn't fight. She's just like, okay, you're being a dick. So I'm going to go upstairs and all these cookies I made for you, I will eat myself in the bed in front of you. And you're not going to touch a single fucking cookie, okay? And he is like, believe me a cookie. She's like, no, I'm not taking it. I'm not leaving a cookie. These are all for me. He's like, no, but leave me one. Leave me one. It's just like, no, absolutely not. And he's like stunned and gobsmacked. Yeah. And she says, no cookies for you hot dog man. He's like, I can't believe I drove two hours out here to not get a single cookie. And then because we've heard now, this is not something I know for sure,

obviously, but although, you know, the bitchiest housewife of all, Sashomadiyah is saying that Greg got some, you know, employee at swag pregnant or something like that's their thing. And that's why Wendy Williams was saying, you guys are going to hear news about Neenie that's going to make everybody feel so sorry for her. So Neenie must already know that this is coming because now she's going to try and make us believe that she's in the happiest marriage ever. Yeah, this is awful. We should have known where to do for an awful scene because I believe the, the, the

Trixi Monocles guest vocalist was Neenie herself. Yes, it was. You think? I was like, I hadist was Neenie herself. Yes, it was. And you think? I was like, I had heard that Neenie has a song. I was not in sentin' a device, as Siti would say, enough to go listen to the song, but that was an unmistakably her voice singing that song. So she, if their lyric was,

if you're married, keep your legs closed. That's so Neenie. If you're married, keep your legs closed as That's so mean. If you're married, keep your legs closed. As they play it during the scene that she's telling us about her open marriage. Seriously. So she's, so it's one of these annoying scenes. We see your laying petals on the floor, lighting candles. Any brabosee that starts like that, you know, it's just going to be a waste of time. I've never seen one episode that didn't wear that wear where we had a scene, a romantic scene that did not just torture me with visuals

or bore me to death. I mean, whether it was Peter asking for a hand job on the massage table or Mona rubbing down Mario's chest or Tamra and Eddie and a bathtub, this is low key one of the worst things that Bravo does repeatedly over and over and over again. And we really should, you know, we give a lot of hate to a vaginal adjuvenation and things like that. And I think it's time we really put rose petal scenes up there with it.

Yeah, because you know, they're not cleaning those up themselves. You know, I'm always, I'm always getting offended for the help in all of these scenes, you know, like who had to clean out that bathtub, who had to clean out Tamer's bathtub? Because you know, it wasn't her, you know. Who has to clean up these rose petals? Mimi's not doing it. Tell you that more Shanti's gonna be over here with a dustbin in 20 minutes.

Yeah. So she's talking about how, you know, her and Greg have been together for so long. And it's been, we've had high highs and low lows and it's been really rough because you know, he had cancer and so they couldn't be intimate and then, you know, they talked about an open marriage. Yeah. And so this is basically a scene where Nini is trying to patch up her image and show how, you know, it wasn't all about her last year. It's just like she was going like they're just sort of like trying to spin things.

So we see them talking about the open marriage discussion. She goes, you know, I brought that up because you know, Greg had cancer and it wasn't the time to talk about divorce. So that's why I brought up open marriage. Like as if somehow it was, she was actually being thoughtful to him because she wasn't going to burden him

with something as heavy as divorce during his cancer. I don't know, like it felt like she was trying to spin it as if there was, this was some sort of benevolent act to talk about it, open marriage. And then like she starts explaining how they weren't sleeping in the same room. She goes, well, you had to protect me because I, you know, I couldn't be part of the radiation. So I couldn't be near, which is why she was not. I have an actual question about that. Is that a thing that when some of the joint are radiation you're not supposed to be close to them?

I don't think that that's, I don't think. I think that's contagious, Mimi. Okay. No, I think it was bullshit what she was saying. And then she starts, you know, patting herself on the back. And she's like, you know, amongst this group, everyone knows I've been married the longest. And my marriage is doing better than anyone else's.

I don't know if you're married just doing better than anyone else's. Also, you did get divorced in the middle of it and better than Kenya's, yes, better than Portia's, Portia's not even married. So I would actually say that even Michael are doing the best. Yeah, me, I would have to agree. So yeah, she's talking about how I'm wondering if she had, and if she got caught sleeping with someone or dating somebody, because it's unlike Nene to do this without being a big victim, like he cheated or something like that. When they make it into an open relationship, I'm like,

oh, okay, so you're screwing around on Greg. Can we get to this? Can we stop this fakery? Because this is the fakish shit I've sat through in a long time. Look what's going on? Someone tell me the nine million pillows on our bed and then they hop on the bed And he's like shall we watch a movie and Greg's like let's make a movie. I was like Oh, because my nickname will be backdoor Billy Like please. Oh God. Please Greg. We don't need these images. It'd be harder to watch than saw. Like nobody wants to sit through that, okay?

Because scene, not scene. So then we go over to Eva making a personal video in her new house, iPhone footage. Yes, Sterling Acres. She's at her new house. Yeah. And then Portia's at work, annoying everyone with more photos of her child left. PJs so cute. But but she's like, Oh, look, here's PJ city at a computer.

You know that every single day she's forcing those photos on her co workers. And they have to be like, yes, that's adorable PJ sitting out a computer. Yeah. She's like, she's already checked several emails. Pete, they are hearing in her check. And then Candice, baby shower walk through Todd is like, the theme of this is got the stars born. I'm like, that didn't end very well.

Yeah. As memory serves, I don't think that ended too well, buddy. Exactly. And again, for all his talk last week, like, you know, I was in production. I was like, I got a cameraman. I did all this and that. And now I've just been running the businesses. Well, you have some free time here.

It doesn't seem like you're really putting it towards your so-called passions that you feel like Candy has maybe taken you away from. You're making, you're spending more money on a ridiculous baby shower right now. So stop complaining and eat your salad. Yeah, Candie's like, oh yeah, it's hard not to be there and have any control over this, but at least on Wannis. Because, yeah.

And then we also, by the way, see photos of Candie's showing photos of her, like, she's like, took a bunch of photos of, like, co-stars on the shy shy and Lena Weith has her face fully blurred out. I'm like, Lena Weith, okay, come on. You can allow your face to be on real houses of Atlanta. We can see it's you, okay? You're a famous person. You're like, it's not gonna, like you're not, it's not like your credibility

is going to be ruined because you took a photo with Candy Burris and then it was like, showing on Atlanta, like show your face, Lena Weigh, that like get over it. Like you're already hired Candy Burst, okay. People are already going to be the entire time that Candy Burst is having sex. People are going to be saying, that's Candy Burst, and Real House was in Atlanta. So just show your face in the stupid show. Like why are you having your face blurred out on Real House was in Atlanta?

Yeah, it's very like I'm too good for reality TV, which you know, I say I say protect yourself I also lean away also I don't know if you remember this, but you did appear on Bravo just last year with my good friend Padma Lakshmi Her face is blurred Well, yeah exactly like why is she so like why is she so like? She's allowed she's okay with top-shap and not rehearsals of Atlanta and really bothered me really bothered me I Didn't I didn't really you didn't have any opinion on it. That's okay. Yeah, I could make myself say something But right now I'm just going back and forth in my chair

I'm swiveling right now now I'm swiveling. That's, that's, that's okay. That's okay. I have been like, wait, should I watch the show the shy? Because I haven't seen it. Have you seen it? I have not. I got a showtime, like little, they have a free 30 days

for showtime. And so I got it to watch Homeland, because I watch all of Homeland, and I'm like, all right, and I'll make it through season eight. Let's do this. And so I got it to watch Homeland because I watch all of Homeland. And I'm like, all right, I'll make it through season eight. Let's do this. And it kind of sucks. But I see that the shy is on there. And I'm like, hmm, should I get binge-dump and ready for season of candy? People like the shy. I think that my next binge is going to be Ozark. That's been my next one. But right now, I just finished that one. Yeah, Dom and I are currently doing shit's Greek actually.

So totally different. But once we're done with that, I think maybe I'm gonna push for Ozark because everyone's saying season three is so good. And you were just talking about Laura Lennie last week back on the show, so. I think it's time. Yeah, I watched that one. Okay, so next step is Kenya's memories of Mark and they're horrible, but also I just

don't know. My head was in my hands a lot of the time because she's like, I have so many memories of Mark and all the memories are terrible, right? It's more than anything, we have love, right? Because we've got this cutie pie. So that's awkward. And she has a hard face. And then another wonderful memory.

She's like, dear Lord, we ask you to keep us on a path of being together. And then the baby screams at the end. And she's so mad that the baby will turn toast. And it's all these dramatic black and white weird slowmo shots of her folding up his clothes and her closet. It was like some weird bastardization of the ending of Brooke Back Mountain or something. Like if she was just like, you know, oh every fold of the shirt, every touch of the fabric

was bleeding back vital memories. And then Cynthia shows up with a giant bag that says serial jailer. I'm like, ah, you just want to couldn't get worse. She's spray-pained a serial killer on her purse. Kenya's like, welcome to broke whack mountain. And I don't know. This is it. Black.

Kenya is that type of person. You come to check on her and she's like, let yourself in, then climb up three stairs so I can cry on a closet that I have no intention of actually doing any work in. Okay. Yeah, seriously. And she's just like, mournfully looking at all of Todd's, I mean, all of Mark's cargo shorts, you know, like, and of course, he has cargo shorts. Of course, he has an entire giant section of cargo shorts. Yeah, because remember when we first

saw the closet and she's like, look, he's been living here and it was all old Navy clothes with the tagged salon. like, you did not. Those are not even his clothes. You totally add somebody good old Navy and just get shit off the $5 rack. And they're talking about they're taking off the tags. So Cynthia's like oddly enough, trying to like rally Kenya to save the marriage.

And she's just like, she's like, well, what, like what if happens if you it happens if you get rid of all these clothing and then you guys get back together and can you say, well, then he'll just send it back. I don't care. I said, he was like, well, listen, you can't save this marriage. Y'all have to save this marriage. Something I read in a wonderful book called Open Mike.

Books were soon. I want to brought you this backpack and on it is spray painted. You'll have to. You'll have to. You'll all shoot serial chalers. She's like, well, fuck that guy, basically, right, because he's treating you like crack. And Ken, he's like, well, I'm wanting me as rather dying not as punching bag. And then we find out he doesn't even, she doesn't even have access to anything. Like she can't even call his parents. And the we find out he doesn't even, she doesn't even have access to anything. Like she can't even call his parents. And the parents haven't even met the kid yet. I mean, what the fuck?

No, I think the parents have, I think the parents have met the kid. I think they have. I don't think so. I don't know. She said she's, well, she was telling the shrink. They have a clip where she's telling the shrink or the, she's telling somebody that Brooklyn had the parents have any of them at Brooklyn. Oh, wow. Well, either way, Kenya's like, this is not how I thought a marriage would look like. Oh, you mean when you got married, you a guy after knowing him for about 36 hours. And he proposed to you by basically like saying, Hey, do we have any more breadcrumbs in the pantry? Also, will you marry

me? You're not surprised it up turned out like this? Wow, who'd have thought? Yeah, yeah, it's pretty dark. And then basically she's like, well, it's so hard packing up all this stuff. Okay, let's go downstairs, because I'm not packing this shit. Yeah, okay.

Learn from Eva. Speaking of which, we now, Cynthia then continues her tour of Atlanta by walking over to Eva's new house Which is everything's moved in now. This is more of like I make mention that I don't like just a generic You know cookie cutter house With like terrible daycore by the way. I did not really like Eva's daycore She had like an entire picture wall going up her staircase, which I know is standard people like putting pictures up, but they're all like these unframed canvases

of just like, the- The most recent Instagram squares that you can buy. Yeah, I just like, I look like college dorm. Yeah, and a chandelier and a bird cage, which is like the saddest, like low rent version of Nicolay and I've ever seen. It's like an actual bird cage with a chandelier in it.

Yeah, it's like that. Like when you go to our Urban Outfitters and they have that weird light day core section and like who gets the day core from Urban Outfitters and then it's like here it is. This looked like she'd been living there for 10 years. So I know that she had macros come in and unpack things and hang stuff,

but this wasn't fishy to anybody else. I just there literally 10 years. What are you talking about? I just assume they did a reshoot like four months later. That's what that was my assumption. Oh, okay. So basically the sense is like, well, you have nothing going on.

And I've already spray painted a purse. So let's talk about Kenya. It's sad. She's like, yeah, that is sad. It's like, okay. Well, maybe you could try not being pregnant for a year or so. Yeah. She's like, do you want to see on the show?

So maybe you should not be pregnant for another year. That would be great. We also find out that Marley's dad is trying to get her name reverted back again. I'm trying to get custody. So the ongoing ongoing headache for Eva on that front. Yeah, she's like, I just finally, you know, accepted the fact that he's insane and he's always going to be insane. And you know, like, here we go. Let's just roll along. So then we go to Candy and Todd. Let's, let's sit through a therapy scene? Sound good, anybody? Have

we had those couples therapy yet? What's going on? So, the counselor's coming over and Todd is like, he's just like sitting on a couch looking tired and like ready to complain as usual. And the counselor's name is, he's, Candy tells him that she says that she gets a counselor who's a man. So that way Todd doesn't feel like there's some sort of like women's alliance, which is already such bullshit that that can't even have to do that. But either way. So she says that the guy, the counselor who's coming, his name is Michelle and Todd's like, the guy named Michelle, not even Michael. Oh my God. I'm like, you know what, you are so lucky you even have that couch to sit on right now Todd. Okay. Yeah. And so Michelle comes and he's like, hello, I'm Michelle. And I was like, whoa, it's like Mary Poppins. It's gonna make everything okay in like two seconds.

Seriously. So, so Michelle's like, so tell me about your life. What's going on here? What's wrong? What's happening? Why is he eating so much salad during this session? And so, Candy's talking about it. If a kid on the way, basically, Candy starts doing a lot of, when she's uncomfortable, she does this, she goes, Er, er, er, not a mean, er, er, not a mean, er, er, not a mean, er, er, not a mean.

Yeah, because Todd's not even going to be in this at all. He's like sitting there playing with his lips like You know doing that kind of stuff and looking away like refusing to engage like a little brat And so candy's like okay. Well, I guess these are our problems. I work too much. We have any kid on the way We don't have sex anymore. We don't really like each other Yeah, Todd's just all mad there on the couch cuz he didn't want therapy in the first place And yeah, so Michelle's you know, I think pretty helpful for what they actually give him But he doesn't tell them anything they don't know he's like sometimes you have devs space We slow down and say hello. We're married. Hello. How are you? How are you? Hello?

You like some touch of cream this morning. My dear wife. Yeah, he's like, you know, sometimes you have to just, you know, have common decency for each other, basically. And Tom's like, but it's really hard. Like, you know, I get staying out of town to do this acting thing, but then you come back and it's miscellaneous BS, you know?

It's your friend's little event. And you know, we're not, it's miscellaneous BS, you know, it's your friends little event. And you know, we're not, it's not your friends little event. It's a televised event for the national television show she's on, the springing in the money that is allowing you to have all these babies in this mansion and these multiple houses and your multiple businesses. Do you remember how expensive your baby was Todd? Do you remember your surrogate? You know that wasn't just like a free service

that came with the seizure salad, you just ordered, okay? Like that cost money and Candy has to work for it. And like, and she does support a lot of friends, a lot of people, she even took in your daughter, which actually she should have done anyway, because that's, you know, she's said mom, et cetera. So I take back that point for that.

But the point is she supports a lot of people and a lot of family. And Todd supports like, I don't know what he supports. I don't know what he supports. He doesn't even, I, I, I, I, I, I, it seems like he doesn't even support his daughter because he doesn't even want to give her any money for anything.

And he doesn't even talk to her for crying out loud. And also I, when he's like, oh, you book it with muscling and his bullshit. What about all the time he talks about going on a strip club with his daughter? You do things too and you're allowed to do things. You're allowed to have a life. I just think that he's jealous that she's doing all these things and she's living her best life and she's really finding success.

He's just trying to have his moment where he really gets credit for something and he's not getting it and he's just taking it out on her. Yeah, well, she's, I mean, there he supports her, you know, so like what who does he support? I guess he supports her doing all that stuff, but I think he's probably like, we're a team. So like, the deal was like, I come in and I support all your businesses and I help you with all these businesses. But we do them as a team. So at least you're still here, but then when you're acting, you're not even here, you're just, you know, in other places and then that's gonna end up getting you more jobs and taking you away all the time.

So like, what the fuck? I, that's what I'm getting, but I don't know. The part that makes me sad is when he's like, her son fuck? That's what I'm getting, but I don't know. The part that makes me sad is when he's like, her son is three and then he came into my bedroom and like, four in the morning and said, where's mommy? And I was like, ah, so I don't know. I don't know, man. I don't know what will make this work. I literally turned out fine. I'm not concerned about Candy's parentic style. Okay. So yeah, Riley, Riley turned out great. Yeah, not concerned about Candy's parentic style. Okay. So yeah, Riley turned out great.

Yeah, I'm like exhibit A, Riley. So I don't wanna hear anything out of Utah. Okay, Riley is an angel. So stop it. So then yeah, they talk about Kayla and how Candy wanted to give her money and Todd said no. And she's like, you know, but that's, I have to have a say in that stuff too. And he's like, no, she doesn like, you know, but that's I have to have a say

in that stuff too. And he's like, no, she doesn't deserve it. Even if it's her birthday, she's not being responsible. And Michelle's like, I hear you. And what I'm finding out now is it told you have a very specific way of dealing with the world. And candy, you have a different way. Like, okay, well, here's your $500, thanks for coming over. Seriously. Also, we should mention that candy, at one point, was like, you know, Todd, you know,

there are times when you're gone for a whole day too. Okay, you go up and you do your things, you're doing the same thing that I'm doing, okay? And he doesn't have any answer for that. He doesn't say, well, I'm doing this for that. He just has no answer for it. Yeah. That's pretty much that.

Yeah, and next week is going to be the season finale, thankfully. And I guess I'll be it because there's no reunions. So we can put this season to bed. And I'm wondering if this is going to be the first Zoom type reunion that they do. Because Andy's been doing the watcher app, and so that's been working, I guess, I I assume and the Tiger King thing we watch this week was just a video chat reunion so I'm wondering if they're going to try that I hope they do because they need

a reunion come on it's housewives they might it'll be interesting to see um be interesting we'll we'll just leave it at that I don't know I don't know I'm yelling at one time on zoom oh my god it would be such a disaster I hope leave it at that. I don't know. People yelling at one time on Zoom. Oh my God. It would be such a disaster. I hope they do it. It would totally be a disaster. And SNL also did a, like a Zoom episode this weekend. And I honestly could really not watch it. It was just so terrible. I applaud them for trying, but it was. It just, it's did not work. So we'll see if, if they do do a reunion, if it falls

on the SNL side or Tiger King side. I mean, the view is doing it remotely and it's working out fine on the view. So, hey. Yeah. So, I love the Trot Chef, but we're not doing a full recap of it this week, but got it was so fun to watch. I love Kelly Clarkson. I love that Kelly Clarkson doesn't even have to pretend to know anything. She's just like, you know what? I'm sorry, but I didn't like that

because I don't like mushy things. Okay, you know, what part of that? I like crunchy things, so you win because I like crunchy things. Is that part of the challenge, Kelly? Was that part of the trolls challenge? No, Kelly just making a peron shit when she comes in here. This trolls challenge, it was, I didn't even

make sense. This was like some straight up food network shit. This was beneath the top chef. They had to, they had to, I didn't even understand, they had to like cook with all these different colors and weird ingredients and like blue things and and like all this stuff because trolls has basically launched this multimedia, multi-platform, integrated, vertically integrated, synergistic, something or another to promote this movie. They came out on Friday, which clearly they were not anticipating a pandemic. So all this effort for something that's not even going to be in theaters. But this top chef was one of the things that got stuck with a trolls cross promotion.

And that challenge was ridiculous. And so that's where they had Kelly Clarkson come in. And Padma just looked disgusted by the entire thing. She just was like unhappy with all these crazy colors and flavors. And I don't even know if she even liked Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, I don't know that she did either, but it was hilarious watching her every time she looked at Kelly Clarkson like, ew, like welcome to trolls. Otherwise known as my dating history. Now we have stupid,

McStupid face from something of something coming on. Hello, redneck lady. Okay. Like, Hey, everybody. Oh my God. I'd just die. Just die, Kelly Clarkson.

Today we are going to be doing a challenge in honor of the new Universal Pictures release, Gales. Oh, I'm sorry, it's called Trolls. So this movie is about a war between genres of music. And you know, this is about inclusivity so we you know We want to make sure country music's in there because no one listens to that and EDM but you're still calling techno so want to make sure that's it there they take like the six most generic

Gods of music and they're like it's about inclusivity Yeah, really are there non-tros in this film. Gotcha! Yeah, it was, it was bonkers. I'm trying to, I don't even remember who's at the top of the bottom, but you never wanted unity. Karen was like, oh my god, since you've been gone, is iconic in the lesbian community.

And I was like, really? I have no idea. Because like the stereotype of lesbians is that they're always getting married. Yeah. Karen was fanning out the entire time. She's like, oh my god, Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Clarkson. And then later on, she calls her partner

and is like, oh my god, we'd have a really cool special guest. And I don't know what pronoun. I seem to remember when Karen was burst on. I think he was a he. Yeah, I think he said he was saying it's her husband. Oh, she said that. I didn't hear that. Well, in the last season.

I remember the last season because when she was on, since she was on, we didn't have as much of an understanding about pronouns back then. Even though it was only about two or three years ago. But either way, he was like, so who was it? So who was it? I can't tell you, but all I gotta say is that since you've been gone, I can breathe for the first time.

And he's like, that's rude. I know, but she didn't even say it right. She's like, since you've been gone, I can breathe better or something. It's like, well, that's rude, but I guess I'll take it. So thanks. Thanks. He's like, no, what I'm trying to say is some people

wait a lifetime for a moment like this, a moment to be away from me. Thanks. Thanks again, Karen. I'm like, and then divorced. So what was the main challenge? So the main challenge was that they had to go to Santa Monica Farmers Market

and they were gonna do a progressive vegetarian dinner. So they all go to the farmers market and they're all running around as usual, like crazy, like Liam literally runs into a pole. And Brian Valtaggio, his big drama was that he was gonna make some through mushrooms, but the one guy who wasn't there that day was the mushroom man So he had to pivot the challenge

Yeah, I'm basically Lisa Lisa ended up on the on the bottom on this one With her Brussels sprouts those weren't really fried properly. They weren't properly deep fried properly, they went properly deep fried. And she's like, whoa, whoa. Like, why would you take a fresh challenge? I think they called it the fresh challenge and the deep fry, Brussels sprouts. Come on, Lisa, come on.

Lisa, when you serve us those soggy, under-fried Brussels sprouts, did you remember that we weren't just a panel of four gale Simmons up here? Did you remember that? And Malarkey was like so Malarkey in this one? Oh, so basically the big controversy was so Leanne was making this like she's making like a very fancy crudite and

She had all her crudite but she was sort of behind. I don't know how you get behind, I'm going to cruditate, but she did. And she needed help at the last minute with some seasoning, like some finishing salt and some olive oil. And so Malarchi did it for her. And when they eat it, they felt like it was under seasoned. And so during judgment, when they were talking to her about it, they're like, Leanne, it seemed like your credit has didn't have any seasoning whatsoever. Did you do that or did you leave it to someone with a monkey chimes face? And...

Yeah, and she's... She's like, well, someone was supposed to season it and put oil on it at the end and brands like um Excuse me, but just me television's Brian Malarkey here Pipe it up. I just wanted to say you're also mad that her hummus sucked right? I mean that's Hearing that to right. That's also something. I'm hearing right guys. All right. Well if you need me I'll be over here on television. All right. Give me a call. Meanwhile, he made for his starter. He made like tomatoes and barata. And I looked very lovely,

but it was still tomato's and barata. And even gal was like, Ryan, what you made was a very beautiful and elegant presentation of something we've all had at a million restaurants. Yeah, that was pretty lame that he made that. Yeah, I mean look it looked lovely and delicious, but I was also like really you're just gonna make tomatoes and barata. Yeah, I was pretty lame. And then Leanne basically feels like she was thrown under the bus. To that, I would say kind of, but you also threw him under the bus, you threw some nameless person under the bus

for not seasoning your thing right at the end. And I like when Tom was like, yeah, but it's still your dish, so we don't really care. You know, it's your dish. But Malarkey, Malarkey kind of like, he like introduced something else. He was like, like, she was like, yeah, I didn't, she basically was like, I didn't do the seasoning.

And then he's like, but also her hum is sucks. It's like he fully like, he entered something new into the argument. Yeah, that's a total prick. And she gets so mad at him, but doesn't say anything. She's just like, well, he's Malarky is Malarky. Like he's gonna, of course, just try and save his own ass. Yeah. But basically, in the end, though, it was Lisa

who got kicked off because her Brussels sprouts were, they just were not, they didn't, they didn't even look good, to be honest. They were kind of, they looked like something I would make at home, right? Like just whatever, like fry them, put them on top of something. Cause she had like an apple, she had some sort of apple thing.

And so in the image, it looked like someone had thrown up brusse of sprayers on top of apple sauce. And she was like, well, I'm rustic. That's just my whole thing is that I'm rustic. And Tom's like, yeah, but you know, you could have joined those apples and mixed them in and made some crunch. You could have still been rustic,

but you could have also sort of made it more complex, you know, something complex as opposed to simple, like what a mixologist does on any given day, like my son, I don't know, as an example, just off the top of my head. Rustic doesn't mean stupid and gross and disgusting, so get your ass out of here. And she's like, well, you know, my first season, I never even heard back up your knives and go, because I was in the finals. Like, well, bye, have fun watching those those beta max. There's also

there was also like more carrot love, because I remember was at the first season of the first episode of the season where Thomas like, well, what you have here is like a perfectly cooked carrot. He was like really obsessed with a carrot a few weeks ago. And then again, there was like another carrot. And I think this time it was the guest chef, Jeremy. It was named Jeremy Fox. It was like, well, you know, what we really have here is something that's really honoring

the carrot. Wow, this is a carrot. Like, I seem to remember just carrots are having a big moment on top chef. Yeah, they really are. People are having a big moment on top chef. Yeah, they really are. People are loving their carrots. Yeah. And, you know, how fitting for Easter week.

Oh, the bunnies love carrots. Well, that brings us to the end of this wonderful Monday, guys. We'll be back tomorrow with some showers of surf and cert. And this week's bonus episode, we're just going to talk about the Tiger King reunion on Netflix a little bit And then don't forget our live show this Friday night Girl house was a bit of a hill six p.m. Pre-show on Instagram live and then 6.30 p.m. Pacific Crappens on demand show on our Patreon. So go sign up for that. Go follow us on Instagram for this Irobot room above That can clearly not give away and we'll talk to you tomorrow.

Everyone, part! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watchcraft and add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.