Watch What Crappens - RHOA: What Lies Bolo
Episode Date: February 23, 2021Real Housewives of Atlanta brought in the big...er...guns(?) for this week's supersized stripper episode. Someone got their hand caught in the Bolo jar, but who was it? Kenya is determined to... find out. This week's bonus is a deep dive into deep acting. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We designed lots of face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptions! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeal Brawls.
I'm Ronnie Karam and over there is the gorgeous and talented and handsome and thin Ben Mandelker.
Hello, Ben.
Hey Ronnie, what's going on?
Nothing is Monday!
It is Monday and we just had quite the episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Wow. This is the one we've been waiting for. This is the big one. No pun intended.
This is like a new show on HBO where they make you slog through like 10 episodes before someone's
like, oh, but you have to watch to the end because it's really good. Yeah, that's I agree.
I agree. I want to see the uncut footage from this.
Maybe the point I've been to it.
No point intended. Hey.
Like the way I'm just doing Cabaret jokes the whole episode.
I want to give a triple shout out.
A triple shout out before we get in.
First, first up on my triple shout out, I want to give a shout out to my friend Neil. I had actually given him a shout out about this a few months ago, but then there was a delay.
But Neil, who is a friend of the pod, he has a podcast called Past Present, which I've talked about before.
He and his fellow co-hosts on Past present have just released on Spotify.
I think it's coming to Apple like in like two months
or something like that, I don't know.
But a podcast called Welcome to Your Fantasy,
which is all about Chippendales.
You may have heard about it
because it's gotten massive amounts of press
like today's show, all this stuff.
So if you're not listening to Welcome to Your Fantasy,
go listen because I've listened to the first two episodes,
that is really good.
And so much chip and dales, which is so appropriate to this episode of Atlanta, I mean, that's just
out of control.
Second shout out is my really good friend, Woa, is in a new TV show that's premiering
this week called See the Man and Lois.
So if you have this EW, go check that out in Sportage Show. And third, my aunt writes, I love this.
I love that.
She writes Jane Austen fanfic under the name Lily Bernard.
And she has a new book coming out.
So if you like, if you like that, it's called, I think it's called a romance to remember, just look up Lily Bernard on Amazon. And you can actually buy my
aunt's book. So there we go. Whoa, nice. A triple, triple shout out to people who are
near and dear to me, okay? I love that you're giving your aunt a shout out the same episode
we're about to talk about Dix for an hour. Perfect.
Perfect.
Yeah, that's a great.
So congratulations to all you people and all your good news.
My good news is now it's spring in Texas.
Why?
I don't know.
Last week, everything was a disaster.
And then suddenly it's like 60 degrees and everyone's in shorts.
So you know, what can I tell you?
But I'm okay.
Thanks to Ray Sonny for filling in and for everybody still dealing with the after effects
of that, you know, hugs go out to you.
It is a living hell and I hope you guys are okay.
Yeah.
I'm very happy.
I'm very happy.
Oh, I also just want to point out that if you hear some loud noise in this podcast, that's
because there's a bulldozer next door that is pulling down a tree, which is very sad
because it's a big, beautiful tree.
So if you hear lots of crashing noises and it sounds like the world is ending, it's
just a bulldozer attacking a tree.
Well, this is going to be that kind of episode because I've still got my creaky, my creaky chair because my chair is like,
on strike because I've gained so much weight.
So I sound like I'm on a boat,
lost in the ocean the whole time.
So you'll have my creaks and bins, booms, okay?
And there you go.
Welcome to Watch the Proof of Bins.
It's perfect for the Bolo episode.
All right, we ready to jump into this,
into the, into Bolo's big adventure.
Yes.
I hope you noticed that when the episode started,
there was an absolutely massive ratings box on the screen.
Did you see that where it said TV 14 DLSV?
What does DLSV mean?
That's like a TV ratings law in order.
I know. Well, I think the V stands for violence. The L stands for language, I think. The D must
stand for dick. And the S probably stands for someone. Like someone got that dick. That's
what I'm going to guess. Oh gosh. So I was cracking up even at the previous
least where Marla's going, you know, I just don't know what, what is it about me and Kenya?
I just don't know.
And they got to her being like, so are you going to talk about your fake butt, your bad skin?
What could it be?
Why would she not like me?
Um, yeah. What could it be? Why would she not like me? Yeah.
So, um, so yes, we have Candy saying, welcome to the dungeon ladies. And then the episode
opens up with Kenya dressed as Sharon Stone and basic instinct, which for like a whole
generation of viewers, they probably have no idea what the reference is because that
movie is now 30 years old. I know. But, uh, Mommy, why are they watching? I love Lucy.
They're probably like, why are they dressed in white against this blue background? They just
very, very confused, confused millennials. Yeah. Can you more putting the basic and basic
instincts? So she starts off dress like
Sharon Stone. Well, she's not really she's in a was Sharon. Yeah, she was in a white dress. Oh God
Now I'm gonna start thinking about of course stupid Sharon Stone basic instinct God remember when you thought that movie was so
Amazing and that was when like
Verhoven what was his name?
Pelverhoven father hoven his name? Paul Verhoven. Paul Verhoven. Everyone's like, oh my god, this guy is brilliant.
And then his next movies were like hidden cameras in footlockers.
Like, what the fuck is this?
It's like made with $2.
It's a hidden camera and a footlocker, but it's sexy.
What?
You know, Lisa, Tim and Zmans and I a few years ago,
we realized we had never seen basic instincts.
So we rented it.
And, or I don't know what was, we streamed it or whatever.
So we turned it on.
And we didn't realize that we had rented
the like the on cut, director's on cut version,
which was really racy.
It's like a close up of Michael Douglas
going down on Sharon Stone or Sharon Stone's body double. And we're like, wow, movies in the 90s were so racy. It's like, it's like a close-up of Michael Douglas going down on Sharon Stone or Sharon
Stone's body double. And we're like, wow, movies in the 90s were so racy compared to now. Not
realizing we were watching something that was like never in theaters. It was pretty intense.
It was pretty intense. Oh, basic instincts. So she's, I'm thinking of basic instinct because I
watched that don't fuck with cats thing on on Netflix and the killer was obsessed with basic instincts.
And he was like killing people
and then doing lines from basic instincts
like when he was interviewed at the end.
He was like, can I have a cigarette?
Like he was trying to watch that.
Oh yeah, I can't wait to watch that.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I am, it's a thing that there's by the way,
a generation who not only doesn't really know
about basic instinct, but probably doesn't really know about basic instinct
But probably doesn't even know about Sharon Stone is kind of upsetting
Yeah, well, I mean
Shownstone still around I just saw her in that ratchet show on Netflix and she's around
But that's like
You know, it's like us growing up and being like, well, I know who Angie Dickinson is,
but like, you know, to a generation,
they're like, Angie Dickinson.
You know, so like, like we like know Sharon.
So like we remember that, that was it a sprite commercial
she was in on that train, like we know Sharon.
Okay, we understand Sharon's part of our,
like our cultural education.
Yeah, I think kids listening to this right now, it's like listening to my dad say, come on guys, young Frankenstein, now there's a film. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So Kenya is sitting there and she like lets up a cigarette and then she and they're like,
you can't smoke it here because what are you going to do? Arrest me for smoking, like she can't even do Sharon Stone, right?
She can't, she can't.
And I know that everybody had the same question.
How has Kenyanmore not made it as an actress?
Like how?
I just, you have one line.
It's confounding, it's confounding.
So she's like, what is the definition of a freak hoe?
Basically a hoe who will be a freak for anyone.
Ha ha ha ha.
And the producers like, have you ever engaged
to any freak hoe activity?
And she's like, wouldn't you like to know Mr. Producer?
There is not enough sage or holy water in the world to erase what went down in
this house. Imagine this wasn't a basic instincts parody. If they just decided they wanted to
shoot all the interviews with like a just against a blue background and white dresses.
Just a different going in a different direction for Bravo. It just happens to be basic instinct.
going in a different direction for Bravo. It just happens to be basic instinct.
Someone screwed the stripper. It was not me, but I am going to find out who did.
Wow, that was that was sad. But the Golden Gloves will probably still nominate it for best act.
They will. Also, by the way, has nothing to do with the plot of basic instinct, right?
That was not... In basic instinct, Sharon Stone is the suspect.
She's not the investigator, so this has literally actually nothing to do. Well, I'm guessing that can you just didn't want to dress up like Michael Douglas?
Maybe they could have reenacted that club scene. Maybe they should have gone for like the usual suspects and then like at the end like you know Porsche just starts walking correctly or something. I don't know.
Or Bolo. And black turtlenecks. Bolo's takes something good. So then we go back to this house in South Carolina and the stripper box, the Plexiglass
box, which I love.
Is this like a real thing for COVID?
It just dawned on me.
Is that a thing that strippers have to do like dancing a box?
Like you go to school now and then you have to be like in a little Plexiglass box to
do your work?
I don't know, but they treated Bolo like it was the opening scene of Jurassic Park, right?
Like, remember that scene where they have like the Blossor after in a crate and they're like,
let's put the crate through and then the Blossor after like attacks the crate and they're like,
no!
That's how they are with Bolo.
I just keep on like, like ogling him in this box.
Like, he's gonna get out!
I just like that Bolo looks like a salad bar.
He definitely looks like he's a keepsake.
You know, like, you know, people keep,
keepsakes in those glasses, you know,
like, oh, this is the baseball that,
that Darryl Strawberry hit into my face in 1987.
So I put it in this glass box.
Also, it strips.
Yeah, so he put it in this glass box. Also, it strips.
Yeah, so he's wearing a Chanel half like trench, like latex.
I mean, I don't know, but how could you get turned on by somebody wearing that?
Come on.
Yeah, it was, it was a bizarre fashion choice.
I don't, you know, super fashion is always kind of peculiar,
especially like when someone's trying to be really avant garde.
It was just, it was, you know, it was a look.
It was a look asymmetrical.
Well, it was very housewives to try and like have Chanel
everywhere on your outfit, you know.
It's like, it's a housewives brand approved stripper.
So let's see here.
He's in a box with a giant weiner.
I can't believe they showed some of this.
I was very scandalized watching it
and not scandalized like they shouldn't show this on TV
but scandalized like, oh my God,
we had so much fun in Atlanta.
Yeah, I was so happy for these women honestly.
I was like genuinely happy for them.
Yeah, you really could see a lot.
It was interesting.
It seemed like they would only blur out his dick when he was reaching for it, you know, but if he wasn't
reaching for it, you saw like full dick outline. Like it was like a, it was like a shelf
that you install and IKEA, right? Like I'm going to put some dishes on it next.
Yeah, it was like a floating shelf. Yeah. Like how does that thing stay up?
It looked like one of the steps in Carol Radswell's apartment. It was just like
Wow
It's gonna take you to the second floor
Yeah, Ben and I went to Atlanta a couple of years ago now, I guess and
When we were there we were taken to big swinging Richards
Big Dicks. What was it called? Big swingy Richard? Yeah, and so you know, we had our own
What was the call to swingy Richard? Yeah, and so you know, we had our own
My like this episode But we have girl code we did talk about on our bonus episode
So if you want a really dirty bonus episode go find out it was great. Wow
Actually, we ran into crap and we ran into crap and listeners that swinging Richards, too
Which was great and we took it in legal photo with them and the off to the side
Yeah, okay, so Marlo, they're all in their outfits
that Candy got them.
They're like really terrible.
Like, they're taped together outfits.
They're dungeon outfits.
And they're cracking up.
And oh my God.
And their outfit, they're all so hot.
That's cast.
But then Kenya comes down and her completely not fake,
but at all, Mike, Kenya, come on now.
Now, I don't even care if anybody has a fake,
but that thing, that's like a traffic pile up.
I was like, is that a boom box in there?
Like I literally am getting,
I'm hearing radio stations from Kenya's butt.
Okay, so a lot of this is just these ladies talking back and forth.
So let's just follow through, but I wrote that this is a lot.
We have to be quiet. I don't want something out of here.
Surprise.
Yeah, and Candy is like, don't worry.
She's totally clueless, which isn't anything new.
So yeah, and then Porosha gives us like an obligatory, you know, comment about how they've
all been tested and so they're all safe. They don't have to wear masks and she's like,
she's like, no, I can't tell if you're having a good time just by your eyeballs. I didn't see this.
She like does this whole thing with her mouth. She's saying how like, if you just can only see
the eyeballs, it's boring. Yeah, so Cynthia FaceTime. By the way, they all then put on masks, but
they're just like mask grade masks. Just so everyone knows. So Cynthia FaceTime's a
mic and she's like, I'm just wanting to have for tonight. And Porsche is like, Oh my
God, it just feels so weird all the sudden to be naked and vulnerable in the common area. So they're all gathering in the kitchen, getting ready to surprise, uh,
foreshad. Or Cynthia. Yeah. And uh, Cynthia. Yeah. And Kenya is like, no, I know you're not ready for
all this Kenya, these Italian up in here. But I'm like, no, no, no, you're not, you're not megging the stallion, Kenya.
Yeah, Kenya trying to take on way more interesting people than her over and over in this episode.
So Candy like has gathered all the women and she's saying how she's like the mistress
of the evening because Candy's now in full on, you know, character. She's in dungeon, bedtime
candy, whatever it's called, character. And she tells us all that Bolo has been tested
and he's fine. I'm like, well, for coronavirus, but you know, let's see what else is on that
panel. And then, um, exactly, I'm going to need a full blood run out on this. Okay.
Like, I just want to even know about it's cholesterol.
What is his cholesterol?
What's his lipid panel?
So Cynthia's gonna be coming down.
I'm just concerned about Bolo's health.
Like, he has a young man with a future.
Bolo's out there with a blood pressure machine
on his deck.
Yeah.
During the full rundown.
That's one of his costumes.
He just wrapped himself in a giant blood pressure thing.
Because he has a little small.
He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's like he's pint-sized but beefy.
So he would kind of fit in one of those like blood pressure arm bands, you know.
Mm-hmm.
So all the girls are hiding in the kitchen and let's see. She can't
he's got a whip and so she calls for Cynthia. She's like Cynthia. Get down here.
So Cynthia comes down and she's like, am I gonna get a spanking? Yeah. And so
Cynthia goes to have a seat. I'm like, did you notice Cynthia that there was a
full-on sling hanging from the closet door?
We came downstairs. She still doesn't really know what's going on
so
So all the girls walk in and Cynthia is like
She's so confused
And Candy's like what is your alter ego? And she's like a
Just a whips her like
And she's like, uh, and Danny had just a whipser like, she's like, oh,
what did he send?
What did he send?
Yeah, now they're just all crawling around the ground and stuff.
Yeah, they're like cats.
They're like doing, yeah, they're doing like cats down there, which I watched by the way.
You finally watched it.
You're kind of doing cats.
Yeah.
And, you know, Kenya's on the ground doing, I don't know, I don't
even know. I don't even know what Kenya's through. The whole episode is like, what? She says the
move is called the chocolate souffle. Oh my God, we'll keep the oven closed.
So then, so yeah, so Kenya's there and her legs are like sort of open.
She's on her back and her legs are opening and closing.
And Drew was like, well, if she did that for Mark, maybe he would be in the house.
She would be splitting it and he'd be licking it.
I'm like, I know you're making a joke, but I don't approve.
I'm not going to give Mark even that crap.
I am not going to even be like, oh well, can you just give it up more?
No, fuck Mark.
He should be, these are the easy to stay back.
Yeah, fuck Mark and fuck Ralph too, by the way,
because she says she should join my side
and just stay married.
Oh yeah, okay, well the difference is
she's not taking his shit, well at least for now
in this time of filming.
And you're still taking your husband shit,
so I'm not gonna sit here and root for your terrible marriage.
Okay, lady.
At least Kenya knows which city markers in.
So yes.
So then we get to, now we are introduced to all the women's alter egos, which I think we
got a taste of like last week or two weeks ago where candy is, she's Mistress Angel and Porsche is peach juice.
Latoya is Trini Gaiau.
Candy is chocolate, Drew is lickety split.
Marlow is diva, Shamia is Vagina drip.
Candy is Dynastie and Falens is stuck at home
with her grandpa, slash husband.
Was Fallon there?
No, she was stuck at home with her husband.
Oh, okay.
Next door, where was gonna say, wow.
So they're all like grabbing their vaginas and stuff
as they announce and Cynthia's like,
Hello, Dynastie, because Tanya Cynthia's like, um, uh, hello, Dynastie,
because Tanya's on her like,
Hi, my name is Dynastie.
Yeah, and it's her sexy voice.
Yeah.
So, um, instead of being like,
Hi, I'm Tanya.
She's like, Hi.
She's like a hot, just haunted.
Dynastie. I'm Tanya. She's like, oh, she's like a hot just haunted
I'm not nasty the wickedest ghost of all holosie. No Tanya. It's
Sexy not spooky. Oh
I can't get out
And can't be tell Cynthia she's acting very anti-ish. Yeah, so Cynthia's like, I don't even know what's happening next. I don't know I'm sorry I don't even know what's coming next. No pun included. No pun included
So she's like become fifty cents right now and candy tells us that she's a teacher of sorts, own who you are and have a good time.
So she's like, now let me just say this. Kenya, your mask is upside down.
And they're all saying, yes, Mistress the Candy, she's asking things. They're all like,
yes, Mistress, I think we go back, we got back to Bolo in his glass
box.
And just like more, just like, like, it's actually almost like, and remember that movie
species when Natasha Henshitch is like this girl who's an alien and they keep her behind
glass, then finally she breaks through.
There's a little bit of that going through this as well.
Another reference that we'll go over the have. The BZ's action.
Yeah, go over the heads of many millennials.
This reminds me of guns smoke.
This reminds me of the great churren robbery.
When they aim that gun at the audience and everyone really fainted.
God, this is just like little house on the prairie.
So porcius like, um, we should have been doing this the whole weekend. We wouldn't have had any arguments.
Bolo in the box. So, Marlo is getting ready and she's like, put on this wedding little pockets in the, in the Vigine area.
And there's remotes.
And so, Cynthia has to put one on so that Candy can control the vibration remote on her
badge.
Yeah.
So, so they get into Cynthia and, and so, so this is getting into this outfit.
Cynthia does not look particularly comfortable
or happy about this.
I have to say she looked a little ill at ease.
I think that like, I sense that she wasn't totally,
I think being caught by surprise by having to then put on
like, you know, some be very scantily clad
and outfit that she didn't choose
and national television.
She did not look like she was fully buying in at the outset. I think she gets there, but I think at this point, she's just like, oh my God, and now I got to put this thing
in my garage.
She's like, I'm not ha-
Could you imagine if somebody came to me,
it was like, Ronnie, here's a jock strap
and a vibrating buttonhole thing that I control.
Happy birthday, we're going to shoot this on TV.
I would lose, I'm not gonna lose.
I'm gonna lose.
I'm gonna lose.
I'm gonna lose.
I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna lose. and a vibrating buttonhole thing that I control. Happy birthday, we're gonna shoot this on TV.
I would lose my mind.
Yeah, and then she comes down to stairs
with this thing in her crotch,
and she's just sort of like,
she did not come down with the grace of a supermodel.
She came down with the grace of someone
who has just recently shot their pants
and are just trying to hide it just did not seem
Like she was totally into this experience at this moment
Yeah, also we have to give credit to whoever is running the final cut edit booth because wow
You guys had to do a lot of blurring out of nipples in this
It was so funny and they had to do like moving, you know, where you're like tracking the nipples through the whole episode
I mean, this was like a dream works. This was like a dream works pretty step. It really it really was there
You know what it reminds me of the flight of the nadi gaffer. I'm just kidding so
This reminds me of the entertainer with Charlie Chaplin. This reminds me of that buzzer. He's moving where he's standing outside and the front of that barn falls over on right on top of him
But he's standing in a certain place he goes through the window
Little rascals
So anyway, um, so then candy of course activates Cynthia's vibrator. She's like, oh
You gotta tell me before you do that
You got to tell me before you do that
So they all line up and walk outside to see below in the salad bar and
They go to the balcony and see him that the biggest weener of all time is there and porous face is just
Her jaw is dropped. She and then it turns out like what?
She's she follows him on Instagram. I'm already so she's already well aware of his work. Apparently he's actually a pretty well-known
stripper down there in the HL. So like he already has a pretty big following. And then Marlow's
like, yes, follow with the fake Chanel on. You like fashion, but it's not authentic.
Yeah. And Marlow just doesn't get it. She's like, who would take something like that?
That's crazy. And Cynthia's like, pullo, gotta pick Peepie. Meenus, Peepie. Have to
say this. And Porsche's like, that's not real prove it. It's time for commercial.
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So they invite him in, he comes in, and Portia is, oh my god. This is just so all everyone's talking at once basically everyone's so excited to see this guy in loutorious
Just like can I sit on his face?
Yeah, she's really excited for it
So by the way, I just want to say that we know it's not real Chanel because if it was real Chanel
He would probably have like two little things dangling from each ball one saying sang shot, and the other sang now, just like dangling or from his nips. So now we go, now we have
Cynthia in the basic insect chair, and the producers like did Bo-Lo give you any special treatment,
and she's like, I saw some things I'll never forget, I think it's best to leave that all behind in North Carolina. Like, you know, South Carolina.
Whatever.
I have said no channel.
So Candy is handing out money
because she got 4,000 wins, which is amazing.
I mean, if anybody ever has a party for me,
please say something like this.
I have below the stripper in 4,000.
Yes, because is there anything else
she need to hear on your birthday?
Can we just like re-enact this episode?
Well, or at least parts this episode
at our next show we do in Atlanta,
because that would be great.
And I think by the way, today is like
the one year anniversary of our last live show,
which is really sad.
What, what, what?
Maybe it was yesterday.
But yeah.
Thank God for our giant arm length day.
It's been.
No, thank God there's giant arm length. Dicks. Been. No, thank God. There's always those to come for this.
No, I, um, I think when we next go to Atlanta, we should have
Bolo do a routine for us on stage and candy can give us 4,000
ones.
That's also why we are too cheap for Bolo.
We are too cheap, but we will take anybody who volunteers to do
that for free because you know, Boloolo's gonna be like $5,000.
Well, yeah, that's too bad.
I was gonna be like,
I need like an old Navy stripper, okay?
I don't need a Chanel stripper.
I need like an old Navy stripper
with like a medium sized weeder.
That's fine, just work for like $5.
Maybe we can get ridiculous.
Maybe now that Bolo's the new stripper,pper to juror now ridiculous needs to sort of like
build up his audience again so maybe we can get him on the you know poor
ridiculous was so upset watching so like
he's put in the work and they're just going to pretend he never existed
ridiculous was kind of fun though you know that i think his whole thing with
that he had like a super long dog and and so that was his whole thing, but like,
as an actual, like, Bolo was hot, you know?
Like, it's not just...
Bolo's gourd, yeah.
Not just the dick, right?
But ridiculous was kind of just hard.
It's not just the dick, it's his heart.
It's his commitment to the art, you know?
Like, I didn't see ridiculous doing any cartwheels.
I didn't see that, okay.
Okay.
So let's see here.
Candy's giving them all money and Candy's like,
oh my God, this is a pandemic, Candy.
This is like getting a PPP.
So then Bolo comes in and I feel kind of ad for at home
strippers, you know, because to dance and like kitchen lighting, you know?
It makes it sound like an at-home nurse.
No, but I agree.
There was definitely like not atmospheric lighting
and you know that they probably couldn't,
since they were filming at the probably
couldn't play any music.
So we just sort of had to vibrate in like weird silence.
Yes, like welcome to this brightly lit
fluorescent kitchen right behind us
where we store a checks mix.
Now get sexy.
Yeah, and there's a baby upstairs.
So, um, yeah,
so Marlow is like,
well, shit,
all these girls are going through problems
at home right now.
I mean, Kenya is going through divorce.
You know, the toy is trying to side
if she wants to stay with her husband
or go with Kenya.
Porsche is going through a temporary breakup
at the moment.
I mean, she looks like she's enjoying Bolo from the looks of it.
And then Cynthia goes to give money to Bolo and she gives some $4.
They all have like probably about $600 or $800.
Where then she gives $4.
And she just puts it right on the table all dangerly.
I remember it reminds me the first time I tipped a go-go dancer.
When I came out of the closet when I was 30 and so I went, it was sort of late, a little
bit of a late comer and so I went to some club here in LA and there was a go-go dancer
and I was with my friend Marcos who has been on this show before and I was like, I think I want there was a go-go dancer, and I was with my friend Marcos, who's been on this show before,
and I was like, I think I wanna chip the go-go dancer.
He's like, yeah, Ben, you should do it.
I was like, okay, so I had like a dollar,
and I went up to the go-go dancer,
and I just gave him the dollar, and then walked away,
and Marcos is like, what are you doing?
I'm like, what do you mean?
I gave him the dollar, he goes, no.
No. No.
For that dollar, you basically control him until he says,
you don't control him anymore.
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, you can touch him.
I was like, I can.
Yeah, I was like, you touch.
Oh, no, I don't do that either.
I'm very, I'm very cool.
Oh, no, I was like, really?
So I went up and I gave him another dollar.
And then I just was like touching his chest and everything else. I can't believe I'm very pulled. Oh, no, I was like really? So like I went up and I like, I gave him another dollar and then I just was like touching his like, his chest
and everything else like I can't believe I can do this.
This is crazy.
I was like, I was like, this is amazing.
So I was like, Cynthia at one point where I was just like,
I'm gonna watch, I don't do, I don't get nasty with strippers.
I'm very polite.
I'm very like, I turn into anti-roading with strippers.
I'm like, everything okay. You know, here's the a tenor. Hope you you know take a new per-home
Have you eaten properly? You know are you hydrated? Is your refrigerator full? Tell me how I can get there
Well, they're often very oiled up. I will say so like after I did the touching
I was like oh and then I like basically held my hand out like it was a dead fish until I got to the bathroom
Good watch it off. Well, yeah, I mean, and also people are rubbing dollars
all over them.
Do you know where dollars have been, okay?
Well, I mean, up cornholes, like literally up cornholes.
Do you remember one time where you with us
the time where we worked out?
And we took my friend Trisha with us,
and she got so upset.
She's like, people were putting dollars up his bottle.
This is so unfair to him.
If she left like crying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So, so anyway, yeah, Cynthia's like, ah, I made a drizzle.
I made a drizzle.
Yeah, she said she's a...
So now, Bullo is a budget conscious one in the group.
She's like the marshals stripper people, stripper audiences.
Yeah, so then Bullo turns into Carrie Strogan as like doing flips and bounces and things like that.
And can you believe there's a whole generation doesn't even
know who carries shrugging. How many arms do you have? And then
Simea tells us she gets an interview section and she goes, when can you put
money down Bolo's pants? All I could think of was that money could have been
spent on food for us the other day. That's true. Crab cakes first, stripper seconds.
Okay.
So then he starts to jump.
Then Bulls are doing this thing with his tongue.
Yeah, he like grabs his dick.
He's doing a thing with his tongue where he's like,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
and yeah, and these grabs his dick.
I didn't know if he was jerking off or just like pulling
it out to show or whatever.
I have to, I guess you're right.
I'm popping all that out.
You know, because you gotta keep it alive, you know,
it can't just go to sleep.
You gotta be like, come on, it's work time.
Your break time's like, okay,
Bolo's off now.
So he starts to leave and Porsche is like, no, come back.
So while Bolo, Bolo basically goes into some random room.
And then then they put Cynthia into the swing that's hanging from the closet door.
And Portia's wasted at this point.
She's like stumbling around.
I mean, she fell on Bolo earlier.
She's definitely drunk.
Yeah, and so Candy's like,
here's how you use this X-Wing.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, she starts pounding her
and Cynthia's screaming.
And Portia's like, oh my God, because Kenya falls to the ground and starts spreading
her legs and doing moves.
And Porsche's face.
Porsche is like, I see your uterus.
And she's horrible.
Yeah.
And then Candy takes a vibrator and just sticksicks it right on like it's sentia's badge but we
see it going that we don't actually like see it but but a Bappor should
describe what's happening she goes she's putting the thing on the thing and the
thing is reacting bring back boho and then get bring back boho bring back boho. Bring back boho. Bring back boho. Bring back boho.
I was like, I like to think that she was actually, you know, she actually wanted like
boho chic to come back or something.
Yeah, that little restaurant.
Bring back open call.
That little restaurant by the arc light.
Oh, miss that place.
Oh, boho.
So she goes to knock on boho's door.
And she's like, does the ladies want to know if you'll come back?
And she's like, are they still filming?
And she's like, I don't know, just come on.
So, um, candy goes, she's like, ladies,
put your mask back on because he's coming back out.
And hopefully we can get the camera guys
to turn those cameras off so we can have some fun.
And they agree, which is crazy.
And you know, it's because they have cameras everywhere
and there's audio going the whole night, so.
Right, so the woman basically shoved the guys,
the production out of the house, which is funny,
they are ready, they are like, come on, go, go, go, go.
So they all get their mics off, the crew leaves,
it's 12.45 in the morning. And now everyone starts moving the cameras to aim away.
They're basically doing a Ramona singer in the bookshaws,
pulling cameras off, et cetera, covering them, et cetera.
And then now the real bachelor party begins.
Come on, P Valley.
Yeah, someone says, yeah, this is some real P Valley realness. And then they,
it turns black and white because it's just the, you know, like security camera footage or whatever.
It's very clerks, you know, there's another movie reference for you guys.
Yeah, what have been clerks would have been a lot better though if it involved below rather than like two guys
and the guy, what's his face?
So slight clerks, but you know Kevin Smith is a stripper.
Oh, imagine Kevin Smith is your stripper.
Imagine.
So where's Bolo and his gang?
They're all excited and they are drunk and they're having so much fun and they're sloppy
and horny and I mean, Porsche is like, she's like, someone's eating me out tonight, one
of your bitches is eating me out tonight.
She's like ready. She is ready.
Yeah.
So then we can see through the blinds
because these camera guys are giving us everything
that they can, you know.
So we see one from outside through the blinds,
which is so shady because that means they turned
one of the outside cameras around
just so they can get it, you know.
And so you see Portia and Latoya making out on the couch. You just
see their heads making out. Yeah. Just, you know, really, this is, this is an episode where
we could have used Ralph's expertise. Like, we really needed some hidden cameras up in
there. Okay. I know. I know. That probably was Ralph's camera. They're like, Hey, Ralph,
can we just borrow some footage from you?
That's true. He's been he's been too easy about letting Drew go on vacation. He probably put cameras everywhere.
I know. So now it's the next interview and it's Drew's turn and he's like, so what time did you go to bed?
And she's like, I don't know, but I wasn't the last one. I'll tell you that. And I have no idea where Bolo's up. So stop asking.
but I wasn't the last one. I'll tell you that.
And I have no idea where Bolo's up.
So stop asking.
Now it's day four.
And Marlow is waking up in the bed
in her quote unquote dressing room.
And Kenya's talking about like how last time
it's so crazy and she's like, you know,
chocolate is here to give you all the tea and shade.
So at 118 AM, Kenya, I guess the Nanny brought Brooklyn up
to her, up to the room or upstairs or something like that.
And maybe Kenya went to check on it, check on her.
And so when the cameras were down,
everyone stayed downstairs and Kenya went upstairs
to check on her, on Brooklyn.
And then we hear Bolo, we see,
because we're seeing footage also, again,
this like through the Venetian blinds. And we hear Bolo, we see, because we're seeing footage also, again, this like through the Venetian blinds
and we hear Bolo saying something like, this is Bolo after dark.
Not to begin with, you should be brother after dark, although slightly better production quality.
Yeah, I'll tell you I have to mention that Marlowe is in bad reading a book called Self-Meditation
and she's reading it to her cell.
Create a sexual emotional being.
She's like, oh.
She probably was hoping it was self-medication.
Yeah.
And Bullo's like, I keep thinking that shit's going to be
on tour or some bullshit.
It's like, what?
Guys in the footage.
Yeah, I don't know what Bolo's even talking about.
I think Bolo's not supposed to talk, you know,
because every time we talk,
I'm like, what?
What did Bolo just say?
So Cynthia's like, oh, I can tell you this.
It's real.
Yeah, it's real.
She, yeah, Cynthia's whole thing was that she wasn't going
to go upstairs until she actually got to see the dick
and really verify how big it was.
So now we see Latoya and Portia making out on that sofa and Portia's like,
Well I remember kissing a couple people or what's it just one?
I don't know.
So she's laughing, etc.
And then Tania's moving the cameras around.
Oh sexy, Chad,ja, moving the cameras. Ooh.
Ooh.
And we hear Porsche going, no, I'm a lesbian.
And then we see Bolo doing something.
And I have no idea what he was doing,
because it's like the place your mind goes.
I mean, my mind isn't that dirty,
because it's like, is he shuffling cards?
What are they playing?
Are they playing cards?
It was like watching,
it was like a throwback to watching, you know.
It's like watching scrambled cable, basically.
You guys remember scrambled cable?
But it was.
That's cable.
So Kenya is, she's like,
and then every time I snuck back down stairs,
there was more stuff going on.
And then Drew's telling us,
oh yeah, I found myself face down on a coffee table.
I felt very free.
You can sort of see it, you can sort of see it.
Yeah, and she's saying like,
yeah, it was great.
I felt very free.
And it was interesting because throughout the rest of the episode,
Drew keeps like planting seeds about
like how wonderful this experience was because you know that she's
going to go back to Ralph and Ralph's going to be like, you went, he's not to him, he's not to
him, he's not to him, he's not to him. And she's going to be like, no, it was a liberating experience,
I learned moves. So you actually was on watch what happens, I watched a little bit of it after this. I just kept letting it play. And she said that he got kind of upset
when he saw it because she had described it to him, but for him to actually see it was
different, you know, which you don't really see that much, but he got really upset about
it. He got, he was in his feelings, but then she said, listen, you went to Tampa. And she
kept saying over and over and watch what happened. She's like, yeah, but he went to Tampa. It's like her thing.
And she kind of laughs about it, like, ah, I mean, come on. I'm married to the guy who
went to Tampa. So she, there's some interesting going dynamic going. Going on over there.
But I guess he eventually got over it, according to her.
Yeah. I don't know how much he really got over it. But I like that she throws tap in his
face because that's what we all do.
So, yeah, so she's like based down on the coffee table with Bolo on top of her.
And then they're like, okay, Tanya, you do it now.
You, Tanya, you, Tanya, she's like, no, no, I will get in real trouble.
Yeah, she's like, I cannot go with follow and of course, you're like, yes, you can girl.
And then, um, Tanya's like, yeah, I'll get in so much trouble.
Trouble. And then Bolo goes group hug.
And he goes, Hey, as, as long as I got a face, you always got somewhere to sit.
So then, um, Kenya is telling us, and and it 6 a.m. I was up and there
was no one in the living room. And we see like shots of the night. There's like a half
eaten sandwich on the couch and just like a braid, like a lost braid torn off and on the
floor. Yeah. And basically because we see it it, like, 452 AM,
Bolo's going, oh my god.
And then he walks off with at least one girl.
Right? We just see legs walking off.
And so 6 AM, yeah, Kenya was downstairs,
and she heard noises, and she heard moans,
and groans, and voices from the hallway.
And then we see Bolo leaving at 7 AM.
It's like, you just like bounce into a car and heads off.
Yeah, it's like detective music playing as he leaves.
So then we got a Cynthia waking up and Drew comes in,
you know, to say good morning and stuff.
And she's like, why is your bra hanging from the TV?
She's like, oh, I thought that was a swing, sorry.
It's very confused.
So they're, so she starts talking about being in the living room and how everybody was just busing
it wide open and through, it's like, well, I came back, but I was there.
And so they start comparing notes, basically.
And Drew's like, well, I saw a lot of faces and booties.
And Cynthia says, yeah, Portia was on the floor.
And then Toya was on top of Portia.
And then Tanny was on top of
Then and then they had to me like she was just waiting in the wings like waiting in line
She's a swing basically no pun intended so then
Yeah, and then there's and then Drew's this we're true is saying that she thinks Ralph is gonna be really happy because she's going to come back with all these tricks and moves.
I'm like, okay, spin it however you want to spin it.
Ralph will not be happy.
He is a prick and he will be furious.
So Cynthia's like, so when did you go to bed?
And Drew says, oh, well, it just seemed like it was getting to be a lot.
So I went to bed.
And Cynthia said, yeah, well, they taped the cameras over
and she was like, yeah, they better had.
So are you gonna tell Mike that you saw the thing thing?
And Cynthia says, yeah, I'm gonna tell Mike,
but I'm gonna tell him personally.
Yeah.
Oh, and then LaToria's in the kitchen
and she's like, okay, well, we've set up a boat
for you guys for the day.
I love that LaToria's being the wife. She's like, okay, well, we've set up a boat for you guys for the day. I love that LaToria is being the wife.
She's like, oh, yeah.
This is what I've done for this trip, everybody.
Exactly.
That she's set up a boat that they're going to go on, but she's, you know, hungover.
So she won't be going on it.
And Tanya comes out and she's like, oh, this looks like a whorehouse.
Ruh, a very sexy whorehouse.
Ruh.
Ruh. Like Tanya, please, it's not Halloween. sexy. What's wrong?
Like, Tanya, please, it's not Halloween.
Woo!
So Marla comes down and she's talking to candy
about being tired or whatever.
And then Drew's like, Miss Lickety,
split us here.
Who's coming to the boat?
And Shami is not going.
So group are staying home because they party too hard. is like miss like an expletives here we who's coming to the boat and she me is not going so group
are staying home because they party too hard yeah and Marlos like well I have one complaint I couldn't
sleep in my bedroom because too much was going on in here and then we cut to that poor sad half
eaten sandwich on the couch yeah so she's like I had to sleep on the side of the bed in my dressing room
so uh yeah then Kenya comes in she's like like, I think I smell some badducing
down here. And, and, and candy's like a lot of things happen throughout the night. There
were a few people giving below a lot of attention. Yes. And so Kenya starts it. Here we go with
Kenya. Of course, Kenya is this person, you know, so Drew's like well
You're not smelling me and Kenny goes well. I heard you were doing the most. She's like it was a bachelor at party
Was there humming and found yeah, and Kenya's like yeah
She goes I think the only one smart enough to sit back and watch was the mistress in this group
So Portia comes in dressed like all fancy.
She's going to the reviera.
Yeah, they're like, where are you going?
Think we're going on a boat, right?
It's a fishing boat.
They're like, we're going crabbing.
We're not going on a yacht.
She's like, oh, quick teams.
So Kenya's like, so what bed were you in last night?
Because it was pretty loud in there.
And Ken, he's like, not me.
And she and me just goes, what bed?
Yeah.
Ken is like, what happens in the dungeon?
Stays in the dungeon, which was her sort of like polite warning
to Ken, yet a shut up, you know, but Ken, it does not, of course,
to get or stop.
Yeah, girl code, girl code. Come on. So they start.
So yeah, go ahead. Sorry.
So they basically, they start heading out the door and Marlow is also dressed fancy.
And she's like, so what kind of boat is this? Like a luxury boat or something?
And Ken just like, I think it's a fishing boat. A fishing boat.
But she doesn't change. She just goes anyway.
And she's also wearing something on her head that looks like those newborn babies with
mischaping heads.
You know, like, Dorek Kimzley's baby had to wear one of those helmet things on her head,
made a foam.
I don't know.
It was a choice.
It was a choice.
So, the producer is interviewing Kenya and he's like, you like playing games, don't you?
And she's like, sometimes, and then she does the slow leg
and cross and then the slow leg cross again.
Yeah, which was kind of funny just because obviously
nothing was shown.
So like, I thought I would have actually been funny if they
like censored it out with like a peach or something
because I mean, isn't that what that's most famous for
for those of you who remember the movie?
Yeah, like an actual beaver comes out or something.
I mean, something.
Or just like Mark daily, but either way.
So now Kenya's downstairs with Cynthia
and Cynthia's like, Ros Rose for the Jose's.
And so they sit by the pool and they start talking.
And they're of course talking about last night.
And Cynthia starts saying how she's like,
she's like, no, for a minute, for a minute,
Sarah's like, the girls were all like,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And yeah, I watched for 20 minutes before I left I liked it.
It's like what were you turned on?
She's like yeah I enjoyed that girl on girl uh maybe too much.
So Kenny is like yeah well I sat there for a while and I sat Toya on top of Porsche
grinding and kissing and Tanya was on toy and they were kissing and it just kept escalating
there were some boobs and some breasts and some polo.
And then his head would disappear.
And she's like, what?
And now that I didn't see.
Yeah, I also think this stack of real housewives
is kind of intriguing.
It reminds me of that old video game burger time
where you had the bun and you had to catch the patty
and then the lettuce and tomato and the cheese.
It's like, I feel like they're midway through making their burger.
They're like Porsche Latoya, Tanya burger.
So on the bus, Marlo is like, wow, I was really shocked.
That was crazy.
And I was talked about chocolate and Candy says,
oh, you thought she would be boring?
And are they talking about Tanya?
I think they're talking about Kenya,
because she's talking about...
Oh, Kenya, yeah, yeah, because Kenya's chocolate souffle.
Yeah, because she stayed in her character
and Marl is like, oh, she's not as boring as we thought.
So, and she says, I was like, like wash your hands Just please wash your hands
So they're talking well Kenyan Cynthia talking by the pool so Kenyan's like well Drew
I was totally shocked by Drew. I'm like what was true doing well, but wasn't she doing was she dancing if you call that dancing and this
And this and this and this
called that dancing and this uh and this uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, she's got the whip and she's like, the real mistress is in town, she's risen from the dead.
So Kenya starts interrogating Latoya and she's like, I wanna know who's pussy got murdered
in these sheets last night.
She's like, who are you kissing? And and she says I was not kissing anybody and
Can you say I am going to play detective I need permission your honor to treat this witness as a hostile witness
And she tells us I don't care what Latoya did. I just want to know who paid the stripper
So she goes she says there's evidence that belowolo left at 7 a.m. and the
tour is like who's Bolo?
She's like I didn't order any Bolo's. So Marlo left the party first and then Cynthia was next
and then Porosha started saying she doesn't really remember anything because she was next. And then Porosha started saying, and she doesn't really remember anything
because she was wasted.
Because I guess they're talking about this
on the way the boat or whatever.
And she's like, Porosha's like,
she's like, I can't tell you where everyone else was,
but I can tell you who I am, Drata with,
and I interacted with everybody.
So, Candy heard someone in the kitchen,
and it was Marlow, but Marlow couldn't see anything because it was the kitchen and it was Marlow but Marlow
couldn't see anything because it was too dark and it was six and candy's like
okay so that was you in the kitchen so then back to Kenya. Kenya's like how many
drinks did you have to yeah she's like after 10 I lost count so she's like what
your proof that you did not stay up and sleep with long dick below. And to me, it's like, I was on Instagram.
We see toy on Instagram live just being,
ha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
this is basically just like a very unique season of cereal.
It's like,
bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.
So I went to the house in South Carolina and I found that there was
a phone booth, 45 steps away and a best buy. So I drove the best buy and I found Bolo
working there. It was actually a pretty easy case. So I just asked him who he owned and
the answer on the next episode of cereal. Spur meal. You said he flipped you on the table.
Can I remember that lawyer?
Yeah.
Did you or did you not make a stack of housewives?
So the other girls get to the dock and Marlos having trouble
getting down and heels.
But don't worry, she's brought feather slippers, you know, of course she did.
So they start getting onto a boat.
They're all happy and they're chanting girls, girls, girls, trip.
So back with the other girls, 10 minutes.
But Marlow turns to the guy when they get to the boat.
Marlow turns to the guy with the boat and she goes where's the boat?
And he goes right here. Just no, no, the boat we're going to be going on. He's like
Sorry, this is it. It's fishing boats
So Tamiya and Shemia join the other girls at the pool and Kenya's like how did you sleep?
And she's like, I'm good. It was so funny. Oh, Cynthia, you did such a good job.
It was so fun. And Keny is like, welcome to Bowler Court. Miss Shemia, where are you from
to you? A m to seven. A m. And she's like, uh, do I get a lawyer? The fun. And the court
is lawyer. Um, and Keny is like, uh, and then Ken, Shemia says that, um that she got into bed at 4.30 a.m.
And then Kenya says this thing, maybe I misheard it or I just didn't understand it.
She says, if you got a whole friend, it makes people think you're a hoe.
Sorry, but she's not.
Yeah.
If you have a hoe brand, people think you are a whole but she's not I
Didn't get it. I need to call the stenographer from Bolo court to get some clarification
So she's like, okay, let's move on to Tanya. So how long would you say Mr. Longfolo was present and she's like, oh, I don't know that info
And can you tell us yeah Tanya pretends to be all prim and proper, but those are the freaky ass to rest to me
So um, yeah, it's kind of suspect that Tanya really doesn't have
a good answer at all.
And she just sort of, she looks a little guilty.
And I don't know if that's me projecting onto her,
just because the rumors are that it's Tanya and Portia
in the threesome.
So like, you know, when you suspect someone's guilty,
then you start seeing the guilt and everything
that they do.
But she didn't really seem the most innocent.
So in the middle of this,
then we go to commercial.
And the very first commercial that pops up
is a commercial for Mario Party for the Nintendo Switch.
And I'm like, of course, in the middle of this episode,
this super sized episode that features like actual penis,
vibrators and vaginas,
three Sims talking about, you know,
like licking pussies or whatever.
Hey, Mario Party.
That's a good thing.
James was perfect.
Some of them on Facebook said that there is also
like a birth control commercial or something on there,
which I thought was really funny.
It's like, okay, here's some, you know,
here's a lot of fucking and then here's some birth control
So you don't have the kid and then if you do if that doesn't work and you do have the kid here's some Mario party to keep the kid busy
Well, you're with the stripper. Yeah, and and a commercial was basically three women that were like
I'm so glad that we chose to bubble together. Let's play Mario party
I'm like this is a very different social experience than what's happening on real access to Atlanta
Unless Mario comes in with like a dick out lines like, it's a me Mario. I can see that my face.
I heard the three women were playing with Mario all night.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
So was there any more kissing at the after party? Let's go let's a whole
So was there any more kissing at the after party
So Candy is talking about the after party with other girls and
How crazy to get candy candy is like yeah
Between one and ten it got to 100 and waited below sleep and she's like, below, never tells. Well, lady never.
So then she was doing her basic instinct thing.
That was her basic instinct scene.
Oh, yes, I think that I was wondering how come they were all
in basic instinct, but Kenny was the only one really doing it.
Yeah, they were just, it was, I mean, the basic, again,
the basic instinct analogy just didn't even
make sense because that's not like basic instinct is a sexual film but that's where the relationship
to this episode seems to end for me. I don't understand. There's no ice picks involved. There's no
there's no sudden movies from the 90s and gone with that. You know, like we could have had a Howard the duck segment. First gump.
Loth is like a box of bolos. You never know what you're going to get.
Oh, never know what's got to choke you.
So then, um, let's see, guitar, soft guitar music is playing because now a guy is showing
them how to fish. And Marlowe's
just standing there with a fishing pole and that thing on her head like, oh, I'm ready.
Yeah. And the guy's like, all right, keep your rod tip up. I'm like, wow, this episode is really
all about imagery, isn't it? So, so they, um, so they're all just like, you know, fishing and everything.
And Marlowe's saying that she and Kenny and we're getting along and they just realized they both
Were hurt and you know, she's like, you know, I just realized like we're both her and I'm willing to let it go
But she just really doesn't like me, huh?
I got something. I got something. I got something
So I'm thinking it's gonna be the usual thing where someone pulls up like a little, you know
It's like a like a guppy, you know Marlo pulls up like a little, you know, like a, like a guppy, you know,
Marlow pulls up an enormous shark,
like an enormous shark.
Of course, of course Marlow catches a shark.
Yes, and so they're going to the sisterhood
to get this in and they're all cheering for her.
Pull them back.
Yeah.
And it's so big.
It's so big.
It's so big. It's a big ash. I mean, by the way, South Carolina is like a little baby shark
Baby shark. No, it is but I'm saying that like
It's it's not a great way, but for like a casual boating experience. That's a large ash shark
The large ash shark
Yeah, and then they're so mean, you know, I'm sorry, but you don't just, it's
this humongous hook that they've caught the shark with and you see it in the sharks
cheek or whatever when they pull the shark out.
And the guys like, I'm just going to cut the lines.
So now the shark has to swim around with that thing in it.
Gee, that's a digs.
And they're like giving each other high fives.
They're like, yeah, we did it.
And then the shark has to go to Bolo court.
They're like, who were you way that 3 p.m. today?
I don't remember. I was drunk really?
Cause you got a hook in your mouth.
So they all had a really good bonding time fishing.
So then we're back home and the ladies are returning.
And of course, just like, I feel like a man coming home
from work, I better smell some food.
We're home.
Yeah.
And Tanny's like, oh my God, save us.
Apparently we're in a court.
Bala court.
And Tanny's like, host, did you all get us something to eat?
Mm.
I'm just like, I'm getting right to you this now.
So Kenya's like, I am hot on the trail of 6 a.m.
A 6 a.m. porn obsession, but I'm not going to have a repeat of crab gate gate.
So, but by the way, there's no indication that she actually feeds them after this
because it's that's like now it's like it's like late afternoon or evening.
So I don't know if they ever got their launch to be honest.
So Drew's calling Ralph and he's in the new house.
And he's like, this is the most stressful move ever.
I had to find a new place to hide my cameras.
You know, this is impossible.
And now it's raining.
It's impossible to move off.
I realized that Ralph talks like Frank Catania,
but might as the list.
So like where Frank would be like,
Dolores, it's impossible to move like this.
Ralph is just like, Dolores, it's impossible to move like
it's so much to move in the house right now.
It's so much, it's raining, it's raining.
He's almost like a really agitated Austin.
He's somewhere between Austin and Frank Catania.
I don't pay him enough attention. I don't pay him I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I, you know, I don't know, just thinking off the top of my head.
So Latoya is cooking.
They got like crab boil kits or something.
So she's in the kitchen trying to figure out how to cook
and she can't release.
She's like, big oven mitts to just carry pants and stuff
and dropping lids everywhere.
So Marlo comes in to help her out.
So like, first of all, you need some more water.
I caught a shark.
Why does nobody believe me?
Of all the annoying things that Latoya has done all season,
this was like my number one, just her destruction
of these ingredients.
I mean, she's making a crab oil
and she has not put water into the pot.
Does she understand the concept of boiling?
Marlotte looks and is like, where's the water?
Why is there water?
And then they're like, you put the shrimp in already.
It was just like, why?
My mother cooks for me.
I don't know how to do this.
Marlotte, say, all right, well, you get the bad shrimp then.
Yeah, I'll have the shark.
So Kenya and Candy are talking and Candy is saying how she was
up early this morning and Candy is like, why'd you hear something? And Candy goes, and
Candy's like, Candy had a lot of candy squeals in this one.
And she's like, I sleep very heavy.
What did you hear?
And candy's like, well, I came to this bridge to get milk,
and I heard things in the twereys like, what, like moaning?
At 6 a.m.
Okay, so you into bed, who else was left?
And candy's like, oh my God,
you're trying to get a suspect lift list. Let these people live, okay, so you went to bed. Who else was left? And Candy's like, oh my God, you're trying to get a suspect lift list. Let these people live, okay?
Yeah, exactly. So Shemia joins and so Candy is still talking about how she heard noises and everything.
And I can't just like, well, how do you know it just wasn't a private dance?
I can't just like, what lasted 45 minutes? And it's like, oh, so you sat outside the door for 45 minutes?
Like, so you made your baby wait 45 minutes?
Is that what happened?
Lier.
So Ken is like, between Porsche and Candy's room.
And then we see why we get that, why we got that layout
of the plans of the house.
I can see that.
Because it pops up on screen.
So she's like, OK, well, Candy's room, between Portia
and Candy's room is this little room.
And that's the room I heard it from.
And that was a freak show.
And I heard someone say, F this P harder, F it harder.
And Shemie goes, well, they could have just been watching porn.
Candy is like, yeah, the stripper with a 20-inch dig
is just sitting in there watching porn. Ken is like, yeah, the stripper with a 20 inch dig is just sitting in there watching porn.
Yeah.
And I heard multiple voices.
And it's like, Ken, you're not understanding
that there can be multiple people in porn.
So then Ken, you tell us, well, I know Portia's voice.
So I knew it was her.
And the luxurious says, you know, that's their business.
And they're telling her, listen, that's girl code like what the hell and the producer asked candy
So are you glad you went to bed and she's like well, I went to bed before the actual well
I'm not gonna admit what I heard but I was in the room before what allegedly
happened the room where it happened.
So, so now Marlo gets a basic instincts moment,
which is very exciting for her.
And it's like, where were you during the after part?
It was my idea, my business.
You ever heard of snitches, get stitches?
You ever heard of sharks got caught?
By powerful women?
How about that one?
You're that one before?
Why don't you believe me?
No one believes me.
So Cynthia goes, she calls Marlow and she's
like, um, I need you upstairs please because I need help with earrings. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Okay, I didn't really need help with earrings. I just. Yeah. So I'm Malo's like, oh, I need a passionate hope today.
Look what I have on.
And she just has like torn jeans and this like, like top or whatever.
And like a headband.
So Cynthia is saying, she's been thinking about Marlo and Kenya.
And she just wants them to get to a respectful place. And she goes,
we cannot have another trip where the drama follows us back to Atlanta. I'm like, good luck with that.
Bolo. Yeah. So Marlowe's like, you know, I don't want to just like hang out with her, but we should just be cool. And so Cynthia's gonna mediate a talk between Marlow and Kenya.
And then we see Kenya being mean to Marlow.
We get a clip of all these moments.
You're the only woman I know with the square reader
between your legs.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
So then they walked down the hall,
and Marlow's like, wait, right now.
So they walk in and Kenya is being distant in the room and everything.
And Cynthia is like, you know, it's time for you guys to get to a respectful place.
And Kenja just says that, you know, she's sick of all the ugliness, you know, and like,
she's like, you know, she can deal with all the light shade about like her skin and her butt,
which by the way, I don't think she can deal with.
And, but she goes, but you attack me
on the deepest level.
And you see like Marlow making fun of Kenya
for her mom leaving her and for like, you know,
and just like making fun of the baby.
And there was like a flashback
on the scene that I forgot where Marlow goes,
oh, Kenya's over there,
and she's praying, I didn't even see Kenya. And then she does like a flashback in the scene that I forgot where Mar-a-Logos. Oh, Keny is over there. She's pregnant.
I didn't even see Keny.
And then she does like a basic rose.
Look at her.
Yeah, I was thinking about it.
Yeah.
And Keny is like, can't you just be happy for me?
You know how hard it was for me to get pregnant.
And I don't even understand how we start over after all of that.
And it's just quiet.
And Mar-a was like, well, when we were friends,
when we weren't friends, I didn't care about your feelings.
And so when you said you were pregnant,
I was like, oh, she's not pregnant.
I mean, that was awful, but I wasn't in the place I'm in now.
Yeah, I mean, look, I'm no Kenya fan,
but you were being addicted Kenya because of Nini.
Yeah.
And now Nini is gone.
So you want to be nice to Kenya because you
need you need someone else to kind of like anchor you on the show. Exactly. Let's just call it what it
is. Marl. Okay. So Kenya is like, well, then I owe you an apology too because I gave you a bad room.
So will you accept my apology? I'm not I was like, I appreciate the respect. And so now they're friends again.
Yeah, exactly. So, and then we get a montage of seven years ago when they were friends,
which I forgot about. And I think that that actually caused the big rift between
Neenie and Kenya back in the day, right? Because they were just sort of, they kind of co-existed,
but they weren't. They didn't really like, it wasn't really bad. But I think that when Marlow became friends with Kenya, I think Neenie, like she shun Marlow and got
mad at Kenya about it. Wasn't that like a big fight that they had back in the day? It
was like, one of Neenie's classic petty fights about something that really makes sense.
Yes. Remember when Marlow showed up to the softball field, that Neenie yelled at her?
That's what I was thinking about. That was the whole thing.
I was like, I guess she was playing on Kenya's team
or something.
I don't know.
The mini is ridiculous.
So now, now another basic instinct
has been yet.
Bring in Miss Williams, but she's not there.
And like, Portia has led the fifth.
It lights out.
They're really committed to this bit.
So. So I'm Tanya and Semyya and Portia are talking getting ready for dinner and Portia is
saging them and Shamiya is like, well, you need to sage out there too because it's not
pretty out there.
I mean, first of all, Tanya, tell Portia what happened at the pool.
So she's like, Ganya was all about wearing a judge voice? And I said, get out of this
house where you will die. Yeah, they're talking about Bolochor and saying that Kenia was talking about
a threesome and porcish is like, down there, what? And and Tania's like very quiet. Like, there's definitely a vibe here of like guilt,
but at the same time, it's kind of like,
what do they have?
Porsche, at the very least, Porsche
has nothing to feel guilty about.
If she partook in Bolo, she is a single woman,
she's allowed to.
I don't know what the deal is with Tania
or her husband or whatever,
but definitely they were, there was definitely a vibe of,
they seemed to ill at ease about all of this stuff
that was happening.
Yeah, Portia seemed to be okay.
She was just mad at Kenya,
because basically Portia was telling Tania,
oh, don't worry, you're not gonna get in trouble.
You know, she's kind of egging Tanya on.
And I think all the girls were like,
okay, we sent the camera home and we all had kind of an agreement like a silent agreement maybe but an agreement that
this was just going to stay between us, you know, so of course Kenya's the one down there blowing
everything up. So of course, she's like, well, what is she even implying? And she's like, well,
she's basically implying that you guys fuck the stripper. I mean, what do you want me to say? So then Kenya and the kitchen is talking, oh no, Kenya is still talking to Marla and she's like, well, she's basically implying that you guys fuck the stripper. I mean, what do you want me to say?
So then Kenya and the kitchen is talking,
oh no, Kenya is still talking to Marlo.
And she's like, well, you know, here's the funny thing.
Me and you are the only two who are like eligible
to participate with Bo-Lo, you know?
And I stopped working.
And Marlo's like, well, I went down to six,
you know, I didn't see anything, but I heard stuff.
And she's like, oh my God, you heard it too.
Yes. I was like, oh God, this is the see anything, but I heard stuff. And she's like, Oh my God, you heard it to yes.
I was like, Oh God, this is the worst possible time for these two.
I know that's what I was thinking. I was kind of like, like, this shot and like,
that's part of me that likes Shadden food. Kind of was happy. I was like, Oh God, the two,
the two most evil people have come together and are compiling their, like, are creating
their story. I was like, this is, is this is this is terrible for the other girls.
So, um, yes, and now Porsche is saying that like Ken is making up stuff and Ken is like she's making disparaging comments about you and me involving a stripper.
A cursor ahead. her son or head. Woo. She's so disgusting. She wants us to be fired up.
Well, she's tired, and I'm not gonna bother
with her in her life.
But she is so mad, you know?
Yeah, so.
Understandably, because her in her mind
is like, why can't we just have fun
without you trying to turn it into a thing
and trying to use it against us, you know?
Yeah, yeah, because she's Kenya,
because she is Kenya.
That's what she's doing.
We have no friends, Kenya.
Just making a TV show.
So then we hear Marlow saying, well, maybe,
maybe someone was having a wet dream in there.
Maybe it was a wet dream.
So Tania goes up to Latoya and it's like,
so Latoya, I heard that Kenya is going around,
saying things. And Latoya was like, heard that Kenya is going around, saying things.
And Latoya was like, yeah, Kenya is doing an investigation.
And Portia was like, you know, I was gonna talk about,
tonight about how much fun we've been having.
But now I gotta like, why do I have to wake up
and answer for it now, because of Kenya?
Like, that's bullshit.
Like, hey, Latoya, how do you feel
about your friendship with her?
And basically now, Latoya is like, oh yeah, now I understand the issue with Kenya because
you know, she's making her fun night into a problem.
So Latoya is pretending like she's going to turn against Kenya, but she's not going
to.
I've seen enough survivor to know the fake out.
Okay, when someone acts like they're going to vote out, the person that they should vote
out and then they don't I see the fake out
Yeah, but porcise kind of falling for it. She's like well, maybe that girl does have a backbone a baby back
So um back with Marlon Canyon Marlose like okay, now that we've made up can I hold Brooklyn? She's like there's levels Marlon
So then um
Everyone starts gathering outside to eat dinner and the music is dramatic and Porsche is so mad
And she's like, I'm not gonna eat, I'm not hungry, that food might be poisoned
So then Marlo and Candy walking together and everyone's like, oh shit, you know, they're like yay. Oh no, God
like, oh shit, you know, they're like, yay. Oh, no, God.
Katie's like, candy and Marlowe together.
And then Drew goes, all I can say is prayer works. Jesus is real.
Yeah. Um, so they're like, do you guys want to sit next to each other now? And they're both like, um, no, we don't need to go that far. So
Porsche is mad. She's like, Oh, we don't need to go that far. So Portia is mad.
She's like, oh, look who has an ally in the house now
after alienating everybody else.
Kenya, it's always Kenya.
And then they're like, and I say grace.
And Portia's like, I don't have a prayer in me.
I guess, to be continued.
And then it fades out and it goes,
you just hear it go, Jesus, take me to a Hollywood round. Definitely the best episode of Atlanta this season.
And you know what, it was so fun.
Like I actually felt like I was really happy for all the women because they just looked
like they were having the best night ever.
They were drunk.
They were just like being free and having fun and freaky and why not.
You know, everyone deserves a night like that.
So God, it was sometimes, you know, it just goes to show that you can have a really fun
episode without like a huge, you know, meltdown fight.
I mean, I love a meltdown fight.
But sometimes when you watch people having like a huge amount of like true unbridled fun,
it's kind of contagious, you know?
Yeah, I was cracking up watching this and cheering
and hiding my face and like looking around the room
to see if anybody could see me, you know?
And I apologize for saying the word contagious
in the context of below, I'm sure it's very triggering
for many people who have experienced the below show.
But either way, super fun, can't wait to see
what happens next week. We are back
tomorrow to talk about, oh, below, I guess below deck reunion tomorrow, that should be interesting.
And we got a full, a full, we've got Dallas after that. Brandy, Redmond, left, left Dallas. She's
quit. And so I'm sure we'll be, we'll be discussing that probably on Tuesday or Wednesday, I should say.
discussing that probably on Tuesday or Wednesday I should say. And until then, everyone stays safe.
And, you know, hope everyone gets a little taste of Bolo tonight.
Bye everybody.
Bye.
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